#jeez i could go on an entire rant about her but not right now

[mostly-osc-doodles]

// Inanimate Insanity Episode 15 Spoilers

Mostly OSC Doodles #26:

We interrupt your regularly scheduled ONAF Week art to bring you Inanimate Insanity angst.

...But like seriously, that episode was AWESOME and emotionally painful.

[openconceptpanicroom]

The Secret Life of Songbirds

(Chapter One) - How you met

Iori Utahime x fem!reader

Summary: A collection of brief (and not-so brief) glimpses into the love story between you and Utahime.

Notes: reader is a queer menace, Utahime is having a gay panic, mutual pining, awkward flirting, fluff, angst, references to implied homophobia.

April, 2003- That’s a Pretty Girl

You were the second sorcerer in your family. And a late-bloomer too. One day you were just a regular girl going to school in Tokyo, the next… this. For three years now, you were a part of this strange world. Trained by an uncle you never knew you had, as he had been the first sorcerer in your family.But nothing, not curses or brutal training regimens, could have prepared you for her.

Your first day at Tokyo Jujutsu High, was when you first saw her. She stood so still, hands gripping her hakama with white knuckles. Unlike the rest of your new classmates, she wore the clothing of a shrine maiden. Her dark hair was neat and tied into two loose ponytails. A round face, bright eyes. And she was staring right back at you.

“Oi, what’re staring at?” your uncle elbowed your back. Had he been talking? You would never know. Startled, you blurted out the truth. Loudly.

“Pretty girl!”

The shrine maiden, and many others waiting to enter the school for orientation, heard you. Your hands went over your mouth and you watched that “Pretty girl” turn bright red. Once your uncle saw who you were referring to, he yanked you back and gave you her name. Iori Utahime, a member of a well-respected Jujutsu clan. Not someone you should be loudly declaring you find attractive, even if you weren’t both girls.

You shrugged, “A pretty girl is a pretty girl, uncle. You know I’ve got a weakness!”

“I’m tryin’ to keep you alive, kid! I meant it when I said I don’t care that you like girls, but she’s an exception,” he shook you slightly at the shoulders. Dramatic old man. Though you still heard snickering from your new classmates, you didn’t feel as embarrassed as you thought you would. In fact, you started to turn your head to see if she was still there.

“Utahime, huh? That’s a nice name—“

Your uncle grabbed your face in one hand and made pushed his face close to yours, “Do you only listen to every other word I say?!”

His rant only drags on, with him shaking your face in his hand while you daze off. Utahime.

May, 2003- On the same team

In the first few weeks of school you learned a lot. You went home to your uncle exhausted most days, bruised body and tired out brain. At school, some of your focus was taken up by that pretty shrine maiden you weren’t supposed to get too close to. For a sorcerer from a respected clan, she sure acted like a regular girl.

Utahime liked a lot of modern music, especially sports. She was easily startled, and even easier to anger. You watched from your seat as she berated a boy who tried to accuse her of being a crybaby. While she was crying over some baseball player being traded to another team. It kinda made you laugh, at first. When the boy didn’t let up, you stood, “Don’t make fun of her just because she knows how to show a fucking emotion.”

Again, far more people had heard you than you intended. Heads turned, curious. The silence was long. Ah, maybe your reaction was a bit strong?You cleared your throat and said, “Lay off Iori-chan, eh? She can cry if she’s sad.”

Utahime wiped her cheeks, “I… I do not need your help!”

Right, you almost forgot about it, Utahime’s bizarre dislike of you. From the first day onward, she just didn’t seem to like you. She would actively ignore you sometimes. You assumed it was because you embarrassed her. But jeez, it had been weeks. All you could do was sit back down as class began.

Later that day, students were divided into groups of three. Each trio, or duo, would be set that way for their entire time spent at Jujutsu High. These partnerships may even last after graduation. You were a bit nervous to hear who you would be placed with, but were pleased by the results.

You, a reserved girl named Mei Mei, and Iori Utahime.

At lunch, you gathered your new team together. Mei Mei was all class. Beautiful but cold and with the confidence of a grown woman. Hard to believe she was the same age as you or Utahime. Mei Mei didn’t hide what motivated her, money. You could respect her honesty. Utahime wasn’t offering up any information. Only eating her bento with her back hunched as she sat beneath the cherry blossom tree with you both.

“So, what’s your special technique?”

Utahime put both hands in her lap and crowed, “My technique allows me to amplify the abilities of my allies tenfold through the art of dance!”

She was cute like this, chest all puffed up and proud. You grinned at her, “Dance, huh? You must be really good at it.”

The earlier tension in her shoulders had eased. Utahime looked at you without turning her head, as if trying to hide the fact that she was talking specifically to you. No offense taken on your part. Plus, you were starting to get the hint that she was a bit jumpy.

“I suppose so…” a hint of pink was already spreading across her face.

You leaned in closer to her, “I’m a shit dancer. Maybe you could teach me sometime?”

Utahime jumped to her feet, “I will not teach the Iori Clan’s ancient techniques to someone like you!”

Unfazed, you said, “I can settle for watching you dance to make me stronger, then.”

A chocked guffaw left her mouth as she declared, “I’ll never dance for you!”

“Why not?” There was a pout on your lips that kept drawing her eyes there.

“Because… because… you’re so… ugh!” Utahime grabbed her half-eaten lunch and stormed back inside.

Mei Mei let out a soft laugh, amused by the free show. You turned to her, “Was it something I said?”

Smoothly, Mei Mei collected her things and stood as well. She looked down at you through pale lashes, “You’re both hopeless.” Mei Mei ignored your begging to explain herself as she left you beneath the cherry blossom tree.

[untitledgirl5173]

5 Steps for taking care of my Nico

From the last entry of the diary of Nishikino Maki. Comes a step by step guide for taking care of Nico Yazawa. A 10k NicoMaki Fic

Can broken hearts ever truly heal from loss? AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43393869

From the diary of Nishikino Maki. 

Final Entry. Nishikino Maki

Dear Diary, I guess I won’t be needing you anymore. I suppose that’s what happens to all little girls right? I'm 15 and I should be over such girlish things. And yet I can’t get over my most girlish infatuation if I'm honest, diary. Nico Yazawa, She’s brutish, Short tempered, Annoying… And I'm in love with her. Life’s cruel like that huh? Ever since I first met we fought all the time, I had no patience for such an infuriating girl. And somehow through all that she latched onto me and never left. Our fights became more playful and I found myself so lonely without her. I never stop teasing and messing with her and somehow through all her annoyance I can't help but smile.

Anyway, onto the point of this entry. For all and any future friends or lovers of Nico Yazawa. I have elected to list five ways to effectively tame the beast that is Yazawa Nico-chan.

The club room was empty a lot recently and yet Nico always found herself there after school. It's my last day as a student. Why shouldn’t I take it to its fullest? She often thought to herself. And yet nothing felt colder and reminded her of the past more than an empty clubroom. Not even the flag Muse had won from ‘Love Live!’ could make it brighter. Especially not with Maki-chan missing from it…… The raven haired girl thought idly to herself. Her old computer whirred to life slowly as Nico browsed idly through the web. Idol websites, Muse new single rankings, Medical reports Maki wanted her to read, Recommendations from Hanayo. All of it blurred together as Nico felt as if she had browsed for hours. Checking the clock she sighed in discontent. 30 minutes?? Nico-Nii needs a better time killer… She mused to herself as her thoughts ran back to Maki, The red head would be yelling at Nico for wasting time and looking all mopey. It's not cute to be all sad! Get a grip Yazawa! Nico grabbed her phone and texted the Muse group chat. 

>Is anyone free?

Rule 1: Never let Nico isolate herself. Nico-chan has a tendency to isolate herself from the world when she gets in a mood. I’ve learned to find her favorite spots to sit and mope and you will want to as well. She’s going to be a pain and insist she just wants to be alone, But trust me she wants you there. PS. If she cries, head rubs are her favorite. Jeez, Such a child.

Nico would never admit how happy she was when the flood of her annoyingly loud friends came tumbling in. Honoka was ranting about how unfair Umi was being, Eli and Nozomi would barely look anywhere but eachothers eyes like normal, And Rin was dragging her Hanayo around like a toy. Geez, What a trainwreck. Maki would be so annoyed if she were here right now Nico thought as she let out a small chuckle. The girls took their seats as they would any normal day. 

“Good afternoon Nico-chan~” came a dulcet alto tone from Kotori, The most considerate of their group and obviously the first to realize Nico was waiting. “Did you want to discuss something?” She asked in a sweet way that made it impossible to ever really be annoyed with her.

“I bet Nicochi was just lonely~” It was easier to be annoyed by the voice from Nozomi. The bigger girl shot a wink at Nico that's just annoyed her to no end. But what really annoyed her was that she was entirely correct.

“As if! I just think it's pretty rude of you underclassmen to spend less time with your graduating class just because the year is almost over!” Nico insisted with as straight a face as she could make at the time. Keep going… you might convince yourself it's not just her you miss .

Rule 2: Keep it interesting for her. Nico-chan has this infuriating habit of acting as if she’s the only rational one in a group of crazy people. That is to say she will act like she’s always annoyed even if she really is enjoying herself. Don't shrink under her annoyance, Keep it going and even more than before.

The girls of Muse fell into their normal routines like no time had passed. Nico watched them all and let a soft smile creep onto her face. Even with all the liveliness in the room everyone felt the absence of Maki. Nico kept staring at the seat they left for her out of habit, Even if it had been a bit since she sat there. 

“A-Ahem. I did call you all here for a reason” Nico announced in a lull of conversation, anything to get herself out of her own head. She produced a little sack full of small boxes in them.

“Ooooo! Now I'm excited!” Honoka said, practically leaning over the table to see.

“As your senpai I felt… compelled to give you all something to remember me by” Nico said with a proud and smug grin on her face.

Rule 3: Gift giving is her secret guilty pleasure. Nico-chan loves gifts more than anyone knows, Receiving and giving. I think it's one of her cuter traits honestly. Honoka-chan always calls her a ‘Tsundere’. I never really knew what that was but it feels accurate. Anyway, The point is that if you see anything that reminds you of her. No matter how small it is, It will be huge to her

Nico walked gently across the street, Taking note of the sunset and the people walking all around her. They all looked so content with their lives. The stress of the day collapsed Nico on a park bench outside of her destination. She felt sicker than she ever had just thinking about it all. Maybe I should just leave for now… She thought to herself as the world spun around her.

A blonde blurry figure came into focus right next to her as the nausea subsided. “Nico-chan you look horrible… Are you sleeping at all?” An authoritative voice from one Eli Ayase said. The Russian leaned down to feel Nico’s head. “You don't have to do all this everyday for-” She began to speak before her comforting hand was swatted away.

“Don’t tell me what I have to do for her!” Nico said with a sudden burst of anger fueled energy. She wasn’t mad at Eli, She knew Eli had practically a mothers sense of when someone felt awful. “I can sleep later! But I only get this chance to see her!!” She yelled out as tears flew out from her eyes to the floor. In her anger the bag she carried dropped revealing to the blonde a series of books and a baked treat made special by Nico.

Eli didn't speak for a long moment, She reached down and grabbed the bag. She gently moved Nico and sat next to her. No words were spoken as Eli rested Nico on her shoulder and held her gently in a hug. She stayed as the rock Nico needed right now, Letting tears fall from the girl and stain her shirt.

“Maki-chan will like the cookies.” Eli said softly as she rubbed Nico’s head gently. “She always looks forward to your food.” The blonde added as if to encourage her to go inside. Of course she’d never blame Nico for not wanting to. After all, who ever wants to enter a hospital?

Rule 4: Let her cook for you. Nico-chan loves cooking more than anything in the world. It's something she picked up from looking after her siblings for so many years. If she cares for you at all she’ll insist upon cooking for you all the time. Thankfully she’s the best cook I've ever met. 

The Nishikino family hospital was a place Nico had been multiple times when her father was sick. She hated the place, The walls so clean you could see yourself in them, The floor so clean you could eat off them. This isn’t where someone goes to live. She thought bitterly to herself as she walked down its floors. The squeaks and beeps of the hospital ambience made her sick to even think about. Had this place not tortured Nico enough? 

“Why does she have to be here too?”

Rule 5: Keep her safe for me. I know my time is short, I should be mad that it's ending so soon. But all I can think about is her and how she’ll handle it all. I know she won't sleep well for a long time, She probably won't eat well either, SHe’ll bury herself in responsibilities. To whoever sees what I see in her next. Promise me she’ll be taken care of if I'm not here for her. Okay?

Nico walked in during a coughing fit from the redhead in front of her. She had just closed her diary and set it down on the table. Nico paused for a moment and watched her with tears welling in her eyes. No. Like I did with daddy, Be strong Nico-chan. Nico Nico Ni! She practically repeated on loop in her head. She put on her best smile as she walked into Maki’s hospital room. 

“Bad form Maki-chan, Not greeting your senpai” Nico said with a fake sense of sarcasm. Maki was always so beautiful to her and yet… She looked frail and broken now. It was worse everytime Nico saw her. In her nightmare Nico worried she’d forget what Maki was like, healthy and full of life.

“Hmph. And inflate your ego more?” Maki responded with a weak smile. She reached her hand out to grasp Nico’s. Nico obliged as she sat next to her bed, Putting on her bravest face for a dying girl. “Are you staying again? Are you sure that’s ok?” Maki shifted her tone to one of genuine worry.

“Hey… I asked you not to talk like that. Nico wants to stay for you” Nico squeezed her hand softly feeling how cold it was that brought her nightmares at night. Try as she did, Nico knew she’d never warm that hand up again.

“...Forever?” Maki asked like a scared little girl wanting comfort, It broke Nico’s heart. The pigtailed girl leaned over and softly kissed Maki on the cheek. As cold as it was Nico still treasured every kiss she could get. Any chance to remember how Maki felt at all.

“Of course. It’s you and me forever princess”

In conclusion, Nico-chan is the best thing that ever happened to me. I can go peacefully believing that one day she will be ok without me. So to whoever is seeing this. Take care of my Nico. Please.

- Nishikino Maki

[neylia18]

hi! this is my first time asking for anything so i'm really nervous can you please write male reader confessing to endorsi it's okay if i could be the 💚 anon? if you don't want to do any of this that's fine too thank you so much 💚

Confession

Never apologize for asking! I’m totally comfortable writing a male reader! I just take forever to actually write 😅

It’s short but I hope you like it!

Ship: Male!Reader x Endorsi

Genre: Fluff

Endorsi Jahad, the princess who can fight in heels, chase you down, and looks good at everything she does. Also the girl who pursued Jue Viole Grace for the longest time before finally letting him go.

‘How am I supposed to compete with him?’

‘Better question… How did I fall for a woman who isn’t even allowed to date in the first place?’

It wasn’t like you had nothing to go off on. You are pretty handsome, despite being doubtful about yourself, and you can fight off a couple regulars on your own. It’s just that Endorsi has a bit of… high standards. One in which you had to have a good face, attitude, and be pretty strong.

Which you fit in all those categories! But so did the Twenty-Fifth Bam.

But overall… Endorsi can be a bit loud, and harsh at times, despite her good intentions.

Which is why you’re hesitant to confess.

You almost opted out of it entirely. Better to watch the princess from afar than to risk her life by being by her side.

Until she grabbed you and said you were going out with her.

“Endorsi! Slow down!”

“Quit complaining and walk faster! Jeez, it's hard to find good guys nowadays.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s bad enough that Bam keeps rejecting me then I have to deal with your complaints! I just want a guy who has eyes for only me!”

“What if I have eyes for you and only you”

Stopping in her tracks, you almost run into her. Realization sets in as she takes back her hand. The only thing keeping you from not dying of embarrassment is the red hue on her ears.

‘Well it’s all or nothing now’

“Let me take you on a date Princess. I can show you that I meant what I said.”

“O-Ok. But if it’s not good then it means nothing alright! I’m not falling for you just because you're handsome!”

“You think I’m handsome?”

“S-Shut Up! You said you're gonna take me on a date right?! I don’t have all day!” The Princess turns with a huff.

Smiling brightly as her, you grab her hand as you lead her to the first of many dates you’ll take her too.

Indulging her rants and complaints while teasing her here and there. Taking her shopping, and eating a nice meal. Going out to surprise her with flowers when she’s distracted.

Walking back to the shared house with the others you pull her close.

“I really love you Endorsi and I want to treat you right if you’ll let me.” You say to her looking in her amber eyes.

“I love you too Y/N, it took you long enough to confess.”

“Wait, you like me back? What about Bam?”

“Of course I was into Bam at first, but over time I realized that you were the one by my side. But you never made the first move, that is why I kept asking Bam to go out with me so that you can finally break out of your shell.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Please Y/N, I’m a Princess, I may have made the first move with Bam but I was not going to do that twice. Besides, it's fun playing hard to get.” She said with a playful smirk.

Chuckling you lean in close to Endorsi, watching her face flush with a bright pink. “We’ll now I’m never letting you go.”

Art Credits:

(2nd Image) Twitter: @yibtonggweiz

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[guardmesherlock-rowan]

Surprises for Henry - 2021

Word count: 1163 Date: 09/16/2021 For: Henry Jekyll Birthday 2021

“Welcome home.”  Edward called out as Henry pulled his suitcase inside his little home.  It wasn’t a surprise to see Edward there, but that he had made time to come see him.  Unless he had been crashing there the entire time.

“Thank you, did you miss me?”  

“Nah,” Edward tossed an orange peel onto Henry’s coffee table, his eyes glued to his phone.  “Was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by.”  He relaxed into the cushions watching Henry bring the suitcase to the bedroom.  “How was your trip?”

“It was productive.”  Henry placed it inside his bedroom and turned to look at his brother and the equivalence of 3 oranges sitting on the table.  “Are you hungry?”  Edward perked up.

“You buying?”

Henry gave his brother a smile, “sure.”  

“Great!  There’s this cafe I’ve been wanting to try out that MC’s been going to, Sweet Whispers Cafe.  Come on.”  Edward was making a bee-line to the door, expecting Henry to follow along behind them.  

A public outing?  Not a good opportunity to talk about what Henry had been researching.  Henry inquired about the latest things Edward had been up to.  He filled their walk gushing about all his new projects.  An adventure movie, somehow also starring MC, a few tv shows he’s been looking at.  It all sounded good and safe.  Which was another concern in itself.  

“Sounds like you’ve been busy with work.”  The door chimed overhead as they walked into the cafe.  

“Yeah, a little too much.  I could go for a good work out.”  Edward rolled his shoulders in emphasis.  

“The gym down the street is pretty decent.”  The cashier added to the conversation.  No smile on her face, and never letting her eyes wander up from the screen in front of her.  “How can I help you today?”  

Edward leaned forward onto the counter, ordering the most tooth decaying concoctions they had on the menu plus a few sandwiches.

“And for you?”  He peered up at him.  Directing her question.

“I think my brother has us covered.”  He gave her a gentle smile.  

