#jo harvelle blurbs

[sammyluvr]

girlfriend headcanons — jo harvelle

cw : gn!reader, kissing, knife mentions, sparring mentions, general physical affection, playful insults, she's super cute, 1.6K words. requested !

summary : just gf hcs! she deserves so much more love agh!!

✶.◟ in first encounters, she can be both flirty and closed off all at once

✶.◟ but it’s not too hard to get her to soften and open up to you

✶.◟ her smiles turn from polite or sarcastic to toothy and wide, pretty and genuine

✶.◟ she’s definitely still flirty and sassy when you’re dating, but it always ends with her smiling wide, or even giving you a fully belly laugh that makes your heart skip a beat

✶.◟ she’d really appreciate someone that doesn’t pressure her to be perfectly mature at all times, but has their own way of motivating her to learn and develop as a person

✶.◟ and in that vein, she really needs someone who understands and sees all sides of her

✶.◟ even if she’s young and that can show sometimes, she’s always been highly intelligent, witty, and brave

✶.◟ she loves it so much when you really appreciate her intelligence and sarcastic humor

✶.◟ and she really enjoys a balance of goofing off together as well as having long debates or stimulating conversations

✶.◟ it’s just generally really important to her that you see her for all that she is and take the time to understand her as a complicated person, rather than just someone who can be a little reckless and emotionally irrational

✶.◟ these things aren’t completely untrue, but you understand her to be so much more than that and it makes her so much more in love with you

✶.◟ she doesn’t like if you’re too protective of her, but she does enjoy a dynamic where you’re protective of each other

✶.◟ she’s definitely quite protective of you and would never hesitate to jump into a fight in your honor or to physically protect you

✶.◟ and she does like to know that you’d do the same for her; she likes a healthy amount of protectiveness over her because she likes the security of it, as well as it’s indication of how much you care about her

✶.◟ if you’re interested, she would love to either teach you some hand to hand combat or trade tips/spare together <3

✶.◟ she thinks it’s both very fun, as well as definitely hot when one of you has the other pinned to the floor

✶.◟ honestly, whether it’s you or her pinned to the floor, it always brings a cocky, pleased smirk to her lips, as if this was her goal all along

✶.◟ besides the thrill and entertainment she gets from sparing with anyone, it probably was indeed her goal to end up in this position

✶.◟ she can get quite competitive, and it really helps the both of you improve your combat skills

✶.◟ it also means that you’re both very in tune with each other when fighting side by side, you’re always better together

✶.◟ also back to one of you having the other pinned to the floor hehe… if she’s got you trapped, she definitely leans down to kiss you

✶.◟ and if you’ve got her trapped, the smirk on her lips and look in her eyes is more likely than not enough to convince you to indulge her with a kiss, too

✶.◟ and yes, it’s very likely that it will just devolve into making out right then and there

✶.◟ she just really loves a good combination of something a little rough, like teasing or sparing or sarcasm, paired with some soft of expression of love

✶.◟ a teasing comment along with a soft smile and her hand slipping into yours

✶.◟ a dark joke followed by a kiss to your cheek

✶.◟ her flicking her favorite knife in one hand, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with her other and her pretty lips moving as she tells you she loves you

✶.◟ saying things like, “you’re such an idiot. i love you,” or “you’re pretty cute for a total dork,” to each other, probably with the biggest heart eyes ever

✶.◟ call her a nerd with a loving smile, i promise it’ll make her laugh and kiss you

✶.◟ and of course have to she’ll tease you back first by calling you a bigger nerd or some silly insult like

✶.◟ yeah being lovingly mean to each other is definitely one of her love languages

✶.◟ she definitely enjoys physical contact in tandem with that as mentioned

✶.◟ but she loves just straight up sweet cuddles and kisses and hand holding

✶.◟ she’s likely quite obsessed with kissing you and could never get enough

✶.◟ she will initiate a lot of physical affection, but she really likes if you do too if you’re that kind of person

✶.◟ she’s not huge on pda, but she doesn’t mind it too much honestly

✶.◟ like she doesn’t care if you’re in public, she’ll happily give you a peck on the lips, definitely will hold your hand without a second thought

✶.◟ only cares about pda if it makes you uncomfortable, then she’ll be careful and reserved about it

✶.◟ a much more thoughtful lover than some might peg her to be

✶.◟ yes, she can be very lighthearted and silly and fun about it

✶.◟ but she’s a very committed lover and isn’t the type to just fool around

✶.◟ especially considering her past experiences with love when she was younger, it’s really important to her to know that you’re committed too

✶.◟ she can be the type to fall hard and fast, but her love lasts and she can wait for you as long as you need her to

✶.◟ she’s also the type to grow a lot in a relationship; she’s always finding opportunities to learn about herself and you and become the best lover for you

✶.◟ she really likes feeling like she’s on a journey with you and that you’re safe constants for each other throughout that journey

✶.◟ she’s very honest too, calls you out on anything that she thinks you should be and expects and appreciates if you do the same!

