#john mulaney being relatable

[toushindai]

how about “Sonia” for the guessing word meme. Obviously it isn't related to the fic at all, right? ☕

ok I meant to specify "no proper nouns" but I forgot to so for catching me out in that, mmm here's what we're gonna do. I like this bit but it might maybe perhaps have to go away if the conversation it occurs in winds up too scattered so for your viewing pleasure I present: Sonia negs the man fucking her husband

Sonia only chuckles lightly over her tea. “Oh, no, Lord Ganondorf, I will admit that you are attractive, but not enough to inspire disloyalty in my husband. He wouldn’t have gone to you at all if we hadn’t talked about it first.”

henceforth, no proper nouns. there is actually one word that would be an absolute goldmine--and it's not a sexual word for the record--but no one's gotten anywhere near it just yet.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Sep 20th

~*~

1. in a mood for wangxian and nielan as major pairings canon divergent fics ( not explicit and not modern aus) or arranged marriage ( with angst with a happy ending)

A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, WWX & Wen Remnants, Jiang Family & WWX, WQ/MM, JYL/NHS, LXC/NMJ, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel fix-it, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly) link in #8A

🔒 shades of grey spill from my veins (bleeding ink all over the page) by Reverie (cl410) (M, 58k, NMJ/LXC, wangxian, NHS/WN, POV NMJ, Canon Divergence, Joining the “Wei Wuxian raised by the Nie Sect” Club, Mentions of WWX’s life on the streets, Hurt/Comfort, Accidental Sibling Acquisition, Single Dad NMJ, NHS & WWX Friendship, Fluff, Humor, Happy Ending, Everyone Lives AU, Protective NMJ, Sunshot Campaign, Some angst, Blood and Injury, Kidnapping, Protective Siblings, Found Family)

🔒 Not my lips you kissed (but my soul) by luckymoonly (M, 20k, WangXian, NMJ/LXC, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Sunshot Campaign, Fall of Lotus Pier, Happy Ending, Starts from chapter 55, Romance, fast burn, WWX and NHS are BFF, Horny Teenagers, Loss of Virginity, Smut, Angst, getting together early, no loss of golden core, pregnant WWX, Mpreg, soup drama, Matchmaker WN, Smugji strikes again, Everyone Is Gay)

~*~

2. for itmf!

fics where wangxian are DADS, better if they're girl dads!!

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

🔒 Little Stars by Aki_no_hikari (G, 4k, WangXian, Family Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect)

Jiang Xiaolian’s Guide to Motherhood and Gardening by bumbledees (T, 14k, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, Crack Taken Mostly Seriously, like many of WWX’s best ideas it starts as a joke!, and then i write it, canon is sad bitch let’s get you some fun, purposeful baby aquisition, john mulaney voice: you know those days when you’re like ‘this might as well happen’, that’s this fic, WWX when will you learn that there are consequences to your actions, have a melon baby)

🔒 Little fall of rain by luckymoonly (M, 10k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, WWX didn’t know he was pregnant, Mpreg, Mention of Birth, Family Feels, Nielan himbo rights, soft LQR, Misunderstandings, jealous LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Smut, Breastfeeding, Thirsty Granny Wen, JGS being his usual self)

Where the Lonely Ones Go by CSHfic & VSfic (T, 24k, WangXian, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Case Fic, Night Hunts Fluff, Established Relationship, Mystery, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Haunting, Kid Fic, Post-Canon, gratuitous use of empathy)

~*~

3. I recently read and loved The Second Hand Unwinds by TrulyWicked. So for itmf, are there any other fics where Nie Huaisang, Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian swear brotherhood? 🥹 @starlightrenmin

~*~

4. For the next itmf:

A) Do you guys know any fics with wwx being doted on by lwj or the juniors in public? i love wwx being loved 🥹

B) Also any fics that show wwx and wen ning or nie huaisang’s friendship/ brotherhood in more depth? anything where wwx learns what it means to have a true brother and being cared for

Thank you so much for all that you do!

4A)

I’m Going Out (Gonna Make A Name For Me And You) by cosmicmilktea (T, 16k, wangxian, post-canon, chief cultivator LWJ, Mentor WWX, intersect relations, slow burn, sickness)

Trust by FlyingMachine1 (G, 8k, WWX & the Junior Ensemble, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, background wangxian, BAMF!WWX, Humor)

Proximity To Knowledge by ChilianXianzi (T, 7k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Married Wangxian, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Teacher WWX, Inventor WWX, And his research assistant Lan ducklings, LQR is not a good educator, the kids are alright, WWX did online learning before it was cool)

See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)

💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, wangxian, protective LWJ, genius LWJ, post-canon, fluff & humor, getting together, chief cultivator LWJ)

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (M, 28k, WangXian Post-Canon, Getting Together, Love Letters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Literal Sleeping Together, Intimacy, CQL Compliant, No Plot Just Feelings, First Time)

call me home and I'll build you a throne by anaphoricae (E, 51k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Post-CQL, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Gusu Lan Juniors Dynamics, Touch-Starved, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sexual Intimacy, Lán Juniors Gossiping about Wangxian, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Farmer WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Mutual Pining, Communication, Quietly Falling Into a Married Life, Light Angst, Wholesome, POV LWJ, POV WWX, LWJ in braids agenda, Sharing a Bed, Semi-Public Sex, Inventor WWX, Jealous WWX)

4B)

Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, NHS & WWX, wangxian, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Inventor WWX, Found Family, NHS needs a new hobby, And apparently that’s spoiling his Wei-Xiong, Mentioned Character Death, Alcohol, Protective NHS, WangXian Endgame, Not JC Friendly, Not particularly gentry sects friendly overall tbh)

A Brother's Choice by Admiranda (M, 8k, Time Travel, Yiling Bros, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, madam yu's canonical cruelty, Post-Canon Setting)

~*~

5. Hello! I Hope you're all having a good day! I'm not sure how to ask, but does anyone have any recs of fics where WWX marries LWJ and into the Lan Clan and kind of becomes it's Furen? Not like, seen as a woman, but taking on the job that the Sect Furen would take, because LXC didn't marry? As in hearing the demands of the women of the Sect, taking care of the women of the clan, or administrating the "household"?

