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façade, pt. eight : the battle of hawkins - steve harrington x fem!reader

This material may not be copied, reproduced, displayed, modified. This is my work, do not steal it, do not republish it.

summary: Revelations are in order, a plan too. Urgently.

warnings: (reading the first series is highly recommended) /NSFW/, no use of Y/n, she/her pronouns with no physical description, violence, near death experiences, blood, weapons, angst, depiction of mental illnesses and psychological abuse (warnings for the entire series not the individual parts) + First Shadow (the play) spoilers (sort of)

a/n: bear with me. BEAR WITH ME PLS. also, a round of applause for my two ride or dies please @hollandweather @we-out-here-simping they've been handling my scheming and teasing like they're royalty.

word count: 8.8k

façade the first series | the sequel | spotify playlist | pt. nine

Do not forget to reblog and comment, I would love to know your thoughts, it's incredibly lonely being a writer!!

The Upside Down was strangely quiet, there was not a particular direction set for them, finding a good enough place to hide and rest was their only goal for now. 

The group of hunters didn’t follow them, they probably thought they were maniacs for going into the gates, which.., isn't wrong. 

Not a sound was shared within the group, they had all gained back consciousness to Will’s voice waking them, throbbing headaches, nausea, more bruises and scratches, only the common goal to find someplace safe enough to rest. 

They walked through the woods for a bit, without knowing how much time had passed or what time or day it was, lost in darkness with only the red lightning shooting through the dark sky, and lost in time as Hawkins was lost in 83’ and with no sunlight nor moonlight to guide them. 

Marching along demolished houses, Hopper’s guess was to keep going until they got close enough to Hawkins’ centre; the closer the buildings were to the edge of the forest, the safer they were. 

“I know someplace, not far from here, Bradley’s Big Guy, down Center Street, there’s food and bottled water, it’s safe,” Will paused, waiting for an answer as everyone had stopped and turned to look at him, confused at the piece of information. 

“If it’s not destroyed, I could—”

“No,” Hopper interrupted, frowning, stoic and quite uncomfortable that a teenager would provide for them, he was the adult, he had to be the guardian.. didn’t he? “No. No one goes out anywhere alone, and how do you know that, kid?”

Will repositioned his hand around Dustin’s waist to get a firmer grip, finding himself quite embarrassed, “It’s.. it’s how I survived the first time around..” he added in a low voice, watching Hopper’s face turn into shame.. The realisation felt like a slap on the face, those kids have been surviving for years, and as of lately, without him, those kids have been going through this for four years now, they weren’t helpless nor incapable. He ought to remember that.

“Right.. It’s a good idea Will. We’ll go later, we have enough food, we need to find somewhere to rest first.” 

They kept on walking the length of the street, until they found a house, they had a direct access to the forest as it was on the edge, and Bradley’s Big Guy was about one block away, the library and police station were about three blocks away, so they were pretty close to the centre without catching anyone or anything’s attention. 

The house was a perfectly fine place to crash given the situation, they ate in silence, and used baby wipes to try and clean themselves a little bit, they emptied the packs of baby wipes given their number, and silently said their farewell to having proper hygiene. 

They decided on who takes watch first, and quickly everyone walked upstairs except Steve and Nancy who both covered the front and back doors. 

Steve had absolutely no desire nor the capability to fall asleep after the events of the previous days.

The Upside Down was uncharacteristically quiet, Steve had taken a barstool to take breaks standing up, watching through the windows, hidden by the curtain, there were no creatures, except Demobats he had seen fly after some time but it was very calm otherwise, which felt just worse. 

Moving a bit in the kitchen’s windows he saw the familiar shadowy form of the Mind Flayer’s head, far from there, it looked right in their direction but it was so stoic. 

Steve had goosebumps just observing it doing nothing but knowing he was watched, made him feel terrible. The powerlessness that came with that fact was like the weight of the sky on his shoulders. 

In need of a break he made his way to Nancy and discovered her in the living room, sitting on the sofa’s headrest, she turned her head when she heard him move, he sat down on the stairs’ first steps, sighing lightly. 

“Did you see anything?”

He shook his head, his fingers playing with the hem of his long sleeve shirt, “No, Demobats some time ago, and the Mind Flayer’s creepy head, but no, it’s.. It’s strangely quiet, don’t you think?” 

“It’s weird, yeah, we’re accustomed to more violence and attacks from the Upside Down, which only makes me wonder, how terrible is it gonna be when it comes?” 

He agreed, his head shaking, humming a little bit, giving thoughts to what she said, she was right, she had vocalised his worries, but Steve was quieter than usual, more.. kept together, which didn’t look like him to Nancy, and she couldn’t be more wrong. 

He absolutely wasn’t kept together, his train of thoughts had naturally derived to her and Eddie and he couldn’t stop worrying about them, “Do you think we’ll find them?” 

Now she could see through his worry, it’s almost like she didn’t recognise that side of him, he had changed so much, in the best way and she had failed to see that, but she stopped her thoughts from diving in dangerous territories and turned her body to face him. 

Steve’s lover’s name fell from her lips and his body had a visceral feeling, a longing so deep from his soul like he was lost without her, and he was, but Nancy continued, “She survived for a few days on her own without any knowledge of the Upside Down. I’m sure they’ll be okay, I’m only hoping we’ll find them quickly and soon.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, his frame turning more to her, “Do yo—,” he started but was cut off by screams echoing in the darkness, coming from one block away maximum, she turned around and Steve rushed to her side to try and catch a glance. 

The buildings and houses covered the entirety of it and they couldn’t see anything, the screams kept on going until Nancy gasped louder than she had intended to let out and Steve wanted to ask what until he saw. 

The Mind Flayer had gotten drastically closer to them, the swarm of Demobats left and the cries and screams quieted down, under their very frightened eyes and paralysed bodies by fear they watched as the Mind Flayer arrived closer and closer, with one singular, strident scream, the shadowy creature moved its two arms on the front and it being so gargantuan it moved at incredible speed to join the opposite side of town, overlooking the Upside Down once again. 

