#jated leto

[merlin-the-not-so-magnificent]

I fucking hate the met gala theme this year - not just because I hate Karl Lagerfeld as a person, but because it is boring.

The Met Gala, despite all its pretensions, is when we get to judge the taste of millionaires, billionaires and most importantly Anna. People are meant to fuck it up, it's meant to be a weird wacky wonderland of couture. So to pick a designer who loved monochrome and cut his teeth designing boring clean line chanel undermines the whole point.

I keep seeing people saying the men are killing it but its the same wave of black tuxes as always. Just this time add some beading or a brooch or weird sleeves and suddenly you're cosplaying as Karl. The emoji on the hastag for the night is literally a white shirt collar and black tie. And even most of those who opposed the theme by wearing pink still stuck to the rest of the unspoken rules in pastel ai generated chanel-esc meh.

Most on theme year since heavenly bodies and as its antithesis I doubt it will produce a single iconic look.

[fedorahead]

people are only into jated leto for his autohomoeroticism

[randomlittleimp]

Watching Panic Room because Amazon fucked up my delivery of Dune. We couldn't scroll any more. God we've watched a lot of movies during this pandemic.

[50shadesofjaredleto]

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Curse of The Villain”

For one day in the whole year, villains switch personalities with their significant other: is it the universe’s way to balance itself out or just a coincidence? Nobody really knows but one thing is for sure: all henchmen have the couples they work for on lockdown in Penthouses and hideouts. God forbids they’re unleashed upon the world in the state they’re in!

Today, Wednesday the 18th

6:41 am

You open your eyes, startled by the sudden switch in mood: it’s that magical day in the year when you’ll have The Joker’s personality and he’ll have yours. The King of Gotham is sleeping a few inches away from you and it instantly pisses you off; you are possessive also, but right now it’s off the charts since you feel what J usually fells.

Why isn’t he glued to you?!

You shove yourself into him, your fingers creeping up in his boxers so fast it wakes him up.

“Pumpkiiinnnn,” The Joker whines, uncomfortable.

“Shut up!” you growl. ��Everything is mine!!” a crazed Y/N hisses and he tries to move but there’s no way to escape your grip.

“Ouch, that hurts,” he takes your hand out of his underwear and places it around his waist.

“But it’s mine!” you breathe on his lips and cling to him like a spider to his prey.

“You’re suffocating me, Princess,” your boyfriend protests and you just back your head a little bit, enough for him to oxygenate his brain.

“Shut up, I wanna sleep in!” you bite his shoulder, then his neck, the thought of him glancing at another woman making your blood simmer with jealousy so you threaten: “If you even think about cheating on me, I’m going to kill you!!”

“I’m not, I swear. I love you too much,” J kisses your cheek, being the one trying to please and reassure the Queen of his affection this time around.

Bless this curse! Otherwise you wouldn’t catch him articulate the words.

You scoff, annoyed:

“Pfft, love. Give me a break!” the angry Y/N having J’s personality gets worked up. “Love is crap, there’s no such thing!”

“That’s mean…” a hurt Joker kisses your lips, sighting. “You say such mean stuff sometimes…”

Yeah, only one day a year. He already can’t handle his own medicine and it’s just been a few minutes since the curse started.

“Zip it ! I wanna be lazy today,” you cut him off and spank his butt, yanking him in your arms again.

10:34 am

The Joker is definitely not a morning person but today is different: he has your bubbly, energetic personality so he’s all over the kitchen. Y/N is the grouchy one now while waiting for breakfast. Why? Because your boyfriend is cooking and he has absolutely no skills in the field. But since J has your exuberance and positivity, there’s nothing that can stop him.

“You want coffee, babe?” he sweetly smiles and places a cup of steamy goodness in front of the crabby girlfriend.

“I suppose so,” you lift your shoulders up and inquire: “What about my omelet? Is it going to be ready soon? I’m starving !”

“Almost there,” he rushes back to the skillet, adding more ingredients from the bags, boxes and containers scattered on the entire counter.

