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toracainz · 2 days ago

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Omg 😭😭😭 thank you so much for reading and reblogging 😭😭😭

Your kind words and support mean so much!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!!

Yes Steven and reader are having a time of it 😔😔😔 they both want this to work but they’re so uncertain of how or if it’s going to

They’re so sweet 🥹 from day one they were just two sides of the same nervous coin

Everyone deserves love 😭😭😭 especially the people that think they don’t 😭😭😭 or that they have to earn love 😭😭😭 Steven and Marc need hugs and love and support so bad 😭😭😭

Tell Me Where to Put My Love pt3

You and Steven haven’t been together very long, but that won’t stop either of you from fighting tooth and nail for a chance at a future together.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Series Ao3

Part 2 - Everything I Thought I Knew Has Fallen Out of View

Part 3 - Different Kind of Danger in the Daylight

Part 4 - Unavailability Is The Only Thing That Turns You On

Warnings: Inaccurate depictions of DID (only knowledge from the show and some light research). Swearing. Established relationships. Married relationship. Use of term “priest” in a gender neutral sense. Discussion about cheating. Discussion about homewreckers. Canon typical violence in later chapters. Angst. Fluff.

Word Count: 5k

A/N: Actually had some friends proofread this chapter for me lol hope you all like it!

Sand.

Stars.

Soft breeze.

A structure in the distance.

Panic and uncertainty. You have to reach the structure. Something terrible. Bad. Must hurry.

You struggle to your feet in the shifting sand. Gazing up at the night sky you feel the flutter of the ceremonial priest robes you often don when defending dreamers from vicious nightmares. Looking around you see the vast expanse of a desert, the night sky giving a soft blue-ish, purple hue to the sands. Trudging towards the structure, fighting against the ground beneath you, things seem off.

Am I getting any closer? Is it getting further away? I have to get there. But why? Where am I? Doesn’t matter, I have to get there. Danger. Hurry.

You’re not sure, but the sky seems different. Frozen, but it appears stretched, almost as if it was a picture taken from a moving car. Wait, it's not quite frozen, it’s shifting slowly. Is this how it looked when Steven helped Khonshu move the night sky?

Steven.

Steven’s at the structure. He’s in danger. I have to hurry! Ammit! He’s going to get shot by Harrow, I have to hurry!

You try to run, fumbling through the sand. Is it getting deeper? No, it’s fine, just run. Just as it seems the structure wasn’t getting any closer, suddenly you’re in front of it. The gates to what appear to be a temple. On either side, two incredibly large statues depicting Ammit in her multi-animal form, mouths wide open as if attacking those who get too close.

There.

There he is, standing at the entrance to the temple, about to go inside. Steven!

But, who’s that with him? Is that…?

Layla.

You can’t quite make out her features, but your heart tells you it’s her. You recognize the mane of hair Steven had described. You have to go to them, they need help, Harrow and his men…the hekka priests…Harrow…Ammit.

Now a few steps away from where Steven and Layla stand, they face each other, not noticing your presence. You try to step forward when you’re suddenly grabbed and held in place. A strong arm wraps around your torso pulling you into a firm chest. The other hand, snaking around, grabbing your face harshly, your mouth covered by the large calloused hand, holding your gaze on them. Holding it on Steven and Layla.

“He kissed her. He had you waiting for him and he still kissed her. We don’t need you. He doesn’t need you. We have her. What can you do that she can’t do better?”

Though you’d only heard it once, Marc’s voice now feels like acid being poured in your ear as you struggle against him. Watching as Steven and Layla step closer, embracing each other passionately. You continue to fight and struggle and scream, but you go nowhere and hear nothing.

They’re gone now. All of them. You collapse into the sand, the structure nowhere to be seen.

Alone.

Alone, again, but more so.

Cold. Alone.

A shiver rocks through you. Was it the temperature dropping or your emotions fighting to escape?

You stay there for so long. So, so long. The sand has covered the tops of your legs as you sit there in the sand, letting it consume you.

Warmth. Comfort. Companionship.

The sun just begins to rise on the distant horizon turning the strange night sky into something else. A blanket of pinks, oranges, and magentas begin to spread. You don’t have to look, his presence is strong behind you.

