#jhope fluff au

[gldrushh]

GUILTY AS SIN | JK

"You are stuck in time, and Jungkook doesn't stop running from it until he eventually does, and you learn that grief doesn’t wait for death, that love isn't all that dignifying."

→ Pairing brother in law!Jungkook × widowed fem!reader

→ Genre forbidden love! au, childhood friends to lovers, angst, smut

→ W.C 17. 32k

→ Warnings unrequited love :(, oc is in love with his older brother, early character death of the said older brother who is haunting the narrative, cute childhood sweethearts who are doomed by me, mentions of dealing with grief and acceptance, mention of cancer, a minor scene where harassment is attempted,emotionally troubled! oc, emotionally troubled and detached! jk, simp jk, pathetic man in love, he's so so lovesick, ceo! jk, protective jk, yearning, pining, loads of angst, fluff if you squint, breif yoongi mention, namjin yay!!,rich people party, mentions of anxiety,sexual tension,slow burnish,smut (omg everyone look away), kissing, unprotected sex (raw and deep, next question),dirty talking, oc is insecure,hickies,oral (f! Receiving), he cums in his pants,big dick jk, soft Dom Jungkook, fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, praise, cuddles if you squint again

→ Playlist Guilty as sin, control, killing me softly with his song, do I wanna know?

→ A/N the idea of this one shot came to me at 1 am when I was supposed to be studying for a test that probably my future depends upon and after much much complementing I'm finally posting it. To me, its very experimental and I was just trying to explore my writing style and writing things that I haven't before, like smut 🫠 so please please bear that in mind!! I hope you enjoy reading and if you did please comment!! It makes my whole day 🥰💕💕

P.S: cross posted on wattpad.

It is a believed fact that it takes three to four short months to fall in love. 

For you, it took one summer. The summer spent watching him sketch galaxies in the dirt with a twig, summer spent learning the way his laughter sounded after stealing popsicles from the freezer, summer spent holding his hand as they made paper planes under the blazing sun. It was the kind of love that grew roots so deep, you couldn’t separate where he ended and you began.

That summer, you met Minho. The boy next door with a mind as wild as his curls and a heart so warm it seemed to shine blindingly bright. He showed you how to climb trees, told stories he'd crafted all by himself, convincing you that the universe could be held in the palm of your hand. He shared his world with you, and you fell in love with it.

You kissed his cheek on the porch of your house one late July evening, bold and brimming with the kind of confidence only childhood summers could bring. “Now you’re gonna have to marry me, Min Min,” you teased, hands behind your back, your toes curling against the wooden floorboards.

He blushed, a shade of red that rivaled the setting sun, but his grin mirrored yours.

The porch of your house was a witness to many things. Your first steps, held your first scraped knees, your first dog and Minho's new brother; your new friend.

A boy of your age, younger than Minho had appeared from right behind him, his hands clutching onto Minho's flannel, his watchful eyes going everywhere all at once. The kind of boy who never spoke unless he had to, the kind who was more familiar with loss than comfort, lingering on the edges of things, unsure if he belonged.

Jungkook.

Now, Jeon Jungkook.

You and his brother had taken it upon themselves to bring him into your fold, turning your duo into a trio. With time, he laughed with you both, trusted you both, became one of you both.

The three of you were inseparable— in the backyard of your house, in elementary school, in high school. How could you not be? You had tied the promise in the form of handmade friendship bracelets around the wrist of both boys.

Even though what you wanted with minho was far from friendship. A bold dreamer, you always have been. But not so much when you turned sixteen. Sixteen; what a awkward age.

An age of overthinking haircuts, dreams, and the lives your peers are gonna live all at once. Visits to the school councilor are doubled. Relationships happen; Friends part.

But you only grew closer with Jungkook. He didn’t seemed interested in making a move on the timid, short haired girl who passed him notes in chemistry class, neither did he talk much about the future. When you asked him what he wanted to do, he’d shrug and say something like, “Whatever makes sense at the time.” He wasn’t aimless, exactly—just grounded in a way that made you think he didn’t feel the need to plan everything out.

Minho, though, was spiraling.

He now spent more time with the councilor that he spent with you both. Had this bitter look on his face every morning you saw him on the bus stop that will have you sharing a knowing look with Jungkook—Minho had been having a lot of fights with his dad, had been overthinking a lot more because the world seemed so much bigger than he had imagined.

Maybe for the eldest son and heir to a family that ran a company as old as the town itself, the world really was big. But to you, he was just a hopeful boy with all the colors in his eyes. The colors that you loved. The colors that didn't belong in a office, crunching numbers.

Your heart ached for him, but you didn’t know what to say. At sixteen, nobody has the answers.

Seventeen is a different story. It's a starlight dream. It's you acing the college entrance test. It's Minho surfacing back. It's Minho kissing you on that very same porch, promising, “One day, we’ll have our own porch, and I’ll kiss you there every day.”

And he was one to keep his promises.

You married him at twenty-five, in crisp autumn. To your family and friends, it was "About time." To you, it was nothing short of a dream as you walked to promise forever to the man you love, a vision in white. It was nothing big, just a dreamy intimate affair with soft twinkling string lights. Something you both agreed on. Because you were content with what you had, overjoyed actually after picking out a quite cozy apartment for the both of you and landing a job as a humanities professor in a university that wasn't too far from the said apartment. Minho was too and while things weren't the same with his father now, he did what he loved. Ever the artist at heart.

It was like everything you ever wrote in your middle school diary, everything you wished for was now laid under your feet like a carpet unfolding.

You were given a good time before it started pulling away from your feet.

At first, it was subtle. A missed dinner here, a canceled hangout there. Then he told you both he’d taken up an opportunity abroad to manage the family business, something Minho had no interest in, just on the night of your wedding after he had fulfilled his role of the groom's best man, watched you walk down the aisle.

You hadn’t seen the decision coming—not that night, not like this—but you couldn’t deny it either. Jungkook had seemed restless here, especially after finishing college.Conversations with him in those days had been brief, distracted, his eyes darting to the distance even as he smiled at you. It felt as you were trying to talk to the Jungkook who had appeared on your porch the first time. He hadn’t asked for understanding, and you hadn’t known how to offer it. His reasons were vague, more like placeholders for something unsaid. And so he left, quietly, with little fanfare, and though Minho seemed sad to see him go, you could tell he understood.

“It’s good for him,” Minho had said. “He deserves something for himself.”

Relationship happened; Friends parted.

You weren't sure if you understood. While you agreed with Minho, you couldn’t help but feel the loss of a friend now that his calls became less frequent until they stopped altogether. One day, he was simply gone, leaving behind only the memory of the boy who had once trusted you with his rare, precious smiles.

"You’d laugh if you saw me right now. I tried to fix the leaky sink in the kitchen, and now the entire floor is flooded. Minho’s being no help—just standing there laughing."

"Hey, stranger. Our anniversary is next weekend. We’re just doing a small dinner. You should come. Seriously, koo, don’t make me guilt-trip you."

"Saved you a slice of cake, but Minho ate it. You’d better show up next year, or I’ll stop saving you anything."

"Hey, Koo. Just checking in. Hope you're healthy and happy. Would love to hear from you"

You'd text him timely, in hopes that he still knows how to use a phone. But apparently, not.

Still, you had Minho. Your husband, your best friend.

Until you didn't.

Until the carpet was at last, snatched right down from your feet.

The diagnosis came in the spring. It started with a faint weakness in his voice. A shortness of breath he dismissed with a wave of his hand. “Just tired,” he’d say, smiling that same easy smile. But tired turned into tests. Tests turned into results. And results turned into a diagnosis that was oh so cruel.

Leukemia. Early stages. Aggressive.

The months that followed were a blur of hospital visits, treatments, and quiet nights where you held him as he cried. You tried to be strong, for him, for both of you. Told him what the doctor in the sterile white office will tell you. "They've caught it early so we're not at a great risk here." You'd reassure him. "You have yet to get away from me, min min." You'd try making him laugh but he had always been better at that.

Now, suddenly he wasn't. The next two years, your life was just the slow, agonizing process of watching the man you loved fade away, losing every bit of his lively soul to the cancer, holding his hand when he was too weak to hold yours back.

Perhaps it wasn't only Minho who was chipping away. It was you too.

You turned into the woman who knew exactly how to track medication schedules, who could list every side effect of his treatment in order of severity, who spoke with doctors as if reciting a memorized script. You learned how to bite back the frustration when he snapped at you because he was in pain, and how to smile when all you wanted was to scream at the unfairness of it all.

You started to measure time not in days or months but in cycles of chemotherapy, in percentages of remission and relapse. Life was divided into hours spent in sterile hospital rooms, waiting for results that were never as hopeful as you needed them to be, and hours spent at home trying to pretend those results didn’t exist.

You had stopped dreaming. And minho had stopped painting.

Grief doesn’t wait for death— or so you've realized as you often found yourself grieving the life you had built together, the one you knew would never be the same. You grieved the sound of his laugh, which became quieter as the months passed. You grieved the way he used to tease you about your love for terrible reality shows, You grieved the mornings spent tangled together, talking about everything and nothing.

By the time the end came, you had already lost so much of him that you thought you might be prepared.

You weren’t.

And then he was gone.

With an, "I'm sorry. I love you." He was gone.

The house was too quiet without him, the days too long. You withdrew, not just from the world but from yourself, letting grief shape the edges of your existence.

The world moved on, even if you didn’t. They tell you how long it takes to fall in love but not how long it takes to get over it.

2 years, 240 days. And you're still counting.

Time passed in pieces—fractured and unrelenting.

Your family, Minho’s family, even well-meaning friends—none of them knew what to do with the mess you’d become, so they did what people often did. They tried to fix it. To fix you.

Blind dates were their answer, little nudges toward what they called healing. The word had been said so many times it began to lose its meaning. Healing. As if it were something—a destination you could stumble upon.

You didn’t have the energy to argue anymore, so you let them dress you up, hand you phone numbers, and convince you that this—whatever this was—was what you needed.

But your heart wasn’t in it.

Because as the man sat in front of you in the dimly lit bar continued to talk about how his ex couldn't handle his success, the trials of being a man with ambition, you really couldn't even bother to pretend you were interested. He was nice enough—tall, well dressed (consdering the dingy bar) with a confident smile but your thoughts kept drifting, as they often did.

2 years, 240 days since Minho had died.

2 years, 240 days of waking up alone in your bed, his side untouched.

2 years, 240 days of trying to find your way back to the woman you used to be.

“Hey,” the man interrupted your thoughts, leaning forward with an eager grin. “I feel like I’m talking too much. Tell me about yourself. What do you do for fun?”

You forced a smile, your stomach twisting. “I paint. It’s... therapeutic.”

“That’s nice,” he said, reaching across the table to touch your hand. You pulled back instinctively, your stool scraping against the floor. His brows furrowed.

“Sorry,” you muttered. “I just—”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he said, but his tone was tighter now. He leaned back, shrugging as if trying to dismiss the moment. “You know, you should loosen up a little. You’ll never find anyone if you keep acting like you’re still married.”

The words hit you like a slap, your chest tightening as you struggled to process the audacity of his statement. “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying,” he continued, ignoring the warning in your tone, “you should give people a chance. I mean, you’re here, right?” He smirked and stood, coming around the table. “Let me take you home. We can—”

“Stop,” you said sharply, rising to your feet.

But he didn’t listen. His hand reached for your arm, his grip firm.

Then, just as suddenly as he’d grabbed you, he was gone.

The man stumbled backward, a hand jerking him by the collar. The force was so swift, so unexpected, that it took you a moment to register what had happened.

And then you saw him.

“..Jungkook?” The name caught in your throat as you turned.

You took in the man standing before you, taller and broader than you remembered, the years etched into the sharp lines of his jaw and the set of his shoulders. His dark eyes were fixed on the man who had dared to touch you, glinting coldly.

His voice was low, dangerous. “She said stop. I suggest you listen.”

For a moment, the world tilted.

You weren’t in a dingy bar anymore.

You were standing at the edge of a memory—the first time you’d ever seen Jungkook, the quiet boy who clung to Minho’s shadow.

And the last.

The last time you’d seen him, a looming figure in an ocean of black suits. A barely recognizable shadow among the mourners at your husband's funeral.

Now, standing before you, he was real, tangible—and so was the flood of emotions crashing over you.

It was so loud, you could barely hear as the the man stammered out an excuse, something about a misunderstanding.

“Leave.” Jungkook snapped, his voice sharp enough to cut and bring you back to the moment.

The man hesitated, his mouth opening as though he wanted to argue, but one glance at Jungkook’s expression and he decided against it. Without another word, he turned and stalked out, muttering something under his breath that neither of you caught.

Silence followed.

Only then did you felt his gaze on you. His presence was larger than life, and you were suddenly hyper-aware of how much had changed. How much he had changed. You hadn’t registered that at the funeral. Now, you didn't know what to say, you could hardly manage to look at him. While he wasn't Minho's real brother, didn't share any resemblance with him, it still hurt you, sucked you back into those times when it was the three of you, when it wasn't.

He too didn't reply right away, his gaze searching your face, as though he was also trying to piece together the version of you he remembered with the one standing before him now. When it landed on the arm you were clutching, the arm that dipshit had grabbed, you saw his eyes glint again.

"Did he hurt you?" It sounded more like a demand rather than a question but you couldn't even deciper the words, too focused on how his boyish tone had turned sharper, harder.

"W-What?" You fumble out like a fool.

"Did he hurt you, y/n?" This time, you heard him.

Letting your hand fall, embarrassed, you shook your head, finally managing to utter something sensible out. “No—yeah. I’m fine.”

He glanced back at the door that man had fled from before looking back at you. Finally, he exhaled, his voice low and quiet.

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

You blinked. “My phone?” You don't remember getting a call from anyone but then you realize your battery had died down as you looked down to see your dead device laying flat. "Oh. I didn't realis—"

“Mom said you’d been gone a while. Told me where you were.” He interrupted. There was an edge to his voice now, faint but undeniable.

You feel more embarrassed now that you know it's because of your mother in law's anxious nature that he is here. Your fingers brushed against the strap of your purse, desperate for something to do, something to hold onto as he speaks again. "Are you ready to leave?"

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, the words tumbling out before you could think them through. “I can get a cab.”

His brows furrowed, just slightly, and you noticed for the first time the faint shadows beneath his eyes, the hint of weariness in his expression. “It’s late,” he said simply.

"So?”

“So,” he echoed, his tone calm but unyielding, “I’ll take you.”

You hesitated, your pride and your exhaustion warring within you. Finally, you exhaled out in defeat, reaching for your coat. It's just a thirty minute ride. You reassured yourself. It'll be fine.

The cool night air wrapped around you and so did your coat as you stepped outside, and the streetlights cast long shadows that flickered as you walked toward his car. He opened the passenger door for you, his movements deliberate, and waited for you to slide in before closing it softly behind you.

The drive started in silence.

It wasn’t the silence of old friends, the kind that felt easy and safe. This was different—fraught, taut, like a thread stretched too tight.

You stole a glance at him as he started the engine, too aware of the small space you were packed in with him.

“I didn’t know you were back,” you said finally, your statement sounding more accusatory that you or he would have liked.

“Just for a little while,” he replied, his tone ofcourse, unfazed. “Business.”

Buisness. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at the word. If someone could look like that word, you thought, it'd be the man in the fine tailored suit with eyes fixed on the road ahead and a rolex that didn't look any more cheaper than the car he was driving and you wondered.

Wondered if the lines of his palms—the callouses from late-night basketball games, the way they had felt solid and familiar when he held yours to steady you on the wobbly bike Minho had convinced you to ride—had changed too.

Had they turned forigen, unyielding? Had time eroded their familiarity?

When the car slowed, you glanced out the window, expecting to see the acquinated sight of your apartment building. But instead, the streetlights gave way to a quieter, darker road. You frowned, turning to him.

“This isn’t the way to my place.”

“I know,” he said simply, not bothering to elaborate. "You're coming with me."

You felt your chest tighten, your pulse quickening as unease prickled at the back of your neck. “Jungkook,” you started, the word heavy with protest.

"Y/N." He ends, sparing you a glance that has you sinking back into your seat, arms folded across your chest like a petulant child that you could swear made his lips twitch at the corner, you could swear you saw your old friend who had grown a sassy tounge at the age of fourteen that'd earn smacks at the head from his older brother for a fleeting cruel second there. But that was it. It was gone as fast as it had appeared, summoning the return of the silence that felt like its own living thing.

The house was still the same.

That was the first thing you noticed as the car slowed down in front of the building that loomed at the end of the road like a memory waiting to consume you.

The overhead lights still flickered faintly, casting shadows across the steps where you and Minho had once sat, daring each other to stay outside until the stars disappeared. Even the smell was the same—faintly woody, with the comforting hint of whatever candle Jungkook’s mom always lit in the hallway.

You hesitated in the doorway, the memories rushing in too fast, too loud. It's not like you haven't been here in ages but since the year you celebrated your first marriage anniversary with Minho here, it felt like you have lived a thousand lives.

Lives that haunted you still, made you randomly pause in the grocery aisle and now before this house until you felt Jungkook’s presence press behind you as if silently urging you on.

Clearing your throat, you slipped out of your heels that have been as much as pain as the man you had been on a date with. The floor creaked softly beneath your feet as you stepped inside, the sound jarring. The same hardwood floors, polished to a faint sheen. The same floral wallpaper lining the hallway. The same photo frames arranged along the wall—a collection of childhoods captured and frozen in time.

But as you glanced toward the corner of the living room where the three of you used to pile up pillows and blankets for makeshift forts. The corner was bare now, save for an old armchair, but in your mind, you saw it vividly: Minho’s determined grin as he shuffled the pillows, Jungkook, always following the lead but never quite competing for it. You would snuggle a pillow to your lap, nestled between the two brothers, peeking from behind your fingers and giggling at the the way Minho’s face would light up in triumph when he won another round of rock-paper-scissors.

A type of smugness that came from knowing he’d get to flick Jungkook’s forehead next. But your smile would fade as soon as you would realize that it's your turn next. “Wait, wait!” you’d plead, wide-eyed, deploying the best puppy-dog look you could muster. It was the same look that had, on occasion, earned you extra TV time with your dad. Jungkook would glance at you and chuckle. Relent like your father would and sheild your forehead with his palm that'd have Minho pouting. "Hey! That's not how you do it!"

"Y/N?" A well recognized voice pulled you back to the where you were supposed to be, back from the fort of pillows and blankets.

You turned around and instantly found yourself wrapped up in a tight hug. You managed a small smile, letting your arms wrap around the warm frame of your mother in law, the scent of her jasmine oil and apprehensive energy pulling you in. "Mom." You greeted back.

Mrs Jeon hadn't always been this.. overbearing. Though after the passing of your husband, she had teamed up with your mother and been on a determined mission to make sure you are well and on a road to healing.

The next few minutes, she did what she had been doing best—fussed over you, asking how you’d been, if you’d eaten, if you were warm enough. In that time being, Jungkook had resigned to wherever his room was.

You planned to do the same, especially now that you could see on her face how she is on the brink of asking about the disaster tonight. You showed some obvious sign of weariness, in hopes she'd let it go for the night and tell you where you're supposed to go to bed for.

"Third on the left, my dear. And I'm gonna need you to stay for breakfast, okay?" You wondered if stubbornness was a running streak in this family.

Hours later, sleep had yet to come.

You lay awake, staring at the ceiling, counting the faint grooves in the plaster as if they could somehow lull you into rest. The trick didn't work. It hadn’t worked in your own apartment either—the one you and Minho had picked out together, picked the colors of the walls together, and argued over where the bookshelf should be. Yet, it was still your space. You could control how you faced the memories there, pacing them, deciding when and how to confront them.

There, at least, you’d managed four or five hours of sleep on a good night. Here? In this house that held so much of him, so much of them, you weren’t sure you’d manage even one.

The room you were led to was neat and welcoming, the kind of space that had been carefully prepared for guests. But there was no comfort to be found in the knowledge that two doors down lay Minho’s childhood room, untouched, a shrine to a boy who grew up into the man you loved and lost.

At some point, you gave up.

Sliding out of bed, you wrapped your arms around yourself as you padded quietly downstairs. The house was silent as you made your way downstairs, the faint hum of the refrigerator the only sound, the indistinct glow from the kitchen spilling into the dimness. You didn’t expect to find anyone there, but as you rounded the corner, your steps faltered.

Jungkook stood by the counter, a glass of amber liquid in his hand, his other resting on the marble surface. His jacket was gone, abandoned somewhere, leaving him in his dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Tattoos.

They sprawled across his skin, intricate designs etched into muscle and sinew, that you didn't think you'd ever see on him.

Perhaps you thought wrong. Perhaps you never knew. Never knew him.

He glanced up, his dark eyes meeting yours that looked just as caught off guard as yours did. For a moment, you didn't feel comfortable moving from your spot until he eventually spoke.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, his voice quiet.

You shook your head, stepping into the kitchen. “Needed some water.” You said and opened a cabinet, finding the glasses exactly where you remembered, and filled one with water.

Behind you, Jungkook leaned against the counter, his presence impossible to ignore. Funny, how he always preferred to blend in the background as a child, now his mere cologne—earthy and warm—demanded attention, filled the room before he had even entered.

“Do you… do you drink often now?” you asked hesitantly, glancing over your shoulder, at the way his fingers curled around the glass, the tattoos on his hand shifting as he tilted it.

“Sometimes.” he said, his tone vague.

If things were anything like before between you two or anything like before at all, maybe you'd have pushed further, asked him if this was growing to be a unhealthy habit.

Now, it didn’t seem right when there was an ocean between you—a chasm of time. Felt intrusive. And you know it would only sound hypocritical from your mouth—talking about unhealthy mechanisms. Hah.

You ended up only nodding and put the washed glass back so you could go back to counting the grooves in the plaster. Resume your restless attempt at sleep.

But Jungkook spoke again.

"How long have you been going on.." He started suddenly, setting his glass down with a quiet clink. His voice was calm, but the muscle in his jaw twitched as he spoke. "These dates?"

You blinked at him, taken aback by the question. "Uh—for a while now, I guess?"

“Are you willing, or are they forcing you?”

The question, the way he asked it—sharp, direct—left you off balance. So did the way he was looking at you now, his eyes no longer holding the casualty as they once did when he had the glass of alcohol in his hand.

“I—” You faltered. “They just want to help. They think it’s time.”

“And what do you want?”

To go back to your room. To ask him what did it even matter to him, after all this time.

But what came out was forthright honesty. “I don’t know,” you admitted, “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

He stepped closer, his feet padding softly against the kitchen floor—a contrast to his rigid frame that now towered just close enough. Close enough to see how his chest rose and fell with every breath. Close enough to see how his eyes lingered on you, like he was trying to unravel something he didn’t understand.

“You don’t have to do anything for them or anyone,” he said, his voice soft but no less rough. “Not if you’re not ready.”

You opened your mouth to respond, to deflect, to do something, but his gaze held you in place, tracing down from the dark circles that weighted your eyes to your parted lips. All you could feel was his gaze burning on you and hear your own pulse in your ears.

“Jungkook…” His name escaped your lips in a whisper, barely audible.

He lingered for a beat longer, his eyes searching yours, then he stepped back, his jaw just as tight. “Get some rest.” He clipped out before he turned and walked away, leaving you alone again.

You didn't got any sleep that night.

8:00'o clock. The time's a etched number in your brain ever since you started your job at the university.

It's a routine that needs no alarm clock. It's a number you keep waiting for as you blink at the time passing. And you're more than eager when the morning comes softly along with smaller needle stopping at 8, sunlight slipping through the curtains in streaks too gentle to match the weight in your chest.

With Minho, you were the one to wake up first but here you find that the house was awake before you.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee drifted through the air, mingling with the faint sound of voices coming from the dining room. Breakfast was warm and lively, much like your mother in law. She greeted you with a brightness that almost made you feel guilty for your somber disposition.

“Good morning!” she said with a smile that could have been plucked from a painting. Reaching for a plate of toast, setting it down in front of the empty seat beside her.

“Good morning.” you murmured, sliding into a chair.

Across the table, your father in law sat at his usual spot, his attention fixed on his phone, only looking up to give you a nod of acknowledgment. You had never fully understood him, not as Minho’s father, not as a man.

Perhaps, It had always been because of the sore spot between him and your husband, the way his father disapproved of his wishes—choosing art over business, passion over practicality. You remembered the arguments you thought would never hear after the age of sixteen, the way Minho would come home, his face tight with frustration. “He doesn’t get it,” he’d say. “He never will.” You saw the way it wore on him, the way he carried the weight of his father’s disapproval like it was stitched into his very skin.

Even now, as you sat across from him, you wondered if he ever regretted it—if he ever wished he had spoken softer, loved louder. But his face was as impassive as ever, his thoughts a mystery.

“Jungkook left early this morning,” his mother said, breaking the silence. “Something about a meeting downtown.”

You nodded, relief washing over you in a way that felt almost shameful. You hadn’t realized how much you were dreading seeing him until you knew you wouldn’t have to.

“Busy as always,” you said lightly, reaching for your coffee.

The conversation drifted into familiar topics—neighbors, extended family, stories you half-listened to with polite nods. The table felt both too full and too empty, the gazes of all the people that sat there never straying to the right one in the left corner, just right beside yours.

The older woman turned to you, her tone bright with enthusiasm.

“There’s a party this weekend,” she said, her smile widening. “Just a small gathering with some friends and business partners. It would be lovely if you came with us.”

The suggestion made you squirm uncomfortably in your chair. “Oh, I don’t think—”

“It’ll be good for you,” she interrupted gently, her gaze soft but insistent. “Everyone would love to see you.”

You hesitated, the thought of mingling with people, of putting on a brave face for strangers already making you want to go back to bed. “I’m not sure I’d be good company,” You glanced towards your father in law, half-hoping he might say something to discourage the idea, but he couldn't be any less bothered.

“Nonsense!” she pressed. “You don’t even have to stay long. But it would mean so much to us.”

There was no malice in her persistence, no attempt to guilt you, just a genuine desire to include you in their lives. You couldn’t bear to disappoint her.

“Okay,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll come.”

Her face lit up with a smile. “Wonderful. Jungkook will pick you up and bring you there. That way, you don’t have to worry about driving.”

You froze, cup midway to your mouth. "There's no need for that, mom."

"Oh hush." she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “He’ll be coming from the office, so it’s no trouble.”

You nodded slowly, your appetite not too great or you just wanted to get out of here.

8'30. You glanced at the rose gold wrist watch, your first anniversary gift. Your first class is due in an hour, the perfect excuse wrapped around your wrist which you use to excuse yourself from the suffocating walls that always feel like they are closing in on you.

You have come to prefer the morning buzz of the university more—the hum of young adults chatting in the hallways, the scrape of chairs against tiled floors.It was a rhythm you found comforting, predictable in its own way. Here, you were just a professor, the one who explained history and philosophy with hands that only shook sometimes.

The teenage year you would have thought predictable as boring but you— a woman gone through a dubious sets of events found a fellow feeling in it.

Found the task of grading thesis, making power point presentation better than you would have ever imagined.

But Gods, your students need to realize that they can't dump about their toxic ex in every essay. A woman can only take so much.

You were sorting through the said papers in your office when the door creaked open, and a woman peeked her head in, the light from the outside catching in her curly locks.

“You busy?” she asked, her voice light and familiar.

You looked up to see Mira, the economics professor and one of your closest colleagues, walking toward you with her usual warm smile. Mira was more than just a coworker though—being practically family, the wife of Minho’s dark haired cousin who didn’t talk much in family gatherings, and over the years, she had become a friend you could rely on and share lunch with.

“Not for you,” you said, smiling as you waved her in.

She dropped into the chair across from you, setting her bag on the floor. “You look like you didn’t sleep a wink.”

Was it that obvious?

“I didn’t,” you admitted, sighing softly. “I stayed at the Jeons’ last night.”

Her eyebrows rose, but there was something in her eyes—a softness, an understanding—that made you look away for a second. “How’d that go?”

You hesitated, picking at the edge of a notebook on your desk. “It was… fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Jungkook’s back,” you said, and her eyes widened slightly, the topic seeming to catch her attention.

“Really? I didn’t know he was in town.”

“Neither did I, until yesterday.” You shrugged, leaning back in your chair. “Just for a while, though. Business stuff, y'know?”

Mira tilted her head, a small, knowing smile tugging at her lips. “And how’s that going?”

You frowned, caught off guard by the question. “What do you mean?”

She shrugged, but her eyes stayed on you, curious. “I mean, it’s been years, hasn’t it?"

“Yeah,” you said slowly. "It's fine, I suppose. We didn't talk much."

“Hmm.” Mira hummed thoughtfully as if tasting the question she was gonna ask on her tounge. “Are you okay with him being back?”

Were you okay with him behind back? Okay with him stepping in your vicinity after years of acting like you were not even family, let alone a friend?

“I don’t know,” you admitted finally. “It’s strange seeing him again after all this time. But he’s been… kind. Quiet, mostly.”

Mira didn’t press further, but there was something in her expression that made you uneasy, as if she knew something you didn’t.

You cleared your throat, desperate to change the subject. “There’s a party this weekend. His mom invited me. Please tell me you’re going.”

Mira winced, her smile apologetic. “Date night with the husband. Non-negotiable.”

"Oh." You tried not to show the dejection on your face but it was there. "Lucky you."

She studied you for a moment, her expression gentle. “Are you okay with going?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I feel like I have to.”

“You don’t have to do anything for them. Not if you’re not ready.”

If only he understood how much easier it was to do things for others than to face yourself.

“Y/N…” Her voice softened, and for a moment, she looked like she wanted to say more. Instead, she reached out and squeezed your hand. “You’ll be fine. And if you’re not, you can text me. I’ll make up some excuse to get you out of there.”

You smiled, grateful for her before bidding bye to her for her next class and focusing back on the pending work spread across your desk while simultaneously going through your closet in your mind.

Minho had always said red made the brown of your eyes excel more.

And you have really tried to believe it, looking at yourself from above your shoulder, from the side of your arm in the mirror but perhaps it's not only this red, off shoulder dress that's not doing your eyes justice. It's every color you have once known, once loved.

It's like, it's you that's not doing them justice.

As you stared into the mirror, your eyes flitting from one detail to the next—the slightly uneven tuck of fabric, the exposed skin of your collarbone—it felt wrong.

The little things were missing—his hands fixing the clasp of your necklace, his voice telling you not to overthink it, that you looked beautiful. That it didn’t matter what you wore, because it was you who wore it.

But he wasn’t here.

With a sigh, you adjusted the necklace you had chosen yourself, a simple silver chain that rested delicately against your collarbone. The mirror wasn’t forgiving, but you looked anyway, searching for something familiar in your own reflection. You smoothed your hands over the fabric, told yourself this was just another party, and dodged the doubts of this being a mistake.

The knock at your door came too soon, sharp and punctual, like everything Jungkook had become.

You felt your stomach clench, nerves twisting with something else you couldn’t name. Smoothing your dress one last time, you crossed the small space of your apartment, pausing just before the door.

When you opened it, Jungkook was standing right before you.

He had stood on the edge of cliffs where oceans met skies too, in countless countries at that, walked through streets that droned with history. Scrawled through the wonders of the world—the kind that made poets immortalize them in verse—but nothing—nothing—would ever measure up to this.

To you.

You, standing in the doorway, framed by the soft glow of the hall light, your hair falling in waves that he had memorized long ago.

His chest tightened, the memory of another doorway bleeding into the moment as gaily as if it had just happened. He had been in the room meant for waiting, where your parents had sat moments before, your mother sniffling into a tissue, your father pacing in his polished shoes. Now it had been his turn.

The thought alone of being the second person to see you before you walked away from him for good had made his tie that he had been trying to get the hang off felt too stressed around his neck, his palms clammy despite the air conditioning. He rubbed them on his pants, glancing at the small clock on the mantle every few seconds. The minutes dragged, each one seemed longer than the other.

What would you look like?

The thought ran circles in his mind, only for a creak of the door to startle him back.

Footsteps had echoed in the quiet, minimizing the distance until he could practically feel the nervous energy of a bride bounce against his. "Okay. You can turn around now." He had heard you speak, had seen the skittish smile on your face before he even turned around.

And when he did, he felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room.

The dress hugged you like it had been designed with only you in mind, its soft fabric flowing as if in defiance of gravity. Your veil cascaded behind you, catching the light, and your smile was small, almost shy, as you looked up at him, waiting for his reaction.

“Well?” you prompted, turning slightly, your hands brushing the fabric at your sides. “What do you think?”

What did he think? He thought the universe was wicked for allowing him to witness this and still expect him to let you go.

He had swallowed hard, forcing his voice to steady when he finally said, “You look—” His tongue had faltered over every adjective that came to mind. Beautiful wasn’t enough. Breathtaking felt like a cliché. “Perfect.”

You—Beautiful, Devastatingly, so.

You—who weren’t his to look at this way.

He feels his breath catch, his hands clenching at his sides to keep himself from reaching for you.

Because while that version of you had been a dream, this version—worn, weathered, but still so unmistakably you—was real. And the reality of you had always been what he wanted most.

Fuck. He shouldn’t be here.

He shouldn’t have agreed to pick you up, shouldn’t have stepped into this space, should have kept the distance he had spent years bridging.

But he has always found himself hopeless and running back to wherever you were concerned, hopeless in a way that had him studying for a test he didn’t even have to keep you company or show up.. here. Content to be near you in whatever capacity he could. He told himself it was enough. That it would be enough to watch you from the sidelines, to sit across from you at family dinners.

It wasn’t.

Because Jungkook wasn't a virtuous man. He never had been.

Virtue belonged to his brother—the one who could weave dreams out of thin air, who saw the world in colors Jungkook had never learned to name. His brother—Minho��who had been the light, the warmth that people, he gravitated toward. He had admired Minho, even envied him, resented him in ways he never admitted aloud and kept it in shadows.

When Minho died, the shadow became a man. And that man had spent years running.

Running into work, into unfamiliar cities, into the kind of purpose that left no room for thought. No room for the times when everything was right, when he tasted family and friendship for the first time ever, no room for the last time he tasted it when you walked down the aisle to his brother looking at him like he was the sun and how it burned, how he had burned with nails biting into his palms.

And only men with no integrity burn. Men who are cowards, restless, afraid of thier own greed try to run, in hopes that the distance would save them.

But distance didn’t save men like Jungkook.

Because here he was again, standing before you, the fire still smoldering.

“Hi,” you said softly, your voice pulling him back, creating a doubt in his belief.

“Hi,” he replied, his own tounge feeling heavy in his mouth.

“You’re early,” you said, your tone carefully light.

He cleared his throat, his hands slipping into the pockets of his slacks in an attempt to keep them to themselves. “Traffic was lighter than I expected. Are you ready to leave?"

You nodded and he stepped back, revealing his sleek Mercedes benz parked just right in front. He let you walk before him, watching how your movements were hesitant, as if the ground beneath your feet wasn’t entirely steady. He wanted to ask you if you were okay. He wanted to tell you it was okay if you weren't.

He settled for opening the car door for you.

“Thanks for this,” you said, your gaze fixed on the passing streetlights. “I know it’s probably the last thing you want to do.”

His grip tightened against the leather of the steering wheel with a force that made his knuckles ache. There was a rancorous way that you spoke to him, carefully restrained, that he couldn't even blame you for.

"It's not." He gritted out. "It's not a problem."

He had earned every inch of this gap between you, had spent years building it brick by brick, mile by mile. He's all to blame for. For carving the space between you with every ignored call, every excuse he made to avoid family dinners where you’d inevitably be.

For the leaving the wreckage in his wake—yours, his, theirs.

It wasn’t fair to hate the consequences of his own choices.

But hell, if he didn't outright loathed feeling like he was staring at a wall of frosted glass when he looked at you—where he could see the outline of you, but the details were blurred, distant. Like he had lost the privilge of knowing you from one glance, lost the privilge of having you speak up to him whenever you wanted, call him out, intoxicate him with your laughter that lightened up a room he wasn't even aware was dark. Found it fucking unbearable.

So much that he felt relief washing over him when the venue of the gathering came in view. A grand mansion, framed by manicured gardens and sprawling oaks that seemed to whisper old secrets to one another. It had a timeless elegance that made you wonder how many lives it had seen pass through its doors.

Small gathering, she said. You scoffed internally at rich people and their definition of small.

“Nice place,” you murmured as you walked beside him, your steps careful on the stone path after the car was eased into a parking spot.

“It’s the Kim's family home,” Jungkook said. You nodded, though the name didn’t spark much recognition. The Kims had been mentioned here and there at family dinners—names dropped in passing between sips of wine and shared laughter. You had barely paid attention then, too busy suppressing laughs at the jokes that Minho whispered near.

The front doors were open, the faint scent of fresh flowers and expensive cologne wafting out to greet you. Inside, the space was as opulent as expected—high ceilings adorned with crystal chandeliers, polished floors that gleamed under the soft light, and clusters of well-dressed guests milling about with drinks in hand.

A tall man stood near the entrance, his broad shoulders and sharp jawline making him impossible to miss. Beside him, another man stood with a softer air, his eyes crinkling with warmth as he leaned into the first man’s side.

The taller of the two men turned, his expression lighting up as he spotted Jungkook. “There he is,” He said, his deep voice carrying effortlessly.

"Hyung." Jungkook softened, clasping hands in a firm shake before pulling each other into a brief hug, the kind that spoke of collaboration and respect.

You shifted awkwardly on your feet, your fingers curling around the strap of your purse as you wondered whether to step back and leave him to his conversation or stay and risk being out of place.Would it be rude if you chose the former?

You were saved from your uncertainty when the two of them pulled away from Jungkook and took you in, a gleam of recognition passing through their face. Recognition, shock, then pity. You know how it went.

“You must be Y/N,” the taller one said, his gaze shifting to you with a warm smile.

You blinked, clearly caught off guard by the direct attention. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Kim Namjoon ” he said, offering his hand. “And this is Seokjin, my partner.” You smiled, nodding in acknowledgment before taking the hand of the charming one in the beige suit. “It’s nice to meet you, both. This is a beautiful venue.” You assume that they're the hosts of the party. The Kims that this house belonged to.

“Thank my father for that,” Namjoon said with a chuckle. “Sixty years old and still insists on hosting the most extravagant parties. He’d never let me live it down if I didn’t pull out all the stops.”

“Extravagant is an understatement,” Seokjin chimed in, his tone playful as he glanced at Namjoon. “I’m pretty sure half the flowers in the city ended up here.”

You smiled again, but it faltered when Seokjin's expression changed in a beat.

“We’ve heard a lot about you too,” he said gently, his gaze dipping briefly to Jungkook before meeting yours again.

You tilted your head, curiosity flashing across your face. “All good things, I hope.”

“Of course,” Namjoon assured you. “Your family is well-regarded, and we-we're sorry about Minho. He was brilliant in every sense of the world. We can't even imagin—"

“Thank you,” you said softly, trying really hard to not let the tightening of your throat strain your voice. “He was.”

Jungkook watched as your smile faltered, just slightly, at the mention of Minho. He decided to steer the conversation away but you recovered quickly, offering a polite nod and beat him to it.

There was a brief, loaded pause before you glanced at Jungkook. “I should find mom. She asked me to join her earlier.”

"Yeah, right.” Jungkook said, his voice steady despite the way his chest tightened again when he looked at you.

You walked by Jungkook, brushing close enough that your shoulder brushed against his chest, the faintest hint of your vanilla perfume that was so maddeningly you lingered in the air. He tensed, his breath catching before he could stop it. His fingers twitched at his sides, an almost imperceptible motion, but it was enough.

Subtle as he tried to be, he caught himself leaning slightly, his chest rising with a quiet inhale as though he could take the ghost of your scent and keep it for himself.

"Not as subtle as you think." Seokjin snickered by his boyfriend's side who also raised an eyebrow, his expression knowing and somewhat giving away his discomfort. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

Shit.

Jungkook straightened, his jaw clenching as he avoided their eyes, fixing the collar of his shirt hoping they won't catch on the heat creeping up on his neck too. “Don’t.” he said quietly, his tone low and edged with warning.

"Maybe you don't sniff her like a dog in public? Maybe you have some decorum?" Seokjin judged, proud and loud.

"I have plenty, hyung." The younger male side eyed the older one, his eyes narrowed and the tips of his ears already crimson red like he was a boy caught watching porn for the very first time.

Namjoon sighed, though there was a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Let him be, honey.”

But the look he gave Jungkook was far from dismissive. It was the kind of look that saw too much, that peeled back layers Jungkook wasn’t ready to confront. Gods, he needed new friends.

He turned his attention back to the crowd where you disappeared.

The soft hum of conversations and the faint clinking of glasses followed you as you weaved through the grand hall, your eyes scanning for your mother-in-law’s familiar figure. The air in the mansion was heavier than it had been when you arrived, the brush of silk against silk, the way every movement seemed calculated, observed, and weighed.

You navigated through the crowd like a ghost in a gallery, your steps measured and slow, eyes flicking to the floor more than once to avoid the speculative stares. With rich circles came dirty gossip—whispered words disguised as laughter, false smiles that hid daggers. You’d learned to let them roll off your back, like rain on stone.

The Jeon matriarch had mentioned being near the back, closer to where the banquet tables were set. You followed the direction she’d gestured toward earlier, passing servers who moved seamlessly with trays of sparkling champagne.

Halfway through the journey, your steps faltered as your gaze landed on the centerpiece of one table—a chocolate fountain. Warm, rich, and cascading like liquid satin, it stood surrounded by an array of treats. Strawberries gleamed like rubies in the low light, their surfaces polished and inviting.

You hesitated, glanced around as if expecting someone to berate you for indulging in something so ordinary, but eventually, you plucked a strawberry and dipped it into the cascading chocolate.

You let the sweetness settle on your tongue, closing your eyes for a brief moment. For the first time all evening, you found this place somewhat tolerable.

Free food always making things better.

“Excuse me, miss.” a small voice piped up beside you, tugging on the flowy end of your dress.

A boy, no older than six or seven, stood by your side, his wide eyes flicking between you and the fountain. He looked as if he had stepped out of a luxury children’s catalog, his little suit tailored perfectly, his bow tie slightly askew. “Can you grab one for me? I’m not allowed to reach it by myself.” he asked, pointing at the fountain. His voice was polite, but there was a hopeful edge to it, as if he wasn’t used to asking for things twice.

“Of course, love.” you said, your lips curving into a small smile. You picked another strawberry, dipping it with care before crouching slightly to hand it to him. "There you go."

“Thank you!” he chirped, grinning immediate and radiant, the kind that softened the edges of a hard day.

"What's your name?" You asked him, crouching down to his level.

“Do-yun!” came a sharp voice, the kind that turned your stomach before your brain even processed it.

Who you assumed was the boy's mother stepped forward, her elegance severe, her lips painted in a red that matched the strawberries. She took her son’s hand but not before her eyes raked over you, head to toe, with an expression that left no room for interpretation.

"What did I tell you about bothering strangers?” she scolded do-yun who stared at the skewer in his hand apologetically.

“He wasn’t bothering me,” you said gently, straightening up and having the woman’s eyes flicker to you again, assessing.

“He just wanted a treat.”

Her eyes flicked to the chocolate fountain, then back to you, her lips pressing into a tight smile. “how kind of you.”

There was no warmth in her tone, no hint of gratitude. Just a faintly dismissive air. And with that, she turned, her child in tow, leaving you with the faint scent of something floral and the taste of bitterness on your tongue.

You'd learned better than to expect warmth from people bound by history.

You'd learned not to mind it. To overlook it. To not pay attention to them at all.

"That's her, isn't she?"

“Such a shame, losing her husband so young.”

“Yes, but you know, they weren’t exactly power players, were they? He was an artist, wasn’t he?”

The words hung in the air like cigarette smoke, acrid and inescapable.

A laugh, soft and cruel. “I suppose she’s lucky the Jeons still keep her close. Poor thing, all alone now. Must be awful.”

You stopped in your tracks. The sharp sting of their voices cut through the party’s hum, louder than the music, louder than your own heartbeat.

You could feel your palms start to get sweaty, eyes suddenly unable to meet anyone's.

Breathe. You reminded yourself.

One: Find your breath.

Two: Focus on something neutral—the fountain, the floor, the chandelier above.

Three: Remind yourself: They don’t know you. Their words are weightless.

But weightless wasn’t the right word.

