#jake the human demon 25 year old

[springy1000]

So @kubarijo Told me I should do this meme, so I did it with my Character Jake and William Afton from my FNAF AU!

Oh and sorry for not saying this right away in my post, but my AU is named Broken Dreams!

So yeah here's the meme!

[j4gm]

Obsidian lore thread!

Sharing this thread of lore, episode connections, and Easter eggs from Adventure Time: Distant Lands: Obsidian, originally written for my Twitter.

SPOILERS AHEAD, WATCH OBSIDIAN ON HBO MAX IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

Keep reading for the full thread!

1) We've seen bombs scattered around the Land of Ooo before, but this is the first time we've seen the word "fission", confirming that they are nukes. Although we have seen the radiation roundel plenty of times so it's pretty obvious.

2) The "magic lightning" that created the Glass Kingdom could itself have been one of the nukes. Alternatively, it could have been the catalyst comet, although Finn has no connection to this place so that's probably not the case.

3) The subtitles for the first four minutes video suggested that Glassboy was saying "crap" here. However, the HBO Max subtitles confirm he is actually saying "crack".

4) All of Marceline's classic furniture is present, but Bubblegum's influence is very visible; a doily on the couch, a flask underneath, new barstools from the Candy Kingdom, and the pink lamp in the bedroom, just to name a few examples.

5) Lady Rainicorn slippers. That is all.

6) Chocoberry on the cover of a magazine. Looks like she's been dipped in white chocolate for this shoot.

7) This is the first time we've seen Choose Goose since he appeared as "Achoos Goose" in the Elements miniseries. Last time we saw his normal form was all the way back in season five's "Blade of Grass", nearly seven years ago. Is it weird that Choose Goose was the first thing in the episode to make me cry?

8) It appears that Princess Bubblegum has not rebuilt the Gumball Guardians since they were destroyed in the battle against GOLB.

9) There are lots of familiar candy people in and around the tavern, from a variety of seasons, including Kenneth, Dirt Beer Guy, Cherry Cream Soda, a Banana Guard 500, Lollipop Girl, and Smudge.

10) Simon is of course singing "Remember You". He is also using the omnichord that was used in that episode. Interestingly, this suggests he might remember some of his experiences as the Ice King.

11) This isn't the first time Dirt Beer Guy's tavern has hosted an open mic night. He also held one in "Son of Rap Bear", and even used the same banner, although it's looking a little tattered and worn out now.

12) Simon doesn't look any older than he did in the finale. This might mean that Betty's wish made him immortal, or it simply might not have been long enough for him to visibly age.

13) This is the oversized shirt given to Marceline by her father in the episode "Marcy & Hunson". It's looking a little faded these days.

14) Bubblegum's outfit is of a similar style to the one in "The Vault", but it's not the same. The fact she's not wearing her amulet might suggest this flashback takes place after "The Vault", but nothing is known for certain.

15) There are gravestones outside Marceline's house, but these actually aren’t new. They previously appeared in “Go With Me”. So don’t worry, these don’t belong to Jake or anything like that.

16) Simon's coping mechanism would be funny if it wasn't so sad. It's going to be a long time before he fully recovers. On a lighter note, the magnets on the fridge say "M PB" which is pretty cute.

17) This is our first time seeing the outside of Elise's van. We previously saw the interior in "Everything Stays". Also, we learned from the credits and subtitles that her name is Elise!

18) Previously, it wasn't known whether or not Elise survived the Mushroom War. Turns out she did... but not for long. It's also now unclear whether the flashback from "Everything Stays" happened before or after the war.

19) A nice little timeline detail: Marceline travelling with her mother for a while explains the awkward two year gap between the Mushroom War and the events of "Simon & Marcy".

20) Here's a comparison of the parts of Marceline's song that got corrupted into the current version. The Glass People got really obsessed with the idea of the song being about coconuts for some reason.

21) PB yelling "Scree!" to summon the Morrow is a callback all the way to the season two episode "Death in Bloom", which is when the Morrow made their debut.

22) Disease is added to the long list of things that helped wipe out humanity. I wonder if this disease is related to the one that Hugo and his crew gave to the grays in the BMO special. I also wonder if Marceline is immune thanks to her demon half.

23) The mutant puppy was able to say the word "wassup". Perhaps this is a halfway stage to the talking animals that now populate the Land of Ooo.

24) Turns out Marceline discovered her demon powers before she defeated the Fool. This is the first appearance of these kinds of soulless husks since "It Came From the Nightosphere" in season two.

25) This is the first new candy power we've seen Princess Bubblegum use since she learned how to create mints and soda in "Jelly Beans Have Power".

26) Marceline not caring about the glass people is very in line with her personality in the early seasons, such as when she was happy to let her father suck souls as long as she got her bass back.

27) No Easter egg here, just an extremely good image.

28) Here's the screenshot leaked by Adam Muto last month. Like the gas station in "Bonnibel Bubblegum", the graffiti here tells an interesting story. Seems like the Land of Ooo had a bit of a Mad Max phase while the humans were still around.

29) This is (as far as I know) only the second time an Adventure Time character has ever been shown bleeding. The first was the heart monster in "The Enchiridion", but that was a lot less realistic.

30) The fact that humans survived long enough to construct a whole Fallout-style bunker confirms that the near-extinction of humanity wasn't a quick process. It makes you wonder whether any other groups made it, besides the Islanders.

31) Apart from this being one of the darkest scenes in the entire show, I like the background detail of bank notes being used as toilet paper.

32) Marceline grew up blaming herself for her mother leaving, and says she is like her dad. It sounds like Elise has told Marceline a bit about Hunson Abadeer, and is scared and angry at him.

33) This actually isn't the first time Marceline's bass has been broken. She also snapped the handle during her fight with the Vampire King. However, it's never been completely shattered like this.

34) This might be a reference to the Hall of Egress. That's the only other time we've heard Bubblegum use that word.

35) Confirmation that Princess Bubblegum doesn't have bones. I guess that counts as lore?

36) The gag of the Banana Guards slipping over each other was also done in "The Thin Yellow Line" and probably some other episodes I'm forgetting.

37) Jake’s granddaughter Bronwyn is certainly an unexpected appearance. I wonder what affiliation she has with the main cast now?

38) And of course... FINN! I would estimate he's aged about five to ten years since the finale, but it's hard to tell with Adventure Time's style. He looks younger than he did in Puhoy's alternate future.

39) Lots of people have been theorising that the tattoo implies that something unfortunate has happened to Jake. Perhaps we'll get to know more about that in Together Again. Let's not dwell on it for now.

40) A canon origin story for the shirt, plus a Bubbline first meeting! This overrides the P.B. & Marcy comic, and re-contextualises a whole bunch of the old Bubbline episodes!

That’s all for now! Let me know if you can think of anything I missed!

[archivingspn]

2019: Twitter- Eric Kripke

therealKripke: “In honor of #SPN300, here's my original #SPN pitch from 2004. The pilot story is very different, but the tone always rang clear to me. Could never have imagined what this show became and the good it's done. Humbled and grateful beyond words to you all. #SPNFamily @cw_spn ‘[images of spn pilot’s 4pg script]’“ - 12:08 PM Feb 7, 2019

[source]

                                                                                                       1

Supernatural

Pitch by Eric Kripke August 30, 2004

I. TONE AND WORLD

In one sentence, this is X-FILES meets ROUTE 66. Two brothers, cruising the dusty back roads in their trusty 64 Mustang, battling the things that go bump in the night. But much more than that, it's a show about an obsession of mine...

Throughout the U.S., (especially the MIDDLE, where I'm from), we have a folklore, as uniquely American as baseball, as rich and varied as any world mythology, and almost nobody knows it. For instance, Robert Johnson sold his soul to the Devil, at an abandoned Mississippi crossroads, to be the world's greatest guitarist. But he died violently, poisoned at age 26, screaming about Hellhounds as he choked on his own blood. In the shadowy north woods of Minnesota, lives a creature named the Wendigo. Translated from Native American, it means "evil that devours.” It feeds on human flesh. And even today, dozens of witnesses say it's very real.

There are literally HUNDREDS of these stories and legends and urban legends. There are dark and dangerous things out there in the corners of our country. So here's a show that travels the diverse highways and byways of supernatural America. Black woods, ghost towns, those tourist trap mystery spots. Really, a show ABOUT our country-the bloody, beating heart of America.

Unlike X-FILES, this show isn't Vancouver rainy. It's brighter, more colorful, more VISCERAL, and more irreverent. The humor here is extremely important to me—but it has to arise from the characters and their attitudes. The characters can be funny, but the weekly stories have to be SCARY AS SHIT– I'm talking THE RING; how what you don't see is much more terrifying than what you do. I'm talking about making this series as scary as I possibly can, until you guys call and yell at me.

But I also want the tone to be GROUNDED. Where BUFFY, for example, felt HEIGHTENED, our show should feel like OUR WORLD, real-life America. With a darkness that bubbles and boils just beneath the surface. And I want to keep the weekly stories CREDIBLE- leave 'em with a question mark, the possibility of a rational explanation. Something early X-Files did very well.

Finally, I want this show to capture a certain SPIRIT. For one, that youthful electricity of dropping out and hitting the open road; the freedom of wide-open American spaces. But also, EVERY road trip story-from FEAR and LOATHING to Kerouac to The Odyssey, are inherently mythic quests, hero's journeys, real Joseph Campbell stuff. The way STAR WARS, LORD OF THE RINGS, and MATRIX are all the same story, with the same beats. So our series, too, is an epic hero's quest-- across the United States. Almost like a modern western, and our heroes are gunslingers. Or, as I like to call it - it's STAR WARS in TRUCK STOP AMERICA.

