#jay castillo x you

[kaiyunsim]

just a boy —

pairing : fuckboy!jay x gn!reader

summary : you meet jay at a party where you reject him after making a move… he likes it when they play hard to get.

warnings : angst, fluff, more angst than fluff tbh, uni au, reader is a freshman, jay is older, featuring heeseung + jake, jisung from nct, and minju from illit

a/n : omg fun to write is actually an understatement. i hope it turned out fun to read :) also for my pookie @writhyv

queueing : just a boy - alaina castillo,

— wc : 6.6 — not proof read —

you don't really care about parties. they're loud, crowded, and always filled with people trying too hard. but minju drags you along anyway, insisting that you need to "experience the university nightlife" at least once.

"come on, it'll be fun," she says, looping her arm through yours. "plus, jisung bailed on me, and i am not third-wheeling jake and his situationship all night."

so now you're here, standing awkwardly in the corner of a frat house, gripping a red solo cup filled with something that smells suspiciously like gasoline. minju is already off somewhere, talking to a girl from her english class, and you're left to watch as people dance, drink, and make questionable decisions.

"you look miserable," a voice says from beside you.

you turn and come face to face with park jongseong, jay, as everyone calls him. you know his name, even if you've never spoken before. he's older, popular, and has a reputation that follows him everywhere he goes.

flirt. player. fuckboy.

minju has warned you about him. "he's hot, yeah, but he's the kind of guy who doesn't do relationships. he flirts, hooks up, and moves on. trust me, i've seen it happen."

but none of that matters, because you have no plans to entertain him.

jay grins at you, leaning against the wall like he owns the place. he's got that easy confidence, the kind that comes with knowing he's attractive and that people want him.

"not a fan of parties?" he asks, tilting his head.

you shrug. "not really."

he chuckles. "then why are you here?"

"minju."

his eyebrows raise slightly. "you know minju?"

"from high school." you say, keeping your answers short.

"interesting," he muses, eyes scanning your face like he's trying to place you somewhere in his memory. he doesn't seem to recognize you, though, which isn't surprising. you've never exactly run in the same circles.

"so," he says, shifting closer. "wanna dance?"

it's not a question, not really. it's the kind of offer people don't usually refuse, not when it comes from him. jay park doesn't get turned down.

but you just blink at him and say, "no, thanks."

his smile falters, just for a second, before he recovers. "really? you sure? i promise i'm a good dancer."

"i'm sure." you say with a fake smile, giving off the vibe that you’re annoyed

he lets out a soft laugh, like he can't believe you're actually rejecting him. his ego must be bruised, but he hides it well, still looking at you with interest.

"alright," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "then how about a drink? i can get you something better than… whatever that is." he nods at your cup.

"i'm good."

"wow," he murmurs, shaking his head in amusement. "you're really not making this easy for me, huh?"

"should i?"

he grins, running a hand through his dark hair. "most people do."

"well, i'm not most people."

jay studies you for a moment, like he's trying to figure out why you're different. why you're not reacting the way everyone else does. you don't bat your lashes at him, don't giggle or play into his flirting. and for some reason, instead of turning him away, it only seems to intrigue him more.

"i like you," he says suddenly.

you roll your eyes. "you don't even know me."

"not yet," he agrees, "but i’d like to."

there's something almost playful in his voice, but you know better. jay isn’t interested in getting to know people. he's interested in chasing, in winning. and right now, you’re just another game to him.

"keep liking me from a distance," you say, brushing past him.

you don’t look back, but you feel his eyes on you as you walk away.

for the first time in his life, park jongseong has been rejected. and somehow, you think that only makes him more determined.

—

you don't think much about your encounter with jay. to you, it was just another conversation at a party, one you barely wanted to be at in the first place.

but apparently, jay thinks otherwise.

it starts with small things.

you see him at the campus café, where he just so happens to show up right behind you in line.

"oh, hey," he says casually, as if running into you is pure coincidence.

you glance at him, unimpressed. "hey."

"what are you getting?"

you turn back to the menu. "haven't decided."

"let me guess," he hums, tapping a finger against his chin like he's solving some great mystery. "you seem like a caramel macchiato kind of person."

you raise a brow. "what does that even mean?"

jay grins, leaning in slightly. "sweet, but a little bitter if you get on their bad side."

"so basically, you're guessing."

"i call it an educated guess," he says, nodding at the cashier. "get one. my treat."

"no, thanks."

he lets out a dramatic sigh. "you really don't like accepting things from me, huh?"

"nope."

instead of looking discouraged, jay just watches as you place your order, an iced americano, completely different from what he guessed.

he chuckles. "so i was way off."

"yup."

you take your drink and leave without another word. jay doesn’t follow, but you swear you feel his stare on your back as you walk away.

it keeps happening.

and then, one afternoon, you’re sitting under a tree, trying to get through an assignment, when someone drops into the grass beside you.

"you always look so serious," jay muses.

you don’t even glance up. "because i'm trying to focus."

"right, right." he leans back on his hands. "but don't you ever take a break?"

"nope."

"come on," he nudges your knee with his. "five minutes won't kill you."

you sigh, finally looking at him. "do you need something?"

jay flashes you that same easy grin, the one that probably gets him whatever he wants. "just your company."

"i think you’ll survive without it."

he clutches his chest dramatically. "ouch. you wound me."

"you’ll live."

jay just laughs, shaking his head. "you know, you’re making this really difficult."

"making what difficult?"

"getting to know you."

"who said i wanted you to?"

he stares at you for a moment, eyes glinting with something unreadable. then, instead of answering, he stands up and dusts himself off.

"alright," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "guess i’ll try again tomorrow."

before you can process his words, he's already walking away.

"okay, what is going on?" minju asks a few days later, sliding into the seat across from you in the dining hall.

"what do you mean?"

she gestures dramatically. "you and jay. he keeps staring at you. he keeps showing up wherever you are."

"it's just a coincidence."

"coincidence my ass," she huffs. "he’s interested."

"interested in what? flirting with someone who doesn’t want to flirt back?"

"exactly!" minju exclaims. "he's never been rejected before! you’re like. like. his first loss."

"not a loss," you correct. "just… not a win."

"same thing in his mind." she leans in, eyes narrowing. "be honest. do you like him?"

you snort. "no."

"not even a little?"

"minju, he flirts with anything that breathes."

"true," she concedes, stabbing a piece of her salad. "but he’s never tried this hard before."

you roll your eyes. "and that’s exactly why i’m not interested. he only wants what he can’t have."

"so you think if you gave in, he’d lose interest?"

"obviously. but it’s not like i want him to be interested in the first place,”

but what you don’t see is jay, sitting at another table with jake and heeseung, watching you from across the room.

"so," heeseung says, "still trying?"

jay sips his drink, not looking away. "yup."

jake shakes his head, laughing. "dude, you're obsessed."

"i'm not obsessed," jay scoffs. "i'm just… interested."

heeseung raises a brow. "in what? winning?"

jay pauses. that should be the answer. that’s how it always is. he flirts, he wins, he moves on. but this time, it feels different.

"i dunno," he mutters, eyes still locked on you. "but i wanna find out."

and just like that, park jongseong makes it his mission to make you fall for him.

whether you want to or not.

—

you’re starting to think the universe has a cruel sense of humor.

there’s no other explanation for why jay park keeps showing up everywhere you go.

first, it’s the café… again. you stop by for your usual iced americano, and there he is, leaning against the counter like he has all the time in the world. when he sees you, his lips curl into a smirk.

"you stalking me now?" he teases.

you blink at him. "this is literally my usual spot."

"yeah?" he muses, stepping aside so you can order. "funny. seems like it’s mine now too."

you ignore him and pay for your drink, but as you turn to leave, he suddenly holds out a muffin. "here."

you frown. "what is this?"

"peace offering," he says. "for annoying you so much."

"i don't want it."

jay tuts, shaking his head. "harsh. you don’t like sweets?"

"i don’t like you."

he laughs, completely unbothered. "that’s not true. you just won’t admit you think i’m funny."

you roll your eyes and walk past him, but not before he calls out, "see you around!"

unfortunately, he’s right.

the second time, it’s the library.

you’re sitting at a table, halfway through an essay, when someone slides into the seat across from you.

you don’t need to look up. "seriously?"

jay rests his chin on his palm, grinning. "seriously."

"do you even study?"

"i do now." he gestures to his laptop, which, sure enough, is open.

you sigh and turn back to your work, ignoring him completely. for the first ten minutes, he’s quiet, and you start to think maybe—just maybe—he’s actually here to study.

but then he leans forward. "you always this focused?"

"yes."

"cute," he murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear.

you finally look at him, unimpressed. "why are you here?"

"what, a guy can’t expand his knowledge?"

"you haven’t typed a single word."

jay glances at his screen, where his essay is blank. he shrugs. "i’m thinking."

"about what?"

"about how long it’s gonna take for you to admit you like having me around."

you let out a slow breath, standing up and gathering your things. "good luck with that."

"where you going?"

"somewhere quiet."

jay watches you leave, the smirk never leaving his face.

you think that’s the end of it.

until your professor assigns a group project.

"you’ll be working in pairs," she says. "check the list for your partner."

you scan the names, looking for yours, and freeze.

park jongseong.

"you’ve got to be kidding me," you mutter.

"what?" minju asks, peering over your shoulder. then she snorts. "oh. wow. the universe really has it out for you."

you groan, dropping your head onto the desk.

"who’d you get?"

you glance up to see jisung standing beside you, holding his own paper.

"jay," minju answers for you.

jisung grimaces. "yikes."

"yep."

before you can say anything else, someone taps your shoulder.

"guess we’re partners," jay says, voice far too amused.

you sigh. "don’t remind me.”

—

working with jay is… not as painful as you expected.

you still don’t like him. obviously. but he’s not completely useless.

turns out, he’s actually smart. and organized. he doesn’t slack off or make you do all the work. and—annoyingly—he’s kind of funny.

you realize this when you’re both at the library, bouncing ideas off each other.

"okay, so we could go with this topic," you say, scrolling through the research.

jay hums. "or we could pick something that won’t make me want to throw myself off a building."

you bite back a smile. "dramatic much?"

"you’re underestimating my ability to get bored."

"i think that’s just your problem."

jay gasps, placing a hand over his chest. "ouch. i thought we were bonding."

"we’re working."

"same thing."

you shake your head, but you don’t argue.

slowly, things shift.

you still tell yourself that jay is just playing a game. but sometimes, you catch him looking at you—really looking—and for a moment, it doesn’t feel like one.

like when you’re at the library, and you yawn without thinking.

"tired?" he asks.

"obviously."

without a word, he slides his drink toward you.

you blink. "what—"

"it’s an americano," he says simply.

you hesitate, then take a sip. "it’s sweet."

jay shrugs. "i like sugar."

you give him a look. "so you were way off when you guessed my order last time."

he grins. "guess so."

you shake your head, but you don’t push the drink back.

—

"okay, so he’s not the worst person alive," you admit later.

minju stares at you. "who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"i’m serious," you say. "he’s… fine. actually kind of helpful."

minju sighs. "that’s how it starts."

"how what starts?"

"you start thinking he’s not that bad. then, before you know it, you’re catching feelings."

"i’m not catching anything."

she gives you a look. "just be careful, okay? he’s only this persistent because you’re the first person to say no."

you nod, but her words stick in your head.

you tell yourself you don’t care.

but then one night, you’re leaving the library, and jay is waiting outside.

"walking alone at this hour?" he muses. "dangerous."

you raise an eyebrow. "and you’re what? my bodyguard?"

jay smirks. "i could be."

"no thanks."

"still," he says, falling into step beside you. "i’ll walk you back."

"you don’t have to."

