#jin ling on the other hand is a beautiful princess who can do no wrong let him have friends rrraaahhh

[hitsuyou-fukaketsu]

i love you homophobic boy and his homophobic uncle

[alitotechelamine]

Hen Bie

Archive of Our Own

Jin Ling was pissed.

And he had every right to be pissed, who cares what Jingyi said. He certainly never asked for the moron’s opinion or for him to get in everyone’s way trying to play the hero. Jin Ling had had things handled with his own pack of fierce corpses, thank you very much, and Jingyi rushing in and getting in the way only made things worse.

As it stood now, no one was dead but several disciples from various sects big and small were hurt; Sizhui among them. Jin Ling finished wrapping the wound on his friend’s arm, pulling it a tad tighter than he meant to, going by how Sizhui winced.

“Sorry.” Jin Ling grumbled, tying the bandage off and standing up.

“Thank you.” Sizhui smiled, because Sizhui was nice and not stupid unlike other people. He stood up beside Jin Ling, glancing at the night sky. Fairy shuffled around their feet, sniffing at the ground.

“We should probably start heading back towards that town we saw yesterday.” Sizhui sighed.

“And do what? Sleep in the gutter?” Jin Ling kept his eyes firmly on the sky. He had a very good idea of where they were now, but he didn’t want to look at anybody, “It’s so late it’s early, the inns would have reached capacity hours ago.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to make camp.”

“With all these injuries?” Jin Ling snapped, “They’re minor now, but a few hours covered in dirt and grime will guarantee they get worse.”

“Well, then what do you suggest we do?” Sizhui asked, and though his tone was good natured, Jin Ling was sure his patience was running thin. Jin Ling didn’t blame him, he’d had to jump in to rescue Jingyi when the idiot’s own “save” had gone south. Now they were both scratched up and much worse off than they’d have been if that idiot had just kept to himself.

Jin Ling cast another glance to the sky, deciding a little yelling in the early morning was better than sleeping on cold and rocky ground.

“We’re not far from Lotus Pier, a few hours by sword maybe.” He said, “If we take it slow then everyone should get there just fine.”

“But wouldn't it be easier to just go find your Uncle then? He’s always around whenever there’s a night hunt.”

“No,” Jin Ling shook his head, “There was some emergency meeting between him and a few of the smaller sects he presides over, only a few Jiang disciples are even here.”

Sizhui raised an eyebrow in surprise. It had been a long-standing complaint of Jin Ling’s that his Uncle was always around.

Always.

Even when he tried to be discrete about it, he couldn’t easily hide from Fairy’s nose, and his beautiful spiritual dog always managed to pick up on his scent before long. She may have seen his Uncle as an ally, but she was loyal to Jin Ling above all else.

To Jin Ling, his Uncle’s constant presence was annoying, to friends it was awkward and sometimes a little scary. The Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader was an intimidating man afterall, and even if Senior Wei liked to share funny and stupid stories from their shared childhood there was no changing everyone’s slight fear of him.

“He told me he knew I’d be fine because Hanguang-jun and Senior Wei would be here too.” Jin Ling sighed.

“But… they’re not… here.” Sizhui said slowly.

“I forgot to tell him that.”

“Jin Ling!” Sizhui admonished.

“We were fine!” Jin Ling cried, “At least we were up until the end! Then Jingyi had to go and get in the way!”

“You needed help.” Sizhui said, frowning.

“I was fine, he was just showing off!” Jin Ling sneered. Fairy yipped at his feet, and he decided to take it as she agreed.

Sizhui opened his mouth to argue, when instead his eyes went wide looking at something over Jin Ling’s shoulder. Turning revealed it to be a furious Lan Jingyi, an apprehensive Ouyang Zizhen beside him.

“I was covering your back!” Jingyi cried, incensed, “You left it wide open for anything to just claw at!”

“Not true! I was perfectly fine! If you’d just kept to yourself instead of trying to be a show off then Sizhui wouldn’t have had to get involved!”

“Because the nasty f-”

“Jingyi!” Sizhui snapped.

“- just kept coming, you absolute princess!” Jingyi continued, unbothered by Sizhui trying to censor his language, “It’s just how it worked out! The only one showing off was you when you decided to jump in head first! Your Uncle won’t always be around to bail you out and neither will we!”

With that, Jingyi turned and stormed off, Zizhen looking between the two of them nervously before taking off after him.

Jin Ling sniffed, rolling his eyes. He didn’t care. Jingyi was wrong but so what? It wasn’t his job to tell the idiot how to be a competent cultivator.

He turned back to see Sizhui looking very unimpressed.

“What?” Jin Ling snapped.

“I’m going to go find Uncle Ning, and then we can start heading for Lotus Pier. You go tell whoever you need to that’s where we’re going, and maybe try to smooth things over with Jingyi for the rest of our sakes?”

“Only if he admits he was wrong.” Jin Ling sneered.

“Then just go tell whoever you need to that we’re heading for Lotus Pier.” Sizhui snapped, walking away. Jin Ling huffed, going to inform his subordinates because that was the responsible thing to do, not because Sizhui had told him to.

~

There was always an open invitation for Jin Ling to visit his Uncle’s home. Jin Ling often took advantage of it whenever he was traveling in the area, much like now. He figured his Uncle wouldn’t be too annoyed that he and his entourage were arriving with… maybe fifteen extra people? Most were just Lan disciples, and Zizhen and his two or three Ouyang disciples. It used to be worse when he was little, first his grandfather and then Uncle Yao sending nearly a small battalion of attendants with him when he stayed at Lotus Pier the first few times. Jin Ling didn’t remember that, of course, but his Uncle certainly liked to remind him it happened.

“I was in the middle of trying to run my own sect, and your damn Uncle thinks he should send fifty people? I never had the time to play host to that many, but did he care? No!”

It was mid morning by the time Jin Ling’s sword touched down just outside of Lotus Pier, his footsteps thudding gently on the wood, and he let Fairy down from his arms. Already, a Jiang disciple was running up to meet him. Jin Ling recognized him as Lei Xiaosi, his Uncle’s current head disciple.

“Jin-Zongzhu,” Lei Xiaosi said, bowing deeply, “The Yungmeng Jiang Sect is honored by your presence today.”

Jin Ling swallowed as he folded his hands and bowed back.

“Is my Uncle here?” He asked, figuring he was but feeling the need to make sure. If he wasn’t shadowing Jin Ling, he was always here.

Something passed over Lei Xiaosi’s face but he simply kept his head bowed as he said, “Yes Sect Leader, however he’s preoccupied so I’ve been tasked with the daily responsibilities.”

Jin Ling blinked, “Oh, I see.”

Was his Uncle really that busy?

“Not to worry however, I can see to the guest quarters being prepared for you and yours, the Lan and Ouyang disciples are welcome as well of course.”

Behind him, Sizhui and Zizhen stepped forward, bowing their thanks.

“Would it be too much trouble to ask the Jiang healers to look everyone over as well?” Jin Ling asked, “We’ve just come from a night hunt that went rather poorly.”

Behind him, he hears an indignant splutter. But because he’s a competent Sect Leader, he elects to ignore it.

“Oh dear,” Lei Xiaosi says, “Of course, Jin-Zongzhu. If you’ll just follow me?”

His entourage is shown to where his Uncle usually keeps them whenever Jin Ling visits, close enough to be near their Sect Leader but “far enough to be out of the way”. Jin Ling was pretty sure that if he could keep them all in the inns in town he would.

His friends are shown to the infirmary, Jingyi blowing him a parting raspberry before following after an exasperated Sizhui. Zizhen snickers at the exchange, waving goodbye and laughing.

Jin Ling ends up in his usual rooms, where he bathes and changes into clean robes before venturing out to get an idea of how busy his Uncle really is. He doesn’t see any outsiders besides the people he brought with him hanging around. If it were another Sect come to visit (or complain), he was sure he’d see someone hanging around. All he sees are Jiang Sect disciples though, all of whom are treading rather carefully as if they expect to be yelled at any second now.

Jin Ling feels a small pit beginning to open up in his gut.

He finds his friends mingling in the courtyard, Senior Wen standing just off to the side. They’re wearing fresh bandages, and he’s fairly certain the patches of shine on their skin are from the healing salves. Fairy immediately made her way closer, sniffing at his friends and pawing at their legs, hoping that if they bent down she could lick at the goo on their skin.