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) it's a small part of the fic but this is covered in the later part of Dispersing Clouds

~*~

6. Hello!! Do you happen to know any fics with Lan Wangji & Jin Jixuan friendship? I just love the two awkward bois together! @lostandmessedup

mating rituals by detectorist (E, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Humour, Pining, Getting Together, Idiots in Love)

❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, wangxian, modern w magic, college/university au, fake/pretend relationship, single parent WWX, homophobia, light angst w/ happy ending, idiots to lovers, fluff)

Marks of weakness, marks of woe by Song_of_Storms (E, 48k, WangXian, WIP, College/University, Modern with Magic, Dark Academia, Rivals to Lovers, Dark LWJ, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Murder Mystery, Minor Character Death, Familiars, Fencing, Nonbinary NHS, Poison, Aftermath of Poisoning, Tagged Explicit For Later Chapters, LWJ's canonical inability to distinguish between immediate hatred and immediate attraction, furthering the LWJ/JZX/MM friendship agenda, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intrusive Thoughts)

~*~

7. fanfic recommendations with lan wangji feeling jealous? <3 @witchsik

Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

Unavoidable by diamondbruise (T, 18k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Amnesia, Jealousy, lwj just is like that idk what to tell you, Misunderstandings, Falling In Love, Again, Happy Ending, it’s that thing where they’re married but lwj can’t remember wwx and they meet again)

🔒Little fall of rain by luckymoonly (M, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, WWX didn't know he was pregnant, Mpreg, Mention of Birth, Family Feels, Nielan himbo rights, soft LQR, Misunderstandings, jealous lwj, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Smut, Breastfeeding, Thirsty Granny Wen, JGS being his usual self)

🔒Smile for Me by kuro (T, 8k, WangXian, Fluff, Jealousy, Modern AU, College/University, Bicycles, Coffee, Siblings)

Am I (Gusu Lan Cultivator, 24 M) the Asshole? by moonwaif (M, 41k, WangXian, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, modern cultivation au, Oblivious LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Jealous WWX, Misunderstandings, No actual WWX x Others, A "What If WWX Figured Out His Own Feelings First?", AU Hanguang-jun unlearns compulsory heteronormativity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia)

~*~

8. Hi! Itmf

A) Lwj and the sect that killed two people he loved dearly -mother and WY

B) lwj experiences shock that his sect actually easily goes against everything they instilled in everyone who listened (and not) and killed innocent people. And lwj can't comprehend. His turmoil.

Thank you! @best-before-end

8A)

The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, family, not lan sect friendly, canon typical violence & gore, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, mothers who live, some people live/not everyone dies)

A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, WWX & Wen Remnants, Jiang Family & WWX, WQ/MM, JYL/NHS, LXC/NMJ, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel fix-it, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 146k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP)

8B)

And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, domestic life, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending)

~*~

9. Does anybody have good fics about canon era Wei Wuxian interacting with the dead? I'm more interested in the plot/worldbuilding angle than the ship for this one. One of the things I loved about the yi city arc was how a-Qing was treated properly as a person who had lived a life before becoming the ghost that they encounter. Just Wei Wuxian as a necromancer acknowledging the humanity of his ghosts. Any recommendations are appreciated! @axemurderer1347

🔒 Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, WangXian, canon divergence, yiling wei sect au, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, fix-it of sorts)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 146k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP) (link in #8A)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Disability, Scheming NHS, Disabled Character)

let the sun go down on your anger; let it burn you to sleep by enbysaurus_rex (Not Rated, 90k, WIP, WangXian, Narcolepsy AU, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, YLLZ WWX, Oblivious WWX, Sleeping Beauty Elements, Sleeping Beauty Fusion, tags at the beginning of every chapter, Body Horror)

🔒 A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX’s questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding) Canon divergence in that WWX dies in the Burial Mounds, becomes a vampire (but is actually a god/immortal/guardian of the dead type being as it turns out at the end). There are some really great moments where we see him caring about each and every soul he helps. Some sad moments when he finds dead children, but he is very kind to them. Happy ending, not everyone who dies in canon dies, LWJ/WWX

~*~

10. For itmf I'd love wangxian fics where wwx swears brotherhood with someone and it turns out to be an amazing bond between him and his sworn bro. I wouldnt mind it being anyone but I'd love it if it was nhs. Apart from that, I'd also love recs for fics where nhs/wwx or jgy/wwx are besties and partners in crime. Thank you! @yiling-laozu-is-loml

🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

🔒 Without end by barisan (M, 69k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Suicide Attempt, Hurt/Comfort, Depressed WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm,   PTSD, Panic Attacks, Yunmeng Jiang bashing, Sentient Resentful energy, Medical inaccuracies)

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters., hurt no comfort for Jiang siblings.)

~*~

11. Hello, I wonder if there are fics where wwx is a better sect leader than lxc. Like wwx took his place for a period of time and people he leads see the difference. Thank you 😊

~*~

12. Hello, I'm reading a work "Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet" and would like to read where else someone said lxc talks too much (blabbermouth and telling secrets to other people and wtf). Any recommendations?😉

Thank you!

~*~

13. Hello i don't know how to use this app. but i need help , I'm in the mood for a fic where wangxian is in college and shares a dorm. i really like lengthy fics. please help me thankyou.

tags i prefer:

mutual pinning

pov lwj

happy ending

jealous wwx.