"i know."

you sigh, but you let him.

the walk is quiet, save for the sound of your footsteps. when you reach your building, you stop.

"this is me," you say.

jay nods. "guess i’ll see you tomorrow."

"guess so."

he hesitates, then lifts a hand, ruffling your hair before you can react.

you blink. "what the—"

he just grins. "goodnight."

then he’s gone, leaving you standing there, heart doing something it definitely shouldn’t be doing.

this is bad.

really bad.

—

the next party is loud, too loud. music shakes the floor, conversations overlap, and the air is thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat. you don’t even know why you’re here.

well. you do.

minju dragged you out, saying you’ve been too cooped up with schoolwork and your stupid group project (which, unfortunately, includes jay park). jisung backed her up, insisting you needed to “socialize like a normal human being.”

so now you’re here, standing in the corner of someone’s crowded apartment, gripping a half-empty cup of soda because you don’t drink, and pretending you’re interested in whatever minju is talking about.

until you see him.

jay.

you tell yourself you shouldn’t be surprised. parties are his thing, after all. loud music, dim lighting, a sea of people who’d fall into his arms without hesitation.

he fits right in.

too well.

you spot him across the room, leaning against the wall, that lazy smirk on his lips. there’s a girl beside him, standing too close, laughing at something he just said. she tilts her head, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. jay doesn’t move away.

he says something else, something that makes her giggle, and then he leans in,,, just a little.

your stomach twists.

it’s stupid. so, so stupid.

this is what he does. this is who he is. he flirts with everyone. you’ve seen it before. you knew this about him before he even knew your name.

but tonight, it bothers you.

you don’t know why, and you don’t want to think about it.

"you okay?" minju asks, nudging your arm.

"yeah," you say too quickly. "just… tired."

she eyes you but doesn’t press. "wanna leave soon?"

you nod. "yeah."

but before you can say anything else, you feel a presence beside you.

"hey," a familiar voice says.

you turn, and there he is.

jay.

his smirk is gone.

"what do you want?" you ask, not in the mood for whatever game he’s playing tonight.

he hesitates, glancing at minju, then back at you. "can we talk?"

"no."

he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "please?"

minju looks between the two of you, then slowly backs away. "i’ll be over there," she says, pointing to jisung.

you cross your arms. "what?"

jay doesn’t answer right away. instead, he exhales, then jerks his head toward the door. "outside?"

you should say no. you should walk away. but there’s something in his eyes, something that makes your chest feel too tight, so you follow him out.

the cool night air is a relief against your heated skin. outside, the noise is muffled, distant, like the party belongs to a different world.

you stop a few steps away from the door, crossing your arms. "well?"

jay shoves his hands into his pockets. "you looked upset."

you scoff. "why do you care?"

"because," he says, stepping closer, "i do."

you laugh, but it’s humorless. "you flirt with someone else, then come running after me? what is this, jay?"

his jaw tightens. "it’s not like that."

"really? because it sure as hell looked like it."

"you think i do this with everyone?" his voice is sharper now, frustration leaking through. "yeah, i flirt, but this,whatever this is, is different, and you know it."

your breath catches.

different.

he said it first.

but that doesn’t change anything.

"do i?" you challenge. "because it looks exactly the same to me."

jay groans, running a hand through his hair. "i didn’t even realize what i was doing."

"that’s not making this better."

"i know!" he snaps. "i just—fuck."

he exhales, tilting his head back like he’s trying to find the right words in the sky. then, softer, he says, "it’s a habit, okay? flirting, keeping things surface-level. that’s just how i’ve always been."

you swallow, suddenly unsure. "then why are you here?"

jay takes another step forward, close enough that you can see the tension in his shoulders, the crease in his brows.

"because i don’t want this to be surface-level," he admits. "not with you."

the words knock the air out of your lungs.

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then you say, "so what? you want me to believe that you’re suddenly different?"

"i don’t know," he admits. "but i know i don’t want to fuck this up."

you stare at him, at the raw honesty in his expression.

this is dangerous territory.

you should walk away.

you don’t.

but then you think about that girl inside, the way he leaned in so easily, the way it took him this long to come after you.

"you say that," you murmur, voice quieter now, "but you still went back to your usual thing the second i wasn’t around."

jay flinches.

"it didn’t mean anything," he says, quickly, desperately. "i wasn’t even thinking about her."

"exactly," you say bitterly. "you weren’t thinking at all."

jay opens his mouth, then closes it.

"you don’t even realize what you’re doing," you continue, voice tight. "you don’t realize how easily you slip into old habits. you say this is different, but are you sure?"

"yes," jay says, without hesitation.

you laugh, but it’s broken. "then why do i feel like i’m just setting myself up to get hurt?"

he doesn’t have an answer for that.

silence stretches between you, heavy and suffocating.

jay looks like he wants to say something, to fix this somehow, but what is there to fix? he’s still the same jay park who flirts with everyone, who doesn’t think before he acts, who only realizes too late that he might actually care.

"you’re not ready for this," you whisper.

"i am," he insists, but there’s something fragile in his voice, something that tells you even he isn’t sure if he’s telling the truth.

you shake your head. "i don’t think you are."

jay reaches out, just a little, like he wants to touch you, like he wants you to stay.

but you step back.

his hand drops.

and with that, you turn around and walk away.

jay doesn’t call after you.

he doesn’t chase you this time.

and maybe that tells you everything you need to know.

—

you avoid him.

it’s not hard at first. you’re in different years, different circles. you stop going to the café where you know he likes to hang out between classes, ignore the parties minju tries to drag you to, and duck your head whenever you spot him on campus.

the only problem is that jay notices.

you’re not sure when it happens, but at some point, jay park—fuckboy, campus heartbreaker, the guy who shouldn’t care—is suddenly watching you.

you feel it in the way his eyes linger too long when you pass by in the hallway, in the way his conversations falter when you’re around, in the way his whole demeanor shifts whenever you deliberately turn away.

he doesn’t chase after you.

but he’s not ignoring it, either.

and that’s what makes it worse.

it would be easier if he didn’t care, if he went right back to flirting with someone else like nothing ever happened. but he doesn’t.

and that terrifies you.

so you run faster.

"okay, what is wrong with you?"

jay exhales sharply, gripping the pool cue tighter. "nothing."

"bullshit."

heeseung snatches the stick out of his hands before he can even attempt a shot. jay scowls, reaching for it, but heeseung just leans away.

"bro, you’ve been in the worst mood for, like, a week," jake says, spinning an unmarked beer bottle between his fingers. "just admit it."

jay glares. "admit what?"

heeseung rolls his eyes. "that you’re being a little bitch about this whole thing."

jay scoffs. "about what?"

"oh my god," jake groans. "are you in denial, or just stupid?"

jay clenches his jaw. "neither."

heeseung and jake share a look, and jay hates that they’re silently communicating in that annoying, knowing way that only best friends do.

"listen," heeseung starts, "you don’t do feelings. we get it. but this? whatever’s happening between you and—"

"don’t say their name," jay mutters, looking away.

heeseung smirks. "oh, so you do care?"

jay exhales, tilting his head back against the worn leather of the booth.

fuck.

he doesn’t know what this is.

he just knows that it sucks.

he didn’t think avoiding them would be a big deal. people walk away from him all the time, sometimes before he can even do it first.

but this?

this feels different.

it feels like something is missing. like something is slipping through his fingers and he’s too fucking slow to catch it.

"you don’t even like people," jake points out.

jay sighs. "i like you guys."

"yeah, but we don’t count," heeseung snorts. "we’re basically required to deal with your bullshit."

jay scoffs, shoving his shoulder, but heeseung just grins.

then, quieter, he says, "this is the first time you’ve actually looked miserable over someone."

jay doesn’t answer.

"so what are you gonna do about it?" jake asks.

jay exhales, drumming his fingers against the table.

he doesn’t know.

but he knows he can’t keep pretending this is nothing.

not anymore.

—

you don’t know why you look.

it’s just a normal afternoon. you’re heading toward the library, minju walking beside you, talking about something jisung said earlier.

and then you see him.

jay is standing near the campus courtyard, golden light catching the sharp edges of his jawline. he’s not alone.

there’s a girl with him. she’s standing close—too close. her hand is on his arm, fingers curling lightly around the sleeve of his jacket. she laughs at something he says, head tilting, eyes locked on his.

and jay?

jay just smiles.

it’s the same smile you’ve seen before, the same effortless charm, the same easy confidence that has made him a campus legend. he leans in slightly, talking low, his posture relaxed like he’s done this a thousand times.

because he has.

your chest tightens.

"hey, you okay?" minju asks beside you, nudging your arm.

you snap your gaze away, pulse quickening. you shouldn’t care. you knew what he was like before you even met him. you knew he flirted with anyone he found attractive, that he never had to try, that he never faced rejection.

you knew he was never meant to be serious.

so why does it feel like something inside you is caving in?

"yeah," you mumble. "just remembered something i have to do."

minju frowns, but you don’t give her a chance to question it. before she can say anything, you turn and walk the other way, ignoring the burning feeling in your chest.

you don’t look back.

and jay doesn’t notice you leaving.

yet, jay can tell something’s wrong.

he doesn’t know what it is, but he can feel it.

it’s in the way you won’t look at him, the way you walk past him like he’s just another face in the crowd.

at first, he thinks he’s imagining it. you were never friends to begin with—maybe you were just busy, maybe this is normal.

but the shift is undeniable.

before, you’d at least acknowledge him. you’d give him a polite nod, a passing glance, sometimes even a subtle eyeroll when you caught him flirting.

now?

nothing.

he sees you on campus, and you don’t even flinch.

he walks past your usual café, and you’re not there.

he catches you in the library and for a second. just a second. he swears you meet his gaze.

but then you turn away.

like he’s not even there.

he doesn’t plan to confront you.

but after a week of this, of whatever this is, he finds himself standing outside your dorm, hands shoved in his pockets, frustration bubbling under his skin.

he doesn’t even know why he’s here.

it’s not like you owe him anything.

but still, he knocks.

no answer.

he exhales sharply, rocking back on his heels, debating whether to try again.

then, he hears footsteps.

"what are you doing here?"

jay turns, finding jisung standing a few feet away, arms crossed.

"looking for y/n," jay says. "they’ve been… acting weird."

jisung raises an eyebrow. "and you just noticed?"

jay frowns. "what’s that supposed to mean?"

jisung exhales, shaking his head. "they saw you," he says simply.

jay’s stomach tightens. "...what?"

"the other day. in the courtyard. with that girl."

jay blinks, the memory slotting into place. shit.

"they saw you smiling at her," jisung continues, his voice even but firm. "letting her touch you. looking at her the way they thought—" he stops himself, sighing. "never mind."

jay’s pulse kicks up. "you think they—"

"they think they were stupid for believing you might actually be different with them," jisung cuts in, sharper now. "they think they almost fell for the same bullshit you pull on everyone else."

jay clenches his jaw.

fuck.

he wasn’t thinking. he didn’t even realize.

but now, remembering the moment, the way the girl had laughed, the way she had leaned in, the way he hadn’t pulled away—

he understands.

and it feels like he just lost something important without even knowing he had it.

"if you’re gonna say something, make it worth their time," jisung says. "because right now? they don’t want anything to do with you."

jay doesn’t answer.

because for the first time in his life, he’s the one who got it wrong.

he’s the one who let something real slip through his fingers.

and he has no idea how to fix it.

but he knows one thing—

he has to try.

—

you don’t expect him to be waiting for you.

it’s late. you just finished a study session with minju, and all you want is to go back to your dorm, crawl under the covers, and forget about everything—forget about him.

but as soon as you step into the dimly lit hallway leading to your room, you see him.

jay.

leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, jaw tight, eyes dark with something unreadable.

your heart stutters.

you hesitate, debating whether to turn around, pretend you didn’t see him. but then he looks up—really looks at you—and you know there’s no escape.

