#joestar secret technique

[kenandeliza]

When in doubt, use the Joestar Secret Family Technique

Not exactly effective for avoiding a pissed off ex-assasin

[saeraas]

BEST MC BEST MC MY MC

[yoyosbazaarsadventure]

SOMETIMES I FEEL I'VE GOT TO

RUN AWAY

[jojoingjoseph]

I miss Joseph and the mun so much 😭

( Apologies for the absence, I've just had to deal with life things, a job and just being on another blog for a while BUT still here, just got less time but I am trying to actively get back to doing things here again. )

[uh-mozzaza]

teen girls woth big ass swords, this is what manga is all about

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

Anon from the raining during school day ask. don't threaten me with snitching, unlike you I actually care about my grades. Meet me at the Denny's parking lot at 3am tomorow.

jodio says:

pfffft dennys? oh i see ur trash i only fight at the finest establishments like ihop olive garden ur not worth the fight if u suggested dennys. dont be shy get off anon and come at me nerd

[j0urn3y]

Bro using the Secret Joestar Technique

Average Leosagi mission be like:

(Part 1)

[nikkiizo]

secret joestar technique weed brownie

[regendary]

As a Jojo fan, I greatly appreciate the creativity of Dandadan’s fights, but I also appreciate the amount of time the characters spend using the Secret Joestar Technique

They do not hesitate in the slightest to Just Run The Fuck Away. Many anime characters refuse to do this for unknown reasons

[gallade-x-treme]

when all else fails..... SECRET JOESTAR TECHNIQUE™ 😱

[nikathesiren]

"Listen up! This is something you're going to have to do for yourself! [...] Run for your liiiiives!!" - Joseph Joestar.

»——————⋆◦★◦⋆——————«

Jojo Monthly Redraw [2/9] - Battle Tendency

This is the 2nd of a total of nine drawings I'll do throughout the year. I'll be redrawing one scene from each part of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, from Phantom Blood to The Jojolands.

Battle Tendency was more enjoyable for me than Phantom Blood. I consider Joseph a charismatic and very smart character. Even though he later proves to be a bit of a shitty person (coughcheatingassholecough), I'll always appreciate a character that makes me laugh with his shenanigans, like Joseph with the execution of his famous Joestar Secret Technique™ hahaha.

Next month is Stardust Crusaders!

More of my art!

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

Various jjba characters in:

Bringing him home to meet your family

I have always thought this idea was interesting

Content: mentions of hookups, traditional family expectations and pressures stuff, pressures to get married

Headcanons style

Characters: Joseph Joestar (part 2), Bruno Bucciarati, Leone Abbacchio, Guido Mista, Gyro Zeppeli

-Joseph Joestar: a rich, handsome young man with a confident and charming personality didn’t sound so bad, but you had begged Joseph to behave himself around your family, and even with your pleading he wasn’t able to curb his arrogance or hold back a single comment that was almost too clever for his own good.

You were definitely getting worried. He was the smartest and most observant guy you knew; you were sure he understood your very subtle messages to tone it down a bit, but the show-off in him simply Could Not. They absolutely need to hear about how he defeated the Pillar men (your family has No Idea what a pillar man even is so it’s not nearly as impressive sounding as he wanted, even after a brief but vivid explanation) survived two plane crashes already, and despite all his dangerous ventures only came out missing one hand, replaced with a prosthetic. To your quiet little family that only wanted you to be safe and settle down with a nice person, Joseph wasn’t really winning anyone over this time-

You know he knows he’s not making a great impression either, and getting increasingly confused as to why your family is so difficult to impress. He didn’t realize your bloodline lacked a sense of ADVENTURE. Thank God he met you when he did. Lucky you.

So he uses his secret technique. Mentions casually that he’s also in the Real Estate business. Now THAT they like!! Real Estate is a very Stable career!

You send him a subtle glare that says he BETTER get into real estate.

He winks at you.

You hope it’s a “Yeah I’ll get into real estate” wink.