“Why do you allow such visions to play out, child? You have more than enough power to prevent such nightmares.”

Tears. Tears? When did you start crying? You go to wipe them away when his furred hand reaches out to help you up.

“Why torment yourself further, child? You must wak…”

Your puffy and tired eyes struggle to open. With a deep breath and sniffle you begin to rouse yourself back into the waking world. Sitting up felt as difficult as running through the sand had been. Rubbing your eyes you see him there at the foot of your bed, kneeling to be closer.

Tutu.

“There now, child. You mustn’t let such visions torture you. I have taught you before how to dispel such nightmares.”

“I know…I know, I just…”

“Such visions will only drag out the pain. There is nothing that can be done about what has already transpired. We can only move forward now. Which direction you move, is up to you.”

Pulling the blankets off, you sit on the edge of the bed rubbing your head, before grabbing the painkillers and water from your bedside table. You would normally be getting ready for work, and you had tried to do that, but as the day got closer for…her…to arrive the worse you felt, so you called in sick. You really felt sick, nausea, headaches, fatigue. The dreams didn’t help. You hadn’t talked to Steven since that afternoon. Why did that feel so long ago?

“Do I really want to talk to her? I said I wanted to talk about this, but is it worth talking about? He didn’t…sleep with her. He kissed her, but that was still WAY out of line, right?” Wandering your way into the kitchen, Tutu now kneels in the living room. “And what about her? What is she going to think about me? If I go over there will I be walking into a lion’s den? From what Steven told me she can be ferocious and headstrong. And I…I’m not like that. Everything Steven said Layla was, I’m almost the opposite of it. Can I even compete with that?”

You start to make some toast, getting out butter, jelly, and anything else that looks remotely appetizing but won’t upset your stomach.

“I guess I just want to hear her side? I don’t know why, but…ugh!! I just can’t imagine him with someone else!! It hurts more than anything any nightmare has done. He kissed someone else and I still want him…all to myself…God I sound like a selfish child. I should be so furious with him that I never want to see him again but all I want is for him to be here and hold me and tell me everything will be alright. God I’m so…so foolish.”

The god merely hums in response, acknowledging that he’s listening. Oftentimes, talking through your racing thoughts helped to ease the strain they put on your mind. He was more than willing to listen. You didn’t have many friends, a few close friends, but you kept to yourself most of the time. Tutu did not interact with the other gods often either, not like he used to at the height of their reign, you were the closest thing he had to a friend? A companion? You were his avatar yes, but he did enjoy your company, your dreams. He would listen and offer what advice he could as long as you would have him.

With a sigh you plop onto the couch putting on some random cartoon channel just to fill the silence. You nibbled on your makeshift breakfast, thoughts loud in your mind trying to organize your feelings.

“I mean, I still love him right? I was so worried about him when he was gone. Tutu, he died. If he wasn’t an avatar, if…if Layla hadn’t released Khonshu then…he’d still be in that tomb. He’d be gone and I would have never known what happened to him. But he’s here, he’s alive, he’s breathing, and he…the look on his face when he told me, when I told him to leave.” You ate slowly as your stomach began to churn again. Deep breaths, deep, deep breaths. “I still love him. Why else would this hurt so much?”

“Hmm. You feel as though there is nothing to be done. You have accepted that you have lost him again. That this ‘Layla’ has won. If you truly do not want to lose him…then fight.”

Fight.

Could you really? Could you not only fight past your own doubts, feelings, and insecurities to muster up enough courage to fight for him? Was he willing to fight for you? What would a relationship like this look like? Maybe that’s why you wanted to meet with them, to find out. Otherwise you would never know. If you broke up with Steven, oh how that thought hurt, you would never know if this sort of thing could work. You had to go and you would. You hoped you were strong enough.

~*~*~*~

Marc returned to the flat with his lunch, setting it on the counter before going to feed Not Gus and his friend. He sighed looking at his reflection in the tank. It was just him, no one else. Steven hadn’t fronted since that afternoon, he hadn’t really spoken much either. To say Marc was worried would have been to point out the obvious.