✶.◟ not in a confrontational way, just in the sense that she’s frank and likes to be transparent with people

✶.◟ she’s not going to let either of you pretend about anything and it’s almost always beneficial because she’s keeping your relationship open and honest

✶.◟ of course, she respects your boundaries and understands you don’t have to tell her everything, but she really values honesty and clear effort

✶.◟ she just really values authenticity too so it’s really important for her to have a space with you where she can be herself freely

✶.◟ generally, she is confident, but she hasn’t always had the space to be silly, playful, sweet, and dorky

✶.◟ because in my heart of hearts jo is definitely a dork and a nerd <3

✶.◟ and she just really loves that she can be that way around you

✶.◟ and she’s like a literal puppy dog, she will so purposefully widen those big brown eyes at you to get what she wants

✶.◟ and it absolutely works every time!! how could you resist her pretty sweet face?? you can’t!

✶.◟ she also just gets really excited to spend time with you, she can be all playful and bouncy and eager like a puppy and it’s genuinely the cutest thing ever

✶.◟ yes she is a mature adult woman with a witty, sarcastic sense of humor and a set of mean fists!

✶.◟ but she is also your babygirl and you just bring out her more playful and giddy side

✶.◟ she’s always resting her head on your shoulder and playing with your fingers

✶.◟ or kissing your cheek or dragging you along to show you something

✶.◟ just imagine her falling asleep with her head in your lap as you play with her hair :,)

✶.◟ she’s a huge sucker for that, for sure <3

✶.◟ another one of her love languages is definitely knives

✶.◟ in my heart of hearts she actually is really interested not just in the knives themselves but in their history and types and even supernatural lore

✶.◟ so she tells you all about it and shows off her knife collection with such a proud smile and is so excited when you like it too

✶.◟ glares at you jokingly if you get something wrong about her knives though lol

✶.◟ she’s like “babe, i taught you about this, c’mon.”

✶.◟ and you’re the only one she shares certain knives with because she’s normally protective of them, but she lets you do anything you like

✶.◟ jo most definitely teaches you how to do tricks with knives if you’re interested

✶.◟ or is just immediately extra in love with you if you have previous knowledge/experience with knives she’s thinks it’s so hot

✶.◟ overall, she’s a very sweet lover who’s a lot of fun to have around and isn’t afraid to express her feelings to you and makes sure you know she loves you

✶.◟ always leaning into you or trying to be close to you

✶.◟ she likes to wear the shirts or jeans she knows that you like the best to tease you or get you worked up

✶.◟ and at the same times gets flustered when you compliment her excessively (but never wants you to stop)

✶.◟ you’re in for lots of laughs and cuddles and late night drinks together

✶.◟ lots of cheek kisses and her hands sneaking up your shirt, or her excited voice telling you fun facts she wouldn’t reveal to anyone else that she knows

✶.◟ basically she’s a huge sweetheart and she’s the perfect mix between playful and lighthearted and serious and committed <3

[kaylin-lmfao]

rules

characters i write for right now: jerome valeska, tate langdon, any jenna ortega character (including herself), void stiles, dean winchester, sam winchester, wanda maximoff (my beloved), rafe cameron, jj maybank, tom hanniger (my bloody valentine 3D), jo harvelle, any madeline cline character (including herself), suzie toller (wild things), padme amidala, ANAKIN SKYWALKER/HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN, mattheo riddle (maybe marcus lopez after i get around to actually watching deadly class), any marauders era character, sidney prescott, sam carpenter, jensen ackles, and last but very not least ANY AND EVERY SINGLE ELIZABETH OLSEN (MOMMY) CHARACTER! thank you for your time. feel free to request other characters. if its not on this list, request anyway and i will either look them up or something or watch the show/movie they're in.

what i will write: yandere, dark content, non con, dub con, smut, nsfw, kidnapping, smut, pretty much anything

what i won't write: bodily fluid kinks (some piss is fine but nothing extreme), pedophilia/underage on either part, male reader, g!p reader (i will write g!p character), incest (stepcest is ok), sub character

i only write sub!reader and dom!character. gender neutral!reader and fem!reader are ok. i will only write AFAB reader. no male!reader

if i see any bullying, transphobia, racism, homophobia, or anything of that sort on my blog, the people participating will be blocked. no tolerance, no second chances.

requests are: open

reblogs and feedback is much appreciated. just, be kind. i'm sensitive. follows are also much appreciated. i love requests and little blurbs you guys want me to see! request any thoughts in your pretty little heads. feel free to message me with any concerns or if you just wanna talk, go ahead! now, enjoy your time here on my blog. love you, my little lovelies!

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Dean Winchester Masterlist

🖤 = 100+ Notes

❤️️  = 200+ Notes

😕 = Sorta Angsty / Hurt + Comfort

😭 = Definitely Angsty / Hurt + Comfort

🍬 = Sorta Fluff

⛅ = Definitely Fluff

😋 = Silly

Blurbs & Imagines:

BLURBS (1000 WORDS OR LESS):

Miss “In Charge” || WC: 701 || 😕

- The reader gives John Winchester a piece of her mind but simply gets complimented for it.

The Doctor Is In || WC: 786 || 🖤 🍬 😋

- Your hospital keeps getting victims with strange wounds. You call Dean and Sam because you think it may be something in their field.

Gym || WC: 646 || ❤️️ 😋

- Dean joins Sam and the reader at the gym.

Promise || WC: 473 || 🍬

- Demon!Dean is cured but what will happen to his queen?

