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samkerrworshipper · 1 year ago

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pain, sweet, pain | leah williamson x arsenal team

leah’s return from her acl injury is nothing like what she wanted nor expected, but her team are there to help her up when she’s down.

content: hurt/comfort, angst, sadness, pain.

Leah’s never been a good loser.

Whether it was U8s playing with the boys, or playing for Arsenal, or playing for England.

She knows this, it’s both her biggest strength and weakness. She likes to think that it makes her a better player and person, because she experiences the highs and lows like nobody else, but realistically she knows that's just the part of her that hates that she feels so inherently deeply worthless when she team loses and it feels she's somewhat at fault.

Captain Leah would never in her wildest dreams blame a loss on anyone, because she plays an eleven person game, a team game, one person cannot take the sole blame for a whole 90 minutes plus stoppage time.

Leah, 26 year old Leah, who's just coming back from an ACL injury and feels like her world is ending, can’t do anything but blame herself.

Never in her life has Leah felt so worthless, so scared for the future.

She’s worked so hard, worked every single day of recovery, for her knee and for her mind.

She’d thought she was ready, and physically she is, but mentally absolutely nothing prepares you for the moment when you step back on the field for your first game as a starter and you play like absolute shite.

Leah’s worked for over a year, tirelessly, to get to this point, she’d dreamt about it her whole recovery, dreaming of a pinnacle, a perfect moment at the end of the treacherous path, it had seemed perfect.

Realistically, Leah knows that it was never going to look exactly like that, but she’d hoped for something more, happiness, joy, a good game, fulfilment above all else.

Yet, she’s left feeling the complete opposite.

Leah didn’t wait around on the pitch, she was inconsolable, and she knew it, she didn’t need fans seeing her vulnerable, she didn’t need Sarina who had travelled all this way to see Leah play look at Leah with that look of disappointment that you could always catch in the corner of her eye. Leah just couldn’t do it, she couldn’t ever bear to look at Kim, her captain who cared so deeply at her, she couldn’t face that, couldn’t face a woman who was the person who was supposed to keep her accountable but also pick her up when she’s down.

So Leah slips away, slips into the tunnel before she gets stuck in some stupid surface conversation with Alex or Jill, even though she’s desperate to catch up with them, she just can’t do it right now. Drawing with Man City feels like a loss, Arsenal are second on the ladder, the only team they should be drawing or losing to is Chelsea, or at least that’s what Leah’s brain is telling her.

She slips into the bathroom, going unnoticed by anybody in the tunnel and keeping her eyes on her cleats as she makes her way into the away team lockers.

Leah doesn’t sit down, she moves straight to the bathroom, stepping into the first stall and locking the door behind her before she slides down onto the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and her head down onto her kneecaps.

Leah can’t breathe, Leah can’t think, all Leah can do is sit on the floor, contemplating whether it was all really worth it, whether the fucking months of blood, sweat and tears amounted to this. She doesn’t think so, Leah’s telling herself that all of that time, all the wishful thinking, all of the bullshit that she put up with is pointless.

She is Leah Williamson, England Captain, European champion.

Yet she had never felt more like an imposter in her own body.

Alex and Beth had told her about how playing her first full game would be the best moment of her life, especially after sitting out for a whole year.

It was a big step, sure, she’d been getting on the pitch, but being on for ten minutes of stoppage time hardly counted as playing, when Jonas had told her that he planned to have her start the Man City match Leah was excited, ecstatic even, in hindsight it was false confidence.

“Le, honey, are you in there?”

Leah realises that there are tears rolling down her cheeks, subconscious tears of anguish that she hurries to swipe away with the hem of her jersey.

Leah tries to silence herself, for long enough that Lia will leave her be, but she inevitably knows that even though Lia phrased it as a question, she knows Leah is hiding in the stall.

Leah and Lia are…. confusing.

Especially for Leah.

It’s this weird friends with benefits arrangement that somehow started after Caitlin and Lia broke up, it wasn’t very long after Leah and Jordan had broken up and one drunken celebratory night they fell into eachothers bedsheets.

It was blurred lines, sex and emotions that neither of them were ready to face.

Leah loved Lia, in so many ways, but she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t be vulnerable in front of a person that she had frequent casual sex with.

The sex was a confidence booster, for both of them, it made them both feel better, stronger, and Leah was fairly certain that Lia seeing her like this would wreck that.

“Le, baby, open up for me?”

Leah knows that she’s shaking, it’s the middle of fucking winter in London and she’s sitting in a tiled, cold bathroom in nothing more than her uniform. She doesn’t care though, she doesn’t care about anything, the only thing she is thinking about is how the fuck she is going to return to the locker rooms without looking like a complete fucking wreck.

“Leave me alone Lia, I’m fine.”

It’s a blatant lie, both women know it. The breakage and croakiness in Leah’s voice is enough of a sign.

“Don’t be like this Le, whatevers up, we can sort it out together, just open up the door.”

Leah can feel the sickness rising up in her throat, can feel the pain and anxiety coursing through her bloodstream.

“Lia I told you to fuck off, get the fuck out, I’m fine.”

Leah only just manages to get the expletives out before reaching for the bowl of the toilet, the sound of gagging filling the silent bathroom.

Leah hates the acidic flavour that rises up from her throat and directly out of her mouth into the bowl, the clear white being tarnished with the slightly orange tinged bile, Leah supposed it was probably from the gatorade that had been handed out at half time.

“Le, honey, you can open the door for me, I won’t judge you.”

Leah knows that Lia is just trying to be nice, that the Swiss woman really does have a heart of gold and would never judge Leah, not even at her darkest moment. But her mind is betraying her, everything she believes in seems false.

“Lia get the fuck out.”

It’s almost a scream, definitely a yell.

The overwhelming silence that comes after it is deafening.

Then Leah’s ears are blessed with the sound of cleats slowly trailing away from her, it’s the first time since the whistle blew at the start of the game that she feels just a smidge of peace.

Leah tries to pick herself up from the floor, at least the toilet bowl, but it’s a losing battle, the uneasiness in her stomach suddenly forcing more bile up her throat.

Leah hadn’t eaten this morning, so most of it was just bile and liquids that she’d had before the game and at halftime, it burned her throat, making the already abundant ache so much more prominent.

It’s just as Leah is finally pulling her head out, swiping her long blonde ponytail out of the way that she hears the sound of a loud and deft knock against the stall door.

“Leah Williamson, open up, right now.”

Leah’s body shivers more than it was before, whatever gods are up there, she just prays that Kim didn’t hear her vomiting, or crying, or anything.

“I’m fine Kim, leave me alone.”

Leah sounds even more of a mess than she did a few minutes ago when she was trying to convince Lia of the same thing.

“I didn’t ask if you were fine, I told you to open the door.”

Kim’s Scottish accent is so deep, so enunciated in the way it always seems to be when she’s using her stern captain's voice.

“Kim, please just leave.”

Leah is pleading, something that she hates to do, but if Kim asks her once more with that voice she knows she’s not going to resist. So she’s not necessarily pleading to be left alone, but she is pleading for Kim to not push, to not force her to do something she doesn’t want to.

“Leah Cathrine, open the door now, if I have to ask again I will exercise other options to get to you.”

Leah hates how responsive she is to Kim’s voice, she doesn’t manage to get herself up from the bowl, but she does manage to reach one of her long and gangly arms up to the lock and flip it to the side, leaving the door unlocked.

It takes Kim a total of a second to fling the door open.

She doesn’t waste time in the doorframe looking Leah up and down, she steps into the stall, locking the door behind her immediately and sitting down against the door, where Leah had previously been sat.

Kim doesn’t say anything, pretends that she doesn’t notice the tear tracks and snot all over Leah’s face. Instead she extends a windbreaker out towards Leah. Leah shakes her head and Kim just shakes her head, still holding her arm out.

“Leah take the fucking jacket, I won’t be the one to tell your mother that you got hypothermia because you refused to put a jacket on after a game.”

Then it hits Leah, there are people here, at the game, for her.

Her mother, grandmother, father, brother.

Keira even managed to make the trip down just for this game, and yet Leah is crumpled over in a loo, having a fucking breakdown.

Kim shoves the jacket at Leah, and Leah just gives in, pulling it around her shoulders but leaving her arms out so she doesn’t have to remove them from the toilet seat, out of fear that whatever is left contained in her stomach will arise.

Leah and Kim stay that way for a while, Kim just sitting and watching Leah carefully, whilst Leah clutches onto the toilet seat.

She vomits once again, but this time it’s just stomach acid, it burns but it makes her stomach rest a little bit easier, easy enough for Leah to push herself up from the toilet bowl and rest against the wall beside her, so she’s diagonal from Kim.

“Don’t you have teammates to pep up?”

Kim just furrowed her eyebrows at Leah.

“Yes, you.”

Leah grimaces at that answer, she isn’t normally the consoled, normally the consoler, taking up the same job that Kim is right now.

“There are people who have bigger problems right now than I do.”

Kim nods, which throws Leah off a little bit.

“Yes, there are, but I think you’ve been needing this a lot longer than you’d care to admit.”

Leah can’t look at Kim’s eyes, can’t bear the amount of concern that is being directed at her, so she keeps her eyes on her cleats.

They’re muddy, and sopping wet, and Leah’s feet are shivering like crazy, her toes numb from the cold.

“Needing what?”

The question hangs in the air, empty but yet also so full with wonder.

“Needing attention, comfort, vulnerability, needing to not be the invincible Leah Williamson for a minute.”

Leah can’t disagree with Kim, even if she wanted to, it’s just a lie that Kim would catch her out on, and she’s dealt with enough disappointment today.

“I should be happy, on cloud nine, it’s my first game back.”

Leah’s voice betrays her, betrays every single thing that she’s wishing she was feeling.

“There isn’t anything you should be, there are things you can want to feel, but there’s no exact way that you should be feeling right now. Remember Viv’s comeback? Recovery isn’t linear Leah, you know that.”

Kim’s scolding her a little bit, she knows how to get through to Leah, she needs tough love, none of the soft pity bullshit.

“I played like shit, you should be yelling at me not sitting on the bathroom floor with me looking at me like I’m a kicked puppy.”

Kim cocks her head, this is how she works her way in, she doesn’t even have to ask the questions, she just slowly works the answers out, she can play the long game.

“You missed a few passes and intercepts, it's not the end of the world, so did everyone. Do you think I should be yelling at them? We had a bad game Leah, it happens.”

Kim’s words are strong, passionate, but Leah knows there is a lingering question hanging beneath them.

“Leah, how are you doing?”

It’s such a bleak question, so simple but yet so impossible to answer.

“I’m fine, I’m good, I’m back on the pitch, I’m happy.”

It’s all lies, Leah is fairly certain that she hasn’t felt fine or good in a few weeks now, and definitely not happy. She doesn’t think she deserves to feel happy, especially not when she’s been playing how she has.

“You know that you don’t have to sugar coat things with me, you don’t need to lie to me for the sake of trying to get me to leave you alone, it won’t work.”

Kim is probably the most stubborn and selfless person Leah knows, it’s normally the thing she admires most about the Scot, but right now she couldn’t detest it more.

“Leah, you do know it’s okay to be upset, or annoyed, you're coming back from a major injury, I’d be concerned if you weren’t feeling some of those things.”

Kim’s words are reassurances, she’s trying to send Leah into a false sense of comfort, enough comfort that she’ll start to open up to Kim, that she’ll finally let all of her walls and mental barricades down.

“Kim, seriously, I’m fine.”

Kim exhales, deeply, she’s letting go of her lenient side, breathing it out and expelling the soft part of her that was dancing circles around Leah’s mental state, hoping that she’d open up on her own, but it was crystal clear that was Leah was not going to be volunteering that information.

“Leah, have you been struggling?”

It’s a blunt question, and as Leah looks up at Kim with complete shock and fear on her face she can’t find anything besides concern and questioning in her eyes.

“What does that matter?”

It’s a deflection, a weak one, an attempt at trying to pivot Kim, Leah knows subconsciously though that it’s not going to work, Kim sees through it.

“I’m worried about you, I know a lot of the team is. I know you’re struggling Leah, whether you want to admit it or not.”

Leah forces herself to take a deep breath, the unwavering depth in her Captain’s eyes is unmissable, tormenting her from a metre away.

“Leah for the last month you’ve looked like you’re on the cusp of a nervous breakdown, and that’s okay, there is nothing wrong with that. But feeling that way for a whole month isn’t normal.”

Leah knows Kim is right, the older Scot is hardly ever wrong, she’s only seven years older than Leah, but sometimes Kim seems wiser than her mother, sometimes she treats Leah like her daughter, this moment is one of those moments.

“Kim, please just leave me alone.”

Leah is pleading, begging, praying that Kim will just leave her be, stop trying to make her feel things that she doesn’t want to.

“I’ll shut up but I’m not leaving you alone, not when you feel like this.”

Leah feels like Kim knows what she’s feeling better than Leah does, and that’s a weird feeling, knowing that Kim knows exactly what swirly weird thoughts are happening in Leah’s confusing brain.

“Leah, you’re obviously not doing very well.”

Leah cuts Kim off before she can say much more, because she’s honestly sick of hearing Kim’s half lecturing half concerned voice in her ear.

“Thanks for stating the obvious Kim, no, I’m not doing fucking well, I’m pretty sure a blind man could figure it out, so please, for gods sakes, leave me the fuck alone.”

In some strange way, it’s like music to Kim’s ear, hearing Leah openly admit her problems, because it means that Kim is slowly easing her up, slowly getting her to hone in on her emotions.

“Leah, talk to me, what’s up?”

All of a sudden Leah’s face contorts into one of genuine pain, and Kim feels her gut drop for a second.

“Kim I need you to just leave me the fuck alone like I’ve already fucking asked you too.”

Kim likes to think that she’s fairly lenient, she knows how much her girls, her teammates, can take. She knows how to handle most situations, and to an outsider, in this situation they’d probably say that Kim should leave Leah alone.