“Ah, and here I thought these were all for him.”

“They could be, got to keep my strength up.  Know any good trainers at the gym?”

She scoffed and then paused.  “You know, Adam might be a good fit for you.  Ask for him the next time you’re in.”

“Sure thing.”  Edward laughed at her while Henry paid.  Pretty sure Edward knew the cashier, but decided not to press it until later.  

Edward took the ticket and went to find a table for them.  Henry followed behind, “and how is everyone else?”

Edward stared over at the counter, tapping his finger on the table impatiently waiting for their order.  

“Edward.”  Henry tried to pull his brother's attention back to him.  “How is everyone else?  Last I knew you were hanging out with MC, Sherlock, Dr. Watson…”

“Eh, they’re alright.  It’s easy to push their buttons though.”  

“Anything fun and exciting?”

“A little,” Edward nodded to the back corner of the cafe.  Where Henry could see a brunette man in a purple hoodie staring down at a cappuccino with some kind of foam cat sitting in the cup.  “Apparently Moran likes this cafe too.”  

Henry let his face fall into a deadpan expression, “I see.”  They would need to discuss this later, it would be best if he was told of Edward’s plans.  Why would he want to be in the same place as Moran, did Edward want to get closer to M?  

“Excuse you?!” A shrill voice at the counter brought Henry’s and Edward’s attention back to the front.  Henry thought he saw Sebastian straighten up out of the corner of his eye.  The woman was screaming at the cashier who only leaned back with her arms crossed.  

“‘No’ means ‘no’ Lady, you can have your order as is, or use our current promotions.  But you’re not getting the promotions from 2 months ago.” A manager came charging from the back and pulled the cashier aside, whispering frantically to her.  The cashier threw her hands up in a huff and stomped into the back.  

“I’m sorry about that Ma’am, now which promotion were you talking about?”

“Jeez, didn’t realize we had Karen’s here.”  Edward shouted loud enough that the Lady went bright red, and were supported by murmured agreements from the tables nearby.

“Edward, please be mindful.  You don’t want any bad press for your upcoming projects.”

Edward waved a hand dismissively.  But whatever conversation took place between the manager and the loud woman were not held in quiet hushed tones.  The woman took her coffee and a bag to go, not making eye contact with people as she hurried out.  “Good riddance.”  

“If it was that easy to calm her I don’t think the cashier has good ‘people skills’.”  Henry spoke quietly.

“Nope.”  Edward bluntly agreed, waving at another employee as they brought out their drinks and multiple sandwiches.  Edward glanced down at his phone, “good plenty of time.”  

“Time for?”

“Time to enjoy our food.”  He said before digging in.  Before Henry had finished half his sandwich Edward and devoured 3 full ones and was making good headway on his monstrous drink.  

They ate in comfortable silence and left shortly after Moran did.  Edward led the way in the opposite direction of Henry’s place.  

“Where are we going?”

“A quick errand.”  Edward shrugged, before going off on a rant about how the directors talk to him differently in regards to him doing his own stunts compared to when he was a stuntman.  They came up to a small building and Edward walked right in and passed the check in to a small room off to the side, still rambling.  

Henry followed behind listening carefully to everything he had to say, even as they entered a dark room.  

“SURPRISE!”  The lights flashed on.  “Happy birthday!”  The small room was filled with balloons and streamers with MC up front excitedly welcoming him along with Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, the young Mikah Hudson, Inspector Lestrade, and a few random people he recognized from Edward’s small group of friends.  

“Oh!” He gasped, realizing he did manage to come home on his birthday.  “Thank you.”  He nodded to his little brother.  

“We had tried to insist on setting up in your home, but your Edward was adamant that we have it elsewhere.  Hope you don’t mind.”  Mycroft patted Henry on the shoulder.  

“Not at all.”  He gave his thanks to Mycroft, and appreciated that Edward had the foresight not to let clever men anywhere near what Henry could’ve brought home with him.  They would talk later.  In the meantime-

MC stepped close holding out a silly little hat.  Henry leaned down, appreciating the soft way her hands brushed against his face as she placed it on him.  “Happy Birthday Henry.”

“Thank you MC.” He took her hand and gave it a little squeeze.  Happy to be home.

[captainillogical]

Profoundly Yours Ch.3

Amity receives a love letter in her locker. Luz wants to help figure out who it is.

Cover art by my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

Ao3 mirror 

Several days pass with nothing else from Amity's secret admirer, until she gets to her locker after a particularly rough day. She just wants to go home and attempt to take a nap, the insomnia as of late has been awful and she’s not quite ready to admit it’s a problem. 

She opens her locker, this time there happens to be a letter rolled up into a little scroll and tied with ribbon. She grabs it, placing her books inside the locker and taking the rest of her things out that she wants to bring home in her bag. There aren't really a lot of other students around, and no one's even looking in her direction, so she unties the ribbon to take a peek right there instead of later.

Amity immediately locks up when her eyes scan the page.

You're the beauty amongst the filth in this school. 

I watch you as you walk the halls, the way you keep to yourself has me enthralled. 

I wonder what you're thinking about when you chew your pencil so. 

I wish to be that pencil, to feel your lips upon my lips. 

Someday soon, you shall be mine.

She quickly balls up the paper, shoving it into her bag so she can no longer see it, heart pounding in her chest. There’s this unsettling feeling at the pit of her stomach, and she feels a little nauseous. Okay, yeah, she's pretty creeped out. If she was on the fence about her admirer before, she definitely has a solid impression of the weirdo now. She feels the hairs standing up on her neck as her mind is racing - oh jeez is the person still waiting around for Amity to read their letter?!

She whips her head around in time to see Willow giving her a strange look quite a few feet away at her own locker, and decides she doesn't want to stick around any longer for a comment. Was she watching the entire time?

Amity then leaves in a hurry, but she doesn't want to go straight home anymore. She needs to be alone to think.

-

The only place she knows where she can be truly alone, is in her secret hideout in the library. She leaves her bag on the floor, with the note still inside it and grabs her diary off the shelf to sit at and write on the large beanbag on the floor, sinking into it and relaxing.

She has a lot on her mind.

She doesn’t know who at school would write her these, and doesn’t like that they’ve been watching her. She really only chews her pencil when she’s intensely concentrating on studying, and rarely are people around her then. She ends up writing a lot about her newfound paranoia, but even then, eventually the words on the page turn to her writing about Luz.

Again.

Her thoughts are plagued incessantly by Luz, and that’s a first in the entirety of Amity’s life. She never thought she could feel such intense feelings about another person - let alone a human. She can’t seem to help it, though. After a lot of reflection on her own part about the other girl, Amity can’t help but like her. A lot. She keeps writing, finding the words flowing so easy on the page - her eyes droop, tiredness from the week making itself present.

She doesn’t even realize when she’s blasted through writing four pages of absolute mush - and then she thinks she hears something soft knock on the bookshelf entrance door. 

She looks up, because she wasn’t sure she even heard a noise. She’s pretty tired, after all. Several seconds pass, and then there’s faint knocking again. Amity knows that Edric and Emira would just barge in, and the only other person that knows that her secret is here is.. the object of her affections.

“You can come in.” Amity says, judging herself at how quickly she’d allow Luz in. The human could’ve barged in, really, and she wouldn’t even be that offended - even though she knows Luz respects her privacy enough not to. There’s heavy scraping noises as the bookshelf opens for the other girl, Amity’s heart starts to speed up a little as she walks in and makes sure the entrance closes behind her. Large eyes stare back at her in concern, short hair flipped up in several directions as if she ran here.

“I know it’s not secret book club day, but Willow said you were acting weird by your locker earlier and then left in a rush.” Luz fumbles with her hands, Amity can’t help but notice. It’s a little strange. She’s worried about her - Amity feels her stomach do somersaults where she sits. “Are you okay?”

“She would say something, huh,” Amity slams her diary shut, almost forgetting that she was writing about the only other person in this room and tosses it onto the floor next to her as casually as she can. Luz’s eyes dart to it pointedly, and Amity curses in her mind. 

“Was it another letter?” Luz asks, and Amity’s a little surprised that she just knows. She nods. “Can I see it?”

“It’s in my bag,” Amity points to hers on the floor, and Luz digs inside for it, pulling out the wad of scrunched up paper. She raises her eyebrows in confusion at the state it’s in, and walks over to the spot Amity’s sitting at and plopping herself down right next to the other girl, sinking into the beanbag as well. Luz doesn’t seem bothered at all with the fact that she’s now sitting flush against Amity, the side of her legs, hips, and arms colliding with the other girls as she carefully unwraps the paper, making sure she doesn’t tear it.

Amity sits there in muted shock, all too aware of Luz’s body warmth against her own as she reads the letter. It’s starting to get too warm in here. She feels her own hands getting clammy. Why does Luz keep getting so close to her? Is this just how she is with all of her friends? She needs to pay more attention to how the human acts with Willow and Gus for reference at this point because she’s going to go crazy if she keeps analyzing all this. Amity’s never been like this with any of her friends, so why is Luz so comfortable with her?

Not to say that Amity actually minds at all.

“Amity.” Luz speaks suddenly, drawing her immediately out of her current train of thoughts with a startle. She meets the other girl’s gaze. “You’re sure it’s not someone in the majority of your classes? This is creepy.” She finishes with a frown, leaning further against her. “Who would write something like this to someone they like, and expect it to go over well?”

“I don’t know,” Amity replies truthfully. “It’s not like I ever catch anyone staring at me.”

“Ughhhhhhhhhh,” Luz groans, stretching her legs out and resting her head against the back of the beanbag. “I wasn’t sure on how to feel about these, but now I’m nervous that they’re going to get bold, or worse, try something in the middle of class,” She rolls her head over to face Amity, giving her a very serious look. “I don’t like the line about your lips, or especially the ‘you shall be mine’ bit.”

Amity feels her face flush, Luz taking up the majority of her senses. She tries not to look at her, her mind is reeling with thoughts like ‘haha oh Amity, imagine if she were jealous over this person? Wouldn’t that be something.’ “Considering they still haven’t bothered writing their name down, I think they’re too much of a coward to meet me face to face.”

“If it were me, I would’ve just came straight out with it. I don’t see the point of not just being honest with your feelings?” She rants out loud, clearly agitated. “Why bother hiding your feelings behind letters and anonymity, when that doesn’t help your case in the sake of romance? Just be forward!”

Amity avoids her eyes, knowing that her own face is incapable of hiding her own feelings for the other girl after she’s called out indirectly about her own feelings for the human.

“Being forward can be hard, though,” Is what comes out of Amity’s mouth, and Luz turns her head to directly stare at her, eyebrows raised in apprehensiveness.

“Are you defending your secret admirer?” She replies, and Amity feels her own face light up in embarrassment. She was only speaking for herself here, and now Luz thinks that she’s defending this creep?!

“N-no!” She retorts in a hurry, Luz’s confused face making her all the more flustered. “Not at all, I just understand that confrontations with your feelings can be hard,” She realizes what she’s saying as she remembers that Luz knows all about her own greatest fear, thanks to Grometheus. The expression on Luz’s face changes to something a little more knowingly as Amity’s stomach sinks - tone in the air changing. Luz opens her mouth to say something, a small grin turning the corners of her lips, and she cuts her off. -”not that I’d know anything about that. Anyway, whoever they are, I just hope they don’t try cornering me when I'm alone.”

“Hmmm,” Luz’s pupils fall on Amity’s face - said girl watches the brown specks in her eyes sparkle, her chest constricting when Luz meets her gaze. “I could always walk you to and from class if you’re that worried. I could be your knight! I can be protective and stuff! Although I kinda feel a little more like Westley from Princess Bride..” She finishes, excited at the prospect of her own suggestion, the meaning of it completely flying over her head.

“T-that’s..” Amity stutters, unable to stop herself from being affected by Luz’s boundless enthusiasm and the implications, whatever the hell Princess Bride is. “That’s not necessary at all. I can protect myself.”

“I know you can protect yourself Amity! Pretty sure you can beat me at arm wrestling any time,” Luz retorts with a snort, grin wide on her face as she wiggles her eyebrows at the other girl. Amity finds her stupidly endearing. “And beat me at loads of other things, but seriously, it might discourage the guy from approaching you if you always had a friend around.”

“I’ll think about it.” She says with a sigh, trying to not let her face fall at the way Luz says ‘friend’. “I don’t want to bring attention to myself, so..”

“I get it! Just let me know.” She smiles warmly at Amity, not knowing at all of what it does to her poor heart. “I did want your opinion on something, though, not to change the subject.. was reading this Azura fanfic the other day that had some interesting theories..”

“Yeah?” Amity perks up, interested.

“Yeah, so, remember that one scene with Hecate at the end of book four? So, this guy thinks that..” Amity mainly listens to the sound of her voice here, as Luz trails off about this specific writer’s off-color opinions about the possible end of the books. She does try to pay attention, but it’s so freaking difficult when it happens to be the one person she’d rather be kissing than anything else.

Ugh.

She needs to stop pining.

She finds her body relaxing as she gives minimal responses to Luz, other girl delving into deeper and deeper lore quite animatedly. It’s really fucking cute, honestly.

Her head feels so heavy here leaning against the bean bag, Luz warm against her side. She doesn’t even realize when she’s falling asleep, listening to the sound of the other girl’s light voice as she goes on and on about her own specific Azura end-book theories, comfort washes over her like a blanket..

-

She wakes up to the sound of soft humming of someone very familiar, and a page turning in a book. She doesn’t want to open her eyes just yet. It’s Luz, obviously - her brain catches on that detail almost immediately. What was she doing last? Ah, right, they were in her secret hideout. She realizes she’s somehow laying with her head in Luz’s lap, and she’s unable to comprehend how she got in this position in the first place. Another page turns, humming getting a little louder.

There’s a hand on her head, petting her hair. It’s gentle and tender in it’s motions, and Luz’s fingernails softly scrape her scalp. It feels really nice actually, so nice that she almost falls back asleep.. and then warm fingers graze the edge of the tips of her pointed ears, and she feels her entire body break out in a flush. The appendage stays there, resting against her skin; her heart beating wildly against her ribcage. Luz’s finger softly rubs against her sensitive outer lobe, and Amity’s knee-jerk reaction is to sit up immediately and clutch her ear like it was burned, yelping out loud embarrassingly. 

“Oh hey, you’re awake. I probably shoulda’ woke you up earlier, but I was pretty engrossed in this guy here,” She grins innocently, showing Amity the cover of one of her favorite fantasy novels. “You were also just so cute and peaceful that I couldn’t really bring myself to it..”

“U-um,” Amity stutters, face taking on a look identical to a tomato. She called you cute. She's physically incapable of moving, and can’t seem to force out any words, her brain is screaming at her - she was touching your ears! Luz! Ohhhhhh myyyyy g-

“Amity, are you okay? Your face is really red,” Luz points to her, her own cheeks starting to color as her eyebrows furrow. “Oh jeez, I wasn't doing something strange right? Don’t tell me I just did something super weird, I was just absentmindedly reading, I didn’t realize..”

-“No! No. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Amity lies, knowing full well this will be all she can think about for the next month. Stupid human and her friendly casual-ness, she’s going to be the cause of a heart attack in Amity. "I'm just sorry I fell asleep on you. How long was I out?"

"Nonsense! What are friends for anyway?" She replies almost nervously, frantically waving her hands. "...and three hours, give or take."

"Three hours?!" Amity hisses out, unable to comprehend that Luz let her sleep on her for that long. "I was supposed to be there for a family dinner tonight! They're gonna kill me."

"I'm sorry! I would've woken you up earlier if I knew you had to be somewhere! You've just seemed really tired lately is all.." Luz scratches her cheek sheepishly. 

Amity stares at the other girl. How the hell can she read Amity so well?! She feels like the blush on her face is constant at this point around Luz, and it's going to give her away any day now. 

"It's.. it's fine. They'll be mad no matter what excuse I'll give them, so.." She shrugs, trying to ignore the thoughts at the back of her mind. "I feel a lot better now anyway."

"Have you been having issues sleeping? I can ask Eda if she has any solutions - that lady's always got a potion for something."

"I appreciate that Luz, but it's just been some other stuff on my mind that I'm sure is what's causing it." The green-haired witch sighs out truthfully. "Can't seem to let my mind rest, lately."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She offers, and Amity nearly laughs right at her. Yeah, sure Luz! I can't seem to sleep because I can't stop thinking about how much I love you!

"Lord no," is what comes out of her mouth quickly, Luz giving her a strange look. "I just don't feel ready enough to talk about that."

"Well, if you ever want to, and you don't mind that it's me, I'm here." She gives Amity a soft, genuine smile, and Amity doesn't know what to do. Her heart hurts, and Luz is looking at her with such kindness and patience that all she wants to do is lean over and kiss the other girl. 

The room is eerily quiet for a moment as Amity gathers her jumbled thoughts, the human girl staring at her like she's the only other person worth looking at, breath held like she's waiting for something.

Amity almost blurts out a love confession on the spot, but her stomach growls instead. It ruins the atmosphere instantly.

"Oh. Guess I'm kinda hungry.." She covers her stomach with her arm out of embarrassment, as if that would help anything.

"Well, you did skip dinner." Luz stands up and stretches her arms, and then offers a hand to Amity. "Would Miss Blight like to grab some food with her human companion?" She winks a little smugly, grin on her face. "Only if you're up for it though."

Amity stares at the hand in front of her, feeling her face flush for the hundredth time today. She grasps Luz's palm before she can second guess herself, standing up on unsteady feet.

"Well, it's not like I can get into further trouble." She replies, holding onto the other girls hand a second or two longer than necessary. 

-

She did get into trouble though, and was admonished for quite some time when she got home later in the evening. Her parents grill her on her whereabouts, and she just tells them that she fell asleep. It's not like it's a lie. She does catch her siblings eavesdropping nearby, the absolute heathens. 

When they're finally done, she goes to hide in one of the bathrooms for a while - she knows that Ed and Em are gonna pry into everything. 

Five minutes into her nightly routine, and she hears two pairs of footsteps walking towards the bathroom she's in, like clockwork. She rolls her eyes to herself, not feeling up to the harassment tonight.

"Ohhhh Mittens~" Comes the annoying voice of her brother from beyond the door. Amity thinks for a brief second that she could just ignore them and carry on as usual, but she knows they won't let that happen.

"What." She answers sharply, water running in the sink. She grabs her face wash.

"Don't be like that! We just want to make sure you're okay," Emira says sweetly, and jiggles the doorknob that Amity locked prior. 

"No you're not," She replies, rubbing soap onto her cheeks and forehead. "You're here to gloat."

"So not!" Edric cries. "We just love our baby sister and we're concerned!"

"Suuuure." Is all she mumbles, uncaring as she rinses off her face.

"Where were you earlier? You never miss family dinner. Did something happen?" Emira prys, and Amity just sighs. She doesn't want to do this right now.

She finishes wiping her face, and suddenly opens the bathroom door wide - Edric was leaning on it and he almost falls to the floor, Emira catching him. Amity glares at her siblings.