(i can accept anything except cheating)

Thank you again

like a saturated sunrise by moonsteps (T, 26k, WangXian, College/University, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, References to anxiety, Family Issues, Friends to Lovers, Roommates)

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, background NieLan, background QingMian, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation, Background XuanLi)

no certainty of doors between us by betts (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Roommates, Crack Treated Seriously, Drunken Confessions, Idiots in Love, dubiously consensual spooning, Enemies to Lovers, Sharing Clothes, Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, wwx's casual intimacy meets lwj's touch starvation, wwx doesn't know they're enemies, lwj doesn't know they're dating)

🔒 The Second Jade of Lan’s late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana (E, 41k, wangxian, First Time, LWJ’s Horny Grip, LWJ does not know what hit him, and yet somehow he still realizes it before WWX, canon wangxian dynamics, college AU, LWJ starts off annoyed at WWX, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)

Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Modern, JC mooning over WQ, getting wrecked sexually, WWX's single brain cell, Practice Kissing)

synesthesia by uchiuchi (T, 28k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, strangers to friends to lovers, pining)

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer)

🧡 Always Knew You Were Magical by jeyhawk (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Curse Breaking, Case Fic, Sharing a Bed, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension Masturbation, First Time, Blow Jobs, curse fic, College/University, True Love's Kiss, Attempted self harm under the influence of a curse)

living in my memory/living in my mouth by tardigradeschool (T, 32k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, College/University, Modern with Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed Nightmares, Light Angst, Epistolary, (sort of), POV Alternating, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers)

Talk Hard by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 161k, wangxian, LXC/JYL, JZX/WQ, JC/MM, Modern, College/University, Roommates/Housemates, rare pairs galore, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Separations, Getting Back Together, BAMF WWX, Drunk LWJ, Protective WWX, Good Parent YZY, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Cultivation Sect Politics, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

14. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where Lan Zhan is mean or a jerk to Wei Ying, but then he realizes he was wrong

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Teen Wangxian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, No Sunshot Campaign)

~*~

15. For the next In the Mood for… possibly any fics where LWJ dates WWX on a dare, or even where LWJ believes in an accusation leveled against WWX and leaves him? Happy ending if possible, but ending doesn’t really matter, I’ve just been super into emotionally hurt WWX. Thanks a bunch!

~*~

16. Hello!!! I'm in the mood for fics where people assume Lwj raped Wy or where people assume Wy raped Lwj (no abuse actually happened, people are just being their usual batard selves who assume the worse)

Hi, this is the same person who sent an ask requesting fics where some misunderstanding happens and people and up thinking Lwj raped Wwx or thinking Wwx raped Lwj. I forgot to add on the ask that I don't want the ones where the misunderstanding happens because Lwj was drunk and Wwx wasn't, Lwj freaks out when he wakes up thinking he took advantage of Wwx while drunk, Wwx (who didn't know Lwj was drunk) freaks out thinking Lwj regrets what happened and there goes people thinking Wwx is freaking out because Lwj abused him. Those fics are full of victim blaming towards Lwj (who was the one drunk while they had sex) both on the fic and on the comments and of everyone ignoring Lwj's pain of losing his first time while drunk and painting him as an asshole towards Wwx for freaking out when he woke up, so I don't vibe with that kind of victim blaming at all. If the fic doesn't have shit like that, then it's all good. Thanks.

🔒 Hold Truth to the Light by SoManyJacks (E, 15k, WangXian, Light Angst, Fluff, idiot plot kind of, switch!lwj, service top!wwx, Accusations of rape, False Accusations, nasty rumors, Alcohol, arranged marriage sideplot, Painful Sex, Anal Sex, POV Alternating, Light Dom/sub, Post-Canon, Based on the novel, Flip Fuck, gratuitous epilogues, uhhh also donkey)

~*~

17. heyy itmf some highschool au's! It could be a confession fic or a case fic with murder mystery as long as the characters are in highschool :))

My Care for You by flowercity (FaoriE) (T, 6k, WangXian, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, High School, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Underage Drinking )

The Fifth Type of Non-Contact Force by Caixx (Not Rated, 83k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Fluff and Humor, Actually Somewhat Canon, Mutual Pining, Horny Teenagers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Graphic Smut)

🔒Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 92k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)

🔒you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15)

Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108k, wangxian, modern, angst w/ happy ending, romance, persuasion au, separations, pining, miscommunication, depression, self-harm, reconciliation, smut) which starts out with the characters in high school

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[fangirleaconmigo]

So I’ve been a bit absent. Putting a ‘read more’ because shit in my life has gotten very real very quickly.

One of my younger sisters went to urgent care with stomach discomfort last Tuesday. It turned out that she had a huge mass in her pelvis, (18x25 cm) and our lives were plunged into a black hole of fear.

In the past week/weekend, she’s gotten blood tests and referrals for more scans. Every test result is more ominous and terrifying than the last. It is definitely ovarian cancer and she will need a major surgery and we don’t know what else.

In one day, I moved her completely into my house. She gave notice on hers. We are trying to find foster care for her cats while she is in treatment because she can’t care for them during, and neither can I.

We still haven’t had a proper prognosis and treatment plan. That will be today, I hope. I am about to drive her to her first actual appointment with a real oncologist.

It’s early and I’m lying awake in my bed. I haven’t slept much in the past weeks. I go to sleep googling ovarian cancer, and I wake up and google ovarian cancer, and I feel like an entire house is crushing me. I can barely breathe. I have to go fetal position for a few minutes sometimes during the day to get through it.

We need some hope today. We need some good news. We need, at the very minimum, a plan for her care. Something to focus on.

Please keep us in your thoughts and send us some love and good will. She is either in shock or being very brave but she could get hopeful, or devastating news today (or more terrifying limbo) and I don’t know where that will leave us.

I won’t try to tell you how much my sister means to me. But I will say that we grew up together in an isolated family with shitty, monstrous, abusive parents and it fused us together in profound ways. I raised her to the extent that a child can raise another child. (It’s like that John Mulaney joke where he said his babysitter was so young, it was like a horse caring for a dog lol)

We are both super sci-fi fantasy nerds. I watch tv with her probably three to four nights a week, and we can talk for LITERAL HOURS about the intricacies of the writing and the characters on the various franchises. We usually agree, but we probably woke the neighbors with our argument about who the best Doctor Who companion was.

We work at the same hospital and share an office one day a week, and the people in the hall probably hear our elaborate Star Wars or MCU theories.

I know better than to get her started about certain things, but no matter what I do, every Thanksgiving she gives an entire speech about how the LOTR movie adaptations failed Gimli, son of Gloin.

We’ve been to Supernatural cons (we’ve both written SPN fic), and SDCC together many times. Actually, we went to ECCC together this year, so @spacecores and @roguepyrola met her and can attest to the fact that she is a mouthy, down to earth, absolutely brilliant, funny, foul mouthed, nerdy ass bitch.