“Come on, buddy, say something. Anything.” With a sigh he returned to his lunch, burger and chips. Simple pleasures. Marc turned on the radio trying to find anything worth listening to. He didn’t like the silence. After their experience in the Duat Marc really did like having Steven so close. He truly wasn’t alone, he had someone right there with him. Hard to believe this was how things were before, when Steven didn’t know. Marc would go days, weeks, months without “hearing from” Steven. Other than his own thoughts, things were quiet. Now, that silence was uncomfortable and meant that something was wrong.

Shaking his head he takes out his flip phone he miraculously didn’t lose it like Steven had lost his, but then again Marc was used to going on missions, used to making sure things were secure and where they needed to be (we’re not going to bring up when he dropped the scarab…it wasn’t Steven’s fault). It didn’t take long to land on Layla’s number before putting the phone to his ear. Leaning back in the chair eating a chip, Marc could never get used to calling them that, he listened to the phone ring before he heard her voice.

“Hey, Marc! What? Couldn’t wait any longer to hear my voice?” She smiled into the phone as she finished packing an artifact into a crate motioning to someone that the crate was ready. “We’re almost done here, so I’m on schedule to come back to London. How are things there? You and Steven haven’t tried to kill each other yet have you?”

He chuckled while taking a sip of his soda. “Nah not yet. We’re trying an alternating schedule. Seems to work pretty well, but if either of us plan on getting an honest job we either need a forgiving schedule or figure out a better schedule between us.”

“Well for now it’s good that you too are getting along. Both you and Steven deserve some rest after the nonsense you both have been through.” Tussling her hair she recalled the past few weeks' events. Even with knowing about Marc’s vigilante work as Moon Knight, she would be lying if she said the events that unfolded weren’t unbelievable. After all, she herself had become an avatar and helped to seal an ancient god in the very cultist that had freed her.

“I don’t disagree with you there. But uh…” Marc fell silent. He needed to tell Layla about you and about the upcoming dinner date. He didn’t want her to be blindsided, Layla being backed into a corner would only make her more ferocious. He liked that about her. How she was ready to fight when needed, ready to defend the people she cared about and those that couldn’t protect themselves. Even before the battle in Cairo, Layla had courage to spare.

“Marc? ‘But’ what? What’s wrong? Talk to me…”

She had the patience of a saint, Marc was sure. Layla was willing to give him a second chance and was more than willing to help him figure out how he and Steven could live their lives. Marc hoped she would have the patience for what he was about to tell her.

“Yeah uh…yeah sorry. Um, you remember back when you first met Steven. He mentioned he had a uh…a friend?”

The other side of the line was quiet for a moment, “yes, I remember. Marc, what happened?” Marc could imagine the look on her face. Layla was trying to keep a neutral look despite him not being there in front of her, she had to stay calm…for now. She didn’t need the people around her snooping on her personal business.

“Nothing happened. Nothing, don’t worry about it. I just, well Steven he…” Marc took another swig of his soda, rolling his eyes before looking at the clock. Five o’clock somewhere right? He sighs getting up to go grab a beer from the fridge. “We…he ran into them the other day, told them everything. About me, Cairo, Ammit, Khonshu…the whole thing.”

“Okay, so what happened?”

“Well…Steven‘s been hanging out with them. He uh…left out the part where, well where you and I were still married. He told them the other day and…they were really upset and I haven’t heard from Steven since then.”

Again, silence as she took in the information. She waved off someone she was working with as she turned to find a more private place. Marc couldn’t see it but he could imagine the stern look on her face. “So, what are they still around? Did they break up with him?”

“Um…no. No, they didn’t. Actually, I had invited them over so they could meet you. I did that before Steven came clean about us, but they still seem like they’re willing to come over and meet. I just…well I wanted to give you a heads up.”

“Heads up? Marc, what exactly is going to happen at this ‘meet up’? Is…is Steven wanting to be with them? How would…how does that work? I mean what does that mean for you? For us?”

“That’s what I was thinking we could talk about after you two are properly introduced. I don’t know what will happen or how this will work, but I mean, it’s something…it’s something we need to talk about.”

