#joel love and monsters | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ateotd-izzy · 1 year ago

Text

anti-hero | joel dawson x fem!reader

“i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving and life will lose all its meaning”

after everything that had happened to you over the last 7 years in the literal apocalypse, you’ve developed some serious issues with trust.

“it’s me, hi, i’m the problem, it’s me”

and maybe a few insecurities too. but that could just be your fault.

“at tea time everybody agrees”

so when you and your boyfriend joel go out to the surface to find his ex-girlfriend aimee, the only person left from his old life, you start feeling like, well, a problem.

“i’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror”

warnings: insecure reader?? idk none really

“it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero”

☾

you followed behind joel as he walked ahead, looking down at the map your colony had given the two of you.

he was so dead-set on going to find aimee and her colony that you only went with him because you knew there was a chance that if you didn’t, you would never see him again.

but there he was, happy and oblivious as he walked down the overgrown street.

what if he didn’t want you there? what if he just wanted to go alone to get away from you? what if he wanted to leave you behind? what if he still liked aimee? what if-

“y/n?”

you looked up to see joel staring back at you expectantly. he had stopped walking and was now looking back at you.

“hmm?”

“i asked if you’re okay.” he repeated, taking a few steps over to you. “are you?”

“yeah, joel, i’m fine.” you smile at him and he smiles back.

“you sure?” he asked, pushing a bit of hair away from your eyes.

“yes, i’m sure.”

“good.” he pecked your lips before taking your hand in his. “come on.”

he seemed like he still loved you, but what if he was just pretending because you were there and he didn’t want to hurt your feelings? what if he’s just a really good actor?

you tried to push those thoughts from your head. at least for the time being.

the more your trip had gone on, the worse you felt.

you had major anxiety over the entire situation, and you felt horrible because the closer you got to the beach meant the closer you were to aimee.

and you could not stop thinking about how either of you could die at any moment, even with the help of two strangers you had met.

joel seemed over the moon the closer you got to the beach and he would keep on talking about aimee as you walked.

“you know, she actually got me these pencils.” joel told you as he drew the large frog-like creature the two of you had encountered just a few days earlier into his book.

the dog you had found, boy, was curled up by your leg as you ate.

clyde and minnow, the two strangers who had been helping the two of you survive for the last day or so, were sat on the opposite side of the fire.

“yeah, you mentioned that already, kid.” clyde mumbled, his mouth full of the beans he was eating. “i think your girlfriend’s getting sick of it.”

your head shot up, scaring boy for a moment, while joel’s turned to look at you.

“i’m fine. i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you shrugged it off, even if it were true.

you didn’t need joel to know about your worries or insecurities when it came to aimee.

he just seemed so excited and you felt like maybe you were the one thing that was stopping him from feeling happy.

so instead you focused on the dog in your lap, stroking and playing with boy until your small group had to leave.

as clyde and minnow led, boy running circles around the young girl, joel fell back to walk beside you.

“what’s going on with you?” he asked softly. “you okay?”

you nodded and joel gave you a look.

“i’m fine.” you insisted.

“you know you can talk to me… right?”

his words sounded genuine, and his facial expression was easily readable. he looked concerned.

“yeah, of course.” you put on a smile. “don’t worry, joel.”

you were no longer with clyde and minnow when you and joel reached the old broken down motel you decided to stay at for the night.

it was storming outside as you, your boyfriend, and your dog ran for shelter.

joel had been extra happy since he had killed one of the monsters and saved boy.

“wow.” joel breathed out, looking at the rain, and you tore your eyes away from him to look out at the sky.

rain was something you had missed from the outside world.

“you know, i haven’t felt the rain in seven years.” joel said to boy and you just kept watching the storm. “pretty cool. pretty cool.”

joel then wrapped his arms around your body and sat his chin on your shoulder. he pressed a short kiss to your neck, and you didn’t move.

your attention was entirely focused on the rain. you had forgotten how much you had loved it.

back when you were a teenager, you used to sit by your window whenever it would storm and just watch the rain, soft music playing from your headphones.

it was your favorite weather.

“how’re you doing?” joel asked quietly and you turned your head a little.

“i’m fine.” you responded, ignoring the few tears that had pricked in your eyes due to all the emotions you had been feeling.

“hello.” a sudden robotic voice spoke from behind you and joel spun around, letting his arms fall from your waist.

joel started walking inside, towards the voice, and you sat down, watching the rain fall.

you could hear some kind of electronic whirring, but didn’t turn your head.

“holy shit. you’re alive.” joel’s voice came from behind you. “i mean… you’re on.”

“i have 51 minutes of power left. what is your name?”