                                                                                                                2

II. CHARACTERS AND FRANCHISE

Now, let's get into establishing our characters, and launching our franchise.

So if this is STAR WARS, meet LUKE SKYWALKER. SAM HARRISON, 21. Think Jake Gyllenhall, or Tobey Maguire. Smart, funny, handsome, maybe a little type-A. He just graduated Stanford with a 4.0, and now he's heading back down to L.A., where he lives with his Aunt and Uncle, he'll spend the summer clerking at a powerful law firm. And in the Fall... Harvard Law, thank you very much. Pedal to the metal, Sam is cruising the track to success. But, like all good Luke Skywalker heroes, Sam is vaguely restless. He tells his girlfriend, maybe he should drop everything this summer and blow off to Europe. But of course, he doesn't. He has too many responsibilities.

Sam's well adjusted, successful life, it's a real triumph, especially considering his background. Fifteen years ago, his dad JACK became increasingly dark and depressed. He drank. A lot. Until Mom and Dad were in a car crash. Dad was driving. He lived. Mom didn't. That triggered a schizophrenic breakdown in Dad. He swore that twisted, dark, horrific things caused that crash and took Mom away. And those same dark things were chasing after him. Dad was institutionalized. But he escaped. And disappeared.

Sam is ashamed of his tragic past. Hates his Dad, blames him for killing Mom, and NEVER, EVER talks about it.

Now, Sam's mythic CALL TO ADVENTURE, the events that will change his life forever, begin simply enough. When his big brother DEAN rolls into town. Meet DEAN HARRISON, 25, think Colin Farrel. If Sam's the good kid, Dean's the troublemaker. If Sam's Luke Skywalker, Dean's Han Solo. Charismatic and dangerous. Cocky confidence masking a troubled soul. Sam hated Dad, but Dean was older and remembered Dad in brighter days, and he worshipped the man. Sam buried his past and ignored it, but Dean was haunted by it, never quite got his shit together. Dean never went to college. Just sort of traveled around. In fact, Sam hasn't heard from Dean in almost 3 years, which Sam clearly resents.

And now... Dean makes Sam a proposition. Let me drive you down to L.A.- it's just one day, we'll get a chance to catch up a little. Reluctant, Sam agrees.

At first, they're enjoying the electric, carefree pleasures of a ROAD TRIP. Top down, radio blaring, singing their lungs out to AC/DC.

But then... at twilight... on an empty stretch of highway... Dean's driving. And he has to make a confession. (Though I'm sure we'll break this up into a few different scenes.) "Sam. There's something I need to tell you," Dean says. “I went looking for Dad. And I found him. Took just about every dime I had, but I found him. And I've been with him, for almost 2 years." Sam is shocked and betrayed: "what?! Why didn't you tell me?!" But Dean continues: "listen. I know this is hard to believe. But Dad WASN'T nuts.

                                                                                                                    3

Demons really DID kill Mom. Dark, awful things WERE following Dad. I know. Because I can see them. Because they're following me, too."

Obviously, Sam is BEYOND freaked and well aware that schizophrenia is hereditary. Dean goes on, getting worked up-“so Dad figured out how to kill these things, and he showed me how. Until they caught up to us in Baker. They got Dad. Before I got them." "What do you mean, you GOT them?” asks Sam. “I killed a demon. In human form," says Dean. “You killed somebody?!" "No, I killed a DEMON, it only LOOKED human.” (Which could be a scary, visceral teaser, by the way.) Anyway, DEAN continues: “Listen to me, Sam... it was Dad's wish, his DYING WISH, that I find you, that I teach you the way he taught me.” At this point, Sam goes into placating, survival mode. “Okay. Sure. Just calm down." But Sam's terrified-of his own brother.

Meanwhile, as this conversation's going on, Dean isn't going to L.A. He takes a detour-- for all intents and purposes, kidnapping Sam. They pull into a small, faded, all-American town in Central California. It's 1950's American optimism gone to seed. Basically, they pull right into the pilot's SELF ENCLOSED B-STORY. Whatever it is, the story should be simple, giving us room to focus on the brothers. It should be based in Folklore. And it should be personal—the job their father never completed.

Now, here's an example of exactly the kind of story I'm talking about. The real life ghost story of the "Weeping Woman," a sobbing wraith in a bloody white nightgown. She murdered her children by the river side, as revenge against her unfaithful husband. And today, it's said she lures unfaithful men to the river and drowns them. And sure enough, several MEN in this town have turned up dead by the river's edge. Anyway, something like this. And Dean, despite his smart ass jokes and references to the movie Poltergeist, seems to be taking this SERIOUSLY.

But Sam doesn't believe a WORD of it. First moment he's alone, he calls his Aunt and Uncle. “I'm with Dean, I think he's sick.” They tell him—"cops in Baker found your Dad's body. And a truck driver's body, too. Dean's the suspect. You have to get away! Where are you?!” But before Sam can answer-he pivots, right into Dean. Who grabs the phone, SMASHING it, furious: “Dammit, Sam, I'm not insane," Dean says, “Caspar the unfriendly fucker is really out there!"

Then, as Dean delves deeper and deeper into the ghost story, dragging a reluctant Sam along with him... INEXPLICABLE SUPERNATURAL phenomenon begin to occur, which SERIOUSLY RATTLES Sam. We'll have several good, scary set pieces. And soon, Sam doesn't know WHAT to think. And in the B-STORY'S climax, he'll even save Dean at some crucial point. (Though we'll be careful to leave things open ended, with just the possibility of a logical explanation.)

Afterwards, a beat in which Dean, vulnerable, says to his brother-"I've been thinking. And you're going home, Sam. You're smart, and you've got everything going for you. I don't care what Dad said, I can't let you live like this... Still," says Dean, "it was nice having you around. When you're with somebody... you just don't feel as crazy as

                                                                                                                   4

often." Sam's very conflicted, and he feels awful, but he can't just abandon his old life. So the brothers part ways. Sam hitchhikes up the road. Meanwhile, thanks to his Aunt and Uncle, the cops have been searching for Sam, and now they find him.

At the station, Sam tells the cops, Dean's in Colorado by now. But a patrol car has spotted Dean's parked Mustang at a nearby motel. The police grab SHOTGUNS, they're going to take Dean with force. And in the face of ONE PASSING COP, Sam sees-a glimpse. A shimmer. Something DEMONIC and INHUMAN flashes across the cop's face-and then it's gone, just as quick. Did Sam imagine it? Is he going insane, too? Or is Dean really in danger? Are dark, awful things really after him, like he said?

This is Sam's crossroads moment. And he makes a decision-he takes off. Steals a car. Beats the cops back to Dean. Warns him at the last minute. It's very TIGHT and very HECTIC, but Sam and Dean get away. Escaping by the skin of their teeth.

As we leave Sam... he doesn't know if he's losing his mind. He doesn't know if Dean's a hero or a homicidal schizophrenic. All he knows is-Dean's his brother, and he needs help. And for now, that's enough.

III. THE SERIES ITSELF

I think the overall GOAL here, is building an engine that gives us SELF ENCLOSED STORIES. I am gonna pitch some very simple mythology, but STAND ALONES are a format I really believe in, they're the shows I loved and grew up on. Like the best EARLY episodes of X-FILES.

So basically, our two heroes, avenging their parents' death, cruise the golden backroads of America-picture chrome diners and bucolic farms and dusty Route 66 towns. Places that are mythic and American, but also haunting, in a way. Places where horror can strike in broad daylight. Sam and Dean are kind of like classic gunslingers, or dragon slayers, finding-and KILLING—the monsters of American folklore.

So first question-how do they find the damn things? Dean tracks these creatures in a low-tech way. He scans obituaries for strange deaths. Dean also has a loose network of contacts - defrocked ministers and trailer park psychics, who impart information to our heroes whenever necessary.

Second question-how do they KILL the damn things? The answer—they have no fucking idea. They're outgunned and desperate and in completely over their heads. They don't have a WATCHER, like in BUFFY. They don't have an OBI WAN. They're on their own. Each week, they gotta figure out what the hell they're dealing with, and how the hell to kill it. And a lot of the time, they're wrong, and they have to improvise. Whether it's finding a ghost's remains - and burning them into dust; or loading a shotgun with silver buckshot, our guys will do whatever it takes to get the job done.

[lonelyniights]

Indie roleplay blog for a little bunch of fandomless OCs tied to the supernatrual realm, written by Trice. Multiship, multimuse, multiverse, mun and muses are 25+.

muses: Kilian Grey (Adam Gallagher) - witch  Gill Lightwood (Froy Gutierrez) - vampire Dmitri Baranow (Phil Dunster) - vampire Ezra Bernard (Hale Appleman) - vampire Alexander Kalili (Mark Fischbach) - werewolf Ira Gallagher (Lee Pace) - gifted werewolf Jarael aka Jesse Kramer (Penn Badgley) - demon  Bruno Madrigal (Diego Luna) - seer  (Encanto canon) Camilo Madrigal (Noah Centineo) - shapeshifter  (Encanto canon) Kip Levesque (Jake Johnson) - human/seer Dr. Andrew Blaine (Bill Hader) - human Felix Richter (Dan Stevens) - human (Dead by Daylight canon)

the mun: Trice age: 27 years old timezone: gmt+2 experience: 15 years (11 on tumblr) language: german, english

Rules:

Don’t stress me over posts. It’s totally fine to message me, there is always the possibility that I missed a reply, but don’t spam my inbox about it. Sometimes I need time to reply, I may not always have muse for a thread, please give me time.

I am always up for plotting, don’t be scared to shoot me a message.

Even if we didn’t have a thread, don’t be scared to send me a meme-ask, I love them and they are amazing to start things.