"we need to talk," he says, pushing off the wall.

fuck jisung for letting him in.

"i don’t think we do," you mutter, stepping past him, reaching for your door.

but before you can, jay moves, his hand catching your wrist—gently, cautiously, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away.

"please," he says.

you freeze.

he’s never said please before. at least, not like this. not as desperate as this.

slowly, you turn to face him, sighing. "jay—"

"just let me say this," he cuts in, eyes burning with something raw, something you’ve never seen on him before. desperation.

you press your lips together but nod.

jay exhales, running a hand through his hair. "i—fuck, i don’t know how to do this," he mutters, shaking his head. "i’m not good at this."

"then don’t," you say, voice sharper than you intended. "don’t stand here and feed me some excuse about how you 'don’t do relationships' or 'didn’t mean to hurt me.' i don’t want to hear it."

jay flinches. "that’s not what i was gonna say."

you cross your arms. "then what?"

he swallows hard, eyes flickering to the floor before meeting yours again. "i—i don’t know how to do this, because i’ve never felt like this before."

your breath catches.

"i didn’t even realize what i was doing," jay continues, voice quieter now. "i didn’t think. i’ve never had to. flirting, messing around—it’s just… easy. but you—" he exhales sharply. "you make things different."

you shake your head. "jay—"

"i don’t want anyone else," he interrupts, stepping closer, voice steady. "just you."

your chest tightens.

"and when you get bored?" you ask, voice barely above a whisper. "when someone new comes along?"

jay shakes his head immediately. "i don’t think i could ever get bored of you."

it’s too much.

too much to believe, too much to trust, too much to risk.

"how am i supposed to believe that?" you ask, eyes searching his face. "how am i supposed to believe you won’t wake up one day and decide i was just another name on your list?"

jay exhales, stepping even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. "because no one’s ever made me feel like this before."

your pulse is loud in your ears.

"i don’t know how to do relationships," he admits, voice low, honest. "i don’t know how to be what you deserve. but i want to try. i want to figure it out—with you."

he’s so close now. close enough that you can smell the faint scent of his cologne, close enough that you can see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear of being rejected, of losing you.

you shouldn’t.

you should walk away.

you should protect yourself, guard your heart, not fall for the one person who could break you the easiest.

but then jay reaches up, fingers brushing against your cheek, his touch hesitant, almost trembling.

"please," he murmurs, his voice almost breaking.

jay park—unshakable, confident, the fuckboy—is breaking in front of you.

and against all logic, all reason—you fall.

before you can think, before you can stop yourself, you close the space between you.

his breath catches, just for a second, before his lips press against yours, warm and desperate.

jay kisses you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, like he’s trying to prove every word he just said. his hands cup your face, pulling you closer, holding you like you’re something fragile—something precious.

and when you kiss him back, letting yourself believe—just for this moment—that maybe, just maybe, this could be real, he sighs against your lips, like he’s just found something he’s been searching for all along.

—

your relationship with jay park is different.

you knew it wouldn’t be easy, falling for someone who never had to try, who never had to work for love. but you never expected this.

never expected him to try so hard.

at first, it’s awkward. jay doesn’t know what he’s doing. he’s used to effortless flirting, meaningless hookups, relationships that start and end in the span of a night.

but with you?

he wants to be better. he wants to be different.

so he does things he’s never done before.

he waits for you after class, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, eyes lighting up when he sees you.

"did you eat?" he asks one day, falling into step beside you.

you blink. "uh… yeah?"

jay nods, looking relieved. "okay. cool. just—yeah. cool."

he’s awkward. jay park, campus fuckboy, the smooth talker who never falters, is awkward.

you bite back a smile. "did you eat?"

he hesitates.

you raise an eyebrow. "jay."

he clears his throat. "…no."

you sigh, grabbing his sleeve and dragging him toward the campus café. he lets you, grinning like you just gave him the world.

the first time he reaches for your hand, it’s so casual that you almost miss it.

you’re sitting next to each other, watching a movie in the dorm common room. your hand rests between you, fingers brushing against his.

then, slowly, hesitantly, jay links his pinky with yours.

your heart stutters.

you glance at him, but he’s staring straight at the screen, his jaw tight, his ears slightly red.

you bite your lip.

then, without a word, you let your fingers slip fully into his.

jay stiffens for half a second. then, his grip tightens, and he exhales, shoulders relaxing.

he doesn’t let go for the rest of the movie.

he’s not used to jealousy.

or rather, he’s not used to his own jealousy.

he’s seen people get possessive over him before, watched girls glare when he flirted with someone new, felt the heat of their disappointment when they realized he wasn’t theirs.

but now?

now he understands.

he understands because he’s standing in the middle of campus, watching some guy—some random guy—smile at you like he has a chance.

and jay hates it.

he crosses the distance before he can think, sliding an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his side.

"hey, baby," he murmurs, voice low, casual, possessive.

your eyes widen. "jay?"

"who’s this?" jay asks, looking at the guy.

the guy blinks, glancing between the two of you. "uh, just—just a classmate."

jay smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "cool. yeah. we gotta go, though."

you barely have time to say goodbye before jay is leading you away, his grip firm but gentle.

once you’re out of earshot, you elbow him. "what was that?"

jay shrugs. "didn’t like the way he was looking at you."

you roll your eyes. "you can’t just—"

he stops walking, turning to face you, eyes serious. "i know i don’t have the right," he admits. "but i don’t like it. i don’t like the idea of someone else thinking they can have you."

your breath catches.

"you’re mine," jay says, voice softer now. "right?"

you stare at him for a moment.

then, finally, you sigh, reaching up to flick his forehead.

"yeah," you mutter. "i’m yours."

jay grins, rubbing his forehead. "damn right."

heeseung and jake pretend to be disgusted.

"you’re whipped," jake says, shaking his head.

"nah, man, this is worse than we thought," heeseung adds. "he’s holding hands in public."

jay glares at them from across the table, but he doesn’t let go of your hand.

"you guys are just mad i have a functional love life," he says.

jake snorts. "yeah, sure. functional."

"bet he calls them ‘baby’ over text," heeseung whispers loudly.

jake gasps. "you think he—"

"shut up," jay groans.

you’re trying not to laugh. "do you?"

jay glares at you, but his ears are red. "i hate you."

you grin. "you love me."

jay rolls his eyes.

but then, under the table, he gives your hand a squeeze.

and you know—

even if he’ll never admit it out loud—

he really does.

—

you constantly look back and don’t know when you started believing him.

maybe it was the first time he held your hand without thinking, his fingers curling around yours so naturally, like he didn’t need to pretend anymore.

or maybe it was when he let you steal his hoodie, even though you were sure he’d never let anyone do that before.

or maybe—just maybe—it was when you saw the way he looked at you.

because it’s different now.

jay park, the guy who used to flirt with anyone just for fun, the guy who never stuck around, only looks at you.

"okay, but seriously," jake says, pointing a fry at jay. "how the hell did this happen?"

you’re sitting in the corner booth of a diner near campus, squeezed between jay and the wall. heeseung and jake are across from you, both staring like you’re some kind of unsolvable mystery.

jay takes a slow sip of his drink. "what do you mean?"

"you!" heeseung gestures wildly. "relationship jay. committed jay. ‘not flirting with every breathing human’ jay."

"it’s called growth," jay deadpans.

"it’s called ‘i fell first, and i fell hard,’" jake teases, smirking.

jay huffs. "whatever, man."

but he doesn’t deny it.

heeseung leans forward, grinning. "okay, but who confessed first?"

jay opens his mouth—

"me, obviously," you interrupt.

jay’s head snaps toward you. "what?"

you shrug. "you’re a coward. took you forever to admit you liked me."

jake laughs. "ohhh, he got you there."

jay glares at you, but you just smile, nudging his foot under the table.

you laugh, “joking, it’s complicated.”

heeseung rests his chin in his palm. "man, i never thought i’d see the day."

"what day?" you ask, amused.

"the day jay park became a simp."

jay groans, burying his face in his hands. "i hate all of you."

you pat his arm. "no, you don’t."

he exhales, tilting his head to look at you. his eyes soften.

"yeah," he murmurs. "i don’t."

—

later that night, after jay walks you back to your dorm, you linger outside the door.

he doesn’t leave right away.

instead, he leans against the wall, hands in his pockets, just looking at you.

you tilt your head. "what?"

jay hesitates, then exhales sharply.

"it’s weird," he mutters. "this whole time, i thought i had everything figured out. i thought i knew what i wanted. but then you came along, and suddenly, nothing made sense anymore."

your chest tightens.

"i didn’t get it at first," jay continues, eyes flickering to the ground. "why i got so annoyed when you ignored me. why i kept looking for you in every room. why i couldn’t flirt with anyone else without feeling like it was wrong."

he finally meets your gaze.

"but now i do."

your fingers tighten around the door handle, heartbeat loud in your ears.

"i don’t want to be the guy i was before," he murmurs. "not with you."

you swallow. "jay—"

"i know i’m not good at this," he cuts in. "i know i’m gonna mess up. i know i don’t deserve you."

his voice drops lower, almost hesitant. almost afraid.

"but i want to try. and i want you to let me."

for a moment, neither of you speak.

then, finally—

you sigh, shaking your head. "god, you’re such an idiot."

jay blinks. "huh?"

you step forward, grabbing the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down until your foreheads touch.

"you’ve had me this whole time," you murmur.

jay’s breath stutters.

then, slowly—hesitantly—his arms wrap around you, holding you against him, warm and real.

"yeah?" he whispers.

you nod. "yeah."

jay exhales a shaky laugh, squeezing you tighter.

"thank god," he mutters. "i don’t think i could’ve handled losing you."

you smile against his shoulder.

neither could you.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Actual footage of me reading this chapter:

HOLY FUCK.

HO

LY

FUCKKKKKKKKKK.

Gonna go pass out now.

Nightingale - Part 8

Pairing: Jay Castillo x Female Reader

Word Count: 10,334

Rating: Not Safe For Work. Explicit. There’s lots of things going on here. (including a first for Reader)

Summary: As your relationship with Jay turns from a friendship into more, both of you are wary about taking it too far, too fast - but sometimes, a push from the least expected place is all you need. 

Author’s note:

A literal year later, and here we are. I’m so, so SO sorry that it’s taken so long to get back to these two. We’re back with a literal bang, so I really hope anyone that reads this enjoys it. And if you’ve stuck around while I went off on quite a few tangents with other characters … thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

There are only a few more parts of this story to come, so hopefully I can knock them out in a more timely fashion. We’ll see. 

Catch up on the first five parts here: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

When he woke up the next morning, the first thing he registered was the sound of your quiet breathing. It surprised him - especially after months of sleeping alone in the loft. For a few seconds, Jay was too stunned to speak, the man’s eyes easing open only enough to take in the sight of your head on the pillows next to his. 