Kim knows Leah, just like she knows everybody else on the team. She knows that Leah, in all of her stubbornness and masking, often needs someone there for her, although she’d never admit it.

“Leah Cathrine, you can be as angry as you’d like, but you won’t talk to me or anybody like that, especially someone who is just trying to look out for you. Now, I’ll ask you once again, and give you the opportunity to answer me honestly before I haul your ass out of here and onto the bus. Leah, you know that I would never judge you, nobody on this team will ever judge you, and if they do they’ll have me to deal with. We all love you so much, you’re our Leah, our baby girl, and we all just want the best for you.”

Leah forces herself to take a breath, she feels more tears falling down her face as Kim’s words truly start to impact her.

“Sarina’s here, and I played like shit. My knee fucking kills, the olympics are in two months and I’m playing like shit. I’ve never had anxiety, never had a panic attack besides the euro finals, and all of a sudden, I’m a emotional fucking wreck and can’t get my shit together, I need to be better.”

Kim takes a good look at Leah’s franticness, it’s so unlike her, but also not unexpected.

“Leah, take some deep breaths for me honey, use your diaphragm.”

Kim’s voice has dropped a few octaves, and it’s lost all of the tension that was previously in it.

“Everyone on the team thinks I’m weak, stupid and weak, fucking useless.”

Kim stops Leah’s ramble before she takes it too far.

“Leah, listen to me. You are not weak, or stupid, or useless, or anything that your brain is telling you. You are recovering from a devastating injury. You are not perfect. You are doing your best.”

Leah looks up at Kim, with big doe eyes full of tears, she looks so helpless, like a young child.

“You are Sarina’s captain Leah, she’s going to pick you for the olympics. She’d be crazy not too, and if she doesn’t, which isn’t going to happen but with the off chance, then we can go watch them, or we can stay in London and work on your recovery. There will be people around, friends, family. You will not be alone.”

Leah doubts Kim, even though her captain sounds so sure she can’t help but feel a little bit insecure. Millie’s been doing her job for almost a year now, and she’s been doing a bloody good job of it, it makes Leah wonder if Sarina is even going to want her back, especially when her and Millie play the same position on the pitch.

“Leah, honey, I say this as someone who loves you and cares about you more than you’ll ever know. If your knee is hurting, then you should be telling the trainers, and not pushing it. You know your body, and if it’s hurting you need to rest. I know that you want to be playing, and you're finally allowed to so it’s this big deal, but you need to listen to your body and not hurt yourself further. I don’t want to have to tell Jonas and the trainers that you are playing through pain, so I need you to do it, before I bench you for endangering yourself.”

Kim hates how broken Leah looks, and if she could she’d pick Leah up and give her a big hug and say sorry for everything that she’s going through, and she’ll get to that, but right now, Leah is the most impressionable, and this is Kim’s chance to get through to her.

“Leah, every single person on this team loves you, no matter what. This team, this family, all of the love is completely unconditional, you don’t have to put on a brave face for them, I can guarantee you that if we walked into that locker room right now all they would want to do is make sure that you are okay. Nobody is here to condemn you, or make you feel like shit. We all care about you Leah, we’re all worried about you, not mad or angry.”

Leah looks up at Kim, her wobbling bottom lip between her teeth and tears, she looks so gutted, so much smaller than she really is.

“I failed them.”

It’s the first words that have left Leah’s mouth in a while, and it sends a sob barrelling directly from her lips.

This sob, this breakage, this sign of outward weakness speaks volumes to Kim, and it has her scooching over so she’s sitting beside Leah, their shoulders brushing up against each other. When Leah leans into the contact Kim raises one of her arms, putting it across the back of Leah’s shoulder blades and bringing the younger defender into her body.

Kim leans down, pressing her lips to Leah’s forehead, letting them linger for a little bit.

“Leah, honey, no matter what, you could never fail any of us, even if you had ten own goals in a final, none of us could care less, your our Le, our super star. You could never fail us.”

Leah forces herself to take a deep breath, to compose herself, Leah Williamson does not cry.

Except today, today she does, for so many different reasons, and yet absolutely no reason.

“I just don’t want to disappoint anybody, everyone needs me to be good, everyone expects me to be good.”

It’s like a mantra to Leah, a reminder, it’s her bible.

Leah Williamson does not lose, Leah Williamson does not disappoint, Leah Williamson cannot be a failure.

Yet today, it feels like she’s done all of those things, and it’s too much for her, too much for her heart to handle.

“Leah, I’m not wanting to rush you, we can sit here for as long as we have to for you to feel better, but the bus is waiting for us, and I know the girls really want to see you. Plus, my old lady knees are starting to cramp up in here.”

It’s lighthearted, but Leah feels the pressure fall down on her chest like a stack of heavy bricks.

Kim sees the change, and she does exactly what Leah needs, she brings her into her lap for a bone breaking hug.

“They’re going to be mad.”

Leah’s voice is a murmur, low and so quiet that Kim almost misses it.

“Leah I can promise you nobody in that room is going to be mad at you, proud, happy, overjoyed, yes. But one hundred percent not mad. We’ll go out there, get you changed out of these freezing clothes, you can talk to whoever you’d like to. We’ll leave the changerooms, there will probably be people there to talk to you, maybe Sarina, maybe so people from the press, probably your mum. Talk to whoever you want to, then we’ll hop on the bus and get back to the hotel. Okay? I just need you to be brave for me and do it, because I know you can, all of us girls know you can, okay?”

It takes Leah a little bit to nod in agreement with Kim, but eventually she does, her head lifting from its spot buried in Kim’s windbreaker.

“C’mon then, let’s get you up.”

Kim uses all of her strength to lift herself up off the floor, the pre match soreness has settled into her bones and muscles and she makes an internal joke about the old age really starting to get to her.

Once she’s stood up properly she reaches to pull Leah up, even if her back is aching and her knees are sore.

Leah’s unsteady on her legs, like a baby with sealegs, or a newborn baby horse. Kim has to quite literally manhandle Leah into leaning onto her, her arms wrapped around Kim’s much smaller form.

It’s uncomfortable, but Kim makes do, unlocking the stall and dragging Leah over to the sink.

“Wash your face off honey.”

Leah takes one look at herself in the mirror and is instantly shocked, her eyes are thoroughly red rimmed, puffy and altogether Leah just looks like a complete mess.

She leans down to the sink, turning the faucet and washing some of the ice cold water over her face. It doesn’t do much, it doesn’t really do anything besides wipe the tear stains from her face and make a little bit of the redness subside. Not enough to make it look like she hasn’t been crying herself sick, and definitely not enough to make it look like she has her shit together.

She wants to tell Kim to go ahead without her, but one look at the Scottish captain through the mirror tells Leah that anything she says is going to be useless.

So she swallows and spits a little bit of water to clean the acid taste from her mouth and then she stands herself up, righting her uniform and leaning herself back onto Kim, her legs and stomach feeling as uneasy as her current metal state.

When Kim makes it to the door of the bathroom, Leah feels her stomach drop, plummeting to her feet. Kim doesn’t hesitate, even with Leah draping her studs down against the concrete.

Leah keeps her head down, completely ashamed and unable to look at the faces of any of her teammates.

Kim leads her over to her cubby, sitting her down on the seat gently before sitting herself down in front of Leah, pulling off her soaked cleats and leaving them on the floor for later.

“Leah, honey, look at me please.”

Leah struggles to take her eyes from her lap, where her hands are sitting, fiddling aimlessly with the skin around her nail beds.

She eventually does though, keeping her eyes solely focused on Kim’s face, not letting her eyes travel to any of her teammates.

“You need to get changed, but my knees are really sore so I don’t think I can hold you up by myself, I need to go see one of the trainers. Who would you like to help you?”

No one.

That’s the answer that bounces around Leah’s head.

“I can do it myself.”

Leah’s words come from a stubborn mindset, the mindset that is making her feel even sicker for being so openly vulnerable.

“How about Viv and Beth, or Katie, or Jen?”

Leah hates all of the options, because they all include her having to be vulnerable with more people.

“I can do it myself.”

Kim rolls her eyes, her face still as stern and set as ever.

“It’s not up for argument Leah, I’m going to go get Viv, okay?”

If Leah had to make a choice, it would have been either Beth or Viv, because both of them have been through what she has, but Viv is the better option, because she won’t try and make jokes with Leah.

So Leah allows Kim to get up from the floor in front of her, and wander off to wherever she has too, to find Viv.

It’s about thirty seconds later that a pair of white nike shoes show up beside Leah’s sock covered feet.

“Leah, liefje, kom voor mij op?” Leah, love, stand up for me?

Leah’s not fluent in Dutch, she can’t speak a word of the language besides some simple conversation and basic terms of endearment, but for whatever reason she understands Viv perfectly.

Using the wall of her cubby as a crutch, she stands herself up, looking at Viv with a lot of questioning in her eyes.

Viv doesn’t wait for permission, she just reaches for the bottom of Leah’s jersey, lifting it up until Leah’s forced to put her arms up so Viv can pull it over her head.

Before leah’s left shivering, Viv’s helping her pull a long sleeve top and hoodie over her body, making her once freezing body a little bit warmer.

Once Viv has the hoodie pulled around Leah tightly she moves to her shorts, once again not waiting for permissions and tugging them as well as her compression shorts down.

Before she tugs the sweatpants on though, she secures a knee brace and ice pack to Leah’s knee.

Leah’s almost embarrassed about the fact that she nearly moans when the ice makes contact with her knee, the cold contrast feeling so incredible on her inflamed and sore skin.

Viv then moves onto the sweatpants, pulling Leah’s feet through the bottoms of them and then pulling them up and over her knees gently before securing the pants loosely around Leah’s hips.

Once her clothes are on, and Leah is feeling a little bit happier and spacey from the welcome warmth, Viv sits her back down on the bench.

She pulls Leah’s socks off, dutch simplicity leaving her lips as she gently applies, newer and softer socks to Leah’s feet, Viv’s warm hands gently rubbing over Leah’s feet as she pulls the socks over her toes and ankle, before pulling out a pair of ugg boots that Leah has never seen before and tugging them onto her feet.

Normally, Leah would revolt against the break of uniform, but she’s too tired, too vulnerable, too broken to care.

Viv can apparently tell, because in a few seconds time there is a group of girls flanking her, all with the same soft, calm expressions on their faces.

Katie, Beth, Viv, Jen and Lia.

“Hey baby girl, time to get you to the bus hey?”

It’s Beth’s gentle voice, quiet and soft.

“M’ sorry.”

It’s the only thing going through Leah’s brain, endlessly repeating like a record that keeps replaying.

“Hey, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for and we’ll talk about it on the bus, but we just need to get you there, okay? So Viv and Jen are going to help you, Katie will grab your things and I’ll make sure that any press stragglers stay away, okay?”

Leah feels defeated, and broken, but she nods anyway.

Jen and Viv reach down to pull her up, Beth leading the way out of the change rooms and back into the tunnel. Luckily, there are no stragglers, and the trip is fairly easy, Kim joining the group somewhere along the way with ice packs secured to both of her knees but she looks as if she's in good enough spirits.

They manage to manhandle Leah onto the bus and into a seat, cocooned between Kim and a window.

Kim whispers sweet nothings in her ear the whole ride home, reassurances that Leah doesn’t really hear with her ringing ears.

It’s actually Viv who brings Leah out of her trance, pulling Kim out of her seat beside her so Viv can sit down.

Leah, liefde, listen to me for a second please.”

Leah takes a deep breath.

“You did everything you could have, we all did everything we could have, this is not your fault nor your burden to take. None of us will accept you taking the burden for this. You can’t allow yourself to, because this,” Viv’s hand falls on Leah’s puffed up knee, covered with an ice pack, butLeah understands what she means.

“Is not going to get better if you don’t allow yourself to heal mentally. We’re all here for you, we’re all going to carry you when you are down, please Leah, for me, for your mum, for anybody, just let yourself rest. We’ll review, and as a team we will get better, but we need you beside us getting better as well, we need you out here leading the team, like we all know you can. Take a night, reflect and then come back tomorrow with the mindset that you have something to prove, to us, to Jonas, to Sarina, yes?”

Leah looks at Viv, looks at how genuine she is, how she definitely knows exactly what Leah is feeling.

The words linger for a few seconds, before a mass of Arsenal hoodies are piling on top of Leah and Viv, a struggle of arms and hands securing themselves around Leah.

It’s warm, happy and loving.

It’s everything that Leah has been working to create in this environment for years, not for herself, for everyone around her. But having it come back to her, it hits her like a freight train, and suddenly, or not so suddenly, Leah realises that she’s not doing everything by herself, she doesn’t have to when this is her team.

#woso #woso community #leah williamson #arsenal wfc #leah williamson x arsenal #kim little #baby vivi #vivianne miedema #leah makes me cry #i love leah williamson #golden retriever leah vibes #love angst #i love some hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #im hurtin #marry me rn

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wosoimagines · 6 months ago

Text

Told You So

part 6 of rivals

Jo gets her first start of the Victory Tour in her home state, and the team finally gets to meet her family.

2,832 words

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“Guess what I’ve got.”

I grinned as Hope tilted her head to the side. I tapped at my chest.

“Hope you brought all the good trash talk today, Solo. You’re not gonna stop anything I throw at you.”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Pip.”

I pouted at the nickname. I was sure that I would have grown out of it by now, but Hope had been adamant about making sure it stuck around.

“Jo!” I whirled around to look at Becky who did not look happy with me. “Stop taunting the goalies. Get to work!”

“But that’s no fun,” I whined, although I was already starting to move to the opposite side of the field to get ready with the rest of the forwards. “You don’t have to be so boring all the time.”

“If you don’t get your butt over there, I can really be boring for you,” Becky assured, “I’ll make sure you do all of your school work on our off day.”

I shook my head at that as I started to jog across the field.

“Always ruining my fun,” I grumbled knowing that the mic would pick it up. “I’m sixteen. I think I’m allowed a little fun, right?”

My eyes found the camera that was following me as I gave it a little shrug.

