#jeremy is my take on him after reading tsc

[mavilez]

here are the two of them together ☀

jean / jeremy

[afurtivecake]

I didn't really care much for Jean when I read the original trilogy the first time because I, like Neil, was very much just cycling the thoughts, "But what about the rest of the season's games?" and "what's the deal the with Andrew?" Reading TRK the second time after reading TSC, I just want to pat Jean on the head.

It's so endearing to see that Jean has always been obvious as fuck when he's attracted to someone. No chill whatsoever. It's more obvious in TSC when he just freezes and his brain empties of all coherent thought. (like when he interrupts his own angry tirade to simply comment "Blond" at the sight of Jeremy). I hadn't noticed that he just forgets to keep shaking Andrew's hand in an intimidating fashion at the sight of Renee.

It's a bit confusing here what exactly Neil noticed about Riko but with TSC knowledge, it's clear that Neil noticed Riko noticing Jean's reaction to Renee because he's been so focused on keeping an eye on Riko. And it implies that Jean realized as quickly as Neil that Riko had seen him looking. In TSC, Jean can't stop himself from looking, but he's also mortally afraid of being seen looking. There's a line in TSC: "Jean knew better than to look at another man too long. He'd learned that lesson the hard way and would not survive a repeat". So he's definitely gotten into trouble for being caught looking before and this exchange in TRK suggests that the person who gave him trouble for it was Riko.

(I mean, my theory has always been that the reason Riko set the backliners on him as torment is that he caught Jean checking out Kevin in that obvious way of his and didn't like it. Why else would Riko not tell Kevin the whole truth about that incident?)

And then this bit at the winter banquet when Riko orders Jean to take Kevin and go? The line that he "held onto Kevin like his life depended on it" takes on a different tone because it's not that Jean's worried Kevin will go charging back unwisely; Jean's just scared. And holding onto Kevin like his life depends on it is not a bad summary of their entire relationship.

Like you know that Frenchman must have really SUFFERED because even Neil, who can't bother to give a shit about the majority of everyone he meets, can't help noticing how jumpy Jean is.

[jamiesshelves]

Parts of TSC I can't stop thinking about (after my first read)

Jean having a few minutes before Riko got to him and using it to text Renee a warning. NOT asking her to help him. But warning her. Probably to protect Kevin and Neil more than himself.

Jean viewing himself as a captive with Wymack and Abby

Jean calling Neil Nathaniel until that sudden switch (just like when Neil thought of himself as Nathaniel)

Jean being the same age as Neil, so one of the youngest characters we know

Jean worshipping Thea and her calling him Paris

Jean throwing out Andrew's candy

Jean roasting Aaron for being unimportant even with a murder investigation going on

Renee giving Jean forehead kisses

"Right person, wrong time"

Jean taking Renee's picture and it being the only picture he has

The way the world perceives Riko as a martyr after his death

The way the world brushes aside that he almost killed Neil on live TV

"The only one close enough was andrew"

Jean reaching towards the TV as if he could save Neil and wanting him and Andrew to run

Jeremy being brunette through the events of TFC

The Trojans being okay with their plan for the foxes game because they knew they'd lose to the ravens eventually anyway

Jeremy living at home and having an estranged family situation

Jeremy having a butler he loves and trusts more than his family

BarkBark

Jean's promise to Kevin

Jean calling Kevin a "beautiful boy"

Both Jean and Jeremy trusting Kevin whole heartedly

Kevin giving truths about the nest to Jeremy

Kevin admitting to sticking to Andrew like glue because he didn't know how to be by himself after the nest

The coaches concern as they realize the way raven coaches treated Jean

The rumors about Jean and that Neil never thought of them

Jean being confirmed a bi king and simping over everyone except canon beautiful Neil

Jean probably not simping after Neil because he's the partner that could've been, aka a brother/safe space he never got

Jean not realizing why top surgery scars, and his abuse scars, would be seen differently

