#jiggy kill him faster

[qiu-yan]

therapist: chibi jin guangshan can't hurt you

chibi jin guangshan:

source: JP audio drama

[getwhelmed]

pft

[lady-of-the-lotus]

Hello!! I'm back again!! I hope that you've been well the past couple of days c: I feel the mdzs hole pretty quickly too...i ended up binging the show in 4 days ;;~;; (i had too much time on my hands..) You said you like to paint, is there a particular medium you like to use when you do so? Also you said that your favorite characters are Jiang Cheng and Xue Yang if you could rewrite their endings how would you do so? Or rewrite any part of their storyline what would you change if you could?-🐇cc

That's awesome that you were able to binge like that! It took me over a month, and that was with working from home and having more time than usual. Towards the end I gave up even trying to work and just watched the last four episodes during a workday afternoon. I mainly do acrylics. I've dabbled in watercolors, but very little. Acrylics give you the versatility of oil painting but are easier to work with and faster-drying. I've only produced one painting this year thanks to the pandemic and the toll it took on my creativity and time to do my hobbies : ( I also stopped sketching as much as I used to, but I'm trying to get back into that again. Re JC and XY--good question! re XY, part of the appeal is the tragedy of it all. The sappier part of me wants XXC to survive and have XY explain things and have them work it all out, but the actual events of the show are so deliciously tragic I'm going to just rely on fanfic for that and embrace canon's version (as I don't really believe XXC could ever accept XY's past). After all, my favorite Yi City scene (probably favorite sequence of the whole show, period) is after XXC dies and XY prepares his lovely little candlelit dinner and has his little mental breakdown. I wish we could have seen more of their life in Yi City together, XXC being told the truth by A-Qing, XY in the years after XXC's death, putting him in the coffin, and going to Jiggy and asking for his job back even after Jiggy tried to kill him.

One thing I wish I could change would be his killing A-Qing (or her ghost/corpse). Though he only did when his life was directly in danger because of her noise, which to me bespeaks of some level of affection, that he kept her alive/undead for seven years. With JC, that's much easier: a reconciliation with WWX!!! Their relationship to me is the true center of the show. At least with this one it's open-ended and very possible. He needs what's left of his family! I'm sure Jin Ling will be on the case. I feel like the show ended with more of a "down" for him than WWX's "up"--WWX is last shown smiling with LWJ, the past in the past, while JC has just had the last 16ish years of accomplishments wiped away (in his mind), his insecurity complex flaring back up ("clown"), and his brother just tells him to just forget everything and move on as if WWX doesn't care enough to be hung up on the collapse of their relationship. I need another JC smile! What I'd change: more JC-adjacenet, but Yanli would survive! Just let her survive!!

[zhuhongs]

Why didnt mxy just leave wwx like...a note detailing who he had beef with and why he wanted them dead.. like HOW was wwx (freshly reawakened and doesnt want to be back anyways) supposed to know that j*ggy did such awful things when all he rlly knew abt jiggy was that he was looked down upon for his upbringing and won over jgs favor for killing wrh. Like if he just gave him some context this shit wouldve been over a lot faster..idk

[anunvalidcritic]

The Boys: SN1.4

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

My dudes here is the fourth episode for ya...

                               THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES

I’m assuming that the episode could be the climax since there are only 8 episodes in this installment... I’ll stfu... moving on...

I’m sorry but the lovemaking scene isn’t needed... there I fucking said it!

This female lowkey looks like an older version of Joey King

Butt ass naked eatin’ hot pockets while watching an old video of the female he was in bed with... this must be BECCA.

I’m surprised the DEPUTY DIRECTOR/SUSAN hasn’t gotten used to these surprise yet. 

SUSAN’s bossy but I like it!!

POPCLAW = SNITCH 

“You know I’d rather be rubbin’ them toes.” - M.M. (SMOOTHIES)

“If you and Monique so something pure then why are you lying to her about where you are?” - FRENCHIE

Damn, they really just walked down there like it was nothing... nobody even tried to stop them...

What the hell... is that J-POP?!?!

FRENCHIE >> I spy with my little eye a female.

oHHH SHIT that BITch IS FAST!!!!!!!!