Once I reached the other forwards, Christen was quick to join my side. We didn’t initially say anything to each other as we warmed up. That was until Christen tried to nutmeg me, but I moved my heel just enough to keep the ball in front of me.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Tobin,” I said as I pointed at her.

Christen shook her head at that.

“You’re in a really good mood. Your exams go well?”

“I was exempt. All A’s.”

“That’s good. Get you into Stanford with those grades.”

“I know some others who would object to that.”

Christen rolled her eyes at that. I had been hearing everyone hype up their own college, but I ultimately hadn’t decided where I was going to go just yet.

“So, what does have you so happy?”

“We’re in Texas. This is my home game. Jill told me she’d start me since I saved up all my tickets for the year so my family can come.”

“You had to save up all of your tickets?” Alex asked behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder to look at her before nodding.

“But that’s almost thirty tickets,” Christen pointed out.

I furrowed my brow in confusion. I hadn’t been shy about talking about how big my family was.

“I have twelve siblings. That’s why they couldn’t go to the World Cup. There’s just way too many of us.”

“You have twelve siblings?” Alex asked. I nodded. “Did your parents never hear of a condom?”

“To be fair, I was a complete accident,” I admitted. “Marley was born when my parents were nineteen. Five of my siblings were born back-to-back years.”

“You were an accident?”

“Yeah, no one told my parents how long they should have actually waited after my dad got a vasectomy. Nine months later and there I was.”

“They’re all coming?”

“Yeah! And my niece, Sky. I can’t wait for you guys to meet Sky. She loves the team.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “She watches all the games. I think she’s the only one who knows more about soccer than you just need to get the ball into the back of the net.”

“Well, then I can’t wait to meet her,” Christen said as she ruffled my hair.

I grinned at that before we were all called to huddle so we could start our drills.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean you aren’t coming?”

I ran a hand through my hair as I paced in front of the foot of my bed.

“I have an important interview scheduled, Jo,” Mom said causing me to scoff. “It could boost the book sales. And our family is expected to be there to support me. We’re supposed to be showing a united front.”

“Yeah, because nothing screams united like missing your youngest daughter’s victory tour. I don’t even know why I try to invite any of you. It isn’t like I’ve been asking the team to save all of my tickets for the games throughout the year to make sure everyone in the family could come.”

“You’ll have other games,” Dad cut in. I shook my head at that. They didn’t get it. They never did. “Us missing this game isn’t going to kill you.”

“When was the last game of mine you went to?” I asked. Both of my parents went silent. I couldn’t even remember myself. “You couldn’t come to the World Cup, which is the biggest stage I’ll ever play on. You didn’t come to my national team debut. Those I could somewhat understand because they weren’t in Texas. But this? This game is in Texas. It’s San Antonio. It’s only three hours and you’re telling me you won’t even make that trip to watch me?”

“We have more important things,” Dad said. I tried to blink away the tears that were starting to pool in my eyes. “We’re trying to think about the family.”

“How about for once in my life, you think about me? It’s always been the family. No one has ever been there for me. Not really!” I snapped. I let out a laugh of disbelief. “The only person who has even cared to learn anything about the sport I love so much is Sky! You couldn’t even name half of my national teammates. You’ve never cared about soccer past whether I was a good player or not. The only time you’ve had something to say to me was when I lost. It’s never when I win.

“I won the World Cup and I stayed silent when no one in this family besides Sky celebrated it because I knew that this game was going to happen. Silly me for believing that this family would actually show up to celebrate me for once! I had to watch as every single one of my teammates was able to celebrate with their family while I was left alone! You will never understand what that’s like!”

“You want to talk about never understanding?” Dad snapped back. “You could never understand that sacrifices that your mother and I have made for this family!”

“That’s your responsibility! You’re the ones who decided to have a family! It’s up to you to take care of us and make those sacrifices! I’m not the one who should be suffering just because I was the kid you never wanted!”

“We’ve never said we didn’t want you,” Mom defended. I didn’t fight the tears this time. “You and most of your siblings weren’t planned but we have always wanted all of you.”

“Do you?”

Both of my parents went silent at that. They had never shown true interest in what I was doing.

“You both have a funny way of showing it.”

Before either of them could respond I ended the call. I tossed my phone to the side, not caring where it ended up, before throwing myself on the bed. I curled into a ball as I grabbed a hold of a pillow. I let out the loudest scream I could muster up as I just let the tears fall from my eyes.

I didn’t even think too much about it when the pillow was pulled away from me and replaced with a person. I didn’t mind either even as someone else hugged me from behind as well.

“It’s okay,” Becky soothed as she rubbed my back. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Jo. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

It didn’t take much to deduce that the person who had pried me away from the pillow was Alyssa. Especially once she started to run her hand through my hair. And with the emotional toll talking to my parents had already taken on me, it wasn’t long before I was falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I blinked my eyes open before I wiped my face. I frowned as I glanced around at the room. I tried to get my bearings, but it just felt like I couldn’t get over how disoriented I currently was. I could have sworn that Becky and Alyssa were here, but there was no trace of them.

I reached over to grab ahold of my phone where it was sitting on the nightstand. I didn’t even remember picking it up after I had thrown it to the side. But then again, I wasn’t even sure what time it was.

8:17 pm.

Shit.

Dinner was nearly over. I scrambled from the bed and into the bathroom. I turned on the sink and quickly washed at the tear tracks that were on my face. I couldn’t let any of my teammates know that I had been crying over something so insignificant. They had finally just started to look at me as if I was actually worthy of being on the team. I couldn’t let anything risk that.

Once I had decided that my face was cleaned off enough that I wouldn’t get any questions, I grabbed a hoodie that was sitting on the desk chair before pulling the hood up over my head. I didn’t even bother with the elevator. I was much more likely to run into some of my teammates that way. The stairs were much safer.

I made it through the doors of the mess hall that we had set up downstairs just before they stopped serving our meals. I was a bit surprised by how empty the room already was, I knew that most of the team liked to hang around and just chill with each other. But Becky and Alyssa were sitting at a table with each other with an extra plate.

Becky was the first one to spot me and waved me over to join them. As if I ever ate with anyone else.

“Feeling better?”

I froze at Becky’s question. So, I didn’t make up Becky and Alyssa being with me in the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I refused to look at either of them as I focused on my food.

“Jo,” Alyssa started as I tried to shovel my food in my mouth as fast as I could, “it’s okay to be upset about it.”

“Seriously, guys,” I said, once I swallowed the food in my mouth, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“So, you don’t want to talk about a call with your parents made you cry enough that you eventually fell asleep?”

I pushed the plate of food away from me as my fork clattered against the table. I met Becky’s eyes as I clenched my jaw.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I said after a moment of silence passed between the three of us. “I’m usually much better about making sure no one has to see that.”

I didn’t waste any time standing up. I knew that I could at least hide away with Rose and Sam. We had, after all, gotten close while at the U-20 World Cup a year ago.

“Jo.”

Alyssa tried to catch my hand, but I was quick to shuffle away from the two of them.

“I’m not hungry anymore.”

I didn’t give them any time to say anything else as I left the mess hall. I knew that I would regret not eating my dinner, but I really wasn’t in the mood to eat right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you know that we love having you,” Sam started, causing me to raise my eyebrows at the taller player, “but Becky keeps asking us to make sure you’re fine. Like multiple times a day.”

I rolled my eyes at that. I had initially thought that Christen was just messing with me when she told me that I would never be able to escape Becky and Alyssa being my team moms now.

“Did something happen that we need to know about?” Rose added.

“Everything’s fine,” I assured. I had been so adamant about making sure that I wouldn’t be anywhere near Becky and Alyssa the past couple of days that I had even knocked out all of my homework for the entire trip. “Becky’s just dramatic. Really wish she’d learn that I don’t need a second mother.”

“Hey,” Rose said, drawing my eyes from my phone to her, “Becky’s just worried about you. It’s a little unfair for you to be upset with her when we all are.”

“Yeah, well, there’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Jo,” Sam softly said, “You’ve been avoiding Becky and Alyssa for the past two days. Something obviously happened. Becky seems really worried about you.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Look, we’re not asking you what it’s about,” Rose said, as she grabbed my phone when I went to look at it again. “We’re just asking that you check in with Becky. Sam and I don’t mind you staying in our room, but we are getting tired of Becky constantly asking us how you’re doing.”

I sighed at that. I knew that it wasn’t Rose or Sam’s fault. It wasn’t even Becky or Alyssa’s fault.

“Yeah, sure,” I said. Becky at least deserved to know that I wasn’t mad at her. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. After the game.”

“Jo-”

“After the game,” I reaffirmed when Rose tried to say anything. “I just need to make sure that my head is in the game since I’m starting.”

Rose and Sam looked between each other before Rose nodded in agreement.

“But you have to talk to her.”

I nodded at that. It was a fair demand if I was going to still be here in their room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grinned as I jumped up onto Sam’s back. The older woman grunted but she steadied herself.

“I’m not a horse, you know.”

“Come on, Sammy! I scored a hat-trick. Gotta keep these legs fresh.”

“Try an ice bath.”

I shivered at the thought.

“No thanks,” I said to Sam.

Sam huffed, but she didn’t fight to get me off her back.

“Saw that your family is here,” Rose spoke up. I nodded at that as my eyes found where my family was sitting in the stands. “You weren’t lying that it’s huge.”

“Did everyone think that I was?” I asked. Sam and Rose both nodded their heads causing me to huff. “No one ever believes me. Not even my friends at school. Am I really that hard to trust?”

Both Sam and Rose froze at that.

“Not hard to trust,” Becky assured me as she and Alyssa joined our little group. “But twelve siblings is a lot. Kind of hard to wrap your head around.”

I slid off of Sam’s back. I knew that I needed to talk to Becky and Alyssa without anyone else butting into our conversation.

“I can explain it all to you if you really need me to when we get back to the hotel.”

Rose and Sam both shook their heads at that before making their exit to greet the fans.

I looked at the two for a moment before rubbing at the back of my neck.

“I was never mad at either of you.”

“We know,” Becky said. She reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. “We were never upset with you. We just worry about you, Jo.”

“Yeah, and the whole running off didn’t help,” Alyssa added. Becky was quick to elbow the goalie’s side. Alyssa glared at Becky. “Hey! I’m just trying to tell her that she worried us more by running off then just talking.”

“I’ve never had anyone to talk to,” I admitted. Both of the older players looked at me. “I have twelve siblings and not a single one is that interested in soccer. Plus, Elvis and Mick are the closest to me in age and they can be assholes.”

“Siblings usually are,” Alyssa agreed. “But they’ll always be there for you.”

“I’m just not used to it,” I said. They two looked between each other causing me to motion to them. “People actively caring about me. I mean, they care. My family. I know they do, but there’s so many of us that things just don’t seem as impressive anymore.”

Becky reached out to pull me into a hug along with Alyssa.

“Well, you’ll always have us. Promise.”

I squeezed the two a bit tighter before Alyssa forced her way away from us.

“Okay, go spend some time with your family. After all, Becky didn’t convince them to come just for you to ignore them.”

I paused at that as I turned to Becky.

“Thank you.”

Becky nodded before pushing me away.

“You’ll have to bring Sky to the locker room with you,” Becky said with a grin. “Go enjoy the time with your family.”

I nodded before rushing off over to where my family was.

#uswnt imagine #woso imagine #leah williamson imagine #uswnt x reader #woso x reader #leah williamson x reader #uswnt imagines #uswnt #woso imagines #woso #leah williamson imagines #leah williamson

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lipglossanon · 10 months ago

Text

Guess Who?

Puppy!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader (Valentine’s One Shot)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, hybrid au, Leon POV, soft boy Leon 🥺, slight dirty talk, kissing, unprotected sex, creampie, knotting, slight breeding kink

Barely looked over ✌️ lol

title from Guess Who? by BB King

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!! 💜 this is me dropping a card in your decorated box to say I think you’re cute 😘

He notices all the sweet smelling candies and flowers on your last trip to the grocery store, but it didn’t really click that it was for the holiday coming up until your friend dropped off a silly card.

Resting his head over your shoulder, he reads whatever made you laugh hard enough to draw his attention. You hum and reach back to scratch him behind the ears.

“What’s that?” He asks, pressing against you more firmly as his tail wags.

“Ah, just a silly Valentine from Claire. She’ll be out with Rebecca and Jill later and stopped by to invite me along,” you move your hand to tuck the cardstock back into its envelope.

“Oh,” he steps away, tail pausing mid-wag as he realizes he didn’t even get you anything and you’re going out!?

Turning, you give him an easy smile, “Don’t worry, I told her I already had plans. We’re going to watch movies tonight, right?”

He grins and wraps you up in a hug, “Uh huh. And you promised popcorn.”

Laughing, you ruffle his ears before cutting yourself off with a swear.

“Dammit, that’s what I forgot to get,” you sigh and rub the bridge of your nose, “let me run to the store and grab some and when I get back we’ll cuddle on the couch.”

Leon nods quickly and follows on your heels as you walk to the entryway and slip on your shoes. You give him a quick kiss on the cheek before closing the front door and locking it. As soon as the lock clicks, Leon takes off to his room. He digs through his wardrobe and under the bed before completely demolishing his closet.

Although he may have not gotten you something for Valentine’s per se, he did have something he’d been meaning to give you but always slips his mind. He found a pretty lavender bracelet that reminded him of you during one of the last farmer’s market expedition ( he knows it’s mainly an excursion in socializing him with strangers, but that’s neither here nor there).

It’s cute and he thinks you’ll like it. Plus, he attached the very first tag you ever gave him onto it as well (just seeing his name engraved in simple cursive makes his tail wag). Spinning in place, he turns back to look over his destroyed room. Ignoring the complete mess he’s made, he roots around until he finds a piece of crumpled paper and a couple of pens. His ear cocks back and he turns his head to listen— the crunch of gravel signals your car pulling back up the house.