Pine Trees and Boomer || WC: 440 || 🖤 😋

- Something is wrong with Baby and she won’t start. They have an urgent case they need to get to so the Winchester brothers agree to take the reader’s car.

Sister, Sister || WC: 864 || 😋

- Dean finds that the girl he has grown to love is stronger and more powerful than he thought. Who could she be?

Heavy is the Weight || WC: 728 || 😕

- Reader comforts Dean as the weight begins to take its toll on him.

Keep Baby Happy || WC: 499 || ⛅

- Dean and Reader surprise everyone at Harvelle’s with something they learned during their free time at the bunker.

I Forgot My Own Birthday || WC: 747 || 🍬

- Reader forgot about their birthday but Dean and Sam managed to remember and surprise them with cake and gifts.

IMAGINES (1000+ WORDS):

Stay ||  WC: 1,352 || 🖤 😕

- The reader stops at a bar on her way home from a case, but runs into Sam and Dean Winchester. She and Dean have history. 

Cherry Pie || WC: 1,222 || 🖤 🍬

- The reader has had a crush on Dean Winchester since she was 12. She’s stopped in to stay with Ellen and Jo for a bit and finds out the Winchester boys are stopping in on the same day. Jo insists that she try hard to impress Dean but the reader doesn’t want to be that obvious. Jo takes matters into her own hands and plays the reader’s wing-woman for the evening.  

Not The Same || WC: 1,507 || 😭

- The reader watches the love of her life, Dean, die to the hellhound. Upon Dean’s return, he finds his girl is not the same anymore. She’s a little more broken and a little more tarnished.

Her || WC: 1,436 || 😕

- Demon!Dean is protective over Reader and reassures her that she’s just want he wants.

Relentless || WC: 1,218 ||  ⛅

- Once Dean finally convinces Reader to go out with him, they have a few dates. However, their relationship is soon put on pause because of John. All is well in the end though.

Baby? || WC: 1,243 || 🖤 😋

- A witch has turned Baby into a human. This human happens to have a thing for the Reader who is dating Dean and maybe even a little thing for Dean.

Witch’s Wrath || WC: 1,260 || 😋

- Sam and Dean get turned into dogs during a case so Platonic!Reader mind melds with them so they can finish the case.

Guilt || WC: 1,213 || 😭

- Sam, Dean, and Reader are kidnapped by the son of an old hunting colleague.

Worth || WC: 2,166 || 🖤 😭

- Reader jumps in front of a bullet for Sammy because she doubts her worth. This throws Dean into a whirlwind of emotions and he eventually realizes that he should tell her how he feels about her. 

Buried Alive || WC: 2,372 || 😭

- Reader wakes up buried in a coffin, Dean, Sam, Cas, and Jack make it to her just in time.

Party Gone Wrong || WC: 1,193 || 😕 😋

- While at a party on the hunt for a ghoul, Reader gets trapped under a chunk of ceiling after a couple of explosions.

Take Me Instead || WC: 3,754 || 🖤 😭

- Female!Reader gets caught by vampires on a case but Sam, Dean, and Cas arrive to save the day.  

Crisis Averted || WC: 1,468 || 😋

- Shit hits the fan after Dean finds out that Platonic!Reader and Sam have slept together. Crisis is averted once Reader has a chat with Dean about it.

Stupid || WC: 1,271 || ❤️️ 😭

- Reader gets hurt on a hunt but doesn’t tell the Sam and Dean about it. They only find out because she passes out as soon as she steps out of the car. 

Life After Losing Him || WC: 1,880 || 😕

- Platonic!Reader x Sam and Dean Winchester (mostly Dean tbh) || Reader goes about their new daily life but soon runs into the best friend they had lost several months prior.

Infection & Affection || WC: 1,010 || 😭

- Dean and Reader hole up in an abandoned house as a storm starts raging. The Readers stab wound soon becomes infected which leads to Reader and Dean admitting their feelings for each other.

Get Away Car || WC: 1,372 || 😕

- Reader finally explains some things to Dean and enlists him to help them with it.

Against Instincts || WC: 1,979 || 😭

Dean made a very serious mistake but much to his surprise, Reader forgives him & the two share a special moment.

Series:

Big Sister || 3 Chapters || Completed

- Jo goes on a hunt with (Y/n), Dean, and Sam after her mother told her not to. (Y/n) had worked it out with Ellen and had almost negotiated taking Jo hunting with her. Jo’s stunt blows that out of the water but (Y/n) still has hope.

Obsessively Protective || 2 Chapters || Completed

- Dean is super protective of Reader who ends up taking a risk and catching heat for it. 

Memories || 2 Chapters || Completed

- Female!Reader is stabbed by shapeshifter!Dean and on the way to the hospital, actual Dean tells her all his favorite memories of them to keep her awake. 

Headcanons:

Dean & Sam Dating a Black Girl

❤️️ Being the Gen Z Child of Dean, Sam, & Cas 

Ranting about favorite Netflix show to Dean, Sam, and Cas 

SFW Alphabet

Incorrect Quotes:

Long Sleeves Are Portable Napkins

Lacroix Tastes Like Shit

Who Ate My Cookies?

