#jated Leto

[randomlittleimp]

Watching Panic Room because Amazon fucked up my delivery of Dune. We couldn't scroll any more. God we've watched a lot of movies during this pandemic.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Curse of The Villain”

For one day in the whole year, villains switch personalities with their significant other: is it the universe’s way to balance itself out or just a coincidence? Nobody really knows but one thing is for sure: all henchmen have the couples they work for on lockdown in Penthouses and hideouts. God forbids they’re unleashed upon the world in the state they’re in!

Today, Wednesday the 18th

6:41 am

You open your eyes, startled by the sudden switch in mood: it’s that magical day in the year when you’ll have The Joker’s personality and he’ll have yours. The King of Gotham is sleeping a few inches away from you and it instantly pisses you off; you are possessive also, but right now it’s off the charts since you feel what J usually fells.

Why isn’t he glued to you?!

You shove yourself into him, your fingers creeping up in his boxers so fast it wakes him up.

“Pumpkiiinnnn,” The Joker whines, uncomfortable.

“Shut up!” you growl. “Everything is mine!!” a crazed Y/N hisses and he tries to move but there’s no way to escape your grip.

“Ouch, that hurts,” he takes your hand out of his underwear and places it around his waist.

“But it’s mine!” you breathe on his lips and cling to him like a spider to his prey.

“You’re suffocating me, Princess,” your boyfriend protests and you just back your head a little bit, enough for him to oxygenate his brain.

“Shut up, I wanna sleep in!” you bite his shoulder, then his neck, the thought of him glancing at another woman making your blood simmer with jealousy so you threaten: “If you even think about cheating on me, I’m going to kill you!!”

“I’m not, I swear. I love you too much,” J kisses your cheek, being the one trying to please and reassure the Queen of his affection this time around.

Bless this curse! Otherwise you wouldn’t catch him articulate the words.

You scoff, annoyed:

“Pfft, love. Give me a break!” the angry Y/N having J’s personality gets worked up. “Love is crap, there’s no such thing!”

“That’s mean…” a hurt Joker kisses your lips, sighting. “You say such mean stuff sometimes…”

Yeah, only one day a year. He already can’t handle his own medicine and it’s just been a few minutes since the curse started.

“Zip it ! I wanna be lazy today,” you cut him off and spank his butt, yanking him in your arms again.

10:34 am

The Joker is definitely not a morning person but today is different: he has your bubbly, energetic personality so he’s all over the kitchen. Y/N is the grouchy one now while waiting for breakfast. Why? Because your boyfriend is cooking and he has absolutely no skills in the field. But since J has your exuberance and positivity, there’s nothing that can stop him.

“You want coffee, babe?” he sweetly smiles and places a cup of steamy goodness in front of the crabby girlfriend.

“I suppose so,” you lift your shoulders up and inquire: “What about my omelet? Is it going to be ready soon? I’m starving !”

“Almost there,” he rushes back to the skillet, adding more ingredients from the bags, boxes and containers scattered on the entire counter.

J is wearing a pair of black sweatpants, his hair gathered in a mini-man-bun-thing, a bunch of green strands rebelliously hanging around his face. He looks quite adorable, not that you would mention anything on the subject.

Not while possessing his temper.

More fumbling around and more condiments sprinkled on top of whatever the amateur chef is cooking, but it seems food is done.

“Here babe,” the dish is finally placed in front of a confused Queen.

It looks like somebody barfed in your plate.

“What the hell is this J ??!!” you ask, disgusted.

“Your omelet, Doll,” he leans over the counter, anxious to hear your opinion.

“Is this…is this corn?!” you play around in the mess, trying to guess if it’s remotely eatable.

“U-hum,” The Joker bites on his lip, waiting for you to take a bite.

“In my eggs?! I hate corn !” you sneer and the smile freezes on his face. “Are these…chopped grapes?!” you poke the mushy, gooey lumps.

“Y-yes,” he gulps, nervous about the eerie tone in your voice.

“That’s gross!” you snap, pushing the plate away.

J gasps, completely devastated at your reaction.

“Can you please try it? I added grape juice too,” a disappointed boyfriend begs, nonchalantly mentioning the ingredient like it’s the most normal piece to add to an omelet. “Took me almost 30 minutes to put it together…”

You have no intention of touching the poison, yet you make an effort because he seems completely overwhelmed. You hesitantly take the fork to your mouth, slowly chewing on the morsel.

“This is the worse breakfast I ever had in my life,” you justly conclude, almost gagging since it tastes at terrible as you thought it would.

The Joker is heartbroken and you can tell, that’s why you decide to cut him some slack.

“You’re lucky you’re cute though, it compensates for your horrible cooking,” you stare him down, mad for some reason.

