#jim and maggie are so annoying

[starkidlabs]

Haven’t seen the new ant-man yet but I hate how they just made Scott’s found family disappear to cement that what is truly important is the nuclear family.

[maraczeks]

newsroom rw thread pt 13

[meatballlady]

It's time for the fandom to start Looking Where the Furniture Isn't

For a bit of background, one of my irl professional responsibilities is to identify and avoid making undue assumptions. There are a LOT of things that we humans assume. We assume that terminology means the same to other people as it does to us. We assume everyone has the same context of a situation we do. We assume that we aren't missing any information.

We operate on the information we have.

There was an ask before season 2 aired asking whether many of the plot points had been revealed by the clips (which almost all took place during the first half of the first episode). Neil's response was something like "oh you sweet summer children you know nothing yet." And boy was he right.

Neil Gaiman is a master of controlling assumptions. Just look at his Tumblr askbox replies.

Here's a few s2 examples of assumptions we all made (as I'm starting a rewatch):

Why did Crowley do the (very fun and distracting) apology dance? You might say it was because he walked out on Jim, but he never specified, did he? And Aziraphale was surprised that he proposed they would hide him "together"

How did Shax get a rumor about something going down in the Up (presumably) before Gabriel even went downstairs?

Did Jim need to bring Aziraphale something other than the box? He never actually specifies; Aziraphale just assumes it's the box.

Why did Aziraphale assume Maggie could feel [Michael, Uriel, Saraquael] arriving?

Why does Aziraphale say Heaven would notice even a small miracle? Crowley is seen doing a miracle before their large miracle (traffic light), and later Aziraphale makes the guy leave the table at the pub

To go deeper:

Are we assuming that characters are telling the truth? Example: "Miracles don't work like that," "[Extreme sanctions] was just something we said to frighten the cherubs" etc.

Are we assuming that nothing of note happened between apocalypse v1 and s2? (ex. the claims that Crowley didn't tell Aziraphale about the trial in heaven despite him referencing it in s2s1) What if we the audience are just jumping in near the end of this story?

Are these assumptions correct? Or are we just working with the information that we have?

Now that I'm looking for it, there's also SO many corrections of assumptions (usually for the sake of a joke, but still) (these are just the ones that happen while I type them out while watching e2):

"Can I be a blue one?" "You haven't annoyed me yet" "But can I be?"

"You recognized [Michael, Uriel, Saraquael] those people who were in the shop just now?" "Of course, they were in the shop, just now!"

"oh my god!" "blasphemy, angel, that's not like you", "no, oh, my god"

Many of the themes were about hiding things in plain sight: the kids (and kids), Jim, "aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear." Clue (1985) was heavily referenced in the lead-up. The whole point of that film was looking at what was going on elsewhere. Looking where the furniture isn't, you might say.

The more I watch s2, the less certain I am that any of it makes sense on its own.

I'm currently combing through it to see if there are any discrepancies with where people are (easiest example is when Crowley just disappears from the bookshop while they're reviewing the Job story). It'll be a lot of data and might not lead anywhere, but I'll definitely share once I finish looking into it.

I will also honestly admit that these things are all circumstantial, and I could be going insane. But they just keep cropping up all over the place. I've got a lot of time before S3 comes up and I intend to investigate the furniture. And try to not make assumptions.

[weirdmorefics]

How Are Hands Attractive? (crowleyxreader)

Pronouns-She/Her

Word Count- 1,078

Summary- Reader is a witch and close friends with Aziraphale and works at the bookshop restoring books. Aziraphale asks Y/n for romantic advice for Nina and Maggie which leads to interesting covo about Crowley hands.

The day was stormy there was hardly anybody out on the street because of the terrible thunder and lightning. I was peacefully sipping her cold coffee and restoring an old spellbook that Aziraphale found. The sound of the rain was very soothing and I did not have to worry about Jim short for Gabriel bothering me because Aziraphale told him bookstores are closed on Wednesdays. Aziraphale on the other hand kept interrupting my work so he could get my opinion on most romantic situations for Nina and Maggie.

"Y/n what do you think is the most romantic thing?" Aziraphale asks.

" I don't know. Hmmm maybe leaving me alone so I can finish restoring this book in peace," I respond.

"Seriously, Y/n the book can wait! This matter is of life and death! You are sort of human so you should know more about these things than I." He says looking me very seriously in the eyes.

I sigh and very gently move the book to the side. I take a deep breath " I have personally always found hands very attractive-"

Aziraphale interrupted "How can hands be attractive? They are just helpful tools. Books always say it's the eyes that are the windows to the soul."

"Don't get me wrong eyes are pretty as well but I have always enjoyed hands they help us create they help us hold on to each other. Why did you even ask me anyway if you're just going to think I am wrong. Also, I think we both know I lack any experience or knowledge on romance." I respond annoyed.

Aziraphale smiles at Y/n, "I guess I was just curious." Then his eyes light up like something just clicked in his mind. I think if he was a cartoon a light bulb would have appeared above his head.

"Y/n!" He gasps and I give him an inquisitive look. "You are always staring at Crowley's hands so does that mean!!!"

I quickly crossed my arms across my chest denying the accusation profusely.

Crowley enters the bookshop closing a soaked umbrella, "Who is always staring at my hands."

Y/n's heart nearly pounds out of her chest and she nearly knocks over her coffee.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed-" I quickly cut Aziraphale off

I come out from behind the desk I was working at and take the umbrella from Crowley, "Don't tell me that you were outside in this weather with an umbrella you could have got struck by lightning."

Crowley lifts his glasses down to look ME in the eyes "Are you serious? A demon struck by lightning would do nothing compared to the heat of Hell."

"How should I know I've never been to Hell," I whine.

Crowley kisses the top of my head and says "And you never will."

Aziraphale smiles a plotting a smile that scares me for what he is planning. He cups his chin with both hands and tilts his head "Crowley what do you find most romantic? Y/n has been telling me what she finds most romantic to help Nina and Maggie. I can see she has quite the type. I think we might even know the guy."

Crowley's face seems to turn sour at Aziraphale probably at the notion of discussing romance so I try to assure him it is unneeded to chime in. "Please ignore him he has been like this all day. He has not let me get a single thing done today."

Instead, he completely ignores me and walks up to Aziraphale, "So what does this man that Y/n fancies have for qualities that make her swoon."

"No, I can't say that would be betraying her trust," Aziraphale puts a hand on his chest and makes a big show of it like he didn't just start this whole mess.

"Come on Angel we are all friends here! Right Y/n? What can you tell the Angel that you can't tell me," he pouts.

"You bring up a great point, Crowley! Y/n can certainly tell you about the man she fancies I don't see a reason she could not! Let me start off I know she loves this man's hands she is always staring at them it is so obvious." Aziraphael smiles brightly and if my glare back could kill he would be dead.

Crowley circles me like prey as if my answer could cure him from hunger. "I've never noticed our little sorceress staring at hands that's very impolite to stare you know."

He calls me a nickname he uses for me frequently as he knows it annoys me. "You know what's impolite to spill others secrets Aziraphale" I glare.

Aziraphale straightens his bowtie, "You never said it was a secret if you had I would not have said a peep. I am very good at secrets you know"

"The thing is I just don't understand why there is anything to hide from your good old pals!" Crowley interrupts. "Unless this guy is someone unworthy of our sorceress's heart. Then in that case Aziraphale would have a duty to tell me."

"Do not be concerned this man I have known longer than anyone. No one could compete with him he is very kind." He quickly assures Crowley.

Crowley started to look like that time when Aziraphale took Gabriel under his protection, "So he is an angel... those are the only beings you have known for the longest. I swear to Hell if it's Gabriel he is not kind Aziraphael you have no idea what he said to me when I was you! I can not believe you let him stay here! He is worse than any demon!"