J is wearing a pair of black sweatpants, his hair gathered in a mini-man-bun-thing, a bunch of green strands rebelliously hanging around his face. He looks quite adorable, not that you would mention anything on the subject.

Not while possessing his temper.

More fumbling around and more condiments sprinkled on top of whatever the amateur chef is cooking, but it seems food is done.

“Here babe,” the dish is finally placed in front of a confused Queen.

It looks like somebody barfed in your plate.

“What the hell is this J ??!!” you ask, disgusted.

“Your omelet, Doll,” he leans over the counter, anxious to hear your opinion.

“Is this…is this corn?!” you play around in the mess, trying to guess if it’s remotely eatable.

“U-hum,” The Joker bites on his lip, waiting for you to take a bite.

“In my eggs?! I hate corn !” you sneer and the smile freezes on his face. “Are these…chopped grapes?!” you poke the mushy, gooey lumps.

“Y-yes,” he gulps, nervous about the eerie tone in your voice.

“That’s gross!” you snap, pushing the plate away.

J gasps, completely devastated at your reaction.

“Can you please try it? I added grape juice too,” a disappointed boyfriend begs, nonchalantly mentioning the ingredient like it’s the most normal piece to add to an omelet. “Took me almost 30 minutes to put it together…”

You have no intention of touching the poison, yet you make an effort because he seems completely overwhelmed. You hesitantly take the fork to your mouth, slowly chewing on the morsel.

“This is the worse breakfast I ever had in my life,” you justly conclude, almost gagging since it tastes at terrible as you thought it would.

The Joker is heartbroken and you can tell, that’s why you decide to cut him some slack.

“You’re lucky you’re cute though, it compensates for your horrible cooking,” you stare him down, mad for some reason.

“You think I’m cute?” he shyly blinks, tucking some of the rebel green strands behind his ear.

“I suppose so,” you sigh, bored with the dialogue.

“How cute?” J impatiently wants to know, starting to eat from your plate like it’s the best culinary achievement of the year.

It makes you nauseated.

“Cute enough to keep me interested,” you mutter. “You know there are other guys on this planet besides you, right? You’re not all that,” the grumpy Y/N brings to his knowledge. “You’re incredibly fortunate I’m still here !”

He stops eating.

“That’s…that’s the cruelest thing somebody has ever said to me…” the mortified boyfriend pouts and returns by the stove, starting to clean the mess he made with his shitty breakfast. He’s silent and keeps on sniffling while you feel strange: it’s whatever J feels when he upsets you and doesn’t know how to make it better.

You get up from your chair and slide between him and the counter, groping him as he sulks.

“What’s wrong?” The Queen demands an explanation from her man.

No reply. He wants to reach for a box of crackers but you trap his hands and place them around your waist. The Joker avoids your gaze.

“Hey, who’s my favorite blue eyed Pretzel, hm?” you get on your toes and kiss the puckered lips.

“Me...” he mutters, finally looking at you.

“That’s right,” you smirk and kiss him again. “Even if there are better guys out there, you’re my guy, ok?”

The grin on his face! Similar to a four year old’s that found his favorite toy.

“Ok…”

“Now stop your nonsense and go change into something nice!” you grope him again and head towards the living room.

12:03 pm

“Nope,” you glance at the new attire he put together. “I don’t approve.”

You already sent him to change clothes twice.

“But what I am supposed to wear, Pumpkin?!” J flares his arms around, frustrated you are so hard to please.

Damn right you are since you have his charismatic personality!

“Drop the attitude!” you growl, pointing the finger at him. “Since you have no idea what you’re doing, go change in pair of black pants and that purple shirt I like.”

“But I think I should…” he tries to have a comeback.

“GO!!!” you raise your voice, displeased with the small rebellion.

He stomps on the way towards the walk-in closet and Y/N is not happy:

“I said drop the attitude!!!”

In 10 minutes he’s back in the living room, only has the pants on and wants to put on the shirt when he sees himself in the huge mirror you two have set up in the living room. The Joker frowns, ditching the shirt on the couch nearby and touches his chest, suspicions.  

