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ikkyfics · 24 days ago

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Expecto Patronum

James Potter x f!reader x Remus Lupin

Summary: For a moment, it seemed like nothing would happen, but then, a silver light exploded from the tip of your wand, illuminating the clearing. The air grew heavy, as if time had stopped. When the glow faded, a magnificent stag stood before you. Your wide eyes followed it as it trotted across the clearing, majestic and serene. Remus stayed silent, his lips slightly parted. He knew. You knew. There was no denying what it meant. The stag was not just a reflection of your heart, but of what you had always tried to bury.

Warnings: angst

Masterlist | Finite Incantatem

The cold breeze coming from the Forbidden Forest did nothing to calm the storm raging inside you. Every failed attempt to conjure a Patronus left your hands shakier, your heart heavier. You had been there for longer than you could count, holding your wand like it was an anchor, but it seemed there wasn't enough happy memory in the world to light up the growing emptiness inside you.

Remus, sitting on a nearby root, watched you with a gentle and concerned look, his fingers drumming on the piece of chocolate he'd brought as encouragement. He was patient, as always, and his presence should have been comforting, but all you felt was a bitter mixture of frustration and shame.

"You need a break," he suggested, his voice low and calm, but firm enough to cut through the sound of your heavy breathing. "It's past time to try another day. There's no rush."

"I'll manage," you replied, though even your words sounded fragile, as if the weight of your determination was about to crush them.

He sighed, but didn't insist. Instead, he stood up and approached, holding the chocolate towards your trembling hands. "At least eat this before you pass out. Please."

You accepted, more so he would stop looking at you that way — with a mix of concern and something else you weren't ready to decipher. The sweet melted in your mouth, but the knot in your throat remained intact.

"You know what they say about Patronuses, right?" He asked hesitantly, as he sat back down on the root. "That they reflect something of the heart. Something true."

The thought struck you like a blade. Because you knew it was true. And that was exactly why you couldn't conjure anything. How could you find a happy memory strong enough to fight the darkness, when what occupied your heart was... him? James.

James, with that smile that made your knees weak. James, who made the silliest jokes just to see you smile. James, whose Patronus matched Lily's perfectly, as if the universe had designed them to be together.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, as if you could push away the weight of the memory that inevitably surfaced. It was a normal day, just you and him, running by the Black Lake, skipping stones across the water, laughing like fools. It wasn't what he said or did that marked the moment, but the way he looked at you. As if, in that moment, you were the center of his world.

When you opened your eyes again, something inside you had changed. You raised your wand, your hand steadier than before, and whispered the spell with more force.

"Expecto Patronum!"

For a moment, it seemed like nothing would happen, but then, a silver light exploded from the tip of your wand, illuminating the clearing. The air grew heavy, as if time had stopped. When the glow faded, a magnificent stag stood before you. Your wide eyes followed it as it trotted across the clearing, majestic and serene.

Remus stayed silent, his lips slightly parted. He knew. You knew. There was no denying what it meant. The stag was not just a reflection of your heart, but of what you had always tried to bury.

"It's like his," you murmured, more to yourself than to Remus. Your voice came out almost inaudible, laden with something you didn't want to admit, but also couldn't hide anymore.

Remus stayed silent for a long moment. You could feel his gaze on you, heavy but also filled with a silent understanding. When he finally spoke, his voice was so soft it seemed to hesitate in occupying the space around you.

"I know what it’s like," he said, the words carrying a weight that seemed far greater than the situation. You lifted your gaze, surprised, meeting his eyes fixed on yours, as if he wanted to make sure you heard, that you understood. "Loving something that feels... unreachable."

At first, you didn’t know what to say. The declaration hung between you, like a secret, revealed yet impossible to fully comprehend. He smiled, but it wasn't a joyful smile — it was melancholic, a curve of lips that seemed as tired as his heart.