Layla’s jaw set, nose flaring a bit as she looked around the room biting the inside of her mouth. Eyes blinking wildly as she shook her head. “Yeah I, I guess so. Yeah, alright. We can talk more about it when I get back. I have some more things to handle before I leave…I’ll see you soon, Marc.”

“Yeah, baby. I can’t wait. Be careful okay?”

She scoffed, but Marc could hear her smile. “Don’t worry about me. Talk to you when I get back. Bye, Marc.” With that she hung up leaving Marc in silence again. The radio droning about some sports news or something, he wasn’t paying attention as he sipped on the beer, moving him and his food to the couch.

~*~*~*~

It was past the time Marc usually went for dinner by the time he woke up from his spot on the couch. Dozing off after his lunch wasn’t really a bad way to spend the afternoon. He stretched from his seat on the couch with a groan moving his hair from his face.

“Steven?”

Nothing. All he could do was sigh and…what was that? He thought he saw…he did. Steven’s phone light was blinking. When he turned the phone over he saw a few notifications and a message from you.

[let me know if I should bring something for this dinner]

That was all it said. Marc was excited. Excited? He was surprised but also excited that you were sticking around, at least for now, to give it a shot. You made Steven happy, he couldn’t deny that and not having Steven around last few days really made Marc’s nurturing side go into overdrive.

“Hey, buddy, check it out. They texted you. Sounds like they’re still gonna come over…meet Layla. Come on, Steven, buddy, talk to me.”

Marc waited and waited. With a sigh he started to unlock Steven’s phone when he was suddenly pushed from the front. Steven stared at the message, thumbs twitching over the keyboard. What could he even say? He sat the phone back on the coffee table. Marc was a bit disoriented at first from suddenly being pulled from the front like that, not the first time it’s happened, but still jarring nonetheless.

“Hey, Steven, hey. Just tell them what they can bring or we can go out shopping and tell them not to worry about it.” Marc paused, feeling the heavy dread on his alter’s mind. “Talk to me, Steven.”

“What am I gonna do, Marc? What if they come over and, and just break up with me right in front of you and Layla? I can’t bear it. They hate me, I know they hate me, they should hate me. I’m a git, a right twit betraying their love like I did.”

Marc tried to get a word in while Steven started to self-destruct. He was alone with these thoughts the last few days and Marc was acutely aware of what that was like. “STEVEN!” He snapped, hoping to stun his alter enough to pull him out of his spiral, or at least stop him long enough to try and talk to him. “Listen, Steven, I don’t think they’ll do that. You know them, they’re too nice to do something like that. You heard ‘em, they said they still love you and that text confirms that they want to at least try and see what can be done to fix things and make this all work. I know it’s not the best…but it’s something.”

He nodded, trying to swallow the lump in this throat, tasting the remnant of Marc’s beer and, blegh, his burger. “…yeah…alright.” He paused a moment before picking up the phone with a sniffle. He typed a response, hesitating before hitting send. “Since when are you the voice of reason, hmm?”

[Don’t have to bring anything. I’ll take care of it all. See you then.]

“I’ve always been. You bout pissed our pants in the museum bathroom if I didn’t talk you down.” Marc chuckled, making Steven smile a little.

“In my defense, pissing your pants is a completely valid reaction for a simple gift-shoppist to have when being chased by a giant jackal beast.”

“Sure, Steven. Whatever makes you feel better, bud.”

Steven’s phone buzzes, light flashing.

[See you then.]

Steven let out a held, shaky breath looking at your response. Just those two sentences was enough for him to know you weren’t feeling well and still rightly upset. Steven knew your texting style, it was such a display of your personality. He could always tell how you were feeling by how your messages read. Happy, sad, tired, angry. This string of messages was a combination of emotions that he didn’t blame you for feeling. He knew he had hurt you and he hoped that you would forgive him, or at the very least give him the opportunity to make it right, make it up to you.

You truly were the best thing to happen to him. The way you met wasn’t something you’d see in the movies. It wasn’t exciting or flamboyant in any way. In fact, it was as simple and normal as any other day, perhaps that in itself was why it was so special. He leaned back on the sofa thinking about that time, letting himself smile at the memory.