“Though, you’d think she’d be a bit more modest. That dress isn’t exactly… widow-appropriate, is it?”

You tried to focus on your numbers but you lost it.

You turned, your fists clenched, your lips thinned, the polite demeanor cracking away from your face under the weight of your frustration.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “Was there something you wanted to say to my face?”

The women froze, their eyes widening in surprise. One of them, a younger woman with a nervous smile, tried to backpedal. “Oh, no, we didn’t mean—”

“Because if you have an issue with me or my dress, feel free to say it outright,” you continued, your voice clear despite the way your heart hammered in your chest. “I’d hate for you to waste any more time whispering behind my back.”

The group exchanged glances, communicating in a language of their own, you couldn’t care less about. Atleast not in this moment.

“We didn’t mean to offend,” one of them muttered, her tone brittle.

“Of course you didn’t,” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “How could I possibly take offense to strangers dissecting my life as if it’s some dinner party entertainment?”

Stupid old hags with no life of their own!

You kept that to yourself.

Then, without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and stormed away.

The chandeliers above blurred as tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not here. Not now.

You weren’t looking for anything specific—just distance, just air that wasn’t thick with judgment and whispers. A bathroom, maybe, though you weren’t going to ask for directions not when your voice felt like it would crack the moment you opened your mouth.

People brushed past you, their scents of expensive perfumes swirling in the air, their muted voices blending into a hum you couldn’t quite focus on. One or two bumped into your shoulder, but you didn’t apologize, didn’t bother looking back.

You just needed to get away—you just needed out of here.

And then, as if the universe wasn’t finished testing you, a firm hand of another one of a frame you jerked into, closed around your wrist, halting your momentum.

You looked up, brows scrunched, eyes glossy and mouth parting, ready to snap but then you were met with a amicable pair of dark eyes.

A crease of his own wrinkling his forehead as he looked down at you. "Is something wrong?" He asked and you almost wanted to laugh mockingly.

Instead, you did what you initially wanted to do. Your eyes flicked to his hand, then back to his face. “Let me go.”

He hesitated for a moment, tounge poking his cheek, grip on your hand loosening but not releasing entirely. "What's wrong, y/n?"

“I said, let me go,” you repeated, your voice firm, frangible at the edges before you pulled your hand away from him and pushed past to walk away without another word.

The next random hallway you stumbled into was quieter, emptier, and for that, you were grateful, stretched ahead like an endless corridor of polished wood and muted gold accents. The noise of the party faded into the background, muffled by the thick walls and heavy doors.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to roam around mindlessly any further. This should be good enough, you told yourself and leaned against one of the walls, your forehead pressing against the cool surface as you tried to breathe through the wave of vehemence emotions that crashed through you.

One: Inhale.

Two: Exhale.

Three: Forget the words they said. Forget them.

But they echoed, persistent and savage, circling in your mind like vultures.

Poor thing, all alone now. Must be awful.

You’d think she’d be a bit more modest. That dress isn’t exactly widow-appropriate, is it?

Your chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths, your hands clutching at your dress as if the fabric could somehow hold you together. But nothing could, nothing had. You had tried and tried and tried.. and fuck you didn't wanted to do it anymore.

Turning around, your head tipped back against the wall, the ceiling swimming in and out of focus as your vision blurred.

You shouldn’t have come here.

You should have stayed home, buried yourself in the comfort of your quiet apartment where no one whispered behind your back or looked at you with pity thinly disguised as deference.

Why did they care? Why did it matter to them how you dressed, how you existed, how you grieved?

It shouldn’t have mattered.

But it did.

You pressed the heels of your palms against your eyes, trying to will the tears away. Crying wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t change anything.

Your hands gripped your clutch tightly, the edges digging into your palms, and for a moment, you considered throwing it—hurling it across the hall just to feel something break.

But you didn’t.

You couldn’t.

Because even here, in this quiet, empty hallway, you felt the silent expectation that you hold yourself together, that you keep smiling, keep nodding, keep existing in a way that made other people comfortable.

You hated this. You hated being you. You hated being the one who was left behind. And God you hated being alone. No Minho to make a quiet joke about the ridiculousness of it all and pull you toward something fun and irreverent.

Just you.

It will be always be just you. You've never admitted that to yourself but now that you did, you feel such panic rise in your chest that you don't hear him at first. Not until his voice broke through the haze.

“Y/N.”

It was soft, tentative, but it still cut through the silence like a blade.

You flinched, your head snapping toward the source of the voice. Jungkook stood a few feet away, his dark eyes searching yours, his expression shadowed with concern.

He had followed you.

“I told you to leave me alone,” you managed, your voice trembling as you turned away, willing him to disappear.

“I’m not leaving,” he said, his footsteps growing louder as he moved closer with a cautiousness that made you feel like a wounded animal. “Talk to me.” He added, the pleading in his voice almost running free.

"I mean it, Jungkook.. go away." You tried putting distance between the both of you again but far too quick for your slowed senses, he was now standing right in front of you, hands hovering in the air as if he didn't know what to do with him while also knowing.

"And I told you, I'm not leaving." His tone had coarsened and your dam had broke.

“Why now?” you cried, stepping closer to him, your fists balling at your sides. “Why do you want to stay now? You’ve spent years acting like a stranger, Jungkook. Years acting like I didn’t exist. And now—”

You shoved at his chest, your fists pounding weakly against him, but he didn’t move.

“Now you want to act like you care?” you yelled, your voice cracking as you hit him again. “Now you want to be here? Why?”

Jungkook stood still, his arms at his sides, his chest solid and unyielding beneath your fists. He didn’t flinch, didn’t step back, didn’t even try to stop you. He just let you hit him, let you pour out everything.His silence infuriated you, and yet it steadied you in a way you couldn’t explain.

"Why do you care now?" you repeated, your voice cracking, trembling like your hands as they hit his chest incessantly. Each word felt like it scraped raw against your throat. "Where were you, Jungkook? When everything fell apart, when I—when I needed someone. Where were you?"

“I don’t need you now!” you snapped, your tears falling freely now. “I don’t need you to come here and act like you care, like you’ve always cared, because we both know that’s not true."

“Because you left!" your voice cracked, the words laced with betrayal. The hurt from the breach of faith weakening you and your punches on his chest until they finally stilled, your hands trembling still as they curled into the fabric of his shirt. Jungkook caught your wrists, his hold firm but gentle, and for a moment, you fought him, your breaths coming in sharp and ragged. But when he didn’t let go, when he didn’t flinch or step back, the fight drained out of you.

Your knees buckled, and his arms came around you slowly, hesitantly, as if he were afraid you might push him away. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. You were too tired now. Empty hands that had been holding onto something for as long as you could remember were too tired, have forgotten the feeling of what it felt like to be held instead.

You allowed to let yourself feel that. You allowed yourself to feel someone else other than the woman you couldn’t even recognize in a mirror as you sagged against him, your head pressing against his shoulder as your tears soaked into his shirt, body shaking and shivering from the quiet sobs that you let out.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, angel." You heard him say those words like a mantra against your hair, arms tightening around you, nestling you close against his chest.

For a moment, you heard pain there, raw and unfiltered, pain that felt similiar to your own in ways you hadn’t expected. You clutched his shirt tighter. You didn't wanted to be alone and Jungkook felt and smelled of times when you weren't. Earthy and Warm. Like that one time when he pulled you in to him after the death of milo- your first dog, and didn’t even mind your snort.

You had clung to those memories but it felt better clinging to him. A small, desperate part of you wanting to drag him closer, to cling to what little you had left of the past. The rest of you wanted to push him away, to keep screaming at him for daring to come back after all this time, after all this distance.

The sobs subsided slowly, leaving behind the kind of stillness that felt fragile, as if it might shatter with the wrong word or movement. Jungkook didn’t push you away, didn’t loosen his hold. If anything, he pulled you closer, as though he feared you’d slip through his fingers if he let go.

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, your gaze searching his face. His eyes shadowed, a stupid perfect strand of his stupid perfect hair falling on his forehead with tension prominent in his jaw and you wondered if there was a time there wasn't.

You wondered if it would make you any more vulnerable that you are right now if you say the words that sit on the top of your tounge, sting in the tears that linger in the corner of your eyes.

“I missed you,” you said softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. They felt dangerous, like exposing a wound that had barely begun to scab over.

His eyes darkened, a low sound rumbling in his chest—something between a growl and a sigh. “Fuck,” he muttered, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I missed you too, angel."

The rawness in his tone made your chest clench, a part of you craving more, while another part shrieked at you to stop this before it went any further, gather whatever semblance has left of you and walk away, play his cards against him.

But you have never been too good with cards or walking away.

“Then why did you leave?” you croaked. “Why did you stay away for so long?”

His gaze dropped to the space between you before meeting your eyes again, his own breathing now getting uneven. You could feel it beneath you. Rising. And Rising. And Rising.

"I didn’t knew how to look at you and not feel like I'm.. betraying him." His voice trembles as he drews in breath and you're so close you feel the heat of it brush against your temple. "And I can not, not look at you. That became a problem."

His eyes darkened, a low sound rumbling in his chest—something between a growl and a sigh. “Fuck,” he muttered, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I missed you too, angel."

The rawness in his tone made your chest clench, a part of you craving more, while another part shrieked at you to stop this before it went any further, gather whatever semblance has left of you and walk away, play his cards against him.

But you have never been too good with cards or walking away.

“Then why did you leave?” you croaked. “Why did you stay away for so long?”

His gaze dropped to the space between you before meeting your eyes again, his own breathing now getting uneven. You could feel it beneath you. Rising. And Rising. And Rising.

"I didn’t knew how to look at you and not feel like I'm.. betraying him." His voice trembles as he drews in breath, and you're so close you feel the heat of it brush against your temple. "And I can not, not look at you. That became a problem."

Your body stiffened at the confession, the world around you shrinking until it was just the two of you, his voice echoing in your ears.

Your first instinct was disbelief.

This can't mean what you think it does.

This can’t mean what you think it does!

The words replayed in your mind, over and over, refusing to settle. Each repetition twisted something deeper, something buried in the hollow space that had once been you.

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, needing space, needing air.

He didn’t move. His gaze followed you, his expression resolute, like he was determined to lay everything bare now that the first truth had slipped out.

But you didn’t even wanted to acknowledge it as something, let alone, a truth. “That’s not—” Your voice cracked, and you forced yourself to start again. "Are you drunk, Jungkook?" You found the thought so repulsing, you could only think of ways to brush this up, put all the blame on the champagne.

From the way his eyes narrowed and brow ridged, you could tell that it was not the champagne.

“Y/N.” he says with a warning. “I’m not fucking drunk.”

“Well, you sound like you are,” you shot back, your tone sharper than you intended. “Because that—what you just said—sounds like something someone says when they’re not thinking clearly. You're not making any sense, Jungkook!"

“It makes sense,” he was starting to get frustated now. “It’s the only thing that’s ever made sense to me.”

And you were starting to get scared. You needed him to stop talking. Anything and everything he said made you physically want to recoil. You took another step back, your arms wrapping around yourself as if you could shield yourself from the weight of unsaid words that are no longer so.

“Don’t,” you said, your voice breaking, hands tempted to cover your ears like a child. His confession felt like a pin pulled from a grenade, and now the blast was unfurling within you. “Don’t do this. It's not fair. It's-It's not fair to him. Or me. Or you."

I know. He admits quietly to himself because he doesn't think anyone knows better than the man who was holding the jagged ends of a once delicate thread. And he hates himself for it because hating you was as unrealistic as the existence of a greater being to him. He had tried. Tried turning to salvation. Tried to despise you for being the one thing that has turned him the best and worst person he can be but he just can't. He prefers hating himself better.

He wants this punishment, that is you. He wants to whisper I'm sorry- I'm sorry for leaving- I'm sorry for coming back in every crook and nook of your body for the rest of his life so you'd feel his expression of regret that could only be a product of love so consuming embedding into you.

Because it's truth. It's his truth, has been for years and years, before he even knew what are the consequences of being a honest person. Now that he is seeing you in front of him—you with a revolting look, a stray tear rolling down your eyes that is nowhere near as angry as it had been before, he understands that it's not a consequence he can take.

He dares to step forward again and even if takes a whole lot of power in him not to pull you into him again, he doesn't and only raises a hand and catches the tear with his thumb.

“You don’t get to do this to me.” you repeat, your voice low and trembling.

And so does his. "I know."

Jungkook didn’t know what he expected you to say, what he hoped for. Forgiveness? Understanding? He wasn’t sure he deserved either.

Yet when you don't pull away, look back at him with the same daring he had stepped forward with, a silence understanding passes between the space that is separating you from him. And he's done being separated from you.

He tilted his head down, his breath stirring your hair when he inhaled deeply, his nose tracing a path down until it rubbed against yours—softly, deliberately—as if giving you time to move away. You didn't and his eyes fell on your inviting mouth again.

Fuck it.

Jungkook surged forward, his hands cupping your face, tipping your face up to him as his lips crashed against yours. The way he kissed you was nothing like the way he had touched you. It was rough, desperate with the way tounge and teeth clashed, filled with years of pent up desire and regret and emotions too tangled to name.

He kissed you like the nights he’d spent staring at the ceiling in places too far from home, wondering if you’d be happier without him there to complicate things, wondering if things had been any different if he said something before. Will you have looked at him like the way you looked at his brother? Would that choice have saved you from years and years of tragedy? Would that have saved him from the weight of his guilt, his love—love that had been a silent, unwelcome presence in his life for so long that it felt like another organ, vital and inescapable?

When he felt you grip him again and kiss him back. Nothing else mattered. The world stopped spinning and he didn't wanted to run anymore.

His hands found your waist, gripping tightly. A low groan slipping from his mouth to yours at the feeling of how you melted against him when he deepened the kiss, tounge proding and exploring all that your sweet mouth had to offer. Gods, he was drunk now.

"Shit." He shuddered as the taste of you finally started to settle in, pulling you closer and closer, then pushing you back until your back met the wall of the hallway.

You should be scared, anxious and pushing him back. The mere thought of someone walking in on you kissing him, your supposed family. Should make you want to end this because you could only imagine the stake they'd pin you on. They'd be not wrong to.

This is traitorous—what you're doing, what you're allowing yourself. But so is a shameful part of you that had always reached for him. Something that whispered to you, so soft it felt like it came from inside your own chest.

It's not so bad. His lips feel good.

But oh, it is. It makes you sick from just thinking how bad it is. Anger, confusion, guilt—oh, the guilt—swirl together and make you so sick.

"W-We shouldn’t.." You gasp against him as your unpracticed lips suck on his in a contradiction.

"No, we shouldn't." He kisses you harder, his mouth only leaving yours to trail a train of kisses along the column of your accessible throat to him, making you whimper out loud that he takes as an sign to nibble and bite.

Your hands find their way to his shoulder and his to your hips. "Legs around me." He licks the length of your neck, narrowing your world down to the feeling of his provoking wet tounge on your skin, his calloused fingers squeezing your hips. It felt all too real now. And despite you being balant enough to start this in the first place, you're not sure if you're still feeling bold. What you are feeling is this sinful, unexplainable craving seeping into your bones, curling around your ribs, making it hard to breath and think. Or maybe it's him.

Whatever it is, you get yourself to pause his eager hands and hungry mouth and speak, your breath coming in short, hot puffs. "Jungkook.. I don't think-" He straightens up and the vulnerability in his voice and eyes is gone as he squeezes your hips tighter.

"Finally gave me that perfect mouth of yours and now you want to walk away? Do you like tormenting me, angel? Do you like knowing that I'd fuck my fist to only the thought of you when you do?" He growls against your ear and you feel yourself flush so hard you're sure he even feels the heat coming off you in ripples.

"Please, baby." He pleads unapologetically, fingers tugging you closer even when all of you is pressed against all of him. "I want you." So bad it hurts.

Gone is the man who had once been so armored, seemed so unreachable and untouchable. And left is Jeon Jungkook, who looks like he will crumble to the ground if you pull away now.

You wouldn't want that. But the words came anyway, right from where shame twisted in your stomach, tangling with the guilt that clawed at your throat. "Do you still want me even if I'm nothing like the woman I used to be?" It came out breakable and in segments, and the second they left your lips, you weren’t sure what to except as a answer.

For a moment, all you could hear was the ragged rhythm of your combined breathing.

You swallowed hard, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. The intensity in his dark eyes was almost unbearable, raw and unrelenting as they searched yours.

"Don't ever say that again." he bit out, every syllable heavy. "I want you always. I want you with my every breath. There's always been only you for me, understand?" He added with a brief grind of his hardened arousal against your front, making you mewl.

The words, though, hit you like a physical forcek, breaking through the walls you’d built around yourself, the ones you’d convinced yourself were impenetrable.

Before you could respond, he moved.

His mouth fell onto yours again and with practiced ease, his hands slid to the backs of your thighs, lifting you like you weighed nothing. "Now. Legs around me, baby." he murmured in the kiss, and though your mind was a whirlwind of what seemed like every single thought you've ever had, your body obeyed.

You could barely figure out to where he was taking you, too engrossed in the kiss that you steered towards a softer, mellow one, fingers tangling in the hair that has grown a little bit on the nape of his neck. Feeling like you both were two audacious college students trying to find a space in a messy party where you both won't be interrupted.

When he halted in his steps, you assumed that he found it as he kicked it open with a firm nudge of his boot, the room beyond dim and quiet but he barely give you time to register anything else, his movements urgent and frantic as he carried you over to the bed in the middle after swiftly locking you both away. You bounced on the silk mattress as he set you down, though his intentions were grave, his actions or the way he held you was gentle, tounge swiping over his glistening lips like chasing the taste of you that made you want to give him once more.

Audacious, you were.

Your eyes on his face, shadows played along the planes, softening the hard edges of his jaw, but his gaze burned. Dark and piercing, it held you in place as if daring you to look away.

You didn’t.

Your eyes followed the sluggish movements of his hands as he reached up, his fingers deftly working the knot of his tie. The fabric slid free, whispering against the buttons of his dress shirt before he cast it aside, forgotten on the nearby chair.

Next came his jacket. He shrugged it off with practiced ease, the broad span of his shoulders rolling beneath the fabric. Your breath hitched as he discarded it, leaving him in the crisp white shirt that clung to his frame, the outline of him barely hidden.

And then his hands moved again, this time to his wrist.

You watched, mesmerized, as he undid the strap of his watch, the silver buckle catching the faint light. He pulled it free and set it down on the nightstand, the movement so fluid it felt almost rehearsed.

It wasn’t until he turned his wrist slightly that you noticed it—the worn thread of a bracelet wrapped around his wrist, faded from time and use but unmistakable.

The one you’d tied around his wrist when you were kids in an action of promise to stay friends for years to come.

But he still wore it.

He still wore it.

Your fingers twitched against the bedspread, the urge to reach out and touch him almost overwhelming.

And as if understanding your anticipation, he soon followed you down, your breath catching as he hovered above you. You waited for him to kiss you again because god help you, you liked a little too much but he only pressed a chaste one, smirking subtly at the pout that subconsciously formed on your lips that soon parted in a gasp when he started to suck on your neck again, this time with the intention to claim the spot with the scrape of his teeth.

He hummed against your skin, the sound deep and satisfied, before he drew your flesh into his mouth again, harder this time. The sharp pull sent a jolt of pleasure-pain coursing through you, thighs clenching together.

"My angel." he said softly, yet nothing was soft about the way he pulled down on the straps of your dress. The fabric slipped, baring the smooth skin of your shoulder, and he pressed his lips there, warm and firm, before trailing lower, his mouth following the path he’d just uncovered. "My undoing."

The red fabric gathered at your arms as he pushed it further, exposing the tops of your collarbones and the swell of your chest. His gaze flicked up to meet yours then, dark and questioning, seeking permission even though his hands were steady, his intention clear.

You nodded, perhaps with too much enthusiasm and earned a chuckle from him that you were sure was the reason for the wetness pooling between your legs.

You had missed that sound. You had missed him.

And he was hell bent on making up for lost time as he dived face first into your chest, humming again when he took in your pebbled nipple in his mouth, swirling his tounge around the roundness of you.

"Oh shit." Your back arched, hands finding their way to his hair again. Pulling and tugging. Urging him on until his hand was fondling the other, abandoned tit. Squeezing under his rough palms that made the heat lowering your stomach worse—all of it felt too much, too soon. And yet, it wasn’t enough.

It had been so long.

Too long since someone had touched you like this, with a reverence that made you feel seen, whole, wanted.

You told yourself it was natural, that anyone in your position would respond this way. That it wasn’t about him—it couldn’t be. But your body betrayed you before your mind could even catch up. Your legs wrapped around his waist once more as you ground yourself against him. Against the print of his bulging length you could feel pulsing against you.

"Fuck yeah.." You cursed low, head falling back on the pillows and Jungkook looked up, his own cock twitching at the sight of you, at the feel of you. Of everything he has ever wanted. Of everything he thought he would never have. But here you were straight from his flithest wet dream that would have him taking more cold showers that he could keep count of.

A goddamn miracle for him, this wasn't a dream.

"This here needs some attention too, hmm?" He rasped, hands slipping down from the curve of your waist, to bunch up your dress to your hips. Wasting no time in finding the wet mess you made of your panties. "Look at this." He grunted, hand cupping your clothed mound. "So wet."

You exhaled out like you'd been freed from shackles that felt too heavy and a whimper followed right after when he disposed you of them, exposing your deprived cunt to the cold air that had you clenching around nothing. "And so fucking responsive." He breathed against your bare sex after moving his head down.

You hadn’t expected that. You breath was bated, cheeks were flushed and heart was pounding at the view alone of his face between your thighs.

Then again, he was all about surprising you today.

Though, it didn't make it any less overwhelming.

The way his hands gripped your thighs, firm yet careful, as if he were both anchoring you and holding himself back. His fingers dug into your skin just enough to leave the faintest imprint, a reminder of where he had been, where he was. Your legs draped over his shoulders, trembling with a mix of anticipation and disbelief, as though your body was still catching up to the reality of this moment.

Never in your wildest dreams, it would have come to this. Come to Jungkook licking a greedy strip up from your folds.

"Jungkook—oh God!" You gasped and he groaned, feeling all of his restraint and the plan to savor this, to savor you, slip away from his tightening hands. One taste of you and he wanted to grasp every drop of like it would be his last.

And so he did.

Burying his face in your wanting pussy like a man with purpose, he lapped. His mouth wrapped around your clit, tounge swiping and licking with a reverence because you were something sacred, something he had put on a pedestal so high, others in his life barely mattered.

"Oh- mhm. Feels so good!" You moan out, mind in a haze of pure fog and he takes it as his cue to plunge his digit inside your dripping core. You're sure you've got no mind now. Grunts of his own leaving him at the thought of your heat wrapping around his aching cock instead.

He felt no shame in that. No shame in what he was doing right now. Because then you moved, your body arching toward him as if to erase every doubt. Your fingers found their way to his hair, tugging as selfishly as he fed on you, flatenning his tounge on your slit to take all he can get, to give you all he can.

A shaky exhale brushing against your folds. The sound was low, guttural, and filled with more longing than he knew how to contain. "Does it, baby? Sweet pussy's feeling good?" His fingers—knuckles deep now—worked you faster, curling and testing ways to get you closer to the edge.

This was more desire that he knew he was possible of as his hips started to rut on their own, seeking friction in a way that was both instinctual and helpless. Brain flat lining. Face drowned in the essence of you. Desperate, as you pulled on his hair. Pathetic, as he chased his own high from just the taste of you, from just how you enveloped his curving fingers. Ecastic, when you finally reached your breaking point from how he alternated between broad strokes and targeted flicks, making you come all over his mouth that kindles his face, that he swallow all because he refuses to let anything go to waste.

"Ah fuck—Oh lord!" You fingers tear in his scalp and hips bucked against his face, eyes rolling back until they whitened.

Oh.

Oh.

It was in this moment, with your thighs braced against his shoulders and his name spilling from her lips, that Jungkook knew.

He would never be the same again.

That he too would be coming in his pants like a high school boy.

It wasn’t enough—nothing would ever be enough—but it was all he had, and it drove him to the edge faster than he would’ve liked to admit. The tension inside him snapped before he could stop it, his body tensing and toes curling because he found everything else secondary to the sheer joy of watching you fall apart beneath him.

"Oh shit, y/n. Shit. Shit. Shit." He whimpers against your cunt, his hips finally slowing down their mindless movement. His forehead pressed against your thigh as he caught his breath. His chest heaved, his heartbeat thundered in his ears, and his entire body felt like it was vibrating, the aftershocks of his release making his muscles twitch.

He swallowed hard, his throat dry, and shifted slightly, pressing a kiss to your clit before leaning back up to feel another wave of release threatening to overcome him when he sees your content expression, hands loosening their grip in his raven hair, half lidded eyes meeting his own before they trail down. "Y-You.." You didn’t know what to say, couldn’t have spoken even if you tried.

A lazy smirk made it's way to his lips that caught the light before he licked whatever remnant what was left of you on his fingers.

"I'm a starved man, angel. Cut me some slack." He panted, pinching your bud in emphasis and moved back up before you could even process it, the warmth of his breath retreating, replaced by the cooler air of the room as he straightened. The absence of his lips against you left you gasping, your chest heaving, your pulse thundering in your ears or maybe it was you still riding your orgasm or maybe it was the knowledge that he came in his pants from just eating you out.

Then he was there again, his hands sliding from your thighs to the mattress on either side of you, bracketing you in like a secret he refused to let escape.

"Hi." He breathed against your forehead.

You felt a shy smile twitch on your lips. "Hi." You reply just as breathlessly.

He presses another kiss, this time to the tip of your nose. "I'm gonna fuck you now, yeah?" You couldn’t reconcile it.

How could he say things that made your cheeks flush, your body respond in ways you couldn’t control, while his lips brushed against your temple with a tenderness that felt like an apology?

How could he make you feel like you were unraveling and being held together all at once?

You wanted to know. "Mhm. Please." You mewl, hands softly going through the beautiful mess that you made of his hair.

"Please, what?" He demanded, lips on your cheek.

"Please fuck me." You whine and he bumped his nose against your face, chest rumbling from a sound so feverish that you can't help but grind against him again. Coaxing his cock back into hardness with your bare cunt against him, from the realization that you shared the insatiable urges with him.

It got his hand trembling when they reached down to unbind his belt, pushing the fabric down his hips to reveal predicament he's made of his boxers that were bounding his hard, leaking cock but hell if he had it in himself to care.

He had been bidding his time for far too long. Waited enough—longer than any man should have to wait for something that felt this inevitable, this right, this his.

Ridding himself of the last piece of clothing on him, other than the white dress shirt that flexed against his coiled muscles, he took himself In a fist, groaning when he pumped himself in one slow stroke. Eyes never leaving your wide ones like you weren’t sure if you should be impressed, intimidated, or both.

Your breath hitched audibly, and your chest rose and fell as your eyes darted from his face to the undeniable evidence of his arousal. Heat bloomed across your cheeks, but you couldn’t seem to tear your gaze away, couldn’t stop the thought that immediately took hold.

"You're too big." Your throat dry, and your fingers fisted the sheet beneath you, trying not too think too much about how thick he would feel down your throat. The sounds he'd make when you would lick him just right.

"And you're gonna take every inch." He said it like a statement, a prominent vein popping in his neck when he finally let go of the locked gaze and focused instead on compressing the tip of his angry, veiny cock to your slick folds.

"Won't you, angel?" He asks with a confident smirk passed your way for a second before his breath wavered again, brows scrunched together and if it wasn't for his tip nudging inside you, you'd thought him endearing.

But once his tip is actually is in, you're left with no thought. Rendered speechless, eyes falling shut when he starts to jab inch by inch.

"Dear lord—" You gasp out loud. The sheet beneath you not providing much semblance so you switch to his shoulders. And you swear, he feel him shake when he is finally all in. Closes his eyes and relishes in your heat stretching around. "Fucking hell." The sensation was overwhelming—heat and softness so consuming it felt like his mind short-circuited, every thought dissolving into static.

But you feel that its your pussy that feels like it's going to split apart any moment now that's stopping him from moving. And partly it is. "You're so..tight." He hisses out and squeezes your hips with great roughness.

"Been long since you've been fucked, eh?" He muses, dark hungry eyes devouring yours when he makes an attempt to move inside you like he was testing your limits. Your mind reels, caught between the sharpness of the initial sensation and the overwhelming desire that followed.

He felt impossibly big, like your body wasn’t prepared for the sheer intensity of him, and for a fleeting moment, doubt crept into your thoughts.

It’s been so long.

The thought came unbidden. Your body had grown used to quiet nights and cold sheets, to the impersonal hum of a vibrator and the absence of warmth.

"Been so long." You confirm, nails clawing at his shoulders, mimicking the roughness that only spurs him on. His lashes fluttered shut, his forehead drops to your shoulder and with a whine of disagreement from you, he pulls back fully just to (to your satisfaction) bury himself back to the hilt.

An unadulterated moan from you broke the silence, a sound so sweet it made him want to come right there and then again. But he'd much rather have you convulse first. Priorities.

His jaw clenched, a low groan rumbling in his chest as he started to move his hips against yours, slow and deliberate, like he needed to feel every inch of your.

Your legs tensed around his hips, pulling him closer. You couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop the way your body reacted to him, your mind a dizzy blur of heat and need and overwhelming sensation.

He pulled back again, the drag of him leaving you feeling empty, only to return with the same slow, measured thrust.

“That’s right,” he muttered, his voice rough and uneven, barely coherent through the sounds your free spilling moans and the fact that his face was buried in the crook of your shoulder. “You’re—fuck, you’re perfect.” His voice unrefined at the edges, raw with honesty and disbelief, like he couldn’t believe you were really here, with him, like this.

Your hands slid down his back, clinging to the flexing muscles beneath your palms. You suddenly didn't like that his shirt was still on. Wanting to map out his bare skin with every graze of your nails. But with each thrust, pleasure sparked at the base of your spine and spread outward, your thoughts scattered like autumn leaves.

"Yeah- Oh mphm! Just like that!" He flourished in your cries of encouragement, his grip on your hips tightening, his fingers digging into your skin as he was afraid he'd lose control too soon.

And you wanted nothing more. "F-Faster! Please go faster!" His pace was unhurried but devastating, every pull and thrust deliberate, designed to drag you to the edge and keep you there, teetering. You couldn’t take that anymore.

And Jungkook couldn’t take keeping you unsatisfied. His lips found the corner of your mouth, brushing against it in a fleeting kiss before moving lower, his teeth grazing your jaw. His hands moved to your thighs, urging them higher, wrapping them around his waist as he drove into you with more force, more intent.

“taking me so well, was made for this cock.” Were made for me. he praised, his voice sounding like a backdrop to the obscene sounds his hips snapping against yours as your own body moved with his, meeting him with the same intensity, the same desperate need. "Yeah." He grunted, punctuating his words with a squeeze to your boob. "Fuck me back. Use me. Feel me."

All you could possibly do was feel him.

He felt like fire and electricity all at once, a heat that spread from your core to the very tips of your fingers and toes.

“Jungkook…” you whispered again, your voice catching on the syllables when his head tipped forward, his forehead pressing against yours, his damp hair brushing your skin.

He whimpered in response, a deep, guttural sound that reverberated through you, and he pistoned his cock harder, pulling a cry from your lips that you couldn’t hold back.

"I-I missed you." You can feel tears gather in your eyes again. You don't even know why. Why you're repeating what you've already admitted. Why the words feel more vulnerable now. All you know that you missed him and the coil is tightening in your stomach.

Jungkook, too feels like he will break down any moment when he stares down at you. But he’s got a impending orgasm to deliver.

He kisses your eyelids, is tempted to lick the tears that slowly make their way down to your chin but doesn't. He's not sure he'll be able to handle the taste of your despair without feeling like he has to chastise himself for ever being the reason for it.

"I know. I know." His cock thrusts with renewed vigor. "I missed you too. I missed you." He says through his gritted teeth, feeling how your walls fluttered around him.

"Gonna cum now?" He knows what your answer will be. There's a smug underline tone in his rasps that gives him away. How he takes pride in knowing that he's the one to make you release all this tension; once on his mouth; then on his cock that is pulsing with an reoccurring ache.

You can only manage to nod, lips tightly tucked between your teeth, hands scratching and marking on his once crisp shirt that is now crumpled from the fate of your hands.

"Gonna soak my cock, huh? Go ahead, baby. Go ahead and come with me." He demands, his hand slipping between you to rub tight circles against your puffy clit that is just enough to tip you over at last.

"Koo.. ah..oh god!" The name you've always called him with a fondness falls unintentionally from your lips when your walls tighten for the last time and you release all over his cock that is now stuttering with it's every thrust.

"Oh fuck. Call me that again." He all but snarls. Cock turns firmer inside your heat that hugs him. And balls screw up.

"Koo.." You whine and that's all he needs before thick ropes of white hot cum is spilling inside you, filling you to the brim. "Mhm, take it all. There's my girl. Pussy looks so good stuffed with my cum." He grinds the best his spent body can into yours that still welcomes him and fuck if that doesn't make him never want to leave.

And he doesn't, for a moment, when he collapses onto you. Just not enough to crush you under his weight. Just enough to latch his lips where ever he can find and whisper words of affection. "Could'nt fucking breathe without you." He's yet to get enough of you. This life won't suffice, he thinks. Then finally pulls out his softening cock from your slick hole with a hiss.

You too feel the loss the of the connection that had pulsed faintly between you, leaving you achingly empty.

He moved with the same carefulness, reaching for the tissues on the bedside table. The room was quiet save for your mingled breaths as he knelt beside you, his touch impossibly tender as he wiped at the inside of your thighs. You shivered under the cool press of the tissue against your skin, the sensation making you acutely aware of the aftermath—the way your body still quivered, the way your breaths still came uneven.

You stared at the ceiling while he did so, the edges of your perception blurred as you tried to silence the tingles that still hummed across the length of your legs. A reminder of how throughly he had disentangle you, how throughly his very essence had penetrated into you.

You were ruined by him.

There was no going back from this. You knew that.

What scared you was the realization that you didn’t want to.

You just didn't know how to admit that out loud where everyone and he could hear you.

Your eyes seeked out for him as if that alone could answer all your questions. He returned back against you without a question. Hands finely adjusted the strap of your dress and drew you closer to him with a soft voice, hoarse from the strain of everything he’d given you. "Come here, angel." Bundled you up in his arms and then only did he breathe out.

Your breath stayed differing. “Why do you call me that?” Your voice was curious but tentative. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked you.”

You felt his lips curve up against your temple. "You were wearing this really pretty white dress the first time I met you." he began, his voice quiet, almost wistful. “Had these frills on the sleeves. I thought you looked like an angel."

You tried to piece together the memory. “That was so long ago."

It might be understood that it takes months to fall in love but Jungkook had been falling all his life.

[kooklovee]

Jungkook- ff recs masterlist 🔞

So here's my fav Jungkook ffs of all time plus a MUST READ compilation 💌.

All the recommended ffs are 18+ so MDNI!!

S: smut | A: angst | F: fluff | ❤️: extreme favs

(fics are not ordered in any specific order of preference and neither do they entertain infidelity or any major triggering themes 🙃)

Starting off with the 2 most "SEVEN" mv inspired one shots I've read till now -

■ Night after night by @brown-bi-beautiful ❤️ ( S, A, F )

■ Devoted to trouble by @jeonsweetpea (S, slight A, F)

Seven days a week by @jjkeverlast (S, slight A, F)

Thirteen rounds by @moni-logues (S)

Slow motion by @rerefundslocals(S, A, F)

@personasintro 's masterlist ❤️

Legit ALL her ffs are TOP NOTCH. So here's link to her entire masterlist. Fav author for a reason 💜

Ps - Mutual help & Away from you are Ultimate lovee!

Stay with me by @jungk0oksthighs ❤️(S, A, F)

Reminder by @dollfaceksj ❤️ (S, A, F)

Over wine (Ongoing) by @koocycle (S, A)

There's no way by @redjoonie (S, slight A, F)

Seven ways to sunday (Ongoing) by @jeonjcngkook (S)

Bad Omega, Sweet Omega JJK by @helenazbmrskai (S, A)

Drabble collection by @onlyswan (F)

Office break by @vminizzle (S)

Two point five by @bratkook (S, F)

My you by @wnderkoo (S, slight A, F)

This is how we break by @ahundredtimesover (S, A)

Unplanned night by @vminizzle ❤️ (S)

Rolling stone by @kooktrash (S, A)

4-7-8 by @jiminrings (S, heavy A, F)

Sleepless nights by @wnderkoo (S, F)

Backstage quickies by @btsqualityy ❤️ (S)

So good by @ggukiepie ❤️ (S)

Lost on you by @letjungcoook7 (S)

Cramped quarters by @btsqualityy (S)

Kink series by @btsqualityy ❤️ (S)

Bts reactions by @cheolhub (S)

Early riser by @moni-logues (S)

Bf!Jk drabble by @letjungcoook7 (S)

Standing next to you by @back2bluesidex (S)

On my mind by @angelguk ❤️ (S)

Ceo!Jk one shot by @letjungcoook7 (S, slight A)

All over again by @jungkookstatts ❤️ (S, F)

Return the favor by @back2bluesidex (S, F)

Jk!drabble by @borathae (S)

The bet by @letjungcoook7 (S)

Bf!Jk (kinda break up au) by @letjungcoook7 (S, A)

Bf!Jungkook by @jungkookstatts ❤️ (S, F)

Cherry flavored by @jungkookstatts ❤️ (S, F)

Black dye by @mercurygguk (S, F)

When the end comes by @oddinary4bts ❤️ (S, F, huge A) happy ending tho

Down on you by @ki-yomii ❤️ (S)

I want you to stay by @ahundredtimesover (Ongoing)

Birthday boy by @jeonfics (S)

Wishing for you by @kookiestarlight (S, A, F)

Guilty Pleasures (Ongoing) by @kookslastbutton (S, A)

The violence of the dog days by @youarewhatyoulove-blog ❤️ (S, F)

Stay quite by @hobidreams (S,F)

Chasing cars (Ongoing) by @oddinary4bts (S,A,F)

Wants and needs by @2hightocare ❤️ (S,F)

[smoothlikealikeasnake]

Strawberry Princess Christmas Special

Genre - OT7!BTS x Reader, Hybrid!BTS x Hybrid!Reader

Pairing - Hybrid!Au , Hybrid BTS x Hybrid Reader, fluff, angst, eventual smut, slow burn? , alternative reality , strangers to lovers , strangers to friends, friends to lovers

Warnings - Absolute fluffiest fluff. Tooth-rottingly sweet fluff.

Summary - The Strawberry Princess Universe meets Christmas and is filled with fluff and joy, all around ❤️

Christmas is a big deal in the Bangtan House. It’s a special time of year for many but it is anticipated for months by the pack.

December 1st, Y/n let herself into the packs home and was greeted with calculated chaos. People were running by her in a flash, trailed by decorations of all kinds and amidst the loud Christmas music was shouted commands and questions. Y/n kept her hand on the door fully debating wether she should slowly leave and come back but the scent of fresh gingerbread and hot cocoa tied in with the warm happiness in all of the packs scents just drew her in so she walked in.

Spinning around as she took in the half decorated festive wonderland around her, each of the boys zipped past her at some point and greeted her with a quick kiss on her face or head, besides Jimin, always the charmer who stopped mid run to pick up her hand and give her a prince-like welcoming.

Not everyone was running around though, Namjoon and Yoongi were sat on the couch and Y/n was swiftly pulled into Namjoons lap whilst Yoongi gave her a quick thigh squeeze and rubbed her back in greeting before getting back to his task which was untangling the lights. It seemed everyone was working, besides Namjoon so after he adjusted Y/n to sit comfortably and slipped one hand in her hair and the other on her waist, rubbing soft circles there, Y/n gave him a confused look.

“You aren’t busy right now?” - It was more of a question because Y/n had now occupied his lap and his hands so there isn’t much he could really do but he just gave Y/n a sheepish but equally dazzling smile, a light blush covering his cheeks while he replied.

“Well- I just lift anything heavy, I tend to break anything more delicate” - Y/n just looked at Namjoon with parted lips in slight shock as Namjoon avoided her eyes before reciprocating Y/n’s expression when she grabbed his huge bicep, hand only covering one half of it, giving it a squeeze with a coo, only staring for a moment too long at how firm it was before beaming at him.

“Awww, our strong Joonie, it’s okay im sure you don’t break everything delicate really” - Namjoon found his blush deepening as he held onto ‘our Joonie’ and nervously laughed before Yoongi spoke for the first time in a while and had them both speechless.

“Yeah, your right, our Joonie won’t break our delicate little Y/n” - Yoongi said it so nonchalantly that both Namjoon and Y/n were struck with heavy blushes and stuttering words that made the panther very proud, sittih smugly as he continued his untangling task.

“Anyway- Jin will be calling everyone for a break in a few minutes, he’s baked cookies” - Namjoon cleared his throat and completely skipped over Yoongis words, glad because right on queue Jin ushered everyone to stop their tasks for a break and the youngest clumsily piled in with a crash and stood around the kitchen island digging in while everyone else moved at a calmer pace.

Namjoon stood up and quite literally carried Y/n over even as she yelped when he walked with her in his arm like nothing. As soon as she was sat down, Hobi handed her a warm gingerbread cookie shaped as a Christmas tree and Y/n took it with a thank you and a hum of appreciation.

“What can I do to help” - Y/n asked after swallowing her mouthful of cookie, eager to do something

“Nothing, beautiful, you just sit with Namjoon hm?” - Jin leant over and ruffled her hair but instead of her just agreeing she slightly pouted with a furrow of her eyebrows

“No i want to help, he’s already done his job” - Y/n was firm, not willing to just sit around whilst everyone else was actually running, sprinting around in absolute chaos

“You can help us decorate the tree in a little while, right?” - Taehyung came up with the suggestion, wanting her input on where to put each ornament and maybe help her put them up. Y/n looked around for confirmation knowing tree decorating can be a personal tradition but she was instantly waved off by Hoseok

“Of course you can” - Hobi slipped his hand into her scalp to gently rub at it and push away any of her doubts that seemed to grow, lulling her into a relaxed slump

“But what about now?” - She looked up still determined to do something, to be helpful

“Well I suppose you could arrange the pillows and blankets on the couches?” - Somehow Jin knew that would make her happy and he was proud as Y/n’s eyes lit up, tail flicking behind her and a soft purr began to come from her chest, practically shouting out her response.

“Yes!”

Everyone briefed Y/n on what they were doing decoration-wise and found out they all had the same tasks every year, it was routine for them and Y/n found herself just sitting with stars in her eyes at their passion and love for eachother that showed in the care they put into this time of year and all of its tradition.

“What are your plans for Christmas, princess?” - Y/n’s thoughts were cut off by Jungkook turning to her questioningly and Y/n blanked for a moment before answering

“My mom is going away this Christmas so I’ll see her a few days before and we will celebrate then” - While Y/n didn’t seem to mind, everyone else had a light frown on their faces, not wanting her to be alone especially in the holidays it just wasn’t right and if she was going to be alone, they just wouldn’t have that.

“But what about Christmas Day?” - Jimin leant in and asked, watching her every move for even the slightest bit of sadness in her eyes, ready to pick her up and cuddle it all away

“I’ll cozy up with my favourite Christmas movies and-“ - Y/n thought they were just intrigued and while she would of loved to spend Christmas Day with her mom, it just wasn’t possible this year so Christmas will have to come early and that was okay for Y/n, aslong as she didn’t think about it too much. She was cut off, rather abruptly by Yoongi with his firm, low toned voice

“You won’t spend it alone, come here for Christmas” - Maybe if someone else had said it, it might seem like pity but somehow, coming from Yoongi, Y/n knew it wasn’t but despite that she just opened and closed her mouth like a fish, not quite knowing how to respond

“Yeah! Come here! Our parents come over and you could meet them and we will have a nice dinner and watch a movie and-“ - Jungkook was practically jumping on the spot at the idea, eyes wide and pretty much about to leap in and swing Y/n around in excitement, even before she responded.

