#jesus christ part or me wonders if they act like this in real life but let's be real they absolutely do

[laurelwinchester]

yeah the people in the supernatural fandom are way too comfortable talking about people's bodies and physical appearances. (most of the time people they don't even fucking know.) it's extremely inappropriate and it's totally wild that they either don't seem to be able to understand this or just refuse to accept it. not to mention the fucked up and bizarre responses they often have to being called out.

i don't know if this is the weird entitlement spn fans have (for whatever reason????) or just a side effect of being terminally online but someone needs to teach these people the lesson they apparently missed back in kindergarten, which is that we do not comment on or touch other people's bodies without their consent.

and no it's not actually okay to make people uncomfortable (and then laugh about it) because you seem to believe you somehow own their bodies. that's disturbing and you're fucked up. you're a fucked up human.

[oatmealdoodles]

Apology tour spoilers

I kept putting this off because I pretty much agree with everybody else's takes on this, but I just want to get my opinions out anyways

So right off the bat we get THIS line from Blitzo

wow, gee, i wonder how that must feel like. Oh how i wonder

Anyways Stolas goes on directly to say that he doesn’t want to talk to Blitzo right know.

And you know what, thats vaid. All Stolas is saying in this entire interaction is “It’s too soon and i still mad at you, leave.” And i’m sorry but thats not an unreasonable request, especially after a fight that big. I was actually really impressed with how Stolas voiced his feelings thorough the entire confrontation: “I don't want to do words with you, so how about you respect that” “Seeing you right know is hard” “I don’t want to feel worse than I already do” “Im uncomfortable with how you’re speaking to me” This is textbook definition of healthy language.

And Blitzo for some reason just can’t respect that. Because he’s so dead set on getting things back to the status quo, what’s comfortable and familiar to him: this transactional relationship with no feelings, that he ignore Stolas’s requests blindly.

I saw someone claim that the show was trying to make it seem like Blitzo likes Stolas’s abuse, and I don’t think that’s what’s happening at all. Blitzo loves Stolas, that much is clear. But that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. And sometimes going back to an unhealthy relationship can feel better than without it, because that’s what’s familiar, what’s comfortable. Even if it’s not good for you. Especially for Blitz who already has so many abandonment insecurities. This actually happens a lot in real life and Im glad that HB decided to explore it.

But Stolas doesn’t get off the hook that easily

My dude, WHAT? Listen, Stolas, you are my favorite part of this episode. Nay, this show. But JESUS CHRIST WOULD EVEN AN OUNCE OF SELF AWARENESS KILL YOU???? “Impish little plaything,” “itty itty imp,” “you are so cute when you are serious,” “Blitzy,” none of that ringing a bell? SERIOUSLY??

Ok in all seriousness I think this line really emphasizes that Stolas is completely ignorant to the very prevalent power dynamic between them. He has no idea that all these actions and things he says to Blitzo hurt him. And that doesn’t makes it ok. Listen, Stolas has demonstrated that he’s willing to put in the work to improving himself. Just now I mentioned how his language changed to be more constructive and effective. The Stolas from the pilot and the Stolas in the last few episode are drastically different people. What Stolas needs is his own call-out episode, someone to give him a slap in the face and say “What you did is F’ed up” and for him to APOLOGIZE to Blitzo.

Also my man ate up this entire exchange

I have a bit less to say about the Striker stuff, I honestly don't think t was too relavent to the conversation, it’s just more well-written angst with fantastic animation and expressions. And seeing Blitzo slowly realize he screwed up was great too.

Unrelated but this probably to the biggest laugh out of me this episode

Brandon Rogers and Bryce Pinkham continue to be the best voice acting pair I’ve seen in a long time

and guys we FINALLY got Blitzo airing out his feelings to Stolas, completely dumping everything on the table. And then he just backpedals so violently because he’s scared of letting people see his true self, in fear they might hurt him. Also Stolas’s face be like “that escalated quickly…”

To be honest i could go on and on about all the little charachter detains and mannerisms, the animation, and how BEAUTIFUL the colors are. I want to talk about the section at the party, but this is already long enough. I might make a part two if i find the time, but those were just my thoughts

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch! This isn’t exactly a sex Ed question but it is related to sex. I’m aro/ace, and I’ve noticed that a lot of other aro/aces say that allos see friendship as a stepping stone to sex or romance, and less important than romantic relationships. I guess it makes sense, but my best friend irl is a gay boy (im a girl) and he obviously isn’t interested in dating an aro/ace girl. I made a post saying this and people in the notes were saying that he’s either secretly bi and lying to make me feel safe, or I’m an egg. I don’t believe either of those things but it got me wondering, is it common for allos to use friendship as a way to get close to people for the purpose of dating or having sex with them? Personally I’ve never experienced that but enough aro/aces are saying it that I have to wonder

hi anon,

okay so we need to start with the part about your best friend, because it's really important to me that we take a minute to recognize anyone trying to convince you that a gay boy is only hanging out with you because he has secret romantic feelings is being a homophobe. I mean, listen, it's annoying and childish when people act like men and women can't be friends in general, okay? but in this case they're not just being heteronormative, they're being actively homophobic. block anyone who said that. jesus christ.

secondly: I don't know if you've ever, like, spent time with people, but yes, many folks find romantic partners amongst their circles of friends because that's who they spend a lot of time with and build meaningful connections with, which can develop into feelings of sexual or romantic attraction for people who experience those things. I'd say it's less often a a case of anyone "using" friendship as a means to an end and more often a case of people realizing that a friendship is taking an exciting new direction and deciding to pursue those feelings.

there's a long-lasting trope, especially prominent it sitcoms and romcoms, of someone (usually a sleezy man) acting friendly to get close to someone else (usually a woman) with the intent of seducing them, but a.) like most works of fiction, that's much less common in real life, and b.) there's a huge difference between lying to someone intentionally and just developing a crush on someone you already know and like, which I think is the MUCH more common scenario.

like, don't get me wrong here, it's absolutely true that we live in a society(TM) that pretty materially privileges romantic relationships - specifically monogamous, legally-binding relationships - over other types of relations, and that's a fucking doozy. that's a thing to work on, for sure. but it's also not weird or creepy that some people couple up with their buddies.

[cringe-but-proud]

I just watched Bullet Train recently and I’m in love. I was wondering if you’re able to write a Lemon x fem!reader where basically Reader is one of those assassins coming on the train (like the wolf and the hornet) while going under the name The spider. But instead of reader trying to kill Ladybug and the twins. The reader is trying to stop them from killing each other but it’s just Reader and lemon bumping into each other a lot and having love at first sight 🤭 and every moment then keep bumping into each other, they just keep falling for the other.

OH MY GOD. I WANT HIM SO BAD...

Lemon x Fem!reader (Bullet Train)

A/n: This one's kind of long as hell, I can't lie. My requests are open (see pinned post for info)

WARNINGS: Cursing. That's it, I think 😛

Why do you always get jobs like this? Jobs where there's some big, fucked up scheme going on, and you have to unfuck the whole thing. You're used to it, but it never gets less annoying.

Whatever. The sooner you get the job done, the sooner you get off this god-damned train.

You entered the train and walked from compartment to compartment, looking for one of your guys. Finally, you walked into a cart where you were immediately greeted by the sound of two British men arguing.

The twins.

You slowed down the pace of your steps as you walked by and tried to subtly look over at them. But, when looking over, you found that one of them was already looking at you.

You should've looked away. But, you couldn't. You'd only ever seen him in pictures, you didn't think he'd be just as good looking in real life. Your eyes locked on to his and time seemed to slow down. You felt your heartbeat quicken and-

"Shit!" You tripped over your own feet after a man bumped into you, not bothering to apologize or even acknowledge the fact that he'd almost knocked you over. You managed to catch yourself, shooting a glare at the man who was already walking into the next compartment.

"Jesus Christ! Fucking asshole didn't even say sorry!"

"Are you alright, love?"

Fuck.

You looked back at the twins and froze up for a second. He was looking right at you. Is it cliche to feel like you could get lost in his eyes? Yes. Yes, it is.

"... I'm fine." You managed to speak before regaining your composure and quickly walking away.

Holy FUCK. That couldn't have been worse.

You were in the luggage compartment, trying to calm yourself down.

For the love of God, you're a grown woman who does illegal shit for a living, WHY are you acting like a middle school girl with a crush?!

While in the middle of scolding yourself, something caught your eye.

Silver briefcase. Train sticker on the handle.