"Remus..." you started, but you didn’t know how to continue. It was like the meaning behind his words was hanging in the air, and you couldn’t quite reach it.

He took a deep breath, looking down before continuing. "You know, sometimes it feels like a whole life is made of things we can never have." His voice faltered slightly, but he recovered, his eyes returning to yours. "I know how it hurts to look at something... someone, and know that, no matter how much you want it, it’s not for you."

His words hit you like a blow. Not because they were cruel, but because they were true. It was as if he was voicing everything you had been feeling, all the anguish you had been trying to ignore since you realized what James meant to you. And somehow, it made the pain feel less lonely.

"But that doesn't mean you have to carry it alone," he added, with an unexpected firmness. "I know it feels like no one understands, but... I understand. And I'm here. I'll always be."

The tears you had been holding back finally escaped. You tried to speak, but your voice failed, and all you managed was a barely audible murmur: "I don’t know what to do, Remus. It’s like... it’s like it hurts just to be near him."

He tilted his head, his eyes filled with something indescribable — maybe sadness, maybe empathy, maybe something deeper that he wouldn’t let surface. "Then don’t rush," he said. "Give time to time. And, when it’s too much, let me carry some of it for you."

You couldn’t respond, but when he reached out to take your hand, the gesture spoke more than any words could. His fingers were warm, firm, like a silent promise that you weren’t alone, even in the pain.

His eyes lingered on yours longer than seemed normal. For a moment, there was something there, something you couldn’t interpret, but that seemed as painful as what you felt. And then, as if forcing himself to do it, he looked away, the melancholic smile returning to his lips.

"You're going to be okay," he said, with a softness that seemed meant as much for you as it was for himself. "Even if it feels impossible right now. I promise."

The words hung between you, heavy with a weight that seemed impossible to shake. His eyes were fixed on you, and for a moment, you felt something inside your chest break. It wasn't just the pain of your own confusing emotions — it was the realization of how much he was willing to carry for you, how much he understood, how much he cared.

Without thinking, you stepped forward, your arms moving automatically to wrap around him. He hesitated, for a brief, almost imperceptible moment, before responding to the gesture, his arms closing around you with a firmness you didn’t know you needed. The warmth of the hug was immediate, but it brought with it a vulnerability you had been avoiding for so long. As if his presence was the only thread still holding you up.

"I don’t know if I can," you whispered against his shoulder, your voice trembling and broken.

"You can," he answered, without hesitation. His certainty seemed unshakable, even though his own heart was heavy with all the things he couldn’t say. "And if you can’t now, I’ll be here until you can."

The Patronus, that magnificent silver stag, didn’t disappear. It walked slowly around you, its hooves almost silent against the forest floor. Its light illuminated the space around you, casting soft shadows on the nearby tree trunks. It was impossible to ignore it, impossible not to feel the weight of what it represented. You felt warm tears sliding down your cheeks as you buried your face in Remus' shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just kept his arms around you as if he wanted to protect you from everything, even yourself.

Time seemed to stop. The world outside that clearing didn’t exist, only the sound of the light wind, the glow of the stag, and Remus' steady breathing against you. But then, something broke the moment — footsteps. Heavy, determined. And before you could react, you saw him.

James.

Your heart raced, as if it knew that, from that moment on, nothing would be the same. He was there, still, his bright blue eyes behind glasses fixed on you and Remus. The way he stopped, how his body seemed to stiffen for a moment, betrayed something he might still be processing.

Remus’ arms were still around you, and you felt their comforting warmth disappear as he took a step back, almost with an awkward haste. But the belated movement didn’t change the fact that James had seen. He had seen everything: the intimate hug, the way you had allowed yourself to crumble into Remus' arms, and, worst of all, the stag. The Patronus that was exactly like his, walking around you both.

"James," you managed to say, but your voice came out weak, trembling, as if his name was a blade in your throat.

He didn’t respond immediately. His gaze dropped to your face, registering the glisten of the tears that hadn’t dried yet. He always noticed. No matter how much you tried to hide — James always noticed.

