#jesus was like hey it is a sin to allow people to go hungry and we were like 'give up pizza for a month got it'
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giantkillerjack ¡ 2 years ago
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It helps me to think about caring for myself like I think about caring for a child.
Like, 'yes, I know you feel fine, but I think you've watched enough scary things before bed. Let's watch something nice now, okay?'
#original#it also helps because i am a queer autistic person with adhd who was raised catholic and#i was taught that the only way to be a truly good person was to sacrifice myself for others at all costs#and therefore seeking my own happiness was a sin. denial's the game. the more the holier.#I often think about how lent was all about honoring Jesus's sacrifice for us. but none of the things we ever gave up ever helped anyone#jesus was like hey it is a sin to allow people to go hungry and we were like 'give up pizza for a month got it'#🙄🙄🙄#I went to Catholic school and we would brag to each other about what we gave up#i think Lent is about as holy as weight loss#only holy in the eyes of a god who doesn't love me#so I don't care much for that one anymore.#anyway what I meant to say was one of the things that helps me break out of this mindset that was ingrained in me at a young age#is when I start sacrificing myself instinctively to please people I ask if I would allow this level of pain to happen to a child#if that doesn't work I ask if I would allow it to happen to a dog.#and the answer is almost always absolutely not. i would protect that animal.#and my next thought is don't I deserve to be treated at least as well as a dog??#i think yes.#i think i ought to be treated at least as well as I'd treat everyone else actually. and i am kind to others.#so why would i be my one exception?#these tags were brought to you by: i am setting boundaries with my family#bc i realized if they had treated my dog like this I'd have disowned them and not have felt guilty for it#i would also protect a child at all costs just to be clear#that is never in question it is just a matter of side stepping my trauma's excuses since it may go like#'oh you don't deserve as much as other people' but it is LESS likely to be able to convince me I should have less rights than a literal dog
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faithfromanewperspective ¡ 11 months ago
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you're going to be way more productive and impactful at whatever you're passionate about, whatever you're trying to do if you let yourself enjoy things. like i know things are horrific right now and i know basic empathy means feeling that. and i know it's hard to keep going. that's exactly why enjoyment is going to be what keeps us going throughout it all, the rebellion we will keep working until the fact that everyone deserves to do this is realised.
like maybe it's an exvangelical thing to have to really highlight this but i did just yesterday see a clip of a pastor being like 'taylor isn't gonna save you from your sins jesus shoulda got it' in response to the time magazine thing and yes, yes it should've been a journalist or anyone in palestine like it was the president of ukraine last year. yes we should be giving that entire community the recognition they deserve--not just one person but thousands upon thousands of them. yes she's been a bit out of touch and kinda insensitive and yes i miss the 'band of thieves in ripped up jeans' taylor but at the same time it's okay to be proud of her for achieving stuff? and it's okay to enjoy her music and go to her concert and not blame all the world's problems on her not explicitly deciding to be the one to fix things? this was the rebuttal to that clip, that you're allowed to enjoy and celebrate things. and to that i'd add yes there's a whole community of people who deserved it more. but we gotta be careful when we nitpick every single thing (which journalist deserved it the most? they all did) and get lost in these details instead of doing something productive. saying 'jesus shoulda got it' is unproductive; going out and FEEDING THE HUNGRY like Jesus did is much better. same goes here--you can show your support more productively too.
and i didn't watch her movie, i hadn't anyway and won't (at the moment at least) especially now i've seen 5sos release theirs in a much more respectful way calling for donations for gaza while not paywalling anything. yes i don't agree with everything she said and yes there's horrific suffering of people AND animals going on and i'm fucking trying to find my voice and brainstorm what we can do about it but also?? it's incredibly confronting and triggering and there can be a million reasons someone might not think they're emotionally in a position where they can take a stance and even leadership publicly, why it mightn't be wise or safe and frankly that's none of our business
and i know some of you are just waking up to it now but there are so many horrifying and shitty things in our world and some of them are worth sacrificing and risking our lives for. but there are so many more things we can do when we are alive and thriving and if you want to be in it for the long game
you've gotta let yourself enjoy stuff in the meantime. like we've already boycotted a lot and that is great! maintain those boycotts with better swaps like your local coffee shop instead of starbucks. swapping out artists and franchises who've been openly zionist, yes! but remember when you're boycotting things (and you're lucky if you don't but many of us have ed-like behaviours here, not around food necessarily but around other fun things) that you don't deserve to have your enjoyment taken away. you will not last nor will you be able to say everyone else deserves to be free and happy if you do not believe that for yourself.
like it's possible to have a good time without exploiting others! so go do it. especially support entertainers who are doing good (and hey we've seen taylor do this, enough about her, but sure, call her to account yes but do it gently and don't accuse her of anything she didn't do).
and then double down with that newfound creativity your brain has when it isn't in a tunnel of stress and go do something with it. realise you can work hard and donate. get community together. start the whole decolonisation process locally and share what you learn from it that we may all go together on this as a world.
and i hate that i have to be this pessimistic about mainstream media but you know what? i'm grateful that they didn't put the pm of israel or someone similar on that magazine. but honestly, i didn't know what the time magazine was until this year. yes we can acknowledge and criticse it but in the end, it doesn't matter. what matters is that there are so many of us who want to do better and if that's you, you gotta not make the mistakes of activists i've seen in my years in climate and biodiversity spaces who burn hard for a few months or years then drop off entirely. we're in it for the long game and that involves fueling ourselves with enjoyment.
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royallyprincesslilly ¡ 4 years ago
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can i get uhUhHHhhH more jason momoa smut headcanons
You got it Anon.
Warning: Language, SMUTTT
Words: 1.8k
~~~~~~~~
You’re in Hawaii with Jason enjoying some much needed time away from LA, the land of dreams and fakeness. When you’re in Hawaii with him things make sense. They’re normal, routine and so humbling. 
Yeah, people recognize him and he’s such a sweetheart that he always stops for autographs and photos but on the island of chill, everyone lives by going with the flow and taking it easy. This means that he’s never hounded for long. Secretly he still loves it. 
Jason’s idea for the day was the beach. The man loved the beach. He didn’t do normal things people did like relaxed. No Jason was always active. He was surfing, boogie boarding, even snorkeling. You name it and he’s probably done it. 
You didn’t mind. If you weren’t out there with him snorkeling or swimming you were watching his incredible athleticism in action. The man was built to be shirtless and in the water. Hell, even the water loved his body. Your mouth always watered as you watched the droplets slide down his body and drip from the ends of his long hair that he always left loose. He knew he was a Hawaiian God and that you loved to watch him and he used it as a weapon. Today was no different.
You were sitting on the blanket watching him dominate every wave that came in. You loved seeing him like this. There was nothing like his smile when he was doing something he truly loved. He zipped over the water and cut it with ease and expertise. He looked like he was going to make it. You leaped to your feet and rushed to the shore then squat down to the sand and watched as he barely made it out the tunnel before it crashed.
Jason threw his hands up and looked for you at the spot he left you and when he saw you at the shore, he looked like the epitome of joy. you jumped up and down cheering him on. Your mother always said to be your man’s biggest cheerleader and the way everyone was looking at you said you’d accomplished it.
You watched him dive off the board into the water knowing he was going to be swimming in. You ran into the water ready for when he got to the shore. As he approached you went deeper until the water caught you a little above your waist. Once he got there you bounced into his arms.
“You looked so good out there baby,” you compliment. Jason’s chuckle was adorable.
“I looked good out here and you looked incredible over there. So damn distracting.”
“Oh yeah? How distracting because you sure rode that wave like I was nothing but a blip in the landscape.”
As if to dissuade you Jason kissed you stopping whatever words that were coming next. His tongue curled around yours before he sucked it. He tasted like sea salt, beer, and pineapples. It was your favorite taste thanks to him.
The way he kissed you said he was hungry. Pulling away from him you shake your head.
“Nope.”
“What?” His wide guilty smile was all the evidence you needed to his train of thought.
“Nope. You know what. There’s no way,” you reiterated.
Jason continues to chuckle. It was like he knew you were going to be whistling a different tune in a few minutes. You were such a weak woman when it came to him.
“Come on. You can’t let me walk out there with this.” Jason allows your body to slip a little lower so you could feel the weapon of uterus destruction he was barely concealing in those swim trunks.
You gasped. “Jason. Oh my god. How?”
“How? You’re kidding. All I have to do is look at you and this is the end result,” Jason confessed before he kissed your neck and trailed those kisses down to your shoulder only to bring his lips back up to suck your skin into his mouth. He knew what he was doing where he was doing it.
You got lost in his kisses in seconds. The way his wet beard tickled your face only enhanced how badly you wanted him. You could also feel him growing even bigger. Moaning you tore your lips away.
“Jason, we’re on the beach. There are people everywhere. Kids.”
“They’re not my kids. I’m trying to plant some.”
You couldn’t not laugh as you looked at him incredulously. You thought he couldn’t be serious but you had a sneaking feeling he was dead serious.
“Jason,” you whined again. He turned your body so your back was out greeting the ocean before you knew it he’d placed you on his surfboard and was standing between your spread legs. “We can’t do this here.”
“No one will know. Trust me.”
“I trust you with everything, but baby everyone will know.”
He wasn’t hearing any of your protests. His large hands slowly slid across your wet thighs until they made it to the ties of your bathing suit bottom. He didn’t untie them he simply toyed with the dangling strings.
“I can read your mind Jason,” you informed. Jason smiled then yanked you off the board and to him. His lips were pressed to your a second later and again he kissed you dizzy. 
You don’t even realize when he turned you so you were looking at the ocean horizon. For as far as the eye could see it was all blue water and blue sky. “Watch that horizon, Ko’u aloha,” Jason whispered. You loved it when he spoke Hawaiian to you. You’d gotten better at understanding some of it. Every time he called you my love it made your belly do backflips.
Jason’s hands caressed your stomach before his hand dipped into your bikini bottom. Your head dropped back to rest on his chest giving him full access to your neck which he took full advantage of. He licked and sucked a hypnotizing pattern that distracted you from what he was about to do but when you felt his fingers swirl around your clit you sank back onto him. Jason’s arms were there to hold you. 
You couldn’t stop any of your moans. He knew just what to do to make your body ebb on the edge of complete hysteria. After a few swirls, he dipped two digits into your channel making you take a deep breath, emitting an audible hiss.
Jason slowly dipped and retreated his fingers stating a slow pace then he added a third finger which had a grunt strangled in your throat.
“Jesus Y/N, you’re so tight. I need you.”
“Right--here?”
“Right here,” he repeated.
“Right--right--now?”
“Now!” It was gruff and filled with urgency. You couldn’t stop yourself from rubbing against his hard length that was poking into your back. When you tipped your head back even more Jason dipped his down to meet your lips for an upside-down kiss. 
Not noticing the water height raise you focused on his lips and the sinful things his fingers were doing to you under the water. When he tore his lips from yours he gently pushed your back down so you were resting over the surfboard that was in front of you. The water had your body like a buoy, Jason’s hand gripped your hip keeping your lower half submerged so the beach patrons would be none the wiser. 
In seconds he’d pulled your bikini to the side and slammed his hips forward sending his solid, thick love into you. A wave of water washed over your back from the force of his thrust. To prevent yourself from shrieking out you clamped your hand over your mouth. It barely contained it. Jason continued his thrusts never missing a beat. Every connection had you whimpering and panting his name.
Soon his hand replaced yours while the other remained squeezing your hop keeping you from floating to the surface. The sheer strength he possessed in his body only turned you on even more. Jason thrust forward filling you completely then rotated his hips. His hand contained your muffled curse.
“Just watch that horizon. Watch it as I make your body feel good baby.”
Jason’s thrusts sped and not even his hand could stop a moan from escaping. You couldn’t be bothered to look around everything he was doing felt so good--too good.
Jason’s hand moved from your mouth to over your chest right above your breasts. He lifted you and pulled your back against his chest and changed the angle to which he plunged into you.
“Be quiet for me, Ko’u aloha.”
The man had to be crazy, you thought. There was no way and he knew it. With every connection, you whimpered and with every whimper, he heard he rotated his hips so you felt every single inch of him. 
“Fuck me, Ko’u aloha,” you breathlessly murmured. 
Just as you loved hearing it, he loved it even more. The force of his movements increased and that delicious pressure that signified your oncoming release buzzed through you. His pants brushed against your ear making you clench him tighter.
Jason grunted and tightened his grip right before he fucked you as if you weren’t in the middle of the ocean with the beach filled.
“Jason.”
“I fucking love you so much!” His voice was impossibly deep and just like that, you were coming. The tightness of your drenched cavern had him grunting and staggering his thrusts until you felt his release.
It took a few moments for both of you to come down enough for either of you to move. You just stayed still staring at the horizon at the sun that was beginning to set. It was beautiful and made even more perfect by Jason behind you nestled tightly between your folds.
“Mmmm,” Jason began as he pulled from you and turned you in his arms so you were facing him. You wrapped your legs back around him as you scoped out around you to see if you’d been caught. Thankfully you didn’t have an audience.
“I can’t believe we just did that here,” you whispered.
“I’m sure countless have done the same.” His voice was lethargic. It was the voice of a sated man.
“Glad that you’re no longer hungry, Ko’u aloha,” you said before you kissed his shoulder and neck.
“I wasn’t until you said that. It’s time to go,” Jason abruptly announced as he turned you both and headed back to shore with you giggling. The man was insatiable.
Hawaii would forever hold a special place in your heart.
Glossary: According to Google Translate
Ko’u aloha: My Love.
~~~~~~~~
Hey Anon, I hope you liked this!
I’m so sorry it’s so late. 
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elderxprice ¡ 5 years ago
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(#bom10daychallenge - day 1 - I’m fine. Let me see your face.) Kevin lingers in the aircraft, toying with the strap of Arnold’s backpack, until he is all but ushered out.
“Take care of yourself,” the attendant says, clasping her hands behind her back. Her name is Emily. Kevin knows, because she told him when he could not stop throwing up on the ascent. She had kneeled in the aisle beside him, soothingly rubbed his back, and told him everything would be just fine. He made her promise, and in doing so made her a liar.  