Now on borrowed time, Leon turns the paper longways so he can quickly write out his message and encircle it with a heart. Tossing the pens into the mess on top of his dresser, he grabs the bracelet and beelines it straight to the kitchen. It’ll be the first place you head into after entering the house; making sure to set out the paper where you’ll see it, he sets the bracelet on top. Then, he ducks back around the doorframe on the opposite end so you won’t see him.

“Leon!” You call out as you open the front door.

He makes himself stay put as you call for him again before shutting the front door. Listening with rapt attention, he holds his breath as you walk into the kitchen, setting the popcorn down as you notice his note. He watches as your fingers graze the paper, a big smile spreading across your face. Picking up the bracelet you slide it on your wrist and twist it back and forth to admire it before turning back to the paper.

“You like it?” His voice comes out small as you jump and turn to face him.

“I love it, Leon. You’re such a sweet boy,” you coo, holding out your arms for a hug.

He chuffs happily and wraps you up into a bear hug, smothering your laugh into his chest. His rough tongue licks across your ear and jaw before he finally finds your smiling lips, kissing you messily while your hands grip onto his shoulders. Before he lets himself get carried away, he pulls back, dropping one last kiss on your cheek.

“You wanna start the movie while I get the snacks ready?” You murmur, hands lightly petting the nape of his neck and making him shiver.

He stiffens against your thigh, cock filling out as his eyes dilate.

“Miss owner,” he whines softly and you laugh.

“Go on, we’ll snuggle up on the couch,” you kiss the vampire bite of freckles on his neck and pull away from his body heat.

With a dazed pout, he makes his way back into the living room and dramatically collapses onto the couch. Even if you’re not there to see it, it’s the principle of the matter. After a few minutes, he smells a buttery aroma at the same time his ears pick up the sound of kernels popping. It’s not too long before you walk into the living room carrying drinks and a big bowl of popcorn.

He helps you set the drinks down as you sit next to him. Once settled in, you flip through your watchlist and settle on a romcom you’ve been promising to watch with Leon since last week. He watches you out of the corner of his eye while he picks at the salty snack you’re holding in your lap. Halfway through the movie, you shift the empty bowl onto the coffee table and pause the movie to go wash your hands.

Leon stretches his legs out until they’re tucked under the table, slumping into the couch cushions lazily as he waits for you. Coming back into the room, you smile at his relaxed demeanor and sit back down next to him.

You curl up into his side, head resting against his neck as one hand pets his ears slowly. His tail half wraps around your waist and shifts when you sigh against his skin. Your lips drop soft kisses up to his jaw and he tilts his head to meet the next one with a groan. He loves licking into your mouth; it feels so dirty and good. You moan against the muscle as he runs it across your gums and tongue.

“Miss owner, please,” he pants out while you kiss back down his neck.

“C’mon be a good boy and just watch the movie,” you tease, nipping at his jawline, “you’ve been bugging me to put it on for ages.”

He huffs, head lolling against the back of the couch as you press closer into his side, one hand delving under his shirt to tease across his nipples. Leon rocks his hips, cock tenting the joggers obscenely as your fingers feather over his sensitive buds. You pinch one gently and he groans, precum blurting from his tip and wetting his sweats.

“So cute,” you nuzzle his collar bone, “wanna pull it out for me?”

“Yess,” he hisses under his breath, hands fumbling with the band until he’s able to push the loungewear down to pool at his calves.

He hears you inhale as his dick bobs, flushed and thick, dripping precum all down his shaft.

“Please, touch me,” he whispers against your temple, eyes fluttering shut when he feels your hand grip him softly.

“S’good,” his tail thumps as your hand slowly strokes his dick from tip to base and back up, squeezing the head in your fist.

Letting go, he whines and paws at your hips as you stand up. You shush him as you shuffle your own sweats and underwear off before straddling him. Sandwiching his cock against your cunt, the fat tip parts your slit until his cock notches against your drippy hole. His hands grip the fat of your ass as you sink down inch by torturous inch until you’re fully seated in his lap, dick being squeezed by your pussy walls.

“Miss owner, s’all wet ‘n soft inside,” Leon bares his teeth before whining as you tug on his ears, “pussy’s so good, so perfect.”

“Leon,” you gasp, knees digging into the couch next to him as you raise up to drop back down, letting gravity drive his cock up into your soaked cunt.

“Such a good boy,” your voice drips like honey from your lips and his hips rock up, humping your pussy as pleasure shoots through his body.

“Yeah?” A high reedy moan sticks in his throat, “I’m a good boy?”

“Oh the best, Leon, the best boy,” you gasp, eyes drooping when his cock grinds against the front of your cunt, rubbing across the spongy spot that makes you clamp down on him tighter.

“So sweet,” you lean forward, arms bracing your body on the back of the couch, “so sweet to me, w’nna show you much I appreciate it.”

He grunts, the new angle letting him thrust up harder into your pussy, the loud wet sounds of his cock pistoning in and out of your cunt echoing in your living room.

“My sweet pup,” you murmur against his lips and he can’t take anymore.

Leon yanks you close and stands up to splay you out, back pressed down on the couch, with him buried between your thighs. His hips rabbit against yours, pelvis smacking your clit making you squeal and claw at his chest. With a huff, his rough tongue rasps across your panting mouth, tongue delving between your lips. You moan as spit fills your mouth while Leon fucks your cunt rough and deep.

“Gonna cum, Leon,” you finally pull your head back enough to moan.

“Already?” He bites your bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth before letting go with a pop.

“Want my knot, pretty owner? Want me to give you my pups?”

You thrash underneath him, pussy clenching and pulsing around his cock at his words.

“Please, Leon,” you wrap your legs around his waist, “knot me, wanna feel my good boy fill me up.”

“Fuck,” he growls, chest rumbling with the sound.

He reaches between you and thumbs across your clit in slow firm circles. His dick feels like it’s in a vice as you bear down on him, back bowing with pleasure.

“Leon, oh god,” you choke out a loud cry and press your head into the couch cushions, tears beading your waterline.

He watches you fall apart while feeling your pussy squeeze and milk his cock, pressing himself deep until his knot sinks inside and locks him into your spasming hole.

“So good little owner,” he sighs happily, tail wagging behind him while he pumps your tight cunt with load after load of sticky cum.

You giggle, high on endorphins, and run your hands through his hair, eyes tracking his bracelet, “I love the gift, Leon.”

“Mmm, happy you do,” he kisses you on the cheek, nose snuffling against your skin, “Happy Valentine’s.”

“Happy Valentine’s, Leon.”

divider: saradika

#lipglossanon #lipglossmasterlist #hybrid au #hybrid!leon s kennedy #hybrid!leon kennedy #puppy!leon kennedy #puppy!leon s kennedy #puppy!leon s kennedy smut #puppy!leon s kennedy x fem!reader #fem!reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #puppy!leon #puppy!leon kennedy x fem!reader #valentines day

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cosmic-metanoia · 11 months ago

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Masculinity Concepts in FFXVI

***Spoilers for Final Fantasy 16***

I wanted to focus on the concept of masculinity in Final Fantasy XVI.

I really love how we see different aspects of masculinity portrayed in the characters. I won't go over every male character in the game but I'll mostly focus on the Dominants along with some side characters.

*Clive - I have a whole character analysis post dedicated to him but to highlight a couple points - he has many wonderful qualities that make him very admirable not just as a man but as a person. Despite his handsome looks that we all know and love, he has a surprising softness inside him and wears his emotions on his sleeve at times especially when it comes to Jill. We see moments when he bares his soul and weeps out of sorrow or joy which makes him more masculine, in my opinion, not less.

*Joshua - His masculinity is incredibly refreshing as it is the complete opposite of toxic masculinity. His face has soft and almost feminine-like features. He may have spent his young life being physically frail but he demonstrates a fiery strong spirit. He has this honest chivalry to him yet views everyone as equals and has a gift for poetic words as a result his study of books. He is merciful and incredibly kind but is unafraid to demonstrate his prowess on the battlefield like his older brother.

*Cid - Now this guy is your classic smokin' cowboy archetype but with MUCH better attitude. He oozes masculine charm, wit, and charisma but he uses it for the betterment of society and to persuade others to join his revolutionary cause. But his motives are candid and straightforward. I love how he didn't exist just to flirt, be eye candy, or simply be the comic relief. He becomes the mentor whose legacy lives on through Clive and bonds the hideaway folks into a real family.

*Dion - He IS the reason why Sanbreque was able to tip the scales to its favor - because he is the powerful Dominant of Bahamut. He is the prince but he climbed the ranks and earned the respect of his elite dragoons. He exudes military spirit and possesses a flair for political language as a future leader yet has a sense of honor and duty to his people. And along with that I can bring up Terence who is also a military man and climbed the ranks to be by Dion's side. Their love for each other is tender and beautiful and perceived as just another aspect of themselves.

*Kupka - Now this guy is your typical gym bro and is quite the buffoon (I cracked up when Sleipnir says something like "seems Hugo's head was filled with rocks afterall.) He gives the strong impression that he does not respect women (ahem, that servant he kicked) with the exception of Benedikta who could care less about him. Kupka is your stereotypical toxic masculine type.

*Barnabas - Another villain who uses his masculine aura to dominate and overpower. Even when it came to the intimate scene with Benedikta, he certainly gives the impression that carnal pleasure is just a means to an end. Benedikta knew immediately that he'd throw her away as soon as she lost her use to him. Also... I mean...the dude carries a huge sword like he's trying to make a statement LOL!

In terms of side characters, we see that even the hardened Blackthorne is encouraged to open up his feelings which (through many side quests) he is eventfully able to do and make peace with his past. We see the rugged Otto and his eyes brimming with tears when speaking about the late Cid or about the Bearer son he lost. We see Goetz as the gentle giant who is working on his own self-confidence. We also see Gav who gets emotional after a few kegs of ale and cares deeply about Edda and her baby. And even Uncle Byron who shows his sense of power through his financial generosity but loves to put on a good show (he would be quite the actor in Shakespeare theater!)

There are many male characters that I missed but I wanted to focus on a handful of characters. We're so used to seeing the typical battle-hardened and gruff heroes that eventually claim victory over their enemies and get the girl. It's nice to have a story where you have men with different pasts and drives that pull them forward to their futures.

I will also (hopefully soon) write about the female characters as well! :)

#ff16 #ffxvi #final fantasy 16 #final fantasy xvi #joshua rosfield #clive rosfield #ffxvi spoilers #ff16 spoilers #dion lesage #sir terence #hugo kupka #barnabas tharmr #cid telamon #gav ffxvi #cidolfus telamon

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getmeoutofhell · 1 year ago

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All ghostface x reader

Also a little bit of Charlie x reader.

Summary: you and the group are all sitting with each other (basically in the gif) and you find out Ethan likes you. Check out: chat before reading this story.

A/n: since NO ONE ELSE writes about the whole group with reader, I’ll do it. I’m not the best at writing so there might be mistakes. ❣️

Warnings: language/nsfw stuff!!

“Do you think y/n would go out with me?”

Ethan asked the rest of the group that question.

“I’m sorry, what? Y/n is way out of your league.” Amber told him, slightly chuckling after.

Stu started laughing, along with Billy and Quinn. Ethan’s face started turning red. Which made Jill join the conversation.

“Oh my gosh. Your face is red.” Jill pointed at Ethan’s face, as she was sitting beside him. He rolled his eyes (insert the gif)

“Whatever.”

“I texted y/n, she said she’ll be here with Charlie soon. Also Ethan, your pull game is ass.”

“Let’s be nice Mickey, maybe Ethan hasn’t really dated before and this is new to him.” Roman looked at Ethan.

“I can definitely tell he hasn’t dated before.”

Amber, Billy, and stu starting laughing together.

“Okay guys I get it. Y/n won’t wanna go out with me. You guys can stop laughing.”

His face just kept getting redder.

“Charlie you ready to go?”

“Yeah I’m getting my shoes.”

“Okay I’ll meet you in the car.” You and Charlie did go on a date yesterday, yet you didn’t tell the others, for reasons of course…you guys didn’t put a title on things, since you don’t know what you would title it. We aren’t together but we are together. Friends with benefits maybe? You don’t know. So you just go with flow you suppose.

You were now sitting in the passenger seat of the car, waiting for Charlie to take you to meet up with the group. Your phone dinged and you got a text from Jill.

“Please hurry and come see this bozo. His face is so red from talking about you.” The text read.

You knew it was about Ethan already.

“I’m not a bozo.”

Ethan read Jills text and she typed it to you, face still slightly red.

“Get out my phone weirdo. Plus you are a bozo.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“Damn what’s taking y/n and Charlie so long. It’s hot as hell and I’m thirsty.”

“They’re probably fucking Amber, who knows.” Amber chuckles at that comment from Mickey.

“Hey ya’ll!” You and Charlie started walked throwds the group.

“Well it’s about damn time, what took y’all so long?”

“Well Roman, we had to go to the store to get y’all some drinks.”

You handed each of them their drinks out of the bag.

“Anyway, Ethan over here wants to ask you out.” Jill said as she opened her drink, looking at you.

“No thanks from you guys? I spent about 30 dollars for y’all some drinks.”

Thanks and thank you was what the group told you. You went to sit next to Charlie.

“Okay so, what was y’all talking about before we got here?” You spoke to the group as you drunk from your drink.

“About Ethan’s pull game. It’s straight up ass. Also he wants to ask you out.” Mickey said.

“Y’all keep carrying this joke out. He doesn’t like me like that.” You we’re slightly getting frustrated with them every time they say stuff like that. You didn’t believe he could like you more than a friend. Y’all were complete opposite in your eyes, two different people with different hobbies and personalities. So it was hard for you to think he’d have a crush on you. Plus you were kinda talking to Charlie, which y’all are still keeping it on the down low surprisingly.

“Y/n, he literally asked if we thought you would go out with him before y’all got here.”

“What?” You looked at Quinn for a second before turning to Ethan. You noticed he was blushing.

“Ethan did you say that?”

The whole group stared at Ethan, waiting for a response.

“Well uh…yes.” He stared at the ground.

You just looked at him for a bit.

“Well fucking finally!” Amber said.