“uh, i’m joel. my name is joel.”

after he introduced himself, you turned your head. boy came and curled himself up on your lap, letting you pet him.

you didn’t listen to what was going on behind you until joel called your name.

“y/n, you gotta come in here.” he chuckled. “it’s… it’s a real mav1s.”

you stood up, being careful not to hurt boy as you did so, and walked inside, sitting beside joel on the springy mattress.

“mav1s, this is my girlfriend, y/n.” joel introduced with a smile.

“hello, y/n.”

“hi.” you mumbled.

“joel, besides conversing with me, for which i am eternally grateful, may i ask what you are doing outside of your colony?”

“yeah, um…”

“did you steal food?” the mav1s’s eyes narrowed.

“no. no, i didn’t steal any food.” joel responded and you couldn’t help but snicker at his tone.

joel looked at you, noticing the fact that he hadn’t heard you laugh in quite a while.

he then looked back at the mav1s. “y/n and i are actually… on a quest. to find a girl. um, an old friend of mine, actually.”

“how lovely! what is her name?”

“uh, aimee. with one i and two e’s.”

you kissed joel’s cheek and walked outside again. you sat on the ground, right on the edge of the concrete so the rain would fall against your head.

you hadn’t realized just how long you had zoned out for until you heard joel bringing mav1s outside and sitting her on the couch.

“i, uh, i need to pee.” joel picked up his crossbow and started walking away. “i’ll be back.”

was he leaving? oh, my god, was he ditching you?

“is something troubling you, y/n?” mav1s asked as you watched joel walk inside. “you can tell me anything, as i am an empathetic listener.”

you stood up as the rain slowed down and sat beside the mav1s on the old couch.

“also, my memory banks will be permanently erased in 14 minutes.”

you sat quietly for a moment before looking at the robot.

“did joel talk to you about aimee much?”

“only for a moment. he talked to her on his radio. why do you ask?”

“do you think he… likes her?” you asked.

“yes, i do think he likes his friend, as he-”

“no, no. no, mav1s, i meant, like… do you think he has, like, romantic feelings for her?”

“what makes you ask that?”

“before everything that happened, and before he met me in our colony, joel and aimee were together. aimee was his girlfriend before i was.” you sighed and leaned back in your seat. “i just… do you think he’s gonna leave me for her?”

“while he was talking to aimee on his radio, joel spoke very fondly of you.”

“am i crazy to be totally freaking out that joel’s gonna leave me forever?”

“what?” joel asked as he approached you again. you hadn’t even noticed him appear.

you went quiet. “nothing. it doesn’t matter.”

he sat himself beside you. “y/n, i’m never gonna leave you. why would you even think that?”

you looked down at your lap and shrugged. he crouched in front of you to meet your eyes.

you sighed at the confused look on his face. joel was always so clueless.

“aimee.” you answered.

“huh?”

“do you still have feelings for her?”

joel was silent for a moment, staring into your eyes. worry took over your features as you searched his face for some kind of answer to your question.

then a smile grew on joel’s face, which turned into a chuckle.

“what?” you asked and joel shook his head.

“nothing, you’re just funny.”

“joel, i’m being serious. why are you coming all this way for her? do you still have feelings for her?” you stared down at him and he rested his hands on your shoulders.

“y/n, i only have feelings for you. i swear.” his smile had softened as he spoke. “aimee’s someone from my past. yes, i dated her when i was 17, but that’s different now. i only want you. not aimee, not anybody.”

“then why..?”

“she’s my friend, and it’s been like 7 years. i just wanted to see what it’s like out here, and i haven’t seen anyone i knew before all this in over half a decade.”

joel frowned and put a hand on your cheek.

“i guess i just got excited. i forgot to ask if you were even okay with all this.”

a smile tugged on your lips. “it’s fine, joel.”

“i love you, okay?” he told you, his voice honest. “i love you.”

“i love you too.” you whispered out and leant forward to wrap your arms around his neck.

he hugged you tight and pulled you to your feet.

as he held you, he slowly rocked the two of you back and forth.

music slowly started to play, coming from mav1s, and joel smiled before spinning you around.

it was raining more, and joel pulled you out from under the shelter and into the rain.

his hair stuck to his face as he smiled, leaning forward and pecking you on the lips.

“you’re the only one for me, okay? don’t you ever doubt that for a second.” he mumbled into your ear as the two of you danced. “you’re my girl.”

you smiled and lifted your hand from his shoulder to push his hair from his eyes.

the two of you danced in the rain until mav1s’ power ran out and the music abruptly stopped.

taglist: @brvceyamada

a/n: how has this been in my drafts since june…

#joel dawson x reader #joel dawson #love and monsters #dylan o’brien x reader #dylan o’brien #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski x reader #midnights #taylor swift #midnights taylor swift #anti hero

305 notes · View notes