#jason todd is a way more forgiving person than i could ever be

[undertheredhood]

bruce who is trying to make amends with jason after gotham war: y'know, i don't want to live in a world where we're not tight.

jason who has finally had enough of bruce’s bullshit: then kill yourself

[psychovigilantewrites]

Sunshine's Shadow

Pairing: Jason Todd/Reader, Dick Grayson/Reader Genre: Slow burn smut? Porn with plot? Like eventually??? Word Count: 7,600 Read on Ao3 Part 1 of 2. Summary: You had powers of darkness that made you feel unwanted your whole life. Jason Todd was the first person to convince you that your darkness was sunshine. After his death, you went to Dick for comfort and started a relationship with him. And then, Jason came back. A/N:

I'm practicing writing again to prepare myself for the last chapter of Red Who? I'm not too happy with how I wrote this, but I'm hoping to start improving again along the way as I write and learn all over again. Also, I am not familiar with Titans! I know Jason never really joined? I just winged it I'm so sorry. I also aged up Jason's death here. I think the timeline is a bit messy pls forgive me.

Jason knocked on your door.

“Come in,” he heard your soft, muffled voice.

You were sitting on your bed, scrolling through your phone. You had soft instrumental music playing in your room. The table lamp was switched on on your bedside table, but the room was still dark.

“We’re getting ready for a spooky movie tonight,” Jason said, closing the door behind him and approaching you. “Care to join us this time?”

Your eyes darted from your phone to his, and you pursed your lips in hesitation.

“No thank you, I’m fine here,” you said and brought your attention back to your phone.

Jason sighed loudly and sat on the edge of your bed.

“Why don’t you ever join us?” he asked, “We’re the Teen Titans. We’re a team. You should join us for more team stuff besides official missions.”

You simply stared at Jason. He sensed that you had more to say but was hesitating opening up. So he got up and sat next to you. “You can tell me.”

“The room is dark, isn’t it?” you asked.

The question surprised Jason. “I mean, I guess? So what?”

“That’s me, Jason. You know how my powers work. This- this curse. The shadow I emit makes everything dark and gloomy, even if it’s a sunny day outside. And no one likes someone who brings darkness in a room,” you avoided his eyes and started picking at a hangnail on your finger.

“That’s why you won’t hang out with us?” he couldn’t help but laugh. “I thought you hated us or something.”

“What?” you looked at him incredulously, “How could I? I was afraid that you all hate me for being so depressing.”

“Has anyone told you that before?” Jason asked. He didn’t know much about where you came from, but he knew that you went to a lot of different schools and orphanages. An outsider, not unlike himself.

“The kids were always scared of me,” you confessed quietly, “They refused to play with me. That was fine, but then soon after they would bully me. Make fun of me, push me down, kick me. Reminded me again and again that I was a freak.”

For some reason, Jason always had the urge to protect you, even though you were slightly older than he was. Now that urge was stronger and he wanted to hurt anyone who hurt you, to shield you from all that negativity.

“Well,” he began, “I don’t know about those assholes, but whenever I see you, I never saw darkness.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Really!” he insisted, “I see a girl who likes to read, and who likes music. I see you smile whenever Roy and Jackson bicker. And when Wally does that thing where he starts vibrating when he eats? And on the field? The way you protect everyone, the way we can all trust that you have our backs.”

Jason held your eyes. “I don’t see any darkness. In fact, I see sunshine! Because whenever you’re around, it makes us all feel warm and safe.”

He saw the way you were trying hard to not let the tears brimming your eyes fall. “You’re not lying.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“Of course I’m not,” he confirmed. “Have I ever lied to you?”

“I guess not,” you sniffled, “I can tell when people lie. And you have never lied to me.”

“What do you mean you can tell when people lie?”

“I don’t know. It’s sort of always been a thing I could do,” you shrugged, “I don’t join in conversations, so I just observe people, and I can sort of tell what they’re thinking or when they’re lying.”

“Ah, I think I know a thing or two about that,” Jason smiled fondly.

“Thank you, Jason,” you expressed.

“No problem, Sunny,” he grinned, “I’ll call you that from now on. To remind you.”

Jason thought that he saw you blush in the dim light. “So what do you think? Wanna join us for spooky night? I mean, your shadow would even be helpful. It’ll create the spooky ambience we’re all looking for.”

“Is there popcorn?” you grinned.

***

You dumbass, you thought.

The rain had you soaked and shivering.

Jason Todd, you absolute asshole.

The smell of wet dirt was overpowering. Your team stood with you despite your shadow engulfing them in darkness. Roy had his hand on your shoulder.

The white petals stuck to the polished wooden casket as it was lowered into the ground. Your heart had already broke, and you had gone through the stages of breaking down, sobbing uncontrollably, not being able to sleep for a week after they told you the news. Right now, you felt nothing but emptiness.

The casket hit the ground with a dull thud, and you heard the wet footsteps of others leaving the grave. You looked up at the crowd. Dressed in black, you saw some familiar faces. Clark Kent and Diana Prince were with Bruce Wayne, standing in solidarity. A fiery red color caught your eyes, and you saw whom you knew as Starfire. Tall, confident, and radiating with a soft warm glow- everything that you wished you were. She was next to Dick Grayson, and your eyes made contact with blue ones, ones that reminded you of Jason.

Dick gave you a sad smile.

“I heard you’re not going to continue with the Titans anymore,” Dick broke the silence. The rain was still pouring, pounding on the glass window of the car. “Where do I drop you off?”

“East End, along Murphy Avenue,” you replied. You watched two droplets on the window fall down, racing against each other. “I have some boxes left in the Tower, but I don’t feel like seeing them today.”

“Are you going to be okay on your own? You’re not even 18 yet.”

“I’m turning 18 in three months,” you rolled your eyes. “And I already got a job.”

“Oh? That was quick. What job?”

“Private investigator,” you responded, “Lot’s of scandals in Gotham. It’s quite easy to get a job if you’re half decent.”

“Pay well?”

“Well enough.”

Silence again. Dick made a turn.

No word was said until he stopped in front of the apartment complex. Unknown to you, Dick made a mental note to check the apartment out.

“Thanks, Dick.” Something stopped you from leaving the car. Something warm. Ah, it was Dick’s hand on yours.

You looked over and stared into his bright blue eyes. “I’m here for you. Anytime of the day or night. Text me, call me, whatever. You’re not alone.”

It was his expression. The pain and grief and sincerity in his eyes. A hint of desperation, even. By now, your talent for reading people had developed, and you could tell more than just basic emotions. Dick didn’t want you to leave him alone.

Your pulse quickened.

“Would you… Like to come in?” you asked.

Dick was surprised. His eyes darted downwards in a look of… guilt? And then- “No, it’s alright. You said you wanted some alone time. Go settle down first, then maybe you can give me a house tour sometime.”

Then he gave you the grin. Dick Grayson’s charming, heart-stopping grin.

You left the car.

THREE MONTHS AFTER THE DEATH OF JASON TODD

You spent your birthday alone, ignoring the invitations from your ex team members. They all wished you happy birthday, and sent you voice notes of them singing. They said they wished you were there with them, and that they hoped you were well. You replied with a simple thank you.

The apartment you made yours was bare. The walls had no art, and the TV was unplugged. What was the point? Your darkness would have made the art on the walls difficult to see and it was not like you were planning to invite anyone over.

A couple of case files sat neatly on the dining room table, where you did your work. Your name had spread by word of mouth after your first client three months ago, and now you occasionally received texts from unknown numbers, asking for discretion and offering a few hundred dollars a day for a week of work.

Your phone buzzed. It wasn’t an unknown number this time.

Dick had sent you a text. Happy Birthday! Still waiting for that house tour.

You sent a quick thank you and ignored the rest of the message.

SIX MONTHS after the death of Jason Todd

You arrived late on purpose. “Sorry I’m late.”

You sat down in the booth seat opposite Dick and saw the way his eyes lit up when you announced your arrival.

“No worries,” he brushed it off. “Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah,” you grabbed the dirty menu from the table. Anything to fill up the awkwardness you were expecting. “What do you usually have here?”

“Waffles with ice cream.”

“For dinner?”

“Why not?”

Dick Grayson gave you his Dick Grayson Grin.

You told the aging waitress your order- “I’ll have what he’s having.”

“So how have you been doing? You seem quite busy now, since this dinner was postponed to two months later,” he teased.

“My work isn’t exactly nine to five, five days a week,” you replied curtly. You had avoided this dinner on purpose.

“No, no, I get it. Mine is the same,” he said. “It’s good that you have been getting lots of clients lately. You seem to be high in demand now.”

“Yeah, I am, actually,” you smiled softly to yourself, “I didn’t expect for business to move this fast. I’m mostly investigating cheating spouses and party daughters now, though. Hoping to move on to the more serious stuff.”

“Careful,” Dick warned you, frowning slightly, “Try not to get involved with the politics here. It’s messy, and dangerous.”

“I can take care of myself, Dick,” you assured him.

He paused. “Yeah, I noticed,” his expression quickly changed, “You’ve been controlling your shadow.”

Indeed, you have been working on pulling in your shadow while you were out in public, making it seem as normal as possible so you don’t engulf rooms with darkness, especially with your current state of mind.

Soon after Jason died, you found out that your shadow had grown larger and larger, directly linked to your moods. Then you noticed that it shrank when you were concentrating on your cases, leaving the room bright. So you meditated and practiced, day and night, to keep your shadow and your emotions in check. However, it was tiring to constantly shrink it for long periods of time.

“Practice makes perfect,” you replied bitterly.

“Jason used to talk about you all the time, you know?” he suddenly brought up.

This came as a surprise for you.

“Really?” you cocked your head to the side, “What about?”

“Lots of stuff,” Dick elaborated, “But mainly about how to make you feel more welcomed. How to get you to open up. What stuff to talk to you about. He considered you his best-friend.”

You had considered Jason the same. He was the first person you had truly bonded with, but you never knew that Jason had communicated with Dick about you. True enough, he always tried his best to make sure you never felt left out. You felt your throat tightened and gulped.

Your waffles arrived, and Dick immediately dug in.

“He said that he called you something,” he continued in between bites, “Sunny, right? Said it was short for Sunshine.”

You hadn’t heard that in six months.

Dick looked up at you and panic took over his face. “Shit- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry.”

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling down your eyes this time. You quickly wiped them away and stabbed the waffle with your fork.

“No- no, it’s fine,” you insisted, “I just hadn’t heard that name in a while. And I didn’t know he talked to you about me.”

Dick looked at you with concern. “Pretty sure he had a crush on you, with the way he was always talking about you.”

You were pretty sure, too. You could read people well after all.

“What made you choose this diner?” you asked, changing the subject. “We used to come here all the time.”

“Yeah, I haven’t stepped in here since that day,” he avoided saying Jason’s name now.

For the first time since you sat down, you actually studied him, beyond the basic emotions that you instinctively saw in everyone. The slight frown, the dark circles under his eyes, the short chewed up nails, the five o’ clock shadow that was rare for Dick Grayson.

He was grieving alone.

“Whenever Jason faced a problem when he was with us, out in the field, or anything, he would always ask himself- ‘What would Dick Grayson do?’” you told him.

His eyes softened, and you could see tears start to well up too.

“He really looked up to you,” you went on, wanting to give Dick the same comfort he gave you. “His older brother. Though, he kept it quiet. He didn’t want people to notice how much he cared. You know, the whole tough guy act.”

Dick chuckled at that. “But you noticed, of course.”

“Of course,” you smiled fondly at the memory. When asked if his injuries hurt, Jason would always reply with Only when I laugh.

But he accepted the cold compresses and paracetamol you gave him.

12 MONTHS AFTER THE DEATH OF JASON TODD

The camera shutter clicked. You checked the quality of the photo on your digital SLR. Even from across the street and in the darkness of the night, your camera caught the couple entering the motel, hand-in-hand, perfectly. This would be sufficient evidence for your client. The classic case of Cheating Spouse was going to earn you a couple thousand dollars. Frankly, you had considered rejecting the case. You only went for high-profile scandals now. But the client was desperate, and offered a large sum of money for something so easy and simple. It was difficult to refuse.

You contemplated on whether you should go the extra mile to catch them in the act. Or maybe you should just stake out in your car and catch them coming out of the motel. You took pride in how detailed your reports always were, and that was how you managed to build your clientele.

You took a sip of the bad, black coffee, already gone cold.

Peering through the zoom lens, you angled the camera up to the rooms facing the street. The movement you caught, however, was not the lights of a room switching on. Instead, out of the corner of your eye, you saw a shadow hanging about the fire-escape in the narrow alley next to the building. You zoomed in more, and saw a familiar blue and black spandex, white eyes, and a familiar grin.

“Fuck,” you swore to yourself. Of all the places to bump into him.

You had gotten close to him since that dinner. The both of you had been texting regularly, getting to know each other and sharing stories about Jason. It helped you with your grief, and you knew it helped him too. You found out that Dick Grayson was voluntarily very expressive with his emotions, unlike his late younger brother who always needed an extra nudge.

Despite all that, you had been trying your best to avoid Dick for the past few weeks and had been giving him the excuse that you were busy. The truth was, you were scared. You knew how close you were getting to him, and right now you were lonely. So lonely that you were afraid of doing something you would both regret.

Knock, knock, knock. The glass rapped three times.

You looked over at the passenger side and saw that grin. Sighing, you unlocked the door.

“What a nice surprise,” Dick greeted you as he shut the door. “Didn’t think I would see a beautiful lady when I left home tonight.”

You rolled your eyes at his usual flirting. “I’m on a job, Dick.”

“I can see that,” he shamelessly went through your case file that was sitting on the passenger seat before he entered. “I thought you don’t take these cases anymore?”

“The poor guy was desperate, and he offered a lot of money for a simple, menial task,” you explained. “I don’t get why he doesn’t ask someone cheaper. Literally anyone could do this.”

“But they can’t do it as well as you do,” Dick booped your nose with his gloved finger.

“What about you? What brings you to this side of town?”

“Tim needed help with some training. And patrol brings me everywhere, sweetheart,” he smirked.

You noticed that your body had subconsciously turned towards him. His eyes were not visible then, covered by the whites of his mask. He was slightly damp due to the drizzle outside.

You cleared your throat. “I’m going to stake out here until they come out. Note how long they were together.”

“That could be until the sun rises.”

“Yep.”

“Need company?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I thought you needed to patrol, and help Tim.”

“Ah, you’re right,” he sighed dramatically, “I’d much rather be in this steamy car with you, though.”

“Go and help your Robin, Dick,” you chuckled, unable to resist him. “Your mentee needs his mentor, Gotham needs its hero and you’re here cozying up with a PI.”

“How irresponsible of me,” he muttered. You hadn’t realized that both of you had moved closer.

You risked a quick glance to his slightly parted lips before tearing your eyes away. He was right, it had suddenly got steamy in the car.

“Text me when you’re back? It’s dangerous to be alone at this hour,” he said before stepping out and flying off in the most flamboyant, Dick Grayson way.

I can take care of myself.

You took deep breaths to calm down and slow your heartbeat.

Maybe you were scared that you were so lonely. But a part of you knew that starting something with Dick wouldn’t be too bad.

You were just scared of being judged by Dick’s dead, younger brother.

The next weekend, you found yourself on your balcony. It was 3 AM, and you were slightly tipsy from the cocktail you made yourself. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of the wind, the cars, the occasional police siren. You made your decision.

Need you. you texted Dick, knowing he was out on patrol.

15 minutes. he replied.

Jason was dead. There was no one else who understood and accepted you almost as well as Dick did.

You waited out there in the cold for his arrival. When he did land straight on your balcony, his hair was a mess and he was panting slightly. You grabbed his face and kissed him roughly.

It didn’t matter anymore because Jason was dead.

SIX MONTHS AFTER THE ARRIVAL OF RED HOOD.

It was more difficult to control your shadow, but you tried your best. Moving in with Dick helped a bit more as compared to when you were alone, but you were constantly on edge.

He was alive, and what would he think of this? You and Dick? Would he see it as a betrayal?

Dick was having sleepless nights and was gone most of the time to help Bruce with Jason’s tantrum. Six months since Jason had appeared alive, and God knows how long before he crawled out of his grave, but he had not contacted you even once.

And you knew, you knew he was angry at you. That this whole villain arc had at least something to do with you. Even though it didn’t make sense, that you were never together, that you were nothing more than just best friends.

Somehow you felt that the rage and destruction was directed towards you.

For as long as you got together with Dick two years ago, and a whole year of playing cat and mouse with him ever since that kiss, you never had radio silence from him for this long. Two or three days was the maximum, and he would reassure you that everything was fine while you continued on with your PI business. A week long was unheard of.

Then, your phone buzzed.

I’m fine. He’s fine. Everyone’s fine.

You let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you were holding.

Is he back? you asked.

He’s gonna take some time off. Need to go. See you soon.

And so you didn’t sleep until Dick came back home the next morning.

“He’s so… broken,” Dick whispered above your head as he hugged you tightly.

You frowned. You didn’t like that word used to describe Jason. A person couldn’t be broken. People weren’t objects. You knew what Dick meant, that Jason was traumatized- but it didn’t mean that he was broken. Broken meant that you needed to be fixed before someone accepted you, that you needed to be functional or useful.

Broken meant that there was a state where people were whole, and you knew too well that there’s no such thing as a whole person. People just existed in different states, and each state was just as important as the other.

Jason told you all of that when you opened up to him about your past. One day many years ago, you fucked up during a mission. Your shadow had hurt someone a little too badly.

“I don’t even know how it works, Jay,” you had cried, “Sometimes it has a mind of its own and it just reacts outside of my control.”

“You saved me in the end,” Jason tried comforting you, putting his arm around your shoulder as you sat on the carpet of the empty living room.

“But I could have hurt you too,” you argued, “It could have attacked your shadow and killed you, the same way I killed my parents.”

You hadn’t told anyone about that. Only the Justice League knew.

“It was an accident,” Jason insisted.

“I’m just a broken person,” you choked. “No one should be near me.”

That was when he took his arm away and held your shoulders in both his hands, forcing you to face him, to stare into his piercing, fierce gaze.

“Don’t ever let me hear you say that about yourself ever again, got it?” he scolded you, “You are not broken. You’re like- like water. Or air. You exist in different states of matter, and each state you’re in is no less broken than the rest. You’re not broken, okay? You’re Sunny, you’re sunshine. You’re just sunshine…”

NINE MONTHS AFTER THE ARRIVAL OF RED HOOD

“Cheating spouse, undercover at Harvard, cheating spouse again…” you muttered to yourself as you browsed your cases in the living room, illuminated by a single warm light above your head. Dick would complain about the mess in the morning when he eats his cereal.

If he even comes back by tomorrow. you finished your own thought.

The blackmail material requests sounded interesting, but you always hesitated to accept the morally gray ones. You usually would go for missing or runaway children, the evidence of corruption, and the occasional journalist request for an inside scoop.

In fact, your eyes caught one such request. An anonymous journalist from the Gotham Gazelle. You received a text from a disposable two days ago, detailing a locker combination and an address. The contents of the locker were documents within a crisp and new light brown folder- a typical case file, along with a thousand dollars in cash and a promise of another two thousand after completion.

Journalists were not usually this cautious, but if they were investigating someone high profile, it was better to remain anonymous. Especially in Gotham.

You took a sip of your dark roast Arabica coffee, engrossed by what your anonymous client wanted you to get. It was already 11 PM.

Then, you heard the bell ring.

You frowned. Dick wouldn’t ring the bell to his own apartment.

Concentrating on pulling your shadow back, you walked barefoot to the door and looked through the peephole.

Your heartbeat quickened at who you saw standing on the other side of the door.

Calm down, calm down, calm down. Deep breaths.

The door clicked when you unlocked it, and creaked when you pulled it open.

You couldn’t remember when you had stopped counting the amount of days since you saw those piercing blue eyes that were so similar, yet so different from Dicks’. Now they were even more different from what you remembered. They were like battleworn armor standing in an enclosed case.

“There’s my sunshine,” Jason smiled weakly at you.

There was no chance of stopping your tears from falling down your face, so you didn’t even try. You let them flow freely as you speechlessly embraced him and felt his warm arms snake around you. The warmth of an embrace you thought you were never going to feel ever again.

He grew much taller than you. He was 16 when he died, and you were just turning 18. You had stopped growing a year or two before that, but boys kept on growing, didn’t they? He was the same height as you were the last time you saw him, but now he was at least a couple of feet taller. Did that mean he was back long before he started going as Red Hood? What did he do for two and a half years? Who-

“Don’t mean to be rude, but can I come in? I’m freezing my tits off out here,” he said. Even his voice was much, much deeper.