You looked at Charlie, and his face had mixed emotions all over it. You didn’t know what to say at this moment, or even what to think.

*charlie’s pov*

After I heard Ethan say that to y/n I got this weird feeling in my stomach. I already knew that Ethan had a crush on y/n months ago, so I don’t know why this feeling is there. I then I looked at y/n for a second before looking towards Ethan. He couldn’t have her no matter how hard he wanted to. I want to tell him so bad about me and y/n. How I taste her almost every night. How she moans my name instead of his. How she gets wet to the thought of me, not him. But I some how control myself and don’t say anything. But one day I will.

A/n: AHHHH okay guys, I know this ain’t the best thing in the world but I’m not the best writer. Please bear with me I beg.

Part 2 is out!!! part 2

#slashers x reader #slashers #slashers x y/n #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #amber freeman x reader #amber freeman #charlie walker #charlie walker x reader #roman bridger #roman bridger x reader #stu matcher x reader #quinn bailey x reader #billy loomis x reader

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nnnyxie · 1 year ago

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Hcs about the Rise boys with a younge rsister who is totally like nimona??

Punk music, always thinking about action, super into manipulating and robbery, whines every time one of the brothers knock out an enemy “how come you got to kill them??” <- an actual line from the movie- And basically yeah lol.

please and thank you so much!! Don’t forget to take breaks and take good care of yourself!!

okay so i haven’t watch nimona yet BUT i will do my absolute best at trying to embody her

(aka i did research and i’m praying it was enough)

raphael ;

your relationship with raph is so !!

you respect him so much— like seriously!!! when they first found you, you were very intimidated by him, which made you dislike him.

but overtime you realized he was just a softy that could get mean when needed.

and honestly?? you respected that.

it’s like with mikey— complete opposites but besties!!

you hold him on such a high pedestal, he’s kind of your idol (strength wise mainly).

he’s always saying ‘remember no killing!’ and ‘you cannot kill that guy for not liking your outfit!’.

he’s the cool older brother and you love him!!

donatello ;

now. you’d think that you and donnie would get along great considering you’re both yk… borderline murderers/psychopaths!

but… y’all fight ALL. THE. TIME.

it’s always over who gets to fight which person and who gets dibs on killing ‘knocking out’ said person.

poor raph ALWAYS has to break up your fights. the fights are to the point where it gets PHYSICAL.

BUUUT!! there are times where the two of you get along.

usually it’s when it’s super late and you both are very sleep deprived and running on 16 cups of coffee!

but hey, a win is a win i guess???

leonardo ;

urgh leo… i feel like this is a very one sided hateship (if that makes sense?).

like, you love hate him and his dumb, corny jokes but he adores you!! he adores his little sister!! he’ll shower you in affection like he does w/ the others!!

all the hugs, head-locks, knuckle rubs (i think that’s what they’re called), etc etc.

he just adores you and really doesn’t care if you want to curb stomp him into oblivion (don’t look up curb stomping, just know that it’s violent).

your relationship with him is almost like his and donnie’s except donnie doesn’t actually want to stab him sometimes.

thoughhhh there are times where you’ll show him some love, whether that’s in the form of not attacking him for a few days or silently laughing at one of his terrible one-liners.

michaelangelo ;

first of all—

you and mikey?? complete opposites but absolute besties!!

i feel like he’d see you try to do some dumb illegal shit but immediately go ‘no no no! let’s not do that!’ and pull you away—

he has to talk you out of a LOOOT of illegal things. like. A LOT.

one time you tried breaking into the empire state and almost killed a guard……… mikey thankfully followed you and stopped you!! (why did you try to break in? i haven’t the slightest clue!)

it just fits!!

you’d lay your life on the line for him!! honestly who wouldn’t??? just because he’s too good for this world doesn’t mean he should leave it!!

plus, you and doctor delicate touch are such a duo when need be.

OMG ALSO!!! i feel like you two would totally vibe to bratmobile, bikini kill, le tigre, jack off jill, & just so many riot grrl (fem led punk) bands!!!

y’all are just THE duo!!!!

pls i hope i got her personality correct dkgsldna

also!!! i hope you liked this :)

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x sibling reader #rottmnt x child reader

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charleslee-valentine · 6 months ago

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Jigsaw apprentices name etymology:

Starting with Jigsaw himself, John is a name which can mean ‘gracious.’ Certainly that’s how he views himself anyways, since he considers his traps and tests to be rewarding, something to be grateful for. The reason for the loyalty of his apprentices is because he rewards them; with affection, with a purpose, with whatever it is they need he graces them. In that sense he is truly caring, just not using his intrinsic qualities in the right way and causing their demise.

His first apprentice was Jill, in a way, though she was more of an assistant technically. Her name means ‘sweetheart.’ Jill was the love of John’s life, the mother of his child, and his first assistant. While she was never going to take over for him, she aided him. Her guilt though is what caused her to leave and to embitter her husband. This is because in her nature, while she was a beloved partner, sweetheart can refer to her more caring nature. She was too soft-hearted to continue the torture of vulnerable victims like her partner.

Similar to Jill, he was assisted by Lawrence without the expectation that he’d become Jigsaw, only as repayment for saving his life. Lawrence, in name, coincidentally means ‘helped by God.’ His allegiance lies with John because of him and his family being spared death. Since John kills without remorse -yet doesn’t consider himself a murderer- he and those closest to him end up viewing him as a God. Thematically, Lawrence’s name is completely literal. He was helped by John, so he will assist and admire him in return. In that sense, Jigsaw apprentices and assistants are almost like a religion, or more accurately, a cult.

The first true Jigsaw replacement was Amanda. Amanda means ‘loved.’ While yes she was an apprentice, she was also a daughter to John. He hurt her as much as he genuinely cherished her. The fact that he did love her is why he allowed vulnerability around her, and permitted her to act out. However the love doomed them both. Bonded like father and daughter, yes, but careful? Absolutely not. Amanda is desperate for guidance and comfort, pushing and pushing for more and more of that love that defines her until it gets her, and John, killed.

Unlike her is Hoffman. Mark means ‘warlike.’ His nature is not caring, or vulnerable, or familial. He’s destructive. His reason for apprenticeship was power. Leave no survivors, divide and conquer. His reason for being so vengeful was losing his sister, sure, and the Jigsaw position was a way to climb from those depths. But the power was his ultimate motivator. Being controlled and limited makes him lash out to become more and more violent. He’s almost exactly Amanda’s opposite, holding none of her desire for a bond and all of it for the namesake alone.

While Adam was not an apprentice or trainee, he was supposed to survive his game. He was a pawn dragged in by Jigsaw, as are his assistants, so he’ll have a spot in this post as well. His name means ‘ashes.’ Adam was supposed to survive in John’s plan, but according to fate, he was always meant to die in that bathroom. He was ashes from the beginning. Amanda killing him was only actualizing what fate had planned, even if it wasn’t what John had wanted. All of this about pre-determinism stands in direct opposition to John. Excuses can be made in other traps about poor choices and chances and morality, but Adam had done nothing wrong. From the beginning, he was only a punishment to Lawrence. He had to die, to prove that John is only gracious in name. Adam’s rotting ashen corpse inside that bathroom is a reminder that John Kramer is not a kind and gifting man, despite what he insists. As the first victim we see, he is also the most important.

#saw franchise #saw movies #saw 2004 #jigsaw #john kramer #jill tuck #lawrence gordon #amanda young #mark hoffman #adam faulkner stanheight #adam stanheight #analysis

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4fifiandtheflowertots4 · 23 days ago

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The House of the Dutch

PART 2

You'd already decided you were going to like it here, but having your suspicions confirmed made you smile. Your bedroom walls had been painted, new furniture had been delivered (You're still waiting for a chair in the living room) and you found solace after a long day in the girls you were quickly becoming close with. Your favourite part of day was getting home from training and helping to make dinner. You alternated who decided and who ran the kitchen, Kerstin becoming your sou-chef as Dominique kept her ban against her and the kitchen.

Tonight, however, was different. Downstairs Domi and Viv and Jill (and Kerstin had probably managed to weasel her way into helping) were cooking and you were stuck in your room. After receiving an angry message from your university complaining that you hadn't attended a lecture in too long, you took the night to force yourself to stare at the screen and listen. You were hoping the strong smell of the paint might take the edge off a bit, sure that you'd read online that paint had enough chemicals in to ‘relax the muscles’.

You laugh to yourself at the thought before trying to refocus your attention on where the lousy professor was wittering on about something or other. It's only when your name is called that you really start to focus. Half the people had already left and you assumed it was the end of the lecture. “You're 4 pieces behind.” He says to you, and you frown. “No I'm not. I keep up with my work. If I had an assignment set I would have been notified and completed within the next couple of days. I haven't had a notification in weeks. I assumed you had been doing other stuff instead.”

“If you ever joined the lectures you would know.” He states, very matter-of-factly. “And this doesn't change the fact that you're 4 assignments behind.” You frown. You can't remember seeing a notification indicating that any work had been set and you've never missed an essay before. You try to think back and- Oh. That very annoying beep that interrupted you're Mario Kart the other week. “I'm sorry. They'll be done within the next two weeks, promise.”

“You know the rules. If you're more than 6 assignments behind I have the right to kick you off the course, Miss.” You rub your hands up and down your face.

“Of course. I'm sorry again.” Your professor leaves the call and you slump down into the chair. You definitely didn't need this now.

You were getting started by City, scoring goals most games and assisting on the others. You groan, leaning back so far you almost tumble off the chair. It's then that a knock echoes around the room and you twist your head to see who it is. You wait for them to come in, slowly realising they're waiting for permission. That rules out Kerstin. “Come in!” You call and Viv peaks her head around the door. “Hey. Dinners ready, if you're ready.” She says, then hurrying out: “If you're not, we can leave it in the oven to stay warm and we'll wait to eat it with you.”

You shake your head, smiling at the thoughtfulness from the girl. “No, it's alright. I'm finished on the call.” She nods and turns back out of the door. You shut down your laptop and follow her down the stairs, your blood still curdling as you try and consider a time you might have to do 2, 5000 word, essays and 2 projects Kerstin cheers when you appear, patting the chair next to her. Jill walks in with the dish of the day and sits at the head of the table, Domi opposite Kerstin and Viv opposite you.

As much as the food looks delicious (A traditional Dutch soup and garlic bread) you poke it about, your appetite gone since earlier.

Jill looks at you questioningly. “Do you not like it?” She tries to disguise the slight waver in her voice.

“Oh! It's lovely, it's really nice.. I just.. am not hungry.” You say, smiling at her and kicking her gently under the table so she knows you mean it. You were going to withhold your troubles as to not worry the others, but they already knew your academic ability (or lack of). “I have a bunch of work to do for my uni and not much time to do it. I'm really far behind and my professor is threatening to kick me off the course. I can't cope with it.”

“How much work?” Dominique asks from across the table.

“2 5000 word essays and 2 pieces of artwork - 1 of those has to be an animation.” You huff, and push the soup over to Kerstin who has been eying it up since you said you weren't hungry.

“I'm really sorry. I might have to sacrifice all our evenings for the next couple of weeks to get it finished. Starting now.” You get up from your seat, ignoring the sad smile from Viv to prevent the guilt from getting to you. You climb back up the stairs and return to your work area where your laptop waits. Staring at the screen, you try to decide what's best to do first. The animation will take ages. The essays are so boring. You have no inspiration to do the art. You slump at your desk again.

After about 30 minutes of deliberation, you start on the piece of art, the most overdue of them all. The assignment aim was to create a portrait in an animation form, recognisable to a popular animated show. Instantly, you were stumped. Time for some procrastination.

You pull out your phone and begin to scroll through Instagram, a couple of racist jokes, a grwm and a prank doing nothing but boring you further. Then there's one of those videos that everyone sees. “First 5 images on your phone define you as a person” nothing could be more boring than this. You open your camera roll. The first picture was one of your best friend, your mum and your dog, sent to you the other day with an ‘I miss u’ message at the bottom. That makes you smile. The next from last Friday, when you went for coffee with Jill at this new place you'd found. It was meant to just be your drink, to put on your story but behind she had snuck in and photo bombed your ideal Instagram shot. She had her tongue stuck out to the side, her eyes criss-crossed and eyebrows bent. Despite her funny face you still find yourself admiring her beauty. You curse yourself. The image after was not a photo, but a video holding a pristine picture of Kerstin dancing with Kiwi in her arms to the circle of life, from Lion King. Viv is laughing in the background, and Myle the dog is barking at the scene. You laugh along with the scene, Kerstin relishing being the centre of attention. She's smiling and its completely magnetic.The next is a photo of Viv wrapped in her city coat, slightly shivering after being taken off at the 60th minute mark. She's curled around you for warmth and you're laughing slightly. Her nose is red at the tip, her cheeks a similar colour. Even now, however many days in the future you feel the need to put your hands on her cheeks to warm her up. The fifth photo is one of Dominique wearing her specialised oven gloves, 'chef Domi' written across the front (apparently a birthday present from last year, you suppose from Kerstin) she has one of her hands pressed against Jill's front, pinning her against the fridge. The other is pointing best she can with the big mittens on her fingers. You remember the moment perfectly, Jill skipping in after a bit of media work she had to do, smelling the cookies you and Domi had just whisked up and instantly trying to pinch some. Having gotten past the first line of defence, you, she managed to get round Dominique when she had her back turn. Just as she'd spun her finger around the bowl, collecting some of the batter, Domi had turned and pushed her against the wall. Despite still being in fits of giggles from where you'd been tickled to the ground, you'd managed to nab a picture, luckily for Jill, just before she'd turned an embarrassingly obvious red. Clearly, you weren't the only one who found the whole ordeal hot.

