#jester hat is mine

[choccy-sippy]

C:

[sleepyflowershead]

the two goo🃏

the two possessed pv that is gooie!

@star143gallery ‘s pv and mine, enjoy this lil doodle of them

[gps-yaps]

happy birthday!!

yay

[cringe-towne]

[syphylus]

Headgear at Walter Van Beirendonck Fall 2024

[ssruis]

The only valid reason to want more male characters is to want more costumes for the male characters but honestly I think you should just be putting them in the dumbest outfits imaginable anyways.

[doctor-badadvice]

"Ah yes, I'm really enjoying Generator Rex! My favorite part is…the action."

[thewritetofreespeech]

Hii gigachad, since the requests are open I'd love to get smn in!!

Something platonic for a gregarious Jester girl and Alucard. Very much 'popular kid has all the friends but likes the quiet kid best' dynamic. She sees him sulking in a corner, "a cold spot in the room", trying to make her leave by sheer force of will, and she's like 'I need to make him laugh everyday of my life.'

It had been a long journey to the next town. The trio walking for miles before the small flicker of window lights winked at them in the distance. When they arrived in the town, however, it was more than just window lights that greeted them.

“A circus?” Syph noted.

“A traveling one looks like.” Trevor commented. “Hold on to your purses.”

“Don’t be rude Trevor.” Sypha scolded him. “These people make a living much like mine. Traveling and providing their services to others.”

“Yes. Imagine how much more welcoming people would be if you added a little face paint to your outfits.” Sypha scowled at Trevor as they watched the jugglers, clowns, and acrobats delight the town.

“I’m surprised they are letting them perform.” Sypha noted. “Crowds and lights like this are sure to attract more night creatures.”

“True. But people sometimes need more than safety in times of trouble.” Trevor noted as he watched some kids race by laughing. Thinking that that was probably the first time in a long time he had heard that. “Besides. There’s something here.”

“Something?”

“A magic field.” Alucard answered at Sypha’s prying. “Something a bit stronger than pulling rabbits out of hats. Like a cloaking spell, or protection ward.”

Sypha hummed in understanding. “Well, if it’s all safe, why don’t we enjoy the festivities for a bit before we check into the inn.”

“I would rather not.” Alucard commented. “I detest clowns.”

“Whhhaaaat about jesters?” The trio turned around to find a lively, spritely, jovial jester behind them. Startling them with their presence and optimism.

“Clowns with more bells.”

The jester laughed. “Aww…it’s more than that. Although they do say that our ability for accessories is what differentiates of from animals.” They teased. “You all must have had a heard journey. Hence the looong face.”

Alucard’s deepened as Trevor snickered behind him. “Well, my day just improved.”

“Please don’t comment on my features.” Alucard warned them.

“Oh. Sorry. Sore spot? Handsome man like you? I never mean to make anyone uncomfortable.”

“You are making me uncomfortable.” He told them.

“Dawww….such a sour puss. You know a smile a day keeps the doctor away! I’ll leave you alone then. But before I go: what’s black & white and red all over?” Alucard arched a brow at them. “A cow who’s just told a really bad joke!”

Sypha & Trevor snicker at the terrible joke, though Sypha seemed genuinely amused. Alucard, despite himself, felt the corners of his lips turn up. The joke was indeed terrible but maybe it was just the delivery, or their enthusiasm, that made him smirk.

“There you go! Live long in good health my friends.”

The jester gave a dramatic bow before they cartwheel away to another guest of the circus. “You know, of all the things we’ve seen, I think that was the strangest.”

“Agreed.” Alucard replied to Sypha. “Let’s find the inn.”

[tacowacco]

˚₊‧꒰ঌ The Jester and the Princess ໒꒱‧₊˚

🌀 court jester!shadow milk x princess!(fem)reader

🌀 cw: obsessive themes, yandere themes, unhinged smc, mentions of arranged marriage, medieval time period (might not be 100% accurate), and possible ooc.

