#joe read somewhere that a person needs at least 4 hugs a day and he took that as a personal challenge

[headcanonthings]

Joe: okay, two person huddle Booker: you can’t huddle with only two people, this is just a hug

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27,  Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35,  Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44,  Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47

AO3

@theministerskat , my Detroit airport and Ann Arbor specialist, thank you so much for your help!

Chapter 48. Closer

“Gimme a ticket for an airplane, I ain’t got time to take the fast train. Lonely days are gone – ”

“Lamb! Stop it!”

“What?” My uncle looked at me, with a most innocent face. “What’s wrong with The Box Tops? I’m trying to get you in the mood for your flight!”

“I am in the mood, I don’t need your singing to help me!” I huffed, looking out of the car window.

Will it be raining in Michigan, too?

Lamb was driving ridiculously slow, casually tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he sang, when all I could think of was reaching the airport and getting on the plane that would take me to Jamie.

Well, I wouldn’t get exactly on that plane.

The first plane would get me to London. Then a second one would whisk me across the Atlantic to Chicago. And finally, after a third flight from Chicago to Detroit, I would finally get to see my Scot. Really see him. Run my hands through his red hair. Smell the spices of his perfume. Tickle him until he would beg for mercy. Kiss him until there would be no breath left in his lungs.

In twenty-two hours I would be standing in front of him - if I could still stand. I would most likely crawl to him, unable to move after travelling for so many hours.

I didn’t care. I would be in Michigan.

Total flying time was almost twelve hours. Total time of the journey, twenty-two. Cheap flights. Not everyone can handle it - or so I was told by Lamb.

Scot: Have you arrived at the airport?

Sassenach: Almost. You know how Lamb drives.

Scot: Tomorrow you’ll be here, babe.

Sassenach: I wish I could just apparate.

Scot: You haven’t taken an Apparition Test.

Sassenach: Since when do Gryffindors care about rules?

Scot: It wouldn’t do to get you here splinched, wee Ravenclaw witch.

I choked back a laugh that made Lamb shoot me a questioning glance. “I haven’t seen you so happy since you got your letter from Oxford. Which was almost a month ago, if I remember correctly.”

“More than a month,” I murmured. In retrospect, it seemed even longer.

The first day or two, I had spent the majority of my time on Google maps, mentally strolling around  Oxford via computer screen. Then, I caught up with a few TV shows Jenny and Joe had been raving about. I read books that had nothing to do with human anatomy and physiology and enjoyed staying at home, a cup of tea and a hardcover in my lap, the rain pelting down on the living room windows.

Joe and Gail had left for New York, their semester starting when Jamie’s had. Jenny and Ian remained in Beauly after the summer had ended. They had both accepted their offers to the University of Edinburgh and they would come back in September, which was exactly when I would be leaving for Oxford. Jenny and I talked almost every day, but I missed having everyone in close proximity. It felt as though I had been left behind.

The flight to London was less than two hours and I had resolved myself to watching a movie, when the tiny lady sitting next to me started talking. I smiled politely and nodded more times than I could count, and kept making attempts to insert my headphones while I silently prayed that she would get the message. She didn’t. Her son was graduating and then getting married and “Oh ye can imagine, dearie, how many things remain to be done!” Even if I couldn’t imagine, I didn’t need to. By the end of our journey, she had listed and analyzed them all, pausing only once or twice. Most probably to breathe, I had thought. Her enthusiasm made me smile. Her nasal voice, however, made my head buzz by the time we arrived at Heathrow. Mrs Macallan - “Like the whisky, ye ken?” - was sweet and kind hearted, but I felt lucky to be getting away from her on my next flight.

After retrieving my oversized rucksack, and bidding her farewell, I walked around the airport, absentmindedly looking at window displays and testing several perfumes. Finally, bored and tired, I searched for a quiet place to sit.

Sassenach: Seven more hours in Heathrow.

Scot: In thirteen hours I will kiss the hell out of you.

Sassenach: Oh really?

Scot: Yes. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Sassenach: Me or the kissing?

Scot: Both.

Sassenach: Hmm where are you?

Scot: Just finished up at the pool. We’re going to a place called “Fraser’s Pub”!

Sassenach: So you’re already THAT famous there?

Scot: Aye, restaurants open in my honor. I can’t help it Sassenach.

Sassenach: Snob.

Scot: Oh, is that you Ms. ‘I’m studying at Oxford, you common peasants’?

Sassenach: Ass.

Scot: THIRTEEN HOURS!!

Sassenach: Twelve and forty-five minutes 😛

Scot: I love you, got to go, the guys have started making fun of me. Ttyl?

Sassenach: Okay. I’ll be right here.

A ridiculous picture followed right after that, with Jamie’s lips so close to the camera I could hardly recognize them. Then another one, with him and John smiling broadly, heads bent together. I sent him a picture of me cuddled up next to my huge grey and purple rucksack and then tried to get as comfortable as possible, determined to get some sleep.

It seemed I was one of those people who can sleep wherever and whenever they want, not allowing anything to disturb them. Not the endless amount of people passing by, not their phone ringing, not even announcements calling their name.

When I opened my eyes, my phone had fifteen unanswered calls, nineteen unread messages, and two missed alarms. The most terrifying of all, however, was the time.

I had ten minutes to be at my gate and I didn’t even know which gate I was supposed to be at.

I picked up my bag, hoisted it unceremoniously over my shoulder and started running.

I had struggled to sleep the last two nights, the excitement of visiting Jamie making dozing off an impossible task. And now that I had a plane to catch, I fell asleep in the airport, and slept for more than six hours!

Seriously, now?

I was the last person through the boarding gate and I was the only one who went through it gasping for breath. When I finally took my seat, I checked my phone. All the missed calls and messages were from Jamie, all saying pretty much the same thing.

Where are you?!

Sassenach: Just got on the plane. OMG THAT WAS SO CLOSE! I almost missed my flight. I can actually hear my heart beating inside my chest.

Jamie replied immediately.

Scot: You scared the shit out of me, do you know that? First, I was afraid that you’d miss the flight, then I was terrified that something happened to you.

Sassenach: I’m sorry. 😞

Scot: You better be.

Sassenach: I didn’t do it on purpose!

I quickly calculated the time in Ann Arbor.

Sassenach: Are you still out?

Scot: No.

Sassenach: You’re at home? Still awake?

Scot: Yes, guess why! Because my girlfriend is crazy, and she sleeps in airports like the dead!

I saw the three dots appear, then stop. My heart thumped inside my chest.

Scot: You just scared me, is all. It took all the nerve I had to stop pacing back and forth in the room, and that’s mostly because I woke John up at least three times. I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you.

Sassenach: I’m okay. I’m sorry I scared you so. I love you. gtg! Plane taking off. ❤️❤️

Scot: I will kill you when you arrive. Even before kissing you.

Sassenach: That will make a fool of you. You’ll miss my kissing you back.

I spent my time during the flight watching movies and sleeping. No one talked to me, apart from the stewardess with the impossibly perfect makeup, who came passing by every ten minutes with coffee or tea, food, more coffee or tea …

I only had an hour layover at O’Hare International Airport and I didn’t even stop to look around. One last flight - and a short one, at that.

One hour later I landed at Detroit Metro, murmuring continuously, “I’m here, oh my God, I’m here!”

My whole body ached from sitting for so long, and walking felt like an exotic exercise. I had been right in that I would be crawling once I got here.

But then, I wasn’t. I rushed off the plane and pushed my way to the tram, jumping into a car just before the doors closed. I followed the flow of the other passengers, feeling like herded cattle, and took the escalator down to the arrivals area.

The moment the escalator brought me low enough to see out across the great open space of baggage claim I saw him standing there, tall and beautiful, waiting for me. I felt a huge smile spread across my face and mentally urged the people in front of me to move faster. Finally, a kind of magic seeped into my muscles, pushing me forward, and the only thing I could do was run to him.

I dropped my bag just before I reached him and a moment later I was jumping into his arms, wrapping my legs around his body, relying on his strength to support my weight.

A crushing hug. And then we were kissing as if we were the only people in the whole terminal. Fierce and consuming, it was a kiss that tried to make up for all the lost ones, all those we had been sending to each other during the last month, vanishing somewhere in the space between us.

But this kiss was real and hot and powerful, filling our hearts with blood again, after more than a month when distance made their beating dull, normal.

“You’re here,” he whispered. “I can’t believe you’re finally here,” he added, echoing my thoughts. “I missed touching ye, Sassenach. My arms always feel so empty without ye in them.”

I looked at him for a long moment, my throat too tight to talk.

“Come,” he said, and bent to pick up my rucksack. “We’ve a bus to catch.”

His hand was warm when he took mine and we walked together towards the shuttle pickup area. It was silly, but even walking next to him felt different. As if I couldn’t discipline my feet and each step would be the first to start a dance.

