#jegulus raising reader

[themanfromeire]

Wolfstar's!Child - Mama Raised a Little Bitch

Parents!Sirius Black & Remus Lupin x Teenager!Reader (ft. Jegulily)

Reader's gender and Hogwarts house is unspecified

This is my first work of the series - if you have any suggestions or requests, let me know!

~~~

Fucked was not a strong enough word to describe how totally and utterly screwed you were now.

When you had first gotten your Hogwarts letter, your uncle Regulus had fallen to his knees (metaphorically) to beg you not to be like James, or your papa Sirius. Remus had joined in too, with both of them citing that ‘Sirius and James were bad enough’ as their justification.

With a promise you had intended to adhere to, you departed to Hogwarts. 

In your defence, you believed you would never even come close to breaking it - you had been going strong for four years now, dedicating yourself to academia instead of continuing the Marauders’ legacy, much to the horror of your godfather and papa.

They had made a big deal about ‘disowning you’, opting to name Fred and George Weasley as their heirs, who were more than happy to accept. You believed it to be a joke. For the most part.

However, now there was a blot on your record - a spill of crimson Chardonnet on a white bedsheet if you will.

A blot that came in the form of Hera O’Donnell.

With her snide remarks and condescending attitude, she strutted around Hogwarts like she were the headmaster herself - as a lioness scoured a savanna for a deer to sink its fangs in to, she paroused her peers, searching for the easiest one to prey upon.

You were her chosen doe. 

In her skewed vision, you wore shoes too big for you to fill - the weight of the Lupin-Black left you crushed by expectations and drowning in inadequacy, waves of failure washing over your head and coating the inside of your lungs with a thick layer of incompetence.

But your head remained firmly above water.

Despite her taunts and jibes being fruitless at first, Hera had hunted you down and separated you from your pack, and now, her teeth finally began to pierce your skin.

 Logically, you should have informed someone. You were not alone - your dad and papa were forever on your side, along with your godfather James, godmother Lily, Uncle Regulus and all of your aunts and uncles, composed of your parents’ Hogwarts friends.

But Hera awoke a different part of you. Something more spiteful. Something more primal.

Reporting it would not be as satisfying. As gratifying. But revenge would be.

If anyone asked you about what had happened to Hera O’Donnell, you would simply claim something along the lines of how ‘her appearance had improved with the addition of a skunk tail.’ It amused your peers, undeniably, but the staff not so much.

Even as your head of house sat you down and informed you of the consequences of transfiguring someone like that and the numerous procedures that Hera was undergoing at St. Mongo’s, having been transferred there for more specialist care, you could not find it in yourself to care. 

However, you absolutely did find it in yourself to care when a crimson envelope fell into your bowl of cereal the next morning. 

You had expected your parents to be informed of the incident, naturally. But a howler? That you had not. Staring at the envelope, Hera’s words swarmed your mind. What if your parents now saw you just as Hera had?

With a quiet sigh escaping your lips, and sympathetic glances from your friends, you opened the envelope, hoping to get it over sooner rather than later. The voice of Sirius Black erupted from the envelope, filling the entire Great Hall.

‘MON AMOUR I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! TRANSFIGURING SOMEO- Oi, Rem, get off! I’m jus-’

‘I TOLD YOU OUR KID WOULD BE A FUCKIN’ GOD AT TRANSFIGURATION!’ Came a proud voice of Remus Lupin, cutting your papa off. ‘LOOKS LIKE YOUR PAPA AND GODFATHER NEED TO REINSTATE YOU AS HEIR AFTER ALL, SWEETHEART!’

As Remus declared that, two very loud and audible sighs of disappointment left the lips of Fred and George. The howler continued, and the sound of a door being slammed open was heard before the voice of James Potter joined in the chorus.

‘WERE NONE OF YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT THEY TRANSFIGURED SOMEONE?!’ James cried out incredulously and overdramatically, however, he quickly forgot his dramatics in favour of the Marauders’ legacy.

‘NOW ALL YOU NEED TO DO, PRIY, IS TO BECOME ANIMAG-’ the sound of skin hitting skin rung out as Lily slapped a hand over James’ mouth to stop him from accidentally revealing that they were illegal animagi, despite the fact that they legally could register, but they all couldn’t be bothered. James and your papa said it was funnier this way.

‘Darling, as impressive as it is, please don’t transfigure anyone else,’ Lily chastised you gently. She had to at least give off the illusion that they were disciplining you, but you could hear the pride underlining her words and the smirk on her lips.

‘Now, I think it’s best we end this now, hm?’ came the still sophisticated voice of your uncle Reg. ‘Unless we want the entire Hogwarts populous to know James’ social security number.’ There was a chuckle from both the howler and the Hogwarts students at that remark.

‘I want you to know that I am proud of you. The family needed something a little more…Slytherin.’ Regulus remarked before the Howler burst into flames and tore itself up.

Silence filled the Great Hall as everyone took a moment to stare at you and process what had just happened. You looked up and your eyes caught Harry’s.

‘Good job,’ he mouthed at you, giving you a bright smile and a thumbs up from the Gryffindor table, beside a very peeved Fred and George.

Maybe you weren’t so alone or fucked after all.

[agreeeeeeeeeee]

Seducing A Scrooge | Jegulus

“Oh, my sweet girl. What has that madman done to you now?” Regulus cooed, crossing the room to you.

feat. poly!jegulus x reader

SUMMARY: Regulus is having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year, so you and James devise a plot to spread some holiday cheer.

CW: MDNI 18+, smut with zero plot, established relationship, being tied up with Christmas decorations, group sex, praise kink, mix of sweetness and rough-ish stuff, lots of spit swapping, switch!reg and softdom!james

divider by @issysh3ll

“Jamie, this might be overkill,” you mumbled through the ribbon between your teeth.

“Nonsense.” He stuck a present bow to the top of your head. “Unless your uncomfortable,” he amended, wiggling his fingers between the tinsel and your skin to ensure it wasn't wrapped to tightly around you.

You shook your head, your thighs clenching together when he adjusted your position by lifting you by your festive bondage.

“Ah, just impatient?” James teased, setting you a bit more upright against the headboard. He skimmed his cool fingers over his work, the tinsel and lights wrapped around your body in complicated twists and knots, digging into your soft flesh and leaving a dusting of glitter over your skin. “We'll unwrap you soon enough, love,” he hummed, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.

“How much longer will he be?” You whined, not in a hurry to be released, but already desperate for your lovers to touch you. James’ slow, deliberate ministrations while tying you up had set your body on fire, which he refused to quell before Regulus could play with you himself.

“Not much longer. Do you need anything while we wait?” He kissed down your neck, illuminated pink by the LED’s, featherlight and teasing. The tight ball of arousal in your stomach tightened further, your clit damn near aching clenched between your thighs.

You let out a soft whimper when he grazed his teeth over your pulse point. “An orgasm?” You ventured, and he chuckled against your skin.

“Sorry, darling. Watching you squirm is far too enjoyable to cut short.” He gave you one last peck on the cheek before rolling off the bed. He waved his wand to light the fireplace and start up some soft Christmas instrumentals on your muggle record player.

If Regulus heard “Jingle Bells” immediately upon entering the cabin, he'd turn straight around.

Your boyfriend, who was tempermental on a good day, seemed to have descended into full Scrooge this holiday season.

You and James had tried everything to infect him with the holiday spirit, from decorating your shared flat floor to ceiling in the gorgeous, vintage-holiday style he preferred, to going on romantic walks to see the lights, all bundled up in heavy coats and scarves. You'd even planned an elaborate date night to see the Nutcracker ballet, with coordinated outfits and a fancy dinner, but he was clearly only indulging your efforts, not actually enjoying the festivities himself.

So, you and James concocted a last ditch effort to raise his spirits, festive or otherwise. And now here you were, done up like a slutty Christmas tree.

Both of your ears perked at the sound of a bell chiming, enchanted to ring whenever one of the three of you arrived home.

James gave you a salacious grin. “Stay here,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before darting out to meet Regulus at the front door.

“Like I have a choice,” you grumbled yourself, shifting slightly and feeling the slick collecting between your legs.

“Welcome home, love,” James said, his voice warm and gentle, and you heard Regulus murmur something in response. Your muscles bunched with tension, and you bit down on the ribbon to stifle any sounds you might make.

“I should have known better than trying to go to the fucking shops two weeks before Christmas,” he grumbled, dropping his things on the dining room table. “Absolute insanity.”

“I can imagine,” James chuckled, and you could hear his arms wrap around Regulus, his coat crinkling against the taller boys chest. “Glad you're home,” James said softly, and your heart swelled.

After a few moments of quiet, you heard Regulus speak again. “Where's y/n? I bought her something.”

You sucked in a breath.

“A Christmas present?” James teased, and Regulus scoffed.

“No, just a regular present.” He rummaged through some bags, and withdrew something that sounded like clothing.

James gave a low whistle, and heat scorched your skin. “Oh, Reg. She'll love that,” he gushed.

“I thought so. Where is she? Over at Remus'?”

“Bedroom,” James replied, casual as could be.

The next second, James was opening the bedroom door and Regulus strode in, a gorgeous, red velvet dress in his hands. He froze when his eyes finally landed on you, widening a fraction before his beautiful face split into a wicked smirk.

“Oh, my sweet girl. What has that madman done to you now?” He cooed, laying the dress on the chair before crossing the room to you.

“It was her idea,” James chuckled, leaning against the doorway.

“Not entirely!” You mumbled around the ribbon, and Regulus’ smile widened.

Regulus’ fingers traced the tinsel over your thighs, over your soaked apex, and up to catch your chin, tilting your face towards him. “This true, darling? Did you two conspire against me?”

Your eyes widened, fixed on his dilating pupils, blackness overtaking the soft green irises. There was something about Regulus that never failed to make your brain shut off, and you found yourself struggling to formulate a response.

“Well, what a lovely little pair of trickster elves you are.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against yours, more a caress than a kiss, leaving your skin tingling in his wake. “And what a pretty Christmas decoration you make.” Regulus pulled back, admiring James’ work, and the way your curves strained against it.

“She was so good while I tied her up. Barely moved a muscle,” James praised, easing himself onto the bed beside you and running hand over your thigh, the muscles jumping at his delicate touch.

Your pussy was practically thrumming with anticipation, their words only amplifying your needy state.

“That so?” Regulus removed his shoes and coat, revealing the tight, black turtleneck and expensive jeans underneath.

You nodded, trying hard not to squirm as James started kneading your flesh with his big hands, slowly inching closer to your center.

“Although,” James hummed, his hand pausing. You held back a strangled whine, your hips flinching closer to his fingers. “She did start to get a little impatient towards the end. Even asked me to get her off before you got home.”

You glared daggers at James, earning a sly smirk.

Regulus tsked. “Jamie, be a dear and hold her still for me.”

Without another word, James stripped his clothing, revealing his tanned, muscular torso and matching cock, already at attention, before climbing into bed. He arranged you both so he was sitting behind you, your head leaned against his chest. His hands settled on your hips, squeezing gently in reassurance as Regulus approached.

“Did James tying you up make you that desperate?” He asked, and you nodded, your heart racing. “You like being at our mercy? Ours to treat however we please?” He dragged the tips of his fingers over your skin, making you shiver against James and forget your words.

“Yes or no, lovey,” James encouraged, his lips against the shell of your ear.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“Undo her legs,” Regulus ordered.

Excitement washed through you, and James was quick to literally tear the tinsel off of you, throwing it onto the floor beside the bed while Regulus carefully unwound the lights. Then James tucked his hands under your knees, pulling your legs apart and back towards him, exposing your sodden cunt to the warm air of the room, and the sticky mess you made along your inner thighs.

The stretch felt exquisite after an hour of being locked in place, and a soft moan spilled from your lips.

“Seems our little love really likes to be tied up,” Regulus mused, kneeling on the edge of the bed and shirking his sweater. “Drooling all over my expensive duvet,” he chastised, though his words dripped with approval.