Jean not understanding why Trojans can pick their own clothes, food, majors, etc

Andrew letting Neil go to the FBI in California without him because he trusts his runaway to come back

Neil's immediate response to hearing about Greyson is hiring a hitman

Neil sassing the FBI

"I guess Drake wasn't a biter"

Neil telling Jean he can lock his door if it makes him feel safe but he doesn't have to worry anymore

Cat wanting to teach Jean to ride a motorcycle

"Kevin has earned the right to be"

Jean being afraid to ever teach anyone French again

Jeremy hiding from the police

Elodie

"That's putting it mildly." WHAT THE FUCK STUART.

Jean's list.

Jean still texting Renee

The reason the Trojans stay so positive

"I'm not safe with you anymore"

The parallels between Jean and Neil

Jean thinking he never got anything he didn't deserve

Jean only having a carry on bag like Neil

Wymack giving Jean money and his note

The Trojans giving Jean forehead kisses

Jeremy being into Jean but wanting to allow Jean to be able to heal first

Honestly more but this is enough for now lol

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

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“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

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do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

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oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

-

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

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It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

-

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

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“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

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Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

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betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

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“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

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“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

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“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

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“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

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“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

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CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

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They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

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“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

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ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

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‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

-

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

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Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

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Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

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SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

-

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

-

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

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kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

-

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

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She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

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Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

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“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

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i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

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“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

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JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

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jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

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So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

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Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

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SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

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You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

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no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

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um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

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Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

-

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

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nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

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i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

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jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

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“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

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Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

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Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

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YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

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Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

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The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

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“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

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“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

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He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

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Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

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“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

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ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

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“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

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“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

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i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

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jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

My aftg song list, if you're feeling brave

or if you want to read my interpretations, for which slightly less bravery is required

Neil

'Come on mess me up' - Cub Sport

A major chapter in the singer's coming out story (leading to eventually marrying his bandmate!) - it's about wanting something (success) so badly that you're not merely willing to sacrifice yourself for it, you’re actively rushing onto the blade…

'Nothingman' - Pearl Jam

For the lonely Millport nights.

'Just one fix' - Ministry

Never trust a junkie...

Yes I know Neil doesn’t like to listen to loud music, but it’s not always about what Neil likes.

'Furr' - Blitzen Trapper

"... and now my fur has turned to skin... and I've been quickly ushered in... to a world I must confess I do not know... "

Neil our wild boy.

Andrew

'I’ll still destroy you' - The National

Because he would.

'I let love in' - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Because he did.

'Bottom' - Tool feat. Henry Rollins

Because.

Sometimes I wonder if the M_y_ard name, the small size and the bad childhood is coincidence.

I already gave him this one.

Wymack

'How to make gravy' - Paul Kelly

*cries into keyboard*

Kevin

'Holy grail' - Hunters and Collectors

I hope you find your grail, dear Galahad, whatever the hell you think it is.

Riko

'Cardigan' [Taylor Swift cover] - Something for Kate

Riko to Kevin, for the Peter and Wendy line.

'Farewell, Mona Lisa' - the Dillinger Escape Plan

If it's in 4/4 time, it isn't real anger.

The maelstrom that is '43% burnt' probably sounds more like the inside of Riko's head, but these lyrics are a closer fit and there's no way you'll last more than 15 seconds of the audio. Also Riko is unworthy of Pennie's genius so he gets relegated to their third best drummer.

In terms of what he'd actually listen to, Riko is 100% streaming Jay-Z with a hoodie pulled over his head, tapping his hands and trying to be gangsta, a would-be boxer perpetually hearing his own walk-out theme song.

Except he he's got no rhythm so he looks exactly like Kendall Roy. (Don’t lie to me Moriyama. I’ve seen you do this.)

Jean

'Bloom' - The Paper Kites

I think Jean feels closest to people when they are physically close and not speaking... he needs those pools of quiet like a dying man needs an oasis. Also it's just a really pretty song. (See, I don't only like earshredding mathcore.)