You chuckled and nodded, taking a step away to let him in.

You closed the door behind Jason and watched as he walked in slowly, looking around at Dick’s apartment. You noticed he paused at the dining table where you were working, and then strided to the sofa in the living room before taking a seat. You followed suit and sat next to him, not yet trusting your voice to make a sound.

“So,” he began, “You and Grayson, huh?”

Looking so intently, taking him all in, you almost missed the question.

“You’re bigger than him,” you blurted, before widening your eyes in horror at what you were implying.

Jason raised a scarred eyebrow.

“I mean- you- your build,” you quickly explained, “Your frame. Shoulders. Length. Big.”

“Length?” he smirked.

“Height!” you almost yelled.

Jason leaned closer to you and frowned. “Am I making you nervous?”

You couldn’t bear his piercing eyes, so you looked down at your hands.

“I thought maybe you never wanted to see me again,” you confessed, “I thought maybe you were angry at me, and hated me.”

“I was,” he simply stated.

You looked at him in question.

“Angry at you. For a bit,” he sighed and leaned back against the couch, “But I was angry at everyone. You were no exception. I was just mad everyone had forgotten me. Especially those I cared about.”

“I never forgot you, Jason,” you vowed, “How could I ever?”

“Then why did you-” he cut himself off, “Nevermind. I just wanted to say that I’m not mad anymore. I get it. I was dead, and everyone moved on.”

He crossed his arms and again, you noticed how large his arms were. His face was more mature, jawline more defined and square, eyes now more deep set with extra dark circles underneath them. As if your body had a mind of its own, you reached out to his face and caressed the scar across his cheek.

Jason jumped slightly in surprise at the sudden contact, but then closed his eyes and leaned into your touch.

“You have more scars now,” you pointed out, “What happened?”

You felt his breath down your wrist.

“Another story for another day,” he smiled and opened his eyes. You took your hand away, blushing at how intimate that must have seemed to an onlooker. “Where’s Boy Wonder?”

“No idea,” you shrugged. “You want something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”

“Aw, come on, Sunny!” he got up and walked to the kitchen, “It’s a Welcome Back, Jason party. Where are the fun drinks?”

He started opening your cabinets.

“Wow, make yourself at home, why don’t you?” you shook your head and went to join him.

“Mi casa es su casa,” he sang, “At least, that’s what Grayson told me when he gave me the address. Aha!”

He found the cabinet of liquors. “Wow, I’m quite impressed by his collection.”

“That’s my collection,” you corrected him, “Dick couldn’t tell the difference between tequila and rum even if his life depended on it. I have a variety. What do you feel like?”

“You’re the bartender,” he teased, “Surprise me.”

You nodded and proceeded to make him a drink. Jason sat down at the dining table and nosily looked through your files. That was one thing he and Dick had in common, at least.

You set down a whisky sour for him and yourself before clearing your paperwork to the side, giving him the side eye as you snatched a folder from his hands.

Taking a seat across from him, the both of you dinked glasses together and took a sip.

“Strong,” he commented, “That’s good.”

You accepted the compliment silently.

“So, you don’t know where Grayson’s at?” he inquired.

“Nope,” you replied, “I know he has missions sometimes. Helps out here and there. He’s gone for two or three days before he comes back home with a new bruise or cut. I don’t ask for details unless he starts to tell me about it.”

Your chest made an involuntary squeeze that you tried to hide. There were times when you had asked Dick, and he lied to you. You had arguments over where he was, and who he was with before.

Jason studied your poker face intently, and for a second, you felt as though he was interrogating you.

He took another sip.

“How’s business going?” he changed the subject, “I heard you never went back to the team.”

“I couldn’t,” you answered simply.

“Why not?”

“Everything reminded me of you. It hurt too much.”

A deafening silence. A look of guilt. A looming darkness that grew.

“Business is great, actually,” you went on. “And I enjoy the slower-paced nature of the work.”

“Ugh, even stake outs?” he made a face, not commenting on how your shadow became slightly bigger.

“Stake outs can be nice sometimes,” you argued, “Crank down the window, put the radio on, snack on some fries. Sometimes I read, as well. I’m used to spending long hours by myself.”

“Sounds like you haven’t changed much,” he smiled endearingly at you.

“Not even physically?” you pouted, “I’ve been going to the gym.”

He laughed at that. “Yes, I’ve noticed. You look much more… Mature?”

“Are you saying I look old, Todd?” you huffed.

“So fucking old. A hag.”

You stuck out your tongue at him and laughed together, as if nothing ever changed. As if he never died, as if you never grieved for him and longed for him.

“I’m kidding,” he conceded, “You look good. Really good. Dick’s a lucky guy.”

You frowned at the last comment. “It doesn’t bother you, does it? Me and Dick?”

Another pause. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Jason knew you well, so he knew how to answer you. His statement wasn’t a lie.

You heard the jingle of keys in the distance.

“Speak of the fucking devil,” Jason whispered into his drink before taking a big gulp.

“Honey, I’m ho- oh. Jason, I didn’t expect to find you here,” Dick stood in the doorway, stunned.

“Welcome back, babe,” you walked over and greeted your boyfriend with a kiss. For the first time, Dick looked slightly uncomfortable with your display of affection.

“You guys have been hanging out without me!” Dick whined, his child-like persona immediately taking over.

That was how Dick was. You noticed it after a few times with him, how he would mask his emotions or awkwardness with his happy, warm personality. He was a people person, charming his way anywhere and everywhere regardless of any situation.

Yet, you could see through it all. The grief, the aching fatigue, and the countless battle scars.

“Was just leaving,” Jason announced curtly.

“Ngaw, don’t be like that,” Dick tried to persuade him, “Stay a little while. We can catch up.”

“There’s nothing to catch up on,” Jason insisted, “Bye.”

He glanced once at you, and then left without saying a word.

There was a stark difference between the way he was with you and the way he was with Dick. In the short future, you would come to realize that it wasn’t that he was different with everyone else. Jason treated everyone else with the cold, rough demeanor you witnessed- but never you. You were the only one who knew him as though that Jason never died.

You saw Dick’s shoulders slump in disappointment. “How long was he here for?”

“About an hour?” you answered nonchalantly, going back to your case files.

“He has never spoken to me for more than 15 minutes,” Dick informed you, “Even then he would give non-committal answers.”

“Really?” you asked, frowning to yourself. It took just a little while for the both of you to go back to how things used to be. “Maybe he’s more upset at you since you’re his brother.”

“Nah, don’t think that’s it,” Dick came up behind you and nuzzled his face in your neck. “You smell good. Missed you.”

“Missed you too,” you hummed, “How was… Your mission?”

“Tiring,” he complained, “You choose a case already?”

“Maybe,” you replied, “Who was there?”

You heard Dick gulp. “Donna. Kon. Wally.”

“And?”

“Kori.”

You felt your chest tighten again. “Okay. I’m tired too. I think I’ll go to bed now.”

“You just drank coffee,” he pointed out, “You’re going to sleep now?”

“Or just lie in bed,” you responded, “Seeing Jason was… emotional.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he ran a hand through his dark, wavy hair.

“You coming?”

“I have to patrol,” he looked at you guiltily.

“But you just got back,” you argued.

“They can cover more ground when I’m around,” he explained. “Sorry. I’ll spend time with you tomorrow, okay?”

You smiled at him and reached a hand to press on his chest. He was so committed, and that’s what you loved about him. He really, truly cared.

“Just stay safe,” you gave him a deep kiss, tasting the cola chapstick he stole from you months ago.

“I’ll see you in the morning, darling,” he breathed.

That night you lay awake in bed, staring at darkness. You let your shadow go at night, allowing it to take over the room. A buzz came from your phone all of a sudden. Another unknown number.

You tapped it open.

This is my number if you need me. J.

It had been a while since you smiled whenever you lay alone, unable to sleep.

And how did you get mine?

You didn’t actually care. You were just so happy to be texting your best friend again.

I’m just a genius, Sunny. You staying up late to work?

You contemplated your answer.

No. Just couldn’t sleep. What do you do now, anyway? Do you patrol with the rest?

Sometimes. I mostly do my own thing now.

What thing?

Another story for another time, sunshine.

I’m glad you’re back, Jay. Thank you for seeing me today. Can we hang out soon?

We can hang out whenever you want.

You were typing a reply, but was interrupted by another message from him.

I missed you lots.

I missed you too, Jason. We have to get caught up with all the slumber parties we missed.

Don’t think Grayson would be too happy with that though.

My best friend is back from the dead. He can suck it up.

I’ll see you soon then?

You contemplated again.

What are you doing tomorrow? I got an interesting case. Wanna tag along?

***

Jason’s heart broke when he found out that you were with Dick. It was a large reason why he was so angry, and why he became so destructive. But he tried to stay angry at you, tried to hate you, but he just couldn’t bring himself to. The years without you were lonely, and he tried to fill up the emptiness with rage.

It took him so long after Bruce brought him back to his senses to finally see you because he was practicing. He knew he couldn’t bear to look at you and Dick while you were together, so he practiced controlling his emotions so he wouldn’t snap��and scare you away.

But when you opened the door and he saw your face for the first time in years, everything dissipated. He didn’t need to control any anger because all he felt was longing. It didn’t matter if you were in love with Dick, all that mattered was that you were there next to him.

“Okay, so,” you began as you pulled the car to a stop in a street at Diamond District. “Rupert Thorne.”

“The guy who is running for mayor?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, browsing through the documents, “He allegedly backed Hill in the previous elections, but now he is running against Hill. My client wants me to find evidence of corruption and find out who his sponsors are.”

Jason saw the way your brows stitched together as you read through the file.

It was difficult to be in the same car as you. Even though he was in the passenger seat, he felt like it was a small closet, being suffocated by your demanding presence.

“Why doesn’t he sponsor himself? Isn’t he some sort of closeted crime lord too?” Jason asked.

“I guess that’s the mystery,” you hummed, “He must have been promised something, or he must have promised something- if he wins.”

You smelled like warm cinnamon and vanilla. All Jason wanted to do was to bury his face in your neck and breathe you in. The pull he felt towards you was almost physical. He needed to stop himself from touching you, from claiming you.

“So what’s the first step?” he tried to focus on the case.

“He works in that building there,” you looked outside across the street to the tall mirrored tower. “COO of Trident Shipping Company. He’s doing quite well in popularity lately… Articles say he is modest and humble, charming, thoughtful, charitable… The list goes on. Must have a great PR team.”

Jason smiled to himself. You were starting to think out loud, a habit of yours he noticed one night during a strategy meeting with the team. So many years ago.

“Anyway, we want to see where he goes, who he meets, what he does-”

“Oh no,” Jason groaned, “You scammed me into a stakeout!”

He really didn’t mind if it meant spending long hours with you in your cozy car.

“It’ll be fun!” you tried to convince him, “We can catch up in the meantime! Plus, I do also need to bug his phone. Might need your help with that. I also have some metka, so maybe we can pollinate some lead suspects once we narrow them down and-”

“Woah, woah, woah, hold up,” Jason started chuckling in disbelief, “First of all- one step at a time, please. Let’s make a structured flowchart first before you start rambling off fifty-seven steps ahead. Second of all- metka, are you fucking with me right now? How did you get your hands on Soviet Cold War tech?”

Metka or spy dust- chemically known as nitrophenyl pentadienal or NPPD- was an old and outdated, yet still effective, Russian method of marking or tagging suspected CIA agents during the Cold War by the KGB. It was a discreet powder that stuck to everything. They would tag the agents at the airport, and then anything the agent touched would have traces of the dust. Including Russian assets- spies or informants working for the CIA. They would be able to identify the traitors.

“I’m a PI,” you said smugly, “I’m resourceful.”

Yes, you were. Jason beamed proudly at you. But he said, “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, how about the bug?”

“I have this-” you rummaged through your messenger bag and took out a small silver card the size of a hotel matchbox. It had the Bat sigil.

“So I assume you have Batman’s NFC card because you’re resourceful?” Jason teased. He knew the gadget well. The near field communication device allowed hijacking into another electronic device with NFC just by near contact. It could allow for cloning the device, or installing spyware.

You stuck your tongue at him childishly.

“I wonder what Batman would think of you stealing his gadgets for personal use,” Jason jested.

“Okay, I borrowed it from DIck, and it’s not like I’m using it for personal reasons. This is a highly professional operation,” you huffed, “Anyway, if you could let me finish telling you my plan. It says that Thorne is into French girls and he usually comes out for a smoke break around this time.”

“And?”

“I will be bumping into him. The NFC needs about 30 seconds of contact. I’ll slip the card in the pocket where he keeps his phone. But in case I can’t stick around to take it out, you will have to come walking behind me to pickpocket it from him.”

“Sounds good. What if he’s using his phone?”

“I’ll bump it out of his hand and apologize profusely,” you grinned. “Okay I need to get ready.”

You unbuttoned your weathered leather jacket to reveal a white top with a low neckline, giving Jason a good view of your cleavage.

“Uhhh,” he started awkwardly.

You ignored him and looked in the mirror, smearing lipstick on your lips and smacking them. Then, you ruffled your hair to give it more volume before turning to face him with a “How do I look?”

The red you chose for your lipstick matched your skin tone perfectly. And he never noticed you had a tiny cute mole on the top of your left breast. The way your hair was effortlessly messy made Jason imagine that was how you would look like in the mornings, or when he takes a handful of it while kissing you rough-

“G-great,” he complimented weakly.

If he hadn’t already died, then you were going to be the death of him.

“Oh shit, there he is,” you opened the car. “Quick, hang around a few feet behind me.”

Jason saw you strut as you approached Thorne. He was tall and handsome, and looked good for a man his age. Jason could tell that his suit was expensive. His coat was probably cashmere. He could see why Thorne was so popular. He definitely looked the part. He was talking on his phone, and he was now curious as to what you had in mind.

From down the block and in the crowd, Jason saw you pretend to talk on your phone in perfect French, rushing somewhere unknown. He didn’t notice the cup you were carrying before.

“Ah, putain! I am zo zorr’y, Monsieur!” you bumped hard into Thorne, spilling liquid all over his coat and yourself.

Thorne looked surprised, and then pocketed his phone in his coat. “It’s quite alright.”

“No, no, pleez. Let me ‘elp you,” you made a fuss. You took out a handkerchief from your bag and simultaneously shrugged off your jacket. Jason smirked to himself. No hot-blooded male would be able to resist the sight of you in a wet white low neckline t-shirt.

“Let me pay for your dry cleaning,” you worried, “Oh, putain it speeled down here too.”

You got on your knees and started dabbing the hem of his coat.

“You really don’t have to do that,” Thorne smiled and held your shoulder in a gesture to help you up.

“I am really zo zorr’y,” you looked up at him.

A flash of lust sparked Thornes’ eyes, and Jason knew you were batting your eyelashes at him from that angle. It made him want to punch Thorne square in the jaw.

“It’s really alright, madam,” he insisted, “It was my fault for standing in the middle of a busy pedestrian walkway.”

“I should ‘ave watched where I was walking,” you bit your lip and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Well, let’s just both move on from this. Please don’t worry, I can get my assistants to get me another coat,” he rested his hand on your lower back as he walked you towards the street. “Here is my business card. Feel free to contact me if you need any help navigating the city. I would love to show you all the fine restaurants in Gotham.”

“Monsieur, you are too kind,” you pouted.

“I should thank you for bumping into me,” he winked, “It’s not everyday I get to see a beautiful lady.”

You pretended to blush.

“I have to go now,” he announced, “Please give me a call.”

And with that, he entered the building.

You walked towards Jason with the look of a kid who scored his first goal.

But then, facing him now, Jason swore under his breath. No wonder you managed to bewitch Thorne so easily.

Your shirt was practically see through, and everyone was turning their heads at you. He could see your black lacy bra, and how your tits bounced as you jogged towards him.

“Hells to the yes!” you celebrated, “That was more than thirty seconds. I got the card back and- what are you doing?”

Jason had grabbed your jacket and forcefully put it over your shoulders. “Let’s hurry back to the car.”

Yeah, you were going to be the death of him.

[navree]

still on this, THE THING IS the bones of this aren't even actually that bad.

bruce has done something horrendous, something objectively heinous, to his child, and to his child who has already suffered so egregiously in such a short lifespan (until they start letting dick grayson be a man in his thirties jason cannot be older than early twenties, like, college age early twenties, at max he's only barely legally allowed to drink). and he has the perfect out he could use if he wanted to deflect responsibility, it was zur, it wasn't really him, so he cannot really be faulted for what he's done. but he doesn't take it, he chooses the hard path but the right path, and takes responsibility. he acknowledges that even if he wasn't in his right mind, it was still him, a version of him anyway, that did something really, really bad to someone he's sworn to love and protect and who did not deserve anything like that. bruce taking the ownership for his shitty decisions rather than trying to find the loophole, that's good. and it can even work with jason attempting to brush it off, like i mentioned before, jason is canonically a forgiving person who does not prioritize himself, and will continuously turn the other cheek to those who hurt him if they happen to be people he loves. i can absolutely see jason trying to give bruce that out (though not with that fucking therapy speak bullshit, jason todd has never been to therapy because people with healthy coping mechanisms don't create the fucking red hood plan at the big age of sixteen).

the thing is, the thing that could have made this good but didn't because instead they decided to continue making this story shitty from start to finish, is that bruce can't take it. it's good that bruce is owning what happened and bearing the responsibility and referring to it as "what i did to you" rather than passing it off in a bid to get jason to move on. and it can work that jason would try to go "it's fine it wasn't really you" about it. but you lose any good when bruce agrees with him and just goes "yeah you're right. anyway!" what's the point of bruce taking responsibility for a horrific deed in a symbol of growth (and we know it's supposed to be about growth because he prefaces it with talking about how his kids are his family and he needs to acknowledge that to them and let them know what they mean to him) if it's immediately smoothed over? it's utterly meaningless, he might as well have just told jason that he can't be blamed and jason could have just nodded and agreed. the bones were there but then ya fucked it, it literally doesn't mean anything at all. it's the narrative equivalent of going "i have a lit stick of dynamite" only for someone to immediately pour water on it. it has no impact now and it loses any catharsis for the readers, let alone deflating that emotional beat in narrative and making everything just seem stupid. even if jason attempts forgiveness, it doesn't work if bruce accepts it. he needed to say that even if jason is trying to absolve him, he still did it, he still needs to own up to it, jason is still entitled to whatever feelings about it, and he still needs to fix it along with actively working for a redemption and acknowledging his responsibility in that regard. not just go "yeah you're right it's in the past hakuna matata never gonna blame myself for my own shortcomings ever again" and promptly move on to more bullshit.

and like, you're nerfing your own ability to write good stories in the future! for one, it's good if bruce grows from this whole debacle, and does consistently put effort for future issues into not just reminding himself he needs to acknowledge his family, but that he can't take the easy way out and he needs to own up to things even when they were done when he wasn't totally himself. for two, you could have a story where bruce doesn't just have to atone, he has to actually fix his mistake. jason's got this chip in him, bruce has acknowledged that this is something HE did and needs to take responsibility for, have him be the one to fix it! have him be the one to try and find a solution, a way to undo it or nerf it or get it out. have him work to fix this issue that he caused, have him be the one to attempt to mend it and do right by someone he did wrong.

not to mention, it can work from a narrative perspective. batman is a detective, have the search for a cure/fix/whatever be a detective story. false leads, dead ends, red herrings, clues that need to be uncovered, new twists and turns. and for another thing, it works to have bruce try to right a wrong he did to jason specifically. bruce's big failure, in his mind, his greatest unforgivable sin, is that he did not save jason. that jason needed his help and bruce failed him, bruce wasn't there. so it makes sense that, when given the opportunity to make up for that in a way, to be there when he's needed, to help him when he needs it, to essentially make it in time in a way he couldn't on the day jason died, of course he'd throw himself into it with 110%. of course he'd decide that, this time, he won't fail. jason is hurting and in need of help because of him but this time it won't end in the worst way imaginable. this time, bruce is gonna fix it. it would make for great storytelling, and good character moments for bruce AS a character.

but i never get the things i want so instead i got some decent legs to build on that were immediately hacked out from under me in the same fucking panel and the chip thing is likely gonna be solved off-page without any real introspection into bruce doing this really horrible thing to jason or growing from his fuckups or growing in his relationship with jason or jason dealing with this and the two of them actually putting in some work to come back together strong than ever and build a new, better baseline as bruce accepts accountability and jason offers forgiveness once it's earned, for once in his life. and this entire plotline will literally never be brought up again except to explain why tim has a clone-damian suit that looks ugly as shit.