DAAMMMNNN THAT DUDE KILLED HIMSELF JUST SO HE WOULDN’T GET FUCKED UP!!!

Is THE DEEP really in therapy??

-___-

.... I hope he doesn’t get jiggy with the animals....

Back to the boys

M.M. has finally found the Compound V

looks like FRENCHIE has sort of train ticket

While HUGHIE has a whole date with STARLIGHT.

“As a rule, I kinda don’t go out after gorey murders.” - HUGHIE

QUEEN MAEVE huffin’ and puffin’ like she already knows what this motherfucker HOMELANDER is going to do. 

CHERIE baby girl FRENCHIE is cheating on you, my dude. 

Homeboy pullin’ out the bodies looks like DAVE CHAPPELLE. 

A-TRAIN know she’s lyin’... bruh... don’t tell him...

THE FEMALE JUST FUCKED THAT BITCH UP!!!!!!

STARLIGHT was really holdin’ back for this dude... that’s so sweet...

Damn that bowling ball kinda startled me too

Of course, the people hijacking the plane are Arabic...

So they got all 3 of the hijackers. 

Well, I’ll be damnd there’s another one. 

HOMELANDER is still that fake ass bitch

Dang, he really needs to watch where he’s aiming his fucking eyes.

HOMELANDER AIN’T SHIT HE COULD’VE SAVED EVERYONE ON THAT FUCKING PLANE!!!!!!!!!! CAPTAIN AMERICA WOULD NEVER!!!

how many languages does M.M. know??

FRENCHIE puttin’ all this shit together. 

There goes that J-POP music video again. 

FRENCHIE + THE FEMALE = OTP

Remember HUGHIE you’re doing this for ROBIN.

HUGHIE = WHITE URKEL

damn so that’s what happened to MALLORY

SPICE GIRLS

SPORTY SPICE > pretty much not doing anything

POSH SPICE > “Making clothes for anorexics. Not much of a growth market.” - BUTCHER

BABY SPICE > “Fuck all. Not even page six of the daily mail.” - BUTCHER

SCARY SPICE > “Up to her eyeballs in lawsuits and sex tapes.” - BUTCHER

GINGER SPICE > “Has 3 albums: Passion, Schizophonic, and Scream If You Wanna Go Faster.... They’ll all make your ears bleed.” - BUTCHER

“When they’re apart their absolute fucking rubbish. But you put them together they’re the goddamn fucking spice girls.” - BUTCHER

Maybe that’s the concert BECCA was talking about when she was in bed with him. 

THE DEEP has lost his fucking mind he stole a dolphin ladies and gentlemen...

I think he fucks the animals...

OH MY GOD PLEASE DON’T LET THE DOLPHIN DIE..... NOOOOOO

A-TRAIN SNATCHED HER ASS UP REAL QUICK!!!!!!!

MY GOD HE IS REALLY MESSING THIS GIRL UP!

FRENCHIE + THE FEMALE = <3

THE FEMALE is non-equivalent to a spice girl

you know I’m getting really tired of this facade that HOMELANDER is showing towards these people. 

______

Episode 5 is done I just have to upload it. 

[finsaraan]

i just want you to know - this is the abridged version. i wrote something longer. and it was really prosey fancy and vaguely like an actual ficlet, but i felt like, there isn’t a chance in hell of anybody finishing this unless i file off at least a few paragraphs and fill it with the amusing use of casual language and luis-from-ant-man-style retellings to juxtaposition the setting and theme of the story being told

anyway @kohledtouch @championofstendarr @laelaloola (especially u u agreed to this and u didn’t even kno, this is a lesson in looking before u leap) y’all enabled this, gotta face the consequences of ur actions hit me up w/ how many paragraphs u got in before ur soul left ur body and idk what i’ll owe u but i’ll owe u something LMAO

Well he’s Titus Mede II’s son and his name is Alexandros and his mum is Olympias the emperor’s second wife and she married him when she was 17 bc her family wanted the power and she’s a descendant of a usurped Septim emperor from way yonder through the mists of time. So she has this baby boy, hooray, he’s adorable with his wavy blond hair and his odd eyes, one’s blue one’s green, and he spends his childhood frolicking barefoot through the White Gold Tower’s private gardens which it would realistically have as the home of the royal family, and chilling with the soldiers in the barracks, and the grooms in the stables, learning filthy language and all about war. His parents don’t get on because his mum doesn’t take shit lying down and doesn’t and never did love her husband, so if he’s remotely rude to her, which he can be because he’s just like that but also stressed all the time, she snaps right back and then he snaps back because he’s a proud man and not good at apologising and then it spirals out of control. 