We sat in the second to last row of the bus, desperate for some privacy. His hand perched on the inside of my thigh, drawing abstract lines that were driving me crazy. I leaned my head onto his shoulder, trying to be decent, but five minutes later I was biting and sucking his neck until I felt him shiver.

“What are the plans for today?” I asked, my voice low.

“Today we’re going back to my dorm and we’re not leaving the room at all.” He shot me a naughty glance, implying that I knew exactly what was going to happen in his room.

“What about John?” I asked, frowning.

“He won’t come back tonight.” Jamie’s owlish wink and the sly grin that followed suggested that he had taken care of everything.

“I’ve turned everything upside-down for him. Trust me to make a bad first impression.”

“Dinna fash, Sassenach. Ye’re doing John a favour,” Jamie said, his lip curling up as he looked out of the window.

“What do you mean?”

“Ye gave John the perfect excuse to stay over at another guy’s place. He’s on the team, too. And I think John was waiting for an opportunity to stay alone with Hector since the first time he saw him. He hasn’t admitted it yet, but I’ve seen the way he looks at him.”

“John is gay?” I asked when he finally finished. “You haven’t said anything!”

“What was I supposed to say, Sassenach? ‘Claire, let me introduce ye to my gay roommate?’”

“Well, no, but… Anyway. And how about Hector? Do you think that he returns John’s feelings?”

“He’ll be a fool if he doesna. John is amazing. It’d be like you giving me your number and I never calling you. Impossible.”

I laughed at that, shaking my head. My curls escaped from my unruly bun, but I didn’t care. Jamie liked them down. “Yeah, right. That being said by someone totally unbiased.”

He looked out at the winter landscape for a moment. Then, his eyes were back on me and he let out a long sigh. “I’m so happy ye’re here, mo chridhe.” He squeezed my hand and bent his head to kiss me.

I couldn’t get enough of his lips.

We got off of the bus and walked quickly towards his dorm, partly because we ached to be finally alone and partly because it was freezing cold outside.

“Why did you have to come here?” I asked, feeling my nose go Rudolf-red. “Hawaii is one of the States, too.”

“Oh, excuse me Sassenach for not getting a scholarship somewhere sunny!” Jamie smiled and pulled his beanie lower, to cover as much skin as possible.

“It would be a nice change to Edinburgh,” I murmured. He just squeezed me closer to his body.

As we walked, I was fascinated by how much of the campus was woven seamlessly into the city itself. Just off the main streets that were filled with restaurants and shops, were smaller homes all in a line, and then suddenly a university building would pop up with a distinctive blue and yellow sign out front.

We didn’t stop walking fast once we pushed through the entrance doors of Jamie’s dorm. He rushed me across the lobby to the elevators, only this time I was almost sure he was moving quickly as not to be stalled by any fellow Wolverines looking for greetings and introductions.

We reached his room unnoticed. Jamie tossed my rucksack into a corner and closed the door softly behind me. I stood still, looking at the room.

His place.

It wasn’t big, and the beds and two desks made it seem even smaller. But it was cozy and clean, and had something of him that made me feel comfortable. I turned to look at Jamie, and for the first time in a month, I felt like I was home.

“I missed you, you bloody Scot.” My whisper was more than a confession. It was the profession of the gift I had been bestowed. The gift of having him in my life. Of having a home.

“I missed ye too.” He smiled in his crooked way, the way I had fallen in love with. “More than ye’d ever imagine.”

And then his lips were on mine, tender and honest. The connection we had longed for, when all we could do was rely on a screen to see each other. Now, we could feel. Our love was tangible, filling the room as our breaths mingled, as our hands intertwined, as our hearts beat together, their own song.

It didn’t take long for our kiss to turn wild.

Jamie shed the outer layers of my clothing, murmuring that I was a wee onion or something. I smiled and helped him, taking off some of his own clothes as well. It was when his hand found its way underneath my sweater that I yelped.

“Cold! Freezing hands!” He looked at me with a pout that wasn’t nearly cute enough to make me relent. “Don’t even think about it!” I said, pushing against his chest with a pointed index finger.

Jamie laughed and swiftly took me off my feet, eliciting yet another yelp from me. He lay me carefully on his bed and took off my sweater.

“No hands,” he promised, raising them in the air as he bent to kiss my neck. His lips moved to my chest, teeth softly biting my nipples, and I slightly regretted keeping his hands off the game. I needed him to touch me.

I squirmed beneath him, making my intentions obvious.

“Oh, no,” Jamie said, sucking my breast in a way I was sure would leave a hickie. “I spent so much time this past month telling ye what I was planning to do to ye when I’d have ye close again. So much time, seeing ye touching yerself and wishing it would be my hand instead of yers. I mean to take my time, mo nighean donn.”

A soft bite and a wicked grin. His eyes burned in mine.

“I mean to lick ye, kiss ye, taunt ye, feel yer smooth skin against mine and leave my marks on ye. I mean to hear yer moans and whimpers fill the room. And then, Sassenach,” he paused for effect, and I ground myself against him. We were both ready. And all the talking during our video calls didn’t go to waste, after all. “Then, I mean to fuck ye and feel ye fucking me until we canna move our limbs anymore.”

Everything went according to the plan.

Chapter 49

[sleepyverstappens]

Let me share this whole new world with you (Chapter 3/6)

Title: Let me share this whole new world with you

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

Rating: Gen/PG

Word Count: 5482

Tags: Oliver Verstappen-Ricciardo, Original Child Character, 5+1

Summary: Time for some home GPs :D

A/N:  Just a reminder, Max talks Dutch with Oliver when he’s younger/alone with him. Apart from a few Dutch sentences/words, that should be clear enough through context, but will also be translated in the end notes, most of it is written in English but in italics to indicate that it’s spoken in Dutch.

Read chapter 3 or Read from the start

2) Melbourne, Zandvoort & Monaco 2024

Melbourne 2024

Oliver’s tiny hand is clutching onto his own as they walk into the Red Bull garage, big headphones already covering his ears as engines are revved. His wispy blond hair is almost white from the sun it had gotten during the winter break spend in Australia and is now starting to fall over his eyes, in desperate need of a haircut.

“You stay with Vicky yeah, Papa’s gotta go drive the car now,” he said trying to push the strands of hair from Oliver’s eyes one last time.

“‘kay Papa, be safe,” the little boy mumbled back, the words always tugging at his heartstrings. He’d picked them up from his mum, the words always said by her every time he stepped into the car, whether it was in person or via text.

“I will Oli.”

After 2 weeks of testing in Spain and plenty of time spend in the Red Bull and Renault factories, winter break was now really over, the first practice session of the season about to start. Pre-season hadn’t been the easiest on them. Even with Enstone and Milton Keynes only being an hour apart, their rental place somewhere in the middle, they’d barely gotten the time to spend together, both of them exhausted from long days at the factory. They’d both crashed pretty much as soon as they’d managed to get Oli to sleep. At least with testing they’d had to be on track opposite each other, one of them getting to spend their day with their son as the other worked up miles on the racetrack.  

Now though they were finally back in Melbourne. He loved Melbourne, a fresh start to a new season where everything was possible again. Over the years he’d been with Daniel it had become sort of a home race for him as well. A home race without the busy schedule that Zandvoort or Spa brought. While for Daniel it meant a jam packed schedule and barely any time for his family, for Max it meant he got to spend some time with his extended family. Grace, Joe and Michelle always happy to have Max to keep them company whilst their son and brother was rushed about the circuit. And of course these last two years they had all been excited to get to spend some extra time with their grandson and nephew as well.

He grabs his helmet and glances back at his son one more time, the boy happily playing with the toy car his assistant had given him. The bright yellow Renault shirt he’s wearing is clashing terribly with the colours around them, but even though Oliver had insisted on going with his papa today he’d refused to wear the Red Bull shirt to go along with it. No amount of playful teasing from the Red Bull crew had made him want to change it either, the boy happy in his ‘nana shirt.

With how quickly Oliver seemed to change his mind nowadays, the terrible twos finally rearing their ugly head just a few months before he would turn three, he would probably insist on wearing his Red Bull shirt at Renault on race day. He might be a handful at times, but Max loved him with all his being and he loved having him at the track with them.

---

Come race day he’s on his own at the garage, Oliver at Renault to spend time with Daniel’s family, it’s his home grand prix after all. It doesn’t mean Max doesn’t miss seeing his boy at the back of the garage though, his toothy grin the last thing he sees before strapping himself into the number 33 car. It makes him miss the old days sometimes, the days when he’d only have to look towards the other side of the garage to see curly hair and a bright smile. What he’d give to have been able to share that with his son, their son. Both of them giving him a kiss on each cheek for luck before they jumped into the car on their respective side of the garage.