[igotanidea]

It's over: Jason Todd x f!reader

Summary: Jason was dead. Or, well, at least that what Y/N believed. After all, she saw his body, she attended his funeral. And she was hurting for so long. It took her almost two years to get back into sort of normality. And then, then she found out he was alive all this time......

And only because he showed up at her door......

Warnings: hell lot of cussing, angst to the nth degree, a bit of kissing and touching (nothing explicit though), possible crying coming, Taylor Swift quotation.

Based on: "If I ever" by Conor Maynard

A/N: before this, I got a request from an angst lover (story is here: Lost), whoever you are, I dedicate this one's to you.

„Is this a joke?!”

„Y/N…..”

“Is this a fucking joke?!”

“Please, just calm down.”

“Fuck off! You don’t get to tell me what to do!! Not after, after…..” she was slowly breaking in her anger, reality creeping in, draining all the power she had. Her legs gave up on her and she just slid down the wall onto the floor, her limbs laying loose, boneless, eyes wide open while she was processing the situation she just found herself in.

Poor girl. Y/N was an old friend of Jason Todd. They met before he got adopted by Bruce and become Robin. Both Y/N and Jason were raised in Crime Alley and get to know each other from getting in and out of common trouble. When Bruce came in, Jason made sure he took care of his friend as well and that was how she ended up in Wayne Manor, learning about the technology and surveillance and soon becoming the “man, or rather woman in the chair”. Their story was classical “friends to lovers” trope, only ending with them becoming a couple due to Dick’s foul mouth. One time he mentioned something about Jason catching feelings and Y/n, being her direct and straightforward self, confronted the boy about it. After a while of blushing and sweating he finally confessed and they became a couple. And despite everything, the temper tantrums and insecurities they worked through it. Robin and his right wing. They were good together. Until Jason decided to go against Joker.  And got killed. And left her completely alone, or at least that was how she felt at that moment. She could not leave the past behind, desperately holding to the little pieces of memories she had of him, of them. Dick, Tim and Damian did their best to make her get through but she was too stubborn for her own good. It took her 23 months to start slowly healing her heart. And just as she was ready to get out of the house and start living again, maybe getting back to her own position in batfamily, she learned that Jason death was…. temporary and he was in fact alive, and  running around as Red Hood. That was a kick in the teeth. But what was even worse was that one afternoon she found him inside her apartment, placed on the couch with remorseful expression, ready to beg for forgiveness and to crawl back into her freshly –patched up life.  Of course, the moment she saw him inside she wanted to throw him out the window but due to all his muscles and height it was not possible so instead she resorted to verbal anger, trying to hide the mix of emotions – pain, fear, relief, love…. Way too much for one person, so finally she just went silent not capable of dealing with it all.

“Y/N…. Please, say something. Baby…..”

“What did you just call me?!”

“I’m sorry.” He said and she was not exactly sure whether he was sorry for pretending to be dead for the last years or for using her pet name only to his advantage.

“You don’t…. you don’t….” she sobbed desperately and it took all his power not to scoop her in his arms at once, shielding her from the world, making her safe. He wanted to spare her the pain, but the sad truth was that he was the one to cause all of it and upon realizing his grand mistake his heart broke into million pieces. Perhaps even more than hers.

“Y/n…..” Jason tried once again, his hand reaching for hers, but the girl just yanked it away, hugging herself. All the shock she just went through by seeing her ­not-so-dead  dead boyfriend making all her body tremble from the sudden coldness.

“Don’t. Just…. Just don’t.“ she managed to say “I can’t do this again. I just can’t. Please, get out.”

“You know I can’t do that” he whispered closing his eyes in poor attempt to hide all the pain he held inside. His voice, however, gave him away.

“You had no problem with that when you pretended to be six feet under!”

“I wanted to protect you!” he screamed

“From what?!” she yelled back pretty sure her neighbors had perfect acoustic to hear the banter.

“From being hurt! From getting injured because of me! You know damn fucking well how many people were after me while I was still Robin!”

“Well, look where It got you…..Red Hood.” she said barely audible “Are you happy now? Knowing that you broke my heart? Knowing that you broke me. I cried for days for you, Jason. DAYS. I mourned you. I avoided Dick, Tim and Damian for weeks because every time they started the family drama it reminded me of you….”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, sorry does not make it any better, does it?” she lowered her gaze looking at the floor “and you know what’s the worst thing in all of that?”

“I….”

“I never, never, stopped loving you. Fuck! I could not get into a relationship with anyone even if I wanted a rebound. It was always your face I was seeing, it was always your smile, it was always you” his eyes widened at those words and their gazes met for a second. It was as if a spark flew between them lighting up their inside and making both of them get lost in each other’s eyes. Just like the first time they confessed to being in love.  Neither Y/n, not Jason turned away, and she did not stop him when he slowly leaned forward capturing her lips in his, pulling her onto his lap, closer, he wanted her closer. God, how he missed her, her skin, her warmth, her soft hands sneaking up his chest into his hair playing with the ends. He groaned tightening the grip to the point where she squealed from the long forgotten pain of his strong embrace, but he couldn't care less deepening the kiss, wanting more and more and more…..

He did not get much affection since he became Red Hood and even then, no one could ever compare to her and her gentle touch, the feel of her lips on his, her body against his. She was his one and only. She belonged with him. They were perfect. And then he had to go and fuck this up. Memories of them together just flooded him. All the nights she was spending at the manor waiting for the batboys to come back from the patrol and then checking on all of his injuries to the detriment of her own health.  All those nights she was falling asleep in his arms, feeling safe and loved. All those nights that the only thing that kept him going through all the fights was the thought of her and the knowledge of the comfort and tenderness her presence brought him.  Her acceptance no matter what he did and how bloody he got. All those mornings when they get to steal some time away from his vigilantism and just cuddle in bed, holding tight onto each other like they were one another’s lifeline.  Fuck! He loved when the first thing he saw after waking up was her beautiful face and peacefully sleeping form.  He missed her body, all those curves and stretch marks she hated so much. All those little imperfections of her skin he get to kiss and worship every time she got insecure. All the pleasure he was giving her, while just loving her for hours, never getting enough of her sweat moans and the way she reacted to his touch. Her smile, her laugh, her sense of humor, her brain, her intelligence….. All of her.

He wanted her. There could never be a time when he wouldn’t want her. His fingers started absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt and that made her pull away from him and stand up.

“Please…. “ he whined not wanting to let go.

“You need to go, Jason.” she stated simply

“Please, I….. I can make this right…. I’m begging you.  Don’t leave me like this.”

“How can you possibly make this right?” tears was flowing down her cheeks as with every other word she was taking a step away from him “you can’t. It’s too late.”

“But I love you.”

“I know.”

“So let me make this right.” He insisted, trying to convince her.

“No.” she shook her head turning her back to him “I’ll let you in and you will let me down…… How do I know I can trust you?

“You can. Baby, please….”

“Go away, Jason.” her eyes were everywhere but on him, she knew the expression in them would make her give in and she just couldn't do that.

“Do you want me to get on my knees? Fine.” He fell down next to her legs “I’m begging you, don’t do this.”

“Well one of us has to be strong.”

“I can be strong for both of us in believing we can get through this.”

“No.”

“Baby…”

“Stop calling me that! I’m not your baby! Not anymore! Why can’t you understand?! It’s fucking over, Jason! I don’t want to see you again!”

“You…. you don’t mean that…..”

“I sure as hell do. I’ve barely covered all the scars you left and you chose just this moment to show up in my life again! I took a detour from my way to work just to avoid our places! I’ve been through enough! I. Don’t. Want. You.” she poked at his hard chest and he just couldn’t stop himself from grabbing her waist and connecting their lips once again pulling her body closer than possible, moving his lips from her mouth to her jaw and neck, finding that one spot that made her moan softly and his blood boiled at the sound. He needed her. He needed her that exact moment. And he knew she needed and wanted him too. Maybe if he could just convince her, show her what she was missing during that years….. Surely, she did not forget all the things they did when no one was around.

“Y/n…..” he groaned against her skin “let me apologize properly. Let me love you……” his hand brushed over her breasts. “Let me remind you how good we are together….”

"Jay....." she moaned, her walls and tough attitude crumbling.

"I'm here baby. I'm here. Feel me...." he grabbed her hands placing them on his fast beating heart, while at the same time lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist.

Oh, she felt everything at once. His kisses, his touch were too much and not enough at the same time.  His palms were burning against her skin yet she felt so cold, like the clothes were an obstacle in getting what she craved so desperately. Him. It was both wrong and so, so right. It was horrifying and beautiful, real and unreal. She wanted more and yet, she should not…. All those contradictions made her dizzy and her head spinning.  

“I should have known….” much to his surprise she sobbed and punched his chest, possibly hurting herself more than him but also making him stop in result “you just came here because you need a good fuck. I mean nothing more to you.”

“That is not true….. You know you mean everything to me." he put her on the ground "Everything! I care about you, always did. When I had no one, even in this stupid family Bruce decided to create, you were always there for me. It’s more than just physical, you know we had, have, a connection.”

Oh, she knew it. She knew it well enough, they were linked on so many different emotional levels. And she knew aiming at this was her last resort  to make him leave.

“Jason.”

“What can I do, babe?”

“You can turn around and walk out the door.”

“Is that what you really want? You want us to be strangers now? You will go over to the other side when you see me on the street? Is that how you want to play? Huh?! Answer me!” out of desperation he gripped her shoulders with much more strengths than intended “I’m sorry. Oh shit, god, love I’m so sorry” he mumbled in guilt letting go, realizing that if he ever had any chance to convince her to trust him again it was now buried. She flinched and slouched, so fragile and delicate and apparently, no longer his to protect and comfort.

“Band aids don’t fix bullet holes. “ she said and he froze on the spot. Fuck, if she was quoting Taylor on him it was really, really bad “you say sorry just for show. You know how the song go, don’t you? We got bad blood. Leave.” Her voice was now ice cold, her face blank.

“No.”

“Just fucking leave!” she grabbed the nearest item (which happened to be a book he used to read to her, while she was drifting off in his embrace on particularly rough evenings, after all day of work) and threw it at him. He caught it, gently stroking the cover and straightening the pages.

“Fine. Fine! I’ll go! Whatever you fucking want!” he turned around on the heels, tears in his eyes threatening to spill and walked out the door, shutting it loudly behind.  Only now he wrapped his head around the fact it was truly over. He fucked up for good and there was no way back. She would never forgive him and he would never get a chance to hold her, kiss her, talk to her and bond over silly, little things.

“Y/n….” he whispered softly, lovingly, still longing for her as he rested his head on the outer side of the door. “I’m so fucking sorry.” That dull ache in his chest tearing him apart. He just wanted to make things right and ended up tossed away, again .…

Little did he know, that inside the apartment the girl, whose heart he broke twice was laying on the bed sobbing and holding tight onto the plushie he won for her at the fair so many years ago.

“Jay….” She cried silently, not able to calm down without his arms wrapped tightly around her, his warmth lulling her to sleep. He didn’t deserve this. But then, neither did she….

He opened the wound and this time she was not sure if she could recover again. But one thing she knew for sure. It was over. The question was, how long will it take to deal with the pain this time.      

[roseworth]

You are both an Arrowfamily and Jason Todd fan account so I thought you would be the best person to ask this but: What do you think the Arrowfamily members opinion on Jason are?

ooooh i love this question.. i think a lot of people jump straight to "they would hate him" because of his fight with mia but!!! i don't think thats entirely true!!!!! some of them would hate him but not all of them </3 i feel like the people that claim they would all hate him have a fundamental misunderstanding of the arrows and what they stand for, not to mention deliberately misconstruing what the the jason & mia fight actually was and pretending it was a lot worse than what actually happened. but thats just my opinion

ollie absolutely would hate him though lmao. he would never get over the fact that jason kidnapped, fought, & tried to blow up his daughter. no forgiveness ever. if jason HADNT fought mia though i think ollie would like him or at the very least tolerate him. ollie very clearly has no issue with murdering bad guys (as seen in ga88) and would be completely on board with anyone who goes out of his way to fuck with batman constantly <3 also in my humble opinion ollie shouldve been a cosmic mistake in countdown due to him coming back to life because parallax put him back together, which would have been hilarious and would absolutely have ended in them getting along (until jason goes through like his fifth breakdown in that book, because he would absolutely lash out at ollie after watching that one version of bruce die. but thats a whole separate tangent)

dinah also would hate him for trying to kill mia, but probably not as intensely as ollie. but even without that issue i dont think dinah would like him, mostly because hes the worst and i dont think dinah would have the patience to put up with him. she wouldnt have a huge problem with the killing (she wouldnt NOT have a problem with it but i really dont think it would be an unforgivable issue for her), but she would just think hes kind of an asshole about it and she wouldnt like him at all. i also think theres a panel somewhere where jason says that dinah told him she hates him personally?? idk ive only seen screenshots of it but i think its funny so im incorporating it into my belief system

with roy... i feel like there are so many people that see rhato and swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and say that roy would hate jason but i dont think thats true at all. im a rhato hater because that is Not Roy so we're disregarding that, but i still think they would get along tbh! given that roy is deeply in love with a serial killer i think that the people who say he would hate jason are misunderstanding who roy is. i think when theyre both in character they actually have personalities that would mesh well together and they COULD get along really well. i dont see roy having a Big Problem with jason killing people (he would try to stop him from doing it but murder wouldnt be a dealbreaker for roy) so i think its fair to say they would actually get along!!! but i bitch and complain every time they show up in the same panel because now the damage has been done from rhato so i dont want them to interact in canon. only in the secret world in my head. in regards to jason fighting mia, i dont know how to say it but,,, i dont think roy would have a huge issue with it. he certainly wouldnt be happy about it but also he wasnt there so i feel like all he would know about it was that jason kidnapped mia one time but mia was fine. honestly i think that he would be more interested in brothers in blood bc dick would def mention that jason murdered people in a nightwing costume then turned into a tentacle monster and tried to eat someone but dick forgave him anyway. and once he hears that suddenly the mia thing seems inconsequential in comparison

with connor... i cant lie im a little biased because connor is a member of my dream outlaws team but i really think they would at least kind of get along! connor is not the type of person to hold a grudge at all so once mia forgives him (which ill get into in a sec) connor wouldnt have a problem with him. he WOULD have a problem with jason killing people but he's close with eddie so clearly he doesnt have that much of an issue with working with people who have killed before as long as they dont kill in front of him. and i think that jason has a healthy respect for anyone who can beat him in a fight and because of that he would not kill anyone when hes around connor. i also think that connor and jason would never fight because connor would never throw the first punch and jason would never start a fight that he knows he cant win (but thats once again a whole separate tangent). basically i dont think they'd be besties or anything, i dont think theres a world where they'd ever even consider themselves friends. but i do think they'd get along well enough to not hate each other

okay now finally mia. kind of a controversial take but i really think she'd forgive him for kidnapping her! she absolutely would not forgive him IMMEDIATELY because it fucked her up so she would be pissed about it for a while, but also? i think she completely understood what he was trying to do. he wasnt really hurting her specifically (like yeah he hurt her but he made it a fair fight and he wasnt beating down on her or anything. she also hit him so it evens out) and he was actually trying to talk TO her and relate to her. and it was working!!! he didnt force her to do anything except fight (in a fight where he untied her and gave her her weapons), so once she got some distance from the event i think she'd forgive him. it would take a while for her to actually forgive him enough for them to actually get along, but i genuinely think they would. theyre extremely similar people and i think they would really be good friends if given the chance, but it would take a looooong time for mia to be comfortable enough to be around him enough to consider him a friend since the fight definitely fucked her up. but it is possible for them to eventually be close, and i think they could be really good friends

honorable mentions: - i dont know emiko well enough to know for sure (i havent read new52 or rebirth green arrow so i havent read much with her </3) but from what i know i think they would get along - lian would have no opinion of him whatsoever. at most she sees him as her uncle's brother. i truly dont think she'd care enough about him to form a positive or negative opinion about him - i dont like sienna so i dont want to acknowledge her but for the sake of the post. she doesnt like jason because dinah doesnt like jason and she says "i hate everyone that black canary hates <3" - cissie is not a member of the arrowfamily but she wouldnt like him because she absolutely would have an issue with any murderous vigilante given that she almost killed someone one time and had a huge breakdown, so anyone that kills people for the Greater Good and continues to do so would not sit right with her - i have absolutely no basis for this but shado would hate him for no reason. no specific beef with him about his morals or his actions, she just wouldnt like his vibes. sorry to talk about rose (no im not) but she would see rose hanging out with jason and go "im so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious" - eddie and jason would get along like a housefire. there is not a doubt in my mind that they would bond instantly (ok not instantly because they both hate everyone and would probably start with trying fight each other. THEN they would bond) and it would be catastrophic for everyone involved 🫶

ok i think thats everyone. or at least everyone that matters. never forget that all my opinions are 100% correct at all times

[dc-and-arfrona]

Dried Tears

----

Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Summary: Jason makes you cry.

Type: Angst

Masterlist

Word Count: 900+

----

Jason Todd stood in the dimly lit room, his gaze fixed on the person who sat across from him. They had been engaged in a heated argument, words flying like daggers between them. Emotions ran high, tensions mounting with each passing second.

It wasn't Jason's intention to make them cry. In fact, he despised the thought of causing them pain. But in the heat of the moment, his anger and frustration got the best of him, and his words cut deeper than he had anticipated.

As the argument reached its peak, a single tear trickled down their cheek, their eyes glistening with hurt and sadness. It was a sight that struck Jason like a lightning bolt, instantly shattering his anger and replacing it with an overwhelming sense of regret.

Time seemed to stand still as Jason witnessed the impact of his words on them. His heart sank, guilt washing over him like a tidal wave. He had always prided himself on being protective, caring, and understanding. But in that moment, he had failed.

Without a second thought, Jason closed the distance between them, dropping to his knees in front of them. He reached out, gently wiping away the tear that stained their face, his touch filled with tenderness and remorse.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice laced with genuine regret. "I never meant to hurt you. I let my anger get the best of me, and I crossed a line. Please forgive me."

They looked into Jason's eyes, their expression a mix of vulnerability and uncertainty. They could see the sincerity in his gaze, the raw remorse etched on his face. They knew that Jason was flawed, like everyone else, but they also saw the goodness within him.

Tentatively, they nodded, their voice barely above a whisper. "I... I forgive you, Jason. But please, remember that words can leave lasting wounds."

Jason nodded, his grip tightening ever so slightly on their hand. "I promise," he said, his voice filled with determination. "I'll learn from this. I never want to see you hurt like this again."

From that moment on, Jason made a vow to himself to be more mindful of his words and actions. He understood that his temper could be a double-edged sword, capable of both protecting and hurting those he cared about. He was determined to harness his emotions in a way that would uplift and support them, rather than tear them down.

In the days and weeks that followed, Jason worked hard to mend the wounds he had unintentionally inflicted. He showered them with acts of kindness, love, and understanding. He listened to their fears, their insecurities, and their dreams, offering a steady presence and unwavering support.

Slowly but surely, their tears began to dry, replaced by smiles, laughter, and a renewed sense of trust. Their bond grew stronger, forged in the fire of their shared experiences and the lessons learned from their darkest moment.

Together, they navigated the complexities of their relationship, learning to communicate openly and honestly, embracing both the joys and the challenges that came their way. And through it all, Jason remained steadfast in his commitment to never make them cry again, cherishing their love and vowing to protect their heart at all costs.

"Jason, I... I can't believe you said those things," they choked out, their voice trembling with a mix of hurt and anger.

"I know, and I deeply regret it. I can't apologize enough," Jason replied, his voice filled with remorse. "I never wanted to see you in pain, especially not because of me."

"But why, Jason? Why did you let your anger consume you like that?" they asked, their voice filled with confusion.

"I wish I had an excuse, but the truth is, I lost control. I let my frustrations cloud my judgment, and I lashed out at you," Jason admitted, his voice heavy with guilt. "I'm working on my temper, but I have no excuse for what I said."

"I thought you understood me, Jason. I thought you knew how much your words could hurt," they said, their voice tinged with disappointment.

"You're right, and that's what makes this even worse. I should have known better, and I failed you," Jason replied, his voice strained with emotion. "I promise, from this moment on, I'll do everything in my power to make it up to you."

"But can I trust you, Jason? Can I trust that this won't happen again?" they asked, their vulnerability evident in their voice.

"I understand your doubts, and all I can do is show you through my actions. I'll prove to you that I'm capable of change," Jason declared, determination seeping into his words. "I love you, and I never want to see you hurt. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."