Smut and adult topics are completely fine for me to be involved in the plots and replies, though, I feel most comfortable writing m/m smut.

I won’t always feel like writing smut, so don’t be upset when I skip it or offer another thread in the meantime for until I feel more like writing smut.

my ask and direct messages are open to non-mutuals for potential plots, though, I will keep the right to turn down rp-requests when not feeling the muses

I will only interact with muses that have a real-life-face

[the-wolfs-raven]

A Turbulent Past

This is a collection of stories from Tara’s past.  Specifically, some of them revolve around her interaction with or feelings about Varian, but many of them are before they met or during times they could not have interacted.

This is also a general timeline of Tara’s life as well as a massive WIP.  I’ll repost as I add more.

WARNING!!  THERE ARE MENTIONS OF SLAVERY, RAPE, CHILD LOSS, AND OTHER HEAVY TOPICS WITHIN THE LINKED POSTS.  PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Year -12,347

Shalandrala Winterscale is born.

Year -12,724

Though young, Shalandrala shows a particular affinity for arcane magic and garners the interest of Queen Azshara.  Over the next few centuries, she became a student and eventually a minor council beneath the Queen.

Year -10,000

Shalandrala leads a group of rebels against Queen Azshara and gains the respect of those who followed her.

Year -9,351

Shalandrala Winterscale leads her followers north into the Tranquil Glades, migrating from the ruined city of Zin-Azshari and away from the corruption caused by Queen Azshara.

Year -7,300

Construction begins on the hidden halls of Cartouche following word of Malfurion’s exile of magic-wielding elves.  A great font of power is hidden deep beneath the land above, birthed from a vial of water from the Well of Eternity.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175243009106/welcome-to-cartouche

Year -6,927

Mythsaerin Winterscale is born to Shalandrala, and his father leaves the encampment shortly after, never returning.

Years -6,800 to -50

The elves of Cartouche have developed a druidic society above the earth to live in harmony with their kaldorei kin.  Below the Tranquil Glades, however, study and use of arcane magic, as well as many other schools, takes place.  During these long years, small explorative parties travel the world to collect more knowledge for the thriving hidden society.

Year -49

The font of power in Cartouche begins to wain and solutions are being sought.  By the end of the year, it is decided that baring a half-human child would give them the innate advantage which elves possess over the arcane without the necessity to utilize raw magic to use their abilities, allowing said child to take care of more mundane tasks to preserve their reserve of magic, or perhaps even restore the font itself.

Years -45 to 2

Many women of Cartouche set forth to conceive their half-bred children.  Unfortunately, the rituals utilized to create the genetic balance have the unfortunate side effect of creating a weaker fetus.  Miscarriages and stillbirths are common, and over the course of these years, there is a distinct malcontent that grows against the once-beloved leader.

Year 3

After so many failures and with discourse spreading through her people, Shalandrala takes it upon herself to find a suitable sire for her own child, intent to give her life in order to create a viable life.

(This particular event branches off into two possibilities.  The first one involves her traveling to Dalaran and taking the company of a wizened, powerful mage.  (in-game canon)

The second, and more complex line follows her a bit earlier as she learns of the Guardian during one of her travels and takes it upon herself to visit Karazhan at the time that Medivh was hosting his grand gatherings (Year -18).  She was a particularly rare sight amongst the humans who had not yet traveled to Kalimdor.  As the years and pain passed through her people from the loss of so many children, she left Cartouche once more to seek out Medivh, determining that such a powerful magic-wielder would produce a strong enough child to survive birth.  During her return to Karazhan, however, she met the younger Khadgar and enticed the promising young mage into creating a child with her (using a ritual of which she did not reveal the specifics in her actions, only imploring to him that his help would aid her people)  Her interactions with Medivh also allows Sargeras the opportunity to plant a seed within her mind.  With Khadgar being under 18 (though an adult by WoW’s standards of the Age of Ascension) I thought it best to confine the creation of a child to an unknown ritual rather than through traditional means.  Though you could really interpret such a thing however you wanted, I suppose.  This particular line of thought came after my initial creation of Tara and the desire to put Khadgar in the place of her father.  And though I still prefer that, I’ve chosen to leave it out of her in-game canonical history to avoid further bending the lore, despite the legitimacy in this situation being a possibility (as opposed, say, to completely absconding with his character and timelines and taking further artistic liberties in his personality and what his actions might’ve been)  Though, I am of the mind that a young man, no matter how studious, might be easily swayed by the attention of a beautiful, intelligent, older presence in their life.)

Year 4

Tarvasha Winterscale is born and the core of her mother’s magical power is infused into her body in the form of an icy scaled crescent moon marked upon the infant’s hand.

Years 5-19

Tarvasha grows up studying various forms of magic and learning from the druids of the Glades.  The Highborne of Cartouche largely despise her existence as she is incapable of aiding them as was promised.  Utilizing any school of magic caused a drain on the girl’s life force, leaving her utterly useless to their plight.  Though they had, in their minds, a legitimate reason to hate the child, they largely blamed their ire on her mixed blood.  The only trait she shared with her elven kin was the length of her ears which were also static and hard, similar to the ears of a human.

Year 20

Tarvasha suffers her first heartache and decides to finally physically distance herself from her kin, cutting her ears and rounding them into a similar shape to humans.  Her mother finds her shortly after and the devastation in her heart allows her to become corrupted by the impending demons.

The Burning Legion invades the Tranquil Glades, killing most of the Highborne of Cartouche and forcing Tarvasha to flee her homeland.

After nearly two weeks putting distance between herself and the elven forests, she comes upon a desolate land─and runs straight into the arriving Orcs.  Oog’tar Snarllash bargains for her life and takes her as a slave in “payment” for keeping the others from simply killing her.

Years 21-25

Tarvasha is used as a pleasure slave and her surroundings and general situation deteriorate further as the years pass.  During this time, she loses several children in miscarriages, stillbirths, and due to birth defects resulting from the combination of her own mixed blood colliding with that of the various orcs and other races who paid for her as well as the unsanitary, destitute conditions in which she was kept.

Year 26

Tarvasha carried the deformed child of an orc who put the infant to death out of grief.  Her own grief overtook her and she went mad for a period of time.  Oog’tar sent her to the boar pit where she was to fight for freedom or die with honor.  She survived, only for another wave to be called by the dishonorable orc.

She was saved when a human slave stepped forward to call out the honorless act.  A gladiator by the name of Crocbait.

WARNING:  Mentions of slavery and child loss.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/187341255406/year-26

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/176612274221/a-look-into-the-past

Year 31

Tarvasha runs across Oog’tar during a trading venture to Orgrimmar  (Flashback to Year 24)

WARNING:  Mentions of slavery, rape, humiliation, violence, child loss. 

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/166478708241/a-ghost-of-the-past

Everything beyond the cut happened in various RPs

Year 32

The reemergence of Shalandrala Winterscale

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/164178266481/elune-help-meor-whoever-is-listening-argusthe

Tarvasha marries Jake Fletcher

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/164412095221/the-ceremony-had-been-so-beautiful-even-now-the

Tarvasha joins the Sisters in Sin

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/166068210961/an-indigo-envelope-stamped-and-addressed-to-the

Taria becomes pregnant

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/166393777861/thepalewolfhowls-the-week-had-started-with-a

Discorse and Divorce between Tara and Jake Fletcher

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/166601948271/a-lonely-soul

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/166749599216/sisters-in-sin-brothel-mistfall-village-pandaria

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/166818525191/lavender-scented-memories

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/167104979121/through-the-laughter-and-the-tears-it-was-almost

Blue Wolf Imports opens in Stormwind

Tarvasha stands against her mother

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/167492141106/if-i-share-this-with-you

Tarvasha becomes a Sister in the Sisters in Sin

Tarvasha falls for Baron Ren La’Vaye

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/169154775156/an-early-surprise-the-early-morning-light-peeked

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/169223574971/a-final-gift

Tarvasha retreats to Ratchet after suffering another heartbreak.  This time is far more literal and the process of utilizing magically infused crystals to maintain the health of her heart begins.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/170285799331/an-old-friend

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/170622416771/up-and-about

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/170776973376/forgotten-business

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/171299082761/possibilities-tarvasha-glanced-over-the-bundle-of

Shalandrala reappears, corrupted further by darker energies.  Tarvasha’s fire for life is reignited and the war against her mother begins again.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/170847554751/a-life-worth-living

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/172097507371/an-unexpected-flame

Tarvasha is approached by Demetrius Devereaux

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/171572961546/an-interrupted-reprieve

Some happy side tracking as Tara learns to ride a motorcycle

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/172065906356/the-familiar-growl-of-an-engine-caught-the

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/172170788236/a-nostalgic-evening-part-one

A Reconnection with The Unkindness

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/172574424956/dark-feathers

Tarvasha buries herself in distractions once again

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/174444927791/butteryplanet-my-cinemagraphs-on-instagram

Tarvasha and Jake Fletcher rekindle their relationship.

The Wolf’s Raven Lounge opens

Tarvasha becomes a grandmother.  Accalia Varia Steeltalon is born.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/174568854161/home-again

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/174602418441/the-longest-night

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/174607728141/thepalewolfhowls-in-the-soft-glow-of-morning

Tarvasha proposes to Jake Fletcher

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/174713616381/he-said-yes-jakefletcher

A Reconnection with the Comfort Wives

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175007937306/who-are-you

Tarvasha’s acquaintanceship with the House of Crows dissolves her relationship and she finds comfort in an old friend.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175147228836/a-tear-stained-letter

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175148217936/a-quiet-cabin

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175262631471/finding-the-words

Tarvasha’s bonds within the Crows begin to grow

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175190962956/who-was-he-to-judge-anyway-someone-who-took-an

Tarvasha reopens the halls of Cartouche for the first time in almost a decade and a half.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175203197091/lonely-moonlight

Drugs become commonplace in Tarvasha’s life

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175820835936/blissful-imaginary-lies

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/175826282516/the-dark-intermission

Darkness begins to take hold of her mind

Warning:  Thoughts of/attempted suicide, emotional distress

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/176007343881/tw-thoughts-ofattempted-suicide-emotional

Tarvasha begins dating Theodore Gorister

The Gilded Cage opens

Year 33

Tarvasha and Theodore are married, taking the surname Blackfeather.