🌀 a/n: my longest fic yet, 2048 words :))! i hope you guys enjoy this as much i did writing it. inspired by romeo and juilet!! should i make a pt 2?

You were the daughter of one of the wealthiest royal families in Crispia, making you the princess of your kingdom. You were beloved by everyone in your realm due to your unwavering kindness, intelligence, and ethereal beauty. The citizens of your kingdom held you in high regard, affectionately referring to you as “Your Highness” and “Princess Y/n.”

“Father, what's this?” you asked as you accidentally tumbled, due to your inability to see anything because of the blindfold you were wearing.

“Open your eyes now,” your father excitedly says as he removes the blindfold. You blink a few times trying to regain your vision, until your eyes widen seeing a jester before you. 

“Tis I, your humble jester, here to brighten up your mood! Shadow Milk Cookie!” the mismatched-eyed, blue doughed jester said as he lowered his jester hat and bowed. 

“The famous playwright, poet, actor, and jester...THE Shadow Milk Cookie?” you blabber seeing the famous jester in front of you.

“My, my, my, I didn’t know the princess was such a huge fan of mine!” Shadow Milk says teasingly. Your face flushes immediately, and you quickly turn your face the other way embarrassedly. 

“Wait..is he our court jester, Father?” you ask.

“Correction, he is your court jester.” your father corrects you.

“Mine? Mine! My very own court jester!” you exclaimed, believing that this would bring some excitement to your otherwise monotonous royal life. Contrary to popular belief, being a member of the royal family wasn’t as thrilling as many imagined. In reality, your life as a princess was often dull and filled with tedious tasks.

— ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚—

Shadow Milk truly enjoyed being your personal court jester; he delighted in watching you laugh at his jokes, become captivated by his theatrical tricks, and applaud every one of his performances.

You were different; you adored every single act of art he performed. Shadow Milk noticed how tenderly you looked at him, how your eyes would glisten while staring at him after he finished a play, and you truly adored him.

He admired you deeply—your gentle laugh, the graceful way you moved, and your unwavering kindness to those around you. You were not only beautiful but also perfect in his eyes. You possessed a unique charm and brilliance that no one could surpass or replace, even in the slightest.

He loved you. Love that made him claw at his own skin because he simply couldn't tear you out of his heart.

He despised how your precious smile made him weak in his knees, the sound of your voice as addictive as the finest wine, and your gentle laugh making his heart skip a beat. 

He needed you.

Not in a way a child needed a toy,

or a dog needed a bone but in the way the ocean needed salt.

A flower needs water and sunlight,

a heart needs blood.

When it came to you, an unfamiliar sense of greed overtook him; he felt a strong need to have you by his side—where you rightfully belonged. He wanted you all to himself, to worship you and treat you like the graceful deity he believed you were. His love for you bordered on obsession—he was truly obsessed with you.

He needed you to survive, but there was one problem: your social differences. You were a princess, the heir to the throne and he was a court fool. Yet, that didn’t stop him because he knew that deep down you too also loved him as much as he did.

You were looking at yourself in a mirror, trying the new dress your mother gifted you unaware of the jester lurking. You turned around again, letting a small yelp as you were met with the jester in front of you.

“Ah— Shadow Milk!” you yelped, before he placed a slender finger on your soft lips. Quietly shushing you, “How’d you get here?” you asked. 

“What can I say? I have a few tricks up my sleeve,” he teases, noticing your beautiful gown. “My, my! What's this? I haven't seen you wear this gown before...” he coos, playfully fiddling with the hem of the dress.

“It’s new; my mother gifted it to me for the ball tonight. She told me that tonight's ball is a special occasion, and she’d like me to look more lovely than ever,” you say.

“I’m afraid that's impossible, my poppet. Everything you wear only enhances your beauty, which surpasses even the most beautiful flowers,” he says as he kneels on one knee and gently kisses your hand.