“You think I’m cute?” he shyly blinks, tucking some of the rebel green strands behind his ear.

“I suppose so,” you sigh, bored with the dialogue.

“How cute?” J impatiently wants to know, starting to eat from your plate like it’s the best culinary achievement of the year.

It makes you nauseated.

“Cute enough to keep me interested,” you mutter. “You know there are other guys on this planet besides you, right? You’re not all that,” the grumpy Y/N brings to his knowledge. “You’re incredibly fortunate I’m still here !”

He stops eating.

“That’s…that’s the cruelest thing somebody has ever said to me…” the mortified boyfriend pouts and returns by the stove, starting to clean the mess he made with his shitty breakfast. He’s silent and keeps on sniffling while you feel strange: it’s whatever J feels when he upsets you and doesn’t know how to make it better.

You get up from your chair and slide between him and the counter, groping him as he sulks.

“What’s wrong?” The Queen demands an explanation from her man.

No reply. He wants to reach for a box of crackers but you trap his hands and place them around your waist. The Joker avoids your gaze.

“Hey, who’s my favorite blue eyed Pretzel, hm?” you get on your toes and kiss the puckered lips.

“Me...” he mutters, finally looking at you.

“That’s right,” you smirk and kiss him again. “Even if there are better guys out there, you’re my guy, ok?”

The grin on his face! Similar to a four year old’s that found his favorite toy.

“Ok…”

“Now stop your nonsense and go change into something nice!” you grope him again and head towards the living room.

12:03 pm

“Nope,” you glance at the new attire he put together. “I don’t approve.”

You already sent him to change clothes twice.

“But what I am supposed to wear, Pumpkin?!” J flares his arms around, frustrated you are so hard to please.

Damn right you are since you have his charismatic personality!

“Drop the attitude!” you growl, pointing the finger at him. “Since you have no idea what you’re doing, go change in pair of black pants and that purple shirt I like.”

“But I think I should…” he tries to have a comeback.

“GO!!!” you raise your voice, displeased with the small rebellion.

He stomps on the way towards the walk-in closet and Y/N is not happy:

“I said drop the attitude!!!”

In 10 minutes he’s back in the living room, only has the pants on and wants to put on the shirt when he sees himself in the huge mirror you two have set up in the living room. The Joker frowns, ditching the shirt on the couch nearby and touches his chest, suspicions.  

“I think I’m getting saggy,” he turns to the left, then to the right, analyzing his reflection.

J has your personality traits so insecurity is included as bonus!

He squeezes his chest together, then flexes his muscles, examining his butt shape too in the process.

“You’re not saggy; you look fine,” you grumble, scrolling through your cell phone.

“Are you sure, babe?”  

“I’m sure; you could bounce a quarter off those buns,” you lick your lips, winking.

The Joker blushes even if you can’t see it with the pale skin tone that never changes color; giggles a bit, wanting to put his shirt on.

“Stop!” you signal him. “Com’ere.”

“What for?” he inquires and places the shirt back on the couch.

“I wanna sit in your lap,” you pat the space next to you on the leather loveseat. “A Queen needs a throne to sit on so don’t make me repeat myself!”

“But I’m busy Pumpkin,” J whines since he wanted to go to his office and research some details about a future heist.

“Busy?!” you sneer. “Doing what?! It’s not like you have a real job!!”

“W-what?...” he stutters, not believing his ears.

“I didn’t think you’re deaf too on top of everything else,” you go back to look at your phone, oblivious to his pain.

You hear The Joker’s erratic breathing and after a few minutes when you look up from your screen… he’s gone.

2:16 pm

You didn’t search around for your boyfriend, but you probably should.

What is he up to?!

Nothing downstairs, so you’re headed upstairs now.

First two bedrooms: nothing.

Master bedroom: bingo.

Two duffel bags on the floor and the noises coming from the closet alert of his presence. J rushes out with clothes and ignores you, visibly distressed.

“What are you doing?” a confused Y/N shrieks.

“I’m leaving you!” J keeps folding the clothes and you mischievously snicker:

“Oh, are you? And where are you gonna go?”

“Anywhere but here!” he stacks pants and shirts on the bed, frustrated.

“Why are you leaving me, hm?” you sarcastically laugh, aggravated at his response.

“You’re mean to me!” he blows the green hair off his face; that mini-man-bun-thing is pretty useless.

“And?” you tap your fingers against your thighs, angered. “Deal with it!”

“I don’t deserve to be treated like this,” The Joker rubs his eyes and you kick one of the duffle bags with all you’ve got. It tips over and a bunch of toiletry items fly around, including a framed picture with the two of you.

He gets flustered and walks towards the door, but you’re faster and block the way out.