Tarvasha begins her priest trials for the Church of Masks

Warnings: Gore, Mutilation, Cannibalism

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/178889562866/sinister-intentions

Tarvasha is abducted by Oog’tar Snarllash during a trading venture to Orgrimmar.  During this time, she undergoes extensive torture, leaving her nearly dead.  She is found by a pair of wandering shaman who restore her body entirely, washing away scars and restoring her long ears.

Tarvasha is taken by her mother and tormented in a void-like state for several weeks.

Morwen Blackfeather is born.

Warnings:  Depression, thoughts of suicide.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/181696429401/tw-depression-thoughts-of-suicide-everything

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/182225261086/anguish

Tarvasha once again seals Cartouche to protect it from her mother.

https://the-wolfs-raven.tumblr.com/post/182258900271/cartouche

Tarvasha learned of Theodore and Emilia’s relationship in a brash way.  Devistation took hold and she transferred the Rune of Winterscale to Taria, essentially ending her own life.  Though, unbeknownst to them, Tarvasha’s soul lingered on within the rune.

Shalandrala Winterscale uses the Crows to make another attempt to retrieve her power from Taria.  

[dcusrclicta]

Character Bios

Parenthesis means they have a Harry Potter AU verse 

Name: Severus Tobias Snape Year: Cute. House: Slytherin Blood Status: Befouler Antichrist Eye colour: Cobalt nowadays Age: Old enough to say no. Birthdate: 1/9 Height: 6′7 Patronus: Horned Viper Description: I still hate my job. I still hate people. I’m just immortal now. Please leave my office & don’t touch anything on your way out.

Name: Brittnay Matthews Year: College Junior (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Human (Pureblood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 21 Birthdate:  6/15 Height: 5′5 (Patronus: Pitbull) Description: Cross me & I’ll hurt you. Otherwise I’m Brittnay Matthews you’re new best friend. People think I’m arrogant but in reality they’re angry I’m better than them. I used to go to Overland Park high school. I’m glad I don’t anymore.

Name: Rhaegar Daeron Targaryen (Year: Graduated/Verse Dependant) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: ??? Eye colour: Violet Age: 34 Nameday: All I remember was being born in the high summer Height: 7’1 (Patronus: Hungarian Horntail) Description: I’m believed to be dead. Walking about when one is believed to be dead is actually quite boring no matter how much it may benefit the Realm. I do admit I made. Many mistakes however in my defence not all prophecies are interpreted in a straight forward manner. I did better than any of you would have in the situation so save your criticism for until you watch a man identical to you get his chest caved in by a war hammer.

Name: Lilith “Lily” Sophie Evans Year: Graduated/Verse Dependant House: Slytherin Blood Status: Demon/Witch Eye colour: Green/Blue/ Sometimes they go crimson. Age: Doesn’t matter. I won’t die. Birthdate: 1/30 Height: 5’3 Patronus: Bold of you to assume I have one  Description: My sister was right. I’m a freak. Even my parents saw something... Wrong in me when I was younger. They tried to pretend I was fine. ”Just a few odd occurrences here & there.” Until an older boy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself suddenly found that a hand could very easily be turned inside out. In the long run it was a good result. They found quite a bit of child pornography in his little hovel of a bedroom. My parents knew I did it but couldn’t quite figure out how until the Hogwarts letter came. They were both horrified & relieved. But to make a long story short. Once I met Severus Snape & we put our interest in the Dark Arts together... I got WORSE. & it felt good. I became addicted to the draw of dark magic, occult magic in particular & now Tom Riddle wants me to tell him what I said to Lucifer to get this new body. I might tell him if he begs in the right tone.

Name: Brahms Hillshire Blood Status: Half-demon Eye colour: Green Age: 16 Birthdate: Don’t care Height: 5′11 Description: I’m a child serial killer. I want to play around in your innards. & blood. I want to play around in your blood too.

Name: “Andrew” Antisepticeye McLoughlin Blood Status: Computer Virus Entity/Demon Eye colour: Lime Green Age: 29 (Existing for 3) Birthdate: 10/10 Height: N/A Description: It’s better if ya dun run. It’ll just drag et out. Plus sometimes ya lot chip my knife on one of yer stupid bones. & I dun really li’e runnin much ta be honest.

Name: Chase Brody Blood Status: Human Eye colour: Blue Age: 29 Birthdate: 4/11 Height: 5′10 Description: Hey bros! I’m Chase! Uh, some of ya already know tha! Anti brought me here! He said it’d be fun an’ I trus’ ‘im! I swear ‘e’s actually always been kinda nice ta me! Besides the ‘ole threatenin’ the kids thin’ but we’re frien’s now! He says he’ll teach me how ta shoot a real gun someday!

Name: Brian Griffin Blood Status: Dog(?) Eye colour: Green Age: ??? Birthdate: ??? Height: 6′4 Description: I used to be an alcoholic dog. Now I’m an alcoholic. Not much to say after something like that happens. I’m really confused to be frank. Maybe now I can actually get someone to take me seriously & publish my book.

Name: Carlos De Vil (Year: Sixth) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Half-demon/ Sorcerer Eye colour: Blue Age: 16 Birthdate: 3/20 Height: 5′7 (Patronus: Red Fox) Description: Hi, I’m Carlos & life is pain, only valid things in this world are only science & Evie Grimhilde, bye. Gemini De Vil is my midget brother who I love. Devil De Vil is my crazy ass dad. My mom is dead, thanks for asking.

Name: Danny Flint Blood Status: Shade Eye colour: Grey Age: Old Nameday: ? Height: 5′4 Description: Being dead was less droll.  

Name: Eileen Tabitha Prince Snape Year: Graduated House: Slytherin Blood Status: Pureblood Poltergeist Eye colour: Black Age: Well. I died at 35 so let’s go with that Birthdate: 12/18 Height: 6’11  (Used to be 6'6 but I had this weird growth spurt two days before I died.) Patronus: Didn’t have one apparently

Description: … I really don’t have anything to say to you. I died, I decided I wanted to come back. Er. Awkwardly enough the old castle I was haunting is now inhabited by my son and his family. They’re all really bloody loud. No wonder the rest of the ghosts make so much noise back. And no. I have not introduced myself to any of them. I mean. Sometimes I talk to ‘em but I’ve never gotten an answer. Plus unlike most of the floating assholes here I’d much rather keep to myself, thank you.

Name: Griffin “Finn” Merterns Blood Status: Human(?) Eye colour: Blue Age: 19 Birthdate: 3/14 Height: 6′3 Description: Hey bros! I’m Finn, a radical kid that makes it his business to help people out and kickin’ monster tail! Mostly when I’m not doin’ that I’m chillin’ it up with my bro Jake in the tree house so as long as you’re not some wacko monster that wants to eat up my face you can swing by and we can fire up BMO or something.

Name: Henry Harry Jameson Hook (Year: Slytherin) (House: Seventh) Blood Status: Half-demon/Sorcerer Eye colour: Blue Age: 17 Birthdate: 10/23 Height: 6′2 (Patronus: Savannah cat) Description: All it takes is one wrong look & I’ll EVISCERATE ya... Taken by Uma daughter of Ursula. Ya want me? Ya have ta ask her permission & pray she likes ya & is in a SHARIN’ mood. Jamie Hook is me mum an’ she taugh’ me all I know about bein’ scary. Me da??? He’s a dumbass.

Name: Karl Vreski (Year: Graduated) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Human (Pureblood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 19 (Typically) Birthdate: 10/25 Height: 6′1 (Patronus: Jackal)

Description: I’m Karl. Lacrosse. Tacos. Boxing. American football. Whatever activity that involves either Hans Gruber or hitting something? I like it. Tony’s alright. Good brother at least. Not at all annoying like the normal younger sibling M.O. Far nicer than me. I’ll likely end up being a lawyer same as my father. Boring but Hans and I are already working at the damn firm so it’s an easy job. I’m sure Hans’ll come up with a more fun idea. He always does.

Name: Tony Vreski (House: Hufflepuff) (Year: Seventh) Blood Status: Poltergeist (Pureblood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 17 (Typically) Birthdate: 9/3 Height: 5′10 (Patronus: Rooster)

Description: I’m Tony… I uh. I play some football. Real football not American. I’m Karl’s younger brother and… To be honest Hans scares me a little bit even if we’re all like brothers… Uh more often than not I just go along with their crazy plans because. Well because my brother says it’ll be fun. And. It usually is. Even if some of it’s a little illegal.

Name: Loki Friggason (Year: Graduated) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: God of Mischief & Chaos Eye colour: Green Age: Don’t be rude. Birthdate: Mind your business Height: 6′0 (Patronus: Corn snake) Description: I am Loki of Asgard. & I’m so fucking tired of all the gards.

Name: Beverly Marsh Blood Status: Human Eye colour: Green Age: 14 Birthdate: 8/26 Height: 5′3

Description: I’m Bev. Looked into that stupid clown’s deadlights & lived. I’ll be a loser to the end & I’m honestly real proud of that. Losers have no where to go but up, after all.