“Oh, you flatter me, my jester,” you say, looking down at him and gently cupping his face. You gaze lovingly into his eyes as you run your fingers through his dark blue hair. The moment is sweet and intimate. Suddenly, it comes to an abrupt end when you hear your mother calling your name, “Y/n? Y/n, are you here?” she calls out.

“Quick! You must go now!” You say, hurrying Shadow Milk. He quickly jumps out of a nearby window disappearing into the forest of green trees and flora. You quickly fix yourself before your mother opens the door, and comes in. 

“Who was that you were speaking to, dear?” your mother questions  

“Ah, nobody, don't worry about it dear mother,” you say awkwardly. 

“Oh Y/n, you can’t go to the ball looking like this. Here, sit down and I’ll brush your hair for you.” your mother says as she picks up a nearby brush and motions you to sit down.

Your mother hummed a tune as she gently brushed your long hair, running her fingers through the soft, silky strands. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, which highlighted both her beauty and yours.

“Such a lovely daughter I brought into this world,” your mother said, gazing lovingly into your eyes. “You’ve already grown into a woman.” 

“It feels like just yesterday that she was born,” your nurse remarked as she folded some laundry. 

“I hope to live long enough to see the day you get married and have children of your own, Lady Y/n.” Your Nurse said as she gently smiled at you.

“Tell me, my daughter, what are your thoughts on marriage?” your mother asks happily, tenderly holding your hands.

“I suppose I’ve never really given it much thought,” you respond sheepishly. Marriage hasn’t been something you’ve considered yet.

“Then take some time to think about marriage! Your father and I would love to see you happily courted while we’re still here,” your mother says excitedly. 

“Ah...I suppose I could give it some thought,” you say as you awkwardly smile. Your mother cups your face, “That’s more like it.” she replies as she leaves your bed chamber.

— ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚—

Shadow Milk lurked in the crowd, observing as you danced with various people—unimportant side characters, in his eyes. He believed he should be the one dancing with you; it should be his hands touching yours, and all your attention should be focused on him. Those people didn't deserve your undivided attention; it should belong to him. They weren't worthy of being in your presence, of breathing the same air as you. Finally, after watching for a while, he had had enough.

Shadow Milk ruffles through the crowd of people, his identity hidden behind the mask he was wearing. He shoves through the crowd of people dancing, chatting, and having playful banter until he stops once he sees you. There you are, chatting with one of your cousins–an unimportant side character he thought. He walks forward towards you pushing your cousin aside before asking you, “May I have this dance with you, Your Highness?” 

Before ending the dance, the masked gentleman gently kissed your hand and walked away, leaving you captivated and wanting more. You stood there dumbfoundedly, watching as the mysterious man disappeared into the sea of people. Suddenly, something inside sprang and you hustled through the crowd of people chasing the man. 

Finally, out of breath, you caught up to the man. “Wait!” you say, breathing heavily. “I didn’t catch your name, mysterious gentleman,” you add.

“Don’t believe I dropped it,” he teases, turning around and placing his finger beneath your chin to make you face him.

“Who are you?” you ask, completely captivated by the charm of the mysterious masked man. You gaze deeply into his eyes, lost in a trance, until he leans in and kisses you softly. You pull him closer, embracing him in a gentle, passionate kiss.

You pull away and lift the mask off his face, gasping as you see it was your jester beneath the mask the whole time. “Sh... Shadow Milk? How did you get here?” you ask.

He cheekily giggles, “See my dear poppet, as a jester I have numerous tricks hidden beneath my sleeves. After all, a magician never reveals his secrets.” He says this as he prepares to climb down the balcony railings.

“Wait!--Shadow Milk..!” You holler, causing him to abruptly stop climbing down. “Yes, my princess?” he replies. You pull him closer kissing him. You two kiss plant kisses onto each other's lips.