Steven had been arranging some new knickknacks in their respective place at the gift shop, off in his own world and thoughts. Dreadful weather today, not that surprising for London, but it still didn’t stop bringing down the general mood. He slept like shit again last night and came in late again, shocker. The earful Donna gave him, bringing him down further than the weather already had.

You walked into the gift shop looking at the small trinkets, toys, and the number of other things being sold. You found a necklace that caught your eye, a trinket to look nice on a shelf, and a small plush. You had a day off and despite the rain you wanted to enjoy the day. You took the items over to the counter and watched the man mindlessly stocking shelves. You weren’t in a hurry so you just looked around to see if anything else caught your eye when suddenly-

“Oh bollocks…sorry. Cheers, how’s it going? Sorry about that…wasn’t paying attention.” He began scanning the items. He looked exhausted and downtrodden. You could sympathize with the tired feeling, but smiled at him a gentle and genuine smile.

“Doing alright. Don’t worry about it I’m in no rush. I’ll actually probably do another walkthrough, really take in the grandeur.” You emoted with your hands, still smiling. “Any places I should give extra special attention? Do you have a favorite spot?”

He stared at you honestly dumbfounded you were engaging him in conversation, most people bought their things and left. He handed you the bag and opened his mouth to start going on about his favorite part of the exhibit, but thought better of it. You said you weren’t in a hurry but he was sure you were just being polite.

“Oh uh…yeah, right. You could check out the ‘walkthrough tomb’, people seem to like that one, like walking through an actual tomb…sort of. Plenty of inaccuracies if you ask me.” He scoffed and shook his head slightly. The way his curls bounced and swayed, catching your focus. Despite his earlier self-control Steven began to go on and on about the drawings and how they were pulling art from a number of different tombs so the exhibit itself was rife with inconsistencies. “You would think they would have been more attentive to the details. The art within the tombs was specific to the person interred there. Yes, they depicted the journey to the afterlife, but it also displayed the life of that person. You can’t just mix and match pieces because they look nice.”

You chuckled at his rambling, your gentle smile growing. He clearly had a passion for history and he seemed to share it so readily. At the sound of your laugh he visibly shrunk.

“Sorry…sorry. I do that. Ramble like that, you don’t want to hear-“

“No, I do. Actually. You seem to know your stuff, I only have surface level knowledge at best. Would have never known they messed something up. And I really didn’t mind, I like listening to people, especially when it’s something they're passionate about.” Steven just knew you were just being polite right? Just being nice. “If um…if it’s not too forward? Would you…be free later? You seem really nice and if I’m being honest you’re really cute. If you don’t want to, it's fine, I understand.” You began rambling yourself. Dating wasn’t the most pleasant thing you had experienced, you had your fair share of ghosting and let downs. But you would be lying if you said you weren’t tired of being lonely. Friends and family was one thing, not having a partner was a kind of loneliness that wasn’t easy to fix. So you tried in earnest to be more assertive in your efforts to find that special someone. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.

“What? Am I…free later? Like…like a date? Are you asking me out?” Steven was truly floored. He was just part of the scenery at best, he wasn’t someone that other people took notice of. Especially, not such a kind and downright cute person like you. He just couldn’t believe it. His sceptism however made you double back, of course he’s not interested.

“You know I…I’m sorry. It was forward of me and…it’s not a big deal. Sorry to bother you, uh, thanks for the trinkets.” You lifted the bag with a pained smile starting to turn away to go swallow your pride amongst the mummified bodies, at least they couldn’t judge you.

“Wait…wait! Bloody hell, no wait sorry. Sorry, no it’s not that I’m not free, I’m very free. Incredibly free. No, bollocks, that sounds…really sad don’t it? Of course it does. No, I just…I was surprised is all. Didn’t expect someone like you to…ask me that sort of thing. If I haven’t absolutely flummoxed my chances, I…I’d like to accept.” His heart was pounding as he pleaded and prayed you would still allow him to be in your company.

You looked at him, now yourself stunned by his haste to correct the situation. “Oh uh, great. I mean, no you haven’t flummoxed anything.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at his phrasing. “But, I do have to ask…what do you mean ‘someone like you’?”