“I think I’m getting saggy,” he turns to the left, then to the right, analyzing his reflection.

J has your personality traits so insecurity is included as bonus!

He squeezes his chest together, then flexes his muscles, examining his butt shape too in the process.

“You’re not saggy; you look fine,” you grumble, scrolling through your cell phone.

“Are you sure, babe?”  

“I’m sure; you could bounce a quarter off those buns,” you lick your lips, winking.

The Joker blushes even if you can’t see it with the pale skin tone that never changes color; giggles a bit, wanting to put his shirt on.

“Stop!” you signal him. “Com’ere.”

“What for?” he inquires and places the shirt back on the couch.

“I wanna sit in your lap,” you pat the space next to you on the leather loveseat. “A Queen needs a throne to sit on so don’t make me repeat myself!”

“But I’m busy Pumpkin,” J whines since he wanted to go to his office and research some details about a future heist.

“Busy?!” you sneer. “Doing what?! It’s not like you have a real job!!”

“W-what?...” he stutters, not believing his ears.

“I didn’t think you’re deaf too on top of everything else,” you go back to look at your phone, oblivious to his pain.

You hear The Joker’s erratic breathing and after a few minutes when you look up from your screen… he’s gone.

2:16 pm

You didn’t search around for your boyfriend, but you probably should.

What is he up to?!

Nothing downstairs, so you’re headed upstairs now.

First two bedrooms: nothing.

Master bedroom: bingo.

Two duffel bags on the floor and the noises coming from the closet alert of his presence. J rushes out with clothes and ignores you, visibly distressed.

“What are you doing?” a confused Y/N shrieks.

“I’m leaving you!” J keeps folding the clothes and you mischievously snicker:

“Oh, are you? And where are you gonna go?”

“Anywhere but here!” he stacks pants and shirts on the bed, frustrated.

“Why are you leaving me, hm?” you sarcastically laugh, aggravated at his response.

“You’re mean to me!” he blows the green hair off his face; that mini-man-bun-thing is pretty useless.

“And?” you tap your fingers against your thighs, angered. “Deal with it!”

“I don’t deserve to be treated like this,” The Joker rubs his eyes and you kick one of the duffle bags with all you’ve got. It tips over and a bunch of toiletry items fly around, including a framed picture with the two of you.

He gets flustered and walks towards the door, but you’re faster and block the way out.

“I’m not taking anything then, you can keep it all!!” J pushes his woman but she won’t budge.

“Nobody leaves me!” you mumble through your clenched teeth, shocked he has such a nerve.

Well, it’s your nerve he has and there’s nothing that can be done until the curse wears off.

“Umm…You don’t own me Princess,” he gulps, anxious about what came out of his mouth.

You start laughing like crazy.

“Are you sure?” the laugh abruptly halts and you get in his face: he doesn’t know what to do, intimidated by your cold stare.

Lost puppy look, helpless and defenseless.

It lowers your merciless attack; it’s just too disarming, even if you have his personality.

You exhale, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Hey, who’s my favorite blue eyed Pretzel, hm?”

“Me…” the pouted King reaffirms, skeptically kissing his terrible girlfriend.

“Wrong answer. I have other boyfriends on the side,” the spite returns and J’s heart shatters to tiny, minuscule, invisible pieces.

“You do?!”

“Yeap, you’re not all that, I told you before.”

His vision is getting blurry; J is about to pass out.

“I’m not the only one?!” the shaky voice musters a question.

“Ha! You wish,” you snicker, enjoying antagonizing a worried Joker.

And still…you feel compelled to throw him a bone.

“For a genius, you’re so stupid sometimes,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“Am I?” he gulps, hoping you were joking when you said you have other boyfriends behind his back.

“You are, but you’re my stupid genius,” you slap his butt and give him a nudge towards the mess he created with his moving out project. “Clean that up and then come downstairs!”

4:51 pm

You’ve been watching TV for a couple of hours, your head resting on his shoulder.

