#jo and ben will be together

[stokesy55]

Joey signs up for Jossy’s team, Ben is expected to sign up imminently - the SA20 is getting an England boost!

[captainreecejames]

Just Friends || MV1 Oneshot

part of the my ex is a footballer series [masterlist] [my ex series masterlist] [max smau]

pairings max verstappen x reader with some ex!ben chilwell x reader in the smau part, danielle campbell is the faceclaim but reader is not described in this part so imagine however

word count 5.2k

warnings talks about depression, injuries and blood dealing with hands, hospitals and medical stuff, mentions of jos verstappen, cursing, angst and fluff, not proofread so probably shitty writing and mistakes

notes this took longer than I initially imagined because i was stuck on how to get it started, but after a good nights sleep and words of encouragement from @coff33andb00ks I got this puppy started. This fic includes Adrian Newey as the point red bull person so I could avoid horner and max as an almost dog dad because I'm a dog person. It starts in the middle of the 2022 season and goes through the 2023 season. If there is enough interest, I might continue to write these two together because I really enjoyed it and there is more to explore.

songs to listen to while reading you're losing me-taylor swift / so long, london-taylor swift / same mistakes-one direction / lose you to love me-selena gomez

You met Max on accident, according to you. When you talked to your father about it years later, you would learn it was no accident. 

><

He was golfing with Adrian Newey and more coworkers but had forgotten his wallet, so he asked you to drop it off.

Now you knew he worked at Red Bull, so really it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that you would eventually meet Max Verstappen, but you walked into the country club expecting to meet some older man, not the reigning Formula 1 world champion. 

How'd Max know who to approach? Your father had shown him a picture of you so he would know who to look for. While you were searching the lobby, Max had come up to you, saying your name.

You had plenty of experience meeting famous people, even one’s who knew your name before meeting (perks of dating a football star) but it was still a shock. 

The meeting consisted of shy words and you fumbling around your bag for your father’s wallet and that’s it. No matter how much experience you had with famous athletes, it would still be weird meeting them. You wouldn’t see Max again for a few weeks, he was busy with races and staying in Monaco.

The next time would be at the base, once again you were dropping something off for your dad. This time it was lunch that he just insisted he needed, not whatever was being served in the cafe that day. 

You stood in the lobby, waiting for your father to get out of a meeting, admiring the trophies on display when Max came up to you. 

He will argue in the future that you admiring his trophies made him interested, and that he wasn’t over a little bragging if it got the attention of a pretty girl. That argument ignores the scheming that your father and Adrian had done, from complaining about your lack of interest in the sport to complaining about you needing to get out more. (Your lack of interest in the sport wasn’t true, just that you preferred Ferrari over the local team.)

So with the subliminal messaging from your father, Max was interested in you.

“I thought you didn’t really like the sport,” he said coming to stand at your side. 

You jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to approach you. “Why would you think that?”

“Your father.” You turn to him with a confused face and Max decided to clarify. “He talks about you a lot.”

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t listen to half of what he says.”

“Really? Even when he talks about the chassis?” His words are teasing and you think he’s flirting with you.

“Maybe that you can listen to.” You shrug, turning back to the cabinet. “He’s really just jealous that I prefer Ferrari.” 

Of fucking course, the Italian team. “A fan of Leclerc?” You can hear the bitterness in his voice and it shocks you a little how quickly he changes his mood.

“He’s okay,” you shrug again. Max thinks that your nonchalantness is annoying, why can’t you just admit you find Charles hot and move on.

(Hidden in the stairwell, Adrian and your father are a little nervous. They can tell that this isn’t going as well as hoped.)

“Schumacher has been my favorite, but I think of the current drivers its Vettel.” Now Max realizes that the two of you are standing in front of Sebastian’s 2010 championship trophy, and he feels a little embarrassed he didn’t realize sooner. “I’m a little bitter he didn’t win the championship with Ferrari.”

There are more “chance” meetings, but the conversation flows much easier now. Like the dinner at Adrian Newey’s house and after, when he has to give you a ride back to your new place because your parents don’t want to leave yet. Or the time when it’s suggested that you give him a ride to Luton airport because it’s on your way to London. Or even the holiday party at the end of the year where he has to give you a ride again because you’re tipsy and shouldn’t drive. 

It’s the airport drive when you both realize that you’re being set up by Adrian and your father, which causes a lot of awkwardness between the both of you during your goodbyes.

You go back home a few days later and scold your father for the set up. You don’t need another relationship right now, you tell him. He says he knows, but Max makes you happy in a way he hasn’t seen in years and that makes him happy. Your mother reminds him that you need to be happy without a man first and he says he’ll give up the endeavors to push you on to Max. If Adrian happens to come up with any more ideas that's not his fault, the man is a genius afterall.

The holiday party is more of an accident than anything, your father and mother leave much earlier than you, and so you are stuck with Max to drive you home.

He complained about the hotel he was staying at, so you offer him some time in your apartment to get away from fancy places and he takes you up on it. And now that you're home, it does’t seem like a bad idea to have another drink, just to take the edge off of having Max in your place. 

“Would you like another drink?” you offer while making your own gin and tonic. He stares around at the quiet kitchen, taking in the place that feels very you. “Or perhaps some tea?” He shakes his head no, eyes catching a picture of you hugging Ben. It’s an old picture, from when Leicester City won the league and you’ve only recently dug it out of the box it was sitting in. 

“I thought you were single,” he says, picking up the picture to examine it closer.

“I am,” you answer, turning around from the counter to look at him. You’re about to ask him where the question came from when you see what’s in his hands. “That’s from 2016, when Leicester City won the league.” Max nods like he understands, but he doesn’t.

“Who’s this?” he points to Ben.

“Ben Chilwell.” Maybe if you’re just vague enough, he’ll drop it. He doesn’t.

“Okay,” he draws it out. “Who is he to you?”

Not much of anything anymore, is what you want to say. You settle for something vague again. “A friend.”

“Looks like more than a friend.” Is Max trying to provoke you or something? He can tell you’re growing frustrated with him and it makes him feel guilty. “Sorry, I just, don’t know much about your life before here.”

You sigh, deciding that alcohol probably isn’t the best drink for now. You move to the kettle next to the stove, opting for tea to help calm you down. 

“Ben and I dated until a couple months ago, I moved back home right after we broke up.” He nods along with your story and you continue the tea making process. “Ben and I were childhood sweethearts, together since we were like 14 years old. So that makes,” it takes you a minute to do the math in your head, “12 years together.” You don’t turn to see what Max’s face looks like. A lot of people during your relationship with Ben were in awe of how long you were together, but there were some who thought it was silly and childish. Who stayed with someone they were dating since 14? (Apparently not you.)

You thought it was romantic up until a few months before the break up. Childhood sweethearts, best friends to lovers, boy next door, all tropes you loved in books and you were living it in real life! Until it wasn’t. Until you moved in the middle of a pandemic to a new city with no support system and became depressed. Until Ben needed support you and you couldn’t make yourself see that giving him everything was leaving you with nothing. 

It took an intervention from your parents to see that you were depressed, and an offhand comment about marriage from Ben to see that the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere new.

“What happened?”

“He didn’t want to marry me.”

><

“I’m just not sure I’m want to marry her, yet,” Ben says to the group. There’s a pause before he says yet, like someone made a face and he’s trying to placate them.

What the fuck? you want to ask. You want to scream it, really, because what the fuck does he mean by that? You’ve been together for over ten years, he’s said since Leicester that he only wants you, for the rest of his life. And now... now he doesn’t know? How the fuck do you not know? How can he not know? It makes you angry, the most emotion you’ve felt in probably months and it’s anger at your boyfriend.

Your grip on your glass is tightening, turning your knuckles white with the force and you worry the glass will shatter in your hand.

It does, but you don’t feel it. You don’t hear the glass shattering in your hand or on the floor, don't feel the splash of ice, gin, and tonic on your legs.

What you feel is something akin to clarity, because you’ve been living in a fog for months, probably the two years you’ve been in London and now you know how Ben feels. If he doesn’t want to marry you now, he probably won’t ever want it.

It takes your friend coming over and putting a hand on your shoulder for you to realize that something is physically wrong. That your hand is bleeding from glass cuts and you’re standing in a puddle of water and alcohol and some blood.

Emma says your name a little louder to grab your attention and now people are staring at you, wondering what’s caused the glass to shatter in your hand. She ignores them, pulling you across the room so she can take care of you.

Unfortunately, the glass is too deep and you have to be taken to an emergency room, where the nurses and doctors fuss over your hand. They ask you questions about how it happened, you explain that a glass shattered in your hands. They're suspicion is eased when Emma corroborates your story. It's soon after that you're allowed to go home.

All this time, Ben hasn’t come running into the room desperate to find you, and that reminds you why you’re here in the first place. Because Ben isn’t sure he wants to marry you.

><

“That’s how you got the scars on your hand?” Max is gentle when he takes your hand in his, holding it so delicately like you might break. You nod, but don’t pull away from him. His touch is soft and it makes you feel something you haven’t felt in a while. His hand turns so you can see the own scar on his hand. “I got this one from Jimmy, my cat.” He lets you run a finger over the scratch on the back of his hand. You run your hand over it one more time and Max get’s goosebumps from your touch.

You look up at him from your hands, your eyes roaming his face and seeing how sincere he is. It makes you nervous. 

You pull your hands back, stepping away to grab a mug for your tea and busy your hands with something besides his own.

Max can see you close off on him, but the story isn’t over yet. “What happened after the hospital?”

><

“Are you going to tell me why this happened?” Emma asks finally, walking with you out of the ED. She’s stayed the whole time, occasionally popping out to call your other friends and update them on the situation. 

It’s on the tip of your tongue to tell her, but you know what she’ll say: 'break up with him already, it’s not going anywhere and you’re obviously hurting over this. '

It’s not what you want to hear, you love Ben so much because you’ve always loved him, he’s all you’ve ever known and it used to be so good, so you know it can go back to being good.

It has to. You need it to. 

So you try to laugh it off, say that your grip is much stronger than you thought and that there must have been a hairline fracture in the glass.

But Emma doesn’t buy it. She lets you try to joke your way out of this, lets you laugh uncomfortably as she stares at you, and then pulls you to a halt at the corner. Your uneasy smile falls and you sigh. You know better than to try and hide this from her. 

“Ben said something,” it’s a whisper, like the quieter you say it makes it hurt less. She waits for you to continue, knowing that you’ll explain if she doesn’t push too hard. You take a deep breath, hoping that the air will do something, anything to make it easier to say out loud. “He’s not sure if he wants to marry me.” You hold the pause like he did, adding the yet in a pointed tone. With how much Ben has hurt you, you still want to spare him the criticism. You love him.

Emma immediately goes off, like you know she would, so you tune it out. It’s nothing you haven’t heard in the last year. 

The traffic light turns green, and you begin your walk back to the carpark, looking around the spaces to find your friend's car.

“YN!” another voice shouts. It’s Ben. 

He’s jogging to you across the lot, eyes a little wide like he’s been panicking for a while. “Why didn’t you grab me before leaving?” He means to direct the question to Emma, but he’s looking at you and you feel like he’s blaming you. “I was looking for you across the house until someone finally told me that you left for the emergency department. I was worried sick.” He looks it, you think. He does care. He wouldn’t look like that if he didn’t care. “You weren’t answering your phone, and-“ he cuts himself off as he stares at your hand. “What the hell happened?”

Oh- he doesn’t know. 

“She heard you,” Emma answers. You want to stop her, explain for yourself so you can just go home and sleep.

“What?” Ben asks, confusion across his face for a second before he realizes. You heard him. You heard him. “You weren’t meant to hear that.”

That’s his excuse?

“That’s your excuse?” Emma takes the words from of your mouth, but not the anger from your body, you clench your bandaged hand, wincing when it pulls at the stitches. Ben is still looking at you, but you’re unable to read him. “She wasn’t meant to fucking hear that?” Her voice is shrill and it grates on you because of a headache, but you know she means well. “You know what, fuck you Ben Chilwell! Go fucking rot in ditch!” With that she pulls you away from him, rushing the two of you towards her car so she can drive you to her home.

><

“That’s his excuse?” Max’s tone is just like Emma’s on that night and still you want to defend Ben. Your relationship is long over with the footballer, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love him. 

“I was a mess then,” you tell him, pouring your water into the cup, “I wouldn’t want to marry me either.”

“But he loved you, and you don’t say something like that about someone you love.” Max looks angry next to you, and that scares you even more. Not because of his anger, but because he clearly cares so much and you’re not sure if you deserve it. 

“Listen to me,” Max grabs your arms, pulling you to face him in your small kitchen. “Friends, boyfriends, people who love you-“ (Do his hands squeeze you harder on friends or boyfriends?) “They don’t talk about you like that behind your back. And also they notice when you’re gone, when you’re hurt, when you aren’t’ yourself.”

“But he was also hurting,” there are tears in your eyes from his words because you believe them, but also you still love Ben.

“And so were you, clearly. Yet you could tell something was wrong with him and he couldn’t see it in you?” Max has known you for only a few months, and has spent even less time physically with you, but he sees you and the way your brain works so clearly and that’s really scary. He must see something in your eyes because then he backs off, taking a step away to put distance between your bodies and space to breathe.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, “I didn’t mean to get so intense.” You shake your head, trying to put away the thoughts of his beautiful blue eyes staring into your own. “Just sometimes, I really want people to know that they deserve better.”

“No, it’s okay.” You pull the tea bag out of the water, looking down for the tiny plate to leave it on. “You’re not the first person to say that to me and you probably won’t be the last.” He nods, watching you spoon sugar into the tea. “But thank you for saying that, sometimes," you pause, "sometimes, it’s good to be reminded.”

><

Your friendship grows from there, but it doesn’t evolve into anything romantic. You’re clearly still healing from Ben and no matter how much he thinks about you while he’s in Monaco or off at a race, you need time.

So instead your flat becomes his base when he’s needed at the factory. He can leave clothes and toiletries at your place without worry, he can sneak a nice home cooked meal from you or your parents when he’s there, and he doesn’t have to deal with shitty hotel mattresses. (Even though it’s a Five Star hotel.)

He meets your friends when a girls night overlaps with some sim testing. They really like him and can see that his awkward charm has pulled you in.

You meet Danny Ric at the beginning of the 2023 season, when Red Bull decides to make him their reserve driver, and the two of you are like two peas in a pod. (On the plane back to Monaco Danny asks him when he’s finally going to ask you out.)

(Max shakes his head and tells him that you two are just friends, because that’s what you need. Just friends.)

Max invites you to the Monaco Grand Prix, but you decline, not interested in the media scrutiny that comes with that particular race. You say yes to the Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona, but after he peaks at the invite list he tells you it’s probably not the best idea. You agree with him when you finally get him to tell you why you're uninvited. The Silverstone Grand Prix is during a girls trip, and with how busy it gets, you both drop the subject for a while. 

When Max clinches his third championship in Qatar you finally decide that you need to go to a race. The next one is in Texas, but it doesn’t work with your schedule so you get the passes for Mexico.

><

The Mexican Grand Prix is the perfect race to join. It’s Checo’s home race, so the focus is on him instead of Max. You stand to the back of the garage, hiding from view on Friday and Saturday. Occasionally you’ll talk with some engineers you’ve met before or share a few minutes with Adrian, but most of the time is in hiding Max’s drivers room with him. 

Most of Sunday is spent talking with the stars in the garage, explaining why you’re here and how you know people. You avoid any interviews with Sky Sports, knowing that somehow they’ll bring up Ben and Chelsea’s current run of form, something that you just can’t deal with. 

So you stay in the back of the garage, celebrate the podium in the back of the crowd and don’t wait up for Max to finish media duties, instead heading back to the hotel. It hurts to hide yourself away, you want to be the first to congratulate him on a win, or comfort him after a loss. But it’s for the best, you try convince yourself. You're just friends.

Max isn’t bitter about the decision at all. Being noticed at this race is a beacon to all fans that you are something to someone, and no matter how much he maybe wants that to be true, you’re just friends. Besides you have dinner with him and a few of the drivers and their own significant others, so really what more could he ask for?

After the season is over he’s back in Milton Keynes to finish up some things before heading out to start his holidays. Most of them will be spent with his family in Belgium or in Monaco, so he is determined to at least spend a day with you before leaving. He wasn’t planning on it being at a dog shelter.

><

“I think I want a dog,” you had told him while in Mexico. You’d spent a year alone in the flat (not counting Max practically moving in when he was needed at HQ) and things were too quiet for you. 

“Okay.” You were relaxing in his driver’s room before Free Practice 2. You’re both on the couch, him with an iPad going over some data and you with your feet up on his lap researching shelters on your phone. The domesticity of it all was frustrating.

“Are you allergic to dogs?” you ask. You know about Jimmy and Sassy back in Monaco, and he really doesn’t seem like dog person at all, but his opinion on this matters to you. His opinion on the most mundane and trivial things now matter to you. He doesn’t pay rent and so he doesn’t get the final say on anything, but if it makes life easier in Milton Keynes, you want to know what he thinks.

“No, I just prefer cats.” You nod, scrolling through the shelter’s website, looking at dogs and trying to decide which one looks like it needs love the most. “Lewis knows a lot about dogs, you can ask him about it.” It’s hard to get the sentence out, because Lewis having a say in something about your life just isn’t right. 

You shake your head no. “Lewis Hamilton doesn’t sleep in my spare bedroom.” It’s the same argument you make every time you suggest changing something in flat, and while it annoys him that you won’t take any money to pay for small stuff, it still makes him smile. 

“What do you think about this one?” you show him a picture of a Jack Russell Terrier, coincidentally named George. 

“If you get him you need to change his name.”

“Why?” You ask in fake offense. “I think he looks very much like a George.” But you move on anyway, terriers are too active for your lifestyle, you wouldn’t be able to give him the love he deserves. 

You keep on scrolling, feet still in his lap, him still looking through his iPad. You gasp suddenly, pushing yourself up and moving your legs so you can sit on them, much closer to Max. “Look!” you shove your screen in his face. “They just rescued a corgi with puppies! I love corgis!” He can see the excitement in your face and knows that he won’t ever say no to you if you look like that again. 

You pull your phone back, reading through the description quickly. “We are keeping Mama and puppies together for a few weeks to ensure health, puppies will be available for adoption in December. Please register interest.” You're pulling out your laptop to send an email when you're done.

Later that night, when you’re trying to sleep you admire how he let you rant about this dog that you’re getting. You love how he always indulges you on topics about your flat; you love that he’ll watch a shitty tv show with you and listen to you rant about the characters. You love that when you ask him questions about racing he answers with so much sincerity and interest that you can’t help but want to know more. You love so much about him that you think you might love him. 

No, you know you love him.

><

That’s how you got here, with Max at a shelter picking up a tiny corgi. Max has been carrying the collar and leash and necessary paperwork as you play with the small dog, contagious laughter falling from your lips.

“Think I should name him Charles, what do you think?” You look up from the ground, eyes so bright and happy. The smile on your face is teasing, but he misses the name because it hits him.

He’s in love with you.

He’s unable to answer you with his sudden realization, because the only words he can think of are “I love you” or long strings of curse words. 

You think he doesn’t like your joke and try to back track right away. “I’m kidding, obviously. I’m not gonna name him Charles.” Still Max only stares. “Is everything okay?” You stand up, still holding the puppy in your hands. “I promise I’m not going to name him Charles, but I’m sorry for the joke.” The puppy barks in your arms, snapping Max out of his trance. “What do you need, little one?” You ask the dog, momentarily forgetting Max’s presence. That’s what he needs, just a few seconds of you not looking at him to get his thoughts in line. He can’t be in love with you, because you don’t need a boyfriend. Just friends. 

Except he can be in love with you. Because you make him smile all the time, because you offered your spare bedroom to him so he didn’t have to deal with a shitty hotel mattress, because you send him pictures of cats you meet on the street, and let him over explain when you have questions about races. You deal with his mood swings when Jos contacts him. (It’s more than just dealing. You comfort and distract and do anything he needs.)

And maybe you do need just a friend still, but he can still love you.

It takes 20 minutes for you to finish up the paperwork for the shelter, which Max spends playing with the dog and he decides maybe he could be a your dog person. 

The ride back to your place is short, your minds replaying the same moment when you asked him what you should name the little puppy sleeping in the back. You feel bad, like you've insulted him; he’s trying to come up with a way to tell you what he’s realized.

Nothing happens that night, and nothing happens when he leaves for Monaco the next morning. 

Texts between the two of you comprise of pictures of Denny the corgi, Jimmy and Sassy the cats, and updates on how people liked their presents. It feels off, but you have no idea how to make it feel right.

On December 30th, you plan to catch your flight to Nice, but your father gets into an accident and you can’t leave your mom to deal with everything on your own. You say sorry to Max repeatedly, tell him to wish everyone there a Happy New Year and focus back on the quiet life with Denny. 

On December 31st, you wake up to the smell of coffee and toast. It’s alarming because no one else is here, so why does it smell like breakfast?

You push open the door cautiously, forgetting for a moment that Denny is there, so he sneaks out the tiny crack. “Denny! No!” you whisper-shout, hurrying after the little guy, all regard for your own safety lost. You find him in the arms of Max, licking his face and wiggling his butt with untamed excitement. “Max?”

“Hi, schatje.” His smile is almost enough to distract you from the fact that he is here. You approach the two slowly, grabbing Denny from his arms to put him down. 

“What are you doing here?” Denny paws at you, reminding you that he needs to go out and do his business. 

Max ignores your question, instead pushing a mug of coffee into your hands. “Take this, I’ll take Denny outside.” He grabs Denny from the floor again, making his way to the front where you have his leash hanging up. “Be right back, schatje.” You can only nod at him, watching the two walk out of the front door.

They’re back in two minutes, enough time for you to put out Denny’s breakfast and drink some of your coffee in peace, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that Max is here. The door opens and Denny comes rushing in, Max close behind. He hangs up the leash with his keys, then turns back to you with a smile.

Max takes his own mug, leaning his back against the counter to watch you. “Why are you here?” you ask again. 

“You said you couldn’t come to Monaco for New Year’s, so I thought I’d come here.” He says it so casually it irritates you. “Plus, I can take some work off of you or your mom when dealing with your Dad.”

Oh, he’s being sweet. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, but I want to help someone I love.” He says that so casually it catches you off guard. Thank god you didn’t have anything in your mouth or you would have definitely spit it out.

He smirks over his cup, watching you splutter for an answer to his simple confession. “You… you love me?” He nods then puts his mug down. A few steps over to you and he grabs the one in your hands, putting that down next to his own. With his other hand he moves to cup the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You want to ask what he’s doing, try to stop this before it can even start, but Max is determined. (You’re grateful for that.)

