#janus sanders (briefly)

[edupunkn00b]

The Flirt, The Perv, and the Sarcast

Virgil had it bad for his three roommates. His three roommates in a committed relationship with each other. The worst part? Each of their little quirks made it hard for Virgil to keep telling himself he didn't have a chance. The best part? He's one hundred percent wrong.

Written for @jinxunzel as part of @tss-camp-and-coffee's Camp Cartoon writing event - WC: 1728 - Rated: G - CW: pining, fluff, a low detail panic attack, happy ending - More of my Camp stories

“Hey, Babes, is this lap free?” Remy smirked up at him from the lap he was asking about then spread out on the couch. Head warm and comfortably heavy on Virgil’s thighs, Remy moved just enough to sip his ever present iced coffee, seemingly waiting for an actual response, if not permission.

“Um—“ Wow, brilliant locution. Did Logan teach you that?—“No, well, I guess maybe now it is?”

“Damn right it is,” he grinned and tucked his coffee close to the edge of couch then turned to face the t.v.. “So, what are we watching?”

Anything you want.

Remy’s hair, dyed raven black, glowed under the light of the conspiracy video on the screen. A lock of it fell across his forehead and Virgil had to grip the armrest to keep himself from reaching out and brushing it back ever so gently.

That was the kind of thing a boyfriend might do. And Remy was not his boyfriend. But Remy had asked him a question.

“Uh, this guy.” Arm flailing, he gestured at the screen in an attempt to drag his mind back from dangerous paths. “He debunks all those 'aliens built the pyramids' conspiracies.”

“Hmmm,” Remy turned and looked up him. He’d taken off his sunglasses and his coffee-brown eyes looked right through his soul. “But you like conspiracy theories. Or are we hate watching?”

“We—well, yeah.” He hoped to the god Remy didn’t catch his voice crack. “But even I can get behind debunking the stupid racist ones.”

“Fair,” he nodded and rolled back. With Remy's cheek pressed to his thigh, Virgil imagined he rubbed against him a little more than necessary to get comfortable. But that was a stupid theory if he ever heard one.

Keys jangled at the door and Remus called out in his best Ricky Ricardo, “ Lucy, I’m homo!” Really, though, he just sounded like his and Ro's dad.

“We’re in here,” Remy called, voice buzzing against his leg.

“We’re?” Remus emerged from the hallway and grinned. “Oooh, don’t you two look cozy.”

“Babes, join us!” Remy took a sip of his coffee and waved him closer with the cup.

“I can find another seat.” Remus’ eyebrows danced and he licked his lips the way he did before he made some raunchy joke. “You know I like to watch.”

“That you do,” Remy chuckled, sending Virgil’s mind racing with thoughts he should not be having about Remy, Remus, and the third in their little constellation, Janus. “Come,” he said, patting the floor at Virgil’s feet. “Settle in, Babes. You know you’ll only last five minutes in a proper chair anyway.”

Remus grinned. “So gay I can’t even sit straight.” He moved closer to Virgil and glanced down at the floor between his feet. “Is it okay?” he asked, voice suddenly serious.

“Ye—yeah, ‘course,” Virgil stammered, adjusting his feet to give him more room.

Remus sat on the floor between Virgil’s shins, knees tucked up to his chest. He turned a little so he wouldn’t block Remy’s view, half leaning on the side of the couch, half leaning on Virgil’s leg.

As they watched the video, Remus’ arm gradually slid between Virgil’s shin and the couch. By the time the next episode started, he was fiddling with Virgil’s laces, happily zoned out.

By the time Janus got home a couple hours later, the two of them were asleep, Remy on his lap and Remus with his head propped on the arm rest, Virgil’s hand tucked beneath.

“Well aren’t you a lovely sight to behold after a long night’s work?” he purred, slipping off his shoes and tiptoeing closer. Unreadable as always, Janus’ smirk hid whatever was actually going on in his head.

Coming home to seeing Virgil with his boyfriends draped over him, it wasn’t hard for Virgil to imagine what he might be thinking.

“Uh, yeah.” He looked down. Remy’s long lashes almost brushed his cheeks, shining under the t.v.’s flickering light. A faint smile played at his lips as he was caught in the depths of a pleasant dream.

And Remus… Even at rest, Remus twitched and mumbled, eyes dancing behind closed lids. One quiet 3 AM when the pair had found each other seeking a tonic to the night’s insomnia and overly vivid dreams, Virgil had asked Remus what he dreamed about.

He'd waggled his eyebrows and blew him a kiss over the open fridge door. “Everything.”

“I guess they were both more tired than they realized,” Virgil whispered, reluctant to disturb them, even as he knew he should so they could join Janus in the big bed in their own room.

“Either that or you’ve seduced them into a restful sleep with your wily ways,” Janus remarked as he moved to the other side of the couch. He crouched down and brushed that stubborn lock away from Remy’s forehead. “It must be simply torture to have them so close,” he said, winking at Virgil in the semi-dark.

As the sun had set, Virgil had left the side table lamp off, allowing the room to gradually darken as night took hold. And as Remy’s head grew heavier in his lap and Remus’ had begun to loll against his hand, he’d muted the t.v., the pictures on the screen splashing dim light over their sleeping faces. He really had done all he could to keep them sleeping around him—and on him—for as long as possible.

Virgil didn’t know how to interpret Janus’ teasing sarcasm. Was he mad? He didn’t seem mad. He didn’t seem to be in a big rush to wake them, either. No doubt, returning home after an unexpected double shift, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the task of putting both of his sleeping boyfriends to bed.

Fuck, Virgil really shouldn’t’ve let them fall asleep like this. They’d just looked so comfortable and, really, felt so comfortable, he just couldn’t make himself break the cozy spell. He just let them—

“Spiderling,” Janus murmured, brushing the baby tarantula tattoo near his thumb. “Shhhh… breath for us,” he whispered. Remus and Remy were both awake. Remy at his side and Remus knelt before him next to Janus.

When had that happened?

It was only then that Virgil heard his own stuttered gasps, each breath like inhaling through a coffee straw. Remy took one hand and Janus the other. Remus hugged his leg.

He sucked in a breath. The air burned his nose and his throat.

“That’s it,” Janus murmured, tapping a steady beat on the back of his hand. “Now let it out,” he said, voice soft and calm, golden brown eyes fixed on his.

Virgil pushed out the breath, ruffling Remus’ wild curls.

Remus nodded and grinned back at him, a little sharp. A little scared.

“Very good,” Janus said, low and even tone rumbling through him. “And again now.”

Virgil wasn’t sure how much time passed as they sat together like that, but after a long, long while, he started anticipating the steps, breathing with the commands instead of needing them to remember what to do next.

“That’s good, Babes, real good,” Remy murmured next to him.

Remus’ manic grin softened on the edges and he curled forward, arms folded over Virgil’s knees, chin pillowed by his own arms.

“Spiderling?” Janus murmured. The old childhood nickname had never really gone away and the tattoo had only cemented it. But using it twice in one night meant he’d really freaked him out.

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled, eyes burning. “I’m better now,” he said. “I didn’t mean to—“

“Fuck ‘sorry’,” Remus shook his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, Babes,” Remy said, sliding a little closer. “We’re not the ones who just had a panic attack in the middle of”—he glanced at the screen—“Twelfth Planet Debunked.”

Virgil didn’t know where to look, so he just hung his head, eyes shut. “I’m okay, I promise,” he said, cracking a smile that felt more like a grimace. “You all can go to bed.”

Remus scritched the seams on his jeans, shoulders shimmying. “It’s okay if you’re not up for it right now, but to tell you the truth, Emo, I was hoping tonight might be the night you joined us—”

“Remus!” Remy and Janus hissed in unison and Virgil snorted.

“It’s okay,” he said to both of them, pushing a smile onto his face. “I know he’s not serious.”

“The hell I’m not,” Remus said, reaching for both his hands and connecting them all together.

Virgil scoffed but the room went dead quiet as the three boyfriends looked from one to the other.

It was Janus who broke the silence. Cupping Virgil’s cheek with his free hand, he gently turned his face until their eyes met. “Do you really not know?”

Virgil’s heart beat faster, a noisy, stupid hope battering on the inside of his ribs. He shook his head again. “That he’s joking?”

“That I’m not,” Remus said, voice still and quiet. “I thought… “ Remus’ thumb rubbed little circles on the inside of his wrist. “I thought you were just… doing it for the bit, y’know… acting like…”

For the first time Virgil could remember, Remus looked uncertain.

“We all did, Babes,” Remy whispered.

“Wait—“ Virgil stared at each of them. “You all?”

“You can blame me as the first,” Janus said, stroking his cheek now. “But once Remy and Remus got to know you, too, they didn’t need any convincing.”

“So… all…” Virgil’s mouth wouldn’t let him form the words and he looked at each in turn, willing one of them, any of them to just say it so he wouldn’t have to. And be wrong.

Janus lifted Virgil’s hand to his lips and Remus—reluctantly?—let go. “We’ve all fallen for you, Spiderling,” he whispered against his knuckles then pressed a soft kiss against each.

“Babes, we got the feeling it was, y’know…” He squeezed their shared grip with Remus. “Mutual?”

“I… it… it is,” he finally admitted, cheeks flaming. He nodded and took a deep breath. “It is very… mutual.”

Remus practically vibrated, fingers thrumming on his knee as he squeezed his and Remy’s hand tight. Remy curled closer and laid his head on Virgil’s shoulder.

Still smiling that damn crooked smile, Janus turned his hand over and pressed a soft, wet kiss against his palm. “Good.”

[st7arlights-side]

Theorizing Pt 1: repression

UP AHEAD: so much rambling about Orange. written very late at night and not the most coherent, sorry. (also, all uses of Thomas are referring to c!Thomas)

okay everyone talks about the dark sides being their opposites, opposing colors, colors on opposite ends of the wheel, but wanna know another term for it? complementary colors. I think the idea of "totally opposing, entirely contrasting, nothing alike" is not really accurate to the lore that we have been given? It's clear that it's important that all sides are accepted, and that there is no "solely good" or "solely bad" trait. Everything has complexities and different aspects to it, and the sides are no different.

I've never been particularly fond of the idea of wrath/anger/cruelty being orange because it seems like a scapegoat? I am more in favor of it representing regret (as most appearances of it are present in scenes or conversations with regret present) [forgot where i saw the theory first :sob:] and passion (impulsive acts based in emotions, a contrast to Logan's character while simultaneously rounding him out and forcing him and thomas to accept the parts that aren't all logical) [theory from @/dillydallydove] as these have more dimension and seem to fill out the gaps in the sides a bit more, especially considering the general theme going with remus, janus, and virgil. These are aspects that Thomas represses, and he knows them by names that aren't really accurate to their full purposes. He knows Janus as deceit, while he is more accurately described as self-preservation. He knows Remus as intrusive thoughts, when he is more accurately described as his repressed creativity. He knows Virgil as Anxiety (which is fairly accurate, though it still minimizes his functions) though he might be more accurately described as caution? fear? an aspect of self preservation? Regardless, perhaps orange could be known as wrath or anger because that's what he manifests as, but that doesn't mean that this is accurate to who he is as an aspect of Thomas. Remus is intrusive thoughts because that is the only way he can get recognized, the only way he breaks through the suppression. Janus is known as deceit because he has to manipulate the other sides to get them to prioritize Thomas's self-interest (as well as his personal responsibility to protect Thomas from what he can't handle at the moment; deceiving himself, sure, but at it's core, preserving his presently fragile mental state).

What emotion, what passion, does thomas repress the most? he's clearly open to expressing love and joy and, more recently, stress and anxiety, even some hints of sadness showing. but what has he been repressing the most? his anger! his frustration! his (and his sides') sense of inadequacy!! Orange is being seen in these contexts because that is what he isn't allowing himself (and the sides) to express as themselves.

