#jezza kyle

[hermetichermethermes]

I just found out that our disgraced national treasure, Jeremy Kyle has done the classic Right Wing Pivot. He's moved on from manufacturing false situations and manipulating poor people on his namesake show, now he anchors for TalkTV doing the classic tabloidesque reporting on such timeless tropes as "immigrants = big bad and behind all social ills" and "god damn Poors on the Dole™ getting more money than nurses".

Good to know that the lil domestic abuser has moved on and remained undeterred by the axing of his False "Reality Show".

I sure wouldn't mind his blowing up in a car full of hammers , that's for sure.

[guiltygearxrd2]

no one fucking told me that bridgerton is just jezza kyle for dnd players what the fuck man

[rinhaler]

i fancied jeremy kyle when i was like 16 is that bad 🫠

NAWT JEZZA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[waglifeornolife]

Where is Jeremy Kyle when you need him

jezza, fancy doing a one off?

[meetrex]

Rex was invited on the set of Jeremy Kyle to surprise Finley, a very special and very brave little boy!

[fags-whiskey-razorblades]

PLL and Jezza Kyle day Need to cheer up

[thatpapsmearrrrr]

I want to catch penguins and call them all Graham.

[voyager221141]

“Grannies are supposed to knit, not roll a spliff!”

Jeremy Kyle

[redwylde]

I watch Jeremy Kyle for the controversy.

[jegulusofwesper]

Do they all have to get their teeth done before they go on? Like you never see anyone with Jezza teeth they’re always sparkling

My love island thread 🏝 🧵

[pastelbabekunst]

He can keep it

[balillee]

i reckon dream smp characters would star in a fucking incredible episode of the jeremy kyle show

jeremy: and, according to the dna results, you are not tommyinnit's older brother!

wilbur: *holding jezza at gunpoint* i think you better read that again fella

jeremy: and in this episode, we're going to be dealing with a trio of guys who split up after an amnesic episode led to one of them being excluded from the foundations of their new country!

jeremy: so this here envelope will reveal the true, legal owner of the discs mellohi and cat. open it, dream, you prick

dream: *absolutely fucking seething*

[fireblight]

“i don’t want to look ‘pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.” bitch mom getting ready to go out on a date

          fine then, don’t take her compliment. Not like she’s the only one sitting here, keeping him company, as he fusses over his appearance. Not as if she has better things to do. She swallows the temptation to sighーit’d only make troubleーand tries to try again. ❛Oh, trust me, you don’t have to do much to achieve that, Orochimaru-sama.❜ Unlike the usual that pours from her mouth, this is actually honest. After all, regardless of the positive or negative interpretations, there is no denying that he fits those particular traits. ❛I wouldn’t say vaguely, though.❜

[faunahudson]

I feel like all those episodes of Jezza Kyle and Doctor Phil should have prepared me for the day that my Dad got a girlfriend who’s my age.. and yet no.. no they absolutely did not. Like don’t get me wrong I always knew my Dad would win sleaze bag of the year award someday.. I guess I just didn’t think that 2021 would be the year that he won.

[aintenoughjack]

ITS LIKE CHICO ALL OVER AGAIN

[footballffbarbiex]

Imagine Virgil asking you if he can fuck you bare for the first time

I think the ask says it all. Protection is important though. As Jezza Kyle would say, put something on the end of it. 

______

Without. 

You’re straddling his hips, covering his body with your own as you kiss him. His tongue mixes with yours, your clothed core presses against his erection as you circle your own hips. His hands are all over you, smoothing over your spine, your waist, your thighs and holding you in place as he grips your ass; moving your body at a slow pace, and pulling you down against his cock.

With each rock, your clit traces the ridges of the head of his dick, sending pleasure waves throughout you and making you moan softly into his mouth. You can feel the vibration travel from you and through to his tongue. He bucks up to you, his hands still keeping you in place so that you can’t move from him.

“We don’t have long.” You mumble against his kiss. You should have taken him up on the offer to go to his but instead, here you both are, rushing against the clock while wishing you had all the time in the world. You’re used to both quick fucks and slow, languid making-love type sessions. Location doesn’t matter. You’ve had him everywhere. Any time. Any day. Anywhere.  It didn’t matter to either of you. All he had to do was give you a look, and you were his.

You make quick work removing your underwear and pulling his erection from his boxer shorts, palming his thick length until he whines into your mouth. You almost lose yourself for a moment, positioning yourself directly above him, his cock angled at your entrance, lost in your own lust for him before remembering and look towards the bedside table.

It’s then that you hear, “leave it off?”

“What?”

“The condom? You’re on the pill, we’re both clean. Let me feel you baby. Really feel you. I need to feel you cum around me for once.” He nips at your lips, sucks your bottom lip between his own and nibbles on it. “Please? Let me cum in you? Or at least let me fuck you without one and I’ll cum somewhere else…please?”

You’ve been together months, and though you’re not exactly shy in the bedroom, this certainly was a first. Both of you have always been careful, though like he said, you know you’re both clean and you’ve been on the contraceptive pill for as long as you could remember to sort out your periods. And while it’s not as though you’ve never done this before, it’s just that you’ve never done it before with Virgil.

“You really want to?” You find yourself asking.

“Only if you want to.”

“And you’ll cum wherever I want?” you ask as you raise yourself above him, looking down at him as you drag your fingers down his chest.

The way his lips curve into a smile makes you want to ride him immediately. “Anywhere you want me to.” He says, and rather than answering verbally, you simply sink down onto his cock and watch as his eyes roll as he finally feels you.

________

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