"Can you two leave me alone for once?!" She snaps, and stomps off to her room, her siblings' crying out behind her.

She locks her bedroom door behind her, and flops onto her bed face-first.

She tries to sleep, but ends up thinking about Luz for literal hours instead. As per usual.

[treekyo]

My personal grievances with Yashahime so far (which may change as the story progresses)

Okay you guys I’m gonna go on a little rant right now... and it’s about...almost everything I’m not personally happy with in Yashahime. Remember, everything is my own opinion, as well as subject to change as the story progresses. (This was written on 1/21/21)

Also everything will go under the cut so you don’t have to read if you don’t want to!

Towa

So honestly, Towa is fine. My main issue is her motivation - or lack thereof.

Her main motivation is to find the Dream Butterfly to regain Setsuna’s memories. Dandy right? Would be, if she was actively pursuing this. The thing is, there’s only 3 instances in the show where she “actively” tries to find the butterfly - when she legitimately goes out to find the mountain it could live on, and when she asks Jyubei twice about any information about the butterfly (one of which ties in to the her looking for it)

And I get it, it’s even a myth within Feudal Japan. But how many times has Towa come across random people whom she bonds with and just....doesn’t ask them anything? Not even a whisper? I get it, she’s currently trying to get money to give to Jyubei to set a bounty for information (and they keep losing money), but it’s always Moroha who is upset about the lack of funds. Towa doesn’t get on her knees and complain that she won’t be able to finance the bounty on the butterfly. Heck, she doesn’t even go “Oh jeeze, another week and I still don’t know anything about the butterfly” She doesn’t even bring up her lack of knowledge - which is frustrating because this is her MAIN MOTIVATION.

The Four Perils and Treekyo

Alright, this one is gonna be a bit shorter, but still nonetheless frustrates me. Treekyo propositioned the girls to destroy the four perils and then Kirinmaru, or to destroy Sesshomaru - to balance the force or whatever. They say “No! We’re not killing our dad/uncle, and we’re not killing these other people just because you say so!” and then they go on there way.

THEY THEN PROCEED TO TAKE ON BOUNTIES FOR ALL FOUR OF THE PERILS AND DON’T EVEN QUESTION IT. Like Tokotsu isn’t as big of a deal since he was already slain before Treekyo asked the girls for their help, and the bounty was for his son. But like...none of them go “Oh wow we’ve been fighting the four perils, just like Treekyo wanted! I still want my bounty money, but this is a bit suspicious” Maaaybe they’ll mention it because two of the perils still live...but...I think it’s been a bit too long for it to have gone unnoticed.

Pacing

Now this one has to do with the actual pacing of the story, which also ties into my problems with Towa’s motivation. 

See, the pacing worked for Inuyasha since their motivations were to find the shards of the shikon jewel - these shards were taken by the “monsters of the week” and needed to be destroyed to regain them. While it was slow, they were actively moving “forward” (or appeared to be moving forward) towards their end goal.

Now in Yashahime, clearly the story’s end goal is a showdown with Kirinmaru. But that’s not the character’s end goal. They currently do not coincide. Now is it probable that the Dream Butterfly was used to keep Setsuna safe from Zero’s Dream Gaze (currently a theory as of right now)? Yeah, more than likely. But the main characters don’t know that. So Towa should still be actively trying to find the butterfly. The “monsters of the week” formula, when not interacting with Towa’s motivation, makes everything feel pointless and “filler”. However; if Moroha was the main character it would work because she’s trying to pay off her debt. Heck, if Setsuna was the main character it would work because she does the slaying mostly because she is told to by the Demon Slayers.

Both Setsuna and Moroha’s motivations - work and debt, work with the “monsters of the week” formula, and the pacing could work. But Towa is the MAIN main character - and she just needs to mention the butterfly in every episode to make it “okay”

Episode 15

Now I’m not gonna get into the actual story here, but I will say having Riku tell the story, with absolutely  no prompting, was a terrible choice. Sure, he was telling us the story, but the previous flashback was told to Towa, to let her know that they knew OF time traveling and wanted more answers. This episode should have been put off for an episode (as well as broken into a two parter), allowed for Jaken to meet the girls, and tell the story of what happened. That way, they know about the comet (and idk, maybe if Towa was more observant she could go “hey that might be coming back in the present era!”), learn about their family. And start to give Moroha the closure she deserves. But of course we can’t have that - we have to make Sesshomaru be considered a villain even though it’s obvious he’s not but w/e - suspense and all.

I just worry with how the writing has been, the characters won’t be as phased as they should be when they know the truth - because we the audience know so “we don’t need their reactions” or whatever their reasoning would be, since we’ve already dwelled on this information.

Closing

And if you’re wondering why I’m still watching Yashahime because of these grievances - it’s because I WANT it to work. And maybe once the entire story is out it won’t be as bad. That’s why I said it’s subject to change. But right now, this is what is weighing on my mind where I can’t fully enjoy this sequel series to one of the first anime’s I ever watched (fourth, to be precise).  I hope things turn out for the better, but if they don’t? I still enjoyed it. And that’s why I keep watching.

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

ATDT!AU Post-Escape Halloween thing 5-5 (Sorry but just 5 is good.)

Linda thanked her lucky stars that Halloween was finally over. The woman swore that every single time that dreaded excuse for a holiday came around it got worse and worse no matter how many rules were put in place to keep that foul day from getting more and more popular. But now, it was November; The month that swept the devil’s holiday away for the glory of Christmas.

Oh yeah, and Thanksgiving was also a thing but no one cares about it aside from the parade (that was cancelled this year), the feast, and Black Friday (Also cancelled.) But those weren’t on her mind at the moment, what was was that everything could now go back to normal for a few days before the Christmas chaos began. The next PTA meeting she’d attend wouldn’t be about frightening fundraisers or creepy classes, it would be about something much more wholesome and agreeable... Like moving the funding from the science class to somewhere more useful.

She couldn’t wait for it to come! Sure there’d still be the problem of that dreaded skeleton sassing them and making those terrible jokes, but at the very least he couldn’t use as many halloween related puns now that it was over.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAD EXTRA FUNDING BUT WE PUT IT IN THE BIO CLASS?! THAT MONEY COULD’VE GONE TO SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT! DID YOU LITTLE FREAKS THINK YOU COULD HIDE SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM ME AND-”

The skeleton slowly sipped hot chocolate with bone-shaped marshmallows in it as he tuned out the irate soccer mom’s ranting and waited for her to run out of steam. After she screamed her lungs out at him he calmly and audibly cleared his throat before speaking.

“well linda, after a brushstroke of good luck happened an entirely new race was discovered and freed from an underground prison. toriel and a few of the other teachers have been speaking with a few of them to try to ink-corporate their history and biology into the school’s curriculum... and they aren’t comfortable with sharing history at the moment but happily agreed to work with us with their biology.”

Linda’s eye twitched in irritation.

“The school’s money was wasted on teaching the kids about “Ink Monster Biology”?! THEY’RE JUST INK AND MAGIC! THERE’S NO BONES OR ORGANS IN THERE! HONESTLY, OUT OF ANYTHING TO USE THE MONEY ON-”

“jeez lady you’d think they killed your kids and burnt down your house with how you’re acting... take it easy they’re just living drawings.”

Linda huffed indignantly and left the room, clearly if she was being dismissed so casually, they wouldn’t need her at the moment.

“Erm, Sans,” another one of the teachers spoke up. “Actually, you might want to look at the course that they submitted...”

Sans skimmed through the handed papers and he spat out his hot chocolate as his eye sockets widened in surprise, thankfully, not ruining the important paperwork.

“oh wow... uh... okay, so that’s actually really important and i’m surprised we learned this here instead of in an emergency broadcast or something.”

“I know, right? Not to be rude, but is this how monsters feel about humans?”

“nah, this; this is on a whole other level...”

After a bit of awkward silence, the same teacher spoke up again.

“So... Any suggestions we can take to accommodate the new Toon vice principal? I hear they’re supposed to show up for work next week.”

“oh yeah, and there might be toon students showing up too. and that’s not even bringing up the special guests and other stuff.”

“I got it!”

“the floor’s yours, pal.”

“What if we take some water coolers, fill them up with ink, and label them “MAGIC INK! NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION”?”

“alright, labeled ink coolers. sounds good. meeting adjourned?”

“Meeting adjourned.”

The next few weeks, Linda hid away from Toons every time she even so much as saw them in the same room as her and was very aggressive and rude to them for daring to be in the same space as her. As she acted in a similar way when monsters were first introduced into the school most people just rolled their eyes and paid this no mind. Monsters who received similar treatment from her reassured the concerned toons that she’ll at least lighten up a bit, but other people noticed that Linda’s hands shook a lot. As well as the fact she became a lot more protective of her coffee.

Her really black coffee.

[princesstutufandemonium]

Rapsblüte no Yoru (Princess Tutu epilogue skit) and my thoughts

Or: Why a bitch is still salty after 9 years

So, as previously mentioned on this blog, there was a skit presented at a Princess Tutu convention in 2004 by series creator Ikuko Itoh and chief director Junichi Sato called “Rapsblüte no Yoru.” It takes place about a year after the anime’s ending and serves to wrap up some loose ends about the characters and their feelings - particularly Ahiru and Mytho.

So I’ve talked about it before, but now more time has passed, so I thought I’d let the raging monster out of its slumber to REALLY address the epilogue and my own uncensored thoughts and feelings about it. Half of this ended up reading like a rant, really, but I just had to get it all out there. 

Here is the skit, as recited by Japanese blogger Goma and translated by LiveJournal user csakuras, along with my reactions and thoughts, which are indicated by the blockquotes.

"Quaack.." Ahiru seems to be swimming on the river during a night with a beautiful moon It's been a while since then, and every day I'm happy. It's fun talking with my bird friends, and Madam Pelican is a little noisy, but...it's fun. And besides......whenever I look up, Fakir is always there.

So Ahiru has returned to life as a bird and has settled in well. Good for her.

Ahiru: "I've come all the way to Gold Crown Academy....somehow I feel like dancing." Saying that, Ahiru climbs onto the bank and is surprised to find the whole surface covered with rape blossoms. Ahiru: "Gwak!!" Autor: "Oh? What's this?" It seems he stepped on Ahiru.. Ahiru: "Gwakgwak!!" Ahiru protests. Autor: "Oh it's you, Ahiru-kun...isn't Fakir with you?" Autor backs away as Ahiru tries to talk to him. Autor: "Sorry, but could you not get so close? I'll start sneezing from my bird allergies." (The mystery of his dislike of birds is solved.) Ahiru: "Charon-san and Raetsel-san had a child so Fakir went to the celebration."

The idea of this seems to negate all of Raetsel’s development, but okay then.

Autor: "I see....by the way, did you come to see the Night of Rapsblüte too?" Ahiru: "Rap..Rapsblüte?" Ahiru asks curiously. Ahiru: "Rapsblüte are rape blossoms, right?" Here, Autor goes Hnph! with his nose as if making fun of her. Autor: "The Night of Rapsblüte is when once every 50 years, all the rape blossoms bloom simultaneously on a night of the full moon. According to what I've researched in the library, in the records of a student from 50 years ago, there is an eye-witness account." Ahiru heaves a sigh (lol) Autor: "And tonight, the weather, the date, everything matches with the past data!" Autor is full of confidence. "Besides that, you're in the music department so maybe you should be studying piano instead..." Ahiru mutters. Autor: "Did you say something?" Ahiru: "Huh? Autor can understand me." Hnph, he laughs at her with his nose again. Autor: "Anything can happen tonight and it wouldn't be strange." Ahiru: "The moon is so pretty..." (Here, a man wearing a mask of the moon appears from behind..it's a great hit in the assembly) Autor: "What's that? An onion?" Ahiru: "!!" Uzura: "Ho~ Ahiru zura~" *Tototon* (her drum) Ahiru: "Uzura-chan!!" Ahiru: "Uzura-chan! Where were you?" Uzura: "I've been wandering the interval of time with the old man zura."

WHAT does that even mean?! What is the interval of time?! Considering Uzura’s previous life as Edel, it’s surprising that Uzura chooses to stick with Drosselmeyer. He’s the one who put her Ahiru and Fakir through so much trouble, after all. Then again, Uzura is a child and probably has no memory or idea of the role Drosselmeyer played and the evil things he did. Uzura also isn’t human, so maybe human morals don’t bother her as much.

Ahiru: "By the old man do you mean Drosselmyer-san? Then where's Drosselmyer-san?" "Drosselmyer?!!" <--(Autor's switch is on) Uzura: "The old man is busy with updating the site zura, sorry he's so irresponsible zura." (Here, Director Satou is rolling with laughter.) Autor: "Why didn't you bring him with you?!" Clearly, his Drosselmyer otaku switch is on lol

I hate you, Autor. I try not to but I do.

Uzura: "One more is coming zura." Autor: "One more?" Mytho: ".......Tutu." Ahiru: "Mytho!!" (I can never forget Ahiru's sad voice here)

Ah, and here it is. The agony.

You know, I could possibly stomach the whole damn ending of the show if the epilogue doesn’t go on to make it entirely clear how heartbroken Ahiru still is. I mean, if Ahiru is actually happy, there’s nothing more you can want for her. But this here kind of ruins it. Like, why?! How am I supposed to be content with her situation when she’s sad at the mere sight of Mytho?!

Mytho: "It's been a while...." Uzura: "He was dancing on the balcony so I brought him zura." (....At your own pace as usual, Prince.) Autor: "Prince Siegfried from the story!! Myu...Mytho-san." (He sounds as emotional as if he were meeting Drosselmyer.) Mytho: "Are you Fakir's friend...?" Autor: "I'm Autor!" Mytho: "You were the one who helped Fakir? Thank you..." (How does he know..)

How DOES he know? Well, there was a tiny time skip between the defeat of the Raven and Mytho and Rue’s departure to the story. Perhaps things were explained a little during then.

Autor: "No! It was an honor." (only dimly remember) Mytho: "If I remember correctly, during our ballet lessons you were asked by Neko-sensei to accompany us on piano." Autor: "Yes, I was asked to accompany you on piano by Neko-sensei 11 times, and I passed by you with Neko-sensei in the hall 27 times." (Jeez, Autor's in high spirits (lol)) Mytho: "Fakir sometimes sees cows and alligators flying in the sky, so I'm worried. Could you take care of Fakir?"

 Mytho seems to naturally be a little bit of an airhead. It’s funny to see that qualities of him that we saw in the anime can be attributed not to his lack of a heart and common sense, but just to how his personality really is. Cute.

Autor: "Yes!! Mytho-san, please leave him to me." (He's been left to him without having a say, Fakir's in a pinch (lol)) Ahiru: "Mytho? How is Rue-chan?" Mytho: "Rue is doing well." Mytho: "It seems Rue is good at singing too and she's a popular princess among the people." Autor: "Rue-san?"

So Rue is a true lady of the arts, not good only at dancing but at singing too. Interesting that she’s so popular, considering that she honestly doesn’t seem to be the most sociable person. Polite, but not going out of her way to be friendly. Perhaps her time in the story with Mytho has defrosted her even more. What is the new Rue like, I wonder?

Uzura: "Mytho is rabu-rabu with Rue zura~" Autor: "Could you be quiet for a while..." His voice is lacking energy and sounds like he might cry (He knows they're rivals in love..is that okay?)

WHY is Autor so torn up over Rue still?! He never even really spent time with her. Foolish kids, I tell you. She was hardly more than a pretty face to him.

Ahiru: "Thank goodness... Mytho. "The Concluding Volume of The Prince and the Raven" got published. It's not a story without an end anymore." Ahiru: "And also, soon Fakir's going to dance an all-male version of La Sylphide with Matthew Bourne-sensei's choreography!"

Soooo this part is confusing. The concluding volume… So The Prince and the Raven was a story published in installments? The show made it look like it was just a single novel. Unless they mean that they simply published an official ending… But if the story was given an ending, wouldn’t that affect the storybook world? And who wrote the ending and got it published, Fakir? A couple of questions that remain here.

Mytho: "Fakir....I always feel like I'm connected with Fakir..the more my country becomes peaceful, I can feel him close by." (It's...mostly dim recollection. Just the nuance of it.)

Yeah, don’t act like you didn’t just up and leave him AND Ahiru once your business was finished, Mytho. Anyways, skipping the salt, does this mean that Fakir’s conclusion to the novel made things more peaceful in the story world? That’s what it sounds like to me.

Actually, isn’t it kind of scary that Fakir can still wield influence over Mytho’s world? What if he got pissed off at him? yikes

Ahiru: "Mytho...." "You should meet Fakir! He's coming back tomorrow..so then.." Mytho: "I can't..I can only come here because the interval of time is connected tonight..see, the moon is already sinking this much." (The man playing the moon sinks down (lol) The assembly bursts into laughter again) "I see..."

WHAT is with this ‘interval of time’ nonsense again! Someone explain it to me!

Also, fuck Fakir, apparently.

Mytho: "Princess Tutu.....thanks to you, I can be like this. Thank you." Ahiru: "I wanted to see you smile, so my wish is already granted." (only dimly remember)

 AND THERE IT FINALLY IS!!!

“Thank you, Tutu, for risking your life to save mine and restore my happiness and holding your tongue about your feelings for me so I could do nothing for you in return and leave hours later.”

No, I’m not salty. Anyways, the abrupt ending to the show without much dialogue was due to time constraints, not necessarily a true display of Mytho’s character, which I guess this epilogue was partly written to fix. It does seem pretty heartless when you watch the anime, though.

Mytho: "Princess Tutu, I wanted to be with you longer. I wanted to talk with you like this longer....to me, you are the light....because you are someone very special..." (?? Mytho/Ahiru?)

See, this is why I just can’t do it. Like, Mytho, are you fucking kidding?! You leave her alone as a duck and now you want to sweet-talk her?!

But actually, all bitterness aside, this is really sad. They obviously care for each other, but because of circumstances and plot, never once did they have the time to really just… talk.

And he still sees her as the light. I saw some people kind of making fun of this, but of COURSE he does. There was a considerable period of time when she was the only person vouching for him, keeping him safe, acting as his voice… and ultimately saving him in every way. He can only be a real person again because of her, and she never faltered in her mission. That’s INCREDIBLE. Of course he would hold her in high regard.

Mytho: "But, I have to protect Rue. Rue needs me...." (I'm sorry, it's completely out of memory...because I was so overwhelmed..(lol) I should take my reeling in moderation)

And here’s the dagger. After talking about how highly he thinks of Ahiru/Tutu… he backtracks by saying Rue needs him.

And you know why this is REALLY fucking sad? He doesn’t say that “But, I really enjoy being with Rue” or “But, I love Rue.”

He says he has to PROTECT Rue. Rue NEEDS him.

I don’t think I need to dive too deep into the implications of his wording to spell out why this is upsetting, but I’ll sum it up quick. Instead of saying he likes being with Rue, he says Rue needs me. That’s the first thing that comes to mind.

