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alittlepieceofwarcraft · 6 years ago

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Loa: A Complete Lore Guide

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Summary list followed by an individual deep dive.

*Loas are roughly categorised for simplicity and may not 100% fit their section (eg Hakkar the Soulflayer appears serpent-like but may not be one, Jani can be argued to be both dinosaur and reptile).

What is a loa?

A loa is the name trolls give to the beings they worship, such as the Wild Gods. While beings such as the Celestials and Ancient Guardians are Wild Gods, trolls specifically worship what they consider to be loa.

Loa can live on to be reborn if their physical form is destroyed but not their spirit.

Summary list of loa

Aquatic loa

Gral the shark loa (Zandalari).

Krag’wa the frog loa (Darkspear, Zandalari).

Torga the turtle loa (Zandalari, Tortollans).

Bird loa

Akil’zon the eagle loa (Amani, Zandalari).

Jan’alai the dragonhawk loa (Amani, Zandalari).

Bear loa

Nalorakk the bear loa (Amani, Zandalari).

Rhunok the arctic bear loa (Drakkari).

Cat loa

Bethekk the panther loa (Gurubashi, Zandalari).

Eraka no Kimbul (or “Kimbul”, Farraki, Zandalari, Tortollans).

Halazzi the lynx loa (Amani, Zandalari).

Har'koa the snow leopard loa (Drakkari, Zandalari).

Shirvallah the loa of tigers (Darkspear, Gurubashi, Zandalari).

Dinosaur loa

Gonk the raptor loa (Darkspear, Zandalari).

Pa’ku the pterrordax loa (Zandalari).

Rezan the devilsaur loa (Zandalari).

Torcali the direhorn loa (Zandalari).

Insect loa

Elortha no Shadra (or “Shadra”), the spider loa (Vilebranch, Witherbark, Gurubashi, Farraki, Zandalari).

Kith'ix the C'Thraxxi loa (Zan'do's followers).

Reptile loa

Akunda the thunder lizard loa (Zandalari).

Hakkar the Soulflayer (Gurubashi, Vilebranch).

Hethiss the snake loa (Gurubashi, Zandalari).

Jani the saurid loa (Zandalari).

Quetz'lun the wind serpent loa (Drakkari).

Sethraliss the snake loa (Zandalari, Sethrak).

Sseratus the loa of serpents and snakes (Drakkari).

Tharon'ja the wind serpent loa (Drakkari).

Troll loa

Dambala (Darkspear, Zandalari).

Grimath (Zandalari).

Lukou (Darkspear, Zandalari).

Samedi loa of the grave (Darkspear).

Zanza (Zandalari).

Other loa

Akali the rhino loa (Drakkari).

Bwonsamdi the loa of death (Darkspear, Zandalari).

G’huun an Old God of blood (Blood trolls).

Hir’eek the bat loa (Blood trolls, Darkspear, Gurubashi, Zandalari).

Mam’toth the mammoth loa (Drakkari).

Ueetay no Mueh'zala (or “Mueh'zala”), the loa of death (Farraki).

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Deep Dive into the loa

Gral

Gral is a shark loa of the sea that is worshipped by the Zandalari tribe. It is said that he knows even the deepest and darkest parts of the ocean and watches over every voyage. He is known to be wise and powerful.

Five years before the war in Zandalar, the naga tore down Gral's temple Atal'Gral and killed every last one of his followers. Gral was weak from the attack and remained missing for many years. When the naga returned, he did too, hoping to defeat the force’s leader Summoner Siavass and he has sworn revenge upon Queen Azshara should she come up from where he knew she currently could not leave.

Krag’wa

Krag’wa is a frog loa honoured by both the Darkspear tribe and the Zandalari. He is known to be powerful, but also impulsive and demanding.

His followers used to bring him offerings from all around the Frogmarsh in Nazmir. The trolls began listening to the whispering darkness and in response Krag'wa stored some of his power in the totems that surround his lair. He refused to bend to the will of G’huun and so the blood trolls began attacking. Every one of his worshippers were slain and he was made weak, having to restore himself. Once strong again, he enacted revenge upon them.

He later participated in the final charge against the blood trolls in Year 33, led by Princess Talanji. He opened the way to their leader Grand Ma'da Ateena and also participated in the defence of Zuldazar when Zul sought to destroy the Great Seal. He held off blood trolls coming from the Blood Gate.

Crawgs are former tadpoles of Krag’wa that have been corrupted by the blood trolls' blood magic.

Torga

Torga is known as a wise and benevolent loa with the tortollan people making pilgrimages to him to hear his stories. He is worshipped by both the Zandalari and the Tortollans.

Torga was killed by the blood trolls in Nazmir. They consumed his flesh and used his blood to raise undead and to summon Jungo, Herald of the Blood God. The location of his body is known as Torga's Rest. Bwonsamdi later summoned the Spirit of Torga to the turtle loa. He later was reincarnated as a young turtle and now sits at the head of the tortollan Lashk.

Akil’zon

Akil’zon is the loa of eagles, worshipped by the Amani and Zandalari.

In Year 26, Hex Lord Malacrass stole his essence, placing it into one of the Amani's most talented shamans. He also appears in Zul'Aman where his spirit is chained by Zul'jin. His is freed when the chieftain troll is killed. In Year 27, Akil'zon appears again in Zul'Aman where his spirit is chained by Daakara. He is freed when Daakara is killed.

Jan’alai

Jan’alai is the dragonhawk loa, honoured by both the Amani and Zandalari.

Alike Akil’zon, Malacrass stole his essence, imbuing it into one of the Amani's deadliest rogues. His spirit is chained by Zul'jin and similarly is freed when the chieftain troll is killed. He again is also chained in Zul’Aman and freed when Draakara is killed.

Nalorakk

Nalorakk is the bear loa worshipped by the Amani and Zandalari.

He, alongside Akil’zon and Jan’alai, also has his essence stolen and chained to Zul’jin as well as in Zul’Aman and is freed alike the former two loas.

The Amani decorate their Amani Battle Bears with magic amulets and ceremonial masks to honour him.

Rhunok

Rhunok is known as the Bear of the North, loa of arctic bears and is worshipped by the Drakkari.

In Year 27, his prophet first tried to absorb the loa's power but absorbed too much and subsequently killed himself. Priests of Rhunok quickly resurrected the prophet and he returned to making attemps to steal the loa’s power. To stop his prophet and end his suffering, Rhunok asked an adventurer to revive him and then slay him. It is said he will one day return as his spirit lives forever.

Bethekk

Bethekk is a panther loa recognised by the Gurubashi and the Zandalari,

She was held in Zul'Gurub against her will when the Hakkari were attempting to resurrect Hakkar in Year 25.

She is represented on Azeroth through a champion of her choosing. High Priestess Kilnara holds this position. Kilnara is the sister of the previous champion, High Priestess Arlokk, who was killed a few years ago, meaning Bethekk was forced to choose another and chose her sister.

Kimbul

Also known as “Eraka no Kimbul”, is a tiger loa worshipped by the Farraki and Zandalari.

Centuries ago, Kimbul's temple in Vol'dun was attacked by a naga army led by Summoner Mepjila. Unfortunately, Kimbul arrived too late to save his followers from death. He hunted the remaining naga down to the last and none escaped, however as he killed the naga leader she cast a spell that cursed the souls of Kimbul's followers into unending torment. Until their souls were freed, Kimbul could not accept new followers. He took a powerful artifact known as the Ring of Tides as his trophy from the battle with Mepjila.

In Year 30, Kimbul was summoned by the Sandfury tribe at Zul'Farrak so they could sacrifice their prisoners - Aramar Thorne, Makasa Flintwill, Taryndrella, Hackle, and Murky - to him. Kimbul showed respect to Makasa and Hackle for they were predators and not prey, and he was the Prey's Doom. Kimbul told them that they had nothing to fear from him and vanished.

In Year 33, Kimbul can be found at the Temple of Kimbul in Vol'dun. The naga attacked Kimbul's territory looking for the Ring of Tides. Seeking his help against the naga threat, the tortollan Tortaka tribe spoke to Kimbul at his temple. Kimbul tasked an adventurer with entering the Shadowlands where his cursed followers continued to fight for eternity and slaying Mepjila's spirit to break her spell. With his followers at peace, Kimbul moved to protect the Tortaka tribe from the naga with the adventurer as his avatar. Afterward he accepted the Tortaka as his followers. Kimbul also participated in the defence of Zuldazar when Zul and his forces sought to destroy the Great Seal.

Halazzi

Halazzi is a lynx loa honoured by the Amani and Zandalari.

He suffered the same incidences in Zul’Drak.

Har'koa

Har’koa is a snow leopard loa honoured by the Drakkari and the Zandalari. Her mate is Loque'nahak.

After the Drakkari turned on their gods in Year 27, Har'koa was the last of the gods to be subdued and the trolls used her power in order to curse her children. Witch Doctor Khufu is able to contact other gods, adventurers are sent to aid Har'koa. After freeing her children Har'koa sends adventurers to help other loa: Rhunok, Quetz'lun, and Akali. She is saddened that she couldn't aid other loa such as Mam'toth.

While able to aid the other loa, Akali is ultimately slain by his prophet, which causes Har'koa and Witch Doctor Khufu to work together. Har'koa helps adventurers in fighting against the prophet to ensure his death.She sends adventurers to meet with Tol'mar, who directs them to destroy the Gundrak leadership.

Shirvallah

Shirvallah is a tiger loa worshipped by the Darkspear, Gurubashi and Zandalari.

Their last champion was High Priest Thekal. Thekal had another high priest, who wielded The Warmace of Shirvallah. Long ago, it was lost to the sea with the high priest who wielded it.