Sanders Sides' whole thing is accepting the different parts of yourself, with underlying themes of c!thomas's upbringing causing him to repress, deny, or otherwise have an unhealthy relationship with "bad" aspects of himself (which, boy do i have some ideas for possible explorations of OCD in this, especially with the prevalence of intrusive thoughts- and the ways Thomas and the other sides change their language around Remus to prevent him from "getting ideas"-). Orange could be treated as a character foil to Logan, or Orange could be like Janus, but instead of protecting c!T from things he can't handle, Orange is the result of that suppression. Like how remus formed from thomas (patton) forbidding Roman from having "bad" ideas, orange could be formed from thomas (logan) pushing down "bad" feelings, feelings of passion that don't directly help other people.

Of course, this brings me to how Janus (a "gatekeeper" of sorts for Thomas) would interact with orange. this is reaching more into prediction territory. I suspect that Janus wants orange to emerge, as prolonged repression is harming Thomas (which i'm pretty sure he alluded to at least once, though i'm blanking on when). (also, an aside, is it not concerning that during the christmas special, Janus, c!T's self-preservation, was increasingly inebriated?? ooh and the occasional gags about Logan drinking wine too-) Notice how Janus has been watching Logan? this plus the general willingness to exclude Logan (further pushing his frustration and feelings of inadequacy) makes me suspect that he (as per usual) knows more than the rest.

I... don't really have a conclusion. I think Orange isn't an embodiment of aggression, moreso a result of repression? I guess? And I'm concerned about... yeah everyone involved, but especially Logan and Janus.

[tsspromptmonth]

Order Up! - Ribbit 🐸🩵

Ordered by @dndeceit, a brewed coffee with peach and jasmine syrups and crushed animal crackers. Any milk but skim, optional syrups: starfruit and/or cranberry.

(Canonverse Patton and Thomas and animal traits, optional Janus and/or Virgil, writer's choice of tone as long as it is NOT hurt/no comfort)

It's Edu's work, so of course Logan and Remus snuck in there a bit, too. Only a very tiny bit. And as long as everyone else was there, Roman demanded a bit of 'screen-time,' as well.

[monkeythefander]

Dukeceit Headcannons 💚💛

I wanted to participate in Dukeceit Week 2024 somehow, so since I don’t have time to draw anything I thought I’d write some headcannons based off of the 7 prompts for the ship week.

@dukeceit-week-2024 @imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper

The prompts were the following:

April 6th- Sunflowers/Ocean

April 7th- Road trip/Roadkill

April 8th- Cats/Rats

April 9th- Teeth/Hair

April 10th- Cowboys/bootleggers

April 11th- Bodyswap/Sharing clothes

April 12th- Coffee shop/Dive bar

April 13th- Antiquing/Free day

Content warnings: mention of roadkill (dead animals), mention of having funerals for said roadkill, mention of hair clips that look like teeth, brief mention of battles, mention of a dive bar and drinking alcohol. Let me know if I missed anything else.

Click below the cut the read the headcannons.

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- For their first date, Remus and Janus decided to go out for dinner by the beach in the imagination. Remus wanted to give Janus some flowers, so he picked a bouquet a sunflowers. Of course, Remus ended up picking sunflowers were dead because they were from his side of the imagination. The creative side was a bit worried that his date wouldn’t like the flowers since they were dead, but Janus smiled when Remus gave him the flowers and said the bouquet was lovely. The couple then had their dinner, and afterwards walked on the beach. Remus convinced Janus to take off his shoes and stand in the shallow part of the ocean with him. Remus playfully kicked some water at Janus and the two end up chasing each other around and splashing each other. Overall, it was a good first date.

- Remus and Janus like to take road trips through Roman’s side of the imagination once a month. The two drive around in a car and occasionally stop to cause chaos. On their trips they’ll sometimes stumble across some roadkill. In these situations, Remus will have Janus pause their journey for a moment in order to have funerals for the roadkill.

- For Halloween, Janus and Remus always wear matching/couple’s costumes. Their first Halloween together, they dressed as a rat and a cat. Remus was the rat because like rats, he likes to dig through garbage. Janus was the cat because like a cat, he sometimes makes a purring noise when Remus cuddles him, because Remus feels very warm and the cold-blooded deceitful side finds the body heat very calming. Janus was embarrassed when he purred for the first time, but Remus just smiled and said he found the sound adorable.

- Remus’s hair would often get in his face since it’s somewhat long. He found having hair blocking his eyes to be annoying, but couldn’t find any clips or hair styles he liked to fix it. Janus noticed Remus’s hair style struggles, so he asked Roman to help him design hair clips for Remus. Once the design was planned out and made, the deceitful side gave Remus hair clips that looked like teeth. Remus loved the clips and would wear them often.

- For the second Halloween Janus and Remus celebrated together, they dressed up as Woody and Bo Peep from Toy Story. Remus wanted to reuse the cowboy costume and Janus already has a shepard’s crook, so the costume choice was easy.

- Remus likes to borrow Janus’ hat and capelet. The dark creativity says it makes him feel more powerful and like a fairytale villain when he battles with Roman.

- Remus made a dive bar in his side of the imagination for him and Janus to go to. The two frequently go there to drink and slowdance. Janus uses these outings as an excuse to wear the fancy dresses he owns.

- There is an antique shop in the Light Side of the imagination. Janus likes to go over there occasionally to look for decorations for his room. He’s found a few nice paintings of snakes when shopping there. After they started dating and it got closer to Remus’ birthday, Janus wanted to find an antique item to give as a birthday present. The deceitful side did a lot of searching and eventually found an old, wind-up rat toy. It would be the perfect gift for Remus. So, Janus got the wind-up rat and gave it to Remus on the creative side’s birthday. Remus loved it and proceeded to send the rat toy running around the light side of the mindscape. The creative side hoped the rat toy would scare the light sides. Janus just watched his boyfriend’s antics with a smile on his face.

——————————————————————

End notes: Thanks for reading! As always, if you like any of these headcannons and want to make a fanfic or fanart based on them you can. You just need to ask me first, and then tag and credit me in the post so I can see it.

-Monkey💜

AO3 Link to these headcannons: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55072036

[ashtonisvibing]

as a kid remus didn't at all understand that kisses = romantic gesture (in society's eyes, obviously). he just gave his bestest friend virgil kisses all the time without ever thinking of them as anything other than platonic (it's the autism + being a lovequeer aro)

cut to roman, who's already caught up on society's views on romance, seeing remus and virgil kiss a lot. cut to him now being quite angry because wtf how did his rat bastard of a brother get a partner before he did-???

i imagine the confrontation went like this:

roman, quite angry: i can't believe you got a partner before me-! remus: ........ wut- roman: you're dating virgil-!! remus: ......... no i'm not-?? roman: wh- but i just saw you kiss them! remus, now extremely confused: yeah-??? cuz we're friends-??? do you not have friends, ro-??? roman: roman: [windows error noise]

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Polly Jolly Christmas but as a Sanders Sides AU

Logan is an architect, Janus is a lawyer, and Roman is an up and coming singer/songwriter.

By some chance of fate, all three of them end up in the same small town to visit their girlfriends for the holidays. The same small town where a new hotel is meant to be going in, possibly threatening the income of one of the five or six bed and breakfasts already there.

Logan is confronted by his girlfriend upon arrival because his plans were apparently being used for the hotel, the "How could you do this to me?" lecture ensues and Logan can't get a word in edgewise to explain that the plans in question were stolen months ago, that she knew some of his plans were stolen, he told her about that. He tries to take her hand as she turns around and slaps him across the face.

Janus arrives and is immediately torn into by his fiance because another lawyer at the firm he works for is representing the Evil Hotel Guys, and it doesn't matter how much he tries to explain he didn't know about it, it's not his case, why would he? It doesn't matter that he tries to offer to represent her and her cause, she still throws the ring at him and storms off, leaving him speechless.

Roman has been planning this for a few months. He was going to surprise his girlfriend by being one of the performers at the Christmas and pulling her up on stage and proposing. But part of it being a surprise meant being a little cagey about the details of his holiday plans, though he did at least promise he would absolutely see her Christmas day. He arrives in town a few days before Christmas to get everything in order for The Big Day, and despite his best efforts of remaining incognito, is seen by his girlfriend's high school sweetheart, who is somehow convinced that he's here with the Evil Hotel Guys and tell her so. The girlfriend literally hunts Roman down to confront him about it, Roman ends up having to tell her about his plans to surprise her to convince her he's not part of any marketing scheme to get everyone to want a new hotel. This somehow still makes her angry, and she tears him a new one for making the proposal all about him, and goes off about how unsupportive he's been, and decides that's a good time to announce she's been writing her own music too, that she was planning on performing at the Christmas Parade, but couldn't because some arrogant no-name was coming into town and turned out to just be him. Roman is shocked and tries to tell that of course he'd back out for her, that he would have helped her if he'd just known, if she just told him. She declares he should have Just Known. Roman quietly leaves without telling anyone to give her the chance to Save The Day by being the last minute fill-in. Sure it might ruin his reputation there, but at least she'll be happy. He leaves a recording of the song he wrote for her behind and immediately hawks the ring he'd bought to cover his cost of now wasted travels.

Janus and Logan meet first in the lobby of Bed and Breafast Number Four. Logan is on the phone, trying to figure out how he can get his stolen plans back, frustrated and nearing tears, visibly bruised from being stuck. He hangs up, ready to break down when Janus apologizes for eavesdropping, but he's a lawyer and maybe he could help. Logan explains the situation and Janus is immediately pulling up his laptop to get things going. Logan tries to tell him, it's fine, it's Christmas, he's sure Janus plans. Janus laughs bitterly and explains that no, he doesn't, and briefly explains the fued with his ex-fiancee.

That's when Roman stumbles in, visibly upset, and obviously trying not to breakdown, asking about availability. He's informed that they're booked full due to the concernt happening at the Parade and Roman musters up a smile, and says something about a friend of his performing there, before walking away. He collapses into a chair near where Logan and Janus have been chatting and takes out his phone to figure something out, before just giving up, burying his face in his hands.

Logan is the one who tentatively breaches the heavy silence, offering Roman the extra bed in his room. Roman appreciatively accepts, stating he's hoping to get out of tomorrow, and explains the concert debacle. Janus offers his sympathies, explaining his fiance had just broken up with him because of his job, and Logan laughs bitterly chiming in with his own breakup story. They get to chatting and it turns out that not only were all their partners from the same town, but it turns out so are they. Janus has the idea to just rent a car and they can all just leave town together. They're all headed toward the same place anyway, and the cost of canceled plan tickets is well worth not having to stay in a place where they're all miserable. They all agree and head off.

They're only on the road for a few hours when Roman gets a call, from his now ex demanding to know where he is, what he was thinking leaving town like that, he has an obligation to fulfill. Roman explains as calmly as he can that he left so he wouldn't be overshadowing her anymore, citing what she had told him during their Big Argument. Janus pulls over when Roman finally says that maybe she's better off without him, that he hopes she's happy with High-school Sweetheart and that all her dreams come true and ends the call. Janus holds his hand while he cries and Logan scoots to the middle and puts a hand on his shoulder.

They make it back without further incident. Janus and Logan keep in better contact as Janus is helping him with the stolen plans debacle. Both do try to keep in touch with Roman, though it's a bit hard to do with how much he withdrew after everything happened. And it's not really till a few months later when Janus and Logan meet up at a bar to celebrate getting Logan's plans back that they actually see Roman again. They track him down after his set on stage and invite him out to get food with them, but it's late and a lot of places are shutting down soon, so Logan suggest they grab food and take it back to his place. They all end up chatting till early in the morning and at that point Logan insists the other two just stay the night, citing his concern for their safety driving with such little sleep.

Janus and Roman wake the next morning only to overhear Logan on the phone, locked in conversation that was quickly devolving into an argument. Janus catches on that it has to do with the stolen plans and immediately is checking on things to make sure that they, indeed, get everything settled and Logan walks in a few minutes later, visibly upset and offering breakfast. Janus is at his side in an instant, asking to know what was wrong, and who was asking about the plans.