I NEED HER, ok, I FUCKIN NEED HER.

So if you meditate, pray, send intentions, I don’t care what it is, I need it today. Her appointment is in about three hours and we need some hope.

Thanks for reading, friends. ♥️ I know this isn’t fandom related but we’re all real life human beings here with real lives, and that’s what is happening in mine.

[jksnrabbit]

Hi, I have several questions about Johnny B Close/Jonathan Foster, don’t feel like you have to respond any of to them.

What type of person did Johnny become post trial? Like Nick became Narcolas because of how much he looked up to his father, in both timelines so how did being raised by Jodie affect him?

When Jodie became a demon did Johnathan embrace it like Nicky did and also did he get his memories back like Nicky did?

What was Johnny doing during the Watermice saga into the battle of the bands? and did he go into that fighting ring in the bull e. wugs with Nick?

and lastly thank you for making this guy I also refuse to believe all the doodlers (other than lark and sparrow) are only children.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS I LOVE YOU ANON

sorry if the responses are too long i <3 rambling about johnny

ALSO YEAH . NO WAY BETWEEN 4 DADS THEY EACH ONLY HAVE ONE KID (again, minus the oaks, but theyre twins thats like the same kid twice). and like i know that henry was originally going to have a daughter, but theyre cowards for not going thru with it

everything answered under the cut :]

1) post trial, johnny becomes johnathan d. foster [the d for dee, jodie's mom]. instead of johnny's black denim jacket, he's got a brown corduroy one, plus a polo shirt, no hoodie. and timbs instead of combat boots lmao

in the original timeline, johnny loses morgan and has since then become very protective over nick and overall very anxious. since johnathan still has morgan, he's much more lax and honestly, a bit more distant towards nicholas, like in the sense of an older sibling not wanting to hang out with a younger sibling. [as a youngest sibling i 100% get nicholas getting way too attatched to a parent as a result]

in relation to jodie, he's pretty much just a cop's son. which is to say, a stick in the mud, but not to the degree of tattletailing 'um actually 🤓' that nicholas is.

he's less of a bassist and more of a pianist in this timeline, and has the free time that johnny doesnt to take up hobbies like photography or pottery [if johnny had the time and resources i think he'd love photography]

i have a scene in my head about when glenn is threatening jodie during the meth bay prison riots, that part where he pins him to a wall; johnathan would be the kind of guy to tackle glenn from behind to get him off his dad then IMMEDIATELY cry for help upon realizing he cant fight a 50 yr old prisoner

2) yes, he also got his memories of being johnny back when he becomes a demon. nicky embraces being a demon much quicker than he does, but he gets there eventually.

im still debating on this in my own mind, but the scene where nicky stops jodie and glenn from fighting; john would be right there beside him, but i think they would split ways. nicky goes to hell with jodie, but i think the part of johnny that resides in john still hurts for glenn, and recognizes the pattern of destruction he would inevitably fall into, so he'd stay with glenn. of course, he has no idea how to interact with him as johnathan hated him, but he tries.

i think he would be numb when glenn dies. too many emotions, too similar to when morgan died, yet he doesnt see him as his own father, yet he does- its too much for him so he just mentally clocks out for a hot minute i think

he'd also have a very strained relationship with nick jr. how do you cope with your ex dad having a rat named after your brother.

3) ok funnily enough, i think johnny was the opening act before the red brands and the watermice battle, but not as a band. i think he was thrown up there to stall for time as henry, ron, and darryl seduced the rival band, and he ended up doing bad stand-up. think john mulaney's salt and pepper diner story, but from someone with no experience in public speaking. he basically just retells a story of him and nick goofin around. he recieves very stilted applause.

at bull e. wugs, glenn definitely pitches the idea of putting him in the ring as he has an 8 yr advantage on them, but he fervently denies as he doesnt want to fight a kid. that is to say, he is a Close Boy at heart, so instead he goes around the restaurant, swaying the people's bets, ensuring the maximum amount of winnings for him, glenn, and nick in the end

of course this is all to say - i'm not the best at character writing and cant write fanfic for shit, but i do love johnny, so anyone feel free to ask me more about him [+ my other dndads ocs that i need to draw😭😭]

[transgenderer]

i was talking with my friends yesterday about my love for blood sacrifice in religion and i think its because i was raised catholic so i was hearing about blood all the time in church and we NVER GOT ANY BLOOOD! the wine isnt even salty... anyway. i was like oh thats so relatable, john mulaney talked about that in his comedy special. so i googled "the blood of blood is blood" and i was really annoyed when i cant find anyting, found the clip, hes actually talking about bread!! theres a lot of bread but you cant tlak about being raised cahtolic without talking about the blood...

[zmediaoutlet]

🍄 and 🏜️ and maybe 🐚? (wth is that even... a conch?)

(i think it is a conch but honestly it could be a megaphone. why are the emojis so SMALL)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Dean would be unlikely to do it, but I think he has the patience to be a baker, and Sam does not. Sam would get offended by the way that yeast can react differently every time and be like IT SAID TO RISE FOR AN HOUR AND IT'S BEEN AN HOUR, WHY DIDN'T IT WORK. Sam is very patient and precise but he doesn't have the particular kind of obsessive energy that's required; in contrast Dean -- if he gets suckered into something -- treats it with wackjob fandomite energy. I heard someone else described recently as "she's either never heard of it, or she was at the convention," and that's how Dean is about like. All things, lol. So I can see him getting super into his sourdough starter and rolling with mistakes and learning how to form dece rolls and getting all invested in making the Perfect Loaf. And then watching Sam bite into a slice slathered with butter and making that Sam Eating Dean's Cooking face, and feeling all smug and delighted. He's a homemaker at heart. :)

🏜️ ⇢ what’s your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Literally anything substantive. Honestly, that's it. I know that the people who leave like emoji hearts or whatever mean well, but my actual heart sinks every time I open an AO3 email and that's all it is. And whoever invented that 'you have already left kudos here ;)' meme can stub their toe once a week for a year, honestly. I know that makes me sound ungrateful and I truly appreciate that anyone would even take the time to open up the comment box at ALL, given how rare the behavior is, but... We do this because we want connection, sending creative work one way and hoping there will be some kind of reaction coming back the other, and when it's been hours and weeks and sometimes years of sweaty effort on this side, being met with "❤️" in return is just. Miserable, lol. (I guess it's less miserable than nothing at all.) But any time -- ANY time -- a reader mentions something specific they liked, or asks a question, or proves that they thought about the piece for longer than a second, it is a jolt of loving adrenaline straight to the withered heart and it makes it all worth.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I like them! I guess it depends, haha. e.g. "hey we're all going to dinner, do you want to come? it's in an hour!" is the kind of surprise that makes me want to die. I'm very John Mulaney about plans. But given this is a creation-fandom-etc set of asks I'm trying to think about fandom-related surprises... A surprise gift? Always good. A surprise mention? Always a shock! A surprise sequel to a complete work? ...Could go either way, lol.