One day in particular when Alexandros is four, it’s soon after the death of his older sister, who was the crown princess and very capable and absolutely doted on by the emperor who’s distraught about it still, he goes to his mum’s room late at night only for the emperor to come in soon after absolutely sloshed, immediately getting his kit off, and Olympias, hoping to make him go away and also shield her baby’s eyes, hides Alexandros and says ‘no we can’t do the do it’s that time of the month’ but he’s like ‘you said that a week ago you HAG’ but now that she has her baby she’s feeling very protective so she snaps right back more viciously than usual so they start a proper shouting match until Alexandros bursts out screaming SHE HATES YOU GO AWAY GO AWAY, only to be grabbed by a stunned and horrified and slightly embarrassed (bc hes naked) emperor and tossed quite violently from the room. He’s caught by the guard on duty who takes good care of him while he screams because honestly that was a pretty traumatic experience. Once he’s put to bed and then up the next morning he doesn’t remember it, but it does scar him psychologically. The marriage goes downhill quite badly from there, it was their worst argument yet, there were a lot of insults, Titus feels very attacked by his now-crown-prince son’s apparent hatred of him, Olympias is livid that he handled her baby so roughly - it all makes everyone bitter.

Now when Alexandros is seven his education has yet to start and he’s a bit too cosy with the common soldiery that man the Tower, as someone puts it ‘he speaks as if he was conceived against a barrack wall’. Also, he hasn’t had a lot of interaction with his father, who doesn’t have time for children really and is still kinda put off by That Incident and by the very guarded way his son looks at him when the boy’s brought up for inspection days that let Titus see how he’s doing. So Titus thinks, to get him away from his mother’s influence, because she’s probably turning the boy against him (tbf she is), he’ll send him off to Cloud Ruler Temple to be mentored by this Penitus Oculatus commander called Leonidas. Leonidas thinks Alexandros is a spoilt brat. He has the child doing a soldier’s training from dawn until dusk, feeds him two spare meals a day, gives him shitty blankets and makes him sleep outside if he’s been disobedient (and if it’s not gonna kill him), and while this does mean that Alexandros is really good at taking hardship when he’s older - his soldiers will love him because he’s known for refusing to take food, water, or shelter if there isn’t enough for every single man - it’s also frankly irresponsible on Leonidas’s part, because he chronically underfeeds a growing boy, and Alexandros ends up significantly shorter than average for the rest of his life.

Now he’s twelve and his training with Leonidas is done, so he’s back home. He sings at a court banquet and a grumpy Titus Mede - who thinks he sounds a lot like his mother when he sings and is REALLY put off by it - humiliates him in front of everyone by telling him it’s a stupid waste of time for a prince to learn an instrument. Alexandros runs away and blackmails a soldier he knows, who's travelling home to sort a blood feud, into taking Alexandros with him. There’s a battle between two tiny villages and Alexandros makes his first kill, takes the head home, and feels a lot better knowing he is officially A Man at twelve when his dad didn’t have HIS first kill until he was sixteen. Now Alexandros gets his own retinue, a bunch of generals’ sons around his age, and he meets HEPHAESTION. Hephaestion is a babe, they hit it off immediately, and it’s barely any time at all before they’re completely inseparable. They’re soulmates. The same day that they meet, Alexandros makes another lifelong friend - the stallion Bucephalus, who nearly tramples some people in a panic at a horse fair, but Alexandros realises it's been mistreated and gentles it until it lets him ride it, ooh ahh very dramatic and you bet your ass Hephaestion is swooning in the background.