You were surprised that you'd managed to find the thing almost immediately. After a brief check to make sure no one outside of the luggage compartment was watching, you grabbed the briefcase and stuffed it in your bag.

Great. Now all you had to do was stop three grown men from killing each other.

Great.

It had been hours now. Hours without getting off this train. You sort of felt like you were going crazy.

Things were already getting chaotic. The son of the white death was dead, which couldn't be good for the twins. And there was a dead body near the back of the train wearing a bloodied white suit. You didn't even know how that happened.

At least you still had the briefcase.

You were sitting in an empty part of the train, going over the current plan that you had in your head when you heard the doors slide open.

You glanced up and-

Fuck.

One of the twins. The hotter one.

You immediately whipped out your phone and pretended to be busy on it. You thought that if you were focused on something other than the man, he wouldn't acknowledge you. But, of course things couldn't be that simple.

"Excuse me, miss."

Inside your head, you screamed. But, on the outside you casually looked up from your phone.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen a bloke walking around with a sliver briefcase? Train sticker on the handle?"

You subconsciously brought your bag closer to yourself.

"He's got nerdy glasses, a stupid hat?" The man continued.

You tilted your head innocently. "A silver case?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think I've seen anything like that, sorry. Why do you ask?" This was your current plan: Keep him talking. The longer you kept him talking to you, the longer you'd be able to prevent a fight.

"Oh, uh..." The man trailed off. "He's with me. I've gotta grab something from the case, but he wandered off."

"Oh." You nodded. "I'll be sure to keep a look out. You said there's a train sticker on the handle?"

"Yup."

"Why's that?"

"Well, I put it there so that we'd be able to spot it."

"You just had a train sticker laying around?"

"I like trains." He shrugged.

Keep him talking. "Oh. I do too! My dad was a train conductor. So, I grew up going on a lot of train rides, I really wanted to be a train conductor too, so I learned about pretty much every kind of train you could think of," This was all untrue. You didn't like trains. Your dad was a dentist. But, again, you needed to keep him talking. Now you were just listing different train related topics and waiting for something to stick.

"I watched a lot of Thomas the tank engine-"

"Great show." He interjected.

There it is. "Oh, yeah. I was absolutely obsessed with it when I was little. Did you watch it too?"

"I still watch it."

"Oh?" You chuckled. "Um, yeah. That's-"

"I mean, because it's very nostalgic for me, a very comforting show. Plus, it's better than some shows they're putting out nowadays, y'know? It's got a lesson, it's got good characters, it's-"

He went on rambling. You noticed that he sounded... Nervous? Embarrassed?Flustered? Was he getting flustered while talking to you? Oh. Oh. This changes things.

"I think it's endearing." You said.

"What? Watching Thomas?"

"Yeah." You shrugged. This wasn't necessarily a lie. You did think the fact this man, who was supposed to be intimidating, watched and enjoyed a children's show was quite charming.

"That's... Thank you. I've never had anyone say that about.. You know, watching Thomas the tank engine."

"There's a first time for everything, right?" You smiled.

"Yeah, I suppose there is." He bit the inside of his cheek and averted his gaze away from you momentarily. "I should probably be going now, I've still gotta find my case and-"

He continued talking as you noticed the other guy. The guy the twins thought had killed the son and stolen their case. He seemed to be looking around the luggage compartment, probably for the case that was still stuffed into your bag. You couldn't let the man in front of you see him. Not if you wanted to prevent them fighting each other until they were both black and bruised.

"But, I did enjoy talking to you, so-"

You interrupted the man. "Hey, can I get your number or something?"

He was visibly surprised and was quiet for a second before nodding. "Yes. Yes, I can- I'll give that to you."

You handed him your phone and watched as he punched in his number.

If you were being honest, asking for his number definitely wasn't your last resort. You were actually glad you'd gotten the opportunity to ask, because this guy was very handsome and very charming.

He finished punching in his number. You glanced over to the luggage compartment and the other man was gone.

Thank God.

You looked back to him and smiled. "Thanks. I'll text you later." You promised.

He smiled, a smile you could tell was genuine, and nodded. "I'll look forward to that."

With that he walked away. You sighed in relief and relaxed into your seat. After a moment you looked down at your phone. He'd saved himself in your phone as a train emoji. You couldn't help but smile.

This whole thing was starting to feel less chaotic and-

IS THAT A FUCKING SNAKE?!

[theshoesofatiredman]

I'm revisiting a part of The High School Survival Guide: Making the Most of the Best Time of Your Life (so far) by Adam Palmer. It's a Christian book despite the fact that the title makes it seem totally areligious, and I read parts of it when I was in high school. It was the first time I ever read about being gay in a book. I found a free version online and while I didn't think the Bible could shock me anymore my mouth dropped open at this:

Apparently the MSG version of this passage really says the quiet part out loud. Gay people aren't even human / lose the knowledge of how to be human. Not sure how that works. There's such a dissonance between the tone of this verse and the tone of the text in the book too.

GEE I WONDER WHY??? How strange that Christians, who believe their sacred text claims that homosexual acts strip people of God, love, and their humanity, view homosexuality as 'icky' and 'gross.' In fact, I would think they'd think much worse in that scenario and treat gay people far worse. In fact, it kinda seems like you're downplaying the absolutely brutal treatment and systemic discrimination of gay people that was carried out in the name of Jesus.

And all of this is being aimed at (presumably Christian) teenagers who think they might be gay. There's no real advice here other than to surrender to god and to seek accountability.

I was keenly aware as a gay Christian that I was at the center of a culture war I did not want to be a part of. People out beyond my religious community were fighting for an acceptance and celebration of homosexuality that I thought was harmful and sinful. People inside my religious community had all kinds of incorrect ideas about gay people and I didn't think there was much space for me to be "out of the closet" even if I stayed single, celibate, and god-fearing. And I had no idea what to do about any of it.

I didn't come out to anyone until after high school. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed, and the weight was still heavy. God did not make it easier, did not lift the burden of homosexuality from me. I had plenty of accountability in my life, constantly watched by helicopter parents with Internet filters, confessing sin regularly in men's groups (both before and after I started to tell people I 'struggled with same-sex attraction). 'Accountability' only served to intensify my shame.

The only time things got easier was when I started to take God out of the equation, when I started to see my sexuality as a part of myself to embrace rather than excise. Christians will drone on and on about how Christ sets people free from their sins. In my experience, to be free of my sin I had to first be free of Christ.

[szagaloree]

His wife….

Chapter 3

Contains: fluff/angst/mentions of death/ ptsd

I stirred in my sleep from a bad nightmare, whimpering in my sleep spider slowly stirred waking up, I lean up shouting as spider jump from being frightened, “mom? Mom hey it’s okay,” he stood up, I gasp trying to catch my breath “it’s okay you’re fine, it was just a bad dream,” he says, “more like a nightmare,” I huff putting my head in my hands, “what was it about?” He asks “some really deep stuff, it’s scary to almost forget you were in the military till your ptsd comes back and bites you in the ass,” I said.

I sighed laying back down, “what do you think our life could be outside of this? Why don’t we just go and be with Jake and the rest?” He asks “the rest?” I raise a brow “Jake a family, they all live in the forest,” he said, “wow I’d sing even know that, that’s crazy,” I cocks a brow, “I don’t know, I can’t just leave they would be hunting us too, we just gotta figure out how we’re gonna get out of here,” I said.

Next day carries on and I was doing some combat training with Raven, spider sat down watching as I tumble Raven down wrapping my legs around her neck, Quaritch walked in wide eyed, “what are you doing kid?” Quaritch asks spider “just watching,” he said, “Jesus Christ you didn’t have to put me down like that,” I laughed pushing her, “you cheated,” Raven said “I didn’t cheat I just beat your ass,” I said, as we tackle again I wrap my ankle over her and push her down. “Aye aye not you tryna jump me,” I laughed as Allen lifts me up, “I wonder if my mom remembers everything, all of her past,” spider says, “probably it depends on what triggers it,” Quaritch says as he watched me.

I went to grab my bow that I got made for me, “when did you get that?” Ellice asks, “earlier, you know had to get my baby back,” I smirked grabbing an arrow, I place it correctly pulling back on the string. I shoot at the target wall almost making a bullseye “traaash!” Raven yells out “hey I almost made a bullseye and it’s been literally years since I’ve used a bow,” I shake my head, I look to my left to check on spider and see him talking to Quaritch but Quaritch was staring at me, his unconsciously glued to mine. I try to look away but my eyes seem to not look back but it got cut short when Raven pushes me, “move you jerk,” I push her back smirking.