[pop-punklouis]

okay i know taylor swift's album has been out for a hot min but im revisiting it again and im still stuck on how unrelatable it is and thats why i think it misses the mark for so many people me included. it sucks because i love her and ive always been able to find myself/my circustamces in her lyrics and i cannot do that now. it kinda started with midnights too i noticed.

yeah, when the record first came out, i had a couple conversations about that with people on here. i find it fascinating as a topic, because its one i would love to see indulged in more as a think-piece. how swift's meteoric rise since folklore (which wasn't heavily autobiographical) somehow led to a meteoric rise in her lyricism becoming less collectively personal and more.... individually personal (if that makes sense?). and i would assume her insane taylor's version roll out schedule where she's been consistently revisiting eras and albums from her past work for the last four years has played into the fraying of that lyricism as well.

i dunno, i was watching an interview with a comedian not too long ago (it might've been john mulaney iiirc) where they were discussing how difficult it becomes as comedian's get older to stay relevant and relatable. and he was stating how comedian's and artists (in general) tend to go back and regurgitate or pull from old jokes/content without even being acutely aware of it because of the scene they sort of get caught up in. and the cannibalizing certain artists do to themselves when they rely on an autobiographical branding is rough because it ends up with the audience being like: "you guys used to sing about my life and now you just sing about your own life" and that kinda feels like where taylor is right now.

her newer songs feed a certain, specific part of her life like a diary which is fine because i know its a catharsis for her to get a lot of this out, but in the same vein it hinders a lot of what made a lot of people gravitate to her in the first place. when you listen to her new projects it is difficult to not immediately think about joe alwyn or matty healy or even travis kelce because of specific references and observations. its harder to separate the art from her personal life, and i believe that's where we see a big disconnect with this album for some.

[storm-leviosa-fanfics]

Fic Rec List

Third time's the charm, or so they say. Here's another fic rec list.

When in gotham: don't drink the water by @wesslan

This is pretty much crack but in the absolute best way. Gotham's tap water causes some...weird side effects when consumed by humans except no one told Tim that. He's doing his best ok?

My Eyes Are Fitted With Prison Bars (series) by TheFloof (@floof-writes)

neurodivergent yj! love this so much the vibes are impeccable. Tim and Bart have a super sweet relationship here, sharing all those nd traits and I just have loads of feelings.

Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans by Lilac_hyacinth

soft TimBer for the soul! Tim's alone at another school event and Bernard is a good comforting boyfriend (except they're not boyfriends yet shhhh). feat. good dad Bruce, Dana trying very hard, Tim being a photographer, all that good stuff.

Got Stepped on All Over by whaleofatime (@cetaceans-pls)

I have this fic saved as 'fics I would make fanart of if I could draw' and I am Right. It has all my favourite things but most importantly HORSES. Also just like...restores my faith in humanity a little it feels very real in a way I cannot quite explain. (Bruce and Dick race across Mongolia to stop an epidemic which suprisingly does not remind me of covid)

library card by mikkal (@wrencatte)

God I am obsessed with this fic. Libraries deserve all the appreciation and this fic has it in spades. I loved outsider POV fics sometimes and this is a perfect example of a really really good one. If you love Jason loving books and public libraries this fic is for you.

Consultation Work by Mouse_in_this_house

Feral core four, Jason trying his best, Tim being Tim, there is nothing I do not love about this fic. Really good at identifying the strengths and weaknesses of everyone based on their experiences and personalities which I Love.

An (almost) Foolproof Lie by HiddenDreamer67 (@hiddendreamer67)

Secret identity shenanigans + Tim joins the family early = god tier fic

(Tim, in a fit of youthful idiocy, tells Batman Bruce Wayne is his guardian. It all works out...eventually)

Declensions by dustorange (@dustorange)

You know when you think you know a character's origin story and it doesn't need to be told again? Yeah so I would trust dustorange with every character's done to death origin story after reading this. It's Dick Grayson like you've never seen it before and I love it.

miles and miles (in their shoes) by JUBE514 (@jube514)

Sometimes you need a bit of a shove to overcome your differences and Tim and Damian need even more than that. These kids are SO FUCKED UP but this fic is so sensitive about it and it's beautiful.

Black-Clad Bats and Making Money by Gray_Days (@cineresis)

That one fic about the Riddler if he were played by John Mulaney. I'm not normally a first person POV kinda person but this is the exception it is hilarious and also somehow relatable? idk what that says about me.

[strideofpride]

anything you’ve been watching/reading lately that you’d recommend? i think you have stellar taste in media (aka it often matches mine lol) so am curious! hope you feel better soon 💖

Ummmm yes, love this ask!!! (Also I’m so flattered 🥰 you have great taste as well btw)

Books:

Mo Ryan’s Burn It Down! If you’re at all interested in the entertainment industry and how it all gets made, this is basically required reading

the Succession script books (pricey but personally worth it)

I just finished Jill Gutowitz’s Girls Can Kiss Now and felt very seen, a wee bit too relatable

And I’m currently also reading Ann Patchett’s This is the Story of a Happy Marriage, which is a great book for my fellow writers to read

Substack:

I’m a paid subscriber to Hunter Harris’ Hung Up newsletter and I’ve never once regretted it lol

Gotta shout out Dracula Daily as well as the one podcast I listen to rn, re: Dracula (I listen and read at the same time which is perfect for me lol)

Gilmore Women - a Gilmore Girls recap newsletter that talks about everything wrong with each episode lol. I sped through the first six seasons and now I’m depressed that I’m caught up lol

TV:

Minx s2 - it is on Starz which I know most people don’t have but this season has been EXCELLENT

Only Murders in the Building s3 - it’s like a comfort show for me at this point, despite being about murder it makes me feel so cozy. Nora Ephron vibes

The Bear s2 - everyone’s been talking about it already but I just finished and god it was GOOD

The Sopranos - everyone should be doing # Sopranos Sunday with me!!! It’s so fun!! This show is soooo good, really living up to the hype for me

Acapulco - really cute show, makes me wish I was still on vacation in Mexico

Poker Face - bring back standalone episodes like this!!! Bring back character actors doing incredible guest star roles!!!