“I want to have a baby,” you blur out and he holds his breath. “Plus, I’m horny and I want to have sex. Might as well try to make a baby,” the Queen’s indifferent tone hurts J’s feelings.

“This is not romantic, Pumpkin. I’m not an object, alright? You can’t use me like a piece of meat!”

“We’ll have a kid, it’s decided,” you continue, disregarding his speech.

“We can’t have a baby; my body will change. I work hard to be fit,” he tries to negotiate his way out of it.

“Your body will change?!” you dig your chin in his forearm. “I’ll be the pregnant one.”

“I know Princess, but it rubs on dads too.”

“I don’t care,” you take off the elastic that keeps together his mini-man-bun-thing, starting to unbutton his shirt. Not too much to do since only 4 buttons are buttoned.  

“Having a kid will make me feel old,” J whines, but unzips your dress nevertheless.

“You are old!” you bitterly underline. “Now try to concentrate so I won’t have to fake it again.”

His eyes get big.

“What do you mean…fake it? You…you fake it, babe?!” The King’s pride takes such a sudden, serious blow he’s about to lose consciousness.

“Duh, yeah!  Sometimes you get soooooo enthusiastic and I’m just done: I want a fast wham-bam thank you ma’am, not a three hour tour de force.”

J stares at the ceiling, then at you, then back to the ceiling, then down at your cleavage, his crushed dignity making it impossible to differentiate between the thoughts running through his head.

Wow, he looks like a total mess. Should you do something about it?...The Joker’s difficult personality you enjoy for the day doesn’t give you too much to work with.

“I don’t fake it all the time,” you lift his chin up without any trace of emotion in your voice. “Just now and then, the rest is real.”

It sounds you’re reciting from a dull poem book.

“What’s wrong?” you try to guess because you want to have sex and he just switched off.

Maybe J took it personally?...How are you supposed to know since you possess his lovely temper?

“Listen here, Pretzel!” you lose your patience. “You’re good in bed, I’ll give you that. But it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Deal with it and move on!”

Your speech doesn’t have the desired effect.

“I’m not…I’m not perfect?!” he mumbles in a trance.

“You’re not perfect, but you’re lucky you’re cute,” comes out of your mouth and his eyes light up:

“You think I’m cute?”

“Probably. There’s cuter out there but you’re my favorite average.”

“I am?” the silver teeth emerge from behind the innocent smile.

“U-hum,” you caress his face, displeased you have to say such sweet rubbish aloud.

“That’s the nicest thing somebody ever said to me,” The Joker sighs, more in love than ever.

For a few more hours that is, until the curse reverses.

“You didn’t call me Daddy today,” The Clown Prince of Crime gets the courage to bring up what’s been bothering him since this morning, believing he’s on steady ground.

“Don’t push it!” you admonish. “Why would I call you Daddy, hm? You’re not my father.”

J wants to fall back into his depression but you don’t give him time.

“But you’re my favorite blue eyed Pretzel,” you fastly add and he grins, very pleased to be the lucky recipient of his Queen’s quirky affection skills since she’s basically him for the duration of the day.

1:33 am

The sudden switch in your mind wakes you up: you have your personality back and The Joker also returned to the wonderful human being he is on a regular basis.

God help Gotham and his woman!

You have such a headache you keep on wiggling and it startles him. He opens one eye, not excited to be woken up by your fidgeting.

“What are you doing?” he growls, crabby beyond anything you can measure crabbiness with.

“I can’t sleep; sorry baby,” you cuddle to his chest and his hand slips in your underwear. Possessiveness is back full throttle so your butt gets groped and he shoves himself into you, blinded by jealousy.

“If you ever look at another man, I’ll kill you and your body will never be found!”

“I won’t,” you yawn, uncomfortable because he’s holding you so tight.

“Then who’s the blue eyed Pretzel, huh?” he sniffles your scent, antagonized.

“Who?!” you crinkle your nose, confused.

Once the curse ends, villains and their significant others don’t remember what they did or said for the time they switched personality. You only call J the blue eyed Pretzel one day a year and then both forget about it once the curse is gone, that’s why you have no clue what he’s talking about.