'Heart out first' - Kyle Lionhart

To Kevin I guess.

'Freedom' by Rage Against The Machine

I maintain my conviction that Jean is a warrior, but what kind of a warrior? Does he take after his misplaced partner enough to be a rebel?

Jeremy

'The outsider' - A Perfect Circle

This song is about a loving but clueless jock trying to help his mentally ill brother by telling him to 'walk it off'.

Dedicated to my first time reading tsc, when I got a bit of a toxic positivity vibe from Jeremy - obviously not in the same way as this song, but in the sense of just being on a whole other planet compared to what Jean was experiencing and not understanding that it doesn't always help to be pushy. The second reading, not so much, his responses felt more understandable.

'Groceries' - Mallrat

Sorry about the cuteness overload. From Jere to Jean with added cuteness on top.

'Pick you up' - Powderfinger

In the hope Jeremy is legendary enough to live up to this legendary song.

Aaron

'Comfortably numb' (live version) - Pink Floyd

Duh.

Renee

'Mace spray' - The Jezabels

Pretty much anything by the jezzies really. Girl power x queer x pure beauty.

Zane

'Jesus Christ pose' - Soundgarden

Make of it what you will. Even I don't know what I mean. I just know this feels right.

If you're interested and maybe want to find new stuff this is my general playlist of faves (not that i use spotify tbh)

[kevinsdsy]

Please do let me know if this isn't allowed but when I read TSC, i thought so much about the scene of Jeremy telling Jean he was hurting him doing the wrist thing that it made me think of a scene like this, sorry (if it's out of character and cringe):

The feeling blooming from Jean's heart was one he had familiarized himself with since youth. It was instilled into his veins like platelets and ruled his every thought thinking and regretting the choices that lead up to taking the decision that would later haunt his dreams. And yet, bile rose to his throat in the company of that guilt as he watched Jeremy's lip quiver. Healing was not a narrow path, nor was it a smooth one. He knew, he couldn't not know. He hoped he'd made progress, and he had but every set back planted doubt.

This, this wasn't just doubt. He feared, not for the first time losing something he wanted to keep. He hadn't meant to hit a nerve, throw water to the live wire. Jeremy was trying to keep it together but it was clear Jean's words pierced an artery that made his composure bleed. Cat and Laila weren't home to play mediators. Cat couldn't whisk Jean away to converse with him as they planned and prepped a meal for the next day. Laila couldn't hold Jeremy and soothe him until they were ready to see each other again. They could only stand face to face with Jeremy's tears brimming the water line of his usually bright eyes now shining with the kitchen light reflecting from the glossy sheen Jean knew was a last ditch effort to not make him feel worse.

Jeremy's hands shook next to his thighs, Jean had half a mind to reach for them and hold them. He wasn't allowed to. He hurt Jeremy, it had been unintentional but it happened. Mistakes often do. But Jean didn't take mistakes well, never has and possibly never will if every time he made one it would cost him his progress. "You hurt me." Jeremy said after a deep, shaky breath. "I know, you didn't mean to." His eyes closed, forcing out the tears he had managed to keep back. Jean remained still, even with the urge to hide away in his room until it blew over. To not face such a reaction from Jeremy, he could never see it again.

It would kill him.

"I know..you didn't mean it." Jean's eyebrows furrowed, watching the way Jeremy's eyelids slowly raised to reveal his eyes once more. They search Jean's face with patience, hoping to hear what he needed from the backliner. Yet Jean's throat closed up. Perhaps he didn't want to face the fact he'd caused it, knows deeply ingrained into his mind that it was his fault but refusing to take responsibility for it. A meaner part of him thinking Jeremy was over reacting but even then he knew he was trying to justify himself.

