#job hunting is so tiring :(
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I spent Labor Day the way it was meant to be spent: applying for jobs that will actually treat me fairly and working on my Twitch/YouTube content and process
#Job hunting is so tiring#3 ish hours netted me maybe 5 applications#it’s just so hard to find anything that’s actually hiring and pays a livable wage#but I have hope#and I think I’m getting to a good place in making my own stuff#I enjoy it a whole lot and if it ends up making me money then that’s great#Tyler Talks
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Make Me Yours
Male Yandere x Reader
Part 2: "Your One and Only"
"I just... really wanna put a collar on a cute guy."
You didn't even mean to say it out loud, but your best friend since middle school had always been super open with this sort of stuff. You've always been the first one she texts when a date goes really well, or really terribly. And a lot of your coffee meetups, like this one, devolve into her oversharing all the juicy details of her relationships.
"Oh wow." She nudged you with a grin. "Didn't know you had it in you!"
Unable to meet her eyes, you try to defend your stray thought. You remind her of some of the jerks you've dated, how their assertive and self-assured personalities had all quickly turned into a bit too aggressive and controlling. In certain situations, in controlled doses... that could lead to a nice time. But it's all fun and games until you try to explain away some of their worse moments to your coworkers and swiftly realize you're in "that kind" of relationship. You wonder if you give off some kind of energy that attracts creeps...
The thought of finding a guy who would not only let you take the reins but maybe even prefer you taking charge? It gave you a little thrill you're almost embarrassed to admit.
"Well, it's nothing to get all twisted up over." she shrugs, taking a sip of her iced latte. "You'll find the right guy that's into that kind of thing."
You smiled, she really was trying to encourage you with this, and it was oddly sweet of her.
"Oh, look!" she scooted closer to you, showing you her phone screen. "There's tons of collars you can get. You thinkin' like leather, classic S&M style? Or somethin' more cutesy?"
Maybe a little too encouraging, sometimes.
~ Somewhere very close by...~
His hands were shaking. Your words were playing on repeat in his head, drowning everything else out.
As if you weren't already perfect. He'd been so jealous of you meeting up with your friend, but if it made this conversation happen so he couldn't be too upset about it. He'd been trying to think of some way to make you his for so long... But being yours? Wearing something like that? Something that said he belonged only to you?
He was already yours. But a little proof never hurt.
. . .
It was late, and you decided to cut through the park to get home quicker. It was a pretty safe area, but you didn't want to be here any longer than you had to be. A few lights lit up the main path and you didn't see anyone else around.
But that didn't mean you were alone.
"Hey..."
You spin around to see... some guy. You'd never met him before, but he was... making A LOT of eye contact.
He was cute though. Soft, fluffy hair and piercings in his ears, his bright eyes poking out from beneath his bangs. And he had at least six inches on you, but not really an intimidating frame, a bit skinny too. The way he was looking at you was making you nervous, but you weren't sure if it was a "Oh, this is unexpected." kind of nervous or a "You're gonna end up in his basement." kind of nervous.
"You probably don't remember me but, uh...we had a few classes together last year and…"
He seemed really nervous himself, trailing off with some color in his cheeks. You tell him politely that you were sorry, but you didn't remember him.
"That's okay, uh..."
He was breathing kind of funny, his eyes still staring into yours. You asked him what he needed, hoping it would speed this along and you could leave.
He took a breath, and all you could do was stare, wondering if you should distract him and make a break for it.
"I... I've liked you. For a long time. It's like... like everything about you is just so... wonderful! Seeing you every day keeps me going! I was okay just watching but then... Sorry, sorry. I'm c-coming on too strong, I..."
He took a step towards you, moving like he was going to touch you, but you instinctively took a step back. He looked a little hurt.
"No, no please, don't be scared! I just... I thought it was the right time... I've been thinking about this for so long! I just wanted to..."
He dropped to his knees and the look in his eyes was almost...like he worshipped you. Like you were everything to him and nothing else mattered. It was a bit overwhelming...
"I heard you talking to your friend the other day. Not, uh, not in a weird way, I swear! I-it's just... It's all I can think about..."
He stared at you, a glimmer of something in his eyes. You could see a tremble in his hands, like he was debating reaching out for you again. But he was holding himself back.