Logan explains that it was his ex, that she just found out the hotel isn't being built because it came out the plans were indeed stolen, and that she was trying to apologize and, essentially, get back together. Logan had turned her down and was just glad he could hang up and not have to worry about being slapped again. Before Janus can even fully react Roman has Logan in his arms and Logan finally breaks down for the first time since everything started. Janus stands close by, rubbing Logan's back, trying to offer at least a little comfort. Once Logan has calmed, Janus suggests going to breakfast together, his treat.

Breakfast together on Sunday morning becomes A Thing for the trio and the next thing they know they're planning Christmas together. Janus offers to host and when he greets Roman and Logan at the door with a kiss each, they all realize how much sense it makes, none of them can quite say when their friendship turned into something a little more, but now that they're here, they could see that it had indeed, become something more romantic. And that it simply made sense, it felt right, the three of them together. They spend the evening exchanging quick pecks on the cheek and playfully shouldering each other out of the way or bumping hips while cleaning up after dinner and finally huddled in a tangled mess of limbs on the couch watching the faux fire place. Quiet "I love you"s are finally exchanged, though at that point it was already known and didn't really need saying. But it felt good, felt right to say it. They stayed together that night and began making plans to spend every night together.

[tss-storytime-summaries]

10

Expected Rating: General/Teen

Warnings: Temporary main character death, descriptions of corpses, guns, desecrations of churches, murder, mild gore, kidnapping, potential brainwashing, bigotry, brief smoking, villain!Janus, accomplice!Remus, religious trauma, manipulation

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman, Patton, Remus, Janus, Thomas Sanders, Captain Fowler and various other side characters from Detroit: Become Human

Romantic Relationships: Virgil/Logan, briefly mentioned past one-sided Logan/Emile

Summary: Logan, Cyberlife's newest prototype and android detective, had thrived in the 3 months since the android revolution. A practically spotless record, having cracked cases others had given up on for years. With his Sergeants' exam just two months away, it seemed like everything was going just right.

But when Reverend Joseph Green, an official at St Aloysius Parish gets murdered, Logan is partnered with Detective Virgil Raikes, his greatest challenge yet. The case itself proves to be no easy feat either, twisting and dropping whenever they think for a moment they have it figured out. The pair travel all around Detroit, and through analysis, detective work, and a dash of begrudging 'friendship', Logan and Virgil strive to make a change and, for one of them, become a little more human.

[analoceits]

raven wings chapter one: spiraling smoke

A03 Link

note: ahh im super excited this is finally out!! massive and i mean massive thanks to Oatmeal_Archive, also known as @oatmeat-stans-the-trash-rat on tumblr and ChaosIsMyName, both of my beta readers for this fic!! they were both AMAZING moral support and oatmeal is a grammar wizard tbh. check out their stuff, they’re great writers!!

tags: Wings, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, Winged Logic | Logan Sanders, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Minor Body Horror, Minor Gore, Religious Guilt, Morally Neutral Morality | Patton Sanders (hes well intentioned just.. a bit messy), Light Sides As Family (Sanders Sides) (they care about eachother sm)

-

The wings shot out of his back like spiraling towers of smoke, and in the blurry bathroom mirror - they might as well have been. Logan carefully traced his fingers to where they poked out of his back, right under his shoulder blades and felt the muscles. They were real.

He didn’t hesitate before raising them in the air, arching over his head like a deep shadow in the dark light. He bit his tongue to stop himself from gasping out loud with his shock. It looked like a biblical portrait.

He ran his fingers over the dark feathers while thinking back to what could’ve caused this - to be fair, he didn’t have many leads. When he had woken up like this, he didn’t even realize he had wings at first. He could’ve sworn it was one of Virgil’s thick weighted blankets he often borrowed (not that he needed it), but he realized when he sat up.

They were real, that was at least proven - considering how as he stumbled to the bathroom, one of the wings dragging behind him knocked into the table and one of Patton's favorite plants smashed to the floor. He was lucky it was easy to clean up, and the pot was only a little cracked.

He let the wings fall back down to his sides, slightly rocking with their sheer weight. They were much more dense and strong then he had previously imagined. He hadn’t previously thought he could actually fly with them, but with this realization - there was a possibility.

He gripped as tightly as he could along the edge of the counter, and started to flap them as strongly as he could. The muscles themselves were young, and therefor weak. Despite this, after a second he was barely putting weight on his feet, and next thing he knew he was in the air.

He levitated just briefly, not breathing at all for that silent second. Then the wings gave out. He crashed back to the tile floor, scrambling to hoist himself up with the bathroom counter. It definitely bruised his ribs in the process (ow), but facing himself in the mirror - he couldn’t stand to count it as a disappointment.

He set himself back up right and let his thoughts flow. These were not.. particularly planned for, mayhaps, but they weren’t the worst possible change in the Mindscape. Really, the sheer convenience of them was worth their existence all on its own.

He also spared a thought for the possibility of the other sides’ reaction. Despite how emotionless he was, the thought of their wonder made something deep in his chest burn like a lit candle. He could imagine Patton awwing and oohing over the wings, while Roman insisting it was good potential for ‘adventuring’, and even perhaps Virgil finding solace in the thought that it was a safety net for Logan.

Though, for all he knew, these were an impermanent change. The mindscape did not often pull stunts like this. Despite the fact that the sides had small varieties, in the end, they all mostly resembled Thomas. Did any side even have any changes this significant, like animal features- oh.

Oh.

How had he forgotten?

(Thomas was young at the time. Patton and Janus were in charge, but it was more arbitrary then anything - they were all the same age in the end. King had seemed older, seemed more in charge, but now it was just the twins - with big eyes and little hands just like the rest of them. 

There was distant yelling, and despite how far the voices were, there was no question who it was. Logan put his book down on his lap and looked up. Roman stared at him from across the room and frowned with concern. Jan and Pat had been arguing more recently. Logan nodded at the implicit question, getting up and taking Roman by the hand as they wondered down the hall.

The words became clearer as they became closer.

“I’ve told you that lying isn’t worth it, Jan.. Thomathy’s in trouble and I don’t know how long it’s gonna last!” Patton practically wailed, throwing his arms out through his distress and desperation. He was always emotional in these scenarios.

“You’re acting like I pushed it over myself. It is not that serious of an infraction, Patton. His parents will get over it!” Janus snapped back, arms tucked over his chest and face furrowed with his anger.

Thomas had knocked it over earlier while they were playing. Their mother had valued it a lot, but Thomas thought he could hide it by cleaning it up, with the encouragement of Janus. He got a shard stuck in his hand in the process, and their parents were now worried and furious.

Patton hadn’t coped well. Any time when they were in trouble, or needed to get treatment, he was the most upset. Thus, the intersection was the worst possible scenario. It made sense as he was the center for Morality and Emotions; he was prone to being upset. Nobody blamed him for that. The main issue was that he projected that onto Janus.

Logan turned to face Roman, who gave a steady nod as the argument droned on around them. Despite being the most ‘mature’, and therefor heads of house (so to speak). Janus and Pattons’ arguments could get ugly, fast. The other sides luckily had learned how to separate them in these scenarios and avoid such problems.

Logan motioned that he would take Janus and Roman could take Patton, their usual arrangement. Roman nodded in agreement. Logan was about to step in so they could object to this, but then he stopped. No. Something was wrong.

“Why are you acting so cold-blooded-” Patton yelled, his eyes welling up with angry tears, and Janus’s expression dropped. Despite everything - he hated such insults to a special degree. As if he didn’t care, as if he didn’t try, he would say every time.

Then, it happened. Scales tore through the skin under his eye and seemed to envelops half his face one quick go. His right eye was like a snakes, gold with a thin black slit. His teeth sharpened to little blades in his mouth. 

The silence was overwhelming, and the tension in the air was so palpable Logan could barely breath. He felt Roman’s hand tighten in his, and he gripped back the best he could. Patton clamped his hands over his mouth and slowly paced back, hovering over Roman and Logan protectively in the process.

Janus’s expression went from pure single-minded anger and to confusion, then fear just as the rest of them. He spun his head around behind him for a second, clearly looking for the threat, before he put a hand on his own face. Then, he felt the scales.

He opened his mouth, and even now Logan wondered what he had planned to say - an apology? An explanation? Maybe he was planning to beg with Patton, or maybe he would of never been able say anything at all. It didn’t matter, of course, because Patton cut him off.

Patton clasped his hands together in front of his face, turned his head down and started to pray. He prayed quietly, as always. Once Logan asked him to explain why, and he said that he already had God in his heart - he didn’t need to speak anywhere else. Logan thought it cowardice, but he didn’t say so. Of course, that didn’t matter now - it didn’t take a genius to guess which prayer he was saying.

I come to Your refuge with joy for You shelter me against the attack of the Devil. Protect me, O Lord, from the craftiness of the enemy, and save me from his evil plots.

It was one of Patton's favorite prayers.

Janus stared, and Logan knew he wasn’t the only one to guess the prayer correctly then. Soft anger rested upon his expression. He hissed something under his breath - Logan couldn’t hear it, but Patton must have, because he turned his head up and stopped praying. The look was indecipherable.

Then Janus walked out, hands in fists but head held as high as always. Patton paced back to his room without even seeming to have seen Logan or Roman, and they both ran to their room after. Virgil, Janus, and Remus’s rooms were gone the next morning.)

.. Maybe these weren’t an act of the mindscape. These types of events, with the context of the incident with Janus, seemed to be after negative events. Nothing had occurred. (It was nothing.) This was simply just an accident, or glitch, possibly. 

It was nothing that adjusting his form couldn’t fix. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, tracing his fingers along where the wings poked out of his skin. His flesh seemed to crackle as he tried to push the wings back into himself, letting the bones and muscle nestle into his back. 

After a long, awkward moment of this, his skin wrapped back over itself and he placed a palm where the wing once sprouted from. Nothing.

He opened his eyes again and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he still was faced with nothing. He took a few deep breaths, glad that the problem was resolved. He shoved it back into the far corners of his memory. It was noth-

Then he felt it. Burning fire under his skin as bones and feathers reformed into one, with no care or consideration for the rest of his body, tearing muscles apart and shoving his ribs to the side. He covered his mouth, and when that wasn’t enough, he dragged his blunt nails against his cheeks in a desperate attempt to stay silent.

He tried his best to focus and attempted to disperse the wings once more, stop them from reforming desperately, lest they break through his skin. His entire back burned with pain at the attempt. He was sent careening downwards, gripping onto the counter for dear life.

He bit his bottom lip and before he knew it, blood was welling up in his mouth. Every attempt to try and calm himself, breath deeply or count, eventually just made it worse. He gasped and choked on air, while his lungs desperately strained to keep function. The pain was unbearable. 

Virgil - Virgil had told him that after the incident, but before they left the Lightscape, Janus tried to get rid of the scales. Only once. Only once because the first time taught him to not try again, then Virgil had refuse to elaborate farther. Logan understood what he meant now.

The black wings finally broke through his skin and it took everything in Logan’s body to not scream at the top of his lungs. The world swam around him as he felt blood well up around the wings and drip down his back. He spit blood into the sink, and his entire body shook.

The pain slowly eased off of him until he could think again. He propped his head up in his hands and looked up, facing himself in the mirror. The wings were limp against his back, but now he could see the blood on them. They felt more like the burnt and charred wings of a fallen angel instead of anything biblical. He could practically hear Patton’s response, telling him he had fallen from grace. But.. maybe he didn’t have to be aware.

He cleaned the rest of the blood off of himself as gently as he could, before heading back to his room through the dark. He tucked the wings tight against his back and made a point to not spare the cracked flowerpot a guilty glance. After a few achingly long minutes of shuffling through his possessions as the sun rose, he got what he needed and returned to the bathroom.

He spread the items out on the counter, assessing them all equally. A typical black collar shirt of his, a tie, and a laced corset that Roman had left him. He picked up the corset. This could work.

He sinched the corset around himself with steady hands, tucking the wings underneath. Pain flared up and burst through the bloody things, which objected to being tucked so tightly. He bit his lip raw in the process, but by the end the wings were tucked sturdy against his back, if a bit painfully.

Then, he dawned the shirt and tie, and tried his best to see through all angles in the mirror.