The Other Two - just. It was the funniest show on TV. It really was. 30 Rock’s spiritual successor which is pretty much the highest praise I can give it

Movies:

Red Eye - I rewatched it after Oppenheimer and it really holds up. Fun, tight thriller that is only like an hour 20 lol. Also Brian Cox aka Logan Roy is in it (and Jayma Mays my beloved)

Theater Camp - as a Jewish theater kid who went to and/or worked at a summer camp every year of her life from ages 4-20, there was no way I wasn’t gonna like this

Mamma Mia series - obviously everyone on tumblr knows about these already but I made my family watch them with me for the Fourth of July and god if I could live in the world of any movie it’d be this one ❤️

Man Up - very cute & fun British rom com I first discovered in college and rewatched this summer. Everyone has incredible comedic chemistry in this, and Lake Bell & Simon Pegg have great sexual chemistry as well (quite a lot of British faces who were nobodies when this was made who’ve gone on to bigger things - most notably Phoebe Waller-Bridge who’s only in a single scene)

X-Men: First Class - my favorite superhero movie ❤️

Indiana Jones series - I rewatched the whole series and saw the new one in theaters this summer. The first and third are literal masterpieces. Second one is mean spirited and racist. Fourth actually has quite a bit of charm, but then it fell apart in the back half. The new one…woof. Nobody but Steven Spielberg should be allowed to direct Indy movies.

Asteroid City - the longer it’s been since I saw it, the more and more I think it might be Wes’ masterpiece

Past Lives - incredible. But I know you already know that one lol

Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret - perfect, perfect film.

The Other Guys - we need Adam McKay and Will Ferrell to get back together, the fate of studio comedies hangs on this (anyway this movie is hilarious - but also if hell is real Marky Mark is obviously gonna burn for all eternity)

Comedy:

John Mulaney: Baby J - I saw him do this special live when he was touring it and I’m mad he cut the FBI bit but he’s still got it

[thespacewolfseries]

At long last, I can finally achieve my vision:

I’ve had quite a lot fun the past few weeks figuring out the proficiency of this new tablet, to see just how much I could do with it. So, what better way than to debut the gallery of intergalactic misfits part of my convoluted, multi-year, secret story project (one of many) known as Space Wolf!

What is it about?

In the year 2225, An interstellar motley crew have adventures across the galaxy while a cosmic plot brews under the surface. They deal with their collective pasts and their roles as fugitives, outcasts, and monsters. Basically they each have some trauma relating to their lives on their homeworlds, either being hunted down by said governments, being rejected by their society, or being outright refugees. 

They face off with bounty hunters, assassins, galactic governments, market dealers, space monsters, the IRS, etc. It’s creatively titled “Space Wolf” because 1) that’s all I could come up with, for the same reason that Star Wars is also dumb name but still works. and 2) they are essentially like a pack being lead by the “Space Wolf,” Captain Cade Thasar, an alien werewolf man.

Characters/Protagonists: In the simplest description possible, they consist of:

Cade Thasar- a werewolf space captain, Audrey Heilman- a former secret-service agent now fugitive from the United States government, Tullusk “Tully” Brabanbras- a cyborg orc warrior, Taisa Andros- an alien witch and excellent chef, Norman Kane- Space Academy dropout, Rob Mauka- Delinquent teenage elf soft boy, and PP-1N “Pippin”- John Mulaney robot

I’ll eventually break these characters down into individual posts so you can learn more about them, and there will be more characters to talk about, but until then, I hope you guys like the concept and maybe stick around to hear more about it? Maybe? It’s been festering in my brain for…. years…. many years… 🙃

Also please check out the main Space Wolf side blog for all of my past posts and future updates!

Bonus: here’s a police line up in detail ⬇️

[metatextuality]

first lines meme

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to, and see if there are any patterns!

tagged by @whetstonefires!

(Last ten published works, huh? That does rather narrow it down...)

1. The Man Who Would Not Stop for Death – a short, pulpy original noir scene for The Merry Whump of May.

The problem with discovering your payday is committing felonies — apart from the fact that they're committing felonies at all, of course — is that your odds of getting paid take a sharp downturn.

2. The Man and the Moon – a longform noir serial in which the same protagonist finds himself attempting to apply hardboiled rationalism to cosmic horrors from beyond the stars.

Chicago is an improvement over Hoboken, which should paint a sufficiently damning picture of both cities.

3. To Serve Satan: Miss deManners' Guide to the Heavenly Host – a Good Omens short about Crowley's methods that came to me fully-formed in a dream, so I'm not sure I should be counting it, but it did probably come from my brain technically so what the hell.

"Would either of you like something off the dessert trolley, sirs?"

For once, it was Crowley who looked up with such sudden diamond-bright joy that it cut.

4. But Be the Serpent Under ’t – an AU of my own pirate noncon epic in which Captain Crowley possesses one of his captors.

When Crowley finally died, it came almost as an anticlimax.

5. The Seas Incarnadine – the aforementioned epic pirate noncon fic, which I stg I am going to finish one of these days. (This sentiment also applies to every other unfinished fic on this list.)

This whole piracy lark had, in retrospect, gone a bit further than intended.

6. Conversant With Terrible Objects – DC mirrorverse character study of Owlman in the form of filthy, filthy phone sex with Superwoman.

The Crime Syndicate believed that Owlman loved Gotham City, when they credited him with the ability to love at all.