I Have A Black Belt

I’m Not A Child

He Honked At Us

Keep An Eye On Him

Just Do Cocaine

BACK TO THE MAIN MASTERLIST

[ao3feed-destiel]

The Epic of Castiel

Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/2kWJVQp

by undersail2013

"The Epic of Gilgamesh, which dates from the third millenium BC, is one of the finest surviving epic poems in world literature," according to the blurb on the back of my copy from 1972. It's also hella gay. Change the names, and it becomes a Destiel tale for the ages...

Words: 19921, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Amara (Supernatural), Cain (Supernatural), Death (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Meg Masters, Tessa (Supernatural), Abaddon (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Anna Milton, Ash (Supernatural), Azazel (Supernatural), Becky Rosen, Billie (Supernatural: Form and Void), Chuck Shurley, Clarence, Crowley (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Donatello Redfield, Duma (Supernatural), Fate - Character, Gabriel (Supernatural), Hannah (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Jo Harvelle, John Winchester, Joshua (Supernatural), Lilith (Supernatural), Mary Winchester, Michael (Supernatural), Naomi (Supernatural), Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Samandriel (Supernatural)

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Additional Tags: Character Death, Sumerian gods, the epic of gilgamesh - Freeform

Link: https://ift.tt/2kWJVQp

[mattzerella-sticks]

Overprotective, Coda to 14x13 “Lebanon” (John Winchester & Castiel centric, with Dean/Cas undertones)

When John was brought back, he thought things would be like they used to with his boys. Then Mary appeared, and he knew things were better.

Except no one is like how he remembered. The clear difference is their willingness to shelter an angel on the belief that it's 'family'. John knows family, and it begins and ends with blood. What happened while he was gone. Castiel can't remember, but he clears things up for John better than anyone else can.

           John was force-fed many things after coming back to life. His father dying at the hands of a demon in the future and had not run away like his mom said. And Sammy, whose favorite catchphrase growing up was “I’m never going to be like you, dad” was now actively hunting and enjoying it. Even Mary coming back to life was easier to swallow since he knew resurrections were possible after experiencing his own. But this – what he’s staring at now – has him choking.

           Dean was adamant John couldn’t gank the creature they’ve now taken into their Bunker. Ready to thrust the blade into its non-beating heart, John ordered a disobedient Dean to stand down. His son ignored him.

           “He’s family,” Dean said.

           John scoffed. “Is that why he attacked us?”

           He didn’t answer John’s question, casting doubtful eyes at the creature behind him. The angel – Cas his son called it, Castiel the creature corrected him – glared, struggling in his handcuffs. “He’s family,” Dean repeated, “And we’re gonna figure out what happened.”

           John didn’t trust it for a second. And Castiel mirrored his feelings. Every action of Dean’s was met with resistance and hesitance, unsure why it was left alive just a little bit longer. But Dean, Sam, and Mary vouched for it. Joked with it, when they could. Dean made a passing comment that made his stomach roil. “Been meaning to get you in cuffs someday, Cas…”

           Something must have happened from placing Castiel in the back of the car and arriving at the Bunker. Sam led it down, the creature railing furiously against him, while Dean trailed behind wearing the most miserable mask John ever saw on him. He only broke those out on special occasions, like Sam leaving them for normalcy or when John confessed his deathbed deal. John wished he imagined the tear that leaked, Dean too slow to wipe it away.

           They set it up in one of the Bunker’s many dungeons. A worn, wooden chair surrounded by holy oil and fire; comforts John believes were too comfortable for the creature. Dean wouldn’t look at him as he trudged away towards the library. Sam went with, after a few minutes verbally sparring with John – ‘There’s the kid I remember raising’. He left, Mary taking the first watch over Castiel.

           His boys figured out what happened, and as were the other problems afflicting the world, it was because of him – of John coming back to life. “The timeline was messed with by bringing dad back – as if he never left. So all of our lives were changed. Ours and everyone we ever met. Us and…”

           “And Cas,” Dean finished, voice strained as if he didn’t want to do so. “Because of one stupid wish…”

           He wanted to scream, to tell his son to screw the angel; that a creature has never made the life of any Winchester better. A creature killed his father, killed his wife, damned his youngest – why feel this much over something that’s encoded to destroy their family? John grunted only half of what he was thinking. Dean turned cold, setting dead eyes on him. When he first came back they were vibrant green, like trees in the midst of spring. Now they were barren oaks suffering through a harsh winter. “You don’t know what Cas has gone through for us… with us… how much he’s changed. How much he means to me… to us.”

           Dean stormed out of the room before John could ask how much meaning there was. He confronted Sam about it. “They’ve always had this,” he shrugged, “What did Cas call it…? A ‘profound bond’; they’re connected, and always have been since Cas rescued Dean from hell… except now he didn’t, in this timeline, so…”

           Mary was less helpful. “I had my doubts at first, but you’ve never seen the real Castiel. Watched him with our boys… with Dean. Maybe you can, if they can figure out to fix the timeline and keep you here. Then you’ll understand.” She kissed him on his cheek, leaving to relieve Dean of his post.

           There was more to the story John wasn’t seeing. And it was made exponentially confusing when he found Dean’s legal pad in the library. He just missed him, his computer still warm and papers strewn everywhere. Trying to show he was ready to be civil, he started cleaning. Written in Dean’s tiny scrawl was a list of people with their names crossed off, little blurbs written next to them.