Somehow though that got stuck in the back of his mind this time around.

“Is that a code name?” you attempt to guess.

“You tell me, Y/N!!! Are you fucking around behind my back?” he accuses without any proof.

What else is new?!

“Of course not!” you pout, softly kissing his face all over, maybe you can calm down his insane ideas before they blow up. ”I only love you,” The Queen smiles and her King doubts:

“Are you sure?”

“I swear!” you pull down on his sweatpants, hopeful you can distract him from the crazy concepts with sex. “The blue eyed Pretzel sounds like a stupid nickname for an asshole I don’t even know,” you honestly explain.

The Joker purrs a bit, reckoning that after all, his woman wouldn’t dare cheating.

But it’s annoying the moniker popped in his brain!

That blue eyed Pretzel must be such a jerk for bothering Gotham’s royal couple with his insignificant presence!

 Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

AO3 account - same blog name: DiYunho

[lesbiancosimaniehaus]

I’m sorry but that 30STM weirdo (his name eludes me even as I look at his face rn) shouldn’t be cast in anything he’s too weird

[laststandx3]

be gay, do crime, be misogynic 

[iraniq]

Yes, totally!

Confession - Whenever i’m feeling sad I look at pictures of Jared Leto smiling.

I mean *heart eyes*

*swoon*

5 minutes ago my face was hurting from crying

Now it hurts because I cant stop smiling

 his happy is contagious

*sigh*

[iraniq]

I JUST DISCOVERED THE REASON FOR JARED'S IMMORTALITY

[damselindistress31]

Puddin 🍧

[ayo-edebiri]

What’s wrong with the new mobius movie? Why is it being ignored?

The movie itself isn't the problem - I mean, yes it was delayed like 5th times, but who cares -, Jated Leto is. I don't know the entire story, but he was accused of multiple sexual assaults... Maybe read these articles (x or x)

[robinruns]

I just heard something about Jated Leto tried to buy tumblr because of posts about him on here and big yikes. He is a bad man.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader- “What You Wish For”

He always blurs out things when he’s mad and takes it out on the wrong people. If he wants you and your daughter to be gone, why not grant his wish? After all, the great Joker doesn’t need anybody around.

“…and you two are always around, I wish you would just disappear!” J grumbles, irritated that his plans for last night’s kidnapping went downhill. Of course he has to take it on somebody and since you and your daughter happen to be right there…again…

“Hey, knock it out!” you urge him, noticing Emma squeezing harder on her teddy bear. She keeps on looking at you and her dad, uneasy. “That would be enough, don’t say things like this in front of our kid!” you frown, stopping what you’re doing for the moment, which is folding her little dresses.

“I mean it, I want you two to vanish! You are in my way, I want to be alone! I need peace and quiet,” he snarls, pacing around the living room, pointing his finger at Emma.

“Where…where should I go, daddy?” she whimpers, backing out a bit.

“I don’t give a damn, just get out of my sight!” The Joker replies, going out on the balcony.

“Are you serious?!” you mutter, not believing what just came out of his mouth. Emma starts crying and you have to go and hug her, trying to comfort a child that doesn’t understand her father’s outbursts. “Daddy didn’t mean it, honey, ok? He’s just upset. Go get ready for bed and I’ll come tuck you in. Stop crying, he didn’t mean it,” you wipe her tears, feeling your heart sink.

“D-does daddy h-hate me?” she stutters in your ear, sniffling.

“No, of course not, never! He can’t hate his little Pumpkin, there’s no way,” you smile, reassuring her, caressing her back to make it better. “Come on, go get ready, I’ll be right there,” and you put her down, watching as she slowly heads towards her bedroom. You deeply inhale and follow J on the balcony, determined to make things right.

He is sitting on the couch, fidgeting with his gun. You stomp towards him and yank the pistol out of his hand, tossing it on the concrete.

“Don’t say mean things to your daughter, do you hear me? She’s not even 6 yet!” “Get lost, Y/N!” he growls, pushing you away.