Keep reading

[firsttarotreader]

Pedro Pascal Characters Tarot Deck

(Ongoing)

Major Arcana

0 - The Fool - Lucien Flores

I - The Magician - Max Lord

II - The High Priestess - Nico

III - The Empress - Mrs. Flores

IV - The Emperor - Javier Peña

V - The Hierophant - Marcus Acacius

VI - The Lovers - Marcus Pike

VII - The Chariot - Din Djarin

VIII - Justice - Marcus Moreno

IX - The Hermit - Zach Wellison

X - The Wheel of Fortune - Max Phillips

XI - Strength - Frankie Morales

XII - The Hanged Man - Joel Miller

XIII - Death - Ezra

XIV - Temperance - Silva

XV - The Devil - Dieter Bravo

XVI - The Tower - Pero Tovar

XVII - The Star - Javi Gutierrez

XVIII - The Moon - Dave York

XIX - The Sun - Oberyn Martell

XX - Judgement - Whiskey

XXI - The World - Charlie

Minor Arcana

Wands

King of Wands - Pedro Pascal (Special)

Knight of Wands - Claude

Page of Wands - Omar Assarian

2 of Wands - Billy

3 of Wands - Special Agent Ortega

5 of Wands - Ted Garcia

6 of Wands - Renaldo (Reynaldo)

7 of Wands - Nathan Landry

8 of Wands - Eddie

9 of Wands - Mario

10 of Wands - Clint

Cups

Knight of Cups - Unnamed Character (Fire Meet Gasoline)

Page of Cups - Jay Castillo

Ace of Cups - David

2 of Cups - Steve

3 of Cups - Unnamed Character (Wing Pit)

4 of Cups - Unnamed Character (Hope)

5 of Cups - Kevin “Kip” Green

6 of Cups - Robert

7 of Cups - The Wanderer

Swords

King of Swords - Reed Richards

Knight of Swords - Edmund

Page of Swords - Fink

Ace of Swords - Tim Rockford

3 of Swords - Ricky Hauk

4 of Swords - Dan Landry

5 of Swords - Shane “Dio” Morrissey

6 of Swords - Pietro Alvarez

7 of Swords - Comandante Veracruz

Pentacles

Knight of Pentacles - Mr. Ben

Page of Pentacles - Paulino

2 of Pentacles - Ed Indelicato

7 of Pentacles - Pedro

9 of Pentacles - “The Thief”

More characters and cards to come!

Now my artist friend at OsoStudios is making the Pedro Tarot cards artworks and you can check them all in her store:

Redbubble

[musings-of-a-rose]

Jay Castillo Masterlist

*=indicates smut or eventual smut (see fic warnings for details)

One Shots:

Coming Soon

Series Masterlists:

Coming Soon

[artemiseamoon]

What I’ve written & plan to write: March, April, May 2022

See previous ones (writing roundup ups)

Steven Grant /Moonknight

Our lonely hearts

…

Oscar Isaac

Inside Llewyn Davis

Triple frontier

All the guys / Will pairing

A lighthouse in the dark

All the guys appear / Santi focus

A little bit of hope

Santi focused

Soft mornings

Benny only

When birds sing

…

The Punisher

Billy Russo

Untitled

…

Mayans MC

Reader,Manny, Angel

If this is our destiny

Will Medina

headcanon 1

Ez Reyes

The Best Gift

Angel Reyes

One more round

…

Vikings

Ubbe

The Chaos of Desire

Ivar x reader , Hvitserk x reader

What do we do with you now

Hvitserk

Le vampire pt 1 of 3

…

Sons of Anarchy

Jax x ofc | omc x ofc (Jon Bernthal)

The longest ride 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

…

Narcos

Javier Peña

Room 322

F reader x Javi x Carrillo

How much longer

…

Pedro Pascal - Characters

Ezra

Queen of poisons update! Ch 7

Marcus Pike

You are my #1

Second chances

Jay Castillo

Dreamland

Nico (house comes with a bird)

A taste of honey preview

Dieter Bravo

Nothing but trouble

Agent Whiskey

The real you

Ezra

Love on the green

Minx

Ofc & minx crew

Wrap party

Peaky Blinders

Tommy

Back to life

Original story - Wisteria & Moonlight - in progress

Original story - Dark Shadows -on hold

Mayans Mc

Moon Knight

Sons of Anarchy

Character - Jay Castillo (see link in section above)

Steven Grant | Moon Knight

Dieter Bravo | preview Nothing but trouble | His muse

Minx hbo - wrap party

Inside Llewyn Davis - 37 letters

WIPs & upcoming updates

Pero Tovar

The terms of enchantment  ( pt 2 update)

Man with the dark eyes

Max Phillips , Eddie, ofc

How to be a vampire (pt 2 update)

KJ (Mayans Mc)

3am

Omar Assarian

When the lights go out

Ofc, Werewolf Ezra

Queen of Poisons

Ben Barnes

Requiem

Ofc, Poe, Mando

Azure

Oc, vikings, tlk

Riders of the Storm

Rogue One

Masterlist

*Tags? No longer curating long lists or forms. I will tag on a wip-by-wip basis. Ask to be tagged or sign up for notifs.*

Are you following something that’s not on the list? Don’t worry, it’s likely on my overall wip list

Masterlist

WIP list | wips spring 2022

[thanksforthedinosaur]

june 2021

1. salem ilese - dinosaurs (s4e7) 2. claire rosinkranz - frankenstein 3. ella jane - bored&blind 4. biig piig - tarzan 5. julia wolf - hydra 6. heather sommer - you heard me 7. zolita - evil angel 8. olivia rodrigo - brutal 9. bella poarch - build a bitch 10. upsahl - douchebag 11. mothica - intuition 12. au/ra - dead girl! (shake my head) 13. slayyyter - over this! 14. poutyface - bored! 15. underscores - your favorite sidekick 16. alys - gamble 17. caroline kole - dui 18. kirsten salty - limbo 19. elio - when u saw love 20. fanclubwallet - what's up 21. squirrel flower - flames and flat tires 22. bachelor - moon 23. kississippi - big dipper 24. lucy dacus - vbs 25. japanese breakfast - savage good boy 26. pronoun - i’m right back in it 27. chloe moriondo - samantha 28. haerts - strange love 29. sweet trip - in sound, we found each other 30. sara kays - backseat rider 31. juliana hatfield - torture 32. dodie - guiltless (bonus) 33. tate mcrae - wish i loved you in the 90s 34. cavetown - ur gonna wish u believed me 35. lula wiles - the way that it is 36. sarah jarosz - mama 37. billie marten - aquarium 38. paula cole - good morning heartache 39. st. vincent - somebody like me 40. sylvan esso - numb - teddy<3 version / edit 41. carmen villain - two halves touching 42. clarice jensen - sleep 43. sachi kobayashi - communication 44. masayoshi fujita - fabric 45. alex lustig - o2 46. green-house - rain 47. brin - we find our center 48. clariloops - morning 49. eydís evensen - dagdraumur 50. elori saxl - wave iii 51. koralle - sweetaly 52. stan forebee - rising sun 53. nitsua. - anything for you 54. little simz - woman 55. enny - peng black girls remix - a colors show 56. ray blk - dark skinned 57. lucy camp - myob 58. qveen herby - juice 59. gavlyn - born with it 60. yung baby tate - facetime 61. dmx - take control 62. xenia rubinos - cógelo suave 63. rayana jay - unfair 64. loony - either side 65. jorja smith - weekend 66. dizzy fae - bend n snap 67. bladee - desiree 68. meltycanon - faith 69. lil nas x - sun goes down 70. audrey nuna - top again 71. bebe rexha - baby, i'm jealous 72. amorphous - back together 73. alaina castillo - pocket locket 74. runn - better - bardz remix 75. amber liu - neon 76. zara larsson - poster girl 77. hooverphonic - lift me up 78. joan - so good 79. meishi smile - saint joan of arc 80. analogue dear - feel the same 81. layne - monday 82. bantug - every sunday 83. millie turner - (breathe) underwater 84. banoffee - tapioca cheeks 85. donatachi - b2b heartbeat 86. tinlicker - lost gravity 87. instupendo - dream drop 88. ford. - 4:38am 89. maddie jay - cr78 90. birdy - celestial dancers 91. l i l a - psycho / / over the moon 92. fickle friends - turns me bad 93. chymes - feel better 94. genes - cherry lips 95. aly & aj - break yourself 96. hurry - it's dangerous 97. slingshot dakota - hold on to why 98. gulfer - look 99. fiddlehead - eternal you 100. poppy - fear of dying 101. mannequin pussy - to lose you 102. dowsing - okay 103. meet me @ the altar - hit like a girl 104. fresh - the summer i got good at guitar 105. homecomings - blanket town blues 106. satomoka - love buds 107. bearwear - madoromi 108. room97 - latte 109. manon - galchan mode 110. bugs - #f6bfbc 111. moe shop - wonder pop 112. サクラsakura-lee - feelings of love 113. toriena - decoy 114. pikasonic - lockdown 115. urbangarde - be your angel 116. hyperlock - lunar lantern 117. aika - lovely scars 118. twice - strawberry moon 119. oh my girl - my doll 120. shinee - superstar 121. cream - lovey dovey 122. kyary pamyu pamyu - gum gum girl 123. whee in - water color 124. heize - the walking dead 125. fox capture plan - constellation 126. 佐々木恵梨 - orchis 127. kotringo - calling

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/344Pvth77ZmkXCY7VLj2E4?si=675ea839758140b0

[theinsiderrp]

LIBERTY AWARDS CEREMONY: FRIDAY

on friday, we’ll be wrapping up the tour with an award ceremony hosted at liberty hall. be sure to attend, come looking your best and get ready for a night of well deserved celebrations! (if i’ve missed anything, it’s probs bc it wasn’t in the tag) 

MUSIC 

BEST SINGLE  baby one more time - addy coleman  drivers lisence - violet carson  come and get it - yasmine hernandez can’t be tamed - salem quinn  kill this love - blackpink  señorita - (g)-idle without me - amelia collins  lie lie lie - roman sloan  la di die - emmett x maeve 

BEST MUSIC VIDEO  deja vu - violet carson  potential break-up song - haley x ally  judas - luna aarons  i knew you were trouble - lottie bradford  kill this love - blackpink  all the good girls go to hell - lily sinclair  WAP - sabrina x mila 

BEST GROUP  blackpink  (g)-idle  straykids  itzy  mcfly  the neighbourhood  pussycat dolls  paramore 

RISING ARTIST nicolai montgomery  pippa carmichael  maeve hamilton whitney cruz  aliyah haven  nicolas castillo 

BEST FEMALE  addy coleman  lottie bradford  lily sinclair  haley cortes-smith  violet carson  mila woods  sabrina wilson  luna aarons 

BEST MALE  avery winslow  roman sloan maverick wilson  noah aarons  BEST LIVE PERFORMANCE honey, honey (mamma mia) - amy sinclair  everything i wanted - amy sinclair  red - lottie bradford  la di die - emmett x maeve  airplanes - amelia x maverick  savage - sabrina wilson  daddy issues - the neighbourhood 

ACTING 

BEST TELEVISION SERIES  high school musical the series enola holmes  she-ra  doctor who  umbrella academy  ginny & georgia  outerbanks 

BEST FILM  emma teen beach movie  me before you  to all the boys i’ve loved before 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR  flynn thompson (euphoria) bianca rosini-harrington (euphoria) kai powell (enola holmes)  lennox quinn (she-ra)  maddie barham (she-ra)

BEST SCREEN STAR (1 female vs 1 male) roman sloan (hsmts)  violet carson (hsmts)  kitty-lee henshaw (euphoria)  maeve hamilton (euphoria)  louisa carmichael (dr who)  august gomez (marcus barker)  phoenix kim (umbrella academy)  freddie eccleston (umbrella academy) sofia higgins (she-ra)  aimee sinclair (tatbilb) 

ARTISTIC VISUALS 

ARTISTIC VISION AWARD  dylan powell victoria carmichael  brie ramsey river henshaw 

BEST ARTISTIC COLLECTION  2 sides, 1 city - dylan powell los angeles art collection - victoria carmichael  stupid fucking bitch - brie ramsy  on tour collection - river henshaw

FASHION 

RISING MODEL ally cortes smith delena dawn  delilah calloway  luna aarons  BEST MODEL AWARD  perrie calloway  harlow carmichael  fleur carmichael  kendra mayfair 

BEST DESIGNER AWARD  callie castillo aurora kingsley  dixie carmichael  fleur carmichael

FUN/PERSONALITY/JOKE AWARDS

HEART-THROB AWARD (female)  daisy romano  grace romano delilah calloway  tilly cruz-mendoza  victoria carmichael  sofia higgins  dapne coleman

HEART-THROB AWARD (male)  jay hamilton lennox quinn  ethan harwood  jihoon kang  kit powell  dawson castillo peter romano 

GHOSTING AWARD nila lin tomos smith dylan powell   odin napier  thea cruz-mendoza  joshua kinglsey  maddie amari-barham  carter romano

CHART TOPPER AWARD - 10 lowest rankers violet  louisa  lottie addy  haley  avery  amelia youngmi  brie  yasmine

CHART TANKER AWARD - 10 highest rankers  aiden peter c sungjin san rowan alana eric carter dominico judah 

ULTIMATES

RISING STAR AWARD 

perrie calloway emmett hamilton  flynn thompson daphne coleman  freddie eccleston  whitney cruz  minhyuck heo  nate harwood 

STAR QUALITY AWARD 

louisa carmichael   addy coleman   avery winslow  roman sloan   aliyah haven   youi moon  elodie gwan fleur carmichael 

[loaddna341]

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Soon El Narco will knock on the door of the presidential palace. By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Refresh and try again. Please try again later. Apr 20, Mario Antonio added it. Josue marked it as jedus Mar 09, Jomaira Bells rated it it was amazing Jan 19, Jorge marked it as to-read Apr 13, Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.