“My, my, I didn’t know the princess had such a soft spot for me,” he teases, planting another kiss on your lips.

“How could I not? After all, you're my favorite jester,” you say, returning the kiss. He pulls away and begins to climb down, “Wait!” you say once more before planting a long, passionate kiss onto his lips. 

“Can’t get enough, can you? Your lips are sweeter than the sweet honey that comes from bees. They're so addicting, my lips seem to always miss their touch,” he says. 

“Lady Y/n!” you heard your nurse call out, “Coming!” you say before pressing one more kiss onto the jester’s lips. 

“Y/n? Y/n!” your nurse called out one more time, “Give me a second!” you holler as you finally press one last kiss onto Shadow Milk’s lips.

“Goodbye, Shadow Milk..I’ll see you again,” you say as you watch him disappear. 

“There you are, Lady Y/n! Your mother has been looking everywhere for you,” your nurse says as she appears behind you. "Your mother says it's time for bed."

"Alright, thank you Nurse." You politely reply as you enter your bedroom, thinking about your encounter with Shadow Milk. You flop onto your bed, giggling and kicking your feet at the memory of him and reminiscing about his gentle kisses and sweet words. Hugging a pillow, you roll over, repeating his name softly in your mind.

Your fingers brushed over your lips, recalling how his lip gently pressed against yours. You already missed his touch. Oh, how you loved him.

"Oh, Shadow Milk.." you reply to a lingering thought about your encounter with Shadow Milk.

— ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚—

As soon as you woke up, your parents needed to inform you about some important 'exciting' news. You knew that meant nothing good.

“Y/n, your father has arranged for you to marry Count Pure Vanilla in four days’ time, as he has chosen you to be his wife and love,” your mother says immediately. Your heart drops, and you feel tears begin to prickle from the corner of your eyes.

“What? No! I will not marry him!” you say in a fit. 

“Y/n! You will marry him,” he says sternly. 

“No! No! Please father!” you beg.

“Y/n! I will disown you and throw you into the streets if you do not marry him,” he says in a fit of rage. You turn to your mother, and give her a look of hopelessness. "Oh, Mother please!" you cry, tugging the sleeve of her dress.

"Enough is enough. You are marrying Count Pure Vanilla, and that's the end of the story," your mother replies harshly as she drags you into your room, leaving you with your nurse. You tumble onto the ground, beginning to wail as your nurse leans over to comfort you.

"There, there, dear," she says, wiping your tears away. "Perhaps marrying Count Pure Vanilla is the right choice. He is the most desirable husband you could have." your nurse states.

But your heart belonged to Shadow Milk. Little did you know, you were always his to begin with.

[gps-yaps]

New pins:3

[echantedtoon]

Deadly Vow

Even in the middle of your revenge being complete, Jester reminds you that your deadly vows still remain in tact until the very end.

(This is based on Ending 1: Our Vow- Until Death Do US Part. Coverart is from Pinterest and not mine. Warnings for death and killing mentioned.)

"I no longer have need of your services."

"Is that right?"

It had been months since the time you died only to be revived and then had your revenge on everyone who wronged you. It was only the beginning really. 

Ever since you were a little girl you've done everything right. As princess and next in line you were prepared for only one thing and that was to become the perfect young lady. You think they resented you for not being born the strong male heir they wanted to have and instead would have to pick someone else from one of the other noble families to marry you and become their true heir. After all a woman in their eyes could never inherit their throne. Not like a man could. So you had done everything you could do to please them. You studied everything you could do to make yourself come off as a proper well bred lady. Learning to dance in those uncomfortable shoes, laugh at suitors' ridiculous jokes no matter how obnoxious they were, making yourself fond over men that your parents expressed interest in even if you hated their entire being, forcing yourself into those ridiculous dresses and make up because that's what you were expected to look like...

And yet it was NEVER good enough for them. Never good enough for anyone. All of your efforts only seemed to make them more angry of you even though you were doing more than they expected. 