"You’re crying," he said, finally, his voice low, laden with something you couldn’t decipher. It wasn’t just concern. It wasn’t just confusion. It was deeper, more complicated.

You opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. How could you explain something you didn’t even understand? The silence dragged on, heavy, suffocating, until he took a step forward, his eyes moving from you to Remus and, finally, to where the Patronus had disappeared.

"Was it your Patronus?" he asked, but the question sounded different now, almost as if he already knew the answer. He wasn’t asking for confirmation; he was trying to understand what it meant.

"Yes," you admitted, the word escaping before you could stop it. But your voice faltered at the end, as if the weight of the truth was too much to bear. "I... I’m still learning. It wasn’t—"

"It was perfect," he interrupted, his voice firmer than before. "I saw."

There was something in the way he said that, something that made your stomach twist. He saw. He saw the stag. He knew.

Remus, at your side, was quiet, his eyes fixed on the ground as if he wanted to disappear into the earth beneath his feet. He didn’t say anything, but his silence was as loaded as any word could have been. He knew this moment wasn’t his. He always knew.

"I was looking for you," James continued, but there was an evident tension in his voice. "I wanted to see if you needed help with the spell... I think I got here too late."

You tried to smile, but the gesture came out crooked, broken. "I managed... Remus helped me."

"Of course he did," James replied, but there was something in the way he looked at Remus, something that seemed like a mix of gratitude and discomfort. "You’re always there when someone needs you, aren’t you?"

Remus looked up, finally, but didn’t respond. He knew that anything he said now would only complicate what was already unbearably difficult.

James turned his gaze back to you, and the intensity in it made your heart tighten even more. "Why didn’t you call me?" he asked, and this time, there was something almost vulnerable in his voice. "I would’ve come. You know I would have."

"I know," you replied quickly, almost desperately trying to ease the hurt you saw in his eyes. "I just... didn’t want to bother you."

"Bother?" He laughed, but the sound held no humor. "You never bother me."

The silence returned, but this time, it was heavy with unspoken words. You could feel the weight of everything he wasn't saying, everything he was trying to understand. He looked at you again, his eyes locking with yours, and you saw when he realized it. He realized everything. The patronus, the tears, what it all meant. What you felt.

"I... I'll leave you two alone," Remus suddenly said, his voice low but firm. He took a step back, avoiding James' gaze as he turned to leave the clearing. "If you need me, I'll be in the tower."

The silence that followed Remus' departure was almost tangible, filling the clearing like a living presence. You wanted to say something, anything, but your throat felt tight, unable to form words. The weight of everything that couldn't be said hung between you and James, and every second dragged on, a lifetime of pain.

James stepped forward, his expression shifting from something near confusion to a devastating understanding. He was so close now that you could feel the warmth radiating off him, a proximity that, instead of comforting, made your chest tighten even more.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, and the question, so simple, seemed to hold an ocean of complexity. His voice was soft, almost as if he feared the answer.

You clenched your hands, struggling to keep some composure, but the weakness in your body was as great as the one in your soul. "It's nothing," you lied, but your voice trembled, betraying the attempt to hide the truth. "I just... was frustrated. With the spell."

James shook his head, and his gaze met yours with an intensity that made your heart stumble. "It's not just that," he said, the words coming slowly, as though he were choosing them carefully. "I know you, remember? I can tell when you're lying."

You looked away, because facing him at that moment felt impossible. But James didn't back off. He took another step, closing the distance between you, until you could smell his familiar scent, that aroma that always seemed like a mix of freshly cut grass, fresh air, and something unmistakably unique.

"Why didn't you call me earlier?" he asked again, and there was something in his voice, a vulnerability that seemed as painful as your own emotions. "You always call me when you need help."

"I didn't want to bother you," you said, the same excuse you had used before, but even you could hear how empty it sounded now.