“I’m not taking anything then, you can keep it all!!” J pushes his woman but she won’t budge.

“Nobody leaves me!” you mumble through your clenched teeth, shocked he has such a nerve.

Well, it’s your nerve he has and there’s nothing that can be done until the curse wears off.

“Umm…You don’t own me Princess,” he gulps, anxious about what came out of his mouth.

You start laughing like crazy.

“Are you sure?” the laugh abruptly halts and you get in his face: he doesn’t know what to do, intimidated by your cold stare.

Lost puppy look, helpless and defenseless.

It lowers your merciless attack; it’s just too disarming, even if you have his personality.

You exhale, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Hey, who’s my favorite blue eyed Pretzel, hm?”

“Me…” the pouted King reaffirms, skeptically kissing his terrible girlfriend.

“Wrong answer. I have other boyfriends on the side,” the spite returns and J’s heart shatters to tiny, minuscule, invisible pieces.

“You do?!”

“Yeap, you’re not all that, I told you before.”

His vision is getting blurry; J is about to pass out.

“I’m not the only one?!” the shaky voice musters a question.

“Ha! You wish,” you snicker, enjoying antagonizing a worried Joker.

And still…you feel compelled to throw him a bone.

“For a genius, you’re so stupid sometimes,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“Am I?” he gulps, hoping you were joking when you said you have other boyfriends behind his back.

“You are, but you’re my stupid genius,” you slap his butt and give him a nudge towards the mess he created with his moving out project. “Clean that up and then come downstairs!”

4:51 pm

You’ve been watching TV for a couple of hours, your head resting on his shoulder.

“I want to have a baby,” you blur out and he holds his breath. “Plus, I’m horny and I want to have sex. Might as well try to make a baby,” the Queen’s indifferent tone hurts J’s feelings.

“This is not romantic, Pumpkin. I’m not an object, alright? You can’t use me like a piece of meat!”

“We’ll have a kid, it’s decided,” you continue, disregarding his speech.

“We can’t have a baby; my body will change. I work hard to be fit,” he tries to negotiate his way out of it.

“Your body will change?!” you dig your chin in his forearm. “I’ll be the pregnant one.”

“I know Princess, but it rubs on dads too.”

“I don’t care,” you take off the elastic that keeps together his mini-man-bun-thing, starting to unbutton his shirt. Not too much to do since only 4 buttons are buttoned.  

“Having a kid will make me feel old,” J whines, but unzips your dress nevertheless.

“You are old!” you bitterly underline. “Now try to concentrate so I won’t have to fake it again.”

His eyes get big.

“What do you mean…fake it? You…you fake it, babe?!” The King’s pride takes such a sudden, serious blow he’s about to lose consciousness.

“Duh, yeah!  Sometimes you get soooooo enthusiastic and I’m just done: I want a fast wham-bam thank you ma’am, not a three hour tour de force.”

J stares at the ceiling, then at you, then back to the ceiling, then down at your cleavage, his crushed dignity making it impossible to differentiate between the thoughts running through his head.

Wow, he looks like a total mess. Should you do something about it?...The Joker’s difficult personality you enjoy for the day doesn’t give you too much to work with.

“I don’t fake it all the time,” you lift his chin up without any trace of emotion in your voice. “Just now and then, the rest is real.”

It sounds you’re reciting from a dull poem book.

“What’s wrong?” you try to guess because you want to have sex and he just switched off.

Maybe J took it personally?...How are you supposed to know since you possess his lovely temper?

“Listen here, Pretzel!” you lose your patience. “You’re good in bed, I’ll give you that. But it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Deal with it and move on!”

Your speech doesn’t have the desired effect.

“I’m not…I’m not perfect?!” he mumbles in a trance.

“You’re not perfect, but you’re lucky you’re cute,” comes out of your mouth and his eyes light up:

“You think I’m cute?”

“Probably. There’s cuter out there but you’re my favorite average.”

“I am?” the silver teeth emerge from behind the innocent smile.

“U-hum,” you caress his face, displeased you have to say such sweet rubbish aloud.

“That’s the nicest thing somebody ever said to me,” The Joker sighs, more in love than ever.

For a few more hours that is, until the curse reverses.

“You didn’t call me Daddy today,” The Clown Prince of Crime gets the courage to bring up what’s been bothering him since this morning, believing he’s on steady ground.

“Don’t push it!” you admonish. “Why would I call you Daddy, hm? You’re not my father.”

J wants to fall back into his depression but you don’t give him time.

“But you’re my favorite blue eyed Pretzel,” you fastly add and he grins, very pleased to be the lucky recipient of his Queen’s quirky affection skills since she’s basically him for the duration of the day.