Still smiling down at your phone, the inspiration seemed to circle the pen you used to draw on your iPad. You started by drawing a bright red 'animated' sofa, then beginning to create a quick sketch of a yellow version of yourself. You're sat right in the middle, then there's a dog by your feet, a perfect creation of your own little pup. To your left, your mama and each feature that makes her special, especially her butterfly tattoo. To your right, your best friend from home, holding a coffee and doing a peace sign with her free hand. Now you were stuck. You knew what you wanted to do but the positioning you were going to find very hard. Deciding who goes where while still maintaining symmetry was turning out to be a real challenge, especially when your stupid overthinking head is considering each placement a ranking of who was your favourite. A long with the fact that the positioning of each person decided how close you were with each of them, not wanting to confuse anybody for the extent of your relationship with any of them (even though you wished you had that extent with someone). For the however manyth time that day, you huffed. You grab your iPad and unplug it, the days activities taking its toll but you force yourself to continue the work. You crawl into your bed and stick your earphones in, blocking the world and it's issues out. You begin to draw again and the initial sketches of your four girls begin to paint themselves across the screen. Seeing them all in yellow makes you smile, allowing for some imperfections and missed features - especially for your first draft.

Your so far into your own world you don't hear your door open, or footsteps lead towards your bed. It'd only when a weight falls at your feet that you look up, seeing Viv sat at the foot of the bed. You quickly pull your earphone out.

"Hey, Love. How's the work going?" You blush at the affectionate pet name despite knowing the innocent intentions. "I brought food!" She waves the chocolate bar in front of her own face, making you smile.

"I've done the first draft of my drawing. It's all in 'The Simpsons' style." You grin at the thought of the 7 yellow people drawn onto your canvas. "I would say it's going well, but it shouldn't have taken 4 hours to draw a first draft."

"Can I see it?" Viv asks, and you pat the bit of mattress next to you. She scoots up and you bring up your latest drawing while ahe cracks open the chocolate. She stifles a laugh when she gets a look at it, but you can tell it's not in judgement. She points at Kerstin first and that makes you laugh with her. "She is never living this down-" she manages between her laughs and you're both keeling over again. You fall into Viv breathlessly, your head on her lap as she tried to control the laughter. Her hand, however, was already combing through your hair gently. Eventually, the giggles turn into breathy intakes of air, her heart rate returning to normal. "You know it's quite late, right?" She says from above you, her hand never faltering on its movement. She hands you 3 squares of chocolate and you take it, quickly realising how hungry you'd got and having a bite. Then you roll to look at her and instantly admire the way the peeking moon manages to catch her eyes.

"Yeah. I'm alright - just going to have to push a bit harder tomorrow." You try to give her your most reassuring smile.

"Don't work yourself too hard. In fact, I think it's time for bed for you." Viv pulls your iPad from your hands, laying it on the bedside table, moving the chocolate with it. "Do you want me to stay with you for a bit, while you fall asleep?"

Cursing the blush on your cheeks, you grin at her and nod. She manages to haul you off her lap and onto the pillow next to her legs. She (unfortunately for you) stays sitting up and picks up a book that she'd left on the end of your bed upon entrance. Her hand returns to your hair, though, and through each twist and pull you can sense each emotion the book it providing her and you wish it always this easy to read the girl. With that, you feel your eyelids dropping, and with one last look at Viv, fall fast asleep.

When you wake, it's because of another Myle vs Kiwi battle, taking place just outside your door. By the sounds of it, nobody is going to fix it so you pull back the covers and crawl shove your feet into the slippers waiting. At the lack of a second presence, you assume Viv managed to slip away when you fell asleep - now asleep in her own room and ignoring the raucus caused by her puppy. You open the door to your bedroom, picking up the first animal you can (Kiwi) and give a pat to Myle, throwing her toy downstairs for her. You smuggle your new friend back into the warmth you'd created, checking the time on your alarm and pulling out your iPad for the extra couple of hours you have at waking early. For sustenance, you break another square of chocolate off and begin to change a couple of things you'd done in your tired state last night - making sure your depiction of Kerstin was a little kinder.

With Kiwi sat on your lap, you crack on with the drawing, allowing the sun to rise and peek through the curtains left slightly ajar in your haste to shut them. You manage to get more time drawing than you expected, only being disturbed by a sleepy looking Kerstin in skippers and pajamas. "Hey have you seen- Kiwi!" She spots the cat and runs over and launches herself towards the cat - towards you - onto your lap. She begins to mutter to the cat something incoherent, stroking her under the chin.

Then Kerstin looks up at you and smiles sheepishly, a warm blush on her cheeks. "Sorry. I couldn't find her, normally she's scratching on my door for cuddles."

"Yeah, no, that's fine." You try to get over the unfortunate positioning of the long muscular limbs of the other Dutch girl. "Her and Myle were squabbling again. Kiwi was the first I got to. I'm sorry."

You realise Kerstin is paying no attention to you when she reaches up and pokes your cheek. She starts to grin. "This lighting is rather flattering of your features, dare I say?"

Raising your eyebrows at her, you catch her finger as it goes for another prod. "Are you suggesting I don't look flattering in other lights, Casparij?" She must have given herself whiplash with the extent of her head shaking.

"No! No, I mean, every light you look stunning - you always stun me atleast. Anyway. Work? You've been working. Can I see it? Art? Yes?" Her measly attempt at a change of conversation humours you, and you bring up your iPad, putting in the pin. When you brought out the device you expected her to shuffle up next to you, instead she chooses to make herself more comfortable on your lap so you have to adjust the screen so she can see it. Since Viv's last look, you'd drawn in a patchwork bunny, a football bouncing across the floor and a pair of oven gloves with the initials DJ laying on the arm of the sofa. You considered it finish, deciding to animate this drawing for your second art piece and use the characters already created in this made up world. You tell her your plan and she nods excitedly. "Can I be playing football, then tumble, and I end up on the floor in one of those 'paint me like one of your French girls' position? And then Viv can walk in with a canvas and start to paint me like the Mona Lisa and Dominique can stick her head around the door with an.." she pauses for breath. "APPLE PIE! Yes, an apple pie in her hands then Jill walks in with lipstick on her cheek, because you know, have you seen all the rumours about a new secret girlfriend?" You ignore the pang in your chest as she continues to ramble. "And she picks up my discarded football and begins to do keepy-uppies in the background all the while you, your mum and your best friend are just sat completely still with a butterfly floating around your head because I love butterflies. They remind me of you. They're beautiful like you, I think that's where I see the resemblance anyway. And your very graceful. I love watching you play football, you dance across the pitch. Should have been a ballerina." A big inhale for breath. "Actually no I take it back because then you never would have met me or maybe you would have done because it's fate." She sings out the last word and shakes about a bit despite her compromising position on your lap.

"Do you believe in fate, Kerstin?" You ask, tilting your head to the side to avoid the sun shining into your eyes. "And- how do you have so much energy for this time in the morning?"

"I always have energy if it means conversing with you, Darling. And fate? I think we'll never know."

You'd thought you'd found some peace, when the room goes quiet - par Kiwi purring ever so often. However it's clear Kerstin gets bored easily, rolling over and reaching up to get her hands on your thighs. You look down at her to ask her what she's doing, but before the words can leave your mouth she tugs and you go down into the depths of duvet and mattress.

Eventually, you resurface, and she's waiting for you having shuffling herself up the bed (still laying down) and stealing your previous position. "There. Now I can see your eyes properly." She looks really pleased with herself and you roll your eyes, biting down a sarcastic response when she sends you a soft smile. "Any plans for today?" Kerstin asks you. "Other than working?" She cuts in before you can speak, seeing the way you open your mouth.

"Then no. I hope to sit in bed and rot while trying to find some inspiration for a however many word essay that won't write itself." You huff again. "What about you guys?"

"Viv's going for a physio appointment about her knee, Dominique's going to visit somebody or other. Jill's meant to be babysitting her niece and I am going out with Mary." She ticks them all off her fingers before looking back at you.

"So it's just me rotting today then?" She nods and you both lay there staring at one another. Then a hand reaches up and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. "You really are beautiful in this light." The hand from by the side of your head comes to your hip and pulls you towards her just a little bit. "Can I have a hug?" She's not smiling and joking anymore, her face is straight and her shoulders look sagged. You make the decision to wiggle forward - half for her, half to satisfy the urge to cuddle close you've had since she played you both down. When you start to move, her hand on your hip begins to tug you along too until your head is tucked neatly under her chin. The arm on your midsection tightens and you wrap yours around her lower back. You stay like this for just enough time for the smell of yesterday's perfume to drift around your head. Then she pulls back and you start to wonder what an earth is going on inside her head.

"..are you okay?" You ask her and she nods. Her tongue peaks out and subtly licks her lips and her eyes dash around your face, eyes, nose, blushed cheeks, freckles, forehead and mouth. They rest on your mouth. They're bright with want, sparkling as they continue to stare. Then her face falls and she pulls away entirely. Her whole body just falls from yours like it was a cliff, not a whole queen sized bed but instead of falling she's stood, still staring at you.

"I'm really sorry. I was..was going to, you know, kiss you or something like that. But.." she goes quiet and you have to just wait as she chews over her next words. "Jill. She really likes you. Told me the other day - actually she told all of us and for some reason I took that as 'hey let's make a move' and that makes me a shit person so.. I'm going to leave now. And I would like you not to tell Jill. Or anyone. Because I think Domi likes you too. Not that she'd ever say. Infact.. so does Viv. She chooses what to cook based on what your fancying and even if you say you don't tell her, you wake up every morning and as your making yourself breakfast you say what your fancying for tea under your breath and I can tell it's only meant for yourself to hear but Viv's always up at the same time and she can hear it too." Yet again, she's rambling and you can't do anything but watch as she exposes her friends secrets.

By the time you have a chance to get a word in, she's gone, Kiwi trailing behind.

There isn't much you can do now. Other than sit. Ponder. Consider. Mostly, however, you're wondering how an earth you managed to make 4 very pretty Dutch women like you. You also think about your next move, surely there's a decision you have to make.

You shake that thought of your head, that action instantly becoming easier when theres a muffled scream from room next door, something that sounded like a pillow being thrown against the wall, then a thrump as it hit the floor.

Then your door gets nudged open and a blonde woman makes an appearance, a little girl at her feet. "Hey, my little love. How's the work?" Jill says while kicking the door closed with her foot. "This is my niece, Clara, by the way." The little girl sends you a huge gummy grin, toddling over and giving you a glass of water. "I bought breakfast when I went to collect the little monster, so I thought I'd come give it to you." Jill hands you a chocolate croissant, your favourite, and then picks up the little girl currently very enthralled by the ratty little rabbit sat on your bedside table. "Is Kerstin alright?" She asks, referencing the noise from next door.

Your face flushes while you think of how to put it kindly. You can't think of anything. "I'm not sure. Probably lost a game on her phone or something." Jill gives you a funny look at your stutter but doesn't ask anything further. The girl in her arm starts wiggling so she can't consider for much longer. "Okay. Anyway. If you hear me speaking in English then it's to Clara, my brother and his wife are trying to bring her up bilingual so I thought I'd give them a hand."

"Lucky." You pout and Jill laughs.

"How's your English coming along?"

You put on your best English accent. "Excellent." Then add in Dutch. "Absolutely terrible. I need help."

The little girl had seemingly gotten board of your little bunny, and you take a mental not to apologise to it later for being disregarded. Jill notices and begins to stand up from the foot of your bed. She presses a kiss to your orehead, as she does most of the time and bids you goodbye, calling back warning you not to work too hard. You don't think you'll get too much work done at all. Especially after the strange start of the day.

A/n: Pretty long. Pretty much all waffle. Please tell me what you think of it so I can improve and any plot ideas to <33

#jill roord #dominique jansen #kerstin casparij #vivianne miedema #woso imagines #manchester city #manchester united women

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drabblesandimagines · 11 months ago

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Got a reader x Clive one for ya.

After years of friendship and one too many pints of Molly’s brown late one night they confess their feelings for each other. All the fluff and maaaaaaybe some shenanigans from Gav to get them in the ale hall together.

Libations

Clive Rosfield x female reader, fluffy nonsense, everyone's a bit drunk

Your eyes widen as Gav places yet another tankard of Molly's brown down in front of you, with such gusto that a good measure of it splashes across the table.

"Gav..." His name slurs across your tongue. Drinking had only become a possibility once you've joined the Hideaway after all, and you'd be a liar to say you'd built up a decent tolerance. "Another?"

He nods, dropping down in the stool heavily opposite you. "Another."

"What's the occasion?" Usually the Cursebreakers would partake in a round or two after a successful mission, but there'd been no such feats today.

"No real occasion, like." He lifts the tankard to his lips and takes a deep gulp. "Just helping you attain liquid courage."

"Liquid what?"

"Courage." He gives your tankard a nudge with his hand. "Drink up."

"I don't understand." You whine, but the scout shakes his head and nudges your tankard once more.

"Drink up, then I'll tell you."

You lift the tankard by the handle and take a deep drink to placate him. Gav had become one of your closest friends after all and had seemed rather adamant earlier that evening that the two of you needed a proper catch up. Surely another pint couldn't hurt...

"Good." He slams his tankard back down on the table, wipes the residue off his top lip and grins. You know that grin a little too well. "I am sick and tired of waiting for you and Clive to get off your backsides and admit your feelings for one another."

You feel momentarily sober with the shock.

"W-what?"

"Don't play coy with me, lass. I see it,” he pokes himself firmly in the chest, “Jill sees it, Otto sees it, even bloody Torgal sees it!"

"Nonsense. We're just... We're friends. Good friends. We always have been." You take another ill-advised gulp of the ale, hoping to steady your nerves.

"Right, I may only have one bloody eye, but I'm not completely blind to the looks you two give each other when you think the other's not looking!”

“I don’t know wha-“

“So,” he interrupts, placing his palms flat down on the table, “you're gonna finish that drink, march up to his chambers and tell our sourpuss-faced leader exactly how you feel, like."

"No-"

He leans across the table then, raises his hand to press a gloved finger to your lips.

"And I’m not taking no for an answer, like."

You push his arm away, a little clumsily. "Let’s say even if I did feel that way about Clive," your cheeks flush red with just the idea of a confession, "I couldn't possibly do it slightly merry with Molly's brown on my breath."

