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darklydeliciousdesires · 4 months ago

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Light on the Darkside - Chapter Nine.

Huge thanks to my little audience for your continued readership! ILY :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,933

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Topics cover depression, suicide and eating disorders. Minors DNI!

“James, come in, come in,” Michael welcomed him with, opening the door to his office, which truly didn’t look very much like one at all. While there was a desk present over by the window, the space was dominated by a large, comfortable looking sofa, an armchair and a coffee table. Plants were dotted around, bookcases lining the walls, a huge collection of CD’s and a stereo present, even an acoustic guitar in the corner, too. It was so warm and hospitable, so far removed from what he knew. “Tea or coffee?”

“Erm, tea, please,” he replied, still coming to terms with the distinct lack of formality. Dr. Beaumont had never offered him a drink during a therapy session.

“You get yourself comfortable on the sofa and I’ll be with you in a jiff. Milk and sugar?”

“Black, two sugars, thanks.” Sitting down, his head turned to the shelf behind him, taking in all of the CD titles. Aerosmith, Dio, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Ozzy Osbourne, Journey, Yes, Jimi Hendrix, Free, Lynard Skynard and a whole host of other artists he recognised.

Michael passed him a mug, sitting down at the opposite end of the sofa. “Kick off your boots if you want to put your feet up, get a bit more comfortable. There are only two rules within my office. No shoes on the sofa and if you want to smoke, go over by the window, because I still struggle being around a lit fag. My darling wife made me quit a year ago and I begrudge her every day for it!”

Kicking his boots off, he did just that, crossing his long legs beneath him, still baffled at the ease he was being treated with. It was worlds apart from Moor Acres, and he got the distinct impression already that it was going to benefit him hugely.

“Led Zeppelin, hmm?” Michael then stated, pointing to his t shirt. “I saw them at the forum in LA in nineteen seventy. Phenomenal, they were. Arguably their best show ever.”

James’s eyes widened. “Seriously, you saw the forum gig? Woah. That’s top grade cool!”

“I’m pleased you agree. Have you ever seen them live?”

“Nah,” he lamented, scratching his goatee. “Always been doing something else, innit. Bad timing, man, especially since they don’t really tour no more.”

“Yes, it's sad that a lot of the greats aren't around any longer, or if they are, they aren’t touring. I even got to see Sabbath while Ozzy was still with them. I mean, I admire the work they did with Ronnie James Dio and Tony Martin, but Ozzy was the heart of that band. I’ve got tickets to see them in December at the NEC. It’ll be great, with Bill back in the fold again, too.”

“Yeah! I sat on the bleedin’ phone for about an hour to get ours when they came on sale, innit.” Bleedin’. An Ella-ism. His heart panged a little.

Michael grinned, raising his coffee cup. “I’ll see you there then, young man!” Taking a big swig, he then reached for the shelf above, pulling out a Black Sabbath album. Volume 4. Ahh, what a choice, James smiling as he thought of Mary. He got up, putting the CD into the player, turning the volume up a fraction so it was loud enough to enjoy, but not impede their talking.

For that first half an hour, they sat and chatted about music, James revealing all about his band, their first proper tour around Europe, their being signed to a prominent label, Michael drinking it all in. He’d make notes later. While with a patient, listening to them was his sole focus.

“I must ask, James. You speak of your love of music with such zeal and passion. How can you reconcile that to this meaninglessness you speak of that I read in your patient file? Your life has a lot of meaning from where I’m sitting,” Michael began carefully, reaching for his mug from the table beside them.

“This void you talk about within, I do have to wonder the root cause of it. Not to downplay the fact that you are very obviously under the duress of mental illness, but you do appear for all intents and purposes to be a young man with much ambition about his person. Is that void which causes this anguish perhaps something that needs to be filled by further accomplishment as well as medication and therapy, searching for something you are yet to find?”

Nobody had put it to him like that before. He sat there looking stunned for a few moments, something in his head finally clicking into place. An unmedicated brain plus an unfulfilled drive... was it really that simple to figure out that this was what brought on his periods of bleakness? It would certainly explain why he’d felt better after starting the band for a while. It also explained why through meeting Ella, he’d felt that void close up a little.

Ella. Jesus, how he missed her to his very bones, and he’d only been parted from her for five hours.

“I appear to have given you some food for thought there, young man.”

That was one way to put it. “Yeah, shitting hell. You really have, Michael. Sorry if I’m just sat here stunned, it’s just I ain’t used to therapy sessions like this. Less than an hour and I feel like you’ve helped me already. I had almost five months with Dr. Beaumont and I didn’t feel like I got much from her methods.”

“Ahh yes. I know Clarice professionally. She’s wonderful at her job, but quite dry and impersonable in her approach. That simply doesn’t work for everyone. I like to offer therapy in a relaxed way, get to know my patient as a person, who they are beyond their disorders. You learn a lot more about them when you look past their illness.”

God, this man. He truly was a tonic. “I don’t feel like a lab rat in here, either. Like, I know you’re still doing your job, but you’re doing it in a way that makes me feel listened to.”

Michael grinned, sipping his coffee as he tapped his fingers to the drum beat of the song currently playing. “Listening is vital, as is tailoring the balance of drugs to therapies as well. Now, I’ve taken a look at your medication and your progress, but I’m not one hundred percent happy with what you’re currently being administered. I want to discuss it more with our doctor, see if we might do a little tinkering there. I cannot do this alone, of course being a psychologist and not a psychiatrist, I’m not medically licensed myself, but I do have a good understanding over the role drugs play.

“Tentatively, I do not feel that you need to be on the Lorazepam any longer, so I think we should begin weaning your doses down, and the Celexa seems to be working well. I’ve found excellent results in patients who take that long term, but I would like to see if we can lower your dose a fraction. You’ve had no serious side effects to note there, other than a few little ones like dry mouth and reduced appetite. How are those for you now?”

“Still get dry mouth on occasion, but I eat well,” he confirmed, Michael nodding.

“No reduced sexual desires or anything like that? That’s a common one to look out for, and as a young man in the prime of his life, you probably don’t want to suffer that!” he laughed, James beginning to grin, remembering that one time beneath the tree with Ella.

“Nah, ain’t put a dampener on my spark.”

“Well, jolly good! Alright, James, our hour is up. I’ll see you again on Thursday.”

Leaving that office, he truly did look forward to his next therapy session. It was a first, but one he very much welcomed. As the days passed into weeks, he found himself becoming clearer, able to manage his thoughts with Michael’s advice, never feeling anything other than at ease there in the comfort of his office. He even let him sit and play guitar during their sessions, too.

With Dr. Beaumont, he’d always felt little more than something to be studied, having clinical jargon he didn’t truly understand spouted at him. Her endless questions frustrated him, because he never really felt like she was helping him reach any kind of conclusions.

With Michael, the path he was on to finding them was very much walked with the kind man he found himself settled around right by his side, rather than being watched from afar. He gave him answers and clarity. He treated him like a human being, not a mental patient. His personable, friendly nature set him at ease and in doing so, finally gave him all the answers he’d been looking for, with practical advice on how to understand his illness and go forward in managing it.

He also got right to the root of one of his biggest problems as well.

“I think we can definitely track some of your issues with authority and your anger to your relationship with your mother,” Michael began during a session three weeks into James’s stay, watching as his patient snorted.

“Ain’t that all a bit cliche, though? Like what the German fella said, what was his name?” he spoke, clicking his fingers as he tried to remember the name.