“To be fair, I didn't make it easy on her,” James said, pressing affectionate kisses along your shoulder and neck.

“I'm sure you didn't. You're as insatiable as she is.”

James chuckled, the rumble making your tits bounce, and Regulus’ eyes darkened further. James caught his expression and dragged his hands up your body, cupping your tits, framed by a harness of lights, in his long fingers.

“So fucking pretty,” he hummed, grazing his thumbs over the hardened peaks, making your back bow as pleasure zapped through you.

“Like a piece of art,” Regulus added, lowering his face between your legs, his black curls tickling your thighs.

You fought against the ribbon in your mouth, attempting to dislodge it. James hooked a finger into the knot and unraveled it, freeing you instantly.

“Please, Reggie, please, please touch me,” you whined, knowing how much he loved to hear you beg.

“What do you think, Jamie?” Regulus asked, dragging the tip of his nose along your sensitive skin, breathing you in.

“I think she might combust if you don't,” James snickered, pinching and rolling one of your nipples between his thumb and pointer finger. You arched off of him, cursing under your breath as your pussy throbbed.

“Well, we can't have that,” Regulus hummed, his breath ghosting over your slick lips before his tongue laved through you, turning your thoughts to static.

He licked up and down your pussy, skirting around your clit in a wide arc. You melted onto James' embrace, his fingers plucking at your nipples while he mouthed at your throat, sucking marks across your skin.

“Reggie,” you whined, your fingers itching to thread through his hair, to reach back and hold James, but unable to do anything it grip the tinsel that binds them.

You felt Regulus smile against you, and he finally sealed his lips to your clit, nursing softly. You nearly come undone then and there, lifting off James with a cry as sparks flash behind your eyelids.

“So sensitive,” James said, snaking one of his arms around your waist to hold you in place. “He makin’ you feel good, lovey?”

“So f-fucking good,” you moaned, throwing your head back against James shoulder.

“You taste delicious, amour,” Regulus hummed, lapping at the pool of moisture collecting at your entrance. “Sweet as honey.” Regulus sat up briefly, catching James’ chin and kissing him, licking into his mouth. You watched their tongues dance, spit and your slick mixing in their sloppy exchange, James cock pulsing with excitement against your lower back.

Regulus pulled away after a few moments, a string of spit connecting their lips before he lowered himself back between your legs.

“C'mere.” James grabbed your jaw and angled your head towards him, capturing your lips in a simmering, languid kiss, the taste of you and Regulus lingering on his tongue. His licked at your lower lip, sucking it between his teeth to nibble on the tender flesh.

You moaned into his mouth, Regulus’ tongue doing something that made your brain short circuit, pushing you that much closer to your peak.

Regulus made a low hum in his throat. James broke the kiss to look down at him between your legs, his lips swollen and shiny with spit, eyes blown wide with affection.

“Gonna come for him, sweet thing? Shit—you’re trembling, love. Doing so good, Reggie.” James carded his fingers through Regulus' hair, and he leaned into his touch, practically purring with contentment against your sex.

It was so tender, so indulgent, you felt like you were glowing brighter than the Christmas lights, the most delicious heat spilling through you.

Regulus increased his tempo, so eager to make you come on his tongue while James held you together, soothing and loving on you both through the rising tide.

“Oh, god…f-fuck, m’gonna come. Yes, yes, yes!” You cried out as your orgasm rocked through you, electric pleasure frying your fragile nerves, making you twitch and convulse in James’ arms.

“Atta girl. Worth the wait, hm?" James praised, holding you tightly as your body shuddered through it, Regulus lapping up every drop he’d wrung from you, prolonging your release.

“Beautiful, amour,” Regulus purred when you finally settled, peppering kisses up your stomach to kiss you, his face damp from your release, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. He turned to kiss James, who dragged his tongue up Regulus' cheek to taste you.

“Switch with me,” James murmured to Regulus, sliding out from under you.

You trembled as you sat up, your body still recovering from that slow burn release, your muscles fatigued from the bondage. Regulus slipped behind you, quickly undoing the tinsel that held your arms so you could move a little more freely.

You moaned in relief as you sagged against him, stretching your arms overhead. He took one of your hands, massaging each finger gently before kissing your knuckles.

You nearly forgot about James, so fixated on Regulus’ attentive touch, until James lifted your hips, shifting you higher onto Regulus’ chest.

“Jamie, what are you—oh fuck,” Regulus loosed a strangled moan, and you felt his half-hard cock slap against your sensitive cunt, suddenly freed from his pants.

James shimmied Regulus’ jeans down his legs, tossing them aside before settling back between your thighs. Gingerly, you removed James’ glasses and set them on the end table before smoothing his curls out of his eyes.

Regulus wrapped his arms around you, one holding your hip, the other cradling your throat. Not applying pressure, just feeling your pulse, your breath, under his fingers. He kissed along your cheek, licking at the shell of your ear.

“You know how much you mean to me?” He murmured, skimming your jaw with his thumb so you looked at him.

“Enough that you'll tolerate our festive shenanigans?” You grinned, pecking his cheek.

“Even more than that,” he hummed, pressing a loose, light as air kiss to your lips. Suddenly, his hips jerked, his teeth nearly knocking into yours. “Fucking hell, Potter—” James’ name fractured into a low groan, and you felt James nose brush your sex as he took Regulus into his mouth.

“Oh-oh,” you moaned when James lifted off Regulus to lick up your slit, his tongue dragging between the two of you. He pressed Regulus’ shaft against your slit, rocking between your slick folds as he began thrusting against James’ mouth, the combined friction making your eyes cross.

“Merlin, so f-fucking good, babe. So wet and warm,” Regulus moaned into the side of your neck, his lips latching onto your skin and sucking.

You weren't sure who he was talking to, but both you and James preened at the approval, James emboldened in his efforts to feast on you both simultaneously.

If anyone could pull off such a sexual feat, it was James Fleamont Potter.

You tightened your grip on James’ hair and reached your other hand up to hold Regulus, sliding your fingers into the damp curls at his nape. The contact kept you grounded while James worked to send your body to the moon.

“I wish you two could see this,” James said after coming up for air, breathless and starry-eyed. “So fuckin’ hot seeing you both dripping.”

Regulus made a whimpering sound in his throat, his hips canting up with a little more insistence.

“Jamie, want him inside me,” you begged, rocking your hips in time with Regulus’ movements.

“Fuck, please, amour,” Regulus' added, and James gave a smug grin, his plan having come to perfect fruition.

It never failed to amaze you how quickly the always-cool Regulus Black would fall apart under your or James' touch. How quickly you could work his Royal Highness into brainless, desperate putty.

Not that you were in any position to talk, James was the only one of you who could keep a level head during sex. Which was why he often was the one to take the lead once you got into it.

You watched James grip Regulus’ cock, stroking him a few times. “Lift your hips, lovey,” he said, and Regulus lifted you for him, gripping your hips . James lined the two of you up, and with a nod, Regulus speared you slowly onto his length.

Your eyes rolled back in your head, his cockhead grazing every delicious inch of your channel before bumping against your cervix, the feeling of fullness wonderfully intense.

Regulus moaned, a string of mumbled french spilling from his lips as your pussy sucked him deeper, soft and pulsing around his rigidity.

“Such a good girl,” James praised, practically drooling from his front row seat. “Taking him so well.” He leaned forward, licking a stripe from Regulus' base to your clit, and you both cried out as a new height of pleasure crescendoed, clinging to one another. You felt Regulus’ cock throb inside of you, his body trembling with the effort of holding still.

“James—” Regulus hissed through his teeth when James did it again, torturing you both.

“Fine, fine. Can you blame me? Prettiest sight I've ever fucking seen,” he said, sitting up and holding his arms out to you. “Come here, darling. Let me help you.”

Regulus eased you up onto your knees and you wrapped your arms around James, his strong arms embracing your waist as you buried your face into his neck. He smelled of sex and his spruce body wash, so very James, and you melted onto his arms, knowing he could bear your weight with ease.

You felt James nod his head, hold tightening, and Regulus snapped his hips upwards, knocking the air from your lungs.

“Oh fuck!” You cried as Regulus pounded up into you, his cock ruthlessly filling you over and over again while James kept you steady. All the sweetness cast aside in desperation.

“Good girl, that's it. Just hold onto me and take it,” James purred, reaching one of his hands down to grope your ass, delivering a stinging slap to the jiggling fat.

“Feel so fucking good,” Regulus growled, his grip on your hips hard enough to bruise. “Petite putain d'allumeuse.”

“Jamie,” you whined, struggling to vocalize the thoughts spilling from your mind while Regulus used your cunt like his personal fleshlight.

“What, lovey?” He cooed, smoothing your hair from your face.

Your mouth hung open, beautifully pink and wet. Begging to be filled.

He grazed his thumb over your lip. “You want something to suck, precious?” He dipped his thumb into your mouth and you eagerly sucked it, eyes fluttering closed. “Ah, thought so.” He stared adoringly down at you, letting you nurse for a moment before removing his hand.

“Lean forward, love,” Regulus directed, his voice rough with exertion, and James stepped off the bed, letting you fall forward off of Regulus' cock. A low growl rumbled through Regulus' as he sat up behind you, his hands gripping your ass and spreading your cheeks. “Seven fucking saints, you're gorgeous.” He dragged his tongue through your sloppy cunt before straightening, lining up his cock once more before filling you back up, hitting a new, toe-curling angle deep inside of you.

“Mmph, Reggie,” you moaned, rocking back against his hips. “So b-big.”

Regulus grabbed the remaining restraints around your torso, forcing you up onto your hands, head forward where you were greeted by James’ pretty cock, flushed pink and dripping pearls. “Open, amour,” he ordered, but your jaw was already dropping, tongue out as you looked up at James through your lashes.

James spit on your tongue, slapping his cock head against it before easing himself into the wet warmth of your mouth. “Fuuuuuuck, love,” he groaned, head falling back on his shoulders as you started to suck him, Regulus’ thrusts forcing you further down James’ shaft. Regulus was manhandling you like a puppet, using the harness of tinsel to slide you up and down his cock.

You head completely emptied then, your body taking over as they fucked you from both ends, dominating every inch of you: mind, body, and soul. The pleasure was overwhelming, winding through every inch of you until it felt like you were cracking apart, your soul spilling out for them to take.

You heard them kissing above you, moaning and growling into each other's mouths like dueling animals, pummeling you between them.

You reached a hand between your legs, your clit begging for stimulation, and you began to rub tight circles over it, moaning around James’ length as your orgasm barreled closer.

“Close, hm?” Regulus purred in your ear, his front pressing against your back, and you nodded around James’ cock, gagging on a particularly deep thrust.

“Merlin, me too,” James groaned, fisting your hair as he fucked your face, sweat gleaming on his muscular chest, his dark hair a wild mess. “Gonna come down that hot little throat—fuck!”

A jet of cum blasted against your tonsils, his cock bucking against your tongue as his orgasm washed over him, his handsome face screwed up in ecstasy.

You greedily swallowed it all, sucking him until he was trembling and crying out, his body going limp as you overstimulated him.

“Your turn,” Regulus growled, speeding up his thrusts until you collapsed onto the bed, a screaming, shaking mess as he forced an orgasm out of you, the brutality of it knocking your soul from your body, splitting your mind in half as the room fell away and you ascended.

Distantly, you felt Regulus come too, his cry broken and loud enough to vibrate your ears as he fucked his spend into your quivering channel.

He collapsed onto you, breathing raged and skin sweaty. Slowly, your brain pieced itself back together, your muscles turned to goo, your skin tingling and sensitive as James rubbed small, soothing circles over your back.

“So good, lovey. You did so well,” you heard James murmur, pressing kisses to your and Regulus’ faces while he undid the last of your bondage.

Regulus curled around you, burying his face into you back of your neck. “I take it all back, I fucking love Christmas,” he mumbled, reaching out to tug James into the cuddle.