1:33 am

The sudden switch in your mind wakes you up: you have your personality back and The Joker also returned to the wonderful human being he is on a regular basis.

God help Gotham and his woman!

You have such a headache you keep on wiggling and it startles him. He opens one eye, not excited to be woken up by your fidgeting.

“What are you doing?” he growls, crabby beyond anything you can measure crabbiness with.

“I can’t sleep; sorry baby,” you cuddle to his chest and his hand slips in your underwear. Possessiveness is back full throttle so your butt gets groped and he shoves himself into you, blinded by jealousy.

“If you ever look at another man, I’ll kill you and your body will never be found!”

“I won’t,” you yawn, uncomfortable because he’s holding you so tight.

“Then who’s the blue eyed Pretzel, huh?” he sniffles your scent, antagonized.

“Who?!” you crinkle your nose, confused.

Once the curse ends, villains and their significant others don’t remember what they did or said for the time they switched personality. You only call J the blue eyed Pretzel one day a year and then both forget about it once the curse is gone, that’s why you have no clue what he’s talking about.

Somehow though that got stuck in the back of his mind this time around.

“Is that a code name?” you attempt to guess.

“You tell me, Y/N!!! Are you fucking around behind my back?” he accuses without any proof.

What else is new?!

“Of course not!” you pout, softly kissing his face all over, maybe you can calm down his insane ideas before they blow up. ”I only love you,” The Queen smiles and her King doubts:

“Are you sure?”

“I swear!” you pull down on his sweatpants, hopeful you can distract him from the crazy concepts with sex. “The blue eyed Pretzel sounds like a stupid nickname for an asshole I don’t even know,” you honestly explain.

The Joker purrs a bit, reckoning that after all, his woman wouldn’t dare cheating.

But it’s annoying the moniker popped in his brain!

That blue eyed Pretzel must be such a jerk for bothering Gotham’s royal couple with his insignificant presence!

 Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

AO3 account - same blog name: DiYunho

[lesbiancosimaniehaus]

I’m sorry but that 30STM weirdo (his name eludes me even as I look at his face rn) shouldn’t be cast in anything he’s too weird

[laststandx3]

be gay, do crime, be misogynic 

[iraniq]

I JUST DISCOVERED THE REASON FOR JARED'S IMMORTALITY

[damselindistress31]

Puddin 🍧

[ayo-edebiri]

What’s wrong with the new mobius movie? Why is it being ignored?

The movie itself isn't the problem - I mean, yes it was delayed like 5th times, but who cares -, Jated Leto is. I don't know the entire story, but he was accused of multiple sexual assaults... Maybe read these articles (x or x)

[iraniq]

I KNEW HE DIDN'T SHAVE 😭🖤

All hail the beard!

He gets me every time with those beautiful eyes 💋🖤💋🖤💋🖤💋🖤

Jared IG

[cleverglitterturtle-blog]

Cupcake

JOKER X READER

Sooooo that's my first image everrrr and I rly fkn hope you'll like it!!! English is not my mother tounge that means there could be a couple grammar mistakes 😁 But yeah enjoy it<3

You were sitting on your comfortable bed in your masterbedroom as your green haired boyfriend walked through the door and enterd the room. You did not even try to look at him because you were reading that super exciting book wich took one stupid week to arrive. The Joker meanwhile took out his purple coat and placed himself on the edge of the bed. He tried to unbutton his shirt but it was useless he was drunk. "(y/n) get your ass over here and help me !! " he growled Still trying to unbutton his shirt. "OHHH GREAT " you thought to yourself you just wanted to enjoy your book and now you have to deal with a drunk Joker and hellll no nobody wants to deal with a drunk Joker. So you quickly finished the sentence you were reading put your book on your nightstand and crawled over to him. He turned around so you could easily unbutton these stupid buttons. " are you hungry daddy? " you asked calm not to think about that he made you stop reading your book. "I made cupcakes today!" you added proud of yourself. The Joker looked at you for a few seconds and than started to laugh maniacally you couldn't help yourself and you too started to laugh. " you know daddy loves your cupcakes kitten" he said throwing his shirt on the ground. You stood up from the bed and made your way downstairs to the kitchen as you heard your green haired boyfriend scream "(y/n) come the fuck here what the fuck is that? " You stopped what you were doing and annoyed head back upstairs really hoping that he would eat and finally fall asleep so you could read your book. You enterd the room just to see him standing in front of you with his golden shorts holding the pink pillow in his hands wich You oderd along with the book.

"what is it J?" you asked

"what the fuck is that?" he asked you both confused and bugged

"it's a pillow honey! you answered really wanting to crash his head against the wall

"I know what the fuck that is don't be Smart on me kitten! What's wrong with the color?" he asked you again but these time he clearly was pissed

"nothing is wrong with the color J.. I also got one for you!! You said already knowing the answer. But you didn't care first he won't let you finish your book and now he doesn't like these cute pillows. FUCK IT!