“Freud, and he was Austrian. Also, he was the founding father of psychoanalysis as we know it, so no, not cliched. Valid. Very valid. I read the notes you made about her, and I have to say I can see why you’d find her brand of mothering quite stifling. She seems to be very antagonistic for one thing. Also controlling, perhaps borne of a fear of what a loss of control would mean for her. I do not want to analyse your mother, though. It’s you I’m here to help.

“I can tell you this much though, James. Expecting her to change is redundant. If she does not seek it for herself, then she never will. What you can change, though, is the way you react to her.”

Clink. Another piece of the disassembled puzzle that was his mental health fell effortlessly into place.

“And how should I do that, like?” he asked, strumming the guitar he held.

“Set a boundary with her. When she is escalating and seeking conflict, or becoming overbearing, simply remind her that while you appreciate her concern, you are a grown man now, capable of making his own decisions, and do not snap to any bait she’s likely to dangle before you. You mention she enjoys getting a rise out of people. Do not feed that desire within her. This could be all that is needed to assist there. In the end, though, if she doesn’t listen, there is nothing more you can do but calmly remove yourself from the situation.”

Clink.

The pieces kept on falling into place, too, until one day in the office, James heard the news he’d been waiting on.

“I think it’s time, James. I’m confident enough in your progress to officially discharge you, on the condition of weekly therapy sessions going forward. I run my own clinic outside of the unit from my home on Thursday’s and Friday’s. I understand it’s a little far to travel, so if you’d prefer, I can refer you to a therapist in the Warwickshire area?”

“Nah, I’m fine travelling. Steve and I share a car so I’ll just drive myself down. Don’t wanna see nobody else. You get me, and that’s top grade important, innit?”

“I’m pleased to hear that, young man. I’ll make sure the details are given to you prior to your discharge. Well bloody done. You’ve made absolutely marvellous progress.”

"Ahh, nice one.” he spoke, actually able to take a little pride in that, Michael pleased that he had a part in handing it to him. James expected another handshake as he stood, but instead, Michael opened his arms, giving him a big hug and hearty slap on the back.

Finally. He could get back out there to his life.

Knowing that of course his mother would overbear on him, Carole having made noises about him returning to the family home after his release, he lied and told her the wrong date of when he’d be coming out. The only person who knew was the one who drove down to Birmingham to pick him up, making a nuisance of himself in the visitor car park by blasting music by the band Enslaved at high volume from the beaten-up Peugeot 206 he drove.

“You’re free, you fucking massive goth bastard!” Steve roared as James climbed into the passenger seat after throwing his bag in the back. “Mate, I’m thrilled to fucking pieces for ya!”

He grinned, being shaken by the hand that gripped his shoulder, Steve leaning over to grasp his head and kiss his forehead. “Longest six fucking months of my life, innit. Right, you got credit on your phone? I need to call the old man and tell him I’m out. The duchess thinks it’s happening on Friday, so I’ve gotta tell him she’s been deceived somewhat. He’ll be in the White Swan on his break, though. Wanna go for a pint?”

“Do I fucking ever, mate!”

Lighting up two cigarettes, he passed one to Steve as they pulled out onto the road, roaring away from the unit. “Oh, did Ella phone yet? Meant to ask you that.”

He snickered a little, indicating left at the traffic lights. “Like you ain’t been asking that very question every time I’ve spoken to you on the phone. Nah, mate. Not yet.”

That information gave him a little pit in his stomach, realising that she was still there at Moor Acres. He put it to the back of his mind, though, choosing instead to enjoy his freedom now that he finally had it.

While Steve negotiated them through the streets of Erdington back to the motorway, he rang his father, who was beyond elated to hear he was out. When they walked into the White Swan just under an hour later, though, Alan couldn’t keep his joy in.

“There’s me lad!” he roared from the bar, turning to wrap his eldest in a massive hug, beyond thrilled to see the smile he was met with. Truly, he looked better than he had in months. He looked alive again, happy. Exactly what any father wanted. “How are ya, kidda?”

“I’ll be better when I get a pint in my hand,” he confessed, Alan turning to the bar.

“Already got a round in, mate.” He passed them over, a Stella for his son and a Guinness for Steve. “Cheers!”

“Cheers, dad!” With that, he lifted the glass to his mouth, taking his first sip of cold beer in what felt like forever. He kept on sipping, too, half of it drank back at rapid speed. Jesus, how he’d missed it.

“Easy now, dickhead!” Steve chirped. “Ain’t you gotta watch it with your medication?”

“Kinda,” he spoke, licking foam from his top lip, “but it mainly affects you if the meds already make you tired, and they don’t. I can’t get wankered, though, or it’ll stop ‘em working as well. Gotta find a balance, so Michael tells me.”

Alan nodded at the half empty glass. “And I see you’ve started that, eh, mate?”

“Oh yeah.” he grinned, taking another sip. God, it was about the best beer he’d ever had in his life. Freedom beer. He’d definitely drink to that. While James was enjoying life on the outside, ten miles across the county, Ella was about to step on the scales for the first time that week, ready to have her weight recorded.

In the five weeks she’d been without James, she’d swung between determination in her recovery and all-out despair through pining for him. It had been a lonely time for her, since Andrea had finally gone home just two weeks after James’s departure, Ella not really bonding with anyone else.

“Okay, pet,” Mary spoke, tinkering with the settings on the large scales. “Up you pop for us.” At least she still had Mary, of which she was thankful for. Standing on the scales, she waited, Mary adjusting again before nodding. “Eee, look at that, eh? Seven stone twelve pounds! You’ve just two pounds to go and bingo! It’s home time, my love!”

Ella sighed a little, looking down at herself. Her body appeared so different now, having fuller hips, her breasts back to a B cup and her bum definitely rounder. It made her feel a little insecure, but they were all what Dr. Beaumont coined as definitive markers of health. Also, her periods had stated again as of four weeks ago, another positive on her road to recovery.

“Ya’s could look a bit prouder of yaself, pet!”

“Sorry,” she spoke, pulling herself from her thoughts. “Yeah, yeah I am. I’m just... it still feels weird to me that I’m like, not so small any longer.”

“Ella, you’re in size eight clothes, sweetheart. That’s still small,” Mary staunchly reminded her. “And we don’t think in size, do we? We think in health. Bum is health. Hips are health. Boobies are health. And what’s more, that lovely fella of yours is out there right now hopefully, ready and waiting to give ‘em all a good squeeze!”

She couldn’t help herself snort laughing at that statement, knowing that yes, James would definitely be exploring her curves with a lot of enthusiasm when she finally saw him again. There was her extra push, she supposed, knowing that – as Mary had said – he'd hopefully be out of the until he’d been transferred to by that point, waiting for her to call and tell him the same.

Still though, she couldn’t help be plagued by the occasional dark thought there. What if he wasn’t waiting? What if he’d gotten out, met another girl and quickly forgotten all about her? At several points, she found herself loitering by the pay phones just outside of the common room, wanting to call him to see if he had arrived home yet, but had chickened out without fail every time.

It was a further week and a half until her stepping onto the scales revealed her to be at her target weight, just a fraction over, in fact, Ella weighing in at eight stone and one pound, receiving the biggest cheer and warmest hug from Mary. Finally, she was free. Her release was set for that coming Monday morning, her mother April sadly unable to get the time away from work, so sending somebody else to ferry her youngest home again.