That's why, with a twitch of his finger, he reached for Jeremy's hand. When the blond allowed him to hold it, he focused on it. On the scars from Exy matches littering his skin where they had healed a white contrast. Small things compared to Jean's intentional mistreatment. He held it tight, focusing on it as he said, in the most sincere voice he could;

"Forgive me, Jeremy."

thank you for reading and answering :)

STOPP NOT U COMING TO MY INBOX TO MAKE ME CRY THIS IS SO GOOD, whenever i think about jean’s inner monologue struggling with himself i fall to the grown in desperation like 😭

THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US ANON ILY 🫶🏼

[mollyolikeme]

Thoughts as I read TSC: A Stream of Conciousness Part Two!

Filthy Spoils!

classic kevin.

LOL keep saying i see how much you bench as if thats an indicator of someones ability to kickass

HA! i always forget about the sixteen hour days shit, i cannot, i find it too fucking funny it's fucking impossible. mfs would be DECEASED. like DEAD.

they are so hardcore this fantastical has me CACKLING every time

like a ken doll!

BLONDE.

ill advised thoughts....

uh oh jean, your crazy is showing.

goddamn. to hate but need. complicated and absolutely screwed up relationship dynamics are fascinating.

okay, i like to rag on our beloved kevin (because its fun and easy) but like props where props are due. i know we didn't get to see his transition from raven to fox but i honestly think the boy would have handled it a lot better than jean jean morose over here. boy isssssss messed up.

foreshadowwwwww SWIM SHORTS!

dangerously low? dangerous for who jean?

do not be slut shaming, lucas. thats fucking gross of you and i'm not even gonna mention the nonconsensual factor...........

oh. my. word. its not funny but i feel the morbid sense to laugh at the ravens dropping like flies.

bad therapist. you cant force it. where is Dobson?

OMG LOL i summoned her!

dont you worry about kevin babe, the foxes got him

thats two hands on chin! thats two!

he's got a big dick! lololololololol boys not tryna be gayyyy

oh the heat! the HEAT! yes jeremyyyyyyyy

fear of water.

what happens when he losses his grip......i want to see you lose control......... hi familiar phrasing and trauma, i ADORE you.

in my head, jean has a very french tsk of his tongue reaction to almost everything people do around him.

yesssss the foxes ARE synchronized.

you tell him jeremy! none of his raven intentionally injuring people bullshit

omg were gonna get a little kevin trip to cali! reunion of the abused buds! (again gotta take the morbid hilarity into account for my health)

LOL wheel throwing! Patrick Swayze where are you?!

not the self flagellating notebooks he kept.....

oooooo intense. it all comes to the surface. the truth will always come out.

this is clever, gives just enough info about the ravens without explaining the crime side of things. go nora.

okay damn lucas.... issues buddy. dont be comin after jean jean. you'll regret it.

chin grab number 3! this time by jeremy 🤩

omg cuuuuuuuute little motorcycle ride and seashell gifty

again. uh oh jean. your crazy is showing to the coaches now. this truth is really spilling out the cracks

pause.......... guys my sanity........ my INsanity upon reading this........... im losin it! ......... okay resume.

morbid laughing morbid laughing morbid laughing fuck fuck fuck

yo. to somehow make me feel like neilio's story is a positive tale................

wow lucas. doubling down are we. his character does have a very difficult truth to come to terms with. its fuckin rough and a hella interesting arc.

you should call dobsonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

OH SHIT! neil's here! Thats not good news for you jean!

fy faen neil. you're kind of a gangster babe!

oh. dead sister. so sad. (typing it out like that looks sarcastic. It's not.)

yaaaaasssss thats the smart mouth we know and love! telling an agent he parked illegally!!! ahhhhh lolololololoolol

OMG Neil!!!! sweetheart! you care so much! awwwwwwwww wow nora seriously, what. a. treat! he cares about his buddy jean.

jeremy...... you got it so bad hun. always with the 'what do you need?' like just promise yourself to him forever and ever.