It would never be like that, Alex now a permanent fixture on the other side of the garage, the man now his teammate for longer than Daniel had been. Them parting ways, so to speak, had probably been for the best. Made it easier for them to separate work and home, their battles now with their respective teams rather than each other.  

He’s shaken from his thought by Tom handing him his helmet, reminding him that there was installation lap to be driven, the clock steadily ticking down to 16.10.  

Zandvoort 2024

Home races were always special, while he was lucky to have fans come out in droves to quite a few tracks, the stands turning orange all over the world, Zandvoort was something else. The success of the first three years had made sure that Zandvoort would be a permanent fixture on the race calendar for the foreseeable future. And whilst the crowd was still mostly orange in its 5th year on the calendar he was happy to see that more and more different coloured specks had started to show up in the crowd. It’s what made the sport so special after all, there weren’t just the fans of two teams there like in football, there was a mixture of fans, even people who changed their shirts on each day of the weekend not being able to choose a favourite.

It was still all very hectic though, he’d flown into the Netherlands on Monday and had had pretty much every minute of his day scheduled from then on. Daniel and Oliver had followed on Wednesday, the hugs from his family a welcome reprieve from all the formal handshakes and (fake) nicery from the last few days.

Today hadn’t been much better, a room of bored looking media people staring at him, Lando, George and Daniil followed by a multitude of microphones waiting for him in the press pen. The pen was empty of other drivers by the time he’d been done with his last interview. He’d looked over at Vicky expecting her to tell him where he was needed next, but she hadn’t had anything planned for the next hour or two. Which is how he’d found himself here, his shoes getting filled with sand as he climbed down from the dune and onto the beach.

It wasn’t all that warm yet, the winds were strong and would surely be a big factor during the weekend, making him zip up his hoodie as he walked towards his family. He could see Victoria chasing after Oliver near the shore, his mum and Daniel chatting, sat atop a giant spread out blanket.

None of them had spotted him yet, only Victoria knowing that he had found himself some free time and was coming over, happy to help him surprise the others. He continued walking towards them, his shoes collecting more and more sand, and saw Oliver turn around still trying to avoid getting caught by his auntie. The second Oliver spotted him he was running towards him, yelling out Papa! and alerting the others of his presence. Max grinned as Oli jumped into his arms, pressing a kiss against the boy’s forehead as his son immediately started telling him all about his day.

“Hey,” he greeted his family, settling down next to them, Oli cuddling up on his lap.

“Hey, I thought you were busy for the rest of the day?” Dan asked him before pressing a kiss against his lips, a curious smile on his face when they drew apart again.

“I thought so as well, but Vicky doesn’t need me again until 4. Victoria told me you guys were on the beach and I didn’t want to miss that did I?” He addressed the last part to Oliver, bouncing him in his lap a little and ruffling his hair making the little boy giggle.

“Papa, kasteel?”

“You want to build a castle? Okay then go get your bucket.”

Soon enough not only his shoes were filled with sand, his hair and clothes covered by the sand as well, but an impressive, if he said so himself, sandcastle was standing proud in front of him.

“Come on Oli, let’s fill the moat to finish our showpiece.” He hoisted Oliver up onto his shoulders and ran over towards the sea, the plastic bucket hitting him in the head as he went, but the giggles floating along the wind more than made up for it.

The racing started tomorrow, the campsites already filled with thousands of people dressed in orange, but this right now is what he loved the most. He had never expected himself to love something more than racing, his whole life had been revolved around the sport, but now that he had this, a family of his own he’d give it up in a second if someone made him choose.

Monaco 2024

“Hello little man, are you lost?” They heard Lewis say, Oliver having ran right into him, the Brit’s hands reaching out for him before he could tumble over.

“Up?” Oli requested, hands already reaching up for Lewis, head tilted backwards with what were surely his best puppy dog eyes. They could see the other man melt before their eyes, one of Oliver’s many victims this weekend.

“You don’t have to,” Dan jumps in, but before the words could even fully leave his mouth Oliver was already in Lewis’ arms, the little boy happily snuggling his head against the man’s chest.

“It’s okay, I love kids, makes me miss when my cousins were this small. Don’t get me wrong I love playing soccer and games with them, but most of them are at that age now where they’re refusing cuddles.”

“Oh but you haven’t seen a two-year-old throwing a tantrum huh, uncle,” Dan said with a wink, clearly not having forgotten the fit Oliver threw earlier that morning, the boy refusing to eat his toast because it was cut into squares instead of triangles. Daniel had been close to pulling his hair out before Max had come into the kitchen after his shower and reminded him that squares could be cut into triangles, the boy’s cries stopping as soon as Max had cut the first one in half.  

Dan and Lewis fall into an easy conversation then, Oli sucking his thumb, eyes flicking between the two adults intently. Max should probably join in, instead of just standing here, but he can’t help but let his mind wander. He’d seen Lewis change a bit during this season, it was only the 7th race of the year, but the fact that these would be Lewis’ last races had shown a different side of the man. He would never refuse to talk to you if you started up a conversation before, but would usually stick to himself if he could. Nowadays he was happy to mingle with the rest of them. Noise cancelling earphones exchanged for friendly conversations on the drivers parades, relaxed walks through the paddock rather than quick scooter rides right into the garage. It made Max wonder whether he would change, once his time came. Not that that would be any time soon if it was up to him.  

Lewis’ announcement hadn’t exactly been a shock to people, 39 was already a pretty old age to retire, if you excluded Kimi of course. Still the knowledge that Lewis’ records would soon be up there ready and waiting for someone else to take them away again, had made the press go into overdrive, churning out article after article. Max didn’t really care about that though, he cared about the conversations he’d had with Lewis over the last few race weekends. About his plans to start his own fashion company, not just a fashion line but a proper brand of his own. The plan to travel to all the countries they’d been to so often but had never really gotten the chance to see properly. The wish for a child of his own, the registration for the adoption agency ready to be send off.

He’d not always liked the other man, had had more than enough moments where he’d despised him, but seeing him like this, happily chatting with Dan, Oliver now asleep in his arms, it made Max realise he would really miss him next year.

---

“Papa, kijk!” Oliver exclaimed as they crossed the street towards the harbour, the Red Bull yacht already pumping out music. That wasn’t what the little boy had spotted though, no he’d spotted the giant inflatable unicorn floating in the swimming pool.

“Wat is dat dan Oli?” They’d pretty early on decided to try and raise Oliver bilingual, Max talking only Dutch to him to try and get him to pick up Max’s native language alongside English. Max often tried to use German as well, after all now was the best time to try and teach their son more languages.

“Eehoon.”

“Eenhoorn, Oliver,” Max corrected him gently, the word still sounding silly to him in his mother tongue as well. “You want to go swimming sweetie?”  

Oliver nodded his head so excitedly Max was almost afraid it was gonna fall off. They had some time to spare between the last free practice session and qualifying. Whilst Oliver had of course been with them last year, this was the first time he really got to take in the Monaco grand prix weekend. The streets of his home transformed into the tracks where his fathers got to race their fast cars. He still didn’t understand it fully, the city not all that recognisable anymore after all, and this wasn’t the part of the city where they actually lived, but seeing the excitement on their son’s face never failed to make them melt.

They quickly changed Oliver into his swimming trunks, Red Bull branded floaties wrapped around his arms to go along with them. As soon as they reached the pool he was pointing at the giant unicorn again, clearly wanting to sit on it. They waited for it to slowly float its way to the side of the pool, the currents of people wading their feet in the water making it bop up and down in every direction before Daniel shouted for someone to push it towards them. No one was surprised to see Daniel there, even with it having been six years now since he’d gotten to swim into this pool himself. It wasn’t uncommon to see Daniel back at the Red Bull hospitality these days though, nor Max at Renault’s for that matter, having a child who wanted to see both of his daddies would do that for you.

Oliver’s giggles were barely audible over the music coming from the dj booth on the other side of the deck, but they managed to go straight through to Max’s heart anyway. The boy was now sat atop the floating animal, clutching onto its rainbow mane as Daniel pushed it around the edge of the pool, not caring about the people sitting in their way.

They finished the lap of the pool, Max taking hold of the unicorn as Dan took his shoes off to join him on the edge of the pool, and just taking it all in for a while.

“Papa, kiss!” Oliver requested excitedly, his tiny little body already leaning towards him. Max grabbed hold of him before he could fall off the floatie and pressed a kiss to his son’s lips.  They would need to go and prepare for quali soon, but right now as he sat on the edge of the pool, his feet in the warm water, his son happily splashing his feet into the water as he sat atop his unicorn, he couldn’t help but wish for more time.  

[topimagines]

Inferno

Heresy

Summary:  Where do people go when they die? Well, for the least lucky people in the world, hell is waiting. But what happens when these people do go to hell? And how did you end up there?    