Jesús Blancornelas – Wikipedia

Lorena rated it really liked it Aug 30, The Committee to B,ancornelas Journalists. They Were Giants 1st ed. Jorge marked jessus as to-read Apr 13, Jay Cee rated it it was amazing Aug 30, El cartel libro de carhel blancornelas pdf Un chayotero y corrupto al servicio de el hampa sistemica es lo que blancornlas el hipocrita cxas datasheet pdf chillon jesus blancornelas el cartel el balaceado.

Zeta and Blancornelas are profiled in the Bernardo Ruiz blancornflas Reportero. De hecho, hay veces que el texto se vuelve burdo. Return to Book Page.

Jose Jose Castillo rated it it was amazing Nov 05, Want to Read saving…. Archived from the original on 3 October Amazon Drive Cloud storage from Amazon.

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No trivia or quizzes yet. ComiXology Thousands of Digital Comics.

Archived from the original on August 26, The Blancornelas family erected a huge brick wall in their one-story house to increase their security measures; outside the house, a squadron of military men guarded the family, while some others protected the Zeta offices. After Blancornelas discovered that plainclothes police officers had bought all 20, copies of the issue, Zeta republished the issue under the headline “Censored! Download oppo sound cards & media devices driver. Inafter daring to first jesus blancornelas el cartel the photograph of drug lord Ramon Arellano Felix, Blancornelas escaped an assassination attempt by cartel gunmen that left four bullets in his body.

In the s, Blancornelas wanted to remove bylines from Zeta ‘ s most dangerous stories, but was persuaded not to by reporter Francisco Ortizwho wished his to continue to run atop his stories on organized crime. Silicon image scsi & raid devices driver download for windows 10.

El Periodista “The Journalist”a corrido ballad in memory of Blancornelas, was written by members of the band Los Tucanes de Tijuana. Archived from the original on August 11, Committee to Protect Journalists. Blncornelas rated it liked it Oct 27, Felipe Landeros rated it it was amazing Jul 27, Blanvornelas Alvarado Leyton Jesus blancornelas el cartel weergave — Blancornelae se hunde en un silencio y sus pupilas se humedecen. Blueagave67 rated it really liked it Jan 25, Descargar libro cartel jesus blancornelas.

But now it has grown across the whole of the Mexican republic.

CARTEL, EL by Jesus Blancornelas

Semcreserved driver download for windows 10. Melesio rated it really liked it Apr 16, Thanks libro el cartel jesus blancornelas telling us about the problem. Anyone interested in the libr of 20th century Mexico. InZeta published an investigation on the assassination of Luis Donaldo Colosio ; despite the conspiracy theories about the case, the magazine concluded that the shooting had been the work of a single troubled individual.

Amazon Second Chance Pass it on, trade it in, give it a second life. Eduardo Aguilar rated it did not like it Dec 09, Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. Jesus blancornelas el cartel he said in an interview shortly before dying:. As he said in an interview shortly before dying:.

JESUS BLANCORNELAS EL CARTEL EBOOK

El Cartel de los Sapos Spanish Edition. Withoutabox Submit to Film Festivals. Latin Politics, Global Media 1st ed. English Choose a language for shopping.

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As he got to his home, a crowd of reports awaited Blancornelas, who allowed them to take pictures of him but refused to answer any questions. I’d like to read this book on Kindle Don’t have a Kindle? In response to the photo publication, the cartel attempted to kill Blancornelas inbut he managed to survive the attack and continued to report on the workings of Mexico’s criminal underworld.

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[pintsizemama]

WIP List

In Progress

Long Series

Javier Peña x OFC

Din Djarin x Bounty OFC

Dave York x Nanny OFC

Frankie Morales x Delta Force OFC

Oberyn Martell x Baratheon/Lannister OFC

Omar Assarian x OFC

Marcus Pike x OFC Criminal Minds Crossover

Agent Whiskey x Kingsman Agent OFC

Din Djarin x OFC- Biker AU

Javier Peña x OFC- Narco!Javi AU

Din Djarin x OFC- Mobster Hitman/Bodyguard AU

Mini Series

Jay Castillo x OFC- best friends to lovers

Max Phillips x OFC

Marcus Moreno x OFC- A/B/O AU

One Shot

Omar Assarian x OFC Sex Pollen

Oberyn Martell x Baratheon/Lannister OFC- Public Sex

Planning Stage

Long Series

Pero Tovar x Mercenary OFC

Maxwell Lord x Secretary OFC

Mini Series

Agent Whiskey x Midsize F!Reader

Nathan Landry x Stripper OFC

Frankie Morales x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller x Will Miller x Delta Force OFC Polyamorous Fic

Zach Wellison x OFC

Veracruz x OFC Undercover AU

Maxwell Lord Sugar Daddy Fic

Javier Peña Sugar Daddy Fic

One Shot

Javier Peña x Reader Angst (Inspired by Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi)

Ideas to plan

Long Series

Oberyn Martell Modern AU

Din Djarin Western AU

Agent Whiskey Futuristic AU

Pero Tovar Time Travel AU

Mini Series

Din Djarin x Boba Fett x Paz Vizsla x Bounty OFC

One Shot

Agent Whiskey x Reader Angst (dead wife angst)

[something-tofightfor]

WIP POLL

Rules: Make a 24hr poll listing the titles of every WIP you want to work on. (It’s fine if you only have one, still make a poll for the vote count). Whichever WIP title gets the most votes, write 1 sentence for every vote received.

Both @valkblue and @the-blind-assassin-12 tagged me in this ... thank you for thinking of me. If you see this and want to see what people think you should work on ... feel free to play along!

[tvmoviechristmas]

Christmas Dilemma (TV One, 2020)

I’m gonna sleep with my Mommy and my Daddy who think I’m a superhero!

Starring: BJ Britt, Brittany S. Hall, Rafael Castillo, Carl Anthony Payne II

Plot Synopsis: Newlywed couple Jay and Monica struggle to decide which set of in-laws they should join for their first Christmas. They eventually decide against picking one family over the other. Little do they know, their decision is made for them when their families show up unannounced. Drama unfolds as their in-laws' clash, long-lost relatives decide to make an appearance, and Jay's grandmother joins the holiday festivities accompanied by her caretaker, who just happens to be Jay's gorgeous ex-girlfriend. (x)

In My Humble Opinion: I watched Christmas Dilemma exactly how Christopher Nolan would have wanted me to: at 5 AM on the TV One app. I had to exit out of the movie whenever I wanted to take notes on it, and the app doesn’t have a “Continue Watching” feature so whenever I wanted to get back to the movie, I had to do my best to scroll to the spot where I last was which the app made incredibly hard to accomplish. Christmas Dilemma made me work for my viewing experience. There was blood, there was sweat, there were tears.

Was it worth it? Not really.

Christmas Dilemma is an entry to the popular genre of “the family has come for Christmas and nothing can go right!” It’s a set-up that usually allows for a series of comic hi-jinks that ends with a good talking to and a hug. There are two problems that Christmas Dilemma has that stops this premise from working.

The most vital is that the movie never takes the time to invest you in the central couple’s relationship. For about twenty minutes before their families unexpectedly arrive, the movie is concerned with showing you the couple fighting about where they want to spend their holidays. It’s a series of arguments that are not as funny or charming as the film seems to believe. When the argument finally gets suddenly dropped, it feels like a swerve. We started with one movie about a couple who needs to work on their internal issues, and now all the issues are external. 

The external problems don’t make the central couple more relatable though. Mainly because the biggest problem seems to be the husband’s ex-girlfriend, who is there as his grandmother’s caretaker. She seems to enter every scene with an extended slow-motion sequence and seems to exist only to make the current wife jealous. She gets more jealous and more jealous and more jealous, and when you think that this is going to build somewhere where the wife looks petty and rude and a sincere conversation is going to be had, the movie swerves again. The wife isn’t worried about this ex-girlfriend, she’s actually worried about how their families don’t get along! It was like the writers knew they were entering a moment where the wife was going to go too far to fix this relationship believably in ten minutes time, so they just reversed out of there with a speed that was ultimately dizzying.

The moments where the chemistry of the central couple gets to shine through are so few and far between that you wonder why you want them to stay together. They are randomly fighting about one thing at the beginning of the film, and the movie keeps swerving to new arguments continually as the film goes on. A couple of arguments less, and a few more united front scenes more would have done a world of wonders.

The second more major problem is that the descending family members just aren’t funny. Christmas Dilemma wants you to believe that this Christmas is unbearably chaotic. However, the setpieces never feel excructiating to sit through. Worse, they aren’t funny. Instead, the chaos is limited to giving each character about one scene apiece where they act wacky in a certain way. So Cousin Eddie comes in randomly, his bit is that he is over-friendly, has a random Asian girlfriend and nobody knows him. Grammy has lots of sex tips because nothing is wackier than an old woman who talks about sex. The Reverend character likes to ask for money when he leads prayers. The characters never get to be deeper than gags but the gags they get to be aren’t interesting in and of itself.

Christmas Dilemma feels like a missed opportunity. There’s just a few tweaks that could have been made (changing the warring couple intro, tightening the gags) that would have made all the difference in making the movie more enjoyable. 

However, not all of the problems I had with the movie are it’s fault -- if the TV One app had a “Continue Watching” feature maybe my blood pressure would have lowered, and I would have been less nitpicky. Maybe this is why Christopher Nolan is so against watching movies on your phones.

Watch If: You get really excited about wearing fur, if you can tell who your relatives are by the size of their nostrils or if you love your grandchildren, but you need some milk.

Skip If: You are a woman who does not want to see Hamilton (starring Beyonce, Method Man and Adele!), if you will touch a man’s belly or if you plan to die on Hannukah.

Final Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

If you like this blog, please consider donating to my Kofi page! You can also donate money to kbange@gmail.com through either Venmo or CashApp. Thank you!

[artemiseamoon]

Dreamland

Married! Jay Castillo x f reader ( fluffy drabble)

New Pedro character alert! This came out of no where

⚠️warnings: family drama

For week 2 of @writer-wednesday

Your wedding day was beautiful, perfect really; including the hiccups and minor imperfections. It was a fairly tale that still bought a smile to your face 93 days later.

What you didn’t know at the time was how crazy life would get. Jay was a dream, everything you wanted and more. But your family, that was the issue.