Score: 6.8 out of 10. He is undeniably charismatic, but he doesn’t really seem like the type who will ever settle down for real, they do worry about how happy you’ll be in the long run. Sure he’s exciting and fun now, but maybe he’s a bit TOO exciting. They do like that he’s financially stable though. As long as you promise to be careful and deeply consider what you want for your future, then they will support you.

-Bruno Bucciarati: Well everyone who has at least Heard of Bruno Bucciarati tends to have a favorable impression of him, and now that your family is actually meeting him in person they completely understand why.

He had actually seemed a bit nervous about meeting them. He worried very much about what they’d think of him, partly because he doesn’t have a lot of romantic relationship experience in general, and he really wanted to make this work with you, since you’re the only person who he’s ever felt this much affection for in his life.

You don’t think he has anything to fret about though, since he is the greatest guy you know, as long as he was himself, you knew he’d be fine; but you must admit, seeing Bruno anxious over something made you a bit nervous too.

He brought flowers for your family, talked respectfully but with that usual confidence you admired so much. And even from the way he carried himself around you, they could tell he had a deep love and admiration for you. His hand casually on your knee when you sit close together, always standing close enough to you that at least your arms are subtly touching, or his fingers are intertwined with yours. Romantic and affectionate, but classy. He is definitely protective, they wonder if he even notices the way he stands ever so slightly in front of you most of the time. They think it’s sweet that he’s always subtly looking out for you, even subconsciously.

By the end of the night, any nervousness he felt before had completely vanished, and he was comfortably laughing and making jokes and answering questions about himself honestly but not Too honest for them to grasp the true severity of his role in the mafia.

Before you leave he insists that he must meet with your family again sometime, and dinner will be on him. Your family is already treating him like he’s your beloved husband, and they are all too eager to take him up on that offer.

He is so lovely it kinda backfires on him honestly. Next time he gets to see your family, he’s being asked when he’s gonna pop the question to you. You know that’s not something that would scare Bruno away, but you still feel the need to apologize for how embarrassing it is that he’s getting nagged like that-

Of course he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but it was one of the first times he’s ever been momentarily caught off guard and genuinely didn’t know how to reply beyond an awkward laugh and a: “when the moment is right, I’ll know.” Smooth save, Bucciarati~

Score: 8.5 out of 10. -1.5 purely because he IS mafia and that’s a little worrisome, no matter how kind a man he may seem, you don’t get into the mafia through pure compassion.

-Leone Abbacchio: He’s surprised your relationship has gotten far enough that you actually want him to meet your family. Frankly, he doesn’t think it’s a great idea. He knows he’s not the sort of man parents would want to see their kid bring home.

It takes a LOT of convincing, and a fair degree of arguing to get him to agree to it.

You even have to pull out the: “Leone. If you love me…”

And he scowled and grumbled out a: “now that’s not fair,” but reluctantly accepted that he should do this if it would make you happy. He’d go, but don’t expect him to stay long or wear anything too fancy. And he’d prefer it if you did most of the talking.

He’s quiet, as you suspected he’d be, and right at the doorstep he starts letting you know he thinks this is a bad idea and you shouldn’t go through with this. At least not yet.

Right as he starts turning around to try and sneak away, the door opens, and like he suspected, your folks are super excited to see you, but suddenly go more quiet when their eyes land on him. The awkwardness level shoots through the roof as they literally don’t know what to say about your boyfriend, this was not what they were expecting at all when you said your boyfriend had experience in “law enforcement”. It really looks like you brought a delinquent home…that long hair and dark clothes and purple lipstick, not to mention how he literally won’t make eye contact with them, and speaks curtly and only when spoken to. You were mostly expecting him to be rude. But to your surprise he was acting much more shy than anything.

Really he’s just nervous and frustrated that this is going so poorly already, and you had never felt him grab your wrist and squeeze it to stabilize himself like he did when your parents turn around to lead the way inside.