7. Black-Clad Bats and Making Money – the one where John Mulaney becomes the Riddler™

You may recognise me as the man who programmed — because that’s what being a game programmer gets you, instant celebrity, like Shigeru Miyamoto and the guy who invented Tetris — you may recognise me as Edward Nigma, the man who programmed Labyrinth of the Minotaur, a bestselling game whose apparent claim to fame is that it is unwinnable.

8. Crowskin – the one where Owlman catches an Australian magpie like a fuckin' baseball.

“What,” uttered Johnny Quick, “the fuck.”

9. Those Who Fight Monsters – a casefic wherein the mirror-universe Riddler deals with the moral dilemma of rescuing Owlman's favorite child assassin.

You would think, thought Edward Nigma, crouching behind the wall of shipping containers he’d scaled partway up for a better vantage point, that criminals would find somewhere else to conduct their business.

10. King's Gambit – DC mirrorverse fic where Lex Luthor and Sinestro discuss rationalism and then kiss (and then try to reverse-engineer God so they can use him as a nuke)

“Good news,” said Sinestro as he pulled away. “You’ll probably keep the eye.”

So the first thing I notice is that I like to open with an immediate, snappy Establishing Character Moment, usually in a close POV. That's probably related to the fact that my usual catalyst for writing down a scene I've been building up in my head is finding an opening hook that I like too much not to use, and which leads naturally into my mind expanding on it for another few paragraphs whether I want it to or not; also to the fact that most of my fic is character-centric, and almost always written in a POV limited to the inside of the viewpoint character's head even when it's in third person.

Something I wasn't expecting from this selection of opening lines – and possibly this is a pattern that would be broken if I included some of my many, many unpublished WIPs – is how many of these take a tongue-in-cheek jab at a significant aspect of the story itself. I don't think it's a matter of being convinced of my own metafictional cleverness, nor of being unconfident in my premise and seeking to lampshade it before the reader gets a chance to notice the cracks themselves...more that my favorite characters tend to be those that overthink everything, in part because I find it a relatable trait. Hmm.

Let's pull in a few of my closest-to-publishable WIP openings, for the hell of it:

My mother, may G-d bless her because he certainly hasn't given her much to work with so far, named me Sidney Solomon Jacobi.

--

"Y'know Sandra Nylund?" I ask, winding my way through the bullpen to my desk, where I navigate the organised chaos of notes and reports until I find the file I'm looking for.

--

The new navigator arrived on the HMS Essex's eighth day in port.

--

The thing about alcoholism was that it was perfectly socially acceptable to drink yourself to death.

--

The second time someone called him, she had Owlman tied to the bed.

Okay, yeah, I'm figuring that pattern's probably just a weird coincidence. Interesting that it worked out that way, though.

Tagging off the top of my head: @punishandenslavesuckers @anneapocalypse @weird-mcgee – and anyone else who sees this, consider yourself tagged as well!

[harrytheehottie]

I get soooo hung up on the John Mulaney situation because I can’t imagine the type of emotions I’d feel being married to someone for years, supported them through their addictions, and it’s agreed between the both of us that we don’t want kids only for my husband to then cheat, and immediately have a baby, and say how happy he is to be a father. So many open WHAT IF’s and wasted time especially because Annamarie is in her later 30s and it’s like “well maybe I could have seen myself having kids…with someone else. maybe that could have been an option for me.”

Exactly. And I think it’s a story so many women can relate to. We literally give up so much of our lives for the men in our lives and as soon as they find a shinier prettier object they leave and everyone applauds them because they’re “happy”

[euelios]

the way i say “(oh) brother” now instead of just shouting swear words

so weird to be—on the other end of “should i apologize?” usually i’m sitting here hoping for an apology or at least yk. “are you ok”

(i’m always ok. nothing is ever that bad or that real. it’s all drama)

i told my mom off about (inadvertently) making me feel like an incompetent shit every time i discussed moving out, like i wasn’t uncertain enough on my own. and she just went “that’s not what i meant and you know it” and like

jesus. no i know that. trust me i know. but that’s what happened. like that hurt then and it hurts now and i want you to take note of it for later when we have this conversation again

“why didn’t you just say what you meant why did you go on and on” uhh bc i didn’t know what the issue was and i was trying to work it out? because YOU go on and on and i don’t try to cut you off?? and also it’s not the moving that’s the issue it’s how you kind of keep reminding me of how bad i am at things???

(please just believe in me, and SAY so. you aren’t too harsh on me anymore but i don’t think i ever left that weird little kid behind. i didn’t always want to Be Better. i just wanted to be okay.)

and i could see her getting upset. by something i did. like that’s never happened before. me being the one upsetting her instead of the other way around. no one cried this time thank god. i’m the crier and it always makes her angry but this time she started getting defensive and i started getting angry and like—we’re just turning into each other

(not really. i don’t think i ever learned to defend myself against anyone. easier to just be wrong. john mulaney vc you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologize to you)

but i could kind of see it. the connections. i’ve long since lost the whole “and my parents know everything” sheen but like on her end: yeah dude. i’m 21 years old. i’ll tell you lots but not everything. i’m absolutely going to get mad at you if you make me uncomfortable. you might not have ever had reason to think about how you get angry but boy howdy did i learn from the best—

(we talked about this one night. did i plan on kids? i’ll have them or i won’t, but only if i’m dead certain i’ll be a good parent. “i don’t think there’s a parent in the world who doesn’t love their kid,” she says and i feel charitable so i agree. but there are just too many ways to love someone wrong.)

this is kind of like, the parallel of those “would you be friends with your siblings if you weren’t siblings” “oh your parents are human too” like. no we wouldn’t be friends so i guess it’s good that we’re related. i love you and you make me so angry, and i’ll never have the guts to tell you how much of either.

(apparently none of my mom’s side ever got mad at their parents growing up. she says this like she’s proud of it but none of them speak to their parents now either. in that light i think i’ll call whatever we’ve got going on progress.)

[forgottenbytimerp]

Looking for someone who could pass as being related (parent, sibling, etc.) to a character can be difficult. If you're finding yourself stuck, try taking a look at some of the below celebrity pairs who share similar facial structure, eye placement, etc. and could pass as being related. 