…

As I leave spider’s room I head towards mine till I heard a certain somebody call “Corporal” I stopped, Quaritch was leaning on the wall almost as seemingly on purpose. He stares at me, “what?” I said nonchalantly, “it’s awfully lot of things going around about you and they ain’t good,” he said, “you telling me this why?” I question, “I heard you were alongside them and sully, so let me guess.. they got a spy lurking around these parts,” he says leaning off the wall “I’m not know spy, I fight for myself,” I said “what about your son? You just found out that he’s yours and you didn’t even know,” he says, “don’t speak on him, you don’t know everything so stop trying to act like you do,” I said warning him, he cocks a brow “who’s the daddy? Wonder if he’s alive, he must’ve knocked you up for you to have a child on this planet,” he said, I glare at him and walked up to him.

“And you did a pretty good job at,” I said.

I walked away to leave him in his thoughts as he was frozen by what I said he couldn’t tell if I was just making a remark or was I being for real, I walked down the hall sighing, but I realize what I just done I may have exposed him to being spider’s father and if he thinks about it to hard he’ll realize it. “Fuck!” I mumble in annoyance, I made my way close to the quarter but was pulled into a dark room, I tried to pry myself off and fight whoever it was but he had my arms pinned as he shuts the door, I was going to shout but he covered my mouth the lights turn on and it was Quaritch “tell me you’re lying! Tell me I was mistaken by what the hell you said!” He said almost has he wants to me to but knows he wants the answers out, his heart raced anxious and worry but also fear.

“Tell me that kid isn’t mine! Is it?!” I stood quiet as tears falling my face, “you better tell me right now,” he said his jaw clenching tightly, “spider’s your son,” I admitted his grip loosens, his whole heart flipped upside down, “there’s no way…no..I cannot be,” he freaks out “he is.. your son,” I said “when we’re you pregnant?” He asks “before I even died and before you sit up there destroy their hometree and the tree of voices just to piss then off,” I said, “I don’t think you deserve to know everything, after everything you have done,” I said shaking my head, I got to walk but he grabs my wrist “n-no, I need to know!” He says, I sighed I go to the screen and look for my files, “its obvious they wiped some of you memories because of they didn’t you would remember everything,” I said, I pull up my log from the time I was 6 months pregnant, Quaritch stood walking close to the screen.

“Well, here’s a baby bump update, the progress is going good,” I smiled showing my belly off, “I can’t wait to know the gender in fact we just got it today and if this asshole is here, he can read it,” I said looking to look for him “can you look for mikes please?” I asked they nodded, “yesss?” He answers “sit down I told you we were supposed to find out the gender of the baby” I said looking up “oh yea yea yea” he pulls a chair over.

Quaritch eyes widen watching the video in disbelief.

“You read it,” I give him the paper, “I don’t think I’m ready, I’m hoping for a girl,” he says, “now your thoughts is on a girl you said boy,” I chuckled “I don’t know,” he chuckles as he reads, “okay… so it’s a boy!” I squealed excitedly, “ayyyyee, I can teach him some good ole Basketball,” Quaritch smirks, “I’m so happy,” I smiled as Quaritch smiled proudly before pulling me in a kiss.

Once the video ends, “wha-ho-I-oh my god” he felt so lightheaded after watching that video but that wasn’t the only one he needed to see.

“I am Gwen.. Stefani Quaritch,” I said, “I would say I’m surprised to even be here but I guess this is what my job turned into, being on Pandora to be the scientists bodyguards or whatever,” I sighed.

“I was your wife,” I said, he looks at me, “no.. I don’t remember having a wife,” he said “of course you don’t,” I said “but don’t believe me, look at the back of right ear, there will be a infinity tattoo, We both got it after we gotta married I have on my left ear see,” I pull my ear forward to show him, he looks for a mirror or something to try and see. There it was the infinity tattoo, he gulped, “when I was pregnant with spider, I was happy, finally like I could leave and pull away from this rda bullshit! To be free! And I thought you would too, but that was cut short when I died,” I said with tears. He walks up to me “h-how did you die?” He asks.

“I died giving birth to spider… I died giving life,” I said.

His eyes widen, “and you were going to this stupid selfish war against these people and I died alone! Alone miles!” I shoved him, “mom” I gasp looking to see spider, “spider what are you doing up?” I ask, “couldn’t sleep, what’s going on?” He asks looking at us, “n-nothing everything is fine,” I huff wiping my eyes “go back to bed please,” I said, he sighed listening and starts to leave “ I would’ve never left if I knew you were giving birth,” he said “lies! You would’ve still went to war after he came, you don’t care! You were to busy trying to reck havoc to these poor people who want to be alone! We could’ve lived a good live away from this shit miles!” I cried, “I wanted you to change to finally open your eyes stop being stuck on being a marine! This isn’t safe of a child,” I argued, he sighed, “this is all that I know,” he says “being a puppet is all that you know huh? Really? Wow” I shake my head disappointed, “this is all that you think you know! If you are not going to step up and be a damn man to face your demons then you need to stay the hell away from him, you’re not going to turn my son into a heartless killer,” I said leaving him in raining of thoughts, his ears goes down. He didn’t know what to do, now that he knows the truth what is he going to do, change or stay the same?

To be continued…

[mooifyourecows]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Sure! (given in no particular order)

1. Daichi from Haikyuu, of course.. I just love everything about him. He's a great captain and he has a big appetite and he's so down to earth and masculine in the best ways, what a man!!! I want a tattoo of him on my body!

2. Pam Poovey from Archer. It's hard to stand out in a show where nearly every character is the single most interesting person in the world but I really do think that Pam takes the cake. She's a real one. She stays true to herself no matter how much everyone else begs her to stop and I RESPECT THAT. Also she's a fat character who isn't limited to being the Fat Character. While her weight does come up, often in insulting jokes or bits, she has so much else to her that it feels like such a small part of her character.

3. Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman. Out of all the insanely good character arcs in Bojack Horseman, Princess Carolyn's is my favorite. Usually the hardworking career woman character who wants a baby winds up the most disappointing character for me because she always gives up her career to be a mom but NOT MY GIRL PRINCESS CAROLYN. She said I want to be a badass boss lady AND a mom and I don't need no man to get what I want! And she did that shit. She deserves it.

4. Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers. I aspire to be like Linda. She's fun, she's extroverted, she is just so excited to live her modest life with a struggling burger business, a husband she actually enjoys spending time with, and 3 kids she adores with every fiber of her being. She sings and dances at any given opportunity and doesnt let embarrassment faze her. What an icon.

5. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Every time I think of him I wanna cry. He's just so.... perfect.... and wonderful.... He is the sweetest, bravest man to ever exist and NOBODY CAN ARGUE. The original Ride or Die. We all need a Samwise Gamgee in our lives. 🖤

6. Usopp from One Piece. That's my boy! He's so funny and relatable. I love characters who are brave while being terrified. Despite his wacky goofy personality, he's complex and insecure but he stands by his guns and isn't afraid to challenge even his best friend/captain to defend what he believes and GOSH what a stand up guy ammiright?

7. Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place. I love a disaster of a woman. She's a selfish bisexual with zero shame, what's more to love? I just can't help it. I'm weak for women who are just The Worst ™️.

8. Manny from Swiss Army Man. I mean... He's dead, he teaches us what it means to be alive, and he's played by Daniel Radcliffe. He's basically the perfect character, right? Listen, Swiss Army Man is my all time favorite movie and I want everyone else to like it too. I can't even talk much on it because it's so much better when you watch it yourself. Especially if you love amazing soundtracks, beautiful visuals, and queer revelations.

9. Hal from Malcolm in the Middle. I'm such a sucker for husbands who are obsessed with their wives and men in touch with their emotions and Hal is the epitome of both those things! I watched this show while growing up and I truly think that Bryan Cranston's portrayal of Hal taught me how men are supposed to act, especially in regards to their romantic partners. And now my own partner is basically a less theatrical version of him so it paid off ya know?

10. Judas Iscariot from Jesus Christ Superstar (1973). This is mainly based on performance. Carl Anderson did such an AMAZING job playing Judas that he literally stole the show, imo. Jesus who? You mean Judas's boyfriend? It's not JUST his performance though, the way the character is written is so well done that I feel like Judas is the real main character. Yeah, this is the story about Jesus but he ain't the star, ya dig? He's a basic bitch in comparison to the complexity and emotional turmoil of Judas. Also they're gay and in love, what a tragedy! This is cinema!