Silence hung in the air for a moment as they contemplated his words. They looked into Jason's eyes, searching for sincerity, for a glimmer of hope. Slowly, they nodded, their voice softening.

"I want to believe you, Jason. I want to give us another chance," they said, their voice filled with cautious optimism. "But know that trust takes time to rebuild."

"I understand, and I'm willing to put in the effort," Jason affirmed, gratitude lacing his words. "Thank you for giving me another chance. I won't let you down."

And so, their journey towards healing and rebuilding began, one conversation at a time. Jason was determined to prove himself, to become a better person for them. Through open dialogue, sincere apologies, and a commitment to growth, they started the process of healing their wounded hearts and rekindling the love that had brought them together.

[ahfrickenfrick]

buzzfeed unsolved: The disappearance of Jason Todd

Ryan

Shane

—

This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we will be discussing the disappearance of Jason Todd-Wayne, which has had updates as recently as last week.

Wait last week? Ryan, if we disappear because of this episode imagine how cool it would be. Maybe we hang with our good pal Jason.

I don’t have time for you being stupid. I have to get this right, because let me be honest. I have a man crush on Bruce Wayne, and if he ends up watching this and you’re being stupid I’ll never forgive you.

Okay, sure. Cause Bruce Wayne is searching the internet for every little thing posted about his dead son.

(wheeze)

We don’t know if he’s dead! And that’s what I’m here to talk about today.

-

Jason Peter Todd was born August 16th, 2000 in Gotham City, New Jersey, to his mother Dr. Sheila Haywood and his father Willis Todd. However only a few months later did Willis Todd marry Catherine Johnson, forcing Dr. Haywood to have to relinquish custody.

If I ever have a kid-

-they would all have your big head and I’d feel sorry for them.

Ryan. I listen to you ramble about murderers and ghosts. Let me tell my spiel.

(wheeze)

Right, sorry.

If I ever have a kid with someone, I think I’d be really upset if they just kinda made me give my kid to a stranger.

Here’s the thing to that! No one has heard or seen from Dr. Sheila Haywood since, like after her son was born. The only thing that might link back to her is an illegal botched surgery, but most of it was sealed off, and I don’t feel like having the Gotham City Police Department call me up

(ring ring)

Hi yes, are you that idiot from that show? You will be arrested immediately! Batman and his group of… misfits?? I don’t know, but they are on their way!

Moving on from your weird role play, like all the families that live in Park Row, what is deemed “Crime Alley”, the Todd family did not have money.

You could not pay me to go to a place called Crime Alley.

We were actually going to Gotham, scope around, maybe get a selfie with Robin-

-Which one?

I need to do an episode trying to figure out how many Robin’s there actually are… I think there have been five?? Six?? I don’t know… stop distracting me with Batman! We ended up scraping the visitation part because apparently this time of year Arkham breakouts are common, and I don’t want to get fear gassed.

-

Jason did decent at school, until he stopped showing up, school records are really spotty after third grade. Apparently he was reading and understanding college level stuff, but that’s really all we got on it.

Not a lot on this guys younger life it looks like.

No there isn’t, not any social media posts, or news articles, or anything if that sort about Jason until a few years later in 2012, when Jason became the ward to the one and only, Bruce Wayne.

Ah, Bruce Wayne, you love him, I love him, uhm- I actually don’t know much about Bruce Wayne other than the fact he’s one of the few rich people who give away a shit ton of money.

Bruce Wayne is a billionaire CEO, with a heart of gold, and some say he sleeps around, but as long as he’s not hurting anyone. Also! He’s a dad! Bruce Wayne is a trusted person within the Foster Care over in Gotham. He takes in the extreme cases that would probably leave the kid with a bunch of trauma.

Well, with what I’ve heard about Gotham, he must have like a billion kids with just a bunch of trauma

Let’s see what I remember from research, cause I did not write anything down for this. His first ward was Richard Grayson, who goes by Dick, was taken in after he watched his whole family fall and die on the trapeze.

As I said before, Jason was brought into Mr. Wayne’s custody after the death of both his father and his step mother. His father’s death was unknown, and his step mother died from a drug overdose… in front of Jason.

Uhm- Tim Drake? His was more interesting to watch unfold because there’s a whole other multimillion almost billion dollar company that Tim’s parents owned, and there was a lot covered up by lawyers and stuff, but Tim ended up with the Waynes

Then there’s the only female in the place, Cassandra Wayne, she is selectively mute, and overly protected by her adoptive family, nothing was shared with the media about where she came from.

Damian Wayne is the only blood son to Bruce Wayne, he didn’t even know about the kid until… like last year? Two years ago? Again, not a lot that I remember.

And then there’s been rumors of him taking in another kid, but nothing for sure yet.

Jesus, Ryan take a breath, and go back to Jason, because now I’m hoping I believe your theories about him being alive cause what this family didn’t need is another death.

Look, Shane. I’m going to be straight with you here. There are three possible theories I think could be plausible. So let’s jump right into them.

-

Theory one, is that Jason Todd is alive and in hiding from The Joker. This is the second most popular idea, and one I hope is true. There really isn’t anything else to this theory, besides a picture of someone that looks a little like Jason in the middle of Asia.

Doppelgänger, probably. Lemme see. I don’t know… this kinda looks like someone edited it.

Yeah, like it looks really distorted. I don’t know if I think it’s real, but it’s what people online were talking about.

Crazy, that people online would doctor fake photos of a kid who had died.

Exactly, which is why people think he’s alive, cause who would do that?

—

Theory two is that Jason Todd died as his family said he did, looking for his birth mother. Apparently he was in the Middle East, found his mother, but then both were found dead in an explosion caused by the Joker.

So the Joker, who is Gotham’s Prince of Crime, was somehow in the Middle East? I don’t buy it

I didn’t either, until I looked just a little deeper, and found that the next week Superman and Batman stopped the Joker from murdering the United Nations. So he was in the area.

Oh my god. If.. I know on this show I try to goof off, but it’s hard when it’s a kid. How old was Jason?

Only 15. He just got back into the swing of things at school, getting all A’s, he was in the Drama program and the Poetry club. If you scroll down a on Dick Grayson’s Instagram you can find a selfie of Dick and Jason, Jason being in his school uniform only a week before he died. The two seemed to be really close, with how much Grayson posted of the two of them, and then it was radio silence from the man until a year after Jason’s death, where he made a memorial post, along with Bruce Wayne, who made the Jason Peter Todd Memorial Foundation, which helps families in Crime Alley.

Look, not okay with the kid dying, but it makes me kinda smile to see that his family got together to do something like this in his name.

I don’t think you understand the length of what this fund does. It provides special housing for single mothers, has opened up two clinics that help with drug abuse and addiction, and keeps kids in warm clothes and in school.

That’s- wow. Okay, you are making this “he’s dead” thing seem like it’s the only thing that happened.

Well, theory 3, is that he died-

Wait what?

He died, and came back to life.

This, I think, is worse than you saying ghosts are real.

We live in a world where someone can run at the speed of light! Yet you draw the line at ghosts and maybe hopefully someone who isn’t dead.

Yeah, but that’s science. Okay whatever where’s the proof of him being alive.

Okay, looking at the timeline. Jason Todd died at 15, in 2015. And the Wayne’s kinda were quiet for a year and a half, besides the foundation they set up, even with Tim, nothing really new was happening.

And then things seemed to go back to normal, they all frequented gala’s again, and all the other social stuff they did-

Yeah, nice choice of wording there

Shut up, anyways, in 2018 a picture appears, not even the front page, of Dick Grayson walking and laughing with someone who looks a lot like if Jason Todd grew up for a few years, and then decided to dye his hair.

Listen, Ryan. People have doppelgängers. We just saw the other picture and it’s clearly fake- Jesus Christ that looks exactly like Jason.

Exactly! And I started looking around more, finding pictures of the Wayne family around Gotham from news sites, and every once in a while, that guy pops up. Never in the picture, but always somewhere in the background like he wasn’t wanting to be seen. Like i mentioned in the beginning, there was a picture from a week ago that looks exactly like him.

Wait, is this a theory from the internet or something you came up with?

Both, kind of? I saw someone make a bad joke about it, and then it kinda stuck in my head as I looked for more information. Apparently there is a mythical pit that could bring someone from the dead.

Okay, yeah. Mythical revival pit. As if any living person wouldn’t be all over that.

Look man, that’s just the information I found. But I really really hope that Jason is alive somewhere safe, or resting peacefully.

The most believable for me is that he did pass away. But I’d love to be wrong.

That being said, I got really sad looking through all of Jason’s life, I felt like I was being more invasive than usual. So I talked with the crew and Buzzfeed, and we are donating all revenue from this video to the Jason Memorial fund in Gotham.

But the mystery of Jason Todd, still remains….

Unsolved

[albatmobile]

The Art of Rehabilitating Snowbirds Chapter 16

𓅪 After not hearing from Roy or Jason for five years, you suddenly find yourself taking in extra income as a babysitter for their child.

𓅪 Rated: M | 3.3k includes: making up, karaoke, Damian appreciation

fem!Reader x Jason Todd x Roy Harper [masterlist]

Chapter 16: It's Gonna Be Me | ao3 - wattpad

THEN

Your apartment was cold and lonely compared to the warm bustle you'd become accustomed to at Wayne Manor, but you had a point to prove.

Jason had texted you once, while Roy had taken to blowing up your phone in the days following. By the time Monday came around, you were shocked to find the redhead at your locker before Tim had even gotten there. 

You raised a questioning brow at his uncharacteristic timeliness to school, then covered his face by opening your locker. “What do you want?”

“Good morning to you, too,” Roy joked. His hair flopped back into view around your locker door. “Jason made scones as an apology for being a huge dick.”

You heard a paper bag ruffle from behind you, but you focused on grabbing your books for the first half of the day. When you shut the door and he was still there, wriggling the bag in your face, you saw no better option than to grab them from his hand and chuck it into the trashcan on the other side of the hall.

The sound was a lot louder than you expected, but you went with it anyway.

His mouth dropped.

Yeah, you weren’t crawling back this time.

Damian showed up and overtook Roy’s steps as he fell in step beside you, pushing him behind the two of you in the process. You’ve never had friends, so you’d never given anyone the cold shoulder. However, the way you and Damian were chittering along like Roy wasn’t even there was definitely cold.

Like Mr. Freeze cold.

Your heart ached, knowing if you chanced a look over your shoulder, Roy would have his signature puppy pout that would make you want to forget everything and forgive him, so you forced your eyes ahead. Eventually, the trailing presence left and you and Damian made it to class minutes before the warning bell ever rang.

“You’re more tolerable than usual,” Damian commented.

You were faced toward the window with the end of your paintbrush tapping against your pencil outline. 

“Less distracted, I guess,” you responded, turning from the window to wet your brush.

Damian hummed, “The manor has been quiet.”

“I’m not a loud person.” You doubted your absence would be that noticeable in a house filled with that many kids.

“Your presence demands attention, then,” Damian restated. “You will come over tonight for a sleepover.” It wasn’t even a question, rather a demand. How could you refuse?

Oh, right.

Roy’s annoying ass you could deal with, but Jason? Anyone with eyes could see you were two opposing forces. Nothing was ever easy with him. You gulped at the idea of running into him again so soon.

Damian called your name.

“Huh?” His face scrunched up in concern. “Oh, sleepover. Yeah,” you trailed off, swirling your brush in the pigment, “I think I can come over.”

You didn’t bother to look over at the confused look that was undoubtedly on his face and were grateful when class started to cut off further questioning.

•

Damian didn’t question your fleeting nature in the manor when you insisted on staying in his room sketching Titus. Eventually, he got tired and begged to be let out.

Dinner ultimately went smoothly, with both Dick and Babs in attendance and Tim joining a few minutes in. 

It was dessert that was messy.

You should’ve known something was off when Alfred asked for your help on the whipped cream. You should’ve known he was the scheming old man everyone claimed him to be. 

Alfred left you to whisk the heavy cream and powdered sugar when Jason’s skunk stripe made a sudden appearance. 

You froze.

“Hey,” your name spilled nonchalantly from his mouth. You continued whisking. If Jason wanted to talk, he could talk. “You doing karaoke tonight?”

Out of all the things you expected to come out of his mouth, that definitely wasn’t one of them.

“What?” you asked impatiently.

You didn’t miss the smirk that trickled onto his scarred cheeks. “Karaoke?”

You sighed.

He made his way behind you, coming up beside you while still allowing a decent amount of space between you.

Chatter from the other room carried over to the kitchen as Dick rambled on about some ski trip in the Alps. The clock in the kitchen ticked every second and the whisk beat against the metallic bowl in your hand.

“Did you like the scones?” You didn’t rise to his bait. The heavy cream was still far too soupy to be used, so you quickened your pace. The faster you could get this over with, the better. Metal crashed against metal, Dick’s voice rang out and the clock chimed out eight times. “I’m sorry.”

It was quiet.

You set the whisk down on the counter with a gentle clang but refused to face him.

“You already said that,” you point out.

Damian called what you were fixated on- the tile between the wall and the cabinets- a backsplash. You’d never been so interested in the pearlescent tile that graced the space, but it’s all you could focus on at the moment. If it weren’t for that stupid fucking tile, you’d be seconds away from walking straight out the front door again.

“Jay babe, yooo -oh,” Roy’s boisterous voice cut through the lull in the dining room, calling out jokingly to Jason only to abruptly cut himself off at the sight of your back. “Hey,” your name is added on like a second thought.

Your fight or flight kicked in and your spine straightened in your indecision.

With both of them present, it was now or never.

Your eyes tore from the backsplash to finally confront them, “I don’t care if you guys think I’m a bitch for acting how I did. I’m tired of being strung along,” you choked, rephrasing quickly. “As a friend, you know? You can’t just decide when you want to associate with me and when you don’t like I’m some toy. I’m not scared to be alone.” 

It was a thinly veiled threat and they knew it.

It was a lie and you knew it.

Roy stepped closer to you, testing the murky waters that separated you. His eyes searched yours for any hesitation, but your resolve quickly crumbled until he found none. “You don’t have to be alone again. At least not because of our dumbasses. I’m sorry,” he looked at Jason. “We’re sorry. You’re right.”

You let your stern look drop and look between the two of them. “Okay,” you conceded.

They’d apologized and you’d forgiven them, but things still felt off. You could partially feel the walls you’d steadily been chipping away at fully fortify around them once again, taunting you in their wake.

“Don’t take it the wrong way. We’re not used to letting people in,” Jason said. “There are some things you need to trust. Please just trust that it has to be like this.” 

The apology you could accept. Them going right back into keeping shit from you? Not so much. Regardless, you felt the need to keep the peace.

“Okay.” 

Dessert went off without a hitch, you mainly sticking to Damian’s side, talking about his latest shopping spree for Titus. You didn’t miss how their eyes followed every touch you left on Damian from across the table.

•

It’s not like you were exactly quiet or anything, but in large groups like this, you tended to hover in the shadows as an observer. Considering the last person you expected to get up and sing was Damian, you doubted you could get him up there for a duet, but damn, did you want to sing at least one song.

After watching Barbara kill at Macklemore, Tim dominate a song in perfect Japanese, then Dick downright murdering "Holding Out for a Hero," you were itching to get up there. Roy’s rendition of "Gold Digger" was nothing compared to his duet with Jason to “Colt 45.” 

Yes, you were still hesitant around them, but you couldn’t suppress your smile at their performance. Jason’s head nods to the beat, coupled with Roy’s obnoxious hand gestures to the lyrics, left even Damian cackling like an idiot. 

You couldn’t help but notice you hadn’t seen Stephanie around in forever and, even though you’d originally gotten off on the wrong foot, you were definitely missing her sass. Karaoke definitely seemed up her alley, so you wondered why she couldn't come.

Weird.

After Dick stole the mic for the fifteenth time of the night, he tried to wrestle it from Barbara’s grip when she snatched it away. Dick and Bab’s game of tug-of-war continued onto the makeshift stage, which forced Jason and Roy to evacuate the vicinity. 

It was weird because you swore you saw Jason and Roy hesitate about where to go as they left the stage. For once, you felt like you could read them and, for once, it seemed like they hadn’t noticed your edge above them. 

With all the couches being free and the one you were sitting on more than half occupied by Damian and yourself, you’re surprised when Roy’s feet gained confidence and headed in your direction. Jason followed skeptically behind him. He obviously didn’t want to push anything and ruin the progress you’d all made in the kitchen, but you showed no hostility. 

Honestly, you were tired of being at war with them. One weekend had been more than enough time apart, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. 

Roy fell into the seat next to you on the couch, nearly hitting you in the process. His added weight sent you falling into his side, causing his hands to go up in surrender. You quickly shuffled away to put more room between the two of you, but no matter how far you scooted, you were still tilting toward him. 

“We’re good. Right?” Roy tilted his head at you like a confused puppy. 

Jason stayed off to the side, pretending to watch Dick sing another rock ballad. In reality, you knew he was paying attention to your every word.

“Keep asking and my answer just might change,” Damian snickered at your response from beside you. 

“No, I just mean, like, we settled everything?” His head tilted more, a feat you didn’t think possible. “‘Cuz I can’t lie, princess, not talking to you’s been killing us.”

You nodded lightly. “Yeah, we’re good.”

It definitely felt nice to hear that the break had also impacted them. 

“Good.”

“I’m not playing that game with you,” you snorted. “So, since we’re all good, now I get to ask why you were shirtless.”

“Roy’s a whore.” Damian rolled his eyes. “Don’t waste a question on something as obvious as that.”

“Least take me out on a date before calling me those dirty names, darlin’.” 

Damian’s nose scrunched in disgust, electing to physically remove himself from the conversation to sabotage the sound system instead.

“Thanks for ditching me,” you called after his retreating form but were met with his middle finger. “So?” You looked back at Roy.

“Still thinking about me shirtless, beautiful?”

“My age still not an issue for tonight?” The redhead sputtered at your retort while Jason at least had the decency to look amused. 

“Whatever.” He bumped into you jokingly. “You singin’ or what?”

Damian was wrestling Dick while Babs filmed the whole thing and the mic had rolled onto the ground in front of you. 

“Well, there is one song I know.”

You stood up, picking up the microphone in the process and Dick and Babs immediately backed off. Damian scoffed at you but moved, too, nonetheless. You turned around and shook your head at their snickers and Dick’s wolf whistles. Hiding your smile, you waited anxiously for Dick to hit the lights and for Babs to start the song. 

Your eyes avoided everyone in the room as the opening died down and Justin Timberlake’s voice kicked in. The choreography you hadn’t realized you’d memorized came easily after. Dick, who Barbara had wrestled to the couch to prevent him from hijacking another performance, still managed to wriggle free to join your moves in unison just as the second chorus hit. 

The room got so loud when Alfred walked in on you and Dick doing the robot, leaving everyone else collectively to lose their shit. The older man merely closed the door, shaking his head before retreating back downstairs and letting Bruce know karaoke night was a success. 

What Alfred didn’t know (and what Dick would never admit while he was still in police academy) was that everyone was decently tipsy off the natties Roy had lugged in. 

The final chorus kicked in and by that point, everyone but Jason and Damian were on their feet, following along with Dick's and your choreography. By the time the song ended, you were all in a howling, panting heap on the floor.

Roy’s sweaty shirt was flung onto Dick’s disgusted face as he flopped back down next to you on the floor. 

“What is with you and this shirtless thing you’ve got going on?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes,” you shifted your head to face him, flashing him a tipsy grin, “that’s why I keep asking, weirdo.”

“Yeah, I bet you do,” he teased, flicking his cap further down over his eyes, casting them into a shade of darkness. 

“Roy, what?” you snorted, raising your arm and letting it fall on his stomach. He rolled over on top of you in retaliation until his weight forced you to tap. He removed himself easily and your breathing finally regulated. 

Off to the side, you heard Damian call for you.

Roy pouted, “You leavin’ me all alone with Jay?”

��I’m sure you’ll survive," you said, paying him no mind. After all, you knew Roy was completely exaggerating his resistance. Damian reached his hand down toward you and hauled you upward. “Besides, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, anyway. I’m spending the night with Damian.”

Roy looked over at Jason and made grabby hands, only to be met by Jason’s middle finger. You sighed and reached your hand down to help him up. 

“Oh, princess. You sure know how to treat a gent.” Roy waggled his eyebrows at you obnoxiously. You were tempted to drop him right then and there, but the kind part in your heart won out, so you elected to pull him to his feet instead. 

Jason waited for the two of you with Damian at the door. 