“Well if it isn’t the Young Mistress.” Jingyi grumbles, turning away. 

“Jingyi, don’t start,” Sizhui sighs, turning to Jin Ling, “Did you get looked at?”

“Not yet.” Jin Ling admits.

“Because he doesn’t have to!” Jingyi snaps, gently batting Fairy away, “I took most of the hits for him!”

“You took those hits for yourself, I don’t owe you anything!” Jin Ling snaps, voice rising.

“Jin Ling, please.” Sizhui says, trying to mediate.

“It’s alright Sizhui, he can’t afford to lose face and admit it,” Jingyi sneers, “That’s his problem, not yours.”

“Guys…” Zizhen swallows, “Can we not fight?”

“Can her Highness admit she’s wrong?” Jingyi asked angrily, “Can he go five minutes without trying to blame me for everything? I’m sorry I even bothered!”

“I’m not wrong! You were treating it like a game and playing around! You drew those extra corpses right towards me!”

Fairy began to bark, adding her two cents to the matter.

“I did not! Maybe I should have let them eat you, then you would realize that you needed help!”

“Guys!” Sizhui hissed, looking around as Fairy continued to paw and yip, “This isn’t the time or place to be doing this!”

“Remember for next time then!” Jin Ling continued on savagely, not caring for anything other than his anger in that moment, “I don’t need your help and I never will need your help, you’re too stupidly incompetent to be of any use to anyone anyway!”

The four of them stood there, letting Jin Ling’s words sink in. They often called each other names or simple, light-hearted insults. It was how they, mainly Jingyi and Jin Ling, communicated. But this time there had been enough heat and anger behind the words that it left no room to wonder if Jin Ling didn’t mean them to be anything other than a cutting insult. The tension had been snapped like a thread, a line crossed, and now the four were stuck looking at one another in its aftermath.

Jingyi at first looked as if someone had punched him in the gut and his eyes grew misty, but then his face schooled itself into something akin to Hanguang-jun’s natural expression and he took a step back to properly bring his hands up and together. He bowed slightly, eyes trained hard on the ground.

“This one apologises for his stupidity and uselessness, Sect Leader Jin, he will do better to remember his place on the battlefield next time.”

And then he turned and walked away, his pace picking up the farther he got.

“Jingyi!” Sizhui called as he chased after, turning to shoot Jin Ling the darkest glare he’d ever seen from him.

Zizhen stood, frozen in place for a moment before he adopted a rather mournful expression and began to walk in the direction of his friends. He only paused to look at Jin Ling rather pitifully, clearly wanting to say something but unsure as to whether he should.

“Spit it out.” Jin Ling snapped, not looking at him, “Don’t just look at me like that.”

“Jingyi is a good friend, whether or not he was showing off, he did want to protect you. Just remember that.” And then Zizhen left him too, followed by the traitor Fairy who continued to yip after them.

Jin Ling was left utterly alone.

Jin Ling swallowed, feeling his hands shake as he turned and stormed back in the direction of his rooms. He didn’t know when Senior Wen had disappeared but he was glad not to receive another sad, maybe reproachful stare as he went. A few of the Jiang disciples who’d had the misfortune to be nearby were already moving out of the way, the tension they’d been carrying with them keeping them on their toes.

Why were they so tense? They didn’t usually act like this.

Angry and not sure what else to do, searching for any distraction he could think of, Jin Ling pivoted his steps and instead went in search of his Uncle. Either he was the cause for the initial unease around here, or he would know what was.

And then afterwards, Jin Ling could tell him about the night hunt. His Uncle would tell him he was right and that Jingyi was being stupid.

Sword’s Hall was empty, as was the ancestral hall, and the training grounds were filled with only drilling disciples. He checked the infirmary and only found injured cultivators, the ones wearing Lan robes in particular making something ugly twist in Jin Ling’s chest.

Finally he ran across Lei Xiaosi, the man bowing as he approached.

“Where is my Uncle?” Jin Ling demanded, and then forced himself to breathe when he realized the demand came out a little too forceful.

“Apologies Young Master Jin,” The Lei Xiaosi said, and it was only now Jin Ling realized he looked rather harried, “But in actuality, Sect Leader Jiang is feeling rather unwell today. He’s currently resting in his rooms.”

“Is he contagious?” Jin Ling asked.

“Well, no,” Lei Xiaosi said slowly, “But he is very tired. I would advise Young Master Jin to let him rest today.”

“I need to see him.” Jin Ling snapped, turning to go.

“Young Master Jin!” Lei Xiaosi called, and when Jin Ling turned to snap something else at him, he flinched and simply said, “Please be gentle when you see him.”

Gentle? Since when would Jin Ling need to be gentle?

Then that pit in his gut widens as he remembers various days in his childhood when he’d been told his Uncle was unwell for the day. They would have been preceded by a day or two of dark shadows under his Uncle’s eyes and half-hearted snaps and shouts during training. Once, Jin Ling had ventured a little too close to his Uncle’s rooms and sworn he heard sniffling. When he’d asked one of the nursemaids about it later she’d just told him his Uncle was worn out and not to worry about it. Everyone had always told him not to worry about it, and so he never had… but that didn’t mean he never noticed.

Jin Ling, feeling like cold water had been dumped on him, folded his hands together to bow respectfully to Lei Xiaosi.

This time he was worried about it.

“I promise I will be as gentle as possible.” He said, his anger temporarily extinguished by trepidation.

Lei Xiaosi actually smiled at that, waving him on.

Jin Ling’s steps were less rushed as he made his way towards his Uncle’s quarters. He still tried to move quickly, just not in a way that would mean he was thundering around Lotus Pier.

Which turned out to be a good thing, because entering his Uncle’s bedroom was like entering a tomb. It was dark, the heavy curtains drawn, and quiet. He could make out his Uncle laying on the bed, covers pulled up high and his hair splayed out behind him. Jin Ling couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not, his back to him.

Jin Ling made himself comfortable on the floor by the bed, choosing to wait until his Uncle realized he was there.

Sitting there relatively alone and in the dark, he couldn’t help but play the argument over in his mind. 

Shame washed over him, ugly and black and cloying. It sat uncomfortably in his chest and his throat, choking him with the guilt of what he’d said. He could still see the looks on everyone’s faces afterwards, full of pity or reproach. Pity for him and his anger, how it pushed everyone away because he was just a child throwing a tantrum. Just like when he was little in Koi Tower, unable to get his way and not willing to live with that. Jin Ling had often lashed out at his teachers or Uncle Yao when they told him no. His teachers would just report his behavior to Uncle Yao, who would always smile but in a disappointed, pitiful way. That would just make Jin Ling lash out even harder, angry to be made to feel so foolish and small. He’d lashed out like that today, seeking to cut Jingyi to the core, and he’d succeeded.

Jingyi’s expression especially was what bothered him. The guilt stabbed at him in the stomach, clawing out his chest and seizing up his heart. He’d seen Jingyi cry before, but he’d never been the reason for him to do so. He’d never seen his friend (could he even call him a friend now?) look so hurt. It looked so wrong, and Jin Ling had been the cause.

What kind of a Sect Leader was he, that he could do that to someone so close to him?

A terrible Sect Leader, no better than Sect Leader Yao probably. Sect Leader Yao at least never made people cry as far as Jin Ling knew, not right there seconds after he opened his stupid mouth.

Jin Ling was worse than Sect Leader Yao, and wasn’t that just lovely?

“A-Ling?”

Jin Ling looked up from his lap to see his Uncle had turned over and was now squinting at him in the darkness.

Jin Ling ducked his head, swallowing at the lump in his throat, “J-Jiujiu…”

“What are you doing here?” His Uncle asked, sounding absolutely exhausted. Jin Ling was struck with the realization that he shouldn’t be here. His Uncle really wasn’t well, and Jin Ling, like a child, was still asking to be taken care of.

At Jin Ling’s hesitance, his Uncle simply sighed instead of snapping at him like he was supposed to. He sat up, waving Jin Ling closer so he could lean down and take the boy’s head into his hands.

