#john and jeagar type shit

[lenorethequietbookkeeper]

"John and Jeagar type shit" please more "not gay" content of them

Ok (credit to @picsthatmakeyougohmm )

[lenorethequietbookkeeper]

(Screencapping the og post cause it's pretty long)

Ok so this is something I've wanted to do with my own old fucks, but I didn't know exactly how I wanted of go about doing it!!! Until my mate @prettyputrified sent in the ask that gave me an idea; polyvores!! So anyway, I made some more "What's in [x character]'s bag" type posts as a response to this!

(Shout-out to @/cuuno for the og concept btw! Png credit will be in reblogs)

(Read tws in tags before proceeding)

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Sylvain's Bag

Work Bag: The plain black bag Sylvain takes with him when he goes on jobs. It contains only what he needs, which are usually no more than his weapon of choice and his collection of burner phones. Oh, and a pack of cigarettes. Murder is pretty stressful after all.

Casual Bag: Sylvain's own personal purse and wallet. Despite his rough and violent demeanor, he loves self expression and indulging in the emo/pastel goth aesthetic.

- Pocket 1: Self defense pocket. The streets of Pythonel are a dangerous place, so Sylvain makes sure not to leave the house without a gun and/or knife. The weed is purely for sale by the way, not edglord enough I guess.

- Pocket 2: Self care pocket. Contains his own personal phone, which he decorates in cool stickers he finds while out and about. Also makeup and protection, in case he wants to doll up for someone he fancies.

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Aldin's Bag

Shopping Bag: Aldin just uses the same plastic shopping bag he got ten years ago to carry everything. Usually has empty cans and drug garbage in there with everything else. Phone is busted to hell, but you know Aldin's broke ass can't replace it. Get your shit together man what is this???

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Jeagar's Bag

Bag: Ann made it (and basically all his clothes) for him. She tries to include stuff she knows Jeagar likes on it. He never says it aloud, but his old ass appreciates it. Always has bugs inside it that he finds in dire circumstances.

- Pocket 1: Used to store weapons and cigarettes. Usually alternates between his collection of fancy weaponry when he goes out. Matchboxes are from Ann's thrift shopping. Never buys any of his cigarettes, instead he digs up used ones from the dump.

- Pocket 2: Leisure pocket. Contains whatever books he's reading at the moment. Carries around his favorite songs on cassette tapes because the radio people have bad taste. Phone is an old ass brick phone he's had for the last 20 years. How does that thing still work??

- Pocket 3: Emergency pocket. Always has at least one Molotov cocktail in his bag. Just in case.

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John's Bag

Backpack: Simple brown backpack John brings when he goes on trips. Has his keys and pins that he finds funny. Tomagachi is a gift from Ferris for when he's stressed out.

- Front Pocket: Sketch pocket. Has all his little sketchbooks and pencils for when he's bored. Also draws on pieces of loose paper like receipts and used envelopes.

- Inside (smaller part): Comfort pocket. Has porn and alcohol in it all the time, always. Keeps more hardcore drugs in a vintage tin case. Please don't ask about the wedding ring.

- Inside (larger part): All the random shit he's stolen. Purely does it to satiate his "tendencies", as he calls it. Usually takes valuables or vintage items, but will nab literally anything if need be.

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Charles' Bag

Backpack: Old backpack Charles covered in cool stickers and patches. Loves creepy stuff and clutter, which shows in how he decorates most of his belongings. Negative space who?

- Front Pocket: Fun shit pocket. Ready access to drugs, money, music, and most importantly, video games. Phone is some dinky bullshit covered in stickers. Actually has to replace it semi-regularly due to being a temperamental little bitch that destroys shit.

- Main Pocket: "Important" storage pocket. Where he puts his bong when he goes out to a buddy's. Pretty much always has a shitload of random snacks. Always contains at least two guns no matter what.

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Ferris' Bag

Handbag: Bag Ferris stole from a thrift store and covered in patches and pins. Decorates the same way Charles does, but has more vintage and kidcore-esc tastes. Oh and also sexy ladies.

- Pocket 1: Storage pocket. Always has drugs on him, either to sell or use. Keeps his wallet in there for business purposes. Mainly has weed, but will also carry other stuff too.