This will be added to as more suggestions are made and will include a number of celebrities of all different genders, ethnicities, etc. Please feel free to make suggestions to be added to this list.

Kristen Stewart and Alicia Silverstone

Jaime Pressly, Samara Weaving, and Margot Robbie

Sarah Hyland and Mila Kunis

Keira Knightley, Winona Ryder, and Natalie Portman

Will Ferrell and Chad Smith

Eva Mendes and Ashley Graham

Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry

Blac Chyna and Nicki Minaj

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Robert Downey Jr, and Javier Bardem

Keanu Reeves and Chris Klein

Tom Felton and Aaron Paul

Toby Maguire, Elijah Wood, and Daniel Radcliffe

Ed Sheeran and Rupert Grint

Sara Bareilles and Chelsea Peretti

Bill Skarsgard and Steve Buscemi

Orlando Bloom and Luke Evans

Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester

Henry Cavill and Matt Bomer

Tom Hardy and Logan Marshall-Green

Zachary Quinto and Eli Roth

Will Arnett and Patrick Wilson

Courtney Cox Arquette and Jared Leto

Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds

Amy Adams and Isla Fisher

Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes

Nathan Fillion and Jeremy Renner

Jennifer Connelly and Demi Moore

Zoe Saldaña and Thandie Newton

John Mulaney and Grant Gustin

Paul Reubens and Alan Cumming

Jordin Sparks and America Ferrera

Lucy Hale and Selena Gomez

Zach Braff and Dax Shepard

Jeff Bridges and Kurt Russell

Emily Kinney and Evanna Lynch

Disclaimer: some celebrities do not match exactly on skin tone but still have similar facial structure. They have been included regardless as they may be useful for half siblings or parents/children in a mixed-race family.

[golden--doodler]

Currently still working on my newest Bob's Burgers comic (because Gene deserves love too! Okay, yes, he had Courtney, but still). Here's everything you need to know about my newest OC, AKA random facts no one asked for but I'm giving anyway:

--First off, he's kind of an amalgamation of several old OCs I made but never ended up using.

--Their full name is Alexis Emiliano Franklin-De La Vega. His super long name comes from the fact he's Guatemalan and his adopted parents have two different last names (he was born in Guatemala but then brought to the US and adopted when he was a baby).

--He's Nonbinary AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) and uses He/They pronouns. He might change it to They/He once they're older, but I'm not entirely sure yet. They're also Androsexual. However, they always tell people they're Gay, because that label is usually easier for people to understand.

--Loves theater, making outfits (thrifting is so important to them), and all things flamboyant. They even have a small hobby of glassblowing, something they particularly love doing when they're stressed. This is why Gene loves them.

--Their favorite color is yellow (that color remind you of anyone? 👀), and their favorite book of all time is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They were so obsessed with it when they were young, they wanted to be Charlie so bad and meet Willy Wonka.

--He was born without a right foot and has a prosthetic so he can still walk. He was also born with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, meaning their joints are pretty loose, and they can't move and run around as fast or as much as other kids.

--They're actually an excellent baker, something they don't often bring up, because he's afraid of being judged for this hobby. However, when he does bake, he bakes the best chocolate chip cookies. They've also tried their hand at making Beignets in the past. This causes Bob to immediately take a liking to Alexis. They consider baking an art form.

--They have Perfect Pitch, something Gene is pretty jealous of, but also greatly admires.

--They're a Night Owl, and can't go to sleep any earlier than midnight. It's kind of a problem when he has school the next day, but on the weekends, he can just sleep in.

--Loves drawing and character designing, and so far has only shown his drawings to Gene, who loves his art. Sometimes, on the cover of the night, he likes to sneak out and paint gorgeous murals in certain places.

--Not great at picking up other languages, but has a knack for picking up specific accents. He can imitate things like an Irish or Cockney accent so perfectly it's almost scary. This serves him well in theater.

--In secret, he also loves watching Stand-Up Comedians (like John Mulaney or Ali Wong) and thinks they're great. He also loves watching sitcoms, even if the writing is terrible. He just loves anything that can make him laugh.

--Their adopted parents aren't supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, so once he realizes he has a crush on Gene, he has to keep it a secret from them. Their parents also don't know they're Non-Binary.

--Loves collecting vintage vinyl records, especially of things from the Jazz or Blues Age. They just love studying certain things related to vintage times, such as music, but also the fashion people had in the past.

--Has a crippling fear of heights because of an incident when he was young. He was at a state fair with his parents, and they got on the Ferris Wheel. It got stuck, and they had to stay there for hours until it started working again.

--Is a Vegetarian and has a low spice tolerance.

--Has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor which can put most people off, but Gene loves it. He says Alexis' sense of humor/general demeanor reminds him of Louise.

--Carries a stone in his pocket for good luck, especially before a theater performance, a habit he picked up from his adopted grandmother. He swears it's actually helped him in the past.

--Eventually bonds with Bob not only for their shared hobby of cooking/baking but also for loving rock and roll. Their general love for music and theater allows them to eventually bond with Linda.

--Has a job at Jimmy Pesto's (doesn't let Bob know because they know he would freak out), but hates working there. Also, their working there isn't exactly legal because of how young he is (their parents know Jimmy Pesto, so that's why he got hired in the first place). They only work there to earn some money, which his family definitely needs. They burned their hand working there once, and he doesn't even cook or go into the kitchen that often. It left a permanent scar on his hand.

--Wears black, rectangular glasses and is nearsighted and has an astigmatism.

--Enjoys Science Fiction, ET being one of his favorite movies (mainly because of how amazing the design of the puppet for ET is), but thinks the concept of aliens is pretty unnerving.

Finally, here's a little drawing of them, a sneak peek from a panel of the comic:

[un-fixed--stars]

a while ago, i came across a post that featured, among other things, snippets from an interview with john mulaney. it talked about when he was young he "knew how to be cute" and how (paraphrasing) being funny made him feel liked and like people wanted him around. the whole post was vaguely related to that sort of concept.

would anyone be able to direct me to that interview or post? it would be much appreciated.

thanks!