His Uncle smoothed his hair back, reaching up to remove his hairpiece and undo the topknot. He massaged at Jin Ling’s scalp, watching him struggle not to cry.

“What’s wrong?” He asked tiredly, turning Jin Ling’s head up so their gazes would meet. Jin Ling observed his Uncle’s eyes looked rather dull.

They looked dead.

Jin Ling swallowed a final time, still struggling to breathe past the anger and the guilt, and he found his vision going watery.

“I… I wasn’t a very good person.” He finally said, and felt the proverbial damn inside him burst. He sniffled, reaching up to wipe furiously at the fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

“A-Ling…” His Uncle sighed, reaching down to pull at Jin Ling’s arms until the boy joined him in the bed. He lay the both of them down, tucking Jin Ling’s head under his chin and simply holding him. Jin Ling cried, loudly and unrestrained because that was all he could do. It was all he could do as the child he was, the stupid and useless child that drove everyone away with his temper!

His Uncle was muttering into his hair, running his hands up and down his back.

“Shh, there there…”

“J-Jiujiu… Jiujiu what do I do? Why do I always hurt people?” Jin Ling heard himself hysterically crying, “What’s wr-wrong with m-me? How c-can I f-face Jing-Jingyi or… or anyone a-after this?”

“Calm down A-Ling, you’ll make yourself sick.” There was no bite in his Uncle’s words, everything sounded like a suggestion not an order. His Uncle was too tired for orders, and it was wrong! It was all wrong!

“And… and they told m-me you weren’t feeling well,” Jin Ling continued, “They told me, and I knew… I knew you didn’t want to b-be disturbed but I didn’t… I didn’t know where else t-to go! They all h-hate me now! I hate me n-now!”

His Uncle’s grip tightened around him. Jin Ling’s face ended up in his Uncle’s chest, silencing him.

“I would want to be disturbed for my nephew,” His Uncle whispered, reaching up to grip the back of Jin Ling’s neck, “I will never not want to be there for you, A-Ling.”

Jin Ling did his best to swallow down the remainder of his tears, the grip around him lessening so he could pull back enough to gulp air. His Uncle rubbed at his face, drying his cheeks with his sleeves. He smiled brokenly, pressing a kiss to Jin Ling’s forehead.

“Now, tell me what happened.” His Uncle instructed.

“It was at the night hunt,” Jin Ling muttered, voice hoarse from crying, “There were more than we anticipated. I was fending off a group of them and suddenly Jingyi came out of nowhere. But then there were even more and Sizhui got pulled into it with us, and… and I was angry and I blamed it all on Jingyi. I told him it was his fault people got as injured as they did… I called him stupid and useless! Jiujiu the look on his face… I really hurt him! I was just so angry I forgot myself…”

“Oh, A-Ling,” His Uncle sighed and that seemed to be the trigger to spur fresh tears from Jin Ling’s eyes.

“They all walked away from me! Even Fairy left me! And I don’t blame them!” Jin Ling fought to draw a ragged breath, “I don’t know how I can face them after that.”

“By telling them you’re sorry.”

“But how?”

“By saying ‘sorry’.” His Uncle wiped at the fresh tears, “By telling Jingyi you were wrong to lash out at him. Let him see how sorry you are, like you’re letting me see. Is your pride and your anger worth more than your friendship?”

“No…” Jin Ling hadn’t ever gotten friends with his pride. He’d gotten followers, and they were quick to disappear when he needed them.

“Then you will make reparations for what you did.” His Uncle said, tucking Jin Ling as close as possible to himself again, resting his chin in his nephew’s hair “You don’t want to get to my age and realize you’re alone in the world because you couldn’t control your emotions.”

Jin Ling swallowed, the anger and shame towards himself lessened by his Uncle. The quiet around them made it hard to hold onto the hectic, frenzied panic of his wrongdoings. He felt like the world had slowed while he was in his Uncle’s arms, that he had time to find Jingyi and properly apologize. He had enough time for anything, and it would all be waiting for him.

They lay there in the semi-darkness, the barest scraps of light filtering through the thick curtains. Jin Ling had no clue what time it could be right now, and at the moment he figured it didn’t really matter. His Uncle would protect him, even from time. Jin Ling burrowed closer, trying to hide from his lingering worries. His Uncle simply continued to hold him, occasionally running a hand through his hair and breathing languidly.

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling eventually whispered, wondering if his Uncle had fallen asleep until he received a grunt in reply, “Why did Lei Xiaosi tell me you were unwell? Are you really sick?”

His Uncle didn’t reply right away, instead wrapping a lock of Jin Ling’s hair around his finger a few times. Then he swallowed, his neck muscles pushing at Jin Ling’s forehead.

“No,” His Uncle whispered, “Just very tired.”

“Why?” Jin Ling couldn’t help but ask.

“I don’t know…” His Uncle replied, “I think I simply ran out of energy. I’ll be better tomorrow.”

“Was it from working too hard?” Jin Ling wondered, looking up into his Uncle’s face. It looked more aged than he remembered it being the last time he saw it, more drawn. It didn’t help his hair was down and lying limply around him, like if he were ill and on his sickbed. Or that there was such poor lighting exacerbating the shadows around his face.

His Uncle shrugged, “That might be part of it.”

“What else could it be?” Jin Ling pressed, then blanched because he knew too many questions would just serve to annoy his Uncle. He usually pestered until he got snapped at, but right now didn’t seem like the time to push until he was stopped.

His Uncle sighed, giving Jin Ling another broken smile and turned to lay on his back. Jin Ling moved to rest his head on his Uncle’s chest, listening to his heart beat. It was steady, which helped ease some of the worry.

“I’ve done a lot in my time A-Ling,” His Uncle eventually said, “I’ve lived through a lot, and seen a lot too. After a while you just get tired from it all.”

His Uncle sounded like an old man complaining that he’d lived too long.

“I don’t understand.” Jin Ling muttered.

His Uncle smirked, reaching to tug at Jin Ling’s ear like he was scolding him.

“Then don’t be stupid and apologize to your friends.”

“But what does that have to do with being tired?”

“Ah, you didn’t listen at all, did you?” His Uncle groaned.

“You’re not making sense, Jiujiu!” Jin Ling complained, rubbing at his ear.

“I don’t have to make sense, I’m tired.”

“Jiujiu!”

“Fine, fine,” His Uncle snorted, “Listen closely this time, when you get to where I am in life make sure you have friends to share your burdens. Don’t scare them away with that temper you inherited from me or that mouth you picked up after being spoiled rotten by Jin Guangyao… Ah, but that’s a lot to ask isn’t it?” His Uncle sighed sadly, “You got the worst of both bloodlines and now I’m asking you to make the best of it. How sad…”

“Haven’t I already scared them away?” Jin Ling wondered miserably.

“They came back after you stabbed their precious Wei Wuxian, they’ll come back if you apologise.” His Uncle said, “Most things come back to those who deserve them, nephew, and you deserve your friends. Whether that’s a blessing or a curse though…”

“Jiujiu!”

His Uncle chuckled, the sound small and weak but still much brighter than anything he’d said so far.

“I do mean it though, A-Ling,” His Uncle said softly, “You’ve needed real friends for a long time. Not yes-men and lackeys like you had before, people who only care about your birth status. I hate to admit it but Hanguang-jun managed to raise a decent son, and that Ouyang boy may be a bit too fanciful at times but he has a good heart. Even Lan Jingyi, he reminds me of Wei Wuxian when we were your age. You need them; you deserve them.”

Jin Ling worked past the lump reforming in his throat, “But do they deserve me after what I did? What if I end up just like Jin Chan?”

“No one can end up like Jin Chan, you have to be born like that,” His Uncle said, his lip curling in disgust, “Your friends deserve you too A-Ling. Even if you snap at them. The four of you need each other.”

“How do you know that?” Jin Ling argued, the uncertainty winning out.

“Because look at how much happier the four of you are together.” His Uncle said, tone so matter of fact Jin Ling couldn’t find any reason to question it.

They fell back into silence again, both staring into the darkness as Jin Ling lay there and listened to his Uncle’s heart beat. He was pretty sure his hair was absolutely tangled with how much it had been played with, he’d have to fight to fix it later.

At some point Jin Ling fell asleep.