There’s almost no space left between the two of you, just enough really for him to be able to look at your face while he asks if this is okay. A gulp, a breath, and a nod later he’s dipping his head down to yours, closing the distance, and kissing you. 

Your eyes close instantly. Your hands travel to their own accord, reaching up to lock around his neck and keep him close. Your ears ring for some odd reason and your nose can only smell coffee. You can taste red bull on his lips and you wonder how long he's been up.

The kiss is soft and slow and over before you really have a chance to appreciate it.

You open your eyes to see him, his lips spread in a wide smile that has you blushing. “Been waiting to do that for a while.” That has you blush even deeper, but he doesn’t let you dip your head to hide it. “Seriously, schatje. I love you.”

“I love you too.” It’s a whisper, but he doesn’t miss it with how close you are. But even if he had missed it, you’ll say it so many more times in the future that people get sick of it.

[writing-until-i-drop]

What's In A Name? Chapter Five

Meg Harding and Kate Carter were inseparable until their friends died five ago, then she ran to New Orleans to save lives as a paramedic. But when Javi calls on his two oldest friends to help him collect data, counting on their matching natural instincts for tornadoes, Meg goes home for the first time in years. That's where she meets Tyler and the rest of the Wranglers, the YouTube storm chasers her dad likes to watch, and finds herself fitting in more with them than with Storm PAR. Meg only plans to stay for the week but will it be easy to leave when the dust settles?

If a certain cowboy has a say in it, nothing about leaving is going to be easy.

A/N: Meg has to make a very interesting phone call...

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

Meg woke up with Tyler curled around her, his heavy arm draped over her waist, a large hand splayed across her stomach, keeping her tight against him. It had been the best night of sleep of her life and she stubbornly gave credit to the softness of Boone’s shirt for it. She carefully slipped out of his hold and down the ladder.

At some point, the Wranglers had driven the camper and the rest of their vehicles to a different motel and they were all gathered up outside, bundled in blankets, sitting around an extinguished fire. Boone was the first to notice her, popping out of his chair to hug her tightly, rocking her back and forth.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Doc, and thank you, thank you, for keeping T safe.” The rest of the Wranglers were quick to join in on the hug, even Ben after she heard the shutter of his camera. Meg almost started crying from the sheer amount of love surrounding her, feeling at home again in Oklahoma for the first time in five years. “You hungry, Doc?”

“Starvin’,” Her stomach growled in agreement.

“I’ll rustle something up,” Boone patted her on the shoulder. “Also, do your parents watch our streams?” She nodded. “They were name-dropping you something fierce in the chat last night, asking for updates if you were okay.” Of course, they had. Meg knew better than to think it was just her dad demanding answers in the chat.

“The whole crew’s probably at my parent’s house debating whether they should drive out here.” She shook her head with a huff of laughter. “Dex, can I borrow your phone? I don’t know what happened to mine.” He obliged and she dialed the house phone, putting it on speaker.

“Harding’s phone,” Rabbit picked up. “Meggy, this you?” Dexter’s mouth fell open, putting all the pieces together faster than the rest.

“Yeah, it’s me. Y’all can stop freaking out, all limbs are accounted for and in working order.” 

“Bill, Jo, guys, it’s Meggy!” 

“Meggy, honey,’ Preacher’s voice was the next on the line. “You scared us half to death.” 

“Margaret Marie Harding,” Her mom shouted into the receiver. “Have you lost your damn mind?” Meg cringed,

“Mama, I’m just following in dad’s footsteps.” There were shouts of “The Extreme” in the background. “Also, y’all might be on speaker with the Tornado Wranglers.” 

“Holy shit, Meggy,” That was Beltzer.

“We’re big fans,” And that was Haynes. The Wranglers were watching her with amused and star-struck looks. Ben, thankfully, was the first to recover.

“Your daughter is quite remarkable.” 

“And alive,” Boone added, giving Meg a thumbs up that she returned, mouthing good job.

“We’re glad to hear it. Hi, Pumpkin.” 

“Hiya, dad. Did you want that mug of yours signed? Pretty sure I can swing it.” 

“Dani, get the man a mug!” Dexter pushed a laughing Dani towards the camper where Tyler still slept. The Wranglers and the original team energetically traded exclamations of excitement and amusement that Meg had kept her last name a secret for so long. That was until her mama started shouting again. 

“I don’t want you anywhere near a tornado unless you’re harnessed  in, do you understand me, young lady?” 

“Mama, please, you’re embarrassing me.” 

“Let me talk to Dexter,” Jo demanded. “He seems like the only responsible one.” Meg didn’t argue, taking her mom off speaker and handing the phone to Dexter.

“Yes, ma’am?” There was a shout of her name from inside the camper, signaling to everyone that Tyler had woken up to an empty bed.  The Wranglers snickered at her, Lily giving her a good-natured shove to the shoulder. “Of course, ma’am. I’ll make sure of it.” 

Tyler came stumbling out of the camper, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, a grinning Dani right behind him with a mug and a marker in either hand.

“Where’s Meg?” 

“That’s Meg Harding to you, Ty,” Lily teased and Tyler’s eyes went wide. “Yup, your girlfriend’s the daughter of storm-chasing legends.” Meg flushed, hoping her parents hadn’t heard that. Tyler looked at her, dumbstruck.

“Your parents are…”

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit,” Tyler ran a hand through his already chaotic hair. “You’re a-,” He pointed at her, “Your parents are-” Meg nodded. “Holy shit.” 

“My parents are big fans of your channel, Ty.” She saw the moment Tyler’s brain fully stopped functioning, giggling. 

“I need coffee,” Tyler’s shoulders slumped. He sat down in Boone’s abandoned seat beside Meg, grabbing her hand and squeezing it, like he was afraid she’d run off on him. Meg squeezed back. “Who’s he talking to?”

“My family.” Meg could get used to surprising the hell out of Tyler, laughing at the startled look on his face.

“Doc, Rabbit wants to talk to you.” Dexter jogged the phone over. “Can I meet your parents?” He whispered and Meg nodded, rolling her eyes with a smile.

“What’s up?” 

“Don’t let your mom fool you, Meggy. She’s giddy as hell you’re chasing again.” Meg knew that in her heart but the reassurance made her smile. “Also, we’re betting on how long it takes you to ride the cowboy. Don’t tell your dad.”

“Rabbit!” Meg shrieked, slapping a hand over her mouth. She glanced over at the sleepy man beside her who didn’t seem to have heard what Rabbit said. Meg was going to turn that man into rabbit stew the next time she saw him.

“Blame Haynes, her idea.” 

“Don’t blame me, blame Joey!” 

“She knows damn well it wasn’t me, it was definitely Lawrence.” Could they get any more embarrassing? She felt like she was fifteen again, listening to the group place bets on how her first date would go.

“Guuuuyyyyysss. Can you please just put my dad on the phone?” There was a brief shuffle.

“Hey, Pumpkin. What was Rabbit saying?” 

“Nothing, just being annoying. She glanced at her blonde cowboy, getting a mischievous idea. “Tyler’s here if you want to talk to him, he’s a fan of yours.” She giggled at the look on his face. “Well, you talk, he’ll hyperventilate.” 

“Be nice to that boy,” Her dad scolded playfully. “I’ve got fifty bucks on you marrying him.” 

“Oh my God, that’s so much worse!” She wanted to disappear into thin air. Tyler took the outstretched phone.

“This is Tyler Owens, sir.” Tyler sat up straighter in his seat, running a hand through his bed head.

Boone came jogging back to the group, holding a 7/11 bag above his head.

“I got you coffee, a muffin, and a burrito.” Giving Tyler’s hand one last squeeze, Meg went to collect her breakfast, thanking the man with a kiss on the cheek. “Dani said you take lots of cream and sugar.” Meg looked at the woman who shrugged,

“I guessed.” 

“You guessed right, Sweet Thing. Thanks again, Boonie Baby,” She gave him another kiss on the cheek before going back to her seat. Meg kept the burrito, passing Tyler the blueberry muffin.

“Yes, sir. No, sir,” Meg couldn’t help but wonder what her dad was asking him, nibbling on the corner of the lukewarm burrito. Bean and cheese, nice. “No, she didn’t tell us her last name.” Tyler chuckled, “Yes, sir. I’m starting to understand that.” He paused, eyes going wide. Meg shifted in her chair, letting her legs fall across Tyler’s lap. He rested a hand on her knee and Meg couldn’t help but think that she could do this every morning, sitting there, admiring Tyler’s stubbled jaw line while the rest of the Wranglers joked around with each other. “I’d be honored but first we’ve got to go find Kate, yes, sir. Sapulpa.” He tapped her knee, “Here, darlin’.” He passed the phone, trading it for her coffee, his nose scrunching up. “I prefer black.”

“Not everything’s about you, Arkansas.” Tyler stuck his tongue out at her. “Hey, dad.” 

“You should marry that boy, Meg.” Her eyes cut to Tyler who was eyeing her back with a small smile on his face, making him even cuter than normal. 

“We’ll see, dad,” She sighed. “Gotta chase down my other half first. Now go feed the guys, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Pumpkin. Come home before you leave.”

“I will, should I bring Kate?” 

“And Tyler. Keep an eye on the sky, Pumpkin.” Meg hung up, mumbling through a mouthful of burrito.

“Trouble makin’ busy bodies, the whole group of ‘em.” 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were Jo and Bill Harding’s daughter,” Her mom would have liked the way he put her name first. “No wonder you’ve got such good instincts.” 

“Get ‘em from my daddy.” Dani came over, presenting Tyler with the mug to sign.

“And here I didn’t think you could get any cooler, Meg,” Dani teased. “We gotta keep you around.” 

“Here here,” Boone raised his coffee in cheers. “T, buddy, don’t go fucking this up for us.” The Wranglers all added their agreement, making Meg laugh. She swiped the coffee back from Tyler, admonishing him for drinking more than half the cup if he didn’t like it. Then it hit her and she nearly spit out her mouthful of coffee. Lily had called her his girlfriend and neither she nor Tyler had corrected her. What the hell did that mean?

“Stop thinking so hard, darlin’.” Tyler squeezed her knee like he could read her mind. “Just enjoy the morning.” His hand moved up to her thigh as he kicked back in his chair to eat and she rested her hand on top of his, letting her attention fall to Boone and Dani as they teased Dexter for his fangirling. Ben started snapping pictures and Meg didn’t let herself worry about how she looked wearing borrowed clothes, eating a gas station burrito, mud from the night before still on her cheeks, with Tyler’s hand on her thigh.

Unlike when he was chasing, Tyler was an incredibly safe driver on the way to Sapulpa. Meg on the other hand was an incredibly unsafe passenger. She had the passenger seat pushed all the way back, her feet kicked up on the dash, and her boots abandoned on the floorboards.

Lily had lent her a pair of mismatched socks, one was striped and the other was dotted. They were both singing along to the country music blaring on the radio and Meg couldn’t remember a time she felt happier. And she was sad she had to ruin it.

“I should probably tell you what you’re gettin’ into before we get there, Ty.” Tyler turned off the radio, giving her as much attention as he could while driving.

“What, darlin’, you hiding a boyfriend from me in Sapulpa?” Meg snorted, she wished that’s all she had to confess. Instead, she held out her hands in front of her. Her fingertips were all kinked, not quite straight. They were also calloused and scarred, not only from chasing but from her time as a paramedic. Her favorite scar was one on the pad of her thumb, permanently messing up her fingerprints, from when she stuck herself with an EPI pen instead of the patient. 

“You ever notice how crooked my fingers are?” 

“I was a bull rider, healed breaks are normal to me.” She hummed at his non-answer, answer. 

“I met Kate in college and we became close, our friend Addy used to call us two shades of the same color. Always the same but slightly different.” Dandelion and Sunflower, shades of yellow, were her favorite comparison to make. She’d always make a joke about how they were happiest when the sun was hidden behind clouds, so they needed to be surrounded by bright colors. “Mama was her thesis advisor. There were six of us helping her with the research.” 

Meg let the tears roll down her cheeks without wiping them away.

“Parveen and Kate spearheaded the actual idea, Javi collected the data with Dorothy, Addy was there to take photos, Jeb,” She chuckled. “Jeb was just in love with Kate, so he’d follow her anywhere, and I was there to make sure no one got hurt. But they did.” She had spent a lot of time on her partner’s couch drinking and thinking about the situation, coming to grips with the fact that her EMT certification couldn’t have saved her friends that day. “Everything was going great and then an EF-5 came out of nowhere.” 

Tyler exhaled heavily, reaching out to rub her knee.

“We thought it was going to be an EF-1, maybe 2, so we didn’t have the good sense to be scared until it was too late.” 

“I’m sorry, Meg,” Tyler offered in sympathy. Because what the hell else do you say when someone’s telling a story like that?

“Our only hope was an underpass, which tells you how shit outta luck we were. Parveen couldn’t run so fast and was swept up first, then I fell and I dug my fingers into the dirt to hold on.” Her fingers and wrist ached at the memory, “I broke every single one of my fingers and debris shattered my wrist. While I was layin’ there, I heard Addy and Jeb fly away, screaming for their lives.” 

“Shit, Meg. That’s horrible,” She hummed in agreement.

“Kate survived of course but she won’t talk about it and Javi was in the follow vehicle. All he could do was watch as the tornado headed our way. To hear him tell it, it was the worst day of his life and it probably was.” The hurtful things Javi said the night before filtered through her mind, making her sick to her stomach. “Police officer found me and Kate stumbling along the highway, trying to get back to Javi, and took us to the hospital.” 

Meg took a long, deep breath. If things had gone differently that day, her life would have turned out a lot differently. She never would have moved, none of them would have.

“Kate ran away to New York, Javi joined the military, and I went to New Orleans. I was a wreck on the job but my partner Nick’s always had my back. You’d like him,” Nick was her rock, both on and off the job. “He took me to my first second line after one of our GSW patients, Tayvon, a fifteen-year-old kid, didn’t make it.” 

It had been her second week on the job, she had never been on the scene of a drive-by shooting before, there had been so much chaos and blood. They worked on him for a few minutes before they decided it was best to work while driving. Meg had still been an EMT, so Nick worked on Tayvon in the back of the rig while she drove through the busy streets like a bat out of hell. By the time they passed him off to the doctors, things were looking up.

  “To see everyone smiling through their tears and celebrating that kid’s life, it healed me more than anything else ever could. Everyone needs a Nick and Kate didn’t have one.” 

“I think I want to meet this Nick guy,” Tyler squeezed her knee, “Buy him a beer and thank him for taking care of you.” Meg chuckled, thinking about all of the embarrassing stories Nick would tell him about her.

“He’d buy you a beer, tryin’ to charm you into making me your problem instead of his.” 

“Be my problem, baby,” Tyler’s hand moved upwards to squeeze her thigh. Meg laid her hand over his, tears starting up again.

“I’m crying about my dead friends while you drive me to see my traumatized other half. Hate to say it, Sweetie Pie, but I think I’m already your problem.” Laughter filled the truck, first hers and then Tyler’s. “A little late to back out now.” 

“I’m not backing out, Meg, just making sure we’re on the same page.” 

“Which is?” She feigned ignorance. 

“You’re my problem, baby. All mine.” Her dad was going to be over the moon whenever she told him about this conversation. So would Nick.

“Thoughts and prayers, Cowboy. You’re gonna need ‘em.” 

Taglist: @theforevermorereject @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @sinners-98-world @nerdgirljen @candlejuice @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby @football1921 @katiemcrae @emma8895eb @itsdesiree86

Next Chapter

[forthegothicheroine]

OK. Now that I can never read NeverWhere or Good Omens or American Gods again, are there any other authors that are kind of roughly equivalent in terms of tone and subject matter (urban fantasy with a whimsical tone and weird eccentric characters) or am I well and truly out of luck there and just have to look for a different genre altogether

I can make recommendations, but I can't necessarily promise none of the authors have ever done bad things- I'm not usually scrupulous about that, it's just that Neil Gaiman feels personal since we were tumblr mutuals, and since so much of the sff community has been silent about it. It's awful.

In any case, I can offer some recommendations. All of them are their own brand of weirdness, but they are good places to start exploring!

Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott

Last Call by Tim Powers

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch

Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire

Among Others by Jo Walton

Nights at the Circus by Angela Carter

Our Lady of Darkness by Fritz Leiber

We Weill All Go Down Together by Gemma Files (this one is more horror than fantasy but has the eccentric urban magic vibe)

As always, I'm opening this up to my followers for more recs!

[kokorose]

Birthday- MV1

Max Verstappen x (ex-boyfriend)musicianmale!reader

Faceclaim: Ten(WayV/NCT)

Summary: The one where Max gets back with his ex.

A/n: Max and Yn were a secret back when they dated the first time. Why? Jos.

A/n: Once again, I’m not speculating anyone’s sexuality!

A/n: and no hate towards Kelly.

Google translate Dutch, Thai and Chinese.

YnLn posted

Liked by AlexAlbon, LilyMuniHe, ysl, YangYang, JacksonWang, MaxVerstappen1 and 902,729 others

YnLn: Thank you WKorea for having me!

Tagged: WKorea, ysl

See all 36,728 comments

AlexAlbon: 🫱👑 here you dropped this

LilyMuniHe: YNNNNNNNN!!! 😍😍😍😍

YnLn: LILYYYYYY!!!

User: damnnnn!!!!

Ysl: ❤️❤️❤️

WKorea: ❤️

User: I love that Alex and Lily are still so close to Yn even after Yn and Max stopped being friends.

User: MAX IN THE LIKES!

YnLn posted to their story

Seen by YangYang, AlexAlbon, LilyMuniHe, MaxVerstappen1, GeorgeRussell, LoganSargent, and 453,479 others

YnLn:🚁🚁

Replies:

YangYang: have fun with your boy toy 😜

YnLn: he’s not my boy toy. We aren’t going there again.

YangYang: you say that now but by the end of the day I’ll be getting a phone call.

YnLn: 🖕🏻

AlexAlbon: 🤨🤨 you didn’t tell me you were coming?!

MaxVerstappen1: You’re in Monaco??

YnLn: you said you would like to talk, I thought it would be better in person.

User: MONACO?!?

User: YN’s IN MONACO?!?

YnLn posted

Liked by MaxVerstappen1, AlexAlbon, LilyMuniHe, YangYang, JohnnySuh, LandoNorris and 726,739 others

YnLn: Much needed conversations over a nice meal.

See all 26,729 comments

AlexAlbon: Yn??? Are you serious right now? You guys met up?

User: wait what???? Who’s that??

User: Alex what do you know!??!

LilyMuniHe: omg omg omg!!!

YangYang: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

User: what is going on?!?

LandoNorris: 🤨🤨

YnLn posted

Liked by MaxVerstappen1, AlexAlbon, LilyMuniHe, YangYang, JohnnySeo, DanielRicciardo and 678,689 others

YnLn: late night conversations and couch cuddles with my new friend J.

See all 23,729 comments

YangYang: 你说你不会再去那里了,哥? (and you said you weren’t going to go there again??)

YnLn: 😒

LilyMuniHe: 杨洋，我的新朋友，你知道什么？？(YangYang, my new friend, what do you know??)

YangYang: Lily 姐姐，你知道多少？(older sister Lily, how much do you know?)

LilyMuniHe: I’ll message you!

User: what is going on?!? What does YangYang know?!

DanielRicciardo: Nice cat.

User: Who’s cat is that???

User: YN’s “new friend J” looks a lot like a certain formula one drivers cat.

YnLn posted:

Liked by MaxVerstappen1, AlexAlbon, YangYang, LilyMuniHe, DanielRicciardo, LandoNorris, victoriaverstappen and 679,570 others

YnLn: falling back into old patterns

See all 27,739 comments

YangYang: 🙄🙄

LilyMuniHe: 🤭🤭

User: omg!?

User: who’s that?!?

AlexAlbon: omg!?! You slept with HIM?!?

YnLn: I did not!!

AlexAlbon: then why are you in his bed?!?

YnLn: …no comment

User: is that Max?!?

MaxVerstappen1 posted to his story

Seen by DanielRicciardo, LandoNorris, victoriaverstappen, YnLn and 473,739 others

MaxVerstappen1: back where you belong

Replies

YnLn: Maxy… 🥺

MaxVerstappen1: ❤️

DanielRicciardo: you know you didn’t post this close friends right??

MaxVerstappen1: I know Dan

victoriaverstappen: so I’m guessing you two are back together? Does He know about this?

MaxVerstappen1: I don’t care Vic. I lost Yn once because of him, I won’t do it again. This time I’ll fight for us. I made the worst mistake of my life letting him go the first time.

victoriaverstappen: good. Ik ben trots op je Broer(I’m proud of you, brother)

User: Max!?!?

YnLn posted

Liked by MaxVerstappen1, AlexAlbon, LilyMuniHe, YangYang, Hendry, and 725,729 others

YnLn: forever this time

See all 67,839 comments

User: This time?!?

YangYang: it’s gonna work

LilyMuniHe: Yn 🥺🥺🥺

AlexAlbon: oh shit

MaxVerstappen1: 😊

User: oh shit!!

User: Max?!?

LandoNorris: you guys are too cute together to not last forever

YnLn posted

Liked by MaxVerstappen1, YangYang, SMEntertainment, WayVOfficial, AlexAlbon, LilyMuniHe, and 1,728,379 others

YnLn: My new single Birthday is now available on all streaming platforms. Hope you all enjoy!!

See all 245,578 comments

User: ExCuSe Me?!??

User: “got my body rocking in slow motion”!!! 🤯🤯🤯

User: “let’s make tonight your birthday?!?”

User: “I’m talking’ with my hands?!?” Excuse me Mr.Ln?!? Who said you can do this!?

DanielRicciardo: I did not need to know about your sex life Yn!!!

YangYang: wow

User: not Yn dropping this on Max Verstappen aka his rumored bf’s birthday!?!

LilyMuniHe: That Music Video was everything!!

YnLn posted

📍phuket, Thailand

Liked by MaxVerstappen1, YangYang,AlexAlbon, BamBam, LaLisa, LilyMuniHe, JungJaehyun, doyoung, and 1,739,783

YnLn: หัวใจของฉัน ❤️❤️ (my heart)

See all 56,738 comments

MaxVerstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰

AlexAlbon: ในที่สุด (finally!)

YangYang: 😏😏😏

User: omg?!??

User: it was Max!!!

User: “my heart” 😩😩

JungJaehyun: Now he has to come meet ALL of us Yn!