I quickly put my hand on Crowley's shoulder, "It is not Gabriel I would never do that to you."

Crowley's eyes softened as he looked into your eyes but only for a second before they turned into confusion, "What other angel do you even know on a personal level!"

I saw no choice but to come clean, "It's you! You idiot!"

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the heartbreak because I am no celestial being who will be around forever. I am just a witch I am really not that different from an ordinary human. But the heartbreak never came instead he held my face and kissed me deeply.

I was stunned speechless and he smirked "So you think my hands are romantic you say."

Bonus-

Aziraphael- Now both of you thank me! I also accept books as thank-yous Y/n has a list of the books of that I am on the hunt for! I also made photocopies of the list so you can carry the list with you at all times as a reminder.

Y/n- Shut up, Angel!

Crowley- Thank you, Angel

[fellthemarvelous]

Let's talk about Maggie and Aziraphale

Once again, I am just screenshotting my tweets and posting them here because I have more to say and Twitter's platform doesn't let me talk long enough uninterrupted.

Make way for more unhinged meta!

I cannot get this idea out of my head, and before you tell me that I'm crazy, just listen. Okay?

I think Aziraphale looks at Edinburgh as his Greatest Failure™️ because humanity and Crowley both paid the price for Aziraphale's mistake. It was a night that shook Aziraphale's confidence in himself, and it was a clear turning point for his understanding of shades of grey. He learned a valuable lesson at a horrific cost.

There is no possible way he has forgiven himself for Edinburgh.

When you are supposed to be the epitome of good, every single failure that carries any sort of weight sticks with you for the rest of your life because of the overwhelming guilt that comes with it. As someone who struggles with Catholic guilt...

Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.

Why does Maggie have a connection to a pub called the Resurrectionist, located in Edinburgh not far from the Gabriel statue in the cemetery where Wee Morag died and Crowley was sucked down into Hell? The Resurrectionist representing both Jesus Christ and Mr. Dalrymple.

Why does Aziraphale insist on taking the Bentley to Edinburgh with him?

He's scared to go back, and he's not risking Crowley's life again by bringing him along, but he takes the Bentley because it's an extension of Crowley, it makes him feel safe, and neither Heaven or Hell care for material objects and won't end up separating them again. It's a lifeline to Crowley while he's doing something without him and ensuring that Crowley won't be able to jump in and save him at the last minute if things go wrong.

He's scared to go back but he was getting extra copies of Every Day from one particular location nowhere near his bookshop before he even heard Jim singing it in the bookshop. And all of this ended up bringing him back to the statue of Gabriel where it all went wrong the first time Aziraphale and Crowley went to that cemetery together.

But I think the connection to Maggie is Elspeth. I keep going back and forth between her and Wee Morag, but Elspeth currently makes the most sense to me. I briefly wrote about the idea of lost souls and second chances here, but I'm still on the fence about it.

We don't know what Elspeth did with Aziraphale's money, but we know it was enough to turn her life around. We don't know who Maggie's great-great-grandmother is, but she has been keeping a little corner of the bookshop to "sell records" for Mr. Fell since the 1920s.

But if you look at the record art for Maggie's bookshop, some of them include all their tracks on the cover and they are telling actual stories. I've talked about Maggie's record shop before on this post. I'm still not sure what I believe, but the idea of it being Aziraphale's personal records keeps sticking with me. He's been around for a long time and there is a lot to keep up with.

Why is it so important to him that Maggie gets to dance with Nina? He told Nina he threw the ball so she would see that Maggie is in love with her, the same way he was going to use it to tell Crowley he loved him, but he was so delighted to see Maggie and Nina dance together.

And Aziraphale's love for Maggie isn't one-sided because she stays behind to help him even though she's up against something more powerful than herself. She refuses to leave him alone. She might be annoyed that he was interfering in her love life, but he's always been good to her and is probably the closest thing to family she has (we only ever see Crowley, Aziraphale and Nina talk to her).

She said she "had" brothers. Past tense. She stands up to Shax because she's no longer scared of...something. Nina tells Shax that Maggie is the bravest person she knows. Maggie comes up with the idea to spray the demons with the fire extinguishers. It might have been silly but it proves that humans are ready to fight back using whatever tools we have at our disposal.

Why didn't we know of her existence in season 1? We saw Maggie's chattering nun die onscreen. Was she one of Adam's additions to Aziraphale's bookshop? Where did she come from? Does Adam remember her face from when he was an infant? Sister Mary Loquacious (formerly) told Aziraphale and Crowley that the nuns had been very good at keeping records, but they all burned in the fire.

But Adam got a very good look at the faces of Sister Mary Loquacious and Sister Theresa Garrulous. He was an infant but he was still the son of Satan.

So is Maggie an Adam creation? Is she somehow related to Elspeth's existence? Why is she so important to Aziraphale?

[howdoyoudothedew]

Rated: G

Pairing: Maggie/Sophie/Nate/Sterling

Word Count: ~1k

A/N: Rewatching Leverage with my mom and asked my friend which of the ideas I have spinning I should write, she said 'leverage parents' so ta-daaaa, my beloveds. This is based off the dialogue prompt "No, I'm paying" which I got from a @otp-imagines-cult post

The second the waitress puts the check down on the table and leaves, the date turns into a warzone. Honestly, Maggie’s not even surprised at this point. She is, however, rather amused. Starting Leverage, getting together with Sophie, has been good for Nate. He’s more like the man she fell in love with and married, even if he’s still broken. (He was always broken, to an extent.) It’s good for Jim, too. The change to their occasional competition keeps him more on his toes and has even loosened him, if only slightly. Which is why this is even happening.

“How can I trust that money isn’t ill-gotten gains, hm?” Jim says, raising an eyebrow. Jim, Nate, and even Sophie all have their wallets out. Maggie has her own wallet out as well, but she’s not joining in. She already knows how this one will end. While they’re distracted, she pulls out her card and places it inside the booklet for the waitress to grab when she comes back. Sophie catches her and smiles, but doesn’t put away her wallet. Maggie settles back to watch.

“Why I never!” Sophie gasps, affronted at her money even being suggested as ‘ill-gotten’. “I’ll have you know I got this money off a very rich man fair and square. I barely even had to do anything before he was handing it off to me.”

“How do we know your money wasn’t ill-gotten, hm?” Nate says, raising his own eyebrow and sitting back with his arms crossed over his chest. Jim scoffs.

“Maybe because I’m not a criminal, unlike some people,” Jim says.

“Hey!” Sophie protests again. “I am not the only criminal at this table anymore.”

“Right, because you seduced Nate to the darkside,” Jim says, voice dry.

“I’ll seduce you next,” Sophie says, despite having basically already done just that, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You know what, I’m just going to pay,” Nate says, cutting them off.

“What? No, I’m paying, you paid last time,” Sophie says and Maggie files the information away, because she had paid last time, just like she usually does. Which means Nate had gotten Hardison to sneak some of his money into her account, so he could retroactively pay for it. Which is so many more steps then needed. Also kind of annoying. She’s not exactly broke and they don’t exactly do this terribly often. She can– and will happily– pay for her datemates herself. The waitress passes by, grabbing the book absently when Maggie subtly holds it out for her. None of the others notice, thankfully, too wrapped up in their argument.

“Absolutely not,” Jim says.

“Well someone has to pay,” Sophie says.

“I’ll do it,” Nate says.

“I’m not using money when I don’t know from whence it came,” Jim says.

“From whence it came? Who even says stuff like that anymore?” Nate scoffs.

“I do,” Jim bristles.

“If he’s gonna talk like that, I’m definitely not letting him pay,” Sophie says.

“What does my speech have anything to do with paying?” Jim says, rounding on Sophie.

“It’s too posh for my taste.” Sophie sticks her nose in the air.