Warning: death, hell, mentions of religion, language, mentions of suicide, adultery, ashley is back, graphic ish depiction of death, brendon being a cocky motherfucker 

A/N: do not repost any work on this blog without explicit permission from me or kat. I dont know how much i like this part but its here

Part 1// Part 2//Part 3// Part 4// Part 5// Part 6// Part 7// Part 8

"And that, more or less, is what happened," Brendon said.

"That's it?”

"You know sweetheart, you have quite the personality," Brendon stated, "You remind me of my old lover. Quite the spitfire, that girl." He took you by surprise and sat down, legs crossed over one another, on the ground. He looked up at you expectedly, eyes telling you to join him.

"How exactly do I have quite the personality?" You asked, taking a seat across from him, sitting the same way.

"Making my best Knight a hormone crazed teenager," he said with a chuckle, "If you saw his dreams, well, let's just say, he ain't getting in to heaven any time soon." Brendon, as opposed to the red and pink eyes you had seen before, had brown eyes. They glimmered in the light and looked as if they were as deep as the ocean, "Something on your mind, sweet cheeks?"

You did have something on your mind, and it wasn't why you were being taken to him, or why everyone was hiding things from you. No, in that moment, you only had one big, fat question. One you had on your mind as long as you had been in Hell.

"How did Tyler get damned to hell?"

"Oh sweetheart, that’s quite the story, you sure you want to hear it?"

"Either that or you let me wake up and I'll go take a nice swim."

Brendon looked deep into your eyes. No matter how fiendish the devil was, he couldn't read you, tell when you were bluffing, or read into you. Your file was the only thing he could read about you. He expected that, because he knew what you did while you were alive and what you were, but he did not know he'd be this susceptible to your charms.

If you could even call what you were doing charming.

"Well, it started when a truck ran a red light..."

-

A long time ago, a tragic accident took the lives of a famous band; Twenty One Pilots. A semi-truck ran a red light, hitting the side of the tour bus with such force, it flipped twice and landed belly up in the intersection.

Jenna Joseph was found dead on the scene, having broken her neck and suffered fatal brain damage that would have rendered her brain-dead if she hadn't suffered the neck injury. Tyler Joseph was pronounced dead on arrival to the hospital, his cause of death severe trauma to his head and abdomen. Josh Dun was in critical condition when he entered the hospital doors and died after his second surgery to stop internal bleeding. He was thrown out of the window of the bus, doctors were surprised he made it to the hospital alive.

Brendon found the files on his desk the morning after all three were officially pronounced dead. He sat down in his large black office chair and looked over the pictures on the front of each of the folders.

"Ashley, would you come here," he said into his intercom. Ashley, his secretary, slid into the room seconds later. Her pink eyes were drawn to the floor as she walked.

"Yes, Mr. Samael, sir?" She answered.

"Come around here, and don’t call me that. It's Brendon, now," he chuckled. Ashley quickly walked to his side of the desk and looked down at the folders, "Ok, so, here we have Jenna Joseph," he said, opening up the folder and laying it on the desk so Ashley could read it too, "repented for sins, was not a liar, didn’t participate in drug use, only had premarital sex."

"Sounds like she doesn’t belong in hell," Ashley said, pink eyes scanning the form laying in front of them, "More like a purgatory thing."

"My thoughts exactly, sweetheart," he said, "Alright, we'll send her file to Patrick. Now, Tyler Joseph," he closed Jenna's file and tossed it into his 'out' box. He picked up Tyler's manila folder and flipped it open, "My, oh my. Tyler, you're not who I thought you'd be."

"Is that a...?"

"That’s a stamp already damning Tyler to hell," Brendon said, "Father isn't too pleased with something Tyler did." Brendon flipped through the pages and whistled when he finally saw the fateful text, "Oh, damn."

"Oh, poor Tyler," Ashley said, her hand moving up to cover her perfect pink lips.

"Multiple suicide attempts, he went down for two minutes once," Brendon side, "He was doomed and didn’t even know it." He shut the folder and placed it in his 'in' box. He reached for the final folder, and before he flipped it open, he was shocked by just how thick the folder was, "Oh Josh, you've either been a very bad boy or you were awe-inspiringly charitable," he said before opening the folder, "Now, I was not expecting that."

"Adultery? He cheated on his partners?" Ashley asked, "Are you sure he isn’t an incubus?"

"No, it's very surprising, but he’s something else," Brendon said, "he was definitely a fighter, not a lover. But, he never beat a girlfriend. Or boyfriend."

"I've never heard of someone being sent to hell for just that, God is kind of lenient, so what is he?" Ashley stated.

Brendon chuckled, shaking his head at the young succubus, "God has his reasons, he gave this folder to me for one reason or another, we'll just have to find out."

"Good luck with that."

-

"And that, more or less, is what happened," Brendon said.

"That's it? Suicide attempts?"

"Dad isn't too pleased when one of his 'children' try to hurt themselves," Brendon answers, "Now, since I so gracefully gave you and Tyler only a week to get through my land of the dead, you are going to wake up in three..."

"Wait, I have more questions!"

"Two..." He stood from his spot across from you and fixed his perfect, red suit. His eyes flashed black as he stared you down. He had a smile on his face as the black room started spinning around you. The wind alone would have knocked you from your feet if you were standing, but Brendon stayed planted to the ground, smiling down at your confused form. You felt the dizziness increasing as the spinning got faster.

"Are you fucking kidding-"

"One... see you soon, baby girl."

-

You woke with a start. The dream was still fresh in your mind as you took in your surroundings. You had fallen asleep on one of the couches in the living room, on top of Tyler. You looked down at the demon, whose eyes were still closed and breathing was even. His face looked more peaceful than it ever had since the day you met and went through limbo. One of your arms was tucked under your head and the other was by your side, fingers intertwined with Tyler's. Tyler had an arm wrapped around your waist.

"Tyler..." You whispered, moving your hand from his to poke him in the face, "Ty Ty, wake up," you poked him again on his cheek.

His eyes slowly opened and he looked down at you, "what time is it?" He groaned. You shrugged your shoulders and moved to get off of Tyler's chest.

“We only have a six days left on our limit, so we best get going,” you stated, stretching and cracking your creaky bones after you stood.

“Oh come on, heresy is one of the smallest circles, no need to stop, we can stay in bed a few more hours,” Tyler groaned. He was comfortable on the couch, and he never noticed how much he truly missed cuddling with someone.

“We’re going, Tyler. We can stop somewhere after, since it’s so small.”

Tyler groaned once more before rolling off the couch, hitting the red carpet with a soft thud.

-

"Thanks for offering to walk us out, but you really didn't need to," Tyler said to Joe. He had insisted before you two had left that he would walk you to the border of Anger. You and Tyler had changed into some regular clothes, extras that Joe had from all the times he had visitors passing through (including Tyler, who visited multiple times), which was underwhelmingly a white t-shirt and some black jeans. You felt Eveningstar digging into your back slightly. You had tucked it into your waistband when changing, remembering that Tyler said to put it somewhere no one could get it. You had considered the front, but didn’t want to risk stabbing yourself in the chest if the sheath came off.

"I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you next to the pool, Brendon isn't pleased that I let her fall into the Styx," Joe chuckled drily, scratching the back of his neck as he walked with you. You were on the side closest to the wall of the indoor pool with Tyler holding your hand almost tight enough to cut off the circulation in your hand.

You continued to walk in silence on the concrete by the pool, paying no mind to the screams of the tortured souls and the evil laughter of water-based demons, torturing the angry people.

Once you reached the door with a neon red exit sign. The door was similar to the one you used to enter the ring. You turned to Joe and gave him a quick hug, thanking him for saving you from the Styx and giving you a place to sleep.

“No problem, girly,” he answered. He didn’t loosen his grip for a moment, and when you tried pulling away, he pulled you back in, and leaned in to whisper in your ear, “you be careful, okay? Remember everything Tyler said to you last night. You’re gonna need it.”

“How did you-“

“I guess it’s to let you go, before all Hell breaks loose!” Joe chuckled at his own pun, letting you go. Tyler rolled his eyes, and gave Joe a final pat on the back.

“We’ll come back to visit, promise,” Tyler said, “always do.”

Joe laughed and nodded his head before turning around and finally walking back toward the pool. Tyler took your hand and led you out of double doors that led to a short hallway. The hallway was a bright, neon yellow, and the carpet was bright red. The door at the end was yellow, but a little less bright and obnoxiously happy compared to the halls.

“Let’s get this over with,” Tyler sighed, opening up the door and leading you through to…

A field?

There was grass beneath your shoe clad feet and yellow flowers budding every few inches. There was a bright, red-orange tint from the sun, but everything was very happy looking.

“Don’t let it fool you, we haven’t walked far enough in,” Tyler said, tucking one hand into the pocket of his black jeans and took your hand into the other.