“I knew it,” James grinned, pulling your head onto his chest and wrapping an arm around you both, your legs tangled together. He twined his fingers with Regulus’ hand on your hip, guiding them to rest over his thundering heart.

“I think you just love pussy,” you teased, lazily grinding your ass against Regulus.

“That too,” he huffed a laugh, nipping at your earlobe.

“Well, I love you both,” James pressed a kiss to your forehead and brought Regulus’ knuckles to his lips.

“Love you,” you hummed, kissing James’ chest.

“Je t'aime,” Regulus shifted up to kiss James before dropping a kiss to your temple. “And thank you for showing me the true meaning of Christmas.”

“Pussy?” James asked.

“Pussy,” Regulus affirmed, and you snorted a laugh.

Thanks for reading!

[blossomarlia]

dressing up

When you're unsure how you feel in the dress the boys bought you, they make sure to re-inspire some confidence. (reupload from previous blog, see navigation for more info!)

poly!jegulus x fem! reader

warnings: mostly fluff, sexual references and implied smut at the end, reader has hair and is able-bodied.

You rub the liquid-soft silk of your dress absent-mindedly between two fingers, eyes locked on your reflection in the bathroom mirror. When you'd tried it on just a few days ago, the shop lady had told you you were a vision; now you're sure she was just trying to sell her product.

You want to blame the sizing- maybe it's too small, the wrong shape, impossible to look good in even if you had the body of a mannequin. But even that doesn't seem plausible. It's a beautiful dress, high-quality with a price to match. There's no alternative: you must be the problem, straining fabric with the parts of you that you wish you could just forget about.

You breathe out as much as you can, trying not to flush with the embarrassment you feel at the thought of having to show your boyfriends just what a mistake it was, encouraging you to spend their money on a pretty dress you can't possibly wear. It was wrong of you to accept the gift. Guilt boils hot and hurting in your stomach as you imagine your lovely boyfriends, so pleased to finally have convinced you to let them sponsor such a luxury. How awful to repay them by looking dowdy and silly and not at all right for something so beautiful.

You think quickly, aware of the expectant pair sitting just seconds away in the living room. You can't pass them without revealing yourself, but the prospect is unimaginable. What a waste of money.

“Baby?” James’ voice, soft and cheerful, sounds from just past the door. Your throat tightens. “Not that we’re too miffed, but we would like to see you at some point. You’ve been in there since we got back from the shops twenty minutes ago.”

Shit. You curse yourself for deciding to come in here for a full-body view of the dress, leaving all your other clothing in the bedroom. Exiting naked would usually warrant rather a happy reaction from the boys, but after looking a few moments more at the outline of your body in the mirror, that doesn't seem like a good option either. “Sorry!”

"Not to worry, sweetheart."

James’ white bathrobe is the only reasonable alternative. You grab it off the hook by the towels and wrap it around yourself, nodding contentedly as it reveals only a sliver of fabric at your chest and nothing more. You might as well be wearing a nightie, for all they know. The dress will just have to be returned, and you'll tell them you couldn't find one that fit- technically correct.

You aim to leave the bathroom casually, but that becomes almost impossible when you open the door and find yourself face-to-face with Regulus, his fist raised as if to knock.

“Hi, Reg!” Too cheery. You tamper down your smile and stand on your tip-toes to kiss him, holding the robe tightly around yourself.

“Hello. I was just going to ask what you wanted for dinner. Are you alright, darling?" He wonders, watching you with storm-grey eyes that always seem to see just a little more than you're expecting them to.

"Of course! Dandy." You supply.

He cocks his head, unmoving. "You’re in an odd mood.”

“What? No. This is my usual mood,” You insist.

“M-hm.” His eyes drop momentarily down to the robe, narrowing. “Any particular reason you're wearing James' robe?” 

“Am I?”

The aforementioned individual appeared, suddenly, grinning. “I don’t mind. Looks great, very sexy!”

You wonder if it's possible for your face to heat so much that it melts.

“Incorrigible, James.” Regulus says softly.

You give him a weak smile, squirming away from the impossible weight of their combined gazes and heading for the bedroom. Regrettably, they follow you.

“Why are you wearing it, angel?” James asks, flopping onto the bed. 

You shrug, searching for an opportunity to get them both to leave you alone to change. The truth is that your own robe would've been much too short, and if they see the bottom of the dress they'll probably ask for the whole thing, and that's just not going to happen. You press your fingers into the soft curve of your lower stomach nervously, taking a few steps backwards until your back hits the wall. James' brows pull together. 

“Um. I don't know.”

The two of them exchange a glance. You understand; you're not exactly behaving in a normal manner.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Regulus asks. You like to think you're better at reading his expressions than most- the slight slant of his dark brows tells you he's concerned, but you can't get a good read on the rest of it.

"Yes, I'm fine! Why are you- I- I'm just a little warm."

"Call me crazy, angel," James says, amused, "But taking off the robe might help with that."

Your reply comes too quickly, to your immediate regret. "No!"

There's a brief silence. You feel like a total idiot, but you're sure it beats the feeling you'd get seeing them pretend to like the way you look right now. You squeeze your eyes shut for second, swallowing hard.

"I'm sorry," You sound mortifyingly close to tears. "Sorry. I just- sorry."

At a total loss, James stares at you from the bed. Regulus touches your upper arm gently.

"There's no need to apologise, darling, just tell us what's happened. What's made you so upset?"

You force yourself to make eye contact. "Please can you both just go while I get changed?"

Their expressions are awful; knowing you're causing such a fuss over something so trivial, so stupid, you feel like just about the worst girlfriend in the world.

“Is there something you're worried we'll see? Bruises, or something?” James asks. "We can go, baby, but if there's something going on it might be better for Reg or me to take a look. You know I was joking when I said I'd break up with you if you got that tattoo of Margaret Thatcher's face."

You deflate, softened by his attempt to break the tension. Regulus rolls his eyes, but you see the corner of his mouth twitch. "What's going on, hm?" He asks quietly.

With a sigh, you stare at the ground, giving up. They're too lovely to stick to your original plan- you'll just have to let it happen, and hope to make up for it another time by looking better.

"...I'm not sure you'll love what you see."

“Of course we’ll love it. We love you.” Regulus says firmly, like it's obvious.

“That doesn’t mean-”

“Angel. Take the robe off, yeah? We’ll prove it to you.” 

At James' insistence, you take a deep breath and stare at the ground as you shrug off the robe, wrapping your arms around your middle. You're keenly aware of the places where your skin presses against fabric, the way it falls, and the heat rushing to your cheeks. Oh, god.

"Fuck." Regulus says, uncharacteristically crude. You curl in on yourself a little further.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not how it looked on the-”

James interrupts you. “Baby? I’m gonna be honest, because I love you, okay?”

“Okay.” You say meekly, eyes stinging. Maybe it's even worse than you’d thought.

“I cannot hear a single word you are saying when you look that good. Like, a single word. It’s all lost on me. I’m going to need a minute.” 

Regulus’ hands are on you before you could properly react to James’ words, drawing your arms away from your body and taking in the dress with hungry eyes. 

“Exquisite, sweetheart," He exclaims, hands on yours. "I would say you’re never taking this off, but that’s actually all I want to do.”

"What?" You manage, smiling despite yourself. You pull your hands away and press them to your face. "Reg, you don't have to-"

“You thought we wouldn’t want to see this?” Hands on your shoulders, Regulus spins you once, before pulling your back against his chest and planting a heated kiss to the side of your neck. “And you called me crazy?”

“You’re- I’m- what?” You stammer. James makes an unintelligible sound from the bed, pressing a dramatic hand to his heart. "Thank you."

"Don't thank us, angel. Holy shit. I'm thanking you. I'm thanking the gods. I'm thanking-"

"James is very thankful." Regulus whispers into your hair. You laugh out loud, a little giddy at all their praise. "D'you know what I'd be thankful for right now?"

"What?"

"You on that bed, darling," He says. You lean into his touch as his hand slides down your side, squeezing a part of your waist you'd prodded critically in the mirror not ten minutes ago. Now you enjoy the feeling of his warm hands through the thin fabric, enjoy having a shape his hands both appreciate so well. "Off you go."

It's an instruction, now, and you shiver at the authority in his tone as you obey. James is on you before the duvet has even settled, making you gasp as he presses kisses all over your face.

“I’m going to destroy this dress. I’m sorry.” He says earnestly. You giggle happily, insecurities not quite gone but coated in a honey-sweet joy that softens their presence.

“I thought you liked it.”

“M-hm. It’s okay,” His hand finds your thigh and grips it firmly, fingers pressing into soft skin. “We’ll buy you a million more.” 

You let yourself enjoy it all for a moment more before giving any space to the snarky voice at the back of your mind, more out of a desire for reassurance than genuine belief that the two boys on top of you would genuinely do such a thing. "You're not- not just saying all this to make me feel better?"

“Why would we ‘just say’ this?” Regulus murmurs against your right shoulder, forearm across your stomach as he does wicked things to your skin that you'll have to cover in concealer if you want to wear anything sleeveless for a few days.

“...I don't know. Make me feel better?”

“You’re stunning. Literally- how often is James speechless, hm?” 

You laughed. “Hardly ever.” 

“Exactly. You're quite regularly the most beautiful girl either of us have ever seen, darling, whether you're feeling the same way or not,” Regulus leans on his elbow to look at you sternly. "We don't appreciate you this way because you look like somebody else, we adore you because you're yourself, and completely radiant."

“I don’t think you don't like me, I promise. It’s just something that’s in my brain- that I’m ugly, or something. It's silly."”

"It is," James agrees, allowing Regulus to return to whatever he's doing to your collarbone. "But it's not your fault. Your only job is to listen to what we're telling you, instead of your insecurity. Yeah?"

"Yeah," You nod, a little breathless. It's very easy to be agreeable when they're doing all these things to you. James kisses a line down your throat, to your chest, to your arm, slipping the strap of the dress down to follow. “I love you both," You manage.

They answer in their own, doubly enjoyable, ways.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Our children yearn for violence

Barbie dolls: jegulus x reader (James, regulus, you)

Words: 3.6k ish

Summary: the school calls you in bc your son got into an altercation what happens when the other kids' parents are hot

Warnings: your son is named Elliot, also you're referred to as Ren and Rena like the gn term for your parent so just yk it's not an oc i promise, you're a highschool art teacher, pushing the trans James agenda, misgendering James from the principal, honestly you pour coffee all over the principal and I'm pretty sure that's assault so just yk, no consequences very fictional world, condoning violence, abortion mentioned, James is a baker and regulus is a stay at home dad/writer just so you know, modern au I'm SORRY, Lily has a wife but she isn't here Lily is just mentioned, actually kinda unwarranted meanness toward the principal but yk whatevs, kinda extremely fanficy if that makes sense but let's just close our eyes and laugh along okay, that's all I think man

Your son, Elliot, was quite kind. You weren't one to toot your own horn, but he was a pretty well raised 6 year old. He was more introverted so when he came home telling you all about his new friends you were very proud of him. He loved Lightning McQueen and he was absolutely giddy to tell you his new friend, Harry, had a Lightning McQueen backpack. And his other friend, Luna, loved Tinkerbell almost as much as he did. Elliot loved art too, he took after you in that field. You were a high school art teacher. Luckily for you the same bus that picked up the first graders for his school, also picked up from your high school. Elliot would ride the bus and after dropping off all the other students the bus-driver would  drop him off at the high school. Elliot would spend the last few minutes of the school day with your last class. They loved him, they thought he was adorable. They often made him little cards or gave him candy. Elliot was the best and nicest, if you do say so yourself, first grader you ever met.

When his school called you in the middle of your class, telling you he got into an altercation, you were shocked. You sent your class over to classroom next door, another art teacher who gladly helped you. Then you quickly gathered your things and got to the Elementary school as fast as you could. You spoke to the front desk. They pointed you down a hallway. If you were a third grader, you'd be scared shitless walking down this hallway.