Steve and Nancy looked at each other, dumbstruck, unsure if they hallucinated what they just witnessed. 

They rushed to wake up everyone upstairs to explain what just happened only to find Will sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, the rest of the group around him. 

“What’s happening?,” 

“The Mind Flayer.. Those screams.. Please tell me I wasn’t hallucinating,” Will spoke directly to Nancy, his eyes red and wet, 

“You guys heard those too?” 

“‘T was pretty hard to miss. Will woke us up, saying that the Mind Flayer was coming, that he was hunting, he was.. he talked so fast, we couldn’t understand anything else,” Hopper calmly said, his eyes attentive to Will. 

Nancy explained them what they had witnessed, meanwhile Steve was deep in his thoughts, he had a feeling he knew who were attacked, he wanted to be wrong of course, but he couldn’t ignore his instinct, the voice behind the screams was so similar to him, “We have to go see if we can help whoever’s out there,” his voice broke through, everyone turned to him, either shocked or confused.

“We could get killed, are you insane?!” Jonathan was the first one to answer, he was equally as confused as everyone else but he grew tired of the situation, it seemed to be a never-ending situation where they continuously got hurt, followed, nearly killed.

Steve felt uneasy as soon as he heard him, and.. He was quite angry too, “We could get killed at any moment by being here, if it were you, wouldn’t you want to be given help if you were still alive? If it were Will? Nancy? We wouldn’t be talking about it, we would already be doing it, Jonathan,” Steve paused, he hadn’t felt so much anger towards Jonathan in years, and it seemed he was completely lashing out his anger.. And his truth. 

He hadn’t said anything to both Jonathan and Nancy when she had gone to him to be their own couple while they hadn’t officially put an end to their relationship, he felt cheated on but said nothing, and even having moved on from them, he hated it all. He hated still having to deal with this with them because Jonathan or Nancy would decide if something would have meaning or be accepted without a single thought back, while Steve has been considered the stupid and irresponsible one everywhere he stepped, he was immensely aware of that and he had enough. He took a step closer to Jonathan, who stood next to Nancy, 

“Your mother would be screaming both of your names without a care in the world that it would pinpoint all the creatures to us and we would be prey served on a silver platter, but you’re right, let’s not go help someone in need even if we’re in deep shit ourselves, let’s be so selfish we might stay here and rot and wait for either creatures to come find and kill us all. After all, you’ve always been one to disregard one’s feelings and trust your most selfish instinct isn’t that correct? You two are made for each other,” Steve finished, his words spitting venom that shocked everyone, but his head turned to Nancy, his glance never leaving hers’ with the most serious and warning look imprinted in his pupils. 

He left the room, leaving the room confused as to why would he lash out like that, and mostly, how it didn’t look like him at all, except Nancy, she felt like she was a deer caught by headlights, and she knew very well what he was referring to, Jonathan didn’t quite understand what it meant, he played it off as everyone was tired and irritable.

Indeed, being in such a large group and living a nightmarish situation, it was bound to create tension between tired, irritable and hurt people, but out of everyone, he didn’t expect Steve to be one of those as he always thought of him as.. small-minded and, well, idiotic. Jonathan’s opinion hadn’t changed from high-school which made him as narrow-minded as Steve believed him to be. 

They heard the front door closing shut and it sort of awaken everyone as they realised Steve had left, with a strangeness in their eyes, Hopper and Joyce left the floor and were quick on their feet to follow him, the kids copied the adults, the couple was left in the room, looking at each other, dumbfounded. 

Reluctantly, they followed the rest of the group until there was no one left. 

Steve was trying to pinpoint the exact location, upon the road he was only met with fractured asphalt and vines, the store was what he found first, he was about to step inside when he heard Hopper’s stopping him, asking him to wait for them, “We leave no one behind, got it?” 

He nodded, only half heartedly, Steve knew that he wouldn’t be much of a priority to anyone, and there was no point sugarcoating it, it was a fact and he was aware of it. His closest and best friend Robin was dead so he had no one close enough for it, except Eddie and her, if he managed to find them, and he had an intuition telling him he wasn’t far from them. That gave him enough of a motivation and will to act on it. 

Dustin was in between Mike and Will as they seemed to be his designated human crutches, but they didn’t mind; the three of them were somewhat content to have each other, Steve waited for them, and stepped after, not bothering to wait for Nancy and Joanthan from afar. 

They scavenged whatever they could find, whether it was food —Hopper didn’t trust canned food from the Upside Down, he wouldn’t be able to explain why, but he didn’t so they settled for packaged food in see through plastic— and absolutely anything that could be useful to make weapons or first aid kits. 

Leaving his aisle, small flashlight in hand —Hopper had given them when they had left his cabin, Steve had completely forgotten he had it as he had escaped death a million times before and using a flashlight didn’t seem smart— Steve had gone to the back of the aisle to search again until he found droplets of dried, marooned blood on the ground. 

His curiosity piqued, he followed it, it lead to the back, the workers’ only area, the clear glass doors intact and dirtied with numerous things including dried blood, it lead to a corridor with the back entrance and another room, no doors, it seemed to be used as a storage space and break room. 

He entered the latter as he followed the trail of blood, piles of clothes and cloths to make what seemed like a makeshift mattress, also bloodied, but it was fresher, it looked a bit sticky (coagulated) and didn’t look like the trail, or at least there were two different trails of blood. 

He sighed, he retraced his steps and decided on following down the corridor and exited through the back door, as he did so, Dustin had realised he had gone off and terribly wanted to follow him, he asked Mike to provide him with broomsticks and rubber, he fabricated crutches quickly and was able to follow Steve through the corridor, Mike and Will on his heels. 

They walked for only a few feet when they saw two people on the ground, one lying on his back, the other on the side, unfortunately, they could see who it was, at least Eddie’s hair was recognisable from that distance, they’ve all stopped in their tracks. 