Name: Marceline Abadeer Blood Status: Vampire Demon Eye colour: Green Age: 1003, Approximately Birthdate: Unknown Height: 5′9 (Various) Description: Marceline the Vampire Queen, dude. Sure you’ve heard of me before so I wouldn’t be surprised to see you shaking in your boots right about now. Been traveling and terrorising the Land of Ooo for a while now though it’s nothing too irreversible. Mostly I’m just a radical dame that likes to play games as a very special someone once said about me.

Name: Nathan Clarke (Year: I died in seventh) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: (Verse dependent) Poltergeist (Half-blood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 17 Birthdate: 8/13 Height: 6′2 (Patronus: Some squiggly thing I dunno) Description: Hi I’m Nathan & I wanna die... Haha gottem!

Name: Richmond Richie Wentworth Tozier Blood Status: Human Eye colour: Caribbean Green Age: 14 Birthdate: 8/10 Height: 5′10  Description: I’m only afraid of werewolves & girls with eyes that are hard to not get lost in.

Name: Robyn Black Robin Blood Status: Poltergeist Eye colour: Hazel Age: Hm Nameday: Some far off winter Height: 6′5 Description:  “The Gods above all knew his crimes The lord read off his lists The Gods above all knew his crimes The men's hands balled to fists His legs they kicked, they jerked, then slowed The crowd not once did cheer His legs they slowed, then finally stopped The crowd not once did jeer”

Name: Sadie O’Connell Blood Status: ??? Eye colour: Blue Age: 19 Birthdate: I don’t remember Height: 5′6 Description: I tried to kill myself over a boy who didn’t love me back. Someone brought me back & now here I am, I guess.

Name: Scorpio Felix Sepelio Tobias Exodus Snape Blood Status: Vampire Eye colour: One is jade one is cobalt and they swap sides frequently Age: 91 Died at 36 and it’s been a while. You do the math, mate. Birthdate: 11/10 Height: 5’3

Description: Surprise bitches. I bet you all thought I was dead…In a matter of speaking that’s still accurate. The greasy little snot did indeed best me when I was human. I respect that victory &even though I miss them.. My children don’t need me. I wasn’t good to them when they did. I doubt they’re aware I came back and I’ll keep it that way for all our sakes. There’s no point in asking me how exactly I returned to life. I don’t know and I don’t particularly care. Maybe Hell just can’t handle me yet.

Name: Thomas Marvolo Riddle Year: Graduated House: Slytherin Blood Status: Demon Fledging Eye colour: Blue Age: Rude. Birthdate: 12/31 Height: 6′4 Patronus: Hmmm, my little secret. Description: Join my cult. Satanism is actually very beneficial if you’re respectful. No. You don’t have to slit your wrist to join... Please. Stop slitting your wrists to join.

Name: King Aerys Targaryen Second of His Name King of the Andals & the First Men Lord of the Seven Kingdoms & Protector of the Realm (Year: Graduated) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Human Mine is the blood of Old Valyria (Pureblood) Eye colour: Violet Age: Hm. Nameday: High summer.  Height: 6′8 (Patronus: Gila Monster) Description: Burn them all.

Name: Ser Jaime Lannister (Year: Graduated) (House: Hufflepuff) Blood Status: Shade (Pureblood) Eye colour: Green Age: I’m dead. Sorry. Nameday: Does it matter? Height: 5′6 (Patronus: Munchkin Cat) Description: I stayed loyal to the Targaryens & they won. But I died when Robert Baratheon caved in Rhaegar’s chest... At least I got to watch him die for it.

Name: Daenerys Visenya Targaryen (Year: Fifth) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: ??? (Pureblood) Eye colour: Violet Age: 15 Nameday: During a violent storm Height: 4′9 (Patronus: Blue-tongued Skink) Description: My family’s way is fire & blood... But my heart sings a softer song... & I don’t know which way is right.

[yunsangelic]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

���Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

[gaymusicchart]

GAY MUSIC CHART – 2019 week 05

 Welcome to the Gay Music Chart, the LGBTQA related music videos TOP 50 actuality and most request.

Please notice that we received dozens of suggestions, and it's impossible to present all of them in the same week edition because the video would be too long. We have three months three months late to catch up, so it will take some times.

 Vote for your favourite LGBTQA related music videos by leaving a comment for this post on :

YOUTUBE (in the comment section of the video of the week) : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz7yfp-xq-b08tD6mAWwclA

BLOGGER : http://gaymusicchart.blogspot.fr

FACEBOOK : https://www.facebook.com/GayMusicChart/

TWITTER : https://twitter.com/GayMusicChart with #GayMusicChart  

TUMBLR : http://gaymusicchart.tumblr.com  

 Here are some partners who also makes LGBT charts or presents some LGBT artists :

https://tadslgbtmusiccharts.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/gaymusicgossipshow/

http://picdeer.com/gaymusicgram

Don’t hesitate to visits their sites !

 Here is the recap for this week :

 OUT : Mx Blouse - "No Match" LW: 31 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 31

OUT : LOZOVOY - Певица ("Pevitsa" / "Singer") LW: 32 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 32

OUT : Jake Shears - "Everything I'll Ever Need" LW: 38 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 19

OUT : Mike Maimone - "Through The Changes" LW: 39 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 39

OUT : Navraj Hans, Harshdeep Kaur - "Gud Naal Ishq Mitha" LW: 40 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 40

OUT : Hương Giang - "Anh Đang Ở Đâu Đấy Anh" LW: 41 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 41

OUT : Westlife - "Hello My Love" LW: 42 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 17

OUT : Allen King - "Mejor Me Quedo Solo" LW: 44 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 29

OUT : Jay Shih 是元介  - "Old Man"《偕老》LW: 45 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 45

OUT : Esteman - "Fuimos Amor" LW: 46 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 46

OUT : Falko - "Fragile" LW: 48 / WO: 1 / PEAK: 48

  01 (+ 2) : Calum Scott - "No Matter What"

LW: 03 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 01 (x2)

UK - 2018 - from the album "Only Human" (Special Edition)

This really personnal song tells the story of Calum Scott telling his parents he was gay and their reactions of loving him "no matter what". It's a deep and emotional power ballad.

��02 (+ 5) : Lizzo - "Juice"

LW: 07 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 02

USA - 2018

 03 (- 2) : Troye Sivan - "Lucky Strike"

LW: 01 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 01 (x1)

Australia - 2019 - from the album "Bloom"

It's his ninth music video which is #1 in less 4 years! Troye is definitely the little prince of Gay Music Chart.

 04 (+ 2) : Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper - "Shallow"

LW: 06 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 04

USA - 2018 - from the OST "A Star Is Born"

This song won the Golden Globe for Best Original Song 2018, and is nominated to the Grammys and the Oscars. The movie is about seasoned musician Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) discovers-and falls in love with-struggling artist Ally (Gaga). She has just about given up on her dream to make it big as a singer - until Jack coaxes her into the spotlight. But even as Ally's career takes off, the personal side of their relationship is breaking down, as Jack fights an ongoing battle with his own internal demons.

 05 (- 3) : Calvin Harris, Sam Smith - "Promises"

LW: 02 / WO: 9 / PEAK: 01 (x1)

UK - 2018

 06 (- 2) : Years & Years - "All For You"

LW: 04 / WO: 15 / PEAK: 01 (x1))

UK - 2018 / from the album "Palo Santo"

 07 (+ 5) : Bilal Hassani - "Roi" (Lyrics Video)

LW: 12 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 05

France - 2019

Bilal Hassani won Destination Eurovision 2019 and will represent France at the Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in Tel Avivwith this song about self esteem.

 08 (+ 21) : Silva - "Duas da Tarde"

LW: 29 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 08

Brazil - 2018 - from the album "Brasileiro"

 09 (- 4) : Jax Jones, Years & Years - "Play"

LW: 05 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 03

UK - 2018 - from the EP "Snacks"

 10 (- 2) : Mark Ronson feat. Miley Cyrus - "Nothing Breaks Like a Heart"

LW: 08 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 04

USA - 2018

An excellent collab.

 11 (- 2) : Sam Smith - "Fire On Fire"

LW: 09 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 07

UK - 2018 - from the OST "Watership Down"

"Watership Down" is a BBC mini-series adaptation of the book, which tells the story about a warren of rabbits fighting to survive numerous perils as they search for a new home.

 12 (- 1) : Troye Sivan and Jónsi - "Revelation" (Lyric video)

LW: 11 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 11

Australia / Iceland - 2018 - from the OST "Boy Erased"

The song was nominated on the 2019 Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song. The movie "Boy Erased" follows the son of Baptist parents who is forced to take part in a gay conversion therapy program.

 13 (- 3) : Greyson Chance - "Good As Gold" 

LW: 10 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 10

USA - 2018

The song was already in our chart in September, but the music video was released during our break.

 14 (=) : Panic! At The Disco - "High Hopes"

LW: 14 / WO: 7 / PEAK: 06

USA - 2018 / from the album "Pray For The Wicked"

 15 (NEW) : Jão - "Me Beija Com Raiva"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 15

Brazil - 2018 - from the album "Lobos"

It's the first time the singer talks about his sexual orientation with this song, writen for an ex-lover who broke his heart.

 16 (+ 1) : Theo X - "You Don't Wanna Dance"

LW: 17 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 09

Denmark - 2018

In this cute music video, a young teen dares to give an invitation to dance to another boy. Love is love.

 17 (+ 11) : Pabllo Vittar - "Disk Me"

LW: 28 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 17

Brazil - 2018 - from the album "Não Para Não"

She was definitely the most successful drag queen in 2018.

 18 (NEW) : Ariana Grande - "thank u, next"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 18

USA - 2018 - from the album "thank u, next"

Troye Sivan features in the music video.

 19 (+ 6) : Michael Medrano - "Love Somebody Else"

LW: 25 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 19

USA - 2018

The song was previously presented in our chart, but the music video was only released during our break.