“Slow down Kook, only if you want too doll but we would love to have you here” - Namjoon gently scolded Jungkook and put a hand on his thigh to calm him down, rubbing softly and it worked mostly as Kook instantly relaxed and leant in to his touch while Namjoon’s kind and gentle gaze stayed on Y/n with his breathtaking smile

“Well I couldn’t intrude on your family time-“ - Y/n began to shift uneasily, the idea was so good it sounded so nice but she couldn’t shift the feeling that she’d be a burden or intruding, that’s why she was interrupted quickly by Hoseok

“Don’t be silly, pretty, we would love to have you here and so would our parents” - Hoseok was now the one scolding, rubbing his hand down her spine to make sure she took in all his words and attention and saw her ears flittering around from her internal battle

“But it’s Christmas” - Y/n spoke quietly, almost a whisper and sounded oh so unsure that 7 pairs of arms were nearly around her in an instant to wrap her in comfort and reassurance

“Exactly! It’s Christmas so it’s the best time of year to have you over” - Jin sounded both enthusiastic and firm, leaning on his elbows on the kitchen island to make eye contact with Y/n and he watched her bite her lip for a moment in contemplation before nodding and he swore he could feel the room get warmer and happier from his mates reactions to her acceptance

“If your sure, I’d love that”

———————————————————————————

The next few hours were filled with the same chaos Y/n had walked into with brief conversations here and there about what the boys’ parents were like. Y/n was oh so anxious to meet them but was mentally planning exactly how she would meet each and everyone one of them to make the best first impression. Spoiler alert, it didn’t go exactly to plan but all turned out well!

Y/n put her heart and soul into arranging all the blankets and pillows to perfection, kneading each one to make it fluffy and bouncy and smoothing out any creases, pulling Namjoon around to give his opinions on each placement and pushing him down to test the softness and bounciness of each pillow and blanket even though she had to fluff them back up each and everytime, just repeating until he wrapped her up in his arms and praised her on how lovely it all was and how perfect of a job she had done, that made her melt and finally finish up, refusing to even touch her work before the rest of the boys had approved it and urging both Namjoon and herself to sit on the fluffy rug on the floor instead to which he obliged, putting her in his lap for the remainder of their sitting around time.

Watching the decorations go up was like watching real magic happen, every inch of the home was decorated and Y/n watched with her heart filling with happiness as every second went by. She was melted into Namjoon’s larger body, purring away and refusing to close her eyes despite how sleepy she seemed, even as Joon gently played with her hair and she didn’t move for even a second as he accidentally snagged a few knots and then apologised and kissed her head. It was all just so magical.

And when she thought it couldn’t get any better, how could it possibly? Decorating the tree. Boxes and boxes of decorations were pulled out, the tree was so tall it was nearly double Y/n’s height and while Yoongi handled spinning lights around it, the ornaments and additional decorations was everyone’s job. They worked from the bottom up, picking out every bauble and bow and pieces of tinsel they wanted to put up and where, the boys looking at Y/n for her approval everytime even though it was their tree, making it hers too.

The bottom half of the tree was easiest to do, 8 pairs of hands putting in their favourite decorations and wherever seemed right until it was full and glimmering and so so magical, then came the second half. It was easy enough for the boys, the shorter mates having to just go on their tippy toes for a moment to reach near the top and Y/n assumed her part was done, helping where she could and trying to be ever so careful with each piece, face concentrated as she stood at the highest point of her tippy toes to reach wherever was possible, unaware of the sets of hands that would hover her waist just incase she looked wobbly.

Just when she put one more bauble up and felt herself nearly fall forward, catching herself quickly and ignoring the skim of hands settling on her to steady her as she briefly panicked, she decided that was as much as she could help. The boys had different ideas because just as she stepped back, she yelped and gasped in surprise at Jungkook grabbing her by the thighs, leaning down and hoisting her up onto his shoulders while her thighs quickly tightened around his neck and her calves criss-crossed in instinct to not fall. Kook never would of let her fall of course, he held a tight grip on her while she got stable and only giggled when she leant forward, resting her chest over his head and gripping his hair for a moment as she still sat in pure shock.

“Jungkook! What are you doing!” - The rest of the boys laughed at her attempt to make him get down as she lightly pulled at his fluffy hair and looked around with wide eyes only to find the rest of the boys just smiling at her and continuing with their decorating.

“Now you can get the higher bits, I’ve got you just relax a little” - Y/n pouted stubbornly even if he couldn’t see it but followed through, slightly relaxing her plush thighs as they still were wrapped around his neck but were held in place by his hands and leant up straighter so she didn’t set him off balance. When she relaxed a bit more, Jungkook let one hand go and reached for a decoration, handing it up to her and telling her to guide him wherever so she could put it. And she did just that.

Each of the boys handed her decorations, some with suggestions of where to put it and some leaving her to make that decision all while she gently tugged at Jungkook’s hair to order him left and right. By the time the tree was nearly finished, besides one last detail, it was full and so so beautiful, so full of memories and love and Jungkook’s hair was messy but his smile was full, eyes nearly closed with how wide it was. When they were finished, he gently knelt down so she could hop off his shoulders, with two different people’s hands on her own helping her make the small leap and when she stepped back, she stood in awe at the beautiful tree before them.

A hand gently rested on her shoulder to take her out of her trance and a voice whispered into her ear.

“Help us do the star, doll?” - Y/n turned around to find Namjoon leaning his hand out to her with a beautiful, glimmering star in his hand ready to go on the very top of the tree and right as she was about to protest because the star is arguably the most important part of the tree and placing it is so often the most special part of decorating the tree, she looked around and found 6 encouraging, happy smiles urging her to do just that. She looked up and wondered just how she was going to reach because she was just about reaching the top decorations on Jungkook’s shoulders but this was even higher and right as she bit her lip and nodded, Namjoon solved that issue.

Being the tallest and easily the strongest in the pack, it was easy for him to wrap one arm around Y/n’s thighs, his other hand just under her breasts and to lift her up until she was high enough, her feet level with his firm stomach all while keeping her steady and straight up, tall enough to reach the very tip of the tree where Y/n carefully placed the star before she was gently lifted down again and set on the ground.

Right on cue, as everyone stepped back to look at the tree, Yoongi flicked on the lights and it was like you could hear the twinkling off all of the decoration and lights, the most enchanting sight Y/n had ever seen as she lightly gasped in admiration and stared with a smile as another set of arms wrapped around her waist and Jimins scent invaded her nose, holding her in close and warm.

“See? Christmas is So much better together”

———————————————————————————

Christmas rolled around with hot cocoa and warm movies, wrapped up in blankets and as Y/n got back from her mom’s on the 23rd, she was only at home for a few hours before she was whisked away to the packs home where she was told their parents would be coming Christmas Eve afternoon, logically giving her plenty of time to prepare.

She went to sleep that night inbetween Taehyung and Jimin who wore matching Christmas pajamas with her, one of the three sets Jin had gone out and chosen for all of the pack to wear for the next three days, one for the 23rd, one for the 24th and one for Christmas morning and evening.

Y/n stumbled out from between Jimin and Taehyung before they woke up because she fell asleep hours before they had, wobbling down the hallway with her eyes still half closed and mind definitely not processing the 7 new scents in the home, she just followed after the closest familiar one and wrapped herself in Hoseoks embrace while he chuckled and ran a hand through her messy hair. She didn’t even hear the coos and comments about their cute interaction.

“Your up early honey, where and Tae and Minnie?” - Hoseok asked while he held her close reciprocating her affectionate pawing.

“They’re ’sleep, went to bed late” - Hoseok hummed in response and plucked the hairband he always keeps on his wrist now to gently gather her messy curls and tie them into a simple ponytail before looking up to the 7 guests with a smile and then looking down again.

“You want to say hi?” - He gently coaxed Y/n out of her sleepy hold and she looked up at him confused before the new scents processed in her brain and her eyes widened faster than he had ever seen before, watching her spin on her heel and take in the 7 pack mates mother’s sitting around the kitchen island taking in their cute interaction and Y/n’s words felt choked up and like they were spewing out all at the same time, stuttering for a few moments before straightening out her pajamas and standing up straight, easily identifiying who each of the women’s son’s were.

“I-im so sorry- it’s so nice to meet you all- um-“ - She only struggled for a few moments before she was wrapped up in a tight hug by one of the women, followed by another and then another, one by one.

“Don’t be sorry darling that’s alright we came early” - Taehyung’s eomma spoke soothingly

“We have heard so much about you!” - Jimin’s eomma, bubbly and sweet smiled at her with that same eye-closing smile Jimin

“Wah- Hoseok none of your words put fully into perspective just how beautiful she is!” - Hoseok’s eomma jokingly scolded her son and lightly hit him on his arm as he tried to protest her words

“Alright stop crowding her ladies, give her a moment she’s just woke up the poor thing” - Namjoon’s eomma , just like her son, was the reason of the group and urged the women to stand back and as they did, Y/n let out a shaky, uncertain breath.

“It’s wonderful to finally meet you Y/n, im Jisoo, Jin’s mother but you just call me Eomma okay?” - Y/n stuttered over her words as she reciprocated her introduction and smiled at the calm woman.

“I’m Jungkook’s mother but you just call me eomma too” - A soft spoken, shyer seeming woman spoke next and Y/n was caught over her words still in shock still

“Infact just call all of us eomma, darling, the boys do” - Yoongi’s mother spoke next, seeing the recognition in Y/n’s eyes and knowing introductions weren’t exactly in need when she knew exactly who was who and that it would all end with the same phrase ‘just call me eomma’ and Y/n couldn’t stop the thankful smile she sent her way, feeling herself let out another breath as despite the vast differences in energy levels between the women, they were all very similar to the boys she knew and were so very kind and welcoming.

I mean, she’d been greeted in a warm hug by three of them even before she got out a full sentence, the others were more sparing with their touches but equally as warm as Namjoon’s eomma guided her over to the table to sit with them by a hand gently on her back and Jin’s mom kindly squeezing her hand for a moment in greeting once she was sat.

They quickly made her feel comfortable and welcomed, Y/n tail falling into a soft sway and her ears relaxing which made Hoseok, who was watching from the side, smile into his cup of coffee. Yoongi’s mom had poured her a herbal tea with a quiet statement insisting she kept warm and healthy in the cold winter, Jimin’s mom had piled on fresh porridge she had brought over with a similar statement, Jin’s mom quickly filling a small selection of side dishes for her meal for her, Taehyungs mother, sat at her side kept pulling her into tight side hugs throughout their chat, Namjoon’s mother having the same keen interest in her every word, Jungkook’s mother grabbing her hands to make sure they were warm enough and Hoseok bragging about how lucky their boys were to have such a sweet, beautiful girl at their side.

Y/n quickly fell into a comfortable conversation discussing everything and nothing with them, laughing and joking as they all recalled silly stories of the boys and the mothers asking Y/n questions about herself. They had approved of her the moment she walked into the room and Hoseok seemed to light up, happily holding her close and since then they had only become more fond.

“Our husbands won’t be here until the afternoon, they are out around Seoul having their annual big catchup, you know, men” - Hoseok’s eomma jokingly rolled her eyes at her own statement and it had Y/n in a fit of giggles as the rest of the women just kept adding to the statement.

They sat around chatting and eating for nearly an hour before two more sleepy boys stumbled into the room, originally smelling that Y/n was awake and heading towards her giving her sleepy pecks to her head before waking up completely and bounding over to their mothers to give them tight hugs, both of them jokingly scolded the two for not even noticing their presence but everyone could tell they had no malicious intent behind the words and found their instincts to seek out the young woman just so adorable. Sweet Young love, they all thought.

Jin and Namjoon were the two who came in, Jin immediately doing his rounds to greet each of the mothers and refill everyone’s tea while Namjoon, who tripped on his way in, had been lightly scolded by his mother for still being so clumsy before he also went around giving his greetings and sat down knowing he’d definitely get into more clumsy trouble if he did much else.

Seeing Y/n so comfortable with their mothers had each of the boys’ hearts filled with Christmas joy and happiness, smiling widely despite only just waking up, practically bouncing on their feet with every step and that was the same for each of the rest of the pack joining them. One by one they joined in the kitchen, Yoongi next and then the maknaes in age order starting with Jimin. While all the ladies sat around the kitchen island, the boys found purchase against the counters waiting until everyone was present until they moved to the living room.

“Who did the blankets this year? The choices are just perfect” - Taehyung’s mother gushed, always a fan of texture and stylish choices going hand in hand, happily taking in the arrangements.

“Y/n did them, Eomma” - Jimin practically purred out, giving Y/n a back hug that made her shy and try to worm her way out not wanting to be too affectionate infront of the group of mothers but they all cooed and gave their compliments, having her cheeks to bright red and she practically hid trying to sit on the corner of a sofa before her arm was gently pulled to the side by Jungkook’s mother who insisted the middle was comfier and to make the boys sit on the edges.

The first thing they did was put on a Christmas movie for everyone to watch before the boys and Y/n headed off to get ready for the day, wrapping up warm despite only really having plans to stay in.

Y/n had finished up and it was nearing mid-day, walking into the kitchen all of the mothers were doing their own tasks to prepare lunch, not noticing her presence at first until she spotted Jimin’s mother closest and went to ask if there was anything she could do to help but she caught herself from calling out her name, remembering their earlier words and instead quietly mumbling.

“Eomma?” - All 7 pairs of eyes shot to her, dropping what they were doing to tend whatever she needed and Y/n hadn’t expected it, speaking so quietly and stood there blankly for a moment, just blinking as a flurry of questions on what she needed and if she was okay came from the 7 mothers but Y/n just responded after a few moments

“I just wanted to know if you needed any help” - And instantly again, all 7 mothers were responding and waving her off, telling her to just sit that they would be finished in a few moments. The amount of love and kindness swirling through the home was overwhelming but in the special way that is not too overwhelming since it was Christmas.

———————————————————————————

Meeting the boys fathers was somewhat easier for Y/n since she had expected it this time, they were just a kind, a bit more reserved but just as kind and welcoming, joining mid-afternoon before they all had a warm, hearty dinner and settled down for stories and movies in the living room again, Y/n definitely not on the edge of the sofas this time, that being reserved for the fathers because in the mothers eyes for this it went

Y/n

Themselves

The boys

Their fathers

They had their comments about that, going back to the ones they started in the morning in the kitchen and Y/n found herself suppressing her giggles all over again, all cozy and warm with a mug of hot cocoa that Jin’s eomma had prepared for her, holding back sleep when it reached the evening time until all the parents announced they would be going to sleep and going off to each of the boy’s rooms to sleep. The pack had asked if Y/n be okay sleeping in the packs nesting room with all of them before she came and of course she was, already sleepy she practically dozed off when Taehyung easily eased her up and into his arms, taking her to the warm fuzzy room where they all got ready for bed.

Y/n changed quickly before she was pushed and pulled into the centre of the nest, surrounded by all of the pack, warm and soft with a full belly and fresh Christmas pajamas, nodding off ready for an amazing Christmas Day. It was heavenly, being between all of them at once, euphoric and Y/n felt like she was on a different planet, purring so loudly it vibrated all of their bodies and instinctively caused them all to reciprocate their own versions of the sounds, their own kind of white noise.

———————————————————————————

On Christmas Day they were greeted with snow, a true, movie-like Christmas with a fresh, comforting breakfast, a mountain of presents to be exchanged and love bounding through the air in every which direction. The day was magical. Truly.

“Aren’t they just perfect for eachother” - Jimin’s eomma commented as all of the parents stood back watching the pack giggle and hug and just interact with eachother, in their own little world.

“They truly are” - Jungkook’s father commented back

“The perfect Young Destined Love”

———————————————————————————

Thank you so much for reading I really hope you enjoyed! This is the Christmas special and im sorry if it seems a bit short towards the end I hope it doesn’t seem like it’s missing anything but it’s just pure fluff and a big milestone in the Strawberry Princess universe too!

Please let me know what you think! I love to hear you guys’ comments and what parts you enjoyed ❤️

As always my asks are open for drabbles, character asks, ect xx

Have a Very Merry Christmas! 🎄

Mwah ❤️

ཐི♡ཋྀ

———————————————————————————

Taglist (still open loves just drop me a comment if you’d like to be added x)

@m00njinnie @singukieee @maisyyyyyy @noortsshift @bunnybears-stuff @authorpj @simeonswif3 @msrmimi @nobody3210 @djodjom1 1 @jkriri @btsizlyfe @dachshunddame @cherriescream @sassy-snassy @kiki-zb @sebastianwhore13 @juju-227592 @jungshaking

[yoonbroom]

BTS FIC RECS

a list of BTS fics I really enjoyed! pls go and show these amazing authors some love <3 if there wasn't a summary I just included a little blurb from the fics! and anything with * are my own thoughts. now onto the recs ↓

KIM SEOKJIN

TURN BACK TIME - @raplinesmoon

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut

After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?

WITH YOU - @yoonpobs

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, ceo, marriage, divorce, parent

marrying your childhood best friend was not the love story that most painted it to be. you knew that better than anyone else.

UNTITLED - @eoieopda

drabble, fluff, est relationship, parent

"I loved the dad joon and dad yoongs drabble 🥹 it's freaking cuteeee omg jade 😭😭 *whisper* can you do dad-to-be or dad seokjin too please...? I'm on a seokjin missing hour 🥹 thank you ❤️❤️"

LONG TERM COUPLE - @taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, idol au, strangers to lovers

long term couple masterlist *the whole long term couple series is honestly one of my faves😭*

MIN YOONGI

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, idol au, strangers to lovers

long term couple masterlist

NO MORE - @gyukult

series (two-shot), angst, smut, fluff, unrequited love, college, secret relationship

yoongi doesn’t like your consistent pining, and one day, after finally coming to terms that he will never reciprocate any feelings back, you give up. yet, for some reason, yoongi is the one who can’t come to terms with the consequences of when he says ‘no more.’

VOWS AKA 10 WAYS TO WIN YOUR HUSBAND'S HEART - @hamsterclaw

series, fluff, angst, smut, arranged marriage, est relationship

You’ve been in your arranged marriage with Yoongi for five years, and he’s never once retaliated for anything you’ve done to him. One day you realise you’ve lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.

CARE FOR YOU - @archivedkookie

oneshot, fluff, est relationship, marriage, doctor au

Yoongi will always care for you, no matter what.

BABY, YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR PT.2- @jungshookz

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, mechanic au

welcome to min mechanics - what can i do for you today, doll?

THE TROPHY WIFE - @taeyohonic

oneshot, fluff, angst, est relationship, idol au

the proposal doesn’t go as planned

BACK-BURNER - @/yoonpobs

series, angst, fluff, smut, sisters best friend, friends to lovers

sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?

VEGAS BABY - @chimivx

series, fluff, angst, smut, idol au, parent au

A peek into the life of an Idol and his soulmate tackling the obstacles that come with having a surprise in the whirlwind of a world they live in. { This link takes you to the full collection of works. }

JUNG HOSEOK

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

ONE NIGHT LIGHT - @bts-reveries

series, fluff, angst, smau, parent

Hoseok has been living his very own version of a perfect life. Unlike some of his best friends, this doesn’t include a happy marriage, adorable kids, or even a stable relationship. All he would ever need was music, dancing, and of course, the parties. Now what happens when he gets a wake up call from reality when the door rings approximately six years after his last one night stand?

AT THE CONCERT - @katnisspeetaprim

oneshot, fluff, est relationship, idol au

Hoseok was quite insistent that you come to this show in particular...

KIM NAMJOON

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

UNTITLED - @/eoieopda

drabble, fluff, est relationship, parent au

dad!joon

ALONE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - @monimonimoon

drabble, angst, est relationship

Namjoon promised he would be there on your birthday, he wouldn't be working, he certainly wouldn't work late. Sometimes, increasingly frequently, he broke his promises.

ME AND YOUR MAMA - @joonberriess

oneshot, smut, fluff, est relationship

you like to remember both what life before the little one was and after with your loving boyfriend namjoon.

PARK JIMIN

ROCK BOTTOM - @jkbabiey

oneshot, angst, fluff, smut, marriage, idol au

When, in a four-year marriage, you get to the point where you question its worth, you know that’s your rock bottom. How many I’m sorry’s will you handle? How many times are too many times?

MASK ON - @herherteartear

series, fluff, angst, smau, single dad au

blind dates are never the move.. unless your best friend is vouching for the person you're going on a date with. it couldn't be that bad, right? wrong. now you're in love with a man who has a big secret. a big secret with chubby cheeks and pig tails.

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, friends to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

KIM TAEHYUNG

MINI ME - @bts-reveries

series, fluff, angst, smau, strangers to lovers, parent au, artist au

Unlike his best friends, Taehyung was young, wild, and free. No relationship, no babies, no responsibilities. Well he had his puppy, but that was it. Taehyung watched his nieces and nephews grow up and it was no secret that he too wanted to have one of his own someday. So what will happen when he finally finds someone that matches his personality (and himself) well?

WELCOME TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL - @tteokggukk

oneshot, fluff, idol au, strangers to lovers

"He’s been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he’d subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting."

ONE OF THE BOYS - @littlemisskookie

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, childhood friends, best friends to lovers, high school

All your life you wanted only one thing- for Kim Taehyung to like you. You did everything you could to make this happen, from picking up his hobbies and rejecting anything feminine. But who do you start to become when you stop trying to impress him?

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, (best)friends to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

"I WISH ID NEVER MET YOU" " I HATE YOU" - @v-hope

oneshot, angst, idol au

"pls do 12 and 27 with tae (angst)"

JEON JUNGKOOK

UNTITLED - @onlyswan

oneshot, fluff, angst, est relationship, idol au

in which you make jungkook’s world spin and you tend to… make him a little too dizzy.

ME AND MY HUSBAND - @gashinabts

oneshot, fluff, angst, smut, est relationship, parent au

You don’t want to brag but you have the world’s greatest husband. Jungkook packs your lunch everyday, and makes cute shapes with the fruit. There’s even a little note, ‘ Have a good day at work, Baby! <3’. Smiling to yourself you place the note down, and eat your food with content.

17 GOING ON 27 - @hansolmates

oneshot, fluff, angst, photographer au

one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken.

HOME - @bonny-kookoo

oneshot, fluff, smut, idol au

Singing about love without having experienced it properly before, Jungkook felt a little foolish- as if he didn’t quite have the rights to the words he’d put out there for others to listen to. But Jungkook also loved to learn new things; and loving you was one of them.

LONG TERM COUPLE - @/taetaespeaches

series, fluff, angst, smut, strangers to lovers, idol au

long term couple masterlist

want recs for other groups? check out my navigation → here!

[numinousher]

PICTURE PERFECT ── bts.

SUMMARY: a look into your family dynamic

PAIRING: mafia/ceo!bts x chubby!reader

WARNING(S): just a small talk about birth

NOTE: im back againnn 😈 again, this is a drabble of my combined beings series (which you can in my masterlist hehe) but it can be read as a standalone don’t worry!

“Hmm, I have a question.”

“Y-yes sir.

Namjoon looked up from his notes to look at the worker presenting their ideas for the new project coming up. The poor worker was close to shaking out of nerves once their eyes met Namjoon’s serious ones, with the others on each side staring them down, too. They gulped.

“What—”

“Sir.”

Namjoon huffed and ignored his assistant that had barged into the meeting room with an overly excited expression. He waved him off.

“The product—”

“Sir.”

“What?” Namjoon snapped, now setting his glare on the man by the door. “I’m in a meeting.”

“It’s your wife,” the assistant said, hoping it would ease the tension in the room at the mention of you. It wasn’t any help, though, because every worker there knew how important you were to them so if it were bad news, everyone there would be fired on the spot. “She’s at the hospital.”

“The baby?” Jimin asked, already standing up.

The assistant nodded. “Her water broke. Said, and I quote, to get your asses there.”

Jungkook would’ve laughed at your words if it weren’t for the fact you were going to give birth. So, he and the others dismissed the meeting almost immediately, ignoring the way some workers shoulders slumped with relief at the fact they wouldn’t be in a room with their bosses giving them such intimidating looks.

“Did they check her in with the best room?” Namjoon asked, grabbing his phone to call those who knew you. He glanced at his assistant next to him while he heard the call ring.

His assistant nodded. “Yes, her bodyguards are just waiting for you and are making sure the doctors and nurses take care of her.”

“Send an email to everyone that they can go home early,” Jimin spoke up, buttoning up his blazer to speed walk beside the other 6 who were basically running to get to the car. “Also, add in that there’s going to be 2 weeks where we won’t meet up in person. We’re going to be home to take care of our wife, everything will be online and work will be emailed.”

“Yes, sir.”

A car was already awaiting the 7 by the front of the building, which was why there were some reporters already by the front. It was very uncommon for them to be in such hurry, so while the workers were talking about it online, reporters heard and were already there to record everything—much to Jungkook’s surprise.

“Are they just waiting in their cars?” Jungkook breathed out, slamming the door shut, eyeing the small little circle of people. “It’s literally been, like, 5 minutes.”

“Make sure to have the others in the hospital stop anyone from trespassing,” Namjoon instructed. He leaned back with a leg of his going up and down, waiting for Ari pick up. He sighed in relief at hearing her answer. “Hey, how’s she doing?”

Ari, your best friend and the person who was going to be hanging out with you, winced at hearing your pained grunts. “She’s in pain right now, but she wants you guys here. She’s still not dilated enough so you have time.”

“Can she talk?”

“Let me ask.” Ari turned to face you. “Hey, hon, Namjoon’s asking if you want to talk. They’re on their way.”

You nodded and inhaled, making a hand gesture for her to pass you the phone. She did so and held your hand while you talked to your husband. “Hello?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Namjoon softly spoke to you like he always did. It was very shocking to see this big man with a stoic expression and a rough voice transform into a big softy when it came to you. “We’re already on our way.”

“Please hurry,” you winced out. “Baby is really desperate to meet you guys.”

“I know, baby, and you’re doing so great,” Namjoon continued to praise you. “So, so great, okay? I’m so proud of you and we’re all proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay, we’re here. We’ll see you. I love you.”

“I love you.”

Running into the building, the staff there all became panicked at seeing the 7 men everyone there knew of. They knew them as something else considering the fact they were in charge of the territory the hospital was in.

“Our wife, Y/n L/n is supposed to be here. Where is she?”

“She’s—”

“Get the hell out of here,” Taehyung turned his head at hearing a slight deep voice yell back. He squinted his eyes, looking around, before coming to find a bodyguard of theirs pushing away a man and a woman. “Have some respect.”

“We want to get an exclusive interview with her before the baby comes,” the woman scoffed out, swatting away the bodyguard’s hands. “It is confirmed, though, that she is in labor.”

At feeling agitated, the bodyguard pinched the bridge of his nose before making eye contact with Taehyung’s burning stare while the others went to your room not so far from the chaos.

“Boss,” the bodyguard bowed his head, mentally feeling relief at knowing he wouldn’t have to deal with the two. “These two idiots told the doctors they were family. When they were denied, they tried sneaking into the missus’ room. Me and some others were by the door so we got them before they could interrupt her.”

Taehyung stepped closer, glaring down the two people in front of him who looked into his eyes with such horror.

“My wife is in labor and the first thing you think of is interviewing her?” Taehyung questioned in a low voice, getting closer to their faces. He scoffed. “Is that how boring your life is? Do you have nothing better to do? Get the hell out of my face. You are never to get close to my wife and child ever again.”

He didn’t have to look at his guard to let them know to kick them out. He hurried to the room where you were at and went to sit next to you.

“You’re doing such a good job, pretty. Such a good job.”

“Thank you, Tae.”

“I want the best for her, you hear me?” Namjoon mumbled out loud to the doctor as the two came into the room.

The doctor nodded, not phased by the seriousness in Namjoon’s voice. She was used to his comments and even threats once it came to your safety, so she just got used to it. After all, the money she got was crazy, too.

“Hi, Y/n,” she smiled at you. “Are you ready?”

“No…”

“You’ll do good!”

“We told you to money isn’t an issue here. You don’t need to work. We told you this when you wanted to work remotely.”

Namjoon said as he looked at you with your 2-year-old son, Jaehyung, in his arms. The boy was growing more and more that Namjoon had to hold him up with two of his arms.

“I feel holed up in this place sometimes,” you groaned out before looking at him. “I am not opposed to staying home, though, so if I don’t like working in person, then I’ll stay home to take care of our pretty baby and continue doing work online.”

You cooed at your son with a bright smile. Your smile widened as you heard his giggles because, very much like his dads, he loved having your attention on him. It didn’t help he received their protectiveness and glared at people who even glanced at you rather comically. It was funny every single time, you couldn’t help but laugh when you caught his little scrunched nose and frown.

“Yeah, maybe you can stay home while we get you pregnant and hope for a girl this time,” Jimin commented as he passed by, a small smirk plastered on his lips.

You scoffed.

“He’s kidding, pretty girl,” Taehyung murmured from behind you, kissing your neck. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Before you 7 try to get on my pants,” you started, backing away from Taehyung towards the front door, “I am leaving.”

“Your guards are coming with you!” Namjoon yelled before you closed the door. “We have new workers and they don’t know who you are.”

“Okay, okay, bye, I love you!”

You threw them a kiss behind you, waving at your baby one more last time, and closed the door.

As soon as the door closed, your baby’s smile was wiped away, almost like he knew you were leaving him for hours. He loved his dads, yes, but they could never compare to you since you carried him for 9 months, birthed him, fed him, and took care of him almost every day for majority of the day until all 7 men came back from work and he was carried in their arms.

“Namjoon, he looks like he’s going to cry,” Jungkook muttered as he came into the room. He frowned at seeing his baby’s face. “Oh, my sweet boy, what’s wrong huh?”

He grabbed Jaehyun and mimicked the same pout the kid had on his face.

With teary-eyed eyes, Jaehyun gestured to the door. “Mama leave…”

“My heart,” Jungkook started as he looked at his son, eyeing the mole by his nose to his flushed cheeks, “Mama is coming home soon, okay?”

As if understanding him, Jaehyun sucked in his bottom lip. It began to quiver and his little hands formed into fists.

“Uh-oh,” Jimin simply said, knowing those actions too well.

Jaehyun began sobbing and crying so loud it echoed in the room. The maids who were in the same room as them jumped, clearly startled by the sudden high pitched noise.

“Oh, no, no, baby,” Jungkook softly gasped. He placed his son’s head back to his chest, moving him. “Sh, sh, sh. Mama will come home soon, right?”

Jungkook’s eyes met Jimin, Namjoon, and Taehyung’s own for help. He was used to the tantrums, whatever. After all, Jaehyun was going through his terrible two’s, and he was a runner. He loved running and because of that, he usually ends up falling. It causes a lot of crying.

“You want ice cream, Jae?” Namjoon asked, leaning down to the boy’s eyesight. At the mention of ice cream, Jaehyun slowly nodded, a “yes, please” coming out of his mouth. “Good boy. Come on, we’ll walk to the kitchen and we can even put sprinkles and whipped cream okay?”

Jungkook placed Jaehyun back on the floor, fixing his little shirt, and let Namjoon grab his hand to lead him towards the kitchen.

Jaehyun waved at some maids and guards as Namjoon opened the kitchen door, and Namjoon couldn’t help but smile once the workers would coo at how nice and cute he was.

The personal chef was in the kitchen cooking up some food when he noticed Namjoon. He bowed his head.

“Sir.” He looked down and saw Jaehyun. He smiled and bowed his head again. “Sir.”

“Me Jae,” Jaehyun said, pointing to himself. Namjoon chuckled and helped him get on the chair on the kitchen island.

“Sorry,” the chef chuckled before bowing his head again. “Jae.”

“He would like some ice cream,” Namjoon said, sitting down next to Jaehyun on the chair next to him. “What do you say, Jae?”

Jaehyun blinked. “You!”

Namjoon chuckled and shook his head. “No, what do you say when you want something, bud?” More blinks. He couldn’t help but let out a small snort. “Just give us some chocolate ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles. I’m trying to make him feel better because Y/n went to work today.”

“Oh, that explains the tears,” the chef commented before he quickly served the 2-year-old his dessert. “Here you go, bud. Your mom will come home.”

Jae sniffed and nodded, grabbing his bowl of ice cream. He licked the whipped cream and sprinkles off first before his spoon swirled the ice cream around until it turned to liquid.

The chef looked at him with confusion.

“Don’t question it,” Namjoon sighed. He propped his chin in the palm of his hand, staring down at his child. He could see whose kid it was and it was beautiful. “If you behave, maybe we’ll visit Mom at work.”

“We can go?” Jae asked.

Namjoon was happy to know that in a few years, he could actually converse with them in full sentences without getting distracted. He was so smart already he could form well sentences but, he was still a child.

Namjoon nodded. “I’ll text her, okay? If she says no, we’ll bake her some cookies for when she comes home. If she says yes, then we’ll go, okay?”

Jae enthusiastically nodded.

Namjoon could only stare. This was really your guys’ child, and you guys were raising him so well that Namjoon was proud when the 2-year-old wiped his mouth away with a napkin. He was mimicking your actions.

He was close to clutching his heart.

Through the fondness he felt for your baby, Namjoon texted you 3 hours later to let you get used to your surroundings again.

husband (joon) 😚: how’s work?

pretty wife ❤️: honey i wanna leave, the amount of stares i have gotten omg and yeah ari and eunji make it great

pretty wife ❤️: but i miss jaehyun ☹️

pretty wife ❤️: i miss my babyyyy (and you guys)

husband (joon) 😚: you want us to visit you? we’ll go home shortly after

pretty wife ❤️: pls 🫶🏼 i loved working and i still love my job, but it feels wrong coming back like nothing when my job position could go to someone else and idkkk i love being able to work from home, just not in person

husband (joon) 😚: then we’ll keep things the way they are pretty <33 we’re on our way

You smile at Namjoon’s message. Your online job wasn’t the one you had in person, it was more of making sure the money of products was either increasing and decreasing and coming up with plans. It was something you’d like to do while staying at home, being a mom, and being completely spoiled by 7 men who loved you wholeheartedly.

You also couldn’t help but feel like an outcast. No one on the floor knew who you were. Eunji and Ari, your best friends, knew and of course, they were excited to see you once they came to find you sitting on the seat that has been empty since you left but, other than that, no one knew who you were. It was nice at first—nobody knowing who you were married to—until the usual small snide comments started. They all assumed you slept with someone to get the job so easily and they assumed the worst because it was hard getting a job there. If only they knew.

“Mr. Kim.”

You perked up at the choruses that came from everyone. The person beside you (that wasn’t Ari), softly nudged you to bow your head. You stayed put.

You smiled as Namjoon, next to all of the boys, was holding your son’s hand tightly, knowing that if he spotted you, he would run off almost immediately.

You packed your things and stood up, looking down at Ari, who was on your left side. “I’m leaving.”

“Aw,” she pouted as she knew what you meant. “I’ll come visit you with Eunji tomorrow once we get out of work.”

You nodded. “Tell Eunji I’ll text her. I feel bad leaving without saying goodbye.”

“She has a meeting it’s not your fault,” Ari said with a chuckle before standing up with you and heading towards the boys.

Everyone looked at you two with confusion, not knowing why you’d even have the confidence, much the balls, to head to them. All 7 men were so scary and intimidating. Though they’re not intimidating and scary as they used to be before they met you, they were still scary.

“Mama!” Jae exclaimed once he saw you. He ran over to you, hugging your legs. “I miss you.”

“Aw, and I missed you, my sweet boy,” you pout down at him before carrying him. He nuzzled his cheek against yours, holding the other cheek with his small hand.

He glanced at Ari.

“Hi, Aun’ Ari.”

“Hi, honey,” she said with a tilt of her head to look at him. She wiggled her fingers as a wave, smiling as he waved back, mimicking her. She turned to look at your 7 husbands. “Here to steal my wife?”

Jungkook gave her a hardened look. “Don’t even start, Ari. Our marriage with her is on paper. Yours is in your head.”

“Whatever.”

You smile as Yoongi leads you towards the elevator while Jae waves “goodbye” to Ari and any worker he made eye contact with.

The workers, having been watching your every move, were shocked to see the 7 men and their bodyguards surround you and the kid, almost as if they were guarding you from any potential threats. Even your baby for God’s sake was looking around, mimicking his dad’s.

Oh, shit, they all realized simultaneously. You’re the wife everyone knew of and heard of.

“Good day, Mama?” Jaehyun asked.

You looked at your baby and then at the others who raised their eyebrows in question. They wanted to know, too. You immediately smiled because you knew if they found out half of them were making up rumors or assumptions, they’d all be gone by tomorrow either fired or dead. Never in between.

“Very good day,” you easily lied through your teeth.

Believing you, Jaehyun smiled, going back to placing his head on your neck. Though, he perked up when a bodyguard placed his hand on the arm you had around his back.

“Hey, ‘eave her,” Jae said with a frown, slapping the guard’s hand away. “Daddy, kill him.”

You softly gasped at his words and looked at your husbands.

“I’m sorry,” you looked at the bodyguard. You turned to eye your son. “Who taught you that, huh?”

“Daddies.”

“He’s lying!”

“He’s a snitch, oh my, God…”

[darkpuppysuit]

CHAPTER ONE

Hybrid!BTSxReader

Kim Seokjin: Black Jaguar, Min Yoongi: Black Panther, Kim Namjoon: Grey Timber Wolf, Jung Hoseok: Red Fox, Park Jimin: Golden Retriever, Kim Taehyung: Snow Tiger, Jeon Jungkook: Yukon Moose

Warnings⚠️ Cursing, Smoking, Mental scars come back to haunt Y/n, verbal abuse (towards the end).

Honestly this is mostly purely domestic things will ramp up here soon enough, I promise.

The wind blows me left and right as I push my way to the barn, rain is pelting me from all directions and I almost fall into the growing stream in front of the barn. Slipping through the crack of the big barn doors all I can see are the flickering candles that I had set out earlier in case the power went out, which it did the second I stood in front of my horse. She's stamping in her pen and jumping around obviously terrified by the raging storm or it could very well be the figures I saw run inside just mere minutes ago.

"Hey now, hush. You're okay Dovey." I do my best to soothe her, all is calm for a split second when her head darts to my right tracking something in the darkness and she starts to freak out again. Her head comes back with force colliding with mine and my ass meets the ground with a soft oof  slipping through my lips. "Mother fucker! Damn near broke my jaw doing that, knock it off!" I shout over the storm rubbing my lower jaw then lean back on one hand massaging the side of my head when there's a rustle in the hay bed directly in front of me.

A few moments pass by, then out of the corner of my eye, I spy a flash of orange sprint right into the other stall. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. Are you injured?" Lightning flashes outside with thunder booming closely behind letting me know we're in the thick of the storm and everything suddenly becomes scarier as it rages on outside yet it's almost dead silent inside the barn.

I stand up from my spot on the ground and make my way to the open stall across from Dove. Cautiously, keeping my hands raised as I make eye contact with a pair of glowing eyes narrowed in on my position. It doesn't feel like a death stare but a curious one although the narrow slits in its eyes says otherwise. "Hi, my name is Y/n. I've taken care of hybrids before I-" Pausing I mentally smack myself.

They're not going to trust you if you spout random shit like that, are you fucking serious?

I shrug my shoulders with an awkward smile. "Hi little guy." I barely move another step forward before I hear a low growl coming from my left and as I turn to face the noise, I'm quickly tackled to the ground by a fox hybrid. "Shit! Oh, y-you're not little a-are you?" I say shyly as the full grown fox hybrid looks up from the crook of my neck his pupils slightly blown out and his lips pressed into a soft heart shape, he's smiling and I can't help but stare at the gorgeous hybrid sitting on top of me before I break the silence.

"Uh-uhm c-could you, get off me?" I ask softly and the hybrids eyes widen quickly scrambling off of me. As we stand he curls his tail around his waist protectively and his ears pressed against the top of his head. "I-I'm sorry you just- y-you smell so good, I couldn't help myself." He mutters out his apology and I hear hay rustling again with quite a few pairs of footsteps followed behind with a low rumbling sound coming closer and my body goes ramrod stiff and eyes widen alarmingly as I look over to the fox hybrid. "I- it's f-fine."

I can barely get my response out of my mouth before I feel a firm rumbling chest press against my back. "Please, for all that is good in this world, tell me there isn't a m-moving, vibrating oak tree b-behind me." I stutter as my body begins to shake increasingly worse as the breathing brick wall lets out a low growl.

"Now that's enough you're scaring the poor girl! Can't you see she's shaking like a leaf!" I can't bring myself to turn around at all but the growling does stop eventually and my body relaxes just a little, if it relaxes at all. "I'm sorry about him he's just- protective." I nod in response bringing an arm up to wrap around my middle the best I can as I slowly spin around and back away with my head hung low, I bump into yet another chest and I freeze up again but I feel something soft and wet wrap around my waist instead.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." The mystery man says through gritted teeth, fighting against his natural instincts to protect his pack mates from the human in front of him. I hear him but I don't look up, my own fight or flight instincts have kicked in and I stare at the ground like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

"Goddammit Namjoon, now look at what you've done, she's completely frozen!" Out of the corner of my eye I can see another pair of glowing eyes within the darkness, this one sounds blunt and to the point, oh boy I think to myself as I slowly try to ground myself by absently touching whoever the tail around my waist belongs to trying to move around it and get to the fabric underneath said tail so I can pick at it.

I close my eyes for a moment and only when the hybrid's chest meets my back do I realize I'm stroking it's tail, I quickly let go still a little dazed . "U-uhm, s-so, if you're going to s-stay here, I'm going to need names a-and... uhm- hybrid species so I can take care of you three? Or is there four of you?" I ask quizzically as the power turns back on and the barn is bathed in a warm golden light of the old lightbulbs that haven't been changed in years. 

As soon as my eyes adjust I open them again to not only find three or four but seven hybrids, yes seven male hybrids I count them at least three times as I look around me. There was a black panther hybrid with long black hair covering some of his handsome features leaning against a wall with his arms crossed just staring.

A golden retriever wrapped around my waist by his tail and his chest still rattling against my back staring anywhere but at me with the fox standing next to him awkwardly. What I'm pretty sure is a jaguar hybrid whispering to a damn giant grey wolf hybrid, he is a least a good foot or two taller than me. In fact now that I look around the room all of them are much bigger than me and it's daunting.

I'll have to look up at all of them just to speak to them. "Are we going to stand here while she stares at us or are we gonna get moving?" I look up and find kind eyes and soft features but the rest of him doesn't match his face.

He's tall with long dark curly hair, two lip piercings and a brow piercing, his arms are covered in tattoos too. He reminds me of an old greaser from the movies my grandparents used to watch. I look up and see he has two.... moose antlers? But they're small and form a halo around his head. "Don't be an ass Jungkook she's already scared enough as is." A hand meets my shoulder and it takes me a solid second to turn to the jaguar hybrid beside me. "Hi." I squeak mentally cursing my vocal cords.

This is so fucking awkward, why did I come out here? 

Oh, that's right I thought they were going to ransack the barn.                                                                                                                                            

It's their turn to stare, I would be flattered any other day that wasn't today but right now this is beginning to be too much for my racing heart and my nerves are shot. My mind is fogged and with the intense stare down from six hybrids my knees are close to buckling out from under me.

Just as the jaguar opens his mouth to speak Dove starts freaking out for a moment and I speed walk around the broad shouldered hybrid to get to her but she's calm as I walk towards her and when my eyes look up to see why I spot the tall fluffy, curly hair, tiger? Albino tiger, no his stripes are black not the usual odd blonde color, the ears on top of his head stand out like a sore thumb against his brown curls that lay just above his eye brows.

I steel myself and calmly walk over to him and Dove with a gentle yet shaky hand I pat her neck and the hybrid shuffles away a few steps. "She seems to like you." I manage to speak without my vocal cords betraying me this time, now that most of the other hybrids are within earshot and I can see most of them out of the corner of my eye I start to feel better about the whole situation.

"She likes it when you pat her neck, it's weird she doesn't like to be touched all that much by strangers but, by the looks of it she's comfortable around you, uhm." I stop for a second and look up at the snow tiger hybrid. "Taehyung." He holds his hand out for me to shake and I look between him and his outstretched hand a few times before he takes my hand into his and it completely engulfs my small hand within his grip.

Letting go I turn my attention back to Dove with pink cheeks and pat her neck again to show Taehyung how she likes to be shown affection and he copies my actions before a cough brings me out of my personal distraction and my body stiffens again.

"A-anyways, I don't mind you staying here but the barn needs a few repairs and the roof leaks quite a bit so with that being said, the house has plenty of space for you guys to spread out if you'd like and if not I can bring out some blankets and pillows for the night. If that's what you-"

Looking over my shoulder I can see the retriever and fox hybrid bouncing in place with small smiles on their faces and Taehyung wraps himself around my body in a warm hug while the others share a silent conversation. I lean into the hug and the warmth Taehyung's body gives off is comforting for a moment before the grey wolf lets out an exasperated sigh pinching the bridge of his nose and I quickly stand up straight.