Finally at the end of the row was your son. He was in a short sleeve plain red shirt and his favorite pair of shorts that has a little lightning bolt towards the bottom. Elliot's backpack was sitting next to him on the floor. He was digging his hand into a little ziploc bag of pretzels, a ziploc bag you didn't remember putting in his lunchbox. Elliot glanced up when he heard you approaching. He memorized the sound of the keychains on your bag clinking, thinking of home. He smiled brightly, and scooted out of his chair. He ran towards you, latching onto your leg.

You saw a row of three chairs, each filled with a small child, sat next to a door. The door had a small sign that read 'Princapal' so you assumed it might be the principal's office.

The child closest the the door was a girl with curly white hair tied in two pigtails down by her ears. She was wearing a shirt with Tinkerbell on it and a bright pink tutu. Her tennis shoes looked to light up. Her backpack was sat next to her. It was green and had beautiful flowers embroidered on it. She had what looked to be a thousand keychains, all of which were characters to another children's show. She was snacking on a small ziploc bag of goldfish. Luna.

Next to her was a boy. He had glasses that looked to large for his face, and curly hair that looked tossled from what you assumed was the altercation you were called in for. He had on a Spider-Man shirt and jean overalls. One of the straps to the overalls was unhooked and thrown over his shoulder. His shoes were of Lightning McQueen, they looked to light up too. They matched his backpack. That must be Harry. He was snacking on a ziploc bag of cheezits.

"I missed you, Ren. Am I going to get kicked out of school?" Elliot mumbled against your leg. You squated down and clutched onto his hands. You pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"No, baby. Why did they call me? Are you okay?" Elliot nodded as you asked him questions, holding up his bag of pretzels.

"Luna's dad gave us snacks. I took the pretzels because the cheezits are white cheddar and Harry likes those the best. And Luna likes the pizza goldfish, but I don't because they don't taste like the good pizza. But look, Rena, these pretzels have butter inside." Elliot quickly pulled out a pretzel and bit into it, showing the inside to you. Sure enough the pretzel had the fake cheese filling inside.

"Oh yeah look at that it does have cheese inside." Ignoring the fact he called cheese butter, you looked around Elliot as he continued to tell you all about his snack. You noticed two men  standing next to another water fountain. One of them was holding a green lunchbox that looked eerily similar to Luna's backpack. The other was holding a matching Lightning McQueen backpack, Harry's dad. They looked as confused as you, talking to each other quietly so their kids couldn't hear them in the near empty hallway.

"Okay baby I'm going to go talk to your friends' parents,  you go back to your chair and keep working on those cheese pretzels for me." Elliot quickly nodded. You kissed his forehead before standing up. Elliot turned back to his row of friends and started talking to Harry. You headed toward the water fountain.

Luna's dad was dressed in all black, you were curious as to how he had such a colorful kid. He was in a black button down that was tucked into his black slacks. His shoes were shiny and they made you wonder if he just came from a board meeting or whatever people who don't spend their entire day listening to your mom jokes as they teach high schoolers how to weave do. His hair was black and curly and looked to be perfectly set in place.  The only pop of color was his nails, bright green and pink splattered on each finger. Luna's doing. If you weren't deeply worried for your son, you'd say he was hot.

Harry's dad, and you do mean this in the nicest most respectful way, was fucking jacked. He was just as attractive as Luna's dad. He was in jeans and red converse. He had on a t-shirt that had red text on it. It said 'Boys with Tits' and little stars printed around the text. You wondered how strong that cotton t-shirt was because the sleeves around his biceps and pecs looked tired. Holding on for dear life. Harry's dad had what looked to be flour smeared on his cheek. His hair was also curly and black but was much different from Luna's Dad's hair as it was more messy. He looked a lot like Harry. He even had on very similar glasses. On his own Lightning McQueen backpack, was what looked to be the same number of keychains as Luna's bag had. Although his had less children's shows. You spotted a trans flag and a raccoon eating a sandwich among them. You glanced down at your own appearance, realizing you most definitely looked like an art teacher. Your hands were covered in paint. You grimaced before shrugging. One of these men had bright pink and green splattered on the tips of his fingers and the other was holding a Lightning McQueen backpack, you doubted they would care much. When you finally reached them, they both looked away from the other to stare at you.

"Hi. I'm Elliot's Parent." You gave them a light wave, giving them your name as well. They both nodded.

"Hey. I'm Harry's dad, James." you smiled at him.

"I'm Luna's Dad, Regulus."

"Do you guys know what happpened? They just said altercation on the phone." Regulus shook his head at the question. James shrugged. At this point you honestly felt sympathy for his sleeves.

"Luna won't even tell me what happened. She's just been sadly eating her pizza goldfish." Regulus said, looking between you and James.

"Oh yeah. Hey thanks for giving Elliot those pretzels. He thinks they're a hoot." Regulus shrugged at you.

"Luna's the one sharing." James moved the subject back to the whole reason you three were here.

"I asked Harry what happened and he told me 'name calling' and then continued with his cheezeits. So that's all I have." James explained. You thought you might be putting the pieces together now. Yes, Elliot was a kind boy but he was also loyal to a fault. You were both the type to self sacrifice in the name of love. You'd kill someone for Elliot and any one of your friends. Elliot does take after you in a lot of areas...

"Okay well I only see three children, they all seem to still be friends so who were they fighting?" You asked. There wasn't even another backpack sitting near the chairs. From what you spied in window to the principals office, the only person in there was the principal herself.

"Do you think our kids would actually get into a fight?" James asked. You and Regulus glanced at each other.

"Yes." You said in sync. You glanced back at Elliot. He had finished his snack and pulled out his Lighting McQueen picture book, showing Harry all the pages. Sweet boy, but also a tad rabid. You wouldn't be shocked if the principal told you he bit somebody.

"Luna's lovely don't get me wrong, but her favorite uncle has had to pay for a lot of bail." Regulus said, zipping open Luna's lunchbox. He peered in there. You wondered if he was looking for a shank she made during her art class. James huffed.

"If this is some stupid bullshit, I think I'll riot." James whispered.

"That's something Barty would say." Regulus muttered, stuffing his hand into Luna's lunchbox.

"Listen, I'm sure we're all just a little peaved because it's our kids, but surely this is something serious that truely needs me to leave 17 high schoolers alone with another teacher." James and Regulus gave you a knowing look. "Okay so I'm lying." Regulus pulled out a bag of apple slices. He held them up above his head and leaned to look around you.

"Lue, I'm stealing your apples. Is that okay with you?" Regulus yelled down the short hallway. Luna looked up from making her goldfish swim in the air, to look at Regulus. She nodded and held up a thumbs up. Regulus zipped her lunchbox again and pulled open the bag of apples.

"So what if they threw a couple punches, I taught Harry that we don't start fights, we end them." James explained. Regulus nodded as he bit into an apple. You huffed.

"I'm pretty sure I taught Elliot the difference between oil and acrylic. I'm honestly shocked he even knows the word fight." You felt a little behind on your parenting. Regulus set down Luna's lunchbox by his feet.

"Well to be perfectly honest, I am not shocked that Luna got into a fight. Her mother was, in the best way, fucking rabid. Love her to death, literally, but she got into a good number of fights while we were school." Regulus said. He chuckled after he said 'to death'. You kinda felt like he kept making inside jokes but he was the only one in on them. James nodded along.

"High school sweat hearts?" James asked, giving Regulus an understanding look.

"No," Regulus laughed as he bit into another apple. "Hell no. Um I knew her mother in high school. We were really close. She passed and I adopted Luna." You and James both let out sad ohs. Regulus didn't seemed bothered by it at all though, continuing to much on his apple slices.

"Well me and Harry's mum were high school sweethearts. After Harry was born though, we got divorced. His mum and her wife are both stuck at work so that's why they aren't here." James said, filling the awkward silence. You nodded.

"Really glad we're spending this time trauma dumping." You joked. Regulus snorted and held an apple slice out towards you. You great-fully took it as Regulus held one out towards James too.

"What is the Principal doing in there? Feeding her hostages?" James muttered not even a breath later he was following up his comment. "Sorry, that was mean." You and Regulus both laughed, looking at each other to make sure someone else thought it was funny, too. With that the door to her office opened, the Principal's head popping out.

"Sorry for the wait." She said, holding the door open.

The Prinicple would be terrifying to any first grader. She was in a perfectly pressed suit. Her perfectionism rivaling Regulus'. Her hair was back in an extremely slick bun and you questioning whether or not her name was Trunchbull. She sat down in the chair behind her desk, turning to her computer and typing away. She listed off each of your names, started with what you assumed was James' last name as he nodded at her and ending with yours.

"You should be." Regulus muttered before plastering a smile on and helping Luna out of her chair, shooing her into the office. James carried Harry's bag for him as they entered the office. The principal grimaced at James as he entered.

Elliot took his time, gently putting his book back into his backpack. You smiled at the care he took with his favorite book. Then he scooted out of his chair and pulled his arms through the straps. Elliot clutched onto your hand, as you walked him through the office door. There were three chairs sat in front of the Principal's desk. James was sat with Harry in his lap, James' arm crossed over his stomach. Regulus was sat similarly, Luna deciding not to face the Principals and instead sitting sideways in Regulus' lap. You sat in the chair in between Regulus and James. Elliot hopped up into your lap, placing his backpack next to you. He leaned back against you and held onto both your hands. You were pretty sure he was scared shitless, but you completely understood.

"Today your children got into a fist fight with another student. We do not accept bullying of any forms here so we will-" Regulus cut off the principal, pausing from digging into his bag of apples.

"Well what caused the fight?" Regulus asked. The Principal stayed silent for a moment before continuing.

"What started the fight does not matter. What matters is that your three children ganged up on one student, and beat him. We do not accept physical-" It was James' turn to cut her off this time.

"Well who swung first?" The principal clenched her jaw. She glared at James. Harry took it upon himself to answer for her.

"Charles did." Harry said as he swung his feet back and forth in his father's lap. James hummed.

"So you didn't start it?" James asked. Harry shook his head.

"One could say that he didn't start it but he did finish it." Regulus muttered chomping into an apple. You stuck your hand out to him. Regulus dropped a slice from the bag into your hand.

"Listen, if you three would please let me finish-" The principle started.

"Actually I have a question for you, Mrs. Principle. I didn't have time to learn your name, I was quite busy with my job," James snorted at you. "I was wondering, what happened before the fight? What triggered it to start? I am quite confident that my son wouldn't just beat some other kid up for fun. At least not unwarrantedly." Regulus nodded at you. Luna wouldn't kick somebody in shin just for breathing wrong, well actually.

"Again that does not matter-" Harry took over the principal's speaking time yet again to answer the question himself.

"Charles called Luna a bitch." Harry said, matter of factly. Regulus scoffed and James leaned down to ask Harry if he was serious.

"Yeah he did, so I called him a bootlicking, slimy, vomit inducing, retched, failed abortion." Luna said. You glanced over at her. It was actually the first time you heard her speak. You felt a small smile grow, understanding what Regulus said in the hallway earlier. Regulus was smiling brightly. He held his hand out in front of her. Luna slapped her hand in his, giving Regulus a loud high five.

"Then Charles said she was a dumb idiot." Harry explained, still swinging his feet back and forth. "Then Elliot said something, I don't 'member but it pissed Charles off so he punched Luna in the arm." Harry continued. You looked down at Elliot.

"I told him the only time anyone will ever love him is if he was cremated and turned into a diamond." Elliot whispered. You laughed. Elliot looked up at you, a small smile growing on his face. You gently kissed his on his forehead.

"Oh I love you, you know that Elliot?" Elliot nodded and looked back to the empty Ziploc bag he was tearing holes in.

"I would greatly appreciate it if you three would take this seriously, this is no laughing matter. " The principal said, clenching her jaw.