And if it means what I think it means, that’s just fucking harsh. That’s not fair for Rue. That’s not fair for Ahiru. That’s not fair for Mytho.

I mean, we all know the prince has a savior-complex, but the implication that he chose Rue because he feels a sense of duty to protect her instead of romantic affection is kind of… tragic. That’s not a happy ending at all, really. Does Rue have any idea?

I think this is why I have an issue with Ruetho, because no matter what you can’t escape the fact that Mytho will always view her through the lens of what she suffered. It’s just in his personality as a heroic, selfless prince. Doesn’t Rue deserve someone who sees her as… more than someone to protect?

Whatever, can’t be changed now.

Mytho: "Tutu...you have done so much for me, but I couldn't do anything for you." "Is there something I can do for you, Tutu?"

WHAT on Earth could he possibly expect to be able to do for her?! I mean, short of turning her human again, but I’m guessing that’s out of the scope of his abilities. Don’t be so bait-y.

Ahiru: "......Mytho! I.........." "No, nevermind..." (Ahiru sounds incredibly sad)

AUGHHHHHHHH

What was she going to say? You know what, probably doesn’t matter anyway. We know what she wants… she can’t have it, though.

Mytho: "It's almost time..." "See you again....Tutu...." (Jeez..I don't remember any of it) Ahiru: "Can we meet again?" Mytho: "Surely we will meet again..." Mytho (or is it Yanagi-san? lol): "We can meet again, when Sakurai-kun is here." (The assembly explodes with laughter)

NOOOOOOOO

No no no

No, do NOT meet again. This is just asking for trouble. Ahiru clearly isn’t over Mytho, and Mytho… clearly does not have his priorities straightened out. If they keep meeting like this…

Well, as the anime shows, it wouldn’t be the first time they put themselves through the wringer for love. Mytho recites something in German. "Waaao!!" <--(Uzura)

What did he say? I’m curious.

Here, Mytho says his never-ending feelings for Tutu (if someone remembers this part please tell me~) And at the end, Mytho: ".......Ahiru."

 ……..Yeahhh, probably not a good idea to meet again.

Like, I get that this epilogue is to ‘tie up loose ends’ including the torched remnants of Mythiru that were dropped so abruptly at the end, but...

Why, oh why, Mytho, did you choose Rue if you’re still hung up on Tutu?

Additionally, we see that Mytho DOES now know that Tutu is Ahiru. That’s bittersweet too, but in more of a good way. He finally knows that the little passionate goofball was the princess all along. I wonder who told him, or how he found out. Did he just figure it out on his own? Like, the duck that was once Princess Tutu must be Ahiru because Ahiru = duck? Maybe Uzura told him? I doubt Fakir would’ve, simply because once she was back to being a duck again permanently, there was really no reason to tell Mytho. Couldn’t much matter anymore, right?

Ahiru: "I get the feeling I heard Mytho's voice at the end." I am a duck....I can't wear toe shoes, I can't dance.. (I'm sorry, I don't remember) But inside my chest there is a sparkling gem that will never be broken. The end.

And that’s it.

Sooo a lot of conflicted feelings coming at me from this, if you couldn’t tell. I guess first is the question of whether or not this could be considered canon.

Honestly? I think so. Both Ikuko Itoh and Junichi Sato, the people behind Princess Tutu, worked on this and presented it. They even had some of the Japanese VAs present to act it out. Additionally, as I’d mentioned previously, it addresses some questions that were left open due to the somewhat rushed ending of the anime’s finale. And nothing presented in this skit goes against the show’s canon or really comes out of left field (aside Charon and Raetsel man tf). It’s short and sweet.

Moving on, the first time I read this I was really happy, simply because it makes it clear that YES, Mytho does return Ahiru’s feelings. Which I guess was clear in the anime too, but this skit makes it undeniable. It’s nice to feel validated.

But as time goes on and I’ve had the chance to chew over and really digest it… It’s kind of a really crappy situation for our heroine and hero. Like, so they are in love, and they want to continue seeing each other… but Mytho is SUPPOSED to be spoken for with Rue, and Ahiru is a duck. Not to mention that Ahiru is Rue’s FRIEND. C’mon girl, chicks before dicks. Of course, they could still interact platonically, but the confession from Mytho in this skit kind of shot that possibility dead. And what about Fakir in this mess? Granted, Fakir isn’t stupid – he’s known that Ahiru loves Mytho from the beginning, and it’s not exactly like he can be in a relationship with a duck. But still.

Maybe I’m just looking too far into things, but with a piece this short and direct, I don’t know how deep you can really dive.

Anyways, my final thoughts are: Mythiru is canon but in the most tragic way possible, Rue deserves better, annnnnnd I’m still left unsatisfied.

[thedreammweaver]

“Excuse me, um, I love you” (Gotham (TV) Ed x Returns Oswald, mild Ed x Max Shreck too cause 🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽)

(A/N: stream R.E.M. by Ariana Grande, it’s all I listened to while writing this and it’s honestly a vibe.)

Warnings: Mild blood tw, talk about job/financial insecurity

Ed startled at the commotion, he’d only been half listening to the conversation going on to his right between Josh and the Penguin.

“Not a lot of reflective surfaces down in the sewer, huh?”

There was a long pause of over exaggerated laughter.

“Still, could be worse, my nose could be gushing blood.”

And then...

Ed hadn’t seen what happened but by the blood coming from Josh’s nose as Jen led him over to a desk and the same blood dripping from the penguin’s mouth it didn’t take him long to deduce. Ed bit back a smile despite himself, Josh had been an asshole to him many times, it was good to see him face some consequences finally. “Alright, everybody, back to work!” Max instructed as everyone the room awkwardly dispersed. “Let’s. Make. A mayor!” He finished before going over to the water cooler with the penguin. Ed couldn’t help but stare at the shorter man, he wished he could say it was just for his grotesque appearance but there was something else entirely that drew Ed in.

     Ed looked up from his work when he noticed the figure standing in front of his desk. It was Max. “Yes, sir?” Ed asked, nervously flipping his pencil in his fingers under his boss’ gaze. “Eddie, could you be a dear and take some tea or something up to Mr. Cobblepot? Make him feel welcome, you know. Thanks.” He didn’t wait for Ed to respond before he walked away. Ed chewed his lip and watched his boss for a moment before getting to his assigned task.

     Ed was nervous as he ascended the stairs with a tray of tea and snacks. He tried to stop his hands from shaking as it was making the teapot he was carrying rattle. As he entered the loft above the rented campaign building through the support beams Ed could see the penguin at his desk quill in hand writing away. Ed forced himself towards the desk “Mr. Shreck, asked me to bring you this.” He said trying desperately not to fumble his words, as he set the tray down on an empty spot. Before he could withdraw his hands penguin grabbed one of them, Ed froze completely. Penguin put down his quill and used the flipper that wasn’t gripping Ed’s hand to caress it. “You have such gorgeous hands.” He practically purred. Ed’s face went bright red “.....T-T-Thank you, sir.” Penguin released Ed’s hand from his grip and resumed his writing as if nothing happened. Ed tried to keep his cool as he awkwardly headed towards the stairs but he was interrupted by the penguin’s gruff voice

“What’s your name?”

Ed tensed up “Oh, I- I’m just an intern, sir-“

“I asked for your name not your employment status.”

Ed’s face went red again and he idly adjusted his glasses “It’s Edward..Nygma.”

“Edward with the pretty hands...got it.” Penguin chuckled. There was a pause between the two men “You can go now.” Penguin clarified. Ed nodded awkwardly and left the room.

       Ed tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about his earlier encounter with the penguin, he should’ve been grossed out but the man’s flippers were surprisingly warm, calloused but soft at the same time. He replayed the feeling of them around his hand over and over in his mind despite himself. Ed began dozing off to the thought of how warm the rest of the penguin must be, how soft and secure it must be in his arms and how badly he wanted to be cradled in the short man’s chest...Ed’s eyes snapped open and he sat up in bed. It’d been hard enough coming to terms with the crush he had on his boss but this?? Daydreaming about being held by a mysterious bird man? Afraid of what he might dream about if he did sleep, Ed pushed off his weighted blanket and got out of bed, determined to distract himself from any and all thoughts of the penguin.

     He regretted not sleeping the moment Max told him he’d be at the campaign building doing overtime that night though he didn’t say what for. For now Ed was stuck listening to Max and Bruce Wayne drone on about power surpluses and other things. Though he was tired Ed was elated to be filling in for Selina Kyle as Max’s executive assistant, something in him always hoped something would happen to her so he could take over and be around Max all the time. He coveted Miss Kyle’s position but luckily she hadn’t been to work for a few days. Ed leaned against the wall trying not to doze as he half listened to the conversation going on in front of him.

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna fight you on this, Max. See, I’ve already spoken to the mayor and we see eye-to-eye so-“

“Mayors come and go. Blue bloods tire easy. You think you could go fifteen rounds with Mohammed Shreck?”

“Well, I guess we’re gonna find out. Of course, I don’t have a crime boss like Cobblepot in my corner so it might-“

Ed perked up at the mention of Oswald, So did Max.

“Crime boss?!?” He stood up and began circling the large meeting table over to Bruce “Shows what you know, Mister.”

Bruce stood up as well as Max continued his rant. “Oswald is Gotham’s new golden boy. If his parents hadn’t 86’d him you two might have been bunkies at prep school.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Oswald controls the red triangle gang. I can’t prove it but we both know-“

“Wayne, I will not stand for mudslinging in this office.” The door opened behind him revealing Selina, he was too caught up in his rant to notice. “If my usual assistant was here she would have already escorted you out to-“

“Anywhere he wants,” Selina interrupted strutting in. Ed glared at her before exiting, sensing he was no longer needed.

     Ed was still fuming when he caught up with Selina in the hallway later “Where have you been??”

“None of your business.” She mumbled, walking away from him, Ed followed.

“Actually it is, as an employee of Mr. Shreck I find it concerning when a fellow employee drops off the face of the earth and suddenly swoops back in like she owns the place-“

Selina stopped. “Look, Ed, no need to exact your jealous rage on me I’m...quitting soon, then you’ll have Maxie all to yourself.”

“I don’t appreciate what you’re implying, Miss Kyle.”

Selina scoffed “You imply it enough yourself.” Ed took a moment to actually look at her, she was much more disheveled than how he usually saw her. “What happened, why are you all..different?” Selina sighed “Now that’s really none of your business, riddle boy.”

     Ed gripped the banister of the spiral staircase that lead up to the loft where the penguin resided. Max had told him that Penguin wanted to see him for something, that was the only information he’d been given. Now he stood there, too nervous to ascend, nervous because he wanted to see Oswald, desperately. Ed steeled himself and forced himself up the stairs.

Penguin was writing again though he was in much better clothes than the dirty union suit Ed had seen him in previously and a second chair had been moved by the side of his desk. Ed stepped only a few feet away from the stairs “Mr. Shreck said y-you wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes..and call me Oswald, I insist. All I want from you is your company, it gets terribly quiet up here.” Ed was a bit taken aback, most people told him to shut up but here was Oswald wanting him to speak. Oswald gestured the empty chair “Come over here, would ya, I don’t bite.”

A nervous huff of laughter escaped Ed “Josh’s nose would disagree.” Oswald sighed “Ah, yes. Poor choice of words. I promise not to bite you then.” There was a soft tone to Oswald’s voice that made Ed want to leap into his arms and stay there. Ed awkwardly shuffled over to the chair and sat down. There were a few moments where the only sound was of Oswald’s quill against the paper as Ed struggled for something to say. “Did...uh-did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet?” Ed kicked himself after the fact fell out of his mouth, Oswald was raised by penguins of course he knew that. “Yes, I did.” There was a note in Oswald’s voice that indicated he was impressed which made Ed struggle not to beam. “Some of them can swim at over ten miles per hour, and dive down over eight-hundred feet with that beautiful plumage that camouflages them from above and below the...water.” Oswald stopped himself, a slight blush spreading across his face “Forgive me, they’re truly amazing creatures..” There was a hint of vulnerability in his voice which made Ed jump to reassure the man. “It’s okay! Usually I’m the one rambling.” He chuckled, oddly feeling at ease with Oswald. “There was another thing about penguins I heard-“ Ed was cut off by a shiver that ran up his spine, he wrapped his arms around himself. “Jeez, it’s...cold in here.”

“Hold on.” Oswald put down his quill and got up, at first Ed assumed he was going to go turn the AC down but instead he waddled over to wrap Ed in a hug. Ed froze once again as Oswald once again invaded his personal space. Oswald felt even better than Ed had pictured, sublimely soft and warm. This must be what being in the womb felt like, Ed thought, so secure and cozy. It had only been a few seconds but Ed felt like screaming when Oswald pulled away and returned to his seat, he’d wanted the hug to last forever.

 “That better?”

 Ed adjusted his glasses and hoped he wasn’t blushing as much as he thought he was “Y-Yes, thank you.”

“So you were saying?” Oswald asked as he resumed writing. Ed was distracted by the bat signal going up outside the window before he could compose himself enough to answer. He accidentally let a disgruntled huff at the light let slip. “What is it?” Oswald asked not looking up. “Oh- just...Batman being called for something I guess..while Gordon sits on his ass doing nothing.” Ed mumbled.

“You sound upset.” Curiosity was apparent in Oswald’s voice. Ed shrunk into himself a bit “..I...I’m not supposed to talk about it. It’s not very ‘proud Gotham citizen’ of me.”

“Oh, please, do tell. You’ve piqued my interest.” Ed couldn’t help but oblige as it sounded like Oswald would actually listen. He got up and went over to the window. “I work at the GCPD when I’m not doing stuff for Max, or at least I think I work there.”

“Oh?”

“They let Batman handle most of the cases now, all the aspects of them...even the forensics.. They barely call me in anymore. Thankfully Mr. Shreck started paying me when I got laid off but...uh, all I see when I look at that symbol in the sky is another month of back rent..” Ed finished grimly. “If something happened to Miss Kyle then of course Max would probably make me executive assistant,” Ed sighed a bit too wistfully “and I could quit the GCPD but that’s not happening I suppose, not for a while anyways.”

“Even on the off chance I don’t become mayor, I’d hire you, you wouldn’t have to worry about any of that shit anymore.”

Ed spun back around to the desk “Really??...Why?”

“I can tell you’re smart, you’re nice to talk to, you’d be a delight to just have around.” Ed blushed at being called a delight, he went back to his chair to sit. “Thank you, sir, that would be-......wait, I have to ask..are you a..crime boss?” Oswald scoffed “Now where did you hear that from?”

“Bruce Wayne.”

Oswald rolled his eyes “Of course...what if I was?” It didn’t take Ed long to answer, he felt strangely like he could be candid with the shorter man. “If you were...I might be more inclined to accept a job offering, I’m starting to think the criminals in this city have the right idea...”

“Good to know..” Oswald said smugly. Max had been Ed’s end goal for so long but now he was already thinking of him as just a stepping stone to the real prize. Ed held back a devilish grin as he shivered, this time on purpose. Oswald looked up “Cold again? What am I going to do with you?” he chuckled. ‘Anything you want, Mr. Cobblepot,’ Ed thought ‘Anything you want.’

[raidbossmadi]

People Like Us : Chapter 7

7. The parts we play

Previous Chapter : Here 

“I just don’t get it.” Troy huffed taking a drag of a blunt as he sat at a grungy table in the engineering garage. His hefty prosthetic arm resting on the table it’s forearm panel open as Lydia diligently looked over the circuitry and mechanics inside. 

“Don’t get what?” She asked as she worked. It was commonplace for Troy to rant about the things that were frustrating him while he was getting his arm serviced and the engineering team were all well equipped to deal with their gods problems, after all they were his loyal children. Tyreen might be the favored of the cult at large but here in the garage everyone preferred Troy. 

“Why I feel like this, I don’t really know what to call the feeling either. I’m not sick...at least I don’t think I am.” He sighed, he knew what being sick felt like and this was something different entirely. It felt like his heart was being held in a fist that was tightening ever so slowly, that his head was swimming in a sea where all he could think about was one singular thing; the new siren. 

Lydia let him talk as she continued prodding at various components in his arm and testing their reactivity then loosened a few wires. “That feel any better, boss?” 

Troy stopped his rambling and rolled his shoulder back letting the weight of the arm rest on his shoulder plate.  A hiss of pain exited his lips as the shoulder plate dug back into the already bruised ribs beneath it, the reason for his coming down here in the first place. 

“Nope! That’s not it.” The arm thudded back onto the table which creaked under the sudden weight. He chewed his lip as a distraction from the protesting soreness in his already delicate damaged side. It was just his luck this was all piling up on him like this, the strange feelings, his arm not cooperating, Tyreen increasing his work load. He never could catch a break could he?  

“Not since the day Ty and I were born.” He thought, taking another drag hoping it would take the edge off his soreness. 

“You ought to be checking the counterweight Lyd.” A gruff voice came from behind the male siren and Tink dressed in welders gear hopped up onto the table. “The plate’s not shifting down far enough to be caught by his implant so it’s not shouldering the weight the way it should.” 

“You wanna take it over from here then Hephaestus?” Lydia asked. “I can head out if you two just wanna you know, have guy talk?” 

“Yeah leave it to me, I think I got the solution for our boss’s head problems too.” He said with a smirk that made Troy squirm a little, he didn’t handle confidence in other men well and it seemed that extended to his mechanic as well.  He tried to put it behind him, after all these were his inner circle members; people he could and did  trust with his life. 

“ So what do you think is wrong then Heph?” Troy leaned back in the chair staring up at the sheet metal ceiling and wondered how many bolts he could count before he got bored of it. 

“Told ya, your counterweight is screwy…Oh! You mean the other thing.” The Tink snorted, of all the smarts the man made god that sat before him possessed, he sure didn’t know anything about his feelings.  

Troy leaned forward again, his hair falling in front of his eyes yet the icy blue glare was still just as effective. “Yes the other thing. Jeez.” 

“Alright, alright don’t go bearing those fangs at me Troy. So this feeling you get, does anything in particular trigger it?  Are you walking out to do whatever bullshit you're up to when you ain’t here and seeing a particular person that gets you all dizzy? does this certain person cross your path and you just feel like you don’t know why the planet's gravity turned off for you alone?” Hephaestus didn’t look up from Troy’s arm as he talked gingerly tucking wires out the way to get to the forearm counterweight.  Troy seemed to handle things better when he wasn’t being talked to directly, something about making it seem like he was still in complete control of the situation kept him docile enough to ask hard questions. 

“Uh..ye..yeah that’s it exactly. But it doesn’t make any sense does it?” Troy huffed annoyed at himself “After all-”

“Lydia didn’t give herself that bite mark, nor did half the people here. I know, and I know if I  were a few feet taller I’d likely have one myself. But there’s a big difference between your little flings and what you’re feeling right now Troy.” 

“Then what is it? I don’t understand.” Troy ground the butt of his blunt into the table flicking it and the pile of ash it left onto the floor. 