" I'm not going to sleep with these fucking pink pillows " he growled (there we go)

You screamd "jeezzz J" while you turned around to leave the room and head back downstairs to the kitchen. After 10 minutes you took the plate and again made your way back upstairs. The Joker imidietly looked at the plate in your hand as you walked through the door. " you really should do that everyday dollface " he said with a smirk on his face trying to grab one but you were fast and did not allow him to finally eat that good smelling cupcake. " sooo pudinnn if you really want one than we are going to sleep with these cute beautiful pillows tonight! " you told him with a little smile . " don't make me stand up doll.. give me the fucking plate.!! " he growled with a dead serious look on his face. If looks could kill you would be dead by now. Alright than you thought to yourself and picked one from the plate and started to eat it knowing he loved your cupcakes more than anything else and besides he would probably kill you if he wasn't drunk but he is and you used that. You continued and moaned while eating the cupcake. "Stop eating kitten we'll sleep tonight with these fucking pink pillows!" he said annoyed and you could swear you heard something in his voice that sounded like he was begging. "but don't think that's it dollface I'll punish you later for that!" he growled but you didn't care you got what you wanted. You handed him the plate and sat next to him. After he finished the whole thing in minutes you took your book from your nightstand and started to finally read again while the Joker was watching a movie and resting his head on your shoulder. After a while you looked at him he was sleeping with both of the pink pillows. You laughed putting your book back on the nightstand and crawled over to to kiss him and rest your head on his chest. " I'll still punish you kitten! " he growled pulling you closer to him.

So that's my first image!!!!! AGAIN Excuse my Grammer

[iraniq]

Awwwww.... That's so sweet and awesome! 😍😍😍 totally a thing his Knight majesty will do!

P.s. I like the emoticons in the text, it was even more fun to read 💘

GROCERY SHOPPING

One-shot story

Also available in wattpad 👈🏻 click here

It’s saturday morning, you stretched out and yawned as you get up from bed 🛏 . You walk towards the bathroom 🛁 🚽 to brush your teeth and wash your face. After that, you put on your favorite hoodie and gray sweatpants. You fixed your bed 🛏 and walk towards the kitchen. You look at one of the cabinets to see what you can cook for breakfast. As soon as you open the cabinet, you suddenly noticed that the shelf was half empty. There’s only protein bars, an open box cereal and a peanut 🥜 butter spread.

You: Oh crap (you said and closed the cabinet).

You then decided to look into the refrigerator to check if there’s something you can eat. Inside is a bottled water, orange 🍊 juice, and some left overs several days ago.

You: Geez! There’s nothing. I guess i need to drop by the grocery store to buy some groceries.

<Inside the grocery>

You grab a push cart and start going to each aisle to buy what you need. You took out your phone📱and look into your grocery list. Several minutes had passed, you took your phone📱one last time and check your grocery list.

You: I guess i have all i need. I just need to grab one more thing.

You started walking towards the personal hygiene section and look for some deodorant and panty liners. As you were browsing, you notice that it is at the top part of the aisle.

You: Damn it. It’s too high (you said as you try to reach for the panty liners).

Moments later, someone at your back extended their arms and reach into what you’re trying to get. You then heard a man’s voice.

Man’s voice: Is this the one? (he asked).

You: No. The one next to it (you said pointing to it without checking who is behind you).

Man’s voice: The pink one? (he asked again).

You: Yes that one (you said then you finally turn around to thank him) Thank you.

*You were suddenly surprised 😱 , when you finally realized who he is as soon as you turn around*

You: Oh my God! 😱

* The man of the hour, the one and only, Jared Leto came to your rescue*

Jared: Here you go (he said handing over the pink box of panty liners to you).

You: This is embarrassing (you said as your cheeks ☺ blushed as you took it from him).

Jared: It’s okay. You obviously needed my help. So, is that the right item?

You: Yes. It is. Thank you.

Jared: Don’t mention it.

You: By the way, i’m Cianna (you said as you introduced yourself to him).

Jared: Nice to meet you Cianna. Do you have all that you need?

Cianna: Yes. That’s the last item on my list.

*You notice that he was only holding a bottle of Almond milk 🥛 on his hand*

Cianna: What about you?

Jared: I got it right here (he said as he hold onto it) I was on my way to the counter when i saw you as i was walking by. Shall we?

Cianna: Huh?

Jared: To the counter. Do you mind if i put this inside your cart?

Cianna: Sure. Go ahead.

Jared then put the bottle of Almond milk inside your cart and offered to push the cart.