 20 (- 7) : Peter Wilson & Sean Smith - "Verona"

LW: 13 / WO: 10 / PEAK: 01 (x2)

UK - 2018 / from the album "The Passion and The Flame"

This awesome cover of the 2017's Estonian Eurovision track from Koit Toome and Laura is produced by Matt Pop.

 21 (+ 16) : Not.Your.Regular.Boy. - "It's All Yours"

LW: 37 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 21

The Netherlands - 2018

This is his third single.

 22 (- 6) : Blair St. Clair - "Irresistible"

LW: 16 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 09

USA - 2018 - from the EP "Call My Life"

This is the third single of her first EP. Her EP was #1 on Billboard

Dance/Electronic Albums Sales Chart.

 23 (- 8) : LP - "Recovery"

LW: 15 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 15

USA - 2018 - from the album "Heart To Mouth"

This is the second single of her latest album.

 24 (+ 26) : Gloria Groove - "Coisa Boa"

LW: 50 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 24

Brazil - 2018

 25 (- 7) : Halsey - "Without Me"

LW: 18 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 14

USA - 2018

 26 (- 6) : Federica Abbate - "Finalmente"

LW: 20 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 20

Italy - 2018

This song came second in the first part of the Sanremo Giovani 2018 Music Festival for emergent artists. The lyrics talk about a love relationship badly judged by the entourage. If the lyrics aren't specifically gay, the music video is, with the portrayal of a young man who comes out to his father who rejects him in return. So, the young man can only be reconforted by his boyfriend and his friends. Until... Beautiful.

 27 (+ 9) : Sam Smith, Normani - "Dancing With A Stranger"

LW: 36 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 27

UK / USA  - 2019

This is a passionate duet about coping with loneliness and trying to get over a lost love.

 28 (- 4) : Urgence Homophobie - "De l'Amour"

LW: 24 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 10

France - 2018

As homophobic attacks have increased by 15% in 2018 in France, 70 French celebrities made this song to fight homophobia.

 29 (NEW) : Lauv & Troye Sivan - "i'm so tired..." [Official Audio]

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 29

USA / Australia - 2019

 30 (- 3) : Charli XCX & Troye Sivan - "1999"

LW: 27 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 05

UK / Australia - 2018

The music video is a real revival of what made the year 1999.

 31 (+ 3) : Sam Tsui - "A Million Pieces"

LW: 34 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 31

USA - 2018 - from the album "Trust"

 32 (- 11) : Tiago Braga - Ilusão

LW: 21 / WO: 22 / PEAK: 06

Portugal - 2018

A story of infidelity.

 33 (- 14) : Allen King feat. Amor Romeira - "My Boy"

LW: 19 / WO: 6 / PEAK: 03

Spain - 2018

 34 (- 12) : Jeff Carl - "Buried in New York"

LW: 22 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 17

USA - 2018

The music video shows the singer living his first months of celibacy in New York but realizing that he hasn’t totally forgotten his previous love relationship.

 35 (NEW) : Miss Benny - "Rendezvous"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 35

USA - 2019

Miss Benny is the new project of Ben J. Pierce aka Kid POV, aka Benny, well known here for his previous singles, included "Boys Will Be Boys". Welcome back!

 36 (NEW) : Hatari - "Spillingardans"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 36

Iceland - 2018

Disturbing. Scary. Intriguing. Exciting... The industrial gothic trio from Reykjavik is selected to Söngvakeppnin, the Icelandic national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019. Not with this song, but when you listen to this, you are already intrigued and excited...

 37 (- 4) : Openside - "Character Flaws"

LW: 33 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 11

New Zealand - 2018

This is their sixth single, but we're still waiting for an album!

 38 (- 12) : Scott Free - "We Honor The Dead" (World Martyrs)

LW: 26 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 26

USA - 2019

A tribute to engaged LGBTQ men and women who died while defending LGBTQ Rights around the world.

 39 (NEW) : Monique Heart - "Brown Cow Stunning" (Mitch Ferrino Mix)

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 39

USA - 2018

 40 (- 10) : The Diesel Tykes feat. Tim'm West / LnK - "Every Day Is Earth Day"

LW: 30 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 28

USA - 2018

It's everyday time to save the Earth with this catchy song by Scott Free !

 41 (+ 6) : Echo Black - "Poison Apple"

LW: 47 / WO: 3 / PEAK: 37

USA - 2018 - from the album "Dawn"

The queer lead singer of the band is Danny Blu.

 42 (NEW) : Ricky Merino - "Miénteme"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 42

Spain - 2018

This is his second single, and the first on after Operación Triunfo 2018.

 43 (NEW) : White Lies - "Tokyo"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 43

UK - 2019 - from the album "FIVE"

 44 (- 21) : Sam Bluer - "Body High"

LW: 23 / WO: 11 / PEAK: 03

Australia - 2018

This is his debut music video. A revelation.

 45 (NEW) : Reigen - "High on U"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 45

USA - 2019

 46 (NEW) : Alex vdH - "Georgia Summer Dream"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 46

USA - 2018

Alex van der Hoek brings you melancholia with this song.

 47 (NEW) : Emmanuel Moire - "La promesse"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 47

France - 2019 - from the album "Odyssée"

This personal song talks about how he decided to be openly gay towards his fans while he was already a famous singer. It came 4th at Destination Eurovision 2019.

 48 (+ 1) : Milow feat. Matt Simons - "Lay Your Worry Down"

LW: 49 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 48

Belgium / USA - 2018

There is a gay couple in this music video.

 49 (- 14) : Zee Machine - "Dangerous"

LW: 35 / WO: 4 / PEAK: 31

USA - 2018 - from the EP "Brainchemistry"

Zee Machine, aka Joe Bissell, released his first EP in April 2018.

 50 (- 7) : Clean Bandit feat. Marina & Luis Fonsi - "Baby"

LW: 43 / WO: 2 / PEAK: 50

UK / USA (Puerto Rico) - 2018 - from the album "What is Love ?"

In this music video, during her wedding with a man, a woman remembers her love for another woman in a summer camp.

   NEW THIS WEEK

 Jussie Smollett - "Hurt People"

LW: - / WO: 2 / PEAK: 25

USA - 2018 - from the album "Sum of My Music"

The singer and actor from "Empire" has been hospitalized after a racist and homophobic aggression by two masked men while he was walking on the streets of Chicago. The emotion in the USA is high after this hate crime.

 Bilal Hassani - "Copines x Tout Oublier" (Aya Nakamura / Angèle Cover)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

France - 2018

Bilal Hassani made a huge buzz since he will represent France in the Eurovision Song Contest 2019. His victory in Destination Eurovision has amplified the homophobic cyber bullying. He has just filed 213 complaints for homophobic messages, mainly on Twitter.

 Courtney Act - "Fight For Love"

LW: - / WO: 1 / PEAK: 27

Australia - 2018

The drag queen is selected with this pride song to "Eurovision - Australia decides", the Australian national selections for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019.

 Alfie Arcuri - "To Myself"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Australia - 2019

The Australian singer is selected with this song about self acceptance to "Eurovision - Australia decides", the Australian national selections for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019.

 Electric Fields - "2000 and Whatever" (Lyrics Video)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Australia - 2019

Zaachariaha Fielding and Michael Ross mix electronic music with Aboriginal culture. This song is selected with to "Eurovision - Australia decides", the Australian national selections for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019.

 KEiiNO - "Spirit In The Sky" (official lyric video -  nature)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Norway - 2019

KEiiNO is a trio composed by Fred Buljo, Alexandra Rotan and Tom Hugo. This song,  which mixes dance and Sami ethnic sounds, is selected to the Melodi Grand Prix 2019, the Norwegian national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest.  

 Erlend Bratland - "Sing For You"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Norway - 2019

The singer is back at the Melodi Grand Prix, the norwegian national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019. Last time, he came second with his song "Thunderstruck". Will he win this time ? The answer the 2 March 2019.

 Sigmund - "Say My Name"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Denmark - 2019

This song about self esteem is selected to the Dansk Melodi Grand Prix 2019, the Danish national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest.  

 Friðrik Ómar - "What if I can´t have love? "

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Iceland - 2019

Friðrik Ómar is selected with this song to Söngvakeppnin, the Icelandic national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019. He previously participated to the Eurovision Song Contest in 2008 with Euroband and the song "This is My Life", and in 2009 as a chorist for Yohanna with the song "Is it True?".  

 Hatari - "Hatrið mun sigra"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Iceland - 2019

The industrial gothic trio from Reykjavik is selected with this song to Söngvakeppnin, the Icelandic national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019. They won the Best Live Band Grapevine Music Awards 2017.

 The Lovers of Valdaro - "Lost Forever"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Sweden - 2018

We presented this Swedish duo on gay Music Chart 2018 week 33. They won with this song the P4 Nästa 2018, and can now participate to the Melodifestivalen, the Swedish national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest. They must submit a new song for it.

 Duncan Laurence - "I Miss You" (demo)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

The Netherlands - 2019

The former contestant of The Voice Holland has come out as bisexual. He will represent his country to the Eurovision Song Contest 2019, but not with song, which will be revealed later.  

 Netta - "Bassa Sababa"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Israel - 2019

This is her first single her victory at the Eurovision Song Contest 2018, still composed by Stav Beger.

 Harel Skaat הראל סקעת - "Honestly" 【בחיי"】

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Israel - 2018

 Sebastian Walldén - "Everything" (Live @ Idol Sverige 2018 Finale)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Sweden - 2018

He's the first openly gay contestant winning the Swedish version of Idol.

 Andrea Di Giovanni - "Forbidden Love"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Italy - 2019

The Italian singer based in the UK wants with this song to keep up the talk about the new purge against LGBT in Chechnya.