Fifteen years old, Alexandros is sent off with his friends to study some real important shit like philosophy and morality with a former Psijic monk (who isn’t actually former he says that but actually he’s an active Psijic - they sent him to try and influence Alex to take a good and wholesome path) called Aristotle. Alexandros never gets the hang of magic but he likes medicine and learning about nature and discussing abstract topics. Supposedly, doing this all in some chateau out in buttfuck nowhere is so he doesn’t get distracted but once again, Titus wants to separate Alexandros and his mother. The only time Alexandros leaves is to be summoned to various battles or sieges around the provinces for experience and because he and his father get on quite well when they’re out on campaign, they think the same tactically and Alex does admire his father really, he just feels guilty because his mother’s a woman with drama and flare running through her blood (descended from Tiber Septim rememeber), and lets him know when she feels betrayed. It’s a very emotionally scarring situation, because he can’t please one parent without angering the other. But on campaign it’s ok. He flourishes, he’s clearly got the knack, and the soldiers really love him ‘cause he comes into the healers’ tents to talk to the wounded men and tell them how brave they were. He’s got an incredible memory for names and faces, he never forgets anyone he’s met, and it’s a big thing when you’re just some lowly soldier and the crown prince remembers you and says he saw you, first up the wall in that siege, terrific job mate. He really craves the adoration of his people, it’s so much simpler than the mess his family is in. Be nice, make an effort, the lads love you. No nonsense there.

Sixteen now, he’s left as regent (of the entire empire!) when the emperor goes off on a longer campaign, but has to embark on his own one when there’s an issue with a big load of Forsworn. He does insanely well. He’s sixteen. Sixteen! Half of the enemies he comes across can’t even take him seriously, until he slaughters them. You stop laughing pretty fast when Alexandros’s legion comes at you. More than that, he gets there from the Imperial City faster than the soldiers sent from actual Skyrim, and they show up half way through like ‘whu?’ but Alexandros ropes them in no-nonsense and as they incredulously ask the Imperial soldiers ‘how old is this guy?’ they’re just given a knowing look and told ‘wait ‘till you see him in action, then you’ll know’.

At seventeen (he’s up to a lot now) his mum is pestering him to start churning out bastards because he’s unusually celibate for his age and status. She’s feeling very insecure because she’s engaged in some political fights and frankly the only reason she’s alive is because she’s wife of the emperor and mother of the crown prince; if she looses that status, she’s a goner, and at the moment the only reason she’s still married to Titus is because if he divorces her he weakens Alexandros’s claim to the throne and that could be chaos if Titus were to unexpectedly perish. So a potential heir from Alexandros would strengthen her position, and also give her another baby, which she wants because she’s feeling very excluded from Alexandros’s life. Rather than inevitably fail to walk the tightrope between his parents, he’s taken to only speaking to them when summoned, and confiding in Hephaestion for everything instead. After Alexandros dodges a series of prostitutes sent by his mother to get him producing and maybe separate him from Hephaestion a little, he pretends he slept with one to get his mother off his back, and ends up, in the aftermath, getting jiggy with Hephaestion for the first time instead. They’re as madly in love as ever. All their friends can tell It’s Happened, and some bets are finally won.

Now shit goes terribly wrong, and it’s about to get convoluted - the emperor takes a fancy to the daughter of one of his generals, Attalos. If she becomes his mistress, and has his children, and Titus really takes a shine to her, her noble birth makes her a really strong candidate for marriage, PLUS, Attalos is rumoured to be a Thalmor informant. That would put Olympias and Alexandros in the doghouse and in serious danger, but take a big weight off Titus’s shoulders, because he no longer has a mortal enemy in his house and a son influenced by said mortal enemy. Alexandros just tries not to rock the boat. On the return from a state visit, father and son and entourage are hosted by Attalos at his villa on the road. Attalos gets drunk and alludes to the potential union, suggesting any children from it are better than a child of Olympias, and then he insults Olympias a lot, thinking he’s being subtle, but he’s not, because he’s completely smashed. Alex is pissed. When he calls Attalos the fuck out, Titus gets pissed at him and tells him to check himself. Alex calls out him next, telling him to stand up for his own heir, unless he’s a desperate old man who’ll lick Attalos’s feet he’s that thirsty for the man’s daughter, who is frankly much too young for his old ass - also, they all know the rumours, Attalos is a filthy Thalmor informant, so he’s probably trying to suck up to them as well.