JohnnySeo: Yeah Yn, all 22 of us

MaxVerstappen1: 😨

User: not the NCT boys threatening Max!! 😂😂

MaxVerstappen1 posted

Liked by DanielRicciardo, LandoNorris, victoriaverstappen, YangYang, OracleRedBullRacing, and 1,628,839 others

MaxVerstappen1: I won’t let you go this time. And I’ll spend my whole life making up for letting you go the first time. ik hou van jou, mijn ster(I love you, my star)

See all 362,738 comments

YnLn: I love you too baby!!!

DaniellRicciardo: Yes Maxy. Y’all were disgustingly adorable the first time and now you guys can be disgustingly adorable again.

YangYang: once again just remember that there’s 22 of us watching out for Yn!!

OracelRedBullRacing: Congratulations Max!

victoriaverstappen: Proud of you Max!

A/n: Sorry this one took a bit longer, My allergies have been kicking my butt! Anyways, next up is our dear Logie Bear!

[raatart]

a complete boycott list in alphabetical order

a complete list of companies / brands / franchises to boycott in support of palestine that i have been working on putting together for a while now.

remember to support your local businesses

stand with palestine against genocide

(Food & Beverages)

A

Activia

Acqua Panna

Akmina

Absolute Vodka

Algida

A&W

Aquafina

Alpro

Actimel

B

Burger King

Baskin Robbins

Ben & Jerry's

Bugles

Betty Crocker

Badoit

Becel

C

Coca Cola

Costa Coffee

Cadbury

Cheerios

Cheetos

Campbells

Calve

Cappy

Chiquita

D

Dominos

Dasani

Dunkin' Donuts

Doritos

Dr Pepper

Danone

Dolcela

Damla

Dogadan

E

Evian

Eden

F

Fanta

Frito-lay

Fruit by the Foot Roll Ups

Falim

Fresca

G

Gatorade

Greggs

H

Hardees

Haagen Dazs

Heinz Ketchup

Hershey's

Hard Rock Cafe

Heinz

I

Innocent

Israeli Fruits & Vegetables

J

Jacob's

Jaffa

K

KitKat

KFC

Kbueno

Kraft Mac & Cheese

Kellogg's

Kraft

L

Lipton

Lays

M

McDonald's

Mars

Marks & Spencers

Maggi

Marila

Monster

Mountain Dew

Mehadrin

Minute Maid

Milk Bar

M&M's

Magnum Ice Cream

Milka Chocolates

N

Nestle

Nestle Cereals

Nescafe

Nesquik

Nespresso

Nido

Nutella

Nature Valley

Nestle Milo

Nestle Carnation

Nestle Coffee Mate

Nestle Nestum

Nimbooz

Nestea

O

Orea

Original Shredded Wheat

P

Papa John's

Pepsi

Pringles

Pizza Hut

Perrier

Pillsbury

Popeyes

Pretty a Manager

Pure Life

Powerade

Popup Bagels

Q

Quality Street

Quaker

R

Redbull

Ruffles

S

Starbucks

Subway

Smartwater

Sweetgreen

Snickers

Sprite

Sabra

Sunkist

Strauss

Smarties

S.pellegrino

Schweppes

Sana

Sirma

Sara Lee

T

Toblerone

Tang

Twix

Tesco

Tropicana

U

V

Vittle

Volvic

W

Wall's

Walmart

Walkers

Wrigley's

X

Y

Z

7Up

(Clothing)

A

America Eagle

Adidas

Alo

Adina Eden Jewelry

B

C

Converse

Calvin Klein

Cat

Castro

D

Drew

Diesel

E

F

G

Good American

GAP

H

H&M

I

J

K

Kamili

L

Levi's

Lumberjack

M

Mango

N

Nike

O

Oasis

P

Puma

Q

R

River Island

S

Skims

Skinny Dip

St. Mark

Style Nadia

T

Timberland

U

V

Victoria's Secret

Vakko

W

We Wore That

Wyeth

X

Y

Z

Zara

(Beauty)

A

Aveda

Amika

Avon

Aussie

Aveeno

Always

Aesop

Ahava

B

Bobbi Brown

Blistex

Bath & Body Works

Britney Spears Fragrance

Becca

Biotherm

Beauty Blender

C

Clinique

Covergirl

Colgate

Calgon

Camay

CeraVe

Christina Aguilera Perfumes

Clean & Clear

Crest

CND

Cacharel

D

Dr. Jart+

Dove

Dettol

Darphin Paris

Dark & Lovely

E

Essie

Elidor

F

Fenty Beauty

Fair & Lovely

G

Garnier

Gillette

Glam Glow

H

Honest Beauty

Haci Sakir

Herbal Essences

Head & Shoulders

Hugo Boss

I

J

Jo Malone

Johnson & Johnsom

K

Kerastase

Kiehl's

Kylie Cosmetics

Kylie Skin

Kotex

L

L'Oreal

Lacome

La Roche-Posey

Lifebuoy

Lux

Lubiderm

M

Maybelline

MAC

Moroccan Oil

Maui

Matrix

Max Factor

N

Nyx

Neutrogena

Nivea

Nature's Beauty

Niely

O

Olay

Origins

Orkid

Oral-B

Oax

P

Pepsodent

Pantene

Q

R

Revlon

Rimmel

Rexona

Rhode

S

Summer Fridays

Schick

Smashbox

Sephora

Sensodyne

Skinceuticals

Skin Better Science

T

The Body Shop

Too Faced Cosmetics

The Ordinary

Tom Ford Beauty

Tampax

Takami

U

Urban Decay

Ulta Beauty

V

Vichy

Vaseline

Veet

W

X

Y

Yes to

Yuesai

Z

(Luxury)

A

B

C

Chanel

D

E

Estee Lauder

F

G

Georgio Armani

H

I

J

K

L

LVMH

Louis Vuitton

La Mer

Lavs

Le Labo

M

Mugler

Maison Margiela

N

O

P

Prada

Q

R

Raplh Lauren

S

T

Tiffany & Co.

Tom Ford

Tommy Hilfiger

U

V

Valentino

W

X

Y

Yves Saint Laurent

Z

(Tech & Entertainment)

A

Aol

Amazon

AirBnB

Apple

B

BBC

Buxton

Barbie

Booking.com

C

CNN

D

Disney+

Dell

E

Energizer

F

Ford

Fiverr

G

Galaxy

H

HP

Hyundai

Hulu

I

IBM

Intel

J

K

L

Lego

M

Motorola

Movenpick

Mattel

Microsoft

N

National Geographic

Nokia

Netflix

O

Oracle

Oxi

P

Philips

Q

R

Rolls Royce

S

Siemens

Sodastream

T

Toys R Us

U

V

Volvo

Valvoline

W

Wix

X

Y

Z

(Other)

A

Axa

Ariel

Aero

Ambi Pur

Airwick

Aroma

AVC

Amway

Ace Hardware

Andrex

American Express

B

Bounty

Black & Decker

Bonux

Bref

Braun

Benadryl

Band-aid

Barclays

Blue Cross Blue Shield

Better Help

C

Caltex

Chevron

Culligan

Citi Bank

Chicco

Cravola

Clearblue

Capital One

D

Dash

Drynites

Dosmestos

Doona

E

Expedia

F

Finish

Febreeze

Fixodent

Fairy

G

Goop

Gerber

Gys

H

HSBC

Huggies

Hayat

I

Imodium

J

JCB

K

Kimberly-Clark

Kleenex

L

Lion

Little Swimmers

Lenor

M

Mr Muscle

Minidou

Monsanto

N

Nicorette

O

Omo

P

Pampers

Purina Felix

Payoneer

Palmolive

Protex

Pull-ups

P&G

Prima

Pril

Paramount Pictures

Q

R

Rejoice

Rinso

Rogaine

S

Signal

Sensus

Sudafed

T

Tide

U

Unilever

Us Cellular

V

Vim

Vanish

Vicks

W

X

Y

Yumus

Z

(Places)

A

B

C

D

Disney

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

(People)

A

Ashley Tisdale

Amy Schumer

Andy Beshear

B

Bono

Ben Savage

Bella Thorne

Beyonce

C

Chris Evans

Claire Holt

Ciara

Chris Rock

Chris Pine

D

Demi Lovato

Dwayne Johnson

DJ Khaled

E

Eva Longoria

F

G

Gal Gadot

H

I

Ian Somerhalder

J

Jamie Lee Curtis

James Maslow

Justin Bieber

Jennifer Aniston

Jaclyn Hill

Jack Harlow

Jordan Peele

Joseph Quinn

Jack Black

K

Kylie Jenner

Kim Kardashian

Kris Jenner

Kerry Washington

Katie Perry

Karlie Kloss

Khloe Kardashian

Kat Graham

Kendall Jenner

Kourtney Kardashian

L

Lebron James

Lana Condor

Lana Del Rey

M

Millie Bobby Brown

Malala

Mindy Kaling

Mark Hamill

Madonna

N

NFL

Nina Dobrev

Natalie Portman

Nabela

Nicole Richie

Noah Schnapp

O

Octovia Spencer

P

Perez Hilton

Paul Wesley

Phoebe Tonkin

Pia Mia

P!nk

Q

R

Ronaldinho

Rihanna

S

Sofia Richie

Shaquir O'neal

Selena Gomez

T

Tara Strong

Taika Waititi

Taylor Swift

Tyler Perry

U

Usher

U2

V

Vanessa Hudgens

Viola Davis

W

X

Y

Z

[oldtvandcomics]

Book Shout-outs for Pride Month #2:

Asexual edition.

Row One: Stand-Alones:

Asexual Fairy Tales by Elizabeth Hopkinson: Exactly what it says on the tin, a collection of asexual fairy tale retellings. Hopkinson has written two more collections like this.

Space Cadets by Robin Banks: In a dystopian future, five cadets are the only survivors of a cruel space battle. They take their ship and run, and have to consequently figure out, what to do next.

Baker Thief by Claudie Arsenault: New in the city, a police officer chases after a thief who broke into her home and stole her expensive power source, only to stumble on a conspiracy.

Row Two: Series with two books:

The King's Peace/The King's Name (Sulien series) by Jo Walton: Arthurian retelling set in an alternate universe. The main character and narrator is the equivalent of our Sir Lancelot, the King's best and most trusted general. She narrates the story from their first meeting to after his death.

Dread Nation/Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland: Alternate history where the American Civil War ended in a zombie apocalypse, and people of color are being forced to fight the zombies. The asexual character, Katherine, is there from the beginning on, but only becomes a POV character in the second book.

Row Three: Series with more than two books:

The Dreamhealers series by M.C.A Hogarth: In a space fantasy world with many different species living together in harmony, it follows the lives of two psychology students (later doctors), who form a mental link and become platonic life partners.

The Margin Street Zeroes series by Robin Banks: Follows the lives of three (later four) very broke, very neurodivergent and very queer university students who are also harassed by gods and magic. They form a found family that actively defies societal expectations. The asexual storyline only starts in book 3, but one of the two asexual characters, Ben, is there all along. The other, AK, also only joins in book 3.

I probably could scratch together some more, especially if I add in my TBR list, but these are my go-tos.

[lazybug16]

Books I've read in the last few months and recommend (and yes, all of them are queer)

Book recs 1 / Book recs 2

Info and ratings of each book underneath!

Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve

Dean thought he was a lesbian for a long time, but he then learns what transgender is and starts to think about his own gender and how he feels like a boy, he's just scared of how he will tell his friends and his girlfriend, who is also a lesbian

Really good book and explained it all super well, really good rep tbh and even though everyone is messy in some way you feel for (almost) every character 8/10 (trans men, trans women, non binary, lesbian, gay and bisexual characters)

Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao

We follow Jo and Sophie during their first year at Wellesley College, who meet in a class and become friends, but what they don't know is that they also know each other online, as Wendy and Wanda and they don't exactly get along swimmingly. Oh, they are both also aroace, and become closer after telling each other that

If you're aspec or questioning it or just want to know more about it and what we go through in this world as aroace people? This is the book for you, it's so good and so relatable 10/10 (Asexual, aromantic, bisexual, lesbian, pansexual, demisexual and non binary characters)

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Dever

Ben comes out to their parents and gets kicked out, making them call their sister who they hadn't seen in 10 years to pick them up, and even if their life is shitty in that moment, happier days are to come

I loved this story so so much but I wanted to kill the parents. Really well written and the sibling and friends are so loveable! 9/10 (non binary, queer, pansexual and bisexual characters)

I'll Be Home For Christmas by Mason Deaver

Takes place 4 months after iwyatb at christmas time, Ben wants to surprise Nathan but a snowstorm gets in the way... Or does it?

Loved this short story so much! You just fall in love with Ben and Nathans love! And wow in both books I could relate to Ben's anxiety so much it was scary 10/10 (non binary, queer, pansexual and bisexual characters)

Like real people do by E. L. Massey

Eli, a disabled 18 year old who loves to skate runs into Alex, a 19 year old famous hockey player, and they quickly become friends, but soon develop feelings for each other and must figure out if an out guy and a closeted guy can be together

Adorable, just fucking adorable I love this book so much and the two main characters and their friends are absolute sweethearts, was thinking this book wasn't going to be for me cause hockey isn't something I like but wow was I wrong, so glad I gave this book a chance 10/10 (gay and bisexual characters)

Like you've nothing left to prove by E. L. Massey

Second book of "Like real people do" and follows Eli and Alex navigate their relationship as well as their passions, hockey and figure skating

If you loved the first book this is just a continuation of it and again, so adorable and loveable, just a delight to read 10/10 (gay and bisexual characters)

Milo and Marcos at the end of the world by Kevin Christopher Snipes

His last year of high school and a familiar face appears after three years. Milo remembers Marcos from camp and hasn't stopped thinking about him, and maybe the same can be said about Marcos?

This was a rollercoaster to say the least lol but very interesting read, and Milo and Marcos are very lovable characters (even though stubborn sometimes but who isn't?) And Vanessa is the best friend anyone can have. Although the religious themes was sometimes too much, but understandable why it was put there 8/10 (gay characters)

The Passing Playbook by Isaac Fitzsimons

Spencer changes schools since the previous one wasn't accepting of his transgender identity, and the new one is more open to queer people, and they also have a football/soccer team which he would love to join

Such a sweet story and I just loved all the kids, Spencer and Justice are so cute together, all the teammates are super nice and Theo (Spencer's autistic younger brother) is absolutely adorable, really nice read 10/10 (Transgender, queer, gay and bisexual characters)

They hate each other by Amanda Woody

Dylan and Jonah don't get along, they hate each other, but after deciding to fake date to get everyone in school off their backs by saying they would make the perfect couple, over time they might realize that they were right

Loved this book so much!!! Wanted to adopt Jonah and hug Dylan, protect these boys at all costs, and Jonahs sisters were too adorable, even though it had heavy topics it was really well done (yeah a lot of scenes almost made me cry, both in a bad way ans good way lol) 10/10 (bisexual, transgender and asexual characters)

Upside Down by N. R. Walker

Jordan might be asexual but he isn't sure, so Merry his best friend takes him to an aro/ace meeting to learn and get some answers, and he might just get them and more...

There are no fucking words for this book, but I will say that you will not stop smiling and laughing and crying throughout, all the characters are so genuine and lovable and I want to know them irl, could not recommend enough 10/10 (gay, lesbian, asexual, aromantic, bisexual, poly)

[floydsglasses]

TWISTERS SPOILERS AHEAD (my review)

So from the get-go I already knew that Kate and her friends were more than likely going to get stuck up into a tornado in the beginning of the film because well I could just tell.

I'm honestly really happy that they were showing her PTSD rather than you know ignoring it because there's a lot of bad things that happen in natural disasters and I don't think people can just move on as quickly as like movies from the 90s made it seem like because I know that in the original they show Jo having her problems of being impulsive and wanting to go into a tornado because of what happened to her dad.

In her case Kate is running away from the tornado because she's terrified. I'm honestly surprised with Tyler cuz I thought that they were just going to make him be like a total douchebag like how Hangman was in TGM. But I'm happy that they showed that he's actually just a really good guy who had a heart of gold.

And I also knew that white cars were probably not good people because you can't trust corporations. I'm glad that they didn't keep Javi as a pseudo-type villain because I hate when movies do that.

The Wrangler crew has my entire heart and I'm really glad that the other storm people didn't end up getting killed like how Jonas got killed in 1996.

I'm happy that they put more focus on Daisy's character than Glen which love him don't get me wrong but I love having the female character be the lead in this case because most advertisements were showing Glen and not Daisy but I think that was actually a good marketing tactic.

Glad they're showing the darker side of these disasters rather than romanticizing it I know that the original tapped into that but not in the way that this one did. I was on the edge of my seat every time those tornadoes were on the screen.

Which I hate to say this but I think the drive-in scene from the original maybe beaten by the rodeo one but don't tell anybody I said that.

Some people were saying like there was a love triangle that was supposed to be going on between Javi Kate and Tyler but I honestly didn't see it I'm glad that they kept hobby and her as friends and I love the hinting that her and Tyler were more than likely getting together at the end a little pissed that they cut the airport kiss though.

This movie kind of gave me a new appreciation for my state because every shot I saw was like oh you know I've probably seen that before and it made me really happy seeing you know the prettier side of my state rather than what I've grown up with which is political stuff I'm not going to talk about that here.

Is something else I want to add I know that those New York scenes were more than likely shot in downtown Oklahoma City because come on that looked a little too clean to be New York City. (Not that OKC is clean either)

Oh and Ben I'm happy they didn't make him like a snobby British character and a guy who actually was being really nice I thought he was going to be a snob.

Anywho I give this a 9.7 out of 10. I loved it it was really fun if I could see it again I would now I'm going to have to trust in my head that I can remember this movie while it's still fresh for my story that I'm writing.

[fizzyxcustard]

Just My Imagination.

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x Original Female Character (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Undercover agents, angst, insecurity, anxiety.

Word count: 5725

Summary: From the imagine: "Imagine that you are on an operation with Lucas North, where you have to use a cover story that you’re in a relationship. Only Lucas plays the part a little too well."

Comments/Notes: Requested by anon. Requested as Lucas x Amy. THANK YOU. You know how much I love writing about Lucas and Amy. This piece was requested to be a romantic comedy, but I’m so sorry to say that it wound up just being angsty again. 

I hope you like the fic. As always, like, reblog and comment if you enjoy. If you wish to be added to any of my tag lists, let me know.

Operation Greenacre. 

Amy looked back over the folder in front of her, memorising all the information inside. Her name while on this operation was Amanda Reynolds, an office assistant in central London at a family law firm. Recently engaged to boyfriend of two years, Ben Waverley, aka Lucas North, her current operation partner. 

Amy and Lucas had been given keys to a one-bedroom flat where they would act out their pretend lives, hoping to gather more inside information from their next door neighbours, a couple who were potentially funding terrorists through their charity. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” Lucas asked, hovering at her desk. “If you don’t feel comfortable then tell Harry and we can stand you down.”  

“I don’t want to let anyone down,” Amy sighed, giving him an anxious and embarrassed smile. Next to Jo Portman, Amy was the closest in age to Lucas, so could easily pass off as his fiancée. However, Jo was on another operation. 

Lucas pulled a chair across from the desk opposite and sat down next to Amy. “Look, you’ve never done this before, and it’s kind of going against procedure here and taking a risk. You don’t have to say yes just to please Harry or to impress anyone. Your safety and wellbeing comes first.” 

“But the only other person is Ros.” 

“So?” Lucas asked, raising his eyebrows. “Ros and I have had cover stories before where we’ve been in a relationship. We can easily make it work.” 

Amy looked at Lucas and felt the butterflies flap more viciously in her stomach. The man was gorgeous, and in Amy’s mind her being seen as his fiancée was even more inconceivable than Ros taking the place. Ros Myers had the confidence and grace that Amy didn’t. Amy was of short stature, more curvaceous, with short dark hair and what she considered more ‘plain’ features. While Amy had proven herself as a damn good analyst and office based intel officer, her confidence waned when venturing into new situations, or when in the company of Lucas. 

*

Near the end of Lucas’ shift, he tapped on Harry’s door. 

Harry Pearce, government renowned intelligence officer and senior lead of Section D, raised his head. “Yes, Lucas. Come in.” 

Lucas closed the door behind himself and sat down opposite the middle aged man. “I want to talk to you about Operation Greenacre. I don’t think Amy is ready, Harry. I’ve got a feeling that she’s accepted this to try and prove herself to you.” 

“Is this because you’re concerned about having to watch out for her, or a genuine interest in her safety?” 

“I can’t believe you’d ask me that question,” Lucas scoffed. “I’m worried for her, not me. She’s not ready for field work. Can we just ask Ros to do it?” 

“Lucas, Amy has already agreed to this and your documentation is being processed. I can’t stop this from going ahead, and Ros has, as of this afternoon, been put onto Op Hickory. I trust that you’ll be able to help her; the two of you seem to work well together and there’s something about the way she interacts with you. There’s an ease and a trust I sense.”

“I’m not questioning how we work together. I’ve always got on very well with her.” 

Harry saw a very faint blush hit Lucas’ cheeks, which was quite rare for him. Not much seemed to faze him, but this conversation appeared to be bringing out the very first signs that Lucas may have been holding a secret close to his heart. 

**

Amy woke early the next morning and rolled over to see that it was quarter to five. She had only gotten a couple of hours sleep, sporadic through the night. Her mind was ablaze with all the details of her new life she was about to live. 

Amanda Reynolds. Thirty one years of age. Born in Manchester. Older brother named Thomas. Fiancee of Ben Waverley. A gorgeous man like him wouldn’t ever be interested in someone like me….

The thoughts had trailed off many times, departing from the facts she had to memorise. All she could think about was how appearing engaged to Lucas would seem so far-fetched. She had even looked upon the engagement ring many times, wishing that it was all for real. What an absolutely stupid dream. This woman that she was pretending to be, Amanda Reynolds, had a better life than she had ever had. 

**

At around half seven, after showering, pacing her flat with podcasts playing in her ears, Amy heard her front door buzzer sound. It couldn’t have been the postman, as he normally left all mail in the boxes in the lobby. Deliveries weren’t usually this early. 

Amy clicked the intercom. “Hello?” 

“It’s Lucas.” 

Just his voice was like a wave of pleasurable electricity. It ran down her spine and made her smile. “I’ll let you in.” 

As Amy opened her door, she saw Lucas walking up the hallway. He was dressed in blue jeans and a black shirt, with the top two buttons opened. He held something in his hands. 

“I hope you haven’t had breakfast yet, Aim,” he said softly. 

“I thought we were meeting at nine, at the flat,” Amy said stupidly. 

“I just thought you might like to have a bit of food first and relax a bit.” 

Amy let Lucas into her flat, feeling the familiar flutter of nerves begin to descend. 