He led you farther and farther into the circle, and you finally saw what he was talking about. There were many tombs, close together, filled with flames lining the path you walked in. Tyler looked straight ahead as he walked, dragging you along behind him. It was eerily quiet, no demons to be found, not screams of the Damned, and no music playing from mysteriously placed speakers.

“This is why no one is assigned to this circle, they’d go absolutely mad with the silence,” Tyler said, his voice tense. As if he’d been holding his breath the entire time you had been in the circle.

-

Once you had finally exited the circle via the large entrance of a building similar to Ashley’s HQ, you and Tyler let out a giant sigh of relief. You looked around the building and immediately recognized it as the lobby to an upper class apartment complex that you and Tom had stayed in while you were filming in New York.

Weird, I wonder why this is here, you thought, maybe if Brendon visits again, I can ask him.

“Brendon sure changed this place,” Tyler said, “it’s been a long time since I’ve stayed here.” Tyler led you to the lift, clicking the up button. The lift dinged before opening up for you two to get in.

“I’ve stayed here before,” you whispered. Tyler looked at you with curiosity in his eyes, as if saying to go on, “me and Tom lived in this building in New York. It was really posh and high end.”

“Wasn’t expecting you to be a fat cat,” Tyler said with a chuckle.

“You don’t know a lot about me, then.”

[ashton-rap]

ashton rapine

Beginning

Age?: twenty-seven Piercings?: none Any tattoos?: two  Have they ever considered plastic surgery? What would they get done?: he likes himself the way he is Give 5 facts about their appearance: beard, dark brown hair, brown eyes, crooked smile, 5′10″

General

Favorite and least favorite holiday?: favorite: christmas, least: mother’s day What food can they never turn down?: bananas  What is their diet like? Are they vegetarian, vegan? he’s very healthy, chicken and fish only Are they more of a snacker throughout the day, or do they eat three meals and call it a day?:  snacker Where do they prefer to read? The sofa, in bed, at a table, on the porch, in a cafe?: anywhere Do they watch sports? Favorite teams?: no Do they have cable, or do they rely mostly on Netflix, Hulu, and other streaming services?: netflix, hulu, hbogo What are 3 Netflix shows they like?: more of a movie guy Hobbies and interests?: reading, writing, running, biking What social groups or activities do they attend?: parties? Are they a good cook?: very Do they like to take photos?: he’ll take photos of other people. none of himself. Favorite insult/cuss word?: fucking christ. Do they exercise? What do they do?: running, biking. Do they drink?: sometimes What kind of drunk are they?: messy If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere, what would they pack?: books, clothes, sunglasses

Childhood

What type of discipline were they subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?: a good mix Were they overprotected? Sheltered?: neither Did they feel affection or rejection?: both What was their family’s economic status?: lower class  Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Who do they hate? Why?: only child What do they think of their father? What do they love or hate about him?: best dad in the world. Their mother? What do they think of her? What do they love or hate about her?: she doesn’t exist to him

Children

What toys did they play with as a child?: board games, legos, gi joe Have they ever had an imaginary friend?: yes Did they have a lot of friends as a kid? Did they keep any of them into adulthood?: a lot of friends, none have stayed in contact since he moved Did they have pets as a kid? Do they have any now?: no pets What clique did they fit into in high school? Were they part of any clubs/sports?: he was part of the ‘british’ group, no sports or clubs  What degree do they have? GED, HS, College, Ph.D.?: ged, he dropped out of high school Do they like children? Do children like them?: loves kids, kids love him Do they have/want children?: he has a daughter, alex. he’s good with just one. What kind of parent are they/would they be?: he’s still learning his place.

Lust

Do looks mean anything to them? Could they fall in love with someone they thought was ugly?: looks aren’t too important to him. Do they like kissing in public?: yes. How many people did they kiss in 2012?: a couple. Virgin?: no. Have they had sex with a man?: define sex. Have they had sex with a woman?: yes. Have they been with someone older than them?: yes. Have they had sex this year?: yes. How many times did they have sex last year?: couple times. How many sexual partners did they have?: a handful. Foreplay, yes or no?: yes. What is their definition of having sex?: oral to intercourse. What is their definition of cheating?: having feelings for someone else. 

Crush

Do they get jealous easily?: depends. When is the last time they felt jealous?: he can’t recall. Do they forgive betrayal?: yeah probably. Have they ever been cheated on?: not sure. Have they ever cheated on someone?: yes. Have they ever cried over someone?: yes. Have they ever experienced unrequited love?: yes. Have they ever wanted someone they couldn’t have?: yes. Have they ever liked one of their best friends?: yes. Have they ever liked someone they didn’t expect to?: yes. Do they think someone has feelings for them?: not that he knows. Who is the last person they hugged?: alex. Who was their first kiss?: daycare. Do they have a crush on anyone?: eh. Describe their crush: n/a Name five people they find attractive: izzie, sam, kory, liv, lacey, norah, sofia. 

Love

Has anyone told them they don’t want to ever lose them?: yes. If their first love knocked on their door with an apology, would they accept and who would it be?: she doesn’t need to apologize. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for them?: loved him. Were they single at all this year?: yes. Do they want to be in a relationship in a year?: he loves relationships. What was their longest relationship? How long did it last?: sam, over a year. What has been the biggest age difference between them and one of their partners?: also sam, about 4 years. What’s their opinion on age differences in relationships?: as long as it’s legal. How many relationships have they been in?: four serious relationships.  Why did their last relationship fail?: she disappeared. Anything they want to say to their ex?: sorry. Are relationships worth it?: he thinks so. Are they in a relationship now?: no. What is their favorite thing about their partner?: n/a When was the last time they told someone they loved them?: he tells people all the time. Is there someone they will never forget?: yes. Is there anyone they’ve given up on? Why?: not recently. Do they ever want to get married?: he’d love to. Do they think they’ll be married in five years?: probably not.  Describe their perfect person: funny, smart, able to hold an intelligent conversation. 

In Depth

The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?: both. If they could live and be healthy without sleeping or eating/drinking, which would they cut out of their life?: no no no no no Was the first crush in their life something they had or something someone had on them?: he had it. Would you rather burn or freeze to death?: freeze. Could you live without having sex ever (again) in exchange for eternal youth?: no. What was the worst nightmare they ever had?: his teeth fell out If they could get away with one murder in their lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would they kill someone?: no Would they rather spend one year with your one true love just to never see them again or the rest of their life with second best?: one year If it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease, and bigotry, would they spend the rest of eternity in Hell?: yes

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

It would be fair to say that Pete Butttigieg is experiencing something of a moment. Again.

Earlier this year, he splashed down into America’s consiousness as the young, gay, veteran mayor of South Bend, Indiana, who wanted to be president and would definitely appear on your podcast or morning show. His press coverage was so ubiquitous that it merited a profile of the person arranging it, his communications director, Lis Smith, and helped get him a bump in the polls and fundraising. But the Democratic primary race got crowded and others had their moments, too. Buttigieg faded somewhat — he fell from an 8.4 percent peak in the Real Clear Politics national average and settled into the 4 to 6 percent range. He was a nice young man who always looked dressed for a wedding dance floor — suit pants, shirt and tie, but rarely a jacket — who would perhaps have his shot somewhere down the line, but not now.

That changed this fall. Buttigieg has surged back into the conversation about who the top tier of candidates really are. (He recently said he thought the race was getting down to a two-way one between himself and Sen. Elizabeth Warren.) That confidence — or overconfidence, depending on who you’re talking to — has to do in large part with his performance in Iowa polls and in the money race. The most recent Monmouth University poll of the state shows him leading the race at 22 percent. Buttigieg raised more money than Joe Biden, the leader in national polls, according to third-quarter fundraising reports, trailing only Sen. Bernie Sanders and Warren in the cash grab.

As voters have developed Goldilocks syndrome about the leading Democratic candidates — too old, too liberal, too … female? — Buttigieg has benefitted from the strong vanilla flavor of his political porridge.

Which is why I found myself on a curb in Manchester, New Hampshire, on a recent morning, waiting for the Buttigieg campaign bus to arrive. When it pulled up in all its tricked-out Trailways glory, it was promptly loaded with the suitcases of a couple dozen journalists, who then headed into the Rex Theatre, where a moderate-sized crowd of New Englanders waited. The Veterans Day weekend bus tour junket had begun.

Inside, country music and Lizzo played while people milled about, dutifully sporting all manner of “Pete” gear. The campaign’s main colors are blue and gold, same as his hometown University of Notre Dame. But according to the campaign’s official “color story,” the gold is actually “Heartland Yellow” and there are all manner of blues, including one called “Calm Blue” that appears next to a picture of Buttigieg himself. The page notes, “Pete Buttigieg is unapologetically substantive yet salt-of-the-earth.” A more succinct rendering of the Buttigieg campaign ethos you could not find.