In the end they were so fed up with your existence that they made the choice to end your life other than imprison you or vanish you. Both would've been preferable fates, at least then you would've been free to stop pretending to be something else you weren't. Your personal side being the one to do the deed. And leaving you to be brought back in the back of a wagon as they carted you off like unwanted cargo. If you only hadn't been born in the royal family maybe nothing would've happened.

But now you sat here in what remained of the crumbling throne room and just stared blankly at him. The demon who had done all the destruction. First ones to go were the ones who transported you away, then your parents, then your old personal aide that did the job, and then anyone the demon dam well pleased. Over and over day after day until the castle and the kingdom as a whole was swallowed up until nothing else was left but a smoking husk of what once was.

You nodded before the red and blue haired jester demon. The one responsible for it all. "Yes. You've done everything I asked you for and in turn I gave you the destruction you wanted so badly. My end of the deal is done and in turn yours is as well. So we have no more need to be in servitude to one another. I release you from your promise to me."

Instead of taking the obvious way out, he hummed tilting his head bells jingling on his hat. "Hmm. That would make sense....but I have no interest in in leaving what's mine." Those deadly eyes narrowed. "Isn't that right, my dear little wife?~"

Wife. 

You'd forgotten about that.

As a princess you were expected to be married. More like married off. It was your date to be married off to someone else who you probably would never love. All under the guise of being for the 'better of your people and kingdom' and then to be nothing but the perfect little supportive wife to him for the rest of your lives and produce him many heirs. It was a date you being trapped didn't want but made peace with doing a long time ago and would've done it at one point in time.

To force yourself to wear whatever gown your mother pick and force yourself to smile and laugh in mock happiness as your father walked you down the aisle after the bridesmaids and flower girl and ring bearer. Force yourself to repeat rehearsed vows your mother wrote for you in advance and say I do to a stranger you'd never love. And thank everyone for coming to 'the happiest day of your life' and force yourself to scarf down too sweet wedding cake and cry over tacky decorations you'd have no say in picking. 

But now none of it mattered really. You ended up promising your hand to the demon before you. A princess and a jester. An ironic comical fate. He was suddenly upon you, grabbing your hand while the other looked around your waist pulling you against him as he grinned a smile that was both malevolent and full of want for you.

"After all all this destruction wasn't part of any deal. It was my wedding gift to you ~ As I said before, let this be my marriage vow and promise to you, my dear.~"

[homestuckreplay]

today I learned that the folks over at the dwarf fortress forums love discussing homestuck so much that it's in their top 10 threads of all time. this thread is over 3500 pages and is a well preserved and non paywalled record of people's reactions to early homestuck! their reactions are similar to mine in some ways and very different in others - I LOVE these theories they have about John's dad.

plain text of posts under the cut because i realize they're hard to read:

tehstefan (December 3, 2009) My take is that he's actually foresworn clowning, and tried to become respectable after John's mother either left or died, but kept the clowns around to honor Nanna, who is definitely a master jester. My take on it.

Duke 2.0 (December 3, 2009) And then he finds a slip of colored cloth, pulls on it, and it reveals a whole clown room hidden beneath the businessman exterior.

eerr (December 3, 2009) He reveals that the paper holds invisible clown contract ink, the shoes double as hats and noses, the bed flips over into a pie covered exterior, the cakemix is part of his pie recipie, the buisness suit is a disguise, and the hat is just a lie. He avoids real weapons because of a bias against hurting others. Circumstances have changed his ways, he knows that john probably needs help right now.

[shadowmilkcookieeee]

Hi there, congrats on the new blog!! May i request a shadow milk x reader who’s an artist? thank you so much!!!

A/N!: OMG first ask! I'm not the best at writing fanfiction but I still love doing it! I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Shadow Milk Cookie • GN! Artist! reader

Artist's Touch

"Can you make Vanilly's hat darker?"