When he awoke the room was still dark, the light straining to sneak past the curtains. His Uncle breathed heavily beside him, still asleep.

There was a snuffling below them and he realized someone had let Fairy in and she was waiting at the bedside. Jin Ling turned as carefully as he could, trying to not wake his Uncle. He reached down, feeling soft fur brush his fingers.

“So you return after all, huh?” Jin Ling hissed in admonishment, “Did you lick everyone clean or did they finally bat you away enough times? Little traitor…”

Fairy whined quietly.

Jin Ling felt his ire die, the cold and familiar feeling of guilt returning.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered sadly, reaching down to scratch under Fairy’s neck, “Can you at least forgive me?”

Fairy gave Jin Ling’s palm a lick in answer, nuzzling into his arm. Then the dog heaved it’s forepaws up onto the bed, sniffing at the air just above Jin Ling’s hip. Fairy gave a quiet whine as Jin Ling pet his head.

Then the dog jumped the rest of the way up and Jin Ling tried to quell his spluttering as Fairy began to nose at his Uncle.

“Fairy, no!” Jin Ling hissed, “Stop it!”

“Well that’s one way to wake up…” His Uncle muttered, voice thick with sleep. Fairy whined again, leaning her head up to swipe at his Uncle’s face with her tongue. He merely began to fondle the fur on her head and the two shared a yawn.

“If Fairy’s back, that means they probably are too.” Jin Ling muttered.

“Are you ready to face them?” His Uncle asked.

If Jin Ling were being honest with himself, the answer would have to be no. The thought terrified him, having to stare into the faces of friends who were angry with him. Or worse, disappointed in him.

But if he didn’t, what then? Find new friends? Was that even an option for someone like him?

His Uncle tapped at Jin Ling’s forehead, “Stop thinking. The sooner you face them, the sooner you can feel better. Unless you want to live embittered and sad all your life? It’s not fun, I can promise you that.”

Jin Ling frowned, sitting up to look as best he could at his Uncle. The shifted dregs of light allowed him a new glimpse of a very morose expression on a pallid face, eyes dull as they focussed on his dog. Fairy made herself comfortable across his chest, resting her head over his heart and his Uncle tightened his grip.

“Jiujiu… why are you talking like that?”

“Like what?” And there was a snap to his voice now, something so familiar that Jin Ling nearly began to question himself about the rest.

But the heat in his Uncle’s expression flickered out almost immediately and Jin Ling was forced to continue.

“How can you promise what a lifetime of sadness feels like? Why are you so tired? Simply living shouldn’t tire a person out this way.”

“A-Ling, it’s not for you to worry about.” His Uncle said, turning his head away.

“Jiujiu, please…” Jin Ling pleaded, “Why are you sad?”

His Uncle remained quiet, the only sound between them the huffing of Fairy’s breathing. It continued on so long, Jin Ling worried he wouldn’t receive an answer, or worse he might be thrown out. But then his Uncle swallowed and opened his mouth.

“You know my story A-Ling, at least, the parts that matter,” His Uncle said, and his voice was thick with emotion, “You know my temper and my reputation. You know my standing with Wei Wuxian. These things… these things are not easy burdens to carry. The weight of leadership can be difficult, and I wish you’d had more time to adjust to it. I wish you had a mother and a father to teach you better than I ever could. These are also burdens for me. Everything, all of it, it’s a weight around my neck and there are times I have to pause and let that weight rest or else it will overwhelm me. There are so many things I have to worry about, I can’t afford to be distracted by my own pain. At least until it becomes too much.”

“Jiujiu…” Jin Ling whispered, feeling his mouth go dry.

His Uncle finally turned, reaching up to press a palm to Jin Ling’s cheek.

“Make no mistake A-Ling, I will be fine. But for now I just need to rest.” It seemed to take a lot of effort, but his Uncle heaved himself into a sitting position, dislodging Fairy who grunted in discontent, “And you need to apologize to Jingyi.”

Jin Ling bit his lip, unsure.

“But… what about you?” He asked timidly. This sad, morose side to his Uncle was a side he was quickly realizing he didn’t like. And the thought of leaving him here, sitting alone sad and in the dark made Jin Ling’s stomach knot.

If his Uncle really was fine, he’d huff and tell Jin Ling he didn’t need his nephew playing caretaker. He’d tell Jin Ling to get on with what he was supposed to be doing. He was supposed to find a reason to threaten breaking his legs.

Instead, his Uncle merely smiled sadly, pulling Jin Ling in for a hug.

“I’ll be fine,” He insisted again, “I feel much better already. Thank you A-Ling.”

“For what?”

“For staying.”

“Jiujiu…” Jin Ling whispered, and he felt his throat closing and his eyes growing watery again, but for once it wasn’t for himself. He returned his Uncle’s embrace, squeezing as hard as he could.

His Uncle pressed a kiss to Jin Ling’s forehead and took his face between his hands.

“Now,” His Uncle said, smiling though Jin Ling could tell it was forced, “Go apologize already, or I’ll break your legs.”

Taken by complete surprise, Jin Ling barked out a laugh and wiped at his face. His Uncle pushed at him until he stood, watching until Jin Ling neared the door.

“And tomorrow, I want a more official report on how things went.” His Uncle said, the open door bathing him in the light of the afternoon sun.

“Yes, Jiujiu.” Jin Ling said before raising an authoritative hand, “Fairy, stay there.”

The dog hadn’t moved much beyond resettling herself across his Uncle’s lap, but the gesture wasn’t missed as his Uncle smiled a bit more sincerely as he watched him go.

Walking further and further from his Uncle’s rooms, Jin Ling’s anxieties began to return. Slowly seeping in where the comfort and warmth had been. His steps began to falter ever so slightly. At one point near the guest quarters he even stopped, biting at his lip as the thought came to him that this was a bad idea. What was he supposed to say? How was he even going to say it without messing it up?

Stop thinking, his Uncle had said.

Running footsteps thundered from around the corner, and all of a sudden there they were, all three of them. Everyone stood staring at each other, uncertainty trapping them where they stood.

Stop thinking, his Uncle said.

So Jin Ling instead stepped forward and bowed as deeply as he could, opening his mouth to say, “I’m sorry.”

No one moved, seconds passed… then maybe a minute or an hour, Jin Ling couldn’t decide how time worked anymore.

Then Jingyi was crashing into him, crying and hugging him tightly.

“I’m sorry t-too!” He sobbed as Jin Ling squawked, “Let’s not fight anymore, okay?”

He still smelled like the healing salves, which burned Jin Ling’s nose this close. Nevertheless, he returned the embrace as his own tears threatened to resurface.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Jin Ling continued, “I don’t think you’re useless or stupid… most of the time.”

“Don’t ruin the moment.” Jingyi sniffled, releasing Jin Ling and wiping at his face. He was smiling though, so Jin Ling figured he hadn’t quite ruined anything just yet.

From behind them, Zizhen clapped his hands together, “Thank goodness that’s over, I wasn’t sure how we were going to ask you to get dinner with us.”

“It’s dinner time?” Jin Ling frowned, then he felt a rush of warmth in his chest.

They still wanted to get dinner with him. They still wanted him.

“Yeah, where have you been?” Jingyi chuckled, slinging an arm over his shoulder, “Actually, did you just wake up or something? You look like it.”

“I may have fallen asleep…”

“We did too,” Sizhui smiled, “Out near the docks.”

“So we all just needed a nap?” Zizhen laughed.

“After that disaster of a night hunt? Absolutely!” Jingyi cried, turning to Jin Ling to say, “I overheard other disciples complaining, apparently we weren’t the only ones who nearly got our butts handed to us. There was way more evil in that area than originally reported and not nearly enough people showed up to deal with it. They might even have to call for another night hunt.”

Jin Ling nodded quietly, unsure how to broach the topic in a way that wouldn’t reignite their argument.

“And I may have tried to show off a little…” Jingyi muttered, so quickly Jin Ling nearly missed what he said.

“I still should have thanked you for the save.” Jin Ling muttered, contrite, “And I would appreciate one in the future.”

“Let’s just blame it all on a bad night hunt, alright?” Zizhen suggested, “What matters is no one actually hates each other. And also Jin Ling is willing to buy us dinner.”

Jin Ling spluttered, “Why?! There’s food here!”