           Charlie Bradbury – owns her own startup.

           Kevin Tran – graduated Princeton, valedictorian, NEVER PROPHET

           Jody Mills – still sheriff

           Donna Hanscum – still sheriff

           Bobby Singer – still dead

           Ellen Harvelle – dead

           Jo Harvelle – hunter; wanted

           Ash – freakin’ NASA

           Garth – arrested; poor guy

           Claire Novak – MISSING

           Jack – gone…

           CAS

           The tearstains around the creature’s name mocked him. Evidence of the disruption his reappearance caused his oldest son; the conflict warring inside Dean, the casualties all written out for John to see. Having proof of what his act of coming back did to the world, John understood the course he had to take. Saw the road signs telling him to turn off the highway in a few miles.

           Hearing Dean’s footsteps, John scurried away, dropping his list. There were other things for him to do; that needed to be done if this all ended like he was expecting it to.

           Mary wouldn’t leave them alone easily, which he anticipated. But John knew her, and waited for her bladder to give out like any middle-aged mother of two. When she told him she’d be back in less than two minutes, he nodded. Then, when he was sure Mary was far enough away, he locked the door.

           Leaving him alone with Castiel.

           “If you’re going to kill me, then by all means,” it said, “I’m getting rather tired of this.”

           “I’d like that,” John told him, “Nothing would make me happier to stick an angel blade where the sun don’t shine and watch the life drain out of you. But that wouldn’t solve anything…”

           Castiel tilted his head, squinting. “Are you under the delusion that you can get me to ‘remember’ as well?”

           “No, I know you won’t recall anything they’re asking.”

           It sighed. “I wish the others were more like you. Straightforward, cruel… everything we expected of humans. But they… they are so muddled.”

           John’s interest piqued. He stalked closer. “Muddled?”

           “It’s… how do I explain,” Castiel said, “humans give off these wavelengths that angels can pick up on. All the ones that stood guard over me, their minds were clouded with so many… feelings and opinions. And what was surprising was that many of them were about me. About things I have never experienced. The woman tried using kindness, the tallest one joked, but it was the one called Dean…”

           John frowned. “What about my boy?”

           “His longing was the strongest,” Castiel confessed, “the most confusing. So many feelings poured over me every time he entered the room – even now I feel their trace, through the thick, most likely protected walls in my prison. There was so much longing… angels are used to channeling it, but to be the cause, the center, the drive of such emotion is unheard of. It hurt. Being exposed to it for long periods of time, like in that car, caused me great pains! So I –“

           “What did you do?”

           “I shouted at him to stop! That he was out of his depth – living a fabricated lie! Angels know everything, are all-powerful. We’ve seen creation through from the very beginning; have shone in the light of God, himself. Why would they sacrifice that for humans? Why would I turn against everything I knew for one man? Angels are made to serve God not humans – not him. We’re weapons. We have no thought of friendship or love. To love a human would debase ourselves, making us no better than you.”

           Mary banged at the door, begging him to let her in and stop whatever he has planned. He can’t though. John slammed his foot on the gas pedal and hurdled down towards that shiny tunnel. Castiel confirmed a lot in his little tirade. Things John wasn’t willing to accept at first. That differed from the boys he knew and raised.

           ‘But they aren’t who I know anymore,’ he realized, ‘and honestly… I never raised them.’ He impacted their decisions like a heavy shadow hanging over them. But the qualities he saw in his boys now were nothing John had in stock. His sons became better men than him, and any choice they made was right because it was the exact opposite decision he would have come to.

           Overcome with guilt for the first time, John cried.

           Castiel shot him a withered glance. “Of course… you go and become muddled as well.”

           Wiping away the tears, John kneeled down to face Castiel at eye-level. “Listen up,” he started, “I’m only going to say this once. Now, when things get put back right, you might not remember this. Or maybe you will… who knows. Either way, I have to say this, to make things right with my boys.”

           “I don’t know why you’re so important to them, why they let a creature like you become their friend, or why my son decided to fall in love with you even though you’re clearly wearing a man like a cheap suit. And I might never know, because I don’t deserve it. The man who did, he died years ago in a fire up in Lawrence. All that was left for them was a burnt out husk of a man with nothing fueling him for revenge. Figured my boys were nothing but the same. You’re so damn lucky that’s not true.”

           He’s just a man, but it’s clear to him the terror he struck within Castiel. John continued. “I can’t wipe away all my sins, but I can try asking for forgiveness where it counts. Then maybe I’ll deserve that peace I had. But you – you’ll be here with my family. And all I can say… all I ask… is you watch over them.”

           “…What?”

           “Do what I couldn’t do for them. Protect them, show them each day that not every creature is past saving. Keep ‘em tied to their humanity.”

           “I don’t know what you are –“

           “And show Dean the love he deserves,” he whispered back, “Some nights, even back before I died, I did wonder if I robbed him of a normal life. Broke him, and that he could never work right. That’d haunt me almost as bad as Mary’s death and Sam’s affliction whenever the booze ran out. Castiel you performed a miracle and gave him a second chance. I can’t be selfish anymore. I’ve had my shot at happiness… it’s about time he has his. That they all did.”