Many of the voters at the morning event were older and seemed interested in what they saw as Buttigieg’s potentially broad appeal. Janice Williamson, 67, of Wakefield, Massachusetts, and Diane Gaucher, “older than she is,” of Manchester, said they were Buttigieg-curious in large part because of his seeming strategic advantage in the race — his “electability,” to use the language of punditry.

“I feel he’s well positioned,” Gaucher said. “The country is ready for a more gentle approach.” Williamson said she liked Biden, but felt he was too old. As for Warren? “When I hear her talk, I want to slap her, even if I agree with her,” she said.

As voters have developed Goldilocks syndrome about the leading Democratic candidates — too old, too liberal, too … female? — Buttigieg has benefitted from the strong vanilla flavor of his political porridge. His stump speech is about “American values, correctly understood,” addresses “the crisis of belonging,” scolds the “cheap nationalism of hugging the flag” and encourages “Republicans of conscience” to come on into the Democratic Party.

Joe Raedle / Getty Images

Like Biden, Buttigieg is selling voters on a nostalgic return to some age of innocence and patriotism that existed before Trump. The next target is New Hampshire, where he’s mostly been trailing Biden, Warren and Sanders in polls. The Buttigieg team is betting that the momentum of good performances in these two early states will leapfrog their candidate into the broader Democratic primary voter consciousness — think California and other Super Tuesday states.

“Figuring out a way to call on white Americans to think about race, to be conscious of race without triggering the immediate kind of defensive mechanisms or going into this place of apology and guilt that also isn’t always productive, that’s really tough,” Buttigieg said.

But while fundraising is healthy and Iowa and New Hampshire are filled with just his kind of voters — white and college educated — Buttigieg has struggled to build broader appeal among voters of color, a critical constituency in the party’s electorate. He’s down by double digits in recent polls of Nevada, a heavily Latino state, and is far behind the pack in South Carolina, a stronghold of critical black votes. He’ll need to capture their support or his moment could be fleeting.

The Buttigieg bus is a part of the same clever nostalgia play as his stump speech. The tour is a nod to John McCain’s “Straight Talk Express,” which barrelled through New Hampshire during the 2000 primary loaded with journalists and an off-the-cuff candidate. (Call Buttigieg’s version a “schtick” and you get a healthy eyeroll from his staff.) But Buttigieg isn’t exactly an off-the-cuff guy, and his maneuvering to the top of the heap has been deliberate, seizing on the weaknesses of the two frontrunners, Biden and Warren. His “Medicare for All Who Want It” plan — basically a public option with a heavy dose of “we won’t take away your private insurance and God-given freedom” rhetoric — is a savvy play to the center. It’s meant to grant safe harbor to Democrats who think Warren’s Medicare for All plan is too radical a move. (Warren and Buttigieg voters are white and college educated, though her supporters tend to be much more ideologically liberal than his.) Warren-interested voters might be attracted to his sheen of intellectualism (the foreign languages, Oxford, yada, yada, yada) and some of the policy reforms he’s suggested but rarely mentions on the stump these days, like getting rid of the Electoral College and changing the makeup of the Supreme Court.

He brought up these so-called “democracy reforms,” along with automation and K-12 education, when I asked him what he’d like the primary campaign to be about besides just health care reform, an issue that has far and away come to dominate the race. Still, he conceded the role he believes health care has played in his rise. “The value of the health care debate is it helps you see what it looks like to have a very progressive proposal that’s not as alienating or extreme as some of the alternatives. So to that extent, it helps me convey what we’re trying to do in this campaign.”

The campaign’s message of moderation is one that, theoretically, could speak to black voters just as well as it does to Buttigieg’s base of white ones. Black Democrats tend to identify as more moderate or conservative than white Democrats and so far in the primary, they’ve tended to lean toward Biden’s camp. And Buttigieg’s rise once again has brought a hefty dose of criticism that he can’t seem to appeal to voters of color.

“A huge part of whiteness, at least in America, is being able to not have to think about race much,” Buttigieg said.

When I asked what retail politics steps he was taking to appeal to black voters, Buttigieg brought up church visits — he thinks his faith is one central point of connection with black audiences — and an appeal to black sororities, which he called “a huge area of social capital.” But did he feel as if he was playing catch-up in forming relationships in the black community?

“We need to engage a lot of folks in ways that are beyond the kind of visible on the record kind of appearances,” he said. “I think that there’s a level of catch up really throughout the whole campaign, just because I don’t have years or decades of national exposure or Washington experience to lean on.” This lack of experience and his presumption to the office has grated on his rivals with longer resumes; several are quoted in a recent New York Times story with the headline, “Why Pete Buttigieg Annoys His Democratic Rivals.”

In the afternoon, the bus stopped in Stratham for a “barn party,” which was like a regular old voter town hall, except held in an uninsulated barn in 26-degree weather. The candidate entered cinematically through doors draped in American flags and wore only a short leather jacket slightly reminiscent of Obama’s post-presidency “cool dad” wardrobe. Buttigieg gave his speech and then it was time for questions. One woman, who was white — as was much of the crowd — stood up and expressed concern about Buttigieg’s lack of appeal to black voters. How would he improve the criminal justice system, she asked? “That’s the problem they have.”

Buttigieg gave an answer about racial inequalities that appear more broadly in American life and ended with what seemed like a gentle admonition about generalizations, “We’ve got to talk about this in majority white audiences too.”

The event ended and the press corps hustled onto the warm bus for another hour-long drive. Reporters asked about his experience level, impeachment, the fact that he resonates so much with Boomers — “I sometimes wonder what a 19-year-old me would have thought” — tax policy and health care. It was the third ride of the day, which meant it was the third time reporters had peppered Buttigieg with queries for an hour or so. At a certain point, even inquisitive journalists start to run out of earth-shattering questions. I asked what he was reading. A Roman history, a Seneca book — “it’s very quotable” he said of the stoic philosopher — and someone had given him James Baldwin’s “The Fire Next Time,” which he was rereading for the first time since college. “His account of whiteness was very timely,” Buttigieg said. Did he think a lot about whiteness on the campaign trail, I asked? Was he able to appeal to swing voters — likely more conservative — in part because he’s white (and they’re probably white too)?

“One thing I’ve found, definitely engaging with white law enforcement officers back home, is the struggle in terms of the readiness of a lot of white folks to engage issues of race can’t be overestimated,” he said. South Bend’s police department and Buttigieg himself have been under scrutiny since the summer, when a white officer shot and killed Eric Logan, a 54-year-old black man. During a town hall held after the shooting, residents were openly confrontational with Buttigieg about his failures. “The real problem I think is you’ve got people who have a self-conception such that they can be horrified by the implications that they are in any way biased or racist having therefore a very hard time confronting the fact that everyone has biases. And added to that the fact that everyone has a race, everyone’s implicated in a racialized reality. But a huge part of whiteness, at least in America, is being able to not have to think about race much.”

My last glimpse of him was through a cracked door, watching a TV tuned to CNN as he tied his tie one last time for the day. It felt a little like watching someone put on their armor.

Implicitly, the conversation turned to interactions with voters, like the one in Stratham who’d made a comment about black Americans and “the problem they have” with the criminal justice system.

“Figuring out a way to call on white Americans to think about race, to be conscious of race without triggering the immediate kind of defensive mechanisms or going into this place of apology and guilt that also isn’t always productive, that’s really tough,” Buttigieg said. “It’s really tough for something as sensitive and risk averse as electoral politics to struggle with. But America has no better mechanism for handling any social challenge than the American presidential election. It is the place that brings everybody into one conversation.”

The bus was pulling up to the last event of the day, another town hall, this one much bigger than the morning’s. Reporters gathered their coats and recorders and Buttigieg retreated to a room at the back of the bus to prepare. My last glimpse of him was through a cracked door, watching a TV tuned to CNN as he tied his tie one last time for the day. It felt a little like watching someone put on their armor, and it made me think of a passage in Buttigieg’s stump speech when he asks the crowd to imagine the day after Trump is out of office.

“This country will need to be brought together,” he’d said that morning in Manchester. “It’s going to require a president, as I’m running to be, who can stand on the rubble of what has been busted in our society and in our politics.” The image made me pause — it was a bit apocalyptic. And what was Buttigieg supposed to be in it? A conquering hero? A savior?

Whatever he was, he was standing atop the rubble.

[purplesurveys]

456

Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Nah, my one nickname is used a lot. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Not at all, I get happier when I finally get to say it with one more added year. Probably because I’ve always wanted to break out of that long ass period of being a teenager and being overlooked and invalidated and all those rebellious blunder years as well. Working anywhere? No. I’m interning in a PR company starting next Thursday, though! What's your favorite thing to put in your mouth? Japanese or Indian food.