Steve’s heart stopped, his legs were glued on the asphalt. His heartbeast suddenly grew louder in his ears, time had stopped. The world around him was crumbling down upon him and he was left powerless. 

  No. No. No, no no, no, no, no. It can’t be..

Please, for the love of God, No. 

Dustin’s voice broke him out from his paralysis, the poor teenager was next to Eddie, and for a second, it’s like they were reliving the same scene, days prior.

Dustin was crying out, hands tightly gripped to Eddie’s leather jacket, his cheeks and his eyes drowning in his tears, he was very vocal, just uncontrollable sob after another. 

He approached, cautiously as his knees were weakening, step after step it hit him more and more. 

Arriving at Dustin's level, his eyes first laid on Eddie, there was absolutely no doubt that he was dead, the amount of blood he had around him was.. deeply concerning. Pale lips, skin, the rigidness in his limbs, the emptiness in his eyes.. The pool of blood around him and on him..  it didn’t lie. 

His eyes fell upon her hands tightly intertwined in his, and from this moment it felt like an out of body experience. He crouched down next to Dustin, brought a trembling hand towards Eddie’s jaw, around where his jugular should be, an unsettling chill ran down his body when his fingertips touched coldness and rigid skin, he didn’t say anything, he only closed his eyes, his hand briefly touching his back to let him know he was there, and left Dustin to crouch next to her. 

Same trembling hand touched around her neck and he was shaken by a violent wave of hope, he could sense a fragile pulse, her skin was warmer and not as stiff, he lied her on her back, he was struck by the amount of blood she had on herself, some of it had to be Eddie’s, but he could see the difference between theirs, and immediately Steve tried looking for a wound, looking around her face, her neck, then his hands proceeded to lower his inspection, her cleavage then her arms, one side of her abdomen then the other and —Fuck! 

His eyes and brows widened in shock, fingertips soaked in blood, again, he didn’t know much, but he knew not to remove what was impaled in her lower abdomen. He completely fell on his knees, his eyes did double takes to her wound and her unresponsive face, he saw the faint rhythm of her stomach moving up and down, an immediate reaction of loyalty struck him and his hands grabbed her cheeks, moving her face so she was facing him. 

His finger pads inspected her hair line as he felt scabs and he sensed many, small cuts, he could feel the inflamed skin under the bruises, her name fell from his lips like a never ending spell, conjuring her to open her eyes and talk to him. He longed to see the colour of her eyes and the sound of her voice, to see a tiny smile appear around the corner of her lips, it would appease his mind, pacify his every anxious thoughts. 

To Hopper approaching it sounded like a solemn prayer, he couldn’t quite see who was with Dustin and Steve until he was closer and he stopped in his tracks, he knew the Munson kid from afar as the sheriff he had had encounters with him, he had never been so strongly opinionated as the rest of town since he knew Eddie’s background, always let him go with a warning as he was himself not so.. uninfluenced.

As for her.. he did know her family, but not that well, he remembers seeing her here and there in town, walking home from high-school, ignoring the cars full of her classmates making fun of her as they drove, he remembers that; he also remembers not doing anything about it. Watching it happen. 

Joyce approached Hopper, who got closer to Mike and Will, the four of them felt powerless, and completely out of it as they saw Dustin’s never ending sobs and Steve’s tentative of waking her up, even if most of them didn’t really know who she was. 

Steve was panicking upon the facts that a. They were in the Upside Down, b. Eddie was dead, c. he felt the most gut wrenching guilt to have been with her, having had an incredible month with her as a couple when he knew that trying to find love would lead to this situation, he felt responsible for it, and he hated himself for it, she shouldn’t have gotten involved, she didn’t deserve all the pain, injuries it inflicted her.

Hopper silently suggested that they bring her with them to a nearby house as they were too exposed, so he detached their fingers intertwined together and carried Eddie towards the woods, and tried his best to pay him the respect and rest he deserves, even in death. Steve insisted on carrying her even though his leg hurt from the additional weight he carried, it felt like he carried the remorse he felt, like he deserved it.

Mike had gone to Dustin to help him up, he gently walked him back to the group and they followed Steve to the house he was walking to. Will was fast to open the door and let everyone in, even if he wasn’t really sure what the plan was, but did anyone really know? 

Jonathan and Nancy had joined the group later and had discovered the scene, Steve’s arms circling around her knees and shoulders. Even if Jonathan had seen them holding hands as they arrived in Hawkins a few days prior, he could not stop thinking about how odd it was seeing them together. 

Nancy felt even more remorse over the entire situation, and over the fact that Jonathan had insinuated to abandon her when she was still alive and had a chance of surviving, even a small one, she felt like the worst friend ever. Jonathan recognised the mood change in her features and tried to hold her hand but she refused him, and with a glance he couldn’t recognise, she left ahead of him, catching up on the group, leaving him bereft.

Everyone followed Steve and Hopper as he walked straight for the living room, and lied her down to the closest couch, he didn’t really know what to do next, he wasn’t as skilled as her or Hopper, but he had watched her reanimate Eddie and tend to their wounds. 

Hopper saw the panic settled in in now knowing what to do and the what ifs, so he put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, “There’s not much we can do, apart from cleaning the wound and until she wakes, her best shot is getting out of this place, kid.” 

He silently agreed, nodded, then proceeded to do as advised with the best they had while Hopper instructed the others to find rooms to rest in as he and Joyce would take the first watch. 

Everyone scattered away, Hopper settled on the stairs, his eyes on both the front door and the living room, silently watching Steve clean the wound in silence. They had managed to find antiseptic soap, it was the best he could do as he got rid of all the dried blood around the wound to discover the skin around to be quite stiff and the tiniest bit warmer. It wasn’t good and he hoped he was wrong by assuming it was getting infected. 

Every now and then he would steal a glance toward her face to search for any signs that she was waking up or uncomfortable, in pain. He understood how she was still alive, she was losing blood in such a slow and steady rhythm she still had chances to survive.. for now. 