"We'll go to the house with you if it's not too much trouble." A smile comes across my face for the first time in a while and I scrunch my nose a little in excitement to not have an empty house anymore. "Awesome! I made a little more food than I had planned on eating tonight so that works out perfectly! I'll make a little more since there's seven of you, okay?" I grab Dove's bridle and saddle off the far wall and saddle her up before giving her a kiss on top of her head, I hear a few whines off to the side but I don't comment on it.

"I'll be back, I'm sure we have a lot of work this morning." My previous anxiety about being around four apex predators, a moose, red fox, and a retriever melt away like the first frost of winter. I take a look outside from the big barn doors and smile, the rain has stopped and the sun is starting to rise.

As I open the door with the hybrids behind me and the fox and retriever flanking either side of me talking animatedly which has me laughing for the first time in a while. Looking around the yard I stop by the hen house to check on the little chicks and the mother hens, the fox looks at them curiously but once I determine they're okay I walk up the porch steps with the seven hybrids in tow.

"So this is the kitchen if you need anything and can't find it nine times out of ten it's gonna be in the walk in pantry just over there." I point to my right to the double doors against the far wall as we walk through the kitchen I stop in the foyer in front of the stairs. "Now these stairs are old and creak like nobody's business." I take a few steps up and they let out a shrill creak, a few of their ears flatten against their heads at the horrid sound. "So be careful when your walking around this house is old. My grandfather's grandfather built this house back when people could afford to build anywhere they wanted." I smile and walk further into the house.

"This is the parlor room er- the living room, uhm, there is a game system hooked up with a giant wall of movies-" I turn around and they have disbursed into different areas of the large room looking around at the pictures and paintings on the wall.

A warm feeling envelopes my heart and tears well up in my eyes as I watch all of them walking around being curious except for the wolf hybrid, who stands in the archway between the living room and foyer, staring me down like prey with his arm crossed, like he's waiting for me to throw them out or something.

If it wasn't for his overwhelming stature and broad build that reminds me so much of my asshole father maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't feel like he is about to murder me in my own home. "S-so uhm, the bedrooms are upstairs. You can pick any bedroom you want or if you want me to s-show you-" I flinch hard when the retriever runs up to me grabbing my hand to drag me back to the foyer and up the stairs. I know he saw me flinch but I'm thankful he didn't say anything. Soon they've all settled into their respective rooms, I've learned their names as we toured the upstairs so that part of my brain has now relaxed to an extent.

I stand at the stove in the kitchen making breakfast with Jimin glued to my side like a well, for lack of a better phrase, a lovesick puppy. "And then we pour a little bit into the pan like this." I'm cooking pancakes with eggs and sausage with a few other dishes in different cast iron skillets like my grandmother used to do when I was little and I would spend the night when my father had gotten bad before they realized just how shitty he could really be. "Once the top starts bubbling that's when you know it's ready to flip over, see?"

Jimin stares in awe as I flip the pancake over and the bottom is a crispy golden brown. Perfect. After breakfast was done I called out for the rest of the house to come and get it like a dinner bell. One by one they file in from either the living room or their bedrooms but the footsteps stop short in the archway, staring at the table.

"All of this? For us?" The hybrid I've come to know as Jin is actually a very soft individual despite his predator counterpart. "Of course, I'm lucky enough to of had all my cast irons washed and seasoned yesterday so I cooked a big breakfast for you guys. I'm sure you're all hungry."

I smile brightly at all of them as Jungkook is the last to arrive. "Holy shit look at all this food. Are you a line cook or something?" He looks at me with his big innocent looking eyes, I chuckle and set a few paper plates down with plastic silverware and napkins, standing off to the side. "Well, don't just stand there find a spot and dig in." I smile brightly, Jimin and Hoseok are the first to sprint to the table followed closely by Taehyung and Jungkook (who look like they could eat all of it by themselves if they wanted to) followed by Yoongi and Jin.

I walk over to the sink and take a sip of my energy drink, doing my best to stay awake while looking at the six hybrids sitting at my table, I can't help but smile softly at the scene in front of me. They're talking like a family who hasn't been without each other their entire lives, arguing with each other like siblings and feeding each other and stuffing their cheeks as if this would be their last meal, they had to taste everything.

Namjoon being the ever so silent yet calculating pack alpha stands in the doorway again before Jin is dragging him to sit at the opposite head of the table with the chair across from him, empty. "Aren't you going to join us?" Taehyung looks up from the spot next to the empty chair with his cheeks filled with food and I look at him my face burning with the intense eye contact. "Oh, uh, no I gotta get back outside and take a look at what damage the storm caused. But you guys are welcome to roam if you want and if you need me just holler and I'll be back in as soon as I can."

They share a look between them and I barely hear Jimin whisper the word 'holler' again phrased like a question to Hoseok before they shrug their shoulders and go back to eating. Taehyung breaks his gaze to focus on his plate shaking his head as I walk out into the small nook that houses my work gear. Just as I buckle the last spur onto my boot, I feel someone tapping my shoulder and I jump back with my fists raised.

"Hey whoa take it easy, didn't mean to startle you." I take a deep breath and clutch my chest whilst trying to calm my racing heart. "It's decided, you need a fucking bell." I deadpan, Yoongi's cheeks turn a soft shade of pink as I grab my hat off the hook and put it on my head tying my hair back in a low ponytail. "Uhm, I wanted to ask you if there's any, extra blankets-" I quickly cut him off because I've already made Dove wait this long to get back outside I can't make her wait much longer before she starts going stir crazy.

"Oh, yeah the linen closet is just under the stairs there should be a few quilts in there or something, I gotta get back outside, Doves been waiting for almost two hours and I gotta check on the cows." I pat Yoongi on the head and his cheeks burn brighter as my pinky gently brushes the base of his ear. "I'll be right outside if you need me okay?" I say as I walk through the front door and into the side yard to start picking up the tree limbs. 

A few hours of picking up limbs  and throwing them in the bed of the truck with a few other tasks checked off my mental list. I've left the biggest branch for last because, well, it's a big bitch but I'm sure I can handle it by myself for the most part.

"Hey let me help you." I jump a foot backwards from the truck hearing my fathers voice for a moment before I turn around to see Namjoon standing on the other side of the truck.

"Uhm, thanks but I got it handled." I speak awkwardly as I shift to the large branch only for Namjoon to move around the truck and swiftly come to my aide. "Let me help you, it's a big branch Y/n I don't think you can lift it by yourself. " In the back of my mind I know he's just trying to help but I've gone three years doing stuff like this alone. I growl at him and scowl, Namjoon is quick to return the growl ten fold as I stare at him in the eyes.

"I said, I fucking got it." I don't know why my first reaction is anger maybe it's because he reminds me so much of my father a little too much or my other issue being I like to challenge myself from time to time. I grab the branch by the broken end as the other hybrid's run out of the back door wanting to help or to diffuse the situation I don't know.

I pick it up and toss it into the truck before jumping onto Dove's back from behind her pulling the straps to the right. "I told you I didn't need help. Now, did you need anything else?" I ask looking down at the hybrid's below me from the horses back, they can smell the frustration and anger rolling off the pair of us having a staring competition.

I can't help but feel a little pissed but also a little scared as Namjoon turns and pushes pass the others back into the house growling and throwing his hands around in anger and frustration.

I take a deep breath once he's finally inside, my hard shell cracking down around me. "I know you guys mean well but I got this, I'm sure you've been through enough and need to rest. We can all go out and get you some less holy clothes, maybe a few pairs of shoes and whatever else y'all want." My southern drawl slips out to the men around me and there is a long pause accompanied by a few unblinking stares between us before Dove starts stamping her hooves into the mud.

"Right, we can do all that tomorrow, I'll take the afternoon off. Uhm, can any of you drive a truck? I usually pull her along side but that's too slow and I would like to get this shit done so I can cook dinner for everyone later." I ask awkwardly leaning over to pat Dove's neck to both calm her and distract myself from the lingering stares on me.

Jin slowly raises his hand and I smile at him. "Could you drive it through the gate? I'll show you were the burn pile is out in the field. Maybe after it dries up enough we can light a fire? There's enough wood here to have it burn for a day or two." I shrug my shoulders after I kick the side of the truck and both Jimin and Hoseok walk over to Dove and I, looking down and to my right at Hoseok. "Do you think Jimin and I can ride out there with you?" I look between him and Jimin curiously, mentally trying to figure out how to do this.

"You guys want to ride in the bed of the truck or with me?" I can't help but giggle at their smiling faces and swishing tails. Jimin looks nervous as he brushes his fingers through his golden blonde tail. "I don't know how to ride a horse though." He says sheepishly as he looks intently at the ground. "That's okay Jimin honey, you can sit in front and we can make Hoseok take the ass end." Jimin's smile returns to his plush lips while Hoseok looks slightly offended or hurt by my remark but his soft smile is quick to return to his handsome face as I take Jimin's hand and tell him to put his foot in the stirrup and climb up as I pull him in front of me only he's facing the wrong way and I can't help but laugh softly. "Jimin sweety, you need to turn around." I adjust my hat on my head as his perfect cheeks are graced with a cute shade of pink.

"O-oh, s-sorry." I tell him it's okay and lean back so he can swing his feet over to the correct sides of the saddle and I look over to Hoseok if he needs any help. "Come on Hobi! It's a whole other world up here!" Jimin shouts as Dove moves back and forth a little spooked by the sudden volume change, Hoseok quickly grabs my outstretched hand and hauls himself up to sit behind me and I blush as he snakes his long arms around my middle and lays his head on my back rubbing his cheek against the nape of my neck, absently scenting.

I grab the straps to the bridle tightly. "Okay Dovey, let's get this shit done." I urge her to move forward slowly but she has other ideas and jolts forward as if this is the happiest she's ever been. I grab onto the back of Hoseok's tattered shirt when she sprints forward, him and Jimin let out a scream and with my other hand I yank the bridle back and she stops only to walk a little slower. The others laugh as they get into the truck and Jin drives it through the gate except Yoongi he walks back to the house either to check on Namjoon or take a nap, who knows.

Once all of the branches are thrown on the ever growing burn pile I wipe the sweat from my forehead and set my hands on my hips standing next to the truck. "Thanks for the help guys, it would've taken me for-fucking-ever to get this done without you." I huff wiping off more sweat when Jimin runs over to me with big eyes.

"Y/n-ie! When do you think we could light that fire?" His words pour out of his mouth quickly like a running faucet, I lay my hands on his shoulders and he calms down just a little. "We have to wait until the wood isn't soaking wet Jimin-ie." The small nickname that falls from my lips causes his energy to spike, giving him a soft smile before ruffling his hair, returning my hands to my jean pockets. "The next few days are going to be warm and sunny so, I'll probably be out here more often than not." Jimin nods and goes back to playing with Hoseok jumping around happily as he relays the information I just told him.

Digging into my jacket pocket, I pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one as I watch Taehyung join in on the fun. Taking a drag Jungkook walks over to me, leaning his hip against the truck, "Care if I steal one?" I turn to face him cocking an eyebrow. He points to the cigarette hanging from my mouth.

"They're menthol are you sure?" I ask as I open the pack again he just shakes his head so I hand one to him. He reaches for the lighter before I hold it out of reach. "Nah-ah, I've had too many lighters go missing. I'll light it."

Jungkook furrows his brows and looks at me like I'm half crazy then he leans forward waiting. I hold the lighter in front of his face and he lights it but he doesn't move away, instead he looks me in the eyes and smirks when my cheeks grow hotter than they already were.

We're so close one move and I'll hit my head on his fucking antlers. "You know anyone of us, even Jimin, could over power you at any given minute, right?" He takes another drag of his cigarette before leaning back against the truck finally giving me breathing room.

"I know that, I'm used to dealing with dog and cat hybrid's so a good chunk of all of this is new to me. I'm used to them staying either a few hours and then moving on or leaving after a night of rest. Which you guys should be doin' anyways." I nudge him in his side with a smile taking the last drag of my cigarette flicking it onto the wet pile across from me. "We would've gotten some rest had you not challenged the alpha wolf earlier."

I turn my head away from him and look off to my right, Dove has joined the hybrids and I see Taehyung take off running after her like they're playing a game of tag. "I'm sorry about that. It's just- I- he-" I shake my head and rub the back of my neck looking back at him when Hoseok almost falls to the ground stifling the laugh caught in my throat. "You don't have to justify your actions Y/n. He needs to be knocked down a peg or two anyways. Two alpha's of different species going at it is always fun to watch." Jungkook flicks his own cigarette butt into the pile before turning towards me with his hands slipping into his back pockets.

"Two alph- no, ugh, he wanted to help me with the big branch but then he said he didn't think I could lift it, I don't know why those words triggered me the way they did, he was just trying to help and I bit his fucking head off." I take a deep breath, rubbing my face in frustration calling Dove over. "I'm quick to anger and I'm sorry if any of you have to see it, much less deal with it yourselves. I've been doing my best to fix my face I swear."

I tap my cheeks as the horse trots up to meet me and I glance at him to try and gage his reaction but he remains stoic and unaffected by my words like he's trying to process how not to piss me off or something. He does let a chuckle come through so, that makes me feel a little better. "Y/n-ie! Can I ride with you this time?" I turn my head to see Taehyung all up in my bubble with his chin on my shoulder and his white striped tail swaying back and forth excitedly hoping I'll say yes.

"Of course you can! Move for a second I don't wanna kick ya in the face." He moves to the opposite side of the horse and I swing my leg over and sit on the saddle with my thighs squished against her sides and I look over at Taehyung. "Think you could do that by yourself?" He looks at me and then the saddle and back to me, I raise a brow at him like dude, come on you got long legs surely you don't need help up.

I roll my eyes and give him a hand and he sets his foot into the stirrup before hauling himself onto the back of the horse. "Good boy." The words leave my lips and I don't even notice the look him and Jungkook share once those words fall from my mouth because Jimin quickly sits in front of me distracting me from looking at the pair and I can't help but smile at his eagerness.

I hold onto the bridle straps and wrap my arms around Jimin this time and rest my chest against his back to make a little more room for Taehyung. Once everyone is settled and a pouting Hoseok is put into the bed of the truck with Jungkook who keeps smiling at the two blushing hybrids sitting horseback holding onto me tightly, myself oblivious to the people around me as always.

I get into the house and take my boots and coat off, everyone is toeing their shoes off next to mine, and awkwardly standing in the crowded nook waiting. I look around at the four of them around me when Jungkook pushes through from the back making his way to sit in the living room with Taehyung who attaches himself to the hem of his shirt, closely following the moose hybrid.

I walk to the kitchen with Jimin and Jin in tow. "What do you guys want for dinner?" I open the large pantry that also holds a big freezer to the left and endless shelves of snacks and treats as well as dry ingredients to the right. "I'm not picky so I don't care what you make, I'll eat it." Jungkook yells from the living room Taehyung silently nodding along, reminding me just how good hybrid hearing really is.

"Okay then I'll make some chicken enchiladas for you six and for Namjoon as an apology for ripping him a new asshole earlier..." I think for a moment clicking my tongue as I sift through the shelves then walk over to the large freezer.

I open it up and set a hand on my hip tonguing the inside of my cheek lost in thought then I find what I was looking for. "Ah-hah! Found it!" I practically jump into the freezer, my feet coming off the ground a few inches. Standing back on my feet, I pull out a T-bone steak and throw it on top of the freezer once it's closed and move to look for the rest of the ingredients for enchiladas and a glass pan to cook it in. 

Pulling the pan out of the oven and setting it on the potholders on the table I waddle back to the stove top to finish the steak and little fixings I put together for Namjoon. I make his plate and set it in the microwave above the stove incase he doesn't come down right away.

"Dinner is re-" I turn around to find my table already filled with bodies and I raise my hands level with my shoulders. "Okay, nevermind. Where's Namjoon?" I peek into the fridge and grab the few bottles of salsa and hot sauce that I have along with a small tub of sour cream and set it all on the table. Jungkook and Taehyung already putting their plates together. "Make sure you save some for me you heathens!"

I shout playfully pointing my finger at the two hybrids across the table as I walk away from the kitchen to find the wolf hybrid. "Hey! Dinner's ready! I know you can hear me mister!" I shout from the bottom of the stairs after I couldn't find him in the living room. I feel like a mother who has to drag her teenage son from his room just to eat with everyone for a change.

It might have only been a few hours but having people to take care of instead of just the farm animals is a feeling I don't want to lose. "I'll go get him Y/n, you go eat." Jin rubs my shoulder with a small smile that I return. "Thanks Jin, I owe you one." He rubs my back in soothing circles then heads upstairs and I leave the staircase back to the kitchen.

A few moments later I hear the grumbling voices of both Namjoon and Jin arguing while walking down the stairs. "She made me something different?" His tone of voice was softer as he rounded the corner to see his seat was empty and there was no plate in sight. Mid bite I quickly stand up from my chair knocking it over as I rush to the microwave.

"Shit sorry! I left it in here so it would stay hot." I take his still very hot plate out of the microwave and slamming it shut making everyone wince at the loud noise. Jin takes his place by Jimin and starts eating his own food when his eyes light up. "Oh my god this is amazing Y/n! Where did you learn to cook?" He asks as he shoves another much bigger bite into his mouth and I set Namjoon's plate in front of his respective seat. "My grandma taught me how to cook and my mother taught me how to bake when I was little."

I look at the floor as Namjoon takes his seat and I can't help but tear up a little. They notice a change in my scent instead of the normal leather and cedar wood with a hint of coconut and vanilla, Jin was quick to do damage control. "I'm sorry if it's a touchy subject, I'll be more careful wi-" I quickly look up and cut him off, I seem to have a habit of that. I shake my head a little. "No it's okay! My uh, my mom died when I was... when I was like ten and I only had one friend growing up so..."

I trail off and look to Namjoon who has yet to touch his food, he's just sitting there shuffling in his seat and I set a hand on his shoulder. "Namjoon? You okay?" He looks up at me and the faintest pink blush creeps across his cheeks. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." His short reply is enough for me to nudge him with my hip. "Then eat honey, I wanted to apologize to you for my uh- for being pissed at you earlier. I didn't mean to I just, get upset when someone tells me I can't do something or they hint at me not being able to do something. That's all."

I give him a half smile as he cuts into his steak and I wait for him to take the bite, subtly his eyes shine for a second before he swallows and turns to me opening his mouth to speak. "It's good th-thank you." I smile at him and clasp my hands together and my smile somehow gets bigger when out of the blue I hug him from the side. His tail makes a soft thumping sound against the back of his chair but he quickly stops it as though the sudden action had bitten him.

"I'm so happy you like it Joon!" I release him and speed waddle my way back to my seat to finish my food. The is table finally filled and I smile as I take a bite looking across the way as the others return to the plates in front of them and resume their conversations.

Jin is staring at Namjoon with a smile on his face, looking at the hybrid next to him spacing out looking at his plate frozen in place, after a moment he looks up at me and his cheeks burn a rosy red before he quickly goes back to eating.

After everyone is finished I take the plates and glass pan off the table walking to the sink to start cleaning them as most of the hybrid's have moved into the living room. Yoongi stands over my shoulder watching me wash the dishes and put them in the drying rack. "May I help you?" I ask curiously smiling as I half turn towards the panther hybrid behind me with a plate in hand. "I can- Do you want any help?"

He corrects himself as he remembers the conversation from earlier. "Oh, well, you don't have to help if you don't want to, it's okay." I shrug my shoulders while he shakes his head moving to the side grabbing a towel before drying the few dishes stacked to his right. "It's the least I can do after you've cooked for us twice now and I don't think any of the others are going to help." I look at him for a second before leaning back to look into the living room.

Taehyung and Jungkook have started a video game to play together and Jin is sitting on the couch behind the two on the floor watching while Hoseok and Jimin are playing around with a tennis ball they found somewhere (where they found it I have no clue) and Namjoon is sitting on the recliner reading a book from the nearby shelf with his long legs crossed over each other.

"Well I guess one helper is better than none." He nods and we talk for a little bit before a comfortable silence takes over the kitchen, it's nice to have company but not have the need or want to fill the soundless void.

With the dishes dried and put in the correct places (Yoongi needed help at least four times before he memorized the whole kitchen) I dry my hands off and set the towel on the oven handle before moving to the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower if you need any-" Jungkook interrupts by screaming. "Take that you cheating mother fucker!" In triumph he throws his hands in the air, Taehyung covering his eyes chuckling out of frustration his strategy didn't work anymore and I just giggle.

"I'm going to take a shower if you need anything, ask Yoongi." I point behind me as he walks forward trying to catch me before I sprint up the stairs laughing. He turns to face the room staring at him. "Don't ask me for a fucking thing, I barely got the kitchen down."

Stepping out of the shower I take a long look in the mirror. "Seven of them, that's a lot to handle. They're probably going to leave in the morning anyways so what's the point in putting them in better clothes?" I ask myself as I get dressed in an oversized band tee and long basketball shorts before the mirror talks back.

"Look at you, once a whore always a whore."

I recognize that voice, it's the same voice that would yell at me for something as little as spilling his beer when I brought it to him. "That's right babygirl, it's daddy." It whispers nastily.

I whip around and the only person I see in the mirror is myself, shaking my head I turn to walk back into my room when I see him through the mirror next to my bed and I freeze in front of it. "I'm sure you'll be a good fuck for those beasts, huh?" His reflection stares back with a shit eating grin, I grit my teeth and ball my hands into fists. "You're not real, I shot you four fucking times."

My mind flashes back to that night shivering at the image of his skull and brain matter littering the basement walls. "Oh sweetheart, you know that won't stop me from seeping into your subconscious. You know that better than anyone. Trauma like yours runs deeper than what people can see."

The venom drips from his mouth as he speaks it's acidic and my hands begin to hurt with how hard I'm pressing my nails into my palms. "Just go away dickwad, I don't need this shit." I wave him off but just when I think this illusion of my father couldn't get any more real he grabs my jaw, digging his fingers into my round cheeks. "You listen here cocksheath I don't need the attitude so drop it."

He growls and I nod out of habit, this was the first time he had actually touched me which meant he can hurt me if he wanted to, which I'm sure he does. "Sorry darlin' old habits die hard, ya know?" He chuckles darkly letting me go and I fall to my knees with a thud tears threatening to fall from my already puffy eyes.

"Such a good girl for daddy. Now get those filthy creatures out of here!" He shouts words only I can hear and my blood begins to boil. "They're not creatures, they're just as much of a human as I am." I whisper knowing if I shout back at him someone will come and wonder who I'm screaming at when they find me alone.

"No they're not! They belong in a zoo or a circus, they're freaks!" I cover my ears and rock back and forth while humming trying to block him out. "Pay attention to me bitch!" My body is shaking violently as he keeps shouting at me the world be damned at this point.

I stand up on my bare feet and look him in the eyes and my fist goes flying before I have a second to think about it, the mirror shatters into a million pieces and I fall knees first onto the shards below me, my face relaxed and void of all emotion.

I vaguely hear numerous pairs of feet running upstairs as I stare at the blood slowly covering the floor underneath me, I stare blankly at the floor when my bedroom door flies open, I don't dare move, still lost in my own head space. "Y/n! Fuck." Jungkook and Yoongi are the first to burst through the door followed closely by the others.

"Don't move that's a lot of shards on the floor." Yoongi is mindful of the broken mirror when he walks slowly towards my kneeling figure in the dimly lit room as the others stand nervously inside by the door.

"Y/n?" He waves his hand in front of my face and I flinch backwards and my back hits the bed, bringing my knees up to my chest I can't catch my breath and start breathing rapidly.

Bringing my hands up to my face to deflect the blow I'm sure was about to meet my body. "Please, stop. I-I'll be good I swear! I won't do it again." Of course this is when I can't tell illusion from reality, I try to make myself as small as I can so maybe the figure in front of me won't hurt me.

"Y/n, it's Yoongi. You're alright, we won't hurt you." He raises his hand to pull my arms from my face to reveal my red puffy eyes and wet cheeks, my eyes full of pain. "Take a deep breath for me okay? Deep breath kitten come on."

I keep my eyes trained on my knees unwilling to meet their gaze. My breathing slowly regulates and I eventually come back to reality, slowly taking in the environment around me and the seven hybrid's standing around my bedroom door with worried faces.

Jimin is crying against Taehyung's chest while silent tears fall from his eyes, Hoseok is hiding behind Namjoon with his tail tucked between his legs while the wolf hybrid stands tall resisting the urge to pick me up, put me into bed and scent the hell out of me until he decides it's enough.

Jin is shaking and out of breath from running up the stairs quicker than he ever has before while Jungkook is standing next to Yoongi who's kneeling in front of me his expression the calmest out of them but he's anything but calm his primal need to scent and soothe almost clouds his judgment when he takes my hand that sucker punched the mirror into his own.

"Sweetheart, where do you keep the first aid kit? Can you tell me?" His voice is soft and quiet I almost didn't hear him. Looking at him nodding towards my bathroom, he tears his eyes away from me to tell one of them to go grab it then quickly turns his attention back to my shaking form. 

"Let's move you to the bed so we can get you cleaned up." I shake my head determined to stay on the floor, to stay as small as I possibly can. Namjoon grunts and my head snaps to him waiting by the door, meeting his eyes for all but a moment before Hoseok comes back with the first aid kit from the bathroom and hands it off to the panther hybrid in front of me.

He sets a hand on my shoulder trying to look me in the eyes and failing when I bring my head into my lap. "I'm going to clean the blood off your hand and knees, okay?" I shake my head and he takes my bloody hand in his, without missing a single step he tilts his head to look at the hybrids at the door. "Could one of you find the broom and clean this up so she doesn't cut her foot when I put her in bed?"

I let out a hiss of pain when the cotton bud soaked in alcohol meets a particularly deep cut on my knuckles. "N-no, I'll c-clean it, please don't feel the need to clean up my mess. I hate that you have to see me so weak, I'm not worth fretting over like this." I take my hand back tears falling from my eyes before Yoongi is finished cleaning it but he quickly takes it back with a tsk and I raise my head.

"That's bullshit and you know it. Nobody with a heart like yours could be worthless." He scowls at me not out of anger but out of concern for my well being.

I watch him clean and bandage the wounds on my body silently and I've calmed down quite a bit surprisingly enough. "Can you stand?" Jungkook makes his presence known, I look down and try to push my big ass off of the floor but my legs quickly turn into mush and I fall back down to the floor, a piece of glass cuts into my already bandaged hand and starts to bleed.

"I swear you're more accident prone than Namjoon." Jungkook chuckles trying his best to make light of the current situation. He nudges past Yoongi to me and picks me up bridal style then turns to set me on the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" He looks down at me with his sweet chocolate brown eyes and I give him a small smile shaking my head no.

"Give me your hand, clumsy woman. I should've known you'd be accident prone when your chair fell over standing up from the kitchen table earlier." Yoongi rolls his eyes as he patches my hand yet again and my smile grows tenfold. "I know, I'm sorry you guys had to see me like this and take care of me. Haven't even been here a day." I apologize to the room as Yoongi kisses my wrist before putting it by my side again.

"Don't apologize kit. You have nothing to be sorry for and don't argue with me." His eyes flash yellow with narrow slits in the middle before they quickly go back to normal and I nod in return my eyes slowly closing before shooting open again looking over at Jimin and he walks over with his tail wrapped around his waist.

"I'm sorry I made you cry Jiminie." I sniffle before he comes closer to my bed, careful to avoid the broken mirror and Yoongi who's bent over to sweep up the shards with the broom Taehyung finally brought up. "I was so scared when I saw the blood, I thought you- I- I thought..." Tears fill his eyes again and I caress his face wiping away the stray tear that fell onto his pink cheek.

He moves to crawl into bed behind me on instinct before he stops looking at me for permission and I give him a nod before he moves under the blankets behind me. He cuddles against my back and rubs his nose against the nape of my neck to soothe his own nerves as he wraps his arm around my stomach and under my head.

The others slowly make their way out of the room leaving Jimin, Yoongi and myself alone. Yoongi sits at the edge of the bed gently kneading my calf while Jimin snores softly tightening his grip and rubbing his cheek against my neck every so often so I knew he was still here.

[yoonmetogether]

Not In the Cards Masterlist

pairing: bodyguard!Yoongi x CEO!fem reader

genre: mafia, e2l, sloooow burn, age gap

summary: As the youngest daughter of the most powerful family in the country’s crime syndicate, you never thought you would be forced to takeover your father’s money-laundering casino. Due to unforeseen circumstances, you and your brother, Jungkook, are left in charge to carry on with business. But in the absence of your father and oldest brother, Seokjin, the two of you are targets of rival bloodthirsty mobs desperate for power and turf. You must be protected but the man who’s assigned as your bodyguard is someone you never thought you would see again. This wasn’t in the cards.

warnings: violence and murder (not explicit), one incident of partner abuse, guns, drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, smut (eventually), ANGST!!! So much angst, trauma, PTSD, character death

Snippet

Prologue - 6.7k

Ch. 1: play nice - 19k

Prelude: strangers pt. 1 of 3 - 10.2k

Prelude: strangers pt. 2 of 3 - 12.1k Ch. 2: ... - pending

[namfinessed]

go around - j.hs.

genre: angst, fluff (childhoodcrush! brother'sbestfriend!) (8.2k)

summary: to everyone else, he was the sun but to you, he was always the moon, the light you grabbed onto when you could see nothing.

note: grief is something very close to my heart, i've always struggled with it but i'm slowly starting to learn to live with it, i hope everyone who's experienced loss feels like some kind of relief through this, thank you for reading <3

masterlist

-

hoseok was sixteen years old when it happened.

you were thirteen.

and he had thought he was too cool for you then.

you were sitting on the other side of the mary-go-round to him, it was the last but one day of the summer camp you were part of, and you looked at him as if he hung the moon in the sky.

and hoseok felt as high as the moon that night.

but he was also sick to his stomach.

"i like you," you didn't look at him as you said it but hoseok could feel that you meant it, that it took a lot for you to get on that mary-go-round with him, spin with him, build the moon in his eyes and then say the words that he believed were stuck in your throat since when you first saw him.

he knew that your brother wouldn't like that you were saying this.

but he knew, even as a kid, that this was the most honest thing anyone's ever told him.

but he was so cool and so close to your brother, who would kill him if hoseok said anything back.

so, he didn't say anything back.

hoseok pursed his lips and looked away. he swears that, to this day, the tears shining in his eyes were nerves and not the frustration that came with not being able to hold you to the moon too.

the silent rejection didn't yet hit your soft eyes and bare heart.

you kept looking at him, hands gripping the handles so tight that your knuckles changed shades between white and pink and your cheeks puffed, excited and nervous breaths still left your lips.

and hoseok didn't want to be cool for a second there, he didn't want to care about your brother at all, maybe he would just let you take him for a bit, just a bit.

but in your thin eyebrows, he saw your brother.

in your veiny hands, he saw your brother.

in your coily, curly hair, he saw your brother.

so, he got off the mary-go-round, he walked away quickly, not pausing to look at you and he sniffed his tears away, he hugged his jacket closer to his body.

tomorrow, he would be fine.

tomorrow, no one would look at him like he was the moon and he would be okay with it.

but hoseok turned around.

the biggest mistake of his life.

the moon you thought him to be, cast a glow on the tears gathering on your chin and his heart wrenched.

he would fix this, he told himself, he would fix all of this.

but the next day, your brother, his best friend, died.

and you never spoke a word to hoseok again.

-

everything was vibrant when hoseok stepped into your home.

the unkept gardens were now blooming with flowers.

the closed windows were now open and giving a glimpse into the light inside the house.

the home was back to being a home.

he’s seen the transformation take place with his own two eyes over the years and he could confidently conclude that the ten years that cloaked your family and home in darkness were finally nowhere to be found.

and hoseok felt both delight and unease at the development.

“oh honey, you came,” there were few people hoseok could recognize with how they breathed, and your mom, his second mom basically, was one of them.

he didn’t even get to greet her before he was wrapped in a hug that surrounded him with the scent of cinnamon, musky perfume, and somehow, still his best friend.

“of course i did, ma” he kissed the top of her head, his arms not letting her go even if he knew the time for an appropriate hug was up, and she knew it too but she stayed as long as hoseok held her.

and when he let her go, he had to look away from the tears touching her eyelashes.

he probably brought back memories of his friend, maybe he still smelt like his friend too, he doesn’t know but he’s glad if he does.

his best friend’s family was unlike hoseok’s, his own family was distant and cold, and when he became an adult, he cut off all ties with them, he simply couldn’t accept them as family and your mom never let him feel as if he didn’t have one.

“the place is really packed,” hoseok whistled, looking at all the new faces and your mom nodded, “she invited a lot of her friends, i don’t know them but it’s okay, they’re having a good time, you’re here, so it’s all good,” hoseok stiffened at your mention.

you didn’t see him once in the last ten years.

slammed the door on his face.

ignored him even when your mom screamed after you.

locked yourself in your room and never got out if it meant seeing him.

and hoseok learned to accept it, he wouldn’t hang out with him either, especially after what happened.

but it was your birthday and he was invited, by your mom or you, he has no idea but hoseok steels himself to see you at some point in the night.

then, he walks around, introduces himself, ignores the pity that people eye’s throw at him, ignores the sympathetic touches on his arm, ignores the pats on the back and the ‘he must’ve been wonderful to have as a friend’ and he nods because he can’t say that yes, his best friend was an incredible friend until he fucking died.

and suddenly, hoseok wants to punch his best friend, for leaving him with this room of people who didn’t know him but somehow had all the sympathy in the world to shove in his face, for leaving him with no option but to mourn and miss him.

but hoseok was never a good mourner, he was good at going about life normally, good at laughing, good at ignoring his feelings, hoseok wasn’t good at gathering tears in his eyes when he thought of his dead best friend.

after a while, hoseok excuses himself to the bathroom and finds himself in his friend’s room, which remains frozen in time. every poster he hung up, though peeling at the edges on the wall, still stayed, every photo he stuck on top of his bedpost was yellow and faded but again, they stayed.

he doesn’t know how long he stares at their photo, the one they took in the summer camp where hoseok’s head is too small and his arms too thin and wrapped around his friend.

when he ran his fingers over the photo, he didn’t feel anything, he was grazing over hazy memories that he was desperately trying to remember as he got older but they were all slipping away or holding on too tightly at times.

“what the fuck are you doing in jay’s room?”

and he snatches his fingers away from the photo.

as he turns around, he swears he feels his heartbeat in his feet, and no amount of time could ever prepare him to face you.

you’re standing at the door with your arms crossed so defensively over your chest that he’s scared to take a single step forward but something about you, as a sixteen-year-old back then and now, a twenty-six-year-old, always takes his breath away.

and you look so much like jay, from the eyes to the hair to the hands, that he has to look away to breathe again.

“hey,” is all that comes out of hoseok’s mouth and he knows he deserves it when you roll your eyes at him.

“you’re not going to slam the door on me?” he asks and to his surprise, you shake your head, “not this time, my mom might just kill me,” you say while entering through the door and hoseok awkwardly steps around the room to reach where you sit on the bed.

he’s not sure how to feel about your mom having to force you to meet him.

and he’s not sure if he will ever be ready to see you again.

maybe you should’ve slammed the door one last time.

“happy birthday, big numbers now,” hoseok sits five feet away from you on the same bed and he watches your face soften the slightest, “thank you, and yeah, twenty-four doesn’t feel real,” you weakly laugh, falling on the bed and letting your feet dangle off the edge.

“your friends seem fun,” he stayed alert on the edge of the bed, and you nodded half-heartedly, “i guess so, did you meet them?”

“yeah, i said hi and stuff,” hoseok played with his fingers as you sat up again, “they brought up jay?”

“um yeah, they seemed to be very...empathetic about it,” he said, he didn’t know how else to say that your friends' reactions almost made him want to leave the party.

“yeah, they don’t know how to react to dead brothers or best friends, they’re not too bad though,” you laugh again and hoseok just nods, looking away.

for a moment, there’s only silence.

there’s only your breath and his.

there’s only your heartbeat and his.

and hoseok had missed this, he had missed you.

“can you believe it’s been ten years?” he asks because he can’t, he still feels as if it was yesterday that he got the phone call from you.

“i can,” you whisper, “time has been slow for me, so i can,” you’re the one looking away this time and hoseok catches your eyes roaming on the photos stuck above jay’s bed.

“do you want to go downstairs?” you get up from the bed and meet his eyes properly for the first time since you entered the room and he can do nothing but nod.

just before you step out the door, hoseok grabs your hand, immediately dropping it as you stop, “a-are you okay?” he didn’t want to ask you the question that he knows everyone else did but he also wouldn’t sleep that night without asking.

but when you laugh and disappear downstairs, hoseok ends up not sleeping anyway.

-

“thank you so much for coming by,” hoseok shook his head at your mother with the broadest smile and sweat coating his forehead, “of course ma, you can call me whenever you need help,” he pressed a kiss on the top of her head as he passed her and she pushed her face into his arm.

your mom owned a local restaurant and usually, handled everything from deliveries to cooking to serving and hoseok had chastised her multiple times about it.

even now, looking at the full restaurant, hoseok knew he couldn’t leave her to it.

so, after pushing her into the kitchen, he manned the counter for a while and made light conversation with whoever came by.

it felt strange, after so many years, being back around jay’s family, being back in this restaurant where he spent many days and nights.

he shook his head, refusing to let the memories creep back in.

he was used to this, this was just a routine to him, he always helped out, and he knew jay would do it if he was here.

“she loves you a lot already, you don’t have to do all this,” your voice isn’t something he’s used to though, not here, and hoseok’s palms start sweating immediately.

fuck.

he didn’t even put on a good outfit today.

or even perfume, now that he thinks of it.

and he curses himself when you come into view.

“i do this because i love her a lot,” he says with a smile and you roll your eyes, “yeah i know, it’s annoying,” and he frowns, “why?”

but you just wave a hand at him and go into the kitchen.

and hoseok’s left with ten people waving their bills and money at him, so he plasters a smile on his face and continues working.

after some time passes, you come back out from the kitchen with a scowl on your face and hoseok knows this because he hasn’t stopped his eyes from flickering between the kitchen door and the counter in front of him.

“i’ve got it from here, move,” you bark at him as you reach him and hoseok’s frown deepens at you, “it’s only a couple of people, i’ll finish it, don’t worry,” he reassures you but it only seems to irritate you.

“this isn’t your job, hoseok, just move over,” the glare on your face makes hoseok throw his hands up in the air and step away from the counter.

and he goes to the kitchen, he hugs your mom goodbye and he doesn’t bother with saying anything to you while he leaves because he’s sure you will only curse at him. he’s too exhausted today.

but imagine his surprise when the clock strikes midnight, you are at his door with a few soju bottles, snacks, and a sheepish smile on your face.

what the fuck were you doing at his home?

“um, hi?” he adjusts his t-shirt as he greets you, suddenly too aware of his messy hair and pajama pants as his heart once again beats away from his body.

“can i come in?” you ask sheepishly, and he immediately moves away. as you look around his apartment, hoseok still finds it hard to believe that you’re here.

even as you set up the table with soju glasses and food, he can only follow you in a daze.

“come, sit,” you say as if it wasn’t his home, his table, and his chairs but hoseok obliges and sits down.

a few minutes pass with both of you just fidgeting, looking at and away from each other, scratching your necks, and rubbing your fingers together.

until you finally grab the soju bottle and inch toward him.

you take a deep breath in and hoseok lets one out, “i shouldn’t have been so rude at the store, it’s just,” you speak as you pour soju into a shot glass for him and he sits up in his seat, “jay used to be there all the time.” you swallow, moving the bottle away from him and pouring one for yourself too.

“i was there all the time too, you know that,” hoseok says gently, as if to a child and you nod, “yeah, but it was always you and him, not just you.”

always you and him.

not just you.

and the memories that hoseok tried so hard to keep in his head, started creeping their way onto his sneakers and jeans and slipping away like sand.

the nights they snuck in to steal the leftovers.

the days he spent munching down on snacks that your mom generously gave him and jay.

the evenings where they both fanned each other with rolled-up magazines.

the days he spent admiring you at the counter.

but he couldn’t remember the dates, he couldn’t remember the details like what he was wearing that evening when jay hit him with a wooden fan, what was jay wearing when he got dumped by his girlfriend and cried to hoseok, what would jay think of this moment right now, you in front of him with a couple of soju bottles that were bound to be empty soon?

he shifted in his seat, “i won’t come over anymore, i didn’t know you felt like this,” and you purse your lips, “don’t do that, hoseok.”

“do what?” his eyebrows draw closer and you put down your glass to stare at him straight, “be so understanding and nice, just tell me to fuck off and deal with my shit instead of taking it out on you, hate me a little bit because this isn’t fair to you and you know that too.”

hoseok is stunned to silence for a second.

and he has a feeling that these words weren’t just some sudden outburst, you never spoke without letting your thoughts settle so he knows you’ve felt this for a while.

when he catches your wobbling lip and the way you shove food into your mouth to stop the movement, he knows he’s right and his heart softens even more.

“i’m not going to hate you for missing your brother, y/n.” is all he says before he slides your glass towards him and pours you a shot too.

and for a second, you just eye the glass and then look at him with tears so heavy in your eyes that hoseok is surprised they haven’t rolled down your cheeks.

“i think you’re the only one who doesn’t,” you suck in a breath and take the shot, you barely feel the liquid burn down your throat or the tears that finally release from your eyes.

when he raises his eyebrows at you, you shrug with a sniff and look away.

for the rest of the night, hoseok tries to forget that this was exactly how you looked on the mary-go-around ten years ago.

tears on your jaw.

flushed cheeks.

the same coily hair.

for the rest of the night, hoseok stops himself from falling in love again.

-

“again!” your mom threw her hands up in delight after winning one more game of ludo that hoseok had brought over.

you groaned and complained loudly to her, face held up by your elbow and hoseok watched with warm eyes as you and your mom argued about the win.

but he also felt acutely, the empty cushion next to him.

“you’re just a sore loser, learn a thing or two from hoseok,” your mom brought him back to the world, unscathed from his best friend’s haunting.

and hoseok nods proudly, dissolving into giggles when you scoff at him and your mom high-fives him.

“you’re letting her win,” you stare pointedly at him as your mom leaves to bring more snacks and hoseok shrugs happily, “guilty as charged,” and ducks with a laugh when a shower of peanut shells gets thrown in his direction.

“i knew it!” you screeched and he fell onto the floor with a belly full of joy, “mom, i told you, he was letting you win,” you stomped into the kitchen and hoseok heard more sounds of an argument from the kitchen, he rolled his eyes in endearment.

that night, you drop him in your car, and the entire ride, you’re laughing, he’s laughing, you’re speaking nonsense, he’s speaking nonsense, you’re falling on the seat to cover your face and he’s pulling his hands over his eyes to cover his face.

and at his door, you look at him with a face so free of everything.

no lines of worry on your forehead.

no frown between your eyebrows.

no hesitance to smile.

just a hint of moonlight falling over the right side of your face and some of your hair.

and hoseok wonders if he looks the same, if he looks just as beautiful and calm.

but when you keep staring at him with those curious, those tender eyes that he feels you reserve just for him, as if he has the answer to everything, as if he was the answer to everything, hoseok’s heart races in panic and buried love.

both of you realize at the same time, that ten minutes had passed and you were about two inches closer than you were at the beginning of the ride.

he stumbles out of the car, you stutter a goodbye to him and he nods hastily, urging you to leave.

that night, once again, hoseok begs himself to stop falling in love.

-

you only called him once in the many years that he’s known you and it was to tell him that jay had died, it was a freak accident, no one could’ve done anything and hoseok had thought that it was all a dream but your voice, as always, rang true in his ears and he knew that his life, as it was, would change forever.

“hoseok, i-it’s jay, someone hit him with a bike, i don’t know what’s going on, they’re saying they can’t read his pulse, please just come here, p-please.”

your sobs had shaken him so badly that he stumbled out of his camp cabin in his pajamas and he held your mom’s hand the entire time they tried to resurrect jay in the emergency room but once jay flatlined, your mom crumbled in his arms and you ran out of the hospital, you refused to look at him after that night.

and he understands why, he should’ve been there for jay, he should’ve made sure that his best friend didn’t go out for a walk that night or he should’ve gone with jay and been the one to get hit instead.

but it was all over now, and all hoseok was left with was a heavy heart filled with enough guilt for all the years he would live.

so when hoseok’s phone rang in the middle of the night with your name flashing on his screen, his brain unearthed the entire tragedy, the entire night with its roots pulled out of him and he was gasping for breath as he answered.

could it be that something happened to your mom?

did something happen to you?

did something happen to him and everyone else knew but him?