Ella was over the moon to see her sister running across the carpark to her, dropping her bags and being bundled up into a massive hug. “Baby sis! Look at you! Wow, you look bloody amazing! Got little curves, and your hair is all glossy and pretty!”

“Yeah, except for the bleedin’ roots! Look at them! Not cool beans, Jane. Big time mess,” she exclaimed, Jane reaching to pick up two of her bags, leaving Ella with the remaining one.

“Aha, I might have a little surprise for you there!” She was whisked across the Warwickshire countryside, Jane taking her to Nuneaton town centre, their first stop the hairdressers both women frequented often.

“Aww, this is so kind of you!” Ella cried, turning to hug her sister fondly, Jane beaming.

“All part of the big sis service! Besides, I need a freshen. My split ends, sis. Look at them!” Shaking a handful of purple hair at her, Jane then ducked down to receive the cape draped around her by one of the hair washing girls, both transported to the back of the salon to have their locks freshly shampooed. An hour and a half later, and the sisters left the salon with topped up hair colour, Ella’s dark blonde roots now resorted to their paler pearl blonde glory and a fresh cut making her feel truly restored.

“So, how are you feeling in yourself, then?” Jane asked as they walked down the high street, arms linked, Ella lighting herself a cigarette.

“Healthy, which is what's keeping me going the most,” she began, exhaling a plume of smoke down her nose. “Back when I was at my smallest, I felt like death every day. It's nice to have some energy back, and all the work I did with my doctor in therapy really helped me adjust my mental picture too. I still have some of those anorexia hangups, though. Like, I’ll look down and feel uncomfortable that I can’t really see my hipbones any longer, and none of my old tops fit me.”

“I’ll remind you here that all of those tops were catered towards ten-year-old girls, Ella,” Jane spoke, clicking her tongue piercing against her teeth as she often did.

“I know. It’s bloody shocking when I look at them again. Mary, one of the nurses there, she showed me a picture they took of me when I was first admitted. I like, cried for about ten minutes because although I’m not a hundred percent confident in my body, I finally saw it. I was so, so frail and poorly. Sunken cheeks, ribs and hips jutting out, my spine protruding. I looked like a skeleton.”

Smiling, Jane tightened her squeeze on her arm. “Mary’s lovely from what I saw when we visited. She really looked after you, didn’t she?”

Ella nodded, thinking that for a couple of months, at least, so had another. She was reminded of him from the blare of rock music coming from The Gallows, a local alternative bar come club there at the end of the high street, about to walk right past it when a poster in the window caught her attention. James, it seemed, was no longer institutionalised.

“Oh, Nocturnal Descent are playing next Saturday,” she mused, Jane frowning with puzzlement.

“And what do you know of them?”

“A fair bit, you know. Their lead guitarist was in Moor Acres with me for a while,” she spoke, Jane cutting in.

“Oh my god, so the rumours are true! Shit, I’d heard something about him not being well, blimey! Oh wow, I can’t believe you know him!”

A little smug smile curved her lips. “Yeah, erm. I know him quite well, actually. I don’t know how to say what it is, but we’re, I dunno. We had a thing.”

Jane’s eyes all but fell out onto the floor. “Woah, woah. Stop. Excuse me? You and War? You had a thing with War?”

“Yep. I don’t know if we still do. There’s a story there. Bleedin’ hell, is there a story,” she spoke, raising her eyebrows as she chewed her lip.

“I swear to god, that man is a babe! First time I saw him without the corpse paint on, my chin, sis. Clonk!” She gestured to her chin hitting the floor, Ella giggling as she continued. “Oh, oh I am burning with jealousy! Right, we’re going. The plan has been formed! We’re going in for a quick drink, buy ourselves some tickets and then you can tell me all about this story you have with him.”

He was out, and playing a gig in eleven days’ from then. Ella couldn’t help feel nerves as her heart began to flutter at the thought of seeing him again.

#original fiction #original stories #original story #smutty story #smutty stories #tw: depression #tw: anorexia

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ambrossart · 8 months ago

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Hello, my question is about the Bowers gang and the music. I simply found it curious and fun and since Victor also seems to be a music fan and invited Evelyn next time to listen to music, my question is about her musical tastes, if she has a group. favorite or what genre of music do they listen to or if they have a favorite singer since Belch is a character who is characterized by the fact that he loves Metallica, so he asks me what type of music would each one listen to, Belch, well, he listens to metallica and anthrax (he has a band t-shirt and it appears in a movie if I remember correctly) Victor in one of the chapters says that he likes an Aerosmith song but from there I don't have an idea of the bands or singers I heard, much less Henry or Patrick, I feel Patrick would be the strangest, he doesn't even seem like a person who listened to music or is a fan of someone and Henry doesn't seem that way to me either, and also it's from the 80's so it's even more interesting because I love the music of the 80's. 80s and 70s.

First of all, I absolutely love questions like this! I’ve had the worst week, so this was a very welcome mental vacation. Thank you for this.

Anyway, let’s discuss everyone’s music preferences! I’m just gonna break this down character by character to make my life easier.

— Evelyn

Evelyn likes whatever songs catch her ear on the radio. Music isn’t a huge part of her life, so she doesn’t really have a favorite song or artist. She has songs she likes (a lot of those classic 80s pop hits), sure, but I doubt she knows the names of most of them. So far, I think the only artists I’ve specifically mentioned her liking are Olivia Newton-John, the B-52s (literally just for “Love Shack” probably), and The Beach Boys, but we’ll discover more of her interests later. It’s not a major storyline by any means, but it does get explored.

— Vic

This may be a departure from canon, but in my mind, Victor Criss is an early adopter of the whole 90s grunge aesthetic. Messy hair. Ripped jeans. Flannel. Oversized shirts. Drinking coffee and smoking weed. If this story took place in the 90s, Vic would be all up in that grunge scene. I’m honestly super bummed I couldn’t go that route with him, but mark my words, that boy will go full grunge in college. He will.

Since this story doesn’t take place in the 90s, a lot of people (and by “people” I mean the characters in the story) probably assume Vic’s into heavy metal like Belch, but that’s not necessarily true. See, Vic is very picky about his music, and I don’t mean that in a snobby way at all (although Vic can be a little snobby about it). For him, music is therapy. Vic just wants to get really high, listen to some music, and escape himself for a while. And the wrong kind of music can be painfully grating to him, like to the point where it would cause him intense physical discomfort. That’s why he’s so picky.

So what kind of music does Vic like? I dunno… I could see him being into psychedelic rock, artists like Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Cream, The Byrds, The Beatles, stuff like that. Vic is very private about his music, though. There’s a reason Christie Gibson can’t seem to figure him out.

It's also a pretty big deal that Vic has invited Evelyn to listen to music with him. Just saying.

— Belch

Next to Victor, Belch is probably the most serious about music. As we all know from the movie, heavy metal is his preference and his passion, but he’s also the kind of guy who can (secretly) appreciate a well-composed song regardless of its genre. That being said, Belch does tend to steer clear of the mainstream pop music scene… unless, of course, Christie Gibson is with him. Yeah, when those two are together, he pretty much lets her play whatever music she wants (because Belch is a good boyfriend).

— Henry

Yeah, I don’t think Henry is that serious about music. He listens to it, sure, everyone does, but it doesn’t impact his life significantly. Despite that, Henry’s tastes are probably very similar to Belch’s, simply because that’s how Henry gets exposed to most of his music: he listens to whatever Belch plays in the car. Apart from that, I could also see him being into bands like Led Zeppelin, Blue Öyster Cult, Deep Purple, Kansas, etc. But would he consider any of them his favorite band? Probably not, because Henry doesn’t have a favorite band.