He observed her stomach rising and falling as she breathed, kneeled on the ground next to her, Hopper recognised that devotion, he sincerely hoped they would find a way quickly enough to get them both, as far as he knew, they deserved to get out and get their lives back far away from Hawkins, in them he saw younger Joyce and himself, back in high-school. 

Steve lowered his head, he hadn’t expected to be crying, the tears falling freely and soundlessly, the fear of losing her setting so deeply in his bones like never before, he couldn’t resist it, not stop it.

His hands held on hers’ tightly, intertwined their fingers. 

He brought the back of her hand to his lips, chaste pecks on her skin, closed eyes, tears getting caught on her knuckles. “You can’t leave me, please, please, wake up. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you don’t.” 

Her name fell from his lips like a plea, like a prayer. His whispers were so low he was barely able to listen to himself. He kept pleading silently until he had no tears left to cry, under Hopper’s very discreet eyes. 

He keeped one of her hands as he used his backpacks like a pillow, their intertwined hand close to him as he fell asleep out of complete exhaustion, into pure darkness. 

A detail none has seen yet due to the important lack of light and the general sense of panic and survival, is that through her shut tight eyelids, one could see her eyes flutter endlessly under the lids, the same way Max had when Vecna was infiltrating her mind. 

She opened her eyes and she was surrounded by complete darkness, alone, so soundless it felt deeply unsettling. She looked around, it was just darkness beyond sight, not a sound, only some light where she stood and it seemed to follow her, she didn’t understand. 

Expecting pain as she walked but she didn’t feel any, so she looked down at her body, to her surprise, she looked as if she hadn’t gone through literal Hell. Not even a hint of blood, or inflamed and tugging skin around the bruises and wounds, she didn’t have the small piece of wood impaled in her abdomen, her clothes were intact. 

Her long sleeve shirt was in one piece, as if she didn’t have a thousand cuts all over her body from the running, falling and trying to survive to monsters. 

It didn’t match real life, so she wondered, quietly but in confusion, 

“Am I dead? Is this.. Is this what death looks like?” 

Thinking of death, “Eddie? Are you there?” 

She was answered with silence, only her own voice and its echo fading through the darkness. 

“I don’t understand. I’m not supposed to be stuck here, am I? What’s this?,” She thought out loud, and as she realised that she may be stuck here with no way out for eternity, she felt her heartbeat moving higher against her thorax, her hands turned into fists.

The panic in her body turned a dial up as she heard footsteps coming towards her, and turning around, she was met with eyes the same colour as hers’. 

Goosebumps travelled along her body as her eyes and brows widened in shock, she was stuck in her movements, paralysed like. 

The body moving to her had gotten closer, facing her completely, she looked at her own reflection, same height, same hair texture and colour, body type, clothes, except, her look alike had the appearance of someone who tried to survive the Upside Down for a couple of days.

Her hair was unravelled, some strands stuck in dirt and clumps of blood, her skin and clothes underwent the struggles of her misadventure, cuts through her legs, torso, arms and face. The small piece of wood or whatever it was, impaled in the low side of her abdomen, she couldn’t see them, but she knew where the bruises were and how tensed and pained her skin around those wounds were. This was—is— her. 

She stood in front of her reflection, but it wasn’t motionless, she had walked, she was blinking, looking at herself, a smirk pulling on her lips.

Minutes passed as she needed to compose herself, she wanted to flee so badly but she knew she couldn’t even though she didn’t understand what was happening. 

In one desperate move she looked down at her hands, the bottom of her jeans, it was then that she saw her misadventure in the Upside Down on herself, the cuts, on the skin, through the clothes, the aches in her body from all the running, the bruises, the pain came back like she was struck by lightning and when she looked up, her alter ego had disappeared, she was alone. 

She was in complete solitude, tiniest bit of light around her whenever she moved, with nothing but a disturbing silence as a companion. 

Steve was shaken awake by a strong pair of arms, accompanied by Hopper’s voice to summon him awake, he didn’t understand anything at first, his mind so groggy he felt like he was drunk, then, what Hopper told him jolted him awake, “She’s awake, kid.” 

He immediately sat up and turned to her, inspecting her in anticipation. She remained lying down on the couch he had put her in, blinking away her confusion, he was eager, desperate, to hear from her, he squeezed the hand intertwined with hers’, it got her attention and she turned her head to him, a frown appearing on her brows. 

Submerged by two existing identities —hers’ and the Mind Flayer— she struggled to recognise the place and the people surrounding her, and Steve seemed to understand it as the confusion didn’t part from her face, looking at the three faces in front of her, Hopper, Joyce and Steve’s. 

The two adults didn’t know her enough to know that it was unusual, maybe she had fallen on her head multiple times and she was concussed, or the multiple injuries plus the emotional struggle of it all could lead to some kind of amnesia but Steve knew better, or, suspected better, he chose to put it aside and not bring it up now. 

She asked where she was, what was happening, she didn’t seem to remember anything it’s only when Steve recalled the weeks past events’ she seemed to remember some, then it clicked for Joyce, this kind of amnesia, the hesitancy, the stress in remembering past and present events, she knows it well because she’s seen it in Will back at the lab, when the Mind Flayer launched an attack, using Will as a spy. 

The similarities were so strong, it felt like déjà-vu. 

From the deepest corners in her mind that the Mind Flayer has infiltrated she had access to everything the creature wanted her to see and know, instructing her with one task, but she didn’t know what it was. 

It felt like going into a room without knowing why she came there. 

Sat side by side on the sofa, Steve couldn’t stop keeping his eyes on her. He knew something was off, it didn’t feel like she was there, like she was distracted, evasive, it didn’t feel like her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joyce taking Hopper by the elbow to pull him aside, whispering things, he glanced once their way and he knew instantly they were talking about her. 

Hopper looked away as soon as he saw Steve catching him, frowning. 

He was about to stand up and join them when she sighed loudly, one glance back towards her and he saw her hands entangled deep in her scalp in frustration, almost pulling at the root, her back completely backrested, her eyes set on the ceiling covered in vines. 

