#jacob bae x y/n
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꒰ 𝐋'𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐄 ꒱ 배준영
summary : you were tired and not feeling well because of your period, just wanting to go to bed—so, your boyfriend helps you shower
genre : fluff, jacob x afab!reader, established relationship tws : they’re in the shower (but no weird shit), language(?), skinship, kissing, mentions of periods/cramps (described as being gross, but only by reader), domestic fluff as hell (i mean AS HELL), they’re in love your honor, not proofread author notes : i’m baccckkkk (?) word count : 1k
you had just gotten off of work, finally making it home through the traffic; stressed out, tired and not feeling well. you had barely gotten through the door, barely gotten your shoes off and barely put your purse down before flopping onto your couch. you nozzled into the plush side, eyes shutting instinctively. the vague scent of home that lingered throughout your apartment was comforting, and you swear you could drift off into dreamland promptly.
and that you did, only being woken up by your boyfriend who had also just gotten back from work (really, practice). “baby,” his hand rested against your cheek, “you gotta wake up.” you grumbled in response—but too sleepy to protest further. “let’s at least get ready for bed, okay?”
then jacob was gripping your sides, ragdolling you (gently) to turn over, your fingers grabbed his forearms. at least the movement woke you up enough to be coherent.
“baby, did you just get back?” you said through a yawn, “was practice okay?”
“yes, my love,” he sat you up, kissing the side of your head, “was work?”
you hummed, remembering the less-than delightful memories from earlier in the day. “no…” you trailed off, swinging your legs over the side of the couch and getting up. “did you eat?”
“i did, but don’t change the subject. do you want to talk about it?”
“i was just so stressed with my workload. and, my cramps are killing me—i started my period, but at least it was during my lunch break.”
“do you want to shower then?” he asked, helping you stand. “i can help yo–”
“no!” your eyes shot open, awakening you fully, “that’s kinda gross, don’t you think?”
he hummed sweetly, “never, love. i find nothing about you gross, okay?”
“are you sure?” you pouted out a lip, however instead of responding verbally, he just kissed said lip quickly. “fine, but i warned you it’ll look like a slasher movie.” you pointed.
your boyfriend laughed, taking your extended index finger and putting it down. “good thing your favorite genre is thrillers.”
“shut up.” you lightly hit his chest.
“and, frankly, i could probably use a shower, anyways. we’ll save water.” you huffed, “go start it and i’ll find that hoodie you always want to wear, okay?”
and, you were never the person to refuse such a tempting offer—you were also too tired to care about the trivial details that he let go.
once inside the bathroom, you twisted the handles, letting the water run to the right temperature. the humidity filled the room and warmed your skin. you stepped in, the gentle pattern soothing your tensed muscles (that you’d eventually gotten used to throughout the day).
your eyes started to close, body leaning against the tile when the sound of the door awoke you. you felt his hand slide to your hip, chest lightly touching your back as you shared the stream. if he wasn’t the embodiment of comfort, then you weren’t sure what ever would be.
and if you wouldn’t drown as the result, you would’ve thrown your head back and rested it in the nape of his neck.
wordlessly he started to wash your hair, simultaneously giving you a scalp massage—you hadn’t realized how much tension you were holding until it released little by little. your knees felt weak, heart swelling at the little action. he then helped you wash your body, like he said he would, not caring about your monthly torcher that washed down the drain.
he placed his soft hands on your shoulders, pulling you back fully against him, “hey, lean against me if it’s too hard.”
“i’m sorry, i don’t know—i’m just so tired today, jacob.”
his arms snaked around your hips, resting against your lower stomach as he hugged you. “don’t be sorry,” he whispered, tone laced with nothing but honesty, “i understand.” and you both knew that he’d still take care of you even if you were fully awake. “i’ll get you some medicine for your cramps, then we can go to bed.”
“can we watch that stupid dating show again, i think it’s so funny.”
another kiss landed on your temple, “sure, you know i’d do anything for you.”