“Malcolm has organised the moving van this morning, so a lot of the stuff should be there when we arrive later,” Amy told Lucas, stepping into the kitchen, with him just behind. 

“Come and sit down for a bit and don’t think about the op. Relax and take your mind off it.”

Amy looked down at the brown paper bag on the counter and then back up at Lucas, feeling something in her chest, an ache that she had never quite felt before. Not only was he gorgeous, but kind. He actually saw her, and made her feel like she mattered. Or was this purely to try and help her feel more confident to better the outcome of the op? A method of getting the best out of her. 

“Did you manage to get that sketch completed?” Lucas asked, taking a large bite out of a croissant. 

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d remember that,” Amy said. Only a few days earlier and Amy had been sketching a photo of her nephew at her desk in work. It was a gift that she wanted to give to her sister for her birthday. 

**

By the time that Amy and Lucas had made it to the flat where they would be spending at least the next couple of weeks, Amy felt a little more at ease. The two of them greeted the moving men. 

Every now and again, Amy would catch a glimpse of a shimmer of rainbow colours from the corner of her eye, as the sun caught the diamond on her left hand. 

It all felt natural as Amy and Lucas began putting items away after unpacking boxes. However, it all changed, when a tall red-headed woman came to their open door. She tapped on it and stepped over the threshold and into the living room. “Hello?” 

“It’s okay,” Lucas whispered to Amy as they remained together in the bedroom, still opening boxes. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you in a minute.” Then he winked at her, watching as her startled face disappeared out of view. 

“Morning,” Amy said, her face beaming at the sight of the redhead. “I’m guessing you’re a neighbour?” 

“I am. I’m Pamela from next door, at number five. I heard we were getting new neighbours. It’s been so long since anyone has lived here, and I was starting to wonder if they’d ever find tenants.” 

Amy chuckled nervously. “I’m Amanda. My fiancée Ben is still in the bedroom trying to put the bed back together, so he should be out in a bit.”

On cue, just as Amy spoke those last words, Lucas appeared and approached. He curled his arm around Amy’s waist and drew her in against him. “Hi, I’m Ben. I hate moving. It makes me do some DIY which is one of my pet hates.” 

As Lucas spoke, Amy was sure that she could feel Lucas’ fingers moving in an almost circular motion against her waist. She could feel heat rising up her body at the sensation of being in such close proximity of him. 

“Is that a diamond I see?” Pamela asked, her dark eyes growing bright. 

Amy raised her hand to show her new neighbour. “We’ve been engaged about two months now.” 

Lucas pulled Amy that tad closer as she spoke, feeling a deep warmth rise upward and fill him. Without even thinking, he placed a kiss on her temple. Her skin was so soft under his lips and he could smell strawberries, no doubt from her shampoo. 

“You’ll have to come over for dinner tomorrow,” Pamela offered. “We always enjoy hosting dinners for our neighbours. Ted is ever the showman.” 

“That sounds lovely,” Amy said, her voice ever so slightly teetering on the edge of nervousness. She could feel the change in her voice now that Lucas was touching her. 

“I’ll let you both get back to it. I’ll see you around no doubt.” 

As Pamela disappeared into her front door, Amy immediately pulled from Lucas. She turned away from him and dashed away into the kitchen, where she flicked on the kettle for a drink. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel her legs shaking. For a few seconds, she watched out of the window, focusing on the clouds and took a deep breath. 

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked. “You did well, Aim.” 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little flustered, that’s all.” 

**

The rest of the day was fairly lowkey, with Amy and Lucas putting the belongings away, which hopefully wouldn’t be needed for too long. At the briefing, Harry and Lucas had explained that they hoped that the undercover part of the op wouldn’t be any more than two or three weeks. Most of it hinged on Lucas being able to wind his way into Ted Delaney’s trust and gain any hints as to his reasoning and motives for working alongside terrorists. 

At around six there was a sharp knock at the door. 

Lucas opened the door, only to see Ted Delaney in front of him. Positive ID made from all the documentation that had been gathered prior to the undercover portion of the op going live. 

“I’m Ted from next door. Pam told me you’d moved in and that she’d invited you to dinner tomorrow. Thought I’d come over and extend my welcomes to you both.” 

Ted Delany was a man who was easily in his mid-fifties. His greying hair was swept back and oiled, and his grey eyes were piercing. His clothing showed that he had money and position: a well-tailored navy suit and shined shoes. 

“Would you like a drink with us?” Lucas asked. 

“Sure,” Ted said, flashing a broad smile. 

Lucas immediately approached the whiskey and vodka bottles that were neatly placed out on a small table next to a large bookcase. 

Amy could hear faint chatter as she remained in the bedroom. For a second, she stood with her back to the wall, took a deep breath and then exited. 

“Hey, babe,” Lucas said, seeing Amy. ‘Babe’ somehow felt wrong in his mouth, and he hoped that to Delaney the word didn’t come across too alien. “This is Ted from next door.” 

“Ted, this is Amanda. The love of my life and wife-to-be.” 

I think that may be a bit too much, Lucas. Amy mused. 

Amy sat down on the black leather sofa which was opposite a matching armchair, where Ted had perched himself. 

Lucas handed the glass of whiskey to Ted and then placed himself down next to Amy. His hand rested on her thigh, again doing that circular motion with his fingers. He looked at Amy, passing her a glance. “Do you want me to get you anything from the kitchen?” 

“You’re missing out on the good stuff, love,” Ted said with a hearty chuckle and raised his glass in the air. 

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” Amy replied. “I’ve never been able to hand alcohol particularly well. It just doesn’t sit well with me.” 

“I remember when we first met, and she tried to impress me by drinking a couple of pints,” Lucas said. “She’s always tried to impress me when there’s no need to. She’s perfect the way she is.” Lucas, on instinct, squeezed her leg. 

Amy felt a rod of red hot head swarm in her head, as if angry wasps were buzzing there. “I always felt I was out of your league, Ben, you know that.” 

“Pam was always like that with me, too. Some women might seem like they have confidence, but deep down they don’t, and feel they need to be something they’re not. In fact, they’ve always been the apple of your eye from the very beginning.” 

Lucas chuckled. “That’s definitely always been the way with her. She doesn’t see how amazing she is.” 

**

Ted only stayed for approximately twenty minutes, before leaving Amy and Lucas for the night. There was a silence that had grown between them both now, and as Lucas remained in the living room, Amy sat in the kitchen with a mug of tea between her arms, which were resting on the table. 

“Aim, what’s wrong?” Lucas asked, finally following her into the kitchen. “You’ve been quiet since Delaney left. Is it making you uncomfortable?” 

Lucas looked down at the table to see the engagement ring. It was in the centre of the table, not on Amy’s hand where it should have been for the op. 

“I can’t wear it, Lucas,” Amy said softly. “Not when it’s not real. I can’t close the door and still have it on my hand. It’s bad enough having to have you touch me.” 

“Amy…” 

“It doesn’t matter what I think. We see this op through and then go back to the grid and get on with things.” 

**

Lucas lay on the sofa, while Amy had the bed, and thought on her words. It’s bad enough having you touch me. Was she disgusted by him? That very thought made his jaw clench and an ache rise in his chest. That was why she had dashed from him when Pamela had been at their door; Amy found him disgusting and couldn’t stand him touching her. And that touch had been real, so real in Lucas’ mind. To hold Amy next to him had felt like everything was perfect, and nothing was an act. The kiss on her temple...that was all from Lucas’ heart. 

Amy tossed in bed, replaying the events. The way Lucas had touched her, and those words. They seemed to be somehow as though he was telling her, behind a mask of someone else, that…. Of course he wasn’t! 

Lucas is good at his job. He’s done this so many times before and played the part well to get what’s needed for the case and then move on. Nothing is different about this operation whatsoever. It’s just my imagination. 

Being in a different bed meant that Amy couldn’t quite get comfortable in the bed, and would keep peering out of one eye at the clock on the bedside table. The bed was big, enough space for her to roll around, but it reminded her of how isolated she felt. Cut off. Unwanted. 

It was just after four ‘o’ clock and Amy knew she wouldn’t sleep any more that night. It was like the night before, just a couple of hours made up of half hour dozing phases. A dull thump was already starting up behind her eyes. As Amy pulled herself out of bed, she heard the whishing of blood in her ears. 

She staggered out of the room and across the living room, heading for the kitchen. There, on the sofa, sprawled out was Lucas. He was on his back, mouth wide open. The patchwork quilt had fallen off him, so Amy tottered over to him, and placed the quilt back over his sleeping form. He twitched as the quilt touched him, let out a loud snore, and then rolled over. 

Amy made a cup of herbal tea and sat in the kitchen, her eyes stinging and head thumping. It seemed as if Lucas slept easily, not worrying about the operation and certainly not about the tension that had risen between them. Was it only Amy that sensed any kind of tension? She was starting to assume it was. 

By the time it had turned half six, Amy got dressed into a fresh strip of clothing, choosing jeans and a frilled white blouse: the attire of Amanda Reynolds. Amy Holland, MI5 analyst, would have opted for jeans and a rock band T-shirt with a waistcoat, or a bright coloured hoodie. Sophistication wasn’t something that Amy felt she had. 

The streets were fairly quiet and Amy slipped into a caf��, ordering two bagels and two Americano coffees. Then she walked back to the flat, feeling that she could finally find a sense of peace out in the chilled mid-March air. 

By the time Amy got back to the flat, she walked in to find that Lucas had vacated the sofa. She could hear the splashing of bathwater and an offkey singing voice coming from the bathroom. 

Amy giggled and placed the breakfasts down on the coffee table in the living room, waiting for Lucas to re-appear. 

When he finally made an appearance, Lucas sauntered over to the sofa and sat down, leaving a gap between Amy and himself. 

“I hope you like bagels,” Amy said, giving a smile. “You brought breakfast yesterday so it’s only fair I do so today.” 

***

Amy ventured out the flat after breakfast, deciding to get out of Lucas’ way for a few hours. The cover story was that Amanda and Ben were on annual leave for a week while they moved into their new property. Ben, being the owner of his own accountancy firm, had left the company in the capable hands of his best friend, and co-director, Patrick Lange. If any kind of phone call was needed to or from Patrick, Tariq had been asked to step in and lend his vocal skills. 

First off, Amy sat down in a coffee shop and watched people wander past the window; tourists, residents. Some of them she could tell immediately as residents of London, carrying briefcases or dressed sharp for an upcoming meetings. Tourists tended to walk slower, some with cameras around their necks, and gazed around in excitement and wonder. 

Her phone chimed. Well, Amanda’s phone. It was one of the many iPhones that were kept on the Grid specifically for operations, with disposable SIM cards. 

Ben: Are you sure you’re okay? You didn’t seem yourself this morning. Love you. Xxx

Of course all text messages had be sent in character, in case the devices were ever compromised. No personal devices were allowed. One very basic Nokia 3310 model was kept in order to report back to Harry in case any challenges occurred, and that was in Lucas’ possession. 

Amanda: Yes, I’m fine, sweetie. I’ll be back later.  xx

Sweetie. Acting out this whole made-up scenario was angering Amy. 

Amy continued on walking, disappearing in and out of shops. All of the money she had was in physical cash. No personal credit and debit cards were to be used while on operation. Every aspect of who she really was had been erased. For the next two or three weeks, Amy Holland didn’t exist. When she looked into a mirror, Amanda Reynolds looked back. Amy could imagine the reflection smirking at her, the diamond sparkling so brightly on her left hand, with Ben’s arm wrapped around her. Ben’s steel blue eyes looking back, his nose wrinkled in disgust at the mere sight of Amy. 

Like I’d ever look at you twice.

Back at the flat, Lucas put more items away, concentrating on the kitchenware. However, his mind couldn’t stop spiralling into thoughts of Amy. She was confusing him and it was twisting his gut so tight. Suddenly he got up from the tiled floor, where he had been putting pots and pans into the cupboards, and called her. 

“Amanda?” he asked. 

“Ben,” she replied matter-of-factly. 

“Are you alone?” he asked. 

“No one is directly around me.”

“We need to talk on neutral ground.” 

“Please, no. We can talk when I get back.”

“We have to be careful as we can be compromised, you know that.” 

“I’m on my way back now. We’ll talk more after the dinner. I’ll be back in about half hour.” 

The line then went quiet as Amy terminated the call. 

Lucas sighed in frustration. In all the months that he had known Amy, which was almost a year, he had never known her be so aloof. She was naturally a shier person, but he had never known her react like this. 

Amy got back to the flat within the half hour that she had promised. She stepped into the living room to see Lucas sat on the sofa. The gorgeous bastard looked up at her and smiled sadly. 

“After the dinner, we’ll go for a walk,” she proposed. 

***

Amy and Lucas prepared themselves for the dinner with their new neighbours at around six. 

Lucas was dressed in a black suit jacket and white shirt, with the top two buttons popped open. It was complimented nicely with a pair of dark jeans, giving a casual edge. 

Amy stepped out of the bedroom, her short pixie cut freshly washed and neatly brushed. She wore a black dress with frills on the wrist, and paired with black dolly shoes. Her whole look was sophistication mixed with a sense of comfort. 

As Lucas looked at her, he swallowed hard. She was wearing a dark eyeshadow and mascara which accented her deep green eyes perfectly. He could sense her discomfort at the get-up, knowing that this wasn’t her usual style, but he couldn’t help feel it suited her so well. 

Amy tried to avoid eye contact and made her way to the door in silence. 

Lucas followed on behind, feeling his stomach twist yet again at her distance from him. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the table by the door, and then closed it behind them. 

Pam was the one to answer the door. She grinned at her new neighbours and let them in. “Take a seat. Dinner won’t be too long now. I’m preparing smoked salmon, topped in my special sauce. Chef’s secret as to the recipe. Everyone who has ever tried it has raved over it.” 

“Good man!” Ted exclaimed, taking the bottle of red wine from Lucas. “Priorities.” 

Amy glanced around the living room, noticing that there was far less in it than hers and Lucas’ temporary abode. The flooring was wooden, and the lights bright. Everything felt too clean and sterile for Amy’s liking. She sat down on a black leather sofa, and then tensed as Lucas perched beside her. He took her hand and rested it on his knee, then caught her gaze and smiled, giving her a very slight nod. 

“So, how did you two meet?” Pam asked, preparing glasses as Ted popped open the wine bottle. 

“Do you want a coffee? You said last night you don’t drink,” Ted asked Amy, interjecting himself into the conversation before anyone else could speak. 

“Oh, yes, please. That would be perfect,” she replied with a grateful smile. 

Lucas began to talk, still holding Amy’s hand. He rolled out the spiel that he and Amy had been given as part of their briefing pack. Amanda and Ben had met through mutual friends at a Christmas party. 

The words rolled effortlessly off Lucas’ tongue, Amy mused. And how she wished all of it was true. To be loved, wanted, proposed to, lived with. She desperately wanted it all. Life was cruel. Rather than be dealt such a lucky hand, she instead had to act it all out, pretend, and live behind a happy mask, where her heart beneath was breaking. 

“You definitely struck lucky, love,” Pam told Amy with a wink. 

The conversation between Lucas and Ted seemed to flow without much thought. However, Lucas’ hand moving up Amy’s thigh, curling further into the inside of her leg. 

Shivers began to race up Amy’s spine as she felt his fingers caress her skin through her thin tights. 

Most of the conversation seemed to merge into a mindless chatter as Amy concentrated on Lucas’ hand on her leg. She studied the veins in the back of his hand, which then caused images of him touching her in more intimate places to flicker through her mind. 

By the time that dinner was ready and the group had moved into the dining room, which again was a sterile looking room, Lucas had finally got onto the topic of conversation that he needed: Ted’s work. 

The table was only small, considering that the flat was large. It gave way for more kitchen space and cabinets. This meant that Amy was sat directly next to Lucas again, with Pam and Ted opposite them. 

“How long have you owned the charity, Ted?” Lucas asked, slipping into his seat. 

Ted began to answer while Pam laid out all the dishes in the centre of the table, her hands covered in oven gloves. “The charity was actually started by my father, who died five years ago, so it was handed down to me. He always spent his life helping disadvantaged children; it was all he cared about.” Something flickered across Ted’s face. Resentment, anger? Lucas couldn’t quite tell. But maybe that was where he could probe further. 

“Are you alright, love?” Pam asked, sitting down directly opposite Amy. “You look a bit pale.” 

“It’s probably the new foundation I’m using. I decided to try a lighter colour as the one before, by Clinique was too dark.” Where had that response come from? Maybe Amy wasn’t quite as bad at this acting while undercover thing as she had originally thought. Suddenly she felt something on her leg and jumped. Thankfully, Pam had started talking to Lucas and Ted again, so none of them noticed her jump. Why was Lucas touching her leg? Their lower halves were concealed beneath the table, which meant he didn’t have to touch her in order for anyone to believe they were lovers. 

While Amy eat her meal, she couldn’t stop thinking about Lucas’ hand coming back to her leg. 

“So, how did you choose to propose?” Pam asked, grinning. “I always adore love stories.”

Lucas blushed and then looked at Amy, catching her gaze. Then, he touched her leg again. Only this time, Amy didn’t flinch. In fact, upon instinct, she leaned her leg into his touch. “I just knew that I couldn’t live without her in my life. I wanted to wake up next to her, have kids with her. Cliché, I know. So I took her away for Christmas, to New York where she’d always wanted to go, and proposed in front of the Statue of Liberty.” His eyes were still locked on hers as he spoke. 

A sudden wave of nausea hit Amy and she leaned to the side, away from Lucas. 

“Are you okay, babe?” Lucas asked. “She’s been like this on and off the last couple of days.” 

Pam’s bright blue eyes lit up in excitement. “Maybe it’s the pitter patter of tiny feet.” 

“I’m going to have to head back to the flat. I’m so sorry to both of you,” Amy said, bolting up from her seat. 

Lucas got up beside her and wound his arm around her waist. “Sorry to leave so abruptly, but she comes first.” 

“Of course,” Ted chuckled. “We’ll have to re-schedule for a better time.” 

Amy and Lucas bid their farewells to their guests and head back to the flat. Amy dashed inside and raced to the bathroom, slamming the door. Rather than vomiting, she got to her knees on the floor and felt the tears of sadness roll down her cheeks. 

The door opened and Lucas stepped inside. He looked down as she sobbed and fell to his knees beside her. “Aim, what’s wrong?” he whispered. “You’re scaring me.” 

“You don’t have to keep the act going, Lucas,” she snapped, glaring at him. “Pam and Ted aren’t here.” 

“Get dressed into something more comfortable and warmer. We’ll go for a walk,” Lucas said, his voice becoming authoritative. 

“I don’t want…”

“While we’re on this operation, I’m the senior officer. Please get changed and we’ll go for a walk.” Lucas felt a stab of shame as he spoke those words, knowing he was using his own position for gain, but he needed to know what was happening. Her behaviour was becoming more erratic. Not only was she worrying him for her wellbeing, but if she continued to act like this then the op would be compromised. 

Fuck the operation! I care more about her. 

Fifteen minutes later and Amy walked beside Lucas, the darkness and cold evening air wrapping tight around them. Once they were a few streets away from the flat, Amy and Lucas sat down on a bench in a small park. 

“You really are scaring me, Amy. What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “This is me asking because I care for your wellbeing. It’s not an act.” The word ‘act’ dripped with anger. He noticed that, yet again, she’d taken the engagement ring off. 

Amy noticed him look at her hand. “I can’t wear that ring, Lucas. Please don’t make me wear it when I don’t have to.” 

“We’re on surveillance and undercover twenty-four seven with this operation. You shouldn’t take it on and off when you please like this. This goes deeper than that, Aim. I know you hate me touching you, and I’m sorry I have to do it.” 

“I know it’s all an act for the op, Lucas. Don’t apologise.” 

“Is it all an act?” he asked. His gaze locked on Amy’s. “I know I shouldn’t have touched you under the table. There was no need for that. The truth is, none of this has been an act for me.” 

Amy’s eyes were wide in shock and sadness as she stared at him. “It’s not just my imagination?” she whispered. 

“No,” Lucas replied with a smile. “And when you said about not wanting me to touch you…”

“I didn’t mean that I didn’t want you to touch me. It’s I…I’ve liked you for a while Lucas, and it was getting too much. Playing it all like a game when deep down it’s something I want. I’m living another woman’s life that I want.” 

Lucas slipped closer to Amy and cupped her cheek with his hand. “Is it me or Ben Waverley that you want?” 

“Of course it’s you I want.” Amy replied, her face broad with a huge smile. 

Lucas moved even closer to her still, until their lips touched. The kiss started as a simple peck, a moment of uncertainty, but Amy’s hand tugging Lucas’ jacket spurred him on. The kiss grew deeper, their tongues meeting and warmth rising. 

As they both parted, Lucas smiled upon the slight of Amy’s beautiful flushed cheeks. She looked so innocent and angelic in those moments; her eyes sparkling in happiness, her cheeks flushed and her lips plump. 

“Does this mean that if you want Amanda’s life that you’re planning on leaving MI5?” Lucas chuckled. “Pack up and go work as a solicitor’s secretary. We’d miss you.” 

“Maybe I don’t want that part of her life.”  

“If we do this, Aim, and have a relationship, we won’t be put together undercover again, you know that, don’t you?” Lucas asked. “Harry can’t risk any compromise. We’d be a weakness to each other.” 

“Maybe on this op we can draw strength from each other. It’ll definitely make the act easier to keep up.” 

Lucas and Amy walked back to the flat hand in hand. The whole time and Amy was beaming, unable to hide the happiness she was feeling in those moments. Her gaze would drift down to their joined hands every few minutes. 

Back at the flat, Lucas let Amy in ahead of himself, his hand brushing against her lower back. He followed on behind her and closed the door. The way she turned to face him and looked up smiling, her cheeks still flushed, made his heart skip and his stomach flutter. She was so beautiful, with innocence shining brightly in her eyes and love curling her lips upwards. 

Lucas stepped forward and wound his arm around her waist, drawing her in and then leaned down to kiss her again. 

Their kiss grew hot very quickly, with their bodies entwining. 

Amy opened her eyes slowly, looking up into the silver blue depths of Lucas’ gaze. That all too familiar smirk began to form in the corner of his mouth. 

Amy slipped out of his hold and walked slowly into the kitchen, looking down at the table. The engagement ring was still in the centre where she had left it. 

Lucas moved around her and picked up the ring. Then he gently lifted her left hand. “I know you don’t want to wear it, Aim, but please do this for me.” 

With a sigh, Amy watched as Lucas slid the diamond solitaire ring onto her hand. It felt as though the ring had been sized perfectly and belonged there. “Maybe one day I’ll have someone doing it for real.” 