He tilted his head slightly, studying you with those eyes that seemed to see through every wall you tried to build. "You never bother me," he repeated, his voice soft but firm. "Never."

Tears started to fall before you could hold them back, and the pressure you had been holding in your chest finally exploded. "I couldn't," you whispered, your voice faltering at the end. "Not with... with all this."

"With what?" James pressed, and the concern in his expression was tinged with something deeper, something more complex. He was starting to understand, but there was still a piece of the puzzle missing, and you could see that he was desperate to fit it together.

"Please, James," you begged, your voice broken. "Don't make me say it."

"Why not?" he asked, and there was an urgency in his voice now, as if he needed to hear it more than anything. He took another step, until you were so close that his warmth seemed to envelop you entirely. "Why do you think you can't tell me?"

You shook your head, but the strength to push him away, to create any distance, was no longer in you. And then he did the unthinkable. He raised his hand, and his fingers brushed your face, as light as a feather, wiping away a tear that was still falling.

"Please," he said, his voice now almost a whisper. "Tell me."

You felt your heart stop for a moment, as if time had slowed down. The words were stuck in your throat, burning, begging to be spoken, but the weight of the truth was overwhelming. He was so close now, his eyes locked on yours, filled with an intensity that almost hurt.

"It’s better not to," you finally answered, your voice hoarse, trembling.

James furrowed his brow, confusion mixed with something else — something you didn’t have the strength to decipher. "Why not?" he insisted, his voice firmer now, but still full of care.

"Because, James," you said, your lips moving before your mind could stop them. "If I say it, it will change everything. And I don’t want... I don’t want to lose you."

He was silent for a moment, processing your words, his face softening. "Nothing you say will change what we are," he stated, but there was a hesitation there, an uncertainty he was trying to mask.

You let out a bitter laugh, more to yourself than to him. "It will change everything for me, James. It already has."

"I don’t understand," he said, taking another step forward, his closeness making your breath falter. "Please, help me understand."

You clenched your fists by your sides, your heart pounding so hard it seemed to echo in the silence around you. Finally, you gave in, the barrier you had tried so hard to maintain crumbling in front of him.

"I love you," you confessed, and the pain in those words was so evident that it felt like it was cutting the air between you. "I love you in a way I never should. And I know you don’t feel the same. I know I shouldn’t have let it happen, but... it did."

James blinked, as if the confession had stolen the air from him. For a moment, he stood still, and the silence was almost unbearable. Then, with a slowness that seemed cruel, he sighed.

"I didn’t know," he said, his voice so low it sounded like an echo.

"I know," you replied, tears finally escaping your eyes. "And it’s okay, James. It’s not your fault. It never was."

He took another step, his hands moving as if he wanted to touch you, but stopping halfway. "You should have told me earlier."

"For what?" you asked, and there was a bitterness in your voice that you hated, but couldn’t contain. "To make everything harder? So you could feel guilty for something you can’t control? No, James. You didn’t deserve that."

He fell silent again, but the look in his eyes was so full of emotion that it was almost impossible to face. "You don’t deserve to go through this alone," he finally said.

"I’m not alone," you replied, and although your voice was soft, there was a firmness there. "I have my friends. I have you... even if it’s not the way I wanted."

James hesitated, the internal struggle evident in every line of his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, as if the words simply wouldn’t come.

"You’re so important to me," he finally said, and the sincerity in his voice almost destroyed you. "I just... wanted you to know that."

You nodded, knowing that was all he could offer. It was all you could have.

He took another step back, the distance between you growing, but still seeming far too small. "I hope you know that, even so, you’re incredible," he said, his voice gentle. "Really."

"I know," you replied, forcing a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. "Thank you, James."

And then he was gone, walking back toward the castle, leaving you alone in the clearing. The emptiness he left behind was almost unbearable, but you knew you had done the right thing. Even if it meant living with the pain of knowing he would never be yours.