CHIN!!!!!!!!!! FOUR TIMES NOW.

woah Jer.

i like that jean actually doesn't like exy. such a good contrast to neils pov obsession.

im curious where this whole 'its not freedom its a pretty cage' thing is gonna go. like, yea i dont think you'll ever be 'free' free jean. but honestly this is pretty damn close. professional athletes lives are very straight forward. and if youre that good, fuckin easy.

[simonsrosebud]

TSC FIRST REACTIONS (SPOILERS)

i have many more but my brain is mush rn

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jean watching the championship game was heart racing bc WE all know what happens at the end. his reaction to riko’s death is… the detached description of it is so fitting because he barely remembers it himself, he was so disassociated

the fact that his first knee jerk reaction to fear and panic is to claw at his neck until it bleeds is so interesting bc hello that takes strength and PAIN to dig that deep, i don’t understand it even after finishing the book but hoping i get more clarity on my second read.

jeremy and kevin’s relationship is very trusting, i think more than we thought. not the fangirl of each other that we joke about.

jean taking the picture of renee pls shoot me

jeremy’s rage and grief when he finally starts getting a bigger scope of everything jean lived through is a LOT. i wanna scream at jean to just LET HIM IN even knowing he won’t

the in depth explanations of the 16 hour days and all these other little evermore facts that we’re learning and have wanted to know for YEARS… yikes

jeremy calling kevin with no warning asking “did riko break ur hand?” SO BOLD

jeans notebooks crush my soul so hard it’s heartbreaking. and his trinkets😭

“Jean was exactly the kind of guy Jeremy was prone to trip himself up over” OH MY GOD?? there’s a difference between me wanting jerejean vs them actually being attracted to one another.

jeremy is a golden retriever confirmed. “This is Barkbark von Barkenstein. You can call him Barkbark or Mister B for short. It's a bit of a mouthful on its own.”

BLOND JEREMY YAS

jeans reaction to blond jeremy. fully took this man out of orbit.

although he hasn’t confirmed fully, jean being gay (assumption) was almost surprising bc from what i remember from the EC i almost thought he’d lean more pansexual since the ravens kinda slept with whoever (not that he seems like the type to use labels anyway)

“Kevin's words mocked him in the back of his thoughts: ‘Some of them you like.’ Jean cut off that line of thinking so fast he felt dizzy. It didn't matter that Jeremy Knox was annoyingly easy to look at; Jean knew better than to look at another man too long.” SCREAMING?? WAS JEAN THE ONE W THE CRUSH ON JEREMY THIS WHOLE TIME WHILE KEVIN WAS JUST FRIENDS??

and now my chest hurts bc “He was years away, watching a different beautiful boy lean in close to say, Will you teach me when he's not watching? It could be our secret.

Jeremy Cat and Laila seeing the notebooks broke me a little, the accidental invasion hurt

the ravens dropping like flies…

“he hadn’t missed the way Jean’s gaze tracked him when he readied for bed. Since Jean was quick to look away when he was caught, Jeremy had promised himself he wouldn’t ask. This was too good an opening to pass up, though, so he finally said, “More exclusively than you do, I think. Does that bother you?” AHHHHHHHH WOAHHHHHH i threw my phone (also can’t tell if jean looks at cat/laila the way jeremy assumed in that paragraph or if it’s just curiosity, cause it always seems like it’s just curiosity not attraction

Grayson. think we all saw smth like that coming from jeans time in the nest but holy shit

Neil showing up WOAH. i knew his FBI business wouldn’t be over in one day but i didn’t rlly expect that, although it makes sense

im still not over jeremy actually being gay its a dream come true that we all saw and hoped for but still

[ganseybois]

jean moreau’s thirty reasons to stay alive (cause I'm having feelings about my old fic and tsc)

he is gone

sunrises

jeremy reading to me

caramilk chocolate

the feel of the sun

dogs

i am reading books again

riko cant touch me anymore

jeremy when he tries to speak french

i have not gotten any injuries that are not related to exy in a year

pumpkin spice lattes

trojan team

kevin day and i are slowly becoming friends once more

renee calls every three days

i have come to realize i like the smell of lilies. my dorm with jeremy is filled with them now. he took it a little out of hand. i smiled.