He can’t stop fidgeting, his leg bouncing or him drumming his fingers on the back of the couch, staring down at the carpet and going along with whatever you said to make your relationship and situation sound like something your parents would approve of. Something about how he studied law, and the two of you met at a fancy restaurant through a mutual acquaintance. The two of you were fast friends, and shortly afterwards: lovers. He doesn’t correct your flimsy fake story, but your cute little retelling definitely sounds much better than the real story. The two of you had actually met in the trashiest bar in town, and you had only intended for your “relationship” to be nothing more than a one night stand between two pathetic people. Though the mutual acquaintance wasn’t a complete lie. You had technically only learned his name after Bruno Bucciarati helped both of you clean up your acts and recruited you into his squad. Though it was almost cosmically funny that Bruno unintentionally reunited you with the very same man you spent one messy, regrettable night with.

Not that the unpleasant truth mattered right now, since your parents seemed convinced enough. And they must admit, as alarming as he was on first sight, it’s sweet to see the way you sit closer to him, and lean your head against his shoulder and even though he stiffens a bit at the physical touch, he’ll let you have this if it makes you happy.

Your little white lie makes the evening go well, and like you promised, you don’t make him stay long.

“Getting kinda late,” you comment. It’s really not that late, but Abbacchio fakes a yawn to cement the idea.

You guys make your escape, and he visibly relaxes with an exhale now that he’s out of your parents’ house.

“How horrible. Don’t ask me to do that again anytime soon,” he grumbles, and you gently headbutt his arm for being so dramatic, but he has a weakness for you, and you for him, so you give him a break and spoil him a bit as a celebration for a successful first meeting with your family.

Score: 5.5 out of 10. He’s quiet and blunt, but he seems like a decent man underneath. They worry you won’t stay happy with him.

-Guido Mista: He’s not that nervous at first by the idea of meeting your family, but he’s realistic enough to know he’s definitely not some rich and proper gentleman like your parents were hoping. He mentally prepared himself for them to be surprised, and unhappy at the sight of him.

And sure enough, a few minutes after speaking to your parents, you’re being dragged into the kitchen and getting scolded for bringing home a delinquent and they want that “ruffian of a boyfriend” out of your life immediately. They said he had no manners, he was much too comfortable and touchy with you, and he had a bit of a temper, combined with how he walked around with a revolver shoved into his pants and his first impression was Not the greatest. You insisted that you loved him and wouldn’t be breaking up with him. They did Not like that, and decided to kick him out themselves.

He said he wasn’t moving from his spot on the couch unless you were coming with him.

You didn’t like where this was going, so you quietly told Mista it was time to leave.

He made a big deal out of sending your parents a pointed look after very intentionally sliding his hand into your back pocket and kissing your forehead on the way out the door.

He tried to stay positive, for your sake, even though you’re both upset about the whole thing. He cheerfully told you that you could easily just get someone else to give their blessing for the two of you to be together. It wouldn’t even be hard to find someone! Bruno could do it, and Mista respects that man’s opinion much more than your parents’ anyways.

You’re a little disheartened, but you appreciate him trying to cheer you up. You never thought yourself the type to elope. You had always tried to be good, and keep your parents happy with your choices and what you did with your life, and you had never stepped out of line or rebelled before. Guido Mista was your one and only act of rebellion. A new and exciting perspective. You always had to be so careful, so polite…but he said and did what he wanted, took life into his own hands and didn’t let someone just write out his entire path for him. It’s not like you had plans on letting some gangster whisk you away, honestly at first your plan was to convince him over to your lifestyle, try to get him to settle down and start a more conventional life with you.

Now came your second act of rebellion.

“Take me away from this all,” you mutter to him as the two of you step outside of your parents’ house.

He intertwines his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles, understanding immediately what you mean.

You wanted to join the mafia and escape your former life in a comfortable cage for a life of danger and adventure, with him.

You’re suddenly finding yourself in a significant amount of gunfights and attacks by enemy stand users…but you’re making your own decisions now, in everything you do, and you don’t ever turn back, only moving forward with Guido and your friends supporting you.

Score: ??? out of 10, doesn’t matter since you don’t talk to your family until they accept that you’re gonna marry him.

-Gyro Zeppeli: “You sure, sweetheart?”

He’s not the textbook definition of boyfriend or husband material. He’s wild, rugged, quick to react with violence, and he’s said it out loud and repeatedly that he’s “not a nice guy”. Hell, your relationship with him started as more of a casual hookup thing than anything else, but you stuck around and he liked you enough and you were never really an official thing but…clearly you were head over heels for the handsome Italian cowboy.

Okay, if you really want him to, then fine. He’ll meet your parents. But he makes it clear to you beforehand you shouldn’t expect him to suddenly marry you and settle down and play a doting hubby for you.

You had written a couple of letters to your parents beforehand, trying to prepare them for when they finally got to meet him.

He tries to be somewhat more civil and respectful for your parents-

And they try to be polite too, but they could NOT hide the way their eyes widened when they first actually saw him. He’s. Huge. Muscular. And with long, wild hair. You had to refrain from laughing at how they visibly flinched when they first saw his golden grillz too. You TOLD him he might not want to wear them for the first meeting. And he acted offended at that suggestion. You didn’t want to fight with him over it.

Admittedly it’s a rocky start. Thank goodness he actually had a medical background. And they weren’t convinced at first because….look at him…but after some conversation it’s clear he’s an intelligent and educated man. They liked THAT a LOT. Dr. Zeppeli sounded pretty good to them. They’re willing to give him a chance and admit to themselves that they may have judged him too early.

And well.

The more they get to know him, they see that rowdy, stubborn cowboy and talented medical prodigy are both fitting labels for him. But he’s a genuine man at heart, even if he has his secrets, they can tell. Even if he’s keeping something large from you and your family…he won’t hurt you. At least, not out of malicious intent.

You should be more worried about when HE brings you home to meet his family. If you really want to be with him, you have a lot to learn about the weight behind the Zeppeli name, and what it means to be with the eldest son of the current generation.

Score: initially……maybe 6.2 out of 10? His appearance IS kinda alarming, and his personality is LOUD. They are concerned he’ll end up being too much for you, and he didn’t seem like the settling down type at first glance.

[ask-the-crusaders-of-stardust]

Classic question but which one of you would win in a fight? 👀 Either with or without stands

Polnareff: "Ah! Why don't we spar!" He rises from his seat, shouting with great enthusiasm. "There's no better way to find out than with a bit of sparring!" Avdol: "Hold on a minute Polnareff." Avdol raises his hand. "It'd be wise for Mr. Joestar, Kakyoin, and Jojo to not engage in any fights right now, they're after all still healing from their injuries." Polnareff: He sits right back down again, dejected. "Right… s-sorry. I forgot."

... Joseph: "Hm, I wouldn't mind some sparring, I did do that quite a lot back when I was younger actually…but Avdol's right." Joseph's toothy grin suddenly grew more mischievous. "Good thing for you, otherwise I'd have gone old school on you lot. No stands? They didn't put hamon into the equation!" Jotaro: "Isn't ''hamon'' supposed to keep you youthful…" He stared blankly at Joseph. And his aging features. Joseph: "Wh-Hey!" Joseph uttered, offended. "If you use it regularly! It was too much work to keep up… and even so, I'm perfectly fine like this! Have you seen other men my age?" He crossed his arms tightly, turning his head away. Kakyoin: "Not that I know much about that ancient martial art of Mr. Joestar's, but if it were to come down to us having no stands… he does seem to have the upper hand. However-" Kakyoin's smug smile radiated confidence, speaking enthusiastically. "With stands, that's a whole other discussion." His eyes lit up. "No doubt would our confidence in our stands make for thrilling sparring, with the right strategy, I'd bet even Jojo could figure out a way to beat, say, my Hierophant Green's long range. Oh, but Avdol's also got a great arsenal of long-ranged abilities with his powerful flames… then I guess there's Polnareff's silver chariot, too, it does have its incredible agility." Kakyoin rambled. Jotaro: "Figure out a way?… Didn't I already beat you once?" He questioned. Kakyoin: "I wasn't In control that time." He tapped his forehead. "You may have deflected my Emerald splash, but that's not to say I haven't got other tricks up my sleeve I didn't get to use." Polnareff: "I think even I could deflect your Hierophant Green's ''Emerald Splash''! Were we to spar, Kakyoin." He chimed in with a cocky smirk. Kakyoin: "Even if it did, can one blade cut through a consistent barrage of them?" Kakyoin quipped back, suddenly looking serious. Polnareff: "Surely… You wouldn't even be able to tell how quickly and precisely my Chariot can cleave objects mid-air, were you to try it." He spoke with sudden gravity, returning the piercing stare.

"Or did you forget that quickly?"

Kakyoin: "…No, I haven't forgotten. But it's not just about if your stand could slice through my Emeralds or its speed, the moment chariot would move I'd have put up a web, and by then I could read your every move." Kakyoin's stare darkened.

"Would you have the strength and energy to keep up? I'd tire you out by the end of it." Kakyoin scoffed.

Polnareff: "Oh?" His brow furrowed considerably. "Well, Kakyoin. Unlike you, I don't reveal my secret technique so blatantly. Now when I know about your web, I already know what card I have to play to beat you!" His lips part into a confident sneer.

. . .

Avdol: "If I may, again-" Avdol stepped in between the two with a sigh. "While both your stands are undoubtedly powerful, I feel like this is very much a situation of circumstances. And, we will not be sparring anytime soon, so stop provoking the teenager." He shot Polnareff a look. Joseph: From further away. "Yeah! And uh, you didn't even mention my Hermit Purple, back with the… yeah!…" Joseph's gaze fell. Polnareff: He staggers back, seeming surprised. "Provoking him? Come on, we were just having fun! We were both in on it; I wasn't trying to provoke Kakyoin!…" He showed a lighthearted smile to ensure he meant what he was saying . . . "Did it come off that way?" He blinked, looking clueless. . . .

Avdol: "...Back to the point my friends, since we're recording all this into our answer, let's put it like this: all our stands have their strengths and weaknesses, and it'd take some deliberation to figure out. We cannot say for certain immediately, but perhaps the Speedwagon Foundation could run a poll among their employees about which of our stands they personally think would win." Avdol suggested. Jotaro: "You can take me out of the roster." He interjects. "Plus, gramps looks like he wants to be included. So to even the odds-…" He pauses. "I don't give a crap about this ''game'' anyway, is what I meant." (Totally). Kakyoin: "…Fine. If that is what we're doing." Joseph: "Oh! then how about we settle a vote between Kakyoin and Polnareff first? since that became a bit of a topic here." Polnareff: "Bring it on!" He cheers.

[Some afterwords after this rather long text post! For one, I'm really honored you read this far. Thank you! I hope people will enjoy script-heavy answers sometimes when I and mod Blueberry don't have the energy or time to illustrate a full-on comic when we really want to do a long response to an ask, like the one above.

-mod Moon]

[Credits:]

[Script by mod Blueberry and mod Moon]

[Art by mod Moon]

[nero-draco]

Askin pulled the secret Joestar technique

[a-stars-art-blog]

BAHAHAHA THE MERMAID BEACH EPISODE

they're all just flopping around on the beach and the enemy stand user tries their best to prevent them from reaching the water and leaving them stuck on land where they're helpless. joseph tries the Secret Joestar Technique but can only flop around like a magikarp. of course jotaro eventually manages to crawl to the sea and he's an absolute swimming ace once he's in water and gets the upper hand like a decent ocean man

imagine if the mermaid effect affects their stands too and now Star Platinum is a killer whale. ORCAORCAORCAORCAORCA

and after they beat the guy they're still stuck as mers for a while so they decide to might as well just enjoy and make the most of their new tails for however long they last

Bonus: (I couldn't think of alts for Avdol's and Pol's stands sorry sdalfjasd;lkfj)

[pulsarex]

tfw you realize that utena and anthy technically unleashed the joestar secret technique in the final episode