“Because that’s how you make reparations to Jingyi! Buy us food!” Zizhen insisted, ‘Your Uncle is still busy right? Let’s let him work and go out!”

“You just want to spend my money.” Jin Ling grumbled.

“At the moment, yes.” Sizhui laughed, “We’re too hungry to think about anything else!”

“But first fix your hair!” Jingyi cried, running his own fingers through it to try and tame the mess.

The guilt and pain running through his veins extinguished, Jin Ling promptly threatened to hit him and the four of them laughed.

Chapter 2

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

I've always seen stories portraying Zhuilingyi with LJY as the one to join SZ/JL, which is good and all, gimme all that LJY angst - but consider: LSZ and LJY are childhood friends and get together probably before canon starts, and JL is the awkward third wheel who starts falling for them and reacts very badly when he figures it out.LJY screams at him for being a prissy princess and not telling them how he feels and then kisses him and LSZ's just. Smiling at both of them and blushing like crazy.

sorry it took me so long to reply, but your ask changed my life and i had to write something about this moment, because you’re absolutely right -we need more flustered!jl in this universe.

just, i thought it’d be shorter, but honestly i couldn’t limit myself into commenting your idea and nothing more. FORGIVE THIS FOOLISH MASTER!

“Formation!”

Lan JingYi nods swiftly, all previous chattiness gone from his demeanour. He follows Lan SiZhui with practiced steps, dancing lethally but gracefully around their prey. He seems as elegant as the other, a quality one would not think JingYi capable of -which is just stupid, he is a Lan, after all, they are born like that.

Jin Ling’s heart thunders in his chest. He grips the handle of his sword, grits his teeth, but he doesn’t close his eyes.

They stay wide open, and take everything in -the resentful energy leaving the corpses under the array created by SiZhui and JingYi’s combined strength, they perfect coordination, pure white robe swaying in the night wind and blades flashing sleek and crystal clear as entities of their own.

The corpses stop moving, falling on the ground, and the two Lan disciples halt, breathes not even heavy, energy quivering excitedly around them and on their faces.

SiZhui’s ponytail winds up on his left shoulder, forehead ribbon fluttering for a moment. The boy’s relief gentles his facial features, but the residual rush from the battle still lingers on his contracted arms, straight back, drawn sword, vigilant and focused eyes.

He throws a side glance at the other side of the formation, nodding in silent acknowledgement at his childhood friend.

JingYi’s mouth opens in a wide grin, the smooth skin at the corners and on his cheekbones wrinkling in a joyful expression, forelock swinging and trying futilely to cover the twinkling in his irises. He seems on the verge of saying something -stops when SiZhui tosses something. JingYi catches it swiftly, laughing at the sight of a juicy looking loquat -Wei WuXian must have rubbed it off on him in the long run. Things like how did you know I was hungry? and As if I still need to ask you hover between them, needless to voice out loud.

Then, SiZhui turns and walks toward him, smiling tenderly at Jin Ling. So they know I’m still here he huffs, eyeing warily the loquat he is being offered.

Lan SiZhui, “You should eat, Young Master Jin. It is important to retain one’s strength until the very end.”

Jin Ling knows, he is not stupid, nor does he need all this curtesy and big words and long sentences every time he is being addressed by either of them.

He hesitates, sheathes away his sword, falters toward SiZhui. Hears JingYi giggles at his clumsiness and blushes angrily at the patient gleam in the boy’s gaze when he reaches out at snatches the loquat, being careful not to touch his hand.

A second passes, then two. SiZhui lowers his arm and presses his lips tight.

“Let’s keep going and be careful, we are almost home” he advices, and goes back to JingYi’s side. The boy, though, keeps his gaze on Jin Ling’s grumpy expression, a tactful glance from SiZhui warning him from saying anything rude or too nosey. He rolls his eyes and looks over at the Lanling Young Master -Jin Ling notices.

“What?” he bursts out, all his muscles tensing and quaking in shame under their bewildered expressions.

“I didn’t even say anything!” JingYi protests before SiZhui can hold him back.

Jin Ling, “Then why were you looking at me like that?”

Lan JingYi, “Like that? Like what?!”

“JingYi…” SiZhui admonishes, putting a hand on his shoulder. JingYi relaxes slightly, but a frown still mars his features.

Jin Ling clenches his fists and diverts his gaze elsewhere, walking forward and moving past the two of them, slowly abandoning their hunting field.

He hears JingYi complain about something, but his whining is cut short -probably thanks to SiZhui. Jin Ling bites his lips until the physical pain he feels is stronger than the black hole in his stomach and the confusion in his mind -until it is louder than the worried whispers behind his back and the shuddering questions burning into his veins.

—

JingYi is staring at him.

He tries to not react, to make it seem as if he has not noticed yet -though how can he, when he is sitting exactly in front of him, back at him, JingYi’s gaze piercing it as if he was attempting to set Jin Ling’s robe aflame.

Lan WangJi has probably noticed as well and decided to not say anything, to just keep going with his lesson. As long as no one interrupts him or distracts the other disciples, there was no true need to assign punishment.

Jin Ling knows he has to endure it.

He also knows he has no explanation to give him.

It’s not like he is not aware that he is behaving strangely -it feels stupid in his eyes, too. The truth is, every little thing the Lan boys do irritates him.

How they don’t need to talk to understand each other, and appear to use common speech only when they want to relate something to him. How perfectly they fit one other while night-hunting -how beautiful they are while doing so, Jin Ling bitterly adds.

He has always noticed these little things but then, then they had to invite him to Cloud Recesses to study with him for a bit and his uncle had to accept their offer, because do you have a good enough reason to refuse the Lan’s kind offer, Jin Ling?

As a matter of fact, he does not -and that’s what makes thing worse. How can he explain to his uncle something he can’t fully grasp himself?

And then he had to see them silently sneak away after dinner the first day, JingYi holding SiZhui’s hand tightly and the other smirking at him while they made their way between the trees, in a more secluded area.

He didn’t know what possessed him to follow them -what made him keep quiet when he saw them whispering with such comfort, smile with such confidence, kiss with such ease it was clearly not the first time for them.

Jin Ling felt quite flustered and confused -but more than that, he had no explanation for how strongly he had reacted to that. The way his chest had tightened slightly, something similar to envy weighing down on him, similar but not identical -he knows it wasn’t simple like that, he was accustomed to envy and could easily recognise it, though not accept it. The way he had been unable to tear his gaze away, shamefully following the path drawn by SiZhui’s fingers on JingYi’s side when he gently coddled him against a tree, the boy softly moaning his name and smiling lovely while his neck got peppered his little kisses.

The way his body had responded to that -and how he fled the scene so quickly, he got reprimanded with a no running in Cloud Recesses by a laughing Wei WuXian, among all.

Accepting to go night-hunting with them weeks later had been more a flustered mistake than a heartfelt agreement. He had bitterly watched them triumph as the perfect team over and over again, too focused on chasing that strange envy away to register how little he had participated -and how that had baffled the Lan boys.

Jin Ling keeps his eyes on Lan WangJi and tries to ignore everything else, but he cannot run from his own thoughts and feelings much longer.

—

“Release me!”

“Not gonna happen”

“JingYi, maybe you should consider-”

“I won’t consider a damn thing! I’ve had enough!”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Release me this instant-”

“There” JingYi says, with a note of finality in his voice, and Jin Ling stumbles backward, back hitting a rock wall. He is breathing hard, not from actual exertion but rage and dread, sweaty hands clamping behind him.

“Are you insane-” he starts, but the other stops him almost immediately.

“Shut up, whiny mistress! You either are like this or ignore us, I’m going insane!”

“JingYi, we won’t resolve a thing like this!” SiZhi tries to interfere, planting himself between the two. Jin Ling can’t see his face, but JingYi puffs his cheeks and lowers his eyelids, diverting his gaze. Turns it back on them a moment later, arms tensing on his sides.

“We have handled this as you wanted and it didn’t work, now we are gonna do it my way” he retorts, eyes burning in determination.

SiZhui sighs, bites his lip, shakes his head and looks down.

“Alright” he complies. His eyes focus on Jin Ling and the boy feels like he should take a step back -he can’t, the rock wall threateningly solid against his back.

He swallows, unable to old their gaze.