Shirvallah was also held in Zul'Gurub against their will alongside the previously mentioned loa.

By the time of the war against the Iron Horde in Year 31, troll druids had created a way for all druids to take on a half-tiger form like those of Shirvallah's champions, called the Claws of Shirvallah.

Gonk

Gonk is the loa of raptors honoured by the Darkspear and Zandalari. Gonk's high priest is Wardruid Loti. He is the loa of shapes and master of the hunt. The followers of Pa'ku and Gonk do not get along.

Gonk taught the Darkspear tribe how to contact the loa in a different way, allowing them to serve all the nature spirits at the same time instead of only one at a time. The other loa, such as Shirvallah, were against this but Gonk forced their hands in order to defeat Zalazane, who had trapped several loa inside the Emerald Dream. Through this, the Darkspear became druids, although the other loa are not happy about it and want the trolls to continue worshipping them one at a time.

Gonk did not just speak to the Zandalari. For his Raptari, his followers, Gonk is not just a fragment or piece of him, but physically there, a real voice they can listen to in person.

In Year 33, he aided Loti and Hexlord Raal against the Crimson Cultist within of Zanchul, the Speaker of the Horde became imbued with the powers of Gonk and Pa'ku. The Speaker was informed that they had to choose between the loa. Those who chose Gonk went out to find him Garden of the Loa, where in exchange for them raising a shrine for him he accepted them into his pack.

When the Atal'zul began their uprising against Rastakhan, Loti hurried to save Gonk to find Gonk had already slain the attackers who sought to kill him and drain his power. Gonk was among the army that King Rastakhan gathered to kill Zul. He was tasked to lead his followers to the Temple of the Prophet. Following the death of Rezan, Gonk ordered for a full retreat from Atal'Dazar. Noting that only Rezan's power could keep Bwonsamdi from claiming King Rastakhan, who was sorely wounded and ageing fast due to Rezan's death, Gonk revealed that he would offer Rastakhan his own power if not for the fact that it was not Gonk's domain to challenge the loa of death.

Gonk participated in the defense of Zuldazar when Zul and his forces sought to destroy the Great Seal.

During the assault on Zuldazar Gonk discovered that the void elves sought to corrupt his children with their dark magics.

Pa’ku

Pa’ku is a pterrordax loa worshipped by the Zandalari. Pa'ku is the master of the Zandalari's navy and her high priest is Raal. The followers of Pa'ku and Gonk do not get along.

In Year 33, Loti and Raal against the Crimson Cultist within Zanchul, the Speaker of the Horde became imbued with the powers of Gonk and Pa'ku. Following the death of Dregada, the Speaker was informed that they had to choose between the two loa. Those who chose Pa'ku were delivered to the loa by Raal by flying on the back of Ata the Winglord. After the Speaker earned Pa'ku's admiration, the loa instructed them to raise a statue to him so that all the trolls of the land knew they had bargained.[5]

When Zul betrayed Rastakhan and stabbed him, Pa'ku took the king away to Zeb'ahari.

Pa'ku participated in the defence of Zuldazar when Zul and his forces sought to destroy the Great Seal.

Rezan

Rezan is was a devilsaur known as the “Loa of Kings” worshipped by the Zandalari.

Rezan is first encountered in Year 33 when his follower, King Rastakhan, was near death after being betrayed by Zul. Rastakhan was unable to be revived because his soul was in the grip of Bwonsamdi, loa of death. The Zandalari appealed to Rezan to confront Bwonsamdi and claim back Rastakhan's soul. He was successful.

At Rezan's temple, Zul's followers sought to drain Rezan of his power in the same way the Drakkari once did to their loa. Rastakhan and an adventurer killed Vilnak'dor, the troll performing the ritual, and once he was freed Rezan unleashed his fury upon the Atal'zul and their Kao-Tien allies.

Rezan was among the army that Rastakhan gathered and led the charge into Atal'Dazar atop Mount Mugamba. During the confrontation with Zul, Rezan was slain. Without his power keeping Bwonsamdi at bay, Rastakhan began aging fast. Rezan's essence was used by Zul to revive Dazar, first king of the Zandalari.

Torcali

Torcali is a direhorn loa revered by the Zandalari trolls. She is a loa of the harvest.

Shadra

Also known as “Elortha no Shadra”, Shadra is the spider loa honoured by the Witherbark, Gurubashi, Farrak and Zandalari.

The Witherbark one time collected her most potent venom from her. The Forsaken, wanting her venom, wished to summon her and to do so summon her, it was required to know her true name (Elortha no Shadra). After Shadra was summoned and killed, her venom was sent to the Undercity.

Shadra was also held in Zul'Gurub against her will during the time when the Hakkari were attempting to resurrect Hakkar the Soulflayer in Year 25.

At Jintha'alor after the Cataclysm in Year 28, the Vilebranch tribe drank Shadra's blood and performed mass sacrifices for her. The Wildhammer wanted to kill her in advance before she could be directed to them, while the Forsaken once more wanted Shadra's venom for their apothecaries. At Shadra'Alor, she was once more summoned and killed.

In Year 30, Shadra communicated with Vol'jin through visions.

Shadra, alike Kimbul, was summoned by the Sandfury tribe at Zul'Farrak so they could sacrifice their prisoners - Aramar Thorne, Makasa Flintwill, Taryndrella, Hackle, and Murky- to her. But Taryndrella, dryad daughter of Cenarius, stopped her from doing so. Shadra backed away,

In Year 33, her own high priestess Yazma trapped Shadra in the Shrine of Shadra in Zuldazar. Yazma thus consumed Shadra's might in the name of Zul, killing Shadra in the process, and transforming herself into a spider-like troll. Yazma told Shadra to "die forever", suggesting that she is deceased for good.

Kith'ix

Kith’ix was a C'Thraxxi generals and worshipped as a loa by Zan’do’s followers.

Trying to find the Discs of Norgannon keeper Loken unearthed the tombs of Kith'ix and his fellow C'Thraxxi general Zakajz and sent them to slay Tyr and reclaim the discs. Kith'ix and Zakazj overtook Tyr and his allies in the lands that would become the Tirisfal Glades. Tyr chose to hold off the C'Thraxxi alone so his companions could escape. In the end, Tyr sacrificed all of his remaining power and life force in a blinding explosion of arcane energy that killed Zakajz and nearly killed Kith'ix. Kith'ix survived and blindly fled southwest. The ancient loa inhabiting the area buried Kith'ix beneath the earth so that no other creature would disturb it.

Eventually the sentient dagger Xal'atath led the troll Zan'do and his followers to the forbidden mound, where they discovered that it was not rock but the hide of some monstrous creature. Believing it to be an undiscovered loa they performed rituals—offering blood sacrifices and plunging Xal'atath into its hide—to awaken him. Kith'ix brutally slaughtered the trolls.

Kith'ix reached out with his mind and found the aqir, having hidden deep underground since the fall of the Black Empire. The C'Thrax rallied the insectoid swarms to reclaim the surface of Azeroth once more. As both Kith'ix and the aqir expanded their power, they constructed a vast subterranean empire known as Azj'Aqir. The Zandalari rallied the tribes against this new foe and summoned the loa to fight by their side, tearing through the aqiri ranks and even wounding Kith'ix. The aqir were forced to retreat and Kith'ix, gravely wounded by the loa, fled to the northeast with a contingent of its closest aqiri followers.

The Amani tracked the C'Thrax's trail far to the northeastern woodlands. In a final savage battle, the entire tribe flung itself in a suicidal attack against Kith'ix and its remaining insectoid minions. Only a tiny fraction of the troll army survived. Even so, the C'Thrax succumbed to its tireless hunters.

On the site where they had killed Kith'ix, the trolls established a new settlement. It would one day grow into a sprawling temple city known as Zul'Aman.

Akunda

Akunda is thunder lizard loa worshipped by the Zandalari. He represents storms and new beginnings.

Akunda was poisoned by his follower Akunda the Exalted, who took his memories from him. Using Akunda's power, Akunda the Exalted wiped the trolls at the temple of all of their memories. After Meijani and an adventurer from the Horde discovered this, they used Akunda's powers of the storm to slay Akunda the Exalted. Akunda restored the memories of his followers. Akunda offered his gift to the adventurer, allowing them to call upon the Boon of Akunda whenever they commune at an Altar of Akunda.

Akunda later participated in the defence of Zuldazar when Zul and his forces sought to destroy the Great Seal.

Hakkar

Hakkar, also known by his title “The Soulflayer”, is a blood loa honoured by the Gurucashi and Vilebranch. He is known to be destructive and malevolent.

A troll attempted to summon Hakkar on Zandalar many millennia ago. While he was stopped, it led to the breakout of a plague of corrupted blood which tore through the Zandalari Empire killing thousands of trolls.

Around Year -1,500, the Gurubashi trolls sought aid from ancient, mystical forces to aid them in their terro and famine. Hakkar heard the trolls' call and decided to aid them. Hakkar gave his secrets of blood to the Gurubashi and helped them extend their civilization across most of Stranglethorn Vale. Though he brought them great power, Hakkar wanted more and more for his efforts.[4] He filled his adherents with murderous rage and reveled in their dark emotions and fed off the blood they spilled. The Gurubashi realized what kind of creature they had allied with and turned against him. The strongest tribes rose up against Hakkar and his loyal priests known as the Atal'ai.

As Zul'Gurub continued to expand, the Zandalari's pleased surprise turned to disquiet. When they discovered the nature of Hakkar, they were horrified. The jungle trolls banded together with the Zandalari and rose up in open revolt. The budding empire was shattered by the magic unleashed between the angry god and his rebel children. The trolls succeeded in destroying Hakkar's avatar and banishing him from the world. Even his Atal'ai priests were eventually driven from the capital of Zul'Gurub. After his defeat, the various troll tribes of the jungle began battling each other and the Darkspear tribe left the continent.