“Yeah,” Kevin says, offering her a tired smile. “Alright.”
He wishes things could have been different. If they had been, perhaps he would be coming home a hero and not an abject failure, earning piteous looks as he trudges through the airport.  Not that he can blame anyone. Kevin knows he looks disgraceful, because that is how he feels: exhausted and filthy and full of regret. Still, he walks with his shoulders squared and head held high. He has to be brave; it’s all he can do.
The airport is a myriad of joyful reunions and tear-filled goodbyes. Missionaries being hugged by their mothers; children being hugged by their parents; friends reunited after years and years apart. Their love is almost palpable, and Kevin finds himself wishing he could reach out and touch it, for just a moment, to remember what that feels like. It’s been so long since his parents have hugged him and said they were proud. One year and a handful of days. The memory is blurred at its edges, yet as he steps onto the escalator it all comes rushing back in a bouquet of abstract flowers.
His mother’s favorite perfume.
A sob escapes his throat at the realization that he’s home. He’s home, and his mother is here. She came for him. They all did.
“Kevin!” His sister runs to him, tears streaming down her cheeks regardless that she’s smiling. Kevin drops Arnold’s backpack and meets her halfway, hugging Debbie so tightly her feet lift from the ground. “I missed you, Kevin.”
“I missed you, more. The most.” It’s the truth, because she is the only one who wrote him. “Gosh, you’re heavy.”
She laughs, legs wrapping around his waist so Kevin cannot put her down. “I’m ten, now,” she says, proud of that fact. “I’m not so little, anymore.”
“Boy, I’ll say,” he says, leaning back so he can see her. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”
Debbie nods, but she grins as if she doesn’t care. Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe his being here is enough; maybe it’s all that she wanted. The thought incites a genuine smile - his first in twenty-six hours.
“Hey,” he says, rubbing his nose against his sister’s. “Let me say go say hi to everybody else, then we can hug again right after.”
The rest of his family, sans Jack, stand just a few feet away. They do not seem as excited to see him as Debbie had been, but his mother dabs at her eyes with a tissue and his father rests a hand on Kevin’s shoulder once they’re close enough to touch. It’s more than he could have hoped for. “It’s good to see you, son,” he says. Kevin isn’t sure he believes him. “Boys, isn’t it nice to see Kevin?”
At their father’s unsubtle encouragement, Ben and Sean move to hug him.
“You smell bad,” Sean says, pulling away with a scowl.
“He doesn’t smell that bad.” Ben hugs Kevin a second longer, as though to prove this point. “Just kind-of bad.”
Kevin sighs, ruffling Ben’s hair before turning towards his mother. She is still dabbing at her eyes as she motions for him to come closer. He’s really missed her. For all his father’s countless shortcomings, his mother far more than makes up for them. She loves him, Kevin knows. Even now.
“I’m real hungry,” he says, once her arms are wrapped around him. The cotton of her sweater is soft against the sunburn of his cheeks. “Mom.”
“Well, we’ll get you some food on the way home, how does that sound? There’s a lot to talk about, but it can wait until tomorrow. Can’t it, Michael?”
Kevin has never heard his mother refer to their father that way, before. It was always husband or honey or something equally nauseating, but never his name. It makes him a little bit nervous.
“We can’t go anywhere with him looking like this, Katherine.”  His father sweeps a hand towards Kevin, putting him on display. People are staring. Kevin feels his throat constrict; “McDonald’s is fine,” he interrupts, earning a pointed look from his father. “Just for tonight.”
“…Just for tonight,” his mother agrees. “Just this once.”
His siblings look excited. Sean thanks him for smelling bad.
*
They were never allowed to eat McDonald’s, because it isn’t real food or good food or anything Heavenly Father would want them to put into their bodies. The only time Kevin ever got to, was when he had his license and could go without anyone knowing. He brought his sister the day before he left for the Missionary Training Center. They had strawberry milkshakes and french fries and sat on the hood of his car at the airport watching all the planes take off. It was something special they shared; a secret between them she could keep once Kevin was gone.
Kevin orders three double cheeseburgers, two large fries and a diet Coke. The family’s entire order comes to over fifty dollars, and their father has a conniption as he pulls back onto the highway; and while that normally would have provoked an apology out of Kevin, it’s hard to care once a piping hot bag of actual food is placed upon his lap. And, see, Kevin knew he was hungry; he just didn’t realize how much, until the first, salty fry touches his lips. “Oh, gosh,” he says, in an almost obscene euphoria, before stuffing a handful into his mouth. His siblings watch in amusement, laughing at his pitiful display. Kevin is happy to entertain them, so long as it means he can eat.
His parents, however, are not so entertained. Kevin can see the disapproval in his father’s eyes as he casts the occasional glance in the rearview mirror and hear it in his mother’s voice as she scolds him about his lack of manners.
“I bet you ate this crap all the time in Africa,” Ben says, lifting his chin as though he isn’t enjoying it just as much. “Dad says you probably did all kinds of awful stuff once you shut out the Lord.”
“Yeah,” Sean agrees, licking ketchup from his fingers. “Like sin with girls.”
“Boys!” Mrs. Price reaches behind her to gently slap Sean’s knee. “We aren’t going to talk about Kevin’s mission,” she scolds. “We discussed this.”
Kevin supposes he ought to be glad they don’t want to talk about it, or else he’d be sat in an Olive Garden somewhere, feeling like he has to when Kevin really, really does not want to. He especially does not want to sit across from his parents and talk about Arnold, or the way he loves him, or how he did sin – a lot. Nor does he want to talk about the General; or Kimbay’s husband; or AIDS; or watching his friends die; or starve; or about any of the countless other horrible things he’s been witness to over the past year and a half. Kevin does not even want to think about it.
The guilt of that realization weighs heavy on him, and the food turns sour in his stomach. His father pulls over, so he can throw up outside.  
“Well, then,” his father frowns, rolling down the window once Kevin’s heaves have subsided. “Are you quite finished?”
Kevin wishes he was; but this is not going to go away, just because the food is out of his stomach. In fact, the guilt over having just wasted food on the side of the road sticks to his ribs and makes it hard to breathe.  
*
Immediately upon returning home, his parents send him upstairs to clean up.
There is a letter on his pillow from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Kevin is not surprised by its presence, only by how it has already arrived. He told his parents he wanted to leave Uganda four days ago and has only been back for one hour. His parents must have personally picked it up. Kevin would not be surprised if his father helped write it.
Sitting cross-legged on his bed, Kevin stares at the letter for almost an hour. He knows the second he picks it up, this in-between will be over. Kevin will need to make a choice: to stay, or leave, the church.
It was easy to turn his back on this life in Uganda, because his parents weren’t there and his college wasn’t there and the reality he was living, is not the one he’s living now. His mother said she loved him; his sister hugged him; his dad put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. It made him happy. He wants to be happy. Kevin reaches for the letter.
“Dear Elder Price,” he frowns at the sound of that name. “The stake presidency is considering formal disciplinary action in your behalf, including the possibility of disfellowshipment or excommunication, because you are reported to have participated in conduct unbecoming a member of the church, namely apostacy. You are invited to attend this disciplinary council to give your response and, if you wish, to provide witnesses and other evidence in your behalf.”  
The council date is set for the day after tomorrow. Kevin wonders what evidence he can scrounge up in that time, before realizing he is evidence enough. Kevin is not an apostate. Priesthood holders have a responsibility to become like Christ and love as He loves and serve as He serves and Kevin did that. All the evidence he needs, he wears as scars and cuts and angry bruises. It would be inappropriate, perhaps, to open his shirt in front of the stake president, but Kevin will if that’s what it takes to prove what he did was in Heavenly Father’s example; and not because he wants to stay in the church, necessarily, but because he knows in his heart he did nothing wrong. None of them did, and for some reason, he needs the church to see that. He wants them to.
“Kevin?” Debbie lingers in his doorway, hair braided in a crown around her head.
“Hey, you.” Kevin tucks the letter beneath his pillow; “Let me get changed, then you can come in, alright?”
She closes the door, and Kevin stands from the bed. He stretches. Everything hurts, deep into his bones. If he was still in Uganda, Kevin is almost certain Arnold would rub his shoulders and his neck and his back, without even asking for a thing in return. Arnold is selfless. Kevin is not.  
Pulling open his dresser drawers, he notices there is not much left in them. One pair of temple garments, and a pair of sweats from high school with Provo down one leg, and Bulldogs down the other. It seems like his parents culled his room while he was gone, as though they were not expecting him to come home, or just weren’t going to let him.
Clothes on, Kevin opens the door for his sister, who is holding a blanket and pillows.  “Mom said I could stay in here tonight, if it’s okay with you?”
“You know it is,” he says, motioning for the blanket. She hands it over, watching as Kevin folds it once and sets it on Jack’s bed. “You can take mine. Mom say’s you’ve been sleeping in it, anyway.”  
Debbie almost looks embarrassed, like she wants to lie and deny it, but she is a good Mormon, Kevin remembers, which is probably why she doesn’t. Instead, she climbs onto Jack’s bed, curling up beside her brother.  
“What was Africa like?” she asks.
“Awful.” Kevin presses a finger to her nose, and Debbie smiles. “Wonderful.”
Debbie nods, as though she understands or can tell he does not want to get into it, beyond that. “Dad said you look sick,” she says, in a whisper. Kevin imagines she must have overheard this conversation. “You’re not, are you?”
“No way,” he says, offering her a tired smile. “Just tired. Dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Debbie’s eyes widen then, and Kevin presses a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell him I said that, though, okay? Promise?”
“Promise.”
A comfortable silence falls over them, then, and Kevin lets his eyes slip shut. It’s weird, being in this house, again. It’s warm and familiar. Same walls, same windows, same family he left behind.
The only thing different, is Kevin. And it must be more apparent in the daylight, he thinks, because his mother gasps when she sees him the next morning. She is standing by the kitchen window, exactly where Kevin left her over a year ago, holding the same chipped mug of orange juice.
“…Mom?”
“I’m fine,” she responds, almost automatically. Kevin wonders who’s been asking her. “Oh, Kevin,” she breathes, when she finally gathers herself. “You look absolutely dreadful. Come here, let me see your face”
“Gee. Thanks, mom.” He bites his tongue as she touches her hand to his forehead. She must think he’s sick, like Debbie said, but in a physical way. She couldn’t be more wrong, but Kevin doesn’t have the heart to tell her.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it’s true. I thought you said you were eating?”
“I was,” he admits, easing away from her worry. “Just - not a lot.”
“Clearly, Kevin!” She sighs, bringing a hand to her chest as she composes her thoughts. His mom looks older; more tired. “Thank God, Jack was called to Quebec.”
It is not just an expression when his mother says it. She means it, and Kevin finds he wants to mean it, too. Thank God, his brother is in Canada, and not some war-torn, impoverished, dangerous country. Thank God; thank God; thank God. He wonders if she thanked God when Kevin called to say he wanted to come home.
“Are you coming tomorrow?” Kevin asks, curious.
Mrs. Price shakes her head, turning back towards the window. “Your father’s bringing you,” she says, taking a sip of her juice. “He said it would be best if there weren’t any distractions.”  
“You’re not a distraction, you’re my mom,” he points out, crossing his arms. “I want you there.”
“And we wanted you to succeed on your mission, Kevin,” she says, setting down her mug. “I just don’t understand what happened.” Mrs. Price turns back around, motioning for Kevin to come closer. He does, stepping right into her open arms. She smells like lavender soap. “But I need to trust that the Lord knows what He’s doing with you, and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though I can’t even begin to understand how He can do it, after all that’s happened. The stuff your Mission President told us, Kevin! I very nearly passed out. Your father had to hold me up.”
Kevin sighs, but does not doubt it. His mother has passed out for less; like when Ben came home from school with Saturday detention for kissing a girl behind the gym, during lunch. He was sixteen.  
“It was one misstep, mom, and it wasn’t even mine. It was Elder Cunningham’s.” It feels weird placing sole blame on Arnold, like this, but Arnold isn’t here and Kevin is pretty sure he’d forgive him for it, anyway. “He thought he was doing the right thing, and you know what? He did, in the end. We really helped those people, mom. I really helped them.” Not enough, maybe, but the fact remains.  
“I don’t doubt you think that, Kevin, but you’ve always been arrogant. Now, why don’t you help me make breakfast. I’m too upset to manage it on my own.”
__
After, regardless of the food that’s waiting for him downstairs, Kevin takes his time washing up. He stands in front of the bathroom mirror and traces a finger from his bruises to his scrapes to his cuts. His body has become a roadmap of hard work and dedication, of pain and suffering, and of triumph – slight as it was. There are deep discolorations beneath both of his eyes, and dirt beneath his fingernails. He cannot get them clean, no matter how hard he tries; though, he must admit he doesn’t try much.
His mother will be displeased, he thinks, but so what? She already is, as is his father, who will probably want to talk before tomorrow. Kevin doesn’t want to talk.
What he wants, is to take a shower – and not a hot one, like he thought he might. In Uganda, he used to dream of them, but the second the bathroom fills with steam, he feels guilty. So, he turns it to freezing, instead; gets in, gets out, and feels better. He shaves, brushes his teeth, and pulls on his clothes without garments. Out of habit, he reaches for his name tag. It’s Elder Cunningham’s. Arnold’s. His best friend’s. His – everything.
It ends up in his pocket, the corner digging into his thigh while he sits at the table and pokes at his food. It’s nine-thirty. Three-thirty in Kampala. Arnold is probably digging in the dirt, planting crops, or laughing too loud or too much or…
Kevin wonders if Arnold misses him.
He hopes so.  
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greater-than-the-sword ¡ 5 years ago
Note
(Part 1) Hey I have a question about some things. I had a somewhat rough time growing up with self hatred and loathing. I had a mother that instilled a sense that I was less (often saying things like ‘I own you so you have to do X’ or ‘Why can’t you do Y like a normal person’) and I’m almost 25 now, just barely starting to love myself for the first time. I’ve worked hard to shake my severe depression and function in a productive healthy way that’s above simple existence and survival.