“You sure you don’t want to go out with us?” Jason asked. He was leaning casually against the frame. You had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes at his angsty-ass behavior. 

You looked at Damian, who’d yet to take his eyes off you since your karaoke number. “Uh, where to?” you questioned.

“Just walking around downtown and shit.”

Damian’s eyes flickered with what you were beginning to think was jealousy. The last thing you wanted to do was upset him when he was the reason you were even here to forgive them in the first place.

“I’ll probably just stick around here with Dami,” you said, following behind as they made to leave. At the nickname, everyone's steps faltered except your own. “What?”

Ever since the argument, even though all was forgiven, you still viewed them differently and they obviously viewed you differently. Whether it was sexual and out of reach or platonic and all in your head, you didn’t know. What you did know was that Damian had always been there for you. 

You parted ways with Jason and Roy. Damian absolutely preened when you walked into his room with him instead of leaving with them.

You rolled your eyes; boys were so annoying. You knew you'd made the right choice, though.   

His hand rested against the small of your back as he led you to his balcony. 

“This is probably one of the only places in the city where you can actually see the stars,” he admitted as he nodded his head toward the sky. Your eyes followed his line of sight. The inky blackness radiated flecks of white stars as if they’d been splattered across its expanse like paint on a canvas. “There’s Ursa Major,” your eyes trailed to the end of his finger, “right next to Cassiopeia.” 

“I always loved that myth,” you sighed dreamily, thinking back to when you’d hoarded all the mythology books you could find with Bart at your last school. While you never really talked, he was always in the library for some reason, so it made sense why your paths always seemed to cross. 

Silence with you and Damian was never awkward, especially now with all the twinkling night sky to keep you entertained.

“You performed wonderfully,” he said out of nowhere.

His room overlooked the rose garden where you’d been just a few months prior. You thought back to the shaky ground you’d found yourself on with Jason in the library after he’d denounced the garden situation. From where you were standing, you could look down and see the very fountain that you’d wrestled in. You were quite literally above the situation.

You couldn’t tell if he was being facetious or not. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious,” he insisted. Damian was facing the gardens with both hands on the railing, but his eyes were on as if he thought you might disappear at any moment. “You make everything so beautiful.”

You couldn’t help the shock that caused your mouth to fall open. “Damian.”

He turned to face you now. “You make the simplest of things seem so magical. From the way you hold your paintbrush to the way you tuck your hair behind your ear when you’re anxious.” You hadn’t even realized you’d done that yourself. “The way your eyes glisten when you know an answer in class. It all goes back to the way you put yourself out there, not caring what anyone thinks of you,” he exhaled as if it physically pained him to get this off his chest. “You’re entirely beautiful.”

“Damian,” you said again, not quite believing what you were hearing. No one had ever written you poetry, let alone spoken such niceties to you, but Damian's words felt like a poem. Your insides felt completely warm.

“I adore you.” At this, he took your hands in his, searching your eyes for an answer you didn’t know if you had. 

Everything with Jason and Roy was so muddled and entirely a daydream if you were being honest. Damian was within reach. He was kind, always there for you. He understood your sass and offered it back tenfold. 

He was perfect.

Your stomach clenched and your eyebrows drew together in confusion.

If he was perfect, why were you so hesitant?

“You mean so much to me, Dami.”

While you’d kissed him before, this felt like your actual first kiss.

No emotional turmoil, no traumatic event. No screaming, no blood, just the crickets, wind and stars to keep you company. 

The rose gardens shrunk from view as your face slowly inched toward Damian’s. His hands slid along the railing until his right hand brushed against your left. He allowed his pinky to graze along your own before his smaller hand tried to cover yours.

It’d been months since you’d last done anything beyond the intention of friendly, but you weren’t dumb. You knew where this was heading.

His lips were perfectly smooth as they made chaste pressure against your own. His cheek came to rest against your warm one, causing you to tilt your head to meet his own until you were able to look up and meet his eyes.

You realized in amusement that he was waiting for you to make the next move. You nudged his head with your forehead until it tilted upward, allowing you to fully capture his lips with your own.

He removed his other hand from the railing to cup your cheek. Meanwhile, yours both moved to his chest to deepen the kiss. 

When you broke apart, you couldn’t help the yawn that escaped you.

“Sorry,” you apologized with a wince. You hadn’t been getting any sleep on your shitty mattress at home and the prospect of sleeping on Damian’s cloud had you excited in the sleepiest way possible.

Damian dismissed the action as he grabbed your hand, placing a delicate peck on top of it. Without having to say anything, he opened the door for you and stripped down to his boxers with a self-conscious second glance before hopping into his bed. 

He looked at you expectantly. 

You stripped into a baggy crop top and the shorts he'd kept since the last sleepover before joining him. When Damian attempted to flip your position so he could be the big spoon, you just tightened your grip around his midsection until he gave in, snuggling against your front with a slight huff.

Though your tired eyes wailed for you to succumb to sleep, one question rang out in your head, preventing it.

Why had you kissed him? 

A/N: EVERY LITTLE THING I DOOOO -- come say hi/ send me prompts!!

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[kevrocksicehouse]

I have a confession. But first I want to emphasize that none of us is perfect, y’all without sin etc. Everybody has some secret shame that if exposed should be penalized with nothing more stringent than forgiveness. Except this. This is worse. Okay here goes (deep breath):

I DON’T THINK THERE WERE ANY OSCAR SNUBS.

Nope. Not even Barbie. Despite Greta Gerwig’s masterful shepherding of what is so far Mattel’s greatest movie, if Zone of Interest (which I haven’t seen yet) is a dog, I’ll give Jonathan Glazer’s place to May/December’s Todd Haynes. Ditto for Robie who was almost perfect (But what’s up with her still using the Harley Quinn accent?). If Nyad isn’t up to snuff I’ll just slide in Past Lives’ Greta Lee.

It was that kind of year. Lots of good movies and for a change most of them got at least some kind of Oscar nod. But. There were those orphans and also-rans that came up all the way short. No nominations. Let’s honor them, okay?

In other words, it’s time for KEVROC’S ANNUAL BEST MOVIES THAT DIDN’T GET EVEN ONE LOUSY NOMINATION list!

Asteroid City. Wes Anderson had a short-lived Oscar vogue in the last decade with  Best Picture nominations for Moonrise Kingdom in 2013 and  Grand Budapest Hotel in 2014, but this year the consensus was that this deadpan dramatization of the tension between postwar optimism and post-nuclear domination which defined the latter half of The American Century was just a collection of the director’s tropes instead of a humanist masterpiece. It should have been nominated if for no other reason than to give a push to “Dear Alien (Who Art in Heaven)” for the Best Song award it deserves. (But hey, Wes got a Best Live Action Short nod for The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar).

A Good Person. Zach Braff’s directorial rep as the King of Emo, not to mention an early release date kept Oscar voters from this story of two addicts struggling not to relapse in the face of their lives’ biggest tragedy, that gave Morgan Freeman his best role in years and reaffirmed Florence Pugh’s status as the best actor of this decade.

All of Us Strangers. A simple dreamlike plot (a depressed gay man meets his soulmate, and simultaneously gets to see his long-dead parents) becomes a soul-wrenching mystical reverie brought to life by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell as the parents, Paul Mescal as the troubled soulmate and Andrew Scott, who gives a performance so exposed and vulnerable that if it went any further he’d literally shed his skin.

Monica. A trans woman (Trace Lysette) reconnects with her family and is taken for a nurse by her demented, homophobic mother (Patricia Clarkson). It sounds like Joan Crawford doing an Almodovar film but director Andrea Pallaoro goes for subtlety and nuance over camp drama in this quiet gem. Lysette should have been talked about more.

Air. This crazy-entertaining celebration of the marketing synergy of Michael Jordan and Nike got Oscar-overlooked because a whole movie devoted to a celebrity spokesperson deal is maybe just a little too on-the-nose. But it had great work by Chris Messina, Jason Bateman, a Macchiavellian Viola Davis and especially Matt Damon who might be too good an actor to ever win an Oscar for it.

Passages. Ira Sachs examination of why-good-people-love-irredeemable-pricks is a high point in the careers of Adele Exarchoupoulos and Ben Wishaw but was a breakout star vehicle for Franz Rogowski playing the kind of prick who has a one-night stand and is so smitten he can’t wait to tell his husband all about it.

Blue Beetle. You know the superhero movie is in trouble when this crackerjack film about a reluctant Latino champion of his family and community (and whose sidekicks include a Zapatista-veteran grandmother) could only find a fraction of the audience it deserved.  And the line “Now is when we cry” made me cry.

Strays. All apologies to Poor Things and American Fiction, but this profane and scatological tribute to couch-humping, trash-eating dogshit producing (and eating) canis lupus familiaris was the funniest movie of the year.

Bottoms. Even beating out this gloriously tasteless and bracingly absurdist tale of high school lesbians who start a fight club to meet chicks that would win the Jean Hersholt humanitarian award if they renamed it for John Waters.

Taylor Swift: The Eras tour. The Academy’s prejudice against performance films is understandable. Certainly the struggle against dictators in Uganda and Invaders in the Ukraine are more important than a superstar juggernaut’s latest step on her way to world domination. But I’m not the only one who became convinced that the juggernaut was a real (and major) artist. And flashing on the closeups of random fans experiencing pure ecstasy was as moving as anything I saw this year.

[undertheredhood]

any of bruce's exes/current lovers: how you would you like to be my son?

jason 'gotta catch 'em all!' todd: how about you guys go to therapy?

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Roy Harper when his Future child comes to the Present

Dick Grayson Ver. | Jason Todd Ver. | Tim Drake Ver. | Damian Wayne Ver.  | Bruce Wayne Ver.

Conner Kent Ver. | Wally West Ver.| Artemis Crock Ver.

A/N: And by very very VERY popular demand, I give you Roy Harper! I really really REALLY loved the storyline for this one so I really hope you enjoy it!

You and Roy were introduced through Jason

You were with Jason and Starfire when you went to rescue Roy from Qurac

And together, the four of you formed the Outlaws

Your and Roy's relationship had been through thick and thin

You went from Jason's mutual friends

To plain acquaintances

To friends but you weren't close enough to nag or judge him for his terrible life decisions

To friends but you could nag him, but you still had boundaries

To friends who could literally be considered as married

Like legit those weird friends that could go to the bathroom while the other one would be showering

The type of friends that would cuddle with each other

Or sleep in the same bed because they feel lonely

Or hold each other because they just needed to be held

Or kiss and make out and have sex

Those kinds of friends

But even though your friendship was built over a volcano that could erupt any second

You still had a strong foundation

And you had been through a lot of shit together

Even though Jason was the one that introduced the both of you

You ended up being closer to Roy than Jason ever dreamed of getting with you

So much so that Jason calls him your Royfriend

haha play on words

Remember how I said your relationship was a volcano just waiting to explode and kill several neighbouring towns?

Well, that explosion came in the form of Jade Nguyen

Or Cheshire

Or the mother of Roy's child

What the fuck?

So, while you were seeking comfort and intimacy and security in Roy

He had been doing the same with Jade

And they had a daughter together

Even though you both weren't official

It broke your heart, and you were devastated

You couldn't bear to watch Roy with his daughter after Jade left her to him

It was too painful to think that you didn't mean as much to him as he did to you

So, you told Jason that you were quitting

And one night you took off

Without telling Roy anything

When he found out, he'll admit he was a little blindsided

But he couldn't blame you

He had known he was the bad guy in this situation

Because he knew about your feelings toward him

And to be honest, he might have felt the same way

But he was afraid to fall for someone

The intensity of his feelings scared him

Everything in his life always went so wrong

And things with you were so good the way they were

Sleeping with Jade was something he didn't expect

It was stupid and it was a mistake

And he did regret it happening at all

But regardless, he had a daughter

And he chose to love her dearly, to raise her well and healthy

Unlike the way he grew up

He wanted to find you and apologize

To get on his knees and beg for forgiveness

But he knew that you deserved better than that

I mean, really

What was he expecting?

That he'd find you and ask to raise someone else's child along with him?

The same person who he slept with despite having feelings for you?

You deserved way better than that

And that's what you believed too while you tried to forget what Roy's kisses felt like

How safe and loved you felt in his arms

How if you forgot the world for a second, you actually felt happy with him

But it was all fake, it wasn't real

Because you were the only one who felt that way

You were either a burden to him, or he was using you

And you didn't want to spend one more moment lamenting over him

And that's exactly what you plan to do

Until one day someone appears at your apartment

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Hey, mom."

"Um, wrong number."

You replied immediately before you slammed the door in her face

The knocking on the door and the ringing of the bell persisted until you opened the door again

"Okay that was a stupid opening, alright. I mean it was super sentimental and wholesome from my side. But it might have been super confusing and weird on your end."

"I'm this close to closing the door again."

"Let me introduce myself. I'm Lian Harper."

You outright laughed at her standing so confidently in front of you, pretending to be your friend's daughter like she didn't know Lian was still an infant

"Yeah, because you're definitely an infant who can't stand let alone get across the country."

"I'm Lian Harper. From 12 years in the future." She said, fishing for something in her pocket and for a second you thought it was a gun before she revealed a ring

You stopped in your tracks

That ring...

It was a family heirloom that you inherited

You glared at her, snatching the ring from her hands

"Stay. Right. Here!"

You went to check where you had hidden the ring

And there it was right where you had left it

Identical to the scratches that were left on the surface from when you used to wear it out in the field

Which meant that she was really from the future

Or had amazing forgery skills

When you opened the door again, she was smiling expectantly at you

"I don't know what the hell you want from me, but I suggest you get lost before I make you regret it."

She frowned, "Trust issues much, mom? How much proof do you want from me?"

You leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms, "Considering you call me mom makes me suspect that you have no idea what character you're supposed to be playing."

"Or maybe I call you mom because you raised me?"

You raised a brow at her, "What the hell are you saying?"

"Look, I don't know what's going on either. I was in a fight with one of the lanterns and I woke up 12 years in the past and I remember one of your safehouses were here, so I came here to camp out until I found something but instead found you."

She was sticking to her story very vehemently, and you were compelled to believe her

You spend the night talking, trying to wrap your head around all of this

"So, I get married to your father and raise you along with Roy, is that right?"

"Yeah."

"What about your mother?"

"Who cares about her?"

This really shouldn't have surprised you

Considering you've seen A LOT of bad parental relationships

It would have been more surprising if she said that she was in a fully functioning and healthy relationship with her mother

But still, you felt sorry for her

And to be honest, the fact that you would inevitably be put in the middle of their family issues made you uncomfortable

You didn't want to be the reason their family didn't work out

Jade, Roy and Lian deserved a chance to have a happy family

Lian was stubborn though

She kept insisting that she didn't need Jade

But she was also young

You remember thinking the same at that age

But sorting out their relationship would probably benefit her in the long run

For some reason, you felt compelled to reunite her with her mother

Or set their relationship straight from the start

So right before she falls asleep in your bed

You tell her that you both are heading for Roy's place tomorrow to sort this out and try and find out how to send her home

Before going to sleep on the couch

To say Roy was surprised when you come knocking on the door with a girl that looks like a younger Jade is an understatement

He didn't believe Lian at first

But after listening to both you and her, he conceded

The three of you were standing in his living room when you heard a cry from the baby chair where little Lian was sitting

Lian grinned brightly at her younger self

"Man, I was so cute! Enjoy this time younger me, it gets real shitty when you grow up."

"Language." Roy chastised without skipping a beat and you hid a smile at it

He was such a dad

You'll admit you had doubts

But he was really pulling himself together for the sake of his daughter

Together, the three of you try to decide how to go about getting Lian back to her own time

She tells Roy all about her life in the future

And honestly just hearing her makes him feel so happy

This whole thing caught him off guard and he was never sure if he ever even wanted to be a father

He was going through his own shit before Lian came

And he was just grasping at straws when it came to this whole father thing

But she didn't seem like she hated him

She was healthy and happy

And Roy's heart had never felt so light before

All the things that were bothering him

Like whether he'd be a good father

Or whether you'd ever forgive him and come back to him

Those things seemed to go well

And he couldn't be more grateful for it

After a while though

When Lian is preoccupied with something

You pull Roy out into the hallway

To try and convince him to somehow bring Jade back into Lian's life

And how the three of them deserved to be a family

You were honestly just trying to do what you thought was best for Lian and Roy and even Jade

You didn't want to make them uncomfortable and try and fit you in their family

After all they've been through, Roy at least deserved a good family

All you wanted was their happiness

Even if it meant at your expense

But all Roy heard was that you didn't want to be part of this family

You didn't want to be put into this uncomfortable situation

You didn't want to raise Lian along with him

You didn't want to be in a relationship with him

And why should he blame you?

He shouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to be with someone who made less mistakes than him

Who was more open than him

Who was gentler and kinder and better than him

You deserved that

"I'll try and convince Jade to stay so we can be a family."

Even though both your hearts were breaking in your chest

Little did you know a third heart was cracking right as they heard you say it

The door slammed open and there stood Lian with the most betrayed expression she could muster

Her eyes were filled with tears

"I don't want Jade to come back! She chose to leave us! This was her choice!"

"Lian, I know how you feel now but if we get Jade back then we can nip this at the bud, you three can be a family."

"I already have a family! A happy one, with you and dad! I don't want her back in my life! I don't want her to ruin the family that I have!"

"Lian....she's your mother." You tried to convince

"Why are you so fixated on that?!! Yes, she is my mother, but you were the woman I ran to whenever I needed mom!"

Your eyes clouded with tears

This whole time you thought that you shouldn't be in between them

That they deserved to be a family without you

That you were just someone that Roy and Lian would settle for in Jade's absence

But she was here, and she was telling you that she just wanted you

She had a chance to choose Jade instead

But she still wanted you

And you had a place in this family

You weren't just kidding yourself

You actually had a place that mattered and a family that loved you

"Mom, please don't leave me." She whimpered out, wiping her tears and you were crying before you knew it

You hugged her so tightly and that harsh clenching of your chest ceased

It finally felt like everything would be okay

"I won't. I won't leave you. It's okay, mommy's here." You whispered into her hair, holding onto her as tightly as you could

Roy joined into the hug when you grabbed his arm

And the three of you together in the hallway hugged each other tightly

Like it was real

Like you were a family

Eventually, Lian cried so much that she tired herself out

And Roy carried her back to bed

When he came back out, you were tending to baby Lian who was just about to fall asleep as well

And Roy just took a moment to gaze at you

With his daughter in your arms as you rocked her to sleep

And he just knew that this is what he had ever wanted

Not Jade

Just you

Eventually, she fell asleep soundly, blubbering into your shirt and you chuckled at the sight of her

It was weird, you never thought you would be able to replace Jade

And maybe you wouldn't

But you had a place with them, and you were a part of this family

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N)." Roy whispered to you, trying to keep quiet for the sake of his sleeping child

You gave him a small smile

You weren't exactly sure how you felt about this situation and about him

But you knew this was where you both wanted to be

And you were going to try hard to work this out

So, you didn't say anything and just cupped his cheek before leaning in to place a soft kiss to his lips

Lian fussed in your arms from the movement, and you pulled away to make sure she fell back into her slumber

Just as you placed her back into the crib, you reached into your pocket and handed Roy something

He gazed at the ring in his palm with a brow raised

"It was a family heirloom. I guess, it belongs to our family now." You muttered, blushing furiously when you saw the smile on his face.

"Apparently you propose with this ring so I'm just going to tell you to hold onto it."

Roy gave you a look that was halfway between a smirk and a smile

"(Y/N) (L/N), are you proposing to me right now."

You mirrored the smile, "Roy Harper, I'm asking you to make me (Y/N) Harper."

He grinned brightly at you, leaning in to kiss you passionately

You heard a noise at the door

When you pulled away, Lian was standing at the door, smiling widely

"That was so romantic you guys! I can't believe I was actually here to witness the proposal!"

You scoffed before pointing at the snoozing babe in the corner of the room, "You are here."

Lian scoffed right back, and Roy chuckled, noticing the resemblance between the both of you

"She's so useless. Sleeping at a time like this."

"Hey, that's my daughter you're talking about."

If you noticed the giant smile on Roy's face after hearing that, you didn't say anything

You definitely noticed

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

@hanbedumbaf

@superheroesaremyjam113263

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

@isawachickeninatree

@uxavity

@battlenix

@capricorn-stark

@evermoore580

@dumbbitchgalore

@fuckingjinkies

@some-lovely-day

[timdrake-yumm]

I don’t understand why, in dubbing someone the “best robin,” some must prove they are right by putting down the other robins. Like, I love Tim Drake, and I personally consider him the “best robin,” but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the other batboys (and Steph)! None of the batfam are perfect, so pointing out your non-favorite robins flaws doesn’t make them the best robin; there isn’t a way to prove one better than the rest, because it’s all a matter of opinion. And sure, maybe your “best robin” isn’t your favorite robin (though I’m sure that’s a rare occasion), but that means you’re just measuring who Robin is differently than someone who has a different “best robin.”