The exiled priests fled far to the north, into the Swamp of Sorrows. There they erected the temple to Hakkar. The great dragon Aspect, Ysera, learned of the Atal'ai's plans and smashed the temple beneath the marshes.

Around Year -18-19, some of the Gurubashi would continue to use Hakkar's blood magic, especially in their war against the humans of Stormwind. Green dragons that had been left by Ysera to guard the Temple of Atal'Hakkar had succumbed to another force, the Emerald Nightmare. The descendants of the Atal'ai returne to find that its guardians were disoriented and vulnerable. Both the Nightmare and the trolls dragged the dragons down into the depths of madness and corruption. The Atal'ai began their gruesome rituals to summon Hakkar into the world. Jammal'an believed the summoning of Hakkar will bring the Atal'ai immortality. A green dragon named Itharius called for help from the Cenarion Circle, who in turn sent an Alliance force to cleanse the temple and put an end to the Atal'ai's efforts.

In Year 25, Yeh'kinya tricked adventurers into taking an Ancient Egg from Jintha'Alor and infusing it with the essence of the defeated Avatar of Hakkar into a Filled Egg of Hakkar. Prospector Ironboot revealed that Yeh'kinya wasn't about to keep the world safe, but to bring the god Hakkar back. However, it was too late as Hakkar had already reborn in Zul'Gurub. The Atal'ai priests discovered that Hakkar's physical form could only be summoned within the ancient capital of the Gurubashi Empire, Zul'Gurub. In order to quell the blood god, the trolls of the land banded together and sent a contingent of High Priests into the ancient city. Each priest was a powerful champion of the Primal Gods but despite their best efforts, they fell under the sway of Hakkar. The Zandalari knew that they did not have the resources to scour the Atal'ai and their leader, Jin'do the Hexxer, from Zul'Gurub. They sent word through the Darkspear tribe. A large Horde strike force was sent to Zul'Gurub in turn. The Horde charged into the temple city, and though they the killed the priests and Jin'do, they were too late to stop Hakkar's summoning. Manifesting as a force of death and insanity, Hakkar poisoned the blood of the Horde's champions but he was unaware of the poison entering his veins as he fed on them and was consumed by his own magic.

The still burning kernel of Hakkar's power, was brought to Molthor and the heart was banished.

In Year 28, the Atal'ai in the Sanctum of the Fallen God have recovered a significant portion of his skeleton and seek to restore Hakkar back to life. The Atal'ai transported most of the blood they produced to Zul'Gurub. Meanwhile, Vilebranch tribe of the Hinterlands left Hakkar in favour of Shadra. Jin'do recovered the body of two high priests, High Priest Venoxis and High Priestess Jeklik, and then enlisted the aid of Zanzil the Outcast to resurrect them to serve Hakkar. Though adventurers working for the Zandalari trolls Maywiki and Chabal only succeeded in destroying Jeklik's body. Some time later, the Zandalari trolls under Zul united most of the tribes and aided in restoring Zul'Gurub to its former glory for the purpose of rebuilding the old troll empire. They hoped to use Hakkar in order to wage war on the other races of Azeroth. Adventurers in Zul'Gurub saw Jin'do, now going by name "the Godbreaker," holding Hakkar in submission and stripping out his power to infuse into himself. Upon destroying the spiritual chains holding the Soulflayer in place, Hakkar turns on Jin'do, and utterly destroys him, leaving only the corpse of Jin'do the Broken. He then vanishes, promising to return.

Hethiss

Hethiss is snake loa worshipped by the Gurubashi and Zandalari.

Like the other Gurubashi loa, Hethiss was held in Zul'Gurub against his will during the time when the Hakkari were attempting to resurrect Hakkar the Soulflayer in Year 25.

Jani

Jani is the saurid loa worshipped by the Zandalari. He is known as Patron of Scavengers, the Lord of Thieves, the God of Garbage, Master of Minions, the Keeper of Secrets and the loa of discarded things. Jani looks out for people such as the orphans and the poor and appears to be very protective of his children, as well as being quite the trickster, polymorphing those that hurt his children to humble them.

In Year 33, while killing some thieving saurid harassing a merchant, Jani appears as "The Big One" and attacks an adventurer. When they go to investigate a pile they are captured in the Big One's jaws, who reveals himself to be Jani. Jani is furious that the adventurer would kill his children and to teach them a lesson, he changes them into a saurid and forces them to go bite the one who originally sent them, Nokano.

Quetz’lun

Quetz'lun is the loa of wind serpents worshipped by the Drakkari.

In Year 27, she was betrayed by her prophet and slain to drain her power. Right before her physical manifestation was destroyed, Quetz'lun created her own private underworld nightmare in which she dragged all her former worshippers and high priests into.

Her spirit will assist players in killing her prophet. After a ritual, she is drawn into the material world where she will be able to reclaim her power from the prophet. Once done, she brings him into her underworld domain to kill him over and over again.

Sethraliss

Sethraliss was a snake loa worshipped by both Zandalari and Sethrak. She had power over lightening.

During the Aqir and Troll War in Year -16,000 years ago, Mythrax the Unraveler slaughtered troll and sethrak.. Sethraliss sacrificed herself to save them, but though she struck Mythrax down Mythrax was still able to destroy the disc at the heart of Atul'Aman. Sethraliss' devoted followers transported her remains and built a temple around them while they awaited her rebirth. Sulthis, Vorrik, and Korthek worked together to seal Mythrax within the great pyramid.[4]

Years later, Korthek grew power hungry and sought to free Mythrax to conquer Zuldazar. He gathered like-minded sethrak and declared himself emperor. Other sethrak who were still loyal to Sethraliss were forced into hiding. Vorrik returned to his personal sanctum years later, he could still feel the ancient power of Sethraliss there, which he took as a sign that his loa endured.

In Year 33, General Jakra'zet of the Zanchuli Council allied with Korthek, and though Korthek was slain Jakra'zet successfully stole the keys to Atul'Aman and completed the ritual to revive Mythrax by sacrificing himself. The sethrak needed Sethraliss but she was yet to be reborn. The adventurer sent by Vorrik to investigate found a group of Zandalari who wanted to corrupt her into a dark loa that would lay waste to Vol'dun. The trolls were defeated and Sethraliss was rejuvenated.

Sseratus

Sseratus is the the loa of serpents and snakes revered by the Drakkari.

Slad'ran was the high prophet of Sseratus. He sacrificed her hoping that it might help them save their home. He swore the Scourge would suffer for the sacrifices the Drakkari had been forced to commit.

Tharon’ja

Tharon'ja is the wind serpent loa honoured by the Drakkari. He is trusted guardian of Drak'Tharon Keep and the patron of those who defended the borders of Zul'Drak.

In Year 27, his own followers turned on him because to the threat of the Scourge and lies of the Lich King. His own Prophet killed him in Drak'Tharon Keep and claimed his power, driving the loa into the spirit world.[2]

Zur'chaka the Bonecrafter summoned Tharon'ja's spirit in order to communicate with him at the Za'Tual boneyard in Year 30.

Dambala

Dambala is a troll loa honoured by the Zandalari.

He is only mentioned in Shadow Hunter Ty'jin's ability Blessing of Dambala.

Grimath

Grimath is an old Zandalari loa spirit honoured by them.

He is known to have been contacted by Zandalari trolls to aid them in tracking a direhorn.

Lukou

Lukou is a troll loa honoured by the Darkspear and Zandalari.

She is mentioned in Shadow Hunter Ty'jin's ability called Blessing of Lukou.

In the RPG, she’s noted as the loa of healing and respite, and grants the ability to heal allies. Her power has no effect against undead in the area - she grants the capacity to heal, but she has no power over the restless dead.

Samedi

Samedi is the loa of the grave, honoured by the Darkspear.

Shadow Hunter Kajassa asked adventurers in Nagrand to use the Samedi Fetish to help shadow hunter souls move on and send them to Samedi.

In the RPG, it is mentioned that he is the loa of cemeteries and the restful sleep of the dead. In Samedi's eyes, the undead are abominations that should be destroyed.

Zanza

Also known as Zanza the Restless, Zanza is a loa of the Zandalar tribe found near the entrance to the Cache of Madness in Zul'Gurub. He is also honoured by them.

He reveals that he created the magic used in Elven Librams which were originally his Savage Guard. They since stole Zanza's magic teachings and used them against the trolls.

Akali

Akali was the rhino loa of rhinos worshipped by the Drakkari.

In Year 27, he was held in chains by his worshippers outside the gates of Gundrak. Adventurers freed Akali who is quick to kill his subduers. However, the Prophet of Akali notices and drinks of the loa's blood, claiming some of his power. Infused by power of the loa, the prophet swiftly kills Akali.

Bwonsamdi

Bwonsamdi is the loa of death worshipped by the Darkspear and the Zandalari. Bwonsamdi's temple is the Necropolis. The spirits of all trolls on Zandalar go to him upon death and he brings the spirits of any who worship him into his realm, the Other Side. He grows more powerful the more souls are in his care.

Before they were driven away from the Echo Isles by Zalazane and his hexed trolls, the Darkspear tribe once worshipped the spirit. During the liberation of the Echo Isles in Year 27, Vol'jin tried to recruit Bwonsamdi to his side for the battle against Zalazane. After Vol'jin and his fellow Horde warriors proved themselves worthy, Bwonsamdi agreed to help them against Zalazane. With the battle won Bwonsamdi took his leave.