[perpetualspiritualconfusion]

@princessofthemosthigh

You made a public blog. It's not private. You made it public, so anyone can see and comment. You're not special enough to be immune to commentary and criticism. I can comment on anything and on anyone I want. And so can you! Freedom of speech is wonderful, isn't it?

Maybe we could have had a normal conversation, but you decided that you're too good to have criticism on your posts about how "oppressed" you are (likely in a country dominated by Christian religion and culture) and blocked any comments and reblogs.

You might call yourself God's princess, but unfortunately, I'm God's argumentative b*tch, and They gave me a little too much attitude, so if I see something that is morally reprehensible, such as being homophobic, transphobic, or using Christian privilege to argue that you're oppressed and people only mock Christians, I'm going to say something about it.

Appropriating language from marginalized communities by creating a (not real) problem of "Christianphobia" is, frankly, disgusting and I'm going to call it out. Christians in the West are some of the most privileged and catered to group of people out there. Unless you live in the Middle East, North Korea, or somewhere else that has actual legislation against Christianity, you're not being oppressed. If anything you're being spoiled. And I'm going to call it out. Being Christian does not exclude you from criticism, which there is a lot to criticize about our faith.

Do not ever be presumptuous about my spiritual life. My confusion has nothing to do with you, and it's between me and God where and what my confusion is. For all you know, my confusion could be if I count as Catholic or Protestant, because I have a little bit of both. Do not presume to know my conversations with God and what I'm confused about.

"God bless you" and "praying for your delusion" is such as sick perversion of what prayer is supposed to be. I'm from the South. I know what backhanded compliments look and the subterfuge of "bless your heart." When you don't mean it, it's disgusting. It's not compassionate or caring, and definitely not Christ-like. The only delusion I had was thinking you could take criticism.

I believe that homophobia in Christianity stems less from what is written in the bible and more to do with the homophobic and patriarchal culture of pre-Christian Rome. Scriptures that discuss or elude to homosexuality were written at a time when ancient peoples were anxious about family lines and distribution of property through families. We no longer live in that kind of culture and should not be treating the LGBTQ+ community, of which I am a part of, with the indignity, lack of compassion, and hate that Christians often give us. I'm Christian, I'm gay, and I'm certain that God is okay with that. To call it a "delusion", is so disrespectful and the opposite of what Jesus would want. #sorry not sorry.

I say humble yourself because you call yourself oppressed when you are not. If you knew me, you would probably figure out that I am God's little jester. I am fool. I get angry. I'm argumentative and long-winded. I talk back to God like a petulant child. I wouldn't say I'm "humbled," but I would say that I frequently and sincerely think about that I am less than worthy to have God's love and compassion. I am not a good example of Christian behavior. I swear, I drink, I start arguments. But at least I know who I am. I'm not nearly as presumptuous or spoiled enough to think that I'm oppressed because of my religion. That's why I said to humble yourself because you're acting like the government banned the Christian bible or rounding up Christians to put in camps. So, once more with feeling, humble yourself. You're not oppressed. You just want to be catered to.

"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow.

For whosoever will save his life, shall lose it; for he that shall lose his life, for my sake, shall save it.

For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, and cast away himself?

For he that shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him the Son of man shall be ashamed when he shall come in his majesty, and that of his Father, and of the holy angels." Luke 9:23-26

"And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words; going forth out of the house or city shake off the dust from your feet." Matthew 10:14

I will no longer respond to you after this.

[aurorawest]

Reading update, part 2

The Perplexing Theft of the Jewel in the Crown by Vaseem Khan - 4/5 stars

All the Way Happy by Kit Coltrane - DNF

Couldn't get past the fact that it was blatantly Drarry fanfiction that had had the serial numbers filed off. It was seriously distracting. I don't have an issue with fic authors doing that (I'M ONE OF THEM), but this read like a find and replace had been done on the names, and nothing else had been changed. If the prose hadn't been so overwrought I might have enjoyed it, but the combination of Drarry AU + purple prose was just too cringey for me.

Total Creative Control by Joanna Chambers and Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

Ahhhhh I loved this book. I've only read Chambers's historical fiction so I was curious what this would be like, and it was so good. So so good.

Also, sometimes my wife says stuff and I'm like 'that's not a real thing that English people say, that's probably some weird thing her family says.' But then I'll read it in a book by an English person and I am schooled. Anyway that happened several times in this book.

The Name Bearer by Natalia Hernandez - DNF

I don't mind a slow-paced book but there was just so much info dumping in the first chapter, when chapter 2 started with more info dumping, I gave up.

Crossroads by Riley Hart - DNF

This book started with a description of the main character's apartment. There wasn't anything special about it, nor was it described in a unique way. I DNFed halfway through page 2. I know I have another Riley Hart book sitting in my TBR, which I will be digging out bringing to my local bookstore's used book buyback.

Godkiller by Hannah Kaner - 4.5/5 stars

Did Not Expect to enjoy this one. I got this in an IllumiCrate and I just remember the little blurby thing you get where the author talks about the book saying something about how she loves angry women. I'm over it. Angry is not a personality! Stop writing women who are angry and thinking you've written a well-rounded character!

But actually this book was really good! Predictable, but a good read. Unusually, my favorite character was the child. It helped that she had an adorable hare/bird/deer god of white lies following her around.

Tommy Cabot Was Here by Cat Sebastian - 5/5 stars

I love Sebastian's regency romances but I might love this series more. This is a very, very quick read (right around 100 pages) but she's just so good at creating these wonderful, fully-realized characters that you love from the first sentence.

As You Walk on By by Julian Winters - 2/5 stars

So at this point I think I have to concede that Julian Winters is not the author for me. He's constantly lauded as this wonderful writer whose books will make you smile for days. This is the third one I've read and I nearly DNFed it. The only thing that kept me going, ironically, was that I really liked the love interest and was rooting for them to get together. Typically I find the romances in Julian Winters books to be very flat and un-swoony. This one was actually quite nice though.

But the main character. Jesus Christ. He's SO annoying. Him and his shitty BFF who he falls out with deserve each other, honestly. There's only so many times I can sympathize with you because you have a comfortable, middle-class life and you go to a fancy pants private school, but waaaaah sometimes your friends don't say exactly the right thing about you being queer. Also having your MC tell the teenage girl who gets slut-shamed, gossiped about, and sexually harassed everywhere she goes that actually she doesn't have it as bad because she's white was...an interesting touch.

And idk if the Youth actually act and talk the way the teenagers do in this book, but if they do, I'm very glad I don't know any teenagers.

Why did I rate this book 2 stars instead of 1? Oh! I really liked Luca. He deserved a better book. And I liked River a lot, too. And the fact that this was clearly a take on The Breakfast Club was fun, just...not executed as well as I would have liked.

Part 1

[gatekeeper-watchman]

Daily Devotionals for December 14, 2023

Proverbs: God's Wisdom for the Day Devotional Scripture:

Proverbs 30:18-19 (KJV): 18 There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: 19 The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship amid the sea; and the way of a man with a maid. Proverbs 30:18-19 (AMP): 18 There are three things which are too wonderful for me, yes, four which I do not understand: 19 The way of an eagle in the air, the way of a serpent upon a rock, the way of a ship amid the sea, and the way of a man with a maid.

Thought for the Day

Verses 18-20 - These verses state that four things are very wonderful and yet mysterious: how an eagle flies; how a serpent slithers; how a ship sails; and how a man and woman are attracted to one another. Solomon respected these observations by Agur and included them in his book. We all wonder at times why things are the way they are. The only and final answer is that God created them to act this way. God's creation is truly amazing and we can learn many things by observing it.

Verse 19 - The Eagle: This bird mounts up on thermal air currents to soar at amazing heights. It must have puzzled the ancients to watch them ascend, barely flapping their wings. They are not afraid of storms, which create the best wind currents - they fly high above them. The eagle is a symbol of overcoming Christians who rise above life's storms by waiting upon the Lord. "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles..." (Isaiah 40:31). This is one of my favorite verses. I have claimed it many times when I have been so weary that I did not think I could not go on. The Lord has never failed to give me the strength that I need when I ask Him in faith to help me. This scripture states that those who "wait upon the Lord" shall renew their strength. What does it mean to "wait upon the Lord?" Certainly, the first application of this would be to wait upon the Lord's timing, and to wait for Him to show us what to do; however, there is also another application to the meaning. When we dine in a restaurant, a "waiter" comes to our table to serve us or "wait on us." When we are committed to serving God, then we are "waiting on Him;" therefore, we will be given the strength for the task He has given us to do. Even young men who do not know the Lord, will not have the strength that we are given when we obey Christ's commands.