“No, I’m not getting lost!” you place yourself in front of him again. “You made her cry, are you happy about that? All that she knows is that you’re her dad and she loves you, she doesn’t grasp your … complicated behavior,” you make it sound as nice as you can since you want to strangle him on the spot.

“Shut up, Y/N!” J reaches for his gun but you take his hand and hold it in place.

“No, you have to go and make it up to her; you shouldn’t say such horrible things to Emma! I don’t care you are in a foul mood, deal with it!” you snap at him, annoyed. You let go of his hand and lift his chin up, forcing him to look at you since he’s avoiding your gaze.

“Is she…really crying?” he sighs, biting on his cheek. The bitter expression on your face confirms it. The Joker grunts, suddenly relaxing his shoulders and unexpectedly burying his face on your tummy. “I didn’t mean it…” you hear his muffled voice and you kick his shin, distancing from him.

“What would you do without us, hm? Don’t take us for granted!” and you turn your back, storming inside, not waiting for an answer. It won’t be a nice one anyway.

******************

The Joker gets inside Emma’s room, watching her play with the toys before bedtime.

“What are you doing, little Princess?” he asks, scratching his head because he doesn’t really know how to handle the situation.

“Waiting for mommy to put me to bed,” she answers getting up from the carpet, a bit startled, squeezing on her teddy bear.

“Wanna fix my hair?” J offers, fully aware that’s her favorite thing to do.

“Really?” she gasps, already searching for the comb, so excited for the opportunity. Children have such a way of being resilient.

He seats on the floor with the back against her bed. She crawls behind him and carefully starts combing his green hair, tracing the strands with her tiny hand.

“Ahhh, that feels good, Pumpkin Pie,” he purrs, closing his eyes. “You’re doing a great job. Can you purr for me?”

She leans over and makes some silly sounds, trying so hard to imitate him and J chuckles, grabbing both of her hands and covering them in kisses.

“I don’t want you to go away, alright?” J tils his head backwards, watching her giggle when he tickles her sides.

“Ok, daddy,” she kisses his Damaged tattoo and he senses that weird ache in his chest again. It’s a strange type of pain The Joker can never quite pinpoint.

You stop in the doorway, leaning against the wall and watch them, pleased your daughter looks happy now.

“Time for bed, honey,” you announce but let him tuck her in. “Did you do daddy’s hair? It looks great,” you praise her, kissing her goodnight and Emma nods a yes, thrilled you like it.

The Joker leans over to cover her with the blanket and kisses the tip of her nose. Emma locks her hands around his neck and pulls him down so she can hug him.

“I love you, daddy,” she snickers, waiting for him to say it back.

“Me too,” J shortly replies, attempting to get out of it.

“No, daddy, you have to say it!” your daughter whines and it makes you so proud.

Good girl, you think. You’re the one that taught her to make J say the words because he needs to: a reminder never hurts.

“I did,” he cheats, trying to trick her.

“No, you have to saaaaay it,” she cups his face, waiting.

“You sound like your mom, you know that?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Fine, I love you too; are we done here?” J mumbles, kissing her one more time and letting go.

“Yes, daddy, we’re done,” she snatches her teddy bear from you and widely smiles when you wink at her, approving the strategy you worked on so hard. She’s not your kid for nothing.

*******************

J watches you change for bed and you glance at him, not being in the mood to talk anymore. He doesn’t say a word either so you just turn off the light and go on your side of the bed, knowing you will fall asleep soon because you are tired.

“Say, Kitten, are you going with me tomorrow? I need you for the heist,” he starts the conversation.

“Maybe,” you yawn, punching your pillow to make it more comfortable.

“You know, I really wanted to…”

You fakely snore, louder and louder, interrupting, hinting he should stop talking.

“Very funny, Baby Doll. You’re hilarious,” he mocks you, finding it hard to stay awake. “Do you still love me?” J sarcastically inquires and he distinguishes your fingers in the dim night light, showing just a small gap between the thumb and index. “That’s it?!”

“Yeap, already too much” your answer promptly comes and you get under the sheets, not wanting to continue the dialogue. “I’m exhausted.”