Soon enough, the two of you is at the counter. The cashier smiled at him as he greeted her and he unload the items from the cart. Several minutes later, after all the items were scanned, it’s time to pay. You were about to get your purse 👝 but Jared was quick and took out his wallet.

Jared: I got this one.

Cashier: Debit or Credit?

Jared: Credit (he said and swipe his credit card 💳 ).

Cashier: Here’s the receipt.

Jared: Thank you.

Cashier: Have a good day.

*Jared put back his credit card 💳 to his wallet and grab the bag of groceries. You also grab the other one*

Cianna: I could have pay for it myself but you beat me to it.

Jared: A simple thank you is enough. Where’s your car 🚘 ?

Cianna: My car 🚘 ?

Jared: Yeah, i’ll put this at the trunk.

Cianna: Oh, i walked on my way here. My apartment 🏠 is just a few blocks away.

Jared: I see. I’ll walk with you then.

Ciana: What?

Jared: You seriously want to carry all of this just by yourself? (he said referring at the grocery bags).

Cianna: I do it all the time.

*He just ignored you and said*

Jared: Lead the way (he said with a gesture).

*The two of you started walking. He started a conversation as the two of you walk*

Jared: Cianna, that’s a beautiful name by the way. What do you do?

Cianna: Thank you. I’m an editor.

Jared: Film 📹 ? The Papzz 📸 ?

(P.s Papzz 📸 short for “Paparazzi”)

Cianna: Of course not.

Jared: Then what?

Cianna: It’s a small company.

Jared: What do you do exactly?

Cianna: I do articles about kids, the environment.

Jared: No articles about me?

Cianna: We don’t do hollywood gossips. So nothing about you.

*A few blocks later, you both reach your apartment 🏠 *

Ciana: We’re here. Thank you for walking me home 🏠 .

Jared: Your welcome.

Cianna: I can take it from here (you said as you reach for the bag of groceries).

*He just looked at you and hold onto the grocery bag*

Cianna: (deep sighed) Would you like to come inside?

Jared: Thought you never ask. Yes.

The sound of the keys 🗝 clang as you open the door🚪. Thankfully you cleaned up before you left your apartment 🏠 . Jared followed behind you as the two of you get inside. You live in a studio apartment 🏠 .

Cianna: Welcome to my living space.

Jared: Looks cozy. I like it. Uhm, where should i put these?

Cianna: Right there (you said pointing at the counter top).

*Jared put the grocery bags and began taking out the items one by one*

Cianna: I can handle that. You’ve done enough already (you said as you grab a cooking pan and some kitchen utensils).

Jared: I insist.

Cianna: So…. I haven’t had breakfast yet, i’m thinking of making some french 🍞 toast and omelette 🍳 . I know you’re Vegan and i know you can’t eat eggs🥚. I don’t know if there’s something that i could offer you.

Jared: Don’t bother. How about you and i eat breaksfast outside?

Cianna: Us? The two of us.

Jared: Who else genius!

Cianna: No no no. I don’t know if i should. Didn’t we just met a while ago?

Jared: You should have thought about that before inviting me inside your apartment 🏠 .

Cianna: I was being nice. You paid for my groceries and carried them all the way here that’s why i invited you in.

Jared: My car 🚘 is parked back there in the grocery store. So let’s just walk back and then we can go some place to eat (he said as he start walking towards the door🚪).

Cianna: Hang on a sec…. What about your Almond milk🥛?

Jared: Just leave it. Hurry.

Cianna: Bu-but, isn’t that your favorite?

Jared: I’ll get it later. Let’s go.

Cianna: Okay (you said and grab the keys 🗝 and locked the door🚪as you follow behind him).

***End***

[miamiamoda]

Lana del Rey, Jated Leto Met Gala

[kmp78]

Well, be straightforward about your jealousy over her swooping in and stealing his heart when EVERYONE was soooo suuuuure no one ever could. 🤷🏼‍♀️ - I am not talking about stealing his heart but stealing his clothes. I do not have the reason to "imitate" Jated Leto. And Valery Kaufman does. So who is obsessed here, hmmm?

You.

It's you.

[iraniq]

IMAGINE ^_^ Imagine being a famous writer but being in an art block, so you move in a house on an small island away from humans, to search for inspiration, but there you meet another artist searching for his muse…

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @auntiemama1 @wolfgirl1074

[zabenundfliegen]

Galebi, modrci in sladoled // julij 2019

Zjutraj so jutra najlepša. Jate lastovic cvrkutajoče preletavajo nebo. Zelo hitre so, drobcene in elegantne. Letajo križem kražem, gotovo je v njihovem navideznem kaosu popoln vesoljni red, kot pri naravnih bitjih vobče. Grlice grulijo, tu in tam se regljajoče oglasi kakšna šoja. Galebi so po zgodnjejutranji fešti potihnili, tik pred sončnim vzhodom namreč kričijo, se kot ponoreli smejijo, menda je to z galebi novo, da se jim ob tako čudnih urah po strehah obmorskega mesteca trga. Njihovo neartikulirano divjanje spominja na divjanje posebnih ptičev, ki živijo na Azorskih otokih. Orientirajo se po zvezdah, umetne nočne luči jih popolnoma zmedejo, zato ob nočeh brezglavo letajo sem in tja ter povzročajo strašanski hrup, ki spominja na otroške krike.