           “This makes no sense,” Castiel shouted, fighting his chains, “Your prayers… so much grief and guilt… I can’t –“ It carried on like that, even as he spun around to leave. John opened the door.

           Mary barreled in. Eyeing a distraught Castiel, she turned to him. “What did you do?”

           “Casti… Cas and I shared a few words,” he said, “I’m gonna go speak to the boys. And Mary?”

           “Yes, John.”

           “I… I love you.” He dropped a kiss onto her, a gentle brush of their lips before slipping out into the hallway.

           He saved her for last, their goodbye too painful he wouldn’t finish what he had to if he began it there. John still had loose strings to tie up before the fabric of reality was corrected. And he had to work fast so that it wouldn’t completely unravel by the time hew as done. The world asked of him one last time, to prove that there was no one left on it that truly needed him.

           His boys were waiting. Mary was waiting. And so was his Heaven.

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Heathen

Characters: Y/N (reader), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Mary Winchester, brief mentions of: Secret Service, Lucifer, Cole Trenton, Amara, Chuck Shurley, Ellen and Jo Harvelle, Charlie Bradbury, Kevin Tran, John Winchester, Bobby Singer.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: Self Loathing, self blame, canon typical violence, character deaths (not grafic and only the ones from canon), We are in Dean’s head and it gets dark in there so angst. S12 Spoilers.   

Wordcount: 2100ish

A/N: This one is written for @impalaimagining’s 1 k Follower Celebration Challenge. I chose the song Heathens by Twenty One Pilots - I also had a gif which I have used under the cut (the Demon!Dean) - Sorry I didn’t use it that much. I decided to stay closer to the feel the lyrics gave me instead.

This fic is also very much inspired by a this first gif which @torn-and-frayed sent me to write a blurb for. I promised you it would be a fic Steph so here it is!

Thanks to my sweet, amazing co-wayward scandi bitch Maggie aka @winchesterswoonathon for betaing this angsty mess for me.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

THIS IS NOT BY ANY MEANS HOW I SEE DEAN. IT IS WRITTEN FROM HIS POV AND IT IS HIS TWISTED VERSION OF WHO HE IS.

It had taken 5 guards to throw Dean in that cell. He had been beyond pissed when they had separated him and Sam. His brother had been taken from him last, only a few months ago, and now he was seeing it happen right in front of his eyes once again. The idiots they had just saved from Lucifer were dragging him and his brother to a place Dean doubted anyone but a select few knew existed. He and Sam didn’t belong there. They kept the world safe, they didn’t add to its horrors.

That had been what was running through Dean’s mind when he made the first five marks on the wall. He had taken solace in the fact that Cas and Y/N had gotten away with Kelly, before the secret service busted through the door. He had taken solace in the fact that Y/N was safe. Cas would make sure nothing happened to her. No matter how long it took Dean to get out of this God forsaken hole, get to his brother and get out. Cas would keep Y/N safe.

When Dean had assured himself of the truth, of her safety, his mind had gone to Sam. His little brother had been through so much. The hits had kept right on coming ever since he was 6 months old and still he stayed strong. He kept seeing the best in people, even in Dean, when there had been nothing good to see. When he had been a demon, Sam had saved him. He had saved the world from Dean’s darkness. He had saved the world from Lucifer and still he was locked up in here, just like Dean. Sam didn’t deserve any of this. He deserved normality and a life, which he would probably never get, but Dean needed him to be free at the very least. Free and safe, with Y/N and Cas. To hell with himself. He would manage. He always did.

Dean wasn’t pure, not like Sam and Y/N. He was weak and selfish. Dean remembered his time in hell, but it wasn’t the feeling of his soul being torn to shreds, it wasn’t the feeling of blades carving into his very essence that were weighing down on him. It was how easy he had given in. The 30 years of torture weren’t what gave him nightmares, the 10 following them were. It was those 10 years that made it so abundantly clear to Dean that he really did belong in here. It was the years of slicing and carving innocent men and women into something unrecognizable. It was the torture he inflicted on the people he had sworn to protect. The darkness inside of Dean had not been removed with the mark, because it had always been there. Dean had enjoyed the pain he inflicted. Dean had loved killing and had he not been dragged back into this life, a part of him was sure he would still have ended up in this place. He was a murderer, that was who he was. Dean belonged behind bars, Sammy did not. Dean swore he would get his brother out of this place no matter what it took as he carved the next five marks into the wall.

Dean remembered how he had blamed the red angry mark on his arm for all the people had killed. He remembered how he had used her to forget, and how she had let him. A tear fell from Dean’s eye as he remembered ignoring and pretending to be asleep when her body had started shaking next to his. He knew she cried for him, and because of what he had done, to her. She didn’t cry for the things he had done to Sam, to the people they were interrogating on their cases, or Metatron. She had cried because she loved him and because she thought she was losing him. Back then, Dean had thought he was losing himself and that the mark was changing him, but now as he put the five next marks on the wall, he knew. The mark hadn’t changed him. It hadn’t turned him into a killer. It had just made him into more of what he already was. It had shown him the psychopath that he was hiding beneath all his well constructed walls. Dean belonged in here, where the world was safe from him. Where Y/N was safe from him.