So I keep reading people quoting scripture along the lines (this is paraphrasing of the insinuations) that we are wicked and vile and just nothing but sinners. We are so worthless and just so disgusting so thank God (literally) for God and Jesus. And while I agree that we need them so be saved, this type of language is so damaging to me. Even non believers have worth, so this is something I’ve always struggled with fellow religious people saying. Do you have any advice on a state (Part 3) of mind to adopt when reading these declarations? I’ve never thought that I don’t need God, but I don’t want to feel like it’s all for naught that at my core, I am worthless. Because I’m not. I don’t want to just disregard and not ponder these things, but I wonder if I’m even dwelling on them correctly. Any advice? I feel like this is something that scares away people from converting to Christianity as well. It’s a feelsbadman thing to hear, if that makes sense. Thanks for your time!             
Dear Anon:
I am very thankful to God for a strange thing that keeps happening: it seems every time he teaches me the answer to some question or other, no matter how oddly specific, a person is bound to show up not too much later to ask that exact question. This is one of those times.
I have also had the experience of living with parents where it just doesn’t seem like anything will ever be enough to meet their expectations. It’s always something else. The moment you get one thing right, another thing gets added on. It’s enough to make you feel fundamentally deficient on some level.
It’s not right for your mother to treat you like that (and of course she doesn’t “OWN” you, parents don’t OWN their children) or say things like that. So. I absolutely do believe in original sin. But. Jesus is not a footnote, in any way, shape or form. Jesus changes your identity. Where as without Jesus, all of our good works were “filthy rags”, any good works we do with Jesus are pleasing to God. He prepared them beforehand so that we could walk in them. You are not just not in debt anymore, you haven’t just broken even, you’re in the black. It may be impossible for people apart from Jesus to please God but you’re not apart from Jesus, so you absolutely do please God, he looks at you and he is pleased. If you are a Christian and you feed the hungry or say something nice to your brother or sister or something like that, God is pleased with that. I don’t think that Jesus died so we could go around feeling shame and guilt all the time. What does it mean to cancel a person’s debt to God if we have to go around like that all the time? Your identity isn’t tied up in original sin anymore so it’s not necessary to always be slinking around like that, as if it still was. You were saved to be so much more than that. The good thing about Christianity is that you don’t have to be like that any more. Your insufficiency is the bad news, but Jesus Christ is the good news that that cancels out the bad news.
The bible speaks a lot of the abundance of God, these are the kinds of verses that come to mind, I can’t quote them all but Psalm 23:5 comes to mind. When Jesus died you didn’t just barely break even, cancelling your sin debt by a margin of pennies an allowing you to just scrape by over the threshold of heaven. Can you imagine? Thank God it’s not like that at all. Rejoice at the riches that you have in Jesus!
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dailyaudiobible ¡ 5 years ago
Text
01/11/2020 DAB Transcript
Genesis 24:52-26:16, Matthew 8:18-34, Psalms 10:1-15, Proverbs 3:7-8
Today is the 11th day of January, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian its great to be here with you as we continue our journey by taking the next step forward in the Scriptures. And the next step forward takes us back into the book of Genesis where we are…well…we’re kind of moving into a new generation. We’ve been traveling with Abraham and Sarah and Sarah has passed away and now Isaac, the son of promise is emerging into our story. So, we’ve been reading from the New International Version this week, which is what we’ll do today. Genesis chapter 24 verse 52 through 26 verse 16.
Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for…well…for bringing us into this new year and allowing us to begin to settle into the rhythm that will carry us each and every day through this year. I thank You for what You are speaking into our lives here at the beginning of a decade, in the beginning of a year because it's challenging us and it's shaking us in its re-orienting us and it's…it’s bringing us clarity. And, so, we invite Your Holy Spirit to continue to speak deeply into our souls and that we might be aware and awake and listening when You begin to shift things inside of us. Even today's proverb, don't be wise in Your own eyes. Just that right there, just that alone, we could probably sit with that the rest of our lives as a piece of constant wisdom that needs to be ever before us. Yes, we’re not wise on our own, but the proverb goes on to tell us to fear You and shun evil and this will bring us health. And it’s a physical thing, health to our bodies and nourishment to our bones. Physical healing and health can happen when we…when we become aware that there is a wisdom that is far deeper than what we think we know. So, come Holy Spirit into that because we are looking for this, we are hungry for this, we are asking for this, we are seeking, we are knocking, we are present. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.
Announcements:
dailyaudiobible.com is the website and that is home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, be sure to…be sure to check it out.
Check out the Community section. That's where the Prayer Wall lives. That’s where the links to the transcripts are, that's where the links to all the different social media channels are. So, check that out.
Check out the resources that are available in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. They have been invented and crafted for the journey that we are on together this year. So, check…check that out.
If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we are...that we are sharing to bring the spoken word of God to anyone who will listen anywhere on this planet at any time of day or night, and build community around that rhythm so that it's not a solitary journey so that we know we’re not alone, that we’re in this together. If that…if that’s life…life-giving to you than thank you for being life-giving back. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.
And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or you can just press the Hotline button, little red button at the top of the app and off you go.
And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Community Prayer and Praise:
Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Brooke Wright from Omaha Nebraska and I would just like to pray for my daddy who is now…right now he’s in Argentina and I pray that on Monday, by the way it’s Sunday, January 6th and I would like to pray that today he has a good flight since he has more than one flight and he has to fly today and tomorrow. I would just like to pray that he would have a good trip and he would not have a bad day. This is Brooke Wright and I would just really like if you guys would pray for me and my brothers and my mom and that my mom would have…her cough would go away. Since I only have two minutes I’m going to end here. This is Brooke Wright and I’ll probably be calling very soon. Bye.
I want to pray for everyone listening and you are good people for listening and I hope it makes a change in your life. And try and remember I wish I could be like you guys. Shout out to my friend named Porshe. She listens to DAB and she’s disabled. She lost her leg, but she says that she __ God can help her through. She also had cancer and when she started listening to the DAB her life changed and she just wanted to thank God. Even at church she gets on her __ and prays. She does it for the Lord.
Hey DAB family this is Lori in Ohio I am a third-year DABber starting my 18th year reading the Bible through in the year. In 2020 am stepping away from a 20 year long, long relationship that should have never…I should have never been in. It did not strengthen my walk in God, and it was awfully verbally abusive, sometimes physically and he really made me do things I didn’t want to do and gosh after work pressuring me every day to…to do things I didn’t want to do. That aside two decades of memories __ family blended and the loss of the best friend as well I’m coming off mutual friendships. It’s very painful, beyond painful. Exhilarating though, to get rid of this sin and to have nothing blocking me and God. Just praying once again like it used to be and walking in the light of Christ, a whole person now as God’s girl once again. I ask that you please pray for me as for my focus and strength on this journey as a finally reborn again, rebooting a brand-new life that pleases God, continually growing a strong godly support team that are very helpful and whenever or wherever He takes me. I’m free. Woo! Please call me…my handle here will be 202020. I’m looking forward to all God has in store. I love you guys. I need you as iron sharpens iron. Please pray for me. I…I know God is preparing for me something big and this is such a way of peace that it’s a brand-new life for me. I’m praying for Finding Peace, for Good Smile in England, Rebecca in Michigan, Denise with Louis the rescue dog and Dave in Colorado. Okay guys. Talk to you soon.
Hey Daily Audio Bible this is John calling from Bethlehem Pennsylvania it is the 4th of January. It’s great to be here to be around the Global Campfire and toss a couple logs on and keep it burning and speak with you all in community as we do this, as we step through the Bible one day at a time, one step at a time as Brian says. I wanted to call in and let a couple people know I’m thinking of them here this morning. Of course, I’m keeping you all in prayer. I want to just mention a couple people. So, Finding Peace and also Dave from Colorado. Finding Peace, I want you to know that you are a child of the most-high God. You see yourself as stock but sees you as free. He sees you as released. He sees you as not in the place that you see you, but He sees you in His kingdom and doing a mighty thing. You are mighty in the land, you come from royal blood, you are a princess of the most-high God and what He has in store for you in 2020 is going to absolutely blow your mind. You are touched, you are equipped, you are well able, and there’s nothing that can stop you except the thinking that you have and that but that you put out there. So, my prayer for you is that you remove your but that you get your own “butt”, BUTT, and your “but” BUT out-of-the-way to be able to live into everything that God has for you. I’m praying for you sister and I can’t wait to hear your report when you call back to say that you’re out of the hole and it’s because of God’s grace and kindness that He’s taken you out of that hole. Don’t listen to anything that the enemy has to tell you it’s a lie and deceit. And then Dave, my brother from Colorado, listen I love your voice. Don’t hide under a rock and don’t put a bag over your head man your beautiful and your voice is beautiful to. You have nothing to be ashamed of you’re an awesome person. It was great to hear from you and if I were in Colorado I would totally…
Dear Anonymous, hey, this is Annette from Oklahoma City. I just want to start off by saying, I love you sister. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I can tell you real quick in my life story I was pretty much beaten and abused by my mother and ignored by my father a lot of the times because of these things. I got…I tried to get away by joining the Air Force where I was taken advantage of by a supervisor. I was…thrashed around and taken sexual advantage of by there only to get into two marriages where I was abused and I can tell you I know exactly how you feel. I wondered many, many times if I just drove up this ditch if I just, you know, did the same thing, you know, that my life would be better because it would be over. I understand. I totally, totally understand but I can tell you this, these are the things that I would’ve missed had I done that, and this is a very, very short condensed list because the Lord has blessed me since then. And now I understand that maybe those things happened to me because I was strong enough to endure them so then later on, I could help other people who have been through this type of situation and these tragedies and these hardships. And, you know, I would have missed my husband that I have now. He loves me more than anything in this whole wide world and he takes good care of me. And I would’ve missed seeing my children to grow up and enjoying grandchildren. Riding my motorcycle out in the middle of the country and being able to pray for all of you…
Hi DAB family I’m calling in to ask for prayer for my daughter. She graduated high school and then went to college for a semester and then she’s not going to be returning and she’s really gotten into some really difficult times in her life and she carries a lot of weight from her childhood from…her dad committed suicide when she was four years old and that’s been coming up a lot. And she told me that she’s was having dreams and I can’t go into detail but there are some things that could cause a mother…afraid to have a lot of worry but that’s what I don’t want to do. I’m actually pregnant and I just pray that…I ask that you guys pray with us…my husband and I…for __ this down and we’ll have a healthy pregnancy but pray for my daughter. She really needs prayer right now. She is, I guess, what you would say a prodigal. And, so, she, I don’t think wants anything to do with God right now and just a very, very hard time in her life. Thank you so much.
Hi Daily Audio Bible family my name is Tammy I’m from Georgia today is January the 5th. I’m calling specifically for anonymous. I’ve listened for 10 years completely and I have never called in, but your message has just really hit my heart. I would love to be your friend and I want you to know that you’re never alone and if you would love to reach out to me my email address is [email protected], [email protected]. Anonymous, I’m praying for you and you are never alone. Jesus loves you and He has you honey. Please email me.
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letstalksymphogear ¡ 5 years ago
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Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)
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“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”
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“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”
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Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.
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“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”
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“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”
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“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”
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“i just hope miku’s okay...”
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“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”
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“please stop breathing”
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Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS
XYLOPHONE RIFF
THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT
XYLOPHONE RIFF
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“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”
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“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”
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“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”
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“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”
In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.
> Tsubasa has joined the party.
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“FRIENDSHIP!”
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“fweindship.”
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“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”
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“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”
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“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”
Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.
Meanwhile, at night.
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Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.
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“.........................hey miku......”
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“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”
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“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”
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“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”
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“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”
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They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.
Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...
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Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.
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“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”
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“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”
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“wait, whats that crying”
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Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.
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“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”
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Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.
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But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.
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The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.
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“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”
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Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.
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“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”
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The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.
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Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...
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...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.
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“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”
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“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”
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“maybe we’re born with it”
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“maybe its maybeline”
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“maybeline...”
Meanwhile...
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A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)
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“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”
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“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”
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“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”
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“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”
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“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”
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“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”
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“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”
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Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.
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No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.
In the midst of this pain...
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Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.
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“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”
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“damn. that’s some good piss.”
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She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?
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Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...
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Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.
Back to Lydian:
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“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”
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“B. A. D.”
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“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”
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“yeah. you are.”
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“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”
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“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”
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“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”
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“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”
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Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.
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“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”
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The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.
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Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.
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PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.
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“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”
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“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”
They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...
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“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”
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“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”
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“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”
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It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.
But no, instead, we get this.
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youtube
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Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.
The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.
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Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.
The main antagonist of the series, everybody.
She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:
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“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”
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“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”
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“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”
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“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”
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“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”
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“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”
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“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”
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“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”
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“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”
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“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”
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“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”
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“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”
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“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”
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“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”
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“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”
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“LEAVE.”
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“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”
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scullyy ¡ 6 years ago
Text
Days With You / Chapter Two
Title: Days With You / Chapter One, Chapter Two
Pairing: Clementine x Louis
Word Count: 1770
Summary: Louis and Clementine are trying to keep their new relationship a secret, but they’re not doing a very good job.
A/N: I’ve never been to a bar what’s it like, also aye finally got part two up let’s get this bread
-
It was so obvious, it’s like they weren’t even trying to hide it. With all the subtle touching, bashful looks and just being in constant state of awe with each other, their supposed “secret” relationship was already failing. Everyone shared quick glances, biting their tongues to stop the oncoming laughter everytime Louis and Clementine did something cute.
Aasim coughed to break the silence, reminding Clem and Louis that there were other people around them. “You guys ready to order?” He threw a menu at Louis, who completely ignored it.
Louis cleared his throat, trying to keep a straight face. “There’s no rush my dude, I get the same thing every time-”
“-the nut mix with a glass of Lemon Lime Bitters,” Clementine finished for him, instantly biting her tongue from embarrassment, his order was something no one else in their group had bothered to learn. They all felt it second-hand, except for Louis who just gave her a smile full of sin. Clementine just ignored everyone and stared intently at the menu, despite the fact she wasn’t hungry.
It got quiet again after that, really quiet. Luckily it was karaoke night and a group of drunk young guys decided to sing Under The Sea, making the group laugh in unison. Their over-the-top dancing brought tears to Louis’s eyes. “They are butchering a marvellous song!” The artist in him soaked in pain.