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singmyaubade · 4 months ago

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Good Luck Babe

poly!marauders x nerd!female!reader

summary: after being a wallflower throughout your first five years at hogwarts, you always thought that you could be invisible. but when you hear the marauders talking cruelly about you and proceeding to ask for your forgiveness after, well good luck babe.

warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing, reader wants to kill the marauders , swearing, unprotected sex, praise, oral (male receiving), jealousy

a/n: oh hey... this is kinda based on those cliche 2000's movies where the girl is ugly but not really and she has that glow up or whatever. this was written so quick and not proofread, don't kill me. i hope you enjoy and as always, i apologize if you hate this!

STARTING off your sixth year at Hogwarts being an entirely new person wasn't something that you had planned or expected.

On the inside, you felt exactly the same, the same girl who was bold and could ferociously win a fight when it came to her character.

The same girl who was witty and sarcastic, surprising half of the people around you when you made a joke once in a lifetime.

But on the outside, you didn't have an awkward mis-shaped bob and you no longer wore baggy jackets that didn't do a thing for your figure.

And you didn't hide your face anymore, trying your best to be invisible.

It wasn't that you were shy or that you felt like a loser but you thought social hierarchy was bullshit and the only thing you wanted to focus on was your studies.

You may have been a brave Gryffindor on the inside but on the outside, you had to play the part of a shy mouse as corny as that sounds.

Unfortunately for you, invisibility only tends to last for so long until one moment, you are a nobody and then all eyes are upon you.

And maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't heard the Marauders discussing you the previous year, you would have stayed the same.

You had passed by the boys dormitory to give Remus his textbooks back as you always did when you let you borrow when you heard them speaking of the very person behind the door,

"I still have yet to understand why Lily and the rest of them act like she's some charity case," James huffed, "I mean, she's not some sick patient, they only feel the need to pity her because of how she looks."

You always knew that James had a foul mouth but to be speaking about someone like this, it was cruel.

Remus hissed, "That's not nice Prongs,"

"I'm not even saying it to be a dick!" James groaned, "I just mean, I pity her more for the fact that they don't even invite her to anything outside of breakfast and dinner," He explained, causing Remus to go silent.

Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "That's absolutely horrid."

James reclined on his bed, a smirk playing on his lips. "I’m just saying, if I were Y/N, I’d be mortified."

Your eyes widened as they began to water, they were speaking about you.

Remus leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Maybe she just doesn’t want to hang out with Lily and the others."

"Moony, seriously," James shot back, sitting up. "Where is Y/N right now, and where are the other girls?" His eyebrow cocked, trying to make his point as Remus silenced.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Why don’t we investigate for ourselves?" He unfolded the Marauder's Map with a flourish. "Alright, we’ve got Lily, Dorcas, Mary, and Marlene all at Hogsmeade, but Y/N is..." His voice trailed off, eyes narrowing.

James leaned closer, annoyance creeping into his tone as he grabbed the map, "She's-" He stopped, the color fading from his face.

"Fucking spit it out!" Remus said next as he snatched the map finally and saw that the map had shown that you were right outside their door.

"Shit!" You heard Remus say as he started making his way to the door.

Hearing his footsteps approaching, you quickly moved away from the door, bolting for your room.

Once you made it back to your dorm, you had sinked the floor. You put your hand on your mouth, muffling yourself as you cried silently.

You honestly hated to even say it but you did consider Lily and the rest of them your friends. You had never really thought about how they didn't invite you to places.

And if you were being truthful, they had never asked you to have breakfast or dinner with them.

You had always just assumed that you could join but they never told you to leave or swooshed you off. Another part of you hated how stupid you were, trying to intrude on their private time.

You didn't want to let it get to you what a bunch of seventeen year old boys were saying but it did sting horribly.

But in a way, it also motivated you to be who you were on the inside. You already had the top marks in your entire year and your plan to work in the Ministry after Hogwarts had already been set.