Lucas smiled sadly, feeling a lump form in his throat. Words swarmed in Lucas’ mind. Just one sentence to respond to Amy’s sad comment. But the right one would not come. Instead, he remained quiet. Perhaps one day it might have been him putting a ring on her hand, and meaning it. However, for now, he would have to wait and see, and hope for that future to come. 

***

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[jackiequick]

ABC Family ~ Baby Daddy OC 🍼

—> Expanding on a OC from this playlist

Skylar Chez

Full name: Skylar Chez Gonzalez

Nickname: Sky, Mama, Chez, Wonder Twins, Picasso, Ms. Wheeler

Age: 25

Height: 5’2

Place Of Origin: New York

Nationally: American

Ethnic Background: Colombian and Mexican descent

Relationship status: Single on and off again, until she realizes her feelings for Ben.

Occupation: Artist

Season: 1-6

Relationship to family: BFF to Ben, Danny and Riley since they were kids. Bonnie babysat Sky since she was 2 because her mom is friends with her. So in result she grew up closely to them. Later on, she met Tucker during early college years.

Personality: Sweet, artistic, nerdy, good with the flow and very open. However she can be strong and stubborn, as well as a little crazy. Overall usually pretty chill. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, she’s a huge foodie!!

————-

Skyler was brought into the group from day one once again when she moved to New York for her career, little did she know that she would be living together alongside her best friends. In the same apartment. Working at the bar and studying art as well. It was good until everything changed the day Danny moved into the apartment since baby Emma came too!

—> The boys were freaking out and confused calling for Riley’s while Skylar was cooing at Emma. She was so cute.

The guys looked at her waiting for her to pick Emma up. Sky just joked, "What? You guys see boobs and automatically think mommy?"

Riley snorted at her joke.

Everyone, especially Bonnie believed Ben couldn’t make it a few hours with Emma but the girls disagreed, and thankfully they were proved right. Since then, Emma stayed with the 6 of them after 48 hours. They were happier than ever!

Her and Danny are like siblings! The two are them are sometimes attached to the hip, always helping each other and supportive. Tall and short besties for sure! They are such nerds, always going to the movies, sports game and concerts. Skylar even sometimes steals Danny’s graphics t-shirts when hers are dirty, styling them to fit her outfits.

With Bonnie, it’s like they are aunt and niece! Bonnie says that Skylar is like the daughter she never had while she glares at her sons in annoyance. Just as insane and sweet as her mother, I guess that’s why Bonnie loves her.

Tucker! Let’s just say those two are sassier than ever before when they’re together in one room. Tucker and Skylar are each other’s back up no matter what. Finishing each other lines and chasing each other around. Skylar can say, “Hold my earrings!” And Tucker would smirk like, “I got you girl!” But those two fight like crazy if allowed!

Riley! As much as she jokes and teases Riley, she’s her girl. Besides she does the same thing to her, dragging Riley into doing crazy stuff. Always by her side to snap her out of it and tell her the truth, when needed.

—> When it came to Emma, Ben and Skylar practically shared the same brain cell! As much as Ben and Sky were complete opposite for certain things, the two of them shared the same ideas for plenty of things. Ideas for plans, work, ways of dating, strong attitudes, the way they acted and especially their parenting style. You name it, they have probably have or heard it.

-> They’re great friends! Always by each other’s side. Very supportive about their plans and smacking some scene into each other.

Speaking of Emma, during late season one and early season two of the series. 2012. The duo made a decision that changed their lives. Mama and Daddy.

It all started when Ben was looking for a future wife for himself but mainly a mom for his daughter, he figured his daughter deserves a mother figure or two in her life. He dated looking up and down, tired of scanning waiting for the girl to see Emma the way he sees her. Until Bonnie made him realize that girl was standing right in front of them.

Ben found her sitting alone that late afternoon on the fire escape sipping a beer and softly smile, asking if he can join. She nodded handing him one, Skylar was tired and annoyed with her love life after dumping her boyfriend, Johnthan, two days ago. Ben decided to comfort her and show her in care rather seeing his best friends smile than upset. After a while they talked…

“So how’s the mom search going?” She asked reopening another beer smiling, handing him one.

He opened him beer and replied, “Not the greatest. Due to, Emma already having a mom.”

“Yeah Angela! I told you it wasn’t the best idea..”

“No, not her. You.”

“What? Uh Ben I wasn’t the one who pushed her out and put that cutie on your doorstep. She did.”

He laughed and nods, “I know that! But since Emma been here you’ve been nothing but wonderful and I love you for that. And I believe Emma deserves someone like you in her life.”

She smiled sweetly, “She already does…wait Ben, do you want me to be like her Mama?”

“If you want. You don’t have to play house or anything, unless you want too of course..”

“Yes.”

“R-really?! Cause I know it’s a big deal and our careers are friendship will be on the line.”

“Nothing will change.”

“Nothing will change?”

Skylar took his hand, “Yeah it won’t.”

“And what if it does?” Ben replied squeezing her hand gently.

“Then I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

It was steady and still, the two friends started to become parents overnight. Closer than ever. They drank and talked smiling the whole way through the whole night.

————

It was a darling, sweet and absolutely comfortable transition. It felt natural, nothing truly changed. They were supportive parents like always, playing house sometimes and teasing each other. Sometimes they would get carried away and start calling each other “Mama” and “Dada”, especially in hopes Emma would say one of the two first sooner or later.

-> Ben walked into the kitchen with Emma and smiled softly, “Hey mama.”

“Hi.” She replies handing him a slice of toast as she chuckled, “Hi Emma.”

The baby girl giggled at the kisses being peaked on her face. Ben put his daughter in her high chair along with a bowl of cereal, then walked over to Skylar wrapping his arms around her to steal a bite of toast.

“Hey!” She yelled laughing, “Get your own.”

“What? Danny does it.” He joked laughing and poured himself coffee, “Uh where is Danny exactly?”

“Slept over at a girls place. And Tucker is still asleep, hangover times ten.”

“Oof been there, done that! Mom is coming over to pick up Emma so that means I get extra time before work and you can take your classes.”

“Yes! You know how hard it is to paint a castle in the forest with a baby and two idiots running around?”

“Hahahahaha! I bet, hey—! I’m not a idiot.”

———

-> When it came to dating life, Ben went on his dates such as Riley or Veronica for insist meanwhile Skylar went on her dates such as Kyle or Jordan. Nonetheless it was fun and extra supportive about it. Even comforting each other as well when Danny wasn’t there to do.

Believe me, if someone breaks Skylar’s heart or hurt her feelings, best believe you will have a Danny Wheeler after your ass like a pissed off Superman.

Especially if Tucker heard about Skylar being hurt.

A) He’s gonna fight him or trick them into being screwed.

B) Encourage her to fight back and ignore the dumbass.

C) Drag Bonnie into a plan for revenge.

Note: Bonnie, Tucker and Skylar are a little bit of a trio. They get into the craziest stuff 😼 haha. Bonnie and Tucker even tracked down Angela after Skylar stupidity suggested something but they took that literally! During that time Ben was trying to date Riley so that caused a small rift between them with Emma’s biological mom being there.

—> Even Skylar got pissed off! Angela was trying to play house, Bonnie wasn’t too happy that insulting the women.

It got to a point where Skylar dragged her into the apartment and told Angela, to her face that, “You may have carried and birthed Emma, been her mother for 6 months. But afterwards you were gone! Biologically you may be her parent but I’m the one who helps put her to sleep, change her diapers, feeds her, brings her play dates when her daddy, grandma or uncles can’t. And I make sure that girl is happy! All you’ve done while being here is try to win Ben back and play house.”

Angela scoffed with a slight laugh, “And what are you? His best friend? His side piece when Riley isn’t around? If I’m correct Sky, we used to be friends. What happened?”

“I still am a friend to you, Ang. But I’m also Ben and Riley’s. And I’m more of a mother to Emma over the last year or two than you ever were.”

“Sounds like Ben has a lot of women in his life. Especially Bonnie! I’m just trying to figure out how to make a plan here, okay? I’m sorry, and your right, it’s clear that you all Emma’s family here. Especially you.”

“Good. Ang, your my friend and want you to figure out that plan. Tucker and Ben said you’re trying to find a place to stay that isn’t our apartment.”

The girls smiled and hugged it out, still bitter about the situation but didn’t show it. However Bonnie and Tucker were in the corner listening into the conversation silently cheering hoping that Angela leaves soon. Also very proud of Sky having the strength to call her out on her bullshit. A few days later Angela left, not without leaving her mark within Ben and Riley’s relationship, they broke up. Going as far to jokingly tease Sky that she should make that ‘mom thing’ official and go on a date with Ben.

Things went back their chaotically sweet and glorious ways after that. But that romantic debate still hung over their heads. Riley went on dates finding a boyfriend name Philip, Danny slept with a couple of girls but his heart belonged to Miss Riley Parton. Ben stayed within the dating scene teased how Riley still liked him until life took a turn in his direction. And that direction was Skylar Chez.

—————-

Ben Wheeler was thrown into a loop and knocked off course. Yeah sure he will always love Sky but those feelings started to shift into something stronger perhaps. It started during Emma’s first birthday seeing her dresses in a viking inspired outfit and carrying his almost one year old daughter in matching clothes, made his heart flutter. He smiled, leaning forward to kiss Emma’s cheek and grin at Sky giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“What was that for?” She asked with a darling smile, bouncing the almost one year old on her hip.

Ben shrugged with a smile, not knowing that came over him and replied, “You both look really pretty. You know i love you right?”

“Always. And we do look pretty.”

“I have to head out with mom, to figure out the whole thing with Deluca’s ice cream parlor.”

“Oh right Bon Bon mentioned something about it, what happened?”

“I might have another kid, with Jenny Deluca this time.”

“Ben!”

“I didn’t know, okay? I swear women keep have babies and won’t tell me about it.” He added with his hands in the air and shake his head, “It’s starting to hurt my feelings.”

Sky tried not laugh and sigh, “Aww poor baby. Focus! We have probably another kid on our hands here.”

“Don’t worry, i tried talking to Jenny beforehand but she busy. So we’re gonna try again today.”

“Alright, meet you at the parlor in an hour. No funny business!”

Both of them tried talking with Jenny Deluca about the situation but she just shrugged pretending to ignore it, telling them to have their kids party and leave. Her father showed shouting and claiming for them to get out, especially not wanting to see Ben again.

Bonnie shouted over him and pointed out confidently, “Frankie Deluca, you would lucky if my son ever impregnated your daughter!” Tucker nodded in agreement saying ‘Hell yeah!’. The man ignored them upset as ever until Jenny revealed Ben wasn’t the father it was somebody’s else kid, she just blamed Ben cause it would leave less questions from her father.

