#jaeminangst

[cherrygyusworld]

[7:29 pm] (n. jm)

cherrygyusworld

please don’t copy or rewrite/post as your own. none of the following images are mine; copyright goes to owner! if you’d like to take this idea and use it, that’s fine, but I’d ask that you don’t make the scenario exactly the same and use a different layout. enjoy!

summary | you’re mentally exhausted of dating jaemin, but he just can’t seem to accept the fact that you two need to let go of each other. 

 category | nonidol!au, angst, sad, breakup!au

warnings | breakup, mentions of cheating, crying, broken promises, leaving, arguments 

 word count | 960

pairing | njm x fem reader

You sighed as you folded away the last of your clothes, staring into the empty wooden bottom of the closet drawer. You and Jaemin had build it yourselves the moment you'd decided to move in together. It was a huge step, but at the time, you couldn't have been happier.

Now, the emotions were dull and barely alive. It felt like your relationship was broken, almost suffocating. You didn't know when it began to fall apart. All you knew was that one day, the spark was just lost. Maybe it was when he decided to start going out more often and hitting on other girls. Maybe it was when you had accepted a promotion, causing you to be out of the house more often. Maybe it was just because you two weren't meant for each other at all.

You'd tried numerous times to leave. But in the end, it just wasn't possible.

The familiar sound of distant footsteps and jangling keys grew closer to  your apartment door. Closing your eyes softly, you felt tired of the upcoming argument already. Jaemin was stubborn and would never agree to simply let you go, but it was the only option left. You bent down, heart heavy, and zipped up the suitcase.

"Y/n, I'm home!" Jaemin's sweet voice filled your ears, sing-songy and happy. Was he truly happy, though? You shook your head out of your thoughts just as the bedroom door opened and Jaemin walked in with a marvelous smile. His eyes first went to you, looking distraught, and then down at the bags and the messy floor. His smile dropped.

"W-What are you doing, baby?" He hurriedly walked into the room, eyes already glossy. He looked down at the suitcase. "Y/n?"

"I'm leaving." You whispered, voice hoarse.

Jaemin shook his head, tears dripping down his cheeks. "No, no you're not." He muttered to himself, and quickly took the suitcase and shoved it into the corner of the closet. He scooped up all the remaining clothes off the floor and threw them on the bed, then shut the door immediately, as though you were going to bolt off into the distance while he was distracted.

You let out a burdened sigh. "Jaemin, we can't do this anymore. I'm tired of all of it." You said, rubbing your eyes.

Jaemin shook his head even more furiously, only keeping his teary eyes on you. He walked to the door and stood in front of it, arms spread out. "You can't leave. No. We're meant to be with each other, remember?"

You started to silently cry, remembering all the broken promises he'd made. How he would stay by your side forever, take your hand in marriage someday. How beautiful your family would look, how people would stare at you two enviously. You were tempted to run into his arms and just stay there forever, but those thoughts died when reality hit you again.

How you two had stayed up late at night on each side of the bed, facing the other direction and feeling uneasy. Knowing that he was texting another chick as he smiled to himself giddily in the living room, or how he made up quick excuses about hanging out with the boys to walk out. Arguing for hours when you two were together, not knowing the last time you'd peacefully and lovingly gone out on a date with him. You'd had your fair shares of beautiful memories, yes, but it was simply time to move on.

Jaemin, on the other hand, couldn't seem to understand. He desperately took your hands, looking into your hollow eyes. "Y/n, remember that time when we first met? You looked so pretty in your white shirt and jeans, but I accidentally spilled coffee all over you. And we met again later at the hospital, and I had no idea you worked there. We began to hang out more, and a few days after your college graduation, I asked you to be my girlfriend under our oak tree in the park."

That oak tree had died a week ago, too old and beaten down to hold on any longer. Just like your love.

Jaemin didn't let go of your hands. "Remember when we went on our first official date? The carnival. You said you wanted your first date to be special, not some boring movie dinner date thing. And afterwards, you said it was the best thing you'd ever been to. I had sugar all over my face and you even convinced me to buy you strawberry cake." You couldn't meet his eyes.

"Y-Y/n, remember when you met my parents for the first time? They loved you--they still do. They were impressed that you were all alone by yourself with barely any family, yet struggling and making a living off of working numerous jobs a-and doing well as a medical trainee. They were so supportive and so happy when you made it through."

You slowly looked into his eyes, about to start breaking down. Jaemin, shook his head, pleading. "Y/n, remember how much I love you? I'll stay by your side forever. I promise. I'll do whatever you ask of me. Please. I need you."

But Jaemin just stared into your eyes, heart sinking as he saw how bleakly they stared back into his. Hollow, emotionless, faded and worn out. You were gone. You'd given up on him.

Jaemin collapsed to the ground, shaking with quiet sobs. He knew. He knew that he'd messed up and it was time for him to let go.

The only thing he heard was the soft cry you let out before covering your mouth, then the heavy footsteps walking out the door, followed by the sad rolling of suitcase wheels.

You were gone.

[milkyghiblies]

Chamomile -  Na Jaemin Royalty! AU (prologue)

Summary: Rainy days, whispered conversations, and a secret hidden within the great palace walls. War, friendship, and romance.

Genre: fluff, angst(?)

Hello:) This is my first time posting on this handle and I have no idea how anything works apparently :”)) But uhh I’ve been aching to write a fic for Jaemin ever since I read @jaeminlore​ ‘s Adventure series<3

I hope she sees this uwu.