"Well I would greatly appreciate it if you took this seriously. A boy called this girl a bitch and then punched her and yet we're the ones who had to leave work to meet with you. It seems to me that these kids were just defending themselves. I think you just grabbed the nearest kids and blamed them. Luna didn't do anything she's the victim. Elliot and James were just protecting their friend. Sure maybe they should've gone easy on him the failed abortion comment would've been just enough but-"

"Your children broke a boy's nose."

"Well, maybe he should've kept his mouth shut." Regulus said, sitting up in his chair.

"I think he'll be too busy breathing out of it to call anyone else names, now." James said, setting Harry on his feet. James stood and swung his backpack over his shoulder before holding out Harry's.

"Ms. Potter we are not done here." The prinipal said.

"Seems to me we are, see you Monday." James said. Luna took that sign and hopped off Regulus' lap, pulling her own bag on.

"Well Ms. Potter I do hope over the weekend you find a new shirt, along with new manners." The principal said. You stood up, letting Elliot run out the door after Harry and Luna.

"Well Mrs. Principal I do hope you learn how to shut your mouth on matters that don't concern you, you foul, lothesome, grimy, bottoming-feeding, transphobe. Enjoy your night." You said. You reached over her desk and knocked her mug over. Her coffee spilled over the papers on her desk dripping into her lap. You assumed it was cold by now because she just clenched her jaw.  You gave her a bright smile and left out the office door. Regulus and James shared a look before following. You three lead your children out of the school building and stopped on the steps. The three kids ran off towards the nearby tree, attempting to climb it.

"We are probably going to have to enroll our kids somewhere else, huh?" You asked. James shook his head.

"No, schools almost out and luckily for us she's actually transferring in about a month anyways." James explained. Regulus nodded, setting Luna's bag down.

"I do mean this in the most respectful way, but that was extremely attractive." Regulus said. You heard Elliot laugh over in the tree at something Luna said. James nodded at Regulus.

"Oh yeah extremely Pilf-y." James grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Regulus turned to him with a confused look.

"Public Interest Legal Foundation?" Regulus asked. James, smile fell.

"No, Parent I'd Love to Fuck. Like milf or dilf." Regulus laughed and reached out for James. He gripped onto James' bicep as he laughed. You started chuckling along with him, his laughter very contagious. Regulus wiped at his eyes and he stood again.

"Oh that was good, James."

"I don't think it was that funny." James muttered. You shrugged.

"I thought it was good." Regulus sighed and straightened his back.

"So our kids beat another kid up." He said. You nodded. You glanced over at Harry and Luna helping Elliot climb up.

"Your kid has a filthy mouth Regulus, if she said that to me I think I'd cry." James said, nudging Regulus with his elbow. Regulus smiled proudly.

"I know, right? What a psycho first grader." Regulus said. His chest seemed to puff out a little more.

"Where did she even learn half those words?" You asked. Regulus' face fell as he stared at you with serious eyes.

"Her uncle." You and James shared a look.

"well Elliot isn't innocent either, that diamond comment was wild." James said, jumping topics. You nodded.

"I'm extremely proud of my son, I personally think they derseve some ice cream, what do you guys think?" You asked. They both looked at each other.

"Sounds good to me." Regulus muttered, Pulling Luna's bag over his shoulder.

"They'll have napkins there so I can give you guys my number." James said, winking at you both. You chuckled.

"Ah ha yeah that was smooth, James. Good one." You complimented.

"Yeah I thought so." James said, turning towards the tree and calling the kids down. You looked to Regulus.

"Oh by the way I love Luna's bag it's so pretty." You said. Regulus' ears turned red. He glanced down at his shoes before looking back up at you.

"Thanks. I actually made it for her." You gave him a shocked look.

"Did you really?" Regulus nodded. "Well you're extremely talented Regulus." Soon enough all six of you were in an ice cream shop. The kids were giddy. They were getting sticky ice cream all over their faces and hands, but it didn't matter. This was a celebration. you spent the time laughing along with James and Regulus. When the kids finally finished their ice cream James stayed true to his word and gave you both his number. He made a group chat before you even left the parking lot, starting up a conversation about a date.

part two

[hp-hcs]

🄼🄰🅂🅃🄴🅁🄻🄸🅂🅃

male, nonbinary, & gender-neutral readers x hp characters

NOT UP TO DATE!!!

requests: open! (RULES)

join the taglist!

Do you hate it when you find a fic that says “x reader” only for it to have she/her pronouns, as if it’s some inherent rule that only fem people read fanfiction? WELL DO I HAVE A BLOG FOR YOU.

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。.・゜✭・.

am i reorganizing my masterlist for the 10,000th time? yep! i’ve finally written enough that i need to break this down into tinier masterlists!

key: 🚹 = male reader ⚧️ = nonbinary reader 🚻 = gender-neutral reader

☣️ = yandere tw 💥 = violence tw ‼️ = homophobia/transphobia tw 🩸 = blood/gore tw 🧨 = implied sexual content/sexual innuendos ❤️‍🔥 = smut tw

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

mattheo riddle masterlist

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theodore nott masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

polyamorous/non-monogamous masterlist

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“Splinched” masterlist • theodore nott 🚹🩸

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

“Pansy’s Brother” masterlist • theodore nott 🚹 ☣️ 💥

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

“lipstick” masterlist • enzo berkshire and draco malfoy 🚻 ☣️ ❤️‍🔥

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“watercolors” masterlist • tom riddle 🚹

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“The Doll” masterlist • enzo berkshire, regulus black, draco malfoy, theodore nott, mattheo riddle, and blaise zabini 🚻 💥

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

“phoenix tears” masterlist • riddle brothers 🚹 ‼️💥🩸

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draco malfoy:

the audacity, i can’t believe this 🚹

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

enzo berkshire:

shut up 🚹☣️❤️‍🔥

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

ron weasley:

love triangle 🚹

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

neville longbottom:

mr. green thumb 🚻

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

weasley twins:

common room confessions 🚹

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

blaise zabini:

uniforms ⚧️

fiendfyre 🚹

yandere! blaise zabini headcanons 🚻

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

narcissa malfoy:

yandere! mother! headcanons 🚻 ☣️💥

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

riddle brothers:

June 🚻

crystal 🚻☣️💥 (referenced attempted S/A tw)

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

pansy parkinson:

paralyzer 🚻

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

viktor krum:

sibling rivalry 🚻

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・. .・。✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。✭・.

slytherin boys hcs:

slytherin boys: gn! muggleborn! reader’s music taste is rather…unexpected 🚻

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。.・゜✭・.

random non-reader stories:

key:

❌= implied/referenced child abuse tw 🛑= graphic child abuse tw

“where have you been?”

molly weasley discovers the extent of the dursleys’ abuse ❌

the weasley family and their cinematic adventures

just some funky lil headcanons

Harry Potter and the Amount of Abuse He Suffered at the Hands of His Guardians That Doesn’t Get Mentioned Nearly Enough (aka LET THE POOR BOY BE TRAUMATIZED)

writing prompt: “…jegulus taking in teenage harry after he runs away from the dursleys” 🛑 ❌

untitled tomarry thingy (i just love them okay)

writing prompt: “Touch starved Tom / Voldemort” 🛑 ❌

two thousand words of pure marauders-raise-harry fluff

writing prompt: “regulus black becoming the best seeker ever and harry being his biggest fan and then he finds out that his dad use to date him and he tries (and plots with sirius) to get them back together just so he can call the regulus black his stepdad”

Children Don’t Belong in Cupboards (pt. 1/?)

synopsis: jily comes to the dursleys’ to get their son back 🛑 ❌

.・。.・゜✭・. ☾ ⋆*・。.・゜✭・.

[sinnetsins]

PLEASE

fem reader x jegulus

WARNINGS: poly!jegulus, oral sex (fem receiving), fingering briefly , praise kink if you blink, sub/dom dynamic, i think that’s all?? pls let me know i’m rusty

______________________________

I could feel the slick between my legs getting worse. I admire them both, but if i'm honest, just the thought of them got me soaked.

Absolutely fucking soaked.

Regulus meets my stare for a moment from across the Great Hall and stands up, making his way to the Gryffindor table. He sits next to James and I finally lock eyes with both of them. Regulus whispers something into James' ear.

I rub my thighs together trying to subdue the knot in my stomach from seeing them both. I tear my gaze away from them and turn to my friends, “I don’t feel so well, I’ll see you all later, yeah?” I started standing up, locking eyes with both of them and slightly jerk my head toward the door.

I exit the Great Hall, walking down the hall a little before I hear the doors open. Turning toward the noise, I spot them. They make their way toward me and I feel the throbbing at my core intensify.

“What is it, little dove?” Regulus questions, moving a tendril of hair from my face behind my ear, running his hand through my hair.

I breathe deeply at the affection, “Please— I need you, please? Please.” I move further into his grasp.

Regulus envelops me, I look to James, his face set in a permanent smirk, “You need what of us?” James runs his thumb across my cheek, “What do you need? Tell us.”

I whine into Regulus’ shoulder, “None of that, tell us what you want.” Regulus demands, pulling my hair at the roots.

A throaty moan leaves me, tears prick my eyes from the tight grip Regulus has.

“Want you t’fuck me,” I whine, “Please? Please. Please fuck me.” I whimper.

James and Regulus share the same grin, both of them leading me to the Slytherin dorms, myself being in the middle of the two.

I always seem to find myself between the two of them.

---

My back against Regulus’ bare chest as I pant softly, legs spread, James kissing down my thighs slowly and back up.

James sucks harshly at the skin below where my thigh meets my heat, he sucks a bruise into the skin. My back arches with a moan caught in my throat against Regulus’ chest.

My hips lift on their own volition, Regulus’ hands grip them, pushing me down and his back trapping me, immobilizing me completely. Regulus starts kissing my neck as James marks my thigh. I raised my hips once more, silently begging for friction.

“Sit fucking still,” Regulus growls and pushes my hips down once more, “We’re being nice dove.” Regulus’ voice echoes through my ear, his breath hot and adding to my sensitivity.

“Please— I need—“ I choke out.

“You need— you need— you need nothing.” James mocks with a breathy scoff, the vibration of his voice travels up my thighs to my core.

“You came to us,” Regulus whispers, James continues his assault on my skin, “Again, remember?”, Regulus pulls my face to meet his eyes, expression stony, “Begged us actually, so now? Now you only take.” Regulus forces me to watch James.

James licks my slit so softly I thought I might’ve imagined it if I hadn’t seen it. Regulus brings his hand down to my neck and squeezes it just enough that I struggle for air. James sucks on my clit once and pulls back with a groan, “Tastes so good, so fucking good.” Before lapping at my soaked cunt, pushing his tongue up and into my awaiting hole, sucking my clit into his mouth at the same time.

I already feel the coil in my stomach tightening. The next few laps of James’ tongue along with the continuous sucking on my clit.

My entire body trembles, white spots blur my vision, James' name on my tongue that's nearly a scream as I climax. My eyes slam closed, body twitching and shuddering against his tongue as he laps up my juices.

“So good for Jamie, such a good girl-“ Regulus coos.

My eyes crack open, meeting James’, “Such a good girl, our very best girl.” James grins.

James rubs my thighs, planting wet kisses around my most sensitive area. Regulus murmuring sweet nothings in my ear, rubbing the outsides of my thighs, traveling to my sensitive bundle of nerves.

Regulus presses harder, causing my slick to pool once more,“We’re going to give you exactly what you want,” James says, planting kisses onto my face. Regulus smooths back my sweat-plastered hair off my temples with his free hand.

“Can’t wait to stretch your little holes with our cocks.” Regulus breathes as he slips a finger into me, curling it deliciously.