The Serpent: A snake's bones, muscles, and plates on the skin of its belly enable it to move on land without limbs. From Genesis 3 we find that the serpent did not always slither, but was created to walk as a beast. After its part in tempting Adam and Eve to sin, God reduced it to crawling on its belly, eating dust (Genesis 3:14-15). The devil, called "the serpent," preys on men who were made of dust and crawl in the dirt of sin until they are "born again" and then the Lord causes them to rise spiritually and fly like eagles.

A Sailing Ship: The third thing that Agur mentions that amazed him is how a ship can sail in the ocean. There are physical laws that God set in motion on the earth that govern all things. These are verifiable scientific laws. In the case of a ship floating in the ocean, the laws that affect it are the law of gravity; the law of motion; the laws of nature; and the laws of the universe. Just looking at the size and weight of a boat (especially when we see warships constructed from megatons of steel) floating in liquid-like water, it looks impossible. However, when one understands the invisible laws that govern such a feat, then it becomes possible. In the Bible, we are asked to believe in spiritual things and things we cannot see; yet, we know they are real because we understand the law of faith and the law of life in Christ Jesus (Matthew 19:26).

A Man With A Maid: The fourth thing that was "too wonderful" for Agur was "the way of a man with a maid." The way a man and woman are attracted to one another and "fall in love" is a wonderful gift that God gave to men and women. Erotic and sexual love was designed by God, but it has limits and boundaries attached to it. It is to only be entered into within the bonds of matrimony. The devil has come against this husband-and-wife relationship by perverting it and causing men to indulge in it illegally. We find adulterers, fornicators, and homosexuals, (where men are sexually attracted to men, and women to women.) God is the one who sets the standard for a marriage relationship and when men start trying to redefine marriage, they are setting themselves up to take the place of God, which is idolatry. The beautiful relationship, of love and marriage, between a man and a woman, is a type of our relationship with Christ; and that is a very holy thing (Ephesians 5:23-27).

Prayer Devotional for the Day Dear heavenly Father, you are amazing! I stand in awe of Your great creation. Lord, your plans for mankind were good and perfect, and we have messed it up because of our sins. Forgive us, Lord, and use us and help us now to restore and correct those things the devil has used to destroy Your beautiful creation. Give us grace to pray and reach out to those around us with the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Change us to be like You, and use us to change this world and bring about the kingdom of God on the earth. I ask in the name of Jesus. Amen. From: Steven P. Miller@ParkermillerQ,  gatekeeperwatchman.org Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups, Wednesday, December 13, 2023, Jacksonville, Florida., USA.  X ... @ParkermillerQ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA

[laura-is-a-weirdo]

Ok, so. It's been a looooong time since I used this app to rant, but Helluva Boss is my comfort show at the moment (I know it's weird but it makes me feel things and it makes me happy) and reading so many things about the new ep and about the characters in general triggered me.

I begin by saying everyone can enjoy the show as they like and ship whatever they want to ship and in whichever way they want (yes, I will also talk about ships and I think you already know where I want to go with this), but there are few things I read that left me confused. Sometimes I wonder if some people and I are even watching the same show, seriously.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ok, first thing first, the whole Loona/Octavia thing.

Yes, I ship them, so if you want to call me "ped0phile" or "stupid" or "gross" go ahead, but I think the reasons people use to judge those who ship them are RIDICULOUS. First of all, reading the Wiki, Loona is 22 and Via is 17 and I know for some Americans this is such a sin, but where I live is totally normal for people with a 5/6 or even a 10 year gap to be together. Shipping them in a romantic way is not the same as shipping them in a sexual way. It would be the same if I say I ship Blitz and Stolas when they were kids and they met for the first time. Of course I don't ship them in a /sexual/ way as kids, I ship them because they are cute together and there's the whole "endgame" thing so they grow to be a couple, but Jesus Christ chill out guys. You can see whatever you want in their last interactions, but if I want to ship them I will ship them. Let people enjoy the show how they want without judging everyone and everything just because you don't like something.

Secondly, Via and Loona are NOT sisters. Even if Stolas and Blitz end up together, they wouldn't STILL be blood sisters. If you want to see their relationship as something sisterly-like it's perfectly fine, but if I want to believe that Via is going to have a crush on Loona I can do whatever I want. I read some bullshit about "sibling-coded", what the hell is that supposed to mean? They are not blood-related, so even if their dads will marry each other at the end, they still won't be related by blood so JUST STOP SAYING IT'S LIKE INCEST WTF

Another issue I have is about Loona herself. I don't get why people hate her just because of how she acts with Blitz. Of course I'd love to see them interacting in a more father-daughter way, but Loona being aggressive is totally in character for her, you get that she cares about Blitzø because of the way sometimes she looks at him and because of the speech she gives to Via. She cares about him but she was presented as very aggressive since the pilot and she is still young and probably still learning how to interact with people properly. She was abused, Blitz isn't perfect anyway, but she cares about him even if she doesn't show it. I know some people in real life who are like her and they're going through therapy to fix it, so it's not impossible that she acts that way and still be a well-written character. She can be your least favorite in the show, but don't say it's bad writing if she acts that way. You can't expect characters of a show that's placed in HELL to be all kind and cute, part of why I love Helluva is that the characters are REAL: they aren't perfect, they are little shits sometimes, sometimes toxic and they all have flaws, but besides that they try to establish relationships and stay together, work together and even love each other. You don't have to like everything that happens and everyone, but if you want to criticize something try to understand the difference between what is ACTUALLY shown and what are your personal preferences. Which leads to...

Stolas being a "massive piece of shit" and Stella being "one-dimensional". I'm sorry if you don't expect that a character can be bad just to be bad. Stella doesn't have to be bad because something happened to her, doesn't have to be bad because of some trauma and shit, she can be bad just to be bad. She can just be a bitch because that's how she is, she can be abusive just because she is that kind of person, it can also happen in the real world. There are people who are little shits just because, it's not that big of a deal. If you like her that's fine, but you should like her because she is a bitch and she is toxic, not because you hope there's something more. Maybe there WILL be more, but for now you should like her for what is shown, stop justifying her.

As for Stolas, why would he be a piece of shit? Just because after YEARS of abuse (Stella even speaks with Striker on the phone IN FRONT OF STOLAS about killing him), after YEARS of being punched, getting yelled at just because he existed, being ridiculed in front of everybody, while trying to be a good dad to Via because he loves her and just want her to have a normal life, just because he says to his daughter "your mother is being a bitch" one time... THAT'S why you call him a piece of shit? Before the divorce he had NEVER said anything bad about Stella to Via and this can be easily understood by the fact that Via both in Loo Loo Land and in the latest episode isn't fully aware of what Stolas did to keep her safe (and it's understandable since she is a teenager) and Stella has always treated Via like shit (just look at Stella's face in every picture they're in but also in every scene they have together, she's just mean to Stolas and doesn't even talk to her daughter) and now that Via is old enough to understand it on a certain level it's totally legit for Stolas to say that. Via has seen all her life Stella being a bitch with her father, I think that's also why she was so scared that Stolas might run away with Blitzø and leaving her. You can say you don't like Stolas, but he didn't live a shitty life because he couldn't be with who he wanted, he didn't have to endure years and years of abuse and yet found the strength to do his best to protect his daughter just for you to call him a "massive piece of shit". He did his best and of course he has flaws, of course he is not perfect, that's the whole point. People in real life are not perfect, they do things that hurt others without thinking, they try their best to go through whatever they have to go through and they make mistakes, it's part of life.

I didn't expect this rant to be this long but I care too much about Helluva to shut up, I just wanted to put on paper my thoughts because lately people made me feel like I was wrong and my ideas weren't valid enough and I hate that. Everyone should be able to do whatever they want as long as they are not hurting anybody and of course you can have different ideas, but discussing in a calm manner with valid arguments is better than just yelling at people and judging just because. It's a FAKE show with FAKE characters, just try to enjoy what we have and if you don't like you don't have to watch it.