“let’s go before i actually fall asleep standing up.” you hummed a laugh breathily, “then i won’t be able to watch it at all, a tragedy really.”
he started a reply, “i’d stand all nigh—“ before you interrupted.
“romeo oh romeo! where art thou, romeo? l'amour de ma vie! i feel like such a princess, my knight in shining—well actually, you’re not wearing any armor…”
“oh shut up, babe,” he taunted, “you love me.”
“yeah, i do. armorless and all.”
he helped you out of the shower with soft giggles and little struggle. then dried you off, letting you dress yourself halfway as he toweled himself. he of course wanted to be the one to pull the hoodie over your head for some strange reason.
once you were both fully clothed again, smelling of soap and love, the comforting silence broke. you were brushing your teeth when he finally admitted, “i could spend my entire life like this, you know.”
jacob had said a lot of things throughout the time you’ve been dating, but nothing has ever made you blush so hard; cheeks borderline as red as cherries.
“you just look so pretty… in my clothes, doing mundane tasks. i don’t know, i could marry you right now.”
you still had toothpaste coating your lips, sort-of brushing when you replied, “maybe you should.” looking up at him through the mirror, “i’d say yes, by the way.”
he looked as if he took a mental note—but, it was never a secret. not even a guess. you’d follow him until the ends of the earth, and be by his side buried in a stone garden until time ran out. if you had it your way, you’d be together in each other's arms until the planet collapsed from the solar system. he was the only person you could ever look at, and the only one you ever wanted to look at you.
you were forever thankful for the angels that let him go, because now he was yours.
eternally.
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cece’s note repost from my other account pt. one so if u think uve seen this u probably have lmao ‧ pairing jacob bae x reader ‧ genre user ceebit smut debut… ‧ wc pls don’t ask me questions i can’t answer
“keep your eyes ahead. you know i don’t like repeating myself.”
you’re trying. and you know he knows, eyes trained on your every move for the past hour, but his words still bite. a whimper falls past your lips, low in sound as you fight to keep from looking away.
because the sight in front of you is sinful. his smile his faint, expression easygoing as always, but the more your gaze travels downward, the more the coil just below your stomach threatens to snap. your following exhale is broken, and he hums something soft in acknowledgment.
his shirt brushes against bare skin and you’re reminded about the state of your undress—and you look away from the mirror with something akin to embarrassment. jacob tuts lowly, lips brushing just shy of your ear when he frowns, and sighs quietly.
“you never learn,” he mutters, free hand moving to gently turn your head back forward. “what am i going to do with you?”
you sniffle quietly, lips parted to give some kind of an answer you think he might be willing to accept, but his fingers curl right when you take a breath and you lungs wheeze out something strangled instead.
“that’s new,” he notes, pleasant surprise written across his features. your head spins and spins and spins. “didn’t know you could do that.” do it again, is the underlying meaning, and a few tears slide down your cheeks.
you know he doesn’t mean to make you cry. jacob is far from the kind to even exude any kind of anger towards you—patience personified, you sometimes claim—but to put toying with your emotions behind closed doors beneath him? his touch deliberate even in front of others?
you’ve made that mistake more than once. he’s right, you know. you haven’t learned, but he’s more than happy to push and prode and take until it sticks.
“close—please.” voice warbled, fresh tears fill your waterline the more his relentless pace keeps up. he only hums faintly in response, seemingly amused by your weak attempts at closing your legs. “can i—i need—”
“go ahead.”
your body sags against his with relief, nails digging into his arms as words you’re sure are well off coherency spill past your lips. static buzzes in your ears against the heightened feeling of denied orgasms past—god, please the only thing you hear your voice turned hoarse plead almost pathetically.
he takes pity on you. like he always does, thumb swiping over your clit the same moment his lips brush against your neck, grazing the skin ever so softly, and oh—something white hot lights a spark up your entire spine. you think you might be crying but you can’t feel anything but his hands and the slow expanse of your lungs desperately trying to suck in air.