“I know you don’t, and that’s why you’re angry, but I want you to think long and hard about this Troy. What makes this person different from any of your little flings? No one can answer that but you and you’d better figure it out before you go hurting them and yourself and everyone else around you because you couldn’t figure it out.” Hephaestus knew he was treading dangerous ground; Troy’s temper was nothing to play with but it was clear to everyone close to the male twin that he lacked a level of emotional maturity that, if he did not figure out for himself would continue to destroy every close relationship he tried to have. 

“Why can’t you just tell me? Clearly you’ve got it all worked out.” 

“If I tell you, you won’t learn anything and that’s the real hang up here. You think you’ve got it all figured out and because of that this new situation’s got you all confused. So all I can tell you for now is think long and hard about what’s different and only then will you understand why you’re feeling this way.” Hephaestus finally looked up from his work on Troy’s arm in time to catch him rolling his eyes in annoyance, he would get it in time. 

“Anyway, your counterweight was all tangled up with leaves’n’shit.” He said, pulling the aforementioned clump of vegetation onto a pile on the table. “Gimme a minute and I can get it recalibrated.” 

Troy stared at vegetation, his lip curling slightly, all of this led back to Eden-4. It just didn’t make sense, ever since he’d fed on Sloane everything had been so strange.  He liked the idea of not being so reliant on Tyreen and there had been something soothing about the energy he’d taken from the nature siren. But he didn’t want to harm her, when she had fainted in his arms he had felt genuine concern that he had harmed her irreparably and that had scared him on a level he hadn’t felt since the day Tyreen killed their mother.  

It hadn’t been until that moment that he understood the look of sadness that his sister wore after feeding sometimes. He had thought that she relished in taking the life from those less important than her to feed the ever growing image of a Goddess. 

He was taken out of his thoughts by the sound of the panel being closed up, looking down at the table to see Hephaestus watching him expectantly. “Well give it a try.” 

“Oh right.” He pulled the arm off the table more gingerly this time cautious of if it was really fixed. It sat back in position at his side with little protest of his sore ribs and he sighed in relief. “Much better. Thanks I guess I owe you one.”  

The tink shook his head. “Just doin’ my job Troy. You just go back up to your place and get that thing off while those bruises heal. And tell your big mouthed sister to lay off for a couple days why don’t you?” 

“She’s not gonna like that.” Troy hazarded though a few days to rest and figure things out without Tyreen jumping down his throat sounded like exactly what he needed.

“Does she ever? Doesn’t change the fact you’re not her workhorse. Now get outta here and don’t let us see you for a bit.” Hephaestus teased  and shooed the male siren away. 

Lydia approached him as Troy made his exit and quirked a brow noting that there had been a distinct lack of yelling which she had not expected. “Your talk went well then?” 

“Yeah, I gotta let Iris know I owe her fifty bucks though.”  Heph said with an amused snort.

“What? Why?” 

“Made a bet with her a while back, told her I didn’t think that  angry boy there had it in him to truly love anyone. She disagreed. Didn’t think I’d ever actually have to pay up, but, here we are.” 

—-

“You cannot be acting like this, you need to settle down.” Tyreen hissed. The God-Queen grabbing an errant vine that had erupted from the ivy plant she kept in her room, the plant shriveling as she leeched it back into submission. 

She could understand the other siren being a little upset about the things that had occurred the night prior but lashing out was unacceptable behaviour for anyone with powers like theirs, Sloane might not be able to husk anyone but she sure could if her emotions got out of hand . With the plant taken care of there was little threat for the both of them and Tyreen while still keeping her distance folded her hands in front of her to show she wasn’t going to lash out in kind. 

“Are you feeling calmer now or do I need to have Mouthpiece put you in time out?” She asked. 

“Yes, fine,whatever,I'm good. How about you start explaining what the fuck went on last night.” Sloane asked huffing through her nose, she had not planned for things to be aggressive but her powers had other ideas when she had originally started this conversation.  

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about this.” Tyreen started, sounding equally annoyed. To her none of this was worth getting upset about. 

“You don’t? Really? Tyreen your brother did something to me and I don’t know what he starts freaking out I start freaking out , then the next thing I know I’m in the fucking hospital and you don’t think that that’s a big deal?” Sloane exclaimed honestly not sure what even to say at this point. 

“Fine alright maybe it’s kinda a big deal. You might want to have a seat, I don’t know how long this’ll take to explain so we might as well get comfy. I’ll grab drinks you want alcohol ooorrr?” 

“I’ll just have a soda Tyreen.” Sloane gave an exasperated sigh before walking over to the couch and sitting down. A million thoughts were swirling in her mind, why was Tyreen so chill about this like it was normal, even if it was normal  for her surely she must understand that not everyone would think that. She was brought out of her whirlwind of thoughts as Tyreen placed the soda can on the table in front of her before taking a seat in the arm chair. 

Tyreen popped the top of her own drink, a beer and took a sip before she sighed again. “So we lied, well kind of. Troy is a siren, but he’s also not a siren, confusing  I know just stay with me here alright? Our dad always called him freak, a parasite, he said he was a broken siren that shouldn’t even exist. He told us that if anyone knew Troy was a siren they’d take him away and study him, I mean he told us a lot of things about the world outside that wasn’t true but I don’t doubt that that was the one thing that was.” 

“Wait wait, I’m lost already, what do you mean your dad lied to you?”  Sloane tilted her head in confusion, the twins in the time they had been together had barely talked about where they came from and she had never pried despite her curiosity. 

“Our father raised us in a cage, he told us the rest of the universe was full of bandits and corporations that would tear us apart. When we got out we saw he was right, but he never accounted for the fact that we would tear them apart first. But that’s not what matters, this isn’t entirely my story to tell so when you do see Troy again you’ll have to coax the rest out of him. The important part is, Troy’s sick, he always has been. He needs a real siren like me to feed him energy or else...well he withers away. I don’t have the time to babysit him constantly with the Children of the vault expanding at an exponential rate, I can’t always stop what I’m doing or even be on the same planet as he is.  So when we realized we were going to be near another siren we thought…” 

“You thought that it would be ok to just grab another siren and not tell me the truth. That you just wanted to use me?” Sloane asked, her voice pitched up as she put the pieces together. 

“Not exactly…” Tyreen started. “We were going to tell you, but Troy instead of topping off on me decided to let his reserves run low and test it himself. If it had been up to me I would have sat you down with the rest of the inner circle and explained the part you’d play.”  

“They all know?!” 

“Of course they all know, I don’t take anyone into the circle  without first consulting with the others. The circle is a system of give and take, we all have things to offer each other and while Troy and I sit at the top of it all we still give back to the rest. And to be fair, serving Troy isn’t the only thing we wanted you for, you’ve seen the Cathedral garden and the garden on the Centurion, we have another one as well we’ll be visiting soon. Your siren abilities are perfect for maintaining them and we’ve been looking for a caretaker for awhile.” 

Sloane swallowed, unsure of what to think about all this. She knew the twins hadn’t taken her in on pure altruism alone and that she would have to earn her keep among them; she hadn’t expected this. She hardly knew anything about them save for the facets they allowed people to know and just like that this conversation had shattered the public facing facade. 

They weren’t perfect, they weren’t the righteous gods they hoped to become. They were people, broken scared people who had been raised in some sort of backwards way, told that the world outside of their bubble was dangerous and against them. Who wouldn’t want to rise above that, to remake a better world as a god. It all made sense now and the realization that the people who seemed to have the universe under their fingers were just as deeply flawed as anyone else was comforting. They weren’t the wolves that she thought they were, they were just as scared and frightened as she was, they just knew how to spin that fear into power. 

Now with Tyreen’s sins laid bare she couldn’t bring herself to feel the anger she had when she’d walked into the room. There was still a touch of fear that she couldn’t shake at this moment though, she still needed to process everything she had just learned. She couldn’t string together the words to explain what she was feeling she needed time to think about what she wanted to say. 

“I… I’m not angry anymore but I need some time to think, Tyreen. I’m gonna go take a walk around the Cathedral, yes I’ll bring a priest for safety don’t worry. I think I might go spend the night with Iris though, just to have some thinking time.” She said and hoped Tyreen would allow her to leave without much fuss. 

“That’s fair, I'll give you the time to collect your thoughts.” Tyreen sat back in the armchair watching Sloane rise and leave. When the door clicked shut she crushed the now empty beer can in her hand and chucked it at the wall. 

“You’re so fucking stupid Tyreen!” She berated herself. “Of course laying out you stupid sob story wasn’t going to just magically fix everything and have everything go back to normal. So fucking stupid.” She picked up her echophone with the same amount of fury and double checked the time of her afternoon appointment with the marketing heads. Enough time to let her feelings out. 

“You shouldn’t deny yourself these feelings.” A familiar voice that was not her own spoke up in her head. Nyriad, the siren that had wielded her powers before her waking to share her wisdom as she often did when Tyreen was upset. 

“I don’t even know why I’m upset though, she’s not obligated to thank me or even understand me.” Tyreen snorted. 

“Perhaps you should reflect on why she makes you feel this way. I know you long for another to be as close to you as your brother. Do you know what that feeling is called Tyreen?” 

Tyreen was admittedly stumped at first but the longer she thought on Nyriad’s words and her own thoughts and feelings it all started to fall into place. The truth she always knew she’d inevitably have to face and how she would have to decide if she would act on it or continue to keep buried like everything else she was afraid of. 

[theelliottsmiths]

Funniest making of video Rammstein moments?

Well this got... Comprehensive. It devolved somewhat as it got to videos I don't care about as much. This is not what you were expecting, I'm sure, but you asked so please be polite and read it. It's like 2/3 from memory so I'm sure I missed just the funniest thing that's ever been in one. Such is life.

P*ssy (let's see if this work of art gets into the tags):

Schneider being a nasty bastard rat man with his leg drumming

Everything Flake says. All of it.

Richard talking about his double, holding his hands about a foot apart

The hoover

Schneider's little kick at the camera because he's 18 years old at most

Das ist ein Bordell?

The little grass song

Schneider trying not to show that the thinks it's 'absolutely stupid'

Flake don't do anything

Their little weirdo best friend hang out warmups

Rosenrot:

Till practicing the murder scene

Paul singing the Rosenrot guitars as he learns how to flagellate himself. This is one of my fave things why does nobody talk about it?

Till saying he wants to make friends too

Till peeping out of the hood asking why(?) he needs make up

Can we count Richards hat and Flakes hair

Richard asking if they should have knives and won't they kill him?

OLI WITH THE WINE UP HIS SLEEVE. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen no matter how many times I see it.

Everything Flake says

Till, don't defend yourself. Richard, let someone else beat the devil out of Till!

The silence after Flake says he doesn't like pain as much as Till

Sonne:

Talking about how they had to make Paul bigger to play a dwarf

Flake talking about them wanting to name the album Herzeleid and then realising there was, unfortunately, already an album called Herzeleid and they're the ones who made it

Did the American tour influence this album? Nope!

Everyone's reaction to the spanking scene

Robert

When Paul feels the Cain Instinct rising and flings the food at Till, Schneider looking on to see his reaction instead of stopping Paul

Mutter:

No :(

Radio:

Mit seinem Mündchen, so spitz!!!

The little opera battle at the end

The fact that it hasn't got subtitles (though I'd rather it did)

Ausländer:

Schneider's dancing

Till saying the actress could like, permanently kick his arse

Schneider and Oli falling over.

Paul with the tusk

Jeez Schneider's dancing though how is he so many contrary things?

Till trying so so hard not to look at the actress' breasts while she's talking (does anyone know her name I feel gross just saying the actress). He does, but he tried.

Mein Land:

Paul and his pale, delicate Berlin skin

The way it cuts from the beach to Flake in his night makeup, which to me feels like they're implying it's his regular everyday look

Flake not super wanting to be there

The dancing. The only time I'm truly reminded of their ages is when I see them dance.

Richard hugging Jonas, just because of the way he flings himself. I bet he runs up to people and jumps, assuming they'll catch him.

Haifisch:

Paul's little blink thing

...Richards hair.

Till dressed as snow white, spanking what would be Paul

Flake being an amphibian

Richard going off track to mention a woman with 'huge jugs'

Stripped:

Down to the booonnneeee

Ich Tu Dir Weh:

fleischfarrrrrrrrrbenen Drrrrrrrraht lang legst. His speech is so rounded, like the bubble writing every teenaged girl uses on posters

The whole mouth piercing story, really. I don't think it's as big of a deal as they do though? It was bigger than a standard piercing and he wasn't very smart about it but it was pretty much just a cheek piercing he treated poorly, he didn't remove a limb. I used to spray stuff when I had a lip piercing so that's just understandable, relatable content.

Ziggy Stardust

Flake saying he's being slandered

Paul's face the entire time he talks about the trucks

Mann Gegen Mann:

Is it weird that I think Schneider's lil drumming noises are funny in the background? They're so small.

Benzin:

Oli really doesn't look like Oli in the truck this isn't funny but that was a strange time huh

The guy losing his mind over the crash scene.

Richards driving face. I remember seeing it as a kid and it was just as funny then. Or maybe that's why I think it's funny

You're the driver, you can't be lying out there!

Keine Lust:

Flake wishing he could be that fat

His safely saddled pirouette

The boys cackling at each other when they see the make up and prosthetics

Schneiders giggle when he says it's his idea. Okay so this is more cute than funny, but have you ever noticed that he doesn't really have a medium laugh? It's either a polite huff or an avalanche of hysterical giggles

Schneider looking at himself in the mirror so seriously idk it just is funny

Paul singing in the makeup chair

Till getting into his suit

Schneider's face is falling to pieces but that's irrelevant!

Schneider peeling himself. Hallo!

Ohne Dich:

Flake insulting Till, Till saying he's going to really make him sweat because of how rude he was. Paul taking the piss out of Flake in the interview.

Did you expect me to run with you? How did you arrive at that?

Tills little mm after he says the sweat thing

He's alive, Schneider, come make it a trio!

Tills small mountain song

Amerika:

Okay mini rant time please bear with me I need to get this out. That guy when Till is getting taped into the astronaut gear? He told Till the Donald Sutherland penis zip story, yet when Till talks about it (using the name, pointing to his dick and zipping) the guy looks completely clueless. It's so American? How could he not get that that's the story Till was telling? Anyway it's funny because he zipped the penis of Donald Sutherland with it so... His boss, his boss did.

Again, everything Flake says. The urinals!

Paul saying their message is Fleisch, Fleisch and Ja and Ich Will, but Amerika was being so annoying that they had to make an exception

Richard with the arcade machine

The director says it's hard for them to play double speed because it's like a punk concert. They... They were all in punk bands. Maybe not Oli (I have no idea what his band was, someone said folk fusion to me once?) but the rest of them?

Paul's little history lesson in his lil nerd outfit

Rammstein created the conspiracy theory that America never went to the moon

Richard re: 10 litres of orange juice

America doesn't exist in East Germany. Why does every country have one country people think doesn't exist? Finland is a popular choice.

Mein Teil:

Moustache.

Schneider's giggling over being the perpetrators mother. Why was he so excited/embarrassed to pretend to be Armin Meiwes' mother?

Stop complaining!

Paul stomping on the suit. Am I just easily amused?

Schneider will just be a bit more woman

Oli's freaky faces

Flake talking about Swedish TV

Mein Herz Brennt:

Till trying to be diplomatic about the Spanish schedule. At least the walls were burning!

Paul being a nasty little thief

The cones.

Paul's reaction to the cones. The giggles.

Till talking to the child!

Oli with the kids when he's in his net. You know what meme that's like, fishermen talking and one gets caught in the net and they're like is it just me or is Dave being hot right now? Yeah that's all I can think then I see his net.

Paul talking about the captive costumes and shouting at Schneider through the cone

Richard having dreadlock flashbacks

The. Finger monster thing where it's like Ta Da

Feuer Frei:

Paul Kebab

Homemade Star Trek video. Paul, please dig it out.

Ich Will:

Paul in the corridor

I really like the way Paul says DDR. Its not funny, I just need to point it out I am legally obligated. Small and cute little country

Paul talking about the cameras killing them and being dramatic

Flake talking about being popular in Iceland

Mein Ohr!

Links 234:

Are there subtitles because of the accent?

That's it, I don't like this one very much at all

Du Hast:

When they forget to tell the fire boy he can cool off

Engel:

Schneider: Paul was upset we tucked him away behind the drums where he could do nothing, he loves meddling and offering his opinion

Paul: *rants about everything wrong with the video* (Paul is correct in every criticism)

Du Riechst So Gut 98:

Till being shy kissing a woman is very funny to me

Seeman:

All of it. The hair, the set, the costumes. Everything. Their reactions to all of those things. What on earth.

Poor Paul talking about the haircuts as if he's ever had more than one decent haircut in his life. Two at most.

Till seems content with it but maybe he's just being diplomatic.

Schneider, me and Oli just fool around in the background and crowd the picture with too many people

B... Bird head. Plague doctor.

Du Riechst So Gut 95:

I love how they talk about it but even though the video itself is super funny, the making of? Not so much.

Schneider saying they wanted to appear aggressive and masculine, screen cuts to what is essentially a gay p*rno/tampon advert

Of course, we had to rub oil into out bodies. Of course.

Till talking about how he layered sunglasses and got the slashes metal things to help. Is it funny or am I just tired now?

Rammstein (I always forget this exists, it's so hard to find it):

Ah yes, first video, let's ask David Lynch. Why not?

[artemismoon12writes]

Title: A Vested Interest

Daltonfic Big Bang: Week 3, Day 5, Dwodd 

Ryan Cobb still didn’t know about his desk chair, so money was still up for grabs. Nice.

“Fuck off!” Derek yelled, looking across the large, white and glass hallway of the Ohio Brooks Parker Galleria Mall to the Hot Topic.

“What is it?” Bailey asked, not turning from his sink full of dishes. He was up to his elbows in coffee mugs and dessert-stained plates. “Is Sebastian coming up to ask for another job application?”

“Shut up Bailey, you know it’s only because he thinks Julian’s hot, not because he wants to work here. And no; it’s not that asshole.” Derek gestured across the hallway; Bailey couldn’t see it because he still had his back turned, uncaring. “It’s that fucking asshole and his boyfriend!”

“Who?”

“You know, the assistant manager and that hipster guy!”

“Oh Dwight?” Bailey asked. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re fucking again!”

Bailey made an amused noise. “Good for them.”

“Good for them!?” Derek exclaimed, “What the hell does that mean?”

“Well, if you could get laid at work you would.” Bailey said, hiding his laughter. “I’m glad you don’t for the record; I don’t want to clean that up, but it’s a little funny.”

“Exactly- how is it that the goth who isn’t even in charge of that place is getting laid and I’m here in a fucking Starbucks like a loser?”

While Derek was ranting, he was ignoring the girl at the register. Bailey shot her a look, commiserating before drying his hands to take her order.