Steve’s voice pulled her out of the spinning wheels turning in her brain, as she let go of the root of her hair, Steve’s hand met in the middle and caught it, intertwining their fingers together, his eyes widened the moment he touched her skin and realised she was cold.

He brought himself closer and took both her hands in his, his thumbs ran around her wrists, “Do you feel cold ?”

Her brows frowned furthermore, there was some kind of latence in her answer as she didn’t really know if she felt cold or not, “No, I— I feel..,” she paused, her throat was sore from all the screaming and shouting she had done. 

Trying to clear her throat, she continued, her voice weakened and a bit hoarse, ”I don’t feel cold or hot, I feel so.. eerie. Like I’m not even here. Like I’m.. dying on the inside.”  

Steve closed his eyes for a few seconds as he tried to process what she was saying, his suspicious were rising alarmingly high, but when he opened his eyes he saw she had her turned her head towards the windows, following her gaze, he saw the Mind Flayer stood at the complete opposite side of town, far away, but he kept looking back and forth between her and noticed that its’ head had moved towards them. 

Goosebumps and chills rose along his body, his gaze focused solely on her, one final glance to the creature when he saw its’ head moving back to the position it had, overlooking the city, then one glance at her, she had such a passive expression in her eyes that he couldn’t recognise. 

Almost in sync, as she closed her eyes the most intense, piercing guttural shriek echoed in town, eyes revulsed behind her eyelids, Steve began panicking, shaking her arms, strong grip on her shoulders, her body was stoic, and he had flashbacks of Max and Nancy going through the same episode. 

Talking loudly than he thought, he shouted her name, getting even closer, practically straddling her as her head fell back, and with two firm hands he held her cheeks and tried to get her to wake, with no success. 

The monstrous shriek and Steve practically shouting her name, it had woken up everyone sleeping and brought Hopper and Joyce as soon as they noticed Steve moving on the couch. Everyone’s attention filled the room with so much noise it created nourished the stress and panic deep beneath him, soonly the excruciating noise in the room was quieted down by more guttural shrieks coming from outside. 

The movement of panic grew stronger and finally, someone thought aloud that their best choice was to leave now or all their chances of surviving would be close to none —which was already the case. 

That made Steve’s muscles tense, he finished letting her head fall gently on the cushion, he turned around, his eyes darkened and his face looked so tense that no one knew what to expect.

Nancy hadn’t expected Jonathan to propose such a thing, her head turned to him, shock evident on her face.

Steve wasn’t so surprised, “Again with the leaving people behind? People that aren’t close enough to you, that is. Please go, be the first to be eaten, pulled apart, whatever they do with you, I don’t give a fuck.” 

“No, no one’s going anywhere, you listen to me? No one’s leaving anyone behind,” Hopper’s voice tried to be stern but everyone’s patience was running low, it allowed more recklessness too. 

“So what, we’re supposed to stay here and wait until she wakes up when we know that we are going to be dead staying here, I’m supposed to wait for her when I know that the more we wait, the more we are targets!”

“Jonathan, she deserves the same chances as us to survive, we’re not leaving her behind, this is insane.”

“Nancy, this is life or death, the choice is pretty simple, we’ve already lost so much time, we can’t allow ourselves to lose more.”

“I know this is life or death, should I remind you we’ve all been through this for years, I know that you’re scared, I am too, but punishing her when she could survive too is just not okay! She got involved mere weeks ago by getting pulled in by a Demobat’s tail, she survived on her own here without knowing anything and she found us when we got stuck too. She could have left then but she stayed and she fought Vecna with us, almost dying countless times, she’s helped Max and she fucking reanimated Eddie the first time around, she’s not getting anywhere without us! I owe it to her to not leave her behind like I did for Barb!” 

She could only listen to what was happening around her, it gave her a bitter sensation in the back of her throat, but experiencing such.. vulnerability and inaccessibility in her own body and not having full control, it was insanely uncomfortable. 

She remained stoic, not daring to move, listening to everything that happened, in the blink of an eye, she found herself to be plunged in complete darkness, then, after a few seconds, she heard footsteps, the lights above her started flickering and she realised she wasn't in complete darkness anymore. 

She found herself to be in some corridor, evidence of a previous fight on the bloodied walls and the cracked tiles. She turned her body to the sounds coming from a man walking towards her, his pace confident, arms behind his back, dirty blond hair and entirely dressed as someone that came out of an asylum or some lab. She didn't know who it was, but she had a strong suspicion about his identity.

She was too shocked and frightened to form a sentence, the man resembled nothing like the descriptions she’s had from her friends. 

The light above kept flickering which allowed their surroundings to move to a darker but lengthier space, darker tiles on the walls and on the ground, with turned off lights on a spherical shape on a corner, but she focused on him, straightening her body and planting her feet in the ground. 

It indicated to him she knew how he was, she was on the defensive, which didn't matter that much as he was already infiltrating her mind. 

“If you don't wake up you and your friends will die,” his voice wasn't at all like she expected, it was soft, it didn't hold any roughness or threats, it warned her though.

Frowning, she didn't understand the situation, she struggled to form words, so he continued, “The clock is ticking.” 

His head moved slightly, he looked at her up and down, his chin down to analyse her posture and a weakness point, then chin up, he tightened his arms behind his back, focusing on the task at hand, his only chance.

She noticed and followed his gaze, body still planted on the ground, hands curled in fists, being studied so closely confused her at first, for someone who had thought of every possible outcome, who had thought of his plan to invade Hawkins, he seemed rather clueless. Making up his plan as it went on. 

 “I understand your suspicion, but I could help you.” 

One of her eyebrows raised in surprise, but she kept her mouth shut, having not a clue what she was doing but still resisting, however she could.

 He started moving towards her, only to pace in circles around her, slowly, he stopped behind her, an arm’s length from her, he paused for quite some time, which almost made her turn around, “I do not understand.”