(The retelling of this gets him a lot of points amongst Thalmor-haters and if you hear it retold in certain places the string of inventive insults that prefix ‘Thalmor’ is about as long as the entire rest of the story.)

Titus is pissed, as you would be, to the point of drawing his sword, maybe a bit extreme, but he trips and falls on his face. Alexandros utters the immortal line ‘look, men, who the people thought would cross the tyrants for them - and he falls crossing from couch to couch’. Alexandros then has to book it, taking Olympias to her relatives in High Rock, then disappearing himself into the Druadach Mountains. He pisses Titus off for a bit by making it seems like he might be gathering allies in the mountains to go to war, but eventually messengers get sent back and forth and after a lot of debate, a peace is agreed to, and Alex and Olympias are welcomed back to the Imperial City. Things are still hella tense. Hoping to fix this, Titus sends Alexandros into Skyrim to deal with this civil war business that’s popped up, planning on following along later because his health is real fucked up just then. He’s been in a lot of battles, he’s like swiss cheese at this point.

Now at this point if I’m feeling indulgent, this is the point at which Alexandros turns out to be the Last Dragonborn and has to deal with all that shit. Otherwise, he just shows up and does his Alexandros thing, which is kicking ass and actually trying really hard to come to a peace agreement. The emperor wants to crush the Stormcloak rebellion entirely, but if Alexandros were to get his way - you know, like if he were to suddenly and unexpectedly become emperor himself - his offered treaty to Ulfric would be a formal apology for the failure of his father to honour his title as protector of the realm and chosen of the Divines; an offer of total religious autonomy, total autonomy in the deciding of any High King or Queen; and a getout clause that lets Skyrim legally secede from the empire if the jarls together decide that the current emperor/empress is failing in his or her duty to protect the rights and well-being of the citizens of Skyrim, failing to honour the gods that put them on their throne, offending egregiously the cultural beliefs of the people of Skyrim, or proving themself unworthy of the respect and power of the Ruby Throne.

Alexandros is real fucking confident. And he enjoys the enormous ‘fuck you’ he’s sending to any future rulers that don’t live up to these standards, because even if the treaty focuses on Skyrim, is they were to pull that getout clause and secede, everyone would follow whether it applies to them or not.

Back in Cyrodiil, while Alexandros is either being Dragonborn or not, the emperor is making plans to divorce Olympias and marry Attalos’s daughter but with legislation that secures Alexandros’s position as heir, hoping it’ll placate him even though his mother’s just been slapped in the face essentially. And on top of that, there’s a member of the Elder Council called Pausanias Orestes - he and the emperor were bang-mates, once upon a time, but Pausanias got dumped for a younger, hotter bloke. Pissed, Pausanias calls the guy a lil’ bitch, and the guy goes and gets himself killed being extra in battle to prove that he’s not. His kin, upset, have their revenge on Pausanias in a very dark and disturbing way because they don’t want to kill him because he’s still on fairly good terms with the emperor. Pausanias entreats the emperor to get him justice. Titus makes Pausanias head of his bodyguard, which is a very big favour, but doesn’t punish them that abused Pausanias. Eventually, Pausanias becomes a member of the Elder Council. Now here’s the thing; who’s the man that did that to Pausanias? It’s general Attalos, father of the girl emperor Titus Mede wants to marry, the man that’s about to achieve a real big power boost just by getting his daughter to bang the emperor. Oh dear. And guess who was with the entourage that stayed at Attalos’s villa the night of the bust up that Alexandros ended up having to flee; who had to stay in the house of the man that had wronged him and never been punished for it? Pausanias. Alexandros noticed this incredible cruelty at the time and apologised to Pausanias for it. Pausanias likes Alexandros for that reason. So when someone comes to Pausanias and says; we want to assassinate the emperor, and Alexandros is in on it, will you go to Skyirm and hire the Dark Brotherhood? Pausanias says yes. The thing is, Alexandros isn’t in on it; he’s far too pious to ever consider killing his own father. But there are those that thing the Medes are getting a little out of hand and if they all happened to die then that would be very handy for certain point-eared control-freaks who have a violent need to be absolute cunts and are the Tamrielic equivalent of that person who comes into your inbox and nitpicks your TES lore knowledge in a very condescending way, especially over things that are honestly subjective.