Seeing him kneeling, looking up at you with a want that burned into you... It was doing something to you.
This was a weird, kinda scary, unbelievable situation. But it felt so...
Good.
You felt bold. Deciding to go for broke, you finally spoke again.
You asked him to tell you what he wanted.
You could see the tremble shoot through his frame, the smallest, quietest gasp when the your words finally registered.
"I want... I want you to look down at me, just like this! I want you to run your fingers through my hair and tell me I'm a good boy. Your good boy! I want to cuddle up to you and hear your heartbeat while you hold me, I... I want you to use me... I want you to yank my collar if I get too excited and tell me to behave."
He laughed softly at the thought, this guy was completely smitten.
"I want to be yours, if that'll make you happy..."
He reached into his back pocket, you heard the gentle clink of the collar before you saw it. It was like some kind of odd proposal, except he was down on both knees.
He held it up to you, his eyes clouded with a want that made your face feel hot.
So painfully slowly, you reached out for him, your fingers flinching back for a split second, rational thought desperately trying to break through. But despite all the reasons you could think this was completely crazy, you still wanted this.
You touched his cheek, and he didn't hesitate to lean into your hand with a contented, dreamy sigh.
The power he was giving you was... new, exciting, maybe a bit intoxicating. And he was offering it all so willingly, you wondered if this was all a dream.
"I wanna be your good boy..." His voice was soft but pleading, almost desperate. "Please..."
His smile was making your brain feel fuzzy, seeing him looking up at you like you were his whole world.
"Make me yours."
#this one's a little self-indulgent lol#male yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere x reader#male yandere oc#yandere male#yandere boy#subby yandere#wondering if I should start naming these guys and gals#so i can do part 2s with the same characters#this one's been nearly done and in my drafts for a while#job hunting is long and tiring y'all#Jacob#minty writing
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emotional support groobs (groose boobs)
#skyward sword#loz art#loz#loz memes#what the hell is the ship name for these two#grink#groolink#??? idk#anyways take this low effort doodle#because lately i Haven't Been Feeling It Mr Krabs#job hunting is so tiring :(#loz groose#loz link#legend of zelda
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Mood
#Bruce Wayne#Batman#dc#my art#causeimanartist#wip#or not idk#maybe I won't color this since I loath coloring#I had to draw my mood which was 'annoyed and so tired' (because of the job hunt I'm STILL fucking on)#(I'm sick of writing cover letters and then heading NOTHING from the companies)#so I did the old stand by and projected onto b lol
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My health is not well & im struggling with money. Im disabled & unemployed, so art is my only income for food, bills, rent, etc.
If you like the art here, then consider supporting me thru my Ko-fi. https://ko-fi.com/rickyblade
Commissions are also open if you’d art in return, the info is here. https://wbchris.wixsite.com/commissions
#I'll get new joltik art out soon im just tired and trying to stay afloat on bills rn#so commissions are taking priority lately#I geniunely appreciate everyone's love for my little bug art thank you#Ive also been job hunting for months now for a job I can handle and its been....rough
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just applied for a part time job 😔 ough if im being honest
#do i WANT to work 2 jobs? not at all!#however i DO want to build my funds up some and thus i must#especially considering. Everything.#and with how wishywashy my job has been this year having a 1. fallback job that i already have in case i DO end up being laid off#2. have an active income in case we have MORE weeks off (which i already know we will in december)#and 3. just have a little more money in case of emergencies and so i can have a bit of spending money#so really aside from i know it'll make me Tired it's a good idea :(#especially with trying to run a fandom event OUGH#but that's only of i GET the job and im only applying for the one bc its at the craft store i worked at before#so i already KNOW how to do most of it it'll just be about refreshing and relearning and learning the few new stuff i know is there#anyway. widh me luck.#i DID saybi am currently employed and that i don't have open availability which ik is :/ when job hunting#cus computers will automatically throw out your application#and also i gave myself time on the end of my Big Job shoft to go home and shower before i would be willing to be at the Small Job#so we'll see if i even get an interview or anything lmaooo#shh ac
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god i just need to type somewhere that applying to jobs is SO MUCH LOL
#IM SO TIRED#i wish the channel would sustain me bc omfg job hunting is not it#but the good news is yr girl is gonna become a Real graphic designer if one of these works out for once