“she’s not letting us call her mom but she said your name, can you come to pick her up?” and twenty minutes later, hoseok pulled up to the only nightclub in the neighborhood to pick you up.

he struggled to hold back a laugh as he saw you draped over your friend’s arms, blissfully drunk, giggling, and utterly exhausted. when he started walking over to you, all of your friends began groaning and complaining to him about you which only made it harder for him not to laugh until your entire weight was shifted onto him and hoseok closed his eyes when you buried your face in his neck, savoring the tender moment.

just like every other minute that he’s alone with you, hoseok can’t believe this minute either.

“i’ve got her from here,” he says, carefully shifting your body to make you more comfortable and you hum in your drunken state, pushing your cheeks further into his collarbones and hoseok tries not to freeze.

“you should join us next time!” your friends all chime in together, their enthusiasm and kind intentions bleed around them and touch hoseok’s heart, maybe he had been too quick to judge them and hoseok gives in, nodding unsurely and they all erupt in cheers which makes him smile.

you had good people around you.

and that made him the happiest person in the world.

as he waves goodbye to them, his hands hold your body closer to him when you start to slide off and all of them exchange looks which hoseok ignores.

he carefully puts you in the passenger seat and pulls off the sidewalk.

he turned up the air conditioner, feeling his body get warmer and warmer as the seconds passed and he forces himself to look at the road and not you.

“hoseok?” the red light glowed on your face when he looked towards you, “yeah, it’s me, just taking you back home,” he doesn’t stop his hands from moving your hair away from your face and caressing your temples with his fingers.

how many years have passed with him missing you?

how many years of loving you has he missed out on?

he doesn’t know how jay would feel about this, maybe he would gag at hoseok’s tender eyes at this moment, perhaps he would tease him but he knows jay wouldn’t hate it.

hoseok pulls back almost immediately as you start to shift, only to relax when your face melts into his fingers.

if it didn’t feel so wrong, hoseok would’ve sat the rest of the night just looking at you and letting the rest of the world pass by.

“don’t take me to mom’s,” you whine and he laughs at your scrunched-up face, “okay, where do you want to go?”

“your’s,” you mumble, and hoseok’s face goes red, it takes him a few minutes and several cars honking at him to come back to earth.

when hoseok carefully lays you on the side of his body and takes you to his bedroom, he bears the torture of your arms tightening around his neck and the torture of your lips accidentally brushing on his skin.

“you like me, right?” you whisper into hoseok’s ear as he covers you with blankets on his bed and he freezes.

when he doesn’t respond, your eyes flutter open, still soft and fuzzy from the alcohol and you ask again, “hoseok, you like me, yes?”

and he’s taken back to the you that asked him out on a mary-go-around, the you that gave him the most honest confession of love in his life, the you that looked at him as if he ripped your heart out.

he nods, “of course i do, we’re family.” and you frown at him.

then, you sit up on the bed and lean forward to hold his face in your hands, hoseok starts sweating under the thin t-shirt he wore, and your fingers touch his face in places that he’s sure didn’t exist before, and every nerve of his melts and burns.

“i’ve always wanted to ask you something,” he says, now that there was no distinction between his breaths and yours and you nod, urging him to go on, “i thought i was always the one who had something to say,” you giggle, falling on his shoulder and hoseok laughs with you.

“why did you start talking to me again? after all this time? it can’t just be because of your mother,” and your laughter vanishes from the air around him, your touch too lifts from his shoulder, and hoseok’s confusion and curiosity grow.

he knows he’s asked the wrong thing, and said the wrong thing, he always does, but why would this question make you so upset?

he just wanted to know why after so many years of ignoring his entire existence, you suddenly chose to come to his home, and suddenly back into his life.

but he also loves that you’re back in his life.

“you don’t have to tell me, go to s-“ he gets up from the bed but is stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist tightly and he sinks back down beside you.

“my reasons are selfish, hoseok,” your tears come back and hoseok is rushing to wipe them away before they ever leave your eyes which only makes them gather faster.

“i don’t care,” he shakes his head and he really doesn’t.

“you should.”

“but i don’t.”

use him, don’t use him, throw him away, or keep him, he’s okay with it all.

your eyes search in his face, any trace of a lie, any trace of dishonesty and you find none that urges you to say, “i need you.”

a strange rush of warmth and bashfulness washes over hoseok as your words run him over.

“it hurts so much and i can’t do this alone, i need you, i just want it to stop hurting,” and hoseok’s heart stops at your broken voice because he knows what’s hurting you and nothing in the world can fix that kind of pain, “i don’t know how to live anymore, every time i come home, i miss him in the space next to my mom, i miss him in the counter that you stand at now, i miss him everywhere and i can’t say this to anyone.”

hoseok barely feels your hands grabbing his as your sobs climb up your throat, “except you, hoseok. no one knows what i feel, it’s pathetic that i miss him still but so do you, i know you feel this too, right?”

and he knows, he knows exactly what it feels like and he also knows that this was building in you since over the past ten years, the same way it’s been building in him.

that sense of loss that never goes away.

that sense of waiting for the relief that comes with moving on, that never came.

that sense of having nowhere to go and cry it out because the rest of the world doesn’t see what it’s lost, only he can and only you can.

“i do,” he finally choked out and your cries grew louder, hoseok winced at the volume and tapped your arms to calm you down but he was barely calm himself.

years and years of his grief catch up to him, run him over, trample over him and his mind ignites with every single second he spent with jay, every single he spent missing jay and then ignoring his memory.

all of it grabs him by the throat and chokes him but he lets your head fall onto his shoulder, and keeps his own tears away from his eyes as your body breaks on him.

when you were kids, hoseok had held you when you were laughing, he had felt your joy go through him, spread onto him, he could feel your happiness as if it was his own.

when you laughed in the car with him, the sound jogged his memory on how to laugh, on how to feel happiness again, he felt it go in and out of him in waves that he couldn’t control.

it was a miracle to him that just by touching someone, you can feel what they feel.

but now, holding you when you were crying, feeling every tear on his own skin, the burden of it all sunk him deeper than he could pull out of but he held you, he wrapped a singular arm around you and buried his head in your hair.

if anyone was going to know that he cried about jay, it was you and if anyone was going to miss jay with you, it was him.

and that night, he let himself fall in love.

-

the next morning, hoseok woke up with swollen eyes but a happy heart, a less lonely heart, he got up from the couch and entered his bedroom where he spent several minutes just staring at your face and stopped himself from kissing your cheek.

he stepped out of the bedroom quietly, padding his feet as gently as he could on the floor, and started preparing pancakes, hot chocolate, and everything else he could remember as something you liked as a kid.

hoseok couldn’t keep the smile off his face the entire time he whisked the batter, stirred the hot chocolate, and put out the plates. every moment that passed reminded him of you in his bedroom, it made him feel fuzzy and warm and ticklish, as if the sun had come to sit on his shoulder.

finally, his life was falling into place.

he almost jumped in excitement when the sound of his bedroom door creaking echoed throughout his apartment. he peeked around the corner to see you dragging your feet with even more swollen eyes than his and he stifled a laugh.

“good morning, pretty,” hoseok sang and giggled when your groan came as a reply.

“what’s all this?” your eyes barely opened to see the spread of food in front of you and he shrugged, “just some breakfast for you, did you take the aspirin beside  the bed?”

you nodded and stood unsurely until hoseok got up and pushed you to sit down gently, “sit down, it’s all still hot, have it soon,” he kissed the top of your head and you stiffened under him.

hoseok quickly stepped away, laughing uncomfortably, and sat down as well.

for the next few minutes, he waited as you took in everything in front of you and his heart raced the entire time.

did he do too much?

was he moving too fast?

but he had already wasted so much time over the years, he wasn’t going to make the same mistak-

“why?”

hoseok frowns at your question, leaning forward to see if he heard it right but when he looks up, he sees your tear-filled eyes and he knows he’s fucked up somehow.

“w-what happened?”

“why are you doing all this?” he doesn’t know if you’re asking him or accusing him of something.

“what do you mean?”

“why.are.you.doing.this?” you punctuate every word with quick breaths and hoseok knows he’s pissed you off.

why or how he’s done that, he has no idea.

“i thought some food would be nice in the morning, especially with your hangover,” he stumbles over his words because he didn’t think he would ever have to explain why he made breakfast for someone.

you stay quiet.

he says your name.

once.

twice.

thrice.

then, you get up from the chair and look at him with both the most anger he’s felt in someone and also, the most pain, “i can’t do this,” you mumble and in the next minute, hoseok’s door is left wide open and your seat is empty.

he watches the food go cold and tries to hold himself together as he clears everything up, all the warmth he felt in the morning disappeared down the same drain that his food went.

and all he could was watch and let it happen.

-

weeks passed and hoseok dipped in and out of the restaurant, trying to see you, catch a word with you, and try to fix things, but whenever you saw him, you ran away.

whenever he waved to you, you would hesitantly lift your hand and then look away, engaging yourself with someone else.

whenever he called you, you wouldn’t pick up.

his messages remained on delivered.

and hoseok’s heart broke little by little as he saw you intentionally pull away from him.

he couldn’t understand why, you had such a beautiful night together, you had poured your heart out to him and he had done the same to you but somehow, it was as if that night didn’t exist to you.

maybe he read it all wrong?

maybe you just needed him as someone who felt the same as you, who experienced the same grief and here he was, his heart growing wings and the love he buried blooming again.

but you had loved him ten years ago.

and that confession was still fresh in his mind, still the most honest thing he’s heard in his life.

maybe he was stupid for ever thinking that you still felt the same love from ten years ago?

but as his mind replayed your words, ‘i need you’, it didn’t make sense to him that suddenly, you wanted to push him away.

“take these when you go home,” your mom packed him multiple boxes of side dishes and rice and everything else she could cook throughout the day and he nodded, thanking her with a kiss on her head, and headed for the door.

until he heard your voice.

his entire body froze at your presence.

but he’s had enough.

hoseok turned around and started walking with loud steps towards the kitchen, and when you came into his vision, he didn’t feel the warmth or the love or any of the good stuff.

he only felt the hurt that blinded him that morning, he only felt the pain spearing his heart as he threw everything away, he only felt the loneliness that played with him until the late hours of the night.

hoseok knows he’s not the best person but he also knows that he didn’t deserve that.

“you asked me that day, why i was doing all that. let me ask you now, why are you doing this?” he glared right at you, and in the corner of his eyes, he saw your mom glance between the two of you and then duck out of the kitchen.

he will apologize to her later.

in front of him, you tilted your head at him and tried to appear tough by crossing your arms across your chest and staring back at him.

but hoseok is past this, he’s tired of being lonely but he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want to feel lonely when he’s in love.

“look, i don’t know what’s going through your mind and i never will until you tell me, but you can’t do this to me, you can’t push and pull whenever you like, i know you’re hurting somehow but i am too, so figure yourself out and then come to me because i know that i’m not alone in this feeling, i know you feel it too.”

with that, hoseok marched out of the kitchen, hugged your mom on the way out and went back to his empty home, where he might’ve felt lonely but he at least didn’t feel miserable.

you will hopefully find your way back to him.

but if you don’t, hoseok’s just going to have to find a way to be okay with that too.

-

days passed again and hoseok tried to move on.

you didn’t call or message or try to reach him and he took it as a rejection, which was still okay, he would still be okay.

he busied himself with his work, with your mom’s restaurant, and tried to learn how to cook, tried to liven up his apartment with knick-knacks, he took up arts and crafts.

hoseok did everything he could think of and for the most part, he really was okay.

but he also really wasn’t that okay.

he drifted through the days, pushed you out of his mind, and drank a bit from time to time to forget you only to hover his finger over your contact every night, he still kept the blanket you slept on in the corner of his room and not in the laundry basket where it should’ve been.

but still.

he was okay, he told himself, he would go back to some version of himself which was okay.

hoseok walked to the restaurant with his head down, earphones in and counted his steps because he had nothing else to do.

when he reached, he still didn’t look up, he continued to his counter where he removed his hoodie and put on an apron, humming to himself and cleaning the counter up.

until your mom’s shoes came into his view and by the time he looked up, she had grabbed his arm and started shaking him which made him frown.

he looked up to see her tear-streaked face and echoes of her sobs that traveled from her hands to him and the desperate shouts he could only see with his earphones in.

his hands shakily reached up to remove his earphones and then he heard it.

the heart-stopping cries and yells.

hoseok’s eyes went round with panic and he immediately grabbed her body as she fell onto him, he tried his best to soothe her but seeing her tears, was already choking him up.

he tried to keep his panic at bay as he patted her back and tried to make sense of her babbling.

what if something happened to you?

he couldn’t deal with that kind of grief; he wouldn’t survive it.

“she hasn’t picked up a single call,” something did happen to you, and hoseok bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his sobs.

“ma,” he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look into his eyes, “please breathe with me,” she nodded, timing her inhalation and exhalation with him and when her sniffles subsided, she told him, “she ran away this morning, i’ve looked everywhere and i’ve called everyone, no one has seen her, i don’t know what to do and the police aren’t doing anything until she’s gone for a day but you know her, she never does this.”

she rambled endlessly to him and hoseok held onto her the entire time, feeling only a bit hurt that she never called him but that wasn’t a concern right now.

at the end of it, he offered her a glass of water, removed his apron, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before heading straight for the door.

“hoseok,” he stopped at her voice, “i only didn’t call you because i know you two aren’t doing well right now, otherwise you know you’re like my son.” and hoseok melted, he smiled and took her hands as he said, “don’t worry about that ma, we’re family, you keep calling people and i’ll try to find her.”

he didn’t know what to feel once he stepped out of the restaurant.

in the restaurant, he could focus on reassuring and comforting your mom, he could place all his energy into caring for her but now, he was alone and he didn’t know what to feel.

hoseok got into his car only to realize he didn’t know where to fucking begin, you could be anywhere by this time, even a different city but he has a feeling that you were not too far.

but he didn’t know that with certainty either.

every thought he had only put him in a chokehold as his mind reeled with every worst-case scenario.

nevertheless, he put his fears aside and started the car.

the next few hours, he drove in every street, looked in every club and café, kept checking his phone some one million times, and stopped at the entrance of his summer camp where his life seemed to begin and end.

jay would’ve had a panic attack if he was here with hoseok right now, hoseok smiled as he thought of how worried jay would’ve been and how he probably would’ve cursed you out after finding you, how he would’ve hugged you and hoseok in relief, how he would never let it happen again.

jay would’ve been so many things if he was still there with hoseok and that killed hoseok every day.

he kept staring at the entrance where he ran out of the day jay died, where he held back his tears and shook his head and told himself that it was all a lie, that his best friend was still alive.

hoseok threw his head back on his car seat.

grief was so unfair; it took away so much and left him with so little.

if it was so hard for him, he couldn’t imagine how much more angry or sad grief would’ve made you over the years.

and just as he blinks back tears, his phone rings and he runs his hand over his face to answer it, “ma, i’m still out, don’t worry, we’ll find her,” he starts reassuring only to hear nothing on the other end.

“hello?” he frowns.

“hoseok?”

and he almost drops his phone in relief.

“god, are you okay?” he immediately sits up, starting the car again, “where are you? i’m coming to get you right now, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“why aren’t you home?”

“huh?”

“why aren’t you home right now?”

“are you at my place?” hoseok frown becomes even deeper and he knows your silence only means one thing, he sighs out, “stay there.”

and he’s turning the car, calling your mom to tell her the news, and feeling a hundred different emotions as he reaches the lane of his apartment.

right by his door, he finds you, sitting on the floor with your knees to your chest and the rocks slid off his shoulders, he feels air enter his chest at the sight of you, unharmed and safe and breathing and…alive.

he doesn’t know why he’d even thought as far as you being dead but he couldn’t help it.

it was midnight but the moonlight, as always, found you and your tears, and hoseok sat right next to you and stretched his legs out in front of him.

 “why didn’t you say anything back?” he hears you mumble and he frowns, “when?”

“that day in summer camp, when i told you i liked you, why didn’t you say anything back?”

and hoseok sighs, the secret he’s held in his heart for as long as he remembers, starts crawling up his throat, “i like you too,” and his lack of using the past tense has you sitting up straight, tears now reduced to sniffles.

“you do?” and the way you ask it almost has him hitting his own head, how did he ever let you think otherwise?

“i would be crazy if i didn’t,” he smiles weakly at you, his heart suddenly exposed and raw and beating louder than it ever has before, and you fall back on the wall, “but you just walked away then.”

and hoseok knows he can’t hide it anymore.

“i didn’t say anything because i went to jay,” hoseok recalls how cold the night was, how quick his steps were to reach his best friend and he watches your face light up and fall, all in just seconds.

“i needed to ask him if it was okay, i needed to tell him that i liked his sister and that i wanted to take care of her, and he didn’t like it,” hoseok shakes his head, a strained laugh leaving his lips, “we fought all night, but i guess he saw how much i meant it, so he gave me his blessing,” he looks up at you and you’re closing your eyes, letting your head fall back.

“he gave us his blessing, y/n, he did and that’s why i’ve never given up on you, he was so dramatic about it, you would’ve hit him if you saw him say it,” he laughs, the memory still so fresh of jay hugging hoseok and whispering to him that he would be dead the next second if he ever hurt you, how jay stopped himself from smiling as he thought of you with him.

he kept that close to his heart and never told anyone about it, it was for him and jay until today but now, it was for you too.

every time he felt bitter over the years that you avoided him, hoseok reminded himself that he loved you and he always will, and jay would love that hoseok loved you.

and you’re holding back sobs that still escape and tear into the world.

“i’m sorry,” he hears you say and he hums before placing your head on his shoulder, he tries not to cry when he feels your sobs, he sniffles and looks at his feet.

“i was so scared that morning, i told you everything i’ve never told anyone the night before and you still treated me with love, i thought you would tell me to leave, that you would finally have had enough but you didn’t and it still scared me. you shouldn’t be in my life hoseok, i will ruin you,” his heart sinks and hoseok moves closer to you because he doesn’t know where he belongs if it’s not beside you.

“i don’t want to be anywhere else,” he says and presses his hand to the side of your head.

“i can’t stop missing him, hoseok, i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you shake your head and he sighs, feeling his throat close up.

“i miss him too.”

“but it’s been so long and i feel like i should move on by now, i don’t know,” you mumble, your tears falling into his shirt and skin.

“jay’s not some ancient history but i think he would hate both of us for being stuck like this.”

“i don’t know another way to live.”

“neither do i,” he shrugs, he knows how lonely he’s felt, how solitary his life was but, “but it will always hurt, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, you lost a brother, a companion for life, i lost a best friend, my soulmate and it’s always going to hurt. but i don’t want either of us to be alone in that pain, we don’t deserve that.”

life can take everything away from him but if we had a few good people and he could love those people, that was enough for him.

“it’s about time we start living for jay, do everything he would’ve done, feel everything he would’ve felt, and keep him alive, don’t you think so?”

and when you nod, fall on his shoulder, and whisper your love to him, it’s just like the first time, the most honest words he’s heard in his life.

hoseok knows his life can sometimes feel empty but sometimes, like right now, it can feel so full that he wouldn’t know what to do with all the love he gave and received.

he whispers his love back to you.

until dawn, you cried on his shoulder, and in the morning, hoseok made breakfast for you, you kissed him and whispered your thanks, he kissed you and whispered his love again, and you smiled and ate the food he made.

and it was calm, normal, another day but everything had changed once again for hoseok.

because this time, he had you and you had him, and in both your hearts and minds, you had jay.

and you learned to live life again, with love, and not just regret, with happiness, and not just guilt.

you lived, not just to grieve and mourn, but to actually live and build a life, with hoseok right by your side. he lived, without

-

taglist: @blissingtaehyung @cuteipat @hobicorewhore @yoongleskitten @mrjeonghan @greenie-frog @avawants2havefun @an-ever-angry-bi @alyenorgondorwarrior thank you all so much for liking the preview, i hope you enjoy the full fic <3]

[namjooningelsewhere]

War Of The Hearts: #9

✽Pairing - OT7 x reader (DJ) and OT7 x Lily

✽Word Count - 7.8k

✽Ratings - 18+

✽Genre(s) - Mafia Au, Angst , Fluff, mentions of smut.

✽Trigger Warnings - Mentions of Death, Mentions of Trauma , minor alcohol consumption, mentions of torture and shootouts and mentions of bloodshed, Mentions of Drugs, Attempted Murder, A little manipulative behavior, A shootout, a lot of cursing, There is a little bit of torture in here so please please avoid this if this triggers you in any way.

✽Summary - You’ve been lurking in the shadows, protecting the seven of Bangtan even if it means you must give your own life. After all, that’s what you do when you are in love with someone irrevocably. That pain seems to be minuscule in light of their safety. But it was never about you, for all you are is a speck of dust in the universe they have created for them and their girlfriend. Your heart’s at war, but it’s fine, you can smile through the pain as long as it means they smile- for her.

✽A/N : Hello Everyone! I apologise I couldn't post the last time due to some circumstances and I literally couldn't find any time to get on Tumblr after the post. The 9th part is here now, And I hope you guys like it, And also my apologies if you find the writing a little over the place, Ive been in a slump with writing since a year and this is my honest attempt to get out of it. I would love it if you let me know what you think about it.

✽Taglist: @brimal @2ne1unni @shatzkrinslinzki @zae007live, @gukieater @tinyoonsblog @skylievin @2ne1unni @lovelgirl22 @euphakid @embrace-themagic @didi-9310 @loisje123 @iamhereforbts @silscintilla @2ne1unni @rp171198 @aboredboredboreduniverse @blaaiissee @top-crop @sa7kou @chhungi-bawihtlung @aquariushoesss @definitelythinkimanalien

7mer @babycoffeefire @emoskytime8 @hob3yw0rld@motivatedprocastinator @speedyqueendaze @sugajinny @thereaderwholovesyou @btspurplesky @skz-jeha @theestrangeddreamer @success1009 @militrybarbi @afangirllikeme-blog @celestialentitiesss @daydreambrliever @bibebts @dreamamubarak @kimsaerom @sa7kou @veronawrites @bt21chim @cutiepat @jooniebub @shadowyjellyfishfest @mageprincess7 @jiminbolala @impossibilitydesign @xtayxx​ @ cherryluvhobi @knjsbae @intoomanyfandoms15 @foreverddaeng

✽Part Eight - Here

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

You chuckled at hearing a gasp from the Bratva’s side, Your request was very unusual for him. You knew that. You were sure he wouldn't be able to fathom why exactly you wanted Zakharov to visit you in Korea.         

“Bratva, we will speak when you get here. Right now all I am requesting is your presence here. Rest assured, This is going to be one hell of a trip.” Bratva obliged your request right away without questioning further. You looked at the men standing in the room looking at you with an expression that spelled curiosity all over their faces.

“They have agreed to come, Bratva will let me know sometime tomorrow when exactly they can come.” 

“You're in for a treat.” Borris looks at Jimin helplessly when he hears Jimin mock him. You shrug your shoulders when Borris looks at you expecting him to help him. He should have thought of that before they plotted against you and the Bangtan men. These were nothing but consequences of their actions.

If they didn't feel bad before using and treating you as a scapegoat, Then why the hell should you?

“What do we do now?” You take a moment to answer Taehyung’s question. How were you supposed to go from here? 

“Let's move him to my house, Mikhail will be taken care of by my men.” Nobody speaks up against your decision, Except for Borris. Who of course has a lot of comments to make. You ignore the pleas of the man and ask your men to take him to your house. You needed to keep a strict eye on the man lest there should be any other unexpected events. Should there be one?

It takes a little while after a screaming Borris is escorted out of the room, You take a minute to calm down. The way Borris kept screaming gave you a headache and you really didn't want to hear the voice of that man for some time. You needed some silence.

You sit in the room with the other men who seemed too quiet, Nobody spoke anything. They were all just sitting there. Some look at their hands entwined in their laps, The others look at the furniture in the room as if it were in some museum. These feelings sometimes were so difficult to express, That you had no idea what to do about it. You all had been played, and manipulated by Lily. And right now neither you nor the boys knew where you would go from here. “It's getting late, We should leave.” Everyone looked at Namjoon with somewhat of an expression of relief, The awkward atmosphere was getting too much to bear.

“I don't want to be anywhere near Lily right now.” Everyone seemed to agree with Yoongi. You looked at the seven men with a puzzled expression. Lily did not know they knew, And you did not have the slightest clue yourself of how the boys were going to face her, Let alone you.

“I think me and Namjoon will go to our house with Lily, The rest of you stay with DJ at her place.” Namjoon gave Jin a questioning look but did not speak. The older male seemed to gesture at something which did not make him question anything anymore.

“Boss, do you want us to come with you?”

“No, I guess let's call it a day. You guys have had enough for today as well.” The two men nodded and left first. You bid farewell to the two men who left for their house. You could feel the tension thick in the air but there was very little that you could do about it. You had no words to express the pain that you yourself felt when you saw the pain on the seven men's faces. They were feeling so many things at the same time, Yet there was barely anything that these men could do about it.

“Namjoon..” You pulled Namjoon into a hug when he looked back the moment you called him. His hands tightened around your waist and you just wished he could feel what you wanted to convey.

“It will be alright.” You feel his head nodding in a yes, You take a deep breath inhaling his scent, Which provides a sense of comfort. You let him go after a second, He gave you a weak smile and proceeded towards his car. You followed the five men to your respective cars to leave for your house.

The house seemed dead silent when both Jin and Namjoon walked in, The men wordlessly walked towards Lily’s room. She was still sleeping peacefully and totally unaware of her surroundings.

Jin took a seat near her and switched on the lights on the light side. The dimly lit room hid their tears very well. The soft light illuminated only the face of the woman they had come to love all these years, They couldn't have thought in their wildest dreams of the dark secret the woman was hiding.

Namjoon stroked Lily’s head softly, His fingers caressing her forehead in a way where a little force could break her. He let out a sigh and looked at Jin who had an equally gloomy expression on his face. The two men spent a good minute just looking at Lily, who looked like she was having the best sleep after a hard working day.

“You remember the first day we met her? She looked like she was seconds away from ripping your hair out?” Namjoon chuckled at that fond memory. For the first time ever in his life, he had someone walk up to him and yell at him. With every word she spoke, Namjoon kept controlling his laughter which ultimately came off the minute she took a pause. She still remembered the bewildered expression that came over Lily’s face when she saw them laughing his head off. The smile that came on her face after snatching his breath instantly threw him out of the laughing fit. The way her eyes crinkled when she laughed too was enough to have him swooning.

“I remember it clearly just like it happened yesterday. That smile was lethal.” Jin let out a small laugh at Namjoon’s mention, His first memory of Lily resembling something of Namjoon. He still remembered the way he had dragged Namjoon to see who she was. 

“Who knew she was hiding so many things.” 

“Never knew she could do something like this to us.” Namjoon withdraws his hands and stands up making his way to the window, The dark night looks better than the darkness inside him. His brain wanted to kill the woman who had used him and was probably very close to betraying him. But his heart kept refuting everything he had heard. Namjoon let out a frustrated scream and punched his hand on the window hard, shattering the glass into pieces.

“Are you fucking out of your mind? Show me.” Jin looked at the younger’s hand in pure despair, The shards of glass sticking to his knuckles made him bleed profusely.

“I will kill you if you do that shit again, il back in a second.” Jin rushed out of the bedroom to bring the first aid kit while Namjoon dejectedly took a seat on the chair placed right in front of Lily.

Jin froze in his steps and Namjoon suddenly stopped him with his hand. He got up and knelt down in front of Lily who was letting out small groans. She was waking up. Jin pulled Namjoon back and made him sit.

“I don't care if she is waking up, Sit down. Let's have a look at this first.” Jin’s stern expression got Namjoon sitting down like a small kid who was threatened with being grounded. Jin let small curses when Namjoon winced in pain and right at that moment he was thankful that he had the rest of them by his side. At Least they weren't going anywhere. They would always be by his side.

“DJ….” Jin paused his administration on Namjoon’s hand the second he heard your name, Really? She had the audacity to set you up and then utter your name like you were in some kind of distress. Namjoon tried getting up but Jin’s strong grip on his thighs didn't allow him to do so. 

“Funny isn't it, How she is the one who was setting up DJ, and hers is the first name she took when she's waking up.” Jin's grip didn't allow Namjoon to budge. The man could be as stubborn as a mule and nobody could do anything about it. 

“I wonder what she remembers.” Namjoon quickly shushed him, pointing a finger at the woman. Jin and Namjoon concentrated on the woman's movements which kept getting more restless and your name which kept coming out of her mouth like a mantra. Her movements signaled the men that she would be waking up any minute.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

“Namjoon.--

“Don't wake up, Just lay back down.” Namjoon placed her head back on the pillow, While Jin ran to fetch a glass of water. 

“Where is Dj?” Namjoon placed his finger on her lips trying his best to not shake her up and slap her for what she tried to do. 

“She's safe. You should get some rest.” He stroked her forehead and the woman fell back asleep. Jin gently held her head and helped her drink some water. Even before she could take two sips Jin popped the question he had been dying to ask her, What did she remember? The water spluttered out of Lily’s mouth and she began coughing violently. Namjoon gave a stern look to Jin while he rubbed her back, Jin just gave a blank expression. Maybe he knew what was about to go down. His mind wanted to see the extent she would lie, but his heart secretly wished that somehow magically she wouldn't have anything to do with all this.

Lily’s huge sobs brought Jin out of his thoughts and the little hope that was peeking its head inside his heart went away in an instant.

“He had his gun here, Right on my head.”Lily wept in Namjoon’s arms and the latter just stopped himself from giving her a piece of his mind.

“Sweetie, did you know who they were? Why were they after you?”

“I don't remember anything, They hit me so hard on the head. Maybe they wanted to hurt you guys and meant to use me like a pawn.” Jin clenched his teeth in rage, Really is this how this woman had been lying to their face all these years? What else had she lied about?

“Namjoon, Jin. I am too tired and weak right now. I want to sleep.” The two men placed her head on the pillow back again and pulled the comforter on her. 

“Sleep here with me please, I don't want to be alone.” The two men obliged unwillingly, What could they have given to not be there with her right now. For the first time ever, They did not want to be there by her side. They had the urge to run miles away from her, But there was so much to know and so much left to unveil, They had to play along.

Lily relaxed a little after she had the two men sleeping next to her side, She snuggled into Namjoons chest and prayed silently that everything was right at the place that it was supposed to be. For the life of her, she couldn't remember a single thing no matter what. While she decided to rest and hope that everything was fine, the two men stayed awake next to her, hating every second of it. This was going to be one hell of a long night. 

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

You sat in front of the two men that had been locked in the basement, Your men stood guard outside ready to blow the heads of the two captive men if they tried something. Mikhail kept drifting in and out of consciousness while Borris sat terrified and roped to the chair. His eyes kept moving towards Mikhail and the fear of having the same fate as him and that fear in his eyes gave you a sick level of satisfaction.

“Why can't you just let us go?” You did not dignify Borris’s question with an answer,  You were not even sure anymore what were you even supposed to say to him? These guys came into your life from nowhere and turned it worse than up and down, for their own selfish needs. Tried to pawn you off like you belonged to them or some toy that they had bought. Lily should be thankful you still had not laid your hands on her.

“Will you say something?” Borris bought his voice several notches down, Still not sure of what you would do lest he pissed you off. Mikhail was right next to me, probably wishing he was dead. 

“If I hear one more word out of your mouth, Those worms from his thigh will be in your eyes.” Borris shrieked loud enough to induce another headache, One movement of your leg was enough to have the man apologizing profusely. 

You kept sitting in front of the two men, This time in peace. The entire day kept flashing in front of you like a film, The one you wouldn't even want to have a dream of. You had to plan ahead, Starting from Choi first. The bastard had answers to give.

“You had a long day, You should get some sleep.” You turn around to see Yoongi leaning on the door, His arms crossed and a blank expression on his face. 

“So did you.” 

“Just get up already, It's getting late.” You do not argue with him and get up and start walking with him. You had no energy whatsoever to have another argument with anyone. 

The men had taken their picks from their room as soon as they had walked inside your house, Nobody said anything. You didn't either. Everyone needed some silence to reflect on what they had gone through that day. You had walked straight to the basement to check the captive rats in your house. 

You and Yoongi just kept walking up the stairs, An inexpressible silence engulfing both of you. Maybe you just didn't need words, You didn't know for him but somehow deep down inside you were glad that you were not alone. “Mind if I stay here tonight?” Your hands paused for a fraction of a second before you silently nodded and the man followed you inside. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I'll just wash up.” You didn't wait for his reply as you went towards your bathroom and the said man made himself comfortable on the right side of the bed.

“Can't sleep?” 

“Yoongi?” You touched his shoulder lightly to which he flinched, You stepped back in surprise and placed your hands in the front where he could see them. He had to be too deep in thought for a light touch to be startling him like that.

“I'm sorry, I'm just….”

“No it's okay, I mean are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I'm okay—-

“Are you really?”

“No, I'm not. Hell, I'm not remotely okay. What the hell happened today?”

“I know its a lot to take in—-

“We loved her, you know? Like really really loved her. I don't think I've loved any other woman as much as I have loved her.” Your heart broke at the way he was speaking about Lily with so much pain. All of you were in the same boat, to be honest, You loved Bangtan, Bangtan loved Lily, Lily loved Borris and she didn't give two fucks about who she hurt in the process.

You were all part of a terrible terrible mess, And none of you could do anything about it. “Trust me, I understand how you all must be feeling right now.” Yoongi was visibly at a loss of words, You could see that. You quickly mumbled a quick sorry and switched off the lights to avoid any kind of awkward atmosphere. You had enough of it already.

“DJ…….”

“Hmm?”

“I am sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“I know we didn't know, And we couldn't help how you felt. But now I truly know how it feels when that person you love is not yours.” A tear rolled down your eyes, Though the scenarios were entirely different, but just him at that moment acknowledging that feeling gave you a different strength. They were not at fault, But just the mere thought of someone deeply understanding how and what you've been through healed something. Maybe you were being selfish, But at that moment you didn't give a damn about anything. 

You stayed in the same position facing away from the wall and Yoongi sat up, Leaning on the headboard. None of you said anything anymore. There was a very scarce chance that you would have gotten any sleep considering the way the day had unfolded. You made a feeble attempt to convince yourself that the lack of sleep came from the day you had, And had nothing to do with the man beside you who was already deeply heartbroken. 

You turned towards Yoongi, unable to resist the temptation. A part of you just wanted to pull him in a hug and hold him tight enough to make his pain disappear. Your heart broke into a million pieces looking at Yoongi staring at the wall with a blank expression on his face. 

A knock on your door brought you out of your thoughts, but Yoongi still remained the same. It looked like he didn't even hear it. You touch his hand lightly but upon receiving no response you let the man be and decide to open the door yourself. 

“Can I sleep here?” You make way for Taehyung, who stills for a second when he sees Yoongi on the bed. He quietly sleeps in the middle and places Yoongi’s hand on his chest. Yoongi looks at the younger male in surprise but does not react. You stand still for a minute looking at the scene in front of you. How you wish you had Jeh here. Just his being there made everything so much better.

“Are you going to sleep or what?” 

“Yeah I was going to—- 

“Then come.”

Taehyung’s hand snaked around your waist and you felt a strange sense of comfort. It was kind of a day where you wouldn't choose to be alone. You closed your eyes waiting for sleep to overcome everything you had been through today. You drifted off to light sleep, You ignored any moment that somehow kept happening beside you, Some sleep was all you wanted.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

You opened your eyes to the biggest surprise you had in some time. You could call it a good surprise but it was still a surprise. You were three people when you had slept but you were now waking up to a total of six of them excluding you in your bed. You did not have even the slightest clue when Jimin, Hobi, Jungkook had joined Yoongi, Taehyung, and you on your bed that was meant for two, a Maximum of three and a half. 

You carefully crept out of the bed, making sure not to make any noise because you had no idea when these men had managed to have some sleep. You walked down the steps making up your mind about if you should have woken those guys or if you should just leave them sleeping. You decide the latter and start thinking of the strongest coffee that you would need to make to help with your day better.

You had already made up your mind about half of the things that you had to do today, Choi was on top of it. You could swear you would make him regret coming behind you. 

You park your car in the private parking in the public administrator's building that Choi’s office was in. You make your way to the private entrance of the building which was specifically reserved for the VIP’s visiting the officials. The offices were quite exquisite considering they had special arrangements for the VIPs who didn't want to be seen when they visited the premises and every one of them had a special access card that let them access the building when they needed to.

You take the elevator and land on the floor Choi was located on, The waiting area was absolutely empty apart from the reception.

“Hi, Do you have an appointment?”

“No, But Mr.Choi knows me. Can you inform him of my presence?” The receptionist gauges your calm and collected face for a second and picks up the receiver. You were in half mind if the bastard would see you upon unannounced notice but you had other ways as well.

“I'm sorry but he is a little occupied at the moment, I can pencil you down for some time this week?” You laughed at the weak attempt he made to avoid you. 

“Is he now? Don't worry, that won't be necessary. He will see me in a minute” You send the picture that you had clicked of Mikhail on your phone and look at the camera with a smirk, You knew he was watching you. Ten seconds later the telephone rings and the puzzled receptionist guides you into his office.

“What the hell do you want, I don't know this man?” You laugh at the way the old man didn't bother giving it a minute, You walk towards the couch he was sitting on with a smile that was calm enough to boil his blood. 

“I didn't ask you anything old man, Why don't you give it a minute?”

“DJ, don't think you can fool me with your antics, I'm not bothered.” You let out a laugh listening to his statement, Really? And yet he had let you see him within ten seconds. Ten seconds was all it took you to break that disgusting piece of shit. 

“Okay let me take this picture to the circle then, Let them decide.” You get up and walk towards the door sure of the thing that this time was not your exit, The bastard had too much on the line.

“Wait—-

“You remember now?” 

“Just come back here.”

“Don't leave out a thing, Or else this man is going to be the reason why you will see your own end.”

“He came here because he wanted revenge because you wiped out his family.” 

“And”

“I gave him an idea that he should take down everything you love before you die, And that includes Bangtan.” Now this rang an alarm in your head, Why? Why would he want to go after Bangtan?

“And how did you get in touch with him?”

“You think only you know the people in the Russian mob? I knew it from the day you bought his father here, I tracked him down and led him here indirectly and when he was here I just helped him figure out the details. Since we had the same motives he readily obliged.” You were stunned by the information that the old man had just blurted out, You were still puzzled by how he had planned to use something that didn't involve him in the first place. 

“Why Bangtan?”

“I wanted them all gone.”

“Why?”

“Senior Jung was considering Namjoon to be the head of the circle.” Now this was something that you had no information about. The thought of Choi doing something like this only to eliminate the Bangtan because one of them was supposed to be the next head. You swore you would show him the consequences of it. 

“You did all this because you wanted that position for—

“My son.” He uttered the words rather feebly, Your expression darkened considerably, How stupid was this man that he had chosen to execute all this, and for what. The circle would anyways not have accepted his son, That brat was hopeless. 

You were furious about everything that had been happening in your life, You wanted to bury Lily deep in thorns, This was all because of her, She put you in a mess that was a literal swamp, the more you tried to get out, the deeper you kept going. 

You saw an expression of fear and confusion on Choi’s face. He didn't anticipate you reaching the root of his conspiracy, And probably wondered how you even managed to do this? 

You kept pacing behind his couch, half in a mind to strangle this bastard and chop his head off. You decided the former is a better option. You quietly picked the tie hanging in his coat stand, while the poor guy kept trying to look back trying to gauge your next move.

“Next time I see you playing such dirty tricks on me or either of the men in Bangtan I will make sure you regret the day you were born.” The old man struggled for a breath as you tightened the tie around his neck. How you wished you could choke the life out of this scum.

“I swear I won't” The old man managed to speak a few words in a matter of few seconds, You threw the tie away in disgust and walked out before you ended up killing him for real.

You walk out of the Choi office in a mixed sea of emotions, Anger, despair, and sadness. Those emotions just kept coming back, They kept getting washed to the shore in intervals leaving you in confusion about the way to deal with them.

You kept driving through the roads aimlessly trying to get a hold of your thoughts, You had invited Bratva and Lily’s ex-husband to Korea, That mere thought of Lily’s face when she would see them gave you another wave of sick satisfaction. Even though you were involved in a business that was not legal, and was deeply rooted in blood and conspiracies you never derived any satisfaction that soothed you to the bones, But ever since you knew about Lily’s intentions and her lies there was an evil satisfaction that coursed through your veins. 

The ringing of your phone brought you back to reality from your self-introspection. Seeing Bratva's name on the screen, You hurriedly park your car on the side and with a deep breath click on the answer.  

“DJ” Bratva’s heavy voice booms through the speakers sending a little shiver down your spine even though there was no reason to. 

“Bratva, How are you?” 

“I am good, But something tells me you are not okay, doc.” You almost feel your tears trying to escape through your eyes but you try to keep them in. At that moment you miss Jeh. You had only him in your life who could just by looking at your face, Could tell something was wrong with you. 

“Doch—

“Yeah Bratva, I am right here. Tell me”

“You tell me DJ, What has happened? Something doesn't feel right.”

“Before I tell you what has happened, You will be coming to Korea right?”

“Of Course, we are, What makes you think that I won't come if you call me? We will be there in a week, Zakharov is a little occupied right now. But we will be there for sure.” You smile at the remark reminiscing how you and Bratva had met versus the fondness in his voice right now.

“That's not a problem Bratva, I don't want to inconvenience you in any way— “That's nonsense, Do you want to tell me what happened?”

You narrate the entire event from the time you got back from Russia to Bratva and he listens to you with a stoic expression. The only way you can make the anger emanating from him is the stiffness of his expression and the clenching of his jaw. 

“That bitch” 

“I swear—

“I swear I will kill her when I lay my hands on her—

“Bratva, There is no joy in killing her, I have better plans for her.”

“You mean?” You chuckle at the way Bratva’s face lights up when you say you have a special plan for her, You always felt that this particular idea of putting someone in deep suffering would be ten times gruesome than killing the person and giving them an easy way out, And it was time that Lily tasted this special expertise of yours.

“Bratva, Let me get back to you for the details but for now know that she is in for a treat.” You hear Bratva’s booming laugh and that breaks a smile on your face.

She was indeed in for a treat.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

You open the door cautiously to your home and are immediately greeted by the loud voices in the living room. You could tell from a distance that all seven of them were present in your home right now. You stop at the door and contemplate for a minute whether you should go inside, But then you drive the idea away, This was your fucking house. 

The confusion was about your equation with the men of Bangtan, This was evolving with the speed of light. One day you were mere acquaintances, The next you were supposedly dating, The next you were friends, and now? That was a question you had no answer to.

The room quietens a bit when you enter the room. The sounds that you had been hearing somewhat gave you a hint that they were being joyous about something. 

“Did I miss something?” 

“DJ you won't believe what has happened.” Taehyung pulls you right into the middle of the room and in extremely close proximity to Namjoon, Who you were sure was the source of the good news because the smile on his face was something different than usual.

You were happy and a little relieved to see the boys joyous, Considering how their hearts had been broken and shattered yesterday.

“What happened?’’

“Well Namjoon is the new head of the circle, And that too starting next week. Can you even believe that?” You were genuinely happy for him, Namjoon truly deserved to be the next head, At Least with him being the decision maker, You could breathe in a sigh of relief some of the old traditions needed to be sent packing. With Namjoon, You were sure he would be doing great.

“Congratulations Namjooon, I am so happy for you.” You see a faint dimple appearing on his cheeks right before you experience another shock, He pulls you right into a hug and mumbles a thank you in your hair, You literally felt every syllable of it.

You lose track of how fast your heart starts beating once the woody scent of his perfume engulfs you in its serenity. You remain in his hold for a second, when you pull yourself out of his hold before you lose yourself.

“It's good to see you guys happy.” The boys visibly tense at your remarks but their expressions remain a little on the softer side. 

“It's not like we have an option.”

“Forget that, I think we should go out for dinner or something, I am still sick from yesterday.”