“Mami, kje je môrje? Ne vidim ga!” “Kalinček, tole vse je morje, vidiš, čolni so parkirani v morju!” Kalinov koncept morja je drugačen, zanj je morje Atlantski ocean, vodna gmota, ki bolj ali manj buta ob peščeno obalo, s širnim obzorjem in tudi barve je druge; modrina je svetlejša in peneča se, belkasta. “To je Jadransko morje, Kalin, tako majčkeno je in bolj zeleno. Na dnu rastejo morski travniki, ki jih povodni mož tu in tam pokosi, zato po površju plavajo vse te travice … pa tudi zelena drevesa se ogledujejo v njem.”

Kam se damo? Dobro bi bilo, da imamo malo sonca in malo sence … joj, vse te brisače, na katere so položeni kamni – sem že skoraj pozabila, da si slovenski (morda ne le slovenski, da ne bom pristranska) poletni turisti zjutraj rezervirajo mesta na plaži, potem pa jih pol dneva ni, ker gredo na zajtrk, kosilo, večerjo in še po kakšnih drugih opravkih. Tako je plaža polna nekakšnih neuradnih nedotakljivih pa tudi neuporabljenih zasebnih lastnin, zaradi katerih odložimo brisače kar nekam, v en kot, no, tamle pri smeteh pa res ne bomo.

Na obplažni štant greva kupit gumijaste sandale, saj Kalin cvili, da ga v podplate pika. Opazim, da ima večina majhnih otrok, pa tudi kar nekaj odraslih, na nogah podobne zadeve. Ne spomnim se, da bi jih kot otrok kdaj uporabljala (kasneje mi še na kraj pametni ni prišlo); kamni in skale so ja super naravna refleksoterapija, sploh pa je zame plavati obuta nepredstavljivo.  

“Mami, meni mi je všeč, da sta dva člôveka!” “Ja, saj sva! Mami, pa mami. Pa še mami pa mami pa mami pa mami, celo sedem nas je, pravljično število!” S Kalinom korak po koraku vstopava v izolsko morje, tam pri svetilniku, in z odgovorom je pretežno zadovoljen. (Ja, saj tudi mene pika in tu in tam se urežem v kakšno školjko.) Zmočim mu roke in rokavčke, kolikor se iz lastnih izkušenj spomnim, se tako lažje nataknejo. “Mrzla je, mami, uiiii!”, cvili. “Ampak potem migamo in naredimo vodo, da je topla!” “Točno tako, moj morski ježek. Oziroma zelo podobno.” Zdaj, ko razume, kako ga rokavčki kot morskega metuljčka držijo na površju, medtem ko kot kužek pobrcuje, se mu čofotanje po toplem jadranskem morju zdi še posebej fino. “Da plavaš pod mano, mami!” Seveda plavam, enkrat, dvakrat, trikrat. Smeje se na vsa usteca, polna majhnih belih okroglih zobčkov. “A mi daš tvojo nogo, mami?” Iz vode pomolim stopalo, prime se za nožne prste in povlečem ga  za sabo, da zaglisira. “Jaz sem ena taka mašina, ki rêže! Ti si pa ena taka ladja, ko, ko, ko … ko ima motôr!” Kalin govori s širokimi o-ji in e-ji, kot bi bil Primôrec (ali pa argentinski Slovenec), kar je prav zanimivo, ker je, odkar je na svetu, njegova edina referenca glede slovenskega jezika moja nevtralizirana velenjščina (ko govorim z njim, ne uporabljam blago zvenečih skrajšank “kk” in “tk” in tudi iz množine izpleljane dvojine “sma” ne, pravo dvojino pa često; zadnjič je celo, na začudenje prisotnih, povsem akademsko razložil uporabo dvojine) ali en- do dvakrat na leto prav tak jezik mojih v Velenju živečih sorodnikov. Vse kaže, da je široka španščina za Kalinove samoglasnike naredila svoje. Zelô čêdno govori!