Dick Grayson might be your “best robin” because he’s the original! Who could be a better robin than the one who created him? He’s charming and funny. He loves his family and would do almost anything for them. He’s deceptively mischievous in a way that make people mistake him for perfection. He’s charismatic, friendly, and super outgoing! He sees the good in everyone and just wants to protect and save everyone he can. He’s a natural-born leader.

He’s stubborn, bullheaded, and just a tad bit prideful. He internalizes negative emotions because he has to be the best, and the best can’t be anything less than perfect. He doesn’t know how to reach out for help (Did he ever get help and support after Mirage and Tarantula? I don’t actually know the answer to this, but I hope he did because he deserves the love and should be allowed to feel safe). He forgets to let others in on his thought process or decisions, even when they effect other people. He’s intentionally secretive. He’s not the best at compartmentalizing (because compartmentalizing and internalizing are two different things and he only really does one of those). He doesn’t like to admit when he’s wrong (although, who does?) and sometimes pretends that any slight just… never happened in the first place. He has some anger issues. Dick Grayson is not perfect.

Jason Todd might be your “best robin” because who else could know what the people of Gotham truly need more than the boy who grew up in the heart of it? He’s charming in that rugged sort of way; a “bad boy” with a heart of gold. He’s a feminist and loves to read classics! He’s both book-smart and street-smart! He’s just plain smart. He loves to learn and is a protector at heart. He will make you feel like an equal. He’s the Robin that could make Batman smile.

Talk about someone with anger issues! And no, that’s not solely related to the Pit; the whole reason he went off to find his “real mom” is because him and Bruce had been fighting so much (and yes, Bruce isn’t without fault in this, but it takes two to tango). He’s dramatic and paranoid, insecure. He neither internalizes nor compartmentalizes, he just explodes. He’s willing to use others to get at someone else. He’s sometimes a little impulsive. He tunnel-visions hard. He’s obsessive and sometimes he doesn’t care about things as much as he probably should, while other things he just cares too much about. Jason Todd is not perfect.

Tim Drake might be your “best robin” because in a lot of ways, he’s “surpassed” Bruce. He’s a detective born and bred, the Robin who figured out who Batman and Robin were! He’s independent and just the right amount of dorky. He outplayed Ra’s Al Ghul! He’s able to recognize his faults and actively fights to be better. He’s canonically queer! He is a forged leader who knows when and when not to take the lead. He’s quick-witted and thorough, a perfectionist. He a peacemaker who wants everyone to be happy. He just cares a lot. He’s Batman’s perfect partner, the one who compliments him the best. He’s the one who saved Batman when no one believed he needed saving.

This boy is more secretive than Batman; his secrets have secrets. He doesn’t 100% understand the concept of “forgive and forget,” AKA he holds onto pain like it’s the only thing he knows. He internalizes and goes in a downward spiral. He can be a little bit people-oblivious, yet at the same time extremely manipulative. He’s simultaneously insecure and egotistical (and yes, that’s possible). He’s obsessive in an almost creepy manner. He doesn’t know how to let go once something has caught his interest, and he neglects that which doesn’t have his interest. He has a deep-seated need to be perfect. He’s always working for his own agenda. Tim Drake is not perfect.

Stephanie Brown might be your “best robin” because oh my gosh, girl power! She’s funny and friendly, and pretty dang well-adjusted. She’s Barbara Gordon’s protégé. She’s clever and the best kind of mischievous. You look at the twinkle in her eye, and you just know that whatever happens next, it’s going to be the best time you’ve ever had. I’m pretty sure Batman is afraid of her. You know you’ll always have a good time when she’s around. Shes a people-person. She’s the Robin who makes you trust her.

She’s impulsive and doesn’t always think things through; she sometimes hurts those she loves without meaning to. She forgets there are consequences to her actions. She doesn’t really know when to quit. She doesn’t always take things seriously when they need to be. She doesn’t really know how to think on her feet very well. Stephanie Brown is not perfect.

Damian Wayne might be your “best robin” because that’s what he’s been training for his whole life! He’s loyal and protective. He’s a huge animal lover (and they love him back)! He’s always trying to improve himself and be the best that he can be. He’s a skilled warrior who looks up to his dad in an almost idolized fashion. He’s an artist. He’s the Robin who tries (and I am so looking forward to watching him grow).

He’s hotheaded and proud. He doesn’t know how to admit his faults, and lashes out at others when he feels inadequate in any way. He has a driving need to be superior than those around him. He doesn’t know how to connect with people and doesn’t really try to do so either. The only emotions he knows how to express are those that are negative. He’s undoing years of League brainwashing and abuse. He doesn’t know how to listen and often thinks he knows what’s best. He’s disrespectful to those he thinks of as beneath him at the best of times, and outright hostile at the worst. Damian Wayne is not perfect.

And why would you want them to be perfect? If they’re perfect, they’re unattainable and unrelatable. You don’t get to watch as they learn and grow and become better people. You don’t get to watch as they change what society as a whole might consider a “flaw” into a strength. There’s no reason to fight over which robin is the best because they’re all the best at their own, unique, individual thing (Watch me just add more synonyms). They made robin their own. Look, we like characters because we see something in them that reminds us of ourselves, so maybe instead of criticizing someone for their favorite character (in anything), you learn who they are as a person and see it reflected in that character.

Tim Drake is my favorite character for a lot of reasons, and all of them at their core can be lead back to how I see myself- flaws and strengths in equal volume. I may joke and say that he is the best, no contest, but I can always appreciate when someone doesn’t see everything the same way I do.

There are probably a hundred other strengths and weaknesses that I could add to any of the robins; these are just a handful that came to my head while writing this rant. I acknowledge that some of the things I put may be influenced by my own biased perspective, and may not even have any proper proof of actually being one of their characteristics (I’m too lazy to look for proof, especially since I am currently not where all my comics are, these are all just based on how I visualize each character in my head). I hope my whole point came across clearly, and that you understand what I was trying to say. Honestly, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading!

TD-Y

[mochegato]

I Can’t Fight This Feeling

Chapter 3

Chapter 1     Chapter 2

He just came here for a fucking break.  Somewhere none of the people he normally works with would be caught dead.  Which is the only reason he was in an art museum right now.  Because Black Mask aside, none of Gotham’s rogues or henchmen had the slightest interest in art and Black Mask would never deign to be in the presence of Gotham’s unwashed masses.

So here, this place, it was a safe haven.  A relaxing place.  A place where he could let his mind wander and his guard down, as much as you could anywhere in Gotham.  It had absolutely nothing to do with the painting of a dark haired, blue eyed woman glancing hopefully into the distance that he had been staring at for the last hour, the same painting he ended up in front of every time he visited.

But his peaceful reprieve was being intruded upon.  He couldn’t see the person, but he could feel their eyes boring into him.  They’ve been on him for at least the last ten minutes.  That meant it was more than just someone who wanted to hit on him. They would have made their move already. He would give them five more minutes to move on before he acted, but he could feel his rage rising with each passing second.  

After another five minutes, he rounded on them, ready to threaten them until they regretted even breathing in the same building as him.  “What are you fucking…” he hissed out, but his anger dissipated when he was met with the same blue eyes that had consumed his mind for the last hour. Or rather, if he were being honest, for the last three years.  “…looking… at.”

“Oh, sorry,” her eyes widened in surprise before she looked away awkwardly. “That must have seemed so creepy. It’s just… you look so familiar?  I could swear I know you from somewhere.” Her eyes returned to his, searching them for familiarity.

He stared at her wide eyed.  She couldn’t be here.  Why would she be here… in Gotham.  She didn’t belong in Gotham.  She was supposed to stay in Paris where it was safe, now that Hawkmoth was gone and the League couldn’t track her, where she could stay innocent.  “Marinette,” he breathed out.  

She gave him a brilliant smile and let out a relieved breath.  “Oh good.  You do know me.”  She laughed nervously.  “I’ve never remembered anyone from that time before.  And it has to be from that time, right?  Otherwise I’d remember how I know you.”

“What are you doing here?”  He continued to stare at her still in a haze.  She had somehow gotten even more beautiful in the last few years, her eyes brighter.  God, they had always been mesmerizing, but now they were positively hypnotic.  Maybe that had more to do with getting away from the Hawkmoth situation, being free again, not bogged down by the responsibility of protecting millions of people as a child, being in a whole new time in her life.  He was so lost in thought, it took a second for her words to register.  “What do you mean ‘that time’?”

“I was looking for a little design inspiration.”  Her voice was unsteady, slightly shaking.  She tapped her fingers together nervously.  “I have, um… a commission I need to figure out and homework and I have no idea what to do for the homework.  The direction was so vague or maybe it wasn’t and it’s just me.  It’s just not something that registers with me, you know.”  Her voice became stronger as she babbled.  “Like, I can design a thousand dresses based on a flower, or the rain, or a building, but design based on a heart?  I can’t do it.  Ask for something based on a star?  I got it. A circle?  Hundreds of designs.  A square?  Got that too. Even a triangle would be fun.  But a heart?  So cliché.”

“I meant,” he interrupted harsher than he intended to.  He let his voice soften.  “What are you doing in Gotham?”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment.  “I go to school here.  My best friend and I moved here last year for school.  I go for design.  He wants to be a teacher.”

“In Gotham?” he asked incredulously.  “Of all the places you could have gone, why Gotham?”

She tilted her head to the side in consideration, weighing her words carefully. It was the first time since they started talking that her body seemed to relax.  He studied her body language a bit more.  No, not relax, slump.  Her shoulders slumped as she thought of the reason that brought her here.  “Because Gotham doesn’t judge,” she answered quietly. “Because you can just disappear in Gotham.  No matter your past, as long as you aren’t actively trying to hurt them, nobody cares. There’s no hostile looks, no glares, no thinly veiled insults or completely unveiled insults.  You can just be.”

Jason’s heart clenched and his anger started to build.  He took a step closer to her.  “Why was that important to you?  Who was looking at you like that?”  He kept his voice even and calm, but he was sure his eyes were starting to show hues of green edging in.

She shook her head and looked down.  “Not me.  My best friend.  He tried moving to London and New York, but it just… seemed to follow him everywhere he went.  I mean he still had all his friends but… they started getting into trouble too because they were getting into fights defending him and… yeah.  So we applied to transfer here and both got accepted to our different schools.”

He nodded in understanding.  That seemed like something she would do; uproot her entire life for a friend.  “Gotham is good like that.  They let you rebuild yourself.  We’ve seen too much pain to judge too much.”  He looked away for a few seconds before he realized something.  “You never answered the second question.  What did you mean ‘that time’?”

“Oh… um…” she looked away awkwardly again and shuffled her feet a few times. “I have amnesia?  I lost a few years of my life a few years ago.”

“Amnesia?”

“Yeah, it was super weird.  I wasn’t even in an accident.  No physical injuries.  Just memory loss.”  She was rubbing the back of her neck and looking up at him sideways as she spoke.

He stared at her for a few more seconds.  That made no sense.  Why would she lose her memories like that?  The League could have done something, he supposed.  But if the League had been involved, she’d be dead. So it must be something else, something related to the miraculous was most likely.  A few years ago would put it right around when Hawkmoth was caught and Ladybug and the other miraculous heroes disappeared.

His eyes flicked to her ears.  She wasn’t wearing earrings.  She wasn’t wearing her miraculous.  He reached up toward her ears where they should be, but realized a few centimeters from her what he was doing and pulled back his hand like he’d been stung.  She lost being a hero.  Could the miraculous really do that?  Remove any parts of a memory that related to the miraculous?

“Um, speaking of losing things.  I don’t remember your name,” she prodded shyly.

“Jason.  Jason Todd,” he answered, still somewhat in a daze, still focused on her ears.  

She smiled at the answer, but her lips quickly turned down into a slight frown. The shift caused his hear to stutter. Why was she frowning?  Did his name bring back who he was?  No, that couldn’t be it.  She never knew his name.  So why the frown?  Did she… had she heard of him?  Was she disappointed in him?  Was she scared of him?  Was she aghast at the approach he took to cleaning up Gotham?

The thought pressed against his chest like a vice.  Every decision he’d made since he left her in that park had been touched by her.  Would she approve?  Would she understand?  It didn’t change how he acted… usually.  He still did what he needed to do, what needed to be done.  But the thought was still there.  Would she think he was the evil villain he tried so hard to be?  He knew she would be disappointed, but seeing it reflected on her face was something else.  He steeled himself and rolled his shoulders in false nonchalance. He gave her a forcefully charming smile. “What’s the matter, don’t like the name?”

She quirked her head to the side as she watched him.  Jason braced himself for whatever her next words were going to be. They had to be how disappointed she was in him, right?  Disappointed in what he became.  “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just disappointed.”  

Jason drew in a breath.  There it was. The reaction he was expecting. Even though he knew it was coming it still hurt more than he thought it would.  Why was he letting this person he didn’t even know affect him, damn it! She didn’t even know him.  She had no right!  He tried to meet her eyes so he could deliver a devastating glare, but she was staring ahead blankly.  His eyes softened involuntarily.  That’s why it hurt.  Because she was the best person he’d met, the most forgiving, and if even she thought he was disappointing, he must really be.

“I don’t remember your name,” she continued, oblivious to his reaction.  She looked back up at him with an adorable pout on her soft, pink lips.  “I was so excited that seeing you sparked something.  I guess I was hoping your name might help recover more memories. But my head, you know?”  She tapped her head with her knuckles gently.

Jason gaped at her.  She was disappointed in herself?  Not him? “No!” he cried louder than he meant to, he just couldn’t let her think this was her fault when it had to be some kind of magic.  “You never… you didn’t know my name.  And, I’ve known lots of people with amnesia.  Living in Gotham, people get their heads rattled or hit frequently. Memories are hard.  They don’t come back the way you would think they do. Sometimes they don’t ever come back at all.”

She scrunched her face in confusion.  Her lips turned down sadly.  “But… you knew my name.  And I remember you.”

Jason opened his mouth to try some kind of explanation.  He snapped his mouth shut.  What could he say?  How was he supposed to explain how he knew her?  This is where his years of training in bullshit and condescension would come in handy.  Except he didn’t want to be condescending with her, so just bullshit then.  He sighed heavily.  But he didn’t want to lie to her either, not to her.  She was the one good thing he’d done since the Pits. Helping her was his one saving grace.  “We… we weren’t friends.  We weren’t close.  I honestly have no idea why you would remember me.  I wasn’t a good person.  You knew that.”

She stared at him in surprise.  Her brows furrowed in thought, but she stayed quiet as if waiting for him to elaborate. He opened his mouth again, but snapped it shut again quickly when the sound of gunfire echoed through the museum. Jason’s head immediately snapped to the sound and he moved before he realized it to put himself between Marinette and the doorway.

Marinette sighed at the shots.  Jason whipped around to look at her.  A sigh is definitely not the response he was expecting.  It was not the normal response.  That was much closer to an emotionally damaged response, a tired of life response, a response he had tried to save her from having.  Granted his reaction wasn’t normal either, but he knew why he reacted the way he did.

She shrugged.  “The Walker Emerald,” she explained.  “It’s in the Ancient Art exhibit.”  When he still looked confused, she continued.  “It’s an Incan artifact.  They used emeralds in some of their works.  The Walker Emerald is the largest emerald they’ve found in excavations.  It’s held in place by a solid gold setting.  It’s huge.  They named it for the archaeologist that discovered it.  What bullshit is that?” she grumbled, seeming more upset by that than the gunfire.  “I stayed away from here for weeks after they opened the exhibit because I figured this would happen.  But I thought it would have happened earlier. Guess they were waiting for people to put their guard down and it worked.  I did.”

Jason moved to the doorway and peeked around the corner.  “But why now?  Why during the day when there would be people here?”

“Because security at night is a lot worse for it,” Marinette said as she peeked out next to him.  He grabbed her and pulled her back into the room behind him.  “Just my luck they would do it when I finally visited again.”  She tried to move to the doorway again but Jason pulled her back again with a scowl, moving them further from the door.  She really had no self-preservation instincts.  She rolled her eyes, but didn’t fight him, instead slumping into his side to wait for everything to blow over.  “If you remember me, then you probably already know how bad my luck is.”

He barked out a laugh at the irony.  He stopped immediately when they heard more gunfire and someone behind them call out. Marinette peeked past him again.  She cursed quietly and took off running.  Jason cursed loudly and ran to the doorway just in time to see Marinette slide into the feet of one of the goons, knocking him off his feet and into the goon next to him, knocking him down as well. Before the second guy landed, she’d jumped back up and swept a little boy who had been in their path off his feet. Fuck!  She was still acting like a hero, but without the suit or magic to help her.  

He groaned to himself.  Bad luck his ass.  That was either extreme skill or luck… or both.  But considering she hadn’t thought to follow it up by making sure they couldn’t follow her, if it was skill, it was subconscious remnants of her time as a hero, not something she could pull on at will.  And she probably hadn’t intentionally trained to be able to defend herself, because she didn’t remember being a hero, so why would she.  Which meant she had no self-preservation skills.  She was acting purely on her emotions.  She was going to get herself killed with her good heart. Where was her friend who came here with her?  Why weren’t they protecting her?  Somebody had to, since she clearly wasn’t going to do it herself.

He moved before he thought too hard about it.  The goons were already standing up, guns out and cocked, and had their eyes trained on the statue’s pedestal she was hiding behind.  He punched one in the temple, knocking him out immediately, and grabbed the gun from his hand as he fell.  He pointed the gun at the goon and was about to pull the trigger when he heard the gasp behind him.  He heard Marinette quickly fussing over the kid and telling him not to look. He groaned silently and tightened his grip on the gun.  He couldn’t kill him in front of the kid… or Marinette.  

He motioned to the gun in the goon’s hand and held his hand out.  “You know who I am, yeah?”  The goon nodded slowly.  “Give me your gun and get the fuck out of here and I won’t come after you.”  The goon dropped his gun and backed away, never turning his back on Jason until he was out of the room and rapid footfalls could be heard.

Jason took a breath and slowly let it out to calm himself before moving to Marinette’s truly terrible hiding spot.  He silently reached out for her hand to help her stand and escorted her and the kid back into the room they had been in.  The kid immediately perked up and reached out for a woman in the corner with two other kids.  She thanked Marinette and him with tears running down her face, clutching to the boy like a lifeline before bringing him back to the other two kids and holding them all the same way.

Jason yanked Marinette into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.  He watched the door for any indication they were going to send more goons after them.  After a few seconds he pulled away just enough to look at her.  “Stop doing that!” he whisper yelled.  He pulled them into the corner where they were at least partially hidden by marble statues.  “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“You ran after me,” she pointed out with a roll of her eyes.  “Were you trying to get yourself killed?”

“I… you…” he scowled at her.  He opened his mouth to lecture her more articulately, but snapped it shut again. “Let’s get you somewhere safer,” he gritted out.

She shook her head.  “I’m not leaving them and I already feel safe.  I feel safe with you.  I trust you.”  Jason scoffed at her.  How was she still alive?  Why was her friend not watching her at all times if she was this trusting and bad at judging people?  “I remember you.  You’re the only thing I’ve remembered.  That must mean you were important to me.  You wouldn’t have been important unless you did something I thought was significant. So that means I thought I could trust you.  And I trust myself that I can trust you.”  She smiled confidently at him.

Jason groaned and motioned to himself.  “Do I look like someone you can trust?” he exclaimed as loudly as he felt he could safely.  He may not be in his Red Hood suit right then, but he was definitely dressed in mob boss chic, designed to emanate a powerful asshole vibe and cultivate fear and respect.  

She kept her eyes focused entirely on his, not bothering to take in his carefully crafted vibe. Just staring at his eyes, staring into his soul, and seeking out that part of him that he thought had died years ago. That part the League had trained out of him.  The part the Joker had beaten out of him.  “Yes,” she said immediately and confidently.

He stared at her blankly.  Why would she trust him?  He was untrustworthy.  He was a killer.  He was brutal.  He had cultivated that reputation.  It was well deserved.  Hell, he’d attacked her.  And yet here she was, looking up at him with those big, bright, trusting, blue eyes.  “Okay.” He swallowed hard.  Those blue eyes were more deadly than half the rogues in Gotham.  Those blue eyes could get him to do things nobody else had ever been able to.  