Honestly, I think Henry has a very negative relationship with music in general. Anything that tries to tap into his emotions or influence his emotions, yeah Henry doesn’t like that. At all. He doesn’t wanna feel things. He doesn’t wanna think about his parents or his childhood. He wants all that shit to stay buried real deep.

— Patrick

For Patrick, all music sounds the same—and by that, I mean it’s all just “noise” to him. He doesn’t connect to it on any level, least of all emotionally.

In Chapter 5 (I think?) we saw Patrick using the radio kind of like a weapon. He purposefully messed with the knob to create the most annoying sounds his possibly could, hoping that it would drive the other guys in the car crazy. And it worked. Belch almost crashed the damn car. That pretty much sums up Patrick’s relationship with music. It’s just something else for him to manipulate and use for his entertainment.

So yeah, I could see Patrick listening to some really weird shit, like music that isn’t really music, but more like a bunch of random creepy/disturbing sounds put together. Patrick’s a weirdo. There’s no way he listens to traditional music.

___________

Okay, that's all I have to say on the subject. Thanks again for this ask! It was a lot of fun to think about. ❤️

#bowers gang #henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #victor criss #belch huggins #it stephen king #it 2017 #answered asks #thanks for the ask!#it fanfiction #paper men #ambrossart

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meaningofgrayx · 2 months ago

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Location: Creek Comics Open to all @maplecstarters

Hendrix pushed open the heavy door of the comic store, a content smile on his face. The place was comforting to him, a mix of comics, merch, t-shirts, collectables and even some vinyl records. He found himself going toward the back corner, where the lesser-known records hid. His fingertips brushed the edge of an old Jimi Hendrix album, and he smirked at the irony of it. His name.

As he stood there, lost in thought, Hendrix became aware of someone moving beside him. Glancing up from the records, he flashed a friendly smile. "Hey," he said, his voice casual but warm. "You have good taste if you’re hanging out in this section," he joked lightly.

#maplestart #maplestarters

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matthew-gray-gublers-babygirl · 2 years ago

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Woman taken by the wind - Roger Taylor x Fem!reader

Summary: You've taken a liking to a new band and your boyfriend cant help but tease you about your recent infatuation.

Warnings: no swearing, implied sex, mention of oral sex, minor stress, mainly just fluff

Word count: 1.6k

Alone in your apartment, you skip over to the turntable set up in the living room and turn up the volume to fifteen. The recently released sound of ‘Rhiannon’ by Fleetwood Mac blared through your flat. You weren't a fan of the earlier stuff from the band, but with the newest addition of Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham to the group really brought a new interesting vocal and guitar sound, you couldn’t get enough of it. You heard the track that was playing from the speakers on the radio, and you demanded that Roger pull over the car so you could go get a copy of the album.

Your boyfriend, Roger, wasn't as much of a ‘Fleetwood Mac super fan’ as he so lovingly calls you. He preferred the heavier tracks of Jimi Hendrix, while still liking some of the softer stuff from Dylan and such. He didn’t mind when you played them, though.

You were alone at the moment. Roger was off in the studio with the boys. He suggested you stay home this day so you don't get caught in the middle of their idiotic arguments over if the harmony should be sung with an ‘ah’ sound or an ‘oh’ sound. You had some work to do in the apartment that day, so you were fine with staying home. Your recent purchase was great background noise for your daily chores.

You take a moment to walk over to the turntable again and flip over the record to side B before you continue on with washing the dishes. Swaying your hips to the beat of the song, you sang along to lyrics you were able to figure out. You had most of them memorized after listening to the album a couple of times.

Roger had always loved your dancing. You felt dorky and rarely danced in front of others, but Roger was able to bring that side of you to light. You felt free around him, even if you still felt embarrassed to dance around him.

You dry off the dishes and put them into the cabinet. That was another chore knocked off your list. You were surprisingly productive this afternoon. You often procrastinated by saying you'll do it later or you get too invested in whatever TV show you're watching.

You boogie(Rogers words) out of the kitchen and bend over the dining room table, reaching for the little notepad and checking off ‘wash dishes’ on the list. You had finally finished everything you had to do, and it was only 2 pm. You flip the cardboard cover to the front of the notebook and hook the pen back into the metal coil holding it together.

The way you were dancing almost made you feel like a hippie. You were too engulfed in the booming music that you didn't hear the door of your apartment unlock.

Roger enters the apartment. He could hear the music before he even reached the doorstep. He leans against the entrance frame of the living room, watching as you dance in a pair of short pj shorts and his t-shirt. He loved seeing you wear his clothes.

“Hey, cutie,” Roger says, and you almost jump out of your skin at the sudden sound of his voice. “What- Roger! That's not funny!” you whine. You scramble to the turntable and turn the volume down to three.

Roger laughs at your childish reaction. “I think it's very funny, actually,” he says with a smirk. You feel his strong arms wrap around your waist as your bent over the turntable. “Why are you turning it down, lovie?” he asks as he takes hold of your hand and turns it up to ten.

“Why are you home so early?” you ask, not answering his question about the volume. Roger spins you around, smiling at you as he holds onto you in a waltz-like position. “We decided to stop for today. Too much arguing,” he says. “Is that all?” you ask as you begin swaying in his hold. “And because I missed my girl,” he smiles and gives you a kiss.

You hum against his soft, pillowy lips. “You were only gone for a couple of hours,” you giggle. “Is it so criminal for a man to miss his woman?” Roger laughs. “If so, give me the electric chair,” he says as he spins you around, causing a small yelp of excitement from you. “Not criminal. Maybe needy,” you smirk back.

“You look cute,” he says, laying a kiss on your lips and then your cheek. “Oh, do I?” you ask, and he hums. “Love it when you wear my shirts,” he smiles softly as he toys with the hem of the shirt. “Especially when you wear those tiny shorts,” he adds.

“Why? Because it looks like I’m wearing nothing underneath?” you question.

“Yep,” he grins and spins you again. “Maybe I should send you to the chair,” you joke. “On what charges?” he asks. “Horniness,” you say. Roger's hands slide down your sides, poking at your hips. “Oh, you're not too innocent yourself,” he points out.

You laugh and give him a kiss before pulling yourself from his hold. “Never said I was,”

Roger watches as you walk away from him. “Where do you think you're going?” he asks as he cocks an eyebrow. “Changing the record,” you chuckle. You carefully lift the vinyl from the padded surface and return it to the protective sleeve before you feel Roger's hot breath against your neck.

“You know, I was thinking about you earlier,” he whispers into your ear. You couldn't help but smirk. “What were you thinking?” you ask innocently, still keeping your attention fixed on the neatly organized display of your shared record collection in front of you.

“I was thinking about that little red outfit you wore on my birthday last year,” he says. You laugh under your breath. You had great memory of that night. “Mhm?” you hum, telling him to continue as you feel his hands wrap around your waist. “You had on your favourite red lipstick,” he continues.

“You mean your favourite red lipstick,” you laugh. Roger always loved how you looked in that specific shade of red. He loved when it smudged onto your chin, and when you would leave kiss marks all over his body with the lipstick just to get a rise out of him. “Whatever,” he chuckles.