"Can you make the Fool King's face dumber?"

"Can you give mine muscles?"

Ever since he'd gotten out of the Silver Tree, Shadow Milk Cookie had been nagging you all day with his puppets, asking for you to add your own flair to the artwork on them. It had been question after question, one "pretty please" after another, begging you to just add a little more to them until you finally caved.

Now... he was watching over your shoulder as you'd add another stroke of blue paint to the puppet, his intense gaze observing each movement of the paintbrush with both criticism and fascination. He couldn't wait to use your lovely art to torment those fake heroes... but for now, he'd be patient. After all, he'd waited this long, what more was five minutes?...

...too long, that's what.

"Is it done yet? They'll be coming any minute now!"

"Almost, it just needs to dry." These words earned a dramatic huff from the jester, his foot tapping on the ground as he'd watch down the halls of the castle. He wanted those little cookies to hurry up already so he could crush and crumble their drive... but at least this gave the two of you time to finish up the props for the puppet show.

You'd lower the puppet on the floor to dry before standing up on the tiles, looking in the direction Shadow Milk Cookie was glaring impatiently at... an idea forming in your mind. Looking down at your paintbrush with a grin, you'd step closer to the unsuspecting jester, lifting your arm slowly as you drew near....

Shadow Milk Cookie jolted when he felt something cold and wet on his dough, whipping his head around to look at you... a spot of indigo paint on his cheek.

"Hey! What was that for?" He'd feel his cheeks get warmer when you'd chuckle at his surprise... But what really made his face match the paint was what you'd say next in a teasing voice.

"I'm just adding my artistic touch to you, silly!"

"..."

With a flustered huff, he'd lean his forehead against your forehead, his bangs falling further over his face as he'd mumble.

"..I guess waiting for those little cookies isn't so bad."

🫐

Just realized while writing that this is my first fanfic since middle school??? This was a fun way to warm up! I hope it's not too bad, but I'm a little rusty. Practice makes perfect!

[fishyvamp]

Thinking about Court Jester!Ghostface standing on stage at a festival. the queen is sat beside the King with two brave knights by their sides. The man who dares to scream and taunt on stage for all to see;

"Ladies and slimes and everyone who dares to climb, come quick, come quick!" Bells ringing as he prances around the stage his hat flopping about as children giggle at the scene. "I have a tale to share in honor of our newly crowned queen!" He bowed twirling his hat off his head revealing a mop of shaggy disheveled black hair. His eyes glancing up lingering on each one standing in the royal stand. Smirking as he felt the Captain stare him down. "I have tale, most fictional! But it tis grand and it tis smart and it tis only mine to tell. So listen closely..." He voice dropping softly watching as the crowd leaned in only to shout, "but not too close! For I shall scream my tale for it must be seen!"

Arms raised to the sky the bells of his feet jingling as he moved about, "tis a dark tale of deception, murder, and most importantly—" his wrist flicking out to reveal a rose holding it out to you to take, "Love most forbidden." A smile bright on his painted face.

He stood up straight covering his face, "but oh contrare my most debonair for I hath seen it's beauty plain in the eye of my mind it drives me insane I might die!" He placed above his head rocking on his feet as if to faint, falling back before stomping forward startling the crowd. "But I shall live and release this pain for all to hear so I may gain some semblance of..." His breath stalling the sentence trailing off his gaze cast downward seemingly locked on you. Before snapping away.

"there once was lonely prince of far away whose desires of love were not what he should crave. A servant! A slave!" He shouted crouching low hands in front of him as if ready to lunge, "A slave? You might say, tis true. A prince who was blue who craves a slave. A slave who is bound with one rule, a rule only a fool would break. Protect the prince, let him not ache. For if he did, the king would quake."