“Says our Lady Charlotte Prentiss,” Nate mutters into his coffee.

“Oh now you want to get in on it? And here I was defending you.”

Nate gives a half-laugh through his nose. “No you weren’t, you’re trying just as hard to get us to let you pay.”

“You’re right, I wasn’t. Now let me pay,” Sophie says.

“No, I’ll pay,” Nate says.

“I’m paying,” Jim says.

“Absolutely not,” Sophie and Nate say at the same time, which is apparently Jim’s breaking point.

“Fine! Maggie pays then.” Jim throws his arms up as well as he can get away with in a fancy restaurant and Maggie can barely keep in the amused noise.

“Fine,” Nate says.

“Fine,” Sophie agrees.

Apparently an expert at comedic timing, the waitress returns then with Maggie’s card. “Here you go. I hope you have a good night.”

“Thanks, you have a good night too,” Maggie tells her, ignoring the boys’ shocked looks for now as well as Sophie’s amused smile as she returns her card to her wallet. When she looks back at them, she pretends to be oblivious. She lets her eyes grow slightly wide and blinks a few times. “What?”

“You already paid,” Nate says.

“Someone had to and you three seemed busy, thanks to Sophie,” Maggie says.

“Wha-” Nate stares at her, eyes narrowed. Maggie can see the gears turn as he goes over her words, Sophie’s actions. Finally, he turns to Sophie. “You knew,” Nate accuses.

“Of course I knew, I’m not blind,” Sophie says and Maggie chuckles.

“Then why’d you even bother to argue about it?” Jim asks, clearly exasperated.

“Well I’m not just going to let you and Nate have all the fun, am I?” Sophie asks, a rhetorical question. “Now who’s leaving the tip?”

“Oh no, I am not doing this again,” Jim says. You absolutely will, Maggie thinks to herself. Likely not now, but definitely next time.

“All three of us will leave the tip, since Maggie was so kind to pay,” Nate says.

“That, I am surprisingly okay with,” Jim says.

“Why must you ruin all my fun?” Sophie pouts at Nate, digging out a few dollars from her wallet.

“I’m sure you’ll find some again soon, Soph,” Nate assures.

“And will give me a headache in the process,” Jim says, also pulling out a few dollars. Sophie smiles at him.

“You love it.” Jim declines to respond to her. But Maggie knows Sophie is right. Protest as he may, Jim loves all of them.

“Ready to head out?” Nate asks, standing from his chair. Maggie follows his lead.

“I think so,” she says. “It was lovely to see you all again.”

“It was lovely to see you, too, Maggie. I wish we could do this more often,” Sophie says, taking Maggie’s hands to squeeze. Sophie’s hands. They’re always cold, making her think of the old thing her grandmother used to tell her: cold hands, warm heart. With Sophie, Maggie finally has evidence towards it.

“There’s a Picasso showcase at the museum next week,” Maggie says.

“You’re just trying to give me an aneurysm at this point, aren’t you?” Jim grouses. Sophie pats his cheek.

“It’s our way of keeping you young.”

“It’s your way of giving me more gray hairs,” Sterling says.

“Does this mean you won’t go to the museum with us?”

“Someone has to keep you from stealing a very expensive painting,” Sterling says.

“So next week?”

“Next week,” the other three agree and they part ways in the parking lot, Sophie and Nate leaving together while Jim and Maggie leave separately.

[abproductions2345]

Good Omens Oc!

GOOD OMENS OC! SPOILERS AHEAD FOR S1-S2

Name: Marie Fell/Crowley Age: 5 (S1) 9 (S2) Gender: Female Species: Human Sexuality: Bisexual Family: Aziraphale (Adopted Father), Crowley (Current Guardian/Father) Backstory (before s1 events) Aziraphale found her infront of the bookshop's door late at night and like the angel he is he took her in and raised her as his own, she learns he is an angel when she was 5.

in Season 1: Marie usually helps around the bookshop and gets snacks for aziraphale, she meets crowley when he visits and he finds her annoying, but when the antichrist rolls around aziraphale had to leave her being babysat by maggie the record shop owner, good thing she wasn't in the bookshop when it lit on flames , crowley thought azi died and how was he going to explain it to marie but good thing he wasn't and things slowly went back to normal

in season 2 Marie spots gabriel who was naked infront of the bookshop and aziraphale told her to go into her room as he deals with this problem, she doesnt know why crowley and aziraphale were so scared of Jim (Gabriel) she finds him nice and like a cool uncle to her, when aziraphale goes on his trip, crowely is left to babysit marie as they try to get nina and maggie to fall in love with some rain, there she and crowley form another father daughter bond, when the ball was set in motion and the demons arrived, marie helped hide jim and she hide in her room, but in the end of all of it she creeps on the stairs witnessing her papa kissing crowley and over hears that aziraphale was leaving, when he did, marie runs after crowley and hugs him, he was now her protector, for s3 its unsure but marie being in crowley's care makes her feel abandoned by aziraphale, she calls crowley "Dad" and its uncertain if her "family" would be whole.

The difference between Aziraphale and Crowley's care of her.

Her ask box is open btw

[minervas-hand]

Ineffable May Day 12: Clue

Day 12 for @blairamok's Ineffable May 2024

AO3 link here

[S2 Ep 2. Aziraphale talks to Jim after flashback to end of Book of Job (Companion to Owls minisode).]

Aziraphale floated back out of the bonds of memory. "Crowley- "

But Jim's voice answered. "He... went away." Aziraphale turned. "While you were thinking." 

He didn't blame Crowley. That had been a very difficult day, defying both Heaven and Hell. Hearing the Voice again. And yet it was the demon who had comforted him, after. After he had to lie to Gabriel, to God, to preserve what they had done. What Crowley had done. 

The right thing. 

The Gabriel of memory clashed with the corporation standing before him. Anger flowed through his form. "You know, you really used to be...awful. I mean, so awful."

He thought of Gabriel's extraordinary indifference to human suffering, to human culture, to human anything. They had been commanded to honour and love God's younger children. He didn't know if he could think of a single angel of his acquaintance who actually did.

And that snaked too closely to another angel whose love for Creation had brought him only dire calamity. Yet he was the one who hid kids in crows and children in pots. 

There simply was no comparison. 

Jim looked perplexed. "Am I awful now?"

He should be reassuring, but he just couldn't. He was too upset. "I don't know."

And Crowley had been so upset at the thought of harbouring Gabriel. Because of what Gabriel had done to him, when Crowley was him. 

"I hope not."

And Jim smiled, he actually smiled. Like this was all just tickety-boo. "Oh. Good." 

He stared, unable to shake his frown as he watched Jim wander off among the shelves. It was like he had - well, all the goodness of the original angels. Before the Fall. The quirky habits, the open enthusiasm, untempered by fear of reprisal. Asking questions...

A beloved face beaming with delight against the backdrop of stars...

He firmly shut the door on that image. 

Gabriel, of course, hadn't Fallen - after a 6000 years acquaintance with an actual demon, he could tell.  But all that had made him the Supreme Archangel was simply - erased. Leaving a sweet, if childishly annoying, entity in his place. 

And if he had to admit it, already more a person than Gabriel had ever been.

What had happened? And did he want to find out? Did he want Gabriel back, really?

But how could he not know? What if what happened to Gabriel could happen again - to any of them?

He picked up the record Maggie had given him. A mysterious Clue. 

He went out to find Crowley.