You lay back on the cold, metal garden chair, which stood on the shaded patio, keeping it away from the rain. You loved the rain, and everything about it. The cool, misty air it brought, and the sound it made against your dingy tin roof.

It had been a week since you arrived from boarding school. Your parents were always busy as court herbalists, so sending you off was the best they could do. As much as you wanted to resent them for that, you tried your best to understand. The kingdom was at war, and the army needed as much medical care as possible. Your parents worked on remedies,tonics, pills, and solutions based off of anything they could find from the ground. They were hardworking and resourceful, and you admired them for that.

“Hello, my little Moonflower.”

“Hi, Dad.” You smile, watching him place a glass tea set on the patio table. “Chamomile tea. Your mother made it this morning.” You thank him and take a sip. “This is good!” Your father smiles. “We dried the flowers last month and saved them for you.” Your parents always knew you had a liking for tea. They’d always send a new kind every month when you were at school to remind you of home. But Chamomile was your favorite. Chamomile was home.You’d wake up to the smell of it every morning when you were younger. It reminded you of the chilly mornings you’d spend wrapped around the warm crochet blanket your grandmother made you. You sink in the atmosphere, before turning to your father, who was basking in the view as well. “Are you expected at the palace today?” You ask, hoping he’d say no.

“Unfortunately,” Your father sighs. “The Crown Prince and his battalion had just arrived yesterday night. Most of them are badly injured.” You wince a bit. “Do you think we have a shot at winning this war? I mean--we’re allied with The Eastern Isles, surely their military power gives us an advantage.” Your father could only shrug. “The weather in the Warland is different from here, it’s incredibly unforgiving. The  best thing we can do right now is pray our troops withstand it.”

“Why don’t they ever send the other prince?”

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[milkyghiblies]

Chamomile - Na Jaemin Royalty! AU (chapter one)

Summary: Rainy days, whispered conversations, and a secret hidden within the great palace walls. War, friendship, and romance.

Genre: fluff, angst(?)

Lowkey have mixed feelings about this chap,, but here it gOes ig://

Also please notify me if you want to be added to the taglist !

“You mean the Faceless Prince?” 

You quirk an eyebrow. “That’s what they call him?” Your father nods. 

“That boy is a mystery,” you lean towards him, intrigued. “The royal family hasn’t given the kingdom the slightest clue about him. We’ve never seen his face or heard of his name.”

 You set your empty cup on its saucer’ “How odd.” Your father nods in agreement. 

“Why do you think he’s hidden?” You couldn't help but pry your father more about this ‘Faceless Prince’. He grunts, rising from his seat. “There are many rumours about it actually, but most say it’s because he was deformed at birth.”

“Oh,” You couldn’t help but sound disappointed. The image of a dreamy, mysterious prince immediately disperses from your head. It sounded too much like a cliche anyway. Maybe you should have refrained yourself from reading all those romances Sister Thea would scold you about. “Scandalous and brain-washing”, she’d call them. She caught you in the garden once, reading a copy of Pride and Prejudice. You had never seen such red in a  person's face.

She immediately snatched the book from you and threw it into the fishpond.

“Sister Thea!” You cried, running over to where she flung your book, only to find it fully submerged in the water. “Those books will never do you any good!” She grabs you by the arm and drags you to the headmistress’s office. It was a long week of cleaning after that. 

“How unfortunate.” You finally managed to say.

Your father nods again, taking out his pocket watch to check the time. “Well, me and your mother best be going now. All the herbalists and medics are expected at the palace by noon.” You shake off your thoughts and give him a small smile. “Okay, see you at dinnertime.” HE smiles back, then makes his exit. Leaving you with the rain, and the faint scent of Chamomile tea wafting in the air.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

It had been a month now, since you arrived from boarding school. 

War was still stirring, and more people were getting hurt. This meant that your parents were usually more out of the house than in. You spent most days in bed, snoozing the loneliness away. 

It was about five in the morning when you woke up, the sound of the kitchen faucet running meant that somebody was home.

“Mom?” You rub the sleepiness off your eyes and offer her a small wave. “Goodmorning dear, did you sleep well?” She pulls out a kitchen stool for you. “Mmhm.” You answer.

“Less patients today?” She shakes her head. “Still the same amount, but we have less coming in.” 

“They say the war’s ending soon.”

“It should.” You sigh. “The war has been going on almost all my life.”

You peer through the kitchen window. The sky was starting to darken. The small voice in you hoped for rain.

“We just have to be thankful we don't live by the Warland. I got a telegram from your Aunt Norma saying they evacuated.” 

“Seeing the damage it’s caused really breaks my heart, you know.” She lifts the lid from the pot the rice was boiling in,releasing hot steam that immediately nipped at both of your faces. You stood up to help her with the plates. “We have a couple shell-shocked patients as well. Poor things… who knows what they’ve seen.” 

You and your mother eat in silence. Nothing but the sound of silverware clattering against porcelain. The silence goes on for a while, until you get an idea.

“Do you need an assistant at the clinic?” 

“What?” Your mother says immediately. “Well I can help with inventorying since I heard you complaining about it last night.” Your voice trails off once you look at the expression on your mother’s face. It was too unreadable. 

“So is that a no?”

“Moonflower, you’re an angel.”

“What?”

“I have been trying to get out of inventory all week!” She takes your hands in hers and gives you a big smile. “You can write records for me while I help the patients!” The enthusiasm in her voice almost made you regret your offer. 

Was inventorying that bad?

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