“And—--

“She doesn't need to know, DJ dress up. We leave in fifteen, Max twenty.”

“Wait—--

“Dress up please” Jimin pushes you towards the stairs and you give up on your effort to ask them about Lily. It was definitely strange the way Namjooon said she didn't need to know.

You stand under the shower thinking about everything again and suddenly an idea lights up your face. Namjoon had one week before he had to begin as the head of the circle, And there was also one week before Bratva and Zakharov arrived in Korea. A party would be the perfect opportunity to introduce the two parties to each other, And it would also be a perfect opportunity to stand by and watch the magic unfold.

You hum a happy song walk out of the shower in your towel and stand in front of the mirror before you can spritz some perfume the door to your room bursts open and Jimin and Jungkook come barreling in, You stand shocked to see the two men rooted to their spots with their eyes open.

You clear your throat and gesture towards the door but it looks like it barely registered with them. 

“Out, The door is right behind you.” You try to speak a little louder, hopeful of getting through to them, And before you know it the guys scramble out of the room. You would have to double-check if you locked your room the next time.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

“I wanted to speak to you guys about something.” The boys pause their talks and divert their attention to you. You glance around before you begin to make sure you have everybody’s attention.

“I want to throw a party–

“For? The way all of us have gotten fooled, For that?” You throw a stern glance at Yoongi who surprisingly stays quiet and motions you to go ahead.

“I want to throw a party for Namjoon. He's the new head of the circle and it's a perfect occasion to celebrate.”

“DJ, That is not really req—-

“I am going to invite Bratva and Zakharov to that party too.”

“I'll help with the guest list.” You are quite surprised with the fact that Yoongi and Hobi said that at once, You feel relieved to have the confirmation, Now you are free to plan the party and Lily’s downfall at the same time.

“I would like to see her face. That lying— Taehyung stops himself from uttering the next word. You could clearly see the pain on his face, But there was very little that you could do.

The dinner passes by in a jiffy, considering the excitement the guys had earlier had died down considerably after you mentioned the party and the special guests. But what had to be done, Had to be done. There was no choice.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

A loud banging on your door jolts you awake, You rush to the door fearing the worst consequences when The six guys excluding Jin come rushing into your room, You stand at the door with your eyes and mouth wide open wondering about the reason for this rushed visit.

“She's here, She here.” Jimin points at the door, And for you, it takes a second to register who she is.

“But why are you hiding?”

“We don't want to face her, Not right now.” The panic in the guy's faces tells you that this is not the time to reason with them. 

“Alright, Let me close the door.” But before you could close the door, Lily comes barging in, and before you could say anything she pulls you in for a hug.

“I have been so worried about you, Where were you, DJ? I was so worried they did something with you.” The grip that she had been tightening on you was suffocating you to no end, Her lies just didn't seem to end.

“She's fine, Don't worry.” Lily looked at Hobi with a shocked expression, It was evident that she didn't expect this reaction out of him. You clear your throat at the intervention and move behind Hobi to keep a safe distance from her. You could totally understand why the boys were running away from her, Only you knew how you were resisting the urge to strangle her right there.

“I am fine Lily, Don't worry. They didn't do anything to me. In fact, I was worried about you.”

You could see an uncomfortable expression surfacing on Lily's face but she hides it like a pro. You look at the guys who keep making weird attempts to avoid her by looking everywhere in the room except Lily herself. 

“Where were you all?”

“We, We have been a little busy.” 

“Yeah, He's right. We were busy, In fact very busy.” Taehyung tries to make it sound as if what he is saying is super important but his attempts just go in vain. The poor guy couldn't lie to save his life.

“Tae, are you trying to lie to me?” 

“Actually they're all really worried about us.” You quickly jump in to save Taehyung and the only way you could do that was by turning the tables.

“Us?”

“We are—?” You throw a stern look at Namjoon, Which ends up working on Yoongi too. You could see he was about to say something. 

“Yeah, So what I was saying was, You know how you were kidnapped? I mean both of us were kidnapped? They're wondering who did it, you know? And what could be the intention behind the kidnapping? “ You feel the same satisfaction when you feel Lily tensing after every question, It has definitely worked.

“You don't need to worry you guys, I am fine. Absolutely fine.” Lily tries stepping back to make an exit, But you step right behind her and block her way. You were not done with her yet.

“Do you remember anything from that day Lily?” You feel Lily tensing up even more, The fun is about to begin.

“I—---

“Try to remember Lily, The guys are really worried about you–

“And you.” 

“Sorry?”

“We were worried about you both, I meant.”

“So Lily, Babe, do you remember anything at all? Try to remember.” Jungkoook steals Lily from you places a hand on her shoulder and begins walking to the other guys. Turn by turn Lily passed around like a little doll, And you could see the way she was feeling deeply uncomfortable. A few minutes into the sweet interrogation, She would be sure to sweat.

“Namjoon, Baby I am not feeling too well. Can you take me home?”

“Actually baby, Jimin and Taehyung will take you home. I have a meeting.” 

“Hyung—

“Take Jungkook with you.”

“Hyung,” It was Jungkook's turn to whine, Lily looked at them with a very confused expression. This probably was the first time when the guys must have been avoiding taking her home. Generally from what you saw, It was actually the opposite.

“Go please.” Namjoons stern voice drives the four of them out of the room in a jiffy, You breathe a sigh of relief. The stress that these few minutes had brought was immense. 

“Close the door please.” 

“Sure” You close the door with a confused expression, "They were going to be sleeping here too?

“That's my side, Pick somewhere else.” The way Yoongi pushed Hobi, brought a smile on both your and Namjoon's faces. 

“I will sleep here, I mean Sit here.” Namjoon points towards the sofa on your right and you nod in a yes. You take your place on the bed and the rest of them settle on the bed. 

“Where’s Jin?” You ask, Remembering that you had not seen him after dinner.

“He's gone for a drive, He ran away the minute he saw Lily coming. You laugh the way Hobi scowls, You turn off the lights, and the minute your head hits the pillow you feel sleep taking over you in a minute. 

You wake up with some light ruffling on the side, You turn on the lights to see Jin trying to make some space on the bed, The way he was mumbling something clearly indicated that he was drunk. There were multiple bedrooms in the house and all these men could find was your room.

“Jin–

Your eyes widen when Jin stumbles to your side and kisses the top of your head. Good night, It takes him a few stumbles to reach back to the spot he made for himself. He sleeps on his stomach and passes out faster than a second.

You take a look at Namjoon who was fast asleep, But in an awkward position. You quickly bring the spare pillow adjust his head and decide to go back to sleep. It was indeed a long night.

You had enough time for planning a party, You started with the major things by scheduling details for Bratva’s travel. They had agreed to be in Korea the following week. The guys keep staying at your place and absolutely refuse to return to their homes. Lily without a doubt kept herself occupied, Your guess was probably she was trying to figure out the whereabouts of her boyfriend.

The boys kept waiting for the day when Lily and the special guests would arrive. You kept yourself busy with your work, Party arrangements, and some last-minute deliveries. 

The guys kept hovering around you for one reason or the other, From receiving zero attention from them to having their attention on yourself was overwhelming, to say the least, And you definitely had a problem with the fact that the attention doubled in front of Lily, It sometimes looked like they were doing it on purpose. But you avoided saying anything to them because given what was going on from the past couple of days, You didn't want to create any more drama. 

You tried keeping yourself as away as you could from the cold war that was happening, Lily sometimes tried to stay over and it would end up with everyone in your room.

You decided to ignore everything for the time being, Your sole focus was making the party a huge hit, One for establishing a good image for Namjoon, And mainly was the grand reveal.

The only good thing that kept you sane was your calls with Marco and Jeh. Though Jeh was still unconscious you still made it a point to talk to him at least thrice a day. Marco made sure he let you vent your heart out, You had no idea how you could ever thank god for these two. 

While it was long back that Marco and Jeh had been in Malaga, all of that felt like it was yesterday.

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

You walked around the hall greeting and speaking to guests with Namjoon, You had felt weird that Namjoon had asked you to be at his side at all times. You didn't say anything considering that it was a big day for him today. 

Lily kept greeting the other guests alone, you were sure it might have raised eyebrows but that was not something you were going to bother yourself with. You kept looking at your phone to check if Bratva and Zakharov had landed, You received a text message indicating that they had arrived safely, You felt your nerves starting to explode, The excitement, anxiety, and stress of everything had you gulping down flutes of champagne.

“You okay?” Namjoon asked as you finished your flute, You looked at him once and once at the door. There still wasn't any sign of the arrival of the guests.

“It's just the nerves.”

“Don't worry everything will be fine.” Namjoon holds your hand in a tight grip and that somewhat soothes the anxiety inside you.

You keep greeting the guests as they come, and when the beep sounds on your phone you breathe a sigh of relief, Bratva and Zakharov were here, And so were Mikhail and Borris. You had gotten both of them intentionally there, That was a twist you decided to throw in at the last minute. This was going to be epic.

Mikhail was obviously still in bad shape but you had made sure that he had been accommodated well in a wheelchair, And he was kept conscious deliberately to see how bad he had failed.

You kept doing rounds and once you were sure that all the invited people had arrived, You checked your phone for the latest update, And you saw a message from Jin. He had already taken Bratva and Zakharov with them backstage, Mikhail and Borris would be making a grand appearance with them.

The guys made sure Lily was with them once Bratva arrived, And turn by turn the guys wished you and Namjoon good luck.

You walk with Namjoon on the stage and take the mic to greet everyone, You and Namjoon keep arguing over who would introduce the special guests, But Namjoon ends up winning because apparently his vote came with seven other votes that refused to listen to anything. 

You saw the crowd waiting with a smile, It was finally happening. The nerves had calmed down considerably and you were more than okay to witness the spectacle.

“Hello Everyone! Thank You so much for attending today’s party, I am sure each one of you knows how much it means to us. It sure is a big day for Namjoon, Who is about to begin a wonderful tenure as the head of our circle. It is my greatest pleasure to be greeting you all and also host this special occasion. “ you ended the short note with a formal address to the crowd. You handed the mic to Namjoon who thanked everyone who attended the party. He held your hand when he was about to finish his speech, Indicating it was time.

“Now Ladies And Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to our very special guests who have arrived here from Russia specially on our invitation. Please give it up for our very dear Bratva and Vladimir Zakharov and their friends Mikhail and Borris.” 

The color drained from Lily’s face visibly and in a fraction of a second, you saw fear flashing on her face. You and Namjoon walked down from the dice, Yoongi and Hobi made sure that there was no way Lily escaped from their grip, Even though she tried hard to make excuses they didn't budge saying they had to introduce her to the special guests.

“Bratva, this is the other members of Bangtan, This is Yoongi, Taehyung, Hobi, Jimin, Jungkook, Jin and this is the most special member of the group, Lily.” The guys one by one exchanged pleasantries with Bratva and Zakharov, While Lily tried to maintain her composure the sweat on her forehead and the constant effort to free her hand from Yoongi said otherwise. Her expression changed drastically after Zakharov turned to her and took her other hand to place a kiss on the back of her hand.

“Hello Ms.Lily, Or should I say My wife?”

[muniimyg]

𐙚₊˚⊹ ceo!hoseok ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

series m.list // taglist

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo @ddanasjk @luvismenu @remgeolli @parapiop7 @lil0u0 @crazyovayou @mggv97 @thvgukk @rpwprpwprpwprw

//

it never occurred to you that your boss is terrifying.

sure, you’re well aware of his mood swings and the endless gossip that circulates around the company, but it never feels personal to you. to be fair... you’re never the target of his outbursts.

in truth, you don’t work closely enough with him to get caught in the crossfire. but if you ever do slip, you know it’ll be brutal.

you aren’t unnoticeable to him either.

jung hoseok, your cold-hearted, demon-like boss, hasn’t given you a reason to be scared yet. you learned quickly how to navigate him after only a few months at the company. to avoid him on tuesdays because, for some reason, he’s especially grumpy. no clue why, but he just is. maybe it’s because it’s too early for dinner and too late for lunch, or maybe he just hates feeling stuck. either way, you know his habits and manage to stay in his good graces.

as the head designer of his father’s company, hoseok’s creativity has to flow constantly. his father never steps foot in the office, but his presence is still felt through the intense pressure hoseok places on himself. despite his infamous temperament, no one can say jung hoseok doesn’t meet expectations. in fact, he exceeds them every time, thanks to his relentless work ethic.

the devil works hard, but jung hoseok works harder.

“that will be all for today. you’re all dismissed.”

everyone starts gathering their belongings. just as you and your team head for the door, hoseok calls out, “oh... except for ___ and kim taehyung. please stay behind for a moment.”

taehyung, your assistant, shoots you a look.

you furrow your brows in confusion. once everyone else leaves, you both stand in front of hoseok’s desk.

“i’m thinking of opening up an internship program here. what do you think?” hoseok asks.

you nod. “it sounds like a great opportunity for those who aspire to be part of the fashion industry. especially with jung co., i’m sure we’ll have a lot of applicants.”

“exactly my thoughts, ___,” hoseok replies, smiling slightly. “which is why i like you.”

taehyung huffs, and you roll your eyes before saying, “thank you, mr. jung.”

“here’s the thing,” hoseok continues, “i trust you, ___. as head of hr, you’ll be in charge of filtering the applicants—portfolio reviews, phone interviews, and in-person interviews. taehyung can assist you, but i’m requiring you to take the lead on this.”

“no problem at all,” you assure him. “when do you want us to start?”

hoseok chuckles. “now. i’ve already had my secretary draft some advertisements and an application page. finalize them and get them live by nine tonight.”

“tonight?” taehyung blurts out, “but it’s my girlfriend’s birthday, and ___ was supposed to come—”

“no invite?” hoseok teases.

taehyung almost chokes.

hoseok holds his stare before finally blinking. “tonight. before nine,” he repeats. “regards to the celebrant.” and with that, he excuses himself, leaving you and taehyung stunned.

“tonight?” taehyung panics. “is he serious? his secretaries are always unprepared! whatever draft we get is probably just a blank page. i’m doomed. jennie's going to kill me.”

“she won't,” you tell him, sighing. “i’ll take care of it. go to her birthday. consider it my birthday gift to her.”

“really?” taehyung looks at you with wide eyes. “you sure?”

“yes. boyfriends should be there for their girlfriends birthday.”

taehyung doesn’t need to be told twice. “you’re the best, ___. i owe you big time.”

at 4 pm, taehyung bolts out the door.

by 8:49 pm, the office is mostly empty. only a few colleagues remain in a meeting room, and the custodian walks down the hall, pushing a cart. outside, the sky is dark and cloudy. rain looks like it’s about to fall any minute now.

“taehyung really left you?” hoseok’s voice suddenly cuts through the quiet as he steps into your small glass office.

you shrug, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “birthdays are special, mr. jung.”

“you know what else is special?” he asks, leaning against the doorframe.

“what?”

“hiring interns.”

you roll your eyes, and hoseok chuckles at your reaction.

“i’m almost done,” you tell him, finishing up the last few details on the application page. “i’ll send it to you in a minute.”

“how are you getting home, ___?” hoseok asks after a brief pause.

“i’ll take the bus,” you reply, still focused on your screen. “i was supposed to go to the birthday party, but i’m tired now.”

“it’s raining,” he points out. “do you have an umbrella?”

“the bus stop has a cover,” you say casually, not looking up.

“i could drive you home,” hoseok offers. “i feel bad that you’re here all alone. i thought you knew i was kidding earlier.”

“jokes usually start with ‘knock knock,’” you tease, finally glancing at him. “and they don’t usually come from scary bosses.”

“you think i’m scary?”

“see,” you smile, “now you’re funny.”

he gives a soft laugh, shaking his head. “you’re something else.”

just then, his phone buzzes. hoseok glances at it before pushing himself off the doorframe. “i have to go. i have dinner plans with my girlfriend.”

you raise an eyebrow, trying to hide the surprise in your voice. “girlfriend?”

he smirks, walking over to your desk and leaning down slightly. “yeah, she’s been waiting on me all day. good thing she’s too busy saving my ass at work to notice.”

it takes you a second, but when it hits, you roll your eyes.

“oh, shut up.”

he laughs, his smirk growing wider. “come on, i’ll drive you home. wouldn’t want my girlfriend to be mad at me twice today.”

as he reaches for your bag, he leans in and kisses you softly. the surprise catches you off guard. with a playful grin, he takes your bag and wraps his arm around your waist as you both walk out of the office.

“you know,” you start, half-jokingly scolding him, “you really should have thought twice about all the work you dumped on me tonight.”

“what can i say?” he replies, chuckling. “i’m a mean boss but a great boyfriend.”

"dump more work on me and i'll dump you."

hoseok tightens his lips and sighs. "no, don't do that... i'm sorry, babe. i'll be nicer the next time i ask you to do your job."

with that, you hit his chest. he laughs and pulls you close. together, you two make your way to his car where he opens the door and drives you home.

hoseok stays the night, over the moon to wake up and spend a lazy saturday with you.

come monday, he surprises you with a team of interns you have to interview.

hoseok [12:09pm]: i'm sorry babe hoseok [12:09pm]: my dad approved them all for an int,, i couldn't do shit abt it hoseok [12:11pm]: pls don't dump me hoseok [12:15pm]: i'm ordering ur fave lunch yn [12:17pm]: i'm dumping u after i clock out tn hoseok [12:19pm]: pls babe. no thank u :(

[luvismenu]

꩜ .ᐟ Ot7 ♡ bts as dads

- when your daughter texts them but they think it's you -

m.list

pt.1, pt.2

a/n: it's fictional guys, I made this for fun, don't come @ me for making the child text like that 😭

[bangtanfanfiction]

support system → jhs (M)

Based on Hobi’s appearance at the 2022 MAMA awards bcs I’m missing him. 

M.List

♢ Pairing: Idol!Hoseok x Idol female!Reader

♢ Word count: 4.6k

♢ Genre: Idol AU, fluff, smut, comfort, established relationship     - Warnings: swearing, male oral sex, sub/dom tones, dirty talk 

⌲ Description: You’re the support system Hoseok needs in times of uncertainty without his members. And you make sure he knows it. 

not proof read. 

Hoseok felt out of place. 

He was alone where he would usually be surrounded by his six members, each with their own ways of comforting him and making it more bearable, and it was an awkward and anxious feeling alone. The only helpful part was that he wasn’t the only solo artist attending and had someone familiar to speak to.  

But other than being the 5%, the rest were all the hottest and youngest groups to grace the current K-pop industry. And where he knew most of them by name out of courtesy, it didn’t go any further than that. 

As his stomach continued to flutter, there was a moment he thought he would need to get off the stage and just take a moment to himself until he saw his saving grace. You. 

You were walking up the steps to the seating area, your tight sitting and sparkling dress with the exposed leg drawing all the attention as you were oblivious to it, concentrating on talking to a staff member explaining the seating plan as you nodded along. 

His eyes dragged down your body slowly and appreciatively, grateful for the glasses hiding his suddenly impure thoughts. 

There was no doubt you were beautiful. You always were to him. But it was the oozing confidence that you owned in your own skin. Hoseok met female idols on a daily, it came with the job, and as beautiful as all of them were with how the standards were set, you were a shining diamond among them all. 

You had always been outspoken and fearless against the restrictions of a patriarchal and man-dominated culture such as South Korea. You refused to bow down to the sneers of the general public when it came to your state of dress, body image, and the color of your natural skin without being assisted by whitening products. 

His butterflies calmed down as he straightened out his blazer and stood up, making his way surely towards you, ignoring the piercing stares of curiosity from his fellow idols, as they tried to act nonchalantly. 

It was adorable, Hoseok thought. Many of them were nearly ten years his junior either in age or as new rookies, and were rigidly reminded about the strict rules about idols of the different sex interacting. And here he was showcasing the absolute opposite with no shits to give to the higher-ups.

As if they could touch him anyway. 

Your fleeting, yet bright smile met his eyes in acknowledgment as he stopped beside you, hand finding its natural place low on your back as you turned your attention back to the conversation and he waited patiently. 

“Hey,” you finally turned to him, eyes crinkling in the corners as your attention was solely on him. 

“Hey,” Hoseok tried his best to not shut the rest of the world out as he looked down. “You look breathtaking.”

The way your nose scrunched up was the only indication you gave away of your shyness at the compliment. 

Wordlessly he led you towards the couch, as you greeted the rest of the artists already seated with polite bows along the way. With Hoseok seated on the end, you settled down beside him, thighs pressing against each other as you crossed your legs. 

His arm settled on the back of the hardened seat, close enough for his hand to brush against your bare skin on purpose. A habit he did often to simply touch you without crossing the line in public. 

You leaned into his side without fear nor shame, with your relationship public for quite a while now despite appearances together being rare, Hoseok had never been shy to showcase his love for you on Instagram with cute daily stories of your dates and dedicated posts of candid photos. 

“Babe.”

“Hm?” Hoseok’s hum was distracted as your smirk widened, eyes never straying away from watching the staff prepare last-minute details before the show started. 

“Stop staring at my boobs, there are minors here,” your words were only heard by the two of you. 

The way he huffed out a small laugh confirmed your suspicions. He couldn’t help the fact that your dress gave your bosom a generous cleavage which he had full advantage of admiring from his taller perspective with you leaning against him. 

“Minors who are old enough to understand the sight of a man admiring his significant other,” he shrugged shamelessly. “It’s not like I’m doing anything illegal.”

With those words, he took your hand in his own and lifted it to press a quick kiss against the back of it as proof. As much as you wanted to, there was no way you were able to ignore the gasps and shrieks of the audience that was watching the artist section with rapid attention. All you could do was pretend not to notice as you gave him a mock glare and light reprimanded slap against his chest. 

“You own no fear, Jung Hoseok,” you shook your head. 

“Says Miss Fuck-The-Patriarchy.”

The proud tug of your lips was poorly hidden as both of you shared a small laugh at the memories of one of your most well-known quotes from a live stream. 

“Hmm. They had it coming,” was your nonchalant answer. “When’s your performance scheduled for again?” 

“Near the end.”

“Biggest for last, huh.”

His nudge against your side made you both chuckle to yourselves. It was always your favorite pastime to tease him and the other members of their superstar status. You had done it when they first debuted in America when it still seemed like a farfetched joke. Now it had become a reality.

You had never expected anything to come out of your long-time friendship with each other. But then one day it just did. Neither of you had planned or initiated feelings first. It just naturally blossomed into something more and was readily accepted during your usual night walks together to escape the crazy life of entertainment. 

Both of you couldn’t be happier if you asked.

Fame and public scrutiny were already tiring to begin with. But with each other, there was understanding for things normal people might not have understood. So there was a comfort in being in the same industry together and not getting mad about the crazy work hours each had to endure.

“It feels weird,” Hoseok’s low mutter admitted to you as he glanced around.

“It does.” You easily agreed, a comforting hand placed on his thigh. “It’s a new era.”

“Who would have thought?” He chuckled, but you heard the sad bitterness in it. “It seemed like forever away not long ago.”

You knew his feelings didn’t come from jealousy or malicious intent. With Jin’s upcoming enlistment only days away and each of the members preparing for their own in different ways, Hoseok had felt like it was a certain goodbye. To you and his family and friends. 

You silently supported him through it. Because despite it all, this was a journey you couldn’t help him with, only being by his side whenever he needed you to. 

This is also why you made sure to attend all the same events together for extra measure. 

“At least we bring the fun,” Your lips tug up into a slight smirk.

“You mean the scandal?” He returned the look with a tilt of his brow.

“How can it be a scandal if everyone already knows, my love?” You stated, hand coming up to scrape a nail teasingly down his jaw before patting his chest as you felt him give a shiver.

“It might turn into one if you don’t stop teasing me,” He mutters as you giggle.

“Lighten up, okay?” You finally said, this time a genuine softness to your words to put him at ease. It worked, his tense shoulders easing a bit against you.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bring down the mood today. I guess it’s just weird without the others here.”

“I get it,” Smiling you treaded your fingers through his, resting it on his lap. “They’re your family.”

“So are you.”

Although your heart swelled at his declaration, you only squeezed his hand in gratitude. “But I haven’t been with you since the beginning. That’s a deep bond you can never change.”

Hoseok sighed, nodding. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

With that, his need for intimacy and comforting touches clearly rose as the arm resting behind your shoulders tightened, pulling you even closer to him if possible. A little more and you would end up on his lap. Not that you doubted he would care. 

All the boys had come to a point in their career where they longer gave a fuck about what the public had to say about them. Fans and company included. Some of them were still strict on the privacy of their love lives, but Hoseok had caved in quite early on - his excuse being the need to show you off for everyone without shame. 

How could one say no after that?

It wasn’t until after his performance that you noticed his tension returned gradually, and you were well aware of why. The biggest awards were swept clean by BTS, with two of them being for just Hoseok himself. 

Award after award, you watched with a grin as he thanked the audience, fans, company and fellow artists for all the support. You both thought the last of it with the Artist of Year award usually closing up the show, but then were surprised yet again with a new award made just for your favorite seven boys. 

Your keen eyes noticed quickly during the last Daesang introduction that your boyfriend was getting emotional, or at least feeling the immense pressure of their status as BTS. 

That was why the moment BTS was called up as expected, you watched proudly as Hoseok took a second in his seat to take it all in before standing up. 

His eyes flickered to yours and before he chickened out from all the attention, he pulled you into an intimate hug in front of everyone, hands low on your waist as your own wrapped themselves around his neck for a short, loving moment. At the last moment, he leaned in to place a peck on the corner of your mouth before stepping away towards the main stage. 

Several eyes had widened, some squeals as well as hollers of encouragement from the younger artists. 

You continued to act as if nothing happened, trying to at least. But the flush that was spreading across your face was hardly hidden from anyone who paid attention. 

You thought that was the end of any attention on you. 

“I want to thank one more person.” 

You felt the stares burning into your skin, cameras turning as the blush came anew. 

“Where BTS and ARMY have been my mountain of support, this person has been my anchor. The one to keep me afloat whenever I felt like drowning. The one to love and support me through all my anger, stress, and sadness. But also the one to always keep me on my toes.” He added the last one with a teasing tilt as light laughter rang out. 

Your eyes were watering. Doing your damn best to keep the waterfall back as your listened to his heartfelt devotion to you. 

“Y/N, some might call us young and stupid no matter how old we are. But I know for certain you are the one for me, you have been since day 1. I love you so much, I don’t even have the right words to tell you right now. Thank you.”

Your face showed up on camera just as you blew a kiss with your hands in his direction, cheeks slightly blotchy and watering eyes, mouthing a soundless ‘I Love You’ as his grin widened. 

It felt like forever before you found yourself in Hoseok’s arms again, this behind the stage as both of you were ushered away while the encore was ongoing. You nearly bowled him over in your haste to simply touch him as he stumbled back a step before balancing himself with a low chuckle. 

“I love you so much, baby,” Your whisper was croaking with emotion just as he caught your lips into a slow, loving caress. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.”

+

“Baby, are you hungry?” Hoseok welcomed the feeling of pure relief as he took off all his accessories and the heavy leather coat, organizing them carefully on the table and hanging up the clothing on a hanger to give it back to the styling team tomorrow. 

He had noticed your quick retreat into the bathroom, probably to scrub away all the makeup and grime which he knew was your favorite part to the end of a long day such as these.

“I can order some room service if you want to,” He continued talking, unbuckling his belt while carefully slipping off his designer shoes. “Maybe some pasta or dessert? I’m craving something sweet after that performance.”

“Yeah, I could do with some dessert.” Your reply came softly from behind him, although lacking the fervor you usually had when he suggested to get some sweets late at night.  

“Ugh, thank god, I think my body needs some sugar after today,” Hoseok laughed, turning around only to choke on it as he coughed.

Fuck. 

Shit. He must be in heaven. Or hell. 

Because you were looking like you were sent from the heavens to torture him.

A black lacy ensemble of lingerie encasing your curves must have been laced with the devil’s poison itself with how transfixed he was taking it all in.

A lace bralette softly covering your chest with a matching thong and garter belt encasing your waist. The stockings running up your legs and strapped firmly by your thighs making his throat dry as he took in the same heels you still wore from earlier. 

You were a wet dream come true. 

And you damn well knew it with the smirk on your face as you stepped towards him. “Cat got your tongue, baby?” 

“What?”

The smirk widened at his nonsense answer. His eyes never strayed from your body as he tried to imprint the image in his brain.

You were right in front of him now, fingers playing with the lapels of his now unbuttoned shirt and hanging loosely down his frame, the belt still hanging on his hips. 

“I’m still in the mood for some dessert, aren’t you?” 

“Whatever you say, baby,” His dazed muttering made you let out an airy laugh, giving him one firm push as he stumbled back a step only to meet the edge of the bed and stumbling down, elbows pushing him up to never lose sight of you. 

"Aren’t you gonna ask me what kind of dessert?” You damn well near purred, slowly creeping your way up along his body, hand teasing his expanse of exposed skin raising goosebumps along the way until your face was hovering inches above his.

“What kind of dessert?” He murmured, dark brown eyes locking with your own, flickering down to your lips. 

“My favorite kind.” 

With that you pressed a firm yet teasing kiss against his lips, leaving him to chase after you as you put a stern hand on his shoulder to push him back down before stepping off the bed and down on your knees between his spread legs. 

He had already done half the job by unbuckling the belt. Distracting him with the press of your lips against the soft surface of his stomach, his abs tensed along with the deep breaths he took before relaxing. 

Hoseok was already half hard as you palmed him, his silent groan vibrating through his whole body before pulling down his underwear for enough access to his whole cock. 

Without hesitation you started at the base, wrapping your hand around his length and rubbing him firmly as he sighed above you, fingers curling into fists by his sides. 

Keeping an eye on his face, you watched while leaning in, sucking the tip of his cock into your mouth, tongue swirling against the slit as Hoseok’s head fell back with a soft moan. Slim, large hands automatically found leverage on your head as you took him deeper, gently moving up and down as your own hands moved to palm his balls - causing his soft moans to turn into guttural groans, veins in his neck straining. 

Feeling the tenseness of his whole body you pulled away, as his eyes snapped open, neck craning to look at you, protest clear in his mouth. 

“Relax, baby” You grinned at him. “This is my gift for you, so enjoy it.”

“You’re gonna be death of me.” Hoseok huffed out a laugh, voice slightly choked as your hand never stopped moving on his length. 

“Wait,” his voice was deliciously hoarse, a darker rumble that went straight down to your own throbbing pussy. You watched fondly as he stretched backward to grab the closest hotel pillow and handed it to you. 

He had barely settled back on the bed before you gripped him tighter, tongue already making a path down his veins and swallowing him deeper without preparation. 

Hoseok nearly lurched up, fingers digging into your scalp with a hissed curse.  

“Jesus Fuck, Y/N.” His moan of your name did ridiculous to your body, eagerness to please your hardworking boyfriend increasing until his knees were shaking. 

Bobbing your head, you sucked enthusiastically, following the motions of his own hands whether he noticed it or not.

Hoseok had somehow managed to push himself up into a sitting position, the need to watch you closer as you pleased him controlling his body. 

Your intentions had been obvious to him early on. You wanted to spoil him to completion, but at the same time torturing his senses through the journey - just because he knew you could. He had learned fairly quick in the relationship that you had a thing for seeing him come apart beneath your touch, controlling his pleasure and seeing him beg you to let him come. 

His half-lidded gaze never left the perfect-picture vision of your pretty pink lips around his cock, swollen and drool dribbling down the corner of your mouth as you moaned softly to his harsh pants, eyes fluttering shut. The vibrations of it sent tingles down his legs and spine, coaxing another moan from him. 

“You’re so fucking good, baby.” Hoseok managed to breathe out. Praise only spurring you on if that was possible. 

The love of his life was sucking his cock like it was the best damn lollipop in town, and the sight of it would always be one of the most arousing scenes he would ever see. 

He was pretty certain he could die in this position without regrets. 

“That’s it.” Murmuring he eased his hold on your hair, the other supporting him on the bed, fingers curling into the sheet as he watched you spellbound. 

Shit, you were loving it between his legs. Sounding and looking like Hoseok was already pounding your brains out. He was basically yours to own at the moment.  

“Spell your fucking name on it.”

Your broken moans at his words caused a knowing smirk to play at his lips for a single moment until he nearly fell apart again the very next, eyes falling shut at the mindblowing sensations your tongue could give him. 

You hummed, deep in your throat, drawing the most panth-worthy moans from Hoseok’s lips, his usual decorum of trying to keep it down evaporating. His moans were some of your favorite sounds in the world - going from soft high pitches whenever he got close before falling back down to the low tones as he tried to catch his breath. 

His thighs tensed, fingers gripping the strands of your hair nearly frighteningly tight with a mutter. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m-I’m gonna cum–”

Hoseok knew you had heard him. His moans turned desperate, breaking up into near frantic stutters as he got closer to his high, just for you to pull back slowly with a pop - a knowing, almost vindictive smile on your face. 

“Baby!” If you didn’t know better, you would almost say that was a sob coming from him as you left him high and dry. 

Your cunt was throbbing almost painfully at this point, craving any touch for relief, but you held it back for favoring your boyfriend’s pleasure. 

“Patience, my love,” You murmured as your rose up, gently pushing him back down on the bed as you pulled off his underwear and pants off, kicking them to the side, leaving only the open shirt on his otherwise sweating, naked body. 

And what a glorious body that was. 

Lean and tan with smooth expanses of skin you wanted to lick all over, the lines of a dancer’s firm muscles lining every part of him. 

Fuck, Jung Hoseok was fucking delicious, and all yours. 

Making sure that he was watching, you slipped off the thong down your legs, watching as his throat bobbed in anticipation. You left the bralette on and the strategically worn garter and stockings to not be in the way of your underwear. 

Easily taking off your heels too, you crawled over his body on all fours, settling just on his slim hips and giving a teasing roll of your own, his bare cock sliding against the evident arousal of your own as he gave a breathy curse. 

“You’re so wet, baby,” Hoseok said almost fascinated, despite your years together. And he supposed he wasn’t wrong. You were going a bit wild tonight compared to the usual sex the two of you had. 

“All because of you,” Leaning forward again, you kissed him softly, but Hoseok was done playing nice and giving into your demands.

His hand curled around the back of your neck, forcing you completely down against his chest, bodies lining up against each other, mouth licking into your own harshly, catching your breath with a sigh. 

Your hips had a mind of their own at this point, slowly grinding against his hard cock, covering his length with your wetness as Hoseok moaned, the sound caught by your lips as you gave a firmer roll. 

Wordlessly reaching down between your bodies, you gripped his length in your hand lining him up and slowly pushed down with a breathy moan, his fingers digging into your hips as you both shuddered when he bottomed out. His whole body trembled in near relief, and you knew he wasn’t going to last long with the amount of teasing you had already put him through. 

“Fuuuuck…”

Your nerves felt like they were on fire. Every single movement sending zips of bliss through you as you breathed in deeply to take control of your sanity. With a loving smile, you firmly placed both hands on Hoseok’s chest for support before lifting your hips only to slam them down with a shuddering moan. 

Hoseok was sure he was going to come within the next five seconds with the way you were moving your hips above him, obviously trying your damn best to send him into oblivion. 

The sound of your wet cunt was almost obnoxious, squelching for every single lift and drop of your thighs. Through his pleasure glazed haze, he could see the inside of your delicious thighs glistening with the evidence. 

He thought he already knew of the best feelings in the world; the adrenalin before getting on stage, hearing his fans scream his name or sing to their songs as he basked in their cheers. 

But his personal, and secret favorite would always be the complete bliss that spread through his entire body from your pussy clenching down on him.    

You were getting tired, Hoseok noticed. Your rhythm slowing and pleasure tenfolding as you started to grind down with airy moans, trying to find relief for your throbbing clit. 

Despite being rock hard and ready to burst, he couldn’t help but coo at you as he pulled you back down against his chest. “Is my princess getting tired?”

You whimpered, fingers traveling up to grip his hair, your grinding starting to loose its control. 

Tracing a hand down your sweating back, he gripped your ass with a rough tug, pushing his cock further against your walls as your breath hitched. 

“What do you want, baby?” He whispered into your ear, giving it a nip and soothing it with his tongue. “Use your words, princess.”

“Please fuck me, Hoseok,” It was your turn to beg now. “I need you to fuck me. Make me cum on your cock, please.”

Just your words were ready to end him. 

With an almost chaste kiss against your temple, an opposite action to what the two of you were doing, he granted your wish. Changing his position, he put both feet on the bed for support and then he truly fucked you. 

Nearly pistoning upwards to meet your shallow thrusts, with your high pitched moans and nails raking down his arms spurring him on like a madman chasing after gold. 

His moans mixed with your own, both craving release at this point, your skin slapping against each other without abandon. With half a mind, Hoseok managed to push his hand between your sweat slicked bodies, long fingers finding your soft, swollen clit as he circled the sensitive nub. 

You came with a silent scream, mouth open and body tensing like a log, the pleasure zipping through you like fucking lightning, toes curling as your pussy clenched down so hard, he followed you shortly with a muffled groan against the curve of your neck. 

His fingers didn’t stop, only slowing down and gently guiding you through your high. 

Just as the sensitivity was starting to kick in, his cock still firmly nestled inside you throughly emptied, you whined at him. 

“Too much,” Your voice was a hoarse whimper, trying to swat at his still moving hand. 

But his next stern words grunted out, made your throat dry. 

“I’m not done with you yet.”

“I-I can’t,” You whispered, but voice shaking in anticipation.

“Yes, you can. One more, sweetheart. Just for me.”

“Baby, I-” 

Whatever it was you wanted to say cut off with a sob as his fingers sped back up from their gentleness, pressing down more firmly on your clit as your hold on him turned damn near painful.

“Come on, just one more.”

What was supposed to be him falling apart had now turned - Hoseok having you at his mercy as his movements didn’t stop. 

Despite your begging, you could feel it again. That addicting pleasure building within you as your resistance turned into compliance, hips starting to move again, grinding against his touch. Your orgasm came slowly this time around, heat coating your senses like a caress - with you almost sobbing softly as your high came, body trembling and twitching as his fingers finally stopped. 

Neither knew how many minutes you simply lay in each others arms in silence. Soaking each other in, his soft cock still inside you as your skin cooled down to the point of goosebumps as the air was no longer stuffy. 

“We need to shower,” Hoseok whispered gently, hands slowly caressing up and down your spine lovingly. 

“Just a little longer…”

Chuckling at your drowsiness, you managed to lift your head up from his shoulder only to grin. “I love you.”

His eyes were sparkling. “I love you too.”

This has been in the drafts since last year. So yeah. 

[mae-gi-writes]

It’s (just so) awkward | jungkook (bts) - part four

No way. We’re too different and he’s so—so black and white. A straight-up yes-or-no kind of guy. And I’m not.”

PREVIOUS PART | FINAL | MASTERLIST

-----

His lips brushed against yours with such gentleness that your insides quivered, your entire body stilling as you felt his warmth envelope you, tease you, taunt you. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before and to say that you were hooked was an understatement.

Your lips curved into his ever so slightly, kissing back with the shyness of a newborn fawn, and a sound so rough and guttural left Jungkook’s throat.

One hand sliding around your waist and the other cradling the back of your jaw, he kissed you over and over again, chaste kiss after chaste kiss after chaste kiss that made your head spin and your insides melt into Jungkook goo. Fireworks exploded behind your lids as they fluttered closed and your body pressed to his on instinct, as though he was the only lifeline you needed.

He sighed and tilted his head to kiss you deeper. You tried to respond as best as you could, one of your hands going up to fist in his dark locks. He smelt heavenly, and as he pulled you closer you felt all of him; firm ridges and rough outlines and smooth skin. That only made you kiss him a little harder, causing another small groan to leave his mouth.

“Jungkook,” your murmur was raspy, the words enough to cause reality to settle in your stomach.

You shoved him away, “no.”

He blinked at you, eyes still drowsy and yet, attentive. He wasn’t drunk enough to be out of his mind. There was something else there, something that you weren’t quite sure of. It made you feel things that made you want to kiss him more.

“You’re drunk,” your voice came out tight, “I’ll let you sleep—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s hand came up once more to cradle your face and you swore you felt a colony of butterflies flutter throughout your chest.

And then, he said something that threw your world upside down.

He whispered, “you’re kind of pretty.”

Your eyes widened, but he didn’t give you a chance to answer before continuing, “I always thought you were, just— not in a normal way. You’re pretty in specific moments; like when you laugh and scrunch your nose. You know you scrunch your nose like a pig when you laugh? And when you wear my t-shirt after showers. You drown in them, it’s so cute. And when you bake me my favourite cassoulet even if it takes you like four hours. You’re pretty—prettiest when you do that.”

“Jungkook, you’re drunk and I—“

“I thought about it a lot, actually.” Jungkook continued in a slur, “kissing you.“

You’re practically fire engine red at this point and would’ve been trying to make sense of all the beautiful compliments that rolled out of his mouth, if not for the fact that this— whatever this was — was wrong in all senses of the word.

“Right,” you swallowed. Hard. “Right. Let me—we’ll talk in the morning alright?”

“Wait,” his other hand gripped your forearm, gentle, but firm, “stay with me, please.”

“I can’t—“

“Please Y/N,” and there was so much raw emotion in his voice, so much neediness that you couldn’t fight it. You let him pull you to his side as he tucked his head back into the crook of your neck, causing you to stiffen once he pressed a kiss there.

Jungkook was warm. Full of muscle. And so comforting that you couldn’t help but melt into his embrace ever so slightly as you felt his breaths against your skin. It made goosebumps break over your body, causing you to shiver slightly. And his hands — god, his hands — they were pressed so intimately against the side of your hip that it permeated your skin.

I'm so fucked, was the one thing that ran through your mind as you stared up at the darkness.

———

Jungkook had never been a romantic.

He had never really been much of anything, to be honest. He was socially awkward and people usually hated conversing with him because, as stated, he had ‘no filter’.

And you— oh, he had hurt you that first time at the art exhibition. It was just that you were always so happy even if everything wasn’t perfect, even if your artwork wasn’t the best it could be and even if you weren’t getting the good grades everyone was hoping for. So he just had to give you a reality check.that was until he realized how harsh he’d been with you.

But you surprised him, that first time where you were so quick to accept his apologies. Because most people would turn their backs and walk out of his life at this point.

But not you.

Never you.

So even if he had been a little tipsy at the after party, he had been completely aware of what his mouth was blabbering about in the middle of the night but had just been too drunk to care because goddamn, you looked so pretty with your mussed-up hair and that lovely basketball jersey hanging off your shoulder.

He almost felt like cursing himself the next morning when he woke up as if out of a dream, with the memory of your lips lingering, but not enough for him to quite remember it perfectly.

You were fast asleep, mouth ajar and a small dribble of drool at the corner of your lips. You were curled up into his side and Jungkook couldn’t help but reach out, gently stroking your cheek, your jaw, pushing a few locks of hair out of your face.

Jungkook wasn’t quite certain as to when his chest had started feeling so fluttery when you were around, just that something had changed between the two of you as soon as Sara had come into the picture.

And as per Jimin’s words, Jungkook had a good hunch that maybe, hopefully, you reciprocated his feelings.

“Oh shit.”

He realized a little too late that you were awake and that he was a little too close for comfort.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

You both spoke at the same time, your brown eyes wide with fear as you met his own.

Jesus christ. His eyes.

He really needed to stop looking at you like that.

“So uhm, let me explain— you were drunk and someone had to get you home right?” You started babbling while shoving yourself away from him like he had the plague, almost toppling over in the process and pulling the sheets with you as you went, “since I’m a good friend I had no choice but to take that responsibility and, mind you, you’re not light Jungkook. And you were whiny and just out of your goddamn mind so I—“

Your words cut off in mid-yelp when you fell off the bed. Jungkook shouted your name, barely able to grab your arm in the process as you both fell to the ground in a heap.

His hand cradled the back of your head, his torso above yours and one of his legs between your thighs.

“You okay?” He peered up at your face, taking deep breaths as his eyes flickered to your lips. Just for a second. “That wasn’t the gentlest fall.”

“I—I’m fine,” you stammered, heart beating wildly against your chest at the close proximity. Your mind zapped back to last night, couldn’t help but reminisce the sensation of his arms around your frame, burning the side of your hip, his lips staining yours—

You shoved him away without warning.

Jungkook yelped, catching himself at the corner of his bed while you scrambled up into a seated position. Away from him, away from all the things he’d been making you feel.