In Year 30, Vol'jin found that his shadow hunter powers were being withheld by the loa. Bwonsamdi contacted Vol'jin and told him that his injuries, self doubt, and conflicting loyalty toward the Horde has made the loa forsake him. Bwonsamdi showed him various visions. The Death Loa wished Vol'jin would use his influence to create as much strife and war as possible, for that would mean more souls would be sent to the other side on his behalf. Vol'jin refused. Vol'jin eventually proved his conviction and reaffirmed his identity, regaining both Bwonsamdi's respect and his powers. Bwonsamdi received the souls Vol'jin sent from the battles between the Shado-Pan and the Thunder King's forces.. At the end of the war, Vol'jin's companion Tyrathan Khort was near death. Vol'jin pleaded with Bwonsamdi to spare Tyrathan. The loa complied, knowing he would have his soul now or later, it did not matter.

In Year 33, King Rastakhan was betrayed by Zul and near death, Bwonsamdi claimed his soul and at first refused to give it back because the loa of kings Rezan had been keeping Rastakhan from him for too long. Rezan threatened Bwonsamdi into complying. When Rezan was slain by Zul, Rastakhan began to age quickly.

In Nazmir, the Zandalari forces sought the aid of the local loa to battle the blood trolls. Bwonsamdi's worshipper Hanzabu brought a Horde adventurer to the Necropolis to meet with him. After tasking the adventurer with cleansing his temple of the spirits who had abandoned Bwonsamdi for G'huun, Bwonsamdi agreed to pledge his powers to the fight against the blood trolls in exchange for one million souls. The ritual to finalize their contract was interrupted by Grand Ma'da Ateena, leader of the blood trolls, but she was successfully fought off.

Talanji and the tortollans called on Bwonsamdi to communicate with Torga's spirit. Bwonsamdi would only comply with a deal, the soul of another loa in exchange for communing with Torga, but Talanji refused. Instead, the souls of the blood trolls that had eaten Torga's flesh were used in exchange for communing with Torga.

Bwonsamdi participated in the final charge against the blood trolls led by Talanji. He prevented the adventurer from dying because they still had a debt to pay him.

Rastakhan made a deal with Bwonsamdi: If Bwonsamdi gave him the power to take back his empire, then Rastakhan would elevate Bwonsamdi above all other loa. Bwonsamdi accepted the deal on one condition: that the king's bloodline would be devoted to Bwonsamdi. Later, as Dazar'alor came under attack from Zul and Mythrax, Bwonsamdi empowered Rastakhan to kill Zul.

After the Urn of Vol'jin is delivered to Atal'Dazar. Bwonsamdi appears saying to bring the urn to his necropolis instead, as he hasn't seen Vol'jin in quite some time. There Bwonsamdi discovers that Vol'jin spirit isn't in the urn.

Seeking to learn where Vol'jin's spirit had gone missing, Bwonsamdi tasked the adventurer and Talanji with performing a seance with the aid of some of Vol'jin's friends from life, Gadrin and Rokhan. They succeeded in contacting him deep within the Shadowlands, and he tasked them with slaying G'huun as justice for the sons and daughters of the loa and the heart of Zandalar.

Following the deaths of the Horde's Champion of the Light and Jadefire Masters during the Battle of Dazar'alor, King Rastakhan urged Bwonsamdi to aid his forces. Bwonsamdi created a blood moon and raised the dead to fend off the Alliance. Bwonsamdi also raised Grong into a Revenant and turned him against the Alliance after Horde adventurers slew the giant gorilla. When the Alliance reached King Rastakhan. Rastakhan was still ultimately killed. As Talanji held her dying father, Rastakhan's pact with Bwonsamdi was transferred to her as he took his final breath. Bwonsamdi himself then appeared before Talanji, who demanded to know what he had done to her, unaware of the pact her father made that bound his bloodline to the loa of graves. In response, Bwonsamdi merely revealed that her father never told her about their bargain.

Vol'jin's spirit, Talanji, and Baine Bloodhoof returned to the Necropolis to reveal that Vol'jin had been calling for him. They confronted Bwonsamdi to ask him if he was the one who had told him to make Sylvanas the Warchief, which Bwonsamdi denied. Bwonsamdi agreed to help them find out who had really told Vol'jin to put Sylvanas in charge.

Bwonsamdi opened a Death Gate to one of his rivals in the ownership of souls: the Lich King. Like Bwonsamdi, the Lich King told Vol'jin that he was not responsible and that Sylvanas was upsetting the balance of life and death.Realizing that Vol'jin's spirit was getting help from some other power, Bwonsamdi also sent them to speak to the Val'kyr Eyir Eyir did not allow Talanji to enter her hall as she was a priestess of the death loa. Eyir informed the group that Vol'jin had been "touched by the hand of valor". Back at the Necropolis, Bwonsamdi mused that while Eyir and the Lich King were not his only rivals they were the ones he thought most likely to be behind it. He urged Vol'jin to search not the living world but the Shadowlands for his answers.

G’huun

G’huun was an Old God inadvertently created by the Pantheon during their experiments on the other imprisoned Old Gods, as the titans tried to find a solution to the problem that they posed. He was worshipped as a loa by the blood trolls and they consider themselves to be his children.

In Year 33, his prison began to weaken and G'huun's corruption begun spreading across the land. He also started wresting control over the souls of the dead from Bwonsamdi. G'huun corrupted Hir'eek and turned him into his servant. Adventurers worked alongside Jo'chunga and struck Hir'eek down in order to weaken G'huun's forces.

With the seal of Atul'Aman destroyed by Mythrax, and the seal of Nazwatha destroyed by the Cataclysm, Zul and his allies, General Jakra'zet and Yazma, worked to free the Blood God by undoing the last remaining seal, in Zuldazar. The plan was to have G'huun replace the loa as the trolls' new god. The seal was ultimately destroyed by Mythrax during the invasion of Dazar'alor. A group of adventurers entered Uldir and slew G'huun before he could break free.

Hir’eek

Hir’eek was a bat loa honoured by Blood trolls, Darkspear, the Gurubashi and the Zandalari. He is known as the Lord of the Midnight Sky.

Like the other loa of the Gurubashi tribe, Hir'eek was held in Zul'Gurub against his will during the time when the Hakkari were attempting to resurrect Hakkar in Year 25.

After the Cataclysm in Year 28, adventurers in the Cape of Stranglethorn were guided by the spirit of Hir'eek to spy on Zanzil the Outcast's meeting with the Shade of the Hexxer.

In Year 30, before entering the Ancient Passage just prior to his assassination attempt, Vol'jin noticed a flock of bats flying out of the cave. He thought of Hir'eek and wondered if it was a warning.

In Year 33, was corrupted by G'huun and the blood trolls,[7] and subsequently slain by an adventurer with the aid of Jo'chunga and his poison. His death was mourned by the Zandalari. His spirit presumably returned to the Emerald Dream.

Mam’toth

Mam’toth was the loa of mammoths homoured by the Drakkari. When he learnt of his worshippers' plans to steal his power, he destroyed himself, his temple and all worshippers present, creating in Mam'toth Crater.

Moorabi was the high prophet of Mam'tothdrank of the loa's blood and gained some of his power hoping to defend Zul'Drak.

Mueh'zala

Also known as Ueetay no Mueh'zala, is the loa of death honoured by the Farraki. He is known also as the Father of Sleep, the Son of Time and the Night's Friend.

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes

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When 30 Rock drew its final breath in 2013, yards of column inches were devoted – deservedly so – to praising the work of creator Tina Fey. Article upon article applauded the characters, cast, performances and seven seasons of energetic, inventive, satirical comedy.

More than anything else though, 30 Rock was always about the gags. It was fruitcake-dense with jokes, regularly fitting in more quotable laughs before its opening credits than many shows manage in a full half-hour. As it returns for a one-off reunion special, join us in celebrating the many, many running gags of its seven-season history, from the fake movies, to the terrible yet incredibly catchy songs, Frank’s hats, and those godawful TGS sketches…

The fake movies

The presence of Tracy Jordan (a bonafide Martin Lawrence meets the Wayans Brothers-style movie star) in the TGS cast opened up the world of film parody to 30 Rock.

Admittedly Jenna Maloney also enjoyed a movie career of sorts, but while she was being offered the part of “any blonde actress” in torture porn flicks by the producers who watched and rented Saw, Tracy was turning down the lead in Garfield 3: Feline Groovy to pursue his serious acting career. The latter climaxed with the release of spot-on Precious parody Hard To Watch (Based on the novel Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate), for which Tracy received the O in his EGOT plan. Sheer class.

Over the years though, who couldn’t not smile at Tracy’s blaxpoitation-filled back catalogue, from the timeless romance of A Blaffair to Rememblack, to Sherlock Homie, Who Dat Ninja?, The Chunks 2: A Very Chunky Christmas, and last but by no means least, Honky Grandma Be Trippin’. The man is a chameleon (in that he’s always a lizard).

Two of Jenna’s TGS projects however, bring back the fondest memories of 30 Rock’s stinging movie satire: small-town legal drama The Rural Juror (based on a Kevin Grisham novel), and her GE-produced life rights-avoiding Janis Joplin biopic, Sing Them Blues White Girl: The Jackie Jormp Jomp Story.

The TGS sketches

The quality of TGS’ output was never under question in 30 Rock; the sketch show was unremittingly bad (when the absence of their star meant a ‘Best of TGS’ series had to be run in lieu of live shows, Legal objected to their use of the word ‘Best’, and when a review dubbed it the worst comedy ever made, Liz was thrilled they’d defined it as a comedy). Liz Lemon’s opus was a fluorescent collection of fart gags, dodgy caricatures, Jenna’s songs, and misjudged celebrity impressions.