“And, my head between your thighs,” he whispers. “Roger!” you whine, hitting his hand like a mother disciplining their son for having a potty mouth. Your cheeks were as red as that god-forsaken lipstick. You turn around to face him, putting on a brave face as if your cheeks weren't blaring red. “And you screaming that!” he grinned. It took every ounce of strength in your body not to smack that smirk right off his face.

“You're such a pervert,” you joke. Roger gave you a kiss and laughed. “You keep sleeping with that pervert, so you make up your mind, y/n” he hummed.

“See, and I would ask if you were thinking about me too, but you were probably too focused on your artsy fartsy music,” he teased. You huff and cross your arms, but it was so difficult to stay mad at him when he was staring at you with those big blue eyes. “Hey, baby, don't be so mad. I like your music,” he says as he gives your cheek a kiss. You tighten your lips as you struggle to hide your smile. “There's that smile,” he hums, and you finally let it be seen.

“I hate you,” you mumble through an embarrassed laugh. “Love you, too, babe,” Roger smiles. He wraps his arms around you again as the sound of the second track on The Beatles album ‘Abbey Road’ begins playing. Roger nuzzles his face into your neck and gently kisses it as you sway. “Somewhere in her smile she knows, that I don't need no other lover…” he hums to you softly, and you smile yet again in response.

“How's the album coming?” you ask, and you feel as he shrugs. “Sort of behind schedule, but I much rather spend time with you,” he says. “Oh, Roger. You know I don't like it when you choose me over your work,” you annoyingly say. Roger sighs, and he moves his head from his neck to meet your eyes. “I know, I know. Just, you know, the constant bickering is exhausting,” he confesses.

“I love making music, but now it's just like clockwork now,” he says. He didn't want to admit it, but he had to. “And the record company has us on a strict deadline, it's just… so stressful,”

You hated to see Roger like this. You remember the days when he was so excited to go to the studio and work on the albums. But now, every day he would come home more miserable than the day before.

“I understand,” you tell him, letting your fingers comb through his un-styled mop. “It will get better soon, I’m sure of it,” you say. “Just wait, soon you’ll be on tour, and you get to see the world and perform for thousands of fans!” you smile, hoping that the response from the fans would cheer him up. It did, in part.

Roger hugs you, burring his face in your neck yet again. “Thank you, y/n,” he whispers. The only thing he didn't favour about the tours is that he didn't get to see you. You both understood that it was an important part of his career and that it would get easier with time.

The next track, ‘Maxwells' Silver Hammer’ comes on. This one was a bit funny to you. You both giggle as the lyric “Bang Bang Maxwells’ silver hammer came down upon her head” came.

“You remember that thing you mentioned about the red dress and lipstick…?” you ask, and Roger smirks. “Of course, I do,” he says. “Still in the mood?” you ask. He didn't even have to answer, because the next thing you knew Roger was pulling you down the hall to your bedroom, not even bothering to turn off the record.

#roger taylor #roger meddows taylor #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor fanfiction #roger taylor fluff #roger taylor fandom #roger taylor x reader

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darkside-tshirt · 1 year ago

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https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/53294037-jimi-hendrix-mosaic?store_id=2827761

#clothes #tshirt #tshirtdesign #rock music #guitar #jimi hendrix #rock star #guitar man #jimihendrix #guitar music

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brucequeensteen · 7 months ago

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ethan. i chose whatever music asks you haven’t done yet.

hi kieren im kind of obsessed with u. there are a lot that i havent done but some of them i cant be bothered to answer/genuinely cannot answer or the answer is just no so here's the ones i like <3

Do you listen to more oldies or more current stuff? A mix of both but leaning more to oldies, the majority of my favourite songs and artists are either from the 60s & 70s era, or the 90s & 00s era <3

Would you wear a t-shirt of a band you're not into? Probably not, even if the design is cool i only wear band tshirts if i care abt the band. But if someone gave me an artist tshirt as a gift, i’d wear it AND listen to the artist it depicts 👍

Is there an artist or song that you like, despite being of a genre you don't usually like? I like all genres i don't discriminate. i’m bisexual

A song or album from the 50s or earlier: this compilation album of old japanese pop 1950-1951… discovered through mash playlists

A song or album from the 60s: 1-800-are-you-experienced by jimi hendrix 1967 :)

A song or album from the 70s: Born to run by BRUCIE 1975 raaaagghhhhhh

A song or album from the 80s: King of rock by run-dmc 1985 💪💥

A song or album from the 90s Call the doctor by sleater-kinney 1996

A song or album from the 2000s: Cheap pop for the elite by kore. ydro., 2006

A song or album from the 2010s: TRANSANGELIC EXODUS BY EZRA FURMAN 2018. GOAT

Do you and your partner/best friend share a special song? One you’d call “our song”? unfortunately for my boyfriend and i it is the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us by sufjan stevens which is indicative of how normal we both are

Do you play any instruments? I’ve been “learning” the bass for about 2 years but havent made much progress but i can do basic riffs and improvise a little

Who’s your favorite fictional band or artist? Marceline The Vampire

When was the last time you cried when listening to a song, if ever? I couldn’t tell you the last time a song made me properly cry but i sort of cried listening to come on in yesterday because i was having a category 5 peter tork moment

Your favorite artist from your city/state/country? At the moment its marina spanou and based on her lyrics i think she is literally from the same area of athens as me <3

A song you like in a language you don’t speak:

A song you like with lyrics in two or more languages:

songs that are symbolic of a time when i was literally and without exaggeration in the trenches. korean & english

Do you enjoy musicals? If so, what’s your favorite? Top 5: fiddler on the roof, jesus christ superstar, newsies, les miserables, hadestown.

Have you watched any musician’s biopics? Do you have a favorite? I’M NOT THERE DIRECTED BY TODD HAYNES MY NUMBER 1 ☝️ even if i am not the biggest bob dylan girl out there i fucking love that movie so much

Do you listen to music when it's raining or do you stop to hear the sound of the rain? Im answerin this question cos i like it. If its raining really hard i take out my headphones and turn my music up so i can hear it out loud blended with the sound of the rain <3

Do you prefer live recordings or studio recordings? LIVE RECORDINGS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS. I dont know if i prefer them but theres something so comcorting and beautiful of hearing live stuff so yeah <3

Okay these were the questions i cared about. thank you i love you . heheheheh

#YAAYYYY MUSIC :)#kip 🕸️#📬

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risingwiththeheatabove · 2 years ago

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A Little Honey - Chapter 3 - Strange Horizons

Pairing: Josh X Reader

Series list

Warnings for series: 18+, Alcoholism, toxic parents, domestic abuse, drug use, alcohol use, explicit sexual content, NSFW, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral, blood kink, praise kink, daddy kink, and probably so much more that I am forgetting

Word Count 5.2K

August 2021

From Josh

We have a show in Franklin this week. The guys and I would love to have you and Nora there. There will be a small after party that you are welcome to stay for. Just let me know and I can get you all set up with our security team.

To Josh

That sounds incredible! We will be there! What day is it on so we can both request off work?

From Josh

Oh I guess I forgot the date. Haha. It is on Thursday the 5th. I can not wait to see you.

To Josh

I will be thinking about it all week.

Nora and you were both able to switch shifts to get Thursday night off. Debbie even ended up giving you Friday off just in case you needed to recover from the festivities. Debbie had been trying to get you to go out ever since you started working for her. She was always concerned you were too much of a hermit. She was happy to hear you had plans with someone other than just Nora for once.