“I’m fine,” you kept on repeating without meeting his gaze, “I--I'm really just fine. More importantly..." you bit down onto your lower lip and averted your eyes, looking at him from beneath your lashes, "do you remember anything?"

Jungkook took some time, swallowing hard before he answered: “I remember.”

Oh shit. You felt your stomach give a lurch and pressed your lips together.

“I—“ he had the decency to look embarrassed, “yeah...I was tipsy, not drunk. I kind of knew—“

“Kind of knew?” Heat broke through your chest and drowned your entire face with colour as embarrassment filled you up like a sour lemon, "Wh—What do you—“ you tried to stutter out, “What exactly does that mean?”

There was a moment of silence where Jungkook just gazed at you, and you back at him. The tension was thick, so palpable with stifled heat that it pressed down onto your shoulders. Tense. Waiting.

After what seemed like eternity, your best friend let out a sigh and ruffled his hair, “I wanted it. I—wanted you, Y/N.”

“Because?”

You weren’t sure if you were seeing things or if Jungkook’s cheeks really had doubled in color, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know why you kissed me?”

“No, I do know why—“

“Why then?”

“Uh, I—you looked pretty.”

“Really Jungkook?” You crossed your arms over your chest with a scowl, “that’s your excuse? That I looked pretty?”

“No it’s not just that. I mean—yes you looked pretty last night. But also I’ve felt this—this thing for a while and wasn’t sure what to do with it. And you kept talking about Sara so I supposed that you wanted me to get with her—“

At this point you were practically spluttering with indignation, “that wasn’t it.”

“You know it’s hard for me to understand more than the obvious,” he paused, “but then I spoke to Jimin.”

Your throat went dry. So Jimin had told him the truth. You weren’t sure whether you had to be happy or sad about it.

Jungkook, on the other hand, seemed to be in his own little dilemma. He didn’t understand your facial expressions though he tried his best to. But this face wasn’t one that he was used to. Sure, he could identify your annoyance, the nervous tick of your throat whenever anxiety was eating away at you, or when your nostrils flared in silent anger. But this? This softness in your eyes and the puckered pout along your lips? He thought he knew, thought that maybe that said exactly what it wad implying. But Jungkook was amazingly thick when it came to that and thus didn’t want to assume anything.

After what seemed like forever, he made a move towards you, glad when you didn’t try to lean away from him.

“Look Y/N," his voice softened into a gentle murmur, "maybe I’m not the best at— conveying my feelings. I’m awkward and I’ve got this thing about not knowing how you feel, or how anyone else feels actually. It’s tough and sometimes it makes me want to bang my head against the wall, but,” he took a deep breath then, bit his lip in the process before his doe eyes fluttered up to yours, “but what I can say is that you make me feel things that I haven’t felt before. And I assume these things are good because they—they make me feel good.”

That was practically a speech in Jungkook’s realm. He wasn’t one for words, never tried to because it always ended badly. But there was an innate wish for him to be understood by you, of all people, because this mattered to him.

Last night was heavenly and he wished it would never end.

So if he had to throw himself under the bus in hopes of trying to attain that? He’d do it.

It was almost like you were frozen in time. Your lips were parted and your eyes were wide, and it took Jungkook every inch of his self-control to stay still in hopes of catching the smallest glimmer of hope on your face.

And when you finally spoke his name, he swore he felt his heart flip like a dead fish inside his chest.

“Jungkook,” your voice was barely above a whisper when you spoke, soprano trembling with restrained emotion, “are you saying that you— you like me?”

Jungkook sucked in a breath, “I—yeah. I guess that’s what it is, Y/N.“

He waited for you, tried to decipher the emotion swimming in your eyes and in the way your hands knotted together in your lap while all he could wish for was to close the distance that seemed all too big for him. The feeling of your body pressed into his was one committed to memory and there was no way he’d forget that feeling anytime soon.

And then, you spoke.

“I—I wish you’d told me sooner.”

His eyes flicked to yours. He never fely his heart beat so loudly in his chest.

“Why do you say that?” He croaked. God, his hands ached to pull you close.

You chuckled and he was surprised to find there were tears gathered in your eyes. You heaved a long, strangled sigh, “because then I wouldn’t be beating myself up about you all this time.”

Jungkook blinked, “Y/N, you know I’m not good with comprehension—“

“--What I’m saying is that I love you,” your voice broke, “I’ve loved you for a while now and it broke my heart to see you with another girl and I’m sorry, Jungkook.”

That was enough for him. He sucked in a sharp breath. Gazed at you with mixed hope and fear, and wordlessly took hold of your hand.

He tugged. You followed, stumbling into his lap so that your hands had no other choice than to lay on his chest.

You let out a soft gasp, eyes flickering up to lock with his own dark ones swimming with emotion, before you felt his other hand cup the side of your jaw.

“I didn’t misread that, did I?” He breathed.

You shook your head no.

He took it as a yes.

And dove down to claim your lips.

Heaven. That was what it felt like. Tasted like.

Jungkook held you so close, yet with such tender care that it made you tremble. You breathed out a soft sigh through your nose, before kissing him back slowly, hesitantly, savoring the moment so that it could last forever.

You felt your heart beat loudly, echoing theough your ears, and wondered if Jungkook could hear it. But a soft groan from him was enough to wipe out all kinds of thoughts as the young man broke away for just a second before leaning down to devour your mouth like you were the forbidden fruit calling out with temptation.

He was, admittedly, not the worst at kissing. His mouth was hot and wanting, dripping with the kind of seduction that made you want to continue kissing him over and over again. Your fingers carded their way up his neck, slipping up to his dark hair as a soft sound of pleasure rippled through his chest.

Jungkook's own hands traveled down to your waist, pulled you close so that you felt his warmth against your curves. You gasped in part surprise and part want, not realizing that his other hand had wound around the back of your head to keep you steady as he tilted you back, ravaging your lips like this was the last time you would share any kisses.

For someone who didn't understand social cues, Jungkook was certainly good at getting his message across non-verbally.

At some point, you pulled back to catch your breath. He pressed his forehead to yours, breathing in deep as his chest trembled beneath your fingers.

Was this it? Was he yours?

“You know, that’s really not what I had in mind when I dropped you home last night,” you murmured.

He chuckled lowly, the sound echoing through his chest as he pressed another soft kiss to the side of your head. The action made your heart flutter, “neither did I.”

“This won’t become weird, right? Between us? Nothing’s going to change?” You hoped the panic wasn’t showing in your voice.

But Jungkook shifted you more comfortably onto his lap as he gazed up at your face, “change? Like what?”

“Well, we’re best friends. I just don’t want us to lose that relationship—“

“So you don’t want me as a boyfriend?”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I want you as my boyfriend, but not like— I don’t want you just as my boyfriend. I want you as my friend and my boyfriend in one.”

“Okay,” he shrugged before burying his face into your neck, not noticing the soft yelp at the back of your throat at his action, “as long as I get to do that—“ he squeezed your middle, causing another gasp out of your mouth.

“Jungkook!” You protested, cheeks blazing with heat as his lips quirked up into a smile, “what? i like holding you, Y/N. It’s …comforting.”

The grin that blossomed across your lips made you probably seem like a fool, but you didn’t care, allowing yourself to succumb to the warm bubble that seemed to wrap both of you in its arms. This was by far, the closest you’ve ever been to a man despite having your fair share of love affairs all throughout high school.

But this, this couldn’t compare. You felt at home and yet, like your heart was about to combust with just one mere look.

“What time is it?” Jungkook asked sleepily.

You reached out, fingers barely catching onto your phone before you swiped it open to see a flood of messages from Yoona and Jimin, both individually and in the group.

Yoona: text me when you get home safe!

Yoona: HELLOO? ARE YOU HOME?

Yoona: i swear bitch if you died I will find you and kill you again

Yoona; fine be that way but I’ll want answers tomorrow morning

Yoona: Y/N ARE YOU STILL AT JK’s PLACE?!?! CAN YOU TEXT ME ASAP PLSSSSS

trust Yoona to be a drama queen. You rolled your eyes and quickly typed out an answer, only to receive a call a second later.

“What?” You mumbled into the receiver. Yuna scoffed in reply, “don’t what me! You’re still with Jungkook aren’t you? He’s not dead is he?”

“He’s fine. And yes, I stayed with him.”

“Why? Was he that drunk he couldn’t take care of himself?”

Jungkook, who’s ears seemed sharp, glanced up at you with a pointed look.

“No, I mean— Yes, he was drunk,” you averted your eyes so that he wouldn’t distract you, “and I—I stayed to take care of him.”

“And? And?” Did something happen?”

You did not fail to ignore the way Jungkook chuckled as Yoona’s voice echoed theoughout the room. Turning your head away from him, you tried to mutter, “Yoona I’ll call you back okay?”

“What? Wait you can’t just leave me hanging like this after I’ve asked you like the super most important—“

Too late. Your finger pressed down onto the red button, cutting off any of her whining before you tossed the device to the side of the bed with a sigh.

Jungkook, on the other hand, seemed amused.

“Yoona knew?” Was what he asked, to which you shrugged, “she kind of guessed, but we never really talked about it.”

“Were you that obvious?”

“Well yeah I suppose, if even Changbin managed to see through me.”

Jungkook almost choked on his saliva at the said man’s name. He never really was not too fond of Changbin, and from the frown blossoming over his face, it was clear he still had a small bit of distaste for the man.

“What about Sara?”

His eyes flicked up to yours, “what about her?”

“Well all this time…” you trailed off, unsure how to proceed with the next set of words, “I thought you liked her.”

“I do.” He lifted himself up on his elbow so that he could gaze down at you then, dark orbs shining with amusement, “as a friend.”

“Oh,” you bit your lip, tried hard not to stare at the way his shirt fell to the side to display his collarbones. He did have nice pecs, you had to admit that much, “well, how was I supposed to know that?”

Jungkook thought for a minute, “I suppose I could’ve been more straightforward—“

“And you!” You jabbed him in the chest, “you said you didn’t even understand why people fell in love, liar.”

“Okay okay, I’m sorry,” his hand caught yours, lacing your fingers with a grin as your own skin blossomed with pink, “but now you know.”

You grumbled under your breath, which quickly transformed into a gasp of surprise when the said young man grasped your waist and lifted you onto the bed before he followed shortly. He wrapped his arms around your middle as naturally as though he’d been doing it all this time, ignoring your protests before pinning you down to the mattress and throwing a leg over your form.

“I just realized, I think I have class.” You said, but Jungkook merely grumbled and buried his face back into your neck, “skip for today.”

“Did you just tell me to skip class?” You threw him a pointed look.

“I am human, Y/N.”

“I know that, but I’ve never thought you of all people would ask me to skip class, for your sake.”

“Not for my sake. For yours.”

“Sure, whatever you say.”

———

"Fucking finally. It only took like six months. "

You swatted the back of Changbin's head just as you spotted your best friend -- boyfriend -- come into view with a bunch of testpapers in his arms.

"Shut up Changbin," you hissed, "you're not one to talk."

"Hey, if I want the girl I go get the girl, okay? It's not that hard," Changbin rolled his eyes, "you guys were just re-enacting Romeo and Juliette."

You made a move to toss your notebook at him and he ducked, laughing manically as a grin blossomed across your face. Despite his teasing, you knew that he was happy that you and Jungkook had finally made it official after that drunken night. Though you weren't one to deal with alcohol, you had to admit that it had helped speed up the process.

"I was one percent away from getting full marks," Jungkook scowled as he approached the table, dumping all test papers in the process like a sulky kid deprived of candy, "and when I asked, the TA just told me that I hadn't written all the steps down when clearly I did."

"Just be glad you're not failing, nerd," Changbin sneered as Jungkook slid into the seat next to you, his scowl deepening at the sight of the said rebel, "some of us have the pleasure of taking summer courses."

"Don't tell me you have to re-do one of yours?" you asked the latter.

"You guessed right. I failed Art History by two points. Dude was out to get me for my missing capital letters."

"Technically, capital letters do form part of the --"

"Not the time, nerd. Thank you," Changbin glared at Jungkook from across the table.

Jungkook glared right back. You sighed, wondering how on earth you'd manage with these two until the end of your university career. As much as Changbin hated to admit it, he did enjoy Jungkook's little quirks even if that had needed some getting used to. Same for Jungkook, who had silent appreciation for the way Changbin handled life and his art in general, never really stressing on things that didn't matter too much.

The two of them were so alike and yet so different in so many ways. You had no idea how to make them reach common ground.

"We're meeting everyone at the noodle snack bar tonight," you reminded the two of them, pointing for more emphasis, "and everybody really needs to be on their best behaviour. And I mean it. Every. Single. One."

"Well maybe we'd have a better time if the nerd didn't spout his stupid nonsense--"

"He started it," Jungkook cut him off, addressing you instead like a middle schooler having caught his friend red-handed copying down his notes.

"Honestly," your nostrils flared with irritation at the two's bickering. It was getting so out of hand that it was ridiculous at this point, "can you just not talk to each other if you have nothing nice to say?"

"In my defense, I have not said anything offensive to the other party from the moment I sat down at this table," Jungkook declared as the scowl on Changbin's face deepened, "of course you wouldn't, you--"

You slammed the table. A growl ripped out of your throat. "Enough."

Ever since it was found that you and Jungkook had started dating, or "trying it out" as you liked to say with embarrassment — because by god you hadn't even had much time to hang out since your confession on Jungkook's bed — Changbin's overprotectiveness had increased tenfold. Maybe because he feared Jungkook might break your heart as he'd done a few weeks prior, maybe because he just didn't like the guy. Even so, their interactions had just worsened from snappy insults to straight up arguments that you had to break up more times than you could count.

Not that you minded much. It was kind of cute to see big, bad Changbin trying his best to act as your good cop, bad cop kind of guy. But sometimes you just wished he’d tone it down a little. It wasn’t as if Jungkook was a total stranger. You knew the guy, and were well aware that he wasn’t going to break your heart. Not intentionally at least.

Speaking of Jungkook… your eyes found his face across the table, tracing his features and wondering whether he kept replaying back that one moment you had a few days ago like you did every night. Truth to be told, things had turned out a little awkward between the two of you ever since, and the exams had just made it worse, for the memory was now so distant that you feared it was some part of imaginary trick that you were being blinded to.

Jungkook’s dark orbs found yours and you jolted in response, averting your gaze as colour exploded through your cheeks. God, the effect he had on you. He didn’t know, did he?

It was almost pathetic.

Which is why you made up an excuse about having to meet Yoona before the dinner, and quickly packed your things while avoiding the two boy’s curious stares. You’d rather come to the dinner alone tonight than spend any more of your time trying to rack your brain about what the next step might be.

“You guys fighting or what?” Changbin asked Jungkook the moment you were out of sight.

The latter frowned, “no.”

“Then why is she acting like she can’t look at you?”

So it wasn’t just his imagination. You had been purposefully avoiding him.

“Is that…normal girl behavior?” Jungkook asked bluntly, to which Changbin let out a heavy sigh, “oh man, Jungkook. Girls are complicated creatures. I’m pretty sure something must be bothering her.”

“But—“ he tried to rack his brain for something -- anything -- that he might've done wrong, "I haven't done anything, not to my knowledge."

Changbin sighed once more before he leaned in, hands clasped atop his knees, "when was the last time you saw her?"

"In my flat. When--When I told her about how I felt." Jungkook felt his ears turn red, did not miss the teasing smirk flashing across the other man's face, "But that was weeks ago and we haven't really had a chance to hang out since--"

"So you're telling me that a few weeks ago was your first and last time together, as a couple?" Changbin let out a scoff, "no wonder she's pissed at you, man. You gotta do better than that."

"What do you mean?"

"She's expecting you to make a move, dumbass. It's obvious she likes you, isn't it? But you not doing anything about it and going about your petty life like nothing happened does not help."

That made Jungkook think. Of course, now that he thought back on it, life had just gotten in the way of his and your relationship, what with exams and all, it had just been impossible to steer his brain out of this academic wormhole.

"Do you think she's upset?" Jungkook asked softly. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't have minded too much because in all honesty, keeping relationships was just tough work when people barely understood his perspective.

But you're not just anyone, and knowing how frantic he'd been at the notion of your anger directed at him, there was no way Jungkook was going to let it get to that point again.

"Probably." Changbin's voice broke him out of his mini-monologue.

"I--What should I do?"

This was probably the first time Jungkook looked so terrified in his life, and Changbin would've made fun of him for it if not for the fact that this was about you.

He leaned back into his seat, "ask her out on a date. A proper one."

"How should I do that?"

"How should I know?" Changbin scowled, "Aren't you the one interested in her? What does Y/N like?"

They sat and brainstormed about the multiple options, with Changbin steering him away from 'study dates' and 'movie at your house'. So engrossed was the pair in the heated discussion that they were surprised to find it was almost time for dinner.

"Shit," Changbin cursed, grabbing onto his stuff and beckoning Jungkook to hurry, "we're gonna be late."

Everyone was already seated by the time they arrived, surprised looks flitting across their faces at the uncanny pair stepping through the doors of the diner.

"Is everything alright?" Jimin asked as Changbin settled next to him as Jungkook slid into the last vacant seat.

"Yeah, why?" Changbin grunted without looking his way.

"No, it's just that--you and Jungkook aren't the best of friends so..."

"So?"

Changbin’s scowl deepened and Jimin stuttered out a “nevermind” before deciding it was none of his business.

You were already in deep conversation with Yoona about the last art history exam when you felt a familiar scent wash over you. Turning to see Jungkook, your heart flipped inside your chest. Suddenly, the room felt a bit too crowded, too cramped, for your liking.

“Hey Y/N,” he tipped his head towards Yoona, “hello Yoona.”

“Y/N told me you got 99 on the test,” Yoona threw her arms across the table dramatically with a groan, “how the fuck did you do it?”

“Yes. It really bugged me that the professor took out one mark just because I didn’t write everything down properly.”

“I didn’t really need to know Jungkook, you don’t have to rub it in my face,” Yoona whined, “ugh, I really don’t want to come back for summer school.”

Before you could warn Jungkook not to say anything more, the waiter came to take their order and soon the conversation drifted away. As your friends chatted about the upcoming plans for the summer holidays, you allowed your eyes to stray towards Jungkook’s face when he wasn’t looking.

He was dressed up quite nicely today, a change from his usual style. With an oversized dark t-shirt over some baggy cargo pants and winter boots, he could almost pass for a model that walked straight out of a glossy magazine.

“Y/N? Is there something bothering you?”

“What?” You blinked back to reality, only to realize Jungkook had been looking at you all this time with mildly amused curiosity, “uh, no, no—nothing’s bothering me.”

“She’s just happy to be spending time with you, Jungkook,” Yoona chirped, which causes you to send her a vicious scowl across the table, “shut up,” you hissed.

Jungkook’s ears went bright red, doe eyes widening before Jimin dragged him into another conversation.

You took that chance to whack Yoona’s forearm, “what is wrong with you?!”

“Ouch, what? i’m just trying to help,” she pouted, “can you guys just be cute already? I’m dying to see you being all coupley—“

Her words died halfway up her throat at your glower. The kind that would make people run away and hide. If looks could kill, Yoona would’ve already dropped dead by now.

The dinner in itself was quite a nice event. Fried chicken and beer was served, and you tries your best to shove your feelings aside. Instead focusing on how Jimin’s terrible story about a tinder date.

“—can you believe that? She literally cursed out the waiter as if it was his fault that the food was taking time. I was so embarrassed I felt like I could die,” Jimin kept on ranting as he covered his face with his hands, “I mean, she’s pretty and all but jesus christ, no manners whatsoever.”

“Needless to say, you’re probably not going to go on a date anytime soon,” Yoona sniggered at him, “although I did tell you not to go, didn’t I?”

Jungkook, meanwhile, was in his own world.

His eyes darted between your hands found in your lap and the plate of remaining chicken. He’d long come to the conclusion that Changbin was right during that small speech a few hours earlier; that he should take action if he wanted you to know how he felt.

"You have to make her feel like she's wanted, you know? You can't always expect her to make the first move." Changbin's voice echoed through his head like a warning, "do stuff. Try and hold her hand. Hug her. Have you kissed yet?"

Jungkook's face burned so bright it could compete against a firefighter truck, "yes, but...I haven't had any chances to--"

"Bullshit. You had your chance. You're just a coward."

The words were harsh, yet true. Jungkook was a coward.

But that would change. Today itself. That was the silent promise he'd made.

"--how about you tell us how your date went then?" Jimin's words brought the young man back to the problem at hand. Your hands were still in your lap. Any second now, his own fingers twitched at the thought of holding yours and warmth instantly seeped into the back of his neck, heated up his entire face.

God. He hadn't even done anything yet and he was struggling to breathe.

"Let me just tell you, Jeonghwa was the best boyfriend material I've ever laid eyes upon. If you must know," you laughed at Yoona's face as she elaborated with a swish of her fingers, "he opened all of my doors and even walked me back to my apartment and waited until I was home before he drove off, now if that's not boyfriend material, I don't know what--"

Now. Jungkook's hand dropped to yours under the table.

You pulled away at the same time, causing his hand to grab at nothing--

Until it landed on your knee. Inches close to your thigh.

Eyes widening in panic, Jungkook gaped at you with excuses already bubbling up his throat in what he hoped was silent apology. You were looking back at him like a deer in the headlights, mouth opening and closing, and if not for the distraction of Yoona's escapades happening, you would've been more vocal about whatever Jungkook had attempted.

"I'm so--sorry," Jungkook whispered out and scrambled to retract his hand--

Only for your fingers to grasp his wrist, pinning it your leg.

You were glad that everyone was focused on your friend's description of the perfect man, for you were pretty certain your cheeks were bright red. Your body felt like it was on fire.

Oh god. The realization hit him. His hand. His hand was on your leg. Naked skin. and you were holding it there, as though you wanted him to stay.

Slowly. Slowly but surely, Jungkook allowed himself to breathe out in a soft, slow breath. Bit by bit, he felt his own muscles relaxing as the warmth of your leg seeped into his palm. Tingles ran up and down his spine at the sudden intimacy, but he wasn't going to argue. This was, by far, the most terrifying yet amazing thing that was happening to him.

The room gradually came back into focus; the laughter coming from the friend's table, the idle chatter forming the atmosphere around them, the tinkle and noisy clanging of cutlery from the back kitchen. Jungkook managed to blink back into reality, heart thudding a little too loudly in his chest as he attempted -- once again -- to focus on the conversation at hand, which seemed to now have diverted towards the summer holidays.

His hand stayed there all throughout dinner, a feat that even surprised you, not that you were complaning. He was relaxed enough that by the end of it -- as Yoona was paying the bill and redistributing who owed each other what -- his thumb had taken to trace small circles across the inner part of your thigh.

The action was enough to make your head buzz with echoes of desire. Jungkook might be awkward and clumsy, but there was definitely nothing clumsy about the way he kept drawing circle after circle against your skin as if wanting your body to react in the most sinful ways possible.

Dinner now over, the group bundled themselves out and Jungkook reluctantly pulled away as you felt the coldness seconds where his hand had once been. You followed your friends out into the warm June evening, where everyone took this chance to bid each other goodbye.

"You dropping Y/N home?" Jimin asked Jungkook, who you saw nod slightly before he said something that was too low for you to catch.

Yoona bumped her shoulder with yours with a wink, "have fun," and before you could say anything else, bounded away like a mischievous child.

Your flat was just a few blocks away from the snack bar, the night still lively and filled with noises of passerby's along the street as you made your way back, Jungkook in tow.

"You don't have to walk me back, you know," you told him as your feet crunched along the gravel.

"It's apparently bad manners to allow a woman to walk home alone," Jungkook answered. That was such a textbook response for your best friend and you were already letting out a sigh of slight exasperation, when you felt the warmth of his hand slip into yours.

Swallowing thickly, you looked down at your entwined fingers as warmth spread through your chest and your face before your eyes found Jungkook's. The softness you found in those doe eyes had your heart fluttering with butterflies.

Nothing was said. And yet, you felt as though his silence said everything you needed to know.

"Did you enjoy the dinner?" you managed to rasp out a question instead, ignoring the goosebumps exploding along your arm when his thumb started caressing your outer knuckles.

His nose scrunched up adorably, "I'm not a fan of fried chicken. I just didn't want to upset Yoona."

"I have ramen, if you want."

"Really?" his eyes lit up with such excitement that it made you scoff, "you should've told her you didn't like chicken. You know she's not one to take offence to anything."

"I know. But she likes it," he paused, "the fried chicken."

"She does like it." you looked at him then, wondering since when was he so attentive towards others when he usually lived in his own little world, "that's...surprisingly kind of you."

His eyebrow rose up, "I am kind."

"Not in that way you aren't. You're oblivious to what people want or what people like most of the time. So you knowing Yoona's preferences...that's quite a thing," you said, chuckling at the pout forming on his face. Something stirred inside you at his action; you really wanted to just kiss that pout away.

Jesus. You were a goner for this man.

"Hey Y/N?"

"Yeah?" Your eyes were glued to the road.

Jungkook tugged your hand and you stumbled closer to him, shoulders brushing as tingles shot up along your said arm.

When he spoke next, his voice was soft, yet raw with a kind of restrained emotion, "is everything alright?"

Your head cocked, "yes? Why?"

"I don't know, I--" he bit the inside of his cheek, "--I feel like you've been avoiding me again."

"Wha--" your words dissipated in the warm night air as you digested his words. It wasn't like you had wanted to avoid him. Not willingly anyway. It was just that after your kiss that particular morning when Jungkook had held you close and cuddled you like you were his personal teddy bear, nothing had been said and no conversation had cleared the air about the current status of your relationship. With that said, you weren't expecting Jungkook to suddenly transform into this incredible boyfriend material overnight just because he'd confessed to you. But you were at a loss, for fear that if you mentioned anything -- or merely hinted that maybe you'd wanted to talk it out -- he'd run away, disappear, try his best not to acknowledge whatever had happened.

But Jungkook was here. In the flesh, asking you about your situation. Wanting to know. Yearning.

"I'm sorry," your shoulders deflated and your eyes dropped to the ground as you kicked at a random pebble, "I wasn't avoiding you. I just-- after what happened, I wasn't sure what you wanted to do."

"Well, people kiss when they like each other," Jungkook stated bluntly. He cocked his head at you, "or am I mistaken?"

"No," your face was blazing with fire, "you're right. I just--it's you. I didn't know what to expect, really."

"I might be a douche at social cues, Y/N, but that doesn't mean I can't read up about it," he paused as he took in your countenance, "was this why you were avoiding me?"

"Yes. I was scared of how you'd react. I was scared you--" your words trailed off into a fearful whisper,"--that you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

That was when Jungkook's hand tugged you to a stop. You did so willingly, keeping your gaze turned away for fear of what you'd see on his face. But he wasn't having any of that, for his other hand came up towards your chin, propping it upwards so that you had no other choice than to look into those beautiful maroon orbs that made your heart swoon and your stomach burst aflame.

It got a little harder to breathe and you swore you felt yourself sway.

"I like you," Jungkook's eyes shone with emotion, "Y/N. I like you a lot."

You opened your mouth. Closed it. Opened it once more as you felt your heart shake, "I--I like you...too."

"Changbin, he told me that I should take you out on a date, to show you that I'm serious about you."

"I--Yeah. I suppose that's what happens."

Oh god, Changbin. That was probably why the two of them had been together when they first joined the group for dinner earlier that night. The thought of Jungkook together with your rebellious friend had you gritting your teeth. If there was someone that was a completely bad influence over the other, it would definitely be Changbin.

"Then," Jungkook had the decency to look slightly embarrassed. He dropped his hand so that he could use it to rub the back of his neck, looking away as he did so, "can I--take you out tomorrow?"

“Oh,” the sound left your lips in surprise, wide eyes staring up like he’d just announced something totally unlike himself. And it was, in a way, because Jungkook wasn’t the kind to be so verbal.

Him doing so made your heart melt and your insides turn to mush. Because you knew, you knew how much effort it took for him to even take that, initiate that, first step.

“Yes,” you murmured out in a soft croak, “I—I’d like that.”

————

Being with Jungkook was weird.

No, scratch that. It wasn’t weird. It was new, and fresh, and something that made your head swirl with feelings you never thought you could’ve experienced in this lifetime. Love was never something you’d quite expected to be at the forefront of your mind, especially not since you had your studies to get through.

But everything was so different. Yet the same.

Weird. Yes, that was what you’d call it.

Jungkook wasn’t a big lover. He wasn’t big on romance, and he was most of the time just a dense brick. But he showed his love in various ways; making sure your coat was ready for you whenever you were the one exiting the apartment, leaving you little snacks that you’d find in the depths of your bag after lecture because he knew how much your stomach screamed for food at any hour of the day, always leaving you with some of the delicious leftovers he’d cook so that you’d have food for the rest of the week.

These actions were somewhat motherly, somewhat not romantic at all, and sometimes you missed having the kind of relationship where holding hands was a certainty. But you quickly found that you basked in this kind of love language, that it made sense to you even though your friends thought he could do so much more for you.

“No,” you shook your head when Yoona complained for the nth time about how you guys didn’t even look like a couple to begin with, “I like him that way. It’s Jungkook, I don’t expect Jungkook to act differently.”

“No I guess he wouldn’t,” Yoona muttered sourly, madder than you were about the ordeal, “but it wouldn’t hurt him to try!”

“Yoona, it’s fine,” you chided, chuckling softly at her annoyed expression, “I’m okay with it, really.”

Some part of you — a very tiny part of your grey matter at the back of your subconscious — wished that he’d initiate something that wasn’t an act of service or something that your mom would’ve done. Something physical, something that told you he was there, that he loved you just as much as you did.

But you pushed it back, not wanting ruin things and not wanting to push him into doing stuff he wasn’t comfortable with. If the situation were reversed, Jungkook would never do anything that’d make you uncomfortable, and so you had to respect his wishes.

But all that changed one afternoon as you exited your last art history lecture. Since the semester was slowly coming to an end, you and Jungkook were opting to watch the latest anime movie that came out two days ago. To say that it was a date would be correct, though how much of dating would be involved, that you’d rather not ask.

Ordering your popcorn — salty for you and sweet for Jungkook — you met up with him at the entrance, holding onto the bags for dear life as he laughed at your struggle.

“I told you I could help you with that,” was what he said as he grabbed a box from your hand. That gave you leverage to shove your purse back in your small bag, “you’re so stubborn sometimes.”

“Look who’s talking,” you shot back, popping a popcorn into your mouth. The salty buttery taste had you swooning in delight. This was what junk food was all about.

Jungkook chose two seats at the far back once the doors were opened and you settled in, glad for once that the theater wasn’t as sparse. Hopefully, that wouldn’t make the date awkward.

Sweat was already accumulating in your hands and you balled them into fists, not wanting Jungkook to notice.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice was so close it made you turn in surprise, eyes widening slightly at the way his head was leaned towards yours.

You could count on your fingers how many times you two had kissed since the incident on his bed. It was probably less than a grand total of ten times, and this included pecks. Which meant that making out was still foreign, uncharted territory and would probably be for a while until you two got drunk enough to be comfortable.

You were okay with that, really. Really.

But the fact that he was so close made it difficult to breathe, causing your lower belly to stir with heat. You swallowed thickly, leaning back on impulse and flitting your eyes away.

“I’m fine,” you hoped your voice didn’t sound as choked as you thought it did, “just a bit tired.”

Thank god for the lights dimming, an excuse that had Jungkook’s attention turn towards the huge screen as you breathed in a soft sigh of relief. At least watching the movie couldn’t be awkward. Right?

Wrong.

Well, the first thirty minutes were fine. Normal, very normal. So much so that you practically forgot about the weird tension between the two of you as you slid down more comfortably in your seat and shoved popcorn into your mouth like it was the only thing that mattered.

But then half-way through the movie, you felt warmth drifting along your side, by your arm rest. Quickly glancing down to notice that Jungkook’s arm was pressing against yours, your ears flushed involuntarily as you forced yourself to breathe through your nose.

Just his arm, you thought to yourself, just his arm. It was nothing else. Just friendly—

That was when his hand brushed against your free one. You shivered slightly, lips parting as you felt the rough pads of Jungkook’s fingertips slide between yours.

Oh. Oh. Your heart practically burst through your chest.

Eyes wide and mouth falling open, you tried to focus on the images on the screen although by now your attention was solely focused on the way his skin felt against yours, on the way your body seemed to respond like Jungkook had a gravitational pull you couldn’t ignore.

He smelled nice, up close. Nicer than you thought. Like fresh laundry and something woody, something masculine.

It was almost nice, so nice that your body slowly relaxed in his hold so that he took to brushing his thumb against your outer knuckles as the film went on. Not that you had been paying attention anyway, considering all sense of logic had lost you the moment you’d felt his warmth at your side.

Jungkook’s chuckle made you jump. A yelp died at the back of your throat as you looked at him.

“Why does he think it’s a good idea?” He looked at you with a small grin, referring to the main guy in the movie that seemed to be choosing the wrong girl as his love interest.

“Because he’s a dumbass,” your reply was automatic, but his chuckle was cute, irresistible, and made your heart melt.

It didn’t help that his fingers kept playing with yours like it was natural to do so.

“Girls should be more honest with the men they love,” was his statement, “us men never know what you guys think of most of the time. And, like you always tell me, men are idiots.”

“Men are idiots. Men in love are even more idiots.”

“Am I an idiot?”

You couldn’t help the chuckle that fell past your lips, “maybe.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“As you should.”

The movie ended a little too soon for your liking, for you were starting to just get comfy with the feeling of his hands in yours. But the blinding lights flooding into the room had you quickly jerk your hand away, tucking it close to your side as you followed the said young man out into the hall.

“I’m starving,” Jungkook stated as you dtumbled into the cool summer night air. He extended his arms above his head and gave you a lovely view of his muscles flexing.

You looked away, “should we go eat something?”

“Yeah I’d like that.”

Settling on a small snack that sold Jajangmyeon next to the cinema itself, you managed to get through dinner without another hiccup, and for that you were glad. Everything seemed to settle back where it should be and by the end of it, you were so comfortable with him that you could almost forget how he’d made you feel, all the butterflies that had inhabited your stomach.

He accompanied you back home, courtesy of his polite nature, and wasn’t until you were almost at your road that he made another clumsy grab for your hand.

It was cute, sweet in a way, how embarrassed he seemed about it as he tucked your hand into his jacket pocket. And when you gave him a surprised look, merely shrugged and muttered a, “girls like it when guys do this. Right?”

“How do you know that?” A thought occurred to you, causing your lips to quirk up teasingly, “wait— did Changbin tell you—“

“No,” the anger in his tone made you giggle because this was borderline ridiculous, the jealousy between these two men, “no he didn’t. I—“

“You?”

“I—uhm—“ his hand went to scratch the back of his neck sheepishly, colour filling his cheeks once more as he diverted his gaze towards your house, “I— kind of looked it up.”

You blinked at him, “you mean— like, googled it?”

“Well google is accurate to an extent, is it not?” Jungkook huffed with so much attitude that you lost it, bursting out in peals of laughter as he scowled at you like you’d just burst his bubble.

“I—I’m so sorry,” you choked on your own breath, “really—honestly— oh gosh— Jungkook, you really didn’t have to—“

He dropped your hand like it was a hot coal, “fine then,” he grumbled and turned away.

You scrambled for him, quickly interlocking his fingers with yours, “aw come on,” you gushed, reaching up to poke at his cheek, “it’s cute. You gotta admit, even for you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I wasn’t expecting you to put in so much effort for me.”

He grumbled a bit more, though your words seemed to have appeased him as he didn’t tug his hand away when you squeezed it with affection. Even allowed you to hold it all the way to the door of your flat until you had to reach for your keys.

“Thanks for accompanying me back home,” you offered him a small smile, “it’s late, you should probably— probably head home now.”

“Yeah,” his eyes were flicking over your features, gaze so intense on yours that you felt your breath hitch.

He took a step closer. And another. And another.

You stumbled against the door, heart accelerating as you gazed up at him.

“Wha—“ the words died in your throat as he closed the distance. Placing one palm against the door before leaning down so that his nose brushed against yours, what you found in Jungkook’s eyes made your own heart swim, your own widening at the proximity as your hand impulsively found its way atop his chest.

“Did you— read about that…too..” your words trailed off when you couldn’t help but glance at his lips.

They were pretty. Pinkish in the dim light, apart just enough to reveal his cute bunny teeth.

The sight was adorable.

Focus, Y/N!

“Maybe. Yes. Why?” Jungkook’s whisper brought you out of your trance, “is it working?”

You bit your lip and murmured, “maybe.”

That seemed to satisfy him, for the next minute, his mouth was on yours and he was kissing you like he'd been waiting to since that fateful night where everything changed.

You let out a soft breath, one that he swallowed down as his lips stained yours with warmth, the wetness of his tongue coaxing yours out and making your legs turn into jello. He was, despite his lack of experience, not a bad kisser. On the contrary, his mouth was wanting, bruising, left you reeling for more like he knew exactly what to do to get you pliant in his hold.

Hands taking on a life of their own as you reached up to wrap around the back of his neck, you couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped you when he pressed a flurry of kisses along your jaw, down your neck, suckling on a soft spot there that had you shuddering in delight. It seemed as though Jungkook had let go of all constraints for once, listening to what his body wanted instead of logic. And he was doing a real good damn job of it.

His own arms were wrapped around your frame, backing you up to your door as his hands slipped underneath the hem of your shirt to rest at your hips. The circles he drew along your skin were akin to flames bursting through your chest as butterflies erupted through your every pore and it took every single cell in your body not to crumble at his feet because damn, Jungkook knew exactly what he was doing.

Leaning away just when you needed air, your heart melted upon feeling Jungkook's hand cradle your cheek.

He tilted your chin up, thumb ghosting over the skin along your jaw as your eyes clashed; dark maroon settling on brown butter.

You swallowed, allowed the air to rush through your chest, to squeeze into the grooves of your heart and turn you breathless as you held his gaze, soft and tender and filled with something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

But you liked it.

You liked having him so close. This close to you.

He smelled good. Felt good. You didn't want this to end.

"Y/N."

Jungkook's murmur made your insides flutter. You hummed, not being able to resist burying your nose into his shirt, "yeah?" you murmured.

"I really like spending time with you."

Your heart melted into Jungkook goo and you almost swooned at his words.

Looking up into his eyes, a small smile played across your lips as you said, "I like spending time with you too, Jungkook."

"Can we--" he bit his lip, eyed right and left before huffing out, "--can we do this again?"

You laughed, "yes. Yes we can do that again."

"Okay. And I can hold you like this too?"

"You can hold me however long you like," you grinned up at him, heart exploding with happiness, "I don't mind."

If someone were to ask you why you were with Jungkook, you weren't sure you had a direct answer to that. Because the truth was that, despite having known him for so long and how completely opposite in personality and character traits you were, you couldn't -- for the life of you -- imagine how your life would be without him around. Jungkook made it all better just by being there, a home that you could crawl back to whenever life got too hectic, too hard. That was who Jungkook was to you, an anchor to your boat, the light at the end of a dark tunnel. And while you felt guilty about only realizing this now -- at the price of almost losing him in the process to someone else -- you couldn't find it in yourself to regret anything, now that you were cradled in his arms like something -- someone -- worth his time and energy and heart.

Yes, you were so completely different it was hard to imagine how you got along. But the fact was that you did, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

----

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This part and ending was so long overdue. I know how many people having been ASKING for the part 4, and after soo so so damn long, here is the ending to IT'S (just so) AWKWARD! I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I loved writing it. I'm really sorry for not being as active as I was before on here, but you can still find me on Wattpadd! That's where I'm most active! But honestly, thanks for sticking around so much. I'm still really really grateful for all the love that I receive on here. Tumblr has been my rock, my safe space since Covid has started, and I'll never really forget what this community did for me <3

[numinousher]

CHANTAJE! (epilogue)

SUMMARY: your hectic life was nothing but peaceful now

WARNING(S): nothing

NOTE: another series done 🥲 thank you for the support

TAGLIST (CLOSED): @parapiop7 @an-ever-angry-bi @softforyoongles @thenaverse @delliriumn @juju-227592 @skyys-universe @carolinexkpop @reallysparklychaos @namjooncrabs @savagemickey03 @drunkzseok @svnbangtansworld @2ne1unni

“Mr. Kim! Mr. Kim!”

“Mr. Kim! How do you feel about your wife getting an Oscar nomination?”

Namjoon smiled at hearing the question as he held your hand protectively, reporters surrounding you 8 since you were heading to dinner in a very popular street.

You were celebrating a year of marriage and what better way to do that than to celebrate it at the restaurant they opened for you? It was surprising to say the least, but this was a lot due to the fact you got a private jet, a private island so you could peacefully shoot films in, and got a whole collection of new jewelry that will never be (officially) released.

“We are very proud of Y/n,” Namjoon said as loud as he could over the sound of camera clicks. He opened the door for you before your guys’ guards took over to let all of you in. “How could we not? She’s doing an amazing job. Thank you.”

You 8 walked in and ignored anymore questions about your new nomination that everyone was raving about. It was a big deal, after all, since this was such a major achievement in your career. You were very surprised when Jae had called you to tell you the news; you were nominated for an Oscar after a film of yours attracted so much attention in the states. It was a nice way to start your weekend. You were still in disbelief and the others couldn’t have been more prouder than ever. They were the first ones to call you to congratulate you since they were working.

“It’s so beautiful,” you gasped out as Namjoon and the others led you even further inside the restaurant.

You eyed the chandeliers hanging on the roof, the warm tone colors adding more richness to the atmosphere, the music softly playing in the background by a band they made you choose (without you knowing for what), and the place was so far crowded by a bunch of people since Namjoon wanted to make the place as affordable as possible.

“I’m happy you like it, beautiful,” Jimin said as he kissed the side of your head from beside you, his hand placed on your lower back. “I remodeled it.”

“We,” Jungkook corrected.

“No they didn’t,” Yoongi muttered out, looking around. “They chose the pieces and I remodeled it. Assholes kept whining they didn’t want to do the hard work.”

“I-” Both Jimin and Jungkook let out, about to argue. “That’s not true!”

You giggle to yourself and kiss Yoongi. “Thank you for remodeling it, Yoongi. It looks beautiful and it’s so sparkly! I love it.”

“I knew you would so I added the stars on the roof by the chandeliers so it can sparkle even more,” Yoongi softly muttered against your lips as he kissed you again.

“Guys, we’re in the middle of the restaurant,” Jungkook harshly whispered, smiling sheepishly at the other customers before he moved you and Yoongi along to your table.

You snorted in amusement at his actions and sat down in the middle of the booth that gave you guys privacy from any wandering eyes.

“Happy anniversary, baby,” Namjoon said, looking down at you. He softly gripped your chin with his fingers to tilt your head up, kissing you rather deeply and passionately. “Might just take you back home to have you to ourselves. You look way too beautiful.”

“Very,” Taehyung softly said under his breath, his lips attaching themselves to the nape of your neck. They trailed down your shoulder, down your arm until his lips eventually kissed your hand he had in his own. He kiss the back of your hand close to your wedding ring and groaned. “Guys, please. I need her. Let’s go home.”

“No,” Jin spoke, sending him a look. “We promised to take her out.”

Taehyung groaned again, though, this time, more of annoyance. He let his hand wrap itself around your waist to rest on your hip, his fingertips squeezing the flesh there before you ordered your food.

The food was so good and the thought they put into it made your heart beat even harder. They added some meals that you’ve mentioned were your favorite, while also adding in dishes you’ve mentioned before into wanting to try. It was a very diverse menu that didn’t feel too overwhelming or over the top. It was perfect.

You 8 talked about everything, reminiscing about your relationship in the past 4 years, and the way you all grew together to be better people for each other and for yourselves.

“Are your parents still calling?” Hobi asked as he ate, looking at you.

You nodded. “Yeah, they need money. I had to tell them that I will sue them if they take any of my siblings money I give them because… what the hell? It’s not for them.”

Hobi curtly nodded as well, swallowing his food. “Good. They need to start minding their own business. You’re working hard and it’s your money. They’re greedy leeches.”

“Hobi,” you chuckled as you heard his words. He shrugged as if he didn’t say anything. You continued laughing as Taehyung fed you, but he gave you a small stern look that clearly said, “Stop laughing or else you’ll choke on your food and I don’t want to worry.” So, you just resorted to smiling. “I made it clear I wasn’t helping them, so don’t worry.”