"Uh-uh, I've already worked that out. Don't you fret."

You do fret, find yourself reaching for the tankard for another sip - a deep one, unaware of the door to Clive's chambers sliding open and Otto giving Gav a curt nod and a wave from distance.

"Excellent." Gav jumps to his feet - probably thinks he's graceful too but it's nowhere near - and strides over to your side of the table, swiftly hauling you up by your arms.

"Wha...?"

“Clive and Otto were having a toast to Cid earlier, aided by the finest bottle of winter mead I've been brewing under the floorboards the last few months." He declares, now pushing you across the floor of the Ale Hall towards the stairs to Clive's chambers. "Clive can handle his ale a little too well all things considered, so your old uncle Gav made sure it's even ground..."

"Uncle?"

"Pretty much." He shrugs, though it isn't true. You're the same age... or older? Everything's getting fuzzy.

There's no time to argue as some how you're now at the chamber doors. Gav slides them open without knocking. You open your mouth to protest but he gives you what he’ll later claim to be an encouraging nudge but was really quite the firm shove. Your balance is usually better, but the ale has done its job a little too well and you topple to the floorboards, scuffing your knees.

"By the Founder...!" Clive's voice sounds different, a slight slur to usual gravelled tones, Gav's mead having done it's work.

You look up to apologise profusely for the intrusion… only for the words to die on your tongue as you see Clive in a state of undress, looking tastefully dishevelled. He must've been getting ready to retire for the night, his leather armour stripped - trousers still in place but little else - when Gav had so rudely pushed you into the room.

You try and scoot back, averting your gaze out of decency as Clive holds his discarded shirt up against his chest - ever the gentleman.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Gav sighs, dramatically, bending down and pulling you up to your feet, only to shove you once more in Clive's direction.

The Fire Dominant's reflexes are fast, thankfully, stopping you from hitting the floor again but in sacrifice of dropping his shirt as he catches you by the shoulders.

He smells of ash - always has - and there’s a distinct tang of the sweet mead on his breath, as he looks down at you with hazy eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine." You answer, feeling somewhat breathless.

"Gav,” he calls to the scout over your head, hands still holding you upright, “what is the meaning of this?"

"You like her, she likes you..." Gav steps backwards, resting his hands on either side of the chamber doors. "..you’re both a little merry - you're welcome." And with a flourish, he bows his head, takes another step back and slides the doors over with a slam.

"I am so, so sorry..." You look down, though you're not sure that's any better considering your position. "I had no idea what he was planning and I've had too many of Molly's brown and-"

Clive places two fingers beneath your chin, coaxing your head back up to face him.

"My lady, is what he said... is it true?"

You lose all train of thought again as you look into his eyes, reminding yourself to keep focused on his face and not his chest.

"What he said...?"

"That you..." He swallows, you see his Adam's apple bob in his throat, "..you like me."

The brown has loosened your tongue, it seems, as there is no hesitation.

"Yes." It’s your turn to swallow then. “Is it true that you like me?”

“Very much so.”

You step closer then, the liquid courage stepping in, and press a soft, chaste kiss against his lips. It can barely be a few seconds long before you try and step back, but Clive’s arm wraps around your waist, keeping you still as he returns your kiss.

You wrap your arms around him, wanting him closer, to kiss him deeper but this time he retreats, looking bashful.

“I want this, my darling, I truly do, but… I always pictured it differently.”

“Differently?” Oh, Founder, what have you…?

“Without the merriment, I mean. I am grateful to Gav for the method of encouragement, but…” He sighs. “Forgive me, I cannot find the words to truly express this.”

“No, I understand. You’re a gentleman, of course. I should go.”

You go to turn, retreat to your own bunk in shame, but his arm stays around your waist, a frustrated pout on his lips.

“I do not wish you to go, only for us to pursue… certain activities at dawn, when the libations have passed through our systems.”

“Oh.”

---

Comments, likes and reblogs make my whole day x

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi/Commissions

#ghostdogwrites #clive rosfield x you #clive rosfield x reader

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rainbow-crane · 5 months ago

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Okay I've finally figured out why the way Byakuya fans talk about how great he is bothers me so much. Because here's the thing, he's not a bad character. He's well-written, believable, one of the few characters I completely buy as someone Makoto is attached to. Even if I don't like that he survives and others don't, it still makes logical sense in the narrative THH went with. So what is the problem, other than just me personally not liking him?

HE'S NOT A FUCKING ANTAGONIST.

People put him next to Nagito and Kokichi and label him with "the antags" and say he's an antagonist, and he just?? Isn't???? He's the secondary deuterag alongside Kyoko. They have extremely similar roles and stand on either side of Makoto as the deuteragonists. And I can defend this.

An antagonist is defined as someone with a goal that works against the protagonist. Not with them, against them. Makoto is unequivocally the protagonist of THH, I don't think there's anyone who could argue against that; even if you don't like him, he still exists to be the Everyman protag and succeeds by a) being the POV guy and b) not dying in chapter 1. So then, the antagonist would work directly against the goal of Makoto, right? When exactly did Byakuya do that? Chapter 2? That isn't working against him. That was a singular test of Makoto's observational skills. And even if you are going to say that counts as antagonistic behavior, it's a minor point in his arc if anything, because his actual goal is to reveal Genocide Jill before she actually attacks anyone. It simultaneously removes her from the pool of suspects for mastermind, which is in-line with Makoto's overarching goal- find the mastermind and end the game. In fact, Byakuya straight up announces to everyone once this chapter ends that his goal is to find and defeat the mastermind, which is THE SAME GOAL AS MAKOTO AND KYOKO. Not to mention, for the entire rest of the game after this, he's working with Makoto, and never works against him ever again. He rejoins the class in the next chapter, whether he admits that's what he's doing or not, and he actively helps Makoto in almost every investigation in the entire game, with the one exception being chapter 1. Even when he has his "ego downfall" moment in the chapter 4 trial, he's not actually being an antagonist there, either. He's still working for the same goal as everyone else(besides Hina ofc), finding the culprit. I guess you could make the argument his rivalry is with Kyoko, not Makoto, but that's only really a theme in chapter 5 and it's the side effect of a purposeful setup from Junko. Even then, Byakuya is on Makoto's side for basically the entire trial, trying to save his life and prove his innocence. That's the opposite of antagonistic.

In conclusion, he's not the antagonist; he's just a tsundere with a character arc about the magic of friendship.

#danganronpa #trigger happy havoc #byakuya togami

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jillgirlfriends · 2 months ago

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scream characters on the beach

pairing: billy loomis, stu macher, jill roberts, liv mackenzie, ethan landry x fem!reader

warnin: it's just headcanons

billy loomis

billy actually likes the beach, especially sunbathing. he can go for a swim and then relax in the sun. be prepared for girls to stare at your hot guy, and so you'll be sitting next to him all the time and giving girls a sight that says: "that's my man, bitches."

you also help your boyfriend put on sunscreen and omg his skin is like heaven his skin is so smooth and feels nice especially his back you can stare at him for a long time and billy naturally notices it and makes fun of you afterwards.

billy will definitely compliment your looks and especially your swimsuit or bikini, but he will also definitely be jealous of the guys who dared to show off on you. if some idiot dares to approach you, billy is already thinking about killing this bastard.

when the sunset comes, you and your boyfriend will eat ice cream and look at the beautiful view. billy really likes these relaxing moments, which unfortunately are rare. in these moments, he finally rests and is not with people he hates, especially his father.

stu macher

this guy loves the beach! he will have a blast, goof off, act like an idiot and just enjoy the moment. he will definitely annoy you and his favorite thing to do is to blow poor billy's mind.

stu will definitely go swimming and he is also really good at surfing. honestly he looks really hot in these moments.. especially with that stupid smirk.

he will help you choose a swimsuit, not too revealing and not too closed. something in between. because, stu is a jealous person and does not want some pervert to spy on you. he will pout if you do not like his choice, in any case, you will wear what he chose.

stu will fool around, run here and there, he will also make you swim with him if you suddenly don't like swimming. He can pick you up in his arms and run as fast as he can into the water.

in general, with this wonderful tall guy you will definitely not get bored

jill roberts

and here is the first person who doesn't like the beach. you tried to persuade your girlfriend to go to the beach with you, and somewhere around the 500th try.. jill gave in and as a result you went to this damn beach together.

you will have paired swimsuits. they don't look too revealing and they are also lacy. this is all so that no perverts will stare at you both.

she definitely doesn't know how to swim, but she will say the opposite and when she went into the water.. she almost drowned, and you immediately helped her. you covered her with a towel and dried her from the water. but, after.. jill liked this feeling of cold water and with your help she will learn to swim. I swear, this girl will not get out of the water, explaining that it is hot.

jill just hates tanning, she is very afraid of ruining her crystal clear and pale skin. you think that she looks like an aristocrat, and she will jokingly say that this is true.

and then in the evening you both dry each other's hair with a towel and go home. jill admits that she really enjoyed this beach day, especially this cool water.

liv mackenzie

your girlfriend will agree to this idea, but you will go to the beach with your group of friends. liv will only relax in the sun, and will definitely not be active.

you will both lie under an umbrella and enjoy the day, sipping the most delicious cocktails together and chatting with each other about anything.

at some point, liv will notice amber sunbathing.. but she forgot to put on sunscreen and after that you both will laugh at freeman for a long time because she was completely red and sunburned. amber sunbathed in shame all day and will run away to the beach house so that no one would see her like that. you and liv will think that she deserved it because she is such a bitch.

liv can easily float in the water for a while, just enjoying the feeling of coolness on such a hot day.

your girlfriend will get a nice tan and will brag about it to you. her tan was really beautiful and went well with her pink hair.

you and a group of friends booked a hotel and you had such a wonderful dinner together. there was a lot of food and you and your whole group of friends had dinner at a big table. while amber sat in a black sweatshirt and completely hid her tanned body, and tara was comforting her at that time. you and liv looked at each other with sly smiles and thought about the same thing.

- why is this beautiful girl not noticed and nothing is written about? liv deserves attention.. i need stories with her. 😭

ethan landry

the poor guy had no choice, you didn't even ask him. you said about the beach and he, like an obedient boy, agreed and nodded. where you go, there he goes.

ethan definitely won't tan, he hates it. he had an incident in his childhood when he decided to tan and ended up forgetting to put on sunscreen. he was completely red for a long time, and his classmates and quinn and richie made fun of him. so, this topic is painful for him and he swore to himself that he will never tan.

this guy is a real pervert and we all know it, he will stare at you in your swimsuit as if he was hypnotized. he didn't even blink and looked at your body. only on the third time he heard you. when a convenient moment comes, he will stare at you and your body. especially, this pervert watched you when you were relaxing under an umbrella. he stayed next to you on purpose.

ethan doesn't like swimming, he only swam once all day and then came back to you and immediately started his activity. he had a great view of your body, especially when you were lying under the umbrella.

he will definitely read books and you will also join him for the company.

ethan would ask you, embarrassed and burning with shame, about him applying sunscreen to your body. and he was lucky. he gently smeared the cream on your body, and even gave you a massage for your shoulders.

you both will spend time under the umbrella and then go back to the hostel.

#scream #scream 4 #scream 2022 #scream vi #scream headcanons #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #stu macher #stu macher x reader #jill roberts #jill roberts x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader

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oetscop · 7 months ago

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hey! absolutely love your art and your rainer interpretation- can you talk about your headcanons lore-wise involving rainer and mike? honestly you can talk about more than just those two as well i'm very curious about your interpretations honestly.

YOOO I LOVE UR RAINER ALSO thank u.....

this will hopefully not be complete word salad. bc my brains fried already, but my views on petscop characters are esoteric and best and downright incomprehensible at worst. so idk how legible this will be JDKSHSKSBSK

uhh ill start with like. jill is significantly older than anna and lina. rainers actually fairly close in age to anna.

rainers biological dad isnt in the picture and actually went missing a few years after him and jill divorced. it runs in the family i guess. but since tom was there longer hes only ever called him dad, and both jill and him took the last name hammond when they got married. and mike was actually an accident! a welcome one tho. jill and tom were in their 40s and rainer was like 16 or so.

they were very close tho! he was very close with his immediate family. for the brief time he was in college he still lived at home despite the commute.

mike would sit and watch him work on the game all the time. he wanted him to teach him how to code (thats why he created the "petscop kids" after school program! at first anyway...) but 5-6 year olds dont exactly have the attention span for explaining how the dev kit console works. unless theyre belle i guess. but he did get into art! and considering rainers also an artist he encouraged it. mike would sometimes draw his own pets to be put in the game, but since it never went past evencare they never showed up. he did sorta base toneth on mike, and that was before he based any of the other pets on other family members.

mike went missing shortly after rainers mental health was declining. he ran away after some argument with his mom, and nobody remembers what the argument was even about. since this was after marvin hit the dog with the car, and he was beginning to experience psychosis, he immediately made the connection and believed marvin had something to do with it. the cops found it a little suspicious that rainer somehow just knew he had been struck by a car, and he was the only suspect for quite a while. tom had to vouch for him pretty hard and get him a lawyer.

as for vaguer things. the newmaker plane was started in an attempt to find out where mike wouldve run to. he was already recording movements in game, so he put all of mikes in game behaviors into a to scale version of their town, trying to train it to show him where he couldve gone. this obviously didnt work. didnt help that it was completely flat terrain and like had only their house, the marks house, the school and like a couple roads. it actually lead him to the opposite side of the town than where his body was located.

marvin is ALSO severely mentally ill and was convinced that care was lina reborn before any of this happened. obviously anna didnt believe that since shes still. yknow. alive. but rainer introduced the A/B/NLM concept to him, and they both began to believe care was just lina A reborn. pre traumatic event lina. they were both trying to see if they could somehow force something like that to occur, in an attempt to bring mike A back. when belle didnt work, they figured she was too old, so they moved to care. part of this whole "changing your past" thing involved plucking out her eyebrows (lina A had trich) and essentially trying to reenact aforementioned traumatic event. thats why marvin kidnapped her to keep her in the school. and it didnt work! just traumatized the fuck outta the kid. they never had the chance to do anything to "bring mike back" by the end of it, which lead to Bathroom Tomb Event. however, last belle heard, he was pretty certain paul was actually mike A. she tried her best to keep that from paul before they became distant.

i feel like the core of a lot of this is that i really dont believe that the rebirthing process does anything at all. with enough manipulation you may start developing false memories, sure, but its not actually working. in retrospect it makes rainers character a lot sadder. just a terrified kid trying in vain to bring his baby brother back. its not easy losing someone so young in such a horrible way without knowing who took his life.