It only took half an hour for the police to clear the museum and let them back out on the street, likely because some of them had been in on the heist in the first place.  It felt strange and unsettling to wait for the police instead of acting.  His skin itched to act in a way other than decking the officer that had been staring at him with distain since he came to tell them they could leave.

He escorted Marinette and the small family to the sidewalk outside and stuck next to them to make sure the police didn’t harass them.  He was determinedly not looking at Marinette, but he could feel her staring at him again.  When he finally looked over at her, he lost his breath for a second.  She was staring at him with such adoration and respect, his lungs couldn’t function correctly.  Jason frowned.  “You've got to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I'm a hero,” he groused.  “I don’t deserve it.  I haven’t earned it.  I’m not a hero.”

Marinette blinked at him a few times and cocked her head to the side curiously.  She smiled sweetly at him.  It seemed vastly out of place considering the situation they were in and yet perfectly in place on her lips.  “You’re that kid’s hero.  And that mom’s… and mine.”

Jason stared back at her breathlessly.  “Look… you don’t remember me.  If you did…  I’m… It’s dangerous to be around me.  I’m dangerous to be around.  You shouldn't be seen with me. It's dangerous for you to even talk to me.”  She smiled softly at him.  “And why are you smiling?  I just told you to go away.”

Her smile got brighter his indignation.  “Because if you were as evil as you seem so intent on convincing me you are, you wouldn't care.  But you do, so you're not.  So I was right.”

“Pixie, you have no idea how hard I worked on my reputation, what I’ve done to deserve it.”

Marinette nodded in faux seriousness.  “Right.  Terrible person that almost died protecting a kid he never met and would do it again in a heartbeat and stayed with us to make sure we were safe.”

“Who intimidated the henchmen out of harming us, because they knew what I could do, because they knew I’m not a good guy.”

Marinette laughed.  She had the audacity to laugh at him.  He was one of the leading crime bosses in the city.  “Oh yeah, okay, Wreck it Ralph.  Whatever you say.  I bet you jaywalk and everything.”

“I do!” he exclaimed throwing his arms out in exasperation.  “I’m going to do it again when I leave here.”  She laughed harder at him.  He stopped and thought about what he just said.  “No.  I mean…”

“Truly terrifying,” she agreed, cutting off his objections, still mocking his seriousness.

Jason hung his head in defeat.  His head snapped up when he heard the batmobile arrive. “And you are safe now.  But, I have to go.”  His eyes stayed on the batmobile, analyzing the threat to him.

“Now?”

He looked back at her with a wry smile.  “Batman and I don’t get along so well.  That should tell you something.”

“It tells me even heroes make mistakes,” she said defiantly.

Jason let out a long suffering sigh, but nodded. “Stay safe, Marinette.”

“Will I see you again?”  Her eyes were brimming with hope, but her voice was fragile.  She tucked a piece of her hair that had come undone while they were escaping behind her ear. Jason’s eyes traced her hand as it moved.  

He hated to kill that in her, but he couldn’t allow her to be in his life.  He couldn’t bring her down like that.  He couldn’t see her again and he couldn’t lie to her.  He opened his mouth to answer her, but got a reprieve. “Marinette!”  She hadn’t bothered to look at the source of the call, keeping her eyes on Jason.  But, the eye contact was broken when she was tackled by a blonde man.  “I came as soon as I saw!  Are you okay?”

Jason disappeared into the crowd before she recovered from the onslaught.  No matter what she believed, he wasn’t good and he wouldn’t be good for her.  He vowed to himself that he wouldn’t look for her. He wouldn’t follow her.  He wouldn’t give any rogues or henchmen in Gotham any indication that she was special to him.  He would protect her in any way that didn’t make her a target.  He gave one last look over his shoulder just catching a last glimpse of her searching the crowd.  He turned away and continued forward.

Chapter 4

Tags:

@jasonette-july-event @jayjayspixiepop @aespades @how-to-function-properly @pawsitivelymiraculous @maribatserver

[stressedoutcanary]

Hold On - Jason Todd x Batgirl!Reader

Summary:

"Hey! I see a vent inside, maybe if we get to the roof-"

BAMMMM

"Of course, just shoot open the lock and alert whoever's inside. What a great strategy! Why didn't I think of it?! Oh I know, because it's dumb!"

Warnings: Language, Canon typical Violence, Occasional Angst lets be real it's Jason we are talking about, Kidnappings..?

Word count: 1.6k

A/N:- I...should be studying right now buttt I had fun writing this and yes, I took the title from the song Hold On by Chord Overstreet, I think it fits this perfectly.

I wasn't going for a series but here we are.

Part 2, Part 3

•°•°•°•°

It was a quite night for Gotham. Every person was busy with their own work and so were you, even if it was a little different from what people down below on the streets were doing. As of yet, you had stopped two muggings, busted a few armed two-face goons trying to rob a bank and were currently running across rooftops.

'Maybeee I can get off easy today, go home, microwave the pizza that has been waiting for me in the fridge, get a nice, warm shower and then straight to bed'

You hummed to yourself at the delightful thought as you sat on a gargoyle overlooking the city. You were enjoying the feeling of the light breeze on your face. It was soothing in a way. Not long after, you were startled by your comms crackling to life out of nowhere as you heard Oracle's automated voice in your ears.

"Batgirl I am going to need you to check out the area near Gotham Central Park for any visible strange activity. There are several missing persons reports filed this week that I have tied up to that particular region."

'So much for a warm bath and a good night's sleep, way to jinx yourself (Y/N), you dumbass'

"Isn't that park under construction or something? You know after the whole Justice League fiasco last month?", you questioned.

"Yep but people still go there, in the mornings for walks and at the nights for certain activities."

"Of course they do, I swear, people here are on a whole different level." You sighed. "Alrighty then Babs, I am on it."

•°•°

After climbing up a couple of fire escapes and swinging off of numerous rooftops you finally reached your target destination. There was a deafening silence when your feet landed on the damp grass. You took in the misted surroundings and decided to look around for something out of the ordinary. There was a broken bright neon sign by the corner of the street which caught your attention, you could only make out the last bit, it spelled Parlor.

'That seems awfully familiar. Something about it is odd but I can't quite place my finger on it'

You were lost in thought when you felt someone move behind you, there was rather little time for you to react so you choose the 'hit first ask questions later' option. You clenched your fist, twisted your upper body and delivered a quick, staggering blow to the shady figure lurking behind.

.

"OWW!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

.

"HOOD?!"

Sure enough, Jason was on the ground clutching his ribs looking like a hurt puppy.

You moved your hands up and massaged you temples. You do not want to deal with him. Not today and if possible not ever. Even though you never let it show, you always avoided a run in with him. He may have become a part of the family again but you were far off from forgiving him.

You watched with narrowed eyes as he got to his feet and and dusted off the grass from his jacket.

"So on a Scale of one to Demon brat, how much do you hate me?", the smirk on his face and the way he wiggled his eyebrows at you almost made you want to smack him with a crowbar yourself.

"What? Dami?! I don't-- I don't hate Damian, he just gets on my nerves sometimes, something you do all the time.", you enjoyed, maybe a little too much, the way Jason's smirk turned into a small pout. You smiled a bit as you shook your head at his childishness.

"Before you start chucking batarangs at me I want to make this clear; No, Oracle did not send me here to be your backup or whatever, I just happen to be investigating the same thing which obviously led me here to you. So how about we work on this together and watch each other's back", Despite the uncertainty of your rejection, he sounded hopeful. It seemed as if he was ready to build the old, worn out bridges of your relationship back up again. It sent an unexpected warmth through your chest.

"Just like old times?"

"Just like old times.", Jason repeated as you both did a rather unsuccessful fist bump and grinned like idiots.

•°•°

You walked up to the seemingly abandoned building, Jason examined the door for traps whereas you decided on taking a look through the glass window.

"Hey! I see a vent inside, maybe if we get to the roof-"

BAMMMM

"Of course, just shoot open the lock and alert whoever's inside. What a great strategy! Why didn't I think of it?! Oh I know, because it's dumb!", you whisper shouted with a scowl. Jason just shrugged and tilted his head to the side, pointing towards the now open door.

"Ladies first, so lead the way, unless you're scared.", it was a playful challenge on Jason's part, one that you were more than ready to accept.

"Oh you're on Red."

You stepped inside and it was all business from there on. You took in the condition of the room; dusty desks, broken glass, oddly placed mannequins and footprints leading up ahead into a long hallway.

"They seem recent enough", Jason gave a slight nod at your discovery.

Considering the darkness of the hallway, you and Jason shared a look and switched on your night vision lenses. You both started taking cautious steps, the occasional soft thud of your boots being the only sound in the vicinity.

The end of the hallway was forked up and there were two rooms at the end of each passageway.

"How is this place so big! it didn't seem this huge from the outside", you could hear the exasperation in Jason's voice. You figured not getting to hit someone might be getting to him or that he was just bored.

"Look I will take the right, you take the left, our comms are already connected, if any one of us finds anything we tell the other and remember we do not engage in a fight alone. Am I clear or do you want me to write that down for you"

"Yes ma'am, but just so you know you are starting to sound like The old man", you rolled your eyes at his comment and went on ahead towards the right as he went the other way.

•°•°

You scrolled through the torn down bookshelf kept in one of the rooms and you were making a mental note in your mind that there were a lot of medical journals in the bunch, when your comms buzzed.

"I am sorry", Jason whispered in a soft voice and you froze for a spilt second, eyes widening.

'No (Y/N) don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he is saying, just focus on finding those missing people and get this over with'

With that thought you tried continuing your investigation as if you had heard nothing.

"I said, I am sorry (Y/N). I know you heard me. I also know you've been avoiding me, cutting me out and you don't have to reply if don't feel like it but...I just wanted you to know..."

"Now is not the right time for this Hood and...for what it's worth I am not looking forward to a forgiveness session with you...", you felt awful for cutting him out the way you did, your heart clenched at the harshness of your words as you clicked off your comms, but you refused to have this discussion right now. If you were being more honest to yourself you just couldn't bear the emotions it would bring, so you chose the easiest way; completely shutting him out.

It was few minutes after the highly uncomfortable talk with Jason that a wall poster had caught your eye. You moved your hand over it, somewhat wiping off the dust, there was something scribbled on it making it harder for you to read the actual text. You squinted, trying to make out the words

"The people need...perfection...and that is what Pretty Dolls Parlor strives to achieve."

You scanned the area near poster for fingerprints and clicked your comms back on.

"Hood, get over here, I found something and I think this is the make or break kind of information", you were waiting for scan to complete, concern creeping up your mind when there was no reply from the other end.

"Red Hood? can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"Red?! Answer me Damnit!!"

A whole lot of Nothing.

As soon as you heard the chime of the scanner signaling its completion, you sped the other way towards the left corridor, towards Jason.

'Jay please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.'

By the time you reached Jason's location you were panting from the lack of breath and were already cursing yourself for bringing Jason along. To say that the man can take care of himself might be an understatement, he is basically a lone wolf, but still the thought of something happening to him while he was with you hurt like hell.

You looked around frantically and almost jumped out of your skin when you stepped on a gun. You heart almost stopped, it was Jason's. To make matters worse, there was no other sign of him or of were he went. You picked up the gun holding it securely in your hand. You could literally hear your heart pounding in your ears.

Suddenly, through the reflection from the glass window in front of you, you caught a glimpse of a man wearing a blank white face mask, you turned around, immediately switching to a fighting stance but that only did so much for you. A flashlight was switched on and shoved near your face, the night vision of your lens intensified the light, blinding you completely.

Before you could react, a metal pole connected straight with the back of your head and just like that you were lights out on the ground.

°•°•°•°•

Author's cute little extra Note:

*wiggling my eyebrows rn*

I might be a little too obsessed with the Arkham Knight game hehe.

Well that ended well for you, didn't it?? Jason's gone missing and you get a nice concussion to garnish your anxiety level? No? Okay I will stop talking now.

Tell me if you want to be tagged for the next parts.💕

[themaribatpit]

Hanging by a Thread: Chapter 4

Rated M: DC canon-typical violence, suggestive threats, alcohol (drink responsibly)

Author’s Note: Thank you to @rebecarojas07 for calmly and patiently trying to explain American things to us in the comments of the last chapter.  

Content Warning: Adrien/Chat Noir salt, mostly references to his actions in Syren, there will also be some Chloe and Lila salt.   All for the purposes of making Marinette’s own self doubt and angst clear.  This is going to be a very angst-heavy chapter, you have been warned.  

Ships: Jason Todd/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon (side ship).

Taglist:

@aespades​, @neakco, @ladybug-182, @seraphichana, @zalladane, @luminous-carrot, @jayjayspixiepop, @cap-noodles, @livelifeauthorstyle, @thepaceperson, @moongoddesskiana, @vroomtaka, @laurcad123,  @prettylittlebutterflie, @twsssmlmaa

Chapter 3 - Chapter 5

Chapter 4

On one of the nights she went out searching, Marinette found the Red Hood perched on a rooftop next to a gargoyle.  A gargoyle that was probably looking a lot less serious than he was at that moment.  There was no doubt as to how they found each other.  It was how they found each other at the warehouse, at the dockyards, and now here on a rooftop. She slowly approached him from behind. “I know you’re behind me.” spoke the Red Hood without turning his head to look behind him. Ladybug froze as the Red Hood addressed her, as if he had eyes on the back of his head.  Ladybug remained silent, unsure of how she should proceed, until Red Hood broke the ice. “Y’know I wonder, how you always seem to find me no matter what. It’s almost as if you have some kind of Me Detector.”  Ladybug stuttered, trying to think of an answer. She grew silent and looked down. He looked towards her ”You don't have to answer, I figured it out. You can see the red thread that ties us together as well, right?” she nodded her head.    “Only way you seem to find me each time. I’ve been able to see it for as long as I can remember, what about you?” He asked. 

“Me too, I was always able to see it, and it went grey when you...” Marinette said, as if she still found it hard to believe that such a thing could happen to someone.  “Did anyone ever tell you how I died?” he asked. Marinette looked away, as she tried to hide the look on her face.  “Yes,” she answered meekly.  She sighed and shook her head, trying to remember why she went looking for him at all.  She took a couple of steps closer towards him.  “What matters is I wanna help,” she said. “Why? You don’t even know half of what I’ve been through.”  he growled, he turned to face her.  His helmet was still on, but his low harsh voice made his emotions very clear at that moment.

“Then tell me,” she said calmly, “trust me I’ve dealt with people who gave into their negative emotions, I can help you.” She had come too far to give up now, and she wasn’t about to turn back over something that she could help him with.  “Not like this,” he said, “listen to me when I say the boy you got matched with died that night.  He died because he was an idiot, who got himself killed by a psychotic clown.”  Was she supposed to turn back and abandon him now? Should she have just settled for someone else back in Paris?  The answers were no and absolutely not.  The person who stood before her might not have been the person she had imagined her soulmate to be, but she didn’t have the heart to abandon him now.  She could help him, whatever it was she was sure that she could find a way to help him, maybe with Tikki and Plagg’s help.  If what she was told about him was true, then he surely understood what they both went through in the past.  They both became crime fighters at a young age, they were thrust into situations where the fate of their world rested on their shoulders.  They were alike in a lot of ways that neither of them realised.  

"Please tell me, let me help you Jason." she begged.

"Do. Not. Call. Me. That." He growled and stomped towards Ladybug, their faces mere centimetres apart. "So who was it that told you? Was it Dick? Babs? The old man?"

Jason knew it would take a lot more than that to push her away, but he had to.  Even as Robin was still inside him,  railing against the bars that kept that part of him caged.  But he was dead in every meaningful sense of the word, and in his place was a cursed monster.  For both their sakes, he was trying to keep Ladybug at arm’s length, he was nothing like the gaudy rogues gallery she dealt with back in Paris.  A part of him wanted her help, but he doubted that neither she nor her fairy pals had any idea what they were dealing with.  To top it off, she was probably already under the Bat clan’s protection.  They weren’t even on the same side, so that added another complication into their already tangled bond.  He looked up at her and there it was again, that wide eyed sad look on her face.  Jason tried not to look at it for too long, no matter how much it made his heart ache to do so.  “What would it take for you to leave me alone?” he asked, “Want me to cut my own foot off?”

“I’m not even sure it’s that easy,” she said “I was always told that it will stretch and tangle, but never break.  That and it goes grey if one of us dies, that’s all I know.” “Look, I don’t wanna hurt you, Pixie,” he told her, “even I have limits.”. “Oh yeah? And what are they?  Am I just small fry to you, is that it?” she asked, Ladybug looked away as tears began to form in her eyes.  “Are you just disappointed to find out that I’m your soulmate?”

Marinette had come too far only to be told no, and no one has given her a clear answer as to why she couldn’t help him.  It seemed to be something more than the fact that he was a crime boss.  What brought her here in the first place was the fact that their soulmate bond had reignited.  It was truly at that moment where the two sides of herself felt like they were merging.   Marinette was trying to make sense of what everyone was telling her.  There was a reason why even he was refusing to let her at least try to help him. Ladybug would have been able to fix this problem in no time at all, while Marinette was on a gargoyle adorned rooftop begging her soulmate to let her help him.  

She barely noticed that the Red Hood was suddenly standing very close to her, she felt a gloved hand tilt her chin up to look at him.  She was still looking into the two white lights in his helmet.  “Do yourself a favour, and get as far away from here as you can.” he told her in a low but gentler voice, “I’m telling you this because you’re my soulmate, I don’t want you getting hurt because of me. You got that?” he let go of her and turned away, going back to the spot he was perched on. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” she said whilst on the verge of tears, and with a twirl of her yo-yo she swung away into the night. Jason tried to ignore the ache in his chest, he was telling himself that he had to keep her away from him.  He was already used to not being trusted, but at that moment her sincerity and kindness were just too much for him.  There were other people out there who were far more deserving of it.  If she got too close to him, too close to the flame that was only stoked by the Lazarus pit, she would only get burned.  He already knew he would never forgive himself if she got hurt, their soulmate bond would probably just end up adding salt to that wound.  In a way he was starting to see why they were bound together, that’s what made it hurt even more.  They were very different people, that much was obvious. Maybe the divine being that bound them together thought it would be funny in a “opposites attract” kind of way.  Unfortunately for him, one of the things they had in common was that they were both very stubborn people.  That became clear when he realised it would take a whole lot more to get her to stay away from him. Over the next few days, Marinette threw herself into her design work, trying to take her mind off of her encounters with her soulmate.  Tikki was looking increasingly worried as she avoided talking about it, preferring to stay up all through the night working on her design projects.  Her designs tended towards soft fabrics and pastel colours. It was possible this was an attempt to avoid thinking about a certain someone who wore a red helmet and was dressed in Kevlar and leather. 

One night, Marinette got a text from Zoe, telling her that they were going out drinking with some friends.  She invited Marinete to join her, and she thought a night out would help take her mind off things.  As she looked through her wardrobe for something to wear, Tikki tried to approach her.  “Marinette, we need to talk,” she said, looking over at Plagg who was more interested in devouring the slice of camembert that Marinette had given him. ”You’ve been busy lately, and I just wanted to know if you were okay.” she said.

“I’m fine, what’s there to talk about?” Marinette said flippantly, holding the two different dresses up to her body as she decided which one to wear.  She didn’t want to talk about her soulmate, or even the mountain of work that she had just completed.  She wanted to go out and have some fun with her friends.  

“It’s just that you seemed distraught by what happened, we tried to warn you not to get your hopes up...” Tikki began. “I’m fine,” Marinette said in a harsher tone of voice, “I don’t want to talk about it.” “Marinette, it's probably for the best, we...”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it!” Marinette snapped, “I came all this way to find my soulmate, only to find that my soulmate doesn’t want anything to do with me.  You were right Tikki, I should have just stayed home in Paris, is that what you wanted to hear?” Tikki looked to Plagg for help, but Plagg didn’t say anything in response.  “Listen Marinette, maybe whoever tied you two together made a mistake. Maybe this Red Hood is right and it will only end in tragedy. ” “Choosing me to wield the Ladybug Miraculous, hell, choosing me as your Guardian could have also been a mistake. Did you think of that?” Marinette argued.

“That was different, you proved yourself to be worthy of the Miraculous.” Tikki piped up, “This boy...”

“What? I’m good enough to wield magic jewelry but I’m not good enough for a guy who isn’t Chat Noir?” Marinette argued. “No!” Tikki cried, “I meant that this person might not be worthy of you.  Our magic, it did something to him, Marinette.  I can sense it, I can’t quite put my finger on it but something is wrong here.”