It wasn’t the best disguise, that was to be sure. The wings poked out a little, harsh little spikes of bone against his shirt, but that was just because he knew what he was looking for. The other sides, even if they noticed the odd shape, would be unlikely to comment on it. At least, he hoped.

He barely registered the noise of Roman sitting up, and taking his usual morning stretch with an average amount of dramatic flourish. It was his turn to make breakfast, after all. Biting back his reservations, he fled to the kitchen.

////

“Popstar Padre - is it really worth it to give Janus a ‘fair place at our table’?” Roman ranted between thick bites of waffle, waving his fork like any weapon. “No offense, but the snake isn’t exactly the fair and friendly type that I want influencing Thomas.”

Patton wrung his hands, staring to the side, then down, then at the table. Anywhere but at Roman. Virgil looked between the two, with semi-wide eyes waiting for movement, before sighing deeply like he realized the task at hand.

“Sorry Ro- actually, not sorry at all, but got to agree with Pat on this one.” Roman’s face practically dropped to the core of the earth, looking like the world’s most kicked puppy, but Virgil continued without a hitch. “Janus can be.. the worst, definitely, but he’s getting better. We got to.. ugh, give him a chance, like you gave me.” Virgil’s face curled up like he was being forced to eat dirt with every word he spoke.

Roman snapped out a response, pointing his fork with an accusatory glare. Logan happily tuned out the words, for once content to fade into the background of a debate. The wings continuously shuffled underneath the corset, so having less eyes on him was for the better.

The argument droned on around him, like he was a rock in a river. Silently, for once, he ate his breakfast. Nobody noticed him and that was for the best. With luck, these would simply disappear in a week or two, and nobody would ever know-

“Lo?” The voice was thick with concern, and he nearly bit his tongue off attempting to not flinch. He hesitated, and then very carefully drew his attention back up to Virgil. His heart dropped at the mix of worry and suspicion that rested on his face.

“Yes?” He asked, after choking down a quick bite of pancake. The wings shuffled under the corset, and he cursed his stupid fleshform. Then Virgil put a hand on his shoulder, directly above the wings. He cursed existence, trying to keep the new muscles locked still.

“You’re quiet. You aren’t usually quiet. What’s wrong?” The words made Logan spare Patton and Roman a glance - knowing if they even got the slightest hint he was in any way, shape or form, wrong they’d get worried too. For once, seeing them continue on with their bickering was a blessing.

“I was making up for a small error in Thomas’s editing schedule last night and stayed up a little later than intended. I am simply tired from such activities.” The lie slipped out of his throat like honey. He was sure, with his luck, that Janus was about to pop up behind him.

There was a moment of silence, with Virgil practically glaring into his very soul. Thankfully, he oh so slowly he let go, suspicion still written on his face nonetheless. “Take a nap later. I mean it too, Lo. You aren’t Remy - you can’t do all nighters like that.” His expression softened slightly, and he turned to take a bite of pancake - instead ending up butting into Patton and Roman’s debate once more.

Logan practically breathed all of his lungs out and then some with his relief. His heart was pounding like a war drum. The wings shuffled awkwardly under the corset, trying to find a comfortable resting position again.

It was alright, he reminded himself with the logical part of his brain; Virgil was unaware. Realistically, Virgil would be the one of the light sides to care the least about his.. er, sudden change, but he’d rather not risk it either way, considering that the other option would be him caring the most.

(“You’re just like that fucking snake.”)

He shook his head to clear the thoughts from his skull, and the wings awkwardly ruffled once more under the leather. He was honestly shocked he hadn’t accidentally cramped one of them at this rate.

And then he felt a pair of eyes burning into his back. He didn’t dare look up, because he knew it was Virgil; he knew looking up would just make things worst for him.

Virgil slowly spoke, not like Logan couldn’t understand, but as if he struggled to form words. “Did-,” he hissed and Logan thanked God it was quiet, “did something just move under your shirt?” Fear laced his tone like a thick blanket, and Logan’s muscles tightened slightly.

He turned to face Virgil, carefully angling himself so the wings could fold behind his back and Virgil couldn’t see them. “Nothing moved under my shirt,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows in his best concerned expression. He felt like Janus with this much lying, “Virgil, how much did you sleep last night?”

Virgil scrunched up his face, making it very clear he didn’t believe a word that came out of Logan’s mouth. “No, no no nope,” he popped the ‘P’ for extra effect, “listen, Lo, I’ve already gone down the whole ‘did you sleep enough last night’ she-bang with Janus. That doesn’t work on me.” He insisted.

“It isn’t a trick,” he insisted as calmly as he could, putting his hands up and leaning back slightly for the best kindly demeanor he could give off, “I’m just saying that insomnia, or lack of sleep, can cause minor visual hallucinations - such as seeing something move under ones shirt, and I am aware you’ve struggled with such in the past.”

Virgil stared at him as hard as he could. Logan’s heart twisted with guilt as he watched Virgil’s expression drop, and he seemed to convinced himself that Logan was right and he was just seeing things. “Sorry,” he muttered, and turned back to his dish.

“It’s quite alright.” Logan insisted, turning back to his food himself just as quickly. It was for the best, he reasoned. No reason to tell Virgil and have him in charge of such a big secret, considering his anxiety. 

They ate in silence for what felt like an infinite eternity. Though, Logan knew logically it could’ve only been five, ten minutes more. The argument between Patton and Roman slowly fizzled out, neither of them none the wiser to Logan and Virgil’s.. disagreement.

He finished his plate and got up, calmly announcing as he headed to the sink, “I believe the chore chart indicates that it’s Virgil turn to do the dishes, correct?” He asked, quickly rinsing off his plate.

Virgil nodded and said, “Yeah. I’ll get them once I’m done.” His voice was still the barest bit somber, and Logan could feel the way his eyes traced Logan’s back. 

Logan gave him one last acknowledging glance and ducked down, before crumbling back to his bed. He automatically snapped his shirt and the corset off in one moment. The wings splayed out, exhausted and sore. He covered his face while they stretched.

He turned over and put his arms out. He counted each glow-in-the-dark star on his ceiling and felt every single feather already out of angle. The agitation was unbearable, and he could only pray this was a temporary curse. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up.

[lil-toastie-boi]

Space Heater

Fandom: Sander Sides Pairing: Moceit (Janus/Patton) Tags: Fluff, Cuddling, Cold-blooded Janus, Ficlet Summary: Janus can't fall asleep one night due to being freezing from being cold-blooded, and decides to go to his boyfriend Patton for some warm snuggles

Janus buried himself further in his nest of soft weighted blankets, shivering despite how warm he should be. After an hour and a half of futile attempts to feel warm, he reluctantly emerged from his blanket fortress and sat up, shivering. He hugged himself and rubbed his arms trying in vain to warm himself.

He could go to his boyfriend, Patton, but he was almost against it. He could handle a little cold, right? No, no he couldn't, despite how much he tried telling himself he could. He sighed and stood, leaving his room and heading down the hall to Patton's room.

Standing outside Patton's door, Janus hesitated before tentatively knocking, hoping not to disturb Patton's rest. After a few moments and some shuffling behind the door, it opened, revealing Patton looking adorable yet tired in his gray cat onesie. “Oh, hey pumpkin, did you need something?” Patton smiled warmly, stepping aside in case his partner wanted to come inside his room. Janus smiled back tiredly at Patton, taking the offer and walking in.

“Yes, I need my space heater of a boyfriend” He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, the springs creaking under his weight. Patton giggled as he shut the door “Is it too cold?” he asked as he sat next to Janus, who nodded. “Way too cold.” “Well good thing you have me!” Patton smiled and wrapped his arms around Janus, pulling the both of them down so they were laying in bed.

Patton took a moment to pull his incredibly soft blankets on top of them, before looking at Janus “Do you wanna spoon or lay on top of me or just hug?” He held Janus’ hand momentarily while the freezing side thought. “Spoon, please.” He decided, turning over so his back was facing Patton, soon smiling at feeling strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him close.

“Alrighty!” Patton giggled, squeezing Janus briefly, who let out a pleased sigh. “This is much better…” He closed his eyes, finally relaxing as he warmed up. “Wonderful.” Morality smiled softly, lifting a hand to gently play with Janus’ hair. “Baby?” “Hm..?” “I’m happy you came to me when you needed me.” Janus smiled softly, taking Pattons other hand and bringing it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “Me too, sunshine…”

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 59) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors, fire, minor character death

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10Part 11Part 12Part 13Part 14Part 15Part 16Part 17Part 18Part 19Part 20Part 21Part 22Part 23Part 24Part 25Part 26Part 27Part 28Part 29Part 30Part 31Part 32Part 33Part 34Part 35Part 36Part 37Part 38Part 39Part 40Part 41Part 42Part 43Part 44Part 45Part 46Part 47Part 48Part 49Part 50Part 51Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58

Logan and Patton had been useless during the fight, but that may have been for the best. Considering the skill differential when it came to fighting (and that differential had never been as clear as it was in this moment), that was probably for the best. They likely would have just gotten in the way.

The moment Logan’s father spoke, however, they both jumped into action.

They both knew their jobs in a situation like this. Patton pushed himself up to his feet ungracefully and all but sprinted over towards Virgil. Logan, on the other hand stood to face his father, putting himself very purposefully between the man who had no idea what was going on yet and the boy who was two seconds away from remembering what was going on.

“I can explain,” Logan said.

His father was still sitting on the ground. “You can explain,” he said slowly, “how Virgil just threw an assassin off a cliff.”

Logan thought pointing out that Virgil hadn’t thrown anyone off a cliff and instead had set them on fire with a magical knife causing them to walk off a cliff, would not be useful in this moment. He glanced briefly towards where Virgil and Patton were standing and then turned back to his father. “Yes.”

“And what would that explanation be?”

Before even starting to speak, Logan found himself making large dramatic ‘explaining hand gestures’ that he’d thought he’d long since trained himself out of. When he was younger and in trouble, he always used to give himself away as guilty by being overly expressive with his hands (and arms).

“So,” Logan said. He was still not able to stop the hand motions. “Virgil was an assassin. He came here to kill you last fall, but he accidently went to the wrong room in the royal wing. Patton and I were having a slumber party and caught him in the act. Then we reformed him and now he doesn’t kill people anymore.” He paused and glanced back, remembering the body that had just toppled off the cliff. “Er, uh, he doesn’t kill people who haven’t shot poison covered darts at people recently anymore?”

“What?”

“Look,” Logan said. “You’re going to have to tell him you’re not going to execute him soon. Patton can only keep him from bolting for so long.”

“Execute him?” his father asked.

“Well, he was a Mocnejsi assassin sent to kill you,” Logan said.

“Virgil is a Mocnejsi assassin,” his father repeated as though to confirm he’d heard him right.

Logan had thought the Mocnejsi was implied. “He was,” Logan confirmed.

“Why does that make more sense than any other explanation I’ve come up with for him?” his father asked while pinching his brow. Logan took that as rhetorical. Then, his father looked at him again. “He’s 14.”

“Yes,” Logan said, “I’m also pretty sure this is the first person he’s actually killed while not under a blood compulsion, so you really need to tell him he’s not going to be executed.”

His father seemed to actually absorb Logan’s request this time. He finally looked over Logan’s shoulder at Virgil, concern crossing his face at what he saw. “Right.”

He moved to step around Logan then, and Logan let him. Logan turned to watch him slowly approach Patton and Virgil, his hands out in a placating manner. He stopped a few feet away.

“Hey,” his father said. “That was a bit scary, huh?” Virgil looked at him, eyes wide and darting around like they did when he was looking for an escape. There wasn’t much of one being so close to the edge of the cliff. Logan would worry he’d contemplate throwing himself off of it in a bid to escape if Patton wasn’t hugging him to prevent that. “You did a good job.”

That seemed to give Virgil pause as his eyes focused on Father. “Good job?” he asked.

“Yes, well,” father said with a small smile, “judging by what those darts are doing to the grass and how far we are from any supplies for counter potions, I think you blocking them probably saved my life. So, I think a ‘good job’ is in order.”