The blood rushed to Steven’s face. “Well I just, I just meant that…you’re awfully cute and you just seem like, a genuinely nice person. Didn’t think someone like you would be interested in someone like me.”

“Someone like you? You’re awfully cute yourself you know and…I don’t know, you just seem like someone I would very much like to get to know.” Smiling at him, you pulled out your phone offering it to him introducing yourself. “So, I’ll text you. That way you have my number and you can let me know when you’re free.”

He nodded, his own smile, his own genuinely happy smile appearing on his face as he typed in his number and name handing it back to you. You immediately sent him a message with your name. He pulled his own phone out, giving it a bit of a wave, confirming it was received. “Right, cheers. Yeah, I’ll definitely let you know.”

You nod absolutely beaming as you start out of the gift shop. Looking back to see him still standing there with his own smile, you give him a small wave heading off into the exhibit.

“Laters gators.” He sighed with a wave, watching you disappear. Hard to believe how one moment could turn the whole day around. Steven couldn’t believe it, staring at your name and number and the message just to make sure it was still real. He couldn’t wait to text you later, the thought kept him going, nothing anyone did or said to him the rest of the day could wipe the smile off his face. What he didn’t know was you were feeling the same way.

After that you both started going out on a few dates. Everything felt effortless, too good to be true. That’s why when Steven missed a date with you by a whopping 2 days he resigned himself to a life of being forever single.

“What do you mean? It’s…it’s not, no it can’t be.” He swallowed, or tried to swallow, the growing lump in his throat. “I uh, I’m beyond sorry. I understand if you never want to hear from me again…I wouldn’t want to hear from me. You uh…you take care.”

“Steven! Wait! Wait, hold on don’t hang up!”

“Look I…I get it. I’ll delete your number, you won’t hear from me again.”

“Steven Grant, can I please say something?”

He took in a sharp inhale and tried to clear his throat, fighting back the tears. “Y, yeah alright.”

“Please don’t delete my number. I’m not upset. I mean I was, sure, but then I got worried. I actually tried to text you, but I guess the messages didn’t go through. Are you still at the restaurant?” You almost sounded like you were pleading, like he was at the precipice about to tip over and your words were trying to pull him back.

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. Shit, I really am sorry. This is…this is something that happens sometimes. I have a…a sleeping disorder. I should have told you, I knew this would happen. Bollocks I’m so sorry.” He was struggling to stop the tears as your sweet voice drifted through the phone.

“Hey, no, don't apologize. It’s alright, really. You can’t help it. It’s a sleeping disorder. I don’t sleep walk or anything per say but…I get it. I sleep like absolute shit most nights because I have overly vivid dreams. So, I get the sleep struggle. I’m just glad you’re okay. Listen, it’ll only take me a few minutes to get dressed, I’ll meet you somewhere and we can have our date, yeah?”

“What? You, you really mean that? After I stood you up? You still want to go out?” You just kept surprising him in the best ways.

“Of course. I’m here for you, Steven. And now that I know about the whole sleepwalking thing, if this happens again, I’ll know why. I don’t know what I would be able to do about it, but I’ll know. And I’ll be here for you when you get back. I promise.” You had put the phone on speaker while you get dressed, nothing too fancy, some nice jeans and top that made you feel attractive and confident. Hurrying out the door you heard Steven sniffle.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“You didn’t have to do anything, Steven. Everyone, including you, deserves love and happiness and everything that comes with it.” You locked the door and hurried out of your flat.

Love.

Was it too early to say that three word sentence? Maybe, but the both of you, unknowingly, felt it. Felt the weight of that word. You might not say it tonight, but it would happen soon. Both of you asking if it’s mental to have fallen so quickly, both of you agreeing it didn’t matter because there couldn’t be any other way to describe how you made each other feel.

Yeah. Love. And he feared more than anything that he had thrown it all away. That you would no longer freely give him your love or would let him give you his. He loved you. With every fiber of his being.

There was no other way to describe it.

Love.

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#thanks so much for reading!!#thanks so much for the reblog!!#steven grant #steven grant x reader #moon knight #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight fanfic #marc spector #jake lockley #layla el faouly #khonshu #marc spector x layla el faouly #tell me where to put my love

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