“At least they’re out there having fun,” Violet teased. “You think you could do any better?”
Louis was offended by her lack of belief. “You know who you’re talking to right? I could outplay those guys in my sleep.”
Marlon shoved Violet with a little too much force. “Don’t tempt the guy, it’s hard enough keeping him quiet in Music class as it is.”
Louis was already bouncing in his seat like a giddy child. An opportunity to give them the old’ razzle dazzle? The temptation was too real. “Maybe later, I’m going to the bar to get my nut mix,” Marlon stood to join him, wanting a quiet moment with Louis. They squished through the tight crowd of people. Of course, they had to go on Ladies Night. Marlon awkwardly tapped his foot against the wooden floor as Louis tried to get the bartender's attention amongst the crowd of drunk women. “Can I ask you something Lou?”
“Whatever it was I didn’t do it,” He babbled, already having a brief idea on what the question would be. “Please don’t say it, please don’t say it-” He prayed to himself.
“-Is there something going on between you and Clem? You’ve been acting extra weird since we left the carnival if that’s somehow possible.”
“Fuck!”
Louis eventually got the man's attention and quickly told him the order. He and Clementine made a promise to each other on the Ferris Wheel to keep their budding relationship a secret until they were ready for all the questions and jokes they knew their friends would bombard them with. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Marlon was dissatisfied with that answer but knew that continuing to press him would result in nothing, perhaps a game was in order? Something that Louis understood. “Hey, who's that guy talking to Clem?”
Like lightning, Louis lifted up his head to look at their table, seeing that she was only talking to Omar and Brody. His chest grew heavy with the realisation that he gave Marlon exactly what he wanted. “Not cool dude.” Louis wanted nothing more than to punch his lifelong friend in the dick. Marlon, however, felt a sense of pride having beat Louis at a game for once, even if their walk back to the table was lacking their usual jokes.
“I vote we kick Marlon off the island,” Louis hissed as he sat on the stool beside Clem. “The tribe has spoken!” He slammed his drink onto the table, some of it spilling onto the rickety table.
Marlon kicked him in the shin. “It was a harmless question, Lou.”
Their tension was felt by everyone at the table. “Everything okay?” Clementine asked.
“Yea, just curious about us,” He whispered to her.
Clementine hid her face in her sleeves, her and Louis certainly weren’t doing a good job of hiding their relationship. The feeling was still fresh for her, for both of them. They were riding the high of their conversation on the Ferris Wheel, buzzing off each other’s energy. God never had anything made her feel so girlish and giddy, she had to bite her tongue to stop the squeals.
The next hour flew by without another mention of the two, instead focusing on the brave souls who sang their hearts out on the stage. The kids would still often look back at Clementine and Louis, smiling at how happy and content they were near each other. Such hopeless suckers in love.
Violet, however, was fuelled by her curiosity. How could everyone be so calm about this? They've all been waiting for this relationship since 11th Grade! Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands…
She tapped a love-struck Clementine on the shoulder, bracing herself for the whiplash she was about to receive. “Hey, Clem, are you and Louis fucking?”
The true Violet way, blunt and to the point. Kinda.
Clementine wanted to climb into her sweater and disappear forever as what Violet asked started to sink in, bringing out a roaring laughter from everyone but Clementine and Louis.
Louis threw one of Mitch’s chips at her nose. “What the fuck is wrong with you Vi?”
“So many things,” Violet smirked like the little imp she was, basking in the intense shade of how red Louis’s cheeks were. It was like they were a new colour. “You gonna answer my question or what?”
Neither of them wanted to answer, but if it meant getting their friends off their back, not that they were or had ever...flipped. This was so much worse than them not knowing. Clementine raised her head, shooting everyone daggers. “Louis asked me on a date when we were at the carnival.”
Violet, Aasim and Marlon stretched out their hands, embracing the money Brody, Mitch, Omar and Ruby gave them. “We made a bet before going to the carnival on who would make the move first,” Aasim smiled down at his ten dollar note, glowing with pride. “You have both been all other each other since high school.”
Louis couldn’t find any words. This was so ridiculous! Had life suddenly turned into a sitcom? Some over-the-top story? “Am I really that predictable?”
It was a choir of ‘yep’, ‘like clockwork’ and ‘yeah pretty much’ from everyone, even Clem joined the tease train, earning a raised eyebrow from Louis. He turned his head eerily slowly to her, causing her to stifle a laugh.
Two can play at that game. “Oh, you’re teasing me now? You’re the one who kissed me on the Ferris Wheel.”
He slammed his hand over his mouth as soon as their secret escaped his mouth, and by the look of Clementine’s face, she was ready to rip his throat out.
“You guys what?!” Screamed Marlon. His best friend? Kissing his other best friend? WHAT?
“Shit,” Louis mumbled into his sweaty palm. “I mean...nothing happened we are all children of Jesus.” He gave everyone a sheepish smile, one that everyone loved so much.
“Fuck off I’m the only one who can make bible jokes,” Violet had earned the right after attending years of bible study with her obnoxious cousins. “Why didn’t you guys say anything?”
“We wanted to keep quiet until we were ready for the jokes and comments you guys would make.” Clementine skulled down the rest of her water, eager to relieve the crack in her voice. It always happened whenever she was embarrassed.
“Guys,” Marlon grabbed Louis’s shoulder, giving him a sense of hope. “We’re going to make fun of you no matter what.”
A false sense of hope.
“We’ve been shipping you guys since high school,” Brody admitted, giving them a bashful smile.
Both Louis and Clementine felt slightly relieved that the worst was now over. Feeling a wave of confidence soar over her, Clem planted a brief kiss on Louis’s cheek, which sent the table into chaos as Louis dramatically swooned into her arms
-
“You ready to go Vi?”
Clementine swung her car keys around her finger, eager to sink into her bed. Violet was focused on a shooting star flying across the rich sky, wishing for Minnie to come back safe and sound.
“Yeah, I need to sleep right now.”
Everyone else made way to their own vehicles, except for Mitch and Ruby, who were walking home. A benefit of not living at the university, you save money on gas.
“Clem,” Louis poked her rough denim jacket, feeling the warmth radiating from her smile. “Sorry that everyone found out so soon. I know you wanted it a secret.”
“I don’t care that much.”
Not an answer he was expecting. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t care that people know, if they laugh then fuck them,” She straightened out a wrinkle in the sleeve of his jacket, making a mental note to teach him how to iron. Her hand lingered over his own, finding a simple pleasure in the slight callouses on his fingers. “Goodnight Louis. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Clementine left him wanting more as she slid into her car, driving back towards school campus, their home away from home. Louis’s chest fell with a heavy sigh, he looked like a confused dragon with the vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Earth to Louis?”
He snapped out of his lust-filled daydream, seeing Marlon leaning against his old truck. “Can we go to McDonald's? I really want a frozen coke.”
Louis snatched the keys from his hand. “I’m driving but.” Marlon yanked them right back, no way in hell would Louis EVER be allowed to drive his car. He could barely ride his skateboard as it is.
“Hey dude,” Marlon wrapped his arm around Louis’s neck, letting his free hand run wild in the soft dreadlocks. “You are one sly dog.”
Louis pulled himself free, only laughing due to his ticklish nature. “Now now Marlon. I promise you’ll be the first to know when we get engaged.”
Marlon’s pale ears perked up at hearing such a statement. “What do you mean ‘when you get engaged’?”
“What I mean is,” Louis open his door yet hung out in the cold, looking down the road that Clementine drove down, grin as wide and bright as the Cheshire Cat. “I’m gonna marry her someday.”
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seenashwrite ¡ 6 years ago
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Walkthrough for “There But For The Grace”.
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If interested - Go read it first before continuing on. This is about the plot point stuff (i/e - hints for the end, amongst other things) and the theological drops I sprinkled throughout.
I genuinely did not intend for this to cause brain freeze. Hoo-boy. Many sorry. There’s about a 40/60 split at this point of the “got its” vs. “didn’t quite got its”, so that’s on me. Not that it was incredibly necessary to catch the loop-di-loop in order to like it, though you might like it more once you know.
So I'll walk you through my thought process in the least disjointed manner I can manage. Which... hoo-boy, part deux. Tagging folks who commented on the story/to me directly, certainly no expectation on my part for you to read and/or reply. Seriously. Legit. Etc. And stuff.
This took longer to write than the story. #no lie
Okay, lotsa screencaps, so I don’t (a) end up c-p’ing the whole damn thing, and more the reason (b) so can underline. 
And for ALL our brains’ sakes, I’ll call our dude Michael, and other world’s dude Mike from here on.  Plotting stuff in red, theological stuff in blue, randoms (Nash Be Nashin’ and SPN canon stuff) in green.
The title is from that proverb “There but for the grace of God go I”, and as ye olde wiki explains....
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....and then, there’s this:
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Hopefully you picked up on something being “off” with how I was writing ol’ Mike as the story went on. I got slightly tricksy in some places on purpose regarding characterization, but hey - Mike and Michael are essentially the same angel in concept, just on different planes, right? And stuff apparently took a left turn when the apocalypse went through over yonder. So while they didn’t really re-tell the history of Apocaland beat-by-beat (thank Chuck), the inference I got is that the basic shit went down - he boots Luci after he rebels, etc. Blah blah blah, y’all know this.
Quote from Michael:
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So maybe Mike came at it from the same angle when he killed his Luci. Who knows. Though I will say - if it was some sort of duty for him and not pleasure, I wouldn’t think there’d be boasting about pulling Luci apart, nor would the knee-jerk be to string him up and torture him, at least, if he’d suddenly re-appeared before me one day. YMMV.
This is good summary from the wiki, whoever wrote it did a bang up job:
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Michael is meticulous. He slow-plays things. It’s not about being power-hungry; he had power. He was essentially God. For him, this is tied up in honor and loyalty and righting wrongs and all that jazz.
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Again - that hesitation. He never stopped loving Lucifer - and Lucifer never stopped loving any of them, we see this big time in the Elysium ep when he “killed” Gabriel. Much internal conflict with these folks. And then there’s Mike, who iced (our) Gabriel and tortured (our) Lucifer in the blink of an eye. 
There’s my characterization base of operations.
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---> Could be interpreted as Michael or Mike - applies to both. Mike would find pleasure in taking inventory of what he planned to rule, how we aren’t worthy of anything but being subjects; Michael is perhaps glad to see plenty of justifications for what he feels he’s still destined to do.
---> “Learned” for Mike = the observing we saw in the finale, comparing-and-contrasting to his world; “learned” for Michael could be (a) via Dean’s mind, and / or (b) what he could’ve seen from Mike’s mind when he whooped his ass, a.k.a. Nash’s Sneaky Twisty Thing, re: Michael is now in Dean’s body. 
So, how is that, Nash? you may ask.
Dunno.
Perhaps the distraction of Mike getting wailed on by Michael allowed Dean the opportunity to eject him, maybe Dean’s been wearing Mike down mentally. And though Dean/Sam - being the ideal hosts - have greater tolerance than us regulars, it’s gonna leave them weakened, it’s just got to. Hell, just being possessed by fill-in-the-blank leaves ya with the weeble-wobbles for a bit. Primo chance for Michael to set up shop in Dean.
Then, Nash, since angels need permission, how’d Michael do that? you may ask.
Occam’s razor --> Dean gave Michael “the soul”/”the entity”/whatever permission, and that goes across the realm, alt timelines/dimensions/whatnots. Or, maybe Dean chose the lesser of the two evils, so to speak - he’s boned at this interval anyhow, so if the opportunity arose, if it’s me, I’m choosing the frying pan over the fire - at least I’ve bought myself (and my loved ones, and the world) some time. Either of those work for what I intimated in the story.
Bottom line: however it went down, that’s for your imagination to choose.
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A point that’s called back to later, as well as Nash Be Nashin’, RE: I’ve no idea why they opted to dress him in that style. There’s other stylings that are stark contrasts to Dean’s without going full-court-press cosplay, but whatevs. In any event, assuming my premise is taken - that the worlds played out the same for the most part and the ‘20s were a fave and would explain the wardrobe - this can apply to both Mike and Michael.
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For those of you fortunate enough to have missed slogging through Sunday school, allow me: S&G was apparently a hotbed of sin, and they were gonna get the fire-and-brimstone treatment. Abraham asked angels who visited him if they’d spare the righteous, because there was at least one group there who was: his nephew Lot’s family. Two more angels were sent to investigate, Lot was awesome to them, welcomed them in without knowing they were angels, etc. So when time came to fire things up, the angels fessed up about who they were and why they were there, and told them (Lot and his crew) that they needed to just leave and not look back. And whoopsie, Lot’s wife found out that wasn’t metaphorical, as when she turned to get one last look at her home going up in flames, wha-BAM! She got turned into a pillar of salt.
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So here might be the first subconscious “Hmmm” from your mind - that doesn’t really sync up with what we know of Mike. I don’t think he gives a shit about how much he sins to get what he wants. I bet he can’t even spell benevolence. Read this in Michael’s voice, though, and I hear that whole justifying thing again, the “don’t really want to, but got to” mindset.
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See above, RE: “...but I labored more abundantly than them all”. Plus, speaks to arrogance, applicable to both Michael and Mike.
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---> “The” earth, eh? ;) 
---> Theology-wise, Michael’s only named a couple times, if memory serves... actually most of them are name dropped just a handful of times... did they namedrop Gabe as the one who told Mary she was preggers? I’m not looking it up.
Anyway, theologians have assigned certain “messages” delivered and punishments as being enacted by specific angels, I won’t go down that road here, I’ve no clue how they managed to arrive at those conclusions. Point is that Michael was a guardian, of heaven and of certain places/people on earth, depending on where God assigned. I wanna say Daniel and the lion’s den was one of them. Not looking that up, either.
---> "Temporarily”, hmmm.... that other world looked plenty definitively apoca-sized to me. In any event, floods is a ref to the Noah story, and if memory serves, Michael is thought by some to have been the “angel of death” that struck down the firstborn sons during the plagues of Egypt.
Also also - I’d speculate he’s taken on some self-imposed blame for Lucifer sneaking into the garden and tempting Adam & Eve, as he is so convicted in SPN land about righting the wrongs Lucifer brought upon the world, and that’s the event that kicked shit off. 