Virgil did not respond verbally, though he tilted his head like he did when he was thinking through the steps of a potion. His posture changed enough that Patton released him cautiously, taking a step away.

“But,” Virgil said. “I’m an assassin.”

“Yes,” Father said, glancing towards the cliff’s edge. “I could tell by how that fight just went.”

Virgil shifted his weight. “I came here to kill you.”

Father seemed to think about this for a moment before he spread his arms wide. “Yet, here I am,” he pointed out. “You’ve had me alone multiple times including once in a secret room possibly no one would have ever found. Plus, you saved me today. I think that more than makes up for the intentions you had months ago.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to send me to prison?” Virgil asked. “Or execute me?”

“No, of course not,” his father said.

Virgil eyed him, still slightly warry.

“I promise, Virgil, you’re fine.”

“Dad wouldn’t lie,” Logan interjected. Virgil looked over at him and then back at Father. He nodded slowly.

“Good,” Father said. “Now can we get a bit further back from the edge?” He glanced at Patton. “You too, Patton.”

Virgil and Patton both stepped towards him, and he herded them as well as Logan away from the cliff until they were at the edge of the surrounding forest. They left all of their picnic supplies where they sat.

Once they were sufficiently away from the cliffside, Father turned back to Virgil. “Can I touch your face?” he asked.

Virgil nodded and Father pulled out a handkerchief. He carefully wiped the blood off Virgil’s face the best he could (most of it was not Virgil’s) and inspected the boy’s split lip and already bruising eye.

“Is your chest alright?” Father asked.

Virgil nodded. “Yeah.”

Father considered him. “Enough to ride back to the castle.”

“It wasn’t that bad of a hit,” Virgil insisted.

Father studied him for a moment longer. “I’ll choose to believe you for now,” he said. “We should get back to the castle as soon as possible just in case this is not an isolated attack.”

“We don’t work in teams,” Virgil informed them. “They worry we’d get emotionally attached to each other and not complete our missions to standard.”

“I can understand why they would say something like that,” Father said, letting just a bit of his scorn come through, “but still, we should be on our way.”

With that, he put an arm on Virgil’s back to guide him back towards where they’d left the horses.

“Huh,” Logan said to Patton as they began to walk behind them. “I thought we’d be in more trouble for all of this.”

His father paused, overhearing that. He turned to look at them over his shoulder briefly.

“Ah,” said Logan with a grimace. “I see.”

“It’s been nice being your friend all these years Logan,” Patton said solemnly. “Too bad we’re both going to be locked in our rooms for the rest of our lives.”

“Until your 50s with good behavior,” Father informed them blandly.

That was… probably fair. They did allow an assassin to freely roam the castle for months without telling anyone. The fact that his father was now watching that particular assassin like a hawk to make sure he wasn’t more injured than he was saying, did not change this fact.

Logan couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.

[pencilpat]

Sanders Sides: College AU - Part 3

Character sheets | Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2

Patton has a very bad night, like many before it, that quickly descends into a very nice night, like none they've had before it.

Janus seethes. Remus tries to help.

2,531 words

[CW: alcohol, manipulation, implied abusive father, nightmares, panic attack, religion, sexual themes/implications, unintentional misgendering

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It’s always the same sea. The dark, choppy water blasting foam into their mouth, tossed around and around in the storm.

Every night this dream comes, and even asleep Patton’s dream self has come to accept it, letting the waves toss them limply as they choke. Suddenly they are tossed onto a rock, and their drenched form lays naked on the cold surface. Shaking, they gasp at the freezing air, coughing up seawater. They drag themselves to their feet, stumbling down the rock, compelled by the same force as always. “Someone wants to see you,” calls their mind, driving each shivering footstep.

They make it to the beach, that grey sand cutting into their feet with torn bits of shell. There, as always, they collapse on the beach, subconsciously preparing themselves. There is a great sloshing of the ocean, and a shadow rises above them; they gasp wetly as it overtakes them. Patton sits up on the coarse sand, turning to look at the statue before them. “Hi, pa,” they whisper. The statue is silent, looming.

Hugging their legs, Patton looks up at the stone eyes. Their gazes lock, and they brace themselves.

Water gushes from the eyes, nose, and mouth of the statue, falling directly onto them in torrents, burying them beneath deep, dark water. They can do nothing but sob and choke, drowning, drowning, drowning.

They jolt awake, gasping. Patton grips their hand into the sheets just beside the body of their sleeping partner, glancing up at him through hurried breath to make sure they haven’t woken him. Virgil is sleeping soundly, thankfully, and they swallow hard as they sit up and stare at the wall.

Being in bed becomes too upsetting, and like many nights before this they stand up to go sit in the living room. They fall onto the main couch and drop their head into their hands. If they didn’t know any better, they’d think God was torturing them. But they know by now that He’s not watching close enough to care. Their face furrows up, and a few hot tears spill into their palm.

The house itself is upsetting. All of it is. They need to get out. They need to run! This swelling restlessness fills their gut, and Patton inhales sharply as they go back to their room just briefly to put on clothes. Virgil doesn’t stir in his sleep as they quietly dress themselves, throwing on one of Virgil’s black hoodies over their own clothes, perhaps to make them look scary, but more to make them feel scary. They glance at his black hair peeking out of the covers as they pass through the doorframe, but worry over him isn’t enough to unravel the storm twisting their gut and telling them to escape, somehow.

In Roman’s car, halfway towards nowhere, the world barely feels real to them. Patton listens to wind whistle against their ears from the window and zones out to the tune of yellow street lights and honking late night drivers. They even honk at people themselves, something they’ve never done before. It’s just the agitation, they tell themselves, rubbing their forehead. It’s just the lack of rest and the fact that I’m in the party side of town.

Rows and rows of bars line the streets, and Patton’s fingers tap the wheel anxiously. They chew on their lip, breathe in deep, and pull over on the street next to the first one appearing to be a gay bar – perhaps that will be safer? Having never gone to a bar in their life, Patton feels ridiculous and child-like on the sidewalk outside. Being an over 6 foot, stocky person brings them no comfort, and they bet they’d look small next to a 4-foot-nothing guy right now.

The door is pushed open onto music and mostly darkness. The only lights are underlighting the bar and the neon glow-in-the-dark dance floor and wall designs lit up under black lights. People are mostly dancing rather than sitting, so the bar has many available seats. Patton nervously shuffles onto a stool that glows with bright blue flecks under the lighting. Every seat is a seemingly random color, and they do admit the effect is very pretty – like bioluminescent sea creatures in the deep dark. The haze of bodies crushing and pulling and swaying makes them dizzy.

“Hey, buddy?” someone calls, fully tapping them. Patton startles, adjusting their glasses as they look up at the bartender. “I asked what you’d like to drink!” The bartender is an older woman with buzzed hair and black lipstick on, Patton would consider her very pretty if they were focused enough to process it. Instead, they stumble on an order.

“Um, how about, uh- I don’t know the names of drinks- Uhh a martini?” They laugh nervously, but manage to spit out the first drink they could think of.

The bartender gives them a look that seems to be pitying, and nods, going off to make their drink. Patton puffs out a breath and sets their forehead in their palm.

“You look nervous,” a smooth voice from beside them calls out above the bumping music. Patton startles, and turns to look at the golden flecked stool beside them. A woman with two toned hair smiles at them there, giving a little wave. She already has a drink, something that glows and bubbles under the blacklights. “Up here, honey,” she laughs, and Patton’s wide-eyed gaze meets hers properly.

“S-sorry! I… ah, geeze, I guess I am nervous.” Patton lets loose a high-pitched giggle, truly overcome with the nerves.

“Cute jacket. You look too old for this to be your first night out. Is it the being alone?” The woman sips her drink, animatedly glancing around the two of them as if looking for threats. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite without consent.”

Patton gapes at her open-mouthed, cheeks going dark with blush. The girl laughs smoothly, and also begins blushing. Patton can just barely see lighter patches of vitiligo under the lights, but every part of her skin aside from her face is covered somehow, mostly in skintight black clothing.

“You look like someone just puked in front of you or something, am I that bad at flirting?”

“Oh, oh no no, it’s not that! I’ve just- I never- This actually is my first night out. Um, ever. I’ve never even been in a bar before.”

The girl tilts her head to the side, her face seeming to wrinkle with confusion. “Wait, seriously?! Your first time ever?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Oh my gosh! Do you have a drink coming? I can help you choose a nice one if you’d like.”

“I- I’ll be honest, I ordered a martini on impulse, I don’t know any drinks.” Just as they were saying it, the bartender comes back over holding said drink, setting it before them.

“Oh, hey!” she calls to the woman. “Let me guess, you’re paying for this one? Or are you managing to sit next to a pretty girl and not flirt for once?”

Patton cringes at the girl comment, but they don’t expect much else from a stranger considering their presentation. The woman nods and winks, shushing her finger over her lips. The bartender laughs, definitely knowing this woman well. She must be a regular, Patton decides.

“Get two BJs for us, and then we’ll see.” As the tender walks off with the money, Patton glances at the woman cautiously. She looks at them as well, smirking. “Based off of that face I’m guessing ‘girl’ wouldn’t be best.” Patton startles, and the woman smiles wider. “You make expressions like a cartoon character, and you cringed the second that word left Katty’s mouth, love.”

“W-well… Yes, uh, girl wouldn’t be best. I’m nonbinary. Thanks for, um… noticing? I-I don’t know.”

“You can relax. You’ll be ok, um…?” The woman extends her gloved hand in question, stalling for a name.

“Pat,” they offer, shaking her hand. They know better than to give a full name to a stranger.

The woman’s smile chills over a bit, but she doesn’t say anything. “Call me J.”

“Jay, like a bird? Or the letter?”

She laughs, melodic and cool. “Yes, the letter. I mean, you know how it is with strangers and all.” Patton tenses up slightly, and turns back to the bar to stare at their martini. ”Are you going to try it, Pat?”

“I- I will, yeah,” they gulp, another nervous laugh worming its way out of them. They pick up the drink, and bring it to their lips shakily. It doesn’t taste nice, but it’s not horrible either. It does make them cringe slightly, and the woman definitely notices as Patton watches her black-stained lips curl up at the corners yet again.

“Didn’t like it?”

“It’s really… unique. I haven’t had much alcohol before. I don’t think anything else really tastes like this!”

“Unique. What a funny word for it.”

The bartender, Katty apparently, comes back with two shot glasses stacked high with whipped cream. The liquor inside is a light toffee color. “Here you go, guys! Make sure she drinks it right!” She walks off before any corrections on gender can be made, and Patton chalks it up to her seeming to be older, in her 50s at least.

J grabs the drinks and slides them to the edge of the table. “Stand up with me, there’s a special way to drink these – you can’t use your hands,” she winks, gesturing to her mouth. Patton flushes again as they watch her place her hands behind her back, and lean over the shot glass, taking it around the rim in her mouth and tilting her head up and back to knock the alcohol into her mouth. She sets it back on the bar with a flushed laugh.

Patton stares at their own, unsure if they can manage that feat. They try though, for the impulse of it, stanced with their feet to the side and leaning down. They can feel how intensely they’re being watched by J as their lips close on the glass, whipped cream already on their tongue. It hits them why it’s called a ‘BJ’ as they lean back and choke just slightly on the sweet alcohol. It’s nice, though, tasting like coffee and cream.

“Good job!” The woman claps her hands together once, chuckling.

“That tasted really good actually,” they admit a bit timidly.

“Of course you like the sweet stuff. You look that type.”

“What do you mean?”

“You look sweet as pie, honey,” she says, putting on a faux southern accent like a stereotypical cowgirl.

Patton laughs, bashful. They don’t get flirted with often, and in fact Virgil is their first partner ever-

Oh. Virgil. Patton tenses up, suddenly horridly ashamed at having felt attraction to anyone else. “Oh my god, I- I’m sorry, I forgot to say, I have a partner! I- Oh my gosh I’m sorry, I know you’re flirting with me but it’s-“

“Calm down, honey,” J laughs. “I could kind of guess, honestly. The hoodie doesn’t fit well… and it doesn’t suit you at all. Patchwork isn't your thing - very 'unique' though. One of a kind.”