i still cannot go anywhere alone but jeremy always comes with me. he says it will get easier. i find myself believing him. 

every day is hard but i am breathing and thats enough of a reason

graduation

jeremy asking to hold my hand

yes means yes now, and no means no 

the trojans taking camping trips so we could see the stars

baths after practice

when i sprained my hand, jeremy allowed me to sit out the next day to heal

i get to heal

i cant stop looking at jeremys smile

i am not number three anymore. it is just a number. i am more than a number. the trojans know that.

jeremy talking in his sleep

kevin and i have been talking regularly, and he is happy. that is a good reason.

game nights with the Trojans

Then, written over and over again, the words spiralling over each other until they were darkened so much it looked like bold print, was the final line:

   30. him.  jeremy knox. jeremy knox. jeremy knox. 

[jeanmoreaux]

literally yes to all i could not fall asleep either 😭

i think what's so bRILLIANT about tsc (besides, like, everything) is that nora seemed really nervous that her vision for the story and characters would get swallowed by the HCs the fans have been cooking for years, and while that still could happen in book 2, i felt like while i was reading it her vision was my vision - like i am positive we as fans have influenced her story and maybe jerejean won't turn into anything (i'll eat my arm fr) but that bitch at the very least was like "okay sure fine i'll give you mutual attraction" "i'll give you jerejean friendship and intimacy even if i may not give you sex or romance (just yet)"

and i think the other thing i was so overjoyed about was that even though the og AFTG is definitely (clearly) very queer, nora really stepped up and took it to a whole new level in this one with both the representation and just the overall tone - that like not only are a lot (all????) of the trojans open and together and so incredibly gay, but they're shaping the story and jean and making it less shameful to be gay in exy. like og aftg spent a lot of time being like "don't be gay! this is bad! you can't do this!" and while jean still harbors that (for his own fucked up reasons i'm gonna kms) it's obvious that the tone for this book is so much brighter and gayer.

and! the parallels between neil's story and jean's!!! like obviously we could write essays on that topic alone but in conjunction with that point i just made - seeing the similarities between the house taking in jean and the foxes taking in neil (his lack of possessions, their protectiveness, their attempts to normalize him, their creation of a safe space for him) literally made me want to gouge my eyes out it was so beautiful and sweet and fun and QUEER. like aftg always had aroace undertones and such a huge part of the aro/ace experience is friendship and queer friendship at that and so to get to see this kind of found family play out AGAIN but in a slightly different way with a whole group of gays who are out and proud and happy is just......everything

like it's not that i was *worried* persay because i do trust nora but you never know what you're gonna get with spin-off sequels and this fandom is like a rabid dog and so for her to bravely return to this world after years is amazing in itself but to do it in a way that is.......dare i say.......almost......better than the original.......it blows my mind. and it makes me appreciate the original series in new ways now that we'll have more info on the ravens and all of their bullshit. like i literally am sitting here being like....so....series reread tn queen????

if i wasn't insane before (i was) then i sure as hell am now

~

also. can we talk about jeremy's cheesy af dialogue that makes me squeal? thinking about him saying hecka with his full chest....i love that man

holding hands 🤝✨ felt alive yet so dead once i was done.

also what a glorious ask. i can co-sign all of this and i don’t think i have anything to say that adds value to your points. you’re so right.

nora is so brave for letting us back into that world. because as much as i love and adore this fandom’s passion, it can be intense is a quite negative way at times. so yes, nothing but respect for nora coming back and giving us Her version of the story. the small nods to us (blond jeremy, frosted tips, the cardboard dog etc.) were so very endearing. and i don’t want her to betray her integrity just for the sake of fanservice. i trust her to deliver a great story, even when some of the things i might want to happen will not end up being anything (e.g. jerejean). nora’s vision will feel right because whatever she decides to do and wherever she decides to take this story i know will make sense. it’s very funny to me that you mentioned how you think tsc might be better than the original because i had the same thought. i am hesitant to really settle on it one way or the other yet; mainly because i tend to get very excited about new, shiny things, but also because we don’t have book 2 yet and i think to really Know i have to consider the story as a whole. but you can definitely see that nora improved as a writer in general (which ofc makes sense.)

i fear this will remain THEE aftg year for me. i am already tempted to reread. i don’t think i’ll know a moment of peace from this story in the foreseeable future but i am not gonna complain i’ll just lean into it and indulge.