“And if we’re really splitting hairs here Bailey, shouldn’t he, I don’t know? Be doing his job? Instead of letting his little hipster boyfriend fuck him in the changerooms?”

Bailey rolled his eyes, grabbing a larger sized cup for their customer and waving her panicked look aside. It was the least he could do since she was putting up with Derek’s ranting.

“Jeez, Derek if it bothers you so much, just join in our betting pool and you at least could make some money off it.” Bailey said, steaming the milk like it was just another normal day. Which, working with Derek for at long as he had, it kind of was.

“Betting pool?”

Their customer interjected, “I’m from the Barnes and Noble next door; we’ve got it going with us, Clay and the boys in the store, Bailey and y’all, and then then Chels and the Pet Co. downstairs for how long it’ll take the manager to catch them.”

“All those people know? And Ryan still hasn’t figured it out?” Derek asked, confounded.

She shrugged, “Yeah, well, Pet Co. was waiting for the two month mark to send Ryan upstairs at the right moment; but Todd and Dwight were just talking; I’m thinking Clay ran interference so the bet’s still going.”

Derek looked caught between anger and intrigue. He looked at her with a scowl before, “Put me down for fifty bucks on two weeks from now. Ryan’s not an idiot, he’ll realize.”

“Not if he spends all his time downstairs with the fish tanks.” Bailey pointed out.

“Why is he even managing a Hot Topic if he loved animals so much?”

“He’d never sell anything if he worked downstairs, that’s why.” Their customer pointed out, wandering back to the Barnes and Noble with her drink. “Good luck boys!”

Oh it’s on, Derek thought, not realizing how difficult a task it would actually be to accomplish.

---

Two months of this nonsense aside, Dwight Houston had not set out to completely disregard professionalism and decorum when he got this throwaway job at the mall. His mother raised him better than that- or so she kept saying. He was only here for the sole purpose of keeping his car and proving he was responsible- nothing more. If he had enough knowledge of alternative culture to tell people why Hot Topic was the worst place to shop, that wasn’t his problem. He was merely the solution.

When Todd Hendricks, or “Hipster Guy” as he referred to him for the first two weeks in his head, walked in, there was no master plan to get back at his manager for promoting him in this insanity. No, it was only a short conversation, based around Todd’s utter incompetence.

“If she’s a real goth, she will not want anything we sell here. This is emo shit, New Oracle in Glensdale is the real space for crystals. This is just plastic and Yellow 33!” Dwight shook the fake silver jewellery at the customer and his wide rimmed glasses, plaid shirt, and rough, red scarf. “Your sister will not like this.”

“But that’s why it’s funny. Because it’s not authentic.” The customer (who would be known as Todd) said. “She’ll hate it and it’ll be hilarious.”

“It’s offensive! You say she’s a witch, then it’s doubly offensive.” Dwight said, motioning to put the piece back up on the highest shelf with the pole hook.

“I’m her brother, she’ll know it’s a joke.” He argued. “I’m not here to rock your goth purist boat.”

“I am not a goth,” Dwight said, putting the offending piece out of reach. “I am a post-industrial punk with spiritualist leanings; its completely different.”

“Sure.” Was the response, grinning like he’d not proven anything.

Dwight groaned, “Clay, back me up here; the Vampire Diaries spinoff jewellery is not something we should be promoting to any self-respecting goth.”

His part-timer, Clay Rizzo, poked out from behind the piercing display where he totally wasn’t trying to steal new lip rings. “I don’t know Dwight; I am one of those emo pieces of shit, so maybe I’d recommend it?”

“I get no support around here!” Dwight said, stalking to the back of the store. “Impossible!”

Todd looked over to the part-timer, decked in the unofficial uniform of all black and a hundred emo-band pins. “I think I’m dropping by more often.”

Clay gave him an evil grin. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

---

From there it escalated; Todd coming in multiple times a week just to annoy Dwight. Well, that’s what Dwight assumed until Todd asked for his phone number.

“What? Why’d you want that?”

Todd looked at him like he was an idiot. “Because I’ve been flirting with you this whole time? Were you not…”

Clay, unknown to the two of them, was watching with Robin and Jake from behind the t-shirts. They were supposed to be executing the planogram; but why do that when there was drama to observe?

“I was not.” Dwight said robotically. “Uh, okay, that’s…”

“I literally looped a tie around your neck and pulled you in, and you didn’t realize I was into you?”

Clay, who remembered that exchange, had to be smothered with a Haven shirt but Jake to stop him from making noise.

“In my defence, I’m not used to people flirting with me.”

“If you’re not interested, that’s fine. I just thought-”

“I’m not not interested?” Dwight interjected before Todd turned away and walked out. “I’m just, uh, not used to … this?”

“I can work with that.”

It somehow progressed, in spite of Dwight’s inherent awkwardness. Jake, Robin, Jasper, and Clay respectively waving the pair off whenever Dwight took his lunch break now.

“They grow up so fast.” Clay said dramatically while Dwight gave him the finger. Todd just smiled at his conspirator and told them to take care of the store. Not that he worked there. He was there often enough he’d take to reminding Dwight about stock orders, schedules, and that Jake had a family dinner coming up so someone had to get it covered. The store had never run so well as it did when Todd started dating their assistant manager.

---

“Where did you guys put the Manic Panic?” Ryan Cobb, actual manager of Hot Topic, called out from the stockroom. “There should be a packing slip for a 3 pack of each colour, but all I see is overstock of those short-shorts!”

“I don’t know, ask Jake,” Dwight said, standing on a step ladder with Jasper spotting him. “He was in last night when the delivery came in.”

“I’m asking you. How can you be my assistant manager and not know where the hair dye is? We have that Chang girl coming in later and I promised her we’d have her order in!” Ryan called. “I’m going on break, that dye should be on the shelf when I get back.”

Ryan left, once again for supposedly fifteen minutes- but the entire staff knew he’d be gone for the rest of the day downstairs to play with the parakeets Pet Co. just got in.

“Oh, you’re in trouble.” Robin said, amused.

“Shut up.” Dwight muttered. “I bet Jake just put them somewhere weird. Call him and see what’s going on.”

“I’ll call him. He told me nothing came in last night though.”

“Perfect, just fucking perfect.” Dwight groaned.  

“What’s wrong?” Todd asked, coming in with a cardboard tray of drinks. “I just saw Ryan go by, if he’s actually in the store for any minute I’m scared the place will burst into flames.”

“Once in a blue moon, it happens I guess.” Dwight admitted, climbing down the ladder to receive his kiss on the cheek and the green tea Todd brought for him.

“What’s happening?” Todd asked, taking his own coffee off the tray and pushing the sugar-laden third and fourth cups to the part-timers he’d been subtly converting to his side. Jasper particularly grabbed his eagerly, gushing thank yous.

“Jake might have lost a delivery.” Dwight paused, “Or not? I don’t know about the warehouse, but they’ve been fucking up recently anyways. I swear I can’t find last night’s order but the stockroom does look like shit…”

“You have a computer? There should be a record of orders received and rejected? I know not everyone still does things hard copy.” Todd suggested.

“It’s in the manager’s office!” Robin volunteered. “Not that we’re allowed in there. It’s for Ryan and Dwight only.”

“Well, they can’t fire me so I don’t care about that rule.” Todd said, taking a sip of his coffee and beelining to the back room.

Dwight scrambled to follow him. “No! No! No customers in the back!”

“Oh come on, if Ryan’s going to get mad at you about it then I might as well try to help.” Todd said, finding the tiny room easily and placing himself in the desk chair like he owned the place. “Password’s hottopic123, very creative, not hacking proof at all.”

“It’s a formality, that’s why it’s on the post-it.” Dwight grumbled, reluctant to admit he was grateful for the help.

“Okay, well according to your emails it’s right there. They’re not sending it because of the USPS strike. I don’t know why Ryan didn’t notice that.” Todd said after a few open tabs and a control+f.

“Oh that’s why.” Dwight grumbled, pointing to the open tabs on tanks for tropical fish. “He was distracted.”

“Why is he in charge of a Hot Topic if he doesn’t want to even work here?” Todd asked, looking through the pages. “Like, if you’re desperate you could work for the raptor sanctuary; they’re hiring.”

“Wait, you know the raptor sanctuary?” Dwight asked, intrigued. “I have an owl there.”

“I’m sponsoring Rowena, the prairie-”

“Merlin.” Dwight finished. “Yeah, she’s the one who the workers are teaching how to do the flight tricks right?”

“Yeah.” Todd paused, “You’re Castiel’s sponsor? I thought that name was stupid.”

“It’s not stupid! It’s a good name!” Dwight said before realizing Todd was joking with him. “Oh, okay.”

“So, if Ryan is going to ignore the email in his inbox in favour of spending all his time at Pet Co. I propose we do something to get him back.” Todd said, spinning around in the chair and closing the door to the office. It was more like a cupboard with how much room there was.

Dwight looked at him suspiciously. “What do you mean?”

Todd locked the door, “You’ll see.”

---

Robin wasn’t sure what was happening until he went to knock on the door and heard it. Shit. Maybe Dwight was cool.

First thing he did was tell Jake over the phone, who told Jasper, who told Clay- who told literally the entire mall by the time he’d made it in for his closing shift.

“Who knew the dude had it in him.” Jake said, punching in, careful to give the office door a lot of room. “I mean, I would do that but Dwight’s always struck me as a bit of a-”

“A nerd?” Jasper supplied.

“I’m so proud of my dads.” Clay said, already on the top of a stepladder switching out t-shirts. “Like, I can’t use that office so I don’t give a shit- but it’s also hilarious. How long do you think it takes Ryan to notice?”

“First, they’re not your dads.” Jake said.

“Todd gave me a gold star for my pins last week, they’re my dads.” Clay said, half joking, but mostly trying to annoy Jake.

“Okay, fine. Secondly, Ryan isn’t going to notice shit. If he hasn’t notice you’ve been stealing lip rings to wear while at work he is not going to notice Dwight’s boyfriend fucked him in the office.”

“Or did Dwight fuck him?” Jasper asked.

“I don’t care.” Jake dismissed the comment. “Either way, it’ll be, like a year before Ryan realizes something is up.”

Clay grinned, “Care to put your money where your mouth is?”

“You’re on.”

The pot, by the time Pet Co., Barnes and Noble, Starbucks, and Radio Shack got in on the action, was somewhere around $400. The only ones unaware, were the couple in question and Ryan Cobb.

---

“Shit, Clay! This isn’t what it looks like.” Dwight said hurriedly, Clay pulling open the curtain to the change rooms enough to poke his head in.

“Really? Because it looks like you’re just passionately embracing Todd.” Clay shrugged, “I could be wrong.”  

Todd would have normally made a quip back, but he was too close to reply. “Uh, not a good time.”

“Well, you’ve got almost no time at all for this quickie because Ryan is on his way back. AKA, he’s on the elevator and if you’re here balls deep-“

“I will curse you so hard-”

“You’re already hard, I get it. Put some pants on, wrap it up.” Clay said, flipping the curtain closed. At least the two of them were polite enough to not make any of the part-timers do cleaning duties on these occasions.

Either way, Clay has a vested interest in not alerting Ryan right now. The pot was up to $800 now, and he would need that for next semester’s books. College was expensive.

---

In the end, it wasn’t Ryan who caught them; it was the night security guard who got them outside in Dwight’s ridiculously out of date Chevy. With an ‘indecent exposure’ strike on his record, Ryan had to let Dwight go. The betting pool wasn’t sure if this meant the bet was on, or off.

The next week, when he found Todd wandering past the Hot Topic to the men’s bathrooms with one lanky, gothic boyfriend in tow- he shot Todd a thumbs up and informed the rest of the mall the game was still on.

Ryan Cobb still didn’t know about his desk chair, so money was still up for grabs. Nice.

[spideychelleee]

MJ FFH Analysis

I LOVE that they stayed true to MJ’s character in FFH but still allowed her to have a bit more depth. Get comfy, this is long. It gets really deep towards the end oof. Welcome to my part rant part analysis of Peter and MJ in FFH:

First of all, can I just say that MJ is represented so well. I’m so glad that she is still wearing casual clothing and little makeup and lets her curls run wild. I have naturally curly hair but always straighten it cuz i feel like i look crazy with it curly but after seeing MJ, Im starting to realize that I should just rock what I got. And I feel like her portrayal has this effect on every teen and adult that watches her on the big screen. She inspires everyone to just BE YOURSELF. Ugh yessssssss

Ok now onto the scenes. Almost immediately, we hear our very own Spider-Parker has got a 6 STEP PLAN to impress MJ. This man is crushing. Hard. Many people were disappointed that this sudden liking for MJ came “out of nowhere” but, as countless other blogs have mentioned, relationships CAN develop off screen. Especially friendships. Wow who knew. Peter and Ned were friends right when Hoco began and no one had a problem with buying their friendship. The period after Hoco when MJ becomes team captain to Infinity War is long enough for these two to become actual friends and for Peter to realize how awesome she is. And let’s not forget that it’s been 8 months since the Blip (ew) happened. The Blip 100% brought everybody closer, whether they liked it or not. And the fact that Peter knows MJ’s favorite flower and the reasoning behind said favorite flower hints that they have been getting closer.

The airplane scene yesss: Our girl MJ is not afraid to stand up for Peter when Flash makes fun of him. And omg the way his face lights up after she does that. I think that interaction with Flash was a great way to show the antis that MJ is not mean spirited like Flash can be. Yes, she is sarcastic, blunt, and a little morbid (she clearly likes crime investigation guys), but she is not rude. She isn’t afraid to stand up for the “little guy” (in this case Peter hahaha irony). Also in this scene we get one of our first peaks at awkward Peter and MJ when he slams the bathroom door in her face HA. Their wide eyed expressions say it all. And the fact that MJ puts her ear to the door to hear wtf he is doing is just a continuation of how observant she likes to be. Oof I love this whole scene. and if a boy ever cleaned the bathroom for me i would marry him

THE BO (boh?) SCENE. This is our first glimpse of excited MJ and I love it. She is more than just rbf and sarcastic MJ. She has normal human emotions that she seems comfortable to let show only around...drum roll...Peter!!! I’m not sure if she went looking for him or just saw him outside of the store she was in but either way she excitedly ran over just to tell him about a new word she learned and what she had been doing. Let’s note that both of these characters are clearly fine doing something alone, yes including Peter. The rest of the class went their separate ways in groups while Peter went to buy the necklace by himself and MJ went to learn about Italy by herself. But, if they were to hang around anyone, they would rather it be each other. So now they are alone together (wow look at that beautiful oxymoron). MJ comes out of literally nowhere with a skip in her step. You can clearly see how excited she is to just talk to Peter about her new favorite word. She’s finally opening up around him. But MJ is still is her normal sarcastic self when she shuts down that guy with the roses implying that they looked like a couple (cuz they do). AND this woman has the NERVE to say “bo” is her new superpower to someone with actual superpowers. She knew what she was saying and it was purely intentional cuz she loves messing with Peter. And of course MJ noticed Peter was holding a bag and asked about it. Observant, remember? His response was perfect. MJ appreciated Peter’s smarta** response because it meant he was paying attention to her and it was exactly what she would have said. These two enjoy being around each other and can bounce off the other easily when their feelings don’t make things awkward.

That small scene in the hotel where Peter mentions going to Paris tomorrow is *chef’s kiss*. He is testing the waters just like she was in Hoco when she was trying to make friends. But this time, Peter is trying to see if his plan is going to hold up and if she is remotely interested in Paris at all. Her response is pure MJ. And naturally, Peter is a little taken aback by her random, dark fact about the Eiffel Tower but she follows with it being her favorite destination on the whole trip. She would normally stop at the morbid fact with anyone else, but with Peter she offers a little more insight to how she’s feeling. 

Brace yourselves #1: THE OPERA SCENE. Let’s establish that MJ really gives zero effs about Brad. This dude really trying to tell her he’ll save her a seat HA. Good one Brad. You can feel how uncomfortable she was the minute he said that. And that’s when our hero Peter Parker swoops in cuz he can’t let this happen. This boy summons all the courage in the entire world to tell MJ she looks “really pretty”. And once again, her response is pure MJ. I feel like she has trouble interacting with people she likes because she just doesn’t know how to. But she saves Peter from wanting the ground to swallow him whole when she summons the courage to say “you look pretty too”. AHHHHH. This is the first time we have heard MJ compliment anyone. Like I said before, with anyone else *cough* Brad *cough*, MJ would have stopped at the “therefore I have value” line. HOWEVER, with Peter, she is continuously opening up little by little. And she takes matters into her own hands by cleverly asking Peter if he wants to sit next to her. And yet again the audience sees another first timer for MJ. She is nervous. We NEVER have seen her nervous. She is usually calm, cool, and collected. But not with Peter. I can’t reiterate this enough. She’s finally breaking down her walls and for no one else but Pete. AND she finally decides to run after him when she catches him leaving. She knows he wouldn’t ditch her for no reason. She’s got a hunch that he’s hiding something or that something is wrong and she wants to find out and maybe help.

Brace yourselves #2: we are going into the bridge date walk thing these two dorks managed to accomplish. At the hotel, MJ immediately asks Peter where he was. No one else asked him that. Not even Mr. Harrington, which would be his job lol. She also says “we missed you” and “glad you’re back” and gives a weak smile. We all know really she meant “I missed you”. You ain’t that slick girl. And Peter’s excuses are just getting worse and worse. “I got lost” jeez come on man what was that. She 100% (or 67%) knows he’s lying to her. ANYWHO, Peter and MJ clearly both want to hang out because she opens the door the minute he was about to knock. She spares his rambling with a definitive “yes” cuz she is eager to go on a date walk with this dork. And Peter is freaking out cuz omg she wants to meet in 5 minutes instead of 10. That line alone shows MJ’s eagerness and how she will take matters into her own hands if need be. And the entire walk out of the hotel these two COULD NOT STOP SMILING. This is just another example of how giddy MJ gets around Peter.

Ok actual bridge scene: Once more, we see MJ in a particularly vulnerable state. She’s trying to find something to talk about and nervously tells Peter yet another morbid fact about the Charles Bridge. AND AGAIN, SHE DOES SOMETHING SHE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE. She apologizes. MJ is so nervous that she said the completely wrong thing and made things weird that she says “sorry”. She is so goddamn vulnerable around Peter it’s not even funny. And she was so excited to tell Peter that she knows he’s Spiderman that she cuts him off from his feelings confession HA. And of course Peter is shooketh. Because all this girl does to Peter is make him shooketh and catch him off guard, and visa versa. But MJ won’t hear his lame excuses anymore cuz she’s got the receipts. Our girl has actual evidence that ended up cracking the whole omg Mysterio is a fraud situation. AND UGH, when Peter asks if she was only watching him because she thought he was Spidey. And she LIES. MJ is “obsessed with telling the truth” and yet she goes against her character and lies to cover up the fact that she likes Peter because she is afraid of telling him how she really feels because what if he doesn’t like her back. Which is normal. MJ is not used to what she’s feeling around Peter and the minute she has the opportunity to confess she panics (like we all would).