 His voice has gotten harsher, his patience has worn down, “You think you can resist me, or him?” 

 Confusion struck her, what the hell did he mean by him? What was this? Who was he referring to as him?

 He completed his circle and arrived by her eye level, their eyes connected, she could read determination on him, the wheels spinning behind those blue eyes. 

“He won't be as merciful, your only way out is with me.” 

She kept her eyes fixed on him, she could read so much on him now that she had struck a nerve being silent and resisting, which allowed her to make a wild guess, “You're on your own.” 

He tried to not let his surprise show but the frown that appeared on his face could not be missed, “Only people that are left mending for themselves can be so desperate and reckless.” 

The Mind Flayer, “He’s given up on you, and you're left mending for yourself. If you wanted to kill me you already would have done so. So what's your purpose in this?” 

He tilted his head, the frown he wore indicated to her that she was correct, and he wasn't just impatient now, but mad as hell to have been figured out.

 “I spared you–”

 “No, you can't kill me, you’ve resorted to gaslighting and tormenting. But why?” 

The façade slowly started melting off as he grew angrier, the white outfit swapped for his disfigured rotting body, his voice distorted. Their surroundings changed to a field of floating parts of a destroyed house, red mist swallowing the ground.

Moving forward, new parts of his body were revealed, newly burned off parts, gaping holes in his chest, how he was still alive was profoundly shocking to her.

“You're hiding,” only a whisper that escaped her lips as she studied their surroundings, “..and hurting.. you're..–” 

He tilted his head, and she switched her attention on his face closer to her, his eyes were the deepest shade of blue, like the deepest regions of an ocean, where the light can barely escape, darkness only reigns.

“You're dying, and you're left mending for yourself,” she paused, she had no idea where all this courage came from to reveal his truth, where all that clairvoyance came from, “So, you're stalling.” 

Out in the open, he couldn't fathom how she had understood, “You're left so weak you can't even kill me. Why would you stall if he’s abandoned you?” 

He wasn't as defenceless as she thought him to be, with a grunt she saw his eyes close, and unexpectedly complete darkness surrounded her, she couldn't see anything, as if she were blind. 

She felt deeply uneasy the more she stayed in complete darkness, wishing she had shut her mouth. If he was going to kill her, she hoped it would be quick.

Given the alarming number of roaming creatures outside and some questionable sounds coming from them– the fact that they couldn't recognise what those creatures were, sent shivers down their spine, it completely terrorised them, it could only mean that something new was outside– they decided to split up. 

The pressure kept rising and rising and Hopper ended the argument by agreeing to split up, even though it killed him because he hated that idea.

The thing is, the groups were heavily uneven, only Nancy chose to stay with Steve, Joyce was staying with Hopper, Will and El stayed with their parents, Mike followed El, and Dustin was too vulnerable on his own with the crutches to stay in a much smaller group.

Steve retreated back to her, sitting on the cushion sideways to her, he grabbed her hand, hoping it would help him calm down his anger. 

He completely ignored the sounds of them getting their equipment and Hopper calling Nancy to share some with her, more ammunition, pocket knives, lighters, and tiny bottles of liquor.

She watched them leave, guns and makeshift weapons in hands, Dustin in the middle of them to assure his safety, until they were completely out of her eyesight, then her head turned to Steve, his back to her.

Nancy feared his mood wouldn't help them develop a plan to get out, but they needed to elaborate one, quickly, so, trying to ignore the worrisome shrieks from outside, she cautiously stepped towards Steve.

She sat on the ground, facing him, her head levelling with Steve’s lover, quietly observing her face, how her eyes kept moving back and forth, witnessing she was somewhere they couldn't join. 

“She’s getting colder, I don't know what to do to rid her of him,” Steve let out quietly, like a secret he could finally let out.

Nancy’s head turned to him, frowning.

“I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know how everyone would react to it, probably the same as what happened, but–,” he paused, a brief glance towards her, not yet sure if he could say it, but what would she do? Throw a tantrum? Too late for that.

“I’m almost sure she’s.. The Mind Flayer has her, the same way he had with Will. She was awake before we all heard that terrific shriek, she felt.. off, like she wasn't with us, she didn't feel how cold she is, and it may be my head but, I feel like she’s colder.” 

She nodded, and immediately her brain thought of a way to make it out, wheels spinning on end, until Steve’s voice broke it all up, “To be honest, I’m aware I’ve doomed us all, I didn't think anyone would second me I thought I would.. die alongside her.” 

Shock blew on her face, her eyes moved to his face, his head low, searching for his eyes she tilted her head to the side, “Steve..” 

Deep in his eyes was sadness, and desperation, nothing she would have expected from him, she was stunted, shocked. His eyes trailed back to her, his thumb mindlessly caressed her cold skin. 

Their plan was quite simple, Steve would carry her and Nancy would go first, gun in hand, and they would travel small location to small location, not more than a block away to make sure they could attempt to hear or see their enemies, try to, at least. 

Nancy made sure she had enough ammunition in the pockets of her jacket, along with a pocketknife, she gave one to Steve and hid one in the upper pocket of her jeans.

Out of curiosity, and because she hadn’t dared to previously, Nancy held her hands and realised how cold she was, she also realised she had never properly inspected her injuries, she hadn't acknowledged what had happened to her.

She could see the multiple cuts through the materials of her long sleeve shirt and her jeans, but the worst injury was the one on her abdomen, she hadn't realised it was that bad, of course she had seen but.. she hadn't paid attention given everything that happened.

She pulled up the shirt, she let out a gasp when she saw the rawness of her injury and Steve cleaned it the best he could, the skin around was inflamed, swollen, and mostly fresh blood around the piece of wood impaled, but it kept the blood loss controlled.

One thing she wasn't sure though, were the jet black veins exiting the wound, calmly she called for Steve, who had been in the kitchen looking for more supplies. You never know.

He was about to ask but he saw, and the answer to his doubts were there, she was taken by the Mind Flayer, it resembled everything they had seen in Will, another shriek echoed through the city.