BUT UUHHH YEAH ^}^ can you tell ive been thinking abt petscop pretty much nonstop since the end of 2022 i bet you cant

#THIS IS SO MUCH MORE THSN JUST MIKE AND RAINER SJSJSJSIEUIEGE #i dont even like. know where all of this shit came from ill be honest #ive got so many abt paul and all the leskowitzes its not even funny. ive just been thinking abt rainer way more lately #petscop #petscop rainer #rainer hammond #headcanons #autism beam

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virologikal · 3 months ago

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@nshtn asked: Your Wesker. His thoughts on Chris. What's got his obsession where it is? What kind of obsession is it? How deep does it go?

Asking the meaty questions I see. This will be long, so I’ll put it under a cut!

Wesker’s obsession with Chris started the same year he took up the free position in the S.T.A.R.S. team. It wasn’t instantly as soon as he laid eyes on Chris, but it didn’t take long for Wesker’s curiosity to be piqued due to the way Chris effortlessly fit into the rest of the team. There was some kind of fascination with the ease with which Chris was able to move among his peers, how he bonded with them, and how positively the other S.T.A.R.S. members reacted towards him in turn.

Wesker always had been the odd one out among his peers, due to his emotional underdevelopment, the way he always appeared very controlled and analytical, and never much talked about anything private. Chris was the exact opposite in a way, and initially, Wesker took this as a chance to learn how to blend in better.

In turn, Chris took an interest in his Captain exactly because of how mysterious he acted. Chris wasn’t used to superiors being this clinical and controlled while simultaneously showing a lot of lenience towards their subordinates (not going into this too deep right now because this would derail the actual topic, but to make it short: I hc Wesker showed a lot of support and listened to requests from his team, allowing them to customize their desks, gear, etc.; even getting them S.T.A.R.S. branded wrist watches and gifting them all their framed team picture in front of the helicopter for christmas). So naturally, Chris got curious and started prodding his Captain, trying to get to know him better.

This mutual interest from both sides resulted in them sort of moving ever closer over the span of the following years, until they would eventually end up spending a night together. (We’ll get into the nitty gritty of all that in the fic soon^^)

From this point on, Wesker’s interest turned into something more intense, resulting in an affair with Chris. Outwardly, he would always stoically keep up appearances during working hours and remind Chris to do the same, but he would start to slightly neglect his “double agent” work. He’s not the type to completely let it fall to the wayside, but he would definitely be distracted by the other - be it so he could spend time being physical with him, or just having him around while he was doing some paperwork for the RCPD (preferably with him on his lap - I DIGRESS).

Around this time he definitely already had developed an obsession with Chris resulting in jealousy (something he never felt before and could not pinpoint); especially due to Chris and Forest being very amicable with each other. Wesker would never show his jealousy openly of course, but it was there, likely being the cause why Wesker made sure Forest was headed for his mission in the Arklay Mountains with a more or less useless weapon for the occasion (reports say Forest only had his custom grenade launcher with him, which is why the infected birds were able to overwhelm him).

Wesker still planned to leave Umbrella and follow his own plans, and now started to actively consider Chris as part of this plan - to make him his right hand. (Note: He also wanted Jill for this, because he considered the both of them to be the best members of his team, but with Chris it was way more personal).

This plan is what stuck with Wesker all the years through until his demise in the events during RE5. It’s the reason he constantly tries to appeal to Chris, wanting to make him understand his point of view with his seemingly pointless ramblings. It’s the reason he developed the type of destructive anger towards Chris in the first place; he felt rejected, disappointed and misunderstood, yet was convinced that he only had to find a way to show Chris his superiority and that he had chosen the wrong side of history.

By the point of time the both fight in RE5, Wesker’s god complex peaked, which resulted in his initial idea of making Chris his right hand man to turn into something more twisted; he would think of him as his prophet, his most important worshiper (given he would finally make him understand), giving his obsession an almost religious twist.

Basically, Wesker’s rage towards Chris and his obsession go hand in hand.

Even after the Reborn Protocol was activated, Wesker still found himself circling back towards Chris in his thoughts again and again, not really being able to push him away enough to ignore him. On the contrary, he even made Chris part of his plans again, as soon as he realized what was going on at the Baker Estate in Louisiana, going so far as to reveal himself to the other and handing him intel in an attempt to re-establish contact between the both of them.

Chris was the first glimpse of a life Wesker could have had if he had been born under normal circumstances and would have had the chance to live like a (more or less) normal person. He is his character foil, the other side of the coin, and like a moth to the flame Wesker is drawn to him, willing to consume or be consumed just so he can be close, without having the vocabulary or understanding of what it is that he is feeling.

#⸻ ⨯ 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐃 ⇨ 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫.#⸻ ⨯ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ⇨ 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐑.#⸻ ⨯ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 ⇨ 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐑.#⸻ ⨯ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞 #// thanks for letting me ramble!#// I just love their dynamic and getting down to the meaty bits like this #// why am I constantly talking about meat... ignore that.#// also the other ask you sent had me cackle - I'll definitely get back to those questions soon too!

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kittyamore0 · 2 years ago

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MASTERLIST !

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ★⋆.

@kittiescrownedsoul━ LOVE THIS HOE!

Status: editing, uncompleted Masterlist for all works

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔

UNFINISHED SERIES!━

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━ Slashers with a GN! S/O who has a low self-esteem, part I:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━Slashers find out their S/O has killed, part I: ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━Slashers find out their S/O has killed, part II: ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━Slashers find out their S/O has killed, part III:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━Slashers with a S/O who gets their favorite color lingerie, part I:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━Slashers with a vampire S/O, part I: ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━ Slasher with a Vampire S/O, part II:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━Genshin men with a nice! Fatui harbinger! GN! S/O:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━ Slashers with a S/O who kills for fame:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━ Knocking at deaths door, Ethan Landry x Reader, part I: ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━ Knocking at deaths door, Ethan Landry x Reader, part II:

( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡━ Paper, part II, Scream 4 x child! reader:

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

COMPLETED WORKS!━

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ "Im sorry. This is all my fault." -- An angst, KIt walker x Fem! Reader:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━Our first time -- A NSFW, Brahms Heelshire x Fem! Reader one-shot:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━My dear best friends -- A SFW, Post-death Tate Langdon x Fem! Reader x Post-death Violet Harmon:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━Yandere! Male! Crush x GN! Reader:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━Yandere! Elias Del x Babysitter! GN! Reader head canons:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━Yandere! Secret admirer x GN! Reader:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ Scaramouche/Kunikuzushi x Fem! Reader -- NSFW post:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ My return, scream 6 x Ghostface! Reader:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ My sweet baby, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part I: (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ Our sweet baby, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part II: (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ Our complete family, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part III:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ Confessions, Ethan Landry x Fem! Reader:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ Opposites attract, Ethan Landry x reader:

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡━ His lover - Jill Roberts x GN! Reader

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ALL SLASHERS!━

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slashers with a GN! S/O who has a low self-esteem, part I: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━"Im sorry. This is all my fault." -- An angst, Kit walker x Fem! Reader:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slashers find out their S/O has killed, part I: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slashers find out their S/O has killed, part II: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slashers find out their S/O has killed, part III:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slashers with a S/O who gets their favorite color lingerie, part I:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slashers with a Vampire S/O, part I: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Slasher with a Vampire S/O, part II:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━Our first time -- A NSFW, Brahms heelshire x Fem! Reader one-shot:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━My dear best friends -- A SFW, Post-death Tate Langdon x Fem! Reader x Post-death Violet Harmon:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Slashers with an S/O who kills for fame:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ My sweet baby, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part I: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Our sweet baby, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part II: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Our complete family, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part III:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Knocking at deaths door, Ethan Landry x Reader, part I: ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Knocking at deaths door, Ethan Landry x Reader, part II:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ My return, scream 6 x Ghostface!Reader:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Confessions, Ethan Landry x Fem! Reader:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Opposites attract, Ethan Landry x reader:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ Paper, part II, Scream 4 x child! reader:

૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა━ His lover - Jill Roberts x GN! Reader

✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.* SOLO SLASHERS! ✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊

Jason Voorhees

2. Micheal Myers

3. Charles Lee Ray

4. Tiffany Valentine

5. Patrick Bateman

6. Tate langdon

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ My dear bestfriend -- A SFW, Post-death Tate Landon x Fem! Reader x Post-death Violet Harmon:

7. Brahms Heelshire

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━Our first time -- A NSFW, Brahms heelshire x Fem! Reader one-shot:

8. James March

9. Stu Macher + Billy Loomis

10. Jennifer Check

11. Billy Lenz

12. Kurt Kunkle

13. Vicent Sinclair

14. Bo Sinclair

15. Lester Sinclair

16. Bubba Sawyer

17. Pennywise

18. Carrie White

19. Hannibal Lector

20. Norman Bates

21. Jill Roberts

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ His lover - Jill Roberts x GN! Reader

22. Amber Freeman

23. Freddy kruger

24. Ethan Landry

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ My sweet baby, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part I: ૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ Our sweet baby, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part II: ૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ Our complete family, Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, part III:

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ Knocking at death's door, Ethan Landry x Reader, part I: ૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ Knocking at deaths door, Ethan Landry x Reader, part II:

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ Confessions, Ethan Landry x Fem! Reader:

૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩━ Opposites attract, Ethan Landry x reader:

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ALL AMERICAN HORROR STORY WORKS!━

•ᴗ•━ My dear best friends -- A SFW, Post-death Tate Langdon x Fem! Reader x Post-death Violet Harmon:

•ᴗ•━ "Im sorry. This is all my fault." An angst, Kit walker x Fem! Reader:

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆ AMERICAN HORROR STORY SEASONS!━

MURDER HOUSE:

Tate Langdon

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚━ My dear best friend -- A SFW, Post-death Tate Langdon x Fem! Reader x Post-death Violet Harmon:

2. Violet Harmon

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚━My dear best friend -- A SFW, Post-death Tate Langdon x Fem! Reader x Post-death Violet Harmon:

3. Debating on if i should put more characters

ASLYUM:

Kit Walker

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚━"Im sorry, this is all my fault." -- An angst, Kit walker x Fem! Reader:

2. Lana Winters

3. Grace Bertand (only if requested or on rare occasions)

COVEN:

Kyle Spencer

2. Zoe Benson

3. Madison Montgomery

4. Cordelia Goode

FREAK SHOW:

Jimmy Darling

CULT:

Kai Anderson

HOTEL:

James March

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

ALL AVATAR CHARACTERS!━

Nothing here, yet.

✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.* SOLO AVATARS! ✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧

Jake Sully

2. Neytiri Sully

3. Neteyam Sully

4. Lo'ak Sully

5. Kiri Sully

6. Tonowari

7. Ronal

8. Tsireya

9. Aonung

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

ALL ALICE IN THE BORDERLAND CHARACTERS!━

Nothing here, yet.

✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧ SOLO AIB CHARACTERS! ✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚

Ryohei Arisu

2. Shuntaro Chishiya

3. Kodai Tatta

4. Dakichi Karube

5. Sunato Banda

6. Hikari Kuina

7. Ann

8. Yuzuha Usagi

9. Mira Kano

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

ALL DISNEY CHARACTERS!━

Nothing here, yet.

✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.* SOLO DINEYS! ✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧✩‧₊

Too many to name.

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

ALL OCS!━

ღ━Yandere! Male! Crush x GN! Reader head canons:

ღ━Yandere! Secret admirer x GN! Reader:

ღ━Yandere! Elias Del x Babysitter! GN! Reader:

✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.* SOLO OCS! ✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧✩‧₊˚ ✧

Elias Del My dear babysitter:

☁︎━ Yandere! Elias Del x Babysitter! GN! Reader head canons:

2. Noah Whitlock Love letters:

☁︎━ Yandere! Secret admirer x GN! Reader:

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

ALL GENSHIN IMPACT CHARACTERS!━

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪━ Genshin men with a nice! fatui harbinger! GN! S/O A SFW head canons of the genshin men:

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪━ Scaramocuhe/Kunikuzushi x FEM! Reader -- NSFW post:

✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧ SOLO CHARACTERS! ✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧₊˚ ✧.*✩‧

Aether

2. Venti

3. Xiao

4. Kaedehara Kazuha

5. Shkanoin Heizou

6. Scaramouche

𓆩𓆪━ Scaramocuhe/Kunikuzushi x FEM! Reader -- NSFW post:

7. Lumine

8. Jean

9. Sucrose

10. Faruzan

11. Albedo

12. Zhongli

13. Arataki Itto

14. Gorou

15. Noelle

16. Ningguang

17. Yun Jin

18. Razor

19. Cyno

20. Lisa

21. Fischl

22. Beidou

23. Keqing

24. Raiden shogun/Raiden Ei

25. Yae miko

26. Kuki Shinobu

27. Baizhu

28. Tighnari

29. Al Haitham

30. Childe/Tartaglia

31. Xingqiu

32. Kamisato Ayato

33. Mona

34. Sanganomiya Kokomi

36. Yelan

37. Diluc

38. Thoma

39. Amber

40. Hu tao

41. Yanfei

42. Xinyan

43. Yoimiya

44. Kaeya

45. Eula

46. Rosaria

47. Ganyu

48. Kamisato Ayaka

49. Shenhe

50. Dottore

51. Pantalone

52. Columbina

53. Arlecchino

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

This program is too tired to continue, and will carry on working when we have recharged its battery. Please, come back when updated. Thank you...!

★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆. ࿐࿔★⋆.

208 notes · View notes