Thursday rolled around quickly. You and Nora decided to enjoy your morning off by getting breakfast at your favorite cafe. You sat out on the patio enjoying your iced coffee and smoothie bowls. As you walked back to your apartment, anxiety began to creep back in. Nora could tell you were not yourself.

“Hey can you help me pick my outfit for tonight?” She asked. You knew she did not need your help. She has probably had an outfit planned since you told her on Monday. Not to mention she was always the more fashionable of the two of you. You knew she was trying to help calm your nerves so you agreed you would help each other find something to wear.

Nora grabbed three options from her closet. They had already been displayed on the hangers. No doubt she had them ready for several days.

“Which one?” She asked as she lay them all on the bed.

“I like the pants and jacket from this one.” You said as you grabbed a pair of black pressed trousers and a royal blue velvet fitted blazer. You jumped up and grabbed a t-shirt out of your closet. It was a white Jimi Hendrix Tee that had a psychedelic colorful pattern on the front. “How about this shirt instead?”

“That is way cooler than what I had planned!” She laughed as she accepted the shirt. She quickly changed and modeled the outfit for you. “I may need to borrow some shoes to go with the cool girl aesthetic.”

“Docs or Chelsea boots?” You asked pulling both options from your closet.

“Surprise me!”

You toss her the Chelsea boots. She slips them on completing the look. You check the time. 12:50. You still had hours to kill before heading to the concert. You huff and throw your phone on the bed.

“Let’s find you an outfit then we can go grab some drinks before the show. A little liquid courage never hurt!” Nora suggested.

“That sounds really nice!” You agreed with a nervous laugh.

You ended up going with a black mini slip dress with lace detailing. It had a deliciously placed slit that came up the front of your thigh. Adding black sheer tights, and your favorite black docs. Playing with your jewelry you mixed some delicate gold and silver chains and rings. You decided to wear your hair down again, finishing the look with a light Smokey eye and blush. Nora finished her look with a textured bob, statement hoops, mascara and a nude pink lip.

You pick a bar not to far from the venue that had decent reviews. As you drive to the bar you pass the venue.

“Wow I didn’t know they were that popular!” Nora said, repeating exactly what you were thinking. People were camped out on the concrete with sleeping bags and chairs. You knew they had gained popularity through TikTok, but you hadn’t know to this extent.

You get to the bar, unsure of what your luck would be trying to find parking at the venue. You decide to park at the bar for the evening. You both take a fancy shot of Nora’s choice and order a cocktail each before closing out.

“I needed that!” You say hugging into Nora as you walk to the venue. The doors didn’t open for another hour but you Josh asked that you be there early. You find the side entrance as instructed. Here you are quickly meet with the head of security. They give you each a “Crew” pass and tell you to stay out of the way of the actual crew. You nod in agreement as they hastily rush you to the green room.

“The guys are in here, it opens from the inside unless you have a key so don’t get locked out.” Security states as he scans the key to pop the door open. You thank them as you walk into the room.

“Hey you made it!” Danny said walking up to Nora giving her a bear hug. You shoot her a quizzical look and note this interaction to discuss later.

“Can I get you ladies a drink?” Sam asks as he pulls you into a side hug. As always with a cocktail in hand.

“That depends on who the bartender is.” You say with a wink.

“It’s pretty hard to mess up a jack and coke!” He whines back.

“I am sure you could find a way!” You hear Jake’s voice enter from the door. Jita follows behind waving. You greet them both with a hug.

“Where is Josh?” slips passed your lips with out thinking.

“Don’t worry, he will be here soon.” Jita says with a big smile.

“One thing you will have to learn about Josh, well all of us really. Is that we are always late. If you want us to be on time, lie! Tells us that dinner will be at 4 if you want us there before 7.” Sammy explains.

Everyone laughs and Sam hands Nora and you each a questionable jack and coke. You sit and discuss what everyone has been up to. They are excited for the upcoming shows and eventual tour. You finish your drinks and get comfortable on the green room couch.

“Have you guys heard from Y/N?!” Josh questions in a very animated fashion while he barges through the door. He freezes for half of a second when he sees you. You could have sworn a slight blush came across his cheeks. “Why hello!” He says cheerfully with a big toothy grin. He opens his arms inviting you in for a hug. Standing from the couch you walk over and find yourself wrapped in a tight embrace. He smells divine. He is wearing a white jumpsuit with embroidered colorful feathers along his leg and chest. The whole suit is studded with silver rhinestones. An additional white, sheer tule jumpsuit is worn over the top with even more rhinestone embellishments. He looked ethereal, celestial even. A stark contrast with your dark feminine energy.

“You look absolutely amazing Josh.” You speak softly still wrapped in his arms.

“You are too sweet Honey.” He responds in a bashful tone. “Look at you!” He theatrically gestures to your outfit as you unwrap from one another. Now causing you to blush. “A true rocker goddess stands in front of me!”

“No body has complemented my outfit!” Sam chimes in. He does a quick spin and places his hands on his hips to pose.

“Cedric is about to start his set. Does anyone want to join me?” Hannah asks as she peaks her head through the door. The guys all insist on staying in the green room, so it leaves the four girls to go watch the opening acts. You find reserved seats on Jake’s side of the stage. The opening acts were fantastic and your company was even better. You enjoyed dancing and laughing with the girls. You all got along so easily. The sun had set and the warm Tennessee night encircled you. You began to feel the butterfly’s in your stomach as the boys were about to take the stage.

“I am going to go smoke before the guys come on. Does anyone care to partake?” Hannah asked as she took out a small joint.

“Oh hell yeah!” You respond.

“I will pass.” Nora didn’t smoke often but when she did it normally ended up in a state of panic.

“I will stay with Nora.” Jita said placing a hand on Nora’s shoulder.

Hannah finds you guys a spot back stage. You pass the joint back and forth while you talk.

“So… what’s up with you and Josh?” She says with a suspicious smile. You pause for a second not sure what to say. “Not that its any of my business.” She quickly adds when she sees you thinking on your response.

“I am not really sure if I am being honest. We text like friends, but when we see each other in person…”

“…It’s more than friendly.” She finishes your sentence shooting you a wink.

“Mainly harmless flirting. I am really not sure if he is interested. The guys all seem to be pretty flirty.” You shrug your shoulders slightly embarrassed for admitting you care if Josh is interested in you. You take the last hit and stomp out the stinger.

“Josh doesn’t text people. If he is texting you back, he is interested! Again its none of my business, but I think everyone can tell you guys have chemistry.”

You see the lights dim and soft intro music begins to play. You both run back to your seats giggling like high schoolers who just got away with smoking in the bathroom.

You grab Nora’s hand as you see the boys take the stage. You all scream cheers of excitement as you hear the opening notes of Heat Above. The whole show is magical. The boys are all elevated versions on themselves on stage. Jake makes cute nods to Jita through out the evening. Sam sends a few waves in Hannah’s direction. You stood there wishing you and Josh had what they did. Nora would squeeze your hand when she saw you going into your head. You would squeeze back as if to say thank you. Even though their newest album hadn’t been out long, you already knew all of the words. You sang along through out the entire show, to the extent you thought you might lose your voice. When they left the stage the first time Jita motioned for everyone to follow her. You all joined hands and ran back stage. The boys were exhausted grabbing a quick water and catching their breath before the encore. You got there just before they retook the stage. Josh’s eye caught you as he was running up the stairs. He blew you a quick kiss followed by his classic smile. Nora hugged you from behind in excitement for you. The girls lead you to side stage to watch the boys finish off the show. You stood there in absolute bliss. This night was entirely perfect.