[siriuslysmoking]

more jegulus x reader? anything really as long as its super fluffy

Surprise

Pairing: jegulus x reader

warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Pregnancy, lying (for the surprise duhhh), nothing big (lemme know if i missed anything)

Notes: FLUFFY JEGULUS!!!! I WAS BORN FOR THISSSS!! I hope it's okay that I made this a pregnancy announcement, but that's what I was in the mood for.

They were catching on, you couldn't hide it for much longer. Regulus and James noticed the suddenly baggy clothes, it wasn't as if you didn't wear baggy things, just not this much.

You had never lied to your boys like this, a small thing maybe, but this was big. you had something growing inside of you and you hadn't told your boys yet.

Of course the first person you went to was your friend Lily, you would have gone to Sirius or Remus but they'd spill the beans, you knew you could trust Lily.

She had a perfect plan.

You carefully fixed the bows on the two presents, you were sitting on the couch, waiting for Regulus and James' arrival after hanging out with their friends. You were fidgeting with you hands as you waited for the sound of the door opening. your leg shaking up and down off the floor. You hadn't worn a tight shirt in a while, not wanting to ruin the surprise, but you were today, you had a blanket covering your belly to make sure you didn't give anything away. You were sure the boys wouldn't say anything, but just incase they noticed anything.

Regulus and James will be ecstatic but will they be mad at you for not telling them sooner? They were -James Mostly- so excited to start trying for a baby, ever since Alice and Frank had their baby James got baby fever. It's not like Regulus Didn't want a baby, h just wasn't as excited as James was when you all agreed.

A soft thud knocked you out of your thoughts. You took a deep breath in when you saw them both walk into the living room, James came over to kiss your cheek, Regulus who was about to do the same, paused as he saw you twisting the rings adorning your fingers.

"are you okay, Love?" Regulus murmured, leaning down so that your faces were level, him crouched in front of the chair you sat in.

"Mhm." you hummed, looking towards James you began to speak again, "I have something for the both of you."

"oh? wait-" James' eyes widened, looking towards the kitchen, sounding panicked, "What's the date?"

"nothing important, Jamie." you laughed, your nerves slowly mellowing, "Just a normal day."

You looked towards Regulus and he had his eyes on you with his eyebrows knitted together in question. He was always the most observent.

"come sit." you patted the couch next to your chair. they both followed your hand, taking they're spot on the couch. "alright."

you nodded to yourself as you moved your hand behind the chair to grab the two boxes. "open."

"Sweetheart..." James trailed off, holding his present, while looking at Regulus. "You didn't have to get us anything for this 'normal day'."

"open it." you started growing impatient, mostly with Regulus' hot gaze on you with questions in his eyes.

"okay." Regulus and James both torn into their present, James more enthusiastic, while Regulus kept his paper in just one sheet with few rips.

They both slowly pulled out the fabric, holding the shirts up to their body, James laughed, "Oh, Sweetheart, no need for a shirt, I already know what you like to call me."

You put your hand up to your mouth, as Regulus moved forward, crouched in front of you once more, you raised the blanket from your lap as Regulus held onto your stomach. "Really?"

"I'm confused..." James trailed off, he looked. at Regulus' shirt where it lay on the coffee table and then his, Regulus' hands, and then back to you. his eyes widened a second time again. "You're not serious."

You nodded, holding the ultrasound pictures up for them both to look at. "Regulus it has your nose! And my hair! I already know it's gonna be a quidditch player."

James was bouncing up and down, he leaned down to hug then turned, quickly racing down the hallway, "I"VE GOT TO GO CALL PADS!!!!!"

You and Regulus laughed at James as hid figure disappeared down the hallway. you decided to cuddle up on the couch while waiting for James to get back.

"Padfoot, Guess what!"

[weirdtinkerbellversion]

Dec 1. Prompt: Snow. Word count: 197 @jegulus-microfic

This is my first ever microfic (or fic or anything really) I’ve written for the fandom. I’ve been scared to do it ‘cause I haven’t written fiction in years, so please be nice, I’m sensitive and I will cry. It’s just a bunch of fluff because I need it, and I love the idea of the black brothers trying new things that they were deprived of during their childhood. No warnings :)

“James, what is that?” Regulus asks, scrunching his nose at the colorful concoction in his boyfriend’s hand.

“A Piragua!”

Reg raises his eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, like a snow cone, except better.” 

When the look on his boyfriend’s face doesn’t budge, James’ smile falters and he shakes his head. “I hate your fucking parents.” Who doesn’t, Regulus thinks.

“It’s shaved ice and flavored syrup. The perfect combination of cold and sweet, like you.” 

Regulus rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. “And you chose Rainbow vomit flavor?”

“Oh, I couldn’t pick just one flavor so I mixed all of them,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

Reg stares at it, wondering how to even start. James, ever the mind-reader, produces two plastic spoons from behind his back, and uses his to take a big chunk off the top, trying to get all the flavors in one bite. Reluctantly, Regulus pokes at the shaved ice then finally takes a small spoonful of red to try while James stares at him expectantly.

“James?” “Yes mi amor?” “We’re going to need a second snow cone” “Anything for you, my little pi…” “Don’t you dare call me a piragua, Potter.”

[lilyofthevalleyys]

Hello! I just started reading your Petty much fic! (tumblr really needs to stop suggesting authors to me lmao i'm running out of hours in the day to read everything lol)

{about the coffee maker} "Nope, most definitely Sirius’ fault (Sirius only drank tea)."

LMAO I LOVE IT

"Regulus feigned annoyance, which was easy enough, considering his childhood."

erumqkslhrjA DID YOU JUST DO THA T

Also about the french: it's extremely formal, which makes some sense since he was raised pureblood I guess, but no one actually talks that way IRL (we [the french] came up with a billion rules for language and then when we speak we ignore the fuck out of the rules lmao); anyways it's up to you whether you think Reg speaks overly formal french or if he's learned less formal french (although baiser as a verb is really not formal lol) but if you want i can help translate! [or translate stuff in the future if you want!]

also i'm updating this ask as i read lol, again for the french there's a slight problem with genders but that's negligible lol, it makes absolutely no sense

“Merlin. baise-moi (Merlin. fuck me).” I think here fuck me isn't literal, it's like fml, but in french it's 100% literal (which still works in context, i'm just not sure that's what you meant)

There's also some other small things but i'll leave it at this for now lol, and I usually don't like Jegulus that much but I really liked that!!

oh also i followed you lol <3

omfg hi!!! Petty Much? was my first fic and i cringe whenever i read it 😭

reggie was most definitely not blaming sirius. nope not at all

YES I JUST DID THAT SKAJAKWSKJSJSKA

well yes i think reggie would speak formal french and thank you so much for your offer but i do have a beta reader who knows french but thank you!!

yesss jegulus!! i do hope you can be more open to it now!

lmao thank you! please check out my other fics 🤭 (definitely not self promoting rn what ???) but yeah thank you for reading and commenting! i really appreciate it :))

[loonylupinblack3]

Masterlist

hey, my name is alice and i write fanfiction <3

Who I Write For - list of ships and x readers that i will write for

requests are open <3

all my fics are from various platforms.

MARAUDERS ERA

It's a Date - (complete) jegulus, 1.8k, sirius getting regulus and james together (on ao3 and tumblr)

How it Could Have Gone - (complete) wolfstar, 10.6k, raising harry?? very heavy fic (on ao3)

Scream - (complete) jegulus, 16.1k, scream au (on ao3 and wattpad)

Sun and the Star - (wip) jegulus, chapters 2/?, werewolf au (on ao3)

Mine - (complete) regulus black x reader, 129.3k, enemies to lovers (on wattpad)

I Love You - (complete) barty crouch jr x reader, 1.4k, angsty (on tumblr)

Wretched - (complete) barty crouch jr x reader, 600 words, inspired by that one tik tok audio (on tumblr)

Black brother angst - (complete), regulus pov 690 words, canon complaint (on tumblr)

TEEN WOLF

Insatiable - (complete) Stiles Stilinski x reader, 52.5k, void/stiles (on wattpad)

Just Us - (complete) isaac lahey x reader, 86.7k, witch!reader (on wattpad)

Void - (complete) void/stiles x reader, 1.9k, villian gets the girl (on tumblr)

FORMULA ONE

Wrong Number - (wip) charles leclerc x reader, chapters 39/100, social media au, (on wattpad)

f1 grid reacting - (complete) reacting to you accidentally telling them you love them, 490 words, carlos x reader, charles x reader, lando x reader (on tumblr)

All For Nothing, After Everything - (complete) charles leclerc x reader, 2 parts, angst (on tumblr)

OTHER

Jess Mariano x Reader - (complete) 1.1k, gilmore girls, (on tumblr)

[jada-lockwood]

Hey so I’m coming on here for some fic recs. these are some of my favourite fanfics and most are completed (will specify down below). There are from multiple fandoms so I will be sure to mention which they are in and what the general tropes are.

Private message me for links, I will be happy to send them over :)

HARRY POTTER:

Marauders era:

dirty old town by WizardGod

Regulus Black x muggle reader

Alastair Moody’s niece takes in regulus after he defects from the deatheaters

Angst >> arguing and yelling

Posh prick regulus

Fake dating

Enemies to lovers

Smut

Trauma > hurt regulus > hurt/comfort

Happy ending

Fluff

Evan Rosier being a golden retriever

Complete>> 38 chapters and 286,984 words

Golden trio era:

Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281

Harry gets sent back in time

Decides to fuck shit up while he can

Saving some people who would have died

Running gag that his scar is psychic

Marketing off of himself

Humour

Harry and Draco are friends

Complete>> 50 chapters and 150,710 words

The Black Sparrow by TheIdeaOfSarcasm

Regulus raising Harry

Angst

Jegulus

Wolfstar

Jily (not at same time as jegulus)

No lily bashing

Dumbledore bashing

Drarry

Fluff and smut

Badass Regulus

Badass Harry

Running on air by eleventy7

Drarry

Draco has been missing for 3 years

Harry is assigned to his case

Harry falls in love with Draco through memories

Slow burn

Happy ending

Complete

Veiled by 60coyote

Dramione

Post war

Ron Weasley bashing

Met at a masquerade event

She knows who he is but he doesn’t know who she is.

She asks him to find out who she is

8th year

Brief mention of spiking and description of spiking but no one is taken advantage of

Sub!Draco / Dom!Hermione

In progress

The Trouble With Wanting by WrathOfMacy

Hermione granger x Fred Weasley

Ron Weasley bashing

Molly Weasley bashing

Cute stolen moments

Smut

Fluff

Secretly dating

In progress

As long as I am here by Sehnsucht88

Harry Potter x sister!oc

Bill Weasley x oc

Dumbledore bashing

Molly Weasley bashing

Ron Weasley bashing

Theo Nott x Harry Potter

Dramione

Harry saved from dursleys

LGBT+ friendly

Badass oc

Adopted/taken in hermione

In progress updates regularly

LUCIFER:

Our Bodies, Possessed by Light by lilaestheticsnhope

Lucifer x reader

Friends with benefits

Fake dating / undercover work

Hurt lucifer

Hurt reader

Angst

Smut

Fluff

Complete>>45 chapters and 263,535 words

MARVEL:

Harmless by shurisneakers

Bucky barnes x reader

Dr doofensmirtz and Perry vibes

She’s the inventor, he’s instructed to keep an eye on her

She’s mildly dangerous, mostly harmless

Shameless flirting

Enemies/rivals to friends to lovers

Not wanting to admit feelings

Lighthearted

Fun to read

Enjoyable to reread

Complete>> 23 chapters and 118,356 words

[themanfromeire]

Being Wolfstar's child would include:

-Having James Potter as your godfather (he'd definitely spoil you). When you went to Hogwarts, he either cried just as much as Sirius, or held Sirius whilst he sobbed.