[porkcutletbowl44]

So I will write this ask while reading chapter 16 because my mind is too smooth to do it afterwards.

frist of all, SINCE WHEN CAN YOU TWIST OPEN A BEER BOTTLE BABY GIRL BEER BOTTLES ARE NORMALLY CAPS ONLY THE CHEAP ONE IN PASTIC IS WITH A TWIST OPENING

damn my german ass came out for a sec. But i really think they would have proper beer. The shit in the plastic bottles is piss with the wrong label on it and I don't even like beer to begin with LOL But it seems they are into it which… damn kinda sad but I guess that's a german thing to see cheap beer as a crime 😭💀

God, I love the interactions with the boys sooo much! It's so funny and makes me miss my old friend group. well at least the good parts of it and that wasn't much to being with 🥴

microwaving cereal 😭😭😭 I'm laughing so hard right now omg I never was drunk in my 24 years of living so it always makes me the one who holds the hair or fight of the guys who think they could get a quick fun. No fun with me, I will ruin they're night for good haha Only got tipsy twice and the first time I kinda regret because I didn't register how much the one dude overstep the line with this one girl. Mind you I just met her at the party but she was so sweet. God I would have beaten the living shit out of him. Still hate him to this day and he is a close friend of my cousin which is like a sister to me. Damn sorry for the rant LOL

NO HE DOES NOT ACT LIKE THIS MY GOD THIS MAN MAKES ME SO MAD I never wanted to punch a character in a fic so much as I want to punch Simon. Wtf is he thinking? Mf was cheating, is engaged with another woman who makes our life way too hard and he thinks it's all fine and dandy to tell us that WE are selfish??????

Jesus fucking Christ, Keegan needs to punch the shit out Simon. Holy moly macaroni i'm so mad

"Rank ain't gonna save you from a broken nose."

OMG JUST DO IT! BEAT HIM OMG PLS

I don't get it. I DON'T HIM! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN

of course Keegan is a sweet boy like always. How he can hold back not to give us small kisses is beyond me but ok. Well maybe because I'm someone who gives affection to everyone that is close to me, be it friends or family.

YES MY FAVORITE DADDY IS FINALLY HERE! Was about time that Price is joining! God, he is so sweet. He always reminds me of a Berniece Mountain dog! Big, gentle, protective and efficient at work. They are one of my fav dogs so maybe I'm a bit biased haha

wow, the fact that he called it out all those years ago? John knows Simon really well. We should have listened to him more. On the other hand, he also said, Simon would never hurt us and now look at this mess. My God, I just feel so sorry for our girl.

Jesus every time we get a flashback of better times... I makes heart so heavy. This story feels so real, like we're a fly on the wall that watches a tragedy unfold.

Please give me a man like Price, he is such a sweet mew mew

not me almost crying at his little speech of how much he cares for her 😭😭

Song recommendation: Another Life - Motionless in White

HIIIII! it's wonderful hearing from you again I hope all is well! 🫶🏻💛

Tbh, I did a little research about beer in the UK, and some of it is similar to the US aluminum caps lol

And, I'm not sure if you read chapter 17 yet, so I'll refrain from commenting on the Simon rant to avoid spoilers 🫠

Peepaw Price cures depression for FREE. that's free therapy and I'm taking it!! 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

(MOTIONLESS IN WHITE MENTION RAAAAHHHHHHHHHH💖💖💖)

[shammah8]

RHAPSODY OF REALITIES

📅 SUN. 26TH MAY 2024

MANIFESTING THE GLORY OF THE KINGDOM

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All thy works shall praise thee, O Lord; and thy saints shall bless thee. They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power; To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts, and the glorious majesty of his kingdom (Psalm 145:10-12).

Pastor Chris Says

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Our opening verse tells us something striking about God’s Kingdom that we’re a part of: it’s a Kingdom with glory and power! A word I’d like to elaborate on is “glory.” The Bible says God’s saints shall speak of His glory. It also says they’ll make known the glorious majesty of His Kingdom. But what does glory mean?

Many times, people use the term “glory” without knowing what it really means. Glory is that which inspires, produces or causes honour. When something happens and that thing causes you to give honour, admiration and respect to another, that thing is said to be glorious.

Therefore, to say a meeting was glorious means that it inspired people to worship the Lord; they were inspired to praise Him. The meeting caused the attendees to respond in honour of God.

When Jesus turned water to wine at a wedding ceremony, the Bible says, “This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him” (John 2:11). When they saw what He did by turning water to wine, they were amazed. He manifested forth His glory, and His disciples believed in Him. They honoured and revered Him.

Now, you can understand when the Bible says, “They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom…” (Psalm 145:11). What’s in the Kingdom of God that we’re talking about? It’s a kingdom where sickness isn’t real, where defeat doesn’t exist; it’s a kingdom where life and immortality reign.

This is the Kingdom of God that we’re born into in Christ. 1 Peter 2:9 (AMPC) says, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God's] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” As you walk in the light of who you are in Christ, you’re showing forth the glory of the Kingdom

          🙏 P R A Y E R

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Dear Father, thank you for the glory of your Word in my life. You’ve called me into your glorious Kingdom, making me a partaker of the inheritance of the saints in light! I walk in your glory, dominion and power today, manifesting your excellence to my world, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

     📖 FURTHER STUDY:

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Isaiah 60:1;  Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee. 

Romans 8:19; For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. 

John 2:11 AMPC;  This, the first of His signs (miracles, wonderworks), Jesus performed in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory [by it He displayed His greatness and His power openly], and His disciples believed in Him [adhered to, trusted in, and relied on Him].

[riverdamien]

Climbing the Stairs-Up and Down

The Stairway of Religious Trauma-Walking Up and Down!

"For I handed on to you as of first importance what I also received and in which you also stand that Christ died for our sins in accordance to the Scriptures; that he was buried; that he appeared to Cephas, then to the Twelve. After that, he seemed more than five hundred brothers and sisters at once.

"Jesus I often feel like I am lost in a swamp where there is no foothold, I float aimlessly, wounded and hungry. Nurse me with food of mercy even when I resist such nourishment. From the watering depths. I weep. Draw me out of the abyss, dry my wounds, and guide me to dry land" . . ., this is a prayer I often pray, when I find myself falling into the swamp of the trauma of religion through which I work, my own, and of my guys. There are days I am up on the stairs, others I am way down! No medication, or having tons of therapy as I have had, will fix that, it is living the questions!

In the last couple of days, there has been news from the United Methodist General Conference over the change in the laws concerning homosexuality, the laws which have split the denomination, and seeing them change is a hopeful sign. Still, the reality of my trauma, while coming from the United Methodist Church, and the trauma of my youth stems from the overall dogma of churches in general. The major denominations which have become open to queers, change their laws and appear to move on.

It is primarily because their leadership is straight. You give people rights, and everything is then okay, but the reality there are centuries of abuse and trauma left behind.

Like with all minority groups, unless you are a part of one, who has undergone discrimination, you truly do not understand. One can be an ally, and yet at night walk home and forget about where the other stands. One has to live it, to suffer it, to truly understand!

In the last couple of days, my trauma has been pricked, and I feel a lot of darkness, darkness over the "friends" and "family" I once had, and I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been raised as straight or in a way sexual identity was simply a part of life.  Like an alcoholic, I was almost 30 before coming out, and so stuck in my adolescence and acted like a fifteen-year-old.  I had to grow up.  It has been only in the last few years that I am no longer afraid, of the mistakes I have made, ones I still cry over, but more than anything related to myself is the darkness over the hundreds of people who have come through my ministry in the last thirty years, on the street and off, that religious groups have abused. I have sat with many who have cut their wrists, are so depressed, and have lives torn apart, all over the interpretation of a religious group's interpretation of the Bible, written two thousand years ago. I cry suffer, and go sleepless nights, remembering their pain, and where many wound up--on the streets, the morgue, living very lonely lives with really no understanding of themselves, hooked on drugs and alcohol.

Many throw the baby out with the bathwater when they throw the Church out of their lives they throw Jesus out as well,  but my relationship with Christ teaches me his way of love, Jesus is a real presence in my life, and as Desmond Tutu tells us  the heart of the teaching of Jesus, giving life is:

"We are each made for goodness and compassion. Our lives are transformed as much as the world is when we live with these truths."

Reading comments regarding a new certificate in writing on a memoir,  Stanford had developed, one stood out, "I am  a good person, my life is boring, you have to live a dysfunctional life to be in this class." And I wondered and (LMAO) what is this person hiding from, because all of us are wounded, we all live in houses that have broken ceilings, and we all suffer.

It matters not what God, if any, one believes in, we are called to live with love and compassion. All else falls by the wayside when we do that! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

=================================================================================

Fr. River Damien Sims, D.Min., D.S.T.,Director

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

www.temenos.org

425-305-2124

Please give: Pay pal, or check

[jdgo51]

Holy Places of Hurt

Today's inspiration comes from:

She Speaks Fire

By Mariela Rosario

"Ideally, the church should be the one place where we can live authentically, without fear, as a community, but that’s not some people’s experience.