It was sorta fair, still they would’ve welcomed the kid regardless. Afterwards Emma fell asleep and they had to celebrate her 1st birthday at home instead, none of them minded the change. But that whole time Ben saw how loving and supportive Skylar was the entire day with the chaos of the news, he truly loved her for it.

~~~~

The next time was when Skylar eventually started getting jealous of his dates, snapping him out of it and then fixing the problem by the end of the day. But Ben wasn’t far behind since he started to question her dates more often and had to end up saving her by the end of night, coming up with a lame excuse that somehow worked.

Catching each other’s falls at work, sharing food together, leaving random kisses on their cheeks, adding text messages for one another, teasing the other person and bickering over the smallest thing.

Tucker even joked, “Damn. You two sound like your dating..”

Skylar and Ben turned to him yelling, “Stay out of this, Tucker!”

He laughed, “You sure?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Ben replied with a scoff pointing at her.

“He’s not my boyfriend. You don’t get it, Tucker.” Skylar added.

“Why would he? Us together wouldn’t make any sense.”

“Yeah, if I were to date him I must be insane.”

“Exactly!”

“Let’s go, baby.”

“Right behind you!”

The two walked out together heading to the park to meet up with Danny. But truth was Tucker was right, the two were practically dating each other from day one without actually doing that dating part. They just didn’t know it yet. Skylar’s smile always grew around him, loving how supportive he is, adore the patients he has at times and dragging Ben Wheeler into doing the most silliness things. He was her world, she was dating the man without even noticing it herself. To Ben, he always grinned widely around her, she was one of the reasons he’s where’s he is today, adoring how gentle she can be to how crazy she may act, and he was proud to have her in his life.

——— ~~~

— They’ve seen each other fall and rise, Ben held her when she may cry til midnight and Skylar hugs him when he feels like died a little inside. They didn’t notice how much love and opportunity there was for them until Danny and Tucker pointed it out. So in result that same week during 4th Of July, everyone was on the rooftop celebrating the fireworks while eating outdoors, when they realized that needed more ice, water and beers. Skylar offered to bring it upstairs and Ben followed behind, knowing she was need help carrying that upstairs.

The two were chatting as they entered the apartment and collecting items that they believed could also be needed. Ben saw more fireworks from the window, taking Skylar’s hand climbing onto the balcony taking a seat next to each other. The fireworks stopped for a moment, or at least the ones that could be seen for them since you see hear the booming noise from the streets afar from the building, they started with smiles. Ben realized they were alone as so did Skylar, as the pair yelled out in unison ‘I have to tell you something’ ‘No you first.’ The two laughed.

Ben chuckled, “ this is ridiculous but Danny said that we’re dating but not dating, I mean we’re dating while not actually dating.”

“Oh my god, Tucker said the same thing! Ay that’s hilarious. He pointed out the stuff we do.” She replies chuckling.

“But we’re not dating right? We haven’t kissed or anything! Unless we were drunk and i don’t remember..and I think I would remember.”

“I mean yeah we do, some things are typically seen a couple. I kinda wanna prove Danny and Tucker that they’re wrong..”

His eyes perked up and leaned against her shoulder with a grin, “Oh really? Oh how so?”

“Like this.” She replied with a matching grin, leaning forward, “Kiss me. Prove that they’re wrong and we’re right.”

“Oh I like the way you think women! 20 bucks this kiss would mean nothing.”

“Ooh a bet? Make that 25.”

“25 it is!”

Ben leaned over taking the back of her neck gentle as his hands gliding around to her cheeks. Skylar rested her face in his hands, her hands sliding down to his cheeks with the cheeky eyes that matched his. They were too excited, finally touching their lips brushing against one around to a simple one time thing. As they did, the fireworks in the sky went off.

The kiss lasted around less than 3 seconds or so, until Ben decided to turn around and make the kiss last less than a minute. Skylar rested her head against his, pulling back for a moment with a smile and said, “So Danny and Tucker were wrong?”

“I think I will need to test out that theory again.” Ben repiled with a shrug, lacing his lips onto her with a laugh, “We’re right, they’re wrong! But they can’t know that.”

“Oh yeah! Hmm, we can still openly date whoever we want to like Riley and Johnthan?”

“Oh yeah! If not, my bedroom is right next door. I mean we’re practically dating without actually dating.”

“I think another kiss might seal the deal, we created.”

Little did they know Bonnie Wheeler was unlocking the door and walking in to grab the beer bottle since they were taking too long. She joked and grumbled, “Damn it Danny! He couldn’t have—” her eyes fell onto the balcony to see her son and practically daughter in law sharing a smooch, “—WHAT THE HELL?!”

The two heard her practically falling onto the floor, gasping and stumbling into the room, yelling out ‘MOM!’ and ‘BONNIE!’.

Busted.

—-

The paired found themselves the next time stealing kisses in secret, sharing winks and preparing the other for a date. They coined it as a open relationship, trying to not let anyone else know about this little affair. Especially Riley, because then she will tell Danny, who will in result tell Tucker.

Ben was bouncing loopy and sleepy Emma as Skyler walked out, fixing her collar for a date. It was her turn for a night out. She played around with her hair with a smile, “How do i look?”

“I would gorgeous but then i would have steal you from your date.” Ben joked, placing their daughter into the playpen before walking over to her zipping the back of the dress.

“You sure you’re okay with me going out? I could just cancel, you know?”

“No go out! I got a boy’s night planned out with Danny and Tucker here in the apartment.”

“No strip poker like last time! Tucker still mad about that.”

“In my defense, we shouldn’t have betted too high. If you need anything call me.”

“Okay.”

She quickly peaked his cheek and walked out, earning a grin and a playful friendly catcall from the boys who walked inside. Skylar laughed twirling as she left, leaving Tucker, Danny and Ben chuckling.

The whole night went all, her date with Tad with nice meanwhile the boys played a simple game of poker. Bonnie saw Tad and Skyler out again, rolling her eyes because she saw her and Ben kissed two weeks ago—but she kept their dirty little secret to herself, knowing the others will find out soon enough.

—> The next time, Danny found out one morning. He was walking into the kitchen, greeting Emma who happily ate her cereal and Ben who sat was eating his bagel with a cup of coffee. Tucker was still snoring. The brothers chatted, joking around and figuring out their schedules for the day.

That was when Skylar walked out of the bathroom, placed a kiss on Ben’s cheeks and stealing fruit off Danny’s plate with a grin, before walking out to the bedrooms. Danny grinned, “Did she just?”

“Yup she did. She got a 100% on her art project, so that’s why she’s happy.” He replies smiling.

“Yeah that’s great, i know that! But she just kissed your cheek!”

“So what? It’s normal, right? She’s happy and so I’m happy.”

“Ohh—Holy crap, you still like Sky!”

“No I don’t!”

“Holy crap, you really do still like Sky!”

“Shut up, I don’t.”

—> Other time was Riley, catching them finding them at work behind one of the walls near the entrance chatting. She walked in ready to unwind and have a drink, stopping short turning to her left to see Ben’s hands on Sky’s shoulders with a smile. They didn’t notice her, since it looked like the pair were speaking onto something rather important.

“I’m telling you, the accident wasn’t your fault, okay?” He replied with a smile.

“It was a mishap i know! But Jonathan looked at me and then Tad saw me.” She said with a sigh.

“Hey you spooked! Same thing, happened with Angela and Riley months. I split for god’s sake.”

“That’s because your clumsy Ben and an idiot.”

“Yeah well, Riley still loved for me it.”

“Haha, you’re right. I’ll got tell them what happened.”

They walked to their separate sides of the bar. Riley was sitting at the couch, walking over to the counter to order a drink waiting, that’s when Sky scurry around the corner.

The girl smirked at her latina friend, “Sooo?”

“So what?” She asked her blonde friend, confused.

“I saw you and Ben talking, then i saw Jonathan and Tad were in the room.”

“We were just talking about me screwing up with both guys.”

“Ohh? And Ben?”

“He was reassuring me that everything is alright and Jonathan will forgive me.”

“I hope so, he’s a catch! You know, you and Ben have been rather close lately.”

Sky chuckled, “Riley, he only got eyes for you!”

“I don’t know, Sky.. what if-?” She replies with a soft chuckle.

“He loves you. I know that for a fact.”

Riley smiled, picturing her relationships with Philip vs hers with Ben. She knew she had plenty of other options and opportunities at her door.

———————

Ben and Skylar little affair didn’t last long, they love each other but felt that they needed to explore their other options first.

Riley and Jonathan to be exact since those feelings were clear as well. So they dated their lovers, Ben and Riley’s relationship was long but felt brief but Skyler and Jonathan relationship lasted longer than expected.

However the pair broke up one night, since Jonathan wanted to see other people, as in someone named Veronica who was in her art class. Hell he was secretly trying to see her already. They may have said it was mutual break up..but it didn’t feel like it…

Skylar returned home that night, finding her daughter on the floor and sat on the couch cuddling Emma who played with her bunny. She tried not to cry but Bonnie, who was babysitting, noticed pulling the girl into a hug telling it that it will be okay.

“It’s not okay Bon-Bon! I wanted more..i thought we had something specific and special but he practically dumped me after dinner..” She explained, with tears in her eyes, “It should be me in his arms, not stupid Veronica!”

Bonnie kept in her arms, kisses her forehead, “I knew sweetie. Just let it out, some things just happen and he’s an idiot for letting you go. But hey, your talented and smart and so sweet! Any guy would love to have you..i know Ben did.”

She scoffed, “It was a fling, a small thing. We both agreed to stop it before anyone got hurt. He loves Riley.”

Bonnie winced, “Yeah he’s not only the one who loves Riley.”

“I know Danny does, i figured it so. But i want revenge on Jona…” Sky stood up from the couch, smirking she stormed into the bedroom area, “TUCKER! I need you!”

-> To say Skylar got her revenge was a understatement. Her and Tucker tricked Jonathan, giving him a temporary job at the Mary Heart Show only for it go crashing down on the man, literally.

A bucket of huge ice cold water with fish fell on him during production while the show was on the air, causing the man to run out screaming like a cartoon character in Looney Tunes.

Mary Heart got a bunch of rating for that episode and new followers for the show meanwhile Jonathan got to smell like fish for a week, and got shown in the embarrassing videos section on YouTube. It took some work but the duo got it done, even involving Danny and Bonnie to set the prank up perfectly.

It was a win win situation for Tucker and Sky. She got her revenge and selling her artwork to Mary, meanwhile he got promoted to production manger, working his way to TV producer soon. The duo high fives at their success!

——

Skylar’s career pretty much took off a lot further from that. She was already studying art, selling it and working at the bar with her co-workers. But since Mary loved her artwork so much and photography skills, Sky was able to get a lot more offers, putting her name out there for people to see.

Designing artwork, stylish decor for people when it came to working with Brad and Bonnie’s realtor jobs. And having her sketches be used for fashionable people in the New York industry.

It felt good, she felt like her job was being seen a lot more. Danny, Tucker and Riley even displayed her art pieces on the walls of offices, hallways, suggesting it to people they meet. Ben already had the artwork display around the bar since day one, since Skylar’s style was shown throughout The Bar when she just starting out working there.

——

But the question some if you may be asking. Did Ben and Sky end up together afterwards? Short answer, yes.

Long answer, it took some time to find themselves stable enough to admit how much they still love each other. But when it did happen, the pair found themselves arguing on a Saturday afternoon getting ready to close up the empty bar…

The two were in the mist of an argument, screaming, shouting to the top of their lungs and going as far to point fingers at each other.

Ben slammed the chair onto the table and had a serious look on his face, “I can’t believe you! God you’re such a liar.”

“Me?! You couldn’t care to listen to everyone, stupid!” Sky shouted, wiping the whiteboard clean and searching for new markers.

“You knew that Riley and I weren’t gonna last! You stood there like an idiot.”

“Um hello?! Danny was always in the damn picture and clearly had the hots for her. You stood there like an idiot.”

“An idiot? Me?”

“Yeah! Too blind to see the signs, Ben. Hell even Riley didn’t notice, cause both of you were on separate planets.”

He walked over waving his hand and scoffed, “Funny. I didn’t know we were playing the blind game here. Who’s next? Oh yeah, you!”

“Me?!” She scoffed this time whipping her head towards the man, “I did nothing wrong here!”

“Oh really? Let me thing, Jonathan and Tad this! Jonathan and Tad that! What about me?”

“What about you?”

“Did you forget our little affair? All the hugs, morning kisses and secret fun! We had something going on!”

“Y-you still think about that? I thought..I thought you forgot about it.”

“No of course not! It was one of the best times of my life and we stopped because we had other people in mind. I love Riley and i fought my own damn brother to have her but then you were..you came along and i messed it up!”

“Well, you were all up in Riley-town, and I was wondering around Jona-city that we didn’t bother to continue it! You wanted her Ben…then you wanted another girl afterwards. You never know what you want!”

“Yeah right, you’re right I’m sorry. I don’t always know what I want, but when I have it..I tend to lose it. A lot! I lost Riley and screwed up. Every girl i mess up relationships with. I had an affair with you and decided to stop us from having fun. But you never know what you want either..”

She sighs, “Cause I um..I can’t choose my own way to which guy I want. I had it good with Jonathan then he dumped me and I screwed it up with Tad cause I kissed his twin brother by accident. I had it and I screwed up everything! I don’t think I can ever find a guy that can keep up with me and make it work with our lives.”

The room was silent for a moment as they looked at one another, not saying a word but their eyes said it all. Every moment shared between the mishaps to the arrangements made that lead them here.

“I guess..the only girl I’m destined to be with aside from Emma, is you.” Ben confessed with a chuckle.

She blushed and smiled, “Yeah? You mean that? Because if you don’t then we will have to start this argument all over again.”

“Yeah I mean it. I’m sorry, I never went with my gut feeling in the first place.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t went straight to you about everything.”

Ben gently walked over to her and a sheepish smile, “How about we start over? Hi, I’m Ben and I think your really cute.”

“Oh my god.” She chuckled shaking her head, feeling silly.

“Come on try it! Go back to the way it was, with me.”

“The way it was. Hi I’m Skylar, do you have any idea if this bar is open?”

“Yeah I do and I know what are the specials this weekend.”

“What are the specials?”

Ben smile grew bigger by the second, leaning his head towards her face and placed a daring kiss on her lips. Skylar chuckles grew, resting her head against his forehead and returned the soft kiss. A hand wrapped around the other, with a gentle touch and whispering mumbling only about god know what.

It felt slow, knowledgeable and gentle. Like a rather passionate peck of sweet idiotic love.

He laughed, pulling her into his arms, stumbling his back against the wall and cupped her cheeks brushed against her lips against his very own. Standing on her tippy toes, she laughed at the ridiculous jokes they made, cupping the back of neck as she placed a few smooches on him.

“Wait-wait are we really doing this? Like full on addressing this?” Sky asked with the biggest goofy grin.

“I think we are. Let’s grab a couple of beers and head over to the apartment.” Ben replies with a even bigger grin.

She grabbed his hand without a second later scurrying out the door as he rushed to grab the beer bottles and keys. The two stumbled upon the streets of New York, coming back to the apartment for quiet quality together with no interruptions, due to Bonnie watching Emma that afternoon. It also helped that Tucker was on a date, meanwhile Riley and Danny were hanging out together.

So in response, they were hushing and giggles along the way.

——

As for marriage and family, they got accidentally hitched in Vegas—I mean what?! No, they didn’t!

Ok byeeee!

Was this an accidental extra HUGE excuse to write for one of my fav extremely underrated sitcoms? Yes, yes it is. Anyways, i hope you like it tell me what you think about in the comments below!

Please like, share and reblog for more. Btw, you can watch ABC Family's Baby Daddy on HULU/Disney Plus! Or on Freeform.com

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @halesfavoriteharlot @rooster-84 @mallowbee4 @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @mandylove1000 @theloveoftoms @thisgirlisonfayeeer @starkleila @hardballoonlove @buckysteveloki-me @sherloquestea @nakiaswg @carellmcu @ximehs and etc

[stokesy55]

Ben backs his man 🥰

[penny-anna]

GOD the classic who ladies poll has got me thinking about the classic who companion age problem. bcos its like u got

Unambiguously an adult:

Ian, Barbara, Steven, Sara, Ben, Polly, Liz, Jo, Sarah Jane, Harry, Tegan, Peri, Mel, Romana

Unambiguously a teenager:

Ace

No age given but universally understood to be a teenager:

Vicki, Adric

Seemingly a teenager but also a Time Lord so age unclear:

Susan

Presumably an adult but actually on putting this list together I realised they don't have an age given and they're a weird enough character that it's not clear:

Leela

Fandom disagrees on whether or not they were intended to be read as a teenager:

Katarina, Jamie, Zoe, Victoria, Nyssa, Turlough

I literally have no clue how old this character is supposed to be:

Dodo.

[latibvles]

12:30am mota frat boys au thoughts because it’s rotted my brain and also harrie’s hoedown throwdown birthday party is a canon event (there’s a list in my docs of things i wanna write for this). Anyways here’s outfit + decoration brainrot

It’s at the Mu-Eta Pi House (girls’ sorority) because duh. Viv and Fern did a lot of the planning. Fern was the one who rented the mechanical bull. They had a strict no boots no hat no entry policy. Backyard full of check print and hay bales etc. String lights, they really went all out okay? Everybody loves Harrie.

Meanwhile around the block…. [several 100th frat boys scrambling for clothes. not Curt though. He’s got it all sorted]

The outfits are cute and very specific in some aspects in my head so indulge me a little here

Viv’s got a sheriff’s badge. Cute little crop jacket with tassles. She’s got a white and gold color scheme going on and it works. Willie has a matching deputy badge and a black hat. Of course they’re a matching set. Black bandana top, black boots.

Fern is peak “Cowgirl Barbie.” Daisy dukes, hot pink bedazzled cowboy hat (*more on that later), auburn hair in two pretty French braids.

June and Lorraine are also a matching set kinda. They go the outlaw route. Black jackets, silver details on the boots. Lorraine wears her bandana over half her face for a lot of the night. June has a lasso. This lasso ends up around Benny at some point and they have pictures of it.

Carrie’s in a cute little very “southern belle”-esque checker patterned dress with a very nice sleeveless leather vest. Lena’s got a double denim thing going on with cowprint patterns on her jeans. Her shirt 100% says “save a horse, ride a cowboy”

Jo’s got the poofy-shirt tucked in to faded cutoffs thing, brown hat and boots and a bright red bandana around her neck.

Inez is also in a dress of sorts, and braids, she’s got shorts on under it though. She’s also got a corset on and the cowboy hat is in fact her own from home.

And Harrie? The birthday girl? Everybody pitched in to help customize her hat so everyone knows it is her birthday. Sparkly jacket with all the tassels. Bandana around her neck, she’s having the time of her life.

Seeing as this entire au was spurred on by Ben Radcliffe looking like a frat boy, everyone please look at the visual reference for Brady’s fit for the function. I do not care if it’s lazy of me to say that, this is what it looks like.

On that note though, Bucky’s got pants that are fully cowprint buttons of his shirt undone bc he’s annoying and a bolo tie he got from their thrift store field trip

Dougie has the cowboy cutout pants (forgive me for the shein link i do not shop there) because “this is why you don’t skip leg day, fellas.” Blakely’s doing the “bandana as a shirt” thing. Did I mention that those two and Fern have a lot of pictures together?

Benny and John are in a similar boat though — lots of brown. His shirt is black and sparkly though. Also they took pictures with Meatball before leaving with Meatball in a very cute horse get-up.

And as aforementioned. He’s got June’s lasso around him at some point. Because of course he does.

Speaking of Fern’s bright pink, bedazzled cowgirl hat: that ends up on Curt’s head at some point. Curt went all out. Curt looks like he just walked off the set of The Good The Bad and The Ugly. Curt also lasts the longest on the mechanical bull.

Marj dressed Buck for the occasion but let it be known that her overalls with patches on them are adorable. Buck’s also got the outlaw thing going on for him— bandana on half his face in several pictures. Black vest. He’s also got a bolo tie (thanks Bucky)

Honest-to-God Croz looks like he just walked off the set of Woody’s Roundup and it’s very funny. He’s got spurs on his boots and by God is he proud of them.

Just boys dressing as cowboys for a birthday party okay? It’s very special to ME!!

Go ahead and ask me about outfits i can do this all day.

[jamiebamberdaily]

The Wives : What We Know So Far (UPDATED - 6th September 2024)

The first casting announcement of 2024 has finally been announced with the news of Channel 5's The Wives.

About

Written and created by Helen Black, The Wives is a domestic thriller that centres on 3 sister-in-laws, Sylvie, Natasha and Beth who, just as they have done for the last 15 years, embark on their usual family holiday to Malta. However, this year is different.

The official synopsis reads:

Last year, four sisters-in-law and their families escaped to their Maltese holiday apartments, as they’ve done every summer for fifteen years. Sylvie Morgan, was happily married, Natasha, was swimming in wealth, and Beth and Annabelle Morgan, were thick as thieves. But this year, as they come together again, everything is different. Sylvie’s now single and loving life, Natasha’s hiding a desperate financial situation, Beth is barely keeping her life together and Annabelle is, well… dead. When Annabelle’s widower Charlie, arrives with a new woman in tow, Beth tries to be happy for them, but something doesn’t sit right. Charlie’s new girlfriend Jade, looks exactly like Annabelle. Beth’s plans to have a great summer are quickly scuppered by Charlie’s odd behaviour, and her suspicion that there is more to Annabelle’s death is heightened. With lies coming to light and evidence building, the women work together and against each other to unravel the mystery and bring the culprit to justice. But with corrupt officials, drug cartels and career criminals closer to home than ever expected, have they bitten off more than they can chew?

The Wives has been ordered for Channel 5 by Sebastian Cardwell, Deputy Chief Content Officer, Paramount UK and Paul Testar, Commissioning Editor, Drama, Channel 5 and Paramount+. Executive producers for Gaumont are Jess Connell and Alison Jackson. Produced by Margot Gavan Duffy, The Wives was written and created by Helen Black (Time S2, Life and Death in the Warehouse), with episodes by Ciara Conway (Screw, Holby City) and Jamie Jackson. The series will be directed by Claire Tailyour (Phoenix Rise, Deceit) and Paulette Randall (Waterloo Road, Tin Star).

The Cast

Jamie will star as Annabelle's widower, Charlie Morgan.

Also starring will be:

Angela Griffin as Natasha Morgan

Tamzin Outhwaite as Sylvie Morgan

Jo Joyner is Beth Morgan

Katie Clarkson-Hill is Charlie's new girlfriend, Jade Glover

Christine Bottomley is Annabelle Morgan

Catriona Chandler will be playing Annabelle and Charlie's daughter, Sky Morgan

Ben Willbond is Beth's husband, Frankie Morgan

Jonathan Forbes as Natasha's husband, Sean Morgan

Louis Boyer as charming local businessman, Luca Vella

Ajay Chhabra as consulate official Vinay Taneja

Jamie, Jonathan and Ben will be playing wealthy brothers, Charlie, Sean and Frankie Morgan.

Trailer

The trailer can be viewed here!

Filming Locations

The series began filming in Malta in February 2024.

Episodes

There will be 6 episodes.

Air Date

It will air on Channel 5 (in the UK) during two weeks in September. The first three episodes will air on Monday 16th, Tuesday 17th and Wednesday 18th. With the final three airing Monday 23rd, Tuesday 24th and Wednesday 25th.

[thewadapan]

TFNation 2024 post-mortem

So I went to the Transformers convention again! If you're following me for non-Transformers reasons, then this blog post will be worthless to you, sorry. If you didn't go the convention, it will probably be worthless to you as well. And if you did go to the convention, then it might even be worthless to you, too! I'd strongly recommend just listening to the podcast Jo and I recorded looking back on the event; it's more fun. I really only write these things as a personal record of the weekend, so it doesn't just fade into memory, because TFNation is one of the most important times of the year for me.

In previous years, I've followed the convention by making an hourlong vlog, recapping the event start-to-finish from my POV, showing off all the toys wot I got. Last year the production of that video was such an albatross that I committed to never doing that again, which turned out to be a good thing, because I don't think I could talk breezily about TFN 2024 to a camera for a couple of hours.

It's not to say that I didn't have a good time at TFN, or even a great time. But where some people seem to have found this to be the best TFN yet, I was definitely struggling a bit at some points in the weekend. In previous years, I've spoken to close friends of mine at or after the event, and they've expressed feelings of having had an off year one way or another, and I guess this year it was my turn! Partly, this blog post is going to be me working out what exactly went wrong, so next year's convention can hopefully go a little smoother for me.

The problems really started weeks before the convention. I had big plans to put together a really special zine, something that would prick people's ears up, something that I thought would genuinely leave a lasting impact. I'm being cagey about it because I hope it might still happen next year. But I couldn't source the material that I needed. Not to worry, I thought, I'd left myself more than enough time that I could brute-force the problem, create the material by myself.

And then I had an unrelated personal crisis, and suddenly it was three weeks later and I had nothing, with maybe a month to go until the convention. And I still made a go of it! But it couldn't be done. Not with what I had. Every approach I tried turned out to have hidden pitfalls and it was all turning out dogshit. I admitted defeat to my collaborators, who I'd inadvertently strung along for most of a year, which was embarrassing and frustrating.

Meanwhile, another deadline had been creeping up: the Refined Robot Co. zine, compiled by my close friend Ben, to which I contribute every year, needed to go to the printers in a few weeks and I had nothing. I'd picked a robot to write about out of a hat a few months ago, hoping that a good angle would occur to me in the intervening time, but it just didn't. I came up with an angle for Kingdom Rattrap, but immediately realised I had far more to say about that toy than could be contained within the margins of a single page.

When I saw the cover for the zine featured Missing Link Optimus Prime, who otherwise didn't have a page in the zine, I asked Ben if I could switch my page to talk about that toy instead. He agreed. However, around this time, I realised that the Transformers: Mosaic archive I've been working on for the last two years would be ending almost exactly coinciding with the convention; with the queued posts almost exhausted, I had no choice but to sit down and blitz through the remainder of the work. I gathered up all the scripts and previews I'd found, and I worked out a format for the posts. I lettered, coloured, and in a couple of cases wrote unfinished material I'd found to bring those strips to a readable state of completion, if possible. I wrote a blogpost reflecting frankly on the difficulties of the project, which would go over like a wet fart when it finally went live.

I started having problems with my eyes. They weren't hurting, not exactly, but they seemed to be producing copious amounts of sleep: viscous strings of yellow gunk accumulating not in the corner of my eye, but around the back, in the eyelashes, everywhere. I got some eye drops which didn't help. I went to the optician and she gave me some different eye drops, which did help. There wasn't any infection or anything. It was obvious what had happened: I'd been staring intently at the screen for days, drawing and redrawing the same gradients over bitcrunched artwork.

By this point—look, honestly, I'm losing track of the timeline here, in which order I did what—I really, really needed to get the RRCo review done. Feeling like I needed to make something worth the wait, I'd given some serious thought to the exact kind of writing I wanted to submit this time around. I wanted something in the vein of my intended Kingdom Rattrap review, but much tighter. An old memory surfaced and I finally had a hook; I wrote the page over the course of a few hours across a couple of days, in the electric kind of fugue state that happens when you're writing something that fucking slaps. Ben really liked it.

The problem, then, was the art: I'm not an artist. I can colour a drawing fine, but I don't even consider myself a colourist. The only way I can draw anything remotely good is through hard work: studying a reference object intently, drawing, erasing, redrawing the same line over and over again until it approximates reality. I was glad that the format of the zine encourages traditional media, because it meant I could force myself not to use the computer for a couple of days. I told Ben I hoped to have the piece ready by the end of Thursday (my day off); it was Saturday by the time I was able to sheepishly slip my rough pencils over the counter—for the robot mode, not even the truck mode! I spent Sunday inking and colouring. I spent Monday drawing the entire truck. Finally, it was done.