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

Hm. OK. Theories for s3 (some are purposefully batshit, some is fan service for me, some I genuinely believe in - you decide which):

- the opening is crowley and aziraphale walking on opposite ends, but meeting in the middle

- crowley is hanging around Maggie and Nina's shops

- he's trying to act "more demonic", but it's all the simplest pathetic things like stealing dog bones from dogs and gluing a shitload of coins on the ground

- Crowley however just keeps staring longingly at the bookshop. Muriel is fully aware of this and is like "it must be a demon thing"

- reunion at the end of ep1

- it's cause aziraphale found out what the Second Coming is, which

- I think a woman has become pregnant and they have to find her

- the Them come back, all grown up

- Warlock also is here, but she's now trans and calls herself Ash because of her favorite nanny

- Muriel gets roped into it, maybe feeling like they need to repair the husband's relationship

- new character!!!! Lilith, cause I really wanna see her and I think it would fit the world. In my oc, she's a human turned demon, so she has the senses and the animal characteristics but no miracles (that she knows of)

- either way, Muriel is gonna get a friend/maybe love interest

- Gabriel and Beelzebub also get roped into it, finding a place on Alpha Centauri and they are super annoyed

- But they end up both being apologetic to the angel and demon respectively and want to help

- Also Gabriel remembers his time as Jim and tells Crowley he remembers his threat. Crowley is a little like "yeah whattup" but Gabe's like "no I mean that's pretty protective, it shows you love him"

- Maggie and Nina come back, so now you got the team. They are just REALLY trying to get Crowley to leave them alone and to stop scaring off their customers

- the very first thing that happens when Crowley and Aziraphale meet each other is aziraphale does a hurried Apology Dance to try to get to explaining what the Second Coming is

- but Crowley refuses to work with him or refuses to open himself up or something like that

- some max angst where they finally Talk in a convo to each other but it's all painful

- canon Crowley doesn't remember much of Heaven and Aziraphale remembers him Before but Crowley doesn't, and

- Aziraphale admits he feels guilty for Crowley falling

- they gotta dance. Dunno how, but they're dancing now

- they're gonna be caught under the rain. Dunno how, but they're in an awing or however it's spelled now

- Aziraphale pulls down Crowley's glasses

- he says "please forgive me" to Crowley

- and Crowley's like "I forgive you" in a reeeeally sarcastic but playful tone

- Metatron and Shax (with Furfur as second in command) are the Big Bad. Michael, Uriel and Saraqael are antags, but maybe become sympathetic near the end. Same with demons like Hastur maybe

- the Book of Life is gonna try to be used, babyyyyy

- and I think that Miracle Blocker card will come back too. Either as a plot twist used by the antags as a All Is Lost Blake Snyder beat, or Crowley or Aziraphale use it in the dramatic climax

- but yeah, you got this team now working together to stop the Second Coming

- I have nothing for this, so maybe she has the baby and raises it normally or gets an abortion lmao

- and it's gonna be something like Crowley getting kidnapped by Heaven I reckon

- we see Aziraphale be ANGRY angry, barging into Heaven demanding for his Crowley

- just as Crowleys name is being crossed out in the Book, Aziraphale finds him and saves him (with a kiss or smth lmao), and their miracles work together to create one so powerful it fixes Crowley's name in the Book of Life

- it doesn't have to be the Book - I just really want true love bringing a person back from being destroyed or something, man

- and on that note, I think Aziraphale will do One Big Sacrifice to parallel all the little ones Crowley does for him. And it's going to be for Crowley, like saving his life or something

- I think it's gonna be a big thing though, like maybe Aziraphale keeping his powers but no longer being considered an angel. OR he gives up all his powers but is still immortal. OR he just becomes human, but something big

- (but I don't think Falling big, cause it's a nice way to show that despite him no longer being for Heaven and giving it up entirely, he still has the spirit and virtue of an angel)

- and whatever Aziraphale becomes, Crowley will follow, and then off to the South Downs cottage

- also God comes in, as a human body or something. But either way, She narrates the last part of the series cause now "the story is going exactly how it should"

- a whole fucking chorus of Nightingales sing in Berkeley Square

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Pretty cool answers got some more if that’s ok?

1: what is something the duo believes in? Like Bigfoot, mothman, etc…

2: what’s their opinion on cops in general?

3: you mention in a earlier post that Chris accidentally brushed his teeth with Jake’s toothbrush, was there any other gross moments the duo received?

4: you might’ve answer this before I think but what’s something that makes the duo really angry like super-saiyan angry?

5: what bets does the duo regular make? Like sees who’s faster for example?

6: what does the duo like to do with those respective girlfriends? Like hand holding, kisses on the cheek, etc

1) Well given that well….its the DCU where Greek pantheon gods, biblical demons, descendents of the Norse pantheon (New Genesis and Apokolips) and many others are all legit characters, it’s likely those cryptids indeed do exist anyways. Mainly the Duo though would give some attention in saying the Loch Ness Monster and the Congo’s Mokele Mbembe are real. Unlike in our reality, they have some actual evidence

2) Whilr they certainly have very good allies in Dan Turpin, Maggie Sawyer and especially Amy Rohrbach (in addition it of course Jim Gordon, Renee Montoya and even Harvey Bullock), Chris and Jake are overall more cautious around police officers in general and prefer not to overly rely on them as they both are aware of the systemic issues and structural problems many police departments have, the ones that we in the real world would acknowledge. This is especially true for Bludhaven as their police department is stated in being more corrupt than even Gotham’s.

3) Well, there only two incidents they are willing to talk about including the time Jake was dared by one of his classmates to not shower for a few days, hoping to break a record from an urban legend at their school. While he was able to beat said record by one messily minute, by the end of it he’d smelled and I quote from Chris “like if a foot and Brussels sprouts had a baby….who went Number 2 on their diaper.” Once Jake finally beat said record, Mar’i and Chris immediately gathered up some clean clothes, dragged Jake immediately straight to the bathroom and shut the door behind them so he can finally shower.

The other time would be when Chris and Jake love did some volunteer work at the local zoo, especially when it came time for cleaning some of the animal enclosures. Most difficult of all being the chimpanzees given their usual methods of warding off intruders. One of their ‘items’ they threw literally hit a fan (thankfully an air conditioner fan not a person) from across their habitat.

4) Easily hurting their loved ones and best friends like each others real badly and especially right in front of their eyes while gloating/laughing about it. During the brutal duel and beat down against Victor Zsasz on Jake, had he not been restrained by a power dampening anklet with traces of kryptonite in it, Chris for sure would’ve gone absolutely ballistic on the deranged criminal and rightfully so.

Also hurting innocents just to spite them or being careless is another way to get the two real ticked off. Even Chris and Jake have shown amazement on their ability to hold back during the few times Mongul nearly annihilated large swathes of Bludhaven and Metropolis, merely pounding him down rather than outright incinerating him.

5) Along with who can fly and/or run the fastest, they also made bets on Who can Eat Raw Onions without Crying (Chris won that one), Who’s the better poem writer (Jake), Who Can Curl Their Tongue (Jake again), Who can Annoy Hawkman first (Chris) and Who Can handle Spicy Hot Wings (like we’re taking spices including Habenero and Ghost Chili Peppers) with their Powers Shut Off and Without Milk (a Tie since they both made it two Twenty Wings before rushing for the Gallons)

6) Hand Holding, Quick Cheek Kisses, Sitting Close to each other when taking a seat, Paying for Lunches (Chris and Thara often make reservations at a local Big Belly Burger in Metropolis while conversely Jake and Meredith are regulars at a Bomp N Stomp in Bludhaven), Going to the Movies together (Especially Kaiju movies for Meredith of course), and helping each other out with their homework at their nearby libraries; all these are common place for the Duo regarding Thara and Meredith respectively

Thanks for the asks and your compliments @pin-crusher2000 . It’s very appreciated :-D

[wife-spotted]

wife masterpost:

abby (most important wife and actually real wife so aaaa)

uriel (angel wife)

azi and crowley (depression gomens wives)

muriel (silly wife <3)

beelzebub (fly wife)

maggie (record wife)

dagon (fish wife)

time wives (the doctor and the master)

murder time wife (missy)

dead time wives (bill clara river and rose)

alive time wives (martha donna amy rory nardole yaz and ruby)

lizard time wife (vastra)

victorian time wife (jenny)

scottish duck wife (scrooge mcduck)

worm wife (worm wife)

fire wives (agnes montague and jude)

dead grandma wife (gertrude)

mannequin wife (nikola orsinov)

lonely wives (peter and martin)

depression eye wife (jon my beloved)

wiggly wife (helen)

depression pirate wives (stede and ed)

homosexual pirate wife (lucius spiggs)

seagull pirate wife (buttons)

murder pirate wives (jim and archie)

sane pirate wife (oluwandu)

bear pirate wife (fang)

angry pirate wife (izzy)

welsh wife (michael sheen)

humerous wife (alice)

annoyed office job wife (gwen)

pathetic wife (sam)

scottish wife (colin)

[ivycryptid]

Notes On Season 2 of Good Omens

Good Omens Spoilers here!