Jin Ling, “What’s wrong with you two? Why did you bring me here?!”

“Young Master-”

(Jin Ling starts clenching his fists at the formality in his tone)

Lan JingYi, “You’ve been avoiding us, don’t deny it!”

The Lanling boy lifts his chin, irises jumping between the two Lan disciples.

Jin Ling, “What are you talking about?! Did you eat too much bland congee and it finally went to your head?!” he says, the frenetic rhythm of his heartbeat making him all the more flustered. Why are they looking at me like that?

Lan SiZhui elbows JingYi on his side, receiving a dirty look. The boy ignores him, taking a deep breath.

“Jin Ling” he calls, clear and light and warm, before moving a bit and taking his hand.

Jin Ling’s eyes widen, his heart trembling in his chest and the rest of him going dead still. His lips part, but nothing comes out, and he grips his robe with his free fingers.

“I’m sorry if we scared you. We just… we wanted to know if we did something wrong, because it really feels like you’ve been avoiding us” he murmurs, trying to keep his tone reassuring and diplomatic -not suspecting how that gentleness and his closeness is killing every ability of functioning like a normal human being Jin Ling owns.

He opens his mouth again, wanting nothing more than to deny it again and run away, but JingYi’s eyes are pleadingly and anxiously staring at him, and Sizhui’s fingers are still holding his.

He quivers.

Jin Ling, “Why do you care?”

Not another word.

Lan JingYi, “What does that mean? We are your friends-”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be your friend! I wouldn’t want to intrude between you two or anything!”

Don’t say it, it’ll make you look weird, you’ll be the strange one all over again and they won’t want to have you with them.

Lan SiZhui frowns, pulling him toward him by the hand, but Jin Ling notices the understanding flashing quickly in JingYi’s irises.

You’ll be cast aside again.

Lan SiZhui, “Why would you? We invited you here!”

Jin Ling, “So that I could work as a disguise, cover for you? Do you think I am an idiot?!”

Why can’t you be less strange?

Lan JingYi, “It makes no sense! You made your head think too much, we actually-”

Jin Ling flashes a ireful look at him.

“I don’t care! If you wanna kiss or whatever, do it when I’m not here!”

He clumps his mouth shut. Dread slowly fills his veins, closing his throat with a knot, and he suddenly feels dizzy from talking too much. And he did -he said too much.

He frees his hand from SiZhui’s grasp and moves, feeling ashamed, so ashamed, what he had told himself was envy melting away and revealing itself for what it actually is -longing, fierce and overwhelming, enough to justify the wetness in his eyes.

Jin Ling freezes and JingYi snaps, seizing his arm.

“Are you-”

“Jealous?” the Lanling boy interrupts, abruptly prying his arm away once more and turning to face them. “Of you two spending so much time together alone, thinking I’m not aware of your- your- whatever it is?! Yes, I am! It angers me so much and I don’t know why! I shouldn’t even care, it’s your business! Yet here I am, yelling at you because you keep being all polite to me and treating me like an outsider but- but-”

Jin Ling can’t bring himself to say the rest, a reason swiftly climbs back into his head -making him realise that he did, indeed, said all those things.

They are going to hate him, of course. How could anyone-

JingYi, “You are the most idiotic mistress I’ve ever met”

Jin Ling tries to counteract that -he is ready, the next insult hesitating on the tip of his tongue-

but JingYi cages his cheeks with his palms and brings him closer, not giving him time to think or even oppose him.

Kisses him with vicious intensity and burning determination, lips pulsing on Jin Ling’s, whose hands fly on his shoulder to fight back a fainting spell.

JingYi’s mouth is rough but slow, caring but raging, and he almost -almost lets himself go, shock dominating every fiber of his being-

-he pushes him away, and JingYi lets him be. Jin Ling’s eyes stops on Lan SiZhui, terrified of his reaction, but the older boy -cheeks aflame, lips parted, breathe eluding a natural rhythm- doesn’t show him what he feared. His irises are sparkling, wild with something that scares Jin Ling more than anger itself.

“Y-you- he-”

Jin Ling is confused, but JingYi’s arm wrapping around his waist, his signature grin on his face, and SiZhui moving toward them with shy but relieved steps, gives him the reassurance he didn’t know he needed.

“We both want you” JingYi whispers in his ears, and Jin Ling shivers and blushes desperately, outraged and on fire.

“So, if you want us both…” SiZhui tentatively tries, going for Jin Ling’s hand again.

He doesn’t let go -squeezes it with all the strength he could muster in that moment, which isn’t much, and gathers all the courage he owns to reach out for SiZhui nape and bring him closer, clumsily kissing him before he can think that’s a bad idea.

JingYi tightens his hold and SiZhui hugs him with his unoccupied arm, tilting his head up with his lips and nuzzling Jin Ling’s tenderly, then drawing back.

They all smile and Jin Ling can’t bear it anymore -he looks down, away, face burning and lungs constricting in a kind of pain he already loves, and they are still here, still keeping him close, no more walls made of formality or misunderstandings to divide them and no one to intrude or witness, for this moment is theirs and theirs only.

[thecrazyanimegirl]

I loved your modern mdzs scenario!! Could I request a flip of that where the female!reader wakes up in the mdzs world (in the timing of episode 1/2 or yi city) and Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, and Lan Jingyi develop a crush on her and are really protective of her? Thank you !!

We did the protective part, but the crush part is hard since they don’t really know her (but other people got crushed so that’s something? (⌐■_■))

My body hurts. I must have fallen asleep in a wrong position. Itry to stretch my legs, but something stops me. Suddenly, I realize that thefloating feeling that I usually get when I’m half asleep didn’t stop.

I jolt awake, fear starting to burn in my chest. I’m not in mybed anymore. The darkness that surrounds me is only disrupted by the golden netthat traps me.

Panicking, I struggle against my binds, but it’s futile. And theway it sways makes me afraid that I will fall down along with the net if thetree branch breaks.

What is going on? Have I been kidnapped?

I hear voices beneath me, arguing.

“Why are you following me?” a grumpy voice asks.

“We are not following you, we are just headed in the same direction”,other voice answers defiantly.

“There is no need to fight”, third voice is trying to stop them.

“Excuse me”, I called when they came into my eyesight. I had noother choice, I didn’t want to be stuck on a tree all day.

They immediately stop and look up at me. The three young menthat stare at me are quite beautiful, dressed in intricate clothing and their longhair swaying as they walk. But the weird clothing confuses me even more. Wheredid they come from?

“What?” They all exclaim looking at me.

Why are they so shocked? I look at myself trying to figure itout.

My pajamas are somewhat disheveled, but it isn’t anything toostrange. I mentally thank myself that I chose the plain ones rather than theones with small kittens drawn on it.

I decide not to dwell on it too much, I mean, they are dressedmuch more strangely than I am. “Excuse me, but where am I?” I ask utterlyconfused.

“You don’t know where you are?“ one asks frowning. He is like agrumpy cat…

“I wouldn’t ask if I knew…”

Second one laughs at that.

“Let’s first let you down”, third one smiles.

“Thank you”, I return smile, but then freeze when he unsheatheshis sword. “Wait, isn’t that dangerous?”

He doesn’t answer, only swings his sword and something breaks.Everything stands still for a moment, but in the next moment, I’m falling down.I don’t even manage to scream and I’m already on the floor, my ass hurting likehell.

“Owww… Couldn’t you be gentler?”

“I’m sorry, but there was no other way”, he smiles and helps meup.

“You shouldn’t have helped this weirdo anyway”, the first one scowls.“I have no time to waste on more crazy people.” He says and starts walking.

“Well, excuse me princess, but in my eyes you are the crazy oneand also, what kind of person doesn’t help someone who needs help? Howcoldhearted”, I cross my arms really mad.

When he hears me, he stops walking. He looks really angry. Ishould have held my mouth shut…but he made me mad!

The second one is laughing openly now. “Even she knows you’re aprincess.”

“Let’s just all calm down”, the third one says awkwardly.

“I am calm!” we both shout at the same time.

That kind of makes me laugh. This is so cliché.

“Why are you laughing now?” the first one is frowning again, butalso seems to be blushing lightly.

“It was kind of cute”, I say, trying to calm down.