~

godddd i expected to love jeremy but i didn’t expect to fall for him this hard. several time i caught myself studying his way of engaging with people and made some mental notes. he’s so special to me. i think once we get his backstory it will get even worse. and he does offer a very different perspective and attitude that’s so very refreshing while still being in tune with what we are used to.

[wonkyjaw]

Some TSC things I can’t stop thinking about that I haven’t seen mentioned yet:

Jean (and likely Riko) had no idea the Foxes knew as much as they did… and Jean already thought the Foxes were crazy for keeping Kevin and Neil.

Dealing with Neil over Christmas Break was a “salve for Jean’s sanity” despite how hard Neil made things for them by fighting back and despite having “a longer leash” than Kevin was ever afforded. Despite Zane’s reaction to Neil’s reappearance.

The fact that Kevin knew just from Jean's reaction to him mentioning Neil didn't sign the Raven contract that he and Riko had waterboarded Neil. Like… the implications of that????

Subpoint: Does Neil even realize that’s what happened or has he fully blocked it out??

I can’t tell if I’m just getting older or if Jeremy and Jean’s view of Wymack makes him that much more… compelling.

Jeremy’s POV during the Foxes v Trojans game. The way the Foxes picked Trojans back up so casually endearing them to Jeremy. Just that when they weren’t fighting for their lives, Foxes had time to spare energy on just being kind in a way no one had cared to see before but it’s important to Jeremy. Ugh.

Jeremy used the phrase “duty-bound” more than once to describe things he didn’t want to necessarily do. What the fuck is up with that?

Also, sir, why is your rich white ass hiding from cops. I would like the tea, please.

Renee’s rediscovered simple delights being “butterflies, fresh baked bread, the crunch of leaves on an autumn morning.” And then Jean taking that idea up and consistently listing his own simple delights as he discovered them (it might kill me yet).

“Her love was so tender it looked like grief” (I am going feral what the fuck)

Bee getting Jean to talk to her by pretending to know less than nothing about Exy and after Jean goes off about it she explains she did it because she was curious if he cared enough to explain it to her. That she wasn’t sure if they were at the court for comfort or contrition and the fact that she specifically used the word contrition…

Also the fact that she likely brought up with the goals look like because everyone seems to be under the impression that the goal has a net for some reason? I’ve read so much fanfic, the goal always gets described a hundred different ways, part of me feels like this was Nora’s way of saying “no you’re wrong!” And I laughed really hard when I read it.

Also also, I would kill to know what all Bee knows.

After the Raven game Jean made a list of every time Kevin and Neil got bullied by the Raven backliners and by the end had four full pages of scathing remarks about it. I’m not sure what to read into that, but it has not left my mind since I read it.

All of the background noise when Renee calls Jean and tells him not to watch the news. Glass breaking and yelling, a scene I’ve always wanted was Neil telling (or not) the rest of the Foxes about Riki’s death. So these little insights are so tantalizing. Wait, dear god, is it in the EC?

Jeremy’s conversation with his sister??? How a new scandal was overdue because he should end the way he started??? Neil didn’t give a shit about the Trojans and Jeremy refuses to think about it so now I’m desperate to know what the fuck that meant. Along with the comment about a fall banquet tearing his family apart????

The fact that every time Jean refers to Neil/Kevin/Andrew/Nicky’s room in Fox Tower it is always always just Neil’s room. It’s so funny to me.