So I ended up writing all my s2 reactions live on some sticky notes and I'm gonna post them here because a) it's tumblr, and b) why not!

Ep 1:

-JIM :D

-ahhhh

-Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy!

Ep 2:

-pfft the queen thing but Everyday (this might be ep 3, but it was on the ep 2 sticky note so)

-Jemima! <- the bue one :D

-"I lied", yeah I guessed that!

Ep 3:

Lindsey >: ?

-"ello, ello, ello"

-"I'm a Human police officer"

-Inspector! eeeee!

-It's amazing!

-eeeeeee! Muriel!

-the only ineffable thing in that is that they're husbands

-yellow :D

-hissing

-flies? Flies?

-heh, not brain surgery

-bad angel >:l

-he's got a point

-Mr Dalrymple is cool

-NO KIDDO!

-Crowley WTF?

-kaiju Crowley

-drunk crowley pfft

-that isn't how phones work...

-unless it is!

-very closed

Ep 4

Oh it's those nazis

The intercom guy's annoying

Cuppa fire?

Oh she hates crow>:[

Ehhh

Wierd tounge :/

:l zombies

The pub!

Dhftffvifx friends!

What is that voice?

Mr tennant? How?

Zira

Zira

Oh no. Kiddo!

:( i liked magic guy

Zira. Really? I'm getting second hand embarrasemnt from over here

Oh frick. The miracle blocker

Oh frick. Crowleyyyy!

No paperwork!!!

Woo!

Those were the magic words. Pfft

Shax NO!

Ep 5

Malignant and creeping sense of unease. Pfft

Tardis :D

Hey its s1 guy

Other peoples love lives always seem more straightforward than our own

And he's dead again

Oh no oh no oh no oh no

Not SMUT!

Jim :D

Drunk crowley don't do it!

Protective crowley :D

No don- oh thank goodness

Hot chocolate! :D

Muriel! Woo! I want to adopt her

She's a blorbo now :D

Eh shiny!

Fell whatre you doing?

Oh no Maggie!

no!

What in the world zira?

Ep 6

Muriel happiness

What is that outfit crowley?

Oh they're in LOVEE

eee

>:/

Maggie no!!!

And erics gone again

Some of those demons give me mechs inspo lol

Ahhhh i'm so worried

Makes sense in my head too nina

Co2 saves the day once again!

Fire trauma?Fire trauma

Muriel! Yes I'm going to continue this

Emotional support angel?

No

Well

They're eachothers emtional support

Woo, co2! Good on the corruption and demons!

Institutional problem Pfft

Eeeereeee Muriel!

Oh not the books!

Yeah ineffable bureaucracy real

He does the get wrong sticky outy thing :D

EVERDAY ITS A ROLLER COASTER-

Why am I feeling soft for ineffable bureaucracy?Also bigger on the inside

Oh no jim's gone :(

Oh He's alive

Eeeeee! Recordcoffee? (We need a ship name) Recordcoffee love!

Awwwwwwwwwww! Muriel :DDDDD

Talk you Idiots!

Eee Jolly Good!

No, don't do it zira!

We wrote unfalling but not like this neil!

Religious trauma zira!

Ndksvaksvksbsksbsjsh

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NIEL

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Ineffable sadness :(

THEY ARE TOXIC!

NSIWVHDBRK

ARGH AZIRAPHALE!

NO! DON'T!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*that was INCREDIBLY high pitched irl*

No nightingales :(

We could've been us

Mrghhhhhh

Internalized homophobia much?

Don't try to separate them Metatron!

Anyways s2 broke me :l

[violet-prism-creatively]

good omens s2 episode reaction: 1

hi! i've been watching good omens season 2 with my family, one episode a day, and writing down my reactions. it occurred to me that it would be better to post the reactions individually rather than all in one post. so here's the first one, from a few days ago! spoilers for s2 e1, obviously, but not for any of the other episodes.

[the rest of my reactions: e2, e3, e4, e5, e6 - links will be added as i post them]

starmaker crowley!! he's so happy! seeing him get excited about the universe is so cool! the dynamic where he's annoyed about his work and creativity going to waste and wondering why the plan is like that, and aziraphale is enchanted by the stars but warns him not to ask questions, is exactly how i would have pictured it. the wings moving to express emotion is a nice touch. the sheltering wing same as eden!!!! when they met on the wall of eden, they didn't seem to know each other, so i would guess their memories were erased but the instinct to shelter the other beneath their wing remained, which is so sweet. i didn't get a good look at how crowley's eyes were when he was an angel, obviously not snakey yet. 

the next time we see crowley being on the bench with shax where he's asking what's the point of it all hits even harder in contrast to his pre-fall self. i wonder why he's so cynical and why he hasn't spent as much time with aziraphale! did something happen between them?? i hope future episodes explain. 

"you only call me when you're bored, you want to tell someone about the good thing you've done, or something's wrong" (paraphrased). why doesn't aziraphale call more often??!!? or maybe he does, but crowley is interpreting his attempts at reaching out as boredom and wanting to brag about good deeds. either way, it's sad that their dynamic is so different from the fluffy post-s1 that most fanfic imagined. 

lots of focus on maggie and nina. i like them, but i wonder whether they'll actually be relevant to the story. they're so aziraphale- and crowley-coded though! dark color scheme/light color scheme, cynical/sweet, old fashioned/modern. from maggie's lines about not drinking, i already relate to her, growing up sheltered and deciding i'm not interested in partying because it's not the kind of thing a good girl like me would do. nina already being in a relationship is an obstacle to her and maggie's romance, but it seems like her current relationship is unhealthy from the type of texts that were showing. interesting effect to have them written on pieces of paper that pop up. 

the special effects on beezlebub are wonderfully creepy, and so is beezlebub zirself. (is neil gaiman's post about beezlebub using ze/zir pronouns canon?) the threat of being erased from existence entirely is especially threatening to crowley and aziraphale because if they never existed, they never would have stopped the apocalypse. 

gabriel/jim is delightful! i had already seen a lot of his funny lines in trailers and sneak peeks, but my parents and i definitely laughed. a lot of the lines have great meme potential. 

there's a lot of potential for angst in crowley's reaction to gabriel: crowley recognizes that gabriel was abusive towards aziraphale, but aziraphale himself doesn't recognize that. i wonder if crowley remembers being an angel and whether he has history with gabriel. 

i didn't love the michael and uriel in heaven scenes. it's cool that there's an angel in a wheelchair though! 

we got the song good old fashioned lover boy! unfortunately, not in the sweet way that so many animatics use it. although it blasting while crowley speeds toward aziraphale's shop is pretty good. 

good on aziraphale for demanding a real apology! the song and dance are hilarious. i've already started learning the dance just for fun. 

they seem to have dropped the narrator, which i didn't notice at first because the dialogue was very good on its own. it was a fun convention, though. i wonder if any of the main characters from s1 like adam and anathema will be appearing. 

my overall rating: 8.5/10. i think it would be a higher rating if i hadn't seen so much of the episode through sneak peeks already. there's an intriguing mystery set up! the dynamic between aziraphale and crowley is tenser than i was expecting- i hope we get an explanation for why- but i guess we still need conflict between them. seeing them again is like reconnecting with an old friend!