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---> O.T. (old testament) God took no shit, got smitey on a dime. New Testament God (a.k.a. - post-Jesus time) flipped a switch to a more fatherly figure. 
---> The absence thing is SPN canon.
---> The differing legends is me thumbing my nose at their neglect of both their own canon and theology. #dammit Dabb
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---> So, again, choose your poison - Luci getting into the garden, then Michael having to wage battle in heaven to boot him (and, let’s be real, he likely had followers that got nailed, too), etc. etc. etc.
---> The plans refer to the stuff up there from the wiki - that was an intricate damn plan. Deceptive, sure, but again that whole “bigger picture” mentality. 
---> RE: beloved - yeah, that’s not sounding like the Mike we’ve been presented with.
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Now that’s a pretty detailed thing to know about a random coffee joint in a random town in a random state in a strange world, wouldn’t you say? ;)
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---> Trinities, trifectas, triples - threes are trendy numbers in stories and legends and oral tradition, so it comes up here multiple times, as well. And he’s talking about Jesus, of course, and the green Nashy line is me thinking “Wonder what he thought about Amara?” 
(’Cause I’m of the thought that Amara + Chuck = God, yin-yang and all, but from the very black-and-white Michael’s perspective, I could see him playing nice but not buying into it, and I mean, he was part of the crew that banished her on Chuck’s orders, so there you go. He may not have even been privy to the scoop that they were the corporeal forms of light/dark, maybe just of the understanding that she was his meddling aunt, and of course he was gonna do whatever his dad told him to do. Anyhow, I think that adds additional texture to why it frustrates him so much that Luci couldn’t fall in line, why Luci always had to ask questions. ---> and that’s just me, there’s no way y’all could’ve inferred it from just that, you’re not psychic, I’m just sharing. I digress. I’m good for some heavy digressin’.)
There is a specific things-come-in-threes story that’s my baseline, but I’ll tell you further down after #3 hits.
On we go...
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The chick we come to know as Grace does not catch his eye because she is pretty or sweet or in need of assistance or pouty or flirty or super-smart, or even beautiful or too shy and bookish, but if she’d just take off those damn glasses and let her hair out of that ponytail she might be, whatever trope you wanna throw on her - she’s a sinner, another hopeless sinner in a long line of humans who were/are fucking this joint up.
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---> There’s several feet-washing stories in the Bible. I hate feet. That’s not in the Bible, and has no bearing here. Add it to your Nash factoids. Moving on. 
The one I had in mind is below, and Imma c/p the pertinent parts because lazy. Bolding is mine, natch. In Luke 7....
36 One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, so Jesus went into the Pharisee’s house and sat at the table. 37 A sinful woman in the town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she brought an alabaster jar of perfume 38 and stood behind Jesus at his feet, crying. She began to wash his feet with her tears, and she dried them with her hair, kissing them many times and rubbing them with the perfume. 39 When the Pharisee who asked Jesus to come to his house saw this, he thought to himself, “If Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman touching him is a sinner!”
40 Jesus said to the Pharisee, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”
Simon said, “Teacher, tell me.”
[parable]
44 Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. 47 I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.”
48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” [...] “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”
The other 4 gospels - Matthew, Mark & John - tell a similar story. (But in John’s the woman isn’t a random - it’s one of the sisters of Lazarus, the guy Jesus raised from the dead. #cool trivia digression)
 --> “Hot as hell” and “thank God” is just Nash Be Nashin’.
--> Start of the main trinity (1A)
--> Again, he’s not digging on her because she’s so awesomesauce in some typical way; she’s a dichotomy to him, sin with sweet. He’s a black-and-white kind of guy (and pretty much every angel we’ve met). It’s interesting to him, that seeming heel-turn. We’ll call back to those verses above here in a bit, with respect to how he feels about her as he spends more time with her.
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Quickie trinity.
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Nash Be Nashin’.
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Recurring theme, forgiveness; also - that sound like Mike to you? At least, at this point? Eh. Maybe. If he’s trying to manipulate. But on the other hand - if this were Mike - has she got something he wants/needs? Manipulate Dean, sure; manipulate rando server chick? Possible. But nah. 
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---> Would Mike ask that? Why would he care? But Michael might, trying to get a bead on this human. ‘Cause remember, this is an angel who has had sparing contact with humans since he’s been in charge, he’s been dispatching angels for the heavy lifting, he’s not been boots on the ground takin’ care of business for quite awhile. His only in-depth contact has been the Winchesters, and that was only when he had to step in.
---> Also, close siblings recurring theme (close because able to joke around as well as later, when she mentions he’d vent to her about his time in war but not to the same degree as he did the rest of their family)
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---> the main trinity of this story, part deux (and don’t get ahead of me; fine, I’ll do it for you: no, Michael having the nickname I mention later isn’t Biblical)
---> Lucifer was called The Morning Star (see also dictionary, re: “luciferous”)
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---> Now that would be a really pretty damn specific thing for Mike to know. 
---> The keep an eye out - again, reinforcing the theme that Michael whiffed not seeing the Lucifer thing coming; also lawbreakers looking out for the authorities, a contrast with an authority - God/Michael/et al - looking out for wrongdoers. 
---> Park with a sandbox, Nash Be Nashin’
---> Bit tricksy; could go to Mike coming from his world to here, could be Michael feeling like this is a world he doesn’t know anymore after all his time in the cage; regardless, sets a tone of “She gets me”
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Whether you cotton to my assertion that Michael may feel guilt for not seeing the Lucifer stuff coming and preventing his initial ingress (Eden), it’s theology 101 that Lucifer brought all things evil and sin and demon and hell and blah blah blah to humankind. And Michael beat him in heaven, but it’s been less offense and more defense ever since; reacting to Luci vs. bringing the game to him. Which is what Michael was finally doing, when the Winchesters didn’t agree to be vessels and let it play out like he’d planned.
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So, Saint Michael on the theology end, ruling heaven in Chuck’s absence on the SPN canon end, and Michael’s arrogant, to be sure. He assumed his plan would go off without a hitch, and maybe if it’d been the Hardy Boys instead of the Winchesters, it would’ve [shrugs]
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---> Nash Be Nashin’ - trying to poke your subconscious to think about that shot of them falling into the hole, to the cage
---> Could we describe Mike as “broken”? I couldn’t. More to the point, does he behave as if he might consider himself “broken”? Hmmm.
---> I guess that last bit could go either way; for me, I’m thinking of how Lucifer must’ve behaved in the cage, which we got a taste of via Sam’s hallucinations, and perhaps it being too quiet once he was gone. Sometimes being left alone with your thoughts is a bad time.
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Again, canon - Lucifer never met a quiet moment he didn’t wanna fill.
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So this is just me doing a second sin in the sin trilogy for Michael, as well as adding another piece of common ground between him and Grace with the nickname thing. The only Biblical truth there is the whole “Mark of the Beast” thing. Next time you get drunk or lit on whatever, read you some Revelations, it’ll either knock you out the rest of the way or give you fantastic nightmares.
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What I just said, RE: second part of the Michael Lies Super Easy When It Comes To This Chick trilogy. I mean, not really - it’s coming from a good place, he doesn’t want to scare her, and if he told her the truth, where would he even start? Especially with her not being religious. He’s so far behind the eight ball, he’s under the pool table.
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---> So here’s the trinity tale that’s the base for why I put this in the story. It’s in all four gospels (Matthew/Mark/Luke/John), and it’s about how at the Last Supper (which happens right before the crucifixion of Jesus goes down), they’re talking about how one of them would betray Jesus (re: Judas), and an apostle named Peter speaks up.
(Oh! Speaking of, there’s another triple play for ya - Jesus ends up on a cross between two criminals. Okay, back to the passages)
Matthew:
Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”
Mark:
Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.”
But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”
Luke:
But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”
John:
Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”
Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”
Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”
Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? Very truly I tell you, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
---> Grace be shinin’, Nash Be Nashin’
---> What made him kiss her / risk the “sin”? She walked with him. (”Lord I am ready to go with you...”). She listened. She comforted him. She forgave him when he asked for it (re: for scaring her). She believed he wasn’t a horrible “person”. Prompted him to consider there might be a place/time where he wasn’t (see below, RE: “perhaps”). 
A la.... 
But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” [...] “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”
---> You may’ve noticed I didn’t call him Michael until Dean was gone during the kiss - that was on purpose. Because that was him making that decision, no (potential) Dean influence on board. And I didn’t have him call Dean by his name, being very distant throughout, until they talked about brothers, their common ground. He’s finding common ground with humans - a new kind of hallowed ground - versus being solely their guardian or their punisher, depending. This is (likely, hopefully) a good thing.
---> RE: sin - see below
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---> This is your call to make - was it actually apple-flavored lip balm? Or was it strawberry/random fruity-flavored lip balm like Dean thought, and it just tasted like apples to Michael?
In any event, RE: “tasted like sin” - apples have been commonly used in art/stories as representing the fruit Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil back in the garden, a.k.a. - the original sin
HOME STRETCH!
[Full disclosure: based on early feedback, from here on out - if you were an early reader - you may notice there’s been a few tweaked lines since original publish, so I may be about to clarify things that are now - with the tweaks - obvious to you. I’m just sayin’.]
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By this point, I’d hope you’d been kinda thinking, “I appreciate Nash’s effort to make Mike be not a complete asshole, but holy moly I have been suspending my disbelief like a mo-fo as this went on, why does he give a shit about this chick or about chatting with Dean all friendly, etc.”
---> That “Why didn’t we....” part should scream “THIS ISN’T MIKE”. I hope.
---> It’s been about 10 yrs. since Stull / when Michael took the dive
---> “Is there...” / “Perhaps” -- and maybe it’s this one. Maybe it’s the world he’s always known, but not been part of; remains to be seen. He’s a different dude. This ain’t the same angel that went into that cage. Like Chuck said - he’s a mess. Or maybe, now, could we say... was a mess? Hmmm. Different, though. Definitely different. Not terribly un-canon, not a huge jump to make, in my mind. 
And, you know, The Cage was Luci’s big punishment, right? And he’s fine. Anytime we saw him, in the caboose version or just-been-sprung, he’s been same-ol’, same-ol’. So maybe it’s simply an isolation room, and it’s only been BAD-bad for Sam and Adam and Michael, because Luci was there messing with them, because he’s bored off his ass. That’s why I posit The Cage may not be anything beyond blank space, as it were, if Luci’s not present. 
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What Mike would “likely” bring? Nah. Mike’s on the express train to domination. He’s not messing around.
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Nash Be Nashin’. I am, on occasion, poetic. “His” is a callback to “my Michael”, and the “g” in “grace” is lower case on purpose. [clears throat, c/ps from up yonder....]
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Grace don’t come in just one form, yo. There’s lots floating out there. Just gotta pay attention. Know what to watch for.
And here’s the hammer:
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Hmmmm....
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---> Dean knows Mike’s been thinking of it; to quote Black Widow, that’s not a question that needs answering.
---> “Still”? “Do-over?” - Mike’s had his apocalypse. Do-over of what? That implies Mike’s tried to pull off Apocaworld, Part Deux here, and... he hasn’t tried at this point. He’d said they were already looking into what all other worlds they could get to before Jack’s birth caused our rift and they saw an opportunity for a better way, but Mike’s not taken a run at our world; Michael has. (Bit of a misleading, open-to-interpretation / could apply to Mike line, though, I grant you.)
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---> “over there” - already mentioned “head to the cage”, ergo “there” is “cage”
---> “act” / “figure it out” - thaaaat’s nooot Miiiike, your subconscious sings!
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---> Say I’m Mike. 
I’m a tactical mofo. I know how to spot an enemy, it’s why I was gonna take out Jack emotionally if I couldn’t cripple him or kill him. I hit this new world. I’m inside a very handsome I MEAN powerful bod. I am locked and loaded. What’s first on the agenda now that I’ve got the ammo?
I take out potential threats. Dean’s an obstacle, true, but he’ll be tucked away going night-night for at least a bit, and I can likely wash-rinse-repeat as needed. Obstacle, though - he’s not an inherent threat to me. Lucifer’s out of the way. Raphael’s out of the way. Gabriel’s out of the way.
Oh. Oh noooes, FML: I’m not out of the way. 
And holy shit - the holiest of all the shits - I could take myself out. Isn’t he in the Fort Knox of binding-thingy-traps-whatever?
But wait. Waaaaait, wait - that cage must be made of aluminum foil, I can see Dean’s memories. Some tacky decoder rings opened it up, his brother Sam got pulled from it, then the angel of death got Sam’s soul out of it, rando witch called up the caboose of it like it was Uber, Lucifer popped Dean and his crew in-and-out of it, and didn’t that demon Crowley use parts of it for some ill-explained ingredient to hold Lucifer hostage like it was melty MacGuffin cheese? Is there not a doorman or something?! Can they get pizza delivered down there, too, I mean TF?
Ooooh, now this is interesting. Chuckie told Dean Michael’s beyond his repair. Lucifer said Michael’s a mess... well. Consider that source. But still. Risk not too high, reward could be very high.
Yeah. I’m totes arrogant enough. This is gonna be a cake-walk.
---> Except... time moves differently in the cage, we know that. So Lucifer’s been gone for... hell, who knows how long. What state Michael might be in now is a mystery. He’s had time to regroup, at the very least, without his chief antagonist lording over him. So is it implausible that Michael could be the key to nailing Mike’s ass to the wall? Might it even be probable? 
The board of directors at NashHole, Inc. voted “Yeeeeessss”.
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Again, bro-love, evergreen recurring theme. So, here it is:
If I’m Michael, my perspective would be that Mike can handle his world how he pleases, and he did. But now he’s on my turf. I’m taking great umbrage with this power-hungry twin of mine coming over here and having the audacity to make decisions, take over my destiny, etc.
And then another part of it - Michael’s not only had a lot of time in the cage to get his mojo back, he’s also had time to process the whole situation, what led him to this place, the part he played. I’d imagine a part of him is still gripping onto his convictions, while on the other hand starting to realize that there are parts of this world - and people in this world - that already make it a paradise despite all that Lucifer/demons/the supernaturals have done. 