Patton blanches slightly, staring at her, not for the first time tonight. “You’re really um… perceptive!”

“Hell, someone has to be on this miserable planet, right?” She laughs, then sighs. “Well, there goes my night.” A pause. “Or maybe not. You still need a bar buddy, even if the partner slot is taken. Who else would keep you safe among these scoundrels,” she hisses the last part, like someone telling a campfire story with intent to terrify. “You, Pat, are going to get all of the best drinks from the best bars in town or so help me god.”

Patton laughs, untensing and feeling a little more comfortable by J being silly to them instead of flirtatious. “Well, I mean, if you say so! I- I do probably need to go tonight-“

“What?” J calls, as a particularly loud song begins, covering up all speech between them. Patton huffs in frustration, and grabs her hand gently, tugging her all the way out of the bar. When they turn back to face her, standing on the pavement in the streetlights, she looks at them with a bemused smirk, friendly and open.

“I needed to get out of there. Look, J, how about you give me your number? You seem nice, and you’re very welcoming… I don’t drink often. Or really at all besides tonight. But maybe we can try other things?”

J laughs again in that musical, cold tone, touching her forehead. “You sure are something, Pat. Denying my flirting but still taking my number? How could you,” her tone is light and teasing, and she holds out her hand to receive their phone. She adds a number in, and texts herself. “There you go, Mx. Pat. If you don’t mind, I have more bars to hop. So… see you sometime, then.”

Patton nods silently, though they give her a genuine smile and a wave as she walks off down the street. They walk towards the car with a shaky breath to themselves. Patton looks down at J’s text to herself, and finds a simple heart emoji followed by a green apple as the contact name.

---

Janus slams the door as she steps inside, slumping against the wall, having no assistance of crutches tonight. Remus startles upright, mid mouthful of candy from her cupboards. “Hey, you’re back!”

“Ugh,” she simply offers, dragging herself along the wall. She wobbles, and semi-collapses down to the floor with her back against the wall. Remus makes a noise of surprise and rushes over to her, reaching out a hand. “I’m fine, Remus, stop. I just… need to sit here.” Her head spins, woozy with drunkenness. Her heart is beating so quick it sounds like pounding in her ears.

“Janus, you look like hell’s asscrack! Jesus, you reek of booze, are you okay?”

"I’m fine. Leave it at that.”

“But you just nearly fainted! Are you-“

“Yeah, my heart gets weird when I drink, asshole,” she hisses, putting her dizzy head in her palm.

“Jan, geeze, are you seeing doctors and stuff? You know I can help you out, money-wise, I make-“

“Shut up.” She grits her teeth, trying to breathe through the beginning of tears. A few more breaths and they disappear.

“Why? Can I not help you? You… you’re living so poorly, y’know, and I make enough to-“

“I don’t need to owe you something,” Janus seethes into her palm, eyes squeezed shut.

“Who said anything about owing me something? I can pay for it, rea-“

“I don’t need your fucking money, Remus. Just stop. Stop.”

“I want to help you.”

“You don’t even know me anymore.”

Remus is silent, and she leaves it at that, hauling herself up and dragging her way to her room without glancing back at him. Remus watches her go, watches her shut her door and leave him alone. Strangely, though, the sensation of a wall being erected before him isn’t there. There is openness, still, simply concealed under anger that is not his causing. He scratches at his facial hair, sighing. He resolves to check on her later, maybe talk about it when she isn’t exhausted and reeking of a night of drinking. He does know her, and nothing about her has changed.

Janus has always been a liar, after all.

[edupunkn00b]

A Modern Family

Written for the wonderful @just-some-gt-trash as part of the @sanderssidesgiftxchange. I'm sorry pinch-hitting meant your gift was late but it meant I got to play in a fun world! I hope you enjoy this little tale.

Rated: G - WC: 4078 - CW: mentions of rodents and spiders -

Christmas and New Year's over, the nights were still long and cold. The forecasters' over-promised snow fell softly outside the windows of the Sanders brothers' house. 'Spring' semester started next week at Logan’s school, so he and Patton had decided this would be a good evening to finally take down their holiday decorations and start to prepare for the new year ahead.

Seeded with a small box of keepsakes from their grandparents, they’d managed to accumulate quite the collection over the past six years, so they’d started early that evening in the hopes of completing their task before bed.

But even the best laid plans can fail. They’d only partially dismantled the tree and cleared the mantle, with candles and stockings and bric-à-brac filling three boxes to the brim, when Patton suddenly yawned, both arms stretched high over his head.

“Wow, Logie,” he said past another drawn out yawn. “I’m feeling like an old drum.”

Logan rolled his eyes at his brother’s old joke but couldn’t quite stifle his snort.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Patton continued, too tired to notice Logan’s rare acknowledgement of his pun. He hefted up the stack of boxes he’d set behind the couch. “I’ll take these up,” he said, darting for the stairs.

Logan half-turned toward him, one arm wrapped with the singular string of tree lights he’d successfully detangled. “Would you like some—”

“No!” Patton interrupted. He fumbled the boxes, the top jiggling as he scrabbled for a better handhold  “No, I’ve got ‘em,” he said, laughing. “The boxes.” His face pinked and he shrugged his burden with a grin. “The boxes, I mean.”

“Yes,” Logan nodded. “I can see that.” Perhaps sleep was best for him. “Good night, then, Pat.”

Patton was half-way up the stairs before he’d finished his sentence.

“‘Night, Logie!” he called over his shoulder just before the big closet upstairs slammed shut. Patton’s own bedroom door soon followed and Logan was left alone in the quiet living room.

~

It took Logan just over another hour to detangle and rewind the last of the tree lights and he stood back to assess their progress. The room was nearly restored to its standard appearance. There were now a few more books on the shelves and two new video games beneath the console. An unsealed tray of candied nuts sat on the coffee table, just next to the new coasters Logan had bought ‘for the house.’

Both gifts had been for the house. That's what the tags had said, at least. While the coasters were intended as a gentle reminder for Patton to not set drinking glasses down where their condensation would leave rings on unprotected surfaces, the sweet treats were really gift for their closest neighbors.

Their very closest neighbors.

Last July, he and Patton had moved in to their not-so-new house—‘It has good bones!’ the real estate agent had crowed. And, despite the rare-but-too-frequent-for-Patton appearances of tiny spiders throughout the house, they'd agreed. Their new home was large, with plenty of space for Logan’s third floor office overlooking the woods and Patton’s chicken coop in the backyard. Despite the high ceilings and many windows, the thick, well-insulated walls had kept them comfortably cool on even the hottest days.

It hadn’t been until September, on the first chilly night of the year, that Logan had begun to suspect they weren’t the only mammals living within its walls.

At first Logan had surmised his brother’s less-than-fastidious kitchen habits had led to a minor rodent infestation. Small amounts of food had began to go missing. He’d found opened cracker boxes with long, thin slits torn into their linings. Patton’s Nutter Butters ran out faster than typical and a hole sprouted near the bottom of his bagged coffee beans. They never found any droppings or teeth marks, so they simply repackaged everything in airtight containers and didn’t think much more of it.

Until October came.

It was midterm season and Logan had a thick stack of essays waiting for him on his desk. While requiring students to hand-write their exams in class had proved an effective deterrent against AI drivel, it meant more work for him in grading—and deciphering—over two hundred essays written with varying levels of coherence and legibility. Waiting for that evening’s fourth cup of coffee to brew, he’d removed his eyeglasses and leaned back against the counter, relishing a moment of required rest.

“You know,” a tiny voice drawled a few inches from his ear. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new coffee tin.”

He jolted up, barely avoiding the now-simmering kettle, and found himself eye-to-eye with… a person. A very smallperson.

“What?” Logan ripped off his eyeglasses and polished them on his sweater. Hands shaking, he replaced them and stepped closer, staring. “What are you?”

“Excuse you,” the little creature harrumphed, smoothing the sleeves of a tiny overcoat. “I am a who, not a ‘what.’”

Logan blinked at the creature for a long moment and it snapped its fingers inches from his nose. “Hel-lo? Anyone home?” When Logan still couldn’t quite find his words, it sighed. “It appears Remus was wrong about you. He said you could handle it but I knew we should have—”

“Remus? You—he? There’s more—”

Logan’s sputtering was cut off by the kettle's screech. Hands covering its—his? Their?—ears, it jumped down from the shelf and stomped on the switch, silencing the whistle. The action shook free the logjam of thoughts in Logan’s brain. “How did you know to do that?”

“Oh, look, he finally speaks,” the little creature murmured, one eyebrow cocked. “Well, I’ve watched you often enough.”

“You’ve…” Logan shuddered as he glanced around the kitchen, every shadow, every nook and cranny looming and large. “You’ve been watching us?”

“Yes, of course w—” The creature cut themself off, large—for their face—eyes suddenly widening before falling back to a more languid shape. “Look at us,” they said, gesturing between them.  “Your size makes you remarkably more threatening to me than I could ever be to you.”

“You could poison me,” Logan blurted out. “Or nick my carotid artery or cause me to aspirate Vaseline—”

Both hands pressed over their belly, the little creature laughed, an incongruously cheerful sound that halted Logan’s litany faster than anything else could have. “While I appreciate the list…” they said when they finally caught their breath. They wiped tiny tears from the corners of their eyes, soaking the butter yellow gloves they wore. “That would mean murdering the best resource w—I’ve had in years.”

“Resource?” Logan repeated, lowering into a crouch to once again get to eye-level with the creature. Looking closer at the gloves, he recognized the material of his favorite proctoring tie. The creature’s waistcoat looked suspiciously like the tie he wore now. Frowning, he examined the material of his own. The silk was completely unmarred, but bringing it closer to the creature’s clothing, the match was undeniable.

“No need to worry, I’d sooner go naked than damage your lovely neckwear.” The creature smiled—knowingly, infuriatingly, with a little gleam in their eyes. He stroked the edge of his tie. “You never use the coordinating pocket squares.”

“I thought…”

Patton’s confused grin when Logan had thanked him after his last run to Goodwill suddenly made sense. When the small stack of unworn handkerchiefs and pocket squares in the back of his closet had disappeared, Logan had assumed Patton included them in his donation. He now understood just where they'd really gone.

“You’re behind the missing food,” he whispered, the creature’s comment about his coffee canister replaying in his mind.

“Perhaps Remus was right after all,” the creature murmured and offered their hand, palm side-ways. Carefully, softly, Logan pinched the offered hand between the pad of his thumb and index finger in a simulacrum of a handshake. “My name is Janus,” the creature smiled. “And we need to have a talk about your new food storage system.”

Over shared coffee—Janus carried his own miniature mug clipped to the pack slung across his back—they discussed how difficult it had become for Janus and his friend, Remus, to gather food from their kitchen. Ever since Logan and Patton had begun their anti-rodent measures in the kitchen, their small neighbors had been left to subsist on literal crumbs and the rare windfalls when Patton had left a package or treat out for longer than usual. After much discussion and negotiation, he and Janus crafted an agreement that both kept the kitchen sanitary and their little neighbors safe and well-fed.

“Besides,” Janus had murmured, sipping happily at his second cup of coffee. “Remus takes great pleasure in slaughtering any sort of pest that might dare enter this home.” He waggled his head, considering his words, before adding. “Excepting, of course, spiders,” he said, rolling his eyes. “He adores them.”

“Yes, we’ve seen a few,” Logan grimaced. “Though, as frightened as Patton is of them, he would never kill them.”

Smiling that strange smile again, Janus nodded. “So we’ve noticed,” he finally said. “To be honest, that restraint was the only thing that left me confident to approach you without fear of being squashed on sight.”

~

And so began a very different sort of routine. Each night, Logan would wash and refill a small, shallow container with bits of fruit and meats and bread along with several coffee beans. Occasionally, he’d include a small sachet of loose tea or other treats of chocolate and candies Patton had recently made.