You all waited backstage for the guys to come off stage. You were practically vibrating with joy as you saw sweaty Josh run down the stairs. He picked you up in a hug spinning you around as you both chuckle at the intimacy of the moment. He sets you down, placing his hands on your hips. Yours around the back of his neck. With your body’s still touching he pauses staring at your lips. You watch his as he bites his bottom lip gently. You make eye contact with him and a smile is plastered on his face. You can not help but smile back at him. He is glowing. His forehead meets yours and you feel every breath he takes.

“Honey, have you been smoking the devil’s lettuce?” He softly teases into your ear. You both continue to giggle in your embrace.

“Hey maybe you guys should do that further from the stage.” Danny yells playfully. “Unless you want an army of angry teenagers to find her!”

Josh grabs your hand and runs you back to the green room. He pours you both a drink while the rest of the group files in behind you.

“So what now?” Nora said as she entered the room with Danny.

“Now we PARTY!” Sam exclaimed.

“First we shower!” Jake said throwing a towel at his younger brother. Sam grabbed it sticking his tongue out at Jake.

“Us girls will stay here while the guys get cleaned up!” Jita explained.

“I won’t be gone long Honey.” Josh said placing a kiss on your cheek and handing you your drink.

“Hurry back Sugar.” You said while offering a short slap to his ass as he walked away. He jumped cheerfully as he left the room with the other guys.

You made your way to sit back on the couch next to Hannah and Jita. Nora was looking in the mirror fixing her hair.

“So…” You pause getting Nora’s attention. She looks at your reflection in the mirror but does not turn around. She knows what is coming. “You and Danny seem…”

“Y/N STOP! We are just the two single ones of the group! Do not turn this into something more!” Nora barks back.

“I am single! Josh is single!” You retort.

“You guys don’t look single!” Jita adds, shyly hiding her face in her drink immediately after speaking.

“Obviously I like Josh, but right now we are just friends!”

“…Friends with benefits?” Nora asks in a mischievous tone.

“The night is young…” You reply in a similar tone.

The whole room erupts into laughter. You were falling for Josh, hard and fast. Though you had only been friends for a few weeks it felt much longer. You connected so effortlessly. You spent most days texting about silly details of your day. He would recommend a movie for you to watch and you would recommend him a book. Your music taste was similar though his was much more in-depth. Occasionally exchanging flirtatious text that never amounted to anything. You were unsure where you stood with Josh. You knew you wanted him in your life at least as a friend. You could settle for friendship. But you longed for more.

“Jake just text me, they are heading to the van.” Jita said interrupting the conversation.

“Well ladies lets go!” Hannah said as her and Jita lead you both out of the room and towards the van.

As you approached the van you noticed all the guys had changed into there usual styles. Josh wore his classic white t-shirt, khaki pants and vans. His face slightly pink from the activities of the evening as well as the heat. He wrapped his hand around your waist and guided you into the van. You held his hand pulling him closer to you as you both sat down. His head rested on your shoulder. “Are you tired?” You asked as you softly ran a hand through his hair. He hummed turning into you. His nose brushing your neck.

“A little. It’s been so long time since we preformed. I am out of shape.” He said softly into you neck.

“You don’t look out of shape.” You coo back. He reaches over placing his hand on your upper thigh offering a light squeeze between him thumb and forefinger. You can not see it but you know you are both smiling. Josh melts into you for the short ride to the after party. The van stops and he lets out a slight sigh as he hears the door open. He lifts his head offering you another kiss on the cheek grabbing your hand once more to guide you out of the vehicle.

“Come on Hannah lets show Y/N the bar!” Sammy says. Hannah and Sam wrap one of their arms around each of yours and quickly sweep you away from Josh.

Josh offers an annoyed “HEY!?” As he slaps Sam on the back of the head.

You look back at him and mouth “Sorry.” Between the drinks and the weed consumed earlier in the evening you had a decent cross fade going. You knew you had to pace yourself to enjoy the remainder of the night. You ordered a water which Sam met with disappointment.

“Not everyone drinks as much as you Samuel!” Josh approached the bar placing a hand on the small of your back as he neared. You leaned into his touch. Nora and Jita joined the group at the bar.

“Did you guys have a good time?” Danny asked directing the question to Nora and yourself.

“You guys were fucking awesome! Best concert I have ever been to!” You respond a little too quickly. A slightly more sober you would have been embarrassed.

“It was really fun even if I didn’t know any of the songs!” Nora said comically.

“Y/N you knew every song! I was impressed! I don’t think I even have the new album memorized.” Hannah said light heartedly.

You felt Josh’s body tense as he removed his hand from your back.

“WAIT Y/N, You are a fan?!” Sam said flabbergasted, throwing his arms in the air.

“She is a huge fan!” Nora responded for you. She could see the embarrassment across your face. Josh pulled away further repositioning himself closer to Jake.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jake asked.

“It just never came up.” You shrugged taking a sip of your drink to hide slightly. Your face must have been a vibrant pink.

Extremely aware of Josh’s sudden change in demeanor. Josh scuffed and walked away joining a group of what you gathered were mainly crew. Nora shot you a confused look, one in which you returned.

“If you guys will excuse me…” You say softly breaking the group to look for the bathroom. Nora follows noticing your changing mood.

“Are you good?” She asks as you enter the bathroom.

“Did you notice Josh? How he changed back at the bar?” You say with slight panic in your voice.

“Hey, what happened?”

“I have no clue Nora! All of the sudden things felt different.” You were trying to focus on your breathing to stay calm but you could tell something switched in him.

“Hey, Hey. Stay with me. You are probably just over thinking things. It’s fucking Chris’s fault. You always had to be so aware and on edge around him. But you don’t have to do that with Josh. He is a good guy Y/N. Don’t get in your head.” Nora rubbed your shoulders as she talked you down.

“You are probably right. It’s probably nothing.” You said not fully believing what you were saying.

You both rejoined the group, Josh was still away talking with the crew. Everyone else seemed like themselves. You figured Nora was right and continued to enjoy your time with them. You all danced and laughed and celebrated the world slowly starting to open back up. Several hours passed with not even a glance from Josh. As the festivities died down you were extremely intoxicated. You did not pace your self well but instead decided to try and keep up with Sammy. Bad idea. Nora the only sober one of the group carried you back to the van when it was time to go. You spent the entirety of the van ride telling the group how much you loved them and how lucky you felt to call them friends. Everyone reciprocated the sentiments. Everyone expect Josh. He didn’t say a word. The van returned you to the venue and drove off. Josh slipped away to quickly for anyone to know where he was heading. Sam and Hannah said their goodbyes heading back to their hotel. Leaving just Nora, Danny, Jita, Jake and yourself.

“Shit!” Nora said as she searched her purse for the keys.

“What’s wrong?” Danny asked coming to her aid.

“Oh nothing I just forgot we walked here from the bar. She won’t be able to walk back like that so I will have to get the truck and come back for her.” Nora explained.

“That’s fine, I will set her up in the green room and she will be taken care of until we get back. I will walk with you. You do not need to be walking alone this late at night.” Danny said as he got Jita to help take care of you.

“I will be back for her shortly. Thank you guys!” Nora said as her and Danny made their way toward the bar.

“Alright Y/N lets get you some water and a place to lay down!” Jita said as she and Jake helped walk you back towards the green room. Cursing yourself for drinking too much you repeatedly thanked them for helping you.