And now your chance to be something at Hogwarts was right in front of you, an opportunity that you couldn't miss.

You had to do it for yourself.

The Marauders had no idea who you truly were or even cared to know. And although Remus was kind to you, you could always see that he never made any effort to be your friend.

Not that you expected him to but it only taught you that they truly thought you were some hopeless case.

And an assignment to make the Marauders bite their tongues was one that you couldn't bare to fail.

After hearing that, you decided to avoid the Marauders for the next month, especially with summer break approaching. To your surprise, you barely saw them outside of classes, never giving them a chance to reach out—even Remus.

And then that summer, everything changed. You let your hair grow past your shoulders, embracing your natural curls instead of straightening them. You started wearing clothes that were trendy and form-fitting, a huge contrast to your old style.

You discovered a newfound love for self-care, enjoying the process far more than you expected. Each day felt like a transformation, and by the end of summer, your mother couldn’t help but notice. “Finally listening to me about your style, huh?” she teased.

You only laughed as you embraced her,

If only she knew what had caused it in the first place.

As you said goodbye to your family, anticipation mingled with dread. You knew the train ride would be the least of your worries, but the welcome dinner and the ceremony ahead felt like they might just be hell reincarnate.

As you entered Hogwarts, you admired it as much as you did when you were a first year. The castle was something you considered a second home and everything about it was magical, there was no doubting that.

A crowd of students, including yourself, moved toward the Great Hall, and you settled into your usual seat at the Gryffindor table.

You spotted the Marauders and the usual group of girls approaching, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. They took their usual spots in front of you, with the girls on one side and the boys on the other. James sat beside you, and Lily was directly in front of him.

You never quite understood why they arranged themselves like that, but it hardly mattered in the moment.

They were busy in conversation before James had noticed someone next to him, his eyes widening. You couldn't quite read his face but it seemed like a mix of confusion and flustered.

You stared at him back but he still had yet to mutter a word. You cleared your throat, "Uh hello," You practically whispered.

He snapped back into reality, "Oh sorry, hi," He muttered back.

Silence took over you both as James couldn't find the words of what to say to you.

On one hand, he wanted to call you beautiful, to tell you that you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. On the other, he just wanted to stare at you for a few more minutes like a creep.

Lily noticed his gaze and leaned in, smirking. "Excuse my friend; we’re still trying to figure out if he has a brain."

"I thought we solved that decades ago," Marlene chimed in, stifling a laugh.

Lily turned to you with a curious smile. "I don’t believe I’ve seen you before. What’s your name?"

Are you actually fucking kidding me?

You scoffed, "I'm Y/N,"

The entire group looked at you in awe, even the ones who weren't chimed in on the conversation.

"Y/N L/N?" Sirius asked, mouth gaping.

"Yep, that one," You snorted.

They all looked like they had seen a ghost, "You look different," Marlene said as Mary shoved her.

"She means in a good way!" Mary added.

"Uh thanks," You said, awkwardly.

They all continued to stare at you like you were an exhibit in a museum, their eyes scanning you up and down.

"Do you all mind not staring at me?" you asked, trying to break the tension. They all looked away, feigning innocence as they muttered apologies.

"How have you been?" Lily asked, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness.

"Fine," you replied, your tone clipped.

You caught the pained expressions on the Marauders' faces, realizing they were the reason for your dismissive attitude.

"That's great," Lily said, forcing a smile.

You felt a wave of frustration at the awkwardness surrouding you and decided it was time to escape. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you announced, heading toward the exit before they could respond.

As you walked away, you could already here the mutters and whispers emerging from the table, the fascinating topic being you.

You paced as you heard footsteps trailing behind you, but you ignored them, letting your gaze wander around the castle.

"Y/N!" someone called out, startling you.

You turned to see Sirius, James, and Remus hurrying after you. You only let out a snort before continuing your same way.