 Brandon Stansell - "Hometown"

W: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018 - from the album "Slow Down"

This song is kind of a representation of his coming out story, with his family who didn’t respond very well. It was named one of the TOP 10 COUNTRY MUSIC VIDEOS of 2018 by Rolling Stone.

 Sam Tsui - "Carousel"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019 - from the album "Trust"

 Sam Fender - "Dead Boys"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

UK - 2018 - from the EP "Dead Boys"

 Andy Allo - "Angels Make Love"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Cameroun / USA - 2019

 Lauren Ruth Ward - "Valhalla"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019

 Erik Altemus - "Desidero"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019 - from the EP "DESIDERATUM"

 Bobby Newberry - "Chance"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018

 Kim Boekbinder - "Fractal"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Canada - 2018 - from the album "NoiseWitch"

 Scotty Dynamo feat. Alina Renae - "I Could Be Your Trainer"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Canada - 2018

 Nathan Ramos - "Gay Asian Country Love Song"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019

 Marck Angel - "Wings"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018

 Tom Goss - "Round In All The Right Places"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018

His ode to round men.

 Liam Benzvi - "The Morning"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019 - from the EP "Amnesia, USA"

 Naomi Smalls - "Pose"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018

 AJA - "I'm Kawaii / Ayo Sis"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Canada - 2018 - from the EP "In My Feelings"

 Soju (소주) feat. Edward Avila - "K-Pop Idol Reject"  

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018

 Manila Luzon - "Go Fish"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019 - from the album "Rules"

 Trinity The Tuck - "The Face The Body"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019

 Willam Belli - "Oral"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2019

You must go to patreon.com/willam to watch the "uncut" version.

 Maci Sumcox - "Dildo" ("Fernando" Parody)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

UK - 2019

 Kameron Michaels Dance Video - "Nothing Breaks Like a Heart"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

USA - 2018

 Kika Boom & Danny Bond - "Loka de Pinga"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Brazil - 2019

 Enme feat Butantan - "Sarrar" [Brunoso Mix]

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Brazil - 2018

 Armário de Saia - "Você Não Colabora"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Brazil - 2019

 Juan Guiã - "Libera a Raba"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Brazil - 2019 - from the EP "Também Sou Feito de Infernos"

 Lindsey Martinez - "Joga No Movimento"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Brazil - 2019

 Agustín Malandra - "Ra"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Argentina - 2019

 Miranda! - "La Colisión"

W: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Argentina - 2018

 Sailorfag - "Amiga Date Cuenta"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Mexico - 2018 - from the album "Sailorfag"

 Vishal Dadlani, Shannon Donald - "Good Morning'

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

India - 2019 - from the OST "Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga"

This Bollywood lesbian romance is the story of a man, played by Rajkummar, who fell in love with a girl, played by Sonam. Her family is looking for a suitable match for her and while there are several good options, she isn’t ready to say yes to any of them. She says she has a secret, something that causes her parents to turn against her.

 If Our Love is Wrong | TJj & Cyrus (fan video by crankyjones)

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

The heartbreaking power ballad from Calum Scott became very popular, even if it hasn't been released as a single. Several fan and slash videos use this song to ship a gay couple on YouTube, as this example from TV series Andi Mack.

 Calum Scott - "If Our Love is Wrong"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

UK - 2018 - from the album "Only Human"

 Liniker - "Preciso Me Encontrar"

LW: - / WO: - / PEAK: -

Brazil - 2018 - from the OST "3%"

"3%" is the first science fiction series developped by Netflix.  

[opedguy]

Pentagon Hit with Critical Race Theory

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), June 24, 2021.--Today’s mass hysteria over race became the Democrats No. 2 issue in tahe 2020 campaign against 75-year-old President Donald Trump. No. 1 issue being Covid.19.   Capitalizing on the regrettable death of George Floyd May 25, 2020 and nationwide riots over last summer, the leftist PR ;machine exploited Floyd’s death to sell Critical Race Theory [CRT]   to the public, giving African Americans leverage heading into the Nov. 8, 2020 presidential election, President Joe Biden, 78, was the beneficiary and the victim of race hysteria sweeping over the liberal press and over a wide swath of public and private U.S institutions.   Bidenj said Nov 14, 2020, only days after winning the presidency, that the U.S. was a “systemically racist” country, a label often used by so-called anti-racists led by best-selling author 38-year-old Boston University Prof. Ibrahim X. Kendi [formerly Henry Rogers].

           Rogers rode a fashionable wave all the way to the bank with his book, “How to Become and Anti-Racist,” something now sold to public and private institutions around the country.  If you don’t follow Kendi’s prescription, White people are branded racists, something that carries economic consequences, like job loss, demotions maybe total ocial ostracism.  When the U.S. Army Service Academy at West Point offered a seminar of “White Rage,” it infuriated certain conservative members of Congress.  Meeting in the House Armed Services Committee June 23,  63-year-old Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Miley defended West Point as just providing university education.  Rep. Mike Waltz (R-Fl.) questioned 68-year-old Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin about teaching Critical Race Theory [CRT] at U.S. service academies, brainwashing cadets.

What irked Waltz was the fact that U.S. service academies indoctrinated young recruits with Critical Race Theory, attributing systemic racism, as Biden said Nov. 16, 2020, to institutions like the U.S. military. Unlike Miley who supported the practice of teaching CRT, Austin said the Pentagon took no position as to the correctness or factual basis only exposing service academy recruits to the ideas.  CRT emerged from legal scholars out of the 1970s studying the way the law interacts with social, political and cultural institutions as it relates to race.  CRT looks at institutions as they interact with civil rights, not individual racist attitudes.  So when Biden said the country is “systemically racist,” he was repeating the prevailing mantra pushed by Kendi and other anti-racist authors that jumped on the bandwagon. Since George Floyd’s death and last summer’s race riots, Black Lives Matter has set the national agenda.

           After Biden won the Nov. 8, 2020 residential election, 40-year-old Black Lives Founder Alicia Garza said she would demand Biden give her a seat at the table.  Garza pushed hard to de-fund the police to redirect funds to BLM and other community groups.  Since last summer, violent crime has risen dramatically, as the police have been demonized as racist organizations.  Law enforcement agencies around the country are afraid to do their jobs, especially in high-crime areas of inner cities where black-on-black violence is far worse than anything done by white police departments.  Yet Garza, like Kendi, capitalized on the national wave giving more political clout to black groups, especially since Biden and 56-year-old African American Kamal Harris took office.   In the hot seat yesterday, Miley went over the top defending CRT curriculum at U.S. service academies.

           Biden found out how parroting the views of BLM hurt U.S. foreign policy when 58-uear-old Secretary of State Antony Blinken and 44-year-old National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan met in Anchorage, Alaska for a get-to-know you summit with China.  After blasted by Blinken and Sullivan for committing genocide on Muslim Uyghurs, Senior Chinese Diplomat Yang Jiechi told Blinken and Sullivan they had no right to lecture Chinas on human rights when Biden admitted the U.S. was a “systemically racist” country.  With hard fought civil rights laws in place since the 1960s, the U.S. government protects African Americans and other minorities with comprehensive federal civil rights laws prohibiting discrimination in educational institutions and the workplace. Yet if ask BLM or other pro-black advocacy groups, the U.S. still practices Jim Crow or even slavery. 

           Waltz and other Republicans don[‘t want reverse bigotry inside the Pentagon, where White privilege and guilt permeate classroom discussions about race.  How ironic that Austin, who happens to be black, rose to the top of the Pentagon, currently service as the nation’s first defense secretary.  Race ceilings have been broken by former Secretaries of State Gen. Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, under a White former President George W. Bush. Former President Barack Obama enjoyed two terms in office. Yet to BLM America is a “systemically racist” country, with police signaling out blacks. Today’s anti-racist agenda is not about civil rights, it’s about getting African Americans reparations for slavery. New York Times writer Nicole Hannah-Jones wrote 1619 Project in Aug. 2019 to demand that African Americans be compensated for the U.S. history of slavery.

About the Author  

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in naitpnal and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.

[springy1000]

All the little chibi's I've made, but my twin sister chose the characters!! Some of them are my OCs and most of them you can tell where they are from!

Golden Freddy/My version: From FNAF 1, 2, and the FNAF movie! Is the youngest son of Springtrap AKA John!

Jake: My newest OC! From my new Ask blog on Tumblr! He likes William Afton in my AU!

Fatal/My version: A Glitch cast character from FNAF TPPR on Roblox! I play as him in my Roblox vids on YouTube! He Likes Sophie Walten!

Ennard/My version: From FNAF: Sister Location! Is the brother of Mary/Marionette!

Springtrap/My version: Is from FNAF 3, Has two souls possessing the suit! John Williams, and William Afton are the two souls! John is the main possessor! He is in love with Ennard's sister! Great friends with everyone, except Jake (For now)

Vanessa/My version: Is from FNAF Security Breach, and the FNAF Movie! She likes Mike Schmidt! She is really good friends with Springtrap! Tries to stop Shadrow and Adrian! (My main villains from my AU)

Sophie Walten/My version(From FNAF TPPR): Is from Walten Files! (My version is from FNAF TPPR on Roblox) She likes Fatal! Her father hates him! 😢 (She gets freaked out later in my AU when Fatal goes missing)

Mika/My version: My twin sister (IRL), She is one of my older OCs! She looks way better now than she did years ago! She loves everyone except the villains obviously!

There that took a while!!

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

35 things to inspire you during your 2019 self-love sessions

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

So far, 2019 hasn't been a particularly sexy year.

