allegedlyxen

[allegedlyxen]

my biggest red flag is that im a lesbian who likes boobs and whenever im watching a show with obvious fanservice and all the girls have their massive tits hanging out of their bras being held together by string, my first reaction isnt to go "god im so tired of all this oversexualization of women". i go WOOOOO BOOBIES !!!!!!!!!

[allegedlyxen]

eat my rocks boy

[allegedlyxen]

[allegedlyxen]

I didn’t do the cosplay just for the meme….

Flying to Italy and finding the exact field to recreate the picnic scene was pretty amazing. The costume took me a month to make 😮‍💨 it was so nice to shoot it in THE field!!

[allegedlyxen]

breakfast’s ready

[allegedlyxen]

this is scarier than any david lynch film

[allegedlyxen]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

[allegedlyxen]

hot autistic adult women are always saying they're doing fine really and everyone is nice to them and they just need to figure out a few little things and then everything will be perfect

[allegedlyxen]

This made me laugh. At least he’s honest about how awful he is.

[allegedlyxen]

they should add a new effect to hormones after like 5 years. like okay you got the soft skin and lightened hair and grew boobs and you can cry easier. now you have unlocked “featherfall”

[allegedlyxen]

"i'm gay", "i'm straight" okay and??? I am the serpent that shall poison the sky and boil the sea?? The land shall freeze eternal as yog-sothoth beckons us hence?? whose voice i heard when first we built the track so long ago??

[allegedlyxen]

[allegedlyxen]

I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:

(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)

[allegedlyxen]

[allegedlyxen]

just had an absolutely atrocious thought

[allegedlyxen]

"Top dog" implies the existence of "bottom dog.” This is a service that I am willing to provide.