The court jester looked upon the crowd eyeing each and everyone memorizing their looks. His movements wide and broad, "Little did the king of madness know of the prince of sadness that he already ached, his mind slaved away trying to purge his thoughts of gay." He clawed at his clothes as his cadence became desperate. Falling to his knees, before looking up with soulful look. "The king must never know." He whispered longingly reaching out to the captain of the guard. Head dropping as he turned to the crowd face going blank. "The slave must never know." Hands pawing at the stage as he crawled along the polished wood, bells clanging with each step. "The slave must never know," he repeated reaching out to you. Before pulling away abruptly rising to his feet hands held to his chest.

"but if madness know anything, it knows to hurt." The words almost melancholy, "it knows to look; to find the sadness and make it grow! It lashes! lashes out tearing into flesh and bone!" His words louder with each word as he pulls away from himself, "you could hear the cry and as the slave screamed, chained and bound; helpless to fight, for the prince he must protect, but the king he must serve."

The jesters hands falling to his sides as he bows his head, "the prince he must protect, but the king he must serve" his words echoing on the stage. His pacing slow as he carried on, "the slave wept mourning the prince. Mourning the softness he brought. The slave had been greedy, being so needy as to crave the prince himself... He too died that day a heart so shattered it could scarcely beat." A single tear sliding down his face as he lets a silence linger over the space. "Tis a shame that tattered lovers were torn apart, but fret not their corpses did rise. A secret they vowed to keep the slave purging himself of his vows as he plunged a blade deep in the chest of a beast who will forever now sleep!"

The jester now facing the new queen, "whatever do you think a bride feel to know her groom had lied? To think he lived a corpse that loved another, but will never love her?" The Queen's personal guard moving closer hand on the back of her chair. The jester already thinking of ways to tell that tale at the next festival. The King's inner circle knows the truth, but to you it is just a tragedy. A story told by a man you wish would pay you mind even off that wretched stage. The rose sharp in your hand blood staining the stone below you as you clutched that rose.

[amazingmsme]

Looking For This?

AN: Aaahh, it’s that time of year again! Tickletober is finally here, so why not get cozy & read some great fics? To kick things off I have a really cute Fjord/Jester fic for y’all to enjoy! Can’t wait to see what this month has in store!

Fjord was going to go crazy. He was currently searching his cabin frantically, turning the room upside down in search of one accessory. A very important accessory. Without it, his whole look was ruined. A captain's hat needed a large feather.

It was regal, it was a status symbol, and it just tied the outfit together. Without it, he'd look fucking stupid.

He didn't even know how he'd lost it! It had been pinned to the hat, and last he had checked it had still been there. They were supposed to be leaving soon, and he refused to leave without it. He was Captain Tusktooth, and he needed to look the part.

Jester watched from the doorway as Fjord grumbled to himself, looking through drawers and pulling back the covers on the bed. She smirked to herself, hiding the source of his frustration behind her back.

"Where the hell did it go?" he finally cried in frustration.

"Looking for this?" she asked in a lilting voice, pulling the feather out from behind her back. Fjord jumped at the sound of her voice and turned around, relief washing over his voice.

"Jester, you're my hero! I've been looking for that everywhere, thank you!" he exclaimed, holding his hand out expectantly. His relieved smile faded when Jester just stood there with a wide, innocent smile, twirling the feather between her fingers. "Um, are you gonna give that back now?" he asked, eyeing her hands nervously.

She giggled and cocked her head to the side. "And why would I do that?" she asked sweetly. She rocked back and forth in her feet, tail lashing behind her mischievously.

"B-because I need it. Because it's mine-"

"Finders keepers though! I just found it sticking off this goofy hat, and thought, "hey, wouldn't it be better if I just took it?" So I did!"

"Goofy? Your mother gave me that hat!"

"Oh relax Fjord, I'm just teasing! I think you look very handsome in your hat," he complimented, mostly to keep him at ease.

"So can I have it back?" he pressed, motioning with two fingers for her to return it. She bit her lip and gripped it closer.

"In a minute."