✅ discussion in the replies and reblogs - yes please!

❌ spoilers for the rest of s2 - no!

[chocolatepot]

Starting 2.05 ...

Kind of apropos of nothing specific rn, but it does annoy me a bit that this season is rewriting Crowley's goodness - it really felt to me (in s1 and in the book) like while he'd never been that bad in the first place, he'd become nicer through proximity to Aziraphale just as Aziraphale had been made more cynical etc. through exposure to him. Both of them changing each other until they came closer to meeting in the middle. Now Crowley seems rather static and just acting on Aziraphale.

Bribing the music shop guy with a rare Doctor Who annual ... Does Aziraphale keep tabs on all his neighbors' tastes in case he needs to pull their levers or did he just assess the man in seconds and Know he'd go for that? Or is it a Lucifer-ish "I know what you secretly desire" talent?

Very noticeable to me that Nina always says "partner" and the magic shop guy says "spouse" - nothing wrong with that, but I wonder whether non-fannish people are picking up on it.

Heh, Tennant in a fez. I like a very subtle ref.

What's the point of showing Aziraphale inviting Mrs. Cheng when there is no conflict at all there? It's not funny and doesn't advance anything. Likewise the French cafe - this is long and not very funny.

I LOVE that Nina is the one who wants to talk about the Christmas lights. And I loved that Nina's convo with Crowley took things up from "random person thinks they're dating, haha" to "no, they actually appear to be dating to outsiders because the way they interact is Like That."

"Far too pure of heart to be anybody's bit on the side" - So on one level I love this because that's the dynamic!! Crowley thinking Aziraphale is simply too pure to do anything as tawdry as have a relationship just for sex (it's actually because he's aspec but never mind, not for now). On another level, I'm like, come on now, you know he's always being selfish, "pure of heart" is a bit much.

"Other people's love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own!" Yeah, she said the theme of the season out loud.

"Smitten, I believe." Just me or does Aziraphale look for a moment like he knows exactly what he's saying there?

I would have liked more time spent on Nina actually dealing with her abusive partner, rather than just seeing her texts. Trying to assert herself or move past it. Could have done that with some of the wasted minisode time!

Like I said in my big wrapup post: very fanfictiony that Crowley actually addresses what Gabriel said to him as Aziraphale (because canons so often gloss over the stuff we want to dwell on, we want apologies and recriminations) but I like it. And I like that Jim!Gabriel is genuinely sorry that it happened, and that Crowley stops him from jumping out the window. The empty house analogy is cool.

The matchbox being from the Resurrectionist could have been hinted earlier, like we could have seen that they gave away matchboxes in that ep? Or did we and I just didn't notice?

The angels not being able to concentrate on Jim!Gabriel is well done. I still love Muriel so much. Pls pls pls bigger part for Muriel in s3.

"Everything else was taken." (Re cafe names.) Funny. Crowley and Nina's dynamic in that little conversation, Crowley convincing her to go to the meeting is not unlike the way he talks to Aziraphale when Aziraphale is being stubborn.

I love the slow transformation of the meeting into a ball, the costumes and set and dialogue and whatnot. JIM!GABRIEL'S SUIT OH MY GOD. "Tread a measure together."

The worldbuilding - "junior demons, practically the damned", do the damned eventually become demons?

Seamstress bit is a good callback to Discworld but TOO LONG. Should have skipped to the "description" after the first time she couldn't say "sex worker". Likewise the "Jim messes with his face and they think it's going to be a sex thing" gag.

Maggie is me, in that I inevitably end up asking other women to dance at reenactment balls because nobody asks me 🙃 Is kind of fucked up that Aziraphale is messing with everyone's head but I enjoy it so whatever. Not inherently more selfish than Crowley making it rain on them, I suppose.

Aziraphale making a move by pulling Crowley into the set 😭 It feels tricky continuity-wise in that he's kind of defined by NOT making moves, but ... it's cute.

"I'm hard work." "I'm not afraid of hard work." Oh, you mean not to me, not if it's you? (But it would have been nice to see how Nina is hard work, if she really is. Like with more screen time and plot events for her story ...)

The feathery coat is A+++. I like that the miracle to hide him backfires on them by making it impossible to let Jim come forward as Gabriel even when he wants to - good storytelling.

I do wonder about the intent of "You're a good lad." "Not either, but thank you." Supposed to mean "I'm not a young human, I'm an ageless demon" or supposed to be a marker of his genderqueerness?

[house-of-slayterr]

Zsasz Family Incorrect Quotes:

@keffirinne @jason-todds-bitch @flaysthings @howl-fantasies @animegoddexx

Maggie: You have to apologize to Y/N

Victor: Fine.

Victor: ‘Unfuck you’ or whatever.

Victor : Are you laughing at that video of Basil and Y/N fighting?

Maggie : No.

Maggie : I'm laughing at the comments.

Maggie : I’m gonna die alone.

Basil: Maggie , you’re not gonna die alone.

Maggie : Jim , was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake.

Victor : Uh-huh. Why is that?

Maggie : If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face.

Maggie : So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Lady With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake lady.

Maggie : Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE LADY!

Why is this one accurate 👀

Basil: I'm bored.

Victor : Wanna commit first degree murder?

Basil: Sure!

Maggie , hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Oswald down!!

Y/N : Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip?

Basil: Yea, I could drink legally!

Victor : I could hang out with the boys!

Maggie : I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

Victor : Why is Maggie crying on the floor?

Basil: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.

Victor : And?

Basil: They got Y/N .

Literally screaming, I can imagine the offended look of Y/N face and the smirk on Victors.

Maggie : We need to distract these guys.

Basil: Leave it to me.

Basil: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

V & Victor : *immediately begin arguing*

Ahhh yes, father daughter bonding.

V: Basil has no idea I’m high.

Basil: You’re high?

V: Oh, I’m sorry.

V, leaning over to Maggie : Basil has no idea I’m high.

Maggie , excitedly: Heeyy!!

V: Hey, someone's excited.

Basil, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

Maggie : So, are you two friends?

Basil: Yes.

Harvey : No.

Poor Basil doesn’t know how to make friends 😭

Harvey : What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter?

Maggie: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes.

Basil: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

Not me just projecting another special interest onto my character. 

 Maggie : Victor is okay.

Basil: They're okay? They said they were going to break my legs! And don't tell me they didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause they gave me the mackerel eyes, they meant it!

Maggie : Basil, Victor threatened me. They threaten Y/N every day. They probably threatened Jim before breakfast this morning. It's what they do. Grow a pair.

*Everyone is giving advice to Maggie *

Jim : It's okay to ask for help.

Y/N : You're not a burden.

Victor : Murder is okay.

Basil: Your feelings matter.

Maggie : What are you writing?

Selena : The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.

V, looking over Selena 's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

Selena : V! What did I tell you about lying?

V, looking down: ...That it only works on Maggie.

Basil : Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

V: Damn, if people did that to each other, Selena would've killed me years ago.

*Selena is telling a story*

V: Wow, Selena, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!

Basil : Romance?

V: I have a crush on them.

She would totally say this 🥺

Maggie : Basil , I am questioning your sanity...

Jim : I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

Jim : Basil , gather the others. We need to have another Maggie -is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.

Home girl really needs to stop running head first into danger, I swear!

Maggie : We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Basil : Jim , probably.

His petty ass would 😂

V: Happy birthday Y/N! I'm your gift!