Renee gave Jean her cross 😭

Wymack flew with Jean to California only to fly directly back to South Carolina. Jean referred to Wymack as unreal and I so fully agree.

Jeremy’s yo-yo.

The random “fan” calling Jean “Gene Moore” making me realize that there’s a large amount of people who would not know how to pronounce his name and how insufferable that’s going to end up being when he’s forced to handle the media and public more often.

Jean just casually grabbing Jeremy by the chin… more than once.

“You are not them.” Vs. “I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”

“I’m fine.” Vs. “Accidents happen in scrimmages.”

“Don’t I at least deserve the chance to not be a villain in your story?”

Jean breaking a glass when Cat mentions Laila was going to get him a sex toy. Jeremy making it to the kitchen in record time.

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner.” Vs. “You’re Neil Josten. You’re starting striker for the Palmetto State Foxes. Your father is dead. You are safe.”

[chronic-optimistt]

I’m taking my turn because the world revolves around me

Neil (fave character of all time I love him like a limb)(anybody who doesn’t have Neil in their top three is on my hit list whoops sorry)

Andrew (I know andriel as top2 is basic but it’s CORRECT)

Allison

Matt

Aaron (as an asshole myself I have an attachment)

Dan

Wymack

Kevin

Bee (op sleep with one eye open)

Nicky

Renee

Abby

Katelyn

Jean

Jeremy

Thea

Seth

Tbh my downfall is that I’ve never read a jerejean fic and don’t really have any interest in their ship at all but after tsc they’ll probably be higher so

My pre-TSC ranking of AFTG characters that absolutely no one asked for! (Share yours, I'm a nosy bitch and wanna know hehe)

Kevin

Jean

Neil

Matt

Jeremy

Wymack

Andrew/Renee

Aaron

Nicky

Allison

Dan

Thea

Abby

Katelyn (She is cute and I love her tho)

Seth is somewhere here I guess

Bee (I just don't really care for her)

I like most characters and there really isn't any I hate tho lmao but also, I'm very bold posting this list when Neil and Andrew aren't number 1 and 2, I'm sorry aftg fandom, do not come for my dog.

Kevin will always be my number one babygirl. For Jean and Jeremy, it's mostly a mix of canon and fanon, so I expect Jeremy's place to probably go higher. Jean literally cannot go any higher (though depending on TSC he might reach Kevin levels 👀)

[afurtivecake]

also what other aftg drafts do you have?

(alas i am still not done the fic because i've been waylaid by a migraine. But i'll answer anyway because this has actually cheered me up greatly :))

.....that's er.....haha...that's a harder question to answer. there are so many half-cocked drafts floating around... hang on...

-there's a jean/andrew one (technically jean/andrew/neil? idk. it's andrew seeing jean pine after jeremy and taking on jean as his next fix-it project in the only way he knows how: clubbing and forcing people to face their issues head-on. andrew's like, yea no more strays but issues with sexuality and intimacy? i know how to solve that- neil, hold my beer. and neil's just there because he's supportive but mostly because he can't be pried apart from andrew with a crowbar)

-and then because apparently i just like making jean suffer, there's a kevin/jean/riko one (where riko notices jean make eyes at kevin and notices that kevin seems a bit interested. and because riko is a good brother who isn't jealous at all, he decides to be magnanimous and gift kevin what he wants. yea this one's fucked up and trashy and it exists because i happen to like the idea of stories where everyone is so violently repressed that getting laid only makes things worse.)

there are a few other half-baked ideas that are mostly just vibes at this point (andreil non-exy au where andrew works at eden's and kills people vigilante style, jerejean vampire mafia au in which the moriyamas keep vampires as pets/servants to do their dirty work)

(sorry, i started most of these around the time i read tsc and it's clear now in hindsight that my entire thought process had been just, "PUT THAT FRENCHMAN INTO SITUATIONS. FUCK HIM UP. MAKE HIM SUFFER. TORTURE H--)