Beginning life as, in Kenneth’s words, “a real fun ladies comedy show for ladies”, TGS was Saturday Night Live’s idiot brother, the unsophisticated thorn in NBC’s side, under constant threat of controversy and cancellation. Forced to synergise backward overflow, advertise parent company products and promote GE interests, 30 Rock’s show-within-a-show satirised both the TV industry and tired trends in comedy (the always hilarious combination of a fat woman who’s sexually confident! Old ladies are crazy! Farts!).

Lemon may have seduced pilot Carol (Matt Damon) with her Fart Doctor skits, but TGS failed to win many hearts. With sketches like Pam the Overly Confident Morbidly Obese Woman, Ching-Chong Man Who Loves to Play Ping-Pong, Fat Hillary Clinton, Bear vs. Killer Robots, Me Want Food, and Gaybraham Lincoln, why it wasn’t more successful is a mystery.

Astronaut Mike Dexter

Lemon may have ended up with James Marsden’s Criss Chros, but fictional boyfriend Astronaut Mike Dexter will always hold a special place in her heart. Handsomer than Dr Drew, less British than Wesley Snipes, less living-in-Cleveland than Floyd, and a million times better than Dennis Duffy, Astronaut Mike Dexter had it all… except of course, a corporeal self.

The fake songs

Over the years, Jenna Maroney’s singing career has vomited up some truly dreadful creations, and topping the list has to be Muffin Top (a big hit in the king-making music markets of Israel and Belgium). Seguing from its pop insanity chorus “My muffin top is all that, wholegrain, low-fat” into a Madonna-style spoken-word rap “I’m an independent lady, so please don’t try to play me. I run a tidy bakery. The boys all want my cake for free”, the song is a battery assault on the senses.

But is it worse than Jenna’s summer dance jam, Balls, which earned her the princely sum of $50 in royalties? Or her computer generated, generic benefit song in aid of an unspecific natural disaster, which urged viewers to donate to “help the people the thing that happened, happened to”? How about the Jackie Jormp Jomp performance she gave of Chunk Of My Lung, written by Jack five minutes before the show, containing the classic line “You know you’ve bought it if life makes you sweet food”? Or Fart So Loud, the un-Weird Al-able song she and Tracy wrote after he parodied the theme to Avery Jessup TV movie Kidnapped? Such riches…

It’s not only Jenna who’s provided 30 Rock’s musical intervals of course. Season three finale Kidney Now! welcomed an eclectic collection of stars including Sheryl Crow, Mary J Blige, Elvis Costello, Moby, two of the Beastie Boys, Wyclef Jean, and Cyndi Lauper to perform a We Are The World-style anthem at the Milton Green benefit gig. Angie Jordan famously released a fifteen-second single My Single Is Dropping, to ride on the wave of her reality-show fame, Frank and Pete’s Sound Mound came up with unforgettable rock anthem Weekend Woman, and in the very same episode, even Tina Fey got in on the action by providing excellent Joni Mitchell parody, Paints and Brushes.

The legacy award though, as in the 30 Rock fake song that will continue to bring joy to the hearts of fans decades from now, has to go to one song, and one song only: Tracy Jordan’s Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.

Frank’s hat slogans

Off-set, stand-up Judah Friedlander favours his ‘World Champion’ trucker hat, the one he claims to have been awarded as the winner of the World Championships of pretty much all sports, martial arts, and that time he karate kicked Chuck Norris’ beard off his face and forced him to legally change his name to Charles.

On-set as Frank Rossitano though, Friedlander wears a series of self-designed trucker hats, each bearing a different gnomic slogan. Often incongruous, sometimes suggestive, and always odd, Frank’s hat slogans are part of the bricks and mortar of 30 Rock. In terms of favourites, we’re quite fond of ‘Alabama Legsweep’, or the laconic enigma of ‘And’, though ‘Shark Cop’, ‘Half Centaur’ and ‘Space Gravy’ also caught our eye over the seasons.

Jenna’s Mickey Rourke sex stories

Like Dot Com’s intellectualism, this running gag may have been introduced late into proceedings, but Jenna’s torrid sexual history with putty-faced beefcake Mickey Rourke gave J-Mo some of her best lines. Jenna’s allusions to Rourke’s sexually deviant and murderous attempts on her life paint a fascinating picture for 30 Rock fans. Here are some of the finest:

“Your new vibe is a double-edged sword, much like the kind Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with”, “Nice try Hazel, but you made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran. You didn’t kill me when you had the chance.”, “I’m going to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.” “Next time you’ll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign.” “You know what they say, if you can’t stand the heat, get off Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.” Wise words.

Kenneth the immortal page

To this day Kenneth Ellen Parcell remains something of an enigma to 30 Rock viewers. In later seasons, Jack McBrayer’s character went from being a simple country rube from Stone Mountain, Georgia to the flesh vessel for a mysterious immortal with no reflection, no age, and links to a world beyond our own.

Plenty of reference has been made to Kenneth’s ageless and supernatural state over the years, including the suggestion that not only is he unable to die, but he’s also an angel, sent to oversee the transition of souls from one world to the next.

The fake TV shows

It’s either a credit to the 30 Rock team or a condemnation of our times that Jack Donaghy’s hit reality viewer vote show, MILF Island, no longer feels like a parody. In generations to come, time will no doubt erode the boundaries between fact and fiction, and we 30 Rock fans will be telling our kids about the time we watched Deborah beat her competitors and claim MILF victory in the same breath as educating them about those people who ate kangaroo anuses for public approval.

MILF Island stands head and shoulders above the rest of 30 Rock’s fake TV shows (including TGS itself, lest we not forget), but that doesn’t mean that Gold Case, Los Amantes Clandestinos, Black Frasier, Homonym, or the inimitable Bitch Hunter deserve any less respect. Our fallen brothers, we salute you.

We could go on indefinitely listing the recurring jokes that made 30 Rock great, from Liz’s sandwich lust and desire to go to there, to Jack’s gloriously thatched head of hair and Republican conspiracies. As the show prepares to return, which of the above will live again?