“C-cute?” he looks like lightning struck him.

“Yeah, really cute”, I snicker and introduce myself. I can’tjust keep on calling them by numbers.

The third one, Lan Sizhui introduces everyone and explains that theyare hunting at the moment.

“Hunting?” I tilt my head. “Animals?”

“Of course not, you idiot. We are hunting for corpses andghosts”, Jin Ling looks at me like I said the weirdest thing ever.

“Ghosts? Corpses?” My head is mess. What is going on? There areno such thing as ghosts, right? Am I really going crazy?

“Yeah”, Lan Sizhui is looking at me worried. He must have seenmy face grow paler.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, what are you wearing?” Lan Jingyi asks me.

“Pajamas”, I say not thinking much about it.

“What?” all three look at me confused.

I give up. This is too much for me. If this is so confusing, howwill I ever explain to them how I ended up here, wherever here is. If I fakeamnesia, will that pass? It’s a classic, but if they are so surprised bypajamas, maybe it will work. Then I can think of something when I figure outwhat is happening.

“I think that is what they are called… you see, I’m not sure. Myhead is all fuzzy. I’m not sure what is real and what’s not. I have no memoryof anything here”, I technically say the truth.

All three exchange glances and return to staring at me.

Lan Sizhui is the first one to step forward. “Are you feelingall right? Maybe you hit your head. You did start looking a bit pale before.”

“I think I’m fine. But I’m still confused.”

Lan Sizhui and Jingyi look at each other. “We can’t leave heralone in the woods now”, Jingyi looks like he’s in deep thought.

“But it will be dangerous with us, as well”, Sizhui shakes hishead indecisively.

“Will you get a move on it already?” Jin Ling huffs and turnslike he’s about to leave. “If there’ll be anything dangerous, then we’ll justprotect her.”

He said the kind words so matter-of-factly with a hint of angerthat I almost burst out laughing. Is that his way of saying that he’ll keep mesafe?

Or is he just that sure in himself?

We end up walking around the woods searching for ghost orwhatever they are searching for.

“Never thought I would end up a ghostbuster”, I mutter tomyself.

“What?” Lan Sizhui, who is closest to me, asks.

“I’m just a bit overwhelmed”, I smile at him.

“Just take your time, I’m sure you will remember everythingsoon”, he returns the smile.

I wish.

“Look”, Lan Jingyi points at the cave.

There are a lot of people there. I wonder if something is goingon.

“You should wait here. We will go check it out”, Lan Sizhuitells me and they go in.

I shudder at the thought of being left alone, but the darknessof the cave looks even more terrifying so I stay put, hidden in the trees.

I watch their backs as they disappear deeper into the dark. Nowalone, a pang of fear crosses my chest. What is going on? How did I even comehere? Where is here even? I’ll have to find a way home.

As I continue to ponder about my situation, the ground trembles.A moment later, several figures dash out of the cave entrance. It’s them!Relief of seeing them dispersed as I saw what was following them. A huge figureraised tall above them, crashing everything and everyone in it’s path. A statue?

Should I be worried that Lady Liberty will attack me next?

Multiple arms stretch from its body. The sheer presence of themonster made me freeze with fear.

“Are you all right?” Lan Sizhui comes to me and continuestalking when he saw me nod. “Go deeper in the forest, keep away from the fightand you’ll be fine. We’ll take care of this.”

I nod again and go deeper in the forest. The creature stilldoesn’t seem to back down, but keeps attacking the people around it. I see JinLing dashing towards it. Lan Jingyi is also in the vicinity. Will they be allright?

Another person is pushed by the huge stone hand. This isterrible. Is there any way I can help?

Just as I think that, one of the people in the crowd steps awayand the huge hand races in his direction. Oh, no. At this rate, it’ll crushhim!

As I am the closest, I run up to him, pulling him by the sleeve,barely avoiding the hit. The gust of wind from the swing pushes me and the manon the floor. He tumbles a bit further from me.

But the attack doesn’t stop. Now the menacing arm is targetingme. I’m frozen with fear. Am I going to die? Like this, in a strange land, sofar from home, in my pajamas?

I close my eyes and prepare for impact. But it doesn’t come. Mybody is pulled away.

I open my eyes and find myself face to face with a very worriedLan Sizhui. “That was very reckless”, he stated, checking me head to toe,probably searching for injuries.

“Idiot”, Jin Ling runstowards us, with a big frown on his face. “What are you doing? Are you tryingto make me look bad?”

Make him look bad? What is he talking about? Wait, does he meanwhen he said he will keep me safe?

“You are actually really nice, aren’t you?” I smile widely.

“What?” he is blushing.

Lan Jingyi laughs while Sizhui looks a bit troubled.

“What is it?” I ask him.

“It’s still not over”, he looks at the giant statue.

He is right, I frown worried.

“Don’t worry, we will protect you”, Lan Jingyi smirks.

I believe him. I’m sure they will protect me.

“Go and get them!” I grin.

[royalnovels-blog]