Water was trickier, but after some experimentation, Logan had installed a small rodent-sized water feeder in an upper cabinet, threading the bent barrel through a small hole he’d drilled in the back wall when Patton was out shopping. He sanitized it every two days and refilled it with fresh water each night.

His brother held a deep compassion for animals, that same compassion that kept Logan from using bait or traps or, worse, a cat, to manage their presumed rodent problem. Janus was confident Patton's compassion would overrule his even deeper fear of 'creepy, crawl death dealers' and slow a violent reaction should either suddenly appear before him.

Logan did not share Janus' confidence and extracted promises from each of them to stay out of his brother’s sight entirely.

Remus, dressed in a shiny green-and-black striped jester suit newly stitched together from a regrettably ink-stained necktie, had been reluctant to promise. In the end, though, he’d been convinced by Patton’s well-timed shriek at the discovery of a spider in the upstairs bath.

Perhaps that is why, when Logan sealed another box of decorations and happened upon the green-and-black pant leg sticking out from beneath the couch, he had only sighed and tapped his foot. “Remus?” he called quietly, eyes darting automatically to the stairs to guard against a surprise arrival from Patton. “Remus what are you doing under there?”

When Remus remained unresponsive, he tapped again, a little harder. “Remus?” he repeated, the unnatural stillness unnerving. “Remus, are you alri—” Cupping his hand, he gently scooped up the small creature and freed him from beneath the couch.

And nearly dropped him. Well, it. Clad in Remus’ green and black outfit was the similarly-sized Elf-on-a-shelf figurine Patton had jokingly purchased just after Thanksgiving.

“Oh, no,” Logan whispered, clutching the small doll to his chest. “Remus?” he hissed, pushing up to his feet. “Remus, where are you?” He scanned the room, checking all the corners where the duo liked to hide as they joined in on his and Patton’s movie nights, checked the bookcase where he’d arranged a reversed magnifier close to the smallest volumes in his collection to ease their reading. Nothing.

Finally, his eyes dragged up to the shelf where said Elf sat all December.

Completely cleared.

Patton had packed up all the knick-knacks and decorations hours ago. Remus couldn’t be hiding there. “Remus?” he tried again.

“He isn’t home. Hasn’t been all day.” Janus’ voice carried from a crack in the wall, tight with worry. “He went out early in the morning but should be back by now. I don’t know where he is.”

Janus stepped out from their hidden doorway into the living room. Hat crooked and his knees dusty, never before had Janus appeared so not put together. Dirt smudged his cheek and loose threads hung from the cuff of his left glove. “I’ve looked everywhere. I can’t find him.”

“Oh, Jay…” Logan whispered and moved to scoop him up. “We’ll find him together. I think…” His eyes flicked upstairs. “I think Patton might have packed him with the Christmas decorations. But we must hurry. He—”

Janus’ eyes, already glossy, grew wide. “All that bubblewrap? And if he breaks out to breathe and Patton sees him, he might—”

“We'll find him," Logan promised, holding him close before. "Let's go." Already headed for the stairs, at Janus' nod Logan slipped him into a deep pocket to hide and dashed up to the second floor.

~

Covers pulled up over his head with the space beneath illuminated by his phone’s flashlight, Patton lay, belly down, on his bed. His stockinged feet switched between resting on his pillow and kicking the edge of the blanket as he laughed.

And unwrapped another chocolate for Remus.

“Okay, okay, okay, my turn,” he giggled. “Where does a general put his armies?”

Sprawled on his side with melted chocolate painting the edges of his mustache, Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. “In the ground?”

“No!” Patton whisper-shrieked with a giggle. “In his sleevies!”

Falling onto his back and holding his belly, Remus laughed, the sweet tinkle matching the bells twitching on his borrowed hat and boots. Patton grinned as he broke off another tiny bit of his Ghirardelli square and passed it to him. He tapped one of the bells with another laugh. “I still can’t believe how long you managed to sit up on the mantlepiece.”

Eyebrows danced over wild eyes and Remus shrugged. “All your brother saw was the costume.”

Patton popped another chocolate into his own mouth and shook his head. “I thought for sure he caught me when he asked if I needed help with the box.” Reaching slowly, he dabbed at Remus’ face with the edge of his pajama sleeve, wiping away a tiny glob of chocolate. “You were laughing so loud!”

“Nah,” Remus leaned into Patton’s touch and curled against his hand. “Your brother’s so worried about you he wouldn’t notice if I’d stripped down in the middle of the living room.” Waggling his eyebrows, Remus winked. “He didn’t, did he?”

“That spider was suspiciously timed,” Patton murmured, stroking Remus’ hair back with the edge of his thumb.

Remus hummed, eyes falling shut. “Y’know they’re really not so bad when you give them a chance.”

“No, thank you!” Patton said for the millionth time. He twitched under the covers, just the thought of being near one of those horrible things sending an icy chill down his limbs.

Remus moved closer and hugged his hand. “Don’t worry, Pattycake,” he said, softer. “They won’t get too close to you.” His grin went sharp. “If they know what’s good for ‘em.”

“Thanks, Re,” he whispered. “You always know just what to—”

Patton froze at Logan’s sudden voice just outside his door. “Pat?” he called, voice low like he was afraid he’d wake him.

Pressing one finger to his lips, Patton drew Remus close and poked his head out from under the covers. He checked the time. He’d gone upstairs over two hours ago. Logan would expect him to be asleep by now, right?

Keeping Remus tucked against his chest so he wouldn’t squish him, Patton turned them around and lay back down under the covers, head now on the pillow. He’d just remembered to flip over his phone to hide the flashlight as Logan slowly opened the door.

“Pat?” he whispered into the darkness. Silhouetted by the hall light, Logan’s head turned from side to side as he peered into the room.

Rubbing his eyes with one hand—the other holding Remus under the covers—Patton put on a sleep-fuzzy voice. “Logie? You okay?”

“I am fine, I—I apologize for waking you, Patton.” He sounded rushed and… anxious.

Under the covers, Remus curled closer, stroking just over Patton’s sternum. He'd heard it, too. He wiggled against him, a welcome reminder he was still close and Patton took a steadying breath.

“Did something happen?”

“I—No. No, nothing to worry about, Patton.” He’d put on his calm, Big Bro voice. “I… I merely found a few additional items downstairs I’d neglected to pack away in the boxes you’d brought up. I went to find them and they weren’t all in the closet. I… Do you…”

He cleared his throat and Patton pulled Remus a little closer when he felt a snicker escape him. Logan didn’t seem to hear.

“Do you have the mantle box in here?” Logan finally asked, still in the doorway.

“Oh,” Patton giggled. That’s all he was worried about? “Oh, sure,” he said, sitting up a bit more and clicking on his bedside lamp. “By the dresser.” Relieved he’d thought to retape the box where he’d hidden Remus, he pointed freely.

Logan’s eyes widened when he saw the sealed box and he pounced on it, tearing at the tape.

“Logie?” Tucking Remus under the covers, he slid out of bed and moved to Logan’s side as he rifled through the box. He took out the bubble-wrapped snow globe and their stockings, along with the heavy copper hooks that held them in place. He pushed aside the ten years’ worth of Santa photos, the ice skating figurine, and the Phantom of the Opera music box that always played too loud.

Increasingly frantic, Logan’s fingers scraped the bottom of the box.

“Logie?” Patton asked again. “Are you looking for something?”

“Tell him!” A tiny voice—not Remus’ voice—came from Logan’s pocket.

Logan straightened, looking everywhere but at Patton.

“Who was that?” Patton asked and he swore he heard another of Remus’ little snickers from the bed.

“Wha—I—It—” Logan shook his head. “I didn’t hear anything. I am merely looking for—”

“Looking for me?” Remus called loudly from the bed, bells jangling.

The little voice swore from Logan's pocket. “Dammit, Remus!”

“Re!” Patton cried, moving to the bed.

“Re?” Logan repeated, grabbing for his hand before Patton got far. He finally met his eyes. “Re?” he asked again.

“The jig is up, Pattycake,” Remus laughed, shimmying down the comforter and dropping to the carpeted floor with the whisper of a thud. Pulling back from Logan, Patton rushed to meet him. He scooped him up and gently cradled him in both hands, over-sized elf costume bouncing with the movement. He brought him closer for Logan to see.

“Yes. 'Re.' Logan, this is Remus,” he admitted. “He won’t hurt you. He's friendly!”

Sitting criss-cross on Patton’s palm, Remus waved and blew a kiss at Logan. “Hey there, Lo Lo!”

“I know who he is!” Logan cried, hand to his head. “How do you know who he is?”

“You know!?”

“Of course he knows!” The other voice said and a tiny head popped out from Logan’s pocket.

“Oh, hi, Jannie,” Remus said, sounding guilty for the first time that evening.

The tiny person in Logan’s pocket—so this was the friend Remus had talked about—tapped Logan’s side and he moved to retrieve him. Palms flat and close to his chest, he carried him on his hands in a near match to how Patton held Remus.

Though instead of sitting comfortably as Remus did, the other—Jannie—clung to Logan’s tie with one hand and stood, glaring at Remus. “Do you have even a concept of how worried we were?”

“What?” Remus’ grin scrunched into actual concern and he tugged Patton’s sleeve to move closer. “I told you I was going to go see my boyfriend!”

“I thought you meant the orb spider in the backyard!”

Patton shivered at the memory of the spindly striped legs of the giant spider under the deck railing out back. Nestled close to the dryer vent, it had found a cozy spot to spin its webs for the winter.

Remus was quick to soothe him, though, tiny fingers scritchting his palm. “Don’t worry, Patton, it’s not like that with Charlie.”

“Aw, Re…” Patton bowed his head to brush the very lightest of kisses against the top of his head. He must’ve ditched the hat somewhere along his path down from Patton’s bed. “I don’t own you. Just… don’t bring him home, okay?”

“Deal,” Remus grinned, settling back against his palm.

“Wait a minute!”

All eyes turned to Logan. Eyes wild and each cheek dotted with an angry red spot, he looked ready to burst. Remus nodded to Janus in warning just before jumping over to join him on Logan’s hand. Then he climbed up his sleeve and all the way up to his head. Laying on his stomach, he moved his arms and legs, massaging his scalp. Janus followed a similar path up his other arm but stopped on his shoulder, gently stroking his jaw.

Patton took Logan's now-empty hand.

“You’ve got our attention, Lo Lo,” Remus said, voice only slightly muffled by Logan’s hair.

“Patton,” he began through clenched teeth. He searched his eyes. “How long have you known?”

Guilt pricked his belly and he squeezed Logan’s hand. “I met Remus just after your classes started.”

“What!?” Janus cried, glaring up at Remus on top of Logan’s head. “So when you said we should tell Logan first, Patton already knew?”

Remus gave him his best smile and shrugged.

“Yeah…” He twirled a bit of Logan’s hair in his hands. “I thought it’d be funny.” Logan looked like he wanted to be mad, but Remus’ fiddling seemed to have the same effect on Logan as it had on him. His shoulders had dropped, arms only loosely crossed over his chest but then he’d frown, jaw suddenly clenched. It wouldn't last, though.

“I didn’t think anybody’d be able to keep the secrets up this long,” Remus explained after a moment. “I’m proud of you, Pattycake.” He winked and, despite the lingering annoyance in his brother’s gaze, Patton couldn’t stop his cheeks from warming.

Logan sighed and looked up, head tilted ever so slightly. “Remus, precisely how long ago did you make this particular change?” he asked, voice softer now.

“Oh, this?” he grinned, waggling his arms until the elf’s too-long sleeves flapped over his hands. The bells on the felt boots jangled with the movement. “This was just today.”

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I am disappointed in my lack of awareness and attention to detail,” he murmured and Janus slid closer, pressing a kiss just under his ear.

“Remus can be quite stealthy when he wishes to be,” he said. Scowling, his tiny face looked stern but pride warmed his voice. “You might be surprised by how often he’s been able to catch even me unawares.”

Remus shimmied back down and jumped to Logan’s shoulder. “It’s a gift,” he laughed and reached for Patton.