30 Rock: A One-Time Special lands on NBC on Thursday July 16th at 8pm in the US.

The post 30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so my thought is that like maybe he's been sorting out a Cass rage because he's actually going to this festival and she's fuming about it for obvious reasons but then he comes back and Janis is thinking that Harry might show up cos had that convo with Grace so she's being weird and he's like ?] Janis: [solid plan, awks all 'round, just tryna play off you've been busy whilst he's been arguing like oh hi, definitely didn't hear any of that 'alright?'] Jimmy: [just going for a 🚬 immediately because he's obvs not alright] Janis: fair Janis: they could take a few tips, like Jimmy: gutted they don't know where I live then Jimmy: for that and loads of other reasons, like Janis: naturally Janis: such good craic, who wouldn't want them popping over for a cuppa Jimmy: hot water and 🍋 is nearer to the order they'd put in Janis: do you charge for that at CG? Janis: probably a couple of euro, still Jimmy: put a fancy name on it and you can charge for owt Janis: they're stupid enough to buy it Janis: we're definitely getting them the cheapest paint-thinner vodka, yeah Jimmy: what do you want? 🍾? Janis: 🙄 deffo Janis: any +1s I can get Jimmy: such a celebration 🙌 Janis: everyone's feeling it Janis: we might not end up going anyway Jimmy: what? Janis: you know, fuck knows where they're all at with it Janis: 🤞 I've convinced Grace she has to though Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: whose idea were this? obvs a right dickhead Janis: yeah Janis: if we don't bottle it she can't Janis: tried her best but Jimmy: bottle her before I stay here Janis: you gotta be hot about it Janis: rude Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: come sit with me Janis: you sure Jimmy: you don't wanna? Janis: just thinking if there's any more shit news I have to give you before I do Jimmy: is there? Janis: I dunno Janis: you given any thought to who Mia's mystery guest could be Jimmy: I reckon that 🏌 trip her daddy's on might be #fake Janis: that'd make it all worth it Janis: none of us are that 🍀 Jimmy: or she's choosing now to come out with her 🤞 you will an' all Janis: shut up Janis: you're meant to think Asia is irreplaceable Jimmy: duh Jimmy: I know I'm #blessed Janis: you're the only one Jimmy: 😏 Janis: we all know Mia isn't surprising her with lizard boy Jimmy: or 🐸 from previous Janis: if we're doing a this is your life of her exes, she'll need a bus Jimmy: Alright, no need to make me jealous Jimmy: can't be arsed with the green emojis Janis: you can't be Janis: very #ungoals Janis: they're all massive slags and proud Janis: 'cept #2, who wouldn't and Tammy who couldn't Jimmy: Holly's a good name, bit prickly her Jimmy: the marding and the hair regrowth Janis: 😂 Janis: so mean Jimmy: did have to laugh when princess Ella were like mime to a sad song about it Janis: no doubt being favourite got her cocky but her comebacks were better Jimmy: wonder who'll be fave by the time we get there Janis: not her, if Holly made good on her threat Jimmy: bloody musical thrones Jimmy: could be on telly Janis: 🙄 don't say that Janis: already think they're interesting enough to film it Jimmy: I get it, that's only us, eh babe? 😏 Janis: duh Janis: why it weren't hard to 👑👑 Jimmy: pissed on my 💍 proposal, still fuming Janis: me and all Janis: chat about not getting sarcasm, you know Asia's gonna come at me with a Pinterest moodboard moment Janis: tah so much Jimmy: proper 💕 that girl Janis: mm Jimmy: leaning on your phone cos you're 🗭 about 💍👰 Jimmy: very #goals that Janis: not gonna waste any time dreaming when it's SO real am I Jimmy: you don't want a 🌠 to have a go on then? Jimmy: loads out here Janis: what a totally believable coincidence Janis: guess I better Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [coming out like oh hey] Jimmy: [patting the doorstep he's sitting on like have a seat] Janis: [doing it but raising a brow like 😏 'you gonna give me my annual report or something?'] Jimmy: ['that what you're after from me, is it?' 😏 'loads of long words'] Janis: [shrugs 'asking if you were gonna punish me seemed cliche so'] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: [nudges him, not in a shut up way but a how're you way] Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos not alright so gotta be OTT about it] Janis: [strokes his hair 'we don't have to go, you know, if you need to stay here...they're perfectly capable of tearing themselves apart in the meantime'] Jimmy: [makes an unimpressed noise cos can't admit that he wants to go to be with her or get into how he always needs to stay here whether he likes it or not] Janis: [smushes his face 'alright, grumpy'] Jimmy: [pushing her off but then pulling her into you at the same time as if you're not already close af to each other] Janis: ['what do you wanna do?' soft] Jimmy: [kisses her because that's always what he wants to do even though we all know that's not what she meant] Janis: [allowing it though 'cos same] Jimmy: [just a nice little make out moment to lose ourselves in and forget everything else] Janis: [you really deserve it] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' we know the answer is no but] Janis: ['any chance to fuck with them is a good idea, yeah' 'cos wasn't a bad one, just ehh 'cos of this Harry thing and Cass going off] Jimmy: [nods like that's that settled then cos god forbid you offer your own opinion boy] Janis: ['plus, we get to have our own tent'] Jimmy: ['there's nowt you could say or do to convince me to go if we didn't' sounds like such a challenge lol] Janis: ['stop tryna make me feel special, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['wouldn't be very goals of me, that'] Janis: [makes face like, gutted] Jimmy: [shamelessly just touching her face nbd] Janis: [looking awayayay] Jimmy: [when that devastates you but there's nothing you can say or do because everything's so casual and so only sexual yep] Janis: [just resting your head on his shoulder now 'cos drama] Jimmy: [playing with her hair in the softest way because of course] Janis: ['what are you gonna wear then?' 'cos we're definitely all thinking about our #lewks rn] Jimmy: [such a surprised lol because not what he expected her to say obvs] Janis: ['this isn't a laughing matter' in some semblance of a Mia impression] Jimmy: [when it's probably pretty accurate so you flinch like oh no I hate that] Janis: [loling evilly, 'not doing Asia for you, get over it'] Jimmy: [💔 hands even though it means you have to stop playing with her hair for a sec] Janis: ['bitch' who we referring to here] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi cos assuming she means him] Janis: ['what you gonna do about it?' 😏] Jimmy: [playfight cos it's been a minute] Janis: ['not going to apologize to her'] Jimmy: ['if not that, what is the plan?'] Janis: [🤔 face] Jimmy: [hiding his 😍 by looking at the imaginary watch like any time you're ready] Janis: [nudges him like alright, alright 'how can we make the divide even bigger? need to get them to fight again, which really shouldn't be hard'] Jimmy: ['your sister and the tall one are already about to snap, no challenge there, if we really want to fuck her over we need to get her ultimate fave on side' shrugs because that's always the mood] Janis: ['yeah, but they always roll over, that's the problem, we have to kick it up that notch so they all go beyond that...I just don't know how, ditto what we can give that one that Mia can't, like' shrugs back] Jimmy: [gets his phone and shows her that he's messaging Asia like he really wants her boyfriend there for the lad bants because that's an easy given to annoy Mia] Janis: ['I think she's invited Harry, or she wants me to think she has or- I don't fucking know but I don't think he'll come anyway' when you just blurt that out in response 'cos as good a time as any] Jimmy: [such a look like wtf cos god knows what he'll say if he blurts something out rn cos so 😒] Janis: ['the way she didn't say...they basically give each other measurements and a star-rating usually so- don't you reckon she was trying to get at us?' shrugs like could be wrong but we all know it ain't] Jimmy: [when you get up because you know she's right and you're fuming honey] Janis: ['I know' but also like ?! reaction you can't hide] Jimmy: [he literally has no words for how fucked up this all is and how much he can't stand Mia so just the biggest sigh to ever have existed] Janis: ['there's no way he'll come, bet she ain't even asked'] Jimmy: ['that's alright then' bit of sarcasm for you there Ella lol] Janis: ['Well, ain't it?'] Jimmy: [😒 af face] Janis: ['she's a cunt, we've known that'] Jimmy: [sitting back down where you were but you're not chill at all] Janis: [getting him another 🚬 and then herself] Jimmy: [furiously 🚬 while he's trying to think of ways to fuck Mia over] Janis: sorry Jimmy: shut up Janis: well I am Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't] Janis: [shrugs like fine but is just jogging her leg up and down 'cos not cool with this and has been thinking about it since the chat] Jimmy: [puts his hand on said leg like stop it's okay] Janis: ['he's so-' lacking the words or adequately hardcore 😒 face for him] Jimmy: ['he's nowt we can't handle' but so genuinely said not like ha we're so 🥇 bants] Janis: ['we shouldn't have to, you especially but still, it's bullshit'] Jimmy: [shrugs but looking at her 'I said you're worth sticking around for, didn't I?' because everything is bullshit or worse in jimothy's life rn we know so to say that and mean it is a LOT 'not gonna change my mind 'cause of him, her or any other knobheads'] Janis: ['I-' when you can't even begin to say anything that you think matches what he's just said remotely so you just falter but the LOOK is everything] Jimmy: ['it'll be alright' said like even if it's not it still will be because he literally only cares about her so he'll make sure it is] Janis: [nods and squeezes his hand 'fuck 'em all'] Jimmy: [draws the heart with their initials in on her hand with his fingertip pressing harder than usual for emphasis and obvs using the hand she's not holding so he doesn't have to let go because they in this together and such a good team and not because he loves her or anything nope] Janis: ['draw blood or it didn't happen, baby' bravado to cover the real as hell 😳] Jimmy: [taking the invitation to do a new lovebite because we all need that distraction before shit gets any feelsier] Janis: [lean into the sex of it all kids 'cos we don't need to fake any of that to still be real[ Jimmy: [lowkey love that you're on the doorstep still] Janis: [bonjour neighbours, Ian will be thrilled and thus I am 'cos fuck you] Jimmy: [same because you make this flatwhite drama seem like a picnic sir] Janis: [true tea, like in the grand scheme of things, are we bothered] Jimmy: [he's really not we know he's only doing any of this for her and to spend time with her so] Janis: [and as much as Mia deserves payback by this point, this is all a distraction from the real mess of her life too so] Jimmy: [the truest tea] Janis: [probably do at least take this to the back lol] Jimmy: [enough people and a dog milling around to make you think someone could be about to come out of that door and convince you to move lol] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [take all the alone time you can get rn cos this festival is gonna be a LOT] Janis: [we know it, as much as you're low-key just like we gonna spend the whole time just 😍 at this point, 'cos fuck it, won't actually be that, soz] Jimmy: [mhmm we'll make sure Mia has a worse time but it's not gonna be all fun and games for you two] Janis: [joy of joys] Jimmy: [we should make a list of everything we wanna happen in terms of the flatwhites bs when we're done but before we start the festival fr so we can decide how to ref it] Janis: [good idea carrot] Jimmy: [cos obvs we only care how it effects jj soz not soz] Janis: [but of course, we gotta timeline the drama so we don't forget anything] Jimmy: [do we wanna now or is there anything else we wanna do in this convo?] Janis: [hmm, like she's probably gonna try and leave 'cos still in that stage of like, you don't want me to sleep over but aside from that moment, we can probs get going on the plan] Jimmy: [we could always bring out the big guns because Ian isn't gonna want him to go either but like obvs don't wanna go too hard with that before they go for a million reasons] Janis: [we can deffo do that afterwards, like they've already had a time then Ian is fuming, think that's better] Jimmy: [agreed because we know we're gonna do something to make the fwb awks on top of the flatwhites bs so his mood will be peak sick of Ian's shit] Janis: [gonna move her in so soon get over it sir] Jimmy: [alright in that vein how do you wanna do her trying to leave?] Janis: [like it clearly gets to tea time or something like that where she can be like, I'll leave you to it] Jimmy: [and he's like bit rude like it's all bants and she's a rich girl with fancy tastes and he's a poor boy who can't cook we know the drill] Janis: [and she's like don't be stupid 🙄 'cos gotta defend yourself even in bants] Jimmy: [and he's like now I'm thick as well, tah very much etc etc] Janis: ['just northern'] Jimmy: ['oi, keep taking my lines off me and what am I meant to say?' and a look that's nearly a LOOK because there's so much being unsaid and we all know it, them included] Janis: [mimes 🤐 but on his face not hers for closeness you simply do not need but clearly do] Jimmy: [picks her up which you're still not meant to do boy and puts her on the kitchen counter like you're staying that settles it] Janis: ['am I sous chef or the appetizer?'] Jimmy: [can't speak cos 🤐 but his 👀 are saying so much rn] Janis: [thinking he's being quiet 'cos the kids are like in the lounge or something so kinda like whooops 'dessert, maybe'] Jimmy: [still looking at her like are you gonna stay for that long because don't actually wanna say it in case she's like no] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'no one's expecting me, like'] Jimmy: [releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding, like] Janis: [getting down off the counter like go on then, lemme help] Jimmy: [god knows what we're making but we're doing it together guys] Janis: [kissing his cheek 'cos he's cute] Jimmy: [properly kissing her because that made him die] Janis: [remember at calis in the kichen, a mood] Jimmy: [we should have one of the kids come in before they get too extra/the food is forgotten about entirely] Janis: [deffo] Jimmy: [who do you vote for cos very different vibes depending if it's Bobby or Cass lol] Janis: [we can be a bit mean and say its Cass] Jimmy: [LOL imagine her face just like don't mind me starving to death you two carry on] Janis: [not winning any points yet babe] Jimmy: [we know you will soon gal] Janis: what did your ex do? Jimmy: ? Janis: she must've done something to make your sister hate all of your 'gfs' that hard by default Janis: even if I am delaying her tea, like Jimmy: she did loads of things Janis: right Jimmy: @ either of them for the list Janis: you're alright Janis: not that nosy Jimmy: just 🤏 Jimmy: I get it Janis: 'course Janis: if the reason my parents hated you was worth telling I would, like Jimmy: community service ain't enough of a reason? Janis: 'course not Janis: not when you pretend you're still cool to prove you ever were Jimmy: 👎 Janis: what, you wanna go harder to be public enemy #1? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: obviously Janis: you tryna displease my parents is just as weird as you tryna please 'em Janis: just pretend they don't exist, yeah Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: they ain't even in your age-range Janis: behave Jimmy: gutted about that an' all Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: gross, you Jimmy: Bill's gonna be well proud of that protest Jimmy: and your cool parents an' all Janis: piss off Janis: [😒 face] Jimmy: [hooray we can do the beloved pouty face lip thing when he of course kisses her rn oh how I've missed it] Janis: [likewise 'cos loves that so much] Jimmy: [I think it's the first time and I'm fine about it] Janis: [in that case, she's so not, forgetting you just got shaded about being extra so hard] Jimmy: [soz not soz Cass] Janis: ['you know-' being quiet enough that hopefully you aren't disturbing everyone rn '-you know how much I want you' is that a question or a statement, we love being vague] Jimmy: [there's no way he's being quiet enough if he doesn't kiss her really hard rn deal with it everyone he doesn't wanna take care of y'all he wants to be 15 and extra] Janis: [let this boy live] Jimmy: [we're living in this kitchen atm though] Janis: [gotta be up against the door like soz no one come in rn] Jimmy: [give them all the moments thank you cos there's no stopping this and we aren't sorry about it] Janis: [y'all will be fine, they won't] Jimmy: [exactly] Janis: ['I need you' 'cos close as you're allowed to get rn ty] Jimmy: [likewise say her name in response cos that's all I'm letting you say] Janis: [all ready for this trip] Jimmy: [gonna be hilarious for us but not for you] Janis: [so, let's do a flatwhite cringe checklist lol, one of them, probably Asia, needs to be schwasted and get WELL lost, like maybe her mans does show halfway through the night and is like where is she and they're like ??? and then it's dramaaaa] Jimmy: [that's a really good idea] Jimmy: [I think Grace should be the one who hooks up with a lad and then they can't get rid of him and his gaggle of mates because that'd annoy Mia so much which she swore to Janis she would do but also something she would do because Ella called her fat and Hollie should sleep with one of the others but not remember which one it is like we said] Janis: [I vibe that, oh Hollie, hmm what else, one of them needs to freak out in the crowd and have to get pulled out, that's v cringe, like it's hardly a moshpit ladies] Jimmy: [I was literally gonna say someone should go to the first aid tent for no real reason because same vibe] Jimmy: [Ella should be the crowd freaker outer because she probably doesn't like to be touched and Mia should go to the first aid tent like nearly as soon as they get there because gotta pull focus and phone her daddy for that attention she's not getting from her squad rn] Janis: [approved, what a holy show, ladies, plus if Mia does that it'd be a way to force them into a truce without them realizing like omg are you okay and all taking care of her she don't need] Jimmy: [yeah exactly what a snek and it gives her an excuse to cry over the fact Harry ain't coming without them knowing that's why like she's not upset she's just so ill okay] Janis: [obviously they'll all get white girl wasted and embarrassing with that] Jimmy: [good lord yes that's a given at least when JJ get drunk they embarrass themselves with how much they secretly love each other, state of that lot honestly] Janis: [seriously, if it's a small festival maybe the lads they hook up with are in one of the bands 'cos that'd be annoying thinking they're like famous and it's like you aren't though and you were probably shite] Jimmy: [yaaaas I love that] Jimmy: [I also vote that the weather is really crap cos JJ won't care but they would cos their hair and their lewks] Janis: ['cos it always is and you have to roll with it but they apparently didn't get the memo lol] Jimmy: [Hollie the only one vaguely appropriately dressed for festival life] Janis: [it's funny 'cos festival fashion is meant to be so effortless and none of them can ever like they'll look so try-hard and their age 'cos younger girls are like that at raves and shit too like you gotta hang] Jimmy: [mhmm so mad cos Janis looks fire whenever aren't you Mia] Janis: [their posh girl lewks, oh lord] Jimmy: [I just imagine Mia's dad being slightly weird about getting updates throughout the weekend cos he's that cringey and near incesty] Janis: [deffo, when you're in a relationship with your dad, like how's golf, how's the lads, eurgh] Jimmy: [honestly though just having that husband and wife style convo nbd] Janis: [that's why you mad he cheating on your ma, don't lie] Jimmy: [the tea, girls that are older than you but still far too young for him and everything you wish you were] Janis: [he's not even fit it's so sad and gross] Jimmy: [no happy ending for you hun] Janis: [so we've got a good idea for them, what do we wanna do with the fwb moment?] Jimmy: [I wanna fuck it up cos I'm evil but I'm not sure how yet] Janis: [hmm, let's think]