(If you haven't already, check out the rest of the zine here!)

There were now less than two weeks to go until the convention. Every year, I like to have something to give out, to give to people I meet as a little souvenir or whatever. It gives me an excuse to talk to people, and has been my #1 life hack for not being socially paralysed at the convention. I still had the Wheelie: Spotlights comic I'd made a year or two back, but I'd finally given up on my shitty old EPSON inkjet printer, which meant I needed to use a local print shop instead, which meant I needed to learn how to set up a PDF with bleed (on a comic that we'd drawn with zero bleed). The cheapest, quickest print shop in town is a forty minute walk away; I can make the round trip maybe twice during opening hours. Originally, I'd designed Wheelie: Spotlights to have a greyscale print on the reverse side as a costcutting measure, but the print shop told me that if I wanted one side in colour, the reverse side would have to be charged as a colour side as well. I decided to redesign the entire page in glorious full colour to take advantage of this fact. I reworked the comic itself to add bleed where necessary. I had to send through the file maybe three times before I'd finally gotten it all in the exact format they wanted.

The thing about Wheelie: Spotlights is that all of my friends already got copies at previous conventions. I wanted to make something else for them, and decided to make an A5 collection of prose and comics. I coloured an old bit of Transformers Animated concept art and designed a cover around it, made layouts for everything, typeset all the stories, wrote brief afterwords, and reeled off an introduction for the collection as a whole. I realised I probably could finish the Rattrap review in time, and did so; four people read it before the zine went to print. The vibe I got from the prereaders was that it's probably the best piece of writing I've ever released—but they're all biased. I sent through the file in the format the printers told me they wanted, only for it to turn out that they wanted it in a slightly different format, but then they managed to print it anyway as a special favour. Honestly, the print shop kind of rules. But what I'm trying to say is that the whole thing was very stressful.

On the way back from one trip to the print shop, I noticed an unread message from an IRL friend. They'd sent through a PDF several days ago. It was a photo of a handwritten letter to me, basically calling me out for being a shit friend and ghosting them for weeks during an important transitory period in their life. I replied with a rambling explanation for my behaviour, and apologised, promising to make things right in a couple of weeks.

But it did upset me! I was very angry at myself. And what made it even worse was that it happened at the peak of my fervour, when I had far too much momentum to simply stop and have it all be for naught. I was also painfully conscious that I'd been basically ignoring my girlfriend for days, in the run-up to this convention where I'd practically be going radio-silent for a long weekend. It all turned out okay, I got the zine done with a couple of days spare, everything was fine. But I had been stressed. I had been staying up late to work on my fake fandom job, and getting up early to work my real bullshit job. And my train was at 06:57 in the morning.

Honestly, that part on its own would have been fine, I wouldn't have it any other way: I usually arrive around noon on Friday, and there's plenty of people around, so it means I get as much out of the day as possible. But I was already tired, and I wound up paying the price.

Friday

I met up with Jalaguy and Daniel right away. Coming from the States, Daniel had brought us each a copy of the abortive Final Faction comic, which never came out in the UK. Meanwhile, I had an old LEGO book and a Transformers PlayStation 2 demo to give to Jalaguy; as always, we were rooming together this year, which made everything a breeze. I quickly gave out a bunch of zines to people. Ben arrived; he was staying at the Moxy, the other hotel in the NEC, and the plan was for us to store the copies of the RRCo zine in mine and Jalaguy's room so he wouldn't have to cart them all back and forth himself all weekend. For some reason I got it in my head that the Moxy is outside the NEC, like the Premier Inn and the Ibis, so I led Jala and Daniel on a wild goose chase out to the train station before finally checking my phone to work out where to go next, and realising that we'd already passed it.

The Moxy is comically different to the Hilton: decked out in plush leather, neon signage, vinyl records. When we got there, the elevator wouldn't work for us; we needed a keycard to operate it. We sat in these luxurious leather swivel chairs that span around frictionlessly. Ben took us up to his room. He was bemused because it looks like a dungeon: dark mood lighting, metal lattice on one wall, everything is strapped to everything else. We split the zines amongst ourselves and carted them over.

Jo and Rabbit rocked up; partners of 9 years, this marked the first time Rabbit has been able to come over from the States, and it was the first time they'd met in person. I think we all decided to give them some space. Nonetheless, we did a quick handoff, because I'd bought Jo's Timelines Transmutate off her. I gave her a copy of the zine, and watched with dawning horror as she flipped to the Kingdom Rattrap review, shotgunned the whole thing, then promptly got up and left without a word.

This was probably the first thing that really threw me. I'd given out maybe a third of the copies already, and was planning to give out the rest, and now I was like... is it bad? Worse—is it upsetting? As it happened, I had completely misread the situation in my sleep-deprived state. Jo hadn't even finished reading the story, she'd just needed to go to a panel! But I didn't get the chance to ask her about it until after the convention, so until then, it preyed on my mind.

While people were taking a look at Transmutate, one of the pegs ended up getting snapped, which also kind of sucked. I had anticipated it would happen, because 2010s toys are fragile, and felt like it was worth it to be able to share in the joy of that figure with other people, instead of just whisking it off to the hotel room. Thankfully it was just a tab for weapon storage, which still works, it's just a bit looser without it. But it's one of those things where you just go—agh! Another stupid little stressor for the pile.

Anyway, although I vaguely dislike Transformers: Prime in terms of the fiction, the toys are all from the period of design that I know and like best, and these particular colourways elevate them so much. Beast Wars: Uprising is amongst my favourite Transformers fiction, and these are the most iconic characters from that universe, so I'm thrilled to finally have them both. God, do I need to get a Lio Convoy now?

I think a high point on Friday was the "pen con" that took place between auto_thots and sixty_cats. I'd seen auto_thots tweeting about it, so I went over with the one pen that I'd happened to bring, a bright orange LAMY fountain pen I'd had since I was a kid. I'd recently been starting to think about changing my signature, because the one I've had all my life is illegible and ugly, and I wanted something nice and distinctive—they gave me some encouragement that I was along the right lines. I've honestly never seen such cool pens, either—sparkly inks, beautiful and functional designs. It was nice to be excited about something that wasn't Transformers.

Speaking of which, there was a lot of love for G.I. Joe this year. In particular, SameAsItEverWoz was going around showing us this one stock photo of Snake Eyes from Rise of Cobra, with his stupid fucking skintight bodysuit and luscious kissable lips sculpted into his helmet. It was kind of like the chicken game, insofar as if your objective was not to look at Snake Eyes, then you were basically fucked. Erica had a notebook with her and people started drawing their own takes on the image. I did a T-posing Snake Eyes (see my reference picture below) in fountain pen. Clearly the whole thing quickly snowballed and people began submitting some genuinely high-effort entries, so later in the weekend I went back and rendered my Snake Eyes out in Sharpie with full muscle definition, chiaroscuro. By the end of the weekend, there were entries from James Roberts, Jack Lawrence, and Nick Roche, which is fucking nuts. I desperately want this to become a real zine.

Anyway, I've gotten ahead of myself. On Friday, I had a handoff arranged with a guy on Facebook for an Armada roleplay Star Saber to give to Jo. It turned out to be far, far smaller than I had imagined it being as a kid, more like a Star Dagger to an adult, but it had a really fun mechanism.

Just like last year, I didn't have a ticket for any of the Friday panels; there was nothing to justify the cost of admission and I usually prefer to hang out anyway. In the bar, the usual big table at the back was covered in toys, all belonging to Rachel; she was having a big collection purge, and had decided that it would all be free to a good home. I was extremely tempted by a Titans Return Hot Rod to put with my various Lost Light characters, but it was missing its guns, so I hesitated, thinking I'd find a cheap complete copy in the dealer hall. I got to try a Fall of Cybertron Ultra Magnus, on which I snapped a tab (see, it's very easily done); I actually really liked the toy, but this year I was planning to cut down on the number of redecos I was picking up. Historically, a lot of my toys have been redecos, often toy-only characters, so I have kind of a weird collection—but increasingly, I find myself wanting to get molds in the colors they were originally intended to wear. That Fall of Cybertron Optimus Prime has always been an iconic design in my eyes, and after handling the mold, I resolved that I'd pick one up if I saw it (alas, I didn't). Meanwhile, Jala had been toying with the idea of starting a Star Seekers collection, after winning a Titan Class Tidal Wave at the Transformers One pre-screening they attended; one of the toys on the table was Prime Thundertron, which they quickly decided he hated, but they seemed pretty set on getting Legacy Thundertron if they could.

Around this point was probably also the most time I spent with Cone, who I know from the TFWiki Discord; it definitely feels like he's been able to come out of his shell a bit more with each convention he attends, which is really nice.

Dinner was Zizzi's, which I don't always get along with; a friend's parents back in uni would often take us there, and I found that I never liked the pizzas, which is my first instinct for Italian food. This time I had some seafood pasta which was much better. Afterwards, we kept things very lowkey; I remember playing Lexicon in the bar with Ben, Daniel, and Jala, getting very tired, and making it back to the room not long after midnight.

Saturday

I'd banked on getting over seven hours sleep that night, but for some fucking reason, the hotel decided to test their fire alarm at 6:40 AM. I was genuinely baffled by this. Hotels exist for one purpose: as a place to sleep. By momentarily blaring the siren, waking me up at such an ungodly hour, the hotel had failed at its one job. I spent the next hour trying to fall back asleep before giving up; it was time to get ready for breakfast anyway. I put on my SPREEM shirt and the matching (read: clashing) garments I brought to go with it. Last year, I had a pair of thrifted three-quarter-length hot pink cargo pants several sizes too big for me, which I held up with a belt; they were constantly falling down and showing my pants, which wasn't great. This year, I was able to get some pink shorts, which were an upgrade in that they'd stay around my waist, but a downgrade in that you'd sometimes be able to see my balls if I sat down in just the wrong position. If you saw my balls this year: I'm sorry, or, you're welcome.

My usual strategy for TFN—because food at the NEC is invariably expensive—is to really load up on the buffet breakfast, snack through the day, and grab a meal with people in the evening. I duly wolfed down an English breakfast, some yoghurt, a croissant, a waffle, and a mini muffin. Unfortunately, the opening ceremony began before I was quite finished, so I ended up cradling a little muffin as I speedwalked across the hotel to the panel room. I couldn't see any easily-accessible seats, so I opted to just stand at the back. I wound up stood right in front of a fire alarm button, with this muffin in my hands, and the audience kept needing to clap for the guests and the announcements, which I couldn't do, because I was holding this stupid fucking muffin and trying not to move a muscle because I kept imagining myself setting off the fire alarm. (At the train station the previous day, I'd accidentally hit an "intercom for assistance" button at the train station with my bag; I heard someone asking me how they could help just as the train pulled in.)

Gherkin appeared and said "Hi Wada," and I said "Hi," back. I couldn't turn to one side without, I imagined, hitting the button. I ate just the top half of the muffin and tried to clap at the appropriate moments; my arms got covered in crumbs. I later saw a message from Gherkin in the group chat: "At the opening ceremony right now waiting for wads to recognise who I am". Aaaagh!

Toy Fu had posted some pictures of their table at the start of the day, and I spotted a Thrilling 30 Swerve & Flanker, which was practically the one thing I'd told myself I'd buy instantly if I saw it this year. Even better, I could just about make out a single-digit price tag; I'd resigned myself to just sort of paying whatever at this point. I fully expected it to have vanished by the time the dealer hall opened, but after we made our way up the monstrous queue, I walked in to find it still sitting on the table unnoticed. I guess the demand for that toy really isn't what it once was! Alas, I am a slave to my memes. I also spotted a GDO Wheelie on the table for next to nothing, and was sorely tempted to buy it just for the sake of having a spare—like, I already have one!—but I resisted, and instead I asked one of the volunteers if I could leave a copy of the Wheelie comic with the toy. He was charmed by the idea; hopefully whoever picked it up enjoyed it!

After that, though, I ended up being weirdly stuck. I found an Armada Knock Out sans missile for a couple of quid, which was perfect, because mine is missing his legs (I didn't lose them, I got him like that). I found a loose hand/foot/gun for Combiner Wars Skydive or Air Raid (they're identical), which was perfect because mine had come with Firefly's hand/foot/gun for some reason. But apart from that, everything seemed too expensive. Was I really going to spend £25 on an Armada Deluxe? Not likely. Except £25 is what all Deluxes cost these days. I don't buy them at that price, but like... it's reasonable, from that perspective! Here I was, at the one time a year where it's possible to find pretty much anything, and the best I could do was pick up some piddly little bits and pieces for toys I already owned.

The longer I walked around, the more I found myself reckoning with the very thing I was trying to work through in the Kingdom Rattrap review: namely, that my relationship to Transformers and to money is completely fucked. Everything seemed more expensive than it had been in previous years, except this made perfect sense, because everything has become more expensive, the econony or whatever is in the shitter. I used to like getting cheap Scouts for a fiver; now I already own most of the Scouts and what the fuck does a fiver buy you anyway? 1.25 meal deals? I'd ask for the price of unlabelled toys, and balk at the answers: "I'll think about it, thanks!" They were usually gone by the time I got back.

Another issue was that, this year, the dealer hall was more crammed than ever. They'd completely rearranged the stalls to give more room in the aisles, which did help, but not nearly enough to cope with the horde that descended upon the place on Saturday. It was too hot, and too loud, and far, far too busy. Many of the dealers were visibly struggling to keep up. Speaking as someone who works in a shop, I shudder to think of the stock loss, the figures manhandled and broken, the accessories lost—hell, maybe even the shit stolen, there have been thieves at TFNation in the past.

I remember at one point during the weekend, at one table, there was this big tub of toys, and while taking a look I absentmindedly put a figure to one side—and someone snapped at me, something like, "Excuse me this is my table!" Turned out it was a separate stall, someone selling handmade stuff. Presumably that person spent the whole weekend doing that, getting progressively more irritated at the careless nerds more interested in toys than in crafts, constantly encroaching on the tablespace. And dealers pay for their tables—right? I totally understand why that person was miffed. But also, personally, being snapped at like that... didn't love it! Actually felt quite bad about it! I felt like the environment put me in that position. For all of Saturday, I flatly did not enjoy going around trying to root through bins. Again, see my review: I felt like a rat.

Still, I had an ace up my sleeve, one that would let me escape the sweaty press of the dealer hall altogether: another pre-arranged purchase from someone on Facebook. After a panel on vintage retailer catalogues—the only panel I attended on Saturday—we eventually found a mutually convenient moment to meet up. His name's Lee, he was a gregarious lad maybe a little older than me. I gave him a full suite of zines by way of thanks.

When showing people what I'd bought from this guy, I'd find myself always doing the same bit, because it felt like the only way to even communicate this insane pickup. I would produce this Commemorative Series Red Alert reissue from my bag, and say, "Yeah, so I got this Red Alert. He's really nice! He was £40, and normally I wouldn't spend £40 on a toy like this. But the thing is..."

And then I'd pull another toy out. "He did come with this Inferno."

And then I'd go back into the bag. "And he also came with this Skids."

"And he also came with this Prowl."

"And he also came with this Jazz."

"And he also came with this Tracks." (Tracks was still safely encased in his backing tray!)

"Oh, and he also came with this entire Menasor."

Ben, the only person I know who has a deep connection with the Commemorative Series (or similar) reissues, gave me the best reaction. "HOW? HOW?" The story goes like this—not that it's much of a story. I was about to leave the house one day. I happened to go on Facebook. There was a post in a sales group, timestamped three minutes ago. Amongst others, he had the above Autobot Cars listed: £5 each or take the lot for £25; along with the Menasor: £15, because Wildrider's arm is broken off and the combiner feet were missing. There were no photos of the Autobots. I messaged the guy to ask if Menasor was still available. He was. I asked if he had photos of the Autobots; he did, they looked fantastic. I said I'd take the lot and PayPal'd him £40.

He explained to me that he'd listed the toys as cheaply as he felt he could, because he wanted them to go to people who wanted them, rather than just the people with the most money. I felt like his logic was wrong: someone who pays a lot of money for something can be guaranteed to want it at least a certain amount. Someone who snaps up something valuable for not very much could just be a grifter. Still, I think what he meant was: he wanted the toys to go to someone who wanted them who would not otherwise be able to afford them, which is exactly who I am. G1 stuff like that has always enthralled me, and I've always kind of assumed I would just never be able to own them. Since last TFN, I've built up a nice little collection of the Retro reissues, by picking them up on deep discount, but I've always assumed the Autobot Cars would just be forever beyond my grasp. And now, thanks to Lee, I have a whole little collection of them!

(Hopefully a lot of other people were also able to benefit from his generosity. I remember he'd listed the reissue Insecticons for... maybe a tenner? Powermaster Optimus Prime and Apex Bomber for £25, a beautiful G1 Sureshot for literally a fiver, Robots in Disguise 2001 Optimus Prime for £40. Absolutely mad stuff.)

These toys went basically straight back to my room; they had too many bits to lose, and I didn't know how any of them worked. After the convention, I was able to get Menasor's feet off eBay, but it's mad to think that I paid about the same for the rest of the combiner as I did for those feet alone! They now have pride of place on my burgeoning G1 shelf.

(Oh, and as you can imagine, this stroke of insane good luck certainly hasn't helped my attitude towards Transformers and money.)

As always, Ben continues to have the best taste when it comes to toys. His sealed Beast Machines Scavenger instantly made me resolve to get a copy of that toy for myself, as I've always liked the look of it. His true star finds though were an X-Dimension Adventure Team—commemorating the opening of his very own comic shop this year—and a Stormtrooper Rage, with its perplexing water squirter and stunning colour scheme. Jalaguy got their own Adventure Team the next day; it's so nice to see people getting into Armada stuff.

The food situation ended up being a bit fucked on Saturday. Some people wanted a light lunch and a big dinner, others the reverse. We ended up doing Nandos mid-afternoon—I had a small chicken burger—and then later we got a Subway. These two small meals weren't far off the cost of a typical main meal at Resort World, so I was quite happy with that, and might suggest something similar on future Saturdays; trying to squeeze in a sit-down meal before, during, or after Club Con is often a nightmare. But I definitely think not everyone got exactly what they wanted in terms of food that day.

Rushing back from Resort World with Ben, I heard someone yell: "Nice shirt!" So I automatically replied, "Thanks!" And then they said something like, "Why does it say SPERM on it?", and I realised they weren't there for the Transformers convention, they were just a bunch of neds loitering by the lake. So I proceeded to ignore them, and they jeered at us as we walked away. I don't usually wear the SPREEM shirt in public, partly because I like it and don't want to ruin it, and partly because it really does look like it says SPERM. As we stopped by my room to pick up my Club Con wristband, I was becoming a thundercloud. Here I was at the Transformers convention, the one weekend a year where I don't have to feel too weird about my interests, and it's like I'm back in fucking high school. I wondered if maybe it's time to retire the shirt altogether. The outfit never quite works for me.

Club Con

Ah, Club Con. This was definitely the low point for me of the whole weekend, which sucks, because usually it's a highlight. I think what I should say is this: it was mostly a me problem. Things had not been going well for me up to this point. I was very, very tired.

So, the cosplay contest was spectacular, as ever. People have such wonderfully creative and well-done costumes, everyone is so buzzed about it. My favourite was definitely the Cosmos with a shiny retrofuturistic UFO-like dress, absolute conceptual slam dunk that deservedly took top prize in the "humanized" category; the cosplayer in question, Mika, turns out to also be a phenomenally talented artist. But there were a lot of really thoughtful outfits this year. I was surprised when the Rosanna/Flip Sides cosplayer (swapping faction onstage!) turned out to be none other than our Umar—though of course, who else? And Erica's sk8r grl take on Flamewar was also brilliant.

I will say, it definitely felt like the dividing line between the "mech" and "humanized" categories was a little blurred—both had the same regularly-dressed-people in helmets—and as is often the case, while the winners were all extremely worthy entrants, I did feel like some people got robbed. Well okay I'll just say it: JLaw is definitely biased towards Lost Light, he always has been, and cosplays based on his comic always do well as a result. There was a stunning—I mean really phenomenal, huge cardboard shoulder pillars visible even from my worst-seat-in-the-house behind a tall guy at the back-left—Armada Megatron cosplayer, appropriately chosen for a convention with David Kaye in attendance, who didn't even place in the top three for the mech category. Outrage!

Last year, you might recall that one cosplayer inadvertently ended up trapped improvising lipsyncing and dancing onstage for three minutes because the AV team didn't fade out the backing track. And while that was spellbinding, clearly the convention organisers have overcorrected, as it felt like the cosplayers were being ushered on and off the stage very briskly. I definitely think some of them should have been allowed to chew the scenery a little more. Particularly, I should say, considering what was to follow later in the evening.

During the changeover, we got to see a preview of the next episode of The Basics—this one featuring the Star Seekers. Honestly, it instantly pilled me on the Star Seekers. They're so fucking cool slash dumb. The Matrix Test was brilliant, as always; McFeely has a real gift for dredging up the obscure and the esoteric. This year, the TFWiki gang split into two teams, hoping to at least give everyone else a chance: I was with Jo, Rabbit, Ben, and newcomer James, carrying forward the torch of the Crack Calibre Laser-Blazer Broadswords, while Gherkin, Viv, Jala, Daniel and Cone formed Feast or Famine (named after the newly-discovered Star Seeker character from the Chinese MMO).

As usual, I mostly served as a voice to say either "yeah that's right" or "I don't know about that" as other team members answered the questions. It's really high time I learned to trust my gut, though—there were two questions, "What connects the characters Scrounge, Crankcase, SOMETHING and Devastar?" and "Is Motomix a Transformer?" where I was completely correct, but second-guessed myself. James totally surprised me by really holding his own, getting a few questions which had the rest of us stumped or uncertain. It later transpired that we had in fact won the quiz, in spite of our effort to handicap ourselves; they never officially announced this result, we had to ask McFeely, who had to ask David. Assuming this wasn't deliberate, which I would understand... kinda weird not to announce that at any point!

I guess I'll take this moment to talk a little more about James, 'cause he was one of the people I met this year and got to hang out with for more than just a single conversation. He honestly just sort of appeared from nowhere with a clear objective of "I am going to become friends with these people", which I massively respect (had he turned out to be a cunt, I would not have respected it, but he wasn't, so!). I was reminded of myself doing something similar towards the start of uni, and at my first solo TFNation not long after that. He seemed cool and was very nice to all of us. I've since chatted with him a little online; apparently the only reason he picked our group out of the crowd was the OSKO Rampage I had sitting on the table. I'd brought that figure along as a conversation starter, so looks like it did its job!

Anyway, so the evening progressed. There was the charity auction, which went crazy, but is also kind of just half an hour of clapping while people with money bid for mildly interesting items. Someone correct me if I'm wrong—that custom Action Master Billy Stripes sold for like a grand, right? I say this only because I remember when the sealed Animated Swindle remarked by the late Derrick J. Wyatt himself went for £650, I thought, wow, that is such a measly sum by comparison.

Simon Furman and Andrew Wildman went up onstage to announce their new podcast. Apparently the first episode went up over a month ago? Well, they have a Patreon, etc, you know the deal. I'm not saying that I won't listen to it, I might at some point, but definitely as an announcement to that crowd of increasingly-younger-skewing fans it went over like a wet fart. I presumed this was the "Like a surprise? Close your eyes..." teaser on the schedule, because podcasts are something you listen to, meaning you can close your eyes. As it turned out, I was very mistaken.

Next up, there was the script reading. As with last year, it wasn't written by, well, a writer, so it kind of sucked, to put it nicely. I guess without mercilessly dissecting the thing for every single joke that fell flat, I'll try and explain what a convention script reading should be like, as someone who's seen a ton of them. You have a handful of huge voice actors with iconic roles in the room. Your story, whatever it is, is nothing more than a means to have them play off each other, cover their full dramatic range, and say as many catchphrases as you can in as short a space of time as possible. You want to avoid in-jokes which the actors themselves—who typically aren't as deep in the sauce as you—are unlikely to get. You want to minimise the role of the narrator or other side-characters. You want to avoid splitting the cast in-story, to allow all the characters to play off one another, while still contriving to avoid having a voice actor swap between multiple characters in the same scene. You want the actors to play the specific versions of characters they actually played, not different versions from other timelines or whatever. You want to give fuckin' David Kaye some actually good material to work with—more Beast Wars, less Armada, dig? You want to pace the jokes so they lead to direct punchlines, so the audience as a whole can laugh and clap before the story progresses, rather than burying punchlines in the middle of individual line-reads or back-and-forths. I'm not a comic writer, but as an audience member I can definitely tell when things aren't working, and I truly wonder why on Earth at a convention with people like Jim Sorenson, James Roberts and Simon Furman in attendance, you wouldn't allocate some portion of your budget to commissioning a good script. As it was—as some of my friends also put it—the moment the narrator said "End of Act 1!", my heart just sank: so is this two acts? Three? Reader, it was three, and none of them were any good.

Honestly, the big thing that had me baffled was that the entire script reading was predicated on the fact that Gregg Berger has, in the past, voiced Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. But the thing is, I always thought it was Peter Cullen who voiced Eeyore! I'd coincidentally had a conversation about that very fact with Daniel earlier in the weekend! Gherkin googled it as the script reading dragged on. Sure enough, it seems that Gregg Berger only filled in the role for a few video games and ancillary media, beginning in 1997. He does a wonderful Eeyore voice, don't get me wrong, but I don't get the impression it's his role, and to place such a focus on "Eeyore from Kingdom Hearts II" for a Transformers convention felt like a misguided choice to me.