He wants to say something harsh but ends up babbling stuff to himself as you ignore his behavior.

******************

“We’re going to the park and then for a drive. I’ll be back in time,” you little note on the kitchen table lets J know of your plans when he wakes up. He spends the day preparing for tonight, instructing his henchmen on what to do and gathering supplies for the robbery. Why aren’t you texting back? The Joker hates it when he sends you messages and you don’t respond right away.

A few more hours pass by, still nothing. And why didn’t you two return yet? You have to go with him tonight. Texting again for the 50th time, no reply… and again, and again. Couple more hours go by…it’s getting dark, no sign from you. Time passes by and nothing.

J starts to get impatient. It’s night time now and he has to cancel the plans. Everything is postponed. My God, he’s not thrilled about it but there is no trace of you so he forgets he is mad about his ruined scheme. He calls around to see if anybody saw you or heard from you. Nobody did.

Where are my girls? he wonders, reading the message from Frost that lets him know the henchmen didn’t find anything around town. The Joker sent them all out and about to search for you and he stayed behind at the penthouse, just in case you will return. What if someone took you? The thought makes him squirm on his chair. What if you just…left? That’s impossible, there is no way you would… …right?… What if you got caught? Would they take you to Arkham? The police station?…

1 in the morning and he is getting more and more restless and worried on your disappearance. It’s so unlike you to do such a thing, even if you fight you never leave him hanging: you always text him back or tell him your whereabouts.

Where are my girls?

He finally has the peace and quiet he was so adamant to request this morning, but dammit, the silence is deafening. This is what it feels like without you and Emma around? You are always around. J doesn’t like the quietness. At all. Or the weird ache in his chest again.

If nothing turns up in a few hours, he will look for you two himself with the whole crew, even hire more people. Swipe the city to every little corner until he finds something. Will he find anything? He has to, no other option.

The Joker needs his girls back.

*******************

“Ssstttt, be quiet, honey,” you tell Emma as you close the door behind you. You pick her up in your arms because she is very sleepy and fussy. You went to the park and then got out of Gotham for a drive. You really wanted to take her to the woods on the old deserted highway because it’s your favorite spot: you can see deers out there and so much wildlife she would have surely enjoyed. But your car broke down in the middle of nowhere and on top of everything  your phone died and you didn’t have the charger with you.

The entire day you tried to find the problem and fix it with no success. Then the night came and you couldn’t see well anymore and decided to wait until the morning. You were lucky another vehicle passed you by and the driver stopped to help. The guy had no idea who you were but it didn’t made you less alert and prepared to kill in case he turned out to be a psycho. Ha, that’s a good one. You actually softly laughed at the idea: a woman like you suspecting someone else of being a psycho.

But… he was actually able to start your car and you drove right back to Gotham.

3 in the morning- jeez, what a looong day!

You walk in the master bedroom and you see The Joker sleeping on your side so you have to go on his, carefully placing Emma in the middle and finally winding down.

“Daaaddyyyy…” she snuggles to his chest, half asleep, realizing he’s there.

He opens his eyes and gulps, crushing her in his arms while she winces, uncomfortable.

“I can’t breathe…” she complains, already dozing off and he loosens his embrace, reaching for you.

“Where…where were you????????” he whispers, concerned but striving to conceal how distressed he still is.

“The stupid car broke down”, you hum, keeping it down for your daughter, scooting over towards him as much as you can without squashing your kid,” and the phone died too. The whole thing was such an ordeal, really bad luck. I am beat. Did you go on the heist?”

“Yeah,” J lies. “Why, you think I wouldn’t go without you?” he hisses but you don’t even care. You are already snoozing, holding his hand on top of Emma.

“Didn’t you enjoy the day without us though?” you struggle to say in your sleep. “You didn’t want us around…”

“Yeah, it was great,” The Joker intertwines his fingers with yours, continuing even if you don’t really hear him anymore at this point. “ I had fun without you two.”