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led-sbian · 7 years ago

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Tagged by @thepersianpopinjay thanks!!!

Rule: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs to get to know them better!

Nickname: i guess some people from school call me nadeeja

Gender: female

Star sign: scorpio

Height: 5’ 4"

Time: 8:25 pm

Birthday: november 4

Favorite bands: Queen, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Simon and Garfunkel

Favorite solo artists: Billy Joel, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell

Song stuck in my head: nothing rn

Last Movie Watched: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Last Show Watched: Daria

When did I Create this blog: spring 2015 i think

What do I post: classic rock, gay stuff, funny stuff, my problems

Last thing I Googled: is it fall yet

Do you get asks: not much

Why did you choose your URL: i like led zeppelin and i’m a lesbian. so creative

Following blogs: 368

Followers: 556

Favorite colors: blue

Average hours of sleep: like 7

Lucky number: don’t have one

Instruments: don’t play one

What I am wearing: a red lizard shirt my friend made me, gray swim team sweat pants, and striped fuzzy socks

How many blankets do I sleep with: 5

Dream job: epidemiologist

Dream trip: london

Favorite food: ice cream

Nationality: ukrainian and jewish

Favorite song right now: idk

I tag: any one who wants to do it

#me #personal #tagged

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full-moon-milk · 7 years ago

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Wadda funk bulnasore

Tagged by @mightykombat

1. Nicknames: Janis

2. Gender: Female

3. Star Sign: Aquarius

4. Height: 5′8″

5. Time: 6:09 EST

6. Birthday: January 21st

7. Favorite Bands: Earth Wind and Fire, The B-52′s, Nitemoves

8. Favorite Solo Artists: Voltaire

9. Song Stuck in My Head: Junkyard Jive

10. Last Movie I Watched: The Graduate (for Film class)

11. Last Show I Watched: Impractical Jokers

12. When Did I Create My Blog: 2013-ish?

13. What Do I Post: Reblogs of fanart of things I like, animals (mostly lizards, amphibs, fish and birds), my own art and seldom few shitposts from me.

14. Last Thing I Googled: “famous movie scene chair water”

15. Do I Have Any Other Blogs: An art blog and absolutely nothing else.

16. Do I Get Asks: Sometimes

17. Why I Chose My URL: http://wiki.mizuumi.net/w/Akatsuki_Blitzkampf/Kanae

18. Following: People

19. Followers: People

20. Average Hours of Sleep: 8-9

21. Lucky Number: 8709

22. Instruments: Didgeridoo, drums

23. What Am I Wearing: Jimi Hendrix T-shirt and sweatpants

24. Dream Job: Character/Game designer

25. Dream Trip: Italy, India, Japan, South Korea, Mexico, Kenya

26. Favorite Food: Mac and cheese, fried chicken, dumplings, sweet and sour chicken, wonton soup, cookies, mint ice cream, Oreos, flavored noodles, corn

27. Nationality: White

28. Favorite Song Right Now: Forgotten Dungeon from Rayman M/Arena

Anyone else is free to do this

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biancavz-blog1 · 7 years ago

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task #1

( &&. general information )

Full name: Bianca Beatrice VanZant

Pronunciation: Bianca [bee-ahn-kuh] VanZant [van-zant]

Nickname(s) or alias: B- but only for close friends, if you’re not close you’ll probably get an eye roll

Preferred name: Bianca

Current age: 21

Astrological sign: Cancer

Element: water

Title: Miss

Label: The Fraud

Gender: Cis Female

Preferred pronouns: she/her(s)

Sexual preference: Homosexual

Romantic preference: Homoromantic

Resides in: Princeton, NJ

Current occupation: student

Language(s) spoken: English, conversational Spanish

Native language: English

Current marital status: single

( &&. background )

Reason behind name: her middle name, Beatrice, was her paternal grandmother’s name; her parents just liked Bianca

Birth order: youngest, has one older sister

Ethnicity: English, Irish, and French

Nationality: American

Religion: Atheist now, but raised Catholic- family is not overtly religious

Culture: n/a

Traditions/customs: grew up going to church on Christmas and Easter- her family was never super into religion

Political views: Liberal

Financial status: formerly wealthy

IQ: 132

Hometown: Las Vegas, NV

( &&. physical appearance )

Looks like (or face claim, if applicable): Carlson Young

Height: 5’2”

Weight: 119

Shoe size: 7

Figure/build: thin, toned

Hair colour, Dyed?: naturally blonde

Hair length: long

Eye colour: hazel

Glasses? Colour? / Contacts? Are they coloured?: used to wear glasses, now wears contacts almost always

Shape of face: diamond

Do they shave/wax? Where?: yes, both

Skin tone: peach-ish

Tattoos: has a really small yellow rose on her ribs

Piercings: ears

Birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: thin scar that runs up half of her left calf