I needed to start a new bullet point cuz that was getting long. Continuing with that scene: I love how Peter finally just admits that YES he is Spiderman (shocker) and he really messed up lol. Their little back and forth banter “are joking with me cuz it’s not funny” “I was only like 67% sure” “what are you doing on a school trip?!” is MJ both extremely excited and freaking the eff out at what is going on. In truth it’s a lot to process. The guy she likes is Spiderman and he just admitted it, she’s been carrying evidence to a major crime, they both just figured out together that Mysterio is gonna kill half of Europe, etc...MJ is showing her true human emotions to Peter and only Peter.

We continue to see MJ breaking down her walls in Peter’s hotel room. She’s actively trying to help him figure out what he is going to do about everything they just found out. She has emotional facial expressions. AND WOO MJ is revealed to be a hormonal teenaged girl who wants to look at Peter’s abs (don’t we all). But THE MINUTE Ned comes in, it’s like a light switch turned off. She goes back to being blunt “he didn’t tell me, I figured it out” and has no expression on her face. It really just goes to show how Peter brings out the best in her and ughhhh yesss

Ok this isn’t really analysis but Peter diving after MJ in that illusion (even after recognizing that it wasn’t real) goes to show how much he cares about her ok continue...

MJ is now a FOS (friend of Spiderman). She knows the danger that comes with being a FOS. She reminds Ned of this and urges that they should break off from the rest of the class. She doesn’t want others to get hurt on her account. It was a very brave thing for her to do. And she continues to be brave when she whacked the shit out of that drone with A MACE. And I love that MJ doesn’t have unrealistic levels of strength. Because she shouldn’t. She is a teenaged girl. She doesn’t have superpowers. The fact that she nearly dropped the mace on the floor is really realistic. it’s heavy. But she doesn’t need powers to have courage or to help save herself and her friends.

I love how in the vault MJ’s confession is that she is “obsessed with the truth and will always say it even if it hurts someone’s feelings”. Or something like that. And yes she is. Like I said before, MJ is not mean. Is she awkward? Yes. Does she sometimes not know how to continue a conversation? Yes. Are her interests dark and morbid? Yes. But she’s not a bully. She’s honest. Her personality is brutally honest and her appearance is brutally honest. She doesn’t try to look like someone she’s not to impress Peter. She doesn’t try to change her personality to please others. But she does indeed call you out on your bullshit when you are acting up. We need more people like MJ.

Brace yourselves #3: We are transferring into THE SCENE. Let’s all take a deep breath before we begin. Ok. MJ obviously cares about Peter. And obviously MJ is not a physical contact type of person. The minute the drones stop attacking, she runs to find Peter without a second thought. And what does she do? She hugs him. This isn’t a half ass hug either. She runs and launches herself into his arms. Which is an appropriate response because she didn’t even know if he was still alive. That’s when she pulls out The Necklace. I can only imagine how MJ must have felt when Happy gave that to her. I feel like in that moment she realized that hey, Peter might actually have feelings for her. And the fact that it was her favorite flower really sent her. She is so overcome with emotion that she interrupts Peter’s rambling yet again but this time with A PECK ON THE LIPS. And although she has an idea that Peter likes her now, you can still see all over her face that she’s waiting to see his reaction. SHES TESTING THE WATERS YET AGAIN PEOPLE. Just like she was doing in Hoco. I’m gonna make that my senior quote I swear I feel like I’ve said that so many times. AND THEN she admits that she has trouble getting close to people and that she lied about watching him just because he was Spiderman. (Btw Zendaya’s delivery was amazing and you could just see the emotion on her face and hear it in her voice.) That is a big step for MJ. Once again for the twentieth time in this rant/analysis, MJ is allowing herself to open up around Peter. And it’s a little scary for her but she does it anyway. 

BUT WAIT THERES MORE. “I actually like it better broken”. Of course she does. Tattoo this quote on my forehead. I changed my mind, this will be my senior quote. The amount of depth in that line is insane. Broken. The necklace. It’s broken. The boy standing in front of her has just had his ass handed to him, his face is bloodied and he’s limping. He is physically broken. He’s also witnessed the death of his uncle and Ironman, both important father figures in his life. Not to mention the trauma he’s been through fighting Thanos and being manipulated by Mysterio. He is mentally broken. MJ probably comes from a troubled household. Her family is broken (probably). The fact that MJ and Peter and half the universe were dusted and lost 5 years of their lives with zero say. The world is broken. But MJ doesn’t mind. She straight up tells Peter that she doesn’t care that times are tough or that it’s dangerous to be close to him. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger am I right? AND THEN she really admits, I’m talking blatantly, flat out, no sugar, clear as day, states “I really like you too”. WEVE GONE FULL CIRCLE YET AGAIN. She has officially opened up to Peter ladies and gents. Like really opened up this time. Full on. And then he nervously wiggles in to peck her lips and she gives him a shy smile. And then we get a full on K I S S and she’s got the courage to put her hand on his neck. Wow. The amount of shy smiles she gives Peter in this entire scene is just too much to count. And she MAKES A JOKE. And it’s not a sarcastic one. She awkwardly grabs that mace and pretends to beat someone’s ass “just in case” ahhhhh.

When Peter and MJ nervously hold hands in New Jersey. Yeah. And she’s wearing the broken necklace. And one final time we see MJ saying something blunt “nobody really pays attention to you” cuz that’s who she is but then adding how she really feels immediately after “except for me” all because she is with Peter. And only Peter makes her do that.

Oh and MJ freaking out and screaming at the top of her lungs was yet another relatable aspect that makes her so lovable. For the ten millionth time, she tries to play it cool around Peter, but he ends up breaking down her walls.

That was so long. I’m so sorry. If you made it this far you’re the real MVP and I appreciate it.

[turning-the-kaleidoscope]

“Rails” (Post-OVA; Spoilers Abound)

Reigen hoped things would be back to normal by now.

They aren’t.

(Read on AO3)

((TW: graphic panic attack, vomit mention))

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sometimes, Reigen finds himself back in that place. 

In moments caught between sleep and wake, in the midst of dreams and nightmares, and sometimes when he just closes his eyes for too long, he slips back into that railway car. That stuffiness. That inability to breathe. And he forgets that he isn't there anymore, because it smells like leather seats and bad takeout, and it's humid and hot and dry, and he can taste the salt he'd flung around and see lingering flecks of it on the floor like snowflakes.

And then someone would nudge him, or call his name, or, in one case, spill tea on him (Serizawa apologized endlessly and it took everything Reigen had to not thank him), and he was back home. Back in his own reality.

But it never took away those smells. Those sensations. Those feelings. There aren’t many things that scare him, but the thought that he could disappear, and no one would even notice he was gone…

Yeah. 

He lost a lot of sleep over that. Blacked out at a lot of bars over that. Screamed into a lot of pillows over that. And all that was before the nightmare hellscape of isolation, train whistles, and screeching metal on metal. 

“Reigen? Are we almost ready to leave?” 

Reigen is snapped out of an almost-flashback by Serizawa’s voice and lifts his head. It’s been two weeks since they returned home from the resort, but already it seems Serizawa has been taking Reigen’s advice of thinking for himself, stepping up and stepping out in spite of worries and concerns. Except he does look worried and concerned now, and it takes Reigen another second before he realizes that’s his fault. 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Reigen gets to his feet, kicking back the office chair and swinging on his coat. “Sorry. It’s been a while since we’ve been on a field job, huh?”

Serizawa’s features brighten with excitement, and Reigen does his best to make everything seem normal. He’s apparently successful, because then Serizawa is saying, “Yeah, not since the resort!” as he bends down to slip on his shoes. “It’s definitely been some time since we’ve been out on the field—Although, that isn’t to say I haven’t enjoyed working around the office!” He flails his hands to and fro and shakes his head with equal fervor. “I enjoy everything we do, really, whether it’s field work or paperwork, but—” 

“Hey, man, I get it.” Reigen straightens up and knocks his fist against Serizawa’s shoulder. “You can lighten up around me, y’know? I’m not gonna get upset with you for dragging paperwork through the dirt. Paperwork freaking sucks.” 

Serizawa swallows hard, and while, yes, he has gotten better, some things will just never change. And that’s okay, Reigen doesn’t mind.

“Are you—Are you sure?” 

“Definitely.” Reigen withdraws his hand with a grin and starts toward the door. “In this office, we vent about whatever the hell we want to. You’ll get the hang of it in no time.” 

He swings around to look over his shoulder. Serizawa has an odd look on his face. Reigen snorts. 

“Come on, let’s get going. Nocturnal spirit or not, the sooner we get this over with the sooner we get back.” 

He leads the way and Serizawa follows him with a bright, “Yessir!” 

~*~*~*~*~*~

We should have gotten a taxi. 

That sums up Reigen’s entire thought process as their train comes skidding into the station. The screech of metal as the brakes lock embeds a chill in his bones, and he grinds his teeth against the sensation. 

And then his surroundings shift and warp and melt into a grotesque version of reality. Just like it has been. 

Serizawa is gone from beside him, and the dimly lit station turns dark red, with maroons peeking through windows and rising up from beneath the floorboards. The shadowy corners are all-encompassing and deep, like black holes. And it’s hot. Stuffy. Murky. The smell of sweat and death is so heavy it could anchor a ship.

“Is this one ours?” 

Reigen shakes himself out of it and lengthens his heaving gasp into a sigh. “Yep, that’s the one,” he says, surprised (relieved) by the steadiness of his voice. “Jeez, I hate night trains…” 

Serizawa gives him a look before shrugging. Reigen follows him forward. 

“There aren’t many passengers this time of night, so we can probably take whatever seats we’d like,” Serizawa says. The doors release with a hiss of air and Reigen is glad for the distance between them; it means Serizawa won’t see him jump out of his skin whenever the godforsaken train makes a sound. “Where did you say the client lived?” 

“Uh.” 

Stuffy. 

Hot. 

Sweaty. 

Doubt. 

“Reigen?” 

“Sorry, sorry, spaced out.” He flaps a hand. “Yeah I don’t remember, I’ll double check the email once we’ve boarded.” 

Once we’ve boarded. 

Once we’ve boarded. 

Once we’ve boarded. 

They should have gotten a taxi. They should have gotten a goddamn taxi— 

 “On second thought, I’ll just go ahead and check right now,” Reigen says, whipping his phone from his pocket. Anything to ground him here in this reality where he belongs. “Go grab some seats for us, will ya?”

Serizawa agrees and departs and Reigen looks down at his phone, suddenly aimless. He knows where the client lives, he knows exactly how to get there; he even knows exactly how long it’ll take to get there by train (an hour. An hour). 

But he can’t bring himself to step over the threshold. 

In fact, it’s not until the rest of the passengers have boarded and the intercom gives a last-call to meandering passengers that he finally sucks it up and heads inside. 

The air is sapped straight from his lungs, around the same time the doors click shut behind him. A blaring whistle tears through stale air; the driver calls out their stops; and then the floor beneath him shifts and rattles and they’re on their way. 

Reigen takes his first breath inside the train and immediately wants to throw up. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Oh, there you are! I was worried you were left behind—n, not that I thought you would, I-I was just worried that maybe you’d lost track of time or couldn’t find the email or—” Serizawa pauses mid-rant, with his shoulders falling and his hands landing in his lap. “I… I’m rambling again, aren’t I? Sorry.” 

Reigen sinks down into the seat beside him (sitting, rattling, nodding off, god) and exhales through his nose. “You’re fine, don’t worry. Rambling’s alright too. And there’s merit to overthinking sometimes. You don’t wanna do it all the time for everything, of course, but sometimes overthinking means you come across stuff that a more careless person would’ve missed. So I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” 

He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets to keep them from shaking. Serizawa doesn’t notice and sighs in relief. 

“You’re right. You’re right.” 

“Yes I am.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” 

There’s nothing else to talk about, and it isn’t long before Serizawa pulls a school book from his shoulder bag (“Y-You don’t mind if I read, do you?” “Nah.” “It isn’t rude, is it?” “Not at all.” “Are you sure you don’t want to tal—” “Serizawa.” “Okay.”) and Reigen, too, is left to his own devices. Which consist of his phone, a stack of business cards, and a pair of earbuds with only one working side. 

It gets old quick. The bump and bustle of the train do not. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Reigen does his absolute best to make sure the job drags on for as long as it possibly can. Screw "overstaying your welcome," Karma owes him one. For once he didn't deserve something shitty that happened to him and he isn't going to let it forget. 

But the spirit is exorcised just as fast as ever. Serizawa always makes simple work of spirits like that. He may not be as skilled or practiced as Mob, but he's just as powerful. Spirits can't do much more than lament their woes before it's over. 

The client does actually offer them a room, since they came out so late and she's so grateful for their help. And Reigen would have jumped on it if not for Serizawa. Serizawa has been anxious ever since getting here and Reigen didn't want to put him in a place where it could get worse. Serizawa has been particularly on edge today too. 

So Reigen thanks her but ultimately declines her offer. The taxis aren't running this time of night. The trains are. 

They board. 

He’s more prepared the second time, has put more thought toward how to cope, what he needs to do differently in order to get from point B back to point A without incident. Distractions seem to be the way to go. Maybe Serizawa would wanna talk this time around or maybe he could ask to read one of his books—Serizawa definitely carries a lot of them. 

He's more prepared mentally. So naturally it makes sense for the second time to be worse. 

Their train car is empty. It gives Reigen less to think about. It's just him and Serizawa in the emptiness—and then the world twists into falsehood, and the train car is red and dark and it's just him and he’s alone. 

Red. Dark. Dimly lit. Mountains on the horizon. 

Too many empty chairs. Not enough space. He spent an entire week under one of the benches, curled with his knees to his chest and trying to promise himself that there’s a way out, there is, he just needs to find it. 

It’s too hot. It’s too stuffy. Opening the windows makes it worse—he tried more times than he can count. He has bruises from leaping out the windows and crashing into the floor or slamming into the wall. He tried jumping a lot. He was bruised a lot, but never free. 

The train was endless. 

The train was lifeless.

The train might as well have been a coffin. 

The train lurches. Serizawa slams against Reigen’s shoulder and a plethora of apologies comes pouring free. Reigen’s word spins on axis. He can’t breathe. 

“S-Sorry! I wasn’t expecting it to—” 

“Don’t, it’s—” Reigen sucks in a breath through his teeth. It’s sharp and shallow and feels more knife than air. And it somehow leaves him more breathless than before. “—Fine, it’s fine, don’t worry.” 

“Reigen?” His sight is tunneling, spiraling down like a spyglass. He doesn’t know what’s up or down or what’s real and what isn’t. “Reigen, are—are you feeling alright? You got pale all of a sudden.” 

Shit, shit, shit—

He stands. The rattling is worse but he can’t stay here, he can’t lose it here, not in front of Serizawa. “I’m fine, sorry, just felt a little lightheaded.” Red, dark, death, coffin, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone— “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” 

By the time Serizawa murmurs an uncertain, “O-Oh, sure,” Reigen has already spun around and is making a beeline down the aisle toward the restrooms at the end of the cart. Acid and tears scorch the back of his throat. He tries not to run. 

The door slams a little too hard behind him and he’s barely had time to lock himself in one of the stalls before throwing up. Thankfully in the toilet and not all over himself, but he feels just as disgusting and twice as pathetic. 

It hurts. He’s been here before and it hurts.

It doesn’t end as quickly as he wants it to, but it does end, and he collapses onto the floor of the stall and puts his head in his hands. There’s no space here. It’s cramped beyond imagining. But it’s somehow less suffocating than the actual train car. More suffocating physically, sure, but less suffocating mentally. And mentally is all he has the energy to care about right now. 

With his eyes closed and his body tucked and cramped against the wall of the stall, he tries to breathe against the taste in his throat and the mounting sense of darkness. The trail rattles and shifts underneath him. He tries every coping method he’s picked up, one by one. He counts backwards from twenty. He counts upward by threes. He squeezes his hands. 

It’s encompassing. Nothing helps. He wants to throw up again. 

Bzz, bzz. 

He starts hard enough to smack his knee against the underside of the toilet bowl. With a hiss and gasp as reality is yanked back in front of him, he fumbles for his phone and flips it open. The light of the screen nearly blinds him. 

[Serizawa Katsuya] (1:04 AM) Hey, sorry, are you okay? You didn’t look okay when you left.

He did it again. Forgot he wasn’t alone. There’s a deep, hurt thing within him that tries shoving a sob up his throat. He barely keeps it from happening. 

This is dumb, isn’t it? Serizawa was never this affected by the parallel reality. Actually, no one  seemed surprised or concerned or shocked at all. Mob not being bothered, Reigen understands, but if Ritsu and Teruki and Serizawa really didn’t think anything of it—if the parallel universe ordeal really was just one more crazy Spirits and Such job—then he shouldn’t be bothered with it, either, right? 

Right? 

Acid bubbles and burns in his throat. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

The moment he slides back the door and steps into the cart, Serizawa is wide-eyed and on his feet. His expression—concern, doubt and relief twisted and woven together like a braid—is drawn and tight. 

Reigen tries to smile as he makes his way over. The world hasn’t stopped spinning, but at least now his stomach is empty. “Hey, Serizawa.” 

“Reigen-san, are you alright? You—” Serizawa stops, already wide-eyes going wider. “You look. Disheveled.” 

Reigen tries to laugh and takes his seat. “That’s a neat word. Pick it up in your studies?” 

“Reigen-san—” 

“You can drop the -san, Serizawa, I’m not big on formalities.” 

“Reigen.” Serizawa sits beside him and wrings his hands together. “Reigen, are—are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Reigen lies, and hates how easy it is. How practiced. “I don’t think I’ll be going to that take-out place again, though. Shady as all hell right from the start and it’s only gotten shadier.” 

Serizawa studies him. Reigen gives him a side-eye. 

“Are you sure?” Serizawa asks. 

“Positive,” Reigen says, bumping their shoulders together. “Which means you can stop worrying now, big guy. I’d tell you if something was wrong.” 

“Would you?”

There's something new in Serizawa's tone. Something icy. Reigen’s heart skips a beat. “What?” 

The train passes under a tunnel. Darkness fills every inch of the train from seat to ceiling, and it’s like a switch is flipped. Things go from being decently okay, decently passable, to pounding heartbeats, chained lungs and straining vocal chords. 

His hands move to clutch his chest, his throat, his face. His fingernails bite. The darkness shoves itself down his throat and replaces the air in his lungs. 

“Reigen—Reigen!” 

He comes to on the floor, back pressed into the wall of the rattling train and Serizawa kneeling close, but not too close. His eyes aren’t wide, but instead scared and haunted and fearful. And that’s a lot worse. 

Reigen chokes on something in his throat. “S-Serizawa, I—” He can’t bring himself to say anything else along that line, and he chokes again and curls his knees into his chest, ducking his head into them. He wants to hide. He wants to jump out the window. He wants off. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—” 

“Reigen.” Serizawa’s voice is soft and hesitant. “Reigen… it's okay."