He gathered him up and smiled at his brother. “So now the secret’s out, maybe we can all go downstairs?” Looking at Janus happily perched on Logan’s shoulder, he grinned. His newest friend bowed his head in return with a matching smile. “Get everyone acquainted?”

“Hm? Ye—yes,” Logan blinked, glancing between him and Patton. “Yes, of course.” But the wheels still turned behind his eyes. “There was something you said…” he murmured and moved Janus to his palm. Arms outstretched, he peered at each of them in turn. “Remus, you said you’d gone to see your boyfriend.”

“Well, yeah,” Remus grinned, laying across Patton’s shoulder. He tickled his neck, laughing at the little squeak Patton couldn’t quite hide.

“Boyfriend.” Logan repeated, one eyebrow raised.

“Doesn’t seem all that different from you, Big Bro,” Patton grinned back. Janus half-sat, half-lay on Logan’s palm, smiling as Logan’s thumb seemed to unconsciously stroke his back.

Logan followed his gaze and blushed.

“Perhaps, well…” He cleared his throat. “Well, yes, I suppose that would not be… inaccurate,” he said, cheeks pinker than Patton had seen them in years. “Tea?” he asked, changing the subject and heading out into the hall. Janus’ low chuckle carried back to them and Patton followed, Remus on his shoulder.

“How ‘bout a hot toddy?” he called back.

“Remus!”

~

And, for a treat, here's one of the poses Remus kept up for over an hour on that mantle piece.

Credit: Photographer unknown, from an elf on the shelf posting found on Facebook Marketplace

[puzzled-pegasus]

did you know there's a Taylor Swift song for most if not all of the Sanders Sides ships?

Really early in my and @surenschompychompers ' Sides phase, we were on a phone call talking about them and we jokingly realized that for most if not all Sides ships, there's a Taylor Swift song that fits them. Since we're mostly out of it now and have nothing more to do with these, I thought I'd share them for still-going-strong fans to see :)

Logince: Gorgeous- come ON, is this not absolutely the way Roman talks and thinks about Logan??

Logicality: Lover- they are literally married and you can't convince me otherwise, god I love them so much

Analogical: Delicate- I can't really explain this one as well....it just be having the Vibe

Loceit: Getaway Car- this one's a teensy bit more specific, but I thought about this scenario where Logan and Janus rob a bank together and then Logan ends up double crossing Janus, does that not sound awesome??

Dukeceit: ...Ready For It?- oh my god, the drama and action and flirtyness of this song fits them perfectly, I love it

Prinxiety: Style- this was actually the first one we saw in the pattern. Not much of an explanation really, but the Vibes are really, REALLY strong.

Royality: Love Story- the dreamy, soft vibes of this song as well as the royalty motif make it a really good fit.

Anxceit: I Knew You Were Trouble.- Does this one really need an explanation?

Moxiety: cardigan- I don't actually know this song that well, so apologies if it doesn't fit, we just looked at the lyrics briefly before deciding lol

Dukexiety: We Are Never Getting Back Together- I think if Virgil and Remus ever DID have any sort of fling, it would be over quickly and Virgil would want to forget it ever happened, so this song fits my personal vibe of them.

Roceit: Look What You Made Me Do- Not really a ship song, more of Roman's revenge song for Janus making a fool of him.

Intrulogical: Blank Space- oh my god how funny this one is. It's so good. Go listen to it immediately and then look me in the eye and tell me the song does not fit them perfectly I dare you I fu--

Moceit: Mean- It's not really a ship song, just Patton complaining about Janus's negativity, but I think it fits.

(BONUS) Rosleep: Wildest Dreams- Remy and Roman would have the angstiest most dramatic breakup, oh my god, the hilarity. Someone go write a fic immediately.

I know I definitely missed someone so please let me know, I am notoriously forgetful when making lists lmfao

(@surenschompychompers, please let me know if you want me to delete this)

[nova-they-exist-yup]

You mentioned Roman's opinion of Mind being influenced by Heart. What do the sanders sides each think of Heart? (minus Patton, you already covered their relationship)

Conversely, what do Soul and Mind think of Patton?

AAAAAAA SORRY I HAVENT BEEN REPLYING BAND CAMP ATE ME BRIEFLY

Anyways-

I feel like in general, considering Heart’s general soft demeanor, all would at first assume he was generally pretty nice. Heart naturally grabs at people’s empathy and heartstrings and clings on, making it hard for people to take pity on him.

Overtime, though, is when this gets more interesting.

Janus would catch onto Heart’s manipulation pretty easily, and probably even warn the others about it. Virgil, who was already anxious about meeting new people, may or may not side with Janus on this.

Patton and Roman would probably become close friends with Heart. Roman would think that Janus is trying to trick them for some reason, which Patton is unsure of. Either way, Roman becomes close with Heart.

Logan would think Heart as decent. Heart does act a little bit ruder around him because Logan reminds him of Mind, but he wouldn’t be an absolute douche.

Remus loves playing pranks on Heart. He makes fun of him often and takes Mind’s side in arguments half the time (the other half, he just makes a side of his own). Heart absolutely hates Remus’ pranks, especially because he takes advantage of Heart’s blindness often.

And for Mind and Soul’s opinions of Patton?

Mind despises him. Patton reminds him of Heart, he won’t let go of Heart when Mind warns him, he sticks to Heart’s side of the argument like glue… They would not get along. (He probably would with Janus, now that I think about it.)

And Soul has a massive soft spot for Heart and Mind, and that rubs off on his view of Patton and Logan. He thinks highly of Patton, but does think that Heart could rub off on him.

Also, while we’re here: Soul looks at Patton and Logan’s relationship and immediately starts crying. Okay maybe that’s an over-exaggeration. Their relationship reminds him of Heart and Mind during Concord. They get along well, they respect each other and listen to one another. He helps them out and hangs out with them lots because of this.

[monkeythefander]

A Witch and a Baby

Chapter 5: A Vampire in the Library

Summary: It’s been two months since Logan became a parent, and with the help of his new friends raising Janus has become a bit easier. The witch has also had plenty of fun hanging out with his friends. All of these events seem to have caused Logan to forget something though. That something is an overdue library book. That book might just lead to another friend.

Content Warnings: Brief mention of singing lullabies (which are calming due partly to magic), nothing else that I’m aware of, but please let me know if I missed anything.

Relationships: All platonic

Click below the cut to read the fic and find links to the previous and next part

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It’s been two months now since Janus first arrived at Logan’s cottage. The witch feels a bit more confident in his parenting skills. This confidence is probably due to all the help he receives from his new friends. Patton helps babysit Janus during days when Logan needs a break, and Roman and Remus sing lullabies for Janus whenever Logan struggles with getting the baby to fall asleep.

Logan has also had a lot of fun spending time with his new friends. He can talk to Patton about mystery novels and gardening. With Roman, Logan can talk about Greek Mythology and poetry. Then with Remus, Logan can discuss magic and whatever other random things that the merman had questions about.

Logan even introduced Patton to the twins, and while Patton seemed a bit nervous around Remus at first, the two soon grew comfortable around each other and discussed different kinds of plants. With Roman, Patton got comfortable talking to him very quickly. The two discussed fashion and romance novels. Logan was happy to see his new friends bond and after the introduction, the friend group started to meet up at a cafe regularly. Janus seemed to enjoy seeing them all get along too, as the baby had started to smile a lot whenever the friend group hung out.

———————

One night in the cottage, when he was talking with Roman in the study after putting Janus to sleep, Logan glanced down at a piece of paper he had on his desk and remembered something he’d forgotten to do. The witch quickly grabbed the paper and began looking through the books on his bookshelf.

“What are you looking for, specs?” Roman asked, surprised by how quickly Logan stopped participating in their conversation to search through the bookshelf.

“I just remembered a library book I was supposed to return a week ago. I usually never forget to return my books. I hope I don’t have to pay too much for being late returning it.” Logan says as he keeps looking through the books, eventually finding the one he borrowed and pulled it off the shelf.

Logan then turns around to face Roman and asks, “Could you possibly stay here with Janus so I can go return the book now? It’s only eight o’clock, so I have an hour before the library closes for the night.”

“Sure, Logan. I can keep an eye on your little prince for you. I hope the returning process goes well.” The merman replies with a smile and motions for Logan to go. The witch nods his head in thanks and leaves the study with the book in his hand. Logan quickly grabs a bag and his wallet before heading out the door.

———————

Once he arrives at the library, Logan quickly enters the building and heads towards the front desk. Standing behind the counter is a tall man, dressed in ripped black jeans, a purple t-shirt, and a black hoodie with patches on it. The man is looking at something on his phone but glances up once he hears Logan’s footsteps approaching.

“Hello, what can I help you with this evening?” The man says in a customer service voice.

“Salutations. I just came here to return a book. I’m a few days late returning this though.” Logan replies and hands over the book to the library worker. The man takes the book and scans it before logging into the library’s system on the computer that’s on the counter.

“Okay, so you’re Logan Sharp then?” The man asks as he looks at the computer screen.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Okay, your book is late by a week so you have to pay five dollars.” The man says as he glances up from the computer to look at Logan.

Logan nods and pulls out his wallet from his bag. He takes out a five dollar bill from the wallet and hands it over to the man. The man takes it and goes to put it in the cash register.

“I can’t help but be curious, how come I haven’t seen you working here until today? I’ve been a frequent visitor of this library.” Logan asks as the man closes the cash register and hands Logan a receipt.

“Oh, well my shift is from the afternoon to closing time, so if you don’t come to the library later in the day then you probably wouldn’t ever see me.” The man replies as he goes back on the computer, probably to mark down the book as returned and paid for.

“That makes sense then. I typically come here early in the day. Are you always the only worker left in the front here?” Logan gestures around him at the empty front section of the library besides the two of them.

“Yeah, it’s usually just me by the desk at this time. There are a few other workers around though to reorganize the shelves though. I don’t mind the quiet though.” The man says with a small smile on his face. The smile reveals that the man has small fangs.

“That’s good. I like how quiet it can be here in the library too. The late shift must also be nice when you’re a vampire.” Logan remarks. Vampires are known to be mostly nocturnal. They have more energy at night, so the morning and early afternoon is when they usually sleep. The man seems surprised by Logan’s last statement.

“How did you know I’m a vampire?” The man questions.

“I saw your fangs when you smiled before. So…is the late shift good for vampires?” The witch asks.

“Yeah, it is. I can get some sleep in the morning before coming into work. My shift’s ending time is also nice since I get time to myself back at home while I’m still energized.” The man says with a slight smile again.

Suddenly, another library worker comes toward the front desk and starts speaking to the man.

“Well I’m leaving for the night. See you tomorrow, Virgil.” The library worker says before walking away.

“See you tomorrow, Lucy.” The man, Virgil, replies back as he watches Lucy leave. Then Virgil seems to glance at the time on the computer and sees the library closes in 10 minutes.

“Well, looks like I have to start closing up the library. It was nice meeting you, Logan.” Virgil holds out a hand for Logan to shake.

Logan nods and shakes Virgil’s hand.

“Same goes for you. Maybe we can continue our conversation another time, during or outside of your work hours.” The witch suggests, wanting to continue getting to know Virgil. The man seems interesting.

“Maybe. I’d be okay with that.” The vampire replies.

“Okay then, I’ll see you around then. Goodnight, Virgil.” Logan says before turning around and leaving the library.

Logan smiles to himself, thinking about how he has an interesting story to tell Roman when he gets home now.

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Endnotes: Thanks for reading chapter 5 of “A Witch and a Baby.” Please consider leaving a like, comment, and/or reblog if you enjoyed it. There will be one more chapter after this to wrap everything up, and then this fic will be completed. However, I’d be open to writing a oneshot or two that continue this au’s story (probably focusing on Janus growing up more) once this fic is done if anyone would be interested. So let me know if you’d be interested in that.

-Monkey 💜

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Links for this fanfic

Link to the next part: To be added

Link to previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/monkeythefander/741723113949200384/a-witch-and-a-baby-chapter-4-a-chaotic-first

Link to this chapter on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52055863/chapters/138282943