“What are friends for?” Jake said sweetly.

You entered the green room unaware Josh was sitting across the room fiddling with a few of his things. They sat you down on the couch and gave you a bottle of water. Jita sat next to you while Jake joined his brother. You closed your eyes and layed on your side. You were in and out of sleep, but you caught bits of the room’s conversation.

“I think she had a little too much fun.” Jake said jokely tapping his brother on the back.

“Why is she still here?” Josh spit back at him.

You wanted to spring up and leave but your body began drifting back to sleep.

“What is your fucking problem?” Jake questioned Josh, waking you once more.

“Shut up guys she is awake!” Jita whispered harshly.

You fell back to sleep. The next time you woke up you could have sworn you were alone. You sat up reaching for your water that had long since fallen off of the couch. You stood up but betrayed by your legs, resembling that of a new born deer. You huffed falling defeated back into the couch.

“Where you ever going to tell me you are a fan?” Josh asked softly from across the room. Causing you to jump slightly and your breath to catch in your chest.

“Shit you scared me.” You said with a hand on your chest trying to steady your breathing. “Um yeah, I guess eventually. It just never felt like the right time.” You manage to stumble though your words.

“So you were just going to lie to me until then?”

“What? I never lied to you Josh! Nobody ever asked me!” Your face was starting to grow red with anger. “Why the fuck does it mater so much to you?”

“I don’t get involved with fans Y/N.” He said sharply unable to look you in the eyes.

“Is that really what all of this…” you said throwing your hands around frantically. “… is about?!”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then fucking enlighten me Josh!” You yell back.

He stepped towards you and opens his mouth to speak. Just then the door opens. Nora and Danny walk in with concerned faces. Surely they heard you.

“Lets fucking go Nora!” You barked as you stood up too quickly. She caught you on one side and Danny on the other.

“Is everything okay?” She asked in a hushed tone. Your eyes began to well up so you hid your face. That was answer enough.

“I can take her from here Danny.” Nora said.

“I will help you get her out to the truck.” Danny insisted. Nora realized she would probably need the help given your essentially non functioning lower extremities.

They carry you out to the truck. You try to hide your now flowing tears with your hair. Setting you inside and buckling you in. Danny pats you on your head gently and closes the truck door.

“What the hell did we walk into?” Danny asked Nora.

“I have no clue but I will talk to her if you talk to Josh?”

“Deal.” Danny said hugging her goodbye.

Nora started the truck reaching over to hold your hand. You turned your head away and closed your eyes. She placed a kiss to the top of your hand to comfort you before pulling out of the venue driveway.

The ride home was silent besides your occasional sniffle. Nora didn’t ask questions. She knew you were in no state to talk. She was hoping the situation in the green room could be blamed on too much alcohol consumption. She helped you into your apartment and slipped off your boots. Before she could get you into pajamas you were already asleep on your bed. She threw a blanket over you and set a glass of water on your nightstand. She slept in your bed as well to keep an eye on you.

You woke up to sound of the front door opening.

“Coffee delivery!” Nora yelled as she entered the kitchen with a tray of drinks and greasy breakfast food from your favorite diner.

You fell to you feet adjusting your dress and removing the hair from your mouth. You looked in the mirror and shuddered at the sight. Your once smokey eye was now resembling that of the grudge. Mascara tears stained your face and your hair looked like a nest belonging to a forest creature. Throwing your hair up into a clip you meet Nora in the kitchen.

“You are my savior Nora!” You say grabbing a coffee and a greasy brown bag of deliciousness. Taking a seat at your small table she follows closely behind.

“I like your new look.” She said flashing you a smile. “Very heartbreak chic!”

You knew you would have to tell her about the conversation you shared with Josh.

“There is no getting out of this one, is there?” You ask as you lay your forehead into your hands.

“I am afraid not.” She said placing a fry into her mouth.

“I really don’t even know where to start!” Still hiding your head.

“Well clearly he changed at the bar. Which I have to apologize for gas lighting you!” Nora said offering you a consoling hand. You reach out grab her hand in yours.

“You did nothing wrong! You were just trying to help me.” You tried to reassure her. “It was like once he found out I was a fan, he completely detached from me. Physically and emotionally.”

“What did he say in the green room?” She asked.

You retold the conversation the best you could remember.

“Who the fuck does he think he is? Stringing you along like that! We are absolutely not going to their show tonight!” Nora said in a fit of rage.

“What do you mean their show tonight?”

“Josh didn’t tell you? They are preforming there again tonight. Danny told me. He said Josh was supposed to invite you?” Nora said puzzled by your shock. “But of course he didn’t say anything because he is an asshole! I am texting Danny right now to tell him we will not be there!” Nora grabbed her phone typing so fast her finger could have caught fire.

“ Nora you can still go if you want. I will be okay. I need to rest for work tomorrow anyway.”

“Are you kidding me? I am not leaving you alone right now! We are going to eat shitty food, watch shitty movies and pretend that those boys do not exist!” She grabbed your hand with hers and pushed a stray hair behind your ear with her other hand. “You should also probably take a shower.” She said giggling at your appearance.

“A bath sounds really nice actually!” You respond.

“Its settled! You will get cleaned up and we can have a girls day! We could even do face masks! Oh and I can paint your nails!” She smiles rather happy with her plans. You agree to entertain her agenda for the day. Finishing up your meal you head to the tub. Lighting a candle and putting on your favorite Fleetwood Mac album you settle into the warm water. You instantly start to feel better.

“Fuck him.” You think as you sink deeper into the water. You were hurt but he was never yours to have. There was no promise or agreement between you two. Your life will go back to how it was before meeting him. You loved your life before him. But the familiar sting of heartbreak still hung around.

You put on your favorite pair of cozy pajamas and slippers. You joined Nora in the living room. She had an array of snacks and drinks layed out on the coffee table. She had already started watching your favorite show, The Office. It was your also on your favorite episode. The one where Dwight sets off the fire alarm in the building to teach fire safety. You sit next to her and giggle at the goofy antics on the screen.

“Face mask time! Also I only own pink or blue nail polish so you will have to pick the lesser of the two evils!” She joked knowing you never had color on your nails. She sat there pampering you while the show continued to play.

“I am sorry we didn’t get the chance to do this when we were kids Nora.” You said. The moment brought up feelings of melancholy. You always wondered what it would have been like to share your childhood with your sister.

“We get to do it now!” She chimed back. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You rescued me and gave me all of this!” Gesturing to your small apartment.

The afternoon turned into evening and you both began to feel sleep creeping in. You insisted on cleaning up as she went to bed. She obliged and headed into her room.

Just as she shut her door you heard your text tone go off in your room. Nora sprang from her bedroom door before you could even process the sound. She ran to your phone.

“If this is Josh I am going to give him a piece of my mind!” Nora said unlocking your screen.

From Josh

Can we talk?

“No you can not fucking talk to her you fucking douche cannon!” Nora yelled to no one.

“Nora please do not respond!” You pleaded. She huffed handing you your phone to see the text. Checking the time you take a mental note that he should be getting on stage soon.

“What are you going to say?” Nora said trying to calm her rage.

“Nothing. He is about to go on stage anyways.” You were not about to be left on read for hours. Nora throws up a questioning eyebrow. “Seriously I am not responding.” You throw your hands up defensively. “I will even leave my phone in the kitchen for the night.” You do as you as say heading to bed and Nora doing the same.

“Can we fucking talk?” You think to yourself. Nora is right. Who does he think he is?

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