Just as Jesus experienced before His crucifixion, the deepest bruises and bloodiest beatings often come at the hands of church people, not sinners. Let me stop before anyone gets it twisted. I can tell you that I fundamentally, wholeheartedly, and unapologetically love God’s house. Not one part of me is a church hater or a church skeptic. I believe in, trust, and need the holiness and sanctity the church represents as the bride of Christ, and I’m here for it all day, every day — not just on Sundays.

But I’d be lying if I told you the church hasn’t sometimes looked more like the enemy of Christ than the bride of Christ. And my purpose in talking openly about a typically swept-under-the-rug conversation is not to bash or hurt the church but to follow the model of the garden.

Then God said to the man, ‘I commanded you not to eat from that tree. But you listened to your wife and ate from it. So I will curse the ground because of you. You will have to work hard all your life for the food the ground produces’. — Genesis 3:17 ERV

When Adam and Eve sinned, God didn’t curse them; He cursed the ground. After He exposed their sin, He told Adam that because of his sin, he would have to work harder, against thorns and thistles. When sin comes into our communities of worship today, God doesn’t curse us; He exposes our sins and tells us we’re going to have to get to work too, and we, too, will have “thorny” issues to face. God didn’t shy away from exposing the sin in the first community, and I’m here for a real, honest conversation about sin in our communities as well.

Power, position, and authority can make people do crazy things, say crazy things, and act in crazy ways and end up victimizing people worse than the world can outside the church walls. People expect blows of manipulation, abuse, and neglect from the world, but they don’t expect them in the name of their God. It changes something in the minds and hearts of believers when they experience their deepest pain in the house of God. It’s not just church hurt they must deal with; it’s a spiritual violation of the sacred relationship between the Father and His kids.

Faith is the very fabric of the church, and when people are broken and bleeding at the hands of people they’d expected to trust, asking them to trust again in a faith community can be nearly impossible.

A few years after starting She Speaks Fire, I shared coffee with a woman who was so deeply traumatized by church hurt that she vowed never to be part of a church community again. Let’s call her Ingrid. As she shared her shame story, she repeated a saying I had heard before but didn’t fully understand until that moment: church hurt is the worst hurt.

I listened quietly as she shared how she had been a leader at a church for almost fifteen years before she found out a shameful truth about her pastor. The so-called shepherd she was following showed himself to be a wolf. For over ten years he had been having an affair with a young woman in their church. It resulted in pregnancy. As Ingrid’s story unraveled in front of me, she wrestled with the incredulous detail that other people knew and suspected over the course of the past decade, but they were too afraid to speak. To some, her pastor was a benevolent and compassionate leader, and to others he was a tyrannical monster. To Ingrid, he was the former, and seeing him as a wolf brought an onslaught of anger, confusion, disappointment, and sadness. In the moment of his exposure, she looked around and wondered if others were real or just more wolves in disguise. If it was possible for the shepherd of the house to abuse those entrusted to his care, she wondered who could really be trusted in that place.

When spiritual abuse like this man’s is exposed in a church, everyone is exposed. This wasn’t just a man to Ingrid; he was her trusted and beloved pastor, mentor, and father figure. When he fell publicly, she, along with thousands of others, felt the rocking and shaking of the house. He was removed from all levels of leadership, and while Ingrid agreed with the removal, she was unprepared for the shame, panic, rage, and frailty that came as a result. One Sunday she was taking notes from his preaching from the pulpit, and the next he and his pregnant victim were gone from sight and all conversations. Hers was a story of abandonment and betrayal all wrapped up in one messy chapter in her church’s history.

God wants His sons and daughters to come back to His Son to experience a one-on-one encounter with a real Savior who could silence their shame once and for all.

At the end of her story, she told me she couldn’t go back to church because she didn’t believe it was even possible to survive as a church community after such a loss and betrayal. The sin wasn’t hers, but she felt the shame of association as a member of his church.

Did she weep for a man she had put her faith in? Yes.

Did she despise him for the choices he had made that painfully brought shame to everyone connected to him? Yes.

Did she want him back and at the same time want him to stay away? Yes.

Did she hurt and turn against fellow congregants because his decisions had forced them all to make decisions on what would happen next to their community? Yes.

Did she have to hold the pieces of her own heart while healing the hearts of those around her? Yes.

Did she believe the end of his story as her pastor translated to the end of her in that community?

Yes.

Was she wrong? Yes.

I gave her a tissue and wiped my own tears away. Then I reminded her that God removes people and things in a church community because it’s what’s best for the church as a whole, not the church as individuals. His vantage point from Heaven gives God a wider perspective to help communities make the difficult decisions to expose church hurts before those hurts become church culture.

There was peace for Ingrid instead of shame when she accepted that her pastor had to be removed because the culture he had begun to value was not that of the Kingdom. Yes, she hurt in the process, but I encouraged her to go back to God’s house so that a grace to heal, a grace to be truly seen, and a grace to be truly loved by God could be birthed from their communal pain.

If you’ve been part of a church community like Ingrid’s that has known the bloodshed and pain of spiritual manipulation, abuse, or neglect, I need you to know it may have changed you, but it didn’t change God. It didn’t change the fact that His house is still the body of Christ where people come to experience a one-on-one encounter with the real God of redemption and grace.

I can tell you this with full confidence and authority because sin and shame in the garden may have changed Adam and Eve, but it didn’t change God.

The first sin didn’t change the fact that God still, millennia later, wants His sons and daughters to come back to His Son to experience a one-on-one encounter with a real Savior who could silence their shame once and for all.

Just because you or I had an encounter with one of His sheep who went astray doesn’t mean God went astray too. He didn’t fail you and He didn’t forsake you. Your purpose didn’t change because your community got shaken or torn down. You’re going to heal and you’re going to move forward. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but you will heal.

Your community needs you to heal because they need you. We need you. We don’t need you because of what you do or what titles you carry; we need you because our communities can exist in health only when we choose to fight for interdependence instead of conforming to isolation. That is, when we see the value in ourselves, the value in one another, and the value in who we are together.

Close your eyes and see yourself being seen and known within an authentic community.

See your community strong and healthy.

Envision being part of a community that reflects genuine interdependence instead of isolation.

Imagine a community of people who know that nakedness of soul and spirit is a gift, not a punishment or a curse. Let yourself have faith again in a community that is healed and actively working to heal from past hurts and traumas. Now, open your eyes, wipe your tears, and go build it.

Garden Prayer

Father, You know the pain and longing of my heart for genuine godly community. You walk with me when I have no community, broken community, and whole community. You have seen the parts of me that hide, run, fight, and question in skepticism. I’m thankful that these places in me don’t surprise You or remove me from community with You.

Help me rebuild community again the same way You rebuilt community after the fall with Adam and Eve. I release every place of shame that has created walls of isolation and ask that You show me how to keep releasing shame to You as I move through these Garden Lessons. I surrender all my hurts to You because I know You can make me whole.

For all the healing You have done so far and for all You have yet to do in me, I thank You. Make my heart ready so that the community You see is the community I build. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Speaking Fire into Your Community

I declare that isolation and fear will not lead me away from the gift of community [Isaiah 41:10].

Even in my hurt, I will not doubt the Lord’s ability to heal [Psalm 69:20].

I choose today to rejoice with the truth and always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere [1 Corinthians 13:6–7].

Excerpted with permission from She Speaks Fire by Mariela Rosario, copyright Mariela Rosario.

[pogirosary]

What is Prayer? Why do we do it?

Prayer is communication between man and God, a two-way relationship in which man should not only talk to God but also listen to Him.  Just as we cannot hold a conversation with another person unless he can hear us, the very act of praying is an implicit recognition of the presence of God here with us. And in praying, we strengthen that recognition of the presence of God, which draws us closer to Him. That is why the Church recommends that we pray frequently and make prayer an important part of our daily lives. For the unbeliever, a prayer is a cry to know and have a relationship with the Living God. It is precious and sacred. Repentance and acknowledgment of Christ as Lord leads to walking in joy and fellowship with the One who made us (Romans 10:9-10). 