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i'm honestly so pissed that i have to pay so fucking much every month just to be myself. i'm pissed every trans person on HRT has to go through this in order to survive. i wish things were different for all of us. i wish strangers would stop deciding who we get to be for us. i wish it wasn't so hard for people to access HRT and i wish we didn't have to rely on dumbass doctors and pharmacies to live. this is hell
#the pharmacist that charged me 70$ today instead of 60$ was so sassy and acted like i have no right to be pissed#and like i shouldnt even be surprised that its this expensive#but i have the right to be angry and so does everybody else#ive been job hunting for months now and i havent gotten a single call back#commissions are my only form of income and im petrified for myself#i havent gotten a single commission on tumblr for the past few months#i want to hide in my bed and sob#i know this isnt my fault and i just need to keep trying and fighting for myself#but im so tired
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Something about Cloud going back in time and his first order of business while he is still very much a child is to storm Shinra mansion and drag a certain man out of his coffin and into his slowly reforming found family kicking and screaming
#the elf talks#ff7#I am truthfully so tired I can barely see straight#and also on hold with my job and kind of losing my mind#but I can only think of tiny Cloud bullying Vincent and it’s sending me okay#let’s be real#Cloud is probably lowkey panicking and hunts down the most readily available member of the og party that isn’t also a child
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No love, no light. just desolation cloaked in an unyielding frozen darkness.
Simply cannot go grocery shopping under these conditions. 😪
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I'm really starting to regret I didn't go to vocational school...
#job hunt is going great as you can see#*sobs* I'm so fucking tired...#Hakanate once said#depressionposting#crossposting from twitter
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i am so fucking close to quitting :) i just don't understand how they can keep doing this :) it's not remotely logical, let alone fair to the kids or staff in my classroom :)
every single time i try to ask for help i either get entirely dismissed or get so much attitude for daring to speak up :) all from people who have no fucking idea what they're talking about :)
i really despise being angry :) but there's so much to be angry about for the sake of my kids :) i genuinely only care about them getting what they need and deserve :) but i'm having to fight so hard for any single thing i try to ask for that it's just so far beyond exhausting :)
#this is exactly the treatment that made me leave my last job#and i'm so beyond pissed that i can't stand up for my co-teacher#the exploitation of early childhood professionals is built upon the fact that we are in this for the kids and we will put up with so much bs#in order to be there for them and give them what they need and deserve#they bank on us not just walking out bc it would screw over our kids#and that's really all that's keeping me here. not to mention that i'm way too disabled to go through a job hunt rn and nowhere else pays#i'm. just. so. fucking. tired. of. it. all.#this industry is going to be the end of me and there's nothing i can do about it#stochastic ramblings
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Okay, I know I've literally never talked about Supernatural before on this blog but I actually am a massive fan of the series. I could honestly run an entire separate blog about it. Anyway I rediscovered Milo Greene's song "What's the Matter" earlier and it got me thinking about the episode Bitten.
People have eased up on this episode in recent years but overall the general opinion is still pretty negative, which I think is sad since this is probably one of my personal favorites. Keep in mind it's been a couple years since I've rewatched the show, so I'm running mostly on memory here.
First things first, I think it helps keep the series connected to its roots. After season 5, they kept trying to one up themselves in terms of stakes, ultimately leading to such events as "Satan's son's birth opens the multiverse". And we were sitting in the aftermath of Dick and the Leviathans™ where the show was heading back on its stride, so it feels really nice to just remind us where we began. Saving people, hunting things.
Second, it actually does a lot for the worldbuilding. We get to actually see the perspective of both the people being saved and the things to be hunted, all while they have to grapple with it. While they may not be the most compelling, it was really important we got to see the evolution of these friends, a view into the mundane yet interesting history of these regular people's lives. That way it really hits when things go to shit, you (or at least me) genuinely wish things could have gone differently for them. These people had dreams and goals, loved ones, and now two of them are dead and the other is on the run. All that and they still manage to convey it in a way that feels mostly organic.
On top of that, we get a particularly interesting glimpse into how Sam and Dean look from the perspective of strangers, including some interesting character details. Their shenanigans, their work. We really never get to see people who recognize them from other things (like don't they technically still have warrants for their arrest?) so I thought it was cool how the characters pick up on that.