“Uuu, poglej, kak strašen motôr!” Motorinčki po mestni plaži brnijo sem in tja, kljub temu, da naj bi bila le-ta namenjena izključno pešcem. Tu in tam se pojavi kakšen policaj na res strašnem motorju, še en nonsens. Občutek, da ti med sončenjem motor lahko zapelje čez glavo ni najbolj prijeten.

“Mami, jaz bi imel tudi kopalke!” “Ja, a ni bolj fino, da si nagec? Saj sem jaz tudi, no, skoraj. Gate že moram imeti, tako pač je, ker sem velika (ti bom kdaj kasneje razložila), otročki pa so lahko nagi!” Na plaži ne vidim niti ene ženske brez modrca. Pomislek, ali bi ga tudi sama obdržala, kmalu odrinem. A smo se zato borile? Zdaj čakam, da kakšen uglajen kopalec oziroma kopalka kaj pripomni. Morda ne bo. Vsekakor imam pripravljen odgovor. “Vidite tistegale gosoda tamle? Ne nosi modrca, njegovo oprsje pa je znatno večje od mojega.” Nekaj v tem smislu. Potem bomo šli na sladoled, jaz bom pol iranske pistacije, pol egipčanske karamele, sladoledar nas bo poskusil ogoljufati za en evro. Kasneje bom na balkonu spila kozarec refoška in poslušala škržate in čuka, ki bo čukal v noč, dokler se ne vrnejo utrgani galebi. In še en krog bo sklenjen.

[vesoljevskatli]

IAU100 - leto posvečeno astronomiji

#zManost

Tri, dva, ena... Astronomsko obarvano leto se je začelo!

Skozi vse leto bodo pod geslom "100 let pod skupnim nebom" potekale različne astronomske aktivnosti, letošnji prvi dogodek je 100 ur astronomije in če uporabite ključnik #100HoursOfAstronomy boste odkrili, da se res marsikaj dogaja po celem svetu.

Tokratno predavanje v okviru večerov, ki jih na Astronomskem observatoriju Golovec v Ljubljani gostimo vsak drugi četrtek v mesecu, sem posvetila skrivnostnim pošastim, ki se skrivajo v osrčju galaksij. Zgodbe o odkritju teh objektov, ki jim pravimo aktivna galaktična jedra, so se mi zdele posebno zanimive: pričajo namreč o tem, da če se omejimo le na svetlobo, ki jo vidijo naše oči, s težavo spoznamo in razumemo skrivnosti vesolja.

V petdesetih letih prejšnjega stoletja, ko je bila radijska astronomija v polnem razcvetu, se je naprimer izkazalo, da obstajajo izredno močni radijski izvori. Ker je Luna občasno prečkala območje radijskega izvora 3C 273, so mu uspeli natančno določiti pozicijo na nebu – šlo je za zvezdi podoben objekt (po domače kvazar). Ker pa »ni vse zvezda, kar se sveti«, se je kmalu potem izkazalo, da gre pravzaprav za zelo oddaljeno z izjemno svetlim središčnim območjem. Opazovanja v svetlobi od radijske do rentgenske so se izkazala kot ključna za razumevanje mehanizmov, do katerih pride v kompaktnih središčih teh aktivnih galaksij, za katere smo danes prepričani, da v svoji notranjosti skrivajo supermasivno črno luknjo. Take črne luknje vključujemo tudi v kozmološke numerične simulacije s katerimi se tudi sama ukvarjam, saj učinkujejo na porazdelitev in obogatitev plina prisotnega v večjih galaktičnih sestavih, ki jim pravimo jate galaksij.

Ko smo se po predavanju zaustavili in poklepetali, sta mi dva izmed obiskovalcev priznala, da se v vesolju skriva res veliko zanimivega in nenavadnega. Včasih je vesolje težko dojemljivo, saj gre za dogajanja na ogromnih razdaljah in na časovnih skalah, ki sploh niso primerljiva človeškim, kljub temu pa navdušujoče. In navdušujoče je bilo tudi za ostale obiskovalce, saj so se oblačnemu vremenu navljub zaustavili še pri ogledu glavnega teleskopa Vega in demonstraciji delovanja manjšega teleskopa.

Ob zaključku tega dne pa ne morem mimo dejstva, da je minilo že deset let od Mednarodnega leta astronomije, pri katerem me žal ni bilo zraven. Takrat sem bila še doktorska študentka v rojstnem Trstu in si nisem predstavljala, da bom svojo astronomsko (in akademsko) pot nadaljevala v Sloveniji. Sedaj pa sem že vrsto let aktivno vključena v kar nekaj dogodkov, ki so se rodili takrat, in si iskreno želim, da bi tudi tokratno astronomsko obarvano leto zaživelo v svoji polnosti!

Zgornji zapis je bil originalno objavljen v skupini Frekvenca X ob začetku praznovanj IAU100