EET Chapter 6

Chapter Six: The People of the Inner Palace “Zhen heard that Xian Junwang Fei’s constitution is weak. There are many Grand physicians in the palace. Zi Ling, remember to help Wang Fei’s body become better.” Qilong Emperor’s gaze swept across Hua Xi Wan as he spoke with the concern of an elder. “Zhen is still waiting to hold grand-nephews.” “Yes, subject-nephew will remember.” Yan Jin Qiu accepted. “Empress Dowager has been talking about you these days and must be waiting impatiently now. Zhen will not keep you any longer.” Qilong Emperor talked for a while longer with husband and wife, bestowed down some things, and then said for them to leave. Ma gonggong saw the two to the doors of the palace. Looking at the backs of the pair as they left, he sighed. He had just managed a glance and did not clearly see Xian Junwang Fei’s appearance, but he was at least sure the other was a beauty. She was not as the rumors said, a woman without beauty. Just as he turned and walked to the outside of Guang Yang Hall, Ma gonggong heard the sound of objects hitting the ground. He paused in his step and then hurried into the hall to see the Emperor sweep everything on the table to the ground. The Emperor was clearly extremely angry. The servants in the hall were all kneeling on the ground in terror. Ma gonggong instantly knelt down as well and said, “Emperor, please do not be angry.” “Do not be angry, how can zhen not be angry!” Qilong Emperor had not imagined that he had schemed for everything yet never planned for the fact that the daughter of Yi’an Marquis Fu was not a woman without beauty as in the rumors but instead a rare beauty. Even if Xian Junwang was not one to immerse himself in beauty, facing that kind of awesome beauty, he would put in a lot of effort. Then how could it cause a conflict between him and Yi’an Marquis Fu?! Thinking about how he had given such an assistant to Yan Jin Qiu with his own hands, Qilong Emperor who was skilled in scheming felt anger burn. Looking at the timid palace attendants in the hall, he found them exceptionally displeasing to the eye. “Take all of them out and bestow ten blows with the plank.” The palace attendants did not dare to beg for mercy. After being dragged out and given ten blows, they released a breath. At least they had kept their life. Even though Ma gonggong also received ten blows, the one carrying out the punishment knew that he was someone close with the Emperor. The Emperor had punished him now because of the Emperor’s terrible mood, but Ma gonggong was still going to be used heavily by the Emperor in the future. So while the planks were held up high and the sounds of impact were loud, in reality not much force was used. After the ten blows were finished, a junior eunuch came up to support Ma gonggong, and there were even those that came with tea and water. Ma gonggong’s behind was wounded, so he did not dare sit. The eunuch supported him as he leaned against the pillar and drank tea. After a bowl of tea went into his stomach, Ma gonggong finally caught his breath. He could not endure as much as those young eunuchs. After toiling for so many years in the palace, his body was weak and supported right now by good medicine. “All right, put more thought in when you are serving the Emperor.” Ma gonggong accepted the favor from these people that were trying to make a good impression and reminded tonelessly. He did not say anything else. Everyone present was a servant of the Emperor and extremely clever. They naturally heard that Ma gonggong was implying that the Emperor was not in a good mood and would not be in the near future. They were smart and did not inquire further. As they carefully saw Ma gonggong back to his residence, their hearts were in the air. In Fu Kang Palace, the Empress was keeping the Empress Dowager company and easing her boredom. Even though the mood was not very warm, it was not cold either. In these years, the Empress had adjusted to this kind of atmosphere and there wasn’t any awkwardness. The Empress Dowager was not the Emperor’s birth mother. In the past, the Emperor and Xian Wang had both been raised under the name of the Empress Dowager. After the Emperor ascended the throne, she had been honored as Mother-Empress Empress Dowager. The Empress Dowager rarely interfered with the inner palace and maintained the appearance of a benevolent mother and a filial son with the Emperor. These years, the Emperor could be said to be respectful of the Empress Dowager. “Reporting to Empress Dowager, Empress, Xian Junwang and Xian Junwang Fei have come to give their morning greetings.” Zhao mama who served the Empress Dowager came in with a face full of smiles and bowed towards the two females. “Will they be summoned?” Before the Empress could speak, the Empress Dowager said with a smile, “Quick, get them to come in. Aijia wants to see what my granddaughter looks like.” Sitting at the side, the Empress covered her mouth and laughed lightly. She also turned her head to look at the doorway. Of all the grandchildren, the Empress Dowager always preferred Xian Junwang. Even the Crown Prince could not rival Xian Junwang’s place in her heart. However, the Empress Dowager did not have much real power and Xian Junwang was also one that liked poetry and not matters of government, so she and the Emperor tolerated it. She also knew the rumors that Xian Junwang Fei was a female without beauty. However, looking at the Empress Dowager, it seemed she did not know any of the rumors outside the palace. Otherwise, she would not be so interested in meeting the wife of her grandson. The smile on the Empress’ mouth grew. Hearing the eunuch announce that Xian Junwang and Xian Junwang Fei had arrived, she moved her body slightly to the side to let her sitting posture look even more dignified. But a short time later, the smile on the Empress’ face became forced. The female following Xian Junwang had a flying immortal hairstyle, and an eye-catching gold buyao was inserted into one side of her hair that contrasted and caused that snowy-white skin to seem even softer. The flower dress seemed to be alive and made the wearer appear like a goddess coming to earth. Everyone only noticed her and could see nothing else. A female with this beauty… The Empress’ mind became slightly scattered. They all said that the Emperor’s inner palace was full of beauties, but compared to Xian Junwang Fei in front of her, the females in the palace were those with beauty but no presence, just common rouge and powder. The Empress only managed to recover after Xian Junwang took his wang fei and finished their greeting to the Empress Dowager. She looked at Xian Junwang Fei’s hand which was being held by the Empress Dowager who did not let go. She sighed inside. The Emperor had made a wrong step this time. But this was also good. It was better for this kind of beauty to enter the Xian Junwang Fu rather than into the inner palace. If this kind of woman became an imperial concubine, she, the Empress, might not be able to keep her status, not to mention the thoughts that the Crown Prince might have after seeing this beauty. That would become the shame of a thousand years. It would be hard to predict then where the throne would land. For women that were too beautiful, their existence was a kind of disaster. Otherwise, how could the phrase “a calamitous beauty” come about? It was hard to predict whether it was good fortune or a calamity that Xian Junwang had married such a woman. “Good, good, good.” The Empress Dowager examined Hua Xi Wan closely and said three “goods” in a row. Then she said to Yan Jin Qiu, “Aijia likes this wang fei of yours. In the future, you have to treat her well. If aijia learns that you hurt her, aijia will not have mercy on you.” Yan Jin Qiu bowed deeply and said, “Imperial Grandmother, rest your heart. Grandson will definitely treat Xi Wan well and not hurt her.” The Empress Dowager nodded in satisfaction. She then turned her head and pulled Hua Xi Wan to sit next to her. Patting Hua Xi Wan’s hand, the Empress Dowager said, “It has been many years since aijia has seen such a beautiful female. Your presence is extraordinary on its own.” Hua Xi Wan allowed the Empress Dowager to hold her hand with a smile. She said softly, “Junwang Ye treats this one well. Please, Imperial Grandmother, rest your heart.” The Empress Dowager seemed different than she had imagined. She had already prepared for the Empress Dowager to dislike her appearance. Now it seemed that she had overthought it. When the Empress Dowager heard this, the smile on her face grew. “Aijia feels happy seeing that you two have a good relationship.” After she finished talking, she bestowed down a pile of objects to Hua Xi Wan, including many things that could not be bought with money. Even though she knew that the Empress Dowager favored Xian Junwang, the Empress still felt slightly discomforted when she saw this. When the Crown Prince had married the Crown Princess, she had not seen the Empress Dowager react so warmly. There had been a large number of things that she had bestowed down, but how could those things compare to these things that the Empress Dowager collected? Regardless of how unhappy she was, the Empress did not show any of the emotion on her face. She repeated the Empress Dowager’s words and added two-tenths more to what she had planned on bestowing. “If it was not that Xian Junwang Fei was weak in health and never attended banquets in the palace, ben gong would have liked this beautiful miss a long time ago,” the Empress said in the time that the Empress Dowager was drinking tea. “Xian Junwang is fortunate to marry such a beauty.” “Subject-nephew accepts Empress’ good words.” Yan Jin Qiu bowed in the direction of Guang Yang Hall. “It is all due to the benevolence of the Holy One that subject-nephew is able to marry such a virtuous wife.” The Empress spoke of Hua Xi Wan’s beauty, but Yan Jin Qiu emphasized the word “virtuous.” He also used the Emperor to deflect the Empress so that she could not object. The Empress was a woman who had spent many years in the inner palace and naturally would not lose her composure over such words. She smiled, nodded her head, and said, “Emperor and ben gong are your elders and will naturally think for you. Ben gong had been worried that your wang fei has a weak constitution. Seeing her complexion today, ben gong’s worries are put to rest.” Yan Jin Qiu was a man and naturally would not engage with the Empress in verbal battle for long. He gave another word of thanks, then sat down at the side silently. At this perfect time, Hua Xi Wan spoke: “Nephew-wife accidentally had a great illness a few years ago. Father and Mother visited many famed doctors to save this life. Because the doctor said that nephew-wife’s body needed to recover in peace, nephew-wife was unable to go outside until this year as the body recovered. It really is a regret of nephew-wife to not have seen the phoenix appearances of Empress Dowager and Empress these years due to weakness of the body. Seeing the phoenix appearances now, nephew-wife has learned that Empress Dowager is more benevolent and noble than imagined, and Empress is even more beautiful and dignified than imagined.” So these words were to remove the label of being weak in constitution and to also clarify why she had not seen any people on the outside in these years? The Empress’ eyebrow rose slightly. She smiled benevolently and said, “It is a great and fortunate matter for your body to recover. Now that you have become a member of our family, it will not be difficult to see Empress Dowager and ben gong.” “That is true,” the Empress Dowager said with a smile. “In the future when you want to see aijia, come to the palace.” She took out and gave a pendant to Hua Xi Wan after speaking. “This is the token for Fu Kang Palace. You will not need to send in your card in order to enter the palace to see aijia. Just take this token to Fu Kang Palace.” How could Hua Xi Wan be ignorant of the fact that this was equivalent to a permit of admittance to the Imperial Palace? She refused three times, but in the end, under the Empress Dowager’s persistent attitude, she accepted this slightly hot potato. She was not clear about the different camps in the inner palace but her intuition said that the Empress Dowager was not on as good terms as rumored with the Imperial Couple. This old lady might have some sincerity in treating her grandson, Yan Jin Qiu, but as to how much sincerity there was, she could not see at this time. The Empress Dowager was unreasonable in this move. She wanted to give Yan Jin Qiu a token of admittance to the Imperial Palace, but she did it openly in front of the Empress. The Empress could not stop her and could only stare. There wasn’t any incorrectness since the Empress Dowager had given it out in front of her. If the Empress was not willing, she could speak directly. Since the Empress did not speak, it meant that she had accepted it. But how could she speak directly and slight the Empress Dowager? The Empress Dowager’s move was simple and crude, but it was the best way to deal with the Imperial Couple. Hua Xi Wan rubbed the black iron token in her hand and sighed inside. A woman who did not have any children of her own but was able to stay firmly on the seat of Empress, who also managed to adopt two imperial sons and become the Empress Dowager in the end—how could this woman be simple? Previous          Main menu          Next Click to Post