Maybe an apocalypse isn’t the answer. Maybe Lucifer doesn’t have to die. Bottom line, that ain’t Mike’s call to make; it’s Michael’s.
Last thing!
Handful of you asked about how Mike would’ve opened the cage, how a fight would’ve gone down if Michael’s still in Adam, what about Adam, and my answer is - does it matter? I know, I know, that sounds snotty; it matters in the sense that you asked, so it matters to you. Where I’m coming from is that this isn’t what the story is about, not for me. But hey - you fill in those blanks however your heart desires, truly. Or pretend that twist at the end never happened, and think of this as Mike the whole way through. :) 
.....
.....
.....
That cage is made of chewed gum and pipe cleaners, a hamster could get in there, I’m done, I’m DONE, okay bye.
@ellen-reincarnated1967  @waywardjoy  @copperseraphim @bumbleball13  @inlovewith2dcharacters  @impandagrl  @theoriginalvicki  @mrswhozeewhatsis  @littlegreenplasticsoldier  @butiaintgonnaloveem  @salt-n-burn-em-all  @sixtysevenandwhiskey  @anticipate1003  @juppschmitz  @smi727  @casismybae  @jalove-wecallhimdean  @salvachester  
27 notes ¡ View notes
loudsoulgentlemen ¡ 3 years ago
Text
Sunday Word
Adventures Of Jesus.
Long Ago. JESUS!
In This Time. JESUS!
What More Do You WAnt Me To SAy?
***
Baby Jesus.
His Friend Called Him To The Window And Said "Jump".
Jesus Is A Good Boy. But He HAd To Learn To Climb. And Jump. Outside A Window. And ThAts. Just Friends. And His Dad.
Feel Naughty Now!?
I Am A Perfect Specimen Of The Lord. I Am Not Sure He Has A Funny Bone My Father.
Hehehe! HE DOES! .
***
To Be Perfect Is To UnderStand No One Will Ever Understand You.
Do NO WRONG IN THIS WORLD FULL OF SIN!
We Keep Living. We Keep Marching.
JESUS!
The Perfect Baby Boy. Smooches. :)
***
JESUS! In The Current World.
Calling All HAnds Calling All Hands.
ThAts Code For YOU! CAlling All HAnds!
What Do You Mean?
Your The Big Gun. Now Finish It.
I'd Have To Ask The Lord Where He Is.
Then Go Ahead! He Does Listen.
Could Be Busy. "Calling All Hands"
JESUS! . Just Finish It.
Calling All Hands!
YOU ARE ALL HANDS!
O.o Huh!?
We Can't Kill Him. BUT. YOu CAn.
"Calling All Hands Calling All HAnds"
Hahaha! Even On A Mission You Make Me Smile.
AnyThing To Help.
I Need A Weapon.
We Killed A Few People To Enter This MAster Control. Pick One!?
I'll Take The KAtana.
Smart Choice. Never Runs Out Of Bullets.
o.O
ThAt MANY!?
YAP! AND THEY CANT KILL YOU!
Boostings.
Stop Speaking Like A JEw!
I Made Those You Know!
What Dont I Know. :)
O..O . O,,O . O.!.O .
***
A Very Steady Boat.
The Arrows I Know! The Bullets!? I Dont Know!
They're Firing At Us!
*Boom* The Ship Is On FIRE!
We Can't Dodge The Bullets We Gotta Take One For The Team. DO THE SPELL!
JESUS!?
YAP! DO THE SPELL!
Lets Go Towards The Arrows!
ThAt's EXACTLY WHAT SET THE BOAT ON FIRE! YOU STUPID!
ATLEAST MY MOUTH ISN'T BIGGER THAN MY DICK!
BLESS.
NAH HA!
OKAY OKAY . I GOT A PLAN.
YES JESUS!?
JUMP INTO THE WATER,
THEIR'S RAPIDS,
ALL THE MORE FAVOURABLE!
WE COULD DROWN! O.o !
Trust In The Lord.
Go After The Arrows?
I Am 99% Sure They Can't Shoot Right!
The English Are Coming The English Are Coming!
HAHAHA!
*Lets Go After The Arrows!*
TRUST IN THE LORD!
#TRUSTINTHELORD!
***
BAby Jesus And An Unlikely Companion.
In The BAstilles.
You Hungry?
Come Here Little Fella.
I Learnt My Lesson. FIGHT! Fight To Stay Alive.
Here's Some Food. Hope You Enjoy It.
While We're On The Subject? Got AnyWay Outta HErE!?
Chirp Chirp.
That's A Good Boy! Show Me Out!
*Get The Keys First Or Get Me More Food*
You WAnt MOre FOOD!? YOUR AN HONEST FELLOW. I KEEP SOME BEHIND MY BED. I RATION. And You Didn't Steal My Food? Fab Friends!
*Like This Guy* *Went OutSide And Caused A Commotion* *Falling Mail.*
Hey, FREAK! WHO DID THAT! ! HOW I DID YOU DO THAT!?
Please Company Can I Have Some Water?
It's Wwithin Your Rgihts. Give Me Your Cup.
*Boom Bang Poodle Yurp!* *On The Floor. Took The Keys.*
ComeOn Little Fella Let's Get Out Of Here!
Chirp. :(
More Food!? *Chirp*
Fine I'll Pay You First.
Do you Prefer Gold Or Food!?
Chirp.
OkAy OkAy. Food.
Lets Find Their Kitchens.
Chirp.
I Am Master At Disguise Plus Plenty Of People Come In Here.
Chirp.
I'll Take The Uniform. You Sure You Don't WAnt MOney!?
Chirp!
WE HAVE A DEAL!
*Off To The Kitchens We Go*
AnyOne Around The Corner?
*Norp*
What About This One?
NOPE!
Oh Fuck'it I'll Scan The Whole Area And Get Back To Him
Smooth Sailing All The Way To The Kitchen Daddy Oh
If You Knew Where The Kitchens Were Why Do You Need ME!?
Human And We Have A Deal. GET ME MORE FOOD!
HAPPILY PAYABLE.
HEY YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO BE HERE! HAVENT SEEN YOU BEFORE!
Chirp.
You HAve Gold Do A Spell Human.
His Heart Is Awakening Old Folk And Mass Energy. Should Help.
Chirp!
AWH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!
BABY JESUS!
Around The Corner
The Plague Is Coming The Plague IS Coming!
I've Been Bit!
DONT TELL ANYONE!
I AM SCARED!
HOW MUCH!?
ALL YOUR GOLD ON YOUr PERSON!
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN. BUT SURE . TAKE IT .
FROMWHENSCO AND BEYOND. KEEP YOURSELF INTACT OLD MAN. Your Secret Is Safe With Me.
*They Both WAlked Away*
*Hihihi! Where's The Rat! Does HE STILL NEED PAYMENT!?*
Chirp Chirp.
Take The Money You Earned It. Chirp Chirp. :(
FINE! I'LL BUY YOU FRESH FOOD.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
CHIRP CHIRP!
HELLO CHIRP CHIRP. I AM JESUS. :)
***
Adventures OF BAby JEsus!
*A Woman* His Not ThAt Much Of A BAby! Trust Me. ;)
Reconnaiscence And Report.
How Much Is That!?
It's Not For Sale.
I Have Garments?
Is The City At One?
Plenty Of Adventures Around Every Corner. Family Name?
Nazareth.
Go In Peace. I Like Your Hair.
It's About To Change Today.
You Need Help!?
His Too Good!
Try The Pavallions When He Senses You. Gold Dust Goes A Long WAy?
My HAir.
It'll Grow Back, 5 Gold 30 Silver. You Wont Lose Your Man.
Accepted,
Now I Must Go His On The Hunt .
35 Minutes Later. JEsus Was Breathing HEavily. Plenty Of Murderers Around But I Need Information. Just Extra Silver. Reconnaissence Mission. Keep Up, Keep Track, Listen And Report.
Hhhmm. A Royal House. Not Too Many OF Them Around HEre. Think.
*The Heavens* *Go Take A Closer Look*
EveryOne Will See Me.
*Find A Disguise*
Angel Dust Is Second Life. He Hasn't Seen Me Yet.
So. Shillings For Your Attire.
Yours Is Pretty Nice.
It's Not Going No Where.
Thank You.
Climbed The Onld Wooden Railings For Painting And Got To Work.
2 Seconds Later He Came Out.
Its REALLY WARM IN HERE.
*Don't Get Rid Of The Garments. Third Life. Yes!*
45 Minutes Later. He Turned Around and SMelt SomeThing Funny In The Air.
Royalty. In These Ends Of The Woods?
Huh!.?
*Diamond Dust*
All Of A Sudden. He Stopped Looking At That Building And Went Further On His Way.
*His Trying To Kill Me
Just Find Out What's In There WithOut Him Seeing. Gotta Follow Him Alot Longer Than Calculated. Then Turn Around And Find Out His Treasure.
"Hello"
WoW
The Prettiest Little Girl From A Very Dangerous Bad Man.
"Hey Sweety How Long Have You Been There?"
Long Enough To Know Your Looking For My Dad. You Can Talk To My Mum Though. She's Friendly :)
Always, Little Girls, Vatican. And They Say There Is No Justice. Fin The Herd. She's Rather Friendly As Well. He Couldnt Be THAT Bad Of A Guy? Could He?
*She's Dangerous* *She's Been Touched* *Stay On Mission*
YEs Sir!
WhAt!? Who You Talking To?
A Friend.
Now Be Good And Tell Your Dad Nazareth Stopped By. *30 Gold. WhereEver He Goes*
I'll Find You :)
Is It The Dick?
The BIGGEST I've Ever Seen.
You Should Try My Father.
Is He Still Alive? What The Father Has And His Loved Son Inherits Can Be 2 To Infinity Inches Bigger. But GOD!
WoW O.o
So His Still Alive?
He Never Dies.
What's His Name?
JEHOVA!
I KNEW YOU WERE A GOD!
WHAT LINE!?
NAZARETH.
THAT'S JUST A TITLE WHERE ARE YOUR PEOPLE?
NAZARETH!
Can I GEt A Kiss GoodBye?
Your Father Should BE Home ANYTIME!
YOUR NOT MY FATHER! AND NOBODY ELSE LIKES ME.
BE PATIENT LITTLE ONE, COULD BE MILLENIA TILL YOU GET YOUR BETHROED.
WHY IS HE HERE NOW!?
THAT'S A BAD GAME. HOW MANY ARE WE SAVING!?
I AM A GREAT LADY! I HAVE NO DOUBT! :)
***
Sanila, We've Kept EachOther Busy For A Long Time. What More Can I Say?
:)
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automatismoateo ¡ 4 years ago
Text
My experience living in the end via /r/atheism
Submitted April 30, 2021 at 02:32PM by hajaco92 (Via reddit https://ift.tt/3gQuROL) My experience living in the end
Feel free to direct me to another subreddit if this is not the right place.
I was born and raised in the End Times. No, it's true, my whole life I have been prepared by the church, my peers, and my family to die. That wouldn't be so bad. After all, everyone dies sometime. It's just frustrating how imminent they always made out to be. Surely this year or next christ is coming. Read the bible. It's all there. We're certain that we're now living through Revelations in real time, clearly evidenced by the wars in the middle east. Left Behind will prepare us for the sudden rapture. It's all the sin that's to blame. All the abortions and the gays, obviously.
So I waited... And I sang and I stood in church and listened to how muslims and catholics and atheists especially would all go to hell. Service after service and people would cry and throw their hands up and some would even scream and lay hands on each other to pray away all the sin and they'd look into my eyes and say "don't you feel it? Don't you feel the holy spirit?" And I would lie and say that I did, when what I actually thought was that either everyone there was mentally ill, or I must be a singularly defective child not to know God. He would show himself if I was more deserving and believed harder.
God, who is all knowing and all loving, but who allows children to be born of rape, destined for starvation. Kids in other countries that the missionaries would save. I mean sure, reading the bible won't put food in their bellies but I guess that's second next to saving their savage souls. Would be a pity for them to starve to death only to awake in hellfire. Jesus said suffer the little children unto me, but I think the church must have read that as let the children suffer. Not sure... Might have been a miscommunication.
So I waited and I watched for christ to make it obvious. I watched church deacons make passes at my mother while their wives watched, only to blame her for it later. I watched elders preach forgiveness as they practiced violence on their kids and allowed their sons to rape their daughters. Probably her fault anyway. The slut. No one wants a sandwich with a bite taken out of it. Nobody likes wearing someone else's sock. Good thing god forgives us our trespasses. Maybe he forgives women too, if they're just quiet and obedient enough. If they just lie still and let the leader of the house have his way, that way he won't cheat too often. It wouldn't be his fault anyway. As we all know women are sinful and provocative....
None of that matters though because we're living in the end times and mostly saved. Obama is so obviously the anitchrist that we're sure to be raptured at any moment! But Revelations does drag on a bit. Thank God Trump came to save us. A shining beacon of christian light upon the land. Who cares if he's never been to church or read the bible? God works in mysterious ways, am I right? And I suppose that if he commits tax fraud, and cheats on his wives, and steals, and sexually harasses his co-workers, and objectifies teenagers, well hey, nobody is perfect and even Hitler went to heaven, and I'm sure god has a plan.
Any moment now we're sure to be raptured because joe biden is clearly the antichrist, or a body double and trump will come back and save us! Any minute now. I mean, I'm glad I went ahead and got a job out of high school because the rapture is taking a real long time and I would have been pretty hungry if I had just hung out and waited to die, but I'm sure He'll be along any minute now. Then all our problems will be solved because he'll kill all those gays and those sluts and atheists like Ocasio-cortez who believe in fairy tales like global warming. He'll come right back and put me in my place and massacre all these sinners because God is love and this is trump country!
Or, maybe he won't need to since most of the unclean already took the fake vaccine with a microchip in it because of that fake virus that definitely isn't real, or is, but you don't have to worry if you're saved. Those of us who opted to accept the mark of the beast will surely drop dead at any moment. After all, this is Revelations and we're all living in the End. We have been since the beginning.