 “We have to hurry,” Steve briefly whispered and hurried himself to put on his jacket, his backpack followed, Nancy copied him, taking off the security on her gun, she opened the door as silently as she could, stepping carefully outside.

One hand holding a flashlight, the other hand holding her gun, she stepped cautiously through the porch as Steve held her, one arm wrapped under her knees, the other under her back.

He followed her carefully, arriving first to the store they had scavenged, a ten minute break later –inspecting their surroundings and planning as soundlessly as they could.

They continued like this without any encounters, house after house after house until they heard human screams and more guttural shrieks.

It wasn't just human screams, pained screams and warnings to run off.

Nancy recognised Jonathan’s voice in the lot, paralysed on the spot she was caught between helping them or staying with Steve. She turned to him, and he knew immediately what she was about to do, he didn't even wait for her to speak, he walked towards the nearest house to hide.

He heard Nancy run off to where the screams came from, getting closer to the door he hoped to be able to touch the handle with her in his arms, but he didn't even have the time to, she started convulsing in his arms.

“No, no, no, no!,” not as silent as he hoped to be, but to be able to carry her inside he had to force his way in, not exactly subtle, but his only choice.

So he forced the door open with his leg and rushed inside, he hid upstairs, closed all the doors, because he knew that every creature around had heard him barge in and rush upstairs.

He tried his best to keep her on her side while she was convulsing, as silent as possible, he prayed to God they wouldn't be found, eyes closed, hands tightly holding her body, he hoped. 

When the darkness completely surrounded her, she knew something was coming but she hadn't expected to be tormented by sounds only in complete and utter nothingness.

He had pulled out everything that's been hurting her for the past couple of months, hearing it made the memories come back and reliving them was torture. He knew what he was doing. 

The bullying, gaslighting, the jealousy, self esteem at its lowest, the people pleasing, diminishing herself, how she’s been harming herself on all levels and coping in unhealthy ways.

Every voice that spat venom at her face resurfaced, making her try to scream above those voices to make it all stop.

Covering her ears with her hands wasn't working, she could still hear everything, seconds turned into minutes, into how long it had been.

On her knees, her forehead and her arms touching the ground with her hands tightly put around her ears, she has completely turned into herself. 

She hadn't realised that it had stopped, she could still hear it, feel those words as if they were snakes crawling their way in her brain.

She let out a breath of relief when she finally realised that silence surrounded her, the muscles in her arms aching, now all her body screamed for a chance to let go, that it’s had enough, and her mind agreed. 

She’s had enough.

She opened her eyes but her eyelids were heavy, when she looked around herself she didn't recognise where she was, her jeans and arms were wet from the grass, she was in the woods.

She completely sat down, turned her upper body around so she could take a glance at her surroundings, grass, trees, there was a form a few feet from her, but she could hardly see what it was.

She got up, holding onto a tree next to her as her vision got blurry, she closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath, when she felt capable enough she walked towards the ambiguous form.

It was a handmade wooden castle, “Welcome all friends” and “Castle Byers” written on the front in yellow. She passed through the tarp, and a gasp left her mouth as soon as she saw him.

“So, this is where you're hiding,” a voice that resembled hers said, but it hadn't come from her own mouth, turning around she saw her alter ego leave as quickly as she came in. Turning inside the makeshift castle, she looked one last time at a very weakened, rotten and rotting body of Vecna, seemingly taking his very last breaths until the scenery floated away like a candle’s flame blown off.

Steve waited, and waited, her body had stopped convulsing just moments ago, he had left her when he was sure she was still breathing.

Trying to be aware of every sound he could make, he opened the door to the bedroom he stayed in, pocket knife in hand, but he heard nothing.

He tried his luck and went back inside to carry her downstairs, cautious on the steps, he put her down on the sofa and rushed to the windows. He saw Demodogs and Demobats roaming around, but the screams had gone, and with Nancy not returning.. he would rather not think of that.

His only hope was resting on the couch and.. and she was waking up, he couldn't believe it. 

He rushed to her side, she was blinking away her confusion, he pulled up her shirt to look at the wound and the black veins were still there, they had retreated a bit though.

As he was about to rapidly explain what had gone and what they needed to do, a violent shake broke through the earth, followed by the sound of something exploding.

Just a turn towards the sound and they saw bombs exploding, falling down like rain.

He rushed her up, with a strong grip around her waist he ran off outside through the back door that led to the edge of the woods.

Together they sprinted off away, doing their best to avoid any bombs, he heard some creatures following them but they were killed off easily as the hive mind worked its way until he brutally realised that she was part of it too as she fell unconscious on the ground.

Until the very end he would stay with her.

He doesn't realise when he falls unconscious too, he only knows that he’s an arm’s length from her.. as long as he dies alongside her..

There was nothing around her, not a sound, not a weird looking ego, not Vecna to torment her.

Just, back at the starting point, with nothingness and an uncomfortable silence surrounding her. 

Her arms closed off, tight around her body to try and warm herself a bit, she kept walking around nothingness. 

She wondered if she was going to be stuck in there forever, does she want to go back to Steve? Does she want to go back at all? 

She truly didn’t know, she didn’t know if she had the choice, but if she had it, would she return back to Hawkins? 

She didn’t have time to ponder the question really, because she joined the darkness within, and shortly after, she was back in her unconscious body, lying on the ground, fire spreading as the US army was gaining ground in the Upside Down, with it, bombing kept going, as it’s the only weapon they possessed that would work. 

Eradicate it all with fire— were the final words left from Dr Owens’s lips as he too, joined nothingness after being tortured for what felt like eternity, he had given nothing, not a single thing about Eleven or anything that he knew, except how to kill it. 

Bodies defenceless, they could only hope they would either survive together or die together. 

Do not forget to reblog and comment, I would love to know your thoughts, it's incredibly lonely being a writer!!