Y/N, whispering to Victor : Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

And the step mom of the year award goes to…

Y/N: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Victor : But we lost V.

Y/N: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Victor : V, what do you have?

V: A KNIFE!

Victor : Okay, have fu-

Y/N: NO!

Y/N: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Basil: Homicide.

Maggie: Murder.

Victor : Homiecide.

Basil: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Maggie. They're mad at you.

Maggie: No, it's Y/N. They're just being gramatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Y/N: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.

Victor : A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Y/N: I stand by my choice.

V: How do you connect with a fictional character?

Y/N: What?

Victor : What?

Basil: What?

Maggie: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

Maggie : You three, explain right now!

Y/N : It was Victor .

Basil : It was Victor .

V: It was Victor .

Victor :

Victor : …fuck.

Maggie : You’re a loose cannon, Y/N .

Y/N : No, I’m not. I’m a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

V: I think you play by your own rules.

Basil : No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Maggie : Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Y/N : No, I’m just a reckless renegade. Victor is a loose cannon.

Victor : *smashes a chair* Aah! You shut your trap, Y/N !

Basil : I’d say Victor ’s more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. That’s an entirely different thing.

V: Now I’m just confused. Is Y/N a loose cannon or not?

Maggie : All right, put on a pot of coffee. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Y/N : *groans*

Victor : Aw, man.

Victor : Hey, Y/N, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Y/N: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Victor : No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Y/N: Can't really say I have.

Victor : You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Y/N: Sorry, Victor . For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

Where’s the lie?

Victor : I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Maggie: All I drank was Redbull!

Victor : How many?

Maggie: Eighteen.

Maggie: Hello Victor , made anyone cry today?

Victor : Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.

Kidnapper: We have your child

Y/N: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

Y/N: Oh god, you have Maggie

Maggie: Y/N, I screwed up, big time.

Y/N: Maggie, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

Basil : What are you drinking?

Maggie: Vodka.

Basil : Straight?

Maggie: No, gay. Why?

Maggie: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*

Basil : You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Maggie: I don't have time for their problems.

V: Hold on, I can explain!

Maggie: Really? Can you now?

V: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

Maggie: I'm going the fight the next person who insults V.

V: I hate myself.

Maggie: Alright, square up.

Harvey : Maggie, is that legal?

Maggie: When there's no cops around, anything's legal!

Harvey: *glares in cop*

Maggie, entering the room: *Sees Jim and leaves*

Jim , watching Maggie leave: There’s my monthly dose of Maggie…

Fucking accurate!

Basil : Y/N taught me to think before I act.

Basil : ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Victor : Go big or go home!

Y/N : Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

Victor : I'm going big!

Y/N , grinning: I have a knife!

Victor : Put it down, Y/N .

Y/N : Make me! *sprints away*

Y/N : Did you like the food I made?

V: No, not really.

Y/N : But I put my heart and soul into it!

V: No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

Basil: Are you mad?

Y/N : No.

Basil: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Y/N : Why are you drinking?

Harvey: I drink when I'm depressed.

Y/N : But you're always drinking?

Harvey: *smug grin*

V : I am in charge of this disaster!

Selena : I have a name, you know.

An: Yes I added Jim and Selena, there part of the ‘family’ through association. I don’t have to explain why uncle Harvey is here.

[infamousmonkey-cat]

I wasn't gonna do a reaction post this week for reasons that will probably become obvious but then I was annoyed at myself for not doing one yesterday, because I would have felt like SUCH a smartie pants for predicting that Ed was gonna fish up one of the bottles, and now I just have to hope that you will believe me that I did predict that in the privacy of my own mind (though I owe it all to that one post from weeks ago that was like "what if a fisherman found the bottles" so I can't really take credit but ANYWAY). But yeah thoughts below cut

This got kind of absurdly long whoops. Also I am inevitably going to say stuff that people disagree with but man I am begging you to be gentle with me. I am just trying to work through some of my feelings about the show and other people are going to have different feelings and that is FINE and nobody is under attack here and there is room for different opinions peace and love

Quick disclaimer: I haven't been reading a ton of meta or diving into the tag or anything, so if I say something wildly off about the fandom response at any point, it's based on vibes from what's been on my dash and I may have got the wrong end of the stick there.

I'll go ep by ep for the most part but this point applies to both eps, so I'll dive in first: I seem to be in a minority within the more active parts of the fandom in that I truly do not have strong feelings about Izzy one way or the other. I do personally feel that his characterisation in season two is not consistent with that in season one, HOWEVER 1) I have not expended a ton of mental energy on doing a deep dive into his s1 characterisation, so I'm willing to believe I've missed stuff [not actually convinced of this but don't care enough to put my foot down about it] and 2) it simply does not bother me. I consider Izzy to be a secondary character that they've decided to somewhat retool in between seasons, and I am basically fine with it. You know who else is different this season? Jim! It seems pretty obvious to me that the development of BOTH these characters is due to the influence of the actors, and honestly, that happens in TV. I DO understand people's frustration that a character who espoused views and behaviours that were fundamentally at odds with the whole moral premise of the show has been rehabilitated so easily, buuuut... I don't personally want a version of this show where Izzy's rehabilitation arc is given tons of screen time, either, so I am okay with just accepting it. ALSO, this s2 version of his character--while not necessarily feeling entirely earned--is considerably more fun to me! I'm really enjoying his bitchy little one-liners and his drag act and whatever. To make a comparison, I did see some complaints early on that Oluwande's relationship with Zheng felt rushed, but to me they fully sold it with their performances: it was easy to read between the lines that there had been a growing attraction between them for a while. Point being, I think we need to be okay with allowing some of the secondary character/relationship development to be elided, because it is not necessarily a priority to have it all put on screen in front of us.

Anyway, moving on to ep 6: I don't have a huge amount to say about the bulk of this episode. For the most part I really enjoyed it. I think Ned Low is a great send-up of the monologuing villain with a lot of psychosexual baggage, and I loved the way that was resolved. I'm probably the only person in the world who didn't already know this, but I looked up Hellcat Maggie because the name rang a bell, and she was a member of the Irish-American Dead Rabbits Gang in the 1800s, which was also known as the Mulberry Boys, and their enemies were the supporters of the anti-immigration Know Nothing party. Supposedly she used to file her teeth down to points. I am not making any of this up. [Bob Dylan voice] Go home and look it up on WIKIPEDIA*

Anyway: the party planning/coconut shack date, Calypso's Birthday and the Ned Low showdown all worked great for me. Some of the stuff--Ed shoving Stede behind him and begging Ned to torture him instead--was honestly a LITTLE bit tropey for my tastes, but hey, they're classics for a reason. I kind of think it would have been interesting to see the opposite dynamic (though of course we do see Stede trying to protect Ed in his own way later in the episode): we've already seen this kind of thing from Ed back in 1x09 with the British, so a role reversal might have been a bit more interesting to me (since this season has been so much about role reversal), but like this is a very minor niggle.

I think that Stede's disposal of Ned worked narratively and wasn't inconsistent with his character (I get the vibe that some people think it was?), and I think that Ned's line about Stede being a "pet" and Ed only liking him for his "bumbling amateur status" was some really rich stuff (and a callback to the QAR crew's description of Ed and Stede's relationship back in 1x06). And of course the whole "pet" motif has been running through season two as well: Stede's callback to doggy heaven, Ed's cat bell, even Wolf the bunny. There's something really interesting there, but I don't know if there's enough time left in the season to really get to grips with it?