At the end of the script reading, there was immediately another bonus round of charity auction, where they flogged a signed copy of the script and an inflatable rubber ducky from Amazon. Up and up the price crept, in increments of £10 at a time. At £280, for some reason I'll never know, David asked us all to clap, as if this was in any way an auspicious figure. We duly obliged. The final bid ended up being for something like £450, or 2/3rds of a sealed Animated Swindle remarked by the late Derrick J. Wyatt.

Overrunning by this point, I thought: this is it, the headline event is starting soon, I'll be able to chill out for an hour watching the old cartoon, and then I can go back to the bar and hang out, hopefully feeling a little rested. But then it was the actual surprise! The Mapes brothers had found a never-before-seen recording from the '80s. What was it? It was the audition tapes for Wheelie. Because I'm still in theory the custodian of Wheelie's TFWiki page, I dutifully got out my phone to record. The performances were demented, delivering nonsensical rhymes in a nonspecifically exotic accent. After each, David would go, "Do you want to hear another?" And the audience yelled back, "Yes..." And I sat there, listening to these unfamiliar voice actors cackling and giggling, thinking how it's been years—literally years—since I started trying to fix Wheelie's wiki page. I haven't touched it in months. And I wondered, will I ever be free of you? Will my work ever be done? As I write this I have been home for less than 24 hours, and somebody has already added a note to the page. It rhymes badly. It's not cited. I'll need to fix it, I guess.

And then, Gregg Berger got up onstage, to read us an extract from his work-in-progress memoir. He told us, it's fine, feel free to leave, none of you are expected to stay, this isn't that kind of thing. But the thing is, I had no idea how long this segment was going to go on for (20 minutes, per the schedule? Everything had overrun!), and I wanted to watch the cartoon, you know, the headline event of the evening, the thing I'd been told was the big thing to be excited about, which most of my friends were staying here for anyway. I snapped. I couldn't take it any more. I got my phone out and started posting in the group chat.

I could not tell you a single thing Berger talked about in the extract from his memoir. I was simply too tired. It described a world utterly alien to mine. A third of the words he was saying seemed to be quotes from other people. And the thing was, the thing that really got to me, aside from all the self-hatred over feeling like a hater, was that I'd brought with me a zine containing some lengthy personal episodes from my real life, and all I could think was: does this sound like that reads? Will my friends read it, and slump in their chairs, and loll their heads, persisting only out of a sense of obligation?

I knew it was over because suddenly people started clapping. By then, it was already too late. I watched the first part of "More than Meets the Eye", a boring cartoon I'd watched mere months prior in the cinemas (and enjoyed, somehow), and it was only when I realised we'd moved into the second part without me even noticing that I decided I was simply too tired to stay any longer, and finally made the wise choice to return to the bar.

Usually, Club Con has been fun and exciting, and I think the problem TFNation is increasingly having with it is that they feel like every year they need to debut something which has never been seen before, something important, over something which sparks joy. Last year was great: Jayhan rocked. This year did not rock. It just rolled on, and on, and on...

And I hate to be a hater about it. The auction raised £6400 for charity, of course that's fucking brilliant. The script reading made me chuckle a couple of times. The Wheelie auditions genuinely shed some light on a character/performance which has always been controversial. Gregg seems to have touched the hearts of a lot of people with his reading. These things were all perfectly fine taken on their own. And of course a huge part of my problem was just the physical reality of it, my own tiredness, the caught-up-in-my-own-head of it all. It was a me problem. But also, also, could they not have saved Gregg 'til last, as they have done with people like Garry Chalk in the past?

Look, something was just cursed this year. Viv got trapped in one of the elevators for ten minutes; another of the elevators was permanently cordoned off with hazard tape. That Saturday night, there were reports of Jim Sorenson being pursued through the corridors by someone from the salsa convention. The salsa convention! In years past, this charming trademark of TFNation, these bizarrely coincident events, background set-dressing, now elevated to plot-relevance, twisted into something adversarial. We heard that one of our volunteers had got in a fight with one of theirs. What the FUCK was going on, that night? There was a new water cooler positioned by the entrance to the dealer hall. Could there have been something in there, turning our vision red, driving us to madness?

I don't really remember what happened after I left the panel room. I hung out in the bar for a bit, and began to enjoy myself again—but I don't think I stayed up much later.

Sunday

That night, I was finally able to get some rest: I wasn't awoken by a stupid fucking fire alarm, or even a deliberately-set phone alarm, but rather by my own body deciding "hey, that's it, you've had enough". I felt good. I decided that Sunday would be a reset for me. I shaved, as I'd planned to, because my beard has developed a sizable bald spot, creeping up my neck onto the right side of my face. It used to be quite small, hidden away under my jawline—but roughly coinciding with that aforementioned personal crisis, more of the hair seems to have disappeared, an ice cap melting. At work, strangers come up to me and whisper the word "alopecia", as though whispering it makes this in any way a remotely polite thing to say to someone.

I'm not really attached to my facial hair—or rather, I guess, it's not really attached to me—but the half-on, half-off look is just kind of stupid. It's distracting. My eyes are up here! So at the moment, I'm having to shave more regularly. Maybe it'll grow back, or maybe it'll all fall off, and I'll probably be fine either way. So on Sunday morning, I took it as an excuse to perform the ritual. Cleave it away! All that shit in my skull, pushing its way out—begone! I gave myself horrendous razor burn; my blade was too blunt. In the evening, returning to my room, I saw there was still a spot of dried blood on the centre of my chin. It had been there all day. Whoops. But in the meantime, it fuckin' worked and all. I felt great. I looked cute, in my Hatsune Miku t-shirt and pink shorts.

On the way down from our room, I was able to prove to Jalaguy just how dogshit my phone camera is. I've had the thing for maybe six years at this point; it was actually my first decent-spec smartphone, but the camera is a dreadful thing that smears out every shape into a blurry haze regardless of the lighting conditions. Apparently it's "AI-enhanced", which to my knowledge just means you have an option to crank up the saturation sometimes; presumably, this software was a vain attempt to cover for the camera modules being cheap pieces of shit even at the time. Still, I was able to get maybe my favourite photo of the weekend.

Sunday was so, so much quieter. There is a kind lie at TFNation that Sunday's dealer hall is just as good, that places like Toy Fu purposefully hold back some stock for the second day, that the big stalls like ID Toys won't run out. It's not fucking true. The Blokees blokes had sold out. The bins were all half-full, the dregs of Revenge of the Fallen Sideswipe redecos, Armada Side Swipe redecos, Siege Sideswipe redecos, accumulated like silt in the wake of the gold rush.

But as a true gamer, I thrive on Sunday. I will find the things that no-one else wanted. I made off like a bandit. At Toy Fu, I found a Generations Junkheap going for a song; nobody gives a fuck about the Reveal the Shield Junkion mold these days, it's hot garbage, Studio Series is where it's at, but I'm still a Classics collector and I think that toy looks sick. I got my Wreck-Gar from Umar a couple of conventions ago, and now he's got a bike to ride on. Or maybe Junkheap is a Star Seeker! The world is his oyster. I also picked up a Combiner Wars Firefly—with his correct hand/foot/gun this time around—to complete my Superion, except the rest of the Aerialbots are in storage back at my parents' house so this is mostly academic.

I finally got a chance to properly look at the stall of my favourite traders, Blue Beetle. I've historically spent tons of money on frankly absurd quantities of cheap shit toys from their stall; this year, it was slimmer pickings for me, their huge bucket of slop by that point consisted mostly of BotBots. As usual, there was also an assortment of Transformers- and Marvel-inspired 3D-printed paraphernalia, custom-designed by one of the pair. The coolest item he had this year was a working clock in the shape of Cybertron; the second hand is the Ark, orbiting around. I don't really have room for that kind of thing in my life, but I was able to admire it from a distance.

Yesterday, I'd been tempted by an incomplete Robots in Disguise Movor and Rollbar to complement my childhood Ro-Tor and Armorhide, but they'd sold by the time I returned. Still, I was able to pick up a cheap Wildrider with dog-eared stickers; I plan to rip out his arm and use it to repair the other one I got. Last year, they also had an absolutely ruined Tentakil in their big bin, so sun-bleached as to be practically a redeco, with painfully stiff joins I dared not to try; I had actually resolved ahead of time that if it was still there this year, I'd pick it up, to go with my knackered Snap Trap. Well, lo and behold, there it was, dredged up from the BotBot pick-and-mix! I picked it up, and the main guy at the stall (I really need to get his name one of these years) waxed poetic about it, in mock outrage. "All weekend, I've seen people pick that little guy up, and I'm just like—come ON, he's £2!!! Yeah, he's a little sunburned, but where are you going to get a G1 guy for £2?" Of course he was absolutely right. As I said to him, it was less a question of whether I wanted to spend £2 on a Tentakil, and more a question of whether I dared to dip into the world of peroxide or whatever. But hey, if there was ever a toy to test the waters with...!

My dream of a Robots in Disguise Ruination wasn't quite dead, however—another stall actually had another Rollbar, this one complete with instructions, for a similar price to the one I'd seen at Blue Beetle. I also grabbed a Classics Megatron (about time!) from the same seller, and he threw in a Universe Ravage for free (my secondhand Hound came without one when I got it, many years ago now, so it was perfect!).

I hesitated for far longer than I should've over a complete Armada Demolishor for literally a tenner at another store. The thing is that I already have a Demolishor, with Blackout, just missing his missiles. But finding the missiles on their own has proven to be far trickier than I'd ever imagined! So really, I'd just be admitting defeat by buying a complete copy and flogging my incomplete one to recoup the cost (I could probably sell the Mini-Con alone for a tenner, if I was patient enough). "Are you having a laugh?" said Ben, when I agonised to him over it, which immediately snapped me out of my indecision. Honestly, it's really funny how much on the same wavelength we can be in that room. At one point I saw a Transmetal Optimus Primal at the Toy Fu table, and was about to buy it on the spot, when Ben pointed out, "It's missing one of its kneecaps. There was another one here earlier which was complete—but I bought it." Unbelievable!

I helped Daniel find a Beast Machines Rattrap I'd spotted earlier in the day, which he in turn only wanted to give to Jo—and I think she in turn planned to give it to Rabbit? This reminded me that I wanted to go home with some Beast Machines stuff myself. There was a Strika and a Tank Drone, which were at the top of my list to go with the dark horse favourite of my haul last year, the Motorcycle Drone. Unfortunately, they were a bit too expensive for me to buy on sight, and they were gone by the time I circled around. I'd also set my sights on some of the other Basic Vehicons, but was torn between the original colorways and the Robots in Disguise redecos, which had starred in a comic strip of mine. In the end, I decided to favour the original Beast Machines versions; partly because as I say, I'm swearing off redecos, and partly because I didn't want to start a whole new collection of "guys who appeared in that one comic wot I did". These worked out to be about a tenner cheaper than the sets of the redecos I'd otherwise seen, so that was nice, especially because at first I was disappointed to discover that I didn't really like them: Scavenger was great, but Mirage and Nightcruz really refused to cooperate while transforming. I was later able to work them out, in the comfort of my own home, and now I like them all, thankfully.

My last purchase was really exciting for me. One stall which was new for this year was Junk Shop U.S.A., being run by a couple of gentlemen who'd apparently come all the way over from Japan, bringing with them a bunch of uncommon and niche exclusives! It's quite typical for me to spot something on Saturday which is in some way special, but not in very high demand, going for more than I could usually justify for a toy of that size—in this case, it was United Rumble and Frenzy, paired up for £40. That's just too much to pay for two Scout Class figures, in my head, but I resolved that if nobody else had bitten by the end of the weekend, I'd make them an offer. Sure enough, they didn't seem to have received much interest, so my waiting paid off. They also seemed to like my fancomic (I'd been giving copies to most of the dealers), so that was really nice. While at the convention, I often like to gather up weird little micro-collections, and I found that this year Rumble and Frenzy paired really well with the Universe Ravage and Classics Megatron. It's all vibes, innit?

Unfortunately, due to my fixation on making the most of my remaining time in the dealer hall, I made the usual mistake of neglecting to visit any of the guests until it was already basically too late. David Kaye had vanished, with only the deserted amusement-park-esque queue barrier snaking towards his table to indicate that he was ever there. Again, I should've just sucked it up and waited for half an hour earlier in the day, but ironically the reason I hadn't was a complication with the thing I'd planned to get him to sign: an Armada Megatron jigsaw puzzle Jo bought for me last year. It wasn't until lunchtime that day that I was able to enlist Ben and Jo to put the damned thing together. And let me tell you, we smashed that children's jigsaw puzzle. I was hoping to mention to Kaye how his performance in Armada was one of the main things I enjoyed about the show, back when we were watching it for Our Worlds are in Danger—but then I had to go and let myself be distracted by toys, and miss my one shot! Argh!

Nick Roche was also permanently swamped. One of the volunteers shook his head at us, saying that Roche was heading off on his lunch; Jo made a valiant effort by saying "We're close personal friends!" (are we? I'm not!). The volunteer just shrugged and said, "man's gotta feed sometime", which I thought was really funny. I managed to briefly accost Roche in the bar later and shove a zine into his hands while he was presumably on the way back to his room, so that was something at least. God knows what he thought of it, assuming he's even read it. Dude was also massively behind on commissions, and ended up staying up late in his room finishing a couple of pieces for Jo—not that you'd know it, they turned out amazing.

I was however able to catch James Roberts at his table. For the last few conventions I've been putting off buying the notebooks, but this time my number was up: I got the set. In exchange (well, apart from money) I also gave him a zine, because I figured if any of the guests would be into my pretentious-ass prose, it'd be him.

Jo and I also briefly spoke to Simon Furman, mostly to let him know that certain parts of his Armada run were the best things he'd written in the early 2000s. He did actually light up at the reminder, and bemoaned the cancellation of Energon/Cybertron, as he always has done. Plus we managed to not completely embarrass ourselves, so I'm calling this one another win.

We finally got the full story from Jim as to what the fuck happened last night. It's really a tale for the ages, and I won't do it justice here, but I'm sure the legend will only grow over the course of conventions to come. Basically, it was like this: somehow, the salsa dancers had arranged things with the hotel to cordon off one of the two corridors leading through the building. This was another reason why the convention felt so unbearably busy. The signs were carefully worded: "to avoid congestion", TFNation attendees were directed to the other corridor.

Now, to hear Jim tell it, he was rushing to the panel room, and at that point, the corridor wasn't cordoned off, or he didn't see the sign, or something. Or maybe he did see the sign—I'm sure he'll never tell. Regardless, he was three-quarters of the way up the corridor when he saw the barrier at the other end. Still, it would have been asinine for him to turn around and go back, so he ploughed ahead.

But then someone called after him! And so he glanced over his shoulder, and offered a "sorry!" in deference. Then suddenly, this person came up alongside him, tried to step in front of him. Jim sort of just carried on going, but no sooner had he passed the man, he felt hands on his shoulders! The dude had physically grabbed him, yoink!

Like a cartoon character, Jim's legs were in motion but going nowhere, and the salsa guy's supervisor or someone was saying "Let him go! Let! Him! Go!" Until finally, the guy let Jim go, and he scurried off to the panel room.

Now, I'm told that around this point, Jo and Rabbit happened to be outside the panel room. So these salsa dancers came up to them and asked, like, "Who is running your convention? The behaviour of your guests is completely unacceptable!" They dutifully pointed into the room, up on stage, where David was busy MCing.

Eventually, the salsa people ended up crossing paths with some of the volunteers. Jim likes to imagine that they made a demand along the lines of, "PRODUCE THE COWBOY!" One thing led to another, and apparently one of the salsa folk—presumably, the same blockhead who'd grabbed Jim—slapped one of the TFNation volunteers on the arm. Not a proper blow or anything, but like—what the fuck!

So finally hotel security stepped in, Jim got called out. The salsa guy began this litany of complaints: according to him, Jim bodychecked him in the corridor! He demanded that the security team check the CCTV tapes. "Yes, PLEASE check the tapes!" Jim agreed, because he knew for a fact that they would show their guy laying hands on him. And of course, he had no intention of pressing charges, but- Of course, that turns the tables. By that point, the other salsa guy was apparently at his wit's end trying to talk down his idiot pal, and finally the guy listened. And that's more or less the end of it, but apparently, hotel security later conferred with TFNation staff to say they had reviewed the tapes, and "Your guy did nothing wrong." Not only that, it turned out that Jim had been chased down the corridor not just by that one guy, but by four salsa dancers! Absolute scenes.

So yeah, that's the story of how Jim became the mortal enemy of salsa dancers. On Saturday night, I'd found the signs of this going on in the background to be kind of alarming, but in the light of day, it was impossible to see the situation as anything other than extremely fucking funny.

We had intended to stop by the "Construct-A-Con" panel, but by the time we arrived, David Kaye was up on stage doing an audience Q&A. It's crazy how much Kaye gives off the impression of being one-of-us, a bona fide fan of the franchise (or at least the parts he's been involved with!). We presume that the convention-organising roundtable had been swapped with Kaye's panel for some reason or another.

Back in the bar, the number of toys floating around had reached a critical mass. I think it was SameAsItEverWoz who had acquired a full set of Kabaya toys for Kenzan, Jinbu, and Ganoh. These came complete with ten-year-old Japanese chewing gum, so Erica, Sixty_Cats and myself all got to try some! I don't know why I'm phrasing that like this was a good thing. The gum was very bad, but we've since updated the TFWiki pages for Kenzan and Jinbu to properly document how it tasted. Ganoh's page has yet to be updated; poke Erica to get on it!

Daniel picked up a Collaborative H.I.S.S. Megatron (the toy I'd originally planned to cover for the RRCo zine)—mostly just for the sake of buying something! It was right before the dealer room was closing, so he got a good price, but a few days later his airline lost his damn luggage (he's since got it back, minus an expensive bottle of whiskey that apparently got stolen by airport staff). Still, we managed to eke what fun we could out of the thing; I was thrilled to find that Rumble and Frenzy could sit in his gun turret. Meanwhile, it turned out Umar had got a Classics Optimus Prime, which immediately made me keen to get my own copy out of storage; it's crazy how good a pair he makes with Megatron.

I'll level with you—at this stage in my journaling, it's been a full week since I arrived at the con, so my memory is hazy. These fragmentary scenes are all that remain aside from vibes. But I got to talk to a bunch of people that night. I had a good bitch sesh with Chris McFeely and PaperPlane off the YouTubes, as we chatted about wronguns in the community and the possibility of a YouTube panel at TFNation in the future (David was not keen). I got to shoot the shit about comics and stuff with Cradok from the TFWiki Discord, who I only ever really get the chance to chat with at TFN, but who's always a pleasure to speak to—he knows so much about so much.

There were a few people who left as Sunday was wrapping up, which always takes me by surprise, even though it shouldn't. Coordinating across the hotel proved to be difficult for me as I kept getting booted off the guest WiFi for some fucking reason, so I'd just randomly stop getting notifications. At one point I checked the group chat and realised that Viv had ollied outie maybe an hour ago—and it was like, welp, I'm probably not gonna see her again until next year!

That's the aspect of the convention which I find is really brutal: I like panels, and I like talking to guests, and I like getting toys, but most of all, I like talking to my pals. And unfortunately, for most of the weekend, all of these activities are in direct competition. There are physically not enough hours in the day. Most of these people, I could happily spend a whole day with them, and it'd pass in the blink of an eye. I'm not talking about the whole crowd—I'm talking about individual people. Even if I was never to step foot outside the bar the entire weekend, I'd still find myself wishing I'd got the chance to talk to all these people just a little longer. But it's only by the existence of this event that we're able to meet. For so much of the year, everyone is so far away.

I'm sick of all the typing. I just want to hang out.

I think it was Sunday night when I briefly lost my phone. My pink shorts were really throwing me off, so I didn't have my usual feeling of whether or not my phone was or wasn't in my pocket. At one point we went off to get tea, and we'd just left the hotel when I realised—shit! I'd left it in the bar. So we rushed back, but at that point it was already gone, handed in to the hotel staff by one of our pals. But the thing was, the hotel staff didn't seem to have a fucking clue about it!

I asked at the bar. They knew nothing about it and told me to check with reception. I asked at reception. The lady there asked me what my phone looked like. Oh dear, I thought. It's a generic off-brand phone. It's black. It's in a very badly yellowed clear case, I guess? "Yellow phone", echoed the receptionist. I shook my head. "No, no, it's a- nevermind. It's just a black phone." It was a moot point because she knew nothing about it. She went over to the concierge desk and tried to call housekeeping. Housekeeping knew nothing about it. She shrugged and told me to check with the bar again. Internally I was like, one of your staff has my phone! Are you not going to try and get the bottom of it? So I went back to the bar and asked one the wait staff. She passed me over to her supervisor. The supervisor went back over to the concierge desk, and finally returned with my phone, which had apparently been there the whole time. What a palaver! Daniel and Jalaguy looked after me during this whole little snafu, which was really great. We had a nice dinner and stayed up 'til late.

Monday

This was easily my best Monday at TFNation yet. I wouldn't dream of leaving on Sunday, but I usually find that the only cheap trains on Monday are late in the afternoon, by which point most people have usually fucked off already. Not so this year! I wasn't the last one standing! I was hanging out with people right up until the end! Ha!

I managed to find the last few people I'd wanted to give zines to, and shoved copies into their hands during the goodbyes. I walked a couple of people up to the train station, as is tradition.

Rachel's stuff from Friday was all out on the tables again; Prime Thundertron and Titans Return Hot Rod still hadn't found a new home, which I was thrilled by, because I hadn't found a complete Hot Rod and I'd really come around on the idea of Thundertron. I had a go of transforming him myself, and immediately decided that Jala was just wrong, it rules. There was also a Netflix Kingdom Rattrap, which I decided I'd like. My Kingdom Rattrap is the retail deco, and he's missing his rifle; this one was complete, and technically different, and it felt fitting considering all the thought I'd been giving to my stupid Rattrap collection. But then I saw Daniel playing with the toy, and I was like... actually, he should have it. I didn't need it, he'd get more out of it! It was really nice to see someone discovering that figure for the first time, a toy that means so much to me. I spent the entire train ride home just flipping Thundertron from one mode to another. Few toys exude such life and personality. Like I say, I'm normally the #1 Prime hater, so it's not a figure I ever would've thought to pick up—if not for Rachel's generosity. So I want to give her a huge thank-you, I'm sure a lot of us ended up leaving the convention with something like that which really excited us, thanks to her.

Also on the table was the original fucking pencil art for Jack Lawrence's cover to Lost Light #10, which auto_thots had bought. Unfortunately, it hadn't brought along anything to transport something like that with, so the damn thing was just out there on the table next to everyone's coffees. After a near-miss, I was like, hold the fuck on, we've got to get this thing off the table. Thankfully, Daniel had mistakenly ended up with a spare copy of issue #184 of the Marvel UK comic, which had a plastic sleeve of about the right size; in went the art, while Ella adopted the comic (we got to hang out a little bit more this year, which was nice!).

Jo, Rabbit and I are all Magic: The Gathering players, and the previous night, Rabbit had revealed that they'd brought along a bunch of Bloomburrow packs, so that we could do our own little tournament. This really thrilled me, because my coworker who I usually go to MTG events with had BETRAYED me for Bloomburrow by going away on prerelease weekend to play in another city, so I'd pretty much resigned myself to never playing the expansion, despite it being the most appealing set in ages. Thanks to Rabbit, I got to actually try some of the cards! On Sunday night, I made a WBR lifedrain deck with a bat/lizard typal theme, and we got the chance to play in the bar on Monday. My deck actually played really well! I won some, I lost some, but most importantly I had fun, and Rabbit was very patient with the fact that I was constantly getting up to say goodbye to people. I felt like I hadn't got to spend much time with either of them over the weekend up to that point, so it was really nice to actually sit down together and do something like that, right up until the time came for me to go and get my train.

Next time

So at TFNation 2025, here are some things which I hope will make me enjoy myself better:

I probably won't be contributing a review for the Refined Robot Co. zine again, assuming Ben decides to extend the trilogy into a quadrilogy. I love doing it, but drawing just takes me too long, and it's just not the same without drawing. Also, look, this isn't me blowing my own horn, but I think it'd be difficult for me to top this year's piece of writing—there were a perfect storm of factors which made this one work, and I simply can't think of a reason I'd ever be able to write a better piece in that specific format.

I have plans already for next year's zine, and if all goes according to plan, I will have the whole thing finished by the end of this year. Which should mean I will have the damn thing printed months in advance. Look, we all know how these things go, but that's my plan.

I might try to collaborate with someone who has a table to give away (sell?) some printed goods. I felt like this year was so busy that I actually struggled to give away nearly as many copies of the Wheelie comic as I'd hoped, for instance, and Ben definitely found the same with the RRCo zine. I'm sure there's lots of people who'd like my stuff if they knew it existed.

I will get lots of sleep before going to the convention. No, really.

If circumstances outside my control conspire such that I do not get enough sleep, I will allow myself to resort to the 500ml cans of Monster which the Hilton was selling for £2 each at breakfast for some unfathomable reason. Honestly, I can see why they weren't included in the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet; if they were, we probably would've seen a few heart attacks.

I will probably voice some of my criticisms of this year's Club Con in the annual feedback survey they do, in the hopes that they will take more of a back-to-basics approach. I'll also try to notice if I am not having fun, and try doing something else.

I will try to wear shorts with bigger pockets. (Sorry, Jo, I will not be able to participate in the cosplay show, though I will of course continue to rep the merch.)

I will stop taking items of breakfast food "for the road".

I will suck it up and queue to see guests towards the start of the day.

I will try and change my financial situation to have a stream of income outside of my job—whether by making significant sales from my existing collections, or by having a Patreon for some meaningful creative endeavour—which I will use to properly budget for things like TFNation. I need to allow myself to spend more on specific things that I want, and waste less time scrubbing around Facebook, eBay, and charity shops for random bargains (this year was a fluke). My attitude towards money has always been fucked and it's time to work on that.

In case it's not obvious, though, I did overall really enjoy myself this year, and that was entirely down to my friends, old and new, for being such wonderful people to be around. Even in my most sleep-deprived and highly-strung state, you all made me feel content, comfortable, and included in our little community. I was constantly being surprised by your antics. I hope to see all of you again next year, and I hope that I will see some of you before then!