Thinking about her was hard. To start with, all he had wanted was to have her back in his arms, selfishly. That was how he had always been with her. He had used her to get over the wounds he carried with him from hell. He had let her piece him back together when Sam had dived into the cage. He remembered how twisted he had been when he had returned from purgatory and how she hadn’t cared. She had held him every night. She had been the light that had showed him the way back to the real world. A world where he couldn’t live from kill to kill. A world that wasn’t black and white and red. A world Dean once again had to learn how to be human in. A world where he couldn’t let his true colors shine through.

Dean thought about her as he made the next five marks on the wall. He thought about how she had never once given up on him. He remembered the control she had always seemed to have over the darkness in him, even when the mark had turned his eyes pitch black, her voice had prevented him from killing.

Had she not shown up. Had her scream not sounded through the alley, Dean would have killed Cole. Had she not distracted him and made his eyes flash back to bright green in an instant, as he remembered what it felt like to love her, Sam would never had been able to capture him. Even when the demon in him had robbed him of any trace of the humanity he had ever possessed, she had been his light. Even when he had gone dark enough that he had been able to kill Sam without hesitation, all he had been able to do to her was knock her out, leaving her unconscious on the floor as he trailed through the halls of the Bunker with a hammer in his hand, searching for his little brother. She had never left him. She had been right there beside him, loving him through it all. Refusing to see what Dean now knew to be true. The Darkness was not forced upon him, it was in him. Part of him. It always had been.

Amara had know that, that had been why she had wanted him. Not because he was her opposite, like Chuck. That had been how Y/N had explained it, as she had held him one night, promising him she wouldn’t leave. Telling him how strong he was and that she believed in him. Dean had let her words impower him then, but now he knew they had been false. Dean was dark. Amara had seen the darkness in him and that had been why she had wanted him. Not because he was her contrast, but because he was like her. Dean didn’t deserve Y/N. One day if he was free, he would get her killed. If not by his own hand, then because someone wanted to see him hurt. Dean knew he couldn’t lose her, not only because he loved her and wanted her safe. If she died he would snap. She was the dam that kept his darkness in check. If that was broken, Dean would be the murderer he knew himself to be. Not even Sam could stop that.

Dean carved the next five marks into the wall thinking of how he never made her happy. Sure he made her smile and laugh. He made her shiver and moan his name, whenever he had showed her without words just how much he loved her. He had made her tear up when he had said those words to her. Still he didn’t make her happy. He brought pain to her life. Worry and heartbreak. He had seen her lose her dad, who had been like a second parent to him, because of him. Bobby had died trying to help him and Sam. He had seen her lose his own father, who had been like a second parent to her, because of a deal John had made to save Dean. He had seen her lose their mutual friends, all dead because of him. Ellen, Jo, Kevin, Charlie… All people she had loved, that had died because Dean hadn’t been able to keep them safe. Hell, he hadn’t even been able to keep himself safe. He had died himself, over and over. Everytime he came back, he had selfishly sought her out. Rather than letting her grief and move on, he had needed her so he had dragged her back into a life he didn’t wanna lead on his own. Just like he had Sam. They both deserved better. They deserved to be happy. Without him there to screw everything up.

When Dean carved the next five marks into the wall he had made up his mind. He was where he belonged. He was going to find a way to get his brother out of here, but he wasn’t leaving. Sam, Cas, his mom, Y/N… they all deserved better than him. They deserved to be free of the pain he caused them. He’d always screwed everything up, but not anymore. In here he couldn’t break anything or anyone else. If he was in here, they would be better off. They didn’t need him and he was done being selfish. Dean was right where he belonged and he was staying put.

Y/N’s PoV - 6 weeks after the brother’s were captured

You flung the book across the room, screaming out your anger. Castiel fell down in his chair, looking like a defeated hopeless child. He blamed himself for this, you knew that. You didn’t, but you also didn’t have the strength to put his mind at ease, not now. Not when the man you considered your brother was missing. Not when he and the man you loved more than anything, more than your own life, was locked up God knows where. Not when there wasn’t a damn thing you could do to help them. Not when you didn’t even know where they were.

“Y/N try and stay calm,” Mary’s shooting voice sounded next to you and her hand rested on your arm. “They have only been gone…”

“6 weeks, 2 days and 10 hours,” Cas finished her sentence in a defeated voice. He felt the same despair you did. He knew the brothers as well as you. He knew why you were hurting this badly.

“We will find them,” Mary insisted with the same stubborn expression on her face, you had seen countless times in Dean “You, me and Castiel. We’ll find them.” Mary tried to assure you, but her words didn’t help. You let yourself fall down onto the chair next to Cas, before you looked up at Mary.

“You don’t understand. I can’t lose Dean,” you tried to explain, but Mary just send you a reassuring smile.

“It’s the Government Y/N. They are not going to kill them. They are safe, just missing,” her voice was calm, but still her words angered you. More than they should, but your emotions were running high.