Everyone has family drama but yours seemed hell bent on taking the top stop. The drama was at its highest point and as usual, you were at in the middle. Playing mediator.

You tried to stay strong, to deny how much all this was effecting you. When in reality you were falling apart, held together by string. Despite your poker face, Jay could see just how close you were to cracking.

Jay asked you to clear your schedule for a week. He wouldn’t tell you why, or where you were going. The mystery of it all kept you wondering what exactly he had up his sleeve.

The moment you arrived at the quaint mountain town, everything made sense. Even on the drive up, you could feel the stress lift from your body. Every little thing that kept you up at night or made you anxious to answer your phone was now one plane ride and a 45 minute drive away.

Your rental was a small pale blue house, two stories high and placed between two larger houses. The second floor had a beautiful balcony.

Upon entering, the place takes your breath away. Warm colors, fine furniture, a brick fireplace. It was right out of a novel.

“I’ll get the fire going, “ Jay stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your body and gently kissing the side of your face, “you think this is nice? Check upstairs.”

Glancing over your shoulder, you flash your charming husband a smile. He kisses your cheek once more before heading to the fireplace. Warmth blossoms in your chest, a smile glued to your lips.

You make your way upstairs and quickly find Jay was right. The master bedroom looks like something from your pintrest and when you test the mattress, it’s the perfect mix of soft and firm.

Jay handpicked this place for you, down to the tiniest detail. Love and adoration vibrate through your body as you rush back down the stairs.

You find Jay in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine, he winks and takes out two glasses. Needing to be closer to you, Jay leaves the glasses, humming your tune as he draws you into his arms. Holding on to eachother, you sway in unison, singing your wedding song.

“Mi amor, mi vida, “he cups the side of your face, his other hand on your lower your back, “ I hope you’re ready for 7 whole day of winter paradise.”

You gaze into his eyes lovingly, your hips swaying together, “you know it handsome.”

Jay rests his forehead against yours as you dance. Letting your eyes close, you savor the moment, and listen to him singing the lyrics.

“I love you Jay.” You move your hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks.

“Te amo, mi amor.” He sings.

Jay’s lips meet yours in a sweet and gentle kiss.

More of my WW fics

[the-blind-assassin-12]

writer wednesday #6 - 2/23/22

Happy Wednesday, friends! I hope you’re all having a good week so far & that the universe is being kind to you- and if it isn’t, tell it to change it’s stank attitude because you deserve better. Time for another (not at all weekly because i suck at schedules) edition of Three Great Things. No theme this week aside from the fact that I read them and then took a few minutes to revel in their greatness. 

*as always, these are listed in length order* 

Not an Act by @radiowallet​

Ezra x GN Reader 

WC - 716 

This was a lovely, poetic read. I could feel myself falling in love with this fringeling rabble-rouser all over again. The imagery is vivid and beautiful. The emotion is palpable. I could feel the difference between the cool sheets and the warm bed, and I could hear Ezra grumbling in the kitchen (what a flipping DREAM!) This absolutely skirts the smutty line without actually being smut, and I love that...so much.  If you haven’t read this yet and you’ve got a few minutes, please indulge. You won’t be sorry that you did. 

I never want to hear you say that again by @ahsokalives

Javi  Peña x Female Reader

WC -  1,262

Okay first I want to start out by saying that when I think of gentle, affectionate or emotional characters, Javier Peña is not who I think of first. But caring, concerned and secretly kind characters? Yeah, he is near the top of that list of traits, and in this piece those aspects of his are on FULL display. He is not the type of person to sugarcoat things or tell you that everything is alright when he knows damn well that things are a mess. But he is also not the type of person to let a defeat of any sort deter him from doing what is right- and in this case, that means checking on Reader and not allowing her to bury herself in guilt and anger. I love that you let her be mad and upset, though, and that you let her lash out a little at him. I love that you let her feel her emotions and push back a little at first because this is not normal behavior coming from him (in terms of their history) but it’s both what she wants and needs...and he needs to be there for her (and with her) just as much. I flipping loved every second of this. Do I want happier times for these two? Of course I do. But life (and their lives especially due to their line of work) is FULL of ups and downs, and if this is going to be how they handle the downs? Then I think they’re going to be just fine. 

Nightingale Part 4 by @something-tofightfor

Jay Castillo x Female Reader 

WC - 6,096 

Listen if you’re not already reading Nightingale you are missing out. Change that, like now. Click the link up there. JUST DO IT. I am SO invested in this series and in these characters, and it’s because they are genuine and real. This is not a hurry up let’s hop into bed story. But it’s not technically a slow burn either because there are more things to consider here than just mutual attraction and desire. And even though the attraction and desire are definitely there on both sides of this equation, both Jay and Reader are being as careful as can be with how they approach things- because they’re good people (more on that in a second) but also because they actually truly like one another and the interactions that they’ve had have been honest and if there is something significant on the horizon for their relationship, they don’t want it to have been built on a shaky pier. Back to them both being good people- Jay’s interaction with Natalie and Reader’s interaction with Kenzie are perfect examples. I’m glad that she has a friend who wants the best for her but isn’t afraid to be real with her about things. And I am obsessed with what a good uncle this man is. Here he is getting some... unsavory news, but his immediate concern is that she’s okay. My heart is open wide for him and he can tattoo his name there if he would like. (mine, not Reader’s. they are not there yet.) And the end? The anticipation? DAMN i am stoked for the next part!!  

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Artists Sift Through Archives for Memories of Miami

MemoryLab installation view (all photos by Barron Sherer unless otherwise noted; all work sources courtesy the Lynn and Louis Wolfson II Florida Moving Image Archives at Miami Dade College, HistoryMiami Museum, South Florida)

Juan Maristany’s “Untitled,” a two-channel video installation of archived home videos, is currently projected across a 32-foot-long wall on the second floor of the HistoryMiami Museum. The wall is curved, bending to match the gaze of the eye and the flow of a walk around its length. “Untitled” is part of MemoryLab, an exhibition curated by Kevin Arrow and Barron Sherer of Obsolete Media Miami. The 16 featured artists/collectives (all of whom have ties to Miami, but currently live scattered throughout the country) were invited to explore the archives of both HistoryMiami — dating back 10,000 years — and the Lynn and Louis Wolfson II Florida Moving Image Archives. The artists searched through home videos, letters, documents, and images, finding physical ephemera and strange histories with which to create new work.

Each of Maristany’s found images or looped clips is visible only long enough to briefly imprint themselves the brain; then, they fade, dissipating into ocean waves or smooth blackness. In one shot, there’s an unmoving pistachio-colored house, single-storied, low-roofed, and blanketed with palms. It’s unclear when the video was taken, but it’s a familiar, timeless scene to anyone who’s grown up in South Florida: the intrinsically cozy quality of a subtropical landscape, homes ostensibly protected by the dense flora surrounding them.

Juan Maristany, “Untitled” (2017), two-channel video installation / projection mapped, 20 x 32 feet

What does memory look like? Don Arnold and Richard Roberts, two researchers at the University of Southern California, engineered small probes to light up the synapses of a living neuron in real time. They discovered that when new memories are formed, the synapses that appear as bright spots along the neuron’s branches (dendrites) change shape. Memory, then, looks like literal shifting patches of light, given the right conditions. And what of Florida’s memory? Does it, too, look like scattered patches of light?

Miami’s reputation — a long history of not caring much for its history — is unfair; consider efforts like the Florida Memory Project, or Obsolete Media Miami itself. The entirety of Florida has a complicated history, of diaspora and weird ecologies and “only in Florida” tales, and the future of South Florida specifically is equally complex, threatened with sea-level rise and the questionable ethics of its cities’ council members. All histories are multifaceted, contingent on who’s telling it, and that’s maddeningly clear here. In their examination of Miami’s history, the artists in MemoryLab are essentially communicating the city’s present and future, because life is too cyclical to keep it all separated.

Julie Kahn, “DEPOST (trading post)” (2017), Spanish-American war Cigarette trading cards, artist trading cards, Seminole trade objects, trade objects from Havana Biennial & Art Basel Miami Beach, audio, video, dimensions variable

Glowing like a bright synapse at the exhibition’s entrance is an installation by Domingo Castillo, who placed on a wall several maquettes depicting various developments throughout Miami. In the wall’s center are four videos displaying, in juxtaposition, the policing of Miami’s neighborhoods and Getty images of plastered shots of high-rises and birds soaring over an Atlantic Ocean intended for the rich. The piece has an accompanying reader titled “Yesterdays, Tomorrow, Today,” a 245-page document including the W.A.G.E. manifesto and essays like Paul S. George’s “Policing Miami’s Black Community” and Raymond A. Mohl’s “The Interstates and the Cities: Highways, Housing, and the Freeway Revolt.” Mohl writes, “In Miami, Florida, state highway planners and local officials deliberately routed Interstate-95 directly through the inner-city black community of Overtown…Even before the expressway was built…some in Miami’s white and black press asked: ‘What about the Negroes uprooted by the Expressway?’” Even without the dense reader — which you must ask for at the museum’s front desk — the dichotomy of the images provides enough unsettling context.

Racial exclusion and xenophobia are examined in “Passing Through,” an interactive piece by Elia Khalaf, who sourced home videos of a Cuban family in exile, letters from a mother to her immigrant child, and photographs of a tourist in Lebanon (Khalaf is Lebanese). These are placed along a wall designed to look like a television. The opposite side is grid-patterned, with each square left blank for museum visitors to write their own notes, working in collaboration with Khalaf to piece together a fragmented history. “We built Miami,” says one; “we were all immigrants once,” reads another. Khalaf’s accompanying text for the piece reads: “In fear of conflict between Christians and Muslims, the end of the Lebanese Civil War resulted in government-mandated censorship barring any mention of the atrocities that occurred within the country between 1970 and 1991. This state of forced amnesia leaves the writing of history to me.” All of us with diaspora in our blood understand what it means to occupy this space, of reimagining your own history, of writing yourself into a narrative that sometimes excludes you.

Elia Khalaf, “Passing Through” (2017), digital illustration, film, photography, 8 x 9 feet

In “Untitled (We will settle for a place among the pines and the palms; a city without walls),” Adler Guerrier touches on the idea of diaspora too, his images (both color and scanned black-and-white) of Florida’s plant life acting as backdrop to a small TV showcasing found footage. They’re mostly news reels from 1980 to 1984, showcasing local Floridian reactions to Cuban and Haitian immigrants — one segment features a doctor explaining that, despite a pervasive fear of Haitian refugees bringing AIDS to the US, it is not logical to designate a group of people as being a carrier of disease; another section discusses, pejoratively, the Miami-Dade public school system’s leniency in allowing teens who “can’t speak English” to graduate. But Guerrier, who was born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, tells me he does not want to simply highlight the negative backlash with this work, which is also about “the magnetism Miami had to waves of refugees. These Haitians and Cubans, they knew, ‘This is a place we want to be.’”

Shahreyar Ataie, “Lipstick Aviators” (2017), mixed media, dimensions variable

The duo Archival Feedback (T. Wheeler Castillo and Emile Milgrim) captures this magnetism by exploring the peculiar aural landscape of Florida via fieldwork and research. Their three “Audiographs,” displayed in a vitrine with headphones for listening, are made of polycarbonate, a material resistant to humidity. “Star Factory” draws upon sounds from the Miami Museum of Science and Space Transit Planetarium, whereas “Sounding the Bay” traces Biscayne Bay through hydrophone recordings — you can hear the gurgling of fish and the sound of cars driving above — and, most fascinatingly, there is “Greater Miami 1934,” which translates an old map into electronic sounds — the map is played like music.