Dominant hand: right-handed

If painted, what color are their nails/toenails?: black or white

Usual style of clothing: comfortable but chic- has to keep up appearances

Frequently worn jewelry: rings- all kinds of rings, but always a sapphire ring that her mother gave her when she turned 13

Describe their voice: a little low and raspy

What is their speaking style (fast, monotone, loquacious)?: pretty monotone, not very fast

Describe their scent: used to wear expensive perfume, but doesn’t really have money for it anymore

Describe their posture: Great posture, but has gotten slightly more relaxed since going to college- had to have good posture growing up or else her older family members would berate her

( &&. legal information )

Any speeding tickets?: Yep, one, but has talked her way out of two others

Have they ever been arrested?: almost

Do they have a criminal record?: no

Have they committed any violent crimes?: no

Property crimes?: no

Traffic crimes?: yes

Other crimes?: underage drinking and drug use, I guess?? But was never arrested for it

( &&. medical information )

Blood type: A-

Date/time of birth: June 24 at 7:21 am

Place of birth: Nevada

Vaginal birth or cesauren section?: vaginal

Sex: Female

Diet: eats healthy, lots of fruits and vegetables- watches her figure pretty closely

Smoker? /Drinker? / Drug User?, Which?: drinks fairly often- mostly socially; smokes weed occasionally; used to do coke, but has since stopped

Addictions: none

Allergies: cats

Do they get occasional checkups?: yes

Ever broken a bone?: yes, broke her right wrist in 7th grade

Hospital visits, what for?: for the broken wrist and then once because she fainted at school in high school

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: struggles with mental health, but tries to ignore it and never wants anyone to know

( &&. career information )

Do they enjoy their current occupation?: sure, she’s a fast learner and knows it’s important for her future

Why do they do it?: to get somewhere, to separate herself from her father

How did they end up in their current occupation?: n/a

How long have they been in their current occupation?: since she was a kid

( &&. personality )

Direct quote from them: “Telling me to smile more will only make my scowl deepen.”

Positive traits: smart, passionate, caring, funny

Negative traits: secretive, cynical, guarded

Likes: hard-working and genuine people, feminism, politics, yellow roses

Dislikes: Trump, horses, red roses

Strengths: can read people really well and she’s a really good listener

Weaknesses: finds it hard to open up to people; is terrible at math

Insecurities: her body, her family’s situation

Fears/phobias: horses, everyone finding out about her family’s money problems, dying alone

Habits: cracks her knuckles too often

Quirks: can’t sleep without a fan on

Hobbies: running, writing- mostly poetry

Guilty pleasure: extremely cheesy lesbian romance novels

Desires: happiness, to have money again, true love (but only on the low)

Regrets: being a bitch in high school

Secrets: that her family is broke

Turn ons: tight pants/skirts- she’s an ass girl- attractive hands, sexy voices

Turn offs: stingy people, suck ups

Superstitions: salt spilling thing

Lucky number: 11

Pet peeves: loud chewers, horse girls

Their motto: “adapt and overcome”

( &&. favourites )

Food: pie

Drink: vodka

Fast food restaurant: Chipotle

Flavour: green apple

Word: fuck

Colour: black

Clothing: Steve Madden high-heeled boots

Accessory: the ring her mom gave her

Candle scent: fresh cotton

Store: Victoria’s Secret

Instrument: drums

Game: ERS

Occupation: presidential Chief of Staff

Animal: lizard

Holiday: New Year’s Eve

Weather: a little rainy

Season: fall

Book: Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Artist: Marina and the Diamonds

Band/group: The Smiths

Song: Forget by Marina and the Diamonds

Movie/film: Casablanca

TV show: House of Cards

Sport: tennis

Sports team: not a big sports watcher

Quote: “Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat.” – Audre Lorde

School subject: government

Teacher: her high school AP Gov teacher, Mrs. Broum

Possession: the ring her mother gave her

Name: Margaret

Number: 11

Emoji: the black heart

Landmark: Grand Canyon

Person: Frankie

( &&. skills )

Talents: can run a 5-minute mile

Special powers/abilities: n/a

Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles?: she can drive a car; she can also sail bc raised rich af

Can they ride a bike?: yes

Do they play any sports?: used to play tennis and soccer, but not anymore

Anything they’re bad at?: singing

Do they have any combat training? Why?: no

( &&. firsts )

Childhood memory: her older sister pushing her in a swing in their backyard when she was 3 and her sister was 8

Crush: Janie Ullman

Email address: [email protected]

Job: student

Phone: Motorola Razor- the pink one

Kiss: Trent Hardin in the 7th grade

Love: she’d rather not remember her

Sexual experience: Michael Kennedy sophomore year of high school- was still trying her hardest to convince herself that she was straight

( &&. childhood )

Best childhood memory?: summers spent with Frankie

Worst childhood memory?: walking in on her dad cheating on her mom

What were they like as a child?: precocious, confident, loud

Any crushes growing up?: plenty- mostly secret because they were all girls

Did they know/like their parents?: she loves her mom, her dad not so much

Worst influence on them as a kid?: her dad

Did they have a lot of friends?: yes

Were they heavily punished?: not really, pretty much free reign- not that she was that misbehaved

Anything they wish they could cut out?: walking in on her dad cheating on her mom and also most of high school

Were they more feminine or masculine?: feminine

Were they an early or late bloomer for puberty?: early

Do they still know any of their childhood friends?: yes

Did they have any chores? What?: nope

Describe their childhood home: huge and opulent

( &&. this or that )

Expensive or inexpensive tastes?: expensive

Hygienic or Unhygienic?: hygienic

Open-minded or close-minded?: open-minded

Introvert or extrovert?: extrovert

Optimistic or pessimistic?: pessimistic

Daredevil or cautious?: depends on the situation- cautious in love, daredevil in most other things

Logical or emotional?: logical

Generous or stingy?: generous

Polite or rude?: generally polite- was raised to be

Book smart or street smart?: book smart

Dominant or submissive?: we talking in bed? bc surprisingly submissive

Popular or loner?: popular

Leader or follower?: leader

Day or night person?: night

Cat or dog person?: dog

Closet door open or closed while sleeping?: closed

( &&. family relationships )

Father: Jacob VanZant

Describe their relationship: horrible; her dad’s a huge dick, he ruined the family in her opinion, also, he doesn’t accept her sexuality

Mother: Margaret VanZant

Describe their relationship: very good, she loves her mom- they’re close

Brothers: none

Describe their relationship: n/a

Sisters: Evelyn Gregory nee VanZant

Describe their relationship: great, she trusts her sister and they spend a lot of time together- Evelyn and her husband are putting her through college

Other important relatives: her brother-in-law, Luke Gregory

Significant other: none currently

( &&. other relationships )

Best friend: Frankie Sullivan

Past romances: she’d rather not remember most of them

Pets: had a dog growing up, Humphrey, he was a bulldog

Heroes: Gloria Steinem

Roommate(s): lives in a single

( &&. social media )

Do they have a Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? Vine? Snapchat? Tinder/Grindr? Tumblr? YouTube?

If so; Name on Facebook: Bianca VanZant

Twitter handle: @biancabvz

Instagram user: @biancabvz

Vine user: n/a (rip vine)

Snapchat user: @bvanzant

Name on Tinder/Grindr: Bianca

Tumblr URL: @biancavz

YouTube channel: n/a

( &&. musical tastes )

Theme song: Forget by Marina and the Diamonds

Can relate to: Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths

Would like to be played at their wedding: Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis

Would like to play at their funeral: Highway to Hell by AC/DC

( &&. miscellaneous )

Do they have a fake I.D.?: used to

Are they a virgin?: nope

Describe their signature: small, neat

How long would they survive in a zombie apocalypse?: probably awhile tbh, she’s adaptable

Do they travel?: used to

One place they would like to live: Washington, D.C.

One place they would like to visit: Brazil

Celebrity crush: Gina Rodriguez

What can you find in their pockets/wallet/purse: chapstick, water bottle, a flask, gum- usually several packs

When does your character like to wake up?: 7 am

What’s your character’s morning routine?: go on a run, come home and shower, get ready for the day- no breakfast usually

What does your character eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner?: she doesn’t eat breakfast; for lunch she usually goes for a salad or something similar; dinner is usually chicken or fish with vegetables and fruit

How does your character spend their free days?: spending time with her friends, writing poetry, running

What’s your character’s bedtime routine?: takes a shower (yeah, she usually showers twice a day), goes through social media, writes sometimes

What does your character wear to bed?: big shirt and underwear

If your character can’t fall asleep, what are they thinking about?: her family’s issues or everything going wrong in her life

What has been their greatest achievement?: getting into Princeton

What is their idea of perfect happiness?: not needing to worry about money and being with a woman she loves

What or who is the greatest love of their life?: hell, she honestly has no ideas- she might have some wishful thinking on this, though

On what occasions do they lie?: she lies about her family literally all the time

Most marked characteristic: her voice

What is one thing they’d most like to change about themselves?: how much she worries about her body

How would they like to die?: peacefully, preferably

Do they snore?: occasionally- but she will deny it

Do they chew their pens/pencils?: nope

Can they curl their tongue?: no

Can they whistle?: yes

Do they believe in the supernatural?: not really

Have they ever cheated on anyone?: no

Have they ever been cheated on?: yes

Has anyone ever broken their heart?: yes

Have they ever broken anyone’s heart?: yes

Are they squeamish?: not particularly

Have they ever killed anyone? Why? How?: nope

Have they ever seen anyone die? What happened?: she was in the hospital room when her grandpa died

Are they a lightweight?: no

#gogreek:task #this took me 9 million years woooow

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