My girls are back, he thinks, finally at ease after being on the edge all day. And the weird ache in his chest makes him take a deep breath. It’s a strange type of pain he can never quite pinpoint.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[iraniq]

I KNEW HE DIDN'T SHAVE 😭🖤

All hail the beard!

He gets me every time with those beautiful eyes 💋🖤💋🖤💋🖤💋🖤

Jared IG

[cleverglitterturtle-blog]

Cupcake

JOKER X READER

Sooooo that's my first image everrrr and I rly fkn hope you'll like it!!! English is not my mother tounge that means there could be a couple grammar mistakes 😁 But yeah enjoy it<3

You were sitting on your comfortable bed in your masterbedroom as your green haired boyfriend walked through the door and enterd the room. You did not even try to look at him because you were reading that super exciting book wich took one stupid week to arrive. The Joker meanwhile took out his purple coat and placed himself on the edge of the bed. He tried to unbutton his shirt but it was useless he was drunk. "(y/n) get your ass over here and help me !! " he growled Still trying to unbutton his shirt. "OHHH GREAT " you thought to yourself you just wanted to enjoy your book and now you have to deal with a drunk Joker and hellll no nobody wants to deal with a drunk Joker. So you quickly finished the sentence you were reading put your book on your nightstand and crawled over to him. He turned around so you could easily unbutton these stupid buttons. " are you hungry daddy? " you asked calm not to think about that he made you stop reading your book. "I made cupcakes today!" you added proud of yourself. The Joker looked at you for a few seconds and than started to laugh maniacally you couldn't help yourself and you too started to laugh. " you know daddy loves your cupcakes kitten" he said throwing his shirt on the ground. You stood up from the bed and made your way downstairs to the kitchen as you heard your green haired boyfriend scream "(y/n) come the fuck here what the fuck is that? " You stopped what you were doing and annoyed head back upstairs really hoping that he would eat and finally fall asleep so you could read your book. You enterd the room just to see him standing in front of you with his golden shorts holding the pink pillow in his hands wich You oderd along with the book.

"what is it J?" you asked

"what the fuck is that?" he asked you both confused and bugged

"it's a pillow honey! you answered really wanting to crash his head against the wall

"I know what the fuck that is don't be Smart on me kitten! What's wrong with the color?" he asked you again but these time he clearly was pissed

"nothing is wrong with the color J.. I also got one for you!! You said already knowing the answer. But you didn't care first he won't let you finish your book and now he doesn't like these cute pillows. FUCK IT!

" I'm not going to sleep with these fucking pink pillows " he growled (there we go)

You screamd "jeezzz J" while you turned around to leave the room and head back downstairs to the kitchen. After 10 minutes you took the plate and again made your way back upstairs. The Joker imidietly looked at the plate in your hand as you walked through the door. " you really should do that everyday dollface " he said with a smirk on his face trying to grab one but you were fast and did not allow him to finally eat that good smelling cupcake. " sooo pudinnn if you really want one than we are going to sleep with these cute beautiful pillows tonight! " you told him with a little smile . " don't make me stand up doll.. give me the fucking plate.!! " he growled with a dead serious look on his face. If looks could kill you would be dead by now. Alright than you thought to yourself and picked one from the plate and started to eat it knowing he loved your cupcakes more than anything else and besides he would probably kill you if he wasn't drunk but he is and you used that. You continued and moaned while eating the cupcake. "Stop eating kitten we'll sleep tonight with these fucking pink pillows!" he said annoyed and you could swear you heard something in his voice that sounded like he was begging. "but don't think that's it dollface I'll punish you later for that!" he growled but you didn't care you got what you wanted. You handed him the plate and sat next to him. After he finished the whole thing in minutes you took your book from your nightstand and started to finally read again while the Joker was watching a movie and resting his head on your shoulder. After a while you looked at him he was sleeping with both of the pink pillows. You laughed putting your book back on the nightstand and crawled over to to kiss him and rest your head on his chest. " I'll still punish you kitten! " he growled pulling you closer to him.

So that's my first image!!!!! AGAIN Excuse my Grammer