Alliance of the Southern Triangle A.S.T. (Diann Bauer, Felice Grodin, Patricia Margarita Hernandez and Elite Kedan), “Landscape (Test Patterns for Future Positions)” (2017), video projection and monitor installation; three-channel video (color, sound), MDF set

Willie Avendano’s Invitation Suites, two sets of videos comprised of dreamy archival footage — a baby’s birthday party, a carnival ride — use data sequencing to repeat and dissolve the images over and over, mimicking the way memories feel inherently chaotic. (Full disclosure: Avendano is a friend.) Only real memory recall is more faulty. MemoryLab restrings memories like Christmas lights and data, and we begin to process them like dreams. These realities are composites of so many others, and as such do not really exist, yet we feel, hear, and experience them.

In fact, some of the works seem premonitory, and if so, they might come to fruition and imprint themselves on our memories in a much more deliberate way. In “Landscape (Test Patterns for Future Positions),” a video by the Alliance of the Southern Triangle (Diann Bauer, Felice Grodin, Patricia Margarita Hernandez, and Elite Kedan), weather maps and hurricane-tracking agents become a composite model of everything we can only try to understand about climate change, or weather in general. Foretelling sea-level rise or a hurricane’s power are ultimately abstractions, not yet added to our history, though their exigencies feel real enough to reach.

Jamilah Sabur, “A point at zenith: Become a body with organs and smell the flowers” (2017), three-channel video with hyper-directional sound, dimensions variable

Jamilah Sabur’s installation, “A point at zenith: Become a body with organs and smell the Flowers,” was the last one I explored, and the only one in which I was able to experience in utmost silence. One enters into a room fully projected with a green grid, watching a video in which Sabur is dressed as a jockey wearing a gas mask, trapped in a jai alai court on an upper floor of an abandoned building. This building, explains the piece’s accompanying text, stands at the corner of NE 2nd Ave and 50th St in Little Haiti: a current point of contention due to its impending, expensive development. Here, we have both the fate of a problematic situation and a reference to something that feels decisively Floridian (jai alai originated in Basque, but remains popular in South Florida), a fictional character stuck between the two. As Sabur explained to me, “I imagine that the building is surrounded by toxic air.” This is possible, maybe probable, but we try to reimagine a better outcome for Florida, over and over and over.

MemoryLab continues at the HistoryMiami Museum (101 W Flagler St, Miami) through April 16.

The post Artists Sift Through Archives for Memories of Miami appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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[something-tofightfor]

Nightingale - Part 1

Pairing: Jay Castillo x Female Reader (Eventually.)

Word Count: 3,465

Rating: M? There’s some language, I go into detail about the process of tattooing, vague allusions to the world of Russian organized crime (but that’s what the show was about, soooo), mention of blood and pain, needles ... this is just a setup chapter so it’s very tame. 

Summary: When the artist you’ve booked your first tattoo appointment with has to cancel last minute, you’re presented with a possible solution: using another artist in the same shop - Jay Castillo. 

Author’s note:

I am fucking trash for this man’s characters - even all 5:43 of his screen time in this dumpsterfire trainwreck of a show. Why they felt it necessary to INCLUDE the fact that this man is a tattoo artist on the Wiki but then never talk about it on camera is beyond me, but now I’m making it everyone’s problem, too.

I don’t know how long this is going to be (I’m in the middle of writing the 3rd part right now) ... but it is what it is. I’m using my general Pedro taglist for this but if you would like to be left off, please feel free to let me know. 

Has anyone ever written for this character? I don’t know. There are 5 stories on AO3 and none of them are about Jay. This is unknown territory. Welcome to the adventure. 

Some bookkeping: The show takes place in San Francisco, so this does too. Canon story elements are intact here: Jay is engaged, his future wife’s family is involved with shady dealings and has been, though she tells him nothing specific. Jay is a tattoo artist/artist in general, and that’s how he makes his living. Going based on the year that this show came out, I HC that Jay is in his early-mid 30′s. 

When the phone rang, you weren’t expecting it. To be more accurate, you almost missed the call, since you had the device on silent. But when you saw the name on the screen - Hanna (Inkwell) - you grabbed for it, finger swiping up to answer. “Hello?” 

The woman on the other end greeted you by name, though you heard something in her tone that had you sitting up straighter in your chair. “Hey, I just wanted to give you a call about tomorrow.” The woman paused and you narrowed your eyes as you listened, waiting. You’d already confirmed the appointment - one you’d made weeks earlier, after making the drive to the shop to speak to Hanna in person and give her the materials she needed to draw up a design for you. “I know it’s short notice, but I had a family thing come up, and I’ve gotta head to Reno in the morning to see my mom.”

Barely holding back a frustrated sigh, you closed your eyes. It didn’t sound like an excuse, but the appointment was one that you were looking forward to, and if the woman was going to be gone, that meant rescheduling. “Is everything alright?” Somehow, you managed to get the decent question out first, biting your tongue before you said anything else. 

“I hope it will be.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t usually cancel on clients, but the trip honestly can’t wait, so if you want your deposit back, I can make that happen. You can also hang tight until I know when I’m going to be back, and then we can reschedule.” No, I don’t … I don’t want to wait. “Or…” The woman trailed off, and you heard laughter from her end of the line - obviously the sound of other people in the shop. “There’s another artist here, and he’s got an opening in the same slot you were supposed to come in tomorrow. I already mentioned it to him, and he said that he’s willing to do your tattoo.” 

That’s an option? Tilting your head to one side to hold the phone between your ear and shoulder, you used both hands to bring the shop’s web page up on your computer. “What’s his name? Does he have a portfolio on the site? That’s how I found you.” 

“Yeah, I was just going to tell you that. His name’s Jay.” A few seconds later, you were clicking on the man’s name from the dropdown menu, a new page opening that was filled with examples of his work. “He’s usually booked out a while in advance, but he actually had a couple cancellations last week and was able to move things around. His last session ends …” You heard her clicking her tongue on the other end of the line, and then a moment later she continued. “About 45 minutes before you were supposed to come in, and then he’s done for the day.” 

You liked the man’s work. The examples you were scrolling through included both simple and intricate designs in an array of colors - and there was very little difference in the quality of the work shown from that of the woman you were speaking to. “I really don’t want to put it off.” You let out a breath, trying to keep it quiet while you stared at the screen, an image of a large floral piece covering the entirety of a woman’s forearm visible. “If you think he’s a good choice, then yeah, we can… I’ll switch.” 

“He is. He’ll take good care of you.” The woman confirmed the appointment again reminding you that you needed to eat something before you came in and that you needed to be sure what you wore would allow you to be comfortable during the session. I forgot about that. After she apologized profusely again for the last minute change, she sighed. “I was really looking forward to doing this one for you. I know what it means.” 

“It’s alright.” Leaning back, your eyes moved from the computer to the window of your office, watching as one of your coworkers headed toward the door. “Things happen. And like you said, Jay’s gonna do it, and he’ll be -” “You’ll love it.” She laughed, clearing her throat. “He’s done a lot of first tattoos for clients, so you’ll be in good hands.” I hope so. 

A few seconds later, you hung up the phone, setting it back down onto your desk and then closing out of the website. Back to work. Now’s not the time to overthink it. 

But even though you tried to focus on your work and the late day meeting with two of your colleagues, you found yourself thinking ahead to the coming appointment - and what it would be like to get tattooed by someone you’d never even met before. 

— 

He was leaning against the wall of his booth, joking with the man and client next to him when you walked in the following day. At the sound of the bell above the door, Jay looked up, meeting your eyes for the first time. Gotta be her. Nodding his head at you, he looked down and laughed, pushing away from the divider and tapping on it with the center of his palm. “At least you’ve only got a couple more hours of Monte digging into your knee, man.” 

The client groaned, reaching up to cover his face with one hand, and Monte - the other artist - lifted the hand not holding the tattoo machine to raise his middle finger. Typical. The shop wasn’t huge, so it didn’t take him long to make his way to you, one brow raised as he said your name, the end of it hanging in the air like a question. “That’s me. And that means that you must be Jay.” 

You looked nervous, but didn’t sound it, and after the confirmation, he reached behind the counter, pulling out a clipboard with a short stack of papers already attached. “Need you to fill these out. It’s just basic information, a couple questions about your overall health and how you’ve been feeling, and a liability waiver.” Sliding the whole thing over to you, he reached down again, fingers closing around a pen. “You can leave the description of the tattoo blank. I’ll fill that in for you, but there’s a couple things we need to talk about before I do.” At that, you glanced up and he noticed that you were chewing on one corner of your lip. “Start on that. I’ll be right back.” 

Giving him a single nod, you took the clipboard in both hands and moved over to one of the empty chairs in the lobby, Jay waiting until you took a seat to turn and head back to his booth. You weren’t what he’d expected when Hanna had given him the opportunity to take over the appointment, but he didn’t know whether or not that was a good thing. Not yet. Won’t know that until I get her in the chair. He grabbed two sheets of paper and then headed back for you, easing down into the seat on the other side of the table you were sitting next to. You were almost done with the forms, the man watching silently as you tapped the pen against the paper while you read, followed by swiftly going down the line and checking ‘no’ to all of the relevant medical questions, scribbling your initials repeatedly. “I’m done, I think.” 

When you lifted your gaze to meet his, he nodded, holding up one of the sheets of paper and wetting his lips. “Hanna left the drawing she did for you, the one you approved?” You nodded, eyes flicking over to the paper and then back to his face. “I can do that tattoo, no problem. But I also drew this up yesterday for you to take a look at.” Reaching toward you with both sheets, he handed them over and watched as you held them side by side, eyes first on one and then the other. “It’s similar, but I changed the position a little - kind of like it’s settling in on a branch instead of just standing there on top of nothing?” 

Jay watched as you set Hanna’s drawing down, pulling his closer to your face and narrowing your eyes just slightly. “It’s so much more detailed. The feathers, they…” When Hanna had told him the situation - that you were a first time client, that you wanted a memorial tattoo, that you were undecided about the positioning - he’d considered telling the woman no, additional honeymoon fund be damned because he didn’t want to deal with any of it. But after he’d seen the woman’s initial drawing and read the notes you’d left with her, the man’s mind had been made up. “You can really make it look like this on me?” 

“I can.” He leaned closer, one finger extending to trace along the underside of one wing and then up toward the beak. “And I know you said that you wanted to keep it black and gray, but I had another idea about that - if you’re interested.” 

“I don’t know … tattoo etiquette.” You shrugged, letting out a long breath. “Will Hanna be upset if -” “No. She saw the one I did before she left last night, and liked it. We’ve got a pretty different art style, so I just wanted you to have a second option.” There was no point in going into detail with you about how he preferred to ink his own work onto people’s skin; the bottom line was that he wanted to give you the design you wanted - and while Hanna’s was good, in his opinion, there’d been something missing. 

“You opened her mouth a little more, too.” Tapping on the paper, he watched as your lips curved up into a thoughtful smile. “Like she’s singing.” 

“Yeah, I…” Pulling his hand away from the paper, he scratched the side of his head, shrugging. “It just made sense.” 

“I want your design, Jay.” You met his eyes again and there was no sign of nerves in them, resolve strong on your face. “It feels more like … more like I imagined it. If I hadn’t seen it, the other one would have been perfect, but now that I have, I -” “Good.” He nodded at you, grinning back. “I’m glad to hear that.” Your smile didn’t falter and neither did your gaze, but the man looked away first, his eyes moving down and to your shoulders, which were both bared in the strapless dress you wore. “The other thing … where’s it going? Hanna said -” “I’m not sure.” Pressing your lips together you reached up to tap your right arm. “I know it’s going on this side, but I can’t decide between the back of my shoulder or the inside of my arm.” 