"No it's not," Reigen heaves. He feels hysteric, like there's helium in his chest, but void and darkness everywhere else. He gags on the acid in the back of his throat and digs his forehead into his knees. His hands dig into his chest and it hurts but he can't unwind himself. "It's not okay, it's not okay—"

"And I'm promising you that it is." Serizawa takes him by the shoulders, gentle but firm. "Just—Breathe. Okay? You don't need to move, you don't need to say anything, you don't need to save anyone or see anyone or go anywhere. Please, just—breathe. I promise it's okay."

Breathing hasn’t been easy for a long time, but Reigen somehow manages to suck in a breath. The lightheadedness is replaced by an incessant, deeply-imbedded pounding in his temples, but he can breathe. He does breathe. Serizawa sits back, slides his hands from Reigen’s shoulders to his forearms. Reigen digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, folding in on himself. 

“I-I’m pathetic.” 

Serizawa breathes in sharply. “You aren’t pathetic.” 

“This is stupid.” Talking wastes air he doesn’t have but he can’t stop himself. “It was just a stupid train it shouldn’t be—I shouldn’t be acting like this, it’s just me, why is it just me—” 

“You’re the only one who was trapped for that long.” 

“It wasn’t real,” Reigen snaps, and wishes he could fold himself up small enough to pass through the floorboards and into nothing. “I was barely there more than a few hours, it wasn’t even a big deal— the time that passed in there wasn’t even real, dammit.” A sob tries to break free and he buries his face in his hands to stifle it. “D-Dammit.” 

Serizawa squeezes his forearms and Reigen does sob this time, dry and unproductively. He can’t help it anymore. He can’t do anything anymore. 

“Reigen. Can you—Can you look at me? Please.” 

He really doesn’t want to, but Serizawa touches his face and Reigen’s head comes up without his full consent. Serizawa meets his eyes, close but not intimidatingly close, and he leaves his hand on his chin. 

“How long were you in there?” 

Reigen bites the inside of his cheeks. Hard. “Maybe—Maybe four hou—” 

“No, I mean. How long were you there?”

Reigen blinks against the tears in his eyes, but there’s really no point in it. There are tears all over him by now. “I…” 

He looks down at his lap, at the floor. Somehow he can see tally marks there, glaring and deep and only somewhat darker than the world around them, like stripes of void. He swallows down the next bit of hysteria and brings a hand to his face, wiping it. 

“I lost count at—at thirty one.” 

It says a lot more than he wants to say. The shadow that passes over Serizawa’s eyes is deep and penetrating and Reigen feels like he’d been stabbed in the gut. 

The train gives a sudden lurch and Reigen jumps hard. Serizawa’s hands close around his shoulders again and the distance between them lessens. Serizawa’s breath harmonizes with the roaring blood and pounding pulse in Reigen’s ears and, soon, drowns it out. 

A voice on the intercom calls out the first stop. Not their stop—a stop several tens of minutes before their own. Reigen clenches his teeth and fights the urge to cling. 

“We’re getting off.” 

Reigen blinks up into Serizawa’s face. He’s looking at the door. 

“What?” 

“We’re getting off the train, right now.”

Reigen’s wits return to him, one by one. “But—Serizawa, this isn’t our stop—” 

“It is now. Come on, we’ll miss it.” 

Serizawa tries pulling him to his feet. Reigen’s fingers clamp around his wrists and pull in the opposite direction. “No, Serizawa, I—you have to get home tonight, don’t do this for me, I—” 

“Reigen.” Serizawa’s knees thud gently against the floor, and it drowns out the hiss of the doors swinging open. “You told me to start thinking for myself, right? To start making my own decisions? This is one of them. Come on.” 

Serizawa pulls him again, and this time it’s all Reigen can do to gather himself and go with him out the doors. Serizawa doesn’t let go of his arm, and Reigen doesn’t ask him to. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Reigen feels like he was underwater for too long, and that sort of endless dread of suffocation follows him out the threshold of the train and behind Serizawa. He knows Serizawa tells him where they’re going once (or twice—maybe even three times), but he can’t pay attention close enough to actually retain the information. Everything’s noise and imagery. Nothing means anything.

About halfway there, Reigen figures out they’re going to a hotel. For one night, Serizawa says. They’ll take a taxi back home. Serizawa asks if that’s okay—and Reigen says yes, because it’s the only word he remembers how to say. 

Serizawa tugs him down unfamiliar sidewalks in an unfamiliar city, and Reigen tries to catch his breath. It’s at least somewhat easier to breathe outside the stuffy train car, and the sharp chill of the air keeps him from slipping down under. As does Serizawa’s fingers around his wrist. 

When they finally make it to a hotel, there’s a horrifying moment where Reigen can’t find his wallet and about a thousand possibilities flutter into his brain like molten butterflies come to place a brand in his skull. (It’s actually closer to about two possibilities, but it certainly feels like a thousand.) But, no, he has his wallet—he’d just put it in the wrong pocket. Freaked out over nothing. 

Again. 

But the hotel owner is kind and helpful and takes his hysteria as exhaustion (which he is, he is exhausted but that isn’t the problem) and she takes their budget into account and offers them a single-futon room for one night. They have other rooms available but this is the only one Reigen can afford right now and he isn’t about to make Serizawa pay for it, even though he said he’d be more than willing to split the bill. 

So one futon it is. Neither of them care. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” Reigen says as they make their way down the hall and toward the elevator. He tries to keep his voice from shaking but doesn’t do a very good job of it. “I’m the reason we’re here in the first place, I don’t mind.”

“No, I can,” Serizawa argues, shaking his head. “It’ll be fine for one night, I really think you need to sleep as well as you can.” 

“I’ll sleep better knowing you aren’t on the floor.” 

Serizawa unlocks the door of their room and heads inside without saying anything else. Reigen follows him. It’s about as small and cramped as he expected, but still a breath of fresh air compared to the train car.

In the end, Serizawa determines the futon is big enough for them to each take half, and it’s the easiest way to settle things so Reigen doesn’t argue further. They don’t have toothbrushes or pajamas or anything like that, so it’s really just a matter of kicking their shoes off, deciding how much of their clothes they want to sleep in (which ends up being everything sans their jackets and ties) and finally settling down. 

For a hotel room futon, it isn’t half bad, but getting comfortable is another story. Reigen curls in on himself loosely, facing outward with his back to Serizawa. Serizawa shifts, then stills.

Then silence.

Reigen doesn’t move, not even to get comfortable. He feels like someone cemented his bones, sealed his joints. His chest is still full and tight. Reality won’t stay as it should. He draws a shuddering breath and tucks his hands close against his chest. 

“... S-Serizawa?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” 

He wishes Serizawa wouldn’t do this. Wouldn’t be so kind. Reigen can handle being yelled at, he can handle Serizawa being upset with him, but he can’t handle this level of compassion and understanding, he can’t. Not when he doesn’t deserve it.

“But, I—” 

“Reigen.” Serizawa’s voice is firm. “Don’t. Please. I don’t want you to apologize, I just—I want you to rest. Okay? We can talk in the morning.” 

Reigen shuts his mouth. The click of his teeth hurts his ears. 

And then the silence is back. 

He usually enjoys silence in the rare moments he gets it, but now, even though he knows it’s just a fabrication of his own mind, he can still hear the train, roaring in his ears as it plunges down into time and nothingness. Reigen chokes and clamps his hands over his mouth. On the opposite side of the futon, Serizawa shifts again. 

“I’m supposed to be an adult,” Reigen rasps. “I’m supposed to be able to handle this kind of stuff, I—I’m supposed to be stronger than this.” 

“We don’t want you to be strong for us all the time, Reigen,” Serizawa murmurs with a startling lack of hesitation. “We just… we want you to be okay. And, we want to know when you aren’t. That’s all. We don’t care about anything else.”

Reigen squeezes his eyes shut, unable to put words to the feeling crashing over his head. Serizawa touches his shoulder gently, and this time, he doesn’t jump. 

“Just try to get some sleep now, okay? I’m right here if you need me.”

There’s a lot Reigen wants to say, but there’s nothing left in him now. He can’t muster the energy to fight back anymore. He focuses on the weight of Serizawa’s hand on his shoulder. What that means. The sense of isolation flutters away like feathers in a strong breeze. 

“Thank you.”  

It isn’t enough to portray his true gratitude—and he isn’t sure that’s even something mere words could do—but Serizawa squeezes his shoulder. 

“You’re welcome, Reigen.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

All the signs were there. Serizawa doesn’t know how he could have missed them when they were spelled out in front of him so clearly. He should have asked if he was okay. He should have asked if he was really as fine as he said he was. He shouldn’t have let them board this train, not until he was sure. Not until he knew. 

But Reigen is always so strong, with a good head on a set of good shoulders and Serizawa never thought he was capable of breaking. He always stood strong in the midst of their storms and guided them through the winds like it was no big deal at all. 

Serizawa forgot that even pillars could crack. 

It’s the middle of the night when Serizawa wakes up to a weighted warmth tucked into his side, elbows and knees digging painfully close. Reigen’s sleeves are bunched at the elbows and Serizawa can’t imagine the sleeping position he’s in is restful in the slightest, but he is sleeping. And those black-blue bruises under his eyes aren’t going to get better any other way. 

Typically, this arrangement—with Reigen pressed so close he can feel his breath against his arm—would mortify him. But right now, Reigen isn’t his boss. Reigen is a friend, a close and dear friend, who’s hurting more than Serizawa can imagine, and he can’t let that go. He can’t turn the other way and pretend he doesn’t see it just for the sake of professionalism. 

So he adjusts as much as he dares, curves an arm around Reigen’s shoulders and lets him stay as close as he wants.

Besides. 

When has Spirits and Such ever prioritized professionalism?

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next time Serizawa wakes up, it's bright outside and Reigen is gone. 

He sits upright, blankets slipping from around his shoulders, and looks around. Reigen's coat is still hung on the back of the door, which means wherever he is he's coming back, but still. To not see him here after what happened leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. 

He snatches up his phone from the side table and flips it open. The battery is at 23%, but it should last until they get home as long as he doesn’t use it too much. A few texts shouldn’t do any harm, and figuring out just where Reigen ran off to is definitely worth the battery life. 

[Serizawa Katsuya] (6:16 AM) Hey, what's up? Where are you? 

[Reigen Arataka] (6:16 AM) bagels

[Serizawa Katsuya] (6:16 AM) ?

[Reigen Arataka] (6:17 AM) do you want blueberry or regular

[Serizawa Katsuya] (6:18 AM) I I guess blueberry ??

[Reigen Arataka] (6:18 AM) k cool

Serizawa blinks out into space. 

Reigen comes through the door roughly ten minutes later, after Serizawa has gotten up and splashed tap water into his face. Reigen is carrying a plastic bag with a brand name Serizawa isn’t familiar with, and the dark circles under his eyes are mere shadows compared to what they used to be. He still looks like he just crawled out of a coffin, but that’s still marginally better than last night. Last night, it was like he wasn’t even there at all.

“Reigen,” Serizawa says over his shoulder, tossing the hand towel onto the bathroom counter as he steps back into the room. “Where’d you—?” 

“Here.” Reigen throws a paper bag at him. It smacks him in the face and he only just catches it before it falls. “I was going to wake you but you seemed pretty comfortable, so. Good morning.”

“M… Morning.” 

Reigen then pulls two identical canned beverages from the plastic bag, and for a horrifying second Serizawa thinks he’s going to throw those, too, but no; he sets one on the side table and cracks open the other. 

“Dunno if you drink coffee, but I grabbed you one anyway.” 

Serizawa gives the pastry bag one final hard look before glancing at the can of coffee. He did have that self-set rule before about not refusing what Reigen (or anyone else at Spirits and Such) offered, but… 

“Ah, I’m… actually more of a tea drinker. Sorry.” 

Reigen shrugs. “More for me, then,” he says, and takes a sip larger than anyone has any business taking. He lowers the can, looks at the label, then tilts his head up at Serizawa. “What.” 

Serizawa holds his gaze, but then he shakes his head and moves to sit on the edge of the futon, fiddling with the lip of the bag. “You seem… chipper.” 

Reigen gives a mirthless laugh. “Heh. That’s good, because I kinda feel like my soul took a spin through a cement truck.” 

“That’s… oddly specific.” 

“Yeah.” The futon creaks; Serizawa looks over his shoulder and sees Reigen sitting at the foot of it, with the can of coffee in his lap. “God, what I wouldn’t do for a shower…” He trails off, shakes his head. “Sorry. I’m sure there’s a lot of other places you’d rather be right now. Like. Literally anywhere else.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Serizawa says. “It actually hasn’t been all that bad.” And then, he realizes what he said. “No, no, wait, no, I don’t mean—I don’t mean what happened on the train was—” 

“I know what you mean.” He takes another sip, but it’s more tentative this time. The space between them has become uneasy. “And… about that. Actually. I’m sorry. I never wanted you to see that.” 

Serizawa eases back a little. They’ve been over this, he can handle this. “It’s alright.” 

Reigen snorts, but there’s no humor in it. The sound is bitter and hateful. “Yeah, okay. Guess I’ll break down and have panic attacks more often on the bullet train in the middle of nowhere, sure.” 

Serizawa flinches. “That’s—No, that’s not what I meant.” 

“You didn’t need to see that.” Reigen squeezes the can. "You shouldn't have had to see that.”

“But I did. And it’s okay.” 

Reigen makes that sound again. Serizawa really, really wishes he wouldn’t. "Yeah. Okay. Sure."

“Reigen, listen.” Serizawa swings his legs up onto the futon and crosses them, twisting until he’s facing Reigen. He leaves the pastry bag on the side table. “Please. I don’t want you to apologize for that anymore. It’s—It’s horrible that you had to—to deal with it, but you don’t need to apologize. Sometimes those things just—they happen, y’know? It’s no one’s fault, especially not yours.” 

Reigen won’t look at him. Serizawa doesn’t know what to do. After a moment longer of silent warring and debate, he scoots a few inches closer. Reigen doesn’t move.

“... Do you want to talk?” 

“About what?” 

“About what happened at the resort.” 

Reigen pauses. His thumb taps against the side of the can. 

“Not really,” he says finally, sounding defeated. “You already know what happened, anyway, there’s nothing new to talk about.” 

“I know, but—you were there a lot longer than I was, did—” 

“Nothing happened.” The answer comes too quickly to be genuine. A lot of Reigen’s answers have been like this lately. “Seriously. Nothing happened. That was kind of the point.” 

“You were alone.” 

Reigen’s shoulders rise and fall with a long, hard breath. “... Yeah.”

Serizawa shifts. There’s a long stretch of silence that he doesn’t dare break. Eventually, Reigen drags a hand through his hair and takes a breath.

 “It was—It was empty,” he says. “Quiet. After a while the train noises just kinda became background stuff. Kinda like breathing. You’re so used to it that sometimes you just… forget.”

Serizawa doesn’t say anything. This is the most Reigen has said about the train, he isn’t about to interrupt. Reigen shifts, tucking his feet underneath him. 

“It’s not that I’ve never been alone before,” Reigen says softly, glancing out the window. “I was on my own for a while before Mob came into the picture. But this wasn’t just--being lonely. It was deeper than that. It was… It was scary. Not knowing what was happening, or why it was happening, or how to stop it. And the question of whether or not I’d ever be able to get out of there was…” He trails off and sucks in a long breath. “It was a lot.” 

Serizawa’s stomach flips into his throat. He squeezes his hands together and digs his fingernails into his palms. 

“I’m sorry,” he manages, and it’s not enough. There’s nothing he could say that could articulate how gutted he is by the knowledge, the realization, the weight. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize something was wrong, I—I could have figured it out sooner, I could have gotten you out of there, I—”

Reigen doesn’t say anything right away. He keeps tapping the side of the can. “S’not your fault.” 

“I know it’s not my fault,” Serizawa stammers out, “but I still could have—I don’t know, I could have done something.” 

“You’re doing something now.” Serizawa’s teeth snap together. Reigen swallows hard before continuing. “I don’t want you to apologize anymore, either, just—don’t. Don’t do that.” 

Serizawa looks down at his hands. He knows there’s a part of him that will never truly be forgiven, even if just by his own condemnation, but this isn’t about him right now, either. He’ll have time to deal with his own guilt over time. Over time. But not right now. 

Right now, there’s Reigen. Reigen’s all that matters to him right now. Serizawa remembers the mornings after his own panic attacks; how drained, how lost, how disoriented. How alone. And he’d be damned before he let Reigen feel that way too. 

He scoots even closer, until their knees bump. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

Reigen bites his lip. “I don’t know.” 

There’s no lie behind that. 

“... Do you want a hug?” 

Serizawa doesn’t know what possessed him to ask the question—only that he’d always wanted hugs from his mother, but never dared to get close to her for her own safety. That isn't an issue now. Reigen fiddles. 

“... Yeah. Actually. If you don’t mind.” 

Serizawa has never hugged anyone before. Even the times when his mother hugged him, she’d always been the instigator, not him. So he isn’t really sure if there’s a right way or a wrong way to do it, or if there’s some kind of ‘etiquette’ he should study beforehand. 

But that’s hindsight thinking, because right now he doesn’t think about it, and he yanks Reigen into his arms and embraces him tight. Reigen makes a startled, squeak-like noise, but he returns the gesture and digs his forehead into Serizawa’s shoulder. 

There are a lot of things in Spirits and Such.

There’s uncertainty in Spirits and Such. There’s energy in Spirits and Such, woven into its foundation and sparking up from the floorboards. There’s electricity in Spirits and Such. There’s a blazing sense of What’s going to happen today? in Spirits and Such, an anticipation that makes every moment an experience and every day a journey. 

But more than that, there’s hope in Spirits and Such. There’s help in Spirits and Such. There’s love in Spirits and Such. The business Reigen built on a whim, the business that’s since become a home for lost people. And maybe Serizawa is thinking too far into it. Maybe he’s putting poetry where logic belongs. 

But there is something about Spirits and Such. Something he thought he had with Claw, but didn’t realize how twisted that distortion of it was until he had the real thing. 

Acceptance. Love. Friendship.

Serizawa squeezes Reigen tighter.

“Reigen?” 

“Yeah?” Reigen’s voice is thick and muffled. 

“Promise me one thing.” 

“... Okay.” 

“Say something.” His voice breaks like ice under hot water, and he buries his face into Reigen’s shoulder too. “Next time. Please. Promise me you’ll say something.” 

Reigen takes a breath. It’s shuddering, shaky. He feels the effort behind it. 

“Okay.” Voice like a whisper, Reigen hugs him tighter. “Okay, I will. I promise.” 

Serizawa doesn’t say anything else. 

He hopes Reigen feels the same way. About Spirits and Such. He hopes he feels that same acceptance, that same love, that same friendship. 

And if he doesn’t yet, well. Serizawa and the others will keep showing him until he does.