-Going to the Potters' every Sunday for lunch. It's just a family tradition

-Being besties with Harry. Your dads and Godfather definitely arranged so many playdates for you two to become friends

-Having your own little Marauders nickname :,)

-Getting to cuddle with Padfoot when you're overwhelmed or just sad, but not okay with people at the time.

-Getting to ride Padfoot like a horse when you were younger.

-Having your own kid's leather jacket. You're the coolest kid in primary/elementary school, matching with your dad.

-Being raised on Queen and ABBA.

-Getting given your own record player when you go to Hogwarts.

-Having an overprotective uncle Regulus who secretly hopes you'll be in Slytherin.

-Getting majorly spoiled by said Uncle Regulus. He'd just be such a sweetheart to you <3

-He's really good with kids but no one, himself included, knows how.

-Having Mcgonagall as your unofficial Grandmother. If you ever get in trouble in Hogwarts, she would scold you, but with a fond smile on her face.

-She did the exact same thing with the Marauders.

-She definitely sent weekly letters to your dads about how you were doing in Hogwarts during 1st year.

-Being a sassy little shit. With Remus and Sirius as your parents, and Lily helping raise you too? You're the sassiest child the world has ever seen.

-Mastering Remus' eye roll at the age of four.

-If you play Quidditch, your entire family showing up to support you (and low key embarrassing you)

-Getting an excess amount of hugs, especially from Sirius. His baby just came back from shopping? Set down the bags and give your old man a hug. You've just gotten of the Hogwarts Express? Maybe he'll finish cuddling you by the time you have to leave again.

-Siriusly, So. Many. Hugs.

-Little forehead kisses from Remus.

-Just so much love in general.

-You growing up to be one of the smartest kids, but never once doubting how much you are loved by your dads, or by the rest of your family.

-And so much more!

[cr-amber]

navigation

i've decided to finally be fancy and tell you where all my stuff is in one place!

my ao3: where i publish all my fics that are longer than microfics!

multi-chapter fics

i think that possibly, maybe i'm falling for you: drarry wip, 11/13 chapters, rated e, 35.5k words currently

Harry runs into Draco working at a coffee shop fifteen years after the war, and he’s nothing like Harry remembers.

featuring trans draco, plus size harry, and their lives coming together in the muggle world

perfect little life: jegulus raising harry, 5/5 chapters, rated e, 6.5k words

Just a collection of snapshots from the life of Jegulus raising Harry and being hot and in love.

featuring trans regulus, wolfstar as harry's uncles, and a delicious lil explicit scene at the end

oneshots

jegulus

the one where sirius is an accidental matchmaker: rated t, 2.2k words, american muggle au, getting together

sirius accidentally (read: forgetfully) ditched regulus for a date with remus so james takes him to a movie instead

bad day: rated e, 1.2k words, trans regulus

Regulus had a bad day. James makes it better.

desperate prayers of a cursed man: rated m, 2.1k words, canon compliant, based on dear reader by taylor swift

He knew he was aiming at the devil. He knew he couldn’t miss. But he had.

you're on your own, kid: rated t, 3.9k words, black brothers focused, based on the taylor swift song

Regulus is on his own. He always has been. Right?

your secret admirer: rated t, 1.7k words

Regulus writes James a secret admirer letter.

call him pretty: rated m, 1.2k words, head boy james is dating regulus

In which Regulus is a simp who has no filter when he’s drunk and misses his boyfriend.

kiss me goodnight: rated e, 4.1k words, my take on the red room scene from rwrb but make it jegulus, trans regulus

James “So I guess I should tell you I’m bisexual” Potter and Regulus “Good to know. I am very, very gay” Black finally get together.

not exactly a secret: rated t, 1.1k words, relationship reveal

James never used to sleep in the head boy dorm, but now he has a reason to. A reason that has been a secret, but won't be for much longer.

you don't even like me: rated t, 1.6k words, mutual pining

In which James has a hopeless crush on Regulus and Regulus has a hopeless crush on James and they each handle it in very different ways.

drarry

you're the one i like the best: rated t, 4.5k words, drarry as professors, inspired by little person by matt maltese

A chance Draco/Harry reunion in a different country, an invitation for them both to teach at Hogwarts, and a friendly seeker’s match. What could possibly happen?

fresh plates and clean slates: rated t, 1k words, holiday/new years vibes, inspired by snow by sleeping at last

Harry’s friends have helped him learn to be a human again after the war, but Draco hasn’t been so lucky, so Harry takes it upon himself to do the same for the man he loves over the holidays.

wolfstar

something to tell you: rated t, 0.7k words, getting together

Sirius has something to tell Remus. It goes better than he expected.

rosekiller

hits different ('cause it's you): rated t, 2.2k words, post bartylus breakup, based on hits different by taylor swift

Evan takes Barty out to help get his mind off his breakup with Regulus.

microfic

all my microfics

wolfstar microfics

drarry microfics

jegulus microfics

my writing: every post in which i've talked about my writing, written something, or shared a snippet!

*do not repost my works to any other site*

[z0mbieb0ybyersblog]

★ smut | ♥︎ fluff/humor | ᯾ angst | ✧ mature

✔︎ completed | ✍︎︎ still in progress/incomplete | ⏼ not out yet

How Lily Evans met the Marauders | ✔︎ |

└▸ modern au (still magical) | ♥︎ | 1k words

the chaotic telling of how Lily Evans met the true (animagus) Marauders

Like Real People Do | ✍︎︎ |

└▸ modern muggle au | ♥︎ ★ ᯾ | ** words

A Marylily and Jegulus fic where both couples raise baby Harry

James and Lily's love story started in high school and continued into college. But their relationship took an unexpected turn when Lily became pregnant, and they realized while yes they still loved each other, they loved each other platonically, and they were better off as friends. But, they both agreed to be there for each other and be the best parents for baby Harry.

Meanwhile, Mary, Lily's lifelong best friend, has always harbored a secret love for her. As they explore their feelings for each other, James finds himself in a gay crisis as he realizes that he might be falling for his friend's brother.

and it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before before | ✔︎ |

└▸ modern muggle au | ♥︎ ᯾ | 1.5k words

"But it's not real and you don't exist and I can't recall the last time I was kissed It hits me in the car. And it feels like the end of a movie I've seen before.."

Jegulus fluff and angst with Jilly endgame

Jegulus Headcanons | ✔︎ |

└▸ | ♥︎ ✧ | 329 words

A mix of fluffy and smutty head canons

Santa Baby | ✔︎ |

└▸ Christmas smut | ✧ ♥︎ |

It’s Regulus’ first Christmas at the Potters, and James is quite hesitant about the situation, especially considering his feelings for the younger Black brother. James isn’t quite sure if he can hold back from Regulus.

Wild Hearts | ︎✍︎︎ |

└▸ cowboy modern au | ★ ♥︎ ᯾ ✧ | — words

Sirius Black is a runaway, burdened by a troubled past, who escapes the confines of his old life and seeks refuge, looking for work on a remote ranch.

The ranch is owned by Remus Lupin, a rugged cowboy who keeps to himself, haunted by his own secrets. Who is looking to hire someone to work on the farm with him because Remus is unable to do the work alone after a farm accident that left one of his legs permanently disabled. Remus had other farmhands but needed someone to live on the ranch with him and take care of the rest of the work.

WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Wolfstar Kinktober 2024 | ︎✍︎︎ |

└▸ | ★ | — words

2024 Wolfstar Kinktober master list, basically just smut

Guilty Pleasure | ✔︎ |

└▸ | ★ | 11,146 words

Hate sex. With top James and bottom Barty in chapter one, and bottom James and top Barty in chapter two.

Just Go with it | ︎✍︎︎ |

└▸ x Fem!Reader | ♥︎ | — words

Faking dating

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Wanna play mermaids?

Barbie dolls: jegulus x reader (James, regulus, you)

Words: 3.4k ish

Summary: you and regulus work as mermaids at the renaissance fair and shockingly a lot of dads hit on you guys but what if one of them was hot?????? OH GOD PLEASE RELASE ME I WANT PEACE PLEASE GOD PLEASE

Warnings: your mermaid name is meryn, I personally think mermaid is a gn term but I understand why you wouldn't view it that way I was a mermaid kid so all I did was read books on them so to me personally I just feel like they wouldnt care about gender norms or gendered language BUT I UNDERSTAND so you and regulus are referred to as mermaids but there is no other gendered language, morden au, marylily is real, regulus is trans with stars around his top surgery scars and he's a tad insecure about the scars but it's cool, that's all.

You and your boyfriend, Regulus, loved working at fairs. You both had spent a very long time honing your costumes and characters. So when the biggest fair in your area hired you both, you were giddy. After you hung up, you and Regulus both screamed and jumped around the kitchen, holding onto each other. After waiting and picking at the fine details, the fair had finally opened again.

Every summer for about three months the fair on the outskirts of town was open. People dressed up, fairies, witches, queens, knights, regular old Renaissance peasants, came from all over to join in the festivities. Behind the large, fake, castle gates was a massive amount of care and love. People worked to fill their booths with handmade products. People spoke with old accents, calling out to thou to payeth for a large pretzel with your Chime credit card. You loved it. All the costumes, all the activities, all the love people put in, seeing the joy in children's eyes as they met real life mermaids. Even if it was just you and your  dumbass boyfriend in costume, it was real to them. You were even more excited to go to the one in town, you had seen how their mermaid tank was set up.

For quests they had to find the building with the painted mermaids all over it. It was open concept mostly, as most things at the fair were, no ac, all wood, and still beautiful. The building was mainly there for the gift shop, if the people wanted to see the real mermaids they'd have to follow the small stone path. Through a small arched gate, vines climbing up it, was a small winding garden path. Stunning flowers and vines growing around them as they made their way down the line. Eventually they'd turn the corner and see it. The large tank of water, usually with a mermaid inside. Around the tank were large fake rocks, making it look less like a tank and more like a tiny cave. Inbeaded in the rocks were gold dabloons and seashells. False seaweed twisting around the rocks. It was convincing enough for a child. Then there was another small path that led the guests out of the garden and back to the gift shop.

For the mermaids however, the path was different. You entered in through the gift shop, an employee showing you behind the beaded curtain in the back. Through there you found two doors, both painted teal that was now peeling and dim. Through the door on the left was a bathroom aka changing room. Through the door on the right was a small pool, the half of the tank that wasn't visible to the public. On two of the walls there was a space to walk, sidewalk wide. There were regular old swimming pool steps off in the corner, a lovely space to sit and take a break in your opinion. Then across from the door was an entryway. It started at the bottom of the tank and raised all the way up to just above the water. You entered the tank for the children to see you by getting into the pool and then swimming through the entry. It was most definitely one of the nicer set ups. There was one time where you showed up and found a troft waiting for you.

You and Regulus had gotten dressed, slid into your tails, and flipped yourselves into the pool all within an hour. You still had about thirty minutes to waste before you were needed outside. You had noticed that Regulus was quieter than usual but you just assumed he was tired. It was early in the morning and he was more of a night owl. Though now as you were both sitting on the steps, passing time in silence, you felt worried. You nudged his shoulder with yours. You asked him if he was alright and he seemed to sink. He shrugged. There a moment of silence before be started whispering to you.

"I'm just worried someone might say something." You raised an eyebrow at him.

"About?" Regulus rolled his eyes and gestured at his chest. He had scars, but so did millions of people. Regulus once vented to Sirius about his insecurities over his scars and Sirius offered the solution of tattoos. Of course he would. Regulus took it though. He went and got stars littered around them. Regulus was definitely more confident in them when you were alone or with friends but he always seemed to get a little antsy before working. You shrugged.

"Has anyone said anything before?" You already knew the answer. You just needed to remind him of it. Regulus pinched his lips together, shaking his head. "Then why would anyone say something now? What makes this job any different?" Regulus sighed and dropped his head on your shoulder.