“You don’t know them Mary! Sam he will be fine. He has been through worse, but Dean… I’d rather they tortured him. If they have him in isolation, he will be alone in his own mind. I’m not sure there is anything worse for Dean.” You saw the hurt, worried expression on Mary’s face, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

The room went quiet as Mary sat down across from you. Her and Cas both of them staring into their own nothingness as your mind went to Dean. Sitting alone in a dark, cold room with his own guilt and self blame, convincing himself he was everything you knew he wasn’t. Convincing himself the world and you were better off without him, and that he was right where he belonged. A silent tear fell from your eyes as you feared you had lost him to himself, maybe for good this time.

Dean Tag Team:

@mysupernaturalfics @blacktithe7 @percywinchester27 @quiddy-writes @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @supernaturalyobessed @loveitsallineed @starswirlblitz @revwinchester @aprofoundbondwithdean @skathan-omaha @feelmyroarrrr @torn-and-frayed @kayteonline @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @mysteriouslyme81 @ayeeitsemry @curliesallovertheplace @docharleythegeekqueen  @winchesterprincessbride @faith-in-dean @ellen-reincarnated1967  @winchestdiaries @adriellej @moonstar86 @atc74 @knittingknerdy @tia58 @nikolanna @cyranodebergerac @lycangirl44 @brooke-supernatural16 @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @melonberri @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @alexafromthefandom @stilinski15 @thatonehaspanicchick @roxy-davenport @phoenixia67 @bringmesomepie56 @thebunkerismyhome @salvachester @chaos-and-the-calm67 @jasminwild @anokhi07 @mrswhozeewhatsis @lilyleely @smoothdogsgirl @angelkurenai @chickenmcsade @covarrubiasalex @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @charliebradbury1104 @chelseypaigeake @katrena7 @thecynicalnerd @nichelle-my-belle @mouselovesmusic @lucifer-ismy-bae @dreamilyjensen @sleepywinchester @tanithlowisabamf @deansleather  @katnharper @ashleymalfoy @secretlyfurrydragon @winchesterswoonathon @fangirl1802 @buckysmetallicstump @staticbirdy @spn-fan-girl-173 @jensen-gal @tas898 @iamnotsaneatall @waywardjoy @arryn-nyx @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

[ilikebeesandflowers]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Amara (Supernatural), Cain (Supernatural), Death (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Meg Masters, Tessa (Supernatural), Abaddon (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Anna Milton, Ash (Supernatural), Azazel (Supernatural), Becky Rosen, Billie (Supernatural: Form and Void), Chuck Shurley, Clarence, Crowley (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Donatello Redfield, Duma (Supernatural), Fate - Character, Gabriel (Supernatural), Hannah (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Jo Harvelle, John Winchester, Joshua (Supernatural), Lilith (Supernatural), Mary Winchester, Michael (Supernatural), Naomi (Supernatural), Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Samandriel (Supernatural) Additional Tags: Character Death, Sumerian gods, the epic of gilgamesh - Freeform Summary:

"The Epic of Gilgamesh, which dates from the third millenium BC, is one of the finest surviving epic poems in world literature," according to the blurb on the back of my copy from 1972. It's also hella gay. Change the names, and it becomes a Destiel tale for the ages...

[ao3feed-castiel]

The Epic of Castiel

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2kWJVQp

by undersail2013

"The Epic of Gilgamesh, which dates from the third millenium BC, is one of the finest surviving epic poems in world literature," according to the blurb on the back of my copy from 1972. It's also hella gay. Change the names, and it becomes a Destiel tale for the ages...

Words: 19921, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Amara (Supernatural), Cain (Supernatural), Death (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Meg Masters, Tessa (Supernatural), Abaddon (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Anna Milton, Ash (Supernatural), Azazel (Supernatural), Becky Rosen, Billie (Supernatural: Form and Void), Chuck Shurley, Clarence, Crowley (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Donatello Redfield, Duma (Supernatural), Fate - Character, Gabriel (Supernatural), Hannah (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Jo Harvelle, John Winchester, Joshua (Supernatural), Lilith (Supernatural), Mary Winchester, Michael (Supernatural), Naomi (Supernatural), Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Samandriel (Supernatural)

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Additional Tags: Character Death, Sumerian gods, the epic of gilgamesh - Freeform

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2kWJVQp

[ao3feed-crowley]

The Epic of Castiel

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2kWJVQp

by undersail2013

"The Epic of Gilgamesh, which dates from the third millenium BC, is one of the finest surviving epic poems in world literature," according to the blurb on the back of my copy from 1972. It's also hella gay. Change the names, and it becomes a Destiel tale for the ages...

Words: 19921, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Amara (Supernatural), Cain (Supernatural), Death (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Meg Masters, Tessa (Supernatural), Abaddon (Supernatural), Adam Milligan, Anna Milton, Ash (Supernatural), Azazel (Supernatural), Becky Rosen, Billie (Supernatural: Form and Void), Chuck Shurley, Clarence, Crowley (Supernatural), Dagon (Supernatural), Donatello Redfield, Duma (Supernatural), Fate - Character, Gabriel (Supernatural), Hannah (Supernatural), Jack Kline, Jo Harvelle, John Winchester, Joshua (Supernatural), Lilith (Supernatural), Mary Winchester, Michael (Supernatural), Naomi (Supernatural), Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Samandriel (Supernatural)

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Additional Tags: Character Death, Sumerian gods, the epic of gilgamesh - Freeform

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2kWJVQp