When you think about, we've all had to watch a lot of straight-up nonsense go down. Green Book won the Oscar for Best Picture, Jeff Bezos' "sexts" leaked, and Sonic the Hedgehog got a full set of human teeth, for goodness sake. Gross!

A bunch of this year's pop culture moments have been genuinely disappointing, but we're not going to let that harsh our self-love vibes. From sexy fashion statements and television characters, to memes and music, 2019 has definitely given us some glorious moments worthy of recalling during the act of self-pleasure.

If you find yourself in need of some masturbation inspiration, here are 35 ~very 2019~ things to think about.

1. Chris Evans' teal velvet pants: Christopher Robert Evans had the absolute audacity to show up to an Avengers: Endgame press event in April wearing teal velvet pants. The trousers looked as though they were hand-crafted by an angelic seamstresses in the clouds and came with the equally stunning teal velvet suit jacket Evans wore to the Oscars earlier this year. We're all blessed that his stylist, Ilaria Urbinati, firmly believes you should "never let a great pair of trousers go to waste."

Chris Evans inventing pants.

Image: ALBERTO E. RODRIGUEZ/GETTY IMAGES FOR DISNEY

2. America's ass: While we're on the topic of Chris Evans' pants, let's get another inevitable Chris-related 2019 thirst trap out of the way. Feel free to think of the real star of Avengers: Endgame — America's ass — whenever you need a dose of dayummmm. 🇺🇸🍑

3. "Old Town Road": There are many subject-appropriate songs out there to get off to, but if you're looking to switch things up a bit, consider listening to the 2019 anthems, "Old Town Road" and the remix, for inspiration.

4. The possibility of eliminating student debt: This year, Elizabeth Warren announced her plans to cancel student debt and eliminate college tuition for future students, and honestly? Just the thought of having your ridiculously high student debt forgiven is *tingles* exciting. 

5. The new Staples logo: People got seriously amped when that little staple unfolded. So... strong.

SEE ALSO: 7 ridiculously large sex toys to help you go big in the bedroom

6. The Jonas Brothers reunion AND the introduction of the Jonas Sisters: One of the world's most popular boy bands — a band of literal biological brothers — reunited in 2019, and that alone is reason enough for everyone to be "Burnin' Up." But with the reunion also came the introduction of the fierce female trio, the Jonas Sisters (aka Sophie Turner, Priyanka Chopra, and Danielle Jonas). 🔥

7. The black hole: The world saw the first recorded image of a black hole in 2019, and I guess it's kind of hot, right? It is described as "supermassive," so. Hey. 

8. The possible return of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets: Can you think of a thought spicer than imagining the possible return of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets? There aren't many. 

9. The thought of the L train being functional: Governor Andrew Cuomo is confident that limiting service of the extraordinarily popular L train for a year will be in the city's best interest, but in the mean time New Yorkers are living a fresh new subway hell. Stay strong, people. And if necessary, after a long-ass day of commuting, feel free to envision a beautiful, fully functioning L train in the sack.

10. Jauz's "Baby Shark" remix: I think the Coachella track really speaks for itself doo doo doo doo doo doo.

11. KFC's hot new Colonel Sanders: KFC isn't simply in the business of making people hungry for chicken anymore. Now they're interested in making people thirst for their hot new Colonel Sanders. (It's working?)

12. The thought of sexting with a robot: Mashable Staff Writer Jess Joho sexted with a bot, and you can too. Turns out it's surprisingly hot.

13. The Night King: Listen, he wasn't very nice. He's also dead now. But in his glory days the Night King could get it.

14. The Hulk's junk: Ever wonder if the Hulk can have sex? There's a lot to unpack. Consider doing so next time you get down with yourself, because, why not?

15. David's dance on Schitt's Creek: David and Patrick's relationship is one of the best on television, and while David's dance to Tina Turner's "The Best" is sweet enough to make you ugly cry, it's also sexy as hell and impossible to watch without getting chills. (The same argument can be made for the scene where Patrick sings "The Best" to David.)

16. Literally any moment from the 2 hours and 17 minutes of Beyoncé's Homecoming: The performance is the definition of flawless and we are barely worthy of such brilliance.

17. The Burn This poster: The poster for the Broadway revival of Lanford Wilson's Burn This is haaaaawt. It features Adam Driver and Keri Russell lookin' gorg, just chillin' horizontal on a couch all dreamy and idyllic and shit. See for yourself.

18. This sand art replica of Dwayne Johnson's face: You might not initially think a video of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's head being assembled from sand is the stuff to inspire hot thoughts, which is understandable, but if you never try you'll never know, right?

19. Bowsette: The fan-created character that mashes Bowser and Princess Peach together was dismissed by Nintendo this year, but that doesn't stop people from lusting over NSFW Bowsette art online.

20. This extremely long dongle: Major BDE (Big Dongle Energy) coming from this one. Who can ignore?

This is one long dongle #io19 pic.twitter.com/OtNf1fsdDK

— Raymond Wong📱💾📼 (@raywongy) May 7, 2019

21. The moment Captain America wielded Thor's hammer: Yes, we've already gave a nod to Chris Evans/Captain America twice on this list, but how could we not acknowledge the ⚡electric⚡ moment Cap summoned Mjolnir? A real shock to the heart.

22. 500 Intel drones performing a choreographed light show set to Phish: Get jammin', folks.

23. Golf balls cut in half: These artsy halved golf balls with tantalizingly scrumptious interiors are forbidden snacks, but we can still drool.

24. Demon Beto O'Rourke: When the skateboarding, burger-loving, Beyoncé-endorsed musician Beto O'Rourke ran for Texas Senator against Ted Cruz, he was one of the most crush-worthy men on the planet. Now, O'Rourke is running for president, though, and the American people can't afford to let their thirst distract them from focusing on policy issues. Rather than thinking of Beto to get yourself all hot and bothered consider, focusing on this comedian's parody version, Demon Beto.

25. Animations of a baguette on the move: We are not suggesting you think about just any old loaf of bread while masturbating. Animated baguettes are special.

26. Villanelle and Eve: The relationship between the two Killing Eve characters may be complicated, but their chemistry is clear as day. Scenes like this are simply too intense to just watch.

27. Crocs and shaving cream: In case you haven't seen, putting large dollops of shaving cream in Crocs and then inserting feet forces the shaving cream to escape out of the signature shoe holes. It's quite the satisfying sight.

28. Basically every Met Gala outfit: The 2019 Met Gala theme was "Camp" — inspired by Susan Sontag's 1964 essay — and everyone's outfits were S T U N N I N G. Here is a list of some greats. 

29. The Rihanna birthday outfit challenge: Everyone knows Rihanna slays the Met Gala when she attends, but since the singer didn't make it this year we have to get our fix another way. Try searching "Rihanna" and your birthday on Google and see one of her iconic outfits will appear. You're welcome.

30. Balenciaga Crocs: Speaking of Crocs and the Met... I like those Balenciagas. The ones that look like Crocs. 😏

of course the balenciaga crocs are here pic.twitter.com/34ZWXYXAKD

— rachel syme (@rachsyme) May 6, 2019

31. Jake Gyllenhaal in Spider-Man Far From Home trailer: HeLLO, Mysterio. We see that beard and shaggy Jim Halpert hair, boy.

32. What if we kissed memes: A perfect meme for those who want to imagine kissing people in super bizarre places — like near a high voltage box — but are in need of inspiration.

33. The gray streak in Richard Madden's hair: 50 strands of gray = bae.

34. The Senate Intelligence Committee subpoenaing Donald Trump Jr. to testify over the Russia Investigation: Perhaps some people will take pleasure from imagining Trump's son testifying in hopes it will shed some light on this long, national, election hacking nightmare. IDK! 

35. Samsung's foldable phone: The wide, glossy screen folds in half for goodness sake. 

Digital hot dog bun.

Image: RAYMOND WONG / MASHABLE

Have fun, everyone!

WATCH: Gaga and Bradley set the meme-osphere and our loins ablaze this week with their Oscar's performance — All the Memes

[springy1000]

One of my friends made me a Jake doll!! And I love him so so much!!! She said she messed up his mouth, but I still love him!!! 😭🥺❤️

Jake: Wow! She made a plush version of me!

Springtrap: No!! They turned him into a marketable plushie that looks like a Coraline doll! Hehehehe!

Jake: ....I fuckin hate you sometimes!

[springy1000]

I made a little sketch of these two!! I love them!!!! Now they are on a sticky note on my drawer hanging there forever!

They are so so so cute! I haven't posted something in a long while, but here I am back after a couple days!

[springy1000]

I made some of my OCs and the puppet out of Acrylic Paint Markers from the tiktok shop!!

Let me tell ya these markers are ligit and awesome!!!

I love how Jakey looks in this one!

[springy1000]

More Jakey and Springtrappy!!!!

Poor Jake is crying, I wonder why?

You'll know why when I post something else later!

I love how Springtrap is so protective over Jake when he's sad, it's so cute!!!

Agghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

[springy1000]

Haven't posted something with Jake for a while so here's this shit post! Lol!

So basically like I've explained in my AU Broken Dreams, John hates his clone, (That's what he calls Jake) He also hates him because of that Plush rabbit down in the corner, because that's John's Dad in Plush form! So basically Jake kept the plush from anyone and everyone because he didn't want him to escape the plush form and hurt anybody!

The Rabbit's name is Shadrow! I believe I've said it before! Idk!

Anywho Jake eventually tells everyone that Shadrows soul aka (John's Dad) is trapped within the Plush, and John goes on a rage, because he thought his father was finally dead, but ended up hearing from Jake that he was still technically alive in the plush!

Also Adrian that asshole that made Shadrow to begin with is looking for the plush to turn Shadrow back to his original form!

Anyways that's it! Have this big ass lore dump and this random drawing!

Peace! ✌🏻