"I have no real merit behind my anxieties." You nodded. You pressed a kiss to his forehead, glad he finally came to a proper conclusion. You slipped off the step, dropping to your shoulders in  the water. Regulus soon joined you. You swam through the opening. The outside part of the tank was much nicer than the inside. It was still early in the morning, the fair opening accnoucment started at 7:40 but no one really entered the fair until 8 ish. If you looked to the side you could see the sunrise. Regulus' head popped up out of the water next to you. You smiled at him. There were two small false rocks with flat tops in the two corners at the front.

You loved how Regulus looked in this lighting. He glanced over at you when he noticed you staring at him. Regulus rolled his eyes and made his way over to the corner across from you. He plopped himself down on the rock and rested his arm over the edge of the tank.

His tail was purple. You were there when he got his inspiration. You and Regulus were shopping for Luna's third birthday present when a little girl ran up to him holding up her Barbie doll. She kept pointing at them both. You saw the similarities instantly. It was a little mermaid doll with short black hair and a purple and blue tail. After her mother came running around the corner apologizing a million times and throwing the girl over her shoulder. Regulus turned to you. You shrugged and looked back to the dinosaurs. Luna was going through a dinosaur phase. She only wanted dinosaurs. Dinosaur chicken nuggets, dinosaur socks, dinosaur cereal, if it wasn't dinosaurs she wasn't having it. Regulus sniffed. You looked over at him. He was wiping at his eyes. You wanted to laugh a little. He was crying over a Barbie. All things considered though you've done the same so you hugged him and cooed.

Now he really was a spitting image of the doll. Your tail was orange. For no other reason than you thought it looked cool. You kept flapping your tail over Regulus'. He looked away from the garden to glare at you. A man in full peasant garb came around the corner, scrolling on his phone. He turned it off and shoved it into his leather pouch attached to his belt. He smiled at you two.

"Hey you guys, I'm John. I'm basically going to be right by you guys at all times if you need anything, if anyone gets weird. And also so I can direct people towards the exit but majority I'm here to support you." You both nodded at John. You shook his hand, introducing yourself and Regulus with both your names and mermaid names. Regulus gave John a short wave before looking back out at the garden.

"Yeah we're already having a line build up out there, your first meeting time is at 8:30, that's when the gate opens. Then the second meeting time starts at 9:30. And then so on and so forth, but after 11:30 that's it until 1:30 so we all have lunch time then." John explain, pulling his phone out the scroll down the schedule. You didn't have the heart to tell him you already knew the schedule.

After Regulus had celebrated with you for the first 5 minutes of finding your new job he was pulling out his laptop and reaserching everything. He took notes. Color coordinated notes. Regulus then helped you memorize everything. From the schedule to the blueprints to the faux accents people put on. He even went over your characters' lore with you again.

However you appreciated John's kindness to explain the schedule to you anyways. So you thanked him. You decided if he didn't run off to have lunch with his other peasant friends you'd find a way to get your lunch outside and eat with John. John notified you when the other workers opened the gate.

Quickly after that the first family was rounding the corner, jumping over the vines. Regulus fixed his posture, sitting up straight and smiling wide at the little boy. He was clutching onto a cloth mermaid doll like it was his lifeline. He squealed when you both waved at him. he was quickly advancing on you two, leaving his loser family behind. He was more interested in Regulus than he was you. The little boy told Regulus his favorite color was actually blue. He also explained siren lore to Regulus. Regulus smiled and nodded along. The boy asked Regulus what his name was. Regulus pressed his finger to his lips before pointing to you.

"His name is Llyrrick." You said, smiling at the boy. He pouted looking back to Regulus. Regulus had quickly realized after your first few jobs, talking to people for that long, masking for that long really, was extremely tiring. So you both adapted. Suddenly Llyrrick just didn't talk and Meryn, you, was talking double time.

"Do you not talk?" The little boy asked, tilting his head to the side at Regulus. Regulus pinched his lips together, shaking his head no. The boy's smile grew, letting out an excited squeal. He quickly ran back to his family, who was standing awkwardly next to the tank. He latched onto what looked to be his older sister. She looked to be only a few years older than him. He dragged her over to Regulus.

"This is my sister, she doesn't talk either. So sometimes I talk for her at restaurants and stuff, like you." He said smiling at you. Regulus smiled brightly, waving at them both. The girl looked more than giddy to meet a mermaid who was like her, her smiling biting back at her cheeks. Regulus held up his finger before flopping himself off his rock seat. He quickly swam back through the opening. Both the kids looked back to you, with sad looks, scared he was running away from them.

"Llyrrick is getting you two presents. Hey do you two where we merfolk keep our money?" They both shook their heads at you. "At the riverbank." You giggled at your own joke, even though you didn't really find it funny. Both the kids chuckled at your joke. You kept running off puns to keep them entertained. Regulus was back in few more seconds. He pulled himself back into his rock seat. Regulus reached into his now soaking cloth bag. It was small but it held a lot of false mermaid coins. Regulus reached into the bag and pulled out two, dropping one in each of the children's hands. You both waved them off as John pointed them to their way out of the garden.

You and Regulus gave each kid a coin before they left. Some of them spent more time talking to you, some talking to Regulus more, and some just stared at you both in silence. As the hours passed you started looking more and more to your lunch. You loved watching the childrens' excitement at seeing real life mermaids, but it was still tiring. Lunch was quickly approaching, you were already at the end of your 11:30 line.

"Sorry, he doesn't know how to flirt. He just kinda stares with his mouth open." She whispered to you, trying not to disturb Harry The Number One Mermaid Fan and Llyrrick's conversation. You shrugged.

The last family was rounding the corner. A small boy and three adults following after him. The boy was in jorts, light up lighting McQueen sneakers, a red shirt with a cartoon mermaid plastered on the front, and glasses too big for his face. He looked to be 7 or so. He was holding onto what was most definitely his father's hand. They looked like carbon copies, even in matching glasses.

Behind them both were two beautiful women.  One was in all green, with long red hair and the other was in as many bright colors you could imagine, her curly hair pulled into two buns. If you didn't already think it was the hottest set of parents you most certainly did now.

The man had a mustache that could truly only be described as a pornstache. Even worse, he made it hot. His muscles were large. You felt sympathy for his tshirt sleeves. You slowly turned your head to stare at Regulus. He gave you the exact 'you seeing this?' look you were giving him. You smiled and turned back to them as they got closer.

The little boy was dragging his father to the edge of your tank, his two mums following behind them. You thought they were the hottest throuple you ever did see. If you were the mirror mirror on the wall and they asked you who was the finest of them all you'd consider death. It'd be easier than picking. The boy smiled at you two as his father froze at the edge of the tank. You said hello to the boy as Regulus waved. He introduced himself as Harry, The Number One Mermaid Fan. You smiled at him. He talked to you both. Regulus gave him encouraging looks. Regulus crossed his arms over the edge of the tank, dropping his chin on his forearms.

You noticed the father was staring at you both. It unfortuently wasn't as uncommon as you wished it was.  A lot of people would stare, most of them making you uncomfortable. You glanced over at him. His jaw was slack and his shoulders slumped, making him look like a child salivating at a candy store window. You stared back, raising an eyebrow at him. The red headed woman came up from behind him, giving you a smile.

"I'm not flirting with your husband. I'm actually just sitting in a tank. Us merfolk don't flirt we give each other seaweed bouquets for courtship." You stated blankly. It wasnt the first time a partner of someone has chewed you out for looking at their loved one. Apperantly an orange fish tail was quite flirtatious.

"Oh gross no. I'm married to her, not him. Anyways just give us a second." She pulled the man away, over toward the other woman. They both gave you a small smile before gripping onto the man's shoulders. You continued to talk to Harry The Number One Mermaid Fan and ignored them entirely. As Harry started to ask Regulus more questions about sea life, all of which Regulus answered, the father came back up to you clutching his phone tightly. He had shinked into himself, looking as small as a buff as shit dude could.

"Excuse me, sorry I don't mean to be irritating, but do you think it's possible I could get both your numbers?" He was muttering so quietly you barely even heard him. You looked over to Regulus. He was already staring at you. Regulus gave you a light nod before answering Harry's question on the economy system with his hands, John stepped over to him, pressing his hand to the father's chest, giving him a light shove.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave." John whispered. You reached out and tugged on the edge of John's shirt.

"Thank you, John. It's alright." John looked back at you to check a second time that you were speaking and not clone. You nodded. John looked back to the father, looking him up and down with the stink eye before moving away.

As John shut the exit gate you looked at Regulus. He groaned and slumped lowing into the water. You nodded, understanding completely. Regulus stared at you, you could see his admiration simmering under his gaze. You gave him a knowing look as he continued to slip lower and lower under the surface of the water. You rolled your eyes as his head disappeared under the water before popping up next to you again. Regulus pushed him up next to you on your rock seat, dropping his head on your shoulder and interlocking your elbows.

"Well I can't give you my cell phone number but i can give you my Shell-phone number" Your smile grew as you said your own pun. The man started laughing at your joke as he opened his contacts. You warmed, most people ignored your puns. Who would've thought a dad would enjoy your dad jokes?

You quietly whispered your number and real name to him. He was giddily smiling the whole time, giggling as he entered in the numbers. When you were done you looked over to Regulus, silently asking if he was sure you can gave his number away. Regulus sent you a wink and pulled his hand out from under the water, a shell in his palm.

On occasion, you genuinely wondered if he was a mermaid because you never packed shells but he always had pulled some out from nowhere. You turned back to the man listing off Regulus' number and his real name. The man was bouncing on his heels. He looked to be fighting off the urge to do a jig in celebration.

Just as you were finishing handing off Regulus' number, Regulus was dropping two coins into Harry's hands. The man thanked you a million times before lifting the boy off his feet with ease and throwing him over his shoulder. The boy squealed and laughed as the four of them left. Both of the women sent you two bright smiles.

"He was hot." Regulus whispered against the skin of your wet shoulder.

"Fuck, I know. Jeez Louise." Regulus nodded understanding your exasperation. He gently kissed your shoulder, sitting up. He looked back at John.

"Thanks, John." John stared at Regulus with wide eyes. You looked over your shoulder to smile at John.

"Right well, I'm going to go to pop over to the food court. I'm going to wander around a bit but I'll be back before 1:00, okay?" John said. You both gave him a nod. He left through the garden.

You and Regulus ate lunch in the inside tank. After that you both continued to meet more children and families. As the Fair closed for the day, you were slightly ashamed to say you glad. You and Regulus were out of your tails, not bothering to wipe off the painted scales on your faces. All the guests had left, you both leaned on each other as you left through the faux castle walls. Staying in a pool all day and being exhausted made your legs slightly wobbly.

"Mm bath, dinner, bed?" Regulus muttered, his voice slightly hoarse from not using it all day.

"Would you still love me if I said, A bath is too much energy?" You really weren't sure if you could last another second in water. Regulus hummed.

"Okay, Dinner, stinky bed time?" You nodded against his arm. He dropped a kiss to your forehead as he lead you through the parking lot.

"Glad we got that sorted, now the question is what are we having for dinner?" You groaned at Regulus asking you so many questions.

"Hey maybe that guy from earlier will be up for coming over. I'm entirely positive he won't mind being dinner, he was jumping up and down getting your number." You offered. Thinking about real answers was too hard.

"Really? I was thinking noodles." Regulus muttered, his tone flat. You lifted your head off his shoulder and smiled at him, lightly pecking his cheek.

“Noodles work.” Regulus nodded, pulling you off towards your car.

[reysdriver]

Heyyy! I'm back!! Sorry I haven't interacted with your posts in a while!!

Could I please have some jegulus raising Harry?? Unless you prefer to do x reader??

Hey Bella!! I'm so sorry about how late I am on answering this, but I'm letting you know that I'm working on 2 oneshots about this; one is an x reader with James, and one with Regulus!

I can tag you in the posts if you want! thank you for sending this in, and again I'm sorry this ask has been sitting in my inbox for so long!