The found footage aspect is usually hated by people, but I thought it was a really cool way to see it unfold. Cause remember, they could have easily just given us an episode from someone else's POV. But instead, we experience it as the brothers experience it. Context for certain things is missing, there are time jumps and finally it ends with a message directly for them both.
It makes sense that they would film what they do too (for the most part). We see that these are people who record fun and mundane things just for the hell of it, so of course they would record one of the most strange and harrowing events of their lives. In an era where people record strangers for internet points, it's honestly refreshing to see people record mostly just for the sake of capturing memories or entertainment for themselves.
I know a lot of people like it, but it holds a special place in my heart. When I think of the heart of the show, I don't think about the world ending or the multiverse or any of that, I think of stuff like this. Things that really stick in your mind.
And also that song fucks.
#like some people say its annoying but i disagree#the song feels so calming and has such a nice vibe that i think really fits the ethereal tragedy of the episode#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#the winchester brothers#plus like in a show with gods sister or Gay Angel Superhell™ or A TERRIBLE HABIT OF KILLING GAY CHARACTERS IN THE WORST WAYS#is bitten really the worst we can find#found footage#LIKE THEY REALLY THINK THEY CAN JUST KILL CHARLIE LIKE THAT AND THEN REPLACE HER WITH A NEW ONE#AND EXPECT ME TO NOT HOLD A GRUDGE#SHE WAS MY FAVORITE I WAS SO UPSET WHEN I WATCHED THAT EPISODE I THOUGHT NETFLIX JUST SKIPPED CONTEXT BUT NOPE THATS JUST HOW IT HAPPENS#at least dean got to go on a “you killed my baby sister you fuckers” murder spree against the Stynes#but man this show did not treat gay people well. im honestly hesitant to go back in fear that ill see some transphobic shit#thats lily simpsons job not mine#saving people hunting things#the family business#sorry this post is significantly more rambly than usual i am so tired
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Wheeze. Buckled down and made a terrible, but at least existent, resume. 8V)b Was a funny time because I pulled up the one I was required to make for my high school portfolio for inspiration thinking it would be helpful but it was even worse, an atrocity. I only used it for the references sheet format 8’D
#I have been applying without a resume forever u_u#I got my deli job at a hiring event lol so it really didn’t matter#Rin back at it again on the job hunt grind!#I only applied to a few places so far and I am so tired u_u#Like the personality questionnaires in the middle are so draining wheeze#Like would you argue with someone?????? Like depends?????#If they told me their fav color was the only option I’d laugh it off but if it was like#Booooo people don’t deserve to have rights then yeah I might???????#Truly you can’t ask me generally because everything is kinda circumstantial 8’D#Also like????? Professional self vs personal self are different things wheeze so I can do both options sometimes
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As if it wasn't bad enough that I called the Target twice (to try and ask about the progress on my application) and they didn't pick up either time
I made the mistake of mentioning this to my parents and now my dad is once again doing the "how are you finding these job openings? have you tried Indeed? what if you applied to XYZ?" thing again
#i know he means well and is just trying to help but like. i swear it's been the only topic of conversation for weeks#not theatre. not my projects. not anything i ENJOY doing. JUST the job hunt.#and always with this vague air of disdain like i'm not doing enough and i'm somehow taking advantage of being unemployed#(which like. it's been a whole 16 days since i left the dog place. not even three weeks. and i've done a ton of sfx project work since then#idk. i'm so tired of this
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"Nobody wants to work" WRONG you don't want to spend adequate time and resources training new employees - as you fucking should - so instead you have ridiculous requirements for entry-level jobs.
People are trying to work, applying for hundreds of jobs for a chance to get a single interview, but you don't want to do your job and train new employees, you want everyone to know every detail of the job before even being hired, even though every company (even in the same industry) can operate differently.
Fucking do your job and train new employees so they can do their jobs.
#mine#rant#i hate it here#i am so tired#i want to scream#i hate everything#unemployment#job hunting#you dont need five rounds of interviews#you dont need stupid flawed AI to select candidates#stop complicating everything for the sake of profit#stop putting profit above people if youre gonna complain about the response#greed is a disease#greed will be the end of human kind
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