Another helpful way of understanding prayer comes from the Jesuit theologian Walter Burghardt, who once expressed contemplation/prayer as “taking a long, loving look at the real.” Let’s break this definition down into parts. First, prayer begins with taking a long look. It’s looking at reality like slow-motion cameras at a sporting event. We get the chance to slow down and to take a closer look, which may reveal to us things we might have otherwise missed in our fast-paced lives. Second, prayer is also a long, loving look. When I reflect on reality, do I look with harsh, judgmental eyes, or with the loving, tender, and merciful eyes of God? Lastly, in prayer we look lovingly at the real: the reality of my life and the world. We start with reality because God does so through the Incarnation. God undertakes the work of salvation not by fleeing human reality, but by entering into it. In the ultimate act of solidarity, God became one of us in the person of Jesus. And Jesus experienced all that reality encompasses: from joy and laughter to suffering and death. So we know that God can hold the messiness of our reality and of our world. God can handle whatever we express in prayer. Because love holds all things.

There are many promises in God’s Word to encourage us to pray, such as: “He shall call upon me and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honor him” (Psalm 91:15); “And it shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24); “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). The Scriptures tell us that we are to pray for one another and also assure us that God hears and answers prayer.  

The Bible provides many examples of prayer and how to pray. These examples show ordinary men and women laying their hearts before God, seeking Him in humility and praise. The following are several prayers we can ponder today.

The apostle Paul exhorted his readers to “not be anxious but pray about everything” (Philippians 4:6). He also prayed that unbelievers would come to a saving knowledge of Christ (Romans 10:1). In fierce opposition, Peter and John prayed for courage to share the Gospel (Acts 4:29) and that God would perform wonders to glorify His Name (Acts 4:30).

The early church prayed over each other for healing (James 5:14-15) and the release of those in prison (Acts 12:5). They asked God for wisdom and discernment to carry out their work for the Lord (James 1:5, Philippians 1:9-10). The early church The early church also prayed to know the will of the God they served (Colossians 1:9) and for the ability to grasp the depth of their Savior’s love (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Mary prayed in awe and wondered over the news that she bear the Son of God The beauty and humility of her opening words still bring joy to our hearts today. “And Mary said: ‘My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant’” (Luke 1:46-48).

The last prayer of the Bible is short but filled with power and anticipation. The apostle John, confined to the Island of Patmos, penned these brief but hope-filled words. “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” (Revelation 22:20).

We pray to align our hearts with God and to seek His guidance in the moments of our days. We find wonderful examples of this in scripture—from Abraham to David to the prophets—but one of the most powerful examples is in King Hezekiah’s life.

King Hezekiah, a God-fearing King, ruled the Southern Kingdom of Judah after the horrific reign of King Ahaz. A tribute to Hezekiah’s depth of character is found in 2 Kings 18:5. “Hezekiah trusted in the LORD, the God of Israel. No one was like him among all the kings of Judah, either before or after him.”

After the evil of Ahaz, Hezekiah was a tremendous blessing to the people of Judah. He moved to destroy idol worship, removed the high places that distracted the people from Jerusalem, and even broke the bronze snake of Moses’ day because the people burned incense in its honor (2 Kings 18:3-4).

However, amid the good he was doing, Hezekiah was under intense scrutiny and pressure from the evil leader of Assyria, Sennacherib. The Assyrian King repeatedly sent delegations to mock and taunt the nation of Judah, telling the people not to be comforted or fooled by their leader, Hezekiah, because the destruction of their nation was assured. The mighty Assyrians had conquered every other nation around them—why not Judah (2 Kings 18:31-35)?

At one point, as the Assyrian delegation mocked Hezekiah’s commitment to God, they left their threats in a letter. The significance of Hezekiah’s response to this evil threat is life-changing. “Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it. Then he went up to the temple of the LORD and spread it out before the LORD” (2 Kings 19:14).

As Christ-followers who long to seek God’s heart in all things, we mustn’t miss the magnitude of King Hezekiah’s actions. He took the letter—filled with terrifying details of certain destruction—and spread it out before the Lord.

Scripture doesn’t say this good king reread the letter and agonized over every word. He didn’t call endless meetings with his officials to discuss the horrifying details.

He read the letter. He went to the temple of God and placed the letter before the Source of all hope and deliverance. God heard his prayer, and the Kingdom of Judah was spared from the attack of the Assyrians (2 Kings 19:20-34).

Oh, how I love that God moved through the writers of scripture to record this hope-filled story for us today. And what a powerful, visual example of taking our fears and anxiety to our Heavenly Father.

We will face our own “Assyrian Army” on our earthly journey. This may include sickness, grief, job loss, heartache, betrayal, etc. But we can take it all to the One Who created us and knows us to our very depths.

Now read King Hezekiah’s amazing prayer in 2 Kings 19:15-19

"And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: "Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth.  Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God.  "It is true, Lord, that the Assyrian kings have laid waste these nations and their lands.  They have thrown their gods into the fire and destroyed them, for they were not gods but only wood and stone, fashioned by human hands.  Now, Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone, Lord, are God."

As followers of Jesus, we are called to devote time to prayer and meditation over His Word. Reading the inspired Word of God and praying as we read is a treasured gift from our Creator. God promises peace to those who keep their minds on Him (Isaiah 26:3). Oh, to linger in quiet moments with Him! 

But there is a type of meditation in our unbelieving world that we should avoid because of its emptiness and potential dangers. Any practice that directs us to clear or empty our minds is suspect because we are called to fill our hearts and minds with God’s promises and precepts (Psalms 1:2). If our minds are “emptied,” as the world suggests, there is a potential danger for the intake and acceptance of thoughts and philosophies contrary to God’s Word.

Additional verses about godly prayer and meditation include Philippians 4:8, Psalm 19:14, Psalm 63:6, Psalm 104:34, and Psalm 119:15.

We learn vital aspects of prayer by following Jesus’ example in His years of ministry on this earth. From scripture, we know that Jesus prayed alone (Luke 5:16), He prayed with others (Luke 9:28), and He prayed for others (Matthew 19:30).

In Jesus’ earliest teachings on prayer, He begins by urging His disciples to pray with humility, not to be seen and admired. Matthew 6:5 reads, “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.” And in Matthew 6:7, Jesus focused on praying with humble simplicity, not with endless words and phrases. From there, He moves to the beloved model of prayer still recited around the world today, what we call, The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). What a moment this must have been for Jesus’ disciples. To learn about prayer from the Author of their faith! 

In John 17, knowing His time of death was near, Jesus went to His Father in prayer. He prayed that the Father would be glorified through what was to come (John 17:1-5). He prayed for His disciples, that they would be protected and sanctified (John 17:6-18). And then, in a breathtaking moment of love and compassion, Jesus prayed for us. John 17:20-21 reads, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” And in the Garden of Gethsemane, before laying down His life for the redemption of sinners, Jesus lay His deepening sorrow before the Father. Three times He asked that, if possible, the path before Him could be changed (Matthew 26:39-44). But ultimately, for the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2), He surrendered to the will of God. “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done” (Matthew 26:42). 

Even on the cross, Jesus prayed. He cried out to His Father seeking forgiveness for His persecutors (Luke 23:34), to express agony over the temporary separation from His Father (Matthew 27:46), and to breathe His last words as He laid down His life for us all (Luke 23:46).

What is prayer? Prayer is a priceless gift from a loving Father to His children. What a joy to walk each moment in close, sacred fellowship with our Creator. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3).

Prayer is a treasured privilege and mainstay for those who belong to God through the saving work of Jesus’ death and resurrection. The gift of communing with our Creator—child to Father—is the anchor and cornerstone of our life’s journey. 

"Prayer is communication with God. It is not only talking to God, but it is listening to God. And we are to pray, first and foremost, because we are commanded to pray. It is an act of obedience. I may not always understand the process of prayer or the behind-the-scenes work of prayer, but God wants me to depend upon him and to ask him for those things that are needed most in life. Yes, God is going to give us good things. He's going to provide for us. But it's clear in scripture that we have not because we ask not. And they're just too many scriptures that tell us that we're to pray. And if we don't pray, we limit what God will choose to do in our lives. It is the process. And every time God answers prayer, it strengthens our faith. Every time we get an answer and God delivers in his own way, in his own time, we develop as disciples in Christ. So of all the things Jesus taught, he was a great preacher and communicator, obviously, but when the disciples came to him, they didn't say, 'Lord, teach us to preach.' They said, 'Lord, teach us to pray.' There was something about the prayer life of Jesus that was so powerful, so persuasive that these men wanted to know how do we pray like that. And so getting in touch with God, knowing God, growing in our faith, getting the things that we need, all of this comes from the hand of God. I believe in prayer, and not just the idea of prayer, but I believe God really answers prayer." - Dr. Jack Graham, PowerPoint Ministries