-> pt. nine

tags (of the prequel and/or people who liked the masterlist) : if you’d like to be tagged, let me know in my inbox  @freezaz123 @ihavebecomesomething @aphetropy @sigh-mon-reads @madaboutjoe @mystic-writings @333starbride @seatnights @gabby123rocks @hauntors @ourprisma @hollandweather @we-out-here-simping @cupofjoekeery @seatnights

(mutuals that might be interested let me know if not): @strangerquinns @stiles-o-dylan24 @bffysummrs @teen--marvel @stevesxyellowxsweater

[jaeger-soul]

i just wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone that's ever read stay or popped into my inbox to say something nice about it. writing is really, really, really hard. like, it's fun, and i love it and i'm grateful that i have loyal readers both in fanfiction and other avenues, and i can't believe i actually get to do this every day, but... realistically, writing is hard.

you're balancing characters and their goals alongside themes and internal conflicts and often times romantic subplots (for me anyway) and OTHER subplots that tie into the main plot and it's... it's all a lot. but i know this is what i was always meant to do, and i'm so grateful that i get to do this and my confidence has definitely skyrocketed since the warm reaction stay has received over the years

i haven't forgotten about an update, i know i owe you all something soon. i had hoped for halloween, but honestly, life has been really chaotic. like... the most chaotic time ever. and nano's around the corner and the whole of november is jam packed sooo... at this point, i'm hoping to update around christmas. truth be told, the chapter's not ready. and i've said it a thousand times but it bears repeating, you deserve the best i can bring this story. you've stuck with it, you deserve more than something rushed just to get an update out on time. i refuse to compromise the quality of a chapter when I know I can do it right given time

i just wanted to pop on here and gush a little over all of you that have supported me all these years. i doubt any of you truly realize what your kind and constructive comments and reviews have done all these years. truly, from my whole heart, thank you 🤍

tl;dr: writing is HARD but you guys are AMAZING!! :D

[taegularities]

heyyy!! so I've been a fan of yours since forever 💜💜 i just wanna say that I've read almost all of your works🫣

but I've also been so busy lately, i still haven't read the latest chapter of cmi!!💔 would it be too much if i ask for a recap?

hey hey! gosh yeah, i see your reviews and lovely messages. makes me damn happy that you enjoy my stuff 🤍

take your time with the latest chapter! cmi6 is still gonna take a bit. i once recapped all chapters before, here — but i can copy paste everything into this ask, too.. for new readers/followers 🥰

cmi1: you and jungkook have been friends for some time, but fuck buddies for longer. you didn't think the overbearing strictness of your parents could ever become bad enough for you to try and dodge arranged marriage proposals – and how do you do it? of course by striking a deal with mr. jeon: you'll pay for his arts equipment and whatever an artist may need, if he plays your fake boyfriend.

cmi2 – outlines: jungkook and you become gradually closer, learn more about each other as time passes. he realises you're not just a rich brat who drowns in the things he does to you in bed. and you realise that his thoughts go deeper than you ever expected. the friendship seems to bloom beautifully, until you cross paths with journalists and read a godforsaken article about your cheap relationship with jungkook just a day later.

cmi3 – layers: the article affects the both of you more than you want to. you confront your mother, tell her to take care of all this. at the same time, jungkook's eyes become more tender when he looks at you. suddenly, people start fading for you around him, even when you're in a jam packed club with your friends, celebrating graduation. when another woman flirts with him, you don't quite like it – which he makes good again through his touches in your inebriated, playfully bantering state. but when he reveals that he'll leave for his hometown and vacation for a whole month? your heart breaks in a way it really shouldn't.

cmi3.5 – too much: jungkook seems to like sex toys. but he also seems to like you. which he proves with his touches, gazes and the conversation that follows.

cmi4 – lights: jungkook's absence affects you like a bitch. but thankfully, this century allows you constant messaging, phone and video calls. constant updates keep you happy and satisfied, even when your parents pull down jungkook's existence in your life again. even when you meet the man you were supposed to marry, making you miss your pretend boyfriend harder. is it really all still pretend, though? through his words seeps affection that doesn't feel harmless anymore. especially when he comes back and your heart bursts, happy to have him back – scared to know what secrets he's keeping to himself.

cmi5 – the canvas

🤍

[the-writing-mobster]

I have to know about 12. Please?

Thank you for the ask, Dear Heart! 🖤🤍🫰

---

Number 12 is if I outline or not — The answer is undoubtedly YES.

Please note the following message is for people who want to take their writing seriously. My opinions aren't for people who are just doing this for funsies. You do whatever you want, but for those who love writing and want to be great at writing not just for themselves but for others as well... This is for you~

This might be a tough pill to swallow but I believe that writers who don't outline have more of a chance of burning out and dropping projects than authors who do outline. Outlining is ESSENTIAL to being a successful and diligent writer.

I used to be a pantser myself and it resulted in many abandoned WIPs, plot holes, continuation errors, forgotten characters / character arcs, etc etc,,,

Now that being said, some fics I have right now aren't diligently outlined. “Baby Face” for example doesn't have an extremely strict outline that I've written down,,, but it DOES have a structure and a plot that I'm following to a tee (with a little bit of room for lulls in the plot, fun misadventures, etc) Also I know exactly how it ends. If you don't outline, but you want to take your writing a bit more seriously AT LEAST know how it ends.

Now for my bigger fics like “What Do You Want” and “You're What I Want” — The Outlines were VERY NECESSARY. Those are fics jam-packed with extremely complex plot and characters arcs with very little wiggle room for straying chapters and plotlines. If I didn't have an outline for those fics I would've burned out ages ago and they definitely wouldn't be as good.

My outlines certainly evolve, I don't just stick to the first outline I ever draft, I usually have multiple outline stages where I iron out all of the kinks. Once I find the perfect plotline I usually stick to the outline pretty religiously and maybe afterwards I'll move some chapters around and restructure some of the chronology to make it better and more coherent.

I'd love to expand more on my writing process, but this is getting a little long, so if you want to know more about my process, go ahead and drop something in my inbox for follow ups. 🥰🫰🤍🖤

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