0 notes
lecherouswritings ¡ 6 years ago
Text
I gotta dump these alterations here excuse me!!! I guess if anyone doesn’t want spoilers to my stories lol
Had some ideas I didn’t wanna forget so I’m gonna dump them here for further development when the day comes someday. The hunters! There’s that burly trapper dude, the sharpshooter dude, and the manipulative lady. I think I want her to deal with poisons and stuff? One hunter is killed in Georgia, Rat has a snap-second reaction and kills this guy on the spot without realizing it’s like a hunter. Peter recognizes him, bursts out laughing when Rat kills him ?? hmm Can’t decide which hunter bites it first. The sharpshooter is really cute and all the girls fawn over him and it makes Peter mad because he’s a gross weirdo and doesn’t like competition. Sharpshooter loves birds, his sister and him keep birds and Peter loves birds too. Loves them. The village declines because Grandfather has a CHANGE OF HEART and decides human sacrifices are OUT and love is IN and that makes Peter SO ANGERY... it makes Hito angry too!!!!! THE LAND IS CURSED THAT’S WHY PPL THINK THEY’RE SEEING WOLVES BUT THEY   ARE   NOT   WOLVES  LOL the founders aka 3 lil piggies, man with house of hay stacks, man who built house of wood, and Grandfather with his stone home, all 3 are destroyed, other two men are killed, leaving Grandfather and the residents of the land AKA HITOTIANS!!! GASP!!!! and he’s like EEHGHH PLS DON’T KILL ME I JUST WANNA START A NEW LIFE OUT HERE ALSO MY TEETH FUCKING SUCK I DIDN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM so Hito is like Ok worship me I’m God however the fuck you wanna interpret that, kill ppl for me and I’ll make everything good and he’s like gimme wolf teeth and we have a deal and she’s like OK DEAL. THAT’S WHY THE TOWN THRIVES, and he leaves town to bring in outsiders and claims THESE SINNERS WERE TRYNA HURT US and will often pick up minorities because he’s racist and gross and given the time period and area there was a lot of hostility between shitty white assholes and Mexicans/Native peoples, hey I’m not defending Grandfather here racists exist. Hito doesn’t care racist or not, as long as ppl die that’s all that matters and if he wants to do it under the guise of Jesus or whatever the fuck fine, just do the Ritual I Asked You To Do and we’re good, and he’s like yeah cool. Then he asks for MORE, I want a SON :(((( and Hito’s like ok, go fuck someone and have a son but I swear to Me you’re gonna have to up your killing game I hate the idea of letting you make more people like that’s the opposite of my teachings you dumb shit ?! THE WOLF is a manifest of the cursed Hitotian land, that since the ppl perceive the monsters as wolves that Hito is like cool, this Proto Rat creature that’s being projected, so there’s this malicious spirit that’s lingering because Grandfather is SLACKING in his murders, so the crops are failing and people are getting sick and Peter is becoming host to this Wolf thing and Grandfather is NOT A FAN OF THAT, decides it’s SATAN and we gotta DRIVE SATAN OUT, not realizing it’s his own stupid ass fault for ignoring Hito’s wishes. After he has a son he wants to like retire and start preaching love and shit. Peter had prophetic dreams of Rat and helping Rat and THAT’S SCARY NO I WANNA BE A LITTLE KID I LIKE BIRD SONGS AND STICKS ALKGHAKJGH just kidding I’ve been tied to a bed most of my life I don’t know what I like. God I guess, Grandfather tells me how much God loves me and love is supposed to be good, good good, when Peter is good Grandfather takes him on walks so GOD BLESS. But after a while he gets to move about the room and seeing people outside his toothed window and he gets Angry. Shouts HI GRANDPA from his bed tied up because he can hear the front door slam shut. Grandpa will go untie him if he’s been good and read some bible to him or feed him or tell him how his day went CENSORED VERSION LOL because the boy is............ Not right............. all that Wolf stuff growing up MY HORRIBLE SON.....but he’s gonna carry on his legacy. HAVE A SON, SON. So Grandfather is the way he is because he made a deal with Hito ( GOD ) and the Wolf ( Proto-Rat ) tries to influence him but he’s TOO STUPID so the demon goes roaming around causing havok mindless energy no where to go. A lot of Hitotian demons target kids because they don’t have any defenses and are naive. So the town does descend into some madness because Grandfather quits. I have a scene where Sharpshooter’s sister kills her sons because she had sex with Grandfather and therefore committed a Sin and punished herself by killing her kids, and then killed the birds she kept and was shoving them inside herself and screaming gibberish about how they were going to remove the sin from her, and Peter and some of the villagers are there and I think I was thinking Peter would allow Sharpshooter to kill her instead of himself as like a familial courtesy out of respect. Peter’s more upset about the birds :( and maybe some sick pleasure in seeing Sharpshooter upset having to kill his sister like idk. Taking pride in someone else’s misery. Hito keeps Grandfather alive because that’s punishment death would be the easy way out!!! Live and suffer!! I’m gonna do away with the toxic chemicals thing because Hito can just mutate people as punishment and I like that better. If Rat kills the handsome guy then ... That leave gruff trapper dude who would be more well equipped to deal with Rat in the last arc, but... I’m thinking Peter gains trust from Grandfather by getting Sharpshooter on his side like “I let you take your sister’s life, I didn’t rob you of that, I’m a man of my word and you can testify” sort of shit. Yeah, so let’s have the gruff trapper be the GA victim and the sharpshooter be in the village at the end. The lady hunter tho isn’t having any of Peter’s shit and they have a confrontation and Amy helps and yea they help each other. I like the idea of Peter covering her with a rifle as she goes out into the wild to find Rat, then Peter had to go after Amy because she gets her leg caught in a bear trap and has to get her outta there and is like Well I’m already here might as well look for Rat before Sharpshooter finds him fuuck he tells Amy to go back and hide but she sneakily trails by the time Peter finds Rat, Rat’s stuck in a hole!!! A trap!!! He can’t get out he’s all rotted and gross!!!! and he’s YOWLING!!! HELP!!! :( Sharpshooter is there, and he’s like OH PETER JUST IN TIME :))) LET’S KILL THIS THING and Amy’s watching from the thicket. Peter has some crazy ass vision and is like hhHH and shoots Sharpshooter’s kneecaps out and ties him to a tree with his own rope. Rat’s saying some gibberish and Peter’s like oh no the wolf is so hungry hungry boy feed wolf feed wolf the hunter munch munch that was a tasty leg Thank You.... Hey Friend, can you help me out of here? SO YES Peter reaches down and pulls Rat out but IT’S SYMBOLISM FOR WHEN HE WAS A KID AND REACHED OUT TO RAT AND “LET HIM IN” SO RAT GETS OUT AND IS LIKE YESSSSSBITCH the 2nd rain of blood happens and he tells Peter to run back to the village. Amy follows behind him. I HAVEN’T DECIDED HOW RYAN, JESS, AND KYLE GET OUT OF THEIR TORTUROUS PREDICAMENT YET BUT I WILL BECAUSE THEY’RE THERE and they all reunite and RAT DESCENDS ONTO THE VILLAGE AND KILLS EVERYBODY LOL, theres all these Hitotian demons that just DECIMATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. Ryan is SO MAD at Peter because this is ALL HIS FAULT, and Amy already had this fight with Peter but they reconciled and teamed up but RYAN IS NOT FORGIVING and GOUGES PETER’S EYES OUT SO HE CAN’T SEE HIS GOD ( THIS IS SO SAD.meme ) and it’s the real first time since his reign as tyrant of the village when he was younger just FLIP THE FUCK OUT because Rat’s going through his final stages of metamorphosis and everyone can witness it but Peter slkdgjslkgh RYAN!!!!!! I think the castration of Rat happens just before the villagers capture them ??? SPEAKING OF CASTRATION that was really big with Peter, lots of sterilizing and castrating because THE ROOT OF PEOPLE’S SINS ARE THEIR DESIRES so I love that he has this knack for cutting genitals and Rat’s like I NEED A CUT BRO and he’s like oh Yeah I know this song and dance hold my beer. I think tho.... Peter has to kill his Grandfather, maybe after he returns to the village? I can’t decide if it’s a YES I FINALLY GET TO KILL YOU or a I LOVE YOU AFTER ALL BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS :(((( I can’t decide. I’LL FIGURE THIS OUT LATER. Also what if Grandfather was creeping on Eunice and so when Peter had a thing with her, he had Hito’s demons go kill her off in the woods??? hmm... idk how I feel about that.... or Rat’s wolf entity would ?? Yeah he would lol just to fuck with Peter, fuck you for having nice things you dumb bitch COME WORSHIP ME IN A FEW DECADES NERD!!! If I think of anything else I’ll make another dump post but there’s SO MUCH and also I gotta sleep but this is what I got in the last few days.
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theragamuffininitiative ¡ 7 years ago
Note
Hey, rags....I'm wondering if you could bestow some sage advice on me. Every once in a while, I tend to have these spurts where I'm just, well, lusting (for a lack of a more subtle word) after attractive men. I'm having one of those phases now that's lasted quite a long time. I know it's wrong and sinful, but at the same time, I don't feel bad because I'm single. I'm in my 30's and I've never had so much as a kiss on the cheek. I don't want to be physical physical, but my body wants something.
Hey there, friend. ❤︎
I think the first thing to do is pray. This may sound trite or impractical, but truly there is nothing more helpful than bringing our pains and burdens and sins directly to the cross. We’re going to be tempted and we’re going to sin in this life, but the closer we draw to Christ, the less of anything else we will want. And he is the only Person we can find true help in.
We all struggle with sin, and I’d wager most of us struggle or have struggled with lustful thoughts. This is an article I’ve found helpful. It’s written from a male perspective so a lot of the wording follows, but at its core lust in men and lust in women stem from the same source and end in the same results, so it all applies. There is nothing wrong with sexual desire within a marriage as defined by God. Human beings were created with companionship and even romance in mind. We see that from the first chapters in Genesis to Revelation and to the daily lives we live. The problem with our broken nature is letting Self enter and take over the equation, always taking the good and bending it away from God and toward ourselves.
I’ve started reading Gods at War by Kyle Idleman, a gift to me a few years ago. Idleman puts forth the same concept that the above article ends with: at the very root of sinful desire is another, seemingly archaic, sin: idolatry. We might not have little stone statues we worship, but every sin and every lustful attitude is a result of loving something other than, more than, God.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a magical formula to steer your thinking away from sinning, as much as every single one of us wishes there was.
But by focusing on God, his word, and obedience to him, your love for him will grow as you fight every battle, and his grace is boundlessly and overwhelmingly deep and sure.
I have no practice in bestowing sage advice, but I can point you to the best place to find some:
Lamentations 3:25-27 “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.” This a verse is for singles. Granted, this passage isn’t talking about waiting for a spouse. It’s about waiting on the Lord. But that’s the point: the Lord is good to those who wait for him. He knows what you need. The preceding verses tell us “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.” Don’t think “How can I live without sex for another year or decade or two decades.” Think about today. The Lord has given you grace for this day and he will give you grace for the every subsequent day in which you follow God in the midst of unmet desires. 
Hebrews 2:17-18 “Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Jesus was tempted, not as we are from a sinful nature. But there were external voices calling him to sin. Let us not underestimate the real nature of his temptations and undercut his sympathy and his ability to help. Jesus was hungry in the wilderness. He had a desire, a want. He was enticed to make the stones bread so he could enjoy the pleasure of food. But he told the devil, “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Matt. 4:1-3). In our moments of sexual temptation, we need to think, “Flesh does not sustain me. Jesus does.”
Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” This has been the most helpful verse for me in fighting lust and the temptation to sexual immorality. We need to fight desire with desire. Satan tempts us by holding out something that will be pleasurable to us. We aren’t tempted to gorge ourselves on liverwurst, because for most of us, it doesn’t hold out the promise of great pleasure. But sex does. Pornography does. A second look does. The Bible gives us many weapons to fight temptation. We can tell ourselves it is wrong, it is sinful, it will lead to bad things, it isn’t what I should do as a Christian. All of those are helpful. But the one weapon we rarely use is more pleasure. We need to fight the fleeting pleasure of sexual sin with the far greater, more abiding pleasure of knowing God. The fight for sexual purity is the fight of faith. It may sound like nothing but hard work and gritting your teeth–the very opposite of faith. But faith is at the heart of this struggle. Do we believe that a glimpse of God is better than a glimpse of skin? Do we believe that God’s steadfast love is better than life (Psalm 63:3)? We’d probably sin less if we spent less time thinking about our sins, sexual or otherwise, and more time meditating on the love and holiness of God.
Ephesians 1:19-21 “…and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” The great power that created the world, and saved us, and raised Jesus from the dead–that same power is now at work in you. We must believe that God is stronger than sexual temptation, sin, and addiction. If you believe that God brought a dead man back to life, you should believe that you can change. Not over night usually, but from one degree of glory to the next. Work out your salvation from sexual sin with fear and trembling, for God’s power is already at work within you.
[Source]
Let your heart’s affection and your mind’s attention be focused on Christ. And by “let” I really mean “very forcibly, in concentration, with a great deal of effort and focus.” Because it’s hard. But in the end, only Jesus is worth it.
Does that mean you’re doomed to endless struggling against this sin, and to loneliness without romance in a relationship? No, not necessarily. Again, love and marriage are good things ordained by our creator. But the love of God and the pursuit of him is the highest form and without it, nothing else can ever satisfy or save.
I’ll be praying for you, my friend. If you can, I highly encourage you to seek out a group or an individual who you can trust and confide in, and allow them to come alongside you to pray for and encourage you as well.
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poealsobucky ¡ 7 years ago
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Time to be Saved!
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I’m spending Christmas Eve with Hot Joseph. Block ‘hot joseph 2017′ to disregard this post.
Sorry. I meant to start this earlier but my super Polish grandma would have come back to haunt me if I didn’t make pierogies first.
ANYWAYS. Let’s do this! Stream-of-consciousness style.
Disclaimer: I’m sober and was raised Catholic so some saltiness might appear.
Oscar I hope you know I’m watching this for you. Ugh. I could be watching elf.
Ooh there’s a word crawl! Foreshadowing?
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Zachariah is gettin the good word - you’re gonna be a daddy! 
Oh shit he just ripped off his sacramental garb! 
Now we’re in a field. 
