#jared hopworth is canonically sexy

[mothsalami]

rip Jared and all of his fucked up plants </333, he would have loved Body by mother mother

[theradioghost]

A list of characters that do not deserve to have sexy fan interpretations but do so nonetheless

now see the constraint to characters that I have seen interpreted as sexy is what makes this interesting

jonah magnus: this includes depictions of slimy bastard man while wearing elias bouchard, not just jonah-magnus-as-jonah-magnus but I refuse to refer to him AS elias bouchard because Identity Theft Is Not A Joke, Jim

peter lukas: no. awful.

marcus cutter and miranda pryce: because I have not forgotten the sins of wolf 359 fandom and these two are absolutely Rancid! no one sexy here!

warren kepler: i’ve watched the q&as I know the creators think he looks sexy but I don’t care they’re wrong

alexander hilbert: god I wish I could forget what I’ve seen

jared hopworth: only minor tma avatar whose representation as sexy I will actively object to. don’t give me that line about him having a nice jawline either, we BOTH know that wasn’t his jawline

trexel geistman: this one’s a crime. that man is fucking a dead fish do not draw him sexy. if anyone who hasn’t listened to stellar firma reads this i’m so sorry please don’t ask me to explain this

static man: does not deserve it in the sense that he deserves better ... do not objectify him just let him be a geometrically impossible construct of blue static and teeth who has bad opinions about anime

chet whickman: person who drew sexy chet whickman, you know who you are and you know what you did

fucking doctor fucking howard fucking young: incorrect.

rudyard funn: no, it is the canon that is wrong

[allegedlyxen]

Rating the magnus archives fears by how hot their avatars are!

the eye: i’m only going off of jon because he’s the archivist but in my brain s1 jon was a tired gremlin, man did not sleep. s5???? very hot, shaved head and an endless amount of love for his bf and we love a healthy relationship in this household, 8/10.

the vast: Simon fairchild’s voice do be kinda hot doe, he reminds me of like every post describing boarding school and dark academia.points deducted because i’m pretty sure he’s old as fuck.5/10

the desolation: Agnes Montegue is so pretty.i know she doesn’t look like this in canon but when i picture her i see merida from brave, i too would risk my life to kiss her. 10/10

the buried: every avatar of the buried is an old grave digger. 0/10 too much dirt

the corruption: Jane Prentiss is a solid 9/10 and i only deducted points because of the fact that she fills people with bugs

the lonely: peter lukas is an old sea captain and i can only picture him in a big, bright, and yellow raincoat + hat. 4/10 Lonely Eyes is a funny ship

the stranger: Nikola Orsinov was a queen, androgynous goals. 7/10 she’s the reason tim’s dead so points off

the slaughter: Melanie King gouged out her own EYES to get away from the institute. can you imagine the willpower needed for that? 12/10 id let her stab me any day

the dark: Manuela is probably pretty cute but i doubt you’d ever really see her because she’s an avatar of the dark. 5/10

the hunt: i’ve expressed my attraction to julia montauk but i will do it again! she literally has that “i’d kick your ass” energy and i love it. plus you cannot convince me she is not a bi QUEEN. 20/10

the end: Oliver Banks objectively terrifies me, but i’d imagine he’s pretty cute despite the fact that he constantly looks like he’s never slept and smells like death. 4/10

the flesh: Jared Hopworth also objectively terrifies me but he is the funniest fuckin villain and i love it. plus he’s like 5x the size of a normal dude and his skin has to be soft if it’s constantly shifting so he’s probably good at cuddling! 7/10 you can have my bones

the web: Annabelle Cane is a manipulative queen and she knows it, 8/10 please no spiders

the spiral: 1000/10 Michael Shelley deserved better. moving on!

Bonus!

whatever breekon and hope were: 100/10 they only had each other and that’s very sexy of them

[nyapetaleijon]

1. Entity you serve: eye bc thirst for knowledge also eye imagery sexy

2. Entity that would consume you: i guess if were reading this as "thing youre most afraid of" itd be corruption or web bc bugs icky. also MAG 172 fucked me up.

3. Entities that would mark you: lonely and maybe desolation?

4. Top 5: MAG 33, 80, 100, 111, and then 158 and 160 are tied. in order of release date, not preference.

5. Fave Avatars: Jon, Oliver Banks, Agnes Montague

6. Fave regulars: Georgie, Jon, The Admiral, Sasha, GERRY

7. Fave lesser known character: The narratot of Boatswain's Call

8. Fave object: The calliope organ. I already have so much music stuck in my head, what's a little more?

9. Least fave character: Jane Prentiss or Jared Hopworth. Body horror really doesn't do it for me.

10. Episode that hooked me: MAG 2 Do Not Open

11. Favorite canon ship: What the Girlfriends

12. Favorite noncanon ship: JonGerryMartin. Gerry deserved better.

TMA QUESTIONNAIRE

Cuz I’m bored. Please reblog with your answers.

1. Entity you serve

2. Entity that would consume you

3. Enities that would mark you.

4. Top 5 episodes

5. Fave Avatars

6. Fave regular character(s)

7. Fave lesser known character(s)

8. Fave object/artifact

9. Least fave character

10. Episode that hooked you.

11. Favorite canon ship

12. Favorite non canon ship