“I know, I have spent my teenage years fighting people who have been turned into supervillains because of their negative emotions!  Why should this be any different?” Marinette yelled.  “I managed to do it mostly by myself, with a partner who would rather spend most of the battle joking around and getting in the way!”  Marinette was getting heated, but she had far too much pent up emotion to care at that moment.  “And the way he would go on and on about us being soulmates, I hated it. Now I hate it even more because now I know for certain that he was wrong.” Marinette recalled. If she was still in Paris, she might worry about an Akuma finding her in this state.  

“You became a hero to help those people! It’s why you were suited to become a Guardian.” Tikki said.  Marinette wondered what good those powers were to her now? What was the point in being a hero who couldn’t save people? “I wouldn’t know,” Marinette spat bitterly, “right now I just remember you telling me that I had to be the perfect Ladybug, and an even better Guardian.”  It was true in a way, she already knew that Ladybug was perfect while Marinette was not.  Ladybug was confident, strong, and smart, she was able to save the day with nothing but her wits and whatever tool Tikki gave her to improvise with.  Marinette was the one who got bullied by Chloe and Lila, and Adrien did nothing to stop them.  Their adoration for Ladybug added salt to the wound, at times it almost made Marinette despise her other persona.  “You don’t mean that,” Tikki said before she turned to Plagg, “Plagg, say something, please.” she begged. “I mean, she certainly took it a lot more seriously. One time Chat Noir threatened to take off his Miraculous if I didn’t tell him a secret Ladybug was keeping at the time.” he said flippantly, before devouring the last of the cheese.  “Only thing that stopped him was Master Fu showing up with a potion.” He recalled, there was a silence that followed.  Plagg looked up and saw the two of them staring back at him.  Tikki looked shocked by the revelation, while Marinette looked absolutely livid.  “So I couldn’t do anything, step one foot out of line without you,” she pointed at Tikki, “breathing down my neck about being perfect.” she said in a harsh voice that was seething with rage, “Meanwhile, Chat Noir threatened to just toss the Miraculous aside and Plagg drew the line at being blackmailed into revealing a secret that was not mine to tell?”  Marinette’s fists were clenched tightly, her knuckles were bone white, and Tikki was a little afraid of her. “Marinette, please...” Tikki begged. “No,” Marinette growled, as she took off the Ladybug earrings and slammed them into the Miracle Box. She didn’t want to hear what Tikki had to say to her at that moment.  She was going to go out and have a nice night with her friends, where she wouldn’t have to think about any of this.  She stuffed them back into the box, before she looked over at the pink and white polka dotted dress that was strewn over her bed.  

There were two kinds of people who went to bars that didn't card: college students and legally dead people.  Jason was in the latter group, and long before that, he knew the location of every bar in Gotham that wouldn't card him.   Right now, he was trying to enjoy a few cold beers by himself.   It was usually quiet, he could sit, drink and drown out the the memory of the sad look in his soulmate's eyes whenever it flashed in his mind.  It was probably for the best, at least that's what Jason told himself.  Even if she was a superhero herself, what worried him the most was showing her the full force of what the Lazarus pits turned him into.  He didn't even think her fairy friends knew about that, the League of Assassins certainly didn't see it coming.

A small group of college aged girls made their way into the bar.  Out of the corner of his eye, the group looked like they were about to form a rainbow.  He heard a mixture of English, French and Italian bubbling from their little group. He looked over to see that among them, there was a brunette dressed all in black and grey,  a blonde with dyed pink streaks in her hair, and a dark haired girl in a pink dress.  They were a colourful bunch of people, probably Gotham University students on a night out.  One of them went to go and get the first round of drinks while the others gathered round a table in a separate booth.   Sometimes Jason would look over and his eyes would fall on the girl in the pink dress, who was now holding a glass of wine in her hand.  He told himself it was because she happened to be facing towards him.  If he stared too long, the blonde next to her might notice and point it out to her.  So he looked away, taking a deep drink from his own bottle.  

Zoe’s invitation couldn't have come at a better time.  Marinette drank deeply from her wine glass, as she tried to enjoy herself and drown out the argument she had with Tikki.  She took her role as Ladybug and Guardian of the Miraculous seriously, it infuriated her that the person she considered her partner didn't feel the same way.   She tried to drown out the possibility that not only had Master Fu chosen wrong, but that whoever had chosen her soulmate had too.  At the very least, her soulmate seemed to think so too.  Maybe it would be easier to throw the Miracle Box into Gotham Bay and hope that it would take her memories with it.

By the time Marinette was a couple of glasses deep into her efforts, Zoe leaned in to whisper something to Marinette.  "That guy's been staring at you for the past 15 minutes now." Zoe told her.  Marinette was pulled from her thoughts, as she looked over at Zoe.  

"What guy?" Marinette asked.

"Okay don't look now, but he's literally right in front of you." Zoe told her, "I'm sure he'll buy you another glass of wine if you bat your eyelashes at him."  Marinette playfully pushed Zoe away.  As she took another sip of wine, she looked over the rim of her glass at the guy Zoe pointed out to her.  Across the room, she could see the guy had dark hair framing a very sharp and angular face.  He wore a leather jacket, dark jeans and a t-shirt, he was certainly handsome, she'll give him that.  She wasn't going to just walk right up to him and ask him to buy her a drink.  

"He looks all right," Marinette said, trying to ignore Zoe's raised eyebrow.

Just as the other guy was getting ready to buy another drink, Zoe saw her chance.  She grabbed Marinette by the shoulders and pushed her towards the guy staring at her.  As the two ploughed towards the bar, people stepped back to give them a clear path towards the man sitting by the counter. 

Jason turned back around, curious at the ruckus behind him. Both Marinette and Jason froze as their eyes met, the two looked down to see the red string of fate. Zoe took this as a good sign, maybe this was love at first sight. As the two remained silent, Zoe nudged Marinette. When that didn't work, she dragged Marinette by the wrist and sat her down on the nearby stool.  Zoe then gave Marinette a light tap on the shoulder, a wink and a thumbs up before going back to her group of friends.

[stxleslyds]

LET’S TALK ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN #20 (2011).

And the issues that followed that story (Batman and Robin vol.2 #34-37)

DC and the fandom really let Bruce get away with what he did to Jason in that issue. DC because they had Jason go back to Bruce a few issues later to finish their story and the fandom because this moment in comics isn’t talked about enough which has led people to believe that the the concept of “batfamily” as it is in fandom belongs in canon.

This type of moments in stories should make a bigger impact on comic relationships and fandom’s perception of said relationships. From where I am standing Bruce’s actions in that issue are right on the edge of unforgivable and they could have used them as a key moment for Jason to finally move on from all Bat related bullshit without thinking that he had to stay and finish the job (of getting Damian back).

Making Jason move on so easily from that situation really makes it look like if Batman is physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive to his children then it’s not that much of a big deal, it’s just a subplot to a bigger story.

And that is something that happens repeatedly in current comics and it’s disgusting.

Anyway, now that I am done with my rambling, I will start talking about the issues that I mentioned.

Batman and Robin (2011) #20 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

For a little context, this issue is set after Damian’s death and Bruce is looking for ways to resurrect him.

And in this particular issue of this run, Batman recruits Jason Todd between the events of RHatO vol. 1 #18 and #19, that’s why in the cover of the issue the name of the run is changed to ‘Batman and Red Hood’.

A bit more context is that in issue #18 Jason finally recovers from the injuries that he got when the trap that Joker had put on his helmet detonated, and Jason was also having an existential crisis after the Joker convinced him that he was always present in Jason’s life and that he shaped the man that Jason had become (If you want to read more about that and the times' Joker has played with Jason’s mind, I have this post in which I talk all about that).

Good, now I can finally talk about this hellish issue.

Bruce asks for Jason’s help because he wants to take down some marksmen and women that are based in Ethiopia that might or might not have been the same people who took on the job of looking for Damian when his mother had put a bounty on his head.

One would imagine that Bruce calling Jason for this job means that he would let Jason kill some people, bounty-hunters that are money-driven enough to kill children seem to be the kind of people Jason would have in his black list, but Jason is smart and he knows that Batman won’t let him kill so he asks why is Bruce asking him of all people to join him on this mission, Batman replies with “Because I am seeing red”.

If you, like me, don’t understand why Batman would ask the Red Hood to stop him from killing some very shady people then don’t worry, Batman was lying, he didn’t ask Jason to go with him to beat some bounty-hunters, he has ulterior motives.

I will give it to Tomasi, he wrote Jason as the smart cookie that he is because Jason doesn’t stop picking up on the weird technicalities of the mission, and I will go as far as to say that Jason never truly believed that Bruce was being honest about the true nature of their mission. Smart Chonky, I miss you and love you.

Once they get to Ethiopia Bruce starts setting the rules of engagement (don’t shoot to kill, only hands, knees, and elbows), and off they go. Bruce even makes a comment about how it “feels like old times” and Jason is all happy and warm that Bruce invited him to beat some baddies and he also brings up the fact that Bruce stayed by his side while he was recovering from his injuries, very lovely stuff that will soon mean nothing (and that should have meant nothing because Bruce and his lies had resulted in Joker knowing all of their secret identities and messing with all of them in horrible ways, but the Bat can get away with that too).

Here is part of Bruce’s speech about trust and his lies, “You don’t ever need to thank me, Red Hood, for a family always looks out for each other” to which Jason says, “Yeah but a family also needs to earn each other’s trust” and Bruce continues his speech with, “comes a time when having to keep earning someone’s trust stops and you hope the people you’ve put your faith in will always have your back no matter what”.

Batman, everyone, master detective and master manipulator.

As Batman is talking manipulating Jason he beats every bounty hunter almost effortlessly because he had brought some bat-gadgets that were going to make the fight really easy. And as the fight is over in what looks like a minute Batman and Red Hood get on the Batmobile ready to leave Ethiopia… or not.

Jason is very aware that Batman didn’t need him for that so-called mission so he starts to ask more and more firmly about the real reason as to why Batman brought him to this place.

Batman brought Jason back to Ethiopia, but most importantly back to the Magdala Valley because he wants to see if Jason going back to the place where he died will make him remember how he was resurrected.

Yep, talk about having messed-up parents. Bruce is positively the worst at this moment, but it gets worse.

Jason is rightfully pissed off, he says, “You lied to me, this wasn’t about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here, to the worst place in the world and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith...”

To which Bruce says, “I thought bringing you here could jog your memory, maybe retrieve a detail buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came back to life so I…”

And my man Jason really continues his thought process only to later tell him how much of a piece of shit he truly is (I love this Chonky, go Jason show this man that he ain’t shit).

“…could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah, I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I’ve been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies, Bruce, but I’m done looking back!”

Jason, bravo, tell him exactly how you feel! Any sort of good human being would surely accept that they crossed a massive line and that they should ask for forgiveness next, right?... Right?

No. And that’s because Bruce is a horrible human being, I am sorry but it had to be said, this man has zero empathy for Jason and he proves it when he says the following.

“If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see, there is a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of MY life, Jason! You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back”

Fuck Bruce Wayne. This man has no right whatsoever to talk this way to Jason, no matter how you see this situation, the whole thing is fucked up. Bruce puts his needs above Jason’s feelings and he diminishes Jason’s position as his son because Bruce only refers to Damian as his son. This whole thing is incredibly nasty.

Here we should have had the point of no return for Jason and Bruce’s relationship, although if you are like me, you might think that the point of no return happened way back in Batman (1940) #650 when Bruce decided that saving the Joker by throwing a batarang at Jason’s neck (how did he know that Jason would survive that, I have no idea, maybe Bruce can see the future) was a better option compared to Jason finally killing the clown. Because that’s the thing, Jason was going to kill the clown but Bruce didn’t let him because he didn’t want more blood in Jason’s hands, I laugh until this day about how stupid Bruce’s thinking was there.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that Jason should have said bye-bye to Batman and all related Batman crap from this moment on. It would have been perfect but DC can’t help themselves and Lobdell’s self-insert-Jason really wants to be part of this amazing family so, no luck for Jason or us.

If you have read my latest post about Joker getting under Jason’s skin or read issue #18 of RHatO you know the context of what Jason says next.

“Yeah, and how about me? How about the gift of not knowing that the Joker manipulated my entire life, huh? The clown tainted everything, the good, the bad, hell my life’s even been tainted by you!”

Yup, Jason was going through it, and he had talked about these feelings with Bruce previously in issue #17 of RHatO, he had asked Bruce if he thought that Joker had created him and Bruce said, “No Jason, He didn’t make you, I never did either. You made you” and Jason was extremely thankful for that. And now, here we are, these feelings are being brought up again but in a very different situation.

Them arguing becomes a physical fight and after Jason asks Bruce “why are you making me stand in the exact same spot he beat me to death?” He replies this “Because I want to watch Damian grow up damn it! Damian earned that right! And I want to give it to him!”

This conversation only gets worse and Bruce’s most horrible side comes to light, like, I understand that Bruce wants Damian to be alive and all that but he is saying all the wrong stuff to Jason. I feel like as the reader I am being told that Bruce values Damian more than he ever did Jason because he is willing to put Jason through his own personal hell for Damian but refuses to see the reasons as to why Jason doesn’t want to do it. Bruce is being incredibly selfish and he is not caring enough about Jason to notice that he is hurting him. He even doesn’t notice after Jason says, “I was ready to stand by your side and you’ve thrown it all away!”

It is incredibly sad but it's also a bit of a look into what Bruce will do to Dick in Nightwing vol. 3 #30. It has the exact same vibe in both issues, Bruce going completely berserk on his children and telling them that he “trained them to be better”.

This issue ends with Jason punching Bruce several times and Bruce taunting Jason by telling him that he might as well continue because he is “still standing”. The levels of manipulation that Bruce had going on here weren’t as high as the ones in Nightwing #30 but he sure was a little bitch every step of the way.

Jason, being smart, doesn’t take the bait and tells Bruce that he is leaving and he is taking the car.

Wouldn’t this have been an amazing moment for Jason to finally rid himself of all Batman-related events and bullshit? How did DC miss this amazing opportunity to make Jason Todd/Red Hood a character that can stand on his own and with his own rules?

The potential that was wasted when they made Jason go back to Bruce and help him get Damian back in issues 33 to 37 of this same run is immeasurable. And just like Joker being able to get under Jason’s skin, him going back to Bruce and the “family” for plot purposes harmed Jason’s characterization greatly.

Batman and Robin (2011) #34-37 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

Whatever kind of respect I held for Tomasi because of the way he wrote Jason in #20 is now gone. Issues 34 to 37 have Jason fighting alongside Batman and him being all buddy-buddy with him.

Now, let me make something clear, Bruce wanting to bring Damian back to life/from Apokolips is absolutely fine with me, a father fighting for his son’s life can always make a good story, the thing is that at this point in time not only the events of Batman and Robin #20 have happened but so have the events of Nightwing #30.

So, Bruce going through all of this for one of his kids (that keeps being brought up as if he were his only son) after he emotionally manipulated Jason and Dick makes this story very bitter.

But I understand what DC is doing, you know? Here is how they manage to make this story as bitter-sweet as possible. In issue 34 of this run, Dick shows up in his Spyral get-up and offers his help in getting Damian back, because the kid meant a lot to him but Bruce can’t have Dick helping him out along with Barbara and Tim because Bruce has everyone convinced that Dick is dead. So, DC was like “here is this big brain idea, let’s have Jason, Barbara, and Tim helping Bruce get Damian back”. And that’s exactly what they did.

They dragged Jason back to Batman-related crap after he was manipulated, insulted, and punched by the man that is supposed to be his father. And this issue is also happening after Jason had such an immense existential crisis that he decided to have his memory wiped so he could cleanse himself on any doubt that the Joker had manipulated his free will.

How on earth are we supposed to believe that Jason is dumb enough to go back to Batman after all that? Does DC and its writers read their own material? Do they check if the characters that they are planning on using have contradicting narratives?

It’s so messy, the opportunity that DC, Tynion, Tomasi, and Lobdell got to make Jason his own man and his own character was completely wasted, just for a Batman event!

And it isn’t like Jason’s participation in getting Damian back was crucial, it really wasn’t, if I am planning on taking a team of heroes to Apokolips for a rescue mission, Jason, Barbara and Tim wouldn’t be my first options. Jason was put in that book only so they could have someone making snarky comments and for Jason to be like “Bruce we are family, we will always have each other’s backs” I mean, who is Jason supposed to be, Dom Toretto?

Here are some of the moments that seemed the most out of touch for Jason in these issues.

Batman and Robin #34

In issue 34 Bruce gives a long speech about him not wanting to hide things anymore from them (like he did during the events of Death of the Family) and that he wants a new start because they “have been broken long enough” so from that moment forward “good or bad, the truth rules”.

The audacity of this man, my god, how dense can Bruce be? “we’ve been broken long enough”? YOU have broken your relationship with these people time and time again! As you are standing there talking about the truth you are hiding the fact that Dick is alive and well somewhere far away because YOU sent him on a very dangerous mission after he died and you manipulated him.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT! Am I becoming an anti-Batman blog? I think I am and quite honestly, I am having the time of my life. Fuck this guy.

But back to the issue, after Bruce says that the truth is all that goes now, Barbara basically says that she doesn’t believe him, that all it takes for Bruce to go back to lying is “another situation that justifies you going dark on us in more ways than one” HA! You go, girl! But he is already hiding something from all of you.

Jason being himself supplies a situation like the ones where Batman lies to them in order to get them to work for him, he says, “or bringing me to Magdala Valley on a sightseeing trip to reminisce about the good old days of crowbars and explosions”, ah yes, sure, Bruce did all that back in issue 20 and now it is brought up as an afterthought… how wonderful.

Bruce, of course, lies to their faces when he says “I promise that nothing gets held back. We speak our mind no matter what the cost” to which Jason says “Unconditional truth now and forever, Bruce, otherwise this is all a load of crap”.

AND IT IS! IT IS ALL A LOAD OF CRAP CHONKY! RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Man, what a mess, poor Dick. He had to wait there and watch his father lie his ass off. And he really wanted to help Bruce get Damian back. Even after Bruce told Dick (as well as Barbara, Tim, and Jason) that he had to go to Apokolips alone Dick still helped Bruce in other ways, Dick really is the MVP, what a man, I love him so much!

(I really needed to show my love for Dick right then and there, sometimes you just have to do it. Dick Grayson is, after all, the greatest comic character to have ever been created).

Batman and Robin #36

First of all, seeing Jason and Barbara wearing the Robin symbol really makes me laugh. It’s just weird to see Barbara wear it, it almost feels like it’s something that shouldn’t have happened and in Jason’s case, well, the last time he wore it he died and it’s kinda funny to see beefy and tall Red Hood wearing a Robin symbol, it’s just funny not a critique.

What I am going to critique from this issue is that after they (Jason, Barbara, and Tim) go to Apokolips and find Bruce they say, “You’re here in this hellish place for your son, Bruce” and Jason continues that with, “And we’re here for you”.

Ah, the irony. Of all people, having Jason say that to Bruce is wild. This man has done nothing for Jason and here Jason is, in Apokolips, of all places, to help a man that does not deserve it. This is proof that Jason is a good man but its also proof that he is an idiot in the New 52, I am sorry but come on, writing Jason this way after what Bruce did to him in issue 20 seems like DC is confirming the fact that even though Batman does the most horrible stuff to his kids, he can still get away with it because his kids still love him all the same.

I understand, loving your parents when they are flawed but Bruce had been written at this time like an abusive father, and he was written like that towards Jason and Dick, so it is not a good look. Bruce saying that he promises that he won’t do it anymore isn’t enough DC, make the man pay for being that way, make his kids stay away from him for a while (or forever).

And here is the other thing, I say that Bruce is Jason and Dick’s father but DC doesn’t, they only acknowledge Damian as Bruce’s son and they do it because the New 52 timeline is non-existent. After all, they deleted a lot of history from these characters, I think it’s fair to assume that Bruce never adopted Dick or Jason and that both of them were Robin for a very short time. What I am trying to say with this is that not only is Bruce getting away with being abusive but he is also getting away with being an abusive father. Because Bruce is their father, at least I see it that way, he isn’t just his friend/mentor/tutor he is their father. He used to be before New 52 and that’s not something that we as the readers are ready or want to let go of.

All in all, Jason didn’t do much in these issues thus confirming (to me, at least) that the only reason he was invited to the party was because they couldn’t use Dick. And that’s an insult to Jason’s character, it would have been better if Jason didn’t appear in this story and he actually had the chance to do something else, like go back to being the proper Red Hood, an anti-hero that does what Batman won’t do for Gotham and its people.