Mary, you aren’t allowed to have fun. TSK TSK
There he is! HOT JOSEPH EVERYBODY! Checkin out Mary as she walks by!
You know, Mary’s parents are not very nice.
I’m having CCD flashbacks. Help me hot Joseph.
Ohhhhhh he’s hammering.fjdjdn
Wait dudes on horses are interrupting his hammering.
Oh fuck someone didn’t pay their taxes. 
Joseph looks concerned
They are taking women to pay for taxes, fuck these dudes! HIDE YO DAUGHTERS!!!
Hide, Mary!!!!
HOT JOSEPH PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE ENOUGH CASH!!!
he BOUGHT THE MULE HE GAVE IT TO MARY THIS IS TRUE LOVE. HOLY MOLY HOT JOSEPH YOU ARE THE BEST 
The prophecy ain’t no myth. You’re all fucked.
Okay there is Persia, we’ve moved everyone. 
Codebreakers! Where’s dan brown?!
THESE ARE THE WISE MEN
They are intense. 
Oh back to Israel. 
JOSEPH IS THERE WAITING.
Mary just got told she was betrothed and now she’s married
See what happens when you accept a dude’s mule?
He just got the no sex talk from Mary’s old man.
She isn’t hearing it, she left
HOT JOSEPH I’M SORRY
MARY what’s up you saw him right? With your own eyes? 
You will love him Mary don’t worry.
Joseph is good AND strong. Mary isn’t so sure. She guesses he’s like 5′7 1/2 though which is towering back then.
There are creepy whispers...is that Gabriel? 
Mary found favor Idk they are talking softly 
More CCD flashbacks.
She just takes this ethereal strangers word for it ya know. What is she gonna tell Hot Joseph?
Mary wants to go see Zach and liz 
Looks like things are crazy on the road. She didn’t even say bye to HJ - based on what I have seen he won’t be happy 
Elizabeth knew! She knew Mary was preggo 
Hey it’s Mikael’s mom from The Promise! 
The wise men are still at it! Those rascals. 
Mary’s asking the tough questions.
Baby Jesus is moving - Liz, you don’t even know
HOT JOSEPH IS MAD!! HE IS POUNDING THAT HAMMER. Oh shit he threw it down! Someone has a temper issue! 
“Melchior, I don’t wanna go on a road trip!!!”- the other two wisemen
Labor ?
Looks terrible! 
Well. That happened.
Hot Joseph is super awkward. You can tell he’s a total dork. But lovable. I love that curly hair too, ya know?
Uh oh Mary is headed home! 
Bad things happened on that road, too. what is it with these roads, man? They look like Game of Thrones stopped by.
Men in power. *yawn*
This one guy looks like a Jonas brother 
Wait you are tryin to tell me only 2 wisemen set out? 
Ah there’s he is “you forgot the map.” They bicker like golden girls !!
HJ is so happy!!! Mary is back!!!
His eyes are HUGE, he’s seein’ her belly omg
She walked right past him too, didn’t say anything. 
Joseph wanders off, stunned. Well...this marriage is going well
He’s crying! Wtf Mary! You could be a little nicer! You’re the one that agreed to carry the messiah all HJ wanted was a nice house with a sturdy ROOF.
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He chose her bc he thought she had great virtue! 
TEARY EYED HOT JOSEPH NOOOO
HE IS PROTECTING HER FROM TRIAL, no stones for Mary.
BUT HE AINT OK WITH IT YET 
His anger is intense! He’s walking...walking...some dude tries to hand him the biggest rock
Who are they stoning omg...wait a minute
He is dreaming !!!! There’s Gabe.
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He believes her!! Gabe told him in his dream to believe her.
Ugh I think hot Joseph doesn’t get enough credit. 
Bad men are coming. There’s a census. 
Nothing good happens when people start taking notes. Especially the government.
HJ has to go to Bethlehem, the land of his ancestors.
Boy she hit the jackpot, didn’t she, with him. He’s like Sure I’ll walk the whole way and lead this donkey and not eat.
HJ just made a  funny! They are passing all the dbags who whisper about them all the time and he goes, “they are going to miss us.” 😂
HJ is gutting a fish and speaking softly. He wonders if he can teach Jesus anything...awww...hammering stuff probably
They got stopped and got searched cuz of paranoid king nutbag.
Some fortune teller just mentioned the kid wasn’t his, ouch. The look he gave her. 
Are they sacrificing the cow? “Pass your sins to the animal.” Really?
Omfg the animal isn’t receiving your sins you coward. You still have them because you’re evil. I hate them.
Poor donkey I mean... everything has it rough. But this donkey has seen some things.
HJ gave a giant piece of bread to the missus and took only a nibble for himself. 
He fed the donkey his share. Awwww he’s petting it and talking to it. “I’m the hungry one,” he says. You cheeky little carpenter.
OH NO THE DONKEY SAW A SNAKE AND KNOCKED MARY OFF INTO THE WATER!
HJ saves the day! 
He is doing so well but he’s exhausted. She is gonna wash his feet while she talks to herself and the baby about how pure Joseph is.
(PS - oscar sleeping is adorable sidenote red alert)
For HOT AIR, HJ’s curly hair is on point!
Ahhhh Jerusalem. “It was meant to be a holy city.”
Some dude grabs their coin purse. No, literally.
“What belongs to us, stays with us.” Don’t try to rob them. 
Now to Bethlehem. 
“What was your gift?” Mary asks the shepherd. “Nothing,” he replies.
I feel, shepherd.
She is in labor ohhhhhhh joseph it’s go time!
THERES THAT SHINY STAR
IT WAS JUST THREE THINGS ALIGNING I GUESS
HJ IS DELIVERING THIS KID. HES IN IT TO WIN IT
MAD LAUGHTER - Joseph is at a breaking point 
NAKED BABY BUTT cover it UP
OMG HJ HOLDING A BABY ughhhhhhhhhh it’s too much
HOT JOSEPH LOOKS SO VULNERABLE 
THE WISEMEN COMETH
it’s linus’ speech! 
HJ is too much. I stomped to this movie expecting to laugh a lot at bad filmmaking but dammit oscar  I wasn’t expecting this I wasn’t EXPECTING TO CARE ABOUT JOSEPH THIS MUCH I’M ROOTING FOR HIM (more than mary????? lol)
here COMES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
mary’s face thru much of this film has been fairly stony. Is she even present in the moment? haha
HJ cannot believe their gifts -  the gold is his fav but he’s feeling the myrrh too.
The wisecracking wise man is in shock. He was sassy this whole time, too.
Ya know, at least Mary didn’t have to be a single mom.
The wisemen are keeping the secret. Probably for the best, dudes. You heard the crazy people. 
Man I forgot what psychos these people were (are???!!!!!) over power
HJ getting the heck out of there just in time. He has to have SO MANY BLISTERS.
They are fleeing to Egypt
Apparently I didn’t pay attention in CCD, and also that poor donkey. I havent seen any of them eat in days.
Man kudos to oscar for ALL OF THE ENDLESS WALKING 
And it’s over.
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 Thank you Hot Joseph. 
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irefusethemark ¡ 4 years ago
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Slavery
I may not be jewish, but my people have also suffered as slaves for almost 500 years. And it shows - the people grumble that they don’t like their living situation, yet do nothing about it. People kiss ass instead of kicking it. One our neighbors is known for standing up for their wants or needs, the people go on strikes, they block borders and make it hard for their governors until they cave in and give them what they want. We, however have the slave mindset, and it just won’t leave. It really is a miracle that we managed to free ourselves and that we received outside help at all. Throughout the centuries of oppression there was a minority of bravehearts, of course, and there is one even now, but it’s still a minority. And the portion of them that are believers is even a tinier minority. Believers are called not to be cowards, but rather strong and steadfast. For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. 
The word submit is interesting, because it shows you can be conquered again after you’ve been freed. Allowing it is the key - if you put your foot down, say “Over my dead body” and act, you will protect what you were given. Some countries have fallen to enemies numerous times throughout history, and while today an invasion against someone could only act as a catalyst for a worldwide war, slavery and trafficking is flourishing as a multi billion dollar industry. Whole nations and institutions are subject to power hungry psychopaths who want to have every last penny in the world, because people allow it! The elites dispose of every threat against them in order to stay in power, but I’m pretty sure there’d be a worldwide riot if people actually knew and cared about what’s really happening behind the scenes. It’s 1% against 99% - 98% don’t care.
But men can be slaves to things other than fellow people - one can be a slave to evil, selfishness, addictions, habits, fear, gluttony, music, all kinds of sins. 
Believers are called not to be silent when evil is running wild, we’re commanded not to “deal with it”, and I don’t mean “Hey, let’s take down the government!” although I’d love that. The followers of Christ are to serve Him alone, and not fear or unrighteousness. Standing firm means not backing down when things get tough. Only God knows how many of our people were killed or kidnapped throughout the ages of slavery, but we don’t remember them the brightest - when we think about that part of our history, the first people that come to mind are those who actually stood up to the enslavers and did something about them! It’s not like the kidnappings, murders, thefts and destruction are unimportant or not horrible. But those who wanted their freedom back so much that they were ready to die were the catalyst for change! 
In like manner, many of those who truly serve God will lose their lives before He returns. We won’t fight with guns, but with righteousness - and the world will hate it. God is worth dying for though - and those who know that are not afraid to stand up for Him and for what’s right. Freedom found in God is perfect and complete - and once you’ve had a taste, you’ll hold onto that for dear life. If believers lose the earthly life, they know that there’s another one that God will give as promised. And there’s power in that. Freedom is precious to most, but soon that will be taken away from everyone (who allow it to happen).
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.
But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience,
Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.
Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.
But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.
But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.
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gold-tcm ¡ 7 years ago
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TRIALS:When the Serpents tempted Jesus to turn the stone to Bread
Hi guys this is Tajma Cameron TajMA'sLeionBrada it's 2017 and I am about the "New Year...New You"
Let's examine the pains of last year, release, renew and revitalize
Purge What's going on inside of you so you can emerge with your external beauty matching your internal renewal and allowing that to  create the external world around you. ~~~~~~~\~~~\\\~~~\~~~~~~ TRIALS: When the Serpents tempted Jesus to turn the stone to Bread
This is very famous scripture about Jesus coming out of his forty day fast and then the serpent confronts him with three tests
 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” 4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’[b]”
Now this is something that I have been dealing with in my own life. Now I have recently been on a fast and in the midst of the fast I have come to the realization. I have a REAL problem with snacking and Midnight snacking if you remember my article from over a month ago about comfort food I thought I had a issue with it but I realized how bad it was when I started to notice I was eating junk food Al the time.
Now under most circumstances I can walk away from it but the enemy test you subtly and without warning it’s as casual as a stroll.
Come on it’s popcorn it’s a healthy snack it’s not potato chips or cookie Oh it’s Characters at least t’s not chocolate chip cookies Oh it’s Cheetos you haven’t had those in a while it won’t harm you
And then you find yourself doing it every night, your excuse is your still hungry after dinner… you fasted all day you have the right to do that… or my favorite, I’m near my period Let me LIVE. (you know them period craving ain’t no joke) and your body is sneaky you say …I refuse to eat French fries so the body thinks “I’ll make her eat potato chips” You say “No” “I’ll make her eat has browns” You say “No” I’ll make her eat “chicken noodle Potato soup” You say “I’ll make the chicken noodle but no chicken no potato” It’s says what can I do… AHH there is some mashed potato in the cabinet, get her to season them up right” You say “hey I haven’t had those mash potato’s in months” “GOTCHA”
Then you eat mash potato’s with your dinner for a week and you feel horrible because you gave into it.
Same thing happens with bread, you don’t think about the fact that you eat bread as
Toast Sandwich Donuts & honey Buns Muffins Pancakes and waffles Dinner rolls Cornbread cake
All breads  and I’m sure a lot of us eat one of those with every meal if not two, this is how our brain tricks us
And if your trying to cut out starch you might as well wave a white flag because EVERYTHING has starch or some form of sugars. I know because I fasted off sugar for 3 days several times and tasted sugar on PEANUTS. 
And then the classic case of don’t have it but have all the ingredients to make it… that why that scripture is so meaningful. If you can cook and you are fasting or trying to discipline yourself off of something and you KNOW how to make that thing your mind tell you “just make it”
Turning the stone to bread = turning the ingredients to what your craving   
Man shall not live on bread alone = the things your craving are likely, Bread or some sort of sugar.
But do we think about that No, most people think as fornication as a sin but what about what we are putting in our mouth remember Gluttony is a sin before god two and it’s one of the dealing ones and it runs RAMPID in the earth with the worlds Obesity problem, the walk of a Christian is different than  the rest of the world… we have to do what god is telling us to do in order to sustain our bodies
Eating right exercising, not giving into every craving that you have when you know that it’s bad for you even though you ALWAYS use to do it, but does that sustain your regimen because if it’s not good for you, you shouldn’t be doing it.
Best way to tell if something is bad for you is if you reject doing it and you notice your flesh rising up against it, the more you try to resist it the harder it tries to make you hungry and crave that thing like if you don’t eat it you’ll die. Then you gotta just let it go.
Can you never eat these things… yes you can, you just have to train yourself to be disciple in the way you eat them. If you eat popcorn, eat one serving size once every two weeks. If you like hot chocolate you drink one cup once in a great while I haven’t had any hot chocolate in two months or more so I believe it’s safe for me to drink 1 cup if I don’t drink any more for a month or two. Eating eggs jelly with bread once a month or 6 weeks. But, not allowing yourself to eat that stuff daily, treat yourself but know your limits.
Same with meat, I love chicken but I know what it does to my system when I eat it if I eat it for one meal then I can be okay I can manage it but if I eat it for the next 15 meals I have a problem. You have to put yourself on a strict diet and some times that is hard because we are trained to have routine, even those that have pre-package dinners they give you a seven day week of food and every meal is the same thing all week unless you’re on weight watchers or something
We are trained to be in a routine and we need to be truly careful about how we dealing with our bodies and what we are putting in them breaking bad habits. Because sometimes you can get rid of all the unhealthy snakes and replace all of it with vegan but if you are still eating it like a glutton is that good for you.
So are you letting your fleshly serpent control your spirit Man?   
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