"Jester-"

"I just wanna play with it first!" she whined, jutting her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. Fjord furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Play with-" it suddenly dawned on him and his eyes flew wide and he cut himself off mid-sentence, "No! Jester, don't! We're supposed to meet Caleb and Essek soon, we really don't have time-"

"There's always time for a bit of fun. Don't you think?" she cocked her head and batted her lashes, the picture of fake innocence.

"No. I'm serious, please give it back," he requested yet again, trying not to let his nerves seep into his voice. But she could read him like a book, and knew that he was getting worked up. It was too perfect not to take full advantage of.

"But you're so tense Fjord! You need to loosen up before we go to dinner," he insisted, taking a step forward. He took a step back.

"Absolutely not! Stay away from me!" he threatened, pointing at her accusingly.

"What? I thought you wanted it back. I'm just returning it to you," she was doing a poor job of holding back her grin. He shook his head.

"Mm-mm, I'm not falling for it."

"Falling for what?"

"Jester!"

"Fjord!"

He leaned back, griping fistfuls of hair and groaning in amused frustration. He wore a flustered smile, watching her from the corner of his eye.

"We have to get going, they'll be waiting on us.”

"They can get a table! It won't kill them to wait a few minutes."

Fjord whined, realizing there really was no way out of this.

"You're lucky you're so cute. Alright fine. Five minutes, but no more," he finally caved.

"And no less," she purred, waltzing over to him proudly now that she got her way. She began slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

Fjord opened his mouth to quip back, but a breathy chuckle escaped as she drug the feather down his chest. He twitched away, but she followed the movement, caressing the skin with soft plumes. He snorted when she moved down towards his ribs, throwing his head back when she sawed the feather in the spaces between the bones.

"Jehehes- plehehease!"

"Please what, Fjord? I'm not a mind reader, you know," he teased, sweeping the feather higher towards his armpit. He clamped his arm down with a loud bark of laughter, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Oh come ohon! D-don't behehe mehean!" he snickered as the feather traced his belly.

"Aw, don't you worry, I am being so nice right now."

"Thahahat's debahatable!" She gasped at his words, fluttering the feather a little faster. He shrieked before falling into a fit of giggles. He blushed and latched onto her wrists, but didn't bother pushing away.

He offered her five minutes of fun, and he was a man of his word.

And, well, maybe he was enjoying himself... just a little.

[brothersgrimmsnarl]

I love Stardew Valley. I live with a funky little shadow being who makes me food sometimes. We have two dogs and two cats. One of my three different colored chickens lays eggs that are made into a kind of mayonnaise humans can't eat but my roommate loves it and uses half as moisturizer. I brought the local doctor pickles for his birthday and took him to see a movie that he absolutely adored and I bought him sorbet as a movie snack and he loved it. This game is full of wonder and joy and beauty in the small things and next Halloween equivalent I'm going as a jester because the funny little mouse who set up a little shop in an old dilapidated house in the woods sold me a little jingly hat and the very spiritual lady who works down at the saloon told me I could use her sewing machine to make clothes. There's a dwarf who sells things in the entrance to the mines and they are my friend and I can understand them because the librarian/museum curator gave me a book that taught me dwarf language and also he gave me a big teddy bear and a geode that looks like a galaxy and a crystal that makes pretty bell tones when I hit it. There is a fruit that increases my stamina and all I had to do was give the sweetest fruit in the world that I grew myself to a statue in a hidden part of the woods. There is a bear who taught me the value of berries so now they're worth more when sold and that bear can use a phone somehow and called me just to double down on their thanks to me for bringing them maple syrup. I have two different farms and one is on a tropical island and the island's parrot population is coordinated enough to build things. My grandpa's ghost told me he is proud of me. There is a wizard who lives in the woods and sometimes he sends me jewels in the mail. I can see and understand little nature spirits and they help me harvest my crops. I can speak to fish.