- Pocket 2: Fun pocket. Books and video games for when he's bored. A rough draft of whatever gross fic he's working on in case inspiration strikes him. Weapons used to make potential inspo. A camera to capture said inspo. Phone is nothing special, just a sticker-covered little flip phone he actually takes decent care of.

- Lunchbox: Usually carries this along with his bag. Keeps the bigger snacks and drinks he can't stick in his bag. Organization is important after all!

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Daniel's Bag

Handbag: Alternates between one of his many vintage-looking, designer handbags. Loves excessive gold and jewels in his accessories. Minimalism is so overrated. Daniel's cutesy pink and white flip phone is hardly anything special on the surface. Gets a bit strange when you realize it's the only bit of modern tech in Goldberg. Weird...

- Help Pocket: :)

[lenorethequietbookkeeper]

Current territory diplomacy aside, if everything worked out well what crackships could you see working?

I have sp much other shit to write but fuck it this is too good kdndkdndkd /pos

Also sorry for alternate timeline shenanigans, I ended up getting a bunch of different ideas dkdndkdjsj

*- Would only happen in another timeline

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Ferris and John- Pretty much the only holder/holder ship that would actually work. They genuinely enjoy being together and have no intent on trying to change the other. They'd both be protective of one another, but would acknowledge they have their own lives. They're also both giant art nerds who'd give honest but extremely loving critiques of each other's work.

TLDR: Horrible dorks being dorks together

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*Marietta and John- Could only happen in a timeline where the two met each other right after dying and John stayed off Jeagar's radar after coming back. They'd probably find familiarity in each other since they come from sorta similar backgrounds and seek to have the same things. Likely live like an ideal wife and husband from the 50s would. Eagerly support each other's interests and hobbies, no matter how murderous deranged or kinky strange they may be.

TLDR- A 50s sitcom meets a 70s slasher film

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*Daniel and Jeagar- Very weird one ik, lemme explain. This one wouldn't be a relationship in the regular sense since Daniel's ace and Jeagar's aro. BUT I feel in a timeline where they met in the right circumstances and weren't afraid that the other was plotting to kill them, they'd realize they had a disturbing amount in common (namely that humans can't be trusted to manage themselves). Not only that, but I feel they could actually bring out more positive attributes in each other?? Like, Daniel could help Jeagar be more vulnerable, and Jeagar could help Daniel learn to take more things seriously.

TLDR: Platonic dictator power couple that would fuck everything up for everyone else

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(Kinda *) Janice and Jeagar- This was one I actually considered making canon for a bit as a future arc kinda thing. I ultimately scrapped it cause I came up with a different ship for Janice (won't say with who cause spoilers), but this one could still kinda work! I imagine it would only happen in a scenario where Jeagar loses everything and has nowhere to go. Janice is obviously weary of the bad shit he's done, but desires to give him a job on the farm so she can at least keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't set out to do more bad shit. They butt heads a lot because they're both leader types, but when they get to talking, they realize they could learn a thing or two from each other (Jeagar learns to be less of an arrogant ass, and Janice learns to be a bit more assertive).

TLDR: Basically the plot of Sacha Baron Cohen's 'The Dictator'

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*Charles and Sylvain- Probably an enemies turned lover's kinda deal. Would only happen in a timeline where they both essentially abandon their old lives to get away from overly controlling forces (for Charles it's Jeagar, for Sylvain it's...well, I'll talk about that another day). They end up doing crime to get by and bump into each other sometimes. End up becoming rivals and trying to one up each other with their bank heists before realizing they can make bigger bank by working together.

TLDR: Gay Bonnie and Clyde

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Sylvain and Ferris- Whores being whores basically. They'd probably fuck around for a bit before learning they like making people suffer and bonding around that basically. They'd probably fight about dumb stuff a lot before resorting to hate fucking to deal with their problems. Wouldn't exactly be healthy for either party, but they're both at least assertive enough to keep the other in check.

TLDR: Still a better love story than Twilight

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(Kinda *) Sandy and Dollia- Would prob only happen in a timeline where Janice found Dollia instead of Marietta. Sandy would probably help Dollia cope with the trauma of being murdered by someone who loved her and help her get used to being an undead. Dollia would help Sandy out with whatever she needs and would probably be the first to develop feelings for her. Essentially muscle gfs that will fuck you up if you steal from Janice's farm.

TLDR: Pygmalion but his sculpture leaves him for a gay mermaid