“pretty,” he coos, voice low at a whisper, and you can only duck your head and try to catch your breath.
previous work : someday, l. hyunjae
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#shua’s archive#olesse no one perceive Me.#tbz x reader#tbz x you#tbz x y/n#tbz smut#jacob bae#jacob x reader#jacob x you#jacob x y/n#tbz#the boyz x reader#the boyz x you#the boyz x y/n#the boyz smut#jacob smut
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be my only one | jacob bae
• pairing: ex!jacob x gn!reader
• word count: 3.7k words
• genre: exes to lovers, angst, fluff, non-idol jacob, non-idol tbz members, there is also a mention of non idol joshua because why not🤷🏾♀️
• rating: PG
• warnings: jacob makes the executive decisions in that make him and reader sad, the sad parts are pretty sad guys, BUT IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!!!!, make out sesh also
• tagging: @deoboyznet
• notes: based off of leehi’s only (love that song so much! a favorite of mine) ex jacob trying to rekindle the flame with the only person he wants to be with! WELL WE LOVE THAT!!!!! i didn’t bother to have anyone beta read this because i feel as though we’ve collectively all waited long enough as a group. BANNA BANNA BY @daemour (thank you so much love🩵) THE ENDING IS SO FUCKING BAD OH MY GOD WHY AM I SO SHIT AT WRITING ENDINGS.
If Jacob had to pinpoint the exact moment his life went to shit, it would have to be when he lost you. You were his world, his life. Hell, Jacob would go as far as to say you made up his entire existence. There was no reason to go on if you weren’t there, no reason to wake up in the morning if he didn’t get to see you first. You were single-handedly the only reason Jacob continued on this planet. All the bullshit, violence, corruption, politics. He could ignore all of it when you were around.
To Jacob you were what the sun revolved around. Screw the solar system, screw space, screw NASA. The universe’s entire makeup was created specifically for you in his eyes.
Jacob only knew how to treat you like a delicate flower. He was the gentleman type. Constantly opening doors, lifting heavy objects, carrying the groceries in the house in one trip (which he was positive he could do each time until he tripped over one of his shoes the last time and face-planted). He wanted to be your knight in shining armor, and he was. Always coming to your rescue and supporting you in everything that you did. So, when you came to him that one day, almost three years into your relationship, to rave about getting the dream job opportunity you had been working so hard for, he was ecstatic. Jacob was so proud of you. This was what you had worked so hard for. All the late nights, plans canceled (something Jacob never let you feel bad about), the constant studying, numerous tests. It was all for this big moment.
The happiest moment of his life was finding out you were getting everything you wanted.
“I did it Cobie! I did it! I got the job.” You said excitedly, handing him the acceptance letter.
You were too caught up in your own excitement and emotions to notice Jacob’s dark eyes scaling the acceptance letter. He was particularly locked into the almost two year internship that would bring you across the ocean, away from your home, from your friends and family. More importantly, away from him. Jacob couldn’t be bothered to say anything. He would never want to take this moment from you, so he bit his tongue.
The next time you saw all your friends, you raved about the job opportunity, making everyone buzz with anticipation. They knew how hard you had worked, Jacob had kept them all filled in whether they liked it or not. Sangyeon suggested a party before you left to celebrate.
A going away party.
Jacob hated those words. He didn’t want you to go away, whether it was your dream job or not. He wanted you to stay with him forever. Jacob wanted to tell you that the job he had was enough to support the both of you. He worked hard so that you wouldn’t have to, but that would be selfish. That would make Jacob everything he’s really not. When it comes to you, though, he wants to be the most selfish person on the planet. He couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t. That wouldn’t be fair to you, and all the work you put into this.
The party came quickly. Jacob was heartbroken. Because the party meant you left quicker. You had noticed a change in his mood, the closer the party got. His attitude had changed so drastically that you hadn’t seen him in almost a week when the party arrived due to him staying with his friend Kevin. You weren’t sure what the issue was, why was the love of your life acting this way. You needed to talk to him about your leaving, you needed to reassure him everything was going to be okay. Jacob wasn’t giving you the opportunity, though.
Everