#joel used to be able to hear when she tossed and turned but now that shes moved how he has to ask

[mariatesstruther]

okay but what if maria used to have a strained relationship with her dad and she tells ellie about it after ellie and joel stop talking. and ellie is like????? i thought u adored your dad wtf how did u forgive him?? what happened??

and maria tells her what helped, that moving out and becoming her own person with her own space really helped open her up. and THATS how they get the idea to convert the garage into ellie’s space

[atomicladytimetravel]

The Best Part of Waking Up

Summary: Joel comes home exhausted after working fourteen hours, but reader is in the mood. After some begging, reader gives up. Joel wakes her up in the middle of the night to give her what she asked for.

Warnings: Mature content. Porn with very little plot - like is the plot in the room with us? 18+ ONLY. MDNI. Unprotected p in v, creampie, use of the word ‘whore’ (once and reader likes it), use of ‘daddy’, dirty talk, spanking, slight ass play.

Word Count: 1,851

It’s finally Friday, your favorite day of the week. Your husband Joel usually comes home at around 4:00 PM and the two of you have takeout, watch a movie and then fuck like rabbits. Sometimes you just fuck like rabbits. Either way, your body has basically been programmed to expect dick every Friday evening.

You glance anxiously at the time on your phone - 6:55 PM. Joel should’ve been home almost three hours ago, but something had gone wrong at the job site and he had to stay and deal with it. He promised he would be home by seven, but he hasn’t even called to say he’s on his way.

Finally, at 9:00 PM, you hear Joel’s heavy footsteps on the front porch. He opens the door, a sheepish look already on his face.

“I’m so sorry baby,” he apologizes immediately. “Being the owner isn’t all it’s cracked up to be sometimes.”

“It’s alright Joel, you’re home now.”

You cross over to him and hook your arms around his neck. His arms circle your waist and he gives you a lingering kiss. You’ve been horny all day and the slight bit of affection sends you into overdrive. You try to initiate sex, but he gently pulls away from you.

“I’m sorry honey, but I’m exhausted. Let’s get some sleep and we’ll have tomorrow to ourselves, yeah?”

“Mm, pleeeease Joel? I’ll do all the work.”

“As tempting as it sounds, I’m just too tired. I worked fourteen hours today,” he protests.

“But daddyyyy,” you pout, but he puts a finger to your lips.

“No whining. I’m going to go lay down and tomorrow, I’ll fuck you all day. I promise.”

“Fine,” you agree and he kisses you again. He bids you good night and you watch a few more episodes of your favorite show before joining him.

Joel wakes up a few hours later with his cock throbbing between his legs. He tosses and turns for another half hour, trying every method he could think of to make a hard on disappear.

“I should’ve fucked her when she was begging for it,” he thinks to himself. He turns and snuggles close to you, his hard on pressed into your ass. He kisses your neck, reaching underneath your sleep shirt to fondle your breast.

“Wake up baby girl,” he whispers in your ear when you start to stir. He nibbles your ear while he rolls your nipple between his fingers and you can’t help but let out a soft moan.

“What are you doing Joel?” you giggle sleepily.

“‘M just tryin’ to give you the cock you were beggin’ me for earlier.”

“Mm, but ‘m sleepy now baby,” you whine. You don’t protest when his hand wanders underneath your panties, however. He drags his middle finger through your wetness and uses it to circle your clit.

“Seems like you could use some help t’me,” he mutters into the crook of your neck. “She’s so wet baby. She wants t’be played with.”

You drape your leg over his in response, opening yourself up to him.

“There ya go baby, let me have it,” he rasps in your ear. You whimper quietly as he rubs slow circles on your clit. He dips his finger into your entrance and marvels at just how wet you are.

“Mmm, yeah she wants it bad darlin’.”

You whine as he removes his hand from your panties and he shushes you.

“I’m gonna take care of my baby girl, don’t worry. I just wanna get you naked first.”

You feel him shuffle behind you and he turns on the lamp on his bedside table. You roll onto your back, squinting and groaning at the sudden brightness.

“Sorry, I just wanna be able to see my beautiful girl,” he says, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. He pulls the comforter off your body and hooks his fingers in the waistband of your panties, dragging them down your legs. He tosses them aside and you sit up, pulling the shirt over your head as he sheds his boxers.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he compliments as he moves toward you on his knees. You lie back as he settles between your legs. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him toward you; he collapses on top of you with a chuckle and quick kiss.

“Thought you were too sleepy,” he teases. You pull his head down for a hot, opened mouth kiss.

“Not anymore,” you mumble against his lips. “Want you so fucking bad.”

“Yeah angel? You wanna feel daddy’s cock?”

“Yes…please,” you respond. He settles onto his knees and wraps a hand around his cock. He pushes the tip through your slit, using it to rub your clit. You grip onto his forearm and moan his name as he continues using his cock to rub your clit.

“Fuck it feels good just like this,” he groans. “Might make you cum like this before I fuck you. Pussy’s so fuckin’ slick.”

You don’t protest; the head of his cock on your aching clit feels too fucking good.

“Yes, please daddy don’t stop. It feels so good, been needing you to touch me all day.”

“Aww, you needy little thing,” he coos. “Always so ready for my cock, my good girl.”

You whimper in response, head tipping back as you feel the beginnings of your orgasm approaching.

“You’re gonna cum, aren’tcha baby? I can see it on that beautiful face. Go on, let it go for me so I can stuff that tight hole.”

“Yeah baby, I’m gonna cum. Keep going just like that, I’m so fucking close.”

He slides his cock through your folds once, twice, and then on the third time, you’re coming undone.

“I’m cumming baby, fuck!”

“That’s it darlin’ - fuck baby girl, you’re gettin’ my cock so wet.”

He slaps the head of his cock on your clit as you cum, prolonging your orgasm. Once you’ve come down, he aligns himself with your entrance and pushes in slowly, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls around him.

“Always so tight f’me,” he grunts. “Fuckin’ perfect pussy made just to take my cock.”

He rocks into you slowly at first, burying his face in the crook of your neck to suck on the skin there.

“My pretty, perfect baby girl,” he whispers. “Oh baby, you feel so good.”

“Oh god,” you whimper. You hook your ankles together behind his back, allowing him to push deeper. You drag your nails down his back and he snaps his hips forward in response; he loves the stinging feeling of your nails on his skin when he’s giving you his cock. He’ll have red scratch marks for a day or two, but he loves the reminder of how good he makes his baby feel.

“Do it again,” he hisses, and you oblige. He snaps his hips forward again with a growl.

“H-harder Joel, please,” you beg.

He sits up and hooks his forearms underneath the crooks of your knees and starts pounding into you. The headboard bangs against the wall with the force of his thrusts and you grip the sheets for dear life.

“Yeah baby? Like this? You wanna get fucked like a little whore?”

“Yes daddy, oh my god!” you cry.

“Fuck yeah, take this fuckin’ cock. Such a good fuckin’ girl.”

“Keep going baby, ‘m gonna cum,” you pant.

“Rub that pretty clit for me baby,” he instructs through gritted teeth. “Cum all over daddy’s cock pretty girl.”

You reach between your bodies and rub fast circles on your clit. Coupled with his hard thrusts, the action causes you to tumble over the edge, legs shaking and wild moans escaping your throat.

“Oh my god Joel, ‘m cumming so fucking hard!”

“Oh god yeah, I feel that pussy squeezin’ me,” he moans. He pulls out when you’ve come down and strokes himself slowly.

“Turn over and throw that gorgeous ass in the air for daddy.”

You obey quickly, arching your back and giving him the best view of your ass. He smacks it appreciatively, the sting making you moan. He spreads your cheeks and whistles lowly.

“Mmm, look at that pretty little ass hole.”

He slides his cock back into your pussy and grabs your hips, setting a steady pace.

“One day I’m gonna stuff both of your little holes at the same time,” he promises. The thought makes a fresh surge of arousal course through you.

“Oh, you like the thought of that, do ya little one?” he chuckles, feeling the rush of wetness that came with your arousal.

“Yes daddy,” you whimper. He stuffs the tip of his thumb into your ass hole and you gasp.

“Feel good?” he questions.

“Yes, please leave it there,” you respond.

“So fuckin’ hot baby. Oh fuck, I love you,” he whimpers.

“I love you Joel.”

His thrusts speed up and your head falls into the pillow below you, muffling your sounds. He grips your hair and pulls hard enough to lift your head.

“Keep that head up. I wanna hear how fuckin’ good I’m makin’ you feel.”

“Yes daddy,” you obey. He doesn’t release his grip, however, and with his hand in your hair and his thumb in your ass, you cum hard around him.

“Oh shit, oh shit, I’m cumming daddy!” you wail.

“Yeah baby, that’s my good girl. Daddy loves listening to you cum.”

He fucks you through your orgasm and keeps pounding into you until you’re having another. He spanks you repeatedly while your pussy clenches around him and you babble mindlessly about how good his cock is.

“I know baby, and you take it so well,” he smirks. “Best god damn pussy I’ve ever fucked.”

“Mmm, fuck, I can’t stop cumming,” you moan as a fifth orgasm hits. “Oh god daddy, I’m cumming so good.”

“That’s my fuckin’ girl,” he grits out. “Fuck, I’m gonna unload right in this little pussy. Gonna fill you so full of my cum. My balls are so fuckin’ heavy.”

“Yes daddy, give it to me. Give me your cum.”

His thrusts become sloppy until an animalistic sound tears from his chest. He grips both hips as his balls tighten and ropes of cum fill your pussy.

“Baby girl,” he rasps. “God damn, I’m blowing a fuckin’ load in your pretty pussy.”

You feel some of his cum trickle down your thigh, but he doesn’t stop.

“Fuck baby, it’s already spilling out and I’m not - nnngh - not done yet.”

He finishes with a final thrust and pulls out of you gently. Cum immediately starts dripping from your spent hole and he gets up to grab a towel. He cleans off your thighs and wipes off his dick before finding your panties and helping you into them.

“Keep as much of me in there as you can baby,” he says, patting your clothed pussy. He settles into bed behind you and wraps his arm around your waist.

“Get some sleep my love,” he whispers in your ear. “I still intend to keep my promise about tomorrow.”

[ellieslovr]

A Visit To Mr.Miller’s House

CW: age gap, daddy kink, dirty talk, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of pregnancy. This is a dbf joel miller fic. Reader has no physical description, Joel is able to pick them up. Joel Miller x F! Reader. wc:3,071

A/N:wow, it only took me a month to upload this time! Look at that. Anyways, this is my first Joel fic, so let’s see how it goes. Enjoy! I have many more ideas for him.

Summary: After your dad asks you to go pick up something from Joel’s house, you get a lot more than you bargained for.

You really hadn’t been thinking when you’d borrowed one of your best friend’s shirts. You’d had an impromptu sleepover, leaving you without a shirt to wear to bed. She dug through her drawers and tossed one towards you, laughing.

You scan the text on the front. “I LOVE DILFS” it read. You glanced up at her. “Seriously?” You said.

She just laughed. “You’re just wearing it to sleep, you’ll be fine.” You just roll your eyes and slump onto the bed next to her, nestling under the covers.

You’re awoken the next morning by your phone repeatedly ringing, and you yawn as you reach for it.

Seeing that it’s your dad, you groan and hit accept. “Are you just waking up?” He asks. Hello to you too, you thought.

“Yeah, I spent the night at a friends.” You reply. “Oh, well I have a favor to ask.” He said, and you could hear a shuffling noise in the background. “What’s that noise?” You ask him.

“I’m working on repairing this old car, but I need one of the parts for tomorrow.” He told you.

Before you could respond, he continued. “Since I wasn’t gonna be home when it got delivered, I had it sent to Miller’s house. Think you could go pick it up? I won’t be home till late, so you can just leave it on the table.” You groan internally. Of course he’d have it delivered there.

Your dad and Mr.Miller, or Joel as he’d insist you call him, were lifelong friends. They’d known each other since high school, and still hung out from time to time. It’s not that you didn’t like Joel, in fact it was the complete opposite. You liked him too much.

As a kid, you’d always seen him as a sort of uncle figure, but that changed as you got older. Now, you couldn’t be around him without being reduced to a blushing and stuttering mess.

You snap out of your thoughts and realize your dad is still waiting on a response. “Yeah, I’ll grab it. I’m leaving here in a few minutes.” You say.

“Thanks sweetheart, I’ll see you later tonight. Bye.” With that, he hangs up the phone. You turn around and see your friend grinning at you.

“What?” You ask. She smirks. “You have to go to Joel’s house~” She sings. You toss one of her pillows at her. “Shut up.” She laughs and throws it back at you, and you place it down onto the bed.

You finish packing your stuff, and your friend walks you outside to your car. You wave her goodbye and she wishes you luck with a wink, which you scoff at.

The drive back home is about twenty minutes, so you decide to take the longer route. The less time you have to see Joel, the better. You pull up to your house, and exit the car.

Once you’ve put all your stuff away, you pull a jacket on and head over to Joel’s house. It’s winter time in Texas and although it wasn’t freezing, it was still pretty cold. You walk up the front porch steps, and ring the doorbell. You wait a minute or so, and there’s no answer.

As soon as you lift your fist to knock, the door swings open. Joel peers down at you, dressed in a stained white muscle shirt and a pair of gym shorts. He must’ve been working out.

You swallow hard, trying to remember what it is you’re here for. “Oh, it’s you. Hey kiddo, c’mon in.” Joel says, ushering you inside. You smile at him.

“Thank you, Mr.Miller.” He shuts the door. “Call me Joel, sweetheart.” He tells you. You know the name doesn’t hold any weight behind it, but it still gives you butterflies nonetheless.

“You caught me right in the middle of my workout.” He says, using a towel to wipe the sweat off his face. You try to not let your eyes wander to the droplets rolling down his neck, no doubt cascading down his abs.

Joel doesn’t seem to notice that you’re distracted, and carries on. “How about you take your coat off and stay a while?” He asks.

Your heart skips a beat. “Actually, my dad just wanted me to pick something up.” You told him. His face dropped slightly. “Oh, right.” He replied, gesturing to the package sitting on his table.

“I could stay for a little though, I’ve got nothing to do today.” You told him, mentally cursing yourself for being unable to say no to him.

He brightened up. “Atta girl, I’ll grab you a beer.” On his way to the fridge, he stopped. “You’re old enough to drink right?” He asked.

You stifle a laugh. “I’m 24 Joel, yes.” You reply. He just chuckles and rummages around the fridge, pulling out two cans. He sits at a comfortable distance from you on the couch, and cracks his open.

You inadvertently watch the way his muscles ripple as he lifts the can to his mouth and takes a sip. He groans and places it down on the table.

“So, how’ve things been? Staying out of trouble?” He asks. You shrug your coat off, nodding.

“For the most part, yeah.” Joel’s eyes “accidentally” flick down to your chest as you do so, and his breath catches in his throat. He’s blushing. “Interesting shirt you got there.” He says.

You give him a confused glance, and then look down. “Oh, shit. This is my friend's shirt, I completely forgot I borrowed it from her.”

Joel’s grip on the can tightens, the metal bending under his grasp, his veins popping out slightly. “So that’s what you’re into these days?” He asks. “Dilfs?”

You laugh. “I’m surprised you even know what that means.” You reply. Joel smiles, some of the awkwardness dissipating. “Hey, I’ve been around. I’m not that old.” He teases. You watch as he leans back against the couch. “Your dads been good?” He asks.

You nod your head. “Yeah, he won’t be home until late because he’s working on something.” You tell him. You don’t miss the way Joel’s gaze darkens at your words.

“Yeah?” He says. He’s staring at you now. You shift a little under his gaze, big doe eyes staring up at him.

“Mhm. Might be out all night.” You murmur. He’s so close now. You can feel his breath fanning across your cheek. “Tell me to stop.”

He whispers it almost pleadingly, hand coming up to cup your cheek. Part of him knows this is wrong, that your dad will kill him if he finds out. The other part of him doesn’t care though, he just needs you so bad.

You lean into his touch. “Don’t stop.” You tell him. Joel curses under his breath and then he’s kissing you, his lips warm and slightly chapped.

You moan into his mouth and he loses control, wrapping his arms around your waist. When you pull away to breathe, he starts to kiss your neck. “Joel..” You mewl, moving to tug his shirt off. He complies, helping you pull it off.

You drag your nails up and down his bare skin, and he shivers. “Take me to your bed?” You ask. He nods and scoops you into his arms, heading towards his bedroom. He kicks the door open and places you gently on the bed, before shutting the door.

He immediately begins to remove your shirt, dropping it to the ground. He kisses down your chest, pulling a hardened nipple into his mouth. You arch your back, whimpering softly. Joel nearly growls at your reaction, and moves to pinch the other between his fingers.

You’re squirming underneath his ministrations, and he decides to take pity on you. He helps you shuffle your jeans off, leaving you in just your underwear.

Your arousal is evident through the fabric, a wet patch staining it. Joel groans low in his throat, dragging a single finger up your slit. You buck your hips into his touch, a soft whine leaving your throat. “Joel..” You mumble.

He leans in and kisses you to distract you, while he slips his fingers into your panties. He quickly finds your clit, brushing his thumb across it.

Your breath hitched. He slides them off with ease, adding them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Something about him being fully clothed while you were naked sent a rush of arousal through you.

Joel stands and pulls his tank top up over his head, wiping the sweat off his face with it. You catch a glimpse of his chiseled abs and the happy trail leading down his pelvis. He notices you staring and slips his gym shorts off.

Your eyes drop down to his bulge. He’s huge, bigger than any guy you’d ever been with, and he wasn’t even fully naked yet. You wait with baited breath as he slowly pulls his boxers down, revealing his hard cock. Jesus Christ.

He takes it between his hands, stroking it gently. “Open.” He tells you. You comply, letting your mouth drop open. He guides himself into your mouth, and you close your lips around him. He groans. “Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

He barely gives you time to adjust and he starts rocking his hips back and forth, his cock hitting the back of your throat. The sounds he’s pulling from you are obscene, wet and messy. You swipe your tongue across his tip, and he curses under his breath.

“I gotta pull out baby, m’ not gonna last long.” He tells you. You let your jaw go slack, and he pulls out. He begins to dig through his drawers, and you peer over at him.

“What’re you doing?” You ask. He grabs a box. “Condom.” He replies, pulling one of its package. You chew your bottom lip. “I’m clean.” Joel sighs.

“That ain’t my concern, sweetheart. I don’t need to be knockin’ you up, your daddy would kill me.” You pout. “I’ll go get a plan B after.” He groans. “You’re a stubborn one, ain’t you?” He asks.

“I mean, we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it.” You told him. He shakes his head. “That’s not it, I just didn’t want you to feel like you have to.” He said. You smile.

“What a gentleman.” You tease. He grins bashfully, looking down. “Yeah, you know me. So what’ll it be?” Your cheeks flush. “We don’t need it.” You tell him. He nods.

“Sounds good to me.” He tosses it to the side, and positions himself between your spread legs. He drags himself slowly up and down your slick folds, groaning quietly.

“Joel, please.” You urge him. He shakes his head. “No baby, you gotta beg me. C’mon, use that pretty mouth.”

“Please fuck me Joel, I need it.” You plead with him, looking up at him through your lashes. He gives in, and pushes into you agonizingly slow. Despite not being a virgin, it still stung a bit because of his size.

Once he was all the way in, he kissed your forehead. “Stay still baby. Get used to it.” He tells you. You do as he says, and a few minutes pass. You wiggle your hips, and a jolt of pleasure shoots up your spine. “You ready?” Joel asks. You nod.

He lifts one of your legs over his shoulders, and repeats the process with the other. Your body is pressed against him now, his skin flush against yours. He slowly starts to fuck you, reveling in how tight you are around him. “You’re so fucking pretty..” Joel murmurs against your lips.

You let yourself melt into his touch, knowing he’ll take care of you. His cock drags up and down your walls, lighting a fire in your belly. Joel grunts.

“Fuck, look at you. All spread open for me.” You whimper and lean up to kiss him, which he happily obliges. He gives you a hard thrust, and you moan into his mouth.

“Fuck, you feel that in your tummy, princess? You feel how deep I am?” You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. “Feels so good, Joel.” You tell him. He smirks. “That’s not my name baby.”

You wrack your brain, trying to think of what he means. Then, it hits you. “Daddy?” You say.

His smirk widens, and you feel his cock throb. “There you go.” He replied. You look up at him.

“Didn’t think you were that much of a pervert.” You tease. He raises an eyebrow. “The way you’re squeezin’ around my cock says otherwise, baby.” He tells you.

He hikes your legs up onto his shoulders, pushing deeper into you. “Oh, fuck-“ He grunts, muscles straining. You watched his arms flex as he held you in place, thrusting in and out of you.

“Christ, you’re tight. Them college boys ain’t doing it for ya, huh?” He asks with a smirk. You moan, rocking your hips to meet his thrusts. “No daddy.” You reply, reaching between your legs to find your clit.

“You let them fuck you like this, baby? You let them fill you up?” He asks you, a possessive edge to his tone. You whimper.

“No daddy, just you.” You reply. He laughs, reaching down to cup your cheek. “That’s right baby, this is my pussy from now on. Understand, sweetheart?”

You’re so cockdrunk now, that all you can do is nod dumbly as he continues to thrust into you. He just grins and slips his thumb into your mouth.

“Atta girl, just needed to be taken care of, huh?” He murmurs, pushing it deeper into your mouth. “Yes daddy.” You sigh contentedly as he continues at a steady pace.

You wrap your arms around him and pull him closer, dragging your manicured nails down his back. You wince, hoping you hadn’t scratched him too hard.

He groans and speeds up, the tip of him pressing right against your cervix. He has you in a mating press now, thrusting wildly. “I’m getting close sweetheart, you sure you don’t want me to pull out?” He asks you.

You lock your legs around his waist, your pussy gripping him tighter. “No. Want you to cum inside daddy, want you to fill me up.” You tell him, dragging your nails down his bicep.

He curses under his breath and spills inside you, muttering obscenities. You climax shortly after him, and slump down further into the bed. You both bask in the afterglow of your orgasms, while Joel presses gentle kisses all over your face. You sigh happily and look over at him.

“You’ve been real pent up huh?” You ask with a smirk. He playfully shoves you. “Shut up, I usually last longer than that.” He replies.

You chuckle. “I’ll have to put that to the test next time.” He raises an eyebrow. “There’s gonna be a next time?” You blush.

“Well, I just figured maybe-“ He cuts you off with a laugh. “I’m just teasing, baby. Listen, how about I take you out to dinner? You free Sunday?” He asks. You nod.

“Yeah, I’m free.” He grins. “Good. C’mon, I’ll help you into the bath and then we can order take out. That alright with you?”

You nod and lift your arms up, causing him to chuckle. “You wanna be carried, princess?” He asked, gathering you into his arms.

You slump against him, exhausted. He holds you with one arm as he turns on the water and warms it up, letting the tub fill.

He gradually adds bubbles, to which you raise an eyebrow. “You take bubble baths?” You ask him. He chuckles sheepishly, hand coming to scratch his cheek.

“They say it’s supposed to help relax you.” He replies. You shrug, sinking down into the water. “I’m not complaining.” The scent of lavender hits your nose as Joel climbs into the tub with you.

He looks a bit funny, hunched over and hugging his knees to make room for himself. He grabs a bottle of flowery shampoo, and you smirk.

“You got a lot of ladies showering here, Miller?” He rolls his eyes and uncaps the bottle. “It’s for when Sarah visits. Now do you want me to wash your hair or not?”

You respond by leaning your head back, dipping your hair into the water. Joel smiles at that and begins rubbing the shampoo into his hands.

He massages it through your scalp and you close your eyes, sighing in contentment. He finishes up with the shampoo and cups the water in his hands, washing it out.

He repeats the process with the conditioner, and starts washing his own hair. Once he’s finished, he turns the water off and stands up, pulling you with him. He grabs two fluffy towels from the closet, and wraps one around you.

“You good with Chinese food?” He asks, ruffling his hair with the towel. You nod. “Yeah, get beef lo mein too.” You tell him. He laughs, shooting you a glance.

“Demanding.” He teases. You roll your eyes, crossing the room and letting the towel drop. Joel falls silent, his eyes dropping down to admire your body.

“What were you saying?” You ask with a smirk. He blushes. “The beef one you said?” He asks. You nod, moving to tug his towel off. He bites his lip.

“I’m not sure I have another one in me, sweetheart.” He tells you. You hum. “I know. Just wanted to take a look.” He laughs and exits the bathroom, dropping the towels into a laundry basket.

When he gets to his room, he dresses in a pair of boxer shorts and an old t shirt. When he hands you one of his shirts, you pull it on over your head and smile at him. “It’s big on you, but you look good in my clothes.” He tells you.

You grin. “Not the only thing that’s big.” You tell him, leaning into him. He rolls his eyes. “Oh, and I’m a pervert?” He asks jokingly. You don’t respond, instead opting to pull him into a kiss.

Joel kisses you back, his tongue sliding across your bottom lip. Your stomach growling is what forces you two apart, and you blush.

“You gonna order that food?” You ask him. He grins and wraps an arm around you, leading you to sit down on the couch.

“Sure thing sweetheart.”

[piratefishmama]

Finders Givers | Part 1

“—But maybe someday when my ship comes iiiin~ She’ll understand what kinda guy I’ve been, an then I’ll win”

“Chrriiiisss!!” Eddie whined as he tossed himself onto his front, burrowing his head under the pillow

“And when she’s waaalkin, she’s loookin, so FI-I-IIIINE!!”

“CHRIS!!” It was no use, she couldn’t hear him. Too busy belting out Billy Joel in their little kitchenette at… he shoved his pillow aside, realising it was a fruitless endeavour to try and block out the dying cat that was his roommate.

They’d gotten in at just gone two in the morning after blowing the very last of their ‘rainy day’ fund on ten for two dollar shots at a local student haunt, and now it was… ten in the morning, they didn’t have jobs left to get ready for, he still hadn't been able to find his wallet anywhere.

And Chrissy was. Singing.

As if they didn’t have to start job hunting again or risk the fury that was their greasy landlord and his mission to extort them of all their hard earned money. They’d be out on their asses by months end if they didn’t find something soon and the band wasn’t raking in as much cash as he’d have liked for it to be raking in.

Last he heard some big shot was looking to buy the Hideout too, probably shut them down for good. That’d be just their luck.

“An when she’s TAAALKIN she’ll say that she’s MI-I-IIINEE!” He threw his covers off, accepting defeat. At least it smelled like eggs and bacon, so she was clearly cooking the last of their breakfast foods.

Chrissy was of course in her sleep shirt, legs bare, with naught but slipper socks to keep her toes cosy on the tile floors of their kitchenette, swaying to the vinyl player belting out Billy Joel by the open window. Many a man’s fantasy come true, Chrissy was a vision while lost in her favourite music, but to him, Eddie Munson resident flaming homosexual, okay she was still beautiful he had eyes, but those leggy legs and swaying hips didn’t do it for him, thanks. “CHRISS!!”

And she jumped, barely managing to save the bacon from winding up as a sacrifice to the dastardly floor gods. Whipping around to face him, she graced him with the signature Chrissy ‘sunshine smile’ which… didn’t track for the killer hangover she ought to have had given she had three rounds of those shots all in that tiny-ass body of hers.

“Eddieee!!”

“Chrisssyyyy, what’cha doin, Chriss?”

“Breakfast! And Billy Joel!”

“I see that, at… ten in the morning, after student night!” They weren’t students, Chriss could pass for one though “Whaaat’s going on?”

“Letter! The letter, on the top there, read it!” And she was turning her back again hips swaying, moving the foods over to two plates, the only two they currently had clean, oof, it was his turn on dishes, damn what he wouldn’t give for a dishwasher.

Curiosity piqued, he crossed the short distance (it wasn’t a large apartment) and plucked up the neatly tri-folded piece of paper, letterheaded with a real fancy SH logo, a business address and corporate phone number, the letter reading,

“Dear Tenant” he didn’t do inner voices, he had to read it out loud “This is to inform you that as of the week commencing June 12th the building will be under… under new… new ownership?!” He looked up, eyes wide with alarm.

“Keep reading!!” She prompted as if predicting his alarm, she wasn’t even looking at him, clearly jazzed about something, new ownership? The building had been sold from under them and she was happy? He looked back at the paper.

“At this time, we will be… suspending… suspending?” She nodded, turning with two plates in her hand to their tiny little table that Wayne had donated when they moved in “suspending your required rent payments as we… look toward renovating the building and all apartments within.”

“Keep reading, there’s more!” He sat down at his usual chair, paper held in both hands, eyes fixed to the print as he read.

“Any rent arrears accrued in the duration of the building renovations will be… hold up—”

“Yep.”

“You’re joking.”

“Nope, not joking, it’s official I called them this morning, took me ages to get through to someone but it’s legit, Eddie.”

“But—but shit like this—this doesn’t happen Chriss, and you know what the Police said that one time you got scammed, right? If it seems too good—” he was still looking at that word, that one little word that made all the difference.

“Then it’s probably too good to be true! I know, I know, but I got the confirmation from their office, I GOOGLED the number too, I didn’t just call the one on the letter cause I know scams can get’cha that way.” Although what kind of scam it could be was baffling as it wasn’t asking for money it was saying they wouldn’t be asking for money for a while “sobered my ass right up let me tell you, best hangover cure in the world, and Mrs Jablonski next door got one too! And Dottie across the hall, I’m pretty sure I heard upstairs yelling earlier, an I mean like happy yelling, not yelling yelling like usual. Cheering! I think it’s legit, Eddie…”

“So… we just… we don’t have to pay rent, at all… for however the fuck long these renovations take to happen? Do we have an expected completion date to these renovations? Or start date?”

“Nope, just a from week commencing, the lady on the phone had no idea about them but she got the confirmation from ‘upstairs’ and just said there’d be more information sent to us eventually and not to worry about it.”

“Not to worry—not to worry about it?” He wanted to worry about it, every fibre of his being demanded he worry about it. Not that they could even pay rent if it was asked for, they had no money and no jobs after he’d decked their line manager for calling Chrissy fat, she was not fat, and she’d only just stopped staring at herself in the mirror as if every inch of her was wrong. She’d passed the month mark since she‘d last forced herself to throw up. She was finally getting some plump back into her cheeks.

She was on the mend. She was recovering. And he’d just—Eddie had seen red. He just wished he’d have been wearing his rings at the time.

“You can call them if you want!” She spoke around a mouthful of sunny side up eggs. “I think whatever it was, was a really random decision high up, like… it wasn’t something decided upon by a board of directors or anything because she took a while to get confirmation about it, but—but I dunno Eddie, maybe… maybe things can be good for a while.” They wouldn’t have to panic about getting jobs.

Wouldn’t have to deal with grease trap Carl the guy who collected their rent every month who seemed to just… always be greasy. Hands, hair, face, clothes. Who’d look at Chrissy like she was a piece of meat, or make disgusting comments about how lucky Eddie was to live with her, while she was stood right there holding Eddie’s arm back stopping him from launching at the guy.

Wayne had offered to run the guy over one time “Would be a one an done, son, would catch him at just the right time as he left the place an be gone just as fast, wouldn’t even know I was there.” Like a grade A parent, with all the gold stars available at the local craft store. But Eddie could deal with Carl.

They wouldn’t have to anymore though. If this was legit, it meant Carl was gone. No more Carl.

“…Screw calling them, I think we should go down there and see what’s up.”

“M’kay, but eat your damn breakfast that’s the last of the maple bacon an you got the bigger piece.” If he immediately traded the bigger piece on his plate for the smaller one on hers, well… she only smiled over it, she liked the maple kind more than him anyway.

Or so he'd told her.

Part 3

[slimybeth69]

Such Small Hands

unbeta'ed, cross posted from my ao3.

mean/dark!joelxreader (no physical descriptions girthy age gap--no actual age mentioned but reader could be in her mid twenties- early thirties, no use of y/n. No physical descriptions but reader has an extensive background. Canon to the last 3 episodes of the series.) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, mentions of potential SA, graphic depictions of blood, reader brings up her past and shitty family (if it ain't for you, sorry). This takes place after the events of Crybaby With as much smut as this has, this is an angsty fic and it's building bonds and falling in love (maybe). And Ellie!! Little Baby Ellie is in this one!

Chapter 2- Killers

“Are you sure you’re going to bed okay? You know what medicine you need to get? How do I know when to come looking for you if you don’t come back? What happens–” Ellie is rapidly firing these questions at you as you walk out of the house the next morning. You turn and put your hands on her shoulders. Ellie stares up at you, her eyes are so full of fear but they're scanning your face, hoping you'll have the answers. You do. For the most part.

“Listen– you’re gonna stay here. No matter what. You do not come looking for me. Under any circumstance. You stay here with Joel. You do not leave his side until he’s able to come with you. Do you understand?” You talk to Ellie in the most stern voice you have. “I know where to go. I know what to look for. I can take care of myself. Please, take care of yourself and Joel.” You hand her your pistol and show her how to use it quickly. 

Ellie watches intently. 

“It’s easier to aim. Point and shoot. It’s got kick to it though. It’s gonna knock you on your ass if you’re not prepared for it. Got it? Lock your arm when you shoot and don’t flinch. Do not use this unless you absolutely have to. Understood? I mean thing’s coming through that door kind of need to, do you hear me?” 

Ellie looks terrified. You give her a hug. 

“It’ll be okay. I’m not taking the horse because it’ll draw too much attention. It'll take me a while to get there and back but I’ll be back tonight, okay? I promise, I’ll do everything I can.” You squeeze her tightly and you feel her still holding on so you let her hug you as long as she needs. The sun still hasn’t even come up yet, so you have time. She needs it.

“Be careful.” Ellie says as she’s pulling away. “Please.” Her eyes look so wide and scared and almost full of tears. 

“I will be. You need to be careful too. Barricade this door when I leave. I’ll knock six times when I’m back.” 

The walk into the city is long and cold with only one glove but you’ll look for more in the department stores. You wonder if any of the medicine is still even good by now. It’s a stressful thought. You need more alcohol and some antiseptic. Anything that will make sure Joel doesn’t get an infection if he doesn’t already have one. 

Joel slept through the night and was still sleeping when you decided you couldn’t sit around any longer. You got changed into clothes covered in Joel’s blood. You’d look for a new outfit while you were in the city. You needed them anyway. Might as well. You loved going into the city– not this one; you were in New Jersey when the outbreak happened. But the Big City. NYC. You loved going there when you were a teenager. 

This didn’t feel like that though. There was something so ominous about the buildings towering overhead. Everything was so eerily quiet. Not like a city at all. A ghost city. An abandoned one. All the buildings were overtaken by plant growth on the first and second floors. It was starting up to the third now. You could barely see the signs over the doors of each store. The moss and vines and leaves covered it all up now. 

First place you found was a department store. Inside was dark, you had to use your flashlight to see anything. The first floor was mens and kids. You look for anything that might fit Joel and toss it in a bag you picked up on your way into the store. It’s just a simple backpack, nothing special but it was empty. You’re holding the flashlight between your jaw and shoulder while you look through sizes. You’re as quiet as you can be. Checking to make sure there isn’t anything under your feet before you step. 

Upstairs is for women and home-goods. You grab as many t-shirts that will fit you and Ellie both in the bag not caring if they’re cute or what they say. You look for jeans that will fit. You’re stuffing this bag as full as you can make it. This place hasn’t been picked too bad. There were no knives when you checked the home-goods department. 

You do end up looking for another bag, a duffel bag, a bigger one in the camping section. You find it and just toss the book bag into the bottom and wrap the strap around your back so you can just throw things into it without having to carry it in your hands. Cooking things and camping gear. Whatever you really need. You still have to carry it to the pharmacy and try to find something for Joel. 

As you make your way down the stairway that leads to the first floor you hear it. Clicking. You close your eyes and hope your imagination is just getting the best of you in here. It is really dark and fucking scary as hell. Fuck. You were hoping to avoid all this. Hoped they had all cleared outta the city by now.

Staying quiet, trying to hear where it's coming from you slowly keep moving down the stairs. Your flashlight is pointed to the floor so you don’t step on anything. The clicks continue to echo softly. The sound can’t really be placed as it bounces off the walls and back at you from every direction. 

Shit. Shit. Shit…fuck. Okay. Stillness. You stay as still as possible and with your flashlight scan the room below you very slowly. You don’t move too fast, just try and see if anything down there is moving. Time feels like it is standing completely still. More clicks but now it’s evident that they are coming from upstairs, from behind you and you take off quickly down the stairs, still as quiet as you can be. 

You have to walk so slow, there’s metal camping gear in your bag and one wrong move will send everything scattering around in there and you’ll be fucking caught. No way out. Your feet move with grace. Like when you walked through the woods to meet Joel. You need to get back to him…back to Ellie. The clicks are still behind you, maybe closer than last time but you tell yourself that it’s all in your head and you’re just freaking the fuck out. 

Okay, you’re out the door and across the street and you watch the entrance with your revolver aimed at the door you just came out of. You breathe steady and wait. You wait for so long until you’re convinced that it wasn’t following you. The revolver drops down to your side and you sigh loudly. You wait, still watching with your finger on the trigger just in case. Just in case it pops out and starts fucking barreling after you. 

Okay. You’re possibly in the clear. There are so many stores lining the street. While you walk you adjust the metal camping gear so it shouldn’t clang together should you have to move hastily. You spot a drug store and struggle to open the door with all the overgrowth. It’s a good sign. No one’s been in here for a while. 

Inside is picked through. You find a bottle of rubbing alcohol though. A big one. The makeup section is untouched. You grab Ellie two compacts and a nicer hairbrush than the one she had. There isn’t anything else inside. 

There isn’t anything else on this main street. You dip off into a side street and find an actual pharmacy. You walk inside, no overgrowth covering the door. You find Neosporin. Unopened. You could cry. Tears actually spring to your eyes. You open it out and squeeze some out onto your finger and smell it and it smells like Neosporin. Like your childhood. This is what you came here for. 

You tuck it into your front jacket pocket because it s precious and you leave this God fucking forsaken place. 

You’re running. As fast as you can with the duffel bag still strapped to your front which isn’t fast at all but you need to get back. You’ve been gone so long the sun is already up high in the sky. The sun shines off the snow and hurts your eyes. You never did look for new gloves. Completely forgot. 

When you get back the sun is lower, not dark but getting there. You’re glad you left as early as you did. You knock on the door six times and wait for her to answer. Nothing. You knock again a little louder. Nothing. You push on the door gently and it gives to your touch. Fucking kid . You enter the house with your gun drawn. Setting the duffel bag down next to the door, you check around the corner. Clear. 

The hallway is clear too. The door to the basement is shut. You open the door and whisper her name but get no response. What the fuck? Okay. Maybe they’re both asleep. You take the steps downstairs and check on Joel who is still asleep. Ellie isn't in either of the rooms down in the basement.

She’s not fucking here. God fucking dammit. What actual fuck kid? You gave her one fucking instruction. You wonder is she doesn't listen to Joel either. Ellie is a teenager, she doesn't listen to anyone.

The door upstairs opens and you hear heavy footsteps above you, they're frantic and running across the floor. You aim the gun at the door as it opens and put your finger on the trigger. You drop it immediately as Ellie stumbles down the stairs, missing three on her way down.

“Where the fuck where you? Huh? I told you to stay put!” You shout at her. She holds up wrapped up gray cloth in her hand and pants softly.

“I got it.” Ellie smiles wide at you.

“Got what!? Someones fucking underwear? Ellie where the fuck did you go?” You're shouting at her because you were scared and frantic about her not being there just two minutes ago.

She recants her time in the woods. Explains she went out to try and hunt so we could all eat tonight. She actually shot a deer but two men in the woods traded her medicine for Joel for the deer meat. You stare at her as she talks. You can't believe it.

Ellie hands you the bottle and the needle. You hold it in your hands, still unable to talk. The bottle of antibiotics is cold in your palm. 

“I don’t know how to do it.” She kneels down to Joel and puts a hand on his shoulder. "He needs it though. He has a fever." You knew he did. You checked him earlier and he was burning up. 

Joel is worth figuring it out for. Poking the needle into the top of the bottle you pull the liquid into the syringe until it looks like enough. You don’t know! You wanted to do hair for God's sake! Not be a nurse. 

Your hands are shaking as you inject him with the antibiotic. You lean down and whisper into his ear.

“You get better soon. Don’t leave me with the kid. She doesn’t listen to me.”

You and Ellie go and sit with your backs against the wall. She mirrors you when you pull your knees and rest your arms on them. You sigh deeply and try to pretend like none of this is really happening. This is what happens when you think with anything other than your brain. You were thinking with your pussy and this is what you get. Bloody clothes and a near dead man on the bed across the room and some new teenage girl who’s looking at you for answers. 

“These guys with the medicine? You know where they stay?” You’re whispering to Ellie while Joel rests. She nods at you. “You could tell me how to get there?” If you can get there and scope things out you might be able to see what you’re up against. You wonder if Ellie did a good job hiding her tracks back here or not. 

“I could show you.” Ellie raises her eyebrows. She wants to take you there. You frown at her. What is she thinking? Leaving Joel here all alone? Obviously she wasn’t thinking, she’s just a kid. Trying to prove to the two adults she’s with that she can help. That she’s grown too. Not just a kid.

“Do you think this is an adventure? Is this fun to you? Those guys are probably looking for you right now.” You keep frowning as the small smirk disappears from her face. “Good. I’m glad you know I’m serious now since you didn’t seem to know earlier.” You’re so angry. You know she was just trying to help but it’s just made everything so much harder. Even if she did get the medicine. 

“I got the medicine that you couldn’t get.” She growled at you angrily, like she was reading your mind. Ellie had that comeback ready before you even started talking to her. She knew what she did was wrong but she was trying to justify it. 

“I hadn’t even left before you went off hunting in the woods, doing exactly what I told you not to.” You snap at her, pointing to the door. This is what your mom must have felt like when she’d find out you snuck out with your boyfriend to go into the city for a show or for dinner without asking or telling. You know why she was so scared now. The world was not a nice place for fourteen year old girls. You didn’t know that then. Ellie doesn’t know that now.

“He was going to die without it.” She keeps growling. The face she’s making at you is similar to the ones she’d make when Joel and her picked you up before you all left Wyoming. You got on the horse he brought for you and you’d catch her giving you looks just like this one out of the corner of your eye. Her face would be pressed right into Joel’s back looking at you like you were a clicker or a bloater. Or something worse. A threat to her and Joel’s plan.

“What you did was very helpful. Yes. But it doesn’t change the fact that you still didn’t take me seriously. Ellie. Those guys could have done so much worse than just kill you.” You shake your head because you don’t know if she gets that. “I just want you to be safe so that when he wakes up, he doesn’t kill me for losing you.” You point to Joel in the bed across the room. He’s kind of scary, you’re not going to lie. You’d hightail it out of here and back to Jackson before he woke up if anything happened to her. You did not want to be on his bad side. You were already on his good side and look at the things he did to you.

“I’m not going to get lost. Or killed. Or worse. ” More growling like she’s tough. “I’m strong-” You snort in a short burst of chuckling because she sounds just like you did. It’s insane listening to her talk. Listening her argue; saying she’ll never let that happen to her– she has no control over those things and you’re surprised she thinks she does. It makes you embarrassed for how you used to talk to your mom or your aunts growing up. You’re just trying to help her. 

“I’m so glad that you know exactly what’s going to happen out here. I’m so glad that in your fourteen years of life that you just know everything you need to know. I’m so fucking happy.” It’s a whisper. “I was your age once. I get it–but you have no fucking idea what’s going to happen when you walk out that door. You need to remember that you’re not un-fucking-touchable. You can get hurt. You don’t know.” You glance over at her, because you haven't looked at her once. You’ve been too upset and frustrated and worried that if you looked at her you might cry.

“And you do?” She snaps back now. 

“I have no fucking idea what’s going to happen. But I know what can .” You do start to cry because you’re overwhelmed. The last however many hours have passed are finally catching up to you. “I know what will happen to little girls like you and women like me if men who are fucked-” You tap your head. “Or desperate-” you tap between your legs. “-could do if they wanted. You better hope your aim has gotten better since the other day.” You push yourself off the ground and walk away from her. You can’t look anymore. You don’t want to say anything you’ll regret.

“I know what you’re talking about and I would never -” You spin around so fast it makes you dizzy.

“I hope you never have to try and overpower a man who is holding you down.” You whisper it even though you want to scream at her. “I have to sleep now. Please for the love of God, don’t fucking leave.” 

You lay down in the bed Ellie had slept in the night before. It’s soft. And it has blankets and it’s perfect. You think of living here. Forever. With Ellie and Joel. It would be nice to cozy up and relax and play house. You always wanted to do that. Imagining the idea of giving Joel kisses as he walked into the kitchen as you helped Ellie with her homework are the thoughts that lulled you to sleep. You slept for fourteen hours. 

Ellie is fucking gone when you wake up. Of fucking course. You should have never fallen asleep but whatever. You’ll go get her. She can’t be too far, right? Joel is still asleep. Fuck.

Fuck. It’s fucking bitter cold and now you regret not going back for a new pair of gloves. You run out into the street and look in both directions. She’s running from the right and pointing to get back inside. You shake your head and motion for her to get her ass over here right the fuck now.

“We– yo– we– they’re coming.” Ellie stutters. “They’re coming to look for us.”

Fuck! You press your hands into your eyes and hold back a shout of frustration. Hands fall to your sides and Ellie is gone again, she’s running up to the garage. 

“Where are you going?” You follow her as she opens the door. 

“I can get away. I’ll distract them. You gotta stay here and keep Joel safe. Please. I won’t be able to do it myself. Please just keep him safe and the horse will take me far away and then we can-” She’s already on the horse and you don’t know what else to do. 

“How many?” You ask, pulling your revolver from your holster and checking how many bullets are in there. It’s still full from this morning. 

“I don’t know, maybe six or seven.” She’s whining looking out the open garage door. 

“Okay. Okay. Fuck. Okay. Yes. Go. Run Ellie don’t fucking stop please don’t stop. Run and get as far away from here as you can. Run until the horse won’t fucking go anymore.” You’re pleading with her. She looks down at you with fear in her eyes again. “We’ll come for you. I promise Ellie no matter what happens we will come for you.” 

You slap the horse's ass and she takes off. 

Shit shit shit shit shit. You shut the garage door as fast as you can and run inside. Fuck. Everything inside of you is shaking. You need a knife. They’re probably in pairs. You can fucking do something, right? Ambush them, something. Fuck. You’re by Joel’s side now and you’re crying. 

“Please wake up. P-Please wake up. I’m so fucking scared right now.” Your head turns to the door leading down to the basement. You forgot to shut it. “Joel!” You exclaim and his eyes open just a little. “Joel, they're coming, you need to w-wake up.” You leave your revolver on his chest and grab the knife off his belt and run upstairs. You get to the top step and you peek around the corner. You never shut the front fucking door when you ran inside like a dumb fucking idiot. 

You step up into the hallway that leads down to the front door and as you go to shut it you see someone step right outside, looking in at you from the screen door. 

It makes you jump and he’s got the door open before you can shut and lock the big wooden door in your hands. He pushes back against it with force and you stumble back two or three steps and he opens the door fully. His boots thump loudly on the ground. 

“No. You fucking stay away from me or I’ll cut your fucking throat.” You warn him, holding up the knife. The man in the hat with the long beard and hunting overalls takes a couple more steps towards you. He’s holding a hunting rifle across his chest. 

“Oh baby. My brother’s right outside. He’ll be in before you know it. Then that knife won’t mean shit.” The man grins at you. You go to reach for your revolver but it’s fucking downstairs on Joel’s chest. “Aw, you lose somethin’ important?” His grin widens and he’s got dirty yellow teeth, almost brown.

“Your brother as ugly as you are? If so, damn, I’d hate to see your mommy.” You frown at him. “Unless daddy is the ugly one.” You sass him, looking him up and down. 

“Oh you got a mouth on ya, huh?” The man finally smiles and nods at you. “Love a cunt with a mouth.” His smile drops and he starts coming at you with force. You hold the knife close to you and as he gets close you swing it around and try to connect with his ribs. He holds his arm out and tries to catch your wrist but he misses and you end up slashing across his chest. “Fuckin’ dumb bitch.” He growls.

“You sound like my daddy.” You smirk and he lunges at you, pinning your arm with the knife between you and him. You still try and wave it around wildly and can feel it slashing and cutting at your own stomach so you stop. “Fuc-” All the air in your body leaves. All the air that was about to enter your body suddenly has somewhere else to be. You don’t even remember past air that you have breathed before. The man knocked you to the ground and he’s on top of you.

“You’re gonna get it from both of us.” He snarls in your ear. “Gonna fuck you all night long then bring you back to all the other hungry men that we know. Let them all have their way with you. Just like the girl. She yours? She your little one? We caught her. We’re all gonna rape her.” The man whispers now. “Gonna rape your daughter.” He sings it to you now sweetly like it’s a tune on the radio.

You’re fighting with everything inside of you. Your boots slam on the floor under you, attempting to push your hips up to knock him off of you but he’s got his whole weight on top of you and the rifle pressed across your chest. You feel him start rocking his hips against yours and everytime he does the blade of the knife digs deeper into the soft flesh of your belly. You start to scream but one of his dirt stained hands stops you.

You see his brother walk downstairs and that's when real fear starts to hit you. Joel is going to die.

“Ohh no. You gotta be quiet. You have to be quiet. You don’t wanna get me too excited now. I love when they fight back. It’s my favorite. You’ll embarrass me. Make me come too quick. We don’t want that now do we?”

There is no way this is happening. You were tucked away safely in your little cabin in the woods when the guy you were fucking invited you to escort a young lady to Salt Lake. Now you’re about to be passed around and watch Ellie suffer while Joel dies in a basement. What the fuck. You start to cry because this is not really happening. No fucking way. You clench your eyes shut.

His hips start moving with meaning and the knife just digs in deeper and deeper. It’s pressed sideways, not stabbing into you, but with every movement it’s cutting into you like a saw. You whimper in pain and fear and acceptance that you’re probably going to die. The guy on top of you is dry humping you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You keep trying to push up with your hips to move him, despite the pain, despite the blade. You don’t want to die like this. 

“Just gotta wait for my brother to get up her–” His voice and his weight is torn from on top of you and your eyes shoot open and Joel is standing there, holding the man by the back of the neck with your gun to his head. 

“Let’s go.” Joel growls. You jump up and grab the rifle from the man and hold it close to your chest. You follow them as he leads the man into the front room. There is snow piled up in front of one of the open windows. You hold the rifle to him as Joel sits him down in a chair. “Your brother is in really bad shape downstairs. I’m gonna go get him. I need you to stay here.” Joel brings the butt of the revolver down hard on the front of the man's skull and you wince, watching him go limp.

“What are you doing?” You ask as Joel walks past you. “Where are you going?” 

“Were you not listening?”Joel grunts as he makes his way into the basement. “Stay!” He exclaims. “Don’t take that fucking gun off him for nothing, do you hear me?” He demands you the way you tried to demand Ellie to stay put earlier. You nod and turn the gun back to the unconscious man in the chair. 

Joel is struggling bringing that man's brother up the stairs. You can hear him grunting and you just know you’re going to have to restitch him. You hear a loud bang, like something or someone fell into the wall at the top of the stairs. You hope it’s the man’s brother. Joel drags the across the room by his feet. He’s got duct tape around his wrist.

“Okay.” Joel sighs, he used an entire roll of duct tape to tape them up. Once they were nice and secure Joel took the hunting rifle from you. “Where is she?” He asked, he was angry. 

“She took off with one of the horses. Tried to distract them away from us long enough that I could get you on the other horse and meet up with her.” You try to explain but Joel clenches his jaw.

“You let her go alone?” He yells at you.

“What did you want me to do? Leave you!? She’s got my gun and the horse. You were fucking knocked out! ” You yell back at him. You knew he was going to be mad at you. “It was her fucking idea! I didn’t know what else to do, okay!? I just wanted you to be safe and get her the fuck out of here.” 

“Go outside. Make sure no one else gets close to this house. You shoot whoever walks up near here unless it’s Ellie.” He gives you the hunting rifle. Okay Joel. Fuck you, too. You’ll go outside and walk back to fucking Jackson. Almost died trying to protect him. Protect the girl. Fuck him. 

You take the rifle from him and as his hand leaves it he snakes it around the back of your neck and pulls your forehead to his lips. He holds you there for such a long time. It feels so good because he’s warm and has a fever, also because it’s nice to know he doesn’t hate you. 

“Go. Eyes peeled.” You wait outside for him. 

You hear everything from the open window. Joel is asking them where Ellie would be. The men admitted to him they had captured her after Joel shoved a knife behind one of the mens knee caps. You heard him do it and then explain he was going to “pop it off’. The sound the knife made when it left his knee was something you’ll never forget. The sound the man made too.  

“What were you gonna do to the lady once your brother got upstairs, huh?” Joel speaks quieter now but not quietly enough that you can’t hear him. 

“Nothin’ man. I promise. Nothin’ we were just going to bring her back to the town.” The man sounds so nervous. You would look if you weren’t afraid of Joel doing the same thing to you. 

“That's why you were already halfway done when I ripped you off her?” Joel shouts. It makes you jump and there's a commotion inside. It sounds like someone fell. Someone’s being beaten. Someone else is screaming bloody murder. You run inside to make sure that Joel is okay but you’re greeted with the sight of him towering over the man he had taped to the chair, stabbing his knife into his chest repeatedly. His brother, who Joel had taped up and sat down on the bench of a piano. 

The man in front of the piano was screaming and crying and you’re terrified watching the scene unfolding before you. 

“Make him stop!” The man who wasn’t getting stabbed repeatedly in the chest screamed at you. “We told him where the girl was, make him stop!” The man wailed, watching his brother unable to fight back. Joel ripped the knife out of his chest cavity with a squelch and started towards the other man, looking at you over his shoulder.

“I said outside!” It was shouted at you loudly. You nod and turn; feet shuffling in place for a moment before you ran back outside, not wanting to see what Joel was going to do to him. 

You make your way to the garage, looking around to see if anyone else was coming to look for the brothers but you didn't see anyone. The horse in the garage snorts loudly as you pet him. The bitter cold nips at your cheeks and forehead. Your exposed fingers. You stand in front of the garage, waiting for something. You don’t know what exactly. 

“When I fucking tell you something, you better fucking list-” Joel’s voice from the front porch makes you whip your head around. It takes you less time for him to step down off the porch to get angry. Spitting and screaming and yelling angry at Joel.

“Shut the fuck up!” You shout, interrupting him. “Shut the fuck up right now. You don’t get to boss me around like I’m fourteen years old. Fuck you.” You spit at him. “I almost died trying to fucking keep you safe, we both did!” You’re holding the rifle close to your chest, your other hand pointing out behind you somewhere in the direction that Ellie could be in. “Don’t fucking yell at me like I’m a little fucking girl! Go, go and find her. By yourself! I'm not staying here. I didn't sign up for this! I’m going home.” You push past him and start back into the house.

Joel grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you back so you’re standing in front of him again. His eyes are so angry. They're so bloodshot like he should still be sleeping. He really should be. He’s not ready to travel, he definitely shouldn’t have been exerting himself so much inside either. 

“You stay.” He growls. “You wanna go back? I'll take you after we drop the kid. You’re not going without me, are you fucking thick?” Joel leans in and tries to kiss your forehead again but you pull away. Joel grips you tighter. “I need you.” He whispers now. “I need you to help me get her back. I can’t fucking go get her like this by myself.” His voice has a hint of desperation to it. You look down and see that he’s bleeding through his shirt. 

“Fuck.” You whine quietly

“You went into the city by yourself?” Joel needed you to stitch him again, he stayed awake for the whole thing. You gave him another round of antibiotics and you gave him some clean clothes you picked up from the store. Joel shook his head as he pulled the new shirt on carefully. You nod and hand him the new flannel as well. They both fit. 

“Yeah. I did.” You look at Joel who is buttoning the flannel. He looks so tired. So worn down. You feel so bad for him. This is all your fault. If you had just stayed with him in the room at the university none of this would have happened. 

“You two always wanting to run off by your fucking selves.” Joel grumbles as he sits down on the side of the bed that you and Ellie had slept in. “You okay? You’re covered in blood.” He nods to you and you look down. You haven’t changed your clothes yet at all and you're still covered in his blood. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s yours. I got some new clothes for me and Ellie in the bag.” You sigh and rub your hands down your face. “This is so fucked. What is going on? What are you doing with her? She’s clearly not your daughter and you’re taking her somewhere, right? Tell me what’s going on or I’m out. I’ll take my chances alone on the way back, man, I mean it.” You’re talking quickly, nervously. All you want is some answers and your warm cottage in the woods. What the fuck is going on?

“It’s too difficult to explain right now. I will though, when we get her back, ok?” Joel isn’t telling you the truth. You can hear it in his lying ass voice. You roll your eyes. “You just have to tru-” You chortle and shake your head at him. 

“No. I don’t. I don’t have to do anything right now. I want answers. I want you to tell me where you’re taking her and why we couldn’t all just hang out at my house outside the compound. Why is she so important to you? She your niece or something?” Joel shakes his head at you. “Okay. I’m leaving. I can’t fucking do this anymore.” 

“She’s fucking immune. I’m taking her to a hospital so they can try and find a cure.” Joel grumbles it out, defeated that you’re serious. Calling his bluff. You think for a long time before you turn around to look at him. 

“You’re gonna let them kill her?” You ask in horror. You can’t believe that the man you’ve been fucking is going to help an innocent girl right into her own coffin. 

“They’re not going to kill her. They need her DNA.” Joel waves you away with his hand dismissively.  “Not gonna kill her, are you stupid?” He scoffs at her like he hadn’t thought about it once. You’re dumbstruck. 

“It’s a disease that controls your fucking brain, Joel. If she’s immune, where do you think they’re going to want to look!? Do you think they give a shit about one fucking girl when it comes to the rest of us? Everyone else they could save? They’ve sacrificed so many people already who they claimed to be immune, a teenage girl isn’t going to be high up on their list of people to keep alive.” You’re yelling at him. You can’t believe that those thoughts didn’t go through his mind. Maybe wishful thinking on his part that he’d be able to keep up whatever weird fantasy they were both fulfilling in this journey. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Joel waves again at you, dismissively like you’re stupid and couldn’t ever possibly know what you’re talking about. You smirt at him and nod your head. 

“You’re gonna be sorry when you walk her into wherever she wants to get to so bad and they don’t let her come out, Joel. Really fucking sorry you didn’t listen to me. She knows? She knows the people where you're taking her are going to experiment on her?” You go for your bag on the floor and start packing all the things that have spilled out over however many days you’ve been here. 

“Yes. She knows.” Joel says quietly, like he’s processing what you just said finally. You nod and grab the hunting rifle that’s leaning against the wall. “Where are you going?” 

“To get her, and fucking keep her away from wherever you’re going to take her. They will kill her dude. You don’t get it.” You shake your head and make your way to the stairs. 

“If you’re going, I’m coming with you. And she’s going to the hospital so that we can find a c-” 

“We won’t ever see a cure in our lifetime, Joel!” You scream it at him. “Probably not in her lifetime either, so why– this girl you’re so attached to– why take her to a place that’s going to hurt her?” You don’t get him at all.

“We’ll go get her. Together. While we’re on the way you can tell me more about why you think they’re going to kill her.” 

As you walk, you explain to Joel how your dad used to work for animal control back in Jersey before the outbreak. You tell Joel about how scientists would have to look inside an animal's brain to check for rabies. He explains he knows how they check for rabies. You ask how he would expect them to do any sort of tests or experiments on Ellie for a disease that affects the brain? They need to look at your brain, and you can’t be alive for them to do that. We don't have the equipment now for scans and images. They'd have to kill her, you're sure of it.

Joel says nothing as you walk. What the man on top of you had sang while he dry humped you rings through your head.

“We’re gonna rape your daughter.”  

It makes you sick to your stomach. You quicken your pace even though Joel is the one who knows where to go. You don’t care, you want to get there as fast as you can. You think about Ellie and what she’s dealing with all alone with whoever the fuck has her. 

“Listen to me,” Joel grabs your face with his hands and makes you look right into his eyes. “Be. Careful. Watch your back. Stay quiet and calm. You get back to me as soon as you can. Check every room in that building, then you come back. If you can’t find her we will go look together.” Joel gives you very clear instructions that feel a little condescending but you’ll explain how calm and cool and collected you stayed while he was stuck like a pig.  

“I will.” 

The building behind you has smoke coming out of it. Joel tried to insist on coming in with you but you threatened to punch him in his stitches and explained he would just slow you down. You could get in fast and hopefully find her before the building got anymore engulfed in flames. 

You run into it, revolver drawn. It’s quiet but you can hear fire crackling down the long hallway. The place must have been a rec center or a nursing home or something. So many rooms and so many places for Ellie to hide. 

You don’t have to look in more than three rooms before you hear her–screaming. Crying. She sounds like she’s hurt. You bolt out of the room you were in looking for her and run down the hallway as fast as your feet can carry you. 

“Ellie!” You shout as you enter what looks like a dining hall, a giant room with tables and chairs for everyone to gather around and eat meals together. The whole place is engulfed in flames but you don’t see her anywhere. “Ellie!” You shout again and finally as your eyes scan the room you see her, on her knees, slamming her fists into… a man on the ground below her. She has a knife and she’s driving it into every soft part of him she can find. 

You run to her; as soon as you put your hand on her back she brings the blade back down into your calf. The knife sinks into the muscle and it sets fire to your brain. Shooting electric, white hot pain in your calf, unlike anything you've ever felt in your entire life.

“Fucking cunt bitch! Fuck!” You scream and push her away from you. She rips the knife from your calf, it makes you scream again in pain and you drop to your knees. “Ellie it’s just me.” You choke it out through sobs of pain. But she’s back to stabbing the man below you. 

You push yourself up to your feet again despite your leg telling you to lay down and die in this fire. Waiting until her arms are down to her sides you lunge forward and you wrap your arms around her. She screams and tries to fight you, she pushes back with her legs and sends you both tumbling back to the ground. She’s on top of you but you have her pinned and are squeezing her tight. The wind got knocked out of you when she landed on your chest and you're wheezing now. 

“Ellie, shhhhh, Ellie it’s just me. Me and Joel. Shhhh Joel is here, he’s okay.” You try to wheeze calmly in her ear but she’s still fighting you. She cuts your outer thigh with the blade as she slashes around. “Ellie! Joel is outside!” You scream now and something about your voice or what you just said calms her. She goes limp in your arms and is sobbing now, just shaking and weeping. You let her go and roll her to her side. She goes fetal. 

You grab her but now your entire leg is on fire. Your calf is bleeding so bad you can feel the pool of blood in your boots pooling up around your sock with every step you take. The slices on your thigh are deep but not stab wounds but they still fucking hurt. She lets you pull her to her feet. Ellie takes off, starts to quickly head for the exit but you can’t move as fast as she can. You're moving slow, having to hold on to the backs of chairs and tables to move along the dining hall. The flames are getting bigger and hotter and now you're starting to sweat. Ellie notices, she comes back for you and puts her arm around your waist. You lip out of the burning building as quickly as you can. The smoke is so much thicker now than it was when you came in. You’re almost choking. 

Once outside your hands and knees hit the snow. You can’t help it, everything in your right leg is absolutely screaming at you to stop. Ellie tries to help you up, screaming words of encouragement to you through sobs. You’re crawling along the ground, trying to get away from the building, from the smoke but it’s slow going. You can barely move your leg. Smoke pours out of the open door behind you and you can hear the structure start to creak and groan. 

“Please come on. We have to go. Please come on.” Ellie cries softly. She’s in front of you, pulling you by the shoulders of your jacket, away from the building. You move your arms and your one good leg to try and help her pull you away. She's yanking on your jacket as hard as she can, dragging you into the snow. 

You lay on the white snow as she falls down in front of you. Ellie is content with how much distance you two have put between yourself and the fiery hell behind you. You’re panting, face in the snow, you don’t care. You curl your fingers in the white powder as you close your eyes. You could die here, right now. It'd be okay. It’s pretty here. Very pretty. Lots of trees. Like the woods kind of. Like where your cabin used to be. You think you are dying. You've never felt weak like this before. Or so tired. 

There’s a hand on your back and you’re fighting for your life again, someone's got you. Someone's coming to get you, rape you and make you watch as they kill Ellie slowly and burn Joel on the stake. You're scrambling, trying to get to your feet, crawl away, anything. Just move. The only thought in your head is to move. Get away. Ellie is in front of you with her hands on your cheeks, shhing you. Trying to calm you. You rest your head in her hands and sigh softly. 

“It’s Joel. He’s gonna help you.” She whispers in your ear. You let Joel get you to your feet. You can only hop on one foot. You stumble and trip but Joel stays glued to your side.

Joel has your pants off inspecting all of the wounds you received or inflicted upon yourself today. The worse one by far is where Ellie stabbed you in the calf. She sank it fully into you. She apologized so much as you guys made your way back to the house you had been sleeping at. Ellie and Joel packed up everything while you sat in the living room staring at the two dead men. Joel moved you three to another house two streets over. Ellie was in a bedroom down the hall asleep already.

“How’d you get these?” He asked as he cleaned the cuts and slashes on your stomach. You chuckle at him and lean against the headboard. 

“Did it myself when that asshole was on top of me.” You laugh quietly. “Thought I could cut him but I ended up just cutting myself.” Joel smirks at you and then frowns. He’s got something he wants to say but he’s stopping himself. You let him bandage you, without pushing it. Why push something you don’t really want to hear. 

“Sorry for bringing you out here.” Joel finally sighs. “I never should have asked you to come.”

There it is. 

Not exactly what you wanted to hear but it’s fine. A thank you would have been nice. A good job. You did good, girl. He gives you nothing. You chew at the inside of your lip and think about Ellie. What will happen to her if Joel says you should go back to Jackson? She dies. That’s what happens and you’ll never forgive yourself. 

“I’m staying. Whether you like it or not. And in the morning I’m telling her what those doctors might do to her. I’ll do that even if you try to stop me.” You look at him very seriously as he pressed gauze to your stomach. He starts to tape it to your skin as you speak to him. “I don’t care. I’m gonna tell her. She deserves to know.” You continue to watch him as his hand slide down your stomach to your exposed mound. 

“Oh I’m not going to try to stop you.” Joel whispers. “I’ll let her decide. You have a point. Spread’em.” He tilts his head to one side as his fingers slide down into your folds. You obey mindlessly, spreading your legs slowly. “You can be the good girl…this time.” He smirks at you and slides the two fingers into your entrance. Your jaw drops open as he curls them upwards. “Yeah, you’re a good girl.” He whispers. “C’mere crybaby.” 

You lean forward and Joel meets you halfway, exhaling loudly against you as your lips touch. It’s perfect. His tongue slipping into your mouth while he furls and unfurls his fingers against your g-spot slowly. One of your hands wraps around the back of his neck, holding you up to him as he leans between your legs. You part your lips and let his eager tongue start exploring your mouth. How did you go from scolding him and being mad at him while he cleaned and bandaged you, to now letting him get you off with his fingers? 

“When I’m done, you can ride it, if your legs are strong enough.” Joel whispers into your mouth. “I want you to. Wanna see you naked. Touch you.” His tongue slides back into your mouth as his fingers strum against your spot. “Wanna see you come on top of me.” He’s still whispering gruffly into your mouth, speaking around the delight filled gasps of pleasure as he strokes one out with each curl of his fingers.

It would feel so nice to have him inside you. The feeling he’s giving you right now is numbing the pain in your leg. You nod and he kisses you again, long open mouthed kisses that leave you wanting more when he pulls away. 

“You wanna come?” Joel whispers again, moving his fingers quicker inside of you. “I’ll let you. I’d let you do whatever you want tonight for taking such good care of me. For keeping her safe.” He murmurs again. Joel is moving his fingers with such grace inside you. Each movement presses or grazes something inside you that draws a moan from your throat. You hush them, but you don’t hold back. “Yeah, lemme hear you. Little bird, pretty girl, lemme hear you moan.” He’s kissing you as he speaks. You can barely think let alone kiss him back.

It’s building, you can feel it deep in your belly. Your hips start to rock against his hand. Something about the way he’s talking to you is making your head spin. 

“I do wanna come.” You whimper, your feet locking onto the bed, and pushing your hips up into his fingers. You don’t care that your leg is on fire, his fingers feel too fucking good. “Yes. Yes, please don’t stop.” You beg him quietly. You clench your eyes shut and your walls start to tighten around him. “Please please.” It’s said mindlessly because he isn’t stopping, and didn’t have any plans to until you came. 

Thing you don’t know about Joel is, you coming is his favorite thing. It’s why he became so enamored with you after your first meeting. He’s never met anyone who can do what you do. Not come the way you do. The way you gush against him. He had heard stories, from Tommy and other guy friends he had before the outbreak but you’re the first and only one he’s ever been with. Joel loves when you come. 

That feeling; pressure in your belly and in between your legs is about to spill over the edge. You can feel it. You let your head fall back against the pillows again. Your hand falls from the back of Joel’s neck and you grip the sheets below you. Your back arches and your walls clenched tightly. 

“Oh fuck.” You pant. “Oh Joel, yes.” It’s so breathless as he draws the orgasm out of you with his fingers. It’s light behind your eyes and breath hitching in your chest. All the good feelings you could ever have are flowing through you right now and they’re all because of Joel’s fingers. You give him exactly what he’s waiting for as he continues to move his fingers through your orgasm. The gushing. He can watch it from here, see it happen as it splashes out against his palm and wrist. It soaks the blankets below you

“That’s a good girl.” Joel smiles, looking up at your face now. His fingers are still working inside of you. “You wanna sit on it? You want me to fill you up?” Your eyes snap open and Joel’s nodding at you. “I will. I’ll fill that pretty pussy all night long if you want me to.” He’s cooing at you, his fingers finally withdrawing from you. He laps up everything you’ve given him this time. He doesn’t even offer you his fingers like always. 

You watch as he stands up and undoes his belt. His pants fall to the floor and he very carefully crawls over you. This bed is big enough for the both of you. Unlike the mattress on the floor in the basement at the other house. Joel sits up in bed and pulls his shirt off carefully. You see his bandages. He’s bled through them but not terribly. Joel turns to you and takes your shirt off after you’ve sat up. Now, besides your bandages you’re both naked. 

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Joel pants out in between more long kisses. Tongues swirling as he gropes your breasts with his strong, calloused carpenter hands. “Such a pretty little crybaby. C’mere. Come sit on it. I gotta be inside you.” He breaks the kiss and lays back on the bed.

You’re unsure how you’re going to do this. Now that you’re not orgasming, your leg does hurt again. 

“I’m not gonna be able to do anything up here. I’ll just be scooching. I can’t bounce!” You look down at him as you test sitting on your knees.

“ Crybaby . Scooch on me. I’ll come. You’ll come. We’ll sleep.” Joel’s hands are on your waist as you straddle him.  He moves one hand between you two and keeps himself standing straight up as you move the head of him across your slit, trying to line him up with your entrance. Joel’s never let you be on top before. You’ve never really had time like this. You feel him slip inside of you and you sink down into his lap. You can watch how his jaw falls open a little this time. You feel so full like this. You relax and sink down a little further and now you’re both staring at each other, slackjaw. 

“Fuck. Good girl.” Joel places his hand back on your waist and starts to slide you back and forth. “Yeah, just like that.” His head falls back as you lean back, supporting yourself on his thighs. “Move those hips, little bird.” He coos at you as you begin to roll your hips back and forth against him. “The best sluttiest fuckin’ pussy I ever had.” 

You close your eyes, a mixture of pleasure and pain as you feel him move against every inch of your pussy. 

“Jesus Christ.” You whisper, your own head falls back as he pushes his hips up into yours. “Yes. Do it again.” You hold yourself still and quickly, Joel hammers himself into you from below. Nothing comes out of your open mouth, you’re just frozen on top of him. He sheathes himself to the hilt every time and groans loudly. 

“Fuck little bird, that pussy is so fucking perfect.” He’s panting softly after exerting himself. You go back to rocking yourself against him, hips gyrating slowly. “You want it, really? Come inside that slutty little cunt?” You nod, everything he’s saying sounds so fucking good. You’re close to another orgasm and he can tell the way you’re clenching down around him with your pussy. 

Joel’s ready, he wants to feel you come on him first before he lets go. But with this angle he can see himself sliding in and out of you, your slickness is coating both of you and it’s making his legs shake softly. 

“P-please, lil crybaby.” Joel moans softly. “Lemme fill you up.” He’s begging you. He’s never done that. You don't know if he’s ever said the word please to you either but you’ll think about it later. You’re going to cum again. Joel grips your waist tighter as he feels you getting ready. Your hands grip his thighs tighter, your walls clench around him. “Oh fuck. Yes. Come on me, baby. Come on this cock you filthy little slut.” Joel growls as he begins pumping inside of you. You feel it with every throb of his cock. 

It sends you over the edge, knowing he’s coming inside you. You come again, all over his lower stomach as you sink yourself down into his lap and ungulate your hips back and forth, his cock rubs and grazes across your g-spot with each movement. It makes you shiver and moan his name softly as your hands move up to his chest.

Joel’s hands are still on your hips, holding you down onto him as he gives you the last of him. You know he’s finished when he shudders underneath you and lets his head fully relax on the pillows below him. 

“Joel.” You whisper down to him in his post-coital bliss. He responds with a throaty humm, his eyes closed. “I’m stuck up here.” Sure are. Your leg is on fire and you’re cramped up and don’t know how to get down. Joel opens one eye and smirks. He holds you firmly under the breasts and sits up carefully due to his own wound and gives you a small kiss before he lifts you so you can swing one leg over him. 

“Crybaby.” Joel teases you as you crawl onto the bed. It’s so cold but you know he’ll be warm and he’s laid out his sleeping bag on top of the bed and now he’s zipping yours together with his to make one big sleeper. You smirk and snuggle in as he gets behind you. “My crybaby. Don’t you forget it. Forget about going back to Jackson. You stay here. With me. Got it? Don’t say dumb shit.” He’s growling as you fall asleep.

[sixhours]

bright spots - chapter 12

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Teen Words: 3.6k Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel & Ellie, Joel Miller, Ellie Williams, Marlene, canon divergence, hospital AU, medical stuff, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, canon-typical violence, vomiting, implied rape/sexual assault, I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

Joel

It’s been three months since they arrived at the hospital.

They’re hanging out in their room when a distant alarm sounds outside. Joel barely hears it at first, registers it as a ringing, whining noise, almost able to ignore it until Ellie looks up from her magazine, where she’s been doodling on the pictures with her crayons. 

“Did you hear that?”

“Uh huh…”

They go to the window but there’s nothing to see. A couple of Fireflies jog across the street in the distance, presumably moving toward the source of the sound, but then it goes quiet again.

He’s almost put it out of his mind when another alarm goes off, this one closer and clearer. 

Unnerved, Joel sticks his head out of their room where one of the nurses–the young one–is working at the desk.

“What’s goin’ on?”

“I don’t know–”

“Where’s Marlene?”

“I don’t–”

“You don’t know,” he mutters. “Right.”

“Joel?” Ellie pokes her head out of their room. “What’s going on? They’re ”

“I don’t–”

“I’m here,” Marlene says, boots echoing down the hall. “We’ve been tracking a horde on the western side of the city.”

“How big?” Joel asks.

She frowns. “Big enough that we’re keeping an eye on it. We’re trying to redirect them.”

“Is that what those sounds are outside?” Ellie asks.

She nods. “We try to draw their attention with the sirens.”

“That work?” Joel asks, folding his arms.

Marlene shifts her gaze to the side. “Sometimes.”

“What does that mean for us?”

“For you? Nothing,” she says. “We’ve shored up the guards on the first and second levels and we’re moving the labs up to the fifth floor. Just a precaution.”

 “I want a weapon,” Joel says.

Marlene scoffs. “Right.”

“I’m serious.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Joel–”

“You want me to protect her, I can’t do that with my bare fuckin’ hands, Marlene.”

“We have plenty of soldiers holding the perimeter. They won’t make it this far.”

“An’ if they do? You got a plan B?”

“They won’t.”

He snorts. “So we’re fucked.”

“I have it under control,” she says, jaw tight.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” he mutters. “But I’m not gonna let you leave us defenseless–”

“You won’t be,” she snaps. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to deal with this. Stay put.”

“Like we can go anywhere else,” Ellie mutters. When Marlene is out of sight, she looks up at him. “What do we do?”

“Pack your bag, keep it close,” he says. “Just in case we need to run.”

~*~

All the tests are put on hold while they move the labs to higher ground. The elevator at the end of the hall dings constantly throughout the afternoon, running loads of equipment up and people down…until suddenly the lights go out.

“Just a precaution,” the nurse murmurs as she delivers an extra lantern to their room. “The less noise, the better.”

That night, without the hum of the building around them, the wail of the sirens is even harder to ignore, and it’s soon followed by the faint popping sounds of automatic gunfire.

Joel doesn’t sleep much to begin with, so he’s aware of Ellie’s tossing and turning on the other side of the curtain as he sits up that night with his book. He finally gives up and puts it aside. He keeps losing his place, anticipating the next alarm, ready to…well, he doesn’t know what the hell they’ll do if the horde makes it out this far, and no one will tell him anything. It feels like fighting a battle blindfolded with both hands behind his back.

And then a particularly loud siren goes off, and he hears Ellie’s strangled gasp of surprise. It reminds him of Sarah when she was little, woken from sleep by a sharp thunderclap, the pad of anxious footsteps in the hall and the creak of his bedroom door opening, a warm six-year-old tucked against his side for the remainder of the night.

As if on cue, Ellie appears at the edge of the curtain divider, eyes wide.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks.

“Nope,” she says, trying to sound nonchalant, but her voice wavers the slightest bit.

He shifts over and pats the mattress beside him, pulling back the covers. “C’mon.”

“They’re so fucking loud,” she grumbles, climbing into bed. “Every time I start to fall asleep another one goes off.”

“Want me to read some more?” he asks. “Might drown ‘em out.”

“No…thanks, though,” she sighs. He cups her head with one hand, absently stroking her hair.

“Do you think they’ll make it this far?” she whispers after a while.

“I dunno, kid,” he murmurs. “Probably not…”

“What if they do?”

He’s been thinking about it ever since the power was cut. Marlene might not be willing to share her plans for surviving a swarm, but that wouldn’t stop him from making some of his own.

“We go to the roof,” he says, trying to project an air of confidence, hoping to put her at ease. “Not likely to be multiple access points up there, easier to get out of reach. Swarms don’t usually stay in one place long…they’ll move on.”

She gives him a look that suggests he’s doing a piss-poor job of reassuring her, but then nods tightly in agreement. “The roof. Got it.”

Ellie

She’s woken by the sound of boots and yelling in the hall. She finally fell asleep curled up against Joel’s outstretched legs, forehead pressed to his thigh. She feels slightly embarrassed at crawling into bed with him like a fucking baby, but she’s too keyed up to give herself shit about it right now.

“What’s goin’ on?”

“The horde moved overnight.”

Joel’s deep voice carries from the hallway mixed with the voices of others; guards, probably.

“Closer?”

“Shit. Where’s Marlene?”

She flings back the covers, bare feet padding across the cool tile floor. It’s hot already, muggy and stuffy in their room; the central air must still be off.

“What’s happening?” Ellie pulls back the curtain, rubbing at her face with her sleeve.

“Nothin’,” Joel says absently. “Still got your bag packed?”

She nods, gestures to the pack on her bed.

“Good. Keep it close.”

She does.

The nurses don’t bring food like they normally would, not that Ellie could eat right now, anyway. A sense of doom hangs heavy in the air, and the normally bustling halls are quiet. She thinks this is what people mean when they talk about the calm before the storm.

Ellie spends the morning perched on the window seat with her pack in her lap and watches the limited view of the city outside. She sees Fireflies occasionally running, hears the alarms still going off at regular intervals. Meanwhile Joel is in the bathroom making a lot of fucking noise. She abandons her window seat and goes to the door, watching as he draws his hand along the edges of the shower, the exposed pipe underneath the sink.

“What are you doing?”

Now he’s examining the mirror, pulling at the corners, but it’s stuck tight to the wall. “Tryin’ to find a weapon.”

She looks at him skeptically. “Ooookay.”

Obviously the dude’s losing it. She goes back to the window and tries not to think about how fucking weird Joel is acting right now.

The first explosion goes off around ten, a distant roar as the building trembles from the aftershocks.

“Joel! What the hell was that?”

“Shit,” Joel whispers. “They’re bombing…”

She glances at him. “Is that a good thing?”

“No…it means they’re runnin’ outta options.”

She grips her pack tighter and goes to the window again. They can’t see anything, and when they attempt to go into the hall to see if the other rooms have a better vantage point, the guards block their way.

“Orders are to keep you secure until we’re told otherwise,” one of them says.

“Assholes,” Ellie hisses.

“C’mon, kid. Let’s…play a game or somethin’,” Joel mutters, hand to her shoulder, trying to pull her back into the room.

She wheels on him. “I don’t wanna get eaten alive playing fucking Boggle!”

“You’re not gettin’ eaten alive if I have anythin’ to say about it. Now let’s go.”

“Joel, this is so fucking stupid. We’re sitting here doing fuck-all and you’re looking for weapons in the fucking bathroom.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m right there with you, kid, but pissin’ off the guards isn’t gonna help.”

“So what the fuck do we do ?”

“I don’t–”

Another explosion cuts him off. This one rattles the glass in the windows and sends them both to the floor.

“Fuck!” Ellie groans, hands pressed to the tile, still feeling the reverberations as the sound fades to a distant rumble.

“That was closer,” Joel mutters.

Ellie scrambles to her feet, headed for the window.

“Ellie!” he hisses. “Don’t–”

She ignores him, pressing her face to the glass.

“Whoa…oh shit, Joel! Look…”

A rough hand yanks her unceremoniously back from the thin pane as he growls at her under his breath, kid, what the hell are you thinkin’ . But she can’t take her eyes off the horizon, a sickening realization swirling in her stomach as it moves and ripples.

“Joel, out there! Look!”

They squint into the midday sun. Up the street in the far distance there’s a rippling in the air like heat off a hot pavement, a mass of moving bodies.

It would be really fucking cool if it weren’t headed right for them.

“They’re here,” she whispers, mouth suddenly dry.

There’s a flurry of activity from that point on. They watch the horde move in a kind of trance, watch the mass of infected move like a wave through the surrounding streets. Windows in the nearby buildings shatter as the massive group flails against them, the pressure of the crowd enough to fully collapse the least stable structures, leaving the others torn apart and covered with fungal gore. Their groans and shrieks become a dull roar in the background, and Ellie can feel the collective force of the impact when they reach the hospital campus, the floor beneath them trembling like the aftershocks of the last bomb. Soon there’s the shattering of glass and shouting from below, gunfire and barked orders to retreat.

The door to their room opens and the two guards from before have been joined by two more. She recognizes Lee.

“We’re going to the roof,” she says, eyes flinty in the dim light of the darkened hallway. “You’ll be safer up there. Let’s move.”

Joel gets his pack, hefts it to his shoulder, and indicates for Ellie to do the same. Before they cross the threshold, her hand shoots out and grabs for him, palm sweaty, half expecting him to swat her away, but he only looks at her, surprised, before taking her fingers in his and holding tight.

“It’ll be alright,” he whispers, and she nods, not sure if she believes him, but it’s not like she has much choice.

They’re led up the stairwell flanked on all sides by Fireflies. Sounds travel up from the floors below, the narrow column of the stairwell creating an echo chamber of terror. There’s shouting, panicked screams, and the incessant din of the infected underneath. Ellie keeps her grip on Joel’s hand iron-tight all the way to the roof.

Outside, the sounds are deafening. Even six stories up, Ellie has to clap her hands over her ears to drown it out. The smell wafting up from below is all rot and mildew, cloying and rank. They’re led to a small alcove and ordered to sit on the ground, back to a wall, the four Fireflies fanned out in front of them.

Worse than the groans of the infected are the human screams that ring out, begging and pleading each time the horde claims a new victim. Now Joel’s hands are around her ears, too, and she thinks she might be crying, but soon her tears are mixed with sweat and she can’t tell them apart.

They stay that way for what feels like hours, out in the open with no protection from the blazing summer sun until Joel pulls a shirt out of his pack and drapes it over their heads. One of the Fireflies leaves and comes back with a jug of water. Joel uses some of it to wet their clothes and they save the rest for drinking. The dark surface of the roof radiates the heat upwards until it feels like they’re baking from all sides. She’s sweating buckets, but Ellie stays pressed to Joel’s side and his arm stays firmly fixed over her shoulders.

Occasionally the walkies on the guards’ belts crackle, requesting backup, calling out the horde’s movements. Something about outposts being overrun, the detonator on one of the bombs going off too soon and taking out a crew of Fireflies. Ellie strains to hear but between the ringing in her ears and the sounds of the infected, it’s mostly garbled static.

At some point, an explosion goes off directly beneath them, and it feels like the whole building might shake apart and bring them down with it. Every loud noise, every vibration makes Ellie twitch and she thinks she can smell her own fear over the sweat and the fungal rot and the baking asphalt around them.

“It’ll pass,” Joel says softly, in a tone that tries to be reassuring, but his expression gives him away. He’s trying not to look terrified for her sake and he’s fucking terrible at it.

The sun has dipped below the horizon by the time the horde begins to disperse, to undulate its way beyond the hospital and out into the rest of the city, the hivemind having determined there’s nothing left in the vicinity of the hospital to ravage. It’s been dark for hours when they’re led back down to the fourth-floor wing, trudging on numb legs. She expects to find the place ransacked or at least changed in some way, but it’s just as dull and sterile as they’d left it. There’s still no power; without central air, the wing is stifling and stale, but it’s better than full sunlight. Her whole body aches from holding itself stiff and crunched up under the damp shirt, her ears still ringing with the phantom sounds of the horde.

She jumps when Joel puts a careful hand on her shoulder.

He urges her toward the bathroom to clean up, and she goes, still feeling the thrum of adrenaline moving like cordyceps under her skin. When she looks down, she’s surprised to see her hands are shaking. Everything feels distant like she’s moving through a fog, waking up from one of her nightmares.

She peels off her sweaty, sodden layers so she can sponge the worst of the grime off with water from another jug. She still feels gross, but the clean hospital scrubs are cool against her overheated skin.

Without thinking, she wordlessly climbs into Joel’s cot and burrows under the covers. She’s still there when he comes back from the bathroom dressed in blue scrubs and he doesn’t protest to find her. He just takes a seat beside her and puts a hand on her back, rubbing up and down like he did when she was sick.

It’s over. They’re safe. But she can’t convince her heart. It throbs in her chest, echoes in her ears, makes it hard to breathe. A harsh sob works its way out of her throat before she can smother it.

“Ellie?”

She shakes her head, not sure what she’s rejecting. It’s so stupid, she’s been through so much worse than a hot day for fuck’s sake. But something inside her is unraveling at a frightening pace and she can’t stop it; can’t stop her shoulders from shaking or the sobs from coming out.

“Hey…talk to me, baby. You hurt?”

She shakes her head again.

He’s leaning over her, probably looking for cuts or bruises or something to indicate why she’s suddenly turned into a big fucking baby. She squeezes her eyes shut so she doesn’t have to see him, doesn’t have to see the disappointment and worry and all the ways she’s become a burden–

A soft grunt and the cot dips more fully under his weight as he lays down.

“C’mere.”

There’s only a moment’s hesitation before she throws an arm around his waist and digs in with a sob, muffling it in his stomach. He smells like Joel even under the cheap scrubs, like sweat and something woodsy and warm. She’s shaking now, shivering even though it’s like a hundred degrees, like she’s not already buried in blankets.

“S-so…s-s-stupid,” she hisses between her teeth, hiccuping. “I-I can’t-c-c-can’t s-stop.”

“S’alright,” he whispers. “I know. Gotta release the stress somehow. You’re okay.”

He’s rubbing her back again, the same easy rhythm up and down, up and down.

“S-s-stupid,” she spits. “I-I-I-”

“Shhh,” he whispers against the top of her head. “Just let it out. I gotcha.”

So she does. She cries and shivers and she’s probably getting snot on Joel’s shirt but he doesn’t move, doesn’t push her away, just brushes her hair out of her face when it gets sweaty and talks to her softly.

The panic attack or whatever the fuck it is lasts for hours. By the time she’s done, there’s weak light coming through the window and her whole body aches like she’s been forced to run endless laps even though she’s barely moved. Her eyes are raw, her nose stings, her chest burns. The door to their room opens and Joel shifts slightly; she’s too exhausted to make out what he’s saying or who he’s speaking to.

The door closes. His voice is rough and his hand cups the back of her neck, carefully tracing the ridge at the base of her skull with his fingers. There’s something hypnotic about the motion and she misses his next words until his fingers stop moving and he asks again.

“Ellie? You hearin’ me, baby?”

She nods once.

“You want somethin’ to eat?”

Oh. Right. They haven’t eaten since yesterday morning, but the thought of food turns her stomach. She’s still up on that blazing-hot roof, the smell of infected lingering in her sinuses, the back of her throat. She grips at his shirt, burrows closer, doesn’t answer.

“How ‘bout some water, huh?” he nudges her.

She spent most of yesterday sweating and the rest of the night sobbing her stupid eyes out. Her mouth tastes like ass, tongue feels like sandpaper, throat hurts like she’s swallowed rusty nails. She manages a soft grunt.

“Gonna take that as a yes,” he mutters. “C’mon, sit up here.”

Reluctantly, she lets him pull away, face burning with embarrassment as she does as he asks. He produces a cup of water with a straw and she takes it readily.

“Little sips,” he murmurs. “Don’t wanna upset your stomach.”

Too late for that, she thinks miserably. But the water helps soothe her raw throat. When she finally works up the nerve to meet his eyes, she finds them bloodshot and dark-rimmed; he looks about as good as she feels.

“Power’s back,” he says as if reading her mind. “Shower might help.”

She doesn't want to leave him, but she’s not ready to admit that. And the thought of running water, a real shower with soap, suddenly sounds too good to pass up. She wipes at her face and nods, and his face softens, some of the worry lines smoothing out.

He’s right, too, as usual. Clean for the first time in hours and dressed in fresh scrubs, she feels much more calm. And really fucking exhausted, like she could sleep for three days. She comes out of the bathroom and Joel looks up, still red-eyed and mussed.

“Want me to braid your hair?” he offers.

She opens her mouth to say no because she doesn’t need him to braid her stupid hair. But then she remembers the anxious worry in his face, the way he’d stayed up with her all night. Again. Decides she’s saying yes for him, not for her.

She shrugs. “Sure.”

He’s faster at it this time. And it’s kind of nice to have it out of her face when it’s wet. He squeezes her shoulder when he’s done. “All set.”

She curls up in her bed, feels the pull of sleep almost immediately. She hears Joel go into the bathroom, hears the water run for a while. She’s still drifting when he comes out dressed in his usual clothes, rubbing at his hair with a towel until it sticks up in funny spikes. She hears him go to his cot, the creak as he sits down, and some lingering anxiety bubbles up in her chest. It’s so fucking stupid, but….

She sits up.

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I…can I, uh…”

He tilts his head, then seems to catch her meaning without her having to ask. “Sure, kiddo.”

His cot is smaller than her bed, not nearly as comfortable, but as soon as she crawls in she feels the tightness in her chest loosen, even more when he lies down, too. She scoots closer and wraps her arm around his waist, hears a surprised murmured oh under his breath. He’s wearing a flannel, one of the ones he wore on the road, softer than any of the cheap scrubs, and she sinks into it.

“Think you can sleep now?” he whispers when she’s firmly tucked under his chin. She hears the rumble of his voice in his chest like a purr and nods, because she’s almost asleep already. 

Her last waking sensation is a faint pressure at the top of her head–so unfamiliar, so foreign, she doesn’t even recognize it as a kiss.

[toriwakes]

Pretty Boy 187 [s.r x reader]

summary: reader finds out that her new found tumblr crush is none other than her coworker.

content warnings: she/her!reader, mentions of alcohol

a/n: hi!! i’m so happy to be posting again. i’m really proud of this, so i hope you all like it! as always, let me know if you have any requests!

convincing spencer to get tumblr was tough. not only did he hate technology, he didn’t like social media either.

“it’s gonna be fun! c’mon, please?” you’ve been bugging him about it for about a week. “spencer, please just download it. if i have to hear (y/n) whine again i’m gonna loose it.” said derek, plopping is papers on his desk. “you like it when i whine.” you teased, causing derek to flash you a toothy grin. “alright! jeez.” you clapped of joy and jumped to help spencer, but he stopped you. “no way, i’m not letting you follow me.” he kept his phone facing away from you, your arms dropping to your sides in defeat. “fine. i’ll find your account somehow.” “we’ll see about that.”

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

over the next few weeks you acquired a few new followers, only one catching your eye. ‘prettyboy187’ followed you on a quiet friday afternoon. the username caught your attention at first, but when you checked is profile? that’s when you were hooked. half of his pictures were just aesthetically pleasing: outside of his window, his extreme sugary coffee, some books. but others...

it was an excerpt of a poem and his hand was holding back the pages. you doubt he meant to capture it so beautifully. just his hand was godly. you wasted no time dming him.

hey :)

how desperate did you look right now? he followed you barley an hour ago. you cant stop staring at that picture.

hello

he didn’t sound happy. well, he didn’t “sound” anything, you guys were texting. but you could feel his tone through the screen. where you overthinking this too much? you shuffled into your bed, wrapping yourself in the covers as you pondered what to say next.

i just wanted to tell you i really like your account. are you a photographer or something?

no, i’m not. my friend convinced me to get this app and i noticed people post aesthetically pleasing photos on here, so i’m just doing the same haha.

ok, well you don’t post nice pictures. at least, not that type. maybe you’d post a picture of the snow or your bed, but every now and then you’d bless the feed with a picture of you in a swimsuit. it was more for opinions on the suit than anything else.

ohh. maybe i should start doing that.

how do you mean?

oh.

that sounded like a very judge-y ‘oh’. your eyes scanned your own profile to see what he could’ve hated. there was you in your favorite red swimsuit, a picture of your computer with netflix on the screen. the rest of the posts were of the same type, so you couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was.

what is it?

no, nothing. your recent picture. that’s a nice swim suit.

oh. that’s what he meant. you practically threw your phone across the room and squealed. thank the universe that he didn’t dislike you already. you shot him another text. just like that, you had your first ever tumblr crush.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“what’s up with you pretty girl?” derek asked when you walked into work. you supposed you still had the blush on your face when pretty boy wished you a good morning and day at work. “nothing!” you said, obviously it being something. as if on cue, spencer walked in behind you also giddy. “what, you’re both sweet on someone now?” when neither of you responded, derek laughed. “what?” emily inquired, taking her seat. “spencer and (y/n) both have a crush.” emily’s jaw dropped. “spencer has a crush?” everyone broke into laughter, jj overhearing and almost dropping her files. “why is that so surprising?” spencer defended himself, derek giving him a ‘you know the answer to that’ look. “well?what’re their names?” he pushed. you bit your tongue. you didn’t even know his name. yikes. “let’s start.” aaron called. saved by hotch. thank goodness. “this ain’t over.” derek warned the two of you. yes it was. by the end of the day morgan would’ve forgotten all about this.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you were right like always. morgan didn’t ask anymore about it, instead offering to get drinks. you turned it down, desperate to get home and text your boy. and you did, only at 11pm.

hey, sorry it’s so late. had a long day at work.

no worries, so did i. listen, i have a question.

this boy only sent messages that would make your heart drop. with a pacing heart, you texted back.

yes?

his ‘online’ button flashes on. then he was typing. then he was deleting. it seemed like hours before he responded.

what’s your name?

godamnit. you didnt have a display name because you didn’t want anyone you knew finding your account. what’s a fake name you can use? maybe...

lila.

why did you pick spencer’s ex’s name? you don’t know. you remember being insanely jealous of her because she got to kiss spencer in the pool while you were posted outside. your crush on spencer was still very much alive, but not as much as it was with pretty boy.

that’s a pretty name.

thanks. now you have to tell me yours ;)

you’ve never been so nervous for a text conversation in your life. for some reason, the back of your head wondered what it would be like if you were texting spencer. it was just a thought, though. spencer would never say half of this stuff.

call me morgan.

oh NO. please no... you stalked his profile again, terrified that you’ve been flirting with your coworker this past month. alas, your eye caught another body picture- this time of his arm. no tattoos like derek. not to mention he was much smaller. not that that’s a bad thing. you don’t think you’d ever be able to handle derek...

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you arrived at work yet again with a blushing face. “come on, you can’t keep hiding this from me! tell me something at least!” derek whined. “okay! his name is morgan. and i know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not you, my boy is much more attractive.” derek’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape in fake offense. “that’s damn near impossible. ain’t nobody prettier than derek morgan.” spencer walked in now, again with a dorky smile on his face. “spencer. (y/n)’s got a crush on-“ you jumped to cover his mouth, the sound of your crush’s name muffled. “what- hey! no fair! derek gets to know but i cant?” spencer whined. derek held his hands up and sat back down, not wanting to get you mad. smart. “three can’t keep a secret.” was all you said before sitting down to clean your workspace.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the new highlight of your day was texting morgan. you learned several things about him; he has a job he can’t specify for personal reasons, he really wants a dog but he feels like animals hate him. you told him about your cat joel, and how they could absolutely love him. he appreciated that.

if i tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?

depends. are you about to tell me you’re a serial killer?

no!

you giggled to yourself at your humor.

i wanna meet you.

you promised not to freak out, but you were freaking out. it was just now setting in that you didn’t know this man at all. where he lived, how old he was, even what he looked like. you took a few deep breaths and asked a question.

where do you live?

quantico virginia.

no hesitation on that one. he lived in the same town as you? you didn’t know how you’d be able to turn this down...

shit, me too. let’s meet up then.

i’ll send you a good place to get drinks.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“every time you walk in here, you’re blushing. now so are your ears.” you beamed at derek, sitting at your desk before spilling. “i’m gonna meet him.” “wait what? are you sure that’s safe?” you rolled your eyes. “i’m an fbi agent. i’m not scared of a little danger.” you playfully winked and derek blew out a huff of air. “if anything happens, you know you can call me.” you pouted at your friend and nodded, appreciating his concern. spencer was spinning in his seat. “you happy too?” you asked. he only nodded and didn’t elaborate. you we’re going to press on, but hotch called you all in and you lost your chance.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

on rare occasions, the bau got tough cases with very happy endings. this was one of those cases. the plane ride home was extremely joyous and derek offered to get drinks again. this time, everyone accepted (all except hotch). you texted morgan telling him you were going out tonight and you wouldn’t be back till late. you laughed to yourself. it was like he was your boyfriend.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the night was young and you were fairly tipsy. ok that’s generous, you were drunk. you were spending most of your time with penelope and it took you a minute to remember spencer. “ohmygosh! spence!” he was startled at your presence but he gave you that flat mouthed smile of his. “how are you! you’re my favorite scorpio.” you nodded as you said it, as if trying to convince him it was true. “thanks? i’m good. you’re drunk.” he pointed out. “no shit. hey!!! you never showed me your tumblr user! you gotta show me that girl you like, bet you she’s really sexy.” you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, whipping out your phone and snapping a picture with spencer. “what are you doing?” he asked, watching you type. “posting this on tumblr! i want everyone to know you’re my favorite in the world.” he wanted to ask favorite what, but a ping on his phone distracted him. lila posted. he smiled and checked her page.

holy fuck.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“(y/n)?” he asked, not looking away from his phone. “yess?” you responded. “what’s your tumblr?” what is your tumblr? “uhhh..i don’t know, check.” you tossed him your open phone, and his eyes only grew wider. “you’re lila?” the words rang through your ears like a siren. “what?” the word was breathy, you couldn’t add stability to what you said. spencer showed you his phone, ‘prettyboy187’ on the screen. “you’re morgan?” still no confidence in your voice whatsoever. your feelings were supposed to change, you weren’t supposed to like that morgan was spencer. but they didn’t. you didn’t even think about the fact he saw your swimsuit photos. you loved that morgan was spencer, and you still wanted to see him on the weekend. “are you mad?” you asked, not being able to stop yourself from sipping from your glass. “no. should i be?” you smiled. “no. do you still wanna meet up this weekend?” “yes. but i don’t wanna get drinks.” he wasn’t even drinking, why is he complaining. “where should we go then?” “my house.”

[paintingcrimsons]

Do I wanna know?

A/N: So this is the part 2 to the fic, Slow Down. This took me absolutely forever to write but I wanted it to be even better than the first one. Of course if you have any more requests for Ellie, be sure to let me know and I’ll add it to my list!

Pairing: Ellie Williams x F!Reader

Warnings: Kinda public (you’ll see), vibrators, teasing, fingering, swearing, Dom Ellie, Sub Reader, knife play, blood, edging, choking, hardcore PWP of course, probably OOC Ellie idk. 

It’s been three weeks. 

Three fucking weeks.

Anyone around you could tell you were agitated, the feeling moving off of you in waves as you walked down the street with your hands shoved in the pockets of your jacket. Maybe three weeks wasn’t that bad for others, and you wouldn’t mind as much if Ellie wasn’t teasing you as much as she did. Whenever you were in public, her hands wandered, pressing, moving, circling...

And then she would suddenly stop. Her hand would move away from you and she would act as if she didn’t do anything. That being said, it wasn’t like you could use that pent up tension against her when you were alone since she would always claim she was tired. 

Now here you were, in front of her door and ready to confront her. With your hand raised you paused for a moment, thinking about what you were going to say. Stop fucking stalling Y/N, you thought to yourself, shaking your head before banging your hand on the door. 

You waited, hearing a small bang before then listening to Ellie curse to herself as there was shuffling from the other side of the door. The lock was then opened with a click when you saw your girlfriend on the other side. Her eyes widened slightly when she realised it was you as she shuffled her body, moving forward so that she was leaning against the doorway. 

“Hey babe, what are you doing here?” She asked, one of her hands rubbing the back of her neck. You huffed, knowing that she was up to something by how sketchy she was acting. 

“We need to talk.” 

“Right now? Because I’m in the middle of something-” She started before you pushed past her to see what she was up to. You paused looking at all the different items on the bed. 

Rope...tape...underwear? 

“Okay,” You paused, turning to look over at her as she closed the door with a sheepish look on her face. “Now I’m just confused.” 

“I was going to surprise you.” Ellie shrugged, grabbing your hand and pulling you over to the bed. She then gestured towards the underwear, causing you to raise an eyebrow at her before picking up the black lace, your hand then felt something as you looked inside it. 

Oh sweet Jesus.

“You want me to wear this?” You questioned, the look of confusion had now become a look of surprise. 

“You don’t have to, I just thought we could try something different-” Ellie began rambling, one of her hands messing with her fingers as she looked away. You cut her off as you pressed your lips to hers, tossing the underwear back on the bed before placing your hands on the sides of her face gently. 

“Relax,” You giggled as you pulled away, watching as she sighed. “Of course we can, just, tell me what we’re actually doing first.” 

“Okay.” 

                                                         ----------

“Are we really doing this right now?” You asked as you shifted back and forth on your feet nervously. You were surprised that even Ellie was being this bold, especially at such a meeting like this. 

“Can’t back out of it now, babe.” She grinned as you gripped her hand in yours, pulling you up the steps and towards the bar. She opened the door with her free hand, pushing it open as the heat blew in your face from inside. 

You looked around, watching as everyone talked and laughed, drinking all kinds of different drinks. Your eyes then moved towards the group that you were meeting for the night, gesturing to Ellie that they were sat down at one of the larger booths near the corner of the bar. She nodded, both of you walking over and greeting the others. 

There on the left side of the booth sat Maria, Dina and Jesse, who were sat talking happily to one another. You sat down on the right side which was empty, moving towards the end so that Ellie could join you, which she did. 

“We got you these since you both took your time getting here.” Dina teased, pushing forward two glasses of whisky to the both of you. You smiled in thanks as you saw Ellie roll her eyes before grabbing one of the glasses. 

It wasn’t long before you all began to talk about what you had missed. Maria was able to fill you in on what to look out for on your next patrols and then excused herself to stop Tommy from drinking too much. You looked over and locked eyes with Tommy and Joel, waving slightly in greeting as they waved back. 

You had almost forgot what Ellie had planned tonight before you felt it. A vibration. It was low and gentle so that it didn’t cause you too much discomfort but you knew it was only time that it would get worse. You shifted in your seat, gripping your whisky glass tightly in your hand as you tried to focus on one spot on the table.

“Hey, Y/N, are you listening?” Jesse asked, causing you to look up over at him and at the others, noticing that they were all now looking at you. You opened your mouth to answer until you felt the vibrations change, they were stronger this time. “Are you okay?” 

Biting your lip, you tried to suppress a moan as you nodded quickly, picking up your glass and ignoring the slight tremors in your hand as you took a sip. You noticed how Ellie was now watching your reactions, rubbing a hand over her mouth to hide the small smirk that was playing on her lips. 

Jesse and Dina didn’t look convinced at your answer before going back into the conversation about what they had found on one of their patrols. Although you weren’t listening at all this point as all you could think about was the vibrations on your clit, your arousal slowly getting worse and worse as it went on. 

You knew it wouldn’t take you long before you slammed your hands down on the table, causing the three to stop and look at you once more. You panicked slightly your brain trying to think of an excuse as you blurted out the first thing that came to mind. 

“I’m going to throw up.” You spoke quickly, manoeuvring your way past Ellie and out of the booth. You didn’t wait to hear their replies as you pushed your way through the small crowd near the bar and towards Maria who you knew had one of the keys to the private bathrooms off to the side. 

“Do you have the keys to the bathroom?” You rush out to her, shuffling on your feet as you felt the vibrations slow down slightly. 

“Of course...” She unhooked one of the keys from her jeans before passing it to you, concern on her face as she looked over at your dishevelled state. 

You thanked her quickly, snatching it out of her hands before rushing to the corridor off to the side. Your hands trembled as you unlocked the door at the far end, shoving open the door and then slamming it shut, turning the lock as fast as possible. 

You knew it wasn’t hygienic, but it was if your body couldn’t hold it’s own weight as your legs gave way and you collapsed to the floor. Whines that you had held in were quietly coming out of your mouth as the vibrations quickened once more. 

The knock on the door startled you, your whole body jolting up and tensing, your hand covering your mouth to try and conceal the moans you couldn’t hold in. “Y/N? It’s Ellie.” 

That was all you needed to hear as you leaned forward, unlocking the door quickly before your body collapsed against the wall, your chest heaving. You watched as Ellie opened the door quickly, rushing inside before slamming the door and locking it behind her. Her eyes then fell to you as a grin began to form on her face. 

She watched as you trailed one of your hands down your body, unbuttoning your jeans and moving your hand into your underwear. You gasped as your fingers grazed your clit, it was sensitive as you were close, your body jerking at the pleasure running through you. 

“Are you going to come help me?” You panted out as you looked up at her, watching as she bit her lip before moving over towards you. Crouching down, her lips softly kissed your neck, her hand pulling yours out of your underwear before she replaced it with her hand. Her thumb began rubbing your clit in gentle circles, helping you with what the vibrator couldn’t while two of her other fingers slowly pushed inside of you.

You threw your head back at the feeling, your head now leaning against the wall as she began to move her fingers in a familiar motion inside of you. The moans that you once kept hushed were now growing louder and louder as you felt yourself nearer to the edge as your body tried to grind against her fingers. 

“Babe, they’re going to hear you.” Ellie smirked as her lips left your neck, looking down at your dishevelled form, her free hand moving your hair from your face. 

“I don’t care, I’m so close,” you whined as you felt her movements slow down from the steady pace she had before. “Please Ellie, please.”

A chuckle left her lips as her free hand moved to cover your mouth to try and muffle your moans as she began to kiss your jawline gently. Her fingers began to move quicker inside of you while her thumb kept moving a steady pace.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you knew you were close, your body moving again her fingers as one of your hands gripped her hair and the other tried to keep you upright on the floor. With one more fluid movement of Ellie’s hand, you felt yourself clench against her fingers as your orgasm hit you full force, moans of her name muffled by her hand as the pleasure ran through you. Ellie kept her pace up as she helped you prolong your climax before stopping completely as she felt your body go limp.

Heavy pants left your mouth as she removed her hand from your lips, your eyes slowly opening as you felt her fingers pull out of you. She then pulled away, noticing you were watching her as she put the fingers she was using on you into her mouth, tasting you. 

You made a slight groan at the sight as you pushed your body up before slowly buttoning up your jeans. “Don’t tease me like that, you know what that does to me.” You complained as you pulled yourself up from the floor, watching as Ellie started to fix her hair in the mirror after realising how much you pulled at it. 

You sighed as you pulled yourself up, noticing that she was now leaning against the counter, watching you. Before you could say anything else she had pulled you close to her so that your bodies were together, your lips almost touching. “Who says I was finished with you?” She asked as she crashed her lips onto yours, your tongues mixing as you tasted yourself on her. 

Before you could take it further she pulled away, causing you to roll your eyes at her. You knew what she wanted, gesturing your head towards the door causing her to nod in reply.

Her hand went around your waist as you unlocked the door and opened it, both of you walking out of the bathroom. You leaned against Ellie slightly, trying to make it look like you were just sick as Maria walked up to the two of you with a concerned look on her face. 

“Is everything okay?” She asked as you noticed a few others were looking over in confusion or curiosity. 

“I’m going to take her home, she’s not well at all.” Ellie replied as you smiled weakly at Maria. 

“Can you get home alright? I can go and get Joel for you-” 

“No it’s okay. I’ve had to carry her back to Jackson before so this should be a piece of cake.” She replied as you let out a snort at her answer. Maria nodded in acknowledgment as she walked the two of you out the door, bidding you farewell and telling you that you should take the day off tomorrow.

                                                       ---------

The walk back to Ellie’s place was quick as her hand gripped yours tightly, pulling you towards and into her room. She closed the door behind her before making sure that it was locked, in which she then turned to you. Her eyes wandered over your flushed face until they landed on your lips. She smirked as she gripped your hips before pulling you into her body, your hot breaths mingling together. 

You leaned forward towards her neck, placing soft kisses to her neck as your hands trailed down her body. She sighed in appreciation as the grip on your hips tightened slightly before you felt her hand grip your hair, pulling you back so that your head was arched slightly to look up at her. 

“I’m not finished with you yet.” She smiled as you noticed the mischievous glint in her eyes. Her lips crashed onto yours as she guided your body backwards until you both fell onto her bed, her body on top of yours. 

Her hands then hovered over to your shirt, pulling at the hem of it as she moved it up and off of your body, throwing it across the room. Her lips then moved from yours as she gently kissed your jawline, nipping at it every so often. Ellie then pulled away as she moved to straddle you, grinning at you as she pulled up her shirt, leaving her in just her sports bra. 

She then leaned down once more, her arms now supporting herself on either side of your head as she kissed you gently. “I want to try something, but that’s only if you’re okay with it.” She spoke, her body moving off of you to lean forward and grab something from her drawer. 

You sit up slightly, your neck arching slightly to see what she was doing as she moved back towards you, her hand gripping something. She held her hand in front of you before opening it, showing you her switchblade. You raised an eyebrow at the object, waiting for her to say what she even wanted to try with her knife. 

“I was just wondering whether we could try some things with this...” She trailed off awkwardly as her free hand went to rub the back of her neck. You giggled at the action as you leaned forward and pecked her lips, grabbing the knife from her hand before opening it up. 

Before she could react you had pushed her onto the bed, in which you were now straddling her, the knife pressed against her neck but not enough to cut her. “Is this want you want?” You smirked at the shocked look on her face but that soon dropped as she rolled her eyes, her hand gripping your wrist with the knife and pulling it away. 

She moved her body, using her leg to throw you under her while her hand pulled your wrist back slightly, causing you to gasp and let go of the knife. She then grabbed it, doing the same action as you but with slightly more pressure. 

She laughed at your reaction, trailing the knife down your neck and towards your chest. The feeling of the cold, sharp steel against your skin was familiar, but this time it was in a good way rather than the bad kind of feeling from it. 

“Sorry babe, you know who’s in charge.” She grinned as she moved the knife under the strap of your bra, she didn’t speak, but you knew what she was asking as she looked down at you. You nodded, causing her to move the blade swiftly, cutting the strap clean, in which she then moved to the other one, doing the same. 

She then placed the knife down next to you as she sat up, gripping what was left of your bra with both of her hands as she ripped it open, throwing the piece of material away from the two of you. She then gripped the blade with her right hand while her left gripped one of your breasts. 

You gasped at the feeling of her hands on your as her thumb began to move over your nipple. You didn’t notice the feeling of the knife until it was trailing on your stomach, moving slowly up towards your other breast. 

Your hands moved to unbutton Ellie’s jeans, not even bothering to take them off as one of your hands moved under her underwear, your thumb moving over her clit. She jumped at the feeling, her hand slipping as she made slight pressure underneath your breast, cutting you slightly. 

You hissed at the feeling but surprisingly found the pain to be arousing, gripping Ellie’s wrist with the knife before putting it on your neck. She hadn’t noticed the cut that she had made as you felt her grind against your hand, her head thrown back in bliss. 

Your fingers could feel her arousal as your pace quickened on her clit, her body beginning to pant at the building pleasure she was feeling. Your thumb moved at a steady pace in a circular motion as you heard slight moans leave Ellie’s mouth. 

She was close and you knew it as your thumb moved at a quicker pace, although not too quick that it would be uncomfortable for her. “Oh fuck.” She panted out as she reached her climax, gasps and swears leaving her mouth as her body grinded against your thumb to help her through it. 

Ellie tried to catch her breath for a few moments before she looked at you, moving the knife away from your neck, closing it and throwing it on the floor. She then leaned forward, kissing you hard as you felt her tongue on yours. Her hands hastily unbuttoning your jeans as her hand moved into your underwear like you did hers. 

Her body then adjusted herself as she slowly pushed a finger inside of you while her free hand moved to grasp your throat. The pressure on your neck was intoxicating as your body twitched at multiple different feelings of pleasure all at once. 

The feeling of another finger going inside of you caused you to moan at the feeling, your body arching at the feeling as she began to move her fingers slowly inside of you. Her hand that was on your throat would tighten at points but would then loosen, letting you breathe at times and other times the pressure would make it harder. 

Ellie adjusted her hand so that she could add pressure to your clit, her finger grazing over it before doing motions that you were all too familiar with. It was when her fingers from inside of you hit that certain spot that you cried out from the feeling. 

“Shit, Ellie keep going right there.” You whined as you felt her pause, her fingers stopping all movement on you as she leaned forward, your hot and heavy breaths mixing once more. 

“Beg for it.” She ordered, the hand on your neck tightening as you felt your eyes squeeze shut briefly before looking up at her. 

“Please, fucking fuck-” You gasped as her fingers moved once more without giving you any time to prepare yourself for the overwhelming feeling inside of you. 

You knew you were close as your body began to move with Ellie’s fingers and your hands began to grip at her back, your nails digging into her shoulders. You braced yourself when you felt yourself become so close but before you could get off her movements stopped again. Your climax had now stopped causing a groan of frustration to leave your mouth as you let your body handle it if your girlfriend couldn’t do it herself. 

You could hear Ellie tut as the hand on your throat moved so that she was now holding your body down so that you couldn’t grind against her fingers. You cursed as you felt your body stop altogether, your eyes meeting hers as you glared at her. 

“You never begged for it babe.” She said teasingly as she leaned forward and nipped at your ear, moving slightly so that she could place gentle kisses on your jawline as if that could make it better. 

“Fuck you.” You hissed out as your hands moved towards the arm that was holding you down, trying to pull it off of you so that you could at least try to get yourself off even if she wouldn’t. 

“I’m not moving until you ask me nicely.” 

You didn’t say anything in reply as you both watched each other in silence for a moment. It was then you felt the feeling of her fingers move once more, causing a loud gasp to leave your lips as your body was starting to become more sensitive to the feeling. 

The pleasure began to build up once more, all piling up at once at the feeling of her fingers moving in a steady motion inside of you as you gasped out Ellie’s name. Once more you felt yourself almost reach your climax until she stopped once more, making you curse her out. 

“You can come when you stop being so stubborn and give me what I want.” She chuckled darkly, her eyes looking over at your flushed form. 

You felt your body tremble, knowing you were so close and all you needed was that motion of her fingers only a few more times. Squeezing your eyes shut for a moment, you sighed angrily before looking up at her. 

“Fucking hell, Ellie, please.” You groaned out as you felt her fingers twitch inside of you. 

“You can do better than that, Y/N.” 

“Please, I’ll do anything, just keep going,” You moaned out as you felt her move slightly, but not quick enough for you to finally get what you want. “Fuck, I’m begging you, let me come.” 

Not saying anything in reply, she began to move her fingers at a steady pace, her thumb once more moving over your clit as your whines and moans filled the room. Her hand moved at a steady pace as you felt the familiar build up in the pit of your stomach. 

With one fluid movement of her hand, you felt yourself get pushed to the edge, your body twitching from the pleasure and your eyes almost rolling in the back of your head at the overwhelming feeling. You couldn't even say single words as all that came out of your mouth was jumbled sounds and moans of Ellie’s name. 

You slowly came down from your high, heavy pants leaving your mouth as you tried to catch your breath and fathom what had just happened. You opened your eyes at the feeling of Ellie’s fingers pulling out of you, wiping her hand on her jeans before looking over to your chest. 

You frowned at her shocked reaction as her hand hovered over the cut she had made earlier from her knife. ‘Fuck, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She cursed, moving her body off of you as she leaned over the bed, grabbing her bag and digging through it for bandages. 

“Hey,” you spoke gently as you pulled yourself up slightly. “It was an accident.” 

“I knew it was a bad idea.” She ignored you, shaking her head as she moved back over to you, her eyes inspecting how bad the cut was. 

“Ellie,” you gripped her hands, moving them away from you as she looked up at you, guilt overtaking her face. “It was an accident. That and I kind of liked it.” 

You grinned when you saw her face relax slightly at your confession, seeing a small smile appear on her lips. “You did?”

“I don’t think my body has ever reacted like that, so yes, I really liked it.” You giggled as you pulled yourself up to sitting, leaning forward and kissing her lips gently. 

“So, when do I get to top?” You teased her as you pulled away. 

“Fucking never.” 

[layce2015]

The Last of Us Part 2 (Joel Miller x Reader)

What If (y/n) Died pt 4 (Finale)

The Last of Us Part 2 Masterlist

What if pt 1

After getting a boat and making his way to the aquarium through the rain storm, Joel finally made it to the aquarium and started to make his way inside of the building. It took some time but he found a broken window and climbed through it and entered the maze like aquarium. It seemed quite but that didn't stop Joel on letting his guard down, he kept it up as he quietly made his way through.

Eventually, he found what would've been the lobby area of the aquarium and saw Abby standing near the desk, talking into her radio. "Does anyone come in? Hello?" She called out as she tries to get a signal. Joel pulls out his revolver and starts to walk slowly behind her.

"Can you guys hear me? Hello? Jordan? Nora? Leah? Owen? Mel? Anybody?" She calls out in a panic. Then she sighs and sets her radio down. "Damn it." She growls, frustrated, then Joel gets up behind her and places his gun behind her head. "Don't move." He said and Abby's eyes widen at this but she smirks a bit as she recognized his voice.

"Look who finally decided to show up." She sneers and Joel shoves the gun closer to her head. "Shut up. Hands above your head." He growls and she starts to raise her hands, slowly. Abby knew that Joel would come after her but she didn't think he'd come so soon, so this was a bit of a shock to her.

"Here to avenge her?" Abby asked him and Joel starts to cock his gun and shove it harder into her head. Abby chuckles a bit then said. "I should've killed you at that cabin too." 

"You're right. You should have." Joel said. "It should have been me...but you picked her....why?"

"Because you two killed my father at St. Mary's." Abby growls and Joel's eyes widen a bit but he had some notion that this is what it was all about. "I was the one that killed your dad, not her. You should have killed me but you killed her instead." Joel said, tightly, through clenched teeth. "Why her?"

"My dad was important to me. And she was important to you. So I figured...an eye for an eye." Abby said and Joel glares at her. "Only one exception: she had everyone who loves her...you don't." Joel growls and before he could do anything, there was a loud crash off into the distance.

Joel looks towards the noise as Abby, taking the advantage, turns around and knocks the gun out of his hand then punches him. He stumbles back but quick regains composure as she goes to punch him again.

He blocks her blows then the two began to fight a bit. They trade blows to each other until Joel got the upperhand and was able to knock her down to the ground. Then he got on top of her and punched her face repeatedly, breaking her nose and busting her lip, with his fists until he pulls out a shiv and starts to bring down the knife on her chest.

She grabs his arms and does her best to keep the blade from entering into her chest then grapples the shiv out of Joel's hand and used it to stab him in the leg. Joel lets out a pained yell but lets out a scream when she started to twist the blade into his leg.

Then she punched him in the face until she kicked him off of her. Joel falls on his back and holds his bleeding leg as Abby gets up and wipes away the blood from her face. "You stupid old man." She growls as Joel tries to get up but the pain in his leg was preventing him to do it.

Abby goes to grab a pipe nearby and starts to walk towards him. "You killed my friends. We let you live...and you wasted it." She growls as Joel glares at her. "You killed my wife, the mother of my boys." Joel spat. Abby glares at him as he tries to crawl away from her. "And you and that stupid bitch killed my dad." Abby said and Joel looks over to his right and sees his revolver.

He looks at Abby, and is about to grab the gun but then she started to raise the pipe above her head. "I'm gonna enjoy this. You will join her soon." She growls but then a gunshot sounds out, she drops the pipe and holds her left shoulder, which had a bullet wound.

Joel jumps, slightly, then grabs his revolver and shoots Abby in both of her knees. Abby screams in pain as Joel sits up and sees Ellie walking in, holding her gun; Jesse and Tommy come running up behind her. "Joel!" Tommy exclaims as he runs over to his older brother.

Abby screams in pain some more, holding her leg, as Ellie keeps her gun trained on her. "Jesse, come here and help me." Tommy said and he and Jesse help Joel up to his feet. "You fuckin' people." Abby shouts, angrily. Joel glares over at her then starts to walk, or limps, over to her as best as he could.

"Is this...w-what she...wanted? T-to continue this...cycle? What about...your kids, h-huh? What...would t-they...think?" Abby asked Joel, between her gasps of pain, as he goes to pick up the pipe she dropped. He walks over to her and said. "I don't care. You brought this on yourself."

Then he raises the pipe and hits Abby across her face. Ellie gasps as Tommy and Jesse jump slightly at this while Joel kept hitting Abby over and over with the pipe. Each impact the pipe made, Joel saw flashes of (y/n). The good times they had flashed before his eyes, like their date nights, them dancing and laughing at their reception, movie nights with Sarah.

Then moments of them saving each other during their 20 years of surviving, when the two met Ellie and started their cross country journey. Then when he had his ear against (y/n)'s pregnant stomach as she plays with his hair while he feels the baby's kicking, then to where he was in bed looking at (y/n) as she stares up at him with love the night before they went on patrol with Tommy.

Then he remembers the day when she mouthed I love you to him before she died.

He lets out a heartbreaking yell and hits Abby one more time, killing her. He takes some deep breathes as he looks at Abby's bashed in face, which eerily looked like how (y/n)'s face looked. He stares at Abby's body and tosses the pipe aside as he slows down his breathing while Ellie, Jesse and Tommy watch him with worry.

"Joel..." Ellie said, softly, as she walks close to him. A tear runs down Joel's face and he places his hands over his face and starts to cry, silently. Ellie then goes up to him and places her hand on his shoulder, he lowers his hands then looks over at her as she gives a sympathetic look to him and hugs him.

Tommy then goes over to his older brother and hugs him as well, Joel embraced them and just broke down.

2 Weeks Later

The group finally make their way back to Jackson where their families are waiting for them. Jesse's parents hugged him, Maria comes up to Tommy and hugs him and Dina hugs Ellie and Jesse, where she tells him that she found out she is pregnant with his child.

Joel dismounts his horse and started to use this long stick, Ellie found for him, to use as support for his limp. The last two weeks, Joel had been awfully quiet which worried Ellie, Tommy and Jesse.

But then Joel's expression lit up a little when his boys came running towards him and they share a heartwarming hug. "Is it over, Daddy?" Ethan asked Joel as he and his brother look up at their dad. Joel looks between the boys before he speaks for the first time in weeks. "Yeah...it’s over now." He said and the boys hug him again.

16 Years Later

There was a knock on the front door, which startled the older man from his sleep. He takes in a huge breath then lets it out slowly as he gets up from his bed, and grabs the cane that was leaning against his bed table. The gray haired man, with streaks and shades of his natural black hair color, makes his way downstairs as the knocking continues.

"I'm coming." The man hollers. He opens the door and smiles once he sees who was at the door. "Well, look who's here!" He said as a smirk appears on his face. "Hey dad." The young black haired man said, he was about the old man's height and if you'd ask his uncle, he would say that he looked alot like his dad when he was younger.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?" The old man asked and the young man raises a confused eyebrow.

"Uh...dad, remember? We're suppose to go and celebrate J.J.'s birthday at Ellie and Dina's." The young man said and the old man's eyes widen. "Is that today?" He asked, making his son chuckle. "Did the Joel Miller forget about his eldest grandson's sixteenth birthday?" The son asked, teasingly.

"Sorry to disappoint, Ethan, but my memory ain't as good as it used to be. It'll happen to you and you brother." Joel said and Ethan chuckles. "Probably more me than Aiden." He said. "Yeah, Aiden is like his momma. Mind as sharp as a tack." Joel mutters and Ethan smirks a bit. "Well, let me go get changed and I'll be down in a minute." Joel said. "Sure, dad. Everyone's loaded up in the carriage, ready to go. I'll let them know we're waiting for you." Ethan said and Joel starts to make his way to the stairs.

He walks into his room, leans his cane against the closet doorway and flicks through his clothes before grabbing the ones that he liked. After getting dressed, he picks up that old chain with the woman's wedding ring hanging from it, puts it around his neck then picks up his cane and a brand new guitar he made for JJ then makes his way down the stairs.

He walks out of the house and closes the door when Aiden, who looked like his brother only he had (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes, and Ethan come up to their dad. "You need help, dad?" Aiden asked as he comes up next to him. "I'm alright, son." Joel said, appreciatevly, as he looks up at Aiden's (e/c) eyes and smiles. "Okay, just making sure." Aiden said as Joel makes his way down the stairs.

Ever since Abby stabbed him in the leg, Joel had a permanent limp and had to use a cane to get around a bit better. This wound had made Joel retire from patrolling and he had resorted to farming as that was a bit easier for him to get around and kept his mind busy.

Aiden and Ethan pat Joel's shoulders as they make it to the carriage, where he sees Lily, a blonde haired blue eye girl who is Ethan's wife, and Eliza, red hair and green eyes girl who is Aiden's fiancé. "Morning, girls." Joel greets them as Ethan gets up on the back of the carriage. The women greet him back just as the little two year old boy smiled at him.

"Papaw!" He said as he jumps off of Lily's lap and goes over to Joel as Ethan helps his dad up to the carriage. Joel chuckles as he goes to sit down on the bench and the young boy jumps up on him. "Hey, kiddo." Joel chuckles as he picks up the boy and sets him on his lap while he set his cane anf guitar against the bench.

"Boy, you're getting so big." Joel said as his grandson sits on his lap. "Yeah, I wanna be big and strong like you, papaw." The young boy said, making Joel smile then kiss the top of his head. "Well, minus the bad leg." Aiden jokes. "Easy there, Aiden. I might have a bad leg, but I can still whoop your ass." Joel said, warningly, and everyone laughs as Ethan gets to the front of the carriage and urges the horses to go forward.

As the carriage goes through Jackson and then out through the gates, Joel looks over at his family and couldn't believe how his family has grown. Ethan and Lily had meet when Ethan was about fifteen or sixteen and they had hit it off and fell in love. Then when Ethan turned eighteen, he asked Lily to marry him and they tied the knot a couple months later. 

Soon after that, Lily found out she was pregnant and they had this beautiful boy that sat on Joel's lap. Thomas Joel Miller, or TJ, is what they named him and TJ reminded Joel of Ethan when he was this age, being talkative and energetic. Then about a year ago, Lily was pregnant once again but this time it was a girl, who they named Sarah Marie Miller which made Joel tear up a bit at this.

Aiden and Eliza are what you'd call childhood sweethearts. Ever since they met when they were ten, they had been inseparable. You couldn't imagine one without the other. The two started dating when they were about fourteen and they fell more and more in love with each other as the days went on. They had just gotten married about six months ago. 

The twins also had become good strong men that have helped keeping Jackson safe, thanks to their Uncle Tommy and to Joel. Joel was very proud of his boys and who they've become and he knew if (y/n) were still alive, she would be proud of them too.

Eventually, the group finally make it to Dina and Ellie's farmhouse and they all unload from the carriage. TJ jumps off of Joel's lap and goes over to Ethan, who got off of the carriage and started to help them out of the carriage.

Joel grunts as he gets up, grabs his cane and guitar then walks to the edge just as both of his sons stand by. "Come on, dad." Aiden said and Joel chuckles at this and says. "If you two don't quit babying me..."

"We're just worried about you, pops." Ethan said as Aiden takes Joel's cane and Ethan grabbed the guitar and the two young men help their old man down. "I know you are." Joel mutters as he lands on the ground and Aiden hands him his cane back. "Thank you." Joel said. "I'll hold onto this." Ethan said as he holds up the guitar and they start to walk towards the farmhouse.

"Well, look who showed up!" Jesse exclaims as he and JJ stand at the porch. The front door opens and Ellie walks out and smiles at the new company. Ethan and Aiden both go over and hug Ellie before they go to hug JJ and shake Jesse's hand then give him a quick hug.

Lily and Eliza hug Ellie as well then go over to JJ and Jesse. "How are you guys?" Ellie asked them while Joel walks up to the porch and smiles. They would tell her that they were good until Ellie looks at the little girl in Lily's arm.

"Hey munchkin!" Ellie said to her and the little girl holds her arms out to Ellie. "Sarah really likes you." Lily said, chuckling, as she hands the little girl over to Ellie. "Hey, Ethan and Aiden were the same way with her when they were babies." Joel said and Ellie turns to Joel and her lips curled into a smile.

"Hey babygirl." Joel greets, softly.

"Hey dad." Ellie said, smiling.

The two embraced for a few moments before Ellie pulls back and asks. "How you doin', old man?" Joel chuckles and replies. "Doin' alright. You?" Joel asked her. "I'm good." She replied and he nods at her. 

Ever since Abby was killed all those years ago, Joel and Ellie's relationship had slowly improved as the days went on. The two would often help the other whenever one of them relived the day (y/n) died, which caused sleepless nights, isolation, breakdowns, and reckless stunts during patrol, in Ellie’s case.

Ellie had forgiven Joel for what he and (y/n) did many years ago, having finally understood why they did what they did after she caught JJ’s eyes when he was born. Though (y/n) wasn't there to hear her say those words, Joel assured  Ellie that she would've been happy and that (y/n) loved her no matter what even after death.

This brought Ellie to tears and the two embraced each other as she started to cry, Joel let a few tears escape his eyes but did his best to keep it together for Ellie.

As the day turned into the evening, the family ate, drank, talked and laugh as everyone bonded and caught up with what was going on with their lives. JJ loved the guitar Joel had made for him and he started to play a bit from what he learn from Joel and Ellie.

They applaud once he finished and Joel gives him a proud smile. But then he noticed that Aiden and Eliza seemed a bit more quiet and nervous. "Aiden? Eliza? Everything alright?" Joel asked them and they look over at him, shocked. 

"Well, we...uh...we..." Aiden stammers as everyone looks at them. "Well, we do have an announcement but..." Eliza said and Dina nods at them. "What is it?" She asked. "We don't want to take away JJ's special day." Aiden said. "Go ahead, spit it out...what is it, Uncle Aiden?" JJ asked him then Aiden and Eliza share a look before she bites her lips.

"Well....to make a long story short, there's gonna be a new addition to this family." Aiden said as Eliza giggles. "Are you fucking serious?!" Ellie said, shocked, as everyone gasps. The young couple nod and Dina and Lily screech in excitement as they stand up and hug Eliza. "Congratulations!" Jesse said to Aiden as he pats his back.

"Thanks, Jesse." Aiden said as Ethan hugs his brother. "Way to go, bro!" Ethan said and Aiden laughs while Joel stands up and Aiden looks over at his father. "Congrats, Aiden." Joel said as Aiden walks up to him. "Thanks, dad." He said and father and son hugged each other.

"Can I talk to you, privately?" Aiden asked him. Joel nods and the two walk away from the others as they talk about the new baby with Eliza. Once they were away from listening ears, Aiden turns to Joel. "I was wondering if I could get your blessing..." he said and Joel raises an eyebrow at this. "Blessing? For what?" Joel asked, confused.

"Well, this baby....I don't know why but I have this weird feeling that it's gonna be a girl. And....I was wondering, if it's okay with you, if Eliza and I could name her (y/n)?" Aiden asked him and Joel's eyes begin to tear up at this. "Of course, you can..." Joel said, his voice shaking and full of emotion. Aiden smiles at this as Joel goes to wipe away the tears.

"I know she would've been honored." Joel said to Aiden just as Ethan comes up to them. "Who would've been honored?" Ethan asked, curious, and Aiden turns to his brother. "I asked dad if I could name the baby (y/n) if its a girl." Aiden replied and Ethan looks down at this.

"I wish she was here." Ethan said and Aiden nods. "Same here. I miss her so much." He said and Joel looks down at the ground. The boys look up at their father and noticed how sad he looked. Then both boys go to hug Joel as he tried to keep his emotions in check, trying not to attract any attention from the others.

The three Miller men break their embrace as Joel takes a deep breath then looks at his sons and nods, letting them know that he was alright. The boys give him a comforting smile before they go back to the festivities.

That night, Joel returns to his home and walks up the stairs to his room. He looks at his bed side table and stares at the picture of him, Sarah and (y/n) at Sarah's soccer game. He sits down on the bed then picks up the picture. He lets out a sigh as he stares at his girls; missing them now more than ever, especially (y/n).

He sets the picture down then takes off the chain around his neck, kissed the ring then sets it down on the table next to the picture and starts to get ready for bed. Once he gets ready for bed, he sets his cane to the side of the bed and lays down in the bed. He looks back at the photo and gives a small smile towards it. "Goodnight, girls." He mutters then he starts to close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

He opens his eyes and realized, immediately, he wasn't in his home in Jackson. He was in a truck...his old truck. "What?" He mutters, confused, then he looks out the window and gasps. In front of him, was his old home back in Texas and it looked untouched, almost like how it was the night he, (y/n) and Sarah left it when the Outbreak first happened.

He looks to his right and sees his cane before he grabs it then gets out of his truck. He makes his way to the front door when he heard voices on the other side, familiar voices...voices he hadn't heard in a long time.

He opens the door and choked up a sob when he saw who the voices belonged to. "Dad!" Sarah exclaimed, happily, as she stands up and runs to him. She tackles him in a hug and Joel smiles as he holds her tight. "Sarah..." He whispers, tearfully, and she pulls back from the hug and smiles at him.

He raises his head up and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees (y/n). Only she looked much younger, it was like she hadn't aged a day since Outbreak Day. "(Y/N)." He said, softly, and she smiles and walks up to him. She reaches out, placed a hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her hand on his face.

It had been so long since he felt her touch, he forgot what it felt like. He placed his hand over hers then turns his head to kiss her palm. (Y/N)'s smile grew wider as she lets out a breathless laugh. "Hey, Joel." He opens his eyes and stares at her as she looks him over.

"You got old." She said, chuckling a bit. Joel laughs as well while Sarah smiles and looks between them. "You don’t look too bad yourself." He said to her, smiling. She sniggers a bit then said. "You ol' sap." 

Well, I am the romantic type." Joel said and her smile grew wider. "You got your ways." She said, smiling, as he looks her over, lovingly. "I've miss you. Both of you." He whispers. "We've missed you too, Daddy." Sarah said.

"How’s everyone, Joel? The boys giving you trouble?" (Y/N) asked and Joel chuckles to himself, shaking his head. “The boys are great. You would be proud of how much they’ve grown. They even got a family of their own.” Joel explains and (y/n) smiles.

“And Ellie? How’s my other baby girl?" She asked him. “She’s doing good. Remember Dina?” He asked and she nods. “She and Dina married a few years back. After Seattle, we made it back and found out Dina was pregnant then she had a son named JJ. They live in a farm not too far from Jackson. And Jesse actually found someone new.”

“That’s good. I’m so happy for them. And what about your brother and Maria?” (y/n) asked, curiously. “They worked things out with their marriage. They have a kid as well, thank God that son of a bitch finally settled down.” Joel chuckles and (y/n) and Sarah laughs.

"Gosh, first I have two brothers, now I have a cousin?!" Sarah said. "Well, good thing I told him about you." Joel said and Sarah's smile grew bigger. "All good I hope." She said as she folds her arms across her chest, but her smile still plastered on her face.

"Naw, I told them every embarrassing story about you." Joel jokes and Sarah gives a playful scoff at this. Joel looks between his girls before (y/n) said. "We've missed you, Joel."

"I've missed you too. Both of you." He said as he looks at Sarah then looks at his wife. "Well, I sure hoped you did." (Y/N) said, sarcastically, and Joel chuckles. "But...you know, honey. You can stay here with us." (Y/N) said and Joel gives her a questioning look. "That is...if you want to." She finishes.

"Like...I have a choice?" He asked and she nods. "You can stay here with us or you can go back with Ellie and the boys." (Y/n) said and Joel looks at the girls then back towards the front door, obviously conflicted on the choice.

"I know it's hard but it is up to you, Joel. I'd understand either way." (Y/N) said as Joel looks back at her. He wanted to stay with Ellie and the boys to make more memories with them, especially since Aiden was about to have a baby, but then he felt that they didn't need him. He taught them everything he knows and they were all adults and were able to handle themselves. He also missed his wife and Sarah too much and seeing them made him feel complete.

He looks over at (y/n) then places a hand on her cheek, before he leans in and kisses her on the lips. His heart leaped into his chest once his lips touched hers; he forgot how soft her lips felt and how their lips felt together, like two pieces of the puzzle that fit together.

He pulls back and she looks him over and smiles again. "Hey, you look better now." She said, chuckling. He raises his eyebrow at this then looks over at a mirror that was hanging on the wall and noticed that he looked much younger. He stares at his reflection in shock before he looks back at (y/n) and smiles.

He goes to kiss her again then breaks the kiss before he hugs her. Sarah then goes up to her parents and hugs them, the original trio back together again as they hold each other tight. 

Few Days Later

A large group of people were at the cemetery, laying down some flowers on a freshly mound grave. Tears running down their faces as they mourn the loss of a member of their family.

Tommy wipes away his tears before he pats his nephews' shoulders then looked over at Ellie, who was just staring at the grave in sadness. Aiden and Ethan nod at their uncle as he, Maria and their son head back home. 

"Do you want us to stay, Ethan?" Lily asked him as she places a hand on his shoulder. TJ was sitting on a nearby bench, looking distraught, while Lily was carrying his sister in her arms. Eliza looks up at Aiden, who had the same look of sadness on his face just like Ellie and Ethan.

"Girls, I think we should give them space." Dina said to the two other women and they walk away, leaving Ellie, Ethan and Aiden standing before two graves. 

One of the graves had the name (y/n) Miller on it and next to it was a freshly dug up grave with a tombstone that they just placed on it, the name Joel Miller was engraved upon it.

The morning after JJ's birthday, Aiden and Ethan went by Joel's house to check on him but began to worry when they entered his home and he wasn't in his chair like he would be on any other normal day. Aiden thought maybe the festivities from the night prior might have worn the old man out but Ethan knew something was wrong.

They called out for Joel but no response. That is until they entered his bedroom and found Joel still laying in his bed, he looked peaceful. Ethan called out to him but when Joel didn't move, the boys begin to panic. Ethan ran over to the bed and checked his dad's pulse, only to realize that his skin was already cold.

"Well...at least he's with her." Ellie mutters as she wipes her nose with the sleeve of her jacket. "Yeah..." Aiden sobbed. "I hope you're happy, dad. We're gonna miss you." Ethan said, sadly. "Say hi to mom and Sarah for us." Aiden said. The three adults stare at their parents grave a few more minutes before the twin boys walk away but Ellie stays standing.

"I'll watch over them, don't you worry." Ellie said and she lets out a sigh before wiping away the tears. "Love you, mom and dad. I'll miss you." She whispers then she starts to walk away, catching up with her family.

[joshua-flipping-washington]

EllieDina week: Day 1- Ache.

《 Okay! I decided very late to join in on the EllieDina week fun! I wanted so badly to write something for today's theme, because I had an idea I really wanted to use to go along with this edit.

I might still end up writing it later, and adding it to this post. But for now- Here's my post for the first day! It's totally terrible, hopefully the writing I add later will make up for it. 》

Ellie sat defeated in the water, crimson blood from her injuries surrounded her and clouded the waters surface. Her pulse roared and she could her the sound screaming in her ears, as she held her injured hand close.

She had let Abby and the boy go, maybe they would at least have some chance of surviving. It's what Joel would have wanted, right? For her to stop fighting so hard, blinded by revenge and seeing nothing but red.

She got up slowly, hissing in pain as her injuries disapproved of the jostling and twisting. " Fuck… " She muttered as she slowly made her way over to the other boat. Ellie attempted to climb in, but more so she just tumbled in.

She grabbed her backpack and started to mend what wounds that she could, her mind flashing back to the night she'd left the farm house. The night that she had left home, had left her family behind- All in the name of revenge, of not being able to let go.

< >

Ellie was crouched down in their small kitchen, shoving the last bit of supplies she'd need for her journey in her backpack. She closed her eyes slowly as she heard Dina come down the stairs, stopping at the threshold of the kitchen, staring right at her.

She speaks up slowly, her eyes lingering on the pack at Ellie's feet for a moment. Watching as Ellie slowly stands and turns towards her. " Hey. " Ellie answers her back in a tired, apprehensive tone. " Hey. "

Dina glances from Ellie, up towards the stairs and then back once more. " Man, it's been awhile since he's slept this long, huh? " She said, her mind pleading with her to do anything she can to get Ellie to come back upstairs with her.

Ellie gave a slow nod of her head as she answered. " He's had a day. " Dina could tell the gears were just churning in Ellie's head as she looked at her. " Yeah. He's fine. " She turned and gestured towards the stairs. " Come back to bed. " Dina said as she turned and started to move towards the stairs. " We can talk about it in the morning, okay? "

" I have to finish it. " Ellie spoke up and Dina froze for a moment,her heart dropping in her chest. She slowly turned around with an exhausted sigh, moving her hands to rest them on her hips. " You don't owe Tommy anything. "

Ellie let out a sigh of her own,she needed to finish this. " I don't sleep. I don't eat. I'm...I'm not like you, Dina. " She shook her head slowly, watching Dina.

Dina let her hands fall from her hips with an exasperated and shocked. " What? " Falling from her mouth before she continued to speak. " You think this is easy? " Dina slowly steps towards Ellie. " For you and for him, I deal with it. "

Ellie opened her mouth and began to speak, her gaze set on the ground. " I love you- " But is immediately cut off by Dina. Her voice is already thick with emotion. " Prove it. Stay. "

" I can't. " Ellie says as she raises her head, green eyes devoid of all the emotions she should have been feeling.

Dina throws her hands up in frustration, shaking her head slowly as she blinks. " So, what- I'm just supposed to sit here and wait for you. " She tosses her arms out to the side. " For God knows how long, just thinking your fucking dead the entire time? "

" I don't plan on dying. " Ellie sounded so sure of herself, so matter of fact. As if she was invincible. " Yeah, well neither did Jesse. Or Joel. " Dina said as the tears threatened to rise.

Ellie is silent for a moment, then she leans down and reaches for her pack. Dina rushes forward and places her hands on either side of Ellie's face. " Hey, stop- Hey. Come on. " She gently brushes her thumb over Ellie's cheek, her heart is hammering like mad in her chest. " We've got a family. She doesn't get to be more important than that."

As Dina stared at Ellie, looking at her face and into her eyes, she could tell as soon as she dropped her gaze that she wasn't getting through to her. " No… " She slowly lowered her hands and pulled away, a sob rising up from her chest as she turned away, tears streaming steadily down her face. " I'm not going to do this again. "

Ellie stood behind her in silence, knowing she should be fighting to stay. But she needed to end it, so she could eat and sleep again, so she could have a semi-normal life. " That's up to you. " She says before turning her back to Dina and walking out the door. The sound of her sobs the last thing she hears as she walks away.

< >

Ellie had finished fixing up what little she could of her wounds, sighing heavily. Her heart aching at the memory of the night she'd left Dina and JJ. " I should have fucking stayed… Dina, JJ- I'm so sorry. " She sniffed, cradling her shoddy patched up hand. She knew that she needed to head back home, there was nothing left for her here.

She made the long and exhausting trip back to Wyoming, only stopping when she needed to. Hoping that Dina would give her a second chance, would allow her to show that she did care.

It took several weeks, 330 hours of traveling to reach the small fenced in farm house. Ellie stood at the gate, pulling her backpack tighter on her shoulders. She opened the latch and stepped inside, slowly walking up to the house through the tall grass.

As she stared at it, the house no longer looked open and inviting. It looked empty and cold, there didn't seem to be any signs of life at all. Ellie sighed heavily and walked up to the tree where she'd carved all of their names, smiling fondly as she rubbed her finger over the rough carvings. Her heart ached as she thought about her family, but she knew she had to get them back. She didn't come all this way for nothing.

[darlingsdevil]

Of The Valley (Joel x Reader)

Chapter 5: The Flesh Failures

Summary: Life in Jackson is never easy. Consoling angsty teenagers, wading through the mysterious waters of Joel’s romance language and with a child of your own on the way? Life is about to get a lot harder.

Of The Valley Masterlist

RDR2 Masterlist

Tag list (please comment to be added or removed): @sidepuff @joelsheartache @fangirl-inthe-us @cowboyfrazer @scarletpines @mikah-writes @writersblockincoming @sleepylunarwolf

A/N: Thank you guys so so much for all this support, it’s genuinely astounding! Your guys comments really make my day!

•••

There was no way you were pregnant. Absolutely no way. It was a stupid thought. You couldn’t be pregnant, there was no possibility of that.

You were probably just sick from dinner last night. It was common. Especially since Tommy couldn’t manage to find any fresh ingredients. It was definitely the stew, you assured yourself. Not a chance you could be carrying a baby.

When was the last time you had your period? Two months? Even before that? It was probably just the stress that caused you to miss it, or forget about it entirely. That was most likely it. You were okay. There was no baby.

“You alright in there?” Joel’s gruff voice asked from the other side of the door.

His question didn’t even register for a few seconds.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You said, trying to keep the pain out of your voice, regardless it still came out weak and painful.

“Why do you sound like you’re on the floor?”

You got up quickly and opened the door for him. “I’m fine.”

Joel stared at you in confusion and glanced over your shoulder. The nausea was making it hard to stand up straight, but you managed, as wobbly as you looked.

“Are you sure? You don’t look too well,” Joel interrogated you.

“I’m good. Just feeling a little sick.” The nausea was slowly increasing, causing your stomach and head to feel much worse. Your body began feeling warmer.

“We can head back right now to Jackson if you aren’t feeling well,” Joel suggested, his eyes filled with worry.

As much as you wanted to go home, you still owed Maria. You couldn’t give her a half assed job, even though Tommy could have finished it easily.

“Whatever Tommy thinks is best,” You dismissed as you leaned against the counter, feeling the sickness wash over you.

“I don’t think Tommy would want you getting sick on the job.”

“Well, let’s just run it by him first,” You managed to get out as you felt your stomach churn. It was too damn bright in here and the sound of Joel’s voice was almost too loud.

“Okay. I’ll go get him.” Joel left the bathroom in search of Tommy while you tried to balance yourself on the counter.

This was not the first time you were sick in the morning. It was common enough that you didn’t bat an eye at it. It was surely that.

There was no way you were pregnant.

Tommy and Joel came back a few moments later.

“How you feeling?” Tommy asked you, stepping into the bathroom with you.

“Not that good. Did any of you guys get sick last night from the food?” You wondered. Joel and Tommy shook their heads, eyeing you cautiously.

“No. I don’t think Ellie did either. Maybe you got sick from the bar,” Tommy suggested.

“That’s probably it. I heard the daycare got hit pretty badly with the stomach flu, maybe Denise or Charlie came to the bar and spread it,” You replied, making up excuses you hoped to be true. Denise and Charlie were the owners of the daycare.

“Last I heard they didn’t get it. Not many of the parents did either. Could be something else though, who knows,” Tommy answered. Your stomach was feeling worse and worse, going out and finishing off the rest of the infected seemed nearly impossible now.

You were quiet, trying to quell your intrusive thoughts and your stomach pain.

“We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to. Maria will understand,” Tommy assured you. Maria would understand, that was given, but she had begged you to do the job outside of town, you didn’t want to let her down. But you were not going to do another job again out here, as easy as this one was, you had to put your foot down. You couldn’t risk having to go back outside of a Jackson again.

“I have to finish this job,” You grumbled. You really weren’t looking forward to throwing up in front of Joel and Tommy. They needed to leave.

“You’re looking awfully sick. I don’t think it’s best if we go out again,” Joel said this time, Tommy nodded in agreement.

“I’m not going back out here to finish the job if I go back,” You replied firmly.

“I can finish it off. Joel will take you back with Ellie,” Tommy said.

You nodded, someone would have to explain it to Maria when you got back, and then you would return to your normalcy, however that looked from now on.

“Just don’t take too long. Maria will get worried,” You told Tommy, wincing in pain.

“I would never. She would have my head on a spike.”

•••

Joel, you, and Ellie set out for Jackson once again. Levia was happy to see you, you hoped it wasn’t too cold for her and Caesar in the garage.

Ellie and Joel were mostly quiet for awhile. Everything was quiet, you hated it. There was only the clicking of hooves and the gentle noises from the horses.You passed through the abandoned buildings and streets with ease, there was no infected, but wildlife was abundant, although autumn was quickly killing off the land.

Yet you couldn’t take your mind off everything that happened. Would you even be able to return to normal with your friends? Was that even an option anymore? You shut them out for three months, they felt betrayed. You were worried about Ellie in particular, a lot seemingly happened with her and Joel. You couldn’t place your finger on the severity of it, you prayed you would be able to mediate it soon, if you could.

And then there was the possibility of you being pregnant. Was there a possibility of you being pregnant?

You looked down at your abdomen briefly. Was there life inside of there? Was there a baby and you had no idea for three months? There was a small bump.. when had that gotten there? It was just from the change in your occupation, patrol was a lot more physically demanding, you told yourself.

A shiver ran down your spine at the thought raising a child. Especially in a world as cruel as this one. You were barely able to manage yourself these days, let alone a baby.

Your mind was on high alert, though you didn’t let it show. Not even when every toss and turn made you feel sick. Your stomach was still feeling as awful as ever, you were sure it would last most of the day.

You wanted nothing more than to be in bed at your home. Despite the memories held there, you could care less.

Ellie and Joel were talking up ahead. Neither of the two seemed particularly pleased with each other. Their words were muffled, both speaking quietly as they trotted next to each other, nipped sentences and awkward silence. It was uncomfortable for even you to watch.

•••

You snuck quietly back into town, Joel and Ellie handed Levia back to the stables, taking your rifle with them, Joel offering to explain it to Maria while you got some rest while you went back to your house at the edge of town. It was a nicer house, small but homey. It was in one of the neighborhoods near the north district. Though your backyard wasn’t next to the wall, you were only a street away.

It was a craftsman style home. The flowers on your porch had long since died, your lawn was neglected too. Your neighbor was kind enough to cut it occasionally since your property wasn’t too big, but you felt embarrassed knowing that you hadn’t taken care of it, and that it was noticeable. Mark liked cutting the grass especially.

Two chairs out on the front porch, dusty from lack of use, you sighed, adding property care to your list of to-do’s. You opened the front door with your key, pulling off your shoes as you entered.

“I’m home,” You mumbled quietly, hoping perhaps someone would hear you. But no one did, and no one would. You lived alone these days.

Your house was painfully quiet. And you hated quiet. It was such a stark contrast to the life you lived three months ago. Dancing to music in your kitchen while you made dinner, the flickering candle in the corner creating a warm glow, children laughing outside, spraying each other with a hose. The buzzing sound of cicadas outside, the heat of early July on the blacktop, a man who loved you in the corner cutting watermelon. You missed it. You missed it dearly.

Now there was a cold, dark, house, devoid of any life. There was no music, there was no glow, there was no sound. Only the cold, dusty air, a bedroom empty yet filled with things, boxes of records you would never touch again.

You were tired, sickly feeling. There was no one to hold your hair back while you emptied your stomach, no one to hug you while you cried. There was no one here now, just an empty house and an even emptier woman, your secrets suffocating you.

•••

Ellie and Joel returned to their respective rooms for the day.

Ellie was planning on going out with Cat later in the day to watch a movie or two, maybe sneak out at night to go down to the lake with a few other friends, smoke some pot, eat some s’mores, steal a six pack. Normal teenage things. Ellie just wanted to take her mind off things again and not have to worry about her old man.

Joel had nothing on his agenda for today. He had things to do on his day off yesterday, but it was too late in the day to get started on them now. So instead, he decided to finish a carving he had begun, a sparrow. It was a nice enough hobby, it kept his mind off things and it was time consuming. He was using a book Ellie had gotten him for his birthday a few years back as a reference. He was thinking about giving the carving to Maria, he had enough carvings as is.

Later in the day, when the sun was beginning to set Maria knocked on Joel’s door. Ellie left with her friend Cat, he saw them through the window of his bedroom earlier, he wondered where they were going.

“Maria, Tommy,” Joel said as he opened the door, noticing Tommy was with her. He was glad his brother had made it home safely.

“May we come in?” Maria asked, glancing through his door behind him.

Joel opened the door further and let them in. It wasn’t unusual for Maria and Tommy to visit him, sometimes just wanting to socialize, other times coming to him for the odd job or two, or patrol reports.

Joel went into the living room and sat down in his chair, Tommy and Maria going for the couch. They exchanged a look before speaking. Joel immediately knew something was up.

“How was it yesterday?” Maria asked.

“Tommy didn’t fill you in?” Joel replied, raising a brow.

“He did. I want your take on it.”

Joel was perplexed until he remembered yesterday was supposed to be a test for you, he would just be grading it.

“On what exactly?” Joel pressed.

“Y/N. How she did,” Maria corrected.

“She panicked when she shot that first pack of infected. Was hard for her to do the second round too, but she managed,” Joel shrugged, there wasn’t much else to say.

Maria nodded her head. “And her shooting, still as sharp as everyone says?”

Joel nodded in response. You were always a good shot.

“What’s all this testing stuff even for? Why is everyone being so damn secretive?”

Maria and Tommy looked at one another, Tommy began to say something but Maria shook her head, stopping him.

“We want her back on patrol. She asked me not to say anything to you, but I think it would be best if I did. Something happened out there with her, it’s why she went off the grid,” Maria said, her words serious and careful.

Joel knew of this already. Tommy had told him yesterday too.

“What happened?” Joel questioned, trying to piece together the complex puzzle.

“As head of Jackson, it’s not my place to say. But because I’m her friend I think it’s best if you know.”

“Okay,” Joel trailed off, wondering what Maria was going to say.

“Mark died on patrol while they were together.” Maria confessed.

“Mark Lane? As in Y/N’s Mark?”

Tommy and Maria both nodded grimly.

Joel cursed under his breath before speaking to them. No wonder he hadn’t seen him around town, then again he hadn’t seen you much either. But Mark was dead? They hadn’t always seen eye to eye, but they were well enough acquaintanced. Mark was an amazing patrolman, a little under the radar, but his talent was well known.

“How’d he die?” Joel asked.

“Just died out on patrol,” Tommy replied, his eyes boring into Joel’s. Joel took the hint.

“Is that why she has been avoiding everyone?”

“I tried to get her to talk to you, I did. She wouldn’t budge,” Maria said to Joel.

“You should have told me.”

“I told Y/N it was her call and she asked me not to mention it, so I did. But it’s dragged on too long, we need her now,” Maria told him. Joel nodded understandingly.

“For what? We have enough people on patrol as is. Ellie’s moving up, she can take Y/N’s place.”

“I told her I wouldn’t put her on patrol anymore, but we have word of a large horde of infected heading directly our way as we speak. We’re dividing assigned patrollers and future volunteers into groups, we need Y/N as the leader of our sniping group,” She explained carefully.

“A horde?” Joel asked dumbfounded. He had never in his life been even caught in one. He knew New York City was one big horde now, as well as Los Angeles and Miami, he had ran from large groups of infected, sure, but he had never been close to a horde.

“We can take them. We already have our traders coming early to bring supplies. Best case scenario, the horde barely misses us for the winter, worst case scenario, we lose some people in the fight, but we can kill this many infected, we have the manpower to do it,” Tommy replied determinedly.

“We have groups of infected coming up here every damn winter, what makes this one any different?”

“The difference is that this is a large horde. Bigger than any one we’ve seen yet, our people down south said we need to prepared, we can’t risk this horde getting close to town,” Tommy explained to him.

“And where do I fit into this?” Joel asked. The sun was setting further now, it was beginning to get darker. The street lamps turned on outside. Halloween was in a few weeks, he had been meaning to decorate. It was Sarah’s favorite holiday, they always went all out. Perhaps he would light an autumn candle tonight and make some fall comfort food — hearty soup or pasta.

“You’ll be head of our field patrol with Tommy, along with a few others. Tommy and you will coordinate defenses, you’ll be out on the frontlines,” Maria was the one to explain this time.

Joel’s heart began beating faster, he couldn’t sit back and watch his friends fight a horde of infected, he was glad he would be fighting alongside them.

“And the sniper unit?”

“That’s where Y/N comes in. Where our frontliners can’t work, we’ll have our snipers lead,” Maria claimed. They would have a good chance, especially with the supplies and manpower Jackson had.

“When is this horde due to hit us?” Joel asked. All they would need is a couple days, lots of molotovs and explosives and ammo to pick off this pack

“Right now it’s looking like early December. We expect the horde to leave some stragglers behind through cities they pass so it won’t be quite as big as it is looking right now,” His brother explained.

Jackson being hit by a horde? Joel was more worried about the people of Jackson panicking, the frenzied fear of people was sometimes more dangerous than a group of infected.

“Have you told Y/N about this?” Joel asked Maria quietly.

She shook her head gently, “I don’t want to spring this all on her so quickly. We just need to ease her into this, I’m sure it’s all very overwhelming right now.”

Joel understood well enough. Losing someone you were close with is never easy, he was well acquainted in that department, he knew the pain that came with it. He would talk with you later about it, but first he would take you to the lake like he had promised.

•••

Maria came by at night, holding a box of cookies, waking you from your nap. At least your stomach had stopped hurting, yet you still felt beyond tired, your whole body ached.

“Hey,” You greeted her softly as you opened the door, your eyes still adjusting to the light.

“I heard you got sick earlier, how are you feeling?” She asked as you let her in. You could smell the leaves as you opened the door, the slight remnants of the crisp autumn air from last night still lingering in your mind.

“Better, not sure what came over me,” You sighed, shutting the door while you both stood by the door.

“Do you think you can go into work tomorrow?” Maria asked you, her eyes softening.

“Yeah, yeah, I think I’m good,” You said quickly with a shrug, playing it off.

“Are you sure you’re not getting sick? Flu is common around this time of year, working in a bar probably wouldn’t make it better.”

“I’m fine, Maria, seriously,” You reassured her.

“Have you gotten sick at all recently?” She continued.

“Yeah, I get sick usually in the morning, I’m sure it’s just because of my nerves and what not,” You confessed to her. Maria’s eyes widened briefly.

“You look a little flushed.. you’re one hundred percent sure you’re not getting sick? Or that this isn’t something else?” She emphasized on the last sentence.

Your mind wrestled with itself, should you tell Maria you think you may be pregnant? She would be supportive of you surely and would make sure to accommodate you.. but you didn’t want her to fret and you weren’t even totally convinced.

“I don’t feel sick now, it’s probably nothing,” You said, attempting to reassure not only her but yourself too.

“Okay well, how was yesterday then?”

“Joel’s angry with me. Ellie’s angry too,” You sighed, looking down at your shoes.

“They’ll come around eventually. But patrol went off without a hitch?” She redirected the question, dismissing your original statement.

“I guess, I’m glad it’s over though.” Patrol hadn’t gone off without a hitch, in fact, it was anything but smooth, but at least you had gotten some work done. You were sure Tommy or Joel had already told her all about it.

“Good. Well, it’s getting late, I still have to go stop by Ellie’s room when she gets back from wherever the hell she is, so goodnight. I hope you like the cookies,” Maria said, handing you the tin of cookies.

You looked out into the street, your neighbors had already put up some decorations for Halloween. Mark had a love-hate relationship with Halloween, sure he got candy and could indulge in as much as he wanted, but when he was little he had tripped and fell on Halloween and broke an arm and the year after that he had broken his other arm on the same night. His birthday was near Halloween too, hence why you teased him and called him Devil Boy. He hated the nickname, but it didn’t stop him from teasing you right back.

There wasn’t much Trick-or-Treating in Jackson, people carved pumpkins and made costumes and went to the Halloween party, but you always missed seeing little kids go door to door, their eyes bright as they shouted for candy. You were only a kid too when Trick-Or-Treating died out.. it was one of the things you missed the most.

You picked up your box of cookies and examined it, it seemed Maria had made chocolate chip, her specialty. You decided to eat a few now before you went to bed again, you got up from the couch and placed the box on the counter.

A movie sounded nice too, so you went to go retrieve a blanket from your bed. You grabbed the heavy blanket and folded it in your hands, looking over at your calendar by your bed. Luckily, someone in Jackson had kept up with the days and made yearly calendars, it saved you a lot of trouble.

You forgot to mark off some days, so you picked up the marker on your bedside table and began crossing off the days that had already passed, then you noticed something.

You had put the days on your calendar where your period would come, months in advance so you could plan around it.. you had missed your period by a week.

It was just a coincidence.. a few coincidences in a row. Then you looked back at your other months.. you didn’t remember having your period on any of those days…

“There’s no way I’m fucking pregnant,” You said quickly, panic rising in your voice.

“There’s no way, no way at all,” You muttered, your breathing unsteady. You flipped through all the way back to July, remembering the Fourth of July.

“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” You shouted, realization hitting you like a tidal wave, hot tears forming in your eyes. You were pregnant. There was no doubt in your mind now.

You sat down on your bed and tried wiping away your tears with a shaky head. A thousand thoughts raced through your head, how would you raise a child? You knew nothing about childcare. The last thing you wanted to do would be to bring a child into a world as cruel and unforgiving as this one.

You felt angry, confused, cheated, scared for your baby’s future. You couldn’t give the baby a conventional childhood, there was none of that now. Raising a child on your own was scary enough as it is, you weren’t fit to be a mother.

How could you be so careless and not see any of the warning signs? How could you even let this happen? You were three months pregnant and not once did you think of the possibility you could be before today. The morning sickness, increased fatigue, nausea to certain smells, heightened moods and appetite? The warning signs were right there in front of you, how had you missed every single one of them?

How would you even tell anyone about it? Would Maria truly understand? Would she look down at you for not being careful enough?

And Joel? How would he react? There was enough you were keeping from him already.. you could only keep this secret for a few more weeks anyways.

How would your life look with a child? Limited freedoms? Always having someone to look out for? Perhaps it was selfish to think that way.. there was supposed to be unconditional love between a mother and child

Yet there was a spark of hope in your heart. The thought of having a little one giggling as you held them, their bright eyes twinkling up at you, their tiny fingers so gentle, curling around your own.

Maybe things would turn out okay for you and your child, Jackson was much better than raising a child in a QZ or outside of one, it was the closest thing you would get to a normal civilization. There were other children around in Jackson too, a daycare, a school, playgrounds, other families who would help you.

You rubbed your stomach gently, wiping away all your tears, thinking of the good and the bad that would come out of this situation. There was the sound of a child’s laughter or the sound of a gunshot, which one would resonate louder?

•••

[thebluenoteblog]

Just a Number

Summary: While celebrating a win with the team, you overhear a conversation that you really wish you hadn’t heard.

Player: Joel Edmundson

Word Count: 2k

*I’ve never written the Hurricanes before, but I did my best.*

Requested: Can you do a Colton parayko or Joel edmundson one where they have a age gap (reader is 21-23) and on day at a party you hear his friends talking about the age gap and you also hear him not defend your relationship and you leave and when he comes back he sees a blanket and pillow on the couch and the bedroom door is locked and you tell him what he did and you ignore him when he tries to talk to you but that next morning you go downstairs and he runs to you and says he sorry and you guys make up

You were never much of a party person. However, there was no denying that your boyfriend was the definition of life of the party. It wasn’t uncommon for you to find yourself in one of Raleigh’s bars late into the night after a game celebrating a win with the boys and their girlfriends. It wasn’t your favorite pastime. You would much rather be curled on the couch with a good book and a nice glass of wine than sloppy drunk on a Wednesday night. You managed though.

You were managing your way through your second beer of the night when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You weren’t gone long. Three, maybe four minutes. The boys and their girlfriends were all pretty far gone though, so their social skills were basically nonexistent at this point.

You paused a table away, still able to hear their too loud voices clearly over the bustle of the bar. “I don’t understand how you do it man.”

“I could never date someone that much younger than me, I would feel like I was babysitting all the time.”

A round of laughs and no defense from Joel, he was laughing right along with them. You should have made your presence know. You should have walked up to the table and stopped them from making asses of themselves. You couldn’t make yourself. The temptation of finding out what they truly thought of your relationship, what Joel truly thought of your relationship, was to strong.

So, you stood partially concealed behind a group of men and listened.

“You’ve got to think about this. You’re at totally different points in your life, man.”

You watched as Joel nodded and took another drink of his beer.

He wasn’t wrong. You were getting your college degree and Joel was traveling North America playing in the NHL making millions. That had nothing to do with the age gap though, it would have been the same story whether you were twenty-one or twenty-six.

“You aren’t really planning on staying with her, are you?”

You didn’t want to hear the answer to that question. You already had your purse, so you turned and walked out the door before he had time to answer. You didn’t say goodbye. You didn’t tell anyone you were leaving. You didn’t want them to see the tears in your eyes. Childish? Yes. Why did that matter? You’d done everything you could to prove yourself to them and still, none of it mattered. So you walked down the street, ordered an Uber from a McDonalds and waited.

****

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Joel asked, craning his neck to look around the bar.

Sebastian turned his head, joining him in the search, “I don’t see her.”

“Could she still be in the bathroom?” Petr asked, “She isn’t out here.”

“It’s been like fifteen minutes,” Joel said, though his concept of time was skewed by alcohol and it had been much longer then fifteen minutes. He started to stand from his chair, “I’m more worried about something having happened to her between here and the bathroom.”

Sara put out a hand, as the soberest person at the table she was thinking the clearest. “Sit down, I’ll go check the bathroom. I don’t think they would take to kindly to you walking into the women’s restroom.”

She stood and walked off, Joel leaned back in his chair bouncing his leg and pealing at the sticker on his bottle. “Man, she’s fine.” Haydn said from beside him, “stop freaking out.”

Joel didn’t take his eyes off the bottle, just nodded, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Haydn? Right about something? It’s a miracle.” Sebastian said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Haydn threw a straw wrapper at him and he swatted it away without much effort.

“Sara’s coming back,” Petr said, nodding his head through the crowd.

She took a seat with her lips pressed together and said, “She wasn’t in there, or anywhere along the way. Did you try calling her?”

He quickly placed his beer on the table and pulled his phone out of his pocket. The phone rang once, twice, then voicemail. He pulled it away from his ear and stared at it. He was feeling really fucking sober by that point.

He tried again. Straight to voicemail. He looked up at the rest of the group, “Straight to voicemail.”

They all looked around at each other, concerned. “Do you share you share your locations with each other?” Sara asked.

Joel nodded, a little bit of the panic leaving his face as he pulled out his phone and went to the app. No Location Found. “Her phone is turned off.” He looked up, eyes wide, “What do you do when someone goes missing in a bar?”

“Do you think maybe she just left?” Haydn asked. “Like maybe she just went home?”

Joel shook his head, “She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t just leave and not say anything.”

“Eddy, it’s a hell of a lot more likely that she went home than that she got kidnapped in a crowded bar and no one noticed.” Haydn said, “We’ll stay here, you go back to the apartment and see if she’s there.”

He pushed his lips together and closed his eyes, trying to think logically through the panic and what was left of the alcohol in his system. “Okay.” He said eventually, “Okay, I’ll go see if she’s there.”

****

Twenty minutes later he was unlocking the door of your shared apartment and pushing it open. He stepped inside and the first thing he noticed was that in the middle of an otherwise spotless apartment (courtesy of you, despite the team thinking he was babysitting you, you were the one cooking for him, cleaning up after him, and in general making sure he was taken care of) there was a blanket and a pillow thrown on the couch. They weren’t folded. Not the way they would have been if you had been leaving them for a guest. They were unceremoniously tossed.

They hadn’t been there when you’d come home to change after the game before heading to the bar. At least he knew you were here.

He closed the door behind him and as he flipped the lock he called, “(Y/N)?”

There was no answer. He could see into the living room and kitchen from where he was standing so that really only left one of the two bedrooms as options. As he walked past the guest bedroom he pushed the door open. Nope.

He made it to the end of the hallway and twisted the door knob of the master bedroom without pausing in his stride because, well, he expected the door to open. It didn’t. He ran right into it, took a step back and twisted it again. Locked. “(Y/N)?” he asked through the door, knocking a couple times, “Can you let me in?”

There was no verbal response, but through the door he could hear her turn up the TV to tune him out. He pounded harder on the door, “(Y/N), seriously! Let me in!”

There was no sign whatsoever that she had heard him. He sighed, “Babe, what did I do?” He asked making sure his voice was loud enough to be heard over whatever show she was using to drown out his voice.

On the other side of the door, you turned down the TV and responded, “Go away, Joel. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

He could hear in your voice that you’d been crying. He ran back through the events of the night trying to find anything that he had done that was bad enough to illicit this response from his usually stable, calm, reasonable girlfriend. He couldn’t come up with anything. “(Y/N), I swear to god I will break down this door if you don’t let me in.”

“I don’t want to deal with this right now! Go away!” You yelled, finally snapping and throwing a pillow from his side of the bed at the door.

He flinched at the impact and took a few steps back. He stared at the door for a few more minutes wondering what the fuck he’d done and how he was supposed to fix it. After a long moment of contemplation, he headed to the couch to grab his pillow and blanket.

****

It was a good thing you usually walked staring at the ground when you were in a bad mood. If you hadn’t been, you probably would have tripped over your boyfriend who was laying sprawled on the floor outside your door like a guard dog. You stepped over him and made your way into the kitchen.

You must have been slamming things around louder than you thought you were because the notoriously heavy sleeper appeared behind you within five minutes. You did your best to ignore him, but it was difficult given his following you around with a confused, guilty look on his face. It was like he felt bad for what he’d done but he wasn’t quite sure what that thing was.

Finally, you dropped the bowl of eggs you were whisking on the counter with a clatter and turned to face him with your hands on your hips, “Okay, ask.”

He swallowed, eying you nervously like you were some type of wild animal. “Why are you so mad at me?”

You were angry and not quite thinking clearly. “Don’t you mean to ask why I’m acting like a child?”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, his eyebrows coming together in confusion. Then his face paled. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” You said, “Make your own eggs, babysitter.” Then you returned to your whisking.

He stood quietly behind you, knowing he had to do something to fix this, but not quite sure what. As you poured the eggs into the pan he decided that saying just about anything was better than saying nothing, so he decided on, “Babe, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You hummed, acknowledging that you’d heard him but not accepting the apology.

“To be honest, I don’t even remember what all was said. I was mostly tuning them out.” He said, taking a tentative step toward her. “I know I should have stopped them, but it just didn’t seem like an argument worth having.”

“Is this argument worth it?” You asked.

“No.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that you feel that way. Maybe next time you won’t just sit there while all your friends try to convince you to break up with me.”

“I didn’t!” He defended himself, walking up to stand next to you, leaning against the counter and trying to get you to meet his eyes.

“Really?” You asked, “Because that’s sure what it seemed like from my end.”

“(Y/N),” He said, voice serious, so uncharacteristic for a man who prided himself on being so lighthearted, “The only part of that conversation I remember was telling them that I plan on marrying you someday.”

You looked up from your eggs, “I didn’t hear you say that.”

“I did, (Y/N), I swear.” He said, “They asked me if I was going to stay with you-,”

“Actually, they said you aren’t really going to stay with her, are you.” You corrected him.

He swallowed, and you stared into each other’s eyes as you waited for him to say something. Eventually he said, “Yeah, they did. They were wrong though, and I told them that. They shut up after I did.”

You dumped the finished eggs on the plate you’d set out then turned to face him, tears in your eyes. “You really said that?”

“I did.” He said, “I swear to god, (Y/N). I wouldn’t lie about that.”

He took a step toward you, closing the distance and wrapping his arms around you. “I know I should have said something sooner and you have no idea how sorry I am, but I don’t think they’ll bring it up again.”

You blinked back tears as you buried your face in his chest. “I’m sorry too. I guess I kind of proved them right last night, didn’t I?”

He hummed low in his chest, “No, baby. Besides, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. We both know I’d be lost without you taking care of my irresponsible ass.”

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Left Behind Chapter 19 - Jackson

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: In the series finale Kate and Morgan leave Hope County, Montana and move back to Jackson, Wyoming. John and Kate say their final goodbyes. 

Guest OCs: Joel Winchester [mentioned]

Guest characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Gabriel [mentioned], Lilith [mentioned]. 

Note+UPDATE: The Mother will continue to be posted, then Aftermath, then the New Dawn series will finish off the entire series. Thank you to those who shared, and read my Lucifer forsaken writings!!. 

************************************

Ever since Kate told John about her leaving Hope County, he spent every second of every day with her.

Wanting to be by her side all day, everyday. When that day came, November 2nd. It was tough for him, the love of his life leaving him.

Kate constantly reassured him. Telling him that she’ll come back, and they can talk on the phone all day, every day. Video calling, all of it. 

Her and Paige finally settled their differences, after uncle Brent gave Paige an hour long lecture on the phone, talking about family and shit. They were to leave that afternoon. John never, not once left Kate’s side.

He spent the night at her house, sleeping in the same bed as her. Cuddling with her the whole night, never letting her go. Had a little sex here, and there. He even let her do all the work, let her go on top, and ride him.

“I love you” he says in her ear, playing with her hair.

She chuckles softly, “I love you too”. 

Kate and Morgan were gonna leave around 1pm, the 7 hour drive that will be ahead of them from Hope County to Jackson.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving” John tells her.

She sighs, “Yeah me too. It’s gonna be hard, leaving all of my friends and you behind”. She signs again, resting her head on his chest, “It’s gonna be a tough one, but I’ve dealt with worse. I think I can manage”.

John chuckles, “What about me? I’m gonna need you. I need you here. How are we gonna keep us alive?!”.

She lifts her head up, and looks up at him, “I may have a few ideas”. 

Kisses him on the lips before getting up off the bed, and over to her shelf. She grabs a bluetooth earbud.

“What is that?!” he asks, sitting up.

“A bluetooth earpiece. You hook it up to your phone, and we can talk on the phone for hours. Well it works up to 12 hours. We can talk on the phone without even holding them” she explains to him. 

The whole day passed by so slow yet so fast. Going from Montana to Wyoming, then Wyoming to Pennsylvania. Who knows how long this demon shit is gonna be. Demon deals can only last for so long, 10 years usually. 

Kate knew this would be a long trip. A long and painful one.  That afternoon before they left, she had an angst worthy conversation with John. well actually she had two. One with John, and another with a feathery boy.  He left that morning to work on some Cult stuff, and he returned that afternoon before Kate and Morgan left. 

They both had a heart to heart conversation. Kate and Morgan were packing up the trailer, and the car with their stuff. They planned on leaving some furniture behind, donating it or leaving for the trash collector to pick it up.

“Katie?!” John singfully calls out for her as she packs up the trailer.

“Hey!” she replies, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

They smile at each other, they step away from the vehicle. Away from where Morgan can hear them. John looks down at her, his eyes glossy. She knows he’s gonna cry, and he knows it as well. 

He clears his throat and says with his voice cracking, “You know I love you, and I would do anything for you. You changed me. I never loved anyone like how I do with you. I never cared for anyone the way I do, other than my brothers. I never thought I would be able to have these feelings for someone. You changed me, you made me feel”.

Tears start to form in his eyes, his breathing goes shaky. 

“I don’t want to lose you” he continues, “I don’t want anyone else to have you”.

Kate shakes her head, “You won’t lose me” she says softly.

“I know I won’t, I’m just scared you’ll find someone else” he tells her.

Tears streaming down both of their faces, “You don’t have to leave” he pleads with her.

“I’m sorry” she mutters, “But I have to”.

He nods his head, “I know”.��

They stand in silence for a few moments, time seemingly seemed to freeze in place. 

Kate looks around, and sees that time is going at its normal Earth pace. 

“I love you” he tells her.

“I love you too” she responds back. 

They pull each other in for an embrace, Kate rests her head against John’s shoulder. 

A few hours later, Kate and Morgan packed up the car, and trailer. All set to go back to Wyoming. Resting on the floor inside the somewhat empty house. 

“So are you gonna do anything else before we leave?” Morgan asks Kate.

“Yeah, Yeah I have a few things I have to do before we leave” she tells her.

She gets up off the floor and goes outside to the backyard. Going behind the fence, Haley follows her outside. Kate sits down underneath a tree. She takes a deep breath, slowly petting Haley.

She closes her eyes, and prays to Castiel.

“Hey Cas” she starts, “It’s me Kate Winchester. If you can show yourself that will be great”. 

A few moments of silence followed by a whooshing sound, and a slight breeze to her left.

“You prayed?” the Angel in the beige trenchcoat asks in his monotone, hoarse voice. 

“Yeah” she responds standing up, “I never got to properly thank you for bringing me back”.

He looks at her in slight confusion which is normal for him. He never really understood human emotions to begin with.

“Of course” he says.

“I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me back from The Other Side, and letting me see my dad for the first time” she tells him with a smile on her face.

“It’s my job. It wasn’t your time, and I had to bring you back to Earth” he says to her. 

“Yeah I know” she says, staring off into the distance, “What do you know about dreams?”.

Once again he looks at her confused, “Dreams? They’re images, visions and stories that one’s subconscious manifests when in slumber. It can be in many different forms”.

Slightly shaking her head, “No, no I mean. What does it mean when you have the same dream over, and over again. Everytime it happens it never progressives. It always ends the same way, nothing else happens”.

“What is this dream you’re having?!?” he asks, head slightly tilted.

“It’s with Lilith, she threatens me that if I don’t say yes to her. She’ll hurt Paige, and then Gabriel shows up, and banishes her. It’s the same thing over, and over, and over. It never goes any further”.

Castiel narrows his eyes at her, eyebrows furrowed, “I could mean that Lilith is somehow manipulating you into saying yes, and harvesting your soul”.

Kate nods her head, “Yeah I assume, but she won’t get the answer she’s looking for”.

“Now the part with Gabriel, well that means because he’s your guardian angel, and he has to protect you”.

“Yeah I figured that” she responds, nodding. Exhaling. 

Cas sighs, “You know he’s proud of you. He talks about you whenever I go up to Heaven”.

Kate smiles, “Gabriel talks about me?”.

He awkwardly clears his throat, “Well actually. Your father. Joel, he talks about you and Paige a lot. He’s proud of both of you”.

Kate gasps softly, smiling through her tears, “Oh, he um, he talks about us?!?”.

Nodding his head, “Yes”.

She wipes her tears away, her breath shaky. “I’m leaving Hope County”.

He nods his head, “I know. I heard about the deal Flora made, and the 10 years ends soon”.

“And that’s why I’m leaving” she says, “Again thank you for everything”.

“I know, I’m glad I can help. See you soon” he tells her with a smile. 

Before Cas could disappear. She stops him.

“Cas wait!!” she exclaims. He turns to face the young Winchester, “Why didn’t you come to my save when I prayed to you all those months ago?!?”.

He sighs, looking at the ground, “I can’t tell you much, but I will tell you this. I was told by God, Chuck not to get involved because of his plan for you, and your family”.

She stares at him in utter disbelief, “I-I don’t get it!?!”. 

Nodding his head, “I know. I know, I didn’t understand it at first. I still don’t, I just want to leave it at that”. 

With that said Castiel disappears, leaving Kate by herself outside by the trees with Haley sitting at her side. 

She goes back inside the house. “Are you ready to go?” Morgan asks as she walks in.

“Yeah all set” she responds, nodding her head. 

They put the remaining of their stuff in the car, Haley jumps in the back seat, Morgan in the passenger seat and Kate drives. Starting up the car, and Carry on Wayward Son plays on the radio. 

Once I rose above the noise and confusion. Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion. 

I was soaring ever higher. But I flew too high. 

They drive off down the road as the song plays. 

Driving out of Holland Valley, driving past the fields, and small businesses. Over the bridge, passing the University and the diner. Entering the Henbane River. 

Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think, I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them say. 

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more. 

The Henbane River, the toxic bliss flowers, drugged up angels and blissed out animals.

“Not gonna miss this place” Morgan mutters to herself as she looks out the car window. 

Joseph’s Word, the eye sore of a statue. Someone should destroy that shit, blow it up. Destroy it into teeny tiny unfixable pieces. 

Masquerading as a man with a reason. My charade is the event of the season, and if I claim to be a wise man, well. It surely means that I don't know. On a stormy sea of moving emotion

Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean, I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say. 

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest don’t you cry more, no.

Halfway out of the Henbane River, only a few miles away from the Ancient Bison Tunnel, one of the two exits leading out of Hope County. 

Kate stops the car in the middle of the road, putting the car in park. Pausing for a brief moment. 

Lowering the volume on the radio, Morgan looks at her in confusion. 

“What is it?!?” she asks.

Kate sighs, and says “I can’t believe we’re doing this. We’re leaving this inescapable town, only because of John, and I have this feeling that. That once we leave, we won’t be welcomed back”.

Morgan tilts her head in confusion, “What makes you say that?!?”.

“It's just a feeling I have. Like if we were to come back for our friends. It’ll be ugly, bloody and violent. Bad shit will happen, I just- I just feel it, and it won’t be good. Chaos will happen”.

“You’re just feeling guilty about leaving John, and all of our friends here. They know, they understand. They get that family is important to us. We told them we’ll be back, not sure when, but we’ll be back. John will see you again”. 

She reassures her friend, and to continue their exit out of Montana.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right” she says before taking a deep breath and an exhale, “Let’s go”.

Kate turns the volume on the radio back up, and Kansas finishes playing. 

Now, Turn The Page - Metallica plays. 

She lets out a soft chuckle, putting the car back in drive and they drive up the road towards the tunnel guiding them out of Hope County.

On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha

You can listen to the engines moanin', out this one-note song

You'd think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before

“Here we go” Kate says with a hint of relief in her voice. Morgan looks over at her friend with a smile on her face. 

But your thoughts will soon be wandering

The way they always do, when you're riding 16 hours

There's nothing' much to do, and you don't feel much like riding

We just wish the trip was through

They go through the tunnel, on the other side, they see a sign that says “Next stop Missoula - 5 miles. Jackson, Wyoming 386 miles”.

Kate sighs, “Jackson, here we come” they drive down the long, and lonesome road of Montana. Going back home. 

THE END

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 19

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

I’m sorry that this is posted a little late today! Lmao I’ve just been super busy with a lot of shit going on. I’ll keep trying to post up more chapters for y’all! I hope you guys enjoy chapter 19! I was gonna put the music video that Johann did of “Treat You Better” in this chapter, but I don’t want to give him more exposure and tag his shit in my story LMAO oops

Previous Chapter

~1 Week Later~

Joel’s P.O.V.

“Hola cncowners!” I smiled at my phone screen as more and more people started pouring in, watching my live stream. I had my laptop next to me playing some music while I waited a few moments, letting everyone get settled in. “How are you guys?” I asked and reached for my bottled water I had off to the side. I took a sip and started reading the comments of what everyone was saying.

“Uh I’m good. I’m just hanging out here in the hotel with Richard, but he’s currently FaceTiming Aaliyah right now.” I chuckled and switched the camera so it showed him holding his phone up to his face and smiling at his baby girl.

I turned the camera back to me and read the next following questions. “The rest of the boys are in their rooms probably sleeping or something, I don’t know.” I laughed. “I just wanted to check up on you guys and see how you’re doing.” I cleared my throat and continued reading the comments that popped up on my screen.

“Um.. ‘Mexico misses you! Please come back soon’. We miss you too! I love getting to travel and seeing new faces everywhere I go.” I smiled as more questions were being asked and I began answering them as much as I can. I turned my attention back to my laptop when a song ended and I looked for another video to play. “Hey, do you guys have any song recommendations? Any songs you wanna listen to?” I asked as I had looked back at my phone screen.

So many song titles came through and I waited until I kept seeing a repeat. I saw a few that told me to react to music videos and whatnot, but I played their songs and answered their questions while Richard was laughing at what his daughter was doing on the other line. “Okay you guys. I gotta head to bed really soon, so I’ll play one more song for you guys and then I’m off.” I smiled.

My good mood slowly went out the window as I saw Johann’s name pop up on my YouTube page with a new video that had been posted recently. I was going to scroll past it until I saw someone who looks very familiar on the cover. I sat there in shock, not quite sure if what I was seeing is true. “Uh actually.. I see something on here that caught my attention. I can stay for one more song after this one. Let me just..”

It’s peaked my curiosity though and I can’t help but wonder what he put out. I clicked on the video and was met with her beautiful face on my laptop screen. I felt my breath get stuck in the back of my throat for a few seconds as I heard Johann’s voice start singing to my girl..

“Huh…” It’s like all the butterflies in my stomach had just died watching his hands on her waist.. his face buried in her hair.. her smile. This doesn’t just mentally hurt, this physically hurts. “Treat You Better.. this is uh..” I cleared my throat and continued to watch Johann hold her close to him. I bit my lip and slowly brought my head down. I don’t know if I can continue watching this.

The way he looked at her made my blood boil and I wished that it was me instead of him. It’s been a few months, but I didn’t really think she would… I thought maybe we can… why does my heart hurt so much?

“Alrights, mamas, papá has to get going. I love you!” I looked up at Richard blow a kiss and say goodnight before turning his attention back to me, smiling. He placed his phone inside his front pocket and sat on the bed next to me. “What are you doing?” He asked as he looked at the video playing on my laptop. “I’m just.. I’m.. watching a music video and doing a live..”

He went silent for a few moments as he looked at who was on my screen. “Hey.. isn’t that – ”

“Yeah.” I cut him off and looked away from my laptop as Johann leaned down close to her face, indicating that there must’ve been a kiss at the end. I cleared my throat and exited out that video. “Okay uh.. one last song before I head to bed. How about we let Richard pick out what we listen to next, yeah?” I pushed my laptop closer to him as I looked down at the comments.

“Hola.” Rich spoke and waved at the camera as the cncowners greeted him. He typed in one of our songs and let it play for everyone to hear. I could feel him staring at me from the corner of my eye as I tried to not think about what I just saw. Richard pretty much took over as he started reading an answering questions they were asking as I got up and walked to the other side of the room.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick.” I spoke as I turned my back towards him and walked into the restroom, closing the door behind me. I’m just reminded of the fact that I can’t talk to her and now she’s in his arms. Then again, this could just be acting and nothing more, but it still doesn’t stop the hurt I feel in my chest. He’s rubbing this in my face, I know he is. Why else would he have picked her and sing that song?

I have to find a way to get the ball back in my court without damaging more relationships and my career that I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. Should I even attempt to fight for her back? I know you shouldn’t give up on people you love, but I don’t know if she loves me anymore. Is it worth the fight?

I walked out of the bathroom as I realized the song was just about finished. “Okay you guys.. it was nice getting to talk to you all, pero necesitamos dormir.” Richard spoke as he saw me walk back out of the bathroom and walk towards him. I put on a smile and waved goodbye. “Buenas noches.” I turned off the live and grabbed my phone, tossing it onto the bed carelessly without another thought.

“Bro – ”

“No.. you know what? This is what I get. I don’t deserve to feel the way I do because I did this. I just wish..” I bit my lip and shook my head, ripping open the blankets as I lied down. “I think I’m just gonna sleep on it…” I heard him sigh and walk around, but was shocked when he sat on the edge of my bed. “She’s moving on..” I softly spoke and brought the blanket close to my face. “With him..” He stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up.

“You still love her?” He asked. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.” I spoke and gripped onto my blanket. “Do you want that second chance?” His eyebrows scrunched together as my body turned towards him. “Yeah..” I said, looking up at him. “Dude, what are you – ”

“Just answer the damn questions.”

“Why? What difference does it make?”

“’Cause I’m willing to help you pendejo, but only if it means that much to you. Now answer the fucking questions. Do you or do you not want that second chance?”

“Well of course I do!”

“You want to try again?”

“Yeah, but she won’t – ”

“Are you gonna give up on her?”

“No! No, I don’t want to. But Johann said – ” I sat up he kept going. “You want to be able to continue where you left off and grow together as a couple?” The tone of his voice grew a little louder as I became irritated and answered him back.

“Yes! Yes, okay!” I exclaimed and slowly brought my head down, angry at myself. “… But I can’t. I want.. I want to be able to do all of that and more without anything else getting in the way. I want to start over.” He slowly nodded and held up his hands as in question.

“Okay… so the question is, what are you gonna do about it and what do you need me to do to help you?”

~~

‘Why did the color drain from Joel’s face when he saw Johann’s new music video on his live a few days ago??’

‘Joel looked so sad at the end of his live recently :( are you okay bb? We love you! x’

‘Is anyone else gonna ignore the fact that Joel unfollowed Johann or…?’

‘Does that girl in Johann’s video mean anything to him or something? Was it the song he didn’t like? He looked so upset but didn’t say much about it’

‘I thought the video was good, I don’t know why he got quiet the way he did’

I shouldn’t have watched that during my live a few days ago ‘cause now the fans are asking why my mood changed right after. I haven’t addressed any of them and just continued like nothing happened.

“Alright, this song is fire because it’s telling your girl, or telling that one person ‘I don’t wanna keep fighting’, you know? ‘I don’t wanna keep bugging about things that happened before, let’s just start from zero. Get to know each other again.’” Richard spoke as the rest of us all sat around holding microphones in our hands, getting ready to perform.

“Well, we’re coming out with our new EP that we wrote like maybe 85% of it and we’re really really excited for the people to listen to it. Just going around and spreading our music and hopefully go around the country.” Chris smiled as he looked directly into the camera and cleared his throat. Now it’s time to introduce ourselves..

“Hola, soy Erick.”

“I’m Christopher.”

“I’m Joel.”

“I’m Richard.”

“Yo soy Zabdiel y nosotros somos – ”

“CNCO.”

“Y bueno este es nuestro más reciente sencillo, De Cero.” Zabdiel spoke as he started to strum his guitar. Music is a powerful weapon and can be used in any way you want. A love song to somebody? You got it. Breaking up and moving on? You’ll find one. Going out with friends and partying the night away? Pretty easy to find. Wanting to start over with someone you love? That’s promising..

“Niña, tanto tiempo

¿Qué estás haciendo?

¿Qué es de tu vida?

Dicen que estás sufriendo

Creo que tengo

Una salida”

I’m talking to her through the lyrics without mentioning her name. This is my apology and it’s the only way I can talk about it in public without Johann spilling the beans. I frowned as I brought the mic up to my lips, continuing the next verse.

“Cuando dejemos el orgullo

Y las barreras entre tú y yo

Soltamos lo malo

Nos inventamos un atardecer

Sin mente yo me entregaré

El pasado olvidamos”

I pictured her face and thought about her listening to us perform this song. I wonder if she would even listen to this and know that I’m sorry? I’m singing this for you, (Y/N)..

“Y de cero empezamos

Otro chance nos damos los dos

Mejor dejemos la estupidez (Oh)

Que el amor llega solo una vez

De cero empezamos

Otro chance nos damos tú y yo

Mejor dejemos la estupidez

Que el amor llega solo una vez”

I never thought I would relate so much to a song as I do now. I don’t want to give up on the possibility that we can make us work, but considering the way things are right now, I don’t think she’ll even give me the time of day.

Erick started to sing his next part as I thought about what I’ll do if she were to take me back. I’ll definitely work harder to make sure she feels loved and not a second choice ever again, that’s for damn sure. Have I even considered the possibility that she would just tell me to leave and never see her again? Yes.. yes, I’ve thought about that.

I heard Christopher’s voce start singing and knew my part was almost here. If I can’t have her, I at least want someone who will treat her like I should’ve done. Someone who will give her all the love she deserves and never make her second guess herself. Someone who will make time for her, make her happy and never break her heart. If it’s not me, it’s definitely not Johann. I need to know that she’ll be in good hands if I don’t get a second chance.

“Can we accept all of our differences

And put aside all of the pettiness

Just forget, no regret

I'll take you anywhere you wanna go

I got so much I want to show

Let's restart and we'll go far”

I guess I got so caught up with the cncowners shipping me with Emilia so much that I started to believe that there was something between us. I became nervous whenever I was around her and felt butterflies in my stomach, but nothing compared to the feeling I had whenever I was with (Y/N).

I never knew I could feel like this. Listen to my heart, (Y/N). Can you hear it sing? Please come back to me and forgive everything..

I can’t get that image out of my head. Johann’s hands resting on her waist… his lips just inches away from hers. She’s been seeing him more and more since I left and is getting comfortable around him. My mind became all discombobulated after that video and my heart literally ached at the thought of her falling for someone new.. someone like Johann.

Before I knew it, the song was over and we were free to get up and walk around. “Thank you for doing this for us. You guys were amazing!”

“Thank you for having us.” Richard smiled and shook hands with the video producer. I stood up and stretched, craning my neck back and forth. “We’ll have this video up soon and notify you guys when it’s posted.”

I zoned out the conversations around me as I thought about Richard’s words he said to me that night.

“What are you going to do about it?”

That’s a good question. A very good question indeed..

Next Chapter

~~

Wanna be tagged for future fics? 

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[amarabliss]

Keep’em...(Joel Miller/Reader) - Part Two

Little blurbs of traveling with Joel Miller and Ellie from The Last of Us…

Part One

“You sure this is a good idea?” Joel questioned again laying on his accent even more as he looked down the hole, “It just don’t seem that sturdy…”

“It isn’t.” You watched as he took a quick step back, “Which is why I’m going in alone. I’ll be lighter on the rope and you two can pull me up.”

“You can’t be sure you’ll find anything…i-its not worth the risk.” He shook his head stepping over to you, “We can look for supplies someplace else.”

“Miller, it’s a mall…I was trained to do stuff like this before hell broke loose. If the only thing I find is some winter clothes, it’s worth it.” You whispered to him before glancing at Ellie whispering, “Especially something for her…we can grin and bear it, she’s just a kid and we can’t afford her to get sick. You can’t tell me you don’t want some dry socks.”

His eyes flicked up meeting yours as you grinned. As much as he tried to fight it, he could help but smirk a little, “If there’s a sporting goods store try find one of those keep dry bags.”

“Done, just stay back towards the pole when I first go down. We don’t need any unnecessary weight on the window when I first go down.” You instructed him as you looped the rope through the climbing rig on your waist.

                                 ******************************************

“Everything good up there?” You stood on the ground staring up at the window as they pulled your haul up.

Joel’s head popped back over, “We got it, I’m throwing the rope down now.”

“Take your time…not like I can go anywhere…” You muttered to yourself.

“You bitchin down there?” You felt yourself smile hearing Joel tease you as he tossed the rope back down, “I could just leave ya, save myself a headache.”

“Har har…so funny…” You reached for the rope and it moved away from your hand out of reach, “Not so funny… Miller…”

“I think it’s hilarious…” You could hear his smile in his voice. It wasn’t often he smiled towards you, but recently he’d begun to relax. It was nice.

“Miller…” Your voice held warning.

“Alright…” He gave it back to you as Ellie laughed, “I suppose just this once…”

You hooked yourself back in and started the climb back up. You could hear them up there arguing about something, “Everything alright up there?”

“I’m gonna ask her!” Ellie’s voice became clearer.

You looked up hearing Joel call out for her to stop, but it was too late she was on the glass. Your eyes widened as you heard the cracking of added pressure. Everything slowed as you felt yourself fall briefly before snapping back and swinging.

You had to react quickly and brace yourself. You let out a scream of pain when grabbed ahold of Ellie. Something was not right in your arm. You groaned looking down at her, eyes full of fear, “Ellie…I got you…”

“Ellie!” Joel rushed over, looking down at you both, “Jesus…”

“Ellie, I’m gonna lift you up and I need you grab onto me as soon as you can.” You told her as you clenched your teeth.

“Okay…Y/N I’m sorry…” Ellie whimpered as you began lifting her up.

You couldn’t respond to her as pain ripped through your shoulder until you felt her reach out wrapping her arms and legs around you. You let out some labored breaths looking back up, “Joel…I can’t do this… my arm is shot…”

“Got it…just hold on.” He told you before disappearing.

“Not going anywhere…” You sighed patting Ellie’s arm, “Are you alright?”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…” She whispered into your shoulder.

“It’s okay…how about you pay me back by telling me what you were arguing with Joel about?” You groaned as they jerked upward. You had to admit it, Joel was a force of nature when motivated.

“I don’t think Joel would like that…” Ellie peeked at your face.

“Aw come on, Ellie…not even-” You stopped when you heard the screech from below. You looked down slowly seeing a runner. You thought you’d been lucky only seeing clickers. You assumed that no one had been around recently enough to be a runner…you were wrong…

“Joel!” You called up to him, “Ellie, you’re going to have to try and climb.”

“What!?” She shook her head, “No way! There’s no way I can do that.”

“Ellie!” The rope jerked you up again, there was still a ways to go, “Kiddo…you’re going to have to. I’m not sure this rope is gonna hold us much longer…You have to get up there no matter what.”

Another jerk on the rope, at least Joel was still able to do something. You pulled your gun out as you looked down again seeing more infected running into the room, and worse yet, a bloater. You cursed, “Ellie climb!”

                                 ******************************************

“Fuck! God…dammit…mmm…” You let out a long painful breath clutching back of the chair after Joel had set your shoulder back in place.

“Sorry…” He muttered stepping off to the side of you pulling out an rag fashioning a sling for you.

“It’s fine…definitely had worse. Shouldn’t have waited this long is all.” You told him as he helped put the sling on, “Thank you…”

“It’s not a problem.” He watched you sit down in the chair, “Ellie is real grateful for the new clothes…”

“You know despite everything there at the end, it was a good haul. I think we’ll be set for a while.” You looked up at him as he started looking through the clothes you’d gotten for them, “I had to guess for a couple things…pretty sure I’m right.”

He glanced over to you catching your smirk as he lifted up a package of boxers, “They’ll work…”

“Don’t lie, you’re excited about it.” You smiled when he chuckled, “Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.” He set everything down turning toward you.

“Can you untie my shoes? I wanna put on some clean dry socks.” He stared at you for a moment before grabbing a crate and sitting down untying your shoes, “You know my favorite thing about Jackson, is the fact that I can take my shoes and socks off when I sleep.”

“Really? That’s your favorite thing?” He gave you a funny look, “I figured it’d be heat and showers…”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, those are perks, but…” You smiled as he slipped your shoes off. You looked out the window thinking about it, “Something about free toes while you sleep…when you’re out here you have to be ready to move at all times. There you can relax enough to keep your shoes off.”

“I guess that does sound nice.” He reached up for a new pair of socks. He eyed you for a moment before taking your foot again giving it a squeeze rubbing his thumb into your arch. You let out a gasp and he paused, “Did…that hurt?”

“Uh…” He stared at your flushed face, “no, the opposite…”

“Good…” He smirked and began massaging your foot again. You let out a soft moan, “Thank you…”

“What?” You looked at him having a hard time focusing.

“For everything you’ve done so far.” He kept moving your foot around his hands, “I know I was a bit of a jackass when you first joined us…”

“A bit…hmm that’s putting it lightly…” You shut your eyes letting out another groan as he went deeper.

“All that aside…couldn’t have done this without you, and the detours were necessary. And Ellie has definitely taken to you…” He told you as he moved his hand up to your calf getting another gasp, “That hurt?”

“…n-no…” You looked at him, “…it’s just…you know it’s been awhile since…s-since someone has uh…touched me…my legs are…sensitive…”

“Sensitive…” His voice rumbled a little as he moved his hands again feeling you tense up, “Sergeant…are you…”

“Joel…” His eyes met yours seeing how flustered you were, “W-what are you doing?”

“I think you know…” He whispered finding a knot working on it.

You pulled your leg away from him before leaning forward reaching for the socks. He scooped them up, holding them just out of reach, “Joel…”

“Admit it…” He stared into your eyes seeing what he wanted. What he hadn’t had in years…and he wasn’t talking about sex…it was the connection. He didn’t know how it worked, but after you saved Ellie the first time and integrated in their little unit, he felt a pull to you.

You stared into his eyes a minute longer before licking you lips, “Keep’em…”

He grabbed you by the neck keeping you close. Your eyes narrowed on him until his lips found yours. Your free hand pushed against the center of his chest pulling away speaking up, “What are you doing Miller?”

“It’s Miller now? Second ago, you were calling me by my first name.” He held you in place staring into your firey eyes.

“A mistake I won’t make again…l-let go.” You pushed again but he held you firm, “Jo…Miller…we can’t do this…”

“Why?” He watched a bit of that wall fall down, “What’s stopping us?”

You stayed silent for a moment before taking in a deep breath, “Attachments get people killed…it’s bad enough that I feel overprotective of that kid and I’ve just met her…I can’t…we can’t do that to her. It has to be about her. You know that…”

Every ounce of him wanted to be selfish. Every fiber called out to just hold you, kiss you…claim you in ways that both of your would feel it for days…but…you were right. Ellie had to come first. She was so important to this world…she could save it.

He let you go…

[hollenka99]

The One Where Jackie Takes Each Day As It Comes

Summary: Chapter 1. Jackie may not have a home but he’s meeting some friendly faces.

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

Spotting all the daily newspapers declare it was February 13th 2019 that first morning had been rough. Part of Jackie had wanted to believe it was a really elaborate prank. But the lads wouldn't be able to do something like that. Especially given the state they'd gotten themselves in at Stuart's party. Maybe it hadn't been a bad thing that Jackie decided to go easy on the alcohol. At least he didn't enter the next century completely hammered. Seeing couples out on Valentine's Day causes him to reflect. He spent that day missing Chris, which he had been in two minds about. And Nate. God knows how he'd be able to return home to 1986, if he could at all. Perhaps getting thrown three decades into the future was the thing he needed to sort that mess out internally. The risk of the band going their separate ways because two members broke up sounded more attractive now. Sure beat them disbanding because the drummer disappeared indefinitely or was presumed dead. Yeah, he would split from Chris to be with Nate if he had the chance now. It was the old question niggling in his mind: didn't he deserve to be with the one who made him happier than the other? Not like all that relationship drama mattered much when he had no worldly possessions except for his clothes now. Fuck the shit with those two anyway. He'd rather have Caoimhe in his arms any day. Whatever happens to her with him gone, Jackie hopes she is kept safe and loved. Okay, so maybe he was going to get teary about some things. There was no point exhausting himself with tears regarding all this. How would giving himself a massive headache help matters? It got worse the more he accepted his drastic life change. Dwelling on it all hurt. Bridget, Annette and Spencer must all be adults by now. His friends were in their 50s, like he should be himself. They all must be unrecognisable to him now. Like he said, dwelling on the currently inaccessible past was redundant. Instead, he did his best to find somewhere dry to sleep at night. Days were spent on the lookout for food. At least there was a water fountain near the bus station. It's fine. It's not like this is his first time taking each day as it came. He'll manage, one way or another. It's while Jackie is preoccupied with drinking someone's discarded hot chocolate that a man approaches him. The stranger's curls remind him of how his own hair used to be, prior to its current style. Freckles litter his face too. The smile seems genuine but he's been in this situation before. Jackie decides to cautiously give this stranger the benefit of the doubt. "You know how to play guitar?" American? Canadian? He doesn't know enough about those accents to distinguish them. "...Yes." "Here." The guy holds out his guitar case. "I don't need the change anymore. Got a decent job now and all that." "Thank you but I can't." "You look like you could do with a source of income. Stealing isn't exactly a reliable method of feeding yourself. Which reminds me..." An oat bar is retrieved. Through part of the plastic wrapping, it is visibly crumbling. "I'll admit, not in the best condition. Sorry about that. Still, please take it." Well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth and all that. "Thanks." "No problem. I'm Joel, by the way." He winks, heading a few feet away. "Jackie." The ground crumbles in front of where Joel stood. Straight up vanishes as if it hadn't existed in the first place. It wasn't like Jackie had never met someone with powers before but... it was certainly impressive to see this sort of stuff first hand. The outstretched leg, meant to be taking a step into oblivion, is retracted. There is a pause. Joel turns to face him once more. Still there is continued hesitation. "Listen, I shouldn't be saying this but... things are going to change soon. Just be careful. Anti's about and he likes targeting people who can uh, easily disappear." "Anti?" "There's a killer on the loose and I'd hate to see your face on the news for all the wrong reasons." And like that, Joel hops backwards into the hole. Jackie takes his advice and plays during the day. Playing acoustic guitar simply makes him miss rehearsals with the lads. Guitar wasn't even his instrument. That had been drums. Even so, their type of guitar had been electric. Not much comes from busking. He's rusty, he knows. He continues playing songs he recalls off by heart in the hope of earning a pound here and there. He supposes the public secretly question why he sang nothing but hits from 30 years ago. Days blur. The last time he'd bothered to check the date it had been the 21st. He didn't keep track of how many days ago that was. The wind has been blustery all day. It was for this very reason that Jackie had spent the majority of it as sheltered as he could. He notices a man passing by his spot who seems unaffected by the bad weather. He walks by as if they hadn't been suffering strong winds recently. That's not the only odd thing about the stranger. His choice of fashion is very interesting. His entire outfit is purple apart from the covered half of his face and his gloves. The white mask resembling a cat's face reached the top of his cheeks. To complete the look, the mask extends into triangular ears. Jackie feels the guy hitting his head must hurt even more with those attached. Jackie's presence must have been caught in his peripheral vision. Cat Guy halts and turns to him. Surprise transforms into a warm smile on his face. "Hey, I don't think I've seen you around here before. I'm guessing you haven't been living like this for long?" "About a week or two. Haven't been counting." "Tell me you at least have something to cover yourself with at night." "I try to find somewhere relatively warm. Ish." "Dude, it's February." "Yeah, tell me about it." Cat Guy removes his backpack. From it, he retrieves a water bottle and a blanket. "Good thing I tend to carry some stuff around. Ham or cheese?" "What?" "Sandwich." The stranger presents him with the gifts. Once Jackie takes the blanket and water, the superhero holds out an object encased in tin foil. "I tend to make ham and cheese ones. You're not vegan or a lactose intolerant vegetarian, are you?" "No. I'll uh... take the ham, thanks." "Oh, by the way, what's your name?" He could say John. Or Bartholomew. He doesn't have to say Jackie. Shit, he could say his name was Sean if he wanted, seeing as that was another form of his name. He didn't have to even provide a name that was half true. But eh, fuck it. It's not like this guy will find a Jackie Mann born in Ireland during the late 90s. "Jackie. And what should I call you, Mr Super Cat?" "Super Cat, wow." He laughs. "That's a new one. Well, I'm known as the Magnificent Cat around here. A bunch of people shorten it to Cat." Cat? Yeah, that sounds cool. The superhero carries on with his day a minute or two afterwards. He sees him tossing a sandwich and making brief conversation with the black woman situated on the corner of the street. Mondays and Thursdays rapidly become Jackie's favourite days of the week. Cat always swung by at some point in the day, making sure those living outside had certain necessities like food or some money. He had a habit of apologizing for not being able to give more than £5, as if that was a tiny amount to provide to each homeless person he catered to around the city. They typically talk but it never lasted long before Cat had to carry on with his rounds. Once, the superhero had to excuse himself due to a burglary being reported. Jackie also liked seeing this other guy who kept popping up over the days. They'd first met when Jackie had been performing Billie Jean. Marvin was a really nice, frequently sparing 2 or 3 pounds whenever he passed by Jackie. There were also their conversations. The topic didn't matter. They also varied in length but by far fulfilled his social quota better than Cat's busy schedule could. It was pleasant to have someone to talk to. Either way, he had two people in his corner which was two more than he'd expected. The first week of April is laden with rain. Waking up to a damp blanket sucked but it was hardly like he had anything else to cover himself with. At least it was gradually warming up now. The last thing Jackie wanted was hypothermia, let alone getting sick in general. He must be getting his days mixed up because he thought Cat's last visit was on a Thursday. Yet here he was, walking around as he tended to do. Jackie didn't hear him chatting with anyone else like he'd expected him to. It didn't matter. It was getting fairly late anyway. It wasn't as if Cat was prohibited from strolling around in his costume. Plus, he was under no obligation to be as social as he typically was. Saying hi to him as he passed wouldn't hurt though. "Cat! It's good to have a dry spell in the middle of all this bad weather, huh?" Jackie chuckles. "How are things going?" The superhero halts abruptly at this. It's almost like he didn't expect Jackie to be there. That was a little odd because this was his usual spot. However, he decided to brush it off as Cat having a long day. His theory is further solidified when he doesn't seem as in the mood to talk today. "Hey. Things are good." Cat smiles thoughtfully. "Actually, I've been meaning to show you this new community centre that opened recently. They're letting people sleep there if they want. It's technically within walking distance from here but it's much easier to get there by car. Want me to take you there?" He obliges Cat's generosity. They chat about how foot traffic had significantly dropped in the past few days due to the downpour. Cat points out his black car. He motions to Jackie that he'd be sitting at the back because unfortunately, there was a bunch of clutter in the front. The door is red when he grabs the handle. A couple blinks confirm it is still red. The darkness of the evening must have been confusing his ability to see colours properly. It also may be linked to this headache that's appeared out of nowhere. He really hopes this isn't a sign the rain has negatively affected his health. He'd rather focus on how lovely the interior of Cat's car was. The doors lock internally. He moves his head to direct a remark about it to Cat. Except it's not the superhero at all. There was no costume, only a dark hoodie. The first feature that causes him to stare when Cat faces him were those eyes. Was there even anything other than black in them? The hair too. He's never seen Cat without his mask on but he didn't think it would be dark green. Had Cat looked so pale all those other times? He's not certain. He definitely knows that grin belongs in Hell. "Funny how easily people will follow you if they think you're a friend. Isn't it?"