“Good,” Jin spoke next, chewing his food. He hummed. “Your parents need to be taught a lesson. They have enough money after what they did.”

You smiled and sighed loudly. “Well, it happened and now I’m much more happier.” You hum under your breath. “Let’s not talk about them today. It’s a happy day for us.”

“Ah, yes,” Jungkook began with a huge smile on his face, “we got married to your pretty ass a year ago. I still say we should’ve married her on the spot once we all realized we had feelings for her.”

Jimin and Taehyung nod simultaneously in agreement.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. “You guys are ridiculous. We got to fully know her in these past years.”

“We shouldn’t have made you wait, right, sweet girl?” Taehyung lowly mumbled, his nose nuzzling your cheek as you giggled to the words he was saying. “We shouldn’t have made you wait this long to be our wife, ours.”

He began kissing you and you kissed him back just as passionate.

“Taehyung,” Jimin snorted out, pulling the man away from you. “Damn, chill.”

“I need her,” Taehyung whispered, going back to kissing you.

The others fidgeted in their seats at seeing you two kiss almost as if it was the first time you two were kissing.

They really needed to tell Taehyung he had to give you room to breathe because the man was so passionate about you he couldn’t not have you.

Namjoon sighed.

“Tae, leave her alone and eat your food,” he sternly said.

Taehyung groaned against your lips like he usually did when he was interrupted. He backed away and looked at you with hooded eyes.

“As soon as we get home, you’re mine,” he muttered, looking away. He cleared his throat and began to eat while you stayed dumbfounded, clearly breathless from the kiss and his words.

Jimin chuckled. He lifted his wine glass. “To us.”

“To us.”

You all simultaneously clinked glasses.

Your proposal was nice. You had let them know that you hated the thought of being proposed in such a public space where paparazzi could easily interrupt your intimate time so, they did proposed in your backyard.

For your wedding, Jae (who was nervous to be in public after confirming her relationship with Hyung-min) and your sister (who was acquitted of her crimes) helped you plan everything out. The boys added their opinions, too, but they wanted you to plan it and they would just give you the money. Whatever you wanted you could have.

Your wedding to the 7 was big. Due to you being South Korea’s most famous actress and the guys were considered to be the most influential businessmen, reporters were eating anything up that involved your wedding.

Once your wedding pictures came out, there was even more traction at seeing how beautiful everything was. It was trending everywhere and it brought more sales to magazines.

“Let’s try for a baby next,” Taehyung said as he swallowed down his wine. You looked at him, as did everyone. “What? Guys, just imagine. It doesn’t have to be right now, of course, but just imagine once she’s pregnant.”

“Let her career grow a bit more,” Yoongi commented, receiving a hum of agreement from you and the others.

“I want to spend more time with you guys before we have a baby,” you softly added. You looked at Taehyung as he nodded in understanding. “Maybe next year or in 2 years. We’ll know. If I end up with child well unexpectedly, it’s also okay, but let’s wait.”

“Whatever you want, beautiful,” Taehyung said, never straying his eyesight away from your face.

“To us.”

“To us.”

You smiled.

“Now,” you placed your wine glass on the table, “why did I get a message from Chan-woo, who is God knows where, that said that you guys are the reason he can’t write anymore?”

“Chan-woo texted you?” Namjoon asked, slowly eating,

You nodded. “Yeah, he texted me today in the morning when I received your flowers which, by the way,” you looked at Jin, Yoongi, and Taehyung, “thank you. They were beautiful.”

They smiled at you.

“Ignore what Chan-woo said,” Jungkook hummed under his breath. “We didn’t do anything to him just… taught him a lesson. He broke his own arm after his sister pushed him off the car for ruining her reputation. It was amusing to see.”

“Yeah, don’t believe anything that asshole said,” Jin said, surprising everyone since he wasn’t one to curse in public. “He’s trying to make you feel guilty. The money we gave him probably ran out.”

“You gave him money?”

“We’re not that cruel, baby,” Namjoon chuckled.

Taehyung hid his smile. “After all, we need to pay him a little visit for texting you. What did he expect?”

“Oh, God…” You muttered under your breath.

Taehyung smirked as did the others.

“Keep saying words like that and we’ll take you home so you could say those while I’m on top—”

You immediately covered Taehyung’s mouth.

“Don’t start.”

Chuckling, his eyes sparkled as he looked at you.

“I love you.”

< before (guys tumblr isn’t letting me link so please just search it up on my account under 🫧 chantaje! update 😭)

[darkpuppysuit]

CHAPTER TWO

Pairing: Hybrid!BTSxReader

Words: 8.6k

WARNINGS: Smoking, Cursing, once again Hybrid puffy-fluffy clouds for the most part.

The night had remained peaceful, the first peaceful night I've had in my entire life actually. I slowly open my eyes with the morning sun and a death grip on my calf and soft snoring behind me, a blonde tail wrapped around my thigh. I don't remember much of anything that happened last night maybe that was a blessing in disguise. I slowly unfurl the fist entangled in my shirt and the grip on my calf tightens.

"Kitten?" Yoongi groans absently and turns over on his side looking at me through heavily lidded eyes as the sun shines on his ever so delicate and pale skin. "I need to get up, there's chores to be done Yoongi." I grumble. "If I stay in this bed any longer nothing's gonna get done." 

I rub my face and slip my leg from his loosened grasp when my phone rings loudly. Jimin bolts upright with a messy head of hair and his eyes still closed. "What the hell is that annoying noise?" I scoff as I reach into my drawer beside me. "It's called rock and roll, oh my gods." I bring out my cell phone to see Emily's name on screen.

"Hello?" I mumble as she screams on the other end. "Y/n M/n L/n! Get your ass out here you got three hot looking mother fuckers having a standoff with me on your front fucking porch!" I wince at her loud voice and she hangs up as quickly as she called. 

I lay back down on the bed and rest my arm over my eyes before I jolt upright smacking my forehead against Yoongi's chin. "Fuck! Why did you move! You were perfectly fine at the edge of the bed!" I rub the area on my forehead that was just assaulted by his chin.

"What do you mean! I heard yelling from the other end of the phone, I was concerned!" He growls the last of his sentence. "That doesn't mean get all up in my business jackass! Are you okay?" I stop rubbing my forehead to take his face into my hands so I can look him over, only when our eyes meet does he stop mumbling curses under his breath.

If I didn't know any better with how wide his eyes are I'd think I was looking at a canine hybrid and not a feline, I could get lost in his caramel colored eyes for the rest of my life and I wouldn't mind. 

Jimin yawns beside me stretching his arms over his head. "You two argue like an old married couple." We break eye contact at his comment and Yoongi was fast to sprint towards the door before turning back to Jimin with a scowl. "Say something like that again I dare you mutt." Yoongi growls his empty threat that turns into a purr almost when he looks to me for a moment, (he doesn't mind being seen like an old married couple, it actually makes his heart flutter a little when he thinks about it) then he trips over the rug in the hallway when he shuffles out. "I guess I better go save her."

Walking out the front door in my pajamas to find not only Namjoon (It was a given he'd be one of the three hybrids outside) but also Jungkook and Taehyung, who are standing the closest to my best friend with their arms crossed and a semi permanent scowl on their face. Taehyung turns around and his whole demeanor changes so quick it almost gives me whiplash.

"Y/n! This one claims to know you." He pouts pointing at Emily who is openly gawking at Jungkook and Namjoon, the wolf hybrid keeping his arms crossed as he looks down to meet my eyes before looking back at the stranger ion my lawn. "Everyone I would like you to meet Emily." I step down from the porch and over to Emily, standing behind her and gently rubbing her forearm to hopefully comfort her. 

"She's been my best friend for fifteen years now and I would appreciate it if you will treat her with the same respect you have for me." I smile as the hybrids that have gathered outside relax a little bit and I look at my best friend. "What the fuck are you doing over here so damn early? Ya stupid bitch."

I push her shoulder and she stumbles only to come back and envelope me into a bone crushing hug. "I haven't had the chance to come over for so long asshole so, I thought I'd surprise you! I didn't expect to get jumped by three very attractive hybrids." My cheeks begin to burn as I look at the three who have turned away from the conversation looking anywhere but me. "I guess I should have told you that I have guests staying here, my bad. You should have called anyways what if I was still sleeping? You would've been stuck out in the heat, dumb cunt."

I bring everyone inside and do some more introductions before Emily follows me upstairs to my bedroom, closing the door behind her she looks at me with her round eyes. "Bitch, when were you going to tell me there is seven of them? Not to mention they're all hot as fuck, I swear give me five minutes with that white tiger and I'll be happy." She exclaims and throws herself onto my bed daydreaming.

"Shut the hell up they can hear you, stupid! Hybrid hearing remember?" I take off my shorts and shirt after I slap her shoulder. "Plus they've only barely been here a day.  I'm supposed to take them to the store for new clothes, I can't have them walking around the farm looking homeless, what if someone calls hybrid control?" 

I button my flannel by the middle button on my chest with a black tank top underneath and my normal blue jeans and socks. "Did they come in before the storm?" She rolls over my bed trying to keep up with my steps around the room. "No, I saw them run into the barn out back during the storm. I was scared they were gonna ransack the damn place, all I saw were like three bodies make it inside before I booked it out there." Emily bursts out laughing at what I thought was going to happen had I not stepped in.

"Wow Y/n, I didn't think you were that into your grandparents old vintage stuff!" I throw a pillow at her face but she quickly snatches it mid-air laughing at my expense. "Hey it's not my fault okay? I hadn't seen any hybrid in weeks and the storm was blowing shit everywhere! Nobody should've been out in all that!" I whisper shout at her putting some perfume and deodorant on. I open my mouth again but it's quickly shut by the doorbell. Emily and I share a wide eyed glance before we're rushing out of the room and down the stairs to the foyer.

Clambering down the stairs with Emily in tow Hoseok was just about to open the door before I push my body against it to swiftly shut the door. "Until the neighbors know you guys are here leave it to me to answer the door. Less bullshit happier Y/n, okay?" Hobi shakes his head and scurries back to the living room with his tail tucked between his legs and I take a deep breath before opening the door again.

"Hi, oh it's just you! How ya doin' John?" I give him an apologetic smile and all the hybrids heads perk up at the mention of another mans name, their ears flick around to the conversation at the door, growling at the masculine scent coming inside. "Hey Y/n, what happened? The door barely opened before it was slammed in my face." John chuckles flashing his charming smile as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and slip my hand into my back pocket biting my bottom lip. 

"Uhm, well funny story actually-" I nervously laugh and was just about to explain to him how I have seven hybrids currently in my house oh and lets not forget they're all men. "Y/n has seven hybrids living with her!" I spin around to face Emily quicker than the speed of light scowling at her whispering bitch I'm gonna fucking kill you in your sleep.

"Seven? That's no big deal. I'm assuming they're all cats or are they dogs? Those are the species you normally deal with aren't they?" I wince and scrunch my nose at him. "Well, not exactly John, just come in and you'll see what I mean." I pull him into the house and close the door behind him. 

When I stand next to him all of the hybrids have stood and are in a line in front of the stairs. Jungkook looks like he's about to charge poor John meanwhile Namjoon and Yoongi are glowering at him with such a thick fuck around and find out aura around them my breath hitches in my throat.

"U-uhm, John these are the hybrids I was talking about." He looks between my short stature then back at the seven men standing in front of him. "You didn't tell me they were all guys." Surprisingly it's Jin who scoffs at him followed by an irritated eye roll.

"I don't think she has to mention that to anyone." I tilt my head at him as our eyes meet for a moment and his stern look falters for a second before he returns to scowling at the man next to me. "Right, anyways let me introduce you."

Once introductions are out of the way I drag Emily to the kitchen and John follows behind her. "Fuck that was intense. You could cut the tension with a fucking chainsaw." I slump in my chair and rub my temples a deep sigh leaving my lips. "No joke, what was up with that?" I lean back in my chair and let my head hang over the back when John chimes in.

"They're territorial, especially that wolf hybrid. Have you even talked to them about staying or going yet?" I snap my head up and look across the table at him with tired eyes. I haven't thought to ask them, they've spent one day here and I'm already almost completely attached to them.

"No, I just assumed they would eat, rest and move on like all the others in the past. But they did help me move the fallen branches to the burn pile. Dove absolutely loves Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung, she seems so much happier with them around."

I run my hands down my face and through my hair finally calming down from the adrenaline rush from earlier. "You need to ask them because from the intense vibe from earlier I think their less rational animalistic side sees this as their home already but the rational human part of them is waiting to be told to get the hell out of dodge." 

Emily takes my hands in hers and looks me directly in my eyes. "Just talk to them babes, I'm sure you can figure something out, besides if you don't keep them here- I'll happily take that fluffy haired tiger with me." I roll my eyes and push her hard enough to knock her down and out of her chair (Pretty sure she rolled off though).

"There's no need for violence!" She shouts and I laugh hysterically and point at her before I turn my attention back to John. "Hey John did you need something? You don't usually come over unless it's about your grandfather's horses or cattle."

Poor John is a city boy but was the only one willing to help his grandfather out with his own, smaller farm just up the road. Bless this mans heart. "Oh yeah that's right my grandad was hoping you'd take this mustang he got at the auction a couple nights ago, says she knows how to break horses real good. His words not mine." He raises his hands up and leans back in the chair.

"He's probably kicking up a storm in your front yard in the horse trailer right about now." I stare at him for a moment as Emily sits in the chair next to him throwing me a shady look. "A mustang? Here, as in right now? Ugh, let me get my boots on." I roll my eyes and stomp to the nook in front of the door. Before we even step outside I can hear whining and the trailer banging around outside.

When we do step outside the trailer is moving side to side. "How did you even get him in the trailer?" I look up to John who stands next to me with his hands in his pockets and his brows furrowed. "Lots of pulling and staying the fuck out of his way once he was in." Nodding I cautiously walk forward to the trailer and the mustang inside stops for a moment. I open the door to grab the rope around his jaw so I can pull him forward- he was a beautiful ash grey and the socks on his feet were black along with his mane and tail of course.

"Easy now sweetheart, I'm gonna get you all settled in the stables alright?" The horse stamps the trailer floor a few times nodding his head up and down and I start to lead him when he suddenly lurches forward taking me with him, letting out a blood curdling scream that has everyone flying outside yelling at me to let go of the rope but I can't hear them over the stomping hooves so close to my ear.

"Son of a bitch!" I manage to swing my feet out in front of me and dig my heels into the mud, using the upcoming mound of rocks to help me jump onto the bareback of the horse. I quickly let go of the rope and tangle my fingers in its long black mane pulling hard.

I grit my teeth hard as he instantly starts bucking in the air trying with all his might to buck me off onto the grass of my backyard but I hold on for dear life while digging my spurs into his sides. "Goddammit! Just go down already you bastard!" I speak through gritted teeth as Jungkook watches on, loving the way I bark curse words and grunts at the horse. 

"That's so hot." He mumbles under his breath- hoping nobody heard him, having not so holy thoughts. He quickly shakes the porn-like images from his head before looking up again and smiling. Namjoon looks worried for a change as he pulls at the ends of his hair in anticipation waiting for the worst to happen, beside him is Jin who's worked up in a similar fashion only softly biting his nails.

Hoseok and Yoongi have to hold back both Taehyung and Jimin from running out into harms way just to try and help, Yoongi keeps repeating. "This is what she does for a living guys, calm down." Like a broken record and it's not until a few grueling minutes later of practically wrestling with the horse that could easily fall to the side and break my leg or worse, the mustang slows down significantly with his head hung low panting against the dirt underneath him.

I reach down and pat his neck then gently rubbing it trying to catch my own breath so I talk between gasps of air. "See? I told y-you would lose." I tilt my head down and take a deep breath letting out a tired sigh before I lead him over to the stable shouting back at John. "I'll keep him for a few days to make sure he's completely broke in!" I give him a thumbs up and a tip of my hat that he quickly returns with a smile.

I walk inside toeing off my boots a little more worse for wear than when my day first started and I slump onto the couch resting my head on the back of it. I take a deep breath and I close my eyes for a few minutes before they shoot open again raising my hands out in front of me while quickly sitting up taking another deep breath through my nose.

"Y/n-ie? Are you okay?" Jimin asks shuffling his feet to stand next to me, I look up at him from the couch. "Yeah, I'm okay bub. I want to take you guys to the store so you don't look so, homeless? I'm sure there's a better word for it but yeah." I rub my face before looking back at him with his holy shirt, tattered jeans and shredded dress shoes.

"You want to get us new clothes?" He asks shyly wrapping his tail around his middle, which seems to be a nervous tic of his- like Hoseok does when he tucks his tail between his legs. I smile at him and pat the spot next to me for him to sit and I ruffle his hair, his cheeks change to that cute pink color I like so much. 

"Of course I do, and shoes and hygiene supplies or whatever else you guys want." I start rubbing his back when Hoseok walks in with a sandwich in hand munching away. "I hope you don't mind I helped myself to the fridge." He takes another bite, sitting next to me he offers me some. "N-no I'm okay." I put my hand up and shake my head but he doesn't take no for an answer and insists I take at least one bite before we run out the door again.

I roll my eyes and take a bite from the fox hybrid just to appease him as he stares at me intently. Standing up I call for the rest of the guys to meet me in the living room. Better time than never for that awkward conversation to take place before I take them to the store. That might just be my nerves talking though...

Yoongi is the last to show up as he shuffles his feet across the rug half asleep to sit in the easy chair across from me and I take a look around the room to make sure I have every body counting their heads, they're spread out in the living room and I stand in the archway to look at all of them. "Okay, this is an important conversation we should've had the night you came in, I know you've only been here a day and I know some of us didn't get off on the right foot."

I glance in Namjoon's direction barely making eye contact before he quickly looks at a random painting on the wall to his left rubbing the back of his head. "But I would be forever grateful if you guys would stay." I look up from gazing at the wolf and their heads have snapped in my direction staring, I take a deep breath before continuing. "This ain't easy for me to admit that I need help with the chores this place demands of me. It's a total of eighty acres for fuck sake, it stretches from the dirt road out front all the way to the creek in the back. Now, you don't h-have to stay here if you don't want to and I'm okay with that too. When you're here you can do whatever you want." 

Looking around the room my heart swells a little more to see them thinking about it so intently with hushed whispers but it also makes me nervous because they could possibly walk out of this house and never return once they walk out that door.

My heart is hoping maybe, just maybe, they'll stay not only to help out around the farm but to also stay with me, keep me company. I've been alone for so long not only physically but mentally as well, drained from mundane interactions with other people and hybrids alike. 

But it isn't like that with them for some reason I feel a constant tugging on my heart strings to shower them with anything  I can, especially affection. I have to come back to reality more often than not when I get lost in my thoughts. "You don't have to answer right now because I still need to figure out how to get all of you into the truck so we can get you some new, clean clothes and whatever else you guys want."

Hoseok and Jimin's tails are going a mile a minute and their shining smiles are wider than I've ever seen before. "You mean you want us to stay here? With you and Dove?" Their matched energy levels have leaped through the ceiling so much that I have to raise a hand up to get them to calm down. "I do Hoseok, but it's your decision not mine. I won't make you stay here against your will or work you to the bone either. Being here you will be treated like any human being would be treated, fairly and with respect. It's the southern way after all."  

After getting my boots back on, pulling the keys out of my pocket and some arguing from a few of the hybrids that have now all piled in the truck. Jimin is sitting next to me on the bench seat holding my hand his fingers laced with mine, nuzzling into my side meanwhile Jin is riding in the passenger space, stating he has seniority because he's the eldest.

He sits close to the door but still has his arm draped over the back of the bench seat playing with the ends of my hair. Meanwhile Namjoon, Taehyung, Hoseok and Yoongi are sitting in the back trying to make room for Jungkook. After a few minutes of struggling with his antlers hitting the ceiling repeatedly he decides he's just going to sit in the bed of the truck and we are off towards town with good music blaring down the old dirt road. 

I put the truck in park and turn it off, taking a deep breath I open the door and everyone follows me to the bed of the truck. "How was it?" I ask Jungkook as he jumps from the tailgate. "You need to take those fucking turns slower- was thrown to the side of the truck more than a few times." He chuckles scratching behind his halo antlers and my eyes look him over as I grab his face down to his shoulders.

"Fuck I'm sorry are you alright?" I keep looking him over while his smile turns into a smirk. "Damn Y/n if you wanted to feel me up this bad all you had to do was ask." I swiftly retract my hands blush creeping in from my ears down to my cheeks and neck as I playfully punch his arm.

"That's not what I was doing! There's equipment in the back, it could've hurt you, cocky little shit." I turn around and roll my eyes at nobody in particular and guide them into the hybrid outfitters. Upon entering the retail store the staring is endless, everywhere I look there's somebody and their hybrid or little kid staring. If looks could kill I'd be dead and buried six feet under.

Soon two shopping carts are being filled to the brim with clothes, toys and bathroom supplies, just as I turn the corner into the collar aisle to keep myself busy while the rest of them shop with Taehyung and Jin on either side of me.

A lady who by her appearance didn't belong in this small town hybrid shop, she was in a dress that came down to her knees and it sparkled like the sun with every step she took with heels on her feet clicking against the tile and jewelry I would never be able to afford on my own hanging from her ears and neck. 

"Hi young lady I'm sorry to disturb your shopping but, how much for your snow tiger hybrid?" I look up from the silver collar that looked more like a chain necklace than a collar, slowly turning my head towards Miss money with my eyebrows knitted together.

"What makes you think he's for sale in the first place?" I snap at her grimacing, burning holes into the side of her head as she openly ogles at both Taehyung and Jin who look very uncomfortable shuffling their feet around like the bitch talks about them like they're not even here, completely ignoring me.

"Oh why don't I just take both of them off of your hands? By the looks of it you have enough problems to worry about, please money is no issue." She looks me up and down, my clothes still partially covered by mud and dirt with a disgusted look on her face before she reaches for her pocket book to write me a check.

"How much do you want?" With her pen at the ready to write down whatever amount I decided. I snatch the pen from her hand and chuck it across the aisle, pointing at her getting a little too close for her comfort. I couldn't help it I was seeing red pissed at her ignorance and blatant disrespect for both me and the boys.

"Listen lady I know how your kind works. You buy hybrids have fun with them around for a few days then treat them like cow shit on the bottom of your boot and throw them out when you're done with them. They are not a problem nor will they ever be a fucking problem." Fire burned in my eyes as I stared her down down like predator and prey, her eyes were blown wide and she almost looked offended as she scoffed. "So take your checkbook and get the fuck out of my face." I scoff and turn around the fury still boiling within my veins. 

Once out of the aisle and out of earshot I stop to take a deep breath and let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose I pat Taehyung and Jin on the back giving them a small squeeze with my hands on the side of their waists.

"I'm sorry for going off like that she just, ugh, people like her piss me off. She's obviously never worked a day in her life and thinks money makes everything so much easier to get what she wants. I mean it does but that's not my point." I completely wrap my arms around each of their waist in a side hug before they share a glance and quickly envelope me in a warm almost bone crushing embrace. 

Taehyung and Jin rub their noses against either side of my neck sending shivers down my spine and I can't but smile "Thank you Y/n for protecting us like that. You have no idea how much it means to us." Jin purrs and Taehyung nods in agreement, a soft chuff leaving his throat before pulling back their pupils slightly blown out from the scenting they just did.

"One of these days you guys are gonna have to tell me how your needs as a hybrid work, besides the basics of course." I giggle, a sound they haven't heard slip past my lips before and they decide from then and there they need to hear it more often. 

Moving forward to the electronic section of the store Jimin comes running towards the cart with a pile of clothes mixed with a few odds and ends. "Y/n-ie! Can I have this? Please?" he dumps the clothes into the cart holding up a duck toy for me to see and I smile at him, my eyes shining at his childish pout.

"Of course get whatever you want, I'm gonna get you guys some phones that way you can call me if you need something and I'm not around." I rub the top of his head the smile on his face makes my cheeks hurt for him with how wide it is. "Okay! I'm gonna go find Hobi and show him my duck!" He runs off towards the shoe section at the speed of light as I get their phones squared away.

Soon it's time to check out, I don't pay much attention to the way the clerk is ogling over the seven hybrids around the checkout lane, especially Jungkook. I count their heads to make sure I have everyone. "You seem to have your hands full huh? I bet they're a lot of fun at home especially that elk of yours."

It seems today is the day to test my short fuse of patience and anger for a second time, Taehyung looks over trying to gauge my reaction, the aroma of burnt leather and ashy cedar filling everyone's noses and he is quick to slither his tail around my waist I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down. 

The guys can plainly smell the burnt leather and ashy cedarwood stinging their noses like a forest fire by now when I turn to look at her like an insect that had to be gotten rid of as soon as possible. I open my mouth to speak but she's quick to cut me off with a gross smirk on her face. "I mean if he's too much to handle in the bedroom, I'll take him home with me." I look back to Jungkook whose eyes are as wide as saucers making him look as innocent as a little bunny, had it not been for the tattoos, piercings, and cocky ass attitude I would've believed those eyes.

She scans the duck last because Jimin just would not let it go to save his life, once his duckie was scanned I'm quick to pluck it out of the plastic bag and hand it back to him with a smile before turning my attention back to the woman in front of me, stoned face and pissed off, leaning over the counter a little, pointing my finger in her face, my words laced with venom.

"Listen bitch first of all he's a Yukon moose anyone with two perfectly good eyeballs can see that much. Secondly, I've already had to deal with one of you sick fucks today and if you want to keep your job I suggest you keep your horny comments to your motherfucking self. Okay? Sweetheart." I growl and lean back barely touching Taehyungs chest with my back and put on a fake smile then take a wad of cash out of my back pocket and hand it to her gritting my teeth.

I haul my ass up into the truck slamming the door shut, we managed to make room for Jungkook in the front next to Jin who has traded spots with Jimin, currently too entranced by his new toy to pay attention to much of anything.

Jin rubs my shoulder in an attempt to calm my frayed nerves. "That shit, is exactly why I don't leave the farm as much anymore. Gods, the filth that walks this world thinking hybrids are anything less than human are an abomination." I growl out causing Taehyung to sit forward on the bench seat behind me to play with my hair in an attempt to soothe me.

"Don't worry about it too much Y/n, we're used to getting those kind of comments." Namjoon sighs pulling his tail out from under him as he climbs into the truck and sits down followed by Yoongi and Hoseok. "I don't care if it's the most normal thing on the planet! It grinds my gears that they can say or do anything they want and get away with it especially miss money in the collar aisle." I let out another low grunt that has the whole truck go silent the entire way back to the house.

I sit in the lazy chair flipping through the channels on the TV while the boys are upstairs getting their things sorted. I stop on the local news channel and stare at the headline "Local man let out of prison two years early for good behavior." I can't believe my eyes when he shows up on screen, his fugly smile and crooked teeth grossing me out and if it wasn't for the way he stared into the camera when he talked like he was staring directly into my soul I would have heard Namjoon trying to talk to me- asking me something about a spare room or maybe books?

"Earth to Y/n, return from orbit." Waving his hand in front of my face I look up at him with wide mentally absent eyes and my bottom lip quivering, the tears collecting in my eyes threaten to spill as he swiftly sits down and wraps his large arms around me.

"What's wrong pup?" He holds me close rubbing my bicep and scenting the top of my head with his chin as I stare at the floor. After a few minutes and Yoongi sitting down next to me nuzzling his nose into my neck scenting just like Namjoon is on my other side do I start to become lucid again. 

"Kit, you need to tell us what you're thinking about. We don't want another episode." Yoongi's purr is low and I take a peek at the TV again and it's changed to something else entirely so I shut it off. "It's nothing, don't worry about it okay?" I break out of their grasp with a fake smile only to be pulled sideways onto Namjoons lap with a small yelp.

"You don't have to tell us right now but you're not moving until your scent dies down a little." Namjoon can still smell the forest fire coming off of me in waves, he gently circles his arms around my waist and I set my hands awkwardly around his shoulders and on his broad chest as he pulls my body close. His nose meets my neck gently rubbing against it which causes me to shiver and close my eyes trying not to start crying in front of them.

Yoongi joins the scenting by pressing his chest to my back and rubbing his cheek against the nape of my neck laying an arm over my opposite shoulder while the other slips through Namjoons grip to rest his hand on my thigh and I tense up at the close contact with the wolf and panther hybrid purring loud enough for the whole house to hear.

_________

"Hey look at that." Jungkook slaps Jins shoulder and he turns away from the sink long enough to see Y/n resting on Namjoon's lap with Yoongi pressed against her back, the two alpha hybrids completely lost in scenting and soothing her. "She looks like she's about to pass out. If they don't stop soon they're alphas are going to snap. Last thing we need is a feral fight in the living room with Y/n caught in the middle." Jin worriedly goes back to washing the few dishes in the sink trying to think of a good way to get them off of her without one of them ripping his throat out. 

"Yeah you're right, as entertaining as that would be the last thing we need to do is scare her away or for her to change her mind completely, kicking us out." Jungkook pats new his dirt-less pants looking around the room waiting when he glances back at the jaguar hybrid who's already staring at him with an are you serious expression on his face before rolling his eyes. "What? I didn't do anything." He shrugs his shoulders as Jin turns the faucet off and dries his hands. 

"Exactly, why does it always have to be me?" He complains aggressively throwing the towel onto the stovetop before putting it where it actually belongs. "Because Namjoon actually likes you, he tolerates me and you're older than literally everyone in the house." Now, Jungkook wasn't wrong very often and he did have a few good annoying little points.

"Fine but if I lose a limb you're taking me to the hospital. You know how their alphas could react, especially Yoongi's when it comes to someone as broken as her. All they want to do is fix her the best way they know how to." Jin whispers, ever so slowly making his way into the living room across the foyer where Y/n and the other two have been for the last hour. 

Standing in front of the small cuddle puddle he lightly taps the wolf hybrids shoulder repeatedly. "Joon. Hey, Joonie. Namjoon!" Jin shouts his name smacking his shoulder with a crisp slap and Namjoon's head shoots upright from where it was nuzzled into Y/n's neck.

His eyes are completely blown out and a deep rumble coming from his chest pulling her sleeping form closer to his body making Yoongi growl softly from the other side. "I'm sorry but you two are scenting up the entire house we can hardly breathe. Do you want me to ta-" 

Jins voice is cut off by not one but two low almost guttural snarls which causes him to take a step or two back raising his hands level with his shoulders. "Or, you two can take her to her room yourself I don't care, I just want to be able to breath again without my nose being assaulted." He shoots back noting how the two of them refuse to remove themselves and go somewhere else.

"Come on Joon we all talked about this at the store, promised to share her no matter what." There's a small pause in both of their movements only now remembering the promise they made as a pack of mismatched hybrids if they were to stay in this house. "The fact that you two aren't responding coherently is making my skin itch. At least carry her up to her room that way we have a door to shut."

Namjoon carries Y/n to her bedroom briefly coming back to reality when she shifts in his arms tightening her grip on his shoulders and around his waist where he holds her by the back of her thighs when he reached her door.

Yoongi opens the small double doors to her room and saunters in like he owns the place claiming his spot under the covers on the far side of her bed making room for Y/n. 

He could care less if Namjoon was to join, his only priority at the moment is to keep alpha's kitten safe and far away from harm, whatever had caused that horrid burnt leather and wet cedar smell to attack his nose earlier he'd be sure to correct it as soon as possible.

Laying her onto the bed she shifts a little when her hot skin meets the cold sheets below, the two men freeze and she quickly finds Yoongi, her personal heater, rolling into him with a small smile on her face as she cuddles in close encasing his torso with her arm laying her other hand on his chest then she stills once again. 

Namjoon slowly and gently slides against her back putting his arm underneath her head and his other arm wraps around her belly, rubbing it in short strokes his alpha wondering how round she would become, filled with his pups and raising them like the father he always dreamed of being.

Yoongi is thinking along those same lines pulling her leg onto his hip and slotting his leg between hers so he could be in some way closer to her. His alpha scratching at the door demanding him to take her right now but he manages to fend him off just enough because he knew if he let his alpha win he could hurt her in more ways than one and that's the last thing he wanted, not when this was all still so new but not quite foreign, not just for him but for everyone involved.

___________

A few hours later, downstairs in the kitchen Seokjin is desperately trying to fix something for them to eat. "This is fucking stupid, how does she find anything in this mess?" He grumbles to nobody in particular as he stands inside the pantry with his arms crossed over his chest, tapping his foot impatiently on the tile below while biting his bottom lip in concentration. The pantry was indeed all over the place and nothing was organized which made Seokjin's ears twitch and his tail flick in frustration. 

"Simple, it's her house." Jungkook snickers from the open sliding glass door to the back porch with a lit cigarette from the pack Y/n had bought him earlier poised between his lips taking a long drag. Seokjin rolls his eyes then saunters out of the pantry with a baking pan, a can of butter biscuits and two pounds of sausage and some bacon too.

He sets the items in his hands on the counter putting his hands on his hips staring at the pile in front of him. Hoseok and Taehyung run down the stairs towards the back porch when Hoseok stops mid jog to tap Seokjin on the shoulder. 

"Hey, what are you going to cook with all of that?" He asks curiously as he looks over the jaguar hybrid's broad shoulders. "I was thinking biscuits and gravy for dinner but I'm not good at making any type of gravy, the gravy is always way too thin to be considered a gravy."

Seokjin sighs in frustration while rubbing his face with both hands meanwhile Hoseok is running some scalding hot water in the sink to thaw the frozen meat. "That's a lot of gravy for one sentence, also, why don't you ask Y/n for help? Where is she anyways?" 

Hoseok asks as he turns the water off and sets the two pounds of meat into the sink. "Oh hell no, I'm not getting involved in all that, I like to keep all limbs inside the cart at all times thank you. Those two alphas would tear me apart if I even so much as stepped anywhere near her bedroom right now. I honestly thought they were going to rip my head off when I offered to take her upstairs from their puddle in the living room." Seokjin sputters his words out and takes a deep much needed breath before turning to the stove with the can of biscuits in hand trying to read the small print on the side. 

"Oh shit, really? Both of them have her? Tha- I don't know Jinnie is it honestly a good idea to let them get attached to her this quick? Anything could happen." Hoseok's cautious nature stems from his previous owners' many empty promises and lies, he couldn't trust a lot of hybrids that weren't the six of them much less humans. "They're not going to do anything unless she asks them personally, we talked about this at the store when you were testing out your new running shoes." He takes a look at the fox hybrid's new multi-colored shoes then up to meet his eyes with a playful yet sarcastic smile. "Also, don't call me that ever again." 

________________

Y/n's eyes slowly flutter open when she smells the biscuits wafting their delicious aroma through her nearby air vent from the kitchen below her room. She tries to sit up but her movements are restricted by a pair of arms. Wait, no, two pairs of arms, and legs?

Her breathing picks up and her eyes dart upwards to see a serenely sleeping Yoongi and her body starts to relax just a bit when the other pair of arms starts rubbing her soft belly followed by a sickly sweet soft purr vibrating her back and she turns her head to look behind her the best she can and spies a grey ear with a puff of ivory white at the tip knowing the only one with those colored ears is Namjoon her heartbeat completely relaxes to a calm thump. 

Her eyes remain open though, her mind racing trying to think about how she got to her room but by the two hybrids sleeping peacefully and purring in her bed that question was already answered for her and she shifts so she could lay on her back between the two.

She looks up at Namjoon again, the soft orange glow of her bedside lamp making his features look darker than they already were with his tanned skin. Taking a small breath caught in his glow of tranquility as he snores softly, like a light low hum with his lips slightly parted showing the faintest hint of his canines. 

She reaches her hand up ever so slowly and ghosts her fingers across what she thought was a soft jawline until he closed his mouth, setting his jaw, leaning into her touch absently. His jawline is sharp but even so, his face is still as soft as the portion of his heart that he always swore to keep anyone from hurting again. 

"Hey pup." His voice is dangerously low and gruff like he had been sleeping for years before he coughs, opening his dragon-like eyes tilting his chin downwards to look into her shining orbs only vaguely noticing a few letters to a tattoo on her collarbone. "Something smells good, huh?" The smile he flashes is almost blinding as he begins to stretch his stiff muscles from holding onto Y/n so tightly for who knew how long. "H-hi, u-uhm." Y/n can hardly form a coherent sentence when the panther hybrid next to her begins to stir from his heavy slumber. 

"I hope whoever's cooking doesn't set your kitchen on fire." Yoongi grunts as he slithers his arm around her hips and hooks his thumb into her belt loop on her pants, signaling that he isn't ready to let go much less physically get up right now. Namjoon's eyes have almost gone back to normal thankfully, he nudges her nose with his absently laying his large hand back onto her squishy belly.

"It's probably Jin, whatever he's cooking smells good, also, I wouldn't worry too much unless I was the one in the kitchen cooking." Namjoon jokes chuckling to himself as Yoongi just huffs, Y/n returns her attention from the hand looped in her jeans back to the wolf hybrid, noticing the dimples on his cheeks that poke out when he smiles. If she could see those everyday life could, possibly, be peaceful. 

Then there's a sudden loud crash from downstairs Y/n jolts upwards on pure instinct, fumbling out of their hold and over Namjoons long ass legs, possibly kneeing him in the groin on the way over. Falling onto the floor unceremoniously with a hard thud as her knees hit the floor first practically throwing her bedroom doors open and running at what felt like the speed of light into the kitchen.

____________

"What happened? Who's hurt?  Who needs their heads knocked together?" She shouts as she slides into the archway between the kitchen and foyer to see Hoseok and Jimin covered in what she could only think was a sad attempt at gravy with Jimin's duck at Jins fallen form and she's quick to ignore the fox and retriever for a moment, falling next to Seokjin to check on the jaguar hybrid. "Oh my god Jinnie, are you alright? You look a complete mess darlin'." 

Y/n smiles empathetically towards the hybrid with her sweet accent like a tooth rotting melody to everyone's ears, she tilts his chin up for him to look at her so she could check for injuries but what Seokjin saw was something completely different. 

What Seokjin saw was a human, someone other than his mismatched packmates, worried about him and to make things even more difficult, her hair was draped over her shoulder ever so delicately and her plush pink lips sucked between her teeth as she smiles, like some other force was trying to make his knees buckle had they not already done so when he had slipped on Jimin's toy and the pot had fallen from his grasp. She looked other worldly her eyes shining against the fluorescent light of the kitchen showing just a flash of beautiful golden brown surrounding her pupil.

"Earth to Jin? Are you there honey?" Y/n snaps her fingers in front of his face and only then did Seokjin realize there was a crowd in the kitchen staring at him waiting for an answer and he chuckles softly then shakes his head a bright red blush stemming down from his ears down to his cheeks.

"Yeah I'm alright, perfect actually." His cheeks are a rosy pink and Y/n giggles lightly and stands to her feet, holding a hand out to help him stand up with her which he took happily as Yoongi finally came downstairs dragging his feet along the hardwood floor. 

"What the hell happened and what's dripping from the ceiling?" He asks surveying the area with squinted eyes, index finger pointing upwards and Y/n's shoulders start shaking as she tries to hold back her laugh with all three "gravy" covered hybrid's forming a small half circle around her. "Y/N? You're not mad are you? It was my fault I swear, I-I threw the duck too far and-" Jimin's words are cut off when Y/n bursts into shameless laughter covering her mouth from view as she grabs her stomach from laughing so hard. 

After a few more seconds of laughter and tears from Y/n she lets out a huff of air wiping a happy tear from her face. "I'm sorry, guys." She holds back a giggle that hums in her throat as she replays previous events screwing her eyes closed for a moment before she looks up at the ceiling again. "You just- you got it all the way up there? That's amazing." This time her laugh is  softer keeping her smile from view with the back of her hand. 

After everyone that was involved in the gravy accident, a memory that will stay with all of them for the rest of their lives was done taking a shower, Y/n stands in front of the stove with the same pot from earlier (Yes they washed it) with Jin standing half next to her half looming over her shoulder. "Now, I'm going to whisk the liquid while you sift some flower into the pot. The sifter is in the top shelf of the cabinet to your right." 

Y/n instructs Seokjin and he is able to find the sifter rather quickly, bringing it over to her and gently placing a small amount of flour onto the screen below. Turning the small handle the bar inside begins to sift the flour into the pot. "Good job Jinnie." She praises him as she keeps the soon to be actual gravy from clumping together, once the flour was gone and the liquid began to thicken Y/n steps to the side turning the heat to low before putting some salt and pepper to taste.

"And that my dear is how gravy is done!" Seokjin looks at the pot below in awe, he knew he had a few things to work on if he was going to be able to keep up with her,  especially outside. Soon dinner was served with freshly baked flakey butter biscuits, sausage, bacon, and eggs.

Y/n wipes her hands off on the apron she had put on just in case there was another accident,  turning her back to the hybrids that had gathered around once the plate of fried eggs was sat onto the table, getting a head start on cleaning the kitchen when the low moan of a chair made her jump a little before a set of large hands found their perch on both of her shoulders.

"I think that can wait, don't you?" A low chuff and a warm chest meets her back and she stiffens, why are they sticking to me like glue? She asked herself, turning around to face him while taking the apron off and pushing on his chest to get him to backup a little, the heat radiating off his body causing her to blush at his close proximity. 

Taehyung takes this opportunity to look into her eyes, the blue hue of them so faint they almost look silver with an enchanting golden ring dancing around her pupils. Compared to his own boring milk chocolate orbs staring into hers, it was like a galaxy trapped for eternity within her gaze.

"I-I need a cigarette, or five. E-excuse m-me." Stumbling over her words and practically bolting outside, accidently slamming the sliding glass door shut so hard they swear the glass was going to shatter. The snow tiger hybrid stands in the middle of the kitchen her apron in hand staring at the door Y/n disappeared through blinking slowly. "Way to go Casanova." Jimin scoffs rolling his eyes, meanwhile Y/n is pacing back and forth on the porch with her second cigarette halfway gone already. 

[chimcess]

Time After Time || jhs (Teaser)

Pairing: Time Traveler!Hoseok x Time Traveler!ReaderOther Tags: Scientist!Hoseok, Author!Reader, British!Hoseok, Older!Hoseok, Age Gap!AU Genre: Time Travel!AU, Early 2000s AU, Strangers to Lovers, Idiots to Lovers, Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut Word Count: TBD Summary: You're a young time traveler, drifting seamlessly between the past and present, living a fragmented life, never staying long enough in one time to form lasting connections. Everything changes upon encountering Hoseok, a brilliant scientist you had met in one of your adventures. Your journey takes a darker turn when you uncover the truth behind your mother's death, revealing a chilling connection to your abilities and the grim reality that your days are numbered. Determined to defy fate, Hoseok tirelessly searches for a solution to save you. As time becomes both an ally and an enemy, you face immense challenges, testing the resolve and strength of your bond. A/N: We have a new mini-series coming! Diving back into the fantasy genre has been really exciting, and I'm so happy to have this for you all. After spending the last year writing this off and on in between my other projects, it's finally finished and ready to start the final editing phase! I hope you love these characters as much as I do and enjoy the little world I crafted!

I had never given much thought to how I’d die. Two months, two years, two decades- it did not matter. Never could I have guessed this would be my final moments, body shaking and unable to stop myself from sizing as I watched my life flashing before my eyes. Every memory whip past me, body going in and out of the past and present in rapid succession until I could no longer breathe. Still, as afraid as I was, I never allowed my eyes to shut. If I was going to die, I wanted- needed- to see him first. My eyes rolled back, another powerful seizure overtaking my body.

“Y/N!”

I could not muster the strength to come back into my own body yet. On the inside I smiled. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry things had to end like this. That I would miss him. That I loved him. All the words that I was never able to say no matter the thousands of times they were on my lips. I felt hands grabbing hold of me. It was no use, I could feel my body bursting into another ray of light.

“What’s happening to you?” He sobbed.

Finally able to speak, I looked at him. I cemented him into memory. His thin-wired glasses, the color of his eyes, the curve of his cheek, the shape of his lips, and how wet his face was from his tears. If this was the last moment I had with him, I wanted it to matter. Reaching out, I could only hope I had enough time to say something- anything.

“I think I’m dying,” I croaked, head splitting open and body about to be taken somewhere else. Somewhere he wasn’t. “I love you.”

“I-”

But I never got to hear what he wanted to say. For my body was already getting sent back through time. Where? I was not certain, but I knew I was going to die at the end of this. There was no way my body could handle such violent changes. I closed my eyes.

At least I got to say it.

Coming September 2024...

Message/Ask/Comment to be added to the taglist.