“What position do you sleep in?” He reached out, touching your shoulder and urging you to twist in the chair, showing him your skin. “If you sleep on your back, it can be kind of hard to switch while it’s healing, but it’s easy to prop your arm up on a couple pillows for a few days.” She’s got nice skin. It was a habit - one that he hadn’t broken even after meeting Kat - and though it was part of the job, Jay always felt some guilt when he was assessing a new client’s skin. Especially when they’re attractive like she is.

Tattooing attractive people was part of the job, too. He never crossed the line, and while he knew that he came off somewhat flirty, Jay was always careful to keep appointments professional, doing only what was necessary to put clients at ease - and in some cases, get a larger tip. “On my back.” You rotated your arm, looking down at your bicep. “But I’ve heard that the inside of the arm is really -” “It can be.” He ran his fingers over the smooth skin of your inner arm, eyes on what he was doing. “It’ll swell a lot more if you put it up here, and if your weight changes a lot, it might end up looking a little different, but …” He said your name again. “It’s going to come down to whether or not you want to actually be able to see it, or -” “Yeah. I want to be able to see it.” The decisiveness was back, your tone sure. “I want it on the inside of my arm.” He pulled his hand away, reaching for the drawing and holding it up next to your arm, thinking. 

“You know what? If we put it there, it’ll look more natural. I’m going to have to change the shape of the branch a little bit, but it won’t just look like it’s floating on your skin.” You didn’t say anything else, and so he nodded to himself, setting the paper down on top of Hanna’s and reaching for the clipboard. “I’ll finish filling this out, and then I need to make a copy of your driver’s license or ID, and we’ll head back to my booth.” 

By the time he’d finished, you were both on your feet, one of your hands digging through your purse for your wallet. 

— 

Twenty minutes later, you were standing in front of the mirror in his booth, one arm held out from your body. He stood behind you, focused on the mirror and the placement of the design, one hand on your shoulder. “Relax. Try to stand like you normally would., but turn your arm enough to -” You did as he asked, rotating your arm so that your palm faced out and exposed more of the design, though it was hanging straight down by your side. “See, the branch looks like it’s sort of rooted to the inside of your arm, and -” “It looks great.” You were grinning again, taking a step closer to the wall and tilting your head down. “You’re really good at this.” He laughed, glancing over at Monte’s booth as the man’s client groaned loudly, and then back at you, wrinkling his nose and frowning. 

“It’s just a stencil. We’ll wait and see how many compliments you give me once I’m using the machine on your arm.” You let out a slow breath and Jay stepped back, gesturing toward the other side of the shop. “I’m gonna get set up. If you need to use the bathroom or get something to drink before we start, both are back that way. There’s a cooler with some stuff in it.” 

Thanking him, you headed off, the bathroom door closing behind you. Jay moved on autopilot - opening drawers and pulling out needles and other equipment before setting things down onto the tabletop like he’d done hundreds of times before. There was nothing truly complicated about the tattoo he was doing for you - black and gray ink, soft shading, defined lines that were thin enough to look smooth and natural. The most difficult part would be whether or not you could sit still for the duration of the session - and the man thought you would. “She the first timer?” Monte peeked over the wall, rolling his neck out and lifting both arms over his head to stretch them. “That’s a bad spot, man.” Tapping his toe against the pedal for the tattoo machine, Jay held it up, making sure that everything was properly aligned and secured. Ready to go. 

Removing his gloves and tossing them into the trash, he cleared his throat. “She’ll be fine.” With a single nod, he ran a hand through his hair, glancing down at the table and assuring that he’d prepped everything. Ink. Vaseline. Paper towels. Green soap. Extra gloves. Shading needles. Rolling the stool toward the supply table, he propped the sketch up against the front of one of the tabletop cabinets for reference, and then moved back into his former position, beginning the process of sanitizing the small armrest so that he could cover it before you got into position. He was interrupted when you stepped back in a few seconds later, clearing your throat. “All set?” You nodded and he gestured for the chair, jutting his chin out. “Get comfortable, I’ll be back.” 

He took his turn in the bathroom, checking his phone to see if Kat had messaged him, and was unsurprised to see that she hadn’t. She knows I have an appointment, so it makes sense… but still. Chalking it up to the woman likely working on last minute wedding details with her sister, the man exited  the small room, heading back to where you were sitting on the chair. You looked relaxed, your legs crossed at the ankle. “Just tell me what I need to do, and I -” 

He heard it for the first time then - the tiny tremor in your voice that matched the same one that so many other clients had;  the anticipation growing as the actual tattoo time drew closer. But apart from that, you looked calm - and still collected, which was encouraging. Here we go. Rather than go into the usual routine, Jay decided to try something new, once again running his hands under the water in the booth’s sink, washing them in front of you even though they were already clean. “I’m gonna lower the back of the chair, but I promise shaving your arm before I put the stencil on was the weirdest thing I’ll have to do to you tonight.” You laughed at that, even as he dropped onto the stool next to your chair, reaching over to adjust the back. 

Instead of staring at him like so many chose to do as you laid down, you eyed the ceiling, your left arm bent so that your hand rested on your stomach. That’s interesting. Without speaking, he reached for your right wrist, lifting it and using one foot to slide the small stand beneath it before letting go, hand twisting your arm into position so that the stencil was visible. This might not work. “What’s wrong?” 

You’d turned your head to the side to look at him, brows knit together in worry. “I can’t get close enough unless…” Sliding his hand beneath your arm again, Jay turned the armrest so it ran parallel to the chair you were in, pushing it all the way up against the side of it before scooting closer. It meant that more of your arm was unsupported by the cushioned stand, but without pause, he continued to guide it so that the back of your hand - and your knuckles - were resting against the top of one of his thighs. “Is that good for you?” He cocked his head to one side, waiting. 

“Yeah. Is it … Will that be comfortable for you though?” Your fingers flexed slightly as you spoke, and even though he wanted to look, Jay didn’t, instead giving you a quick nod. 

He didn’t speak. Instead, the man reached for a new set of gloves, pulling them on and letting the latex snap against his skin. “If you need to stop, please tell me. I’m not here to hurt you. There’s no reason to -” “Oh, I’m not going to need to stop.” You shifted on the chair, trying not to move your arm, though he felt the slight drag of your knuckles through the denim of his jeans. “I want this tattoo, Jay. If it hurts, it hurts.” He felt the smile on his face growing as you spoke. The confidence in your voice wasn’t the false bravado that he’d heard many times before, but genuine determination on your part. We’ll see. 

“I’ve been told by a lot of people that I have light hands.” He used one finger to scoop up some of the Vaseline and then smeared it against your skin, clearing off the excess before picking up the machine and giving the pedal a few more cursory taps with his foot. Your eyes were drawn to the buzzing noise and then they met his briefly, the man giving you another quick smile and a wink. “You’ll have to let me know what you think.” 

Getting comfortable on the stool, Jay dipped the end of the needle into the tiny pot of ink and  then leaned closer, his eyes on the purple guidelines awaiting him on your skin. Just before the needle landed, you said his name, the man’s eyes darting up to find yours. You had an eyebrow raised and were trying to contain a grin, though your voice didn’t betray you. “They can’t all be wrong, right?” Oh, she’s gonna be just fine. 

He didn’t stop smiling for the entirety of the time he tattooed you - the two hours flying by.

— 

[the-blind-assassin-12]

It has been two days since I read this, and I am STILL not fully recovered from it. And that's honestly fine with me. This was WELL worth the wait - especially considering all of the WONDERFUL things you've been working on in the meantime!!

What I love most about this story is that both of these characters knew that they were interested in one another pretty much from the start, but that they both held back from progressing things until the time was right. In this case, a lot of the timing of things has been controlled by Jay's official marital status, but I think it also had just as much to do with a respect for boundaries because I get the feeling that even if his divorce had been finalized before her tattoo appointment, they still wouldn't have rushed things because there was that genuine mutual spark right away. Maybe they wouldn't have waited as long to make certain moves, but still. Just the idea that you can meet the right person at the wrong time ... and want to see it through badly enough that you wait for the time to be right? I love that. And that's what they did and it paid off BIG for them in this chapter.

And it's not at all just about the sex - but I'll get to that in a minute, hot effing damn, by the way. It's about the things that they get to learn about each other now. Severely intimate things that would be too much to know and still keep things light. Reader getting to see Jay's tattoos for the first time, touching the ink on his skin, learning the story behind them is also a way for her to learn more about him and who he is and how he thinks, in ways that she hasn't gotten to see just yet. It's a peek at who he is and who he was before they met and who he might continue to be in the future, and it's a really special moment for both of them because I truly don't think Kat was ever as interested in him that way as Reader is.

The fact that they get to start things off with a laugh, too? Those tribal condoms had me dying so I can only imagine seeing them in person. But it fits so well, and is also another little look into Jay's life and his relationship with his friends and the sense of humor that they share and I love it. The fact that they are actual functional condoms that are very much not expired because his bachelor party wasn't that long ago is a major plus also.

And then. The way that they are together. The way that he's so excited to learn the things she likes and the ways that she shows it? How he was nervous because he thought that he wasn't going to be in this position ever again? The fact that he wants to see and hear and feel all the ways that her body responds to him? Fuck. And this was just their first time? Holy hotdogs, I will not survive if you ever write smut for these two after they've been together for a while and had the chance to learn even more about each other, I'll tell you that right now.

The fact that they are going to spend the night together and that she's wearing his shirt and they're just gonna have a casual dinner on the couch and watch something after all that? I am so fucking happy for them, because all of that is fucking heaven. It's perfect. It's so light but also so intentional and I just love them so damn much and I am so glad that this is where they are now and I cannot wait to see where they get to go next.

Thank you so much for writing this and giving them the timeline that works best for them and their potential future. Thanks for making me black out for two whole days with the smut. Thanks for letting me wear Jay's shirt from the back of his closet, really and truly that is a blessing. You are a blessing and I fricking love you.

Nightingale - Part 7

Pairing: Jay Castillo x Female Reader

Word Count: 8,624

Rating: Not Safe For Work. This is happening. Finally. Smut. Sex. Jay’s tattoos. It’s all happening. 

Summary: With no more reason to keep your interactions platonic, you and Jay take things to the bedroom … and what happens there isn’t going to stay there. 

He opens up about some parts of his past that you weren’t expecting to learn, and clues you in on a few of the decisions he’s made in the more recent past … but most importantly, he shows you how much he wants you … and you show him what it feels like to be truly appreciated. 

Author’s note:

I have been wanting to give this to them since the minute I started writing this story. I’m SO HAPPY it’s finally happening. Thanks for being patient with me while I wrote 100k of Dieter and a bunch of Joel and even some Oberyn and Nico and Javi G. You guys are the best and I can’t thank you enough. 

Catch up on the first five parts here: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

You’d seen the inside of Jay’s bedroom the first time you were in the loft, the man pushing the door open to show you a few pieces of artwork that hung on the walls, but you’d never stepped into it until that night. And you didn’t step into it so much as he dragged you there, his eyes never leaving your face. “Open or shut?” Speaking quietly but clearly, Jay gestured to the door with a slight tilt of his chin. “Don’t want to -”

“Open’s fine. No one’s going to come in, right?” You knew the answer already, but were trying to keep things light because the second you let yourself think too hard about what was going on, you were going to lose it. Not because you didn’t want to go to bed with him, but because you couldn’t believe that it was happening. As you stared at him, you widened your eyes in realization. Oh, shit. “Finally get to see your tattoos, don’t I?” 

“You do.” He grinned, squeezing your hands before he let go of them, both arms hanging by his sides. “And I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m excited.” Excited? Wny? “You’ll figure it out as soon as you see ‘em.” He stepped closer again, the man’s chest rising and falling. “But.” He reached for you, his fingers trailing slowly up your arm to your elbow and then back down, fingers tangling with yours. “There’s no hurry.” 

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