A hand suddenly reached around your forearm as you turned to see Remus. You quickly snatched your hand away, finally stopping to look at the group of boys who you despised.

Crossing your arms, you shot them a hostile look. "What?"

"We just wanna—"

"We're so—"

"Listen, we just—"

They all spoke at once, but you scoffed and turned back toward the bathroom, starting to walk away.

You were hoping that they would realize you wanted nothing to do with them but instead, it only made them want to chase you more.

They quickened their pace, and you spun around sharply. "For fuck's sake, what do you want?" you snapped.

James took a breath, his expression earnest. "I'm sorry for what I said. I've been thinking about it since you left. I was an awful twat, and you didn't deserve a thing of what I said."

You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Are you serious?" You asked as your expression changed to furious, "You basically called me a loser and said that Lily and the rest of them were only hanging out with me out of pity,"

James hissed as your statement, feeling the razor in your voice.

"-And now you all want to act as if I should just forgive you since I don't look the same anymore," You got closer to James's face, "Fuck off."

You turned your heel again and this time, the boys didn't follow you.

You finally entered the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you struggled to read the expression on your face. You were furious at the Marauders, and the idea of forgiving them felt impossible.

Yet, there was a flicker of gratitude that you felt for the change you’d undergone. You’d gained a new confidence that felt good, but the sting of their cruel words still lingered in your mind.

And you knew that you couldn't let it get to you but knowing they thought that of you, even Remus. It still did things to you that you would never admit out loud.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you realized it was almost time to head to the dormitory.

The rest of the night had flown by, with first years being introduced to their new home for the next six years while everyone else relaxed in the common room. Despite curfews, fifth years and above knew they could hang out longer—the curfew was mostly for the first years anyway.

"Caput Draconis," you muttered, and the Fat Lady nodded, granting you entrance.

Stepping into the common room, your heart sank as you spotted the last group you wanted to see. They noticed you just as quickly, encouraging you to pick up your pace toward the dorm.

"Hey, Y/N!" Dorcas called out, making you wince as you turned to see her waving.

The Marauders looked down, shame etched on their faces, avoiding your gaze as if you were Medusa.

You approached them slowly, dread settling in your stomach as they eyed you like a science project.

"We were just about to play a fun little game," Dorcas said enticingly, while Marlene snorted beside her.

"I don’t know if Spin the Bottle is a great idea for the first night back," Marlene added, taking a sip of her beer.

"A little peck never hurt anyone," Lily chimed in, clapping her hands together.

Of all people, you’d never expect Lily Evans to approve such a thing. This was the same girl who nearly fainted when she heard about Marlene and Dorcas kissing the previous year.

"I don’t know if this is the game for me," you replied, eyeing the group warily.

"Of course it is!" Lily insisted, but you raised an eyebrow. "Oh my gosh! Not like that, I just mean it's a fun game for us all to play," she quickly added, looking flustered.

Part of you wanted to say no and retreat to your bed, but that was the old you, and you knew it wouldn’t help. This was a new year, and you were determined to embrace new experiences.

Besides, you’d never participated in any scandalous games for all of the years you've been at Hogwarts—it felt like a crime in itself.

So, after a moment’s hesitation, you said, "Okay, sure." The girls erupted in cheers, while the Marauders exchanged worried glances.

What if you had to kiss one of them? Would you refuse and create a scene? Would you want to strangle them for even suggesting it?

The possibilities raced through their mind, but there was no turning back as everyone began to form a circle.

As you sat in the circle, a shiver of nervousness enveloped you. You had never kissed anyone before and the whole thought made you nervous within itself.

Don't get it wrong, you've had chances but they never seemed right and you certainly weren't kissing Matthew Trunchbull underneath the bleachers of the Quidditch field.

So when you got offered a shot of firewhiskey to cool your nerves by Marlene, you took it happily as it burned down your throat.

You brushed off all the negative thoughts entering your mind,

What really is the worst thing that could happen?

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