Moving on to the sex scene: here I seem to be a bit out of step with my own small fandom circle, because I had mixed feelings at best about this. I've seen the argument that the show was obviously framing it as being romantic, with the fireworks etc.; I guess that's what bothers me about it, because to me it was so obviously... off. To be clear, I don't think it was in any way non-consensual or anything like that, and hey, the kiss, out of context? Amazing! But IN context--Stede has JUST had his first real kill, which has been framed by the narrative and the other characters as a big deal. Also framed as a big deal: Ed asking to take things slow in ep 5. Ed comes to Stede to "talk things through", and brings up his own most significant trauma--the death of his father (right after we saw a super quick flashback to some of Stede's own dad-related trauma)--and Stede cuts him off with a forceful kiss. To me, it feels kind of obvious that their first sexual encounter is being linked with violence and childhood trauma in a way that is not, like, fun or sexy or romantic TO ME, regardless of how the rest of the scene is shot and intercut (which is not me making a moral judgment on anyone else's feelings about this scene; just stating my own emotional reaction to it). IF the show wants us to find this hot/romantic, then it didn't work for me and I found it jarring. If the show wanted us to find this kind of destabilising and compromised, then it worked for me but I feel like we deserved better!

SO. Episode 7. I'm just going to be super upfront right at the top: this episode really bummed me out and I didn't like it. Not saying I hated every minute of it or that nothing worked for me, but overall I didn't enjoy it. I saw on the official OFMD Instagram account's stories a couple of days ago some footage from one of those preview screenings they did of these episodes in a cinema or whatever. The MC was like "how about those episodes!" and I remember thinking, "wow, the audience seems kind of weirdly muted". Well now I get it! I would have been too!

I've seen people saying that Ed panicking and running off to become a fisherman is a mirror to Stede panicking and running back to his wife in 1x09, which does track, but I actually think that the symmetry here is multivalent, and there are also echoes of 1x08, which for the record is my most hated episode of season one that I can almost not bear to rewatch--not because I think the WRITING is bad but just because it is a little bit too real for me, in terms of situations I've been in where someone I care about who supposedly cares for me lets the worst person in the world treat me really badly, picks them over me and then acts like it never happened and expects me to just be fine with it? I DON'T LIKE THAT!

So yeah, listen, I always felt like Ed leaving with Jack at the end of 1x08 and then immediately coming back was kind of a double beat, or even a triple beat. We already had him threatening to leave and then changing his mind in the previous episode, and then we have STEDE leaving in the following episode, so I always felt like it sat a little bit oddly for me. I do think it's an important and enlightening episode in terms of Ed's character and in revealing some of the underlying issues in their relationship that they need to address (plus giving us yet another flavour of toxic masculinity), but I don't know, it has always bugged me a little bit even beyond the fact that it is just too personally painful for me to enjoy.

Slight detour here--I'm gonna bring it back--to say that, while I am more glad than sorry that we have had so much BTS and promo stuff for the finale, it does create a little bit of a sense of inevitability to proceedings that undercuts any dramatic tension? Like, I feel like we can fairly confidently put together the beats of at least the first act of next week's episode. Those being: Ed has left, he is in a rowboat, he realises that Stede is in trouble--under attack from the British no less!--and heroically turns back to save his true love. So--basically the end of 1x08 again.

As much as I have been enjoying the narrative symmetry thus far, it's in 2x07 that it starts to feel forced, for me. While I can totally buy that Ed starts to regret the sex for all the reasons I mentioned above (though to be clear I don't think he regrets it until later), and that he's uncomfortable with Stede getting drunk and rowdy and playing into a pirate archetype that Ed wants to leave behind (all of this ALSO mirrors/reverses Stede and Ed in 1x08 btw), the idea that he would decide to leave forever to be a fisherman? This is the same guy who spent the first three episodes of the season totally inconsolable because Stede left him, and regained the will to live because of a vision of Stede? And now he's just voluntarily leaving forever because of one conflict? I... guess this accords with Ed's previous behaviour in 1x08, but again, that's always kind of bugged me. I don't know, man, I know they need to set up the big romantic beach reunion scene, but I feel like they could have had Ed go off fishing to clear his head after an argument instead, and that would have felt a bit easier to swallow for me. Sure, not as dramatic, but more believable.

So, this brings me to something about the show that I am starting to find a little bit disappointing, which is that... I feel like it keeps undercutting moments of tenderness and queer joy! It didn't bother me so much in season one, I think just because the show was such a breath of fresh air in so many ways. But now, having committed to being the queer pirate show and playing into that in the marketing and kind of rebranding the whole identity of the show as being a queer love story (which is always WAS but wasn't initially marketed as), I kind of feel like there's a promise inherent in that. And yet again and again I feel like we're getting the rug pulled out from under us. Like--Stede's beautiful love confession in 2x04 being immediately mocked by Anne and Mary (I know people love Anne and Mary but honestly it was getting a little too close to Calico Jack territory for me at times). Like the sex scene feeling (to me) weirdly compromised. Like Ned Low attacking the Revenge before Ed and Stede can dance together! Like Ed deciding to cut and run, AGAIN, at the slightest sign of trouble. And I know it's going to get resolved next week, and I feel like the release schedule for this season (not to mention only getting eight eps obviously) has been to its detriment. I understand why they felt like they needed to put out episode three in the first week because our guys don't even share the screen until then, but I think 2x07 MIGHT have felt a lot more palatable if it had gone out with the finale instead. I also think 2x03 and 2x04 going out together might have felt like a more natural pairing, and would have meant that I was not overwhelmed with misery after the first three eps (actually I still would have been overwhelmed with misery because of stuff in my real life but like, LESS so maybe). Although getting to savour the 2x03 end scene for a whole week was pretty great, and ditto 2x05, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Anyway. 2x07 felt really off to me, primarily in the characterisation of both Ed and Izzy, but also somewhat in the showdown between Zheng and Stede. I could understand it more if I felt that s2 had done a lot of work to establish that Stede is straying towards playing into a toxically masculine pirate archetype, but I think there are really only two times (prior to this ep) where this happens: the (dream sequence) opening of 2x01 and the third act of 2x06. Otherwise, we've seen him being really good at customer service, embracing the "tender" label from Zheng and fitting in with the Red Flag girls, counselling Lucius, saving his crew after the mutiny despite his heart being broken, bonding with Izzy, serving cunt in a cursed new suit, defusing the situation with Ned (until he didn't)--basically Stede has been really GAY this season? Like I honestly felt like THAT was the way he had swung, not towards performing violence and hypermasculinity. So Zheng's dressing down, while maybe working in the context of the scene or even the whole episode, doesn't feel well-integrated into Stede's season 2 arc to me.

Look, I'm going to leave it there. I know this is long-winded and rambling and I fully lost track of time and missed the window to use my Early Bird chest on Duolingo. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest I guess.

*Anyone on Dylan twitter gets this reference!! There's tons of crossover between tumblr OFMD fandom and Dylan twitter, RIGHT? Anyway it was a thing he said in the outro to 'Goodbye Jimmy Reed' at a concert the other night. It was funny because of his dramatic delivery of the word 'Wikipedia' followed by him immediately running out of momentum and mumbling "Wikipedia" again with zero confidence. It was some nice late-career Dylan stage banter. I went to see him around this time last year and man this R&RW tour is great, even though I saw it in a pretty bad venue. The best time I ever saw Dylan was at the Brixton Academy, he played the intro to 'London Calling', it was electric. The first time I saw him was at the NEC arena in Birmingham and it was kind of a letdown but I have fond memories of it anyway, I went with my dad. I was talking to this bartender the other week about seeing your heroes live and honestly it made me realise that I haven't been to any live music in way too long! I'm happy to say that I got to see Bobby Womack perform live right before he died--actually technically I didn't SEE him, you see I was volunteering at Latitude and the bar was perpendicular to the stage. However I COULD hear him. One time I saw Nick Cave live and a woman standing behind me fainted on me! It was pretty stressful but I'm still glad I can say I saw Nick Cave live you know what I mean? The dream would be to see David Byrne but I doubt I could afford it... maybe it'll happen who knows