What about the worst? Accidentally-eaten raisins. Have any allergies? Nope. I’m just glad I’m not allergic to any food. One of my closest friends, Kate, is allergic to eggs, chicken, and meat; and a lot more people i know are allergic to seafood and I’m sooooooooooooooooo frustrated for them. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Sure. I don’t mind being tiny and I never really struggled with weight. What one personal rule you have that you want your surroundings to follow? I hate physical touch as communication. Holding my hand, hugging me too tight, resting your head on my shoulder, suddenly grabbing my arm...unless it’s Gabie, and to an extent Kate (cos she’s naturally touchy) and Angela, I get freaked out inside. When you get muscle soreness, where does it hit you the worst? Shoulders and neck could get pretty bad. What do your parents call you? Anak or ‘Nak, which literally means ‘child’ in Filipino; Robyn, and Byn. When they refer to me in a conversation with my younger siblings, I’m called ‘Ate,’ or the term for elder sisters. Something you just can’t stand no matter what? When someone scrapes their utensils onto their plate way too hard and loud. What’s something that people do that you love? When everyone bands together to help someone when they’re in trouble. Of course this doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s so easy to make me cry just by making me watch videos of this happening. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? I was 3. My dad had Need for Speed on the computer and I still remember how it came with the legit steering wheel and pedals. If you have a blog, facebook, myspace, etc, how long have you had it for? I think I’ve had this one since 2016. I have another survey blog I got locked out from because I forgot my password, and I had that since 2012 or 2013. If you have a blog or website, advertise here: I’m posting this on my blog itself lmao. What age would you want to get married/did you get married? 27-29. Any lovers at the moment? I have a girlfriend, sure. When was the last time you had a crush on someone? Right now, but more intensely this morning haha. Would you say you're an emotional person? More than average, definitely. Have a kid or want to? Want them. Describe your hair style right now? It’s in a ponytail but I’ve had it on since morning and I’ve been on the couch the whole day so it’s a super messy one right now. A habit a lot of people around you notice you doing is? I don’t know if there’s a habit everyone tends to do, but they all seem to curse, if that’s counts as a habit. Favorite artist? Like...in general? Probably Hozier, he’s one of the best and most genuine artists/songwriters out there. And Hayley Williams. What's a fashion trend you would rather die than follow? Don’t Blame The Kids merch. Got any internet friends you've never met in real life? Yeah, my old internet friends - they all lived either in the US or spread out in Europe so I really could not meet with them ever. Right now, the ones I’ve never met are Aliyah and Gabbie. Do you chat with a lot of people on the computer or only few? It used to be a lot since I was super active in the wrestling fandom before. Nowadays my circle is kept to my high school batchmates and college friends. Your favorite person you know in real life is...? My girlfrienddddddddd. Are you a forgiving person? No. It’s kinda the unofficial personal rule I have with people: I will always give away my trust to anyone from the very beginning and will be patient for a very long time, that to fuck up hard enough to reach the point of having to ask for forgiveness is already like overstaying in my circle or my life in general lmao. What's a color that suits you the best? Black and maroon. For some reason green does too, but I hate green. And a color you just can't pull off/don't want to? Orange, gray, yellow. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? I’d probably be like a cow hahaha. Got any hobbies? Sure.

Can you read in public? Only if I manage to be alone and end up in a quiet and comfy area in public. The noisiest I can handle is probably a busy coffee shop because at least the noise there is a bit therapeutic. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? I dunno, really...I was friends with a popular bunch and we even made a dumb 6 year old thing we called the Bratz Club (because they were huge at the time), but there was also huge bitch of a bully not from the group who also always targeted me. I was still a big crybaby, and I threw a huge tantrum one time someone mistakenly told on me when I didn’t do anything, that my mom had to step in lmao. I was still pretty quiet but like I had enough friends and I even spoke on our moving up ceremony, so I think I was doing quite well. Right brained or left brained? I already forgot my psych lessons from two semesters ago, hah. How much sleep do you get usually? 6-7 hours is the average. Do you know your blood type? I don’t. What’s hilarious (and sad) is that I don’t think my parents know either unless they check my birth cert LMAOOOOOO. Whenever I have to fill out forms that ask for it, I ask my mom and she deadass says, “O+ is the most common right? Just write that one down” bye sis if I need a donation and I die that’s on her kksksksksks What's your favorite astrologic sign? I don’t care for and hate all of them. What month do you with you were born and why? April. Presumably because I was conceived somewhere in mid-July 1997, I guess? Have any large dreams you're trying to achieve? Sure.

One thing you would like to change about yourself? My anxiety. One thing you like about yourself? Work ethic. A type of personality you just can’t stand? People who say too many innuendos or are too green-minded. Your personality in one word would be? Uhhhh that’s hard to capture. I guess ‘shy’ is the word. Your appearance in one word would be? Chill.

What’s a talent you'd love to have? Playing the piano. The best prank you've pulled? I hate pranks, whether I’m the pranker or prankee. If I gave you ten dollars right now, what would you do with it? Save it. I’m out of money from drinking in two upscale bars last night lol. What if it was a million dollars? Probs get myself a nice dinner. A person or a thing you truly love from your heart? Girlfriend. A wish you have? More money. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies or other? Pokemon. City type of person or country? Definitely the city. As good as the food is and as clean as the air is in the province, I don’t think I’ll last. Plus I was never raised in the province so I would miss the city life too much.

Ever take polls on the net? Yeah sometimes I’d take the ones I’d come across just for funsies or because I’m genuinely interested about the results. Any word that you love? Poignant. I thought it meant something nice and ~elegant at first; had no clue it was supposed to mean something super bittersweet. What's something you're obsessed about right now? Mukbang ASMR videos. If you had a typing battle, do you think you'd win? I think I would hahaha. Several semesters of rapid note-taking in college will serve me well. Favorite type of candy? Peanut butter cups, if they count. How often do you clean your ears? Every other day. Brag about something! I got a 2.00 in a class I genuinely thought I’d fail in. 2 isn’t a great grade at all but that class was SO AWFUL that I was dying of anxiety just to get a 3 this whole time. My instructor released the grades last night while I was at a club and I bawled when I found out. Something you find unhealthy about yourself? I eat so unhealthily and have no healthy habits AT ALL other than constantly drinking water. I don’t wash my face, never watch what I eat, never exercised a day in my life, all that neglectful jazz. Words of wisdom? I’m not really in a thoughtful mood rn to spontaneously think of advice. Are usually the one talking or listening to others? Listening. I hate having to be in the spotlight longer. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? Honestly I’d be really flattered because I’ve looked 10 years younger my whole life. To say that I look 10 years older will just balance it out to mean that I look my exact age hahahahahaha Any favorite numbers? I don’t have lucky numbers but whenever I have to pick ones, I always say 4 or 23. Any weak spots? ???? Like in bed? Lmao my neck but I hope I understood this correctly. Do you really badly want anything right now? Money. Savings. But also iced coffee :( How much money would you say you have saved up? I literally have no money in my wallet and I can take a photo right now to show that I have absolutely no bills left. I get really irresponsible with money when I get a little tipsy and I got three Long Island Iced Teas last night :/ the last glass I bought when I found out my grade in that pain-in-the-ass class I talked about earlier, so it was technically an impulse celebratory purchase. Anything from your past you just want to forget about? So many events, my friend. So many events. What does it take to earn respect from you? None. I give everyone respect and trust from the very beginning, because that’s what they deserve. But the thing is I can very much take it away when it’s disrespected or abused. Where were you born? Somewhere in stinky Manila. How many people do you live with? 4. How do you cheer yourself up? Depends. It’s a different formula each time. What's something that makes you really stressed out? Internship. Have any particular standard you look for in a significant other? No. I’m a demi, so I’ll end up being attracted to someone because of who they are. I used to have standards but they were so limiting, so I just got rid of those. Ever had a friend that was someone completely opposite to you? Gabie. Ez. We couldn’t be any more different. Are you any good at science? I’m good in biology in particular and I’m okay in physics, but I hate chemistry.  Highlight of the day? Waking up to Gab because she slept over last night. Do you go on any forums on the net? Does Reddit count? What do you think of your voice? It’s okay. It’s not super annoying for me. A smiley face you use a lot? Just the classic :) Do you use msn-lingo? Not since 2011 at the latest haha. Got any secrets you honestly can't say to anyone? This blog. Well except for my sister who stays as the only person I know who knows about this, but other than that I wanna keep this as a secret safe space forever. Best horror movie? Oh wow I haven’t seen anything new in a while. It’s still a four-way between Scream, Cabin in the Woods, The Shining, and Carrie. Believe in voo doo? No. Think anything lives forever eternally? Uh maybe jellyfish? Tacos or Burritos? Burrito. I never liked tacos. The most annoying question on these surveys? Maybe the ones that didn’t use apostrophes when the questions needed them. Whats something you do when you're dead bored? Watch videos. Ever made a survey? Nah. What do you think of people who speak their mind? Brave. But they should also be careful to not be too comfortable about being blunt that they wind up an asshole. How do you act to people around you crying? I stop what I’m doing and listen to them, if they want to talk. What's something you've tried really hard at? Passing that bitch of a class I’ve mentioned for the third time in this survey. How do you say good byes? I just say a ‘bye,’ but if it’s a harder goodbye then I usually avoid the situation, because I cry easily.

[carbonargonlithium]

The Short Version of This Is: Not to be cliché, but sometimes love really is right in front of you and you don’t even know it.

This is a long post. Somewhat funny, but only because I wrote it stream-of-conscious. Sorry if it’s annoying, you can stop after the story about “Poop” if you want to avoid any sap or rambling.

Before I get too far into this, I’m gonna start by mentioning that Joe has been taking cold medicine regularly for the last couple of days, so part of me wants to say that what he said was because of that, but in reality, it’s just because he’s a shit head.

This morning, as we do every third Friday of the month, we drove out to the bank, and then drove back towards home and about ¾ of the way home, the sky opens up into a torrential downpour. We were already in the car so I just asked Joe to drive me to school. He agreed (he’s literally never not agreed to), mostly because I forgot my umbrella at the bowling alley last Friday, and haven’t retrieved it yet. We’re driving to school and I look at him and say “What should I write a blog post about today?” thinking, naively, that he’d give me a serious answer.

“Poop.” Was the answer I got. Poop. I just stared and he glanced at me (he’s driving, mind you), cracks a smile and says “People order our patties.”

I looked away and stared out the front window bitterly because my 24-year-old boyfriend just made a SpongeBob joke at me, and I wasn’t sure whether I was more annoyed at him for making the joke, or myself for understanding the joke. This post isn’t going to be about poop, but it is going to be about how this “poop”-y head became my Joseph. I would be lying if I tried to tell you about the first time I met Joe, because it was probably sometime in 2012, and if you read my last post, you know that memories of 2012 are somewhat spotty at best. And at the time, it wasn’t really that relevant, because I didn’t ever formally “meet” Joe. He just existed, or more specifically “JoeMerry” existed.

Maybe it’s a normal crux of having a common first name, but I’m pretty sure that every time someone referred to my now-partner back then, he was referenced as “JoeMerry” (or “Moe Jerry” but that name came a little bit later). He was a member of the bowling team at Florida State (my alma mater, for those of you that don’t know), and so I knew him, pretty much by proxy. I have no memories of ever really communicating with him before August 2nd, 2015.

Oh wait that’s a lie. I have two memories of Joe before we started “talking” as the cool kids would say. I’m not sure, chronologically, which one happened first, as I can only put a rough date on one of them. Wait…..

There’s three memories. Three times that “JoeMerry” and I interacted before “JoeMerry” became just Joseph. (it won’t shock you to know there’s an explanation for calling him by his full name too, I have an overthought explanation for everything, it drives my mother insane)

1.       JoeMerry is in Crenshaw while I’m working over the summer of 2014 (the first summer I stayed at FSU). I complain, audibly, about needing a notebook and being at work and unable to go purchase one. JoeMerry offers me one out of his car (he apparently just had a stack of them), goes and gets it for me, and hands it to me. I think I still have that notebook somewhere.

2.       JoeMerry is in Crenshaw in November of 2014, right before thanksgiving break, and I realize I need to go get a package out of my apartment complex office, before they close, or I won’t be able to get it before the break. It is pouring outside. JoeMerry offers to go pick it up for me, and I deal with the technical side of getting him permission to do that, he goes, and then returns with the package (my first ever Liverpool kit, which now is incredibly funny). I think I bought him a kit kat.

3.       Sometime, undated, I was sitting out at the table beside the desk at Crenshaw (sorry if you’re unfamiliar, but there’s a table with four chairs near the entrance to the bowling center I used to work with. You walk around the edge of the counter and can sit at it.) There are people occupying the other three chairs, and we are all conversing. JoeMerry enters Crenshaw and doesn’t have a place to sit. I jokingly pat my lap, and much to my surprise, he sits down on my lap.

I’ve already rambled for 804 words, so if you’re bored, this is a good place to stop.  The tl;dr version of this story is: I “met” the man I love in the place I worked for 4 years, two days before he was leaving Tallahassee for good. Things worked out better than expected.

 -

Joe is simultaneously one of the most distractible and un-distractible humans alive. I’m not sure if anyone is still reading at this point, but it’s the truth. He either is distracted by literally everything or literally nothing can pull him away from whatever he’s focusing on. The day that he and I actually spoke at length for the first time, was a day that I’m pretty sure the people he was bowling with wanted to kill him for getting distracted (by me) and not bowling when it was his turn (because he was talking to me).

I’m not sure exactly what we talked about. It was random stuff, I think that was the day after a Rhonda Rousey fight? Which I didn’t care about but I think it came up. Somehow, we got onto the topic of “Ant Man” and how Joe wanted to go see it. Without thinking, really, I said that I would like to see it too, and could go with him.

I’m not really sure that either of us knew what the results of this movie date would be, but I’m pretty sure I was the more oblivious of the two. I didn’t let myself get my hopes up. I asked him if he knew it was a “date” and in his opinion, it was just the catalyst: the event allowed for us to start talking (facebook friends, exchanged phone numbers) which enabled us to start down what he refers to as “the romantic path.”

I’m a perpetually early person. I literally show up early to everything. But, much to my surprise, I walked into the Tallahasee Mall, towards the AMC and lo and behold, JoeMerry is sitting on a bench waiting for me. This definitely threw me for a loop. We saw the movie. I definitely considered holding his hand. I did not hold his hand because there was no way “JoeMerry” had come to see a movie with me because he liked me. We said our goodbyes, I’d see him the next day. Then began the “weird” portion of this whole situation. Joe didn’t say a word to me the entire time he was at league on Tuesday night (I was working). I don’t even remember if he bought a drink from me that night. But after league wrapped up, he disappeared for a minute (apparently packing the things from his locker up) and then came back in to say goodbye to me. And then he hugged me.

And then I didn’t hear from him for three weeks or so. I went about my life and didn’t think too much of it. Stuff happened in my life in those three weeks, and I had a lot going on, getting ready to do graduate applications, taking the GRE, dealing with a sprained ankle, and a ton of other stuff. I think we might have briefly discussed that he had made it home safely, and that he was job hunting. But mostly, we didn’t really talk.

After the GRE, during the brief break between summer and fall, I did what a lot of people do, which was try to relax and spend time with friends. I was 21, I didn’t have work or school, and I decided to partake in drinking with friends. Here’s the problem with that scenario: Joe is awful at texting. So when we were texting, there would be very long breaks in the conversations (because video games, I now know). And what that resulted in several times, was Joe texting me back after I was drunk. Which I guess I should be thankful for? Because I definitely wouldn’t have said the silly things I said, and gotten the responses I did, were it not for that. I would have gone on believing that it was entirely platonic. We talked about job hunting, video games, and soccer. I had no real reason to assume anything but platonic interest. Until drunkCJ got to text Joe. Then I learned that….I was wrong.

It's a mandatory rule of every relationship I’ve ever been in ever that the first thing I do upon entering a relationship is give way too much information and do everything in my power to push the person away. 

It didn’t work. We still spoke, with a lot more frequency now. He got mildly better at texting, he got a job, and we got to work planning his first trip back to Tallahassee. He was coming to Tallahassee for one of the bowling team’s qualifying weekends. School started, work started back up and life continued as normal, except now, I was eagerly awaiting the last weekend in September.

From the very first time it ever happened, I was always displeased with the amount of time it took Joe to drive from Pensacola to Tallahassee. I’m pretty sure I can do it at least a half hour faster than he can, even though we take identical routes. But he arrived. And we went on our first official date, and things weren’t realistically perfect, but in hindsight I only remember how happy I was. I remembered the suspense of seeing how people would react, to me dating ~JoeMerry~. What happened, amusingly, is that people began to see me as a real person behind the desk. They asked me how I was and acknowledged me outside of Crenshaw. I was more than just a face behind the counter to them. But none of that really mattered compared to how Joe treated me. How trusting, and caring, and understanding he was.

I could probably write a lot more about our actual relationship, and about Joseph himself. I could write about how his favorite color is heather grey, and how when he smiles, he has deep smile lines already, which just tells me he’s spent a lot of time smiling. I could tell you about how he loves apple juice above practically every other beverage in the world, or how he can magically eat an entire batch of brownies in two days. I didn’t know it, back in September of 2015, but I had met the person who would love me through some of my worst days, and some of my best days.

But I’ll save those for future posts. For now, I’ll stop here, at the end of how JoeMerry became Joseph, and eventually I’ll tell you more about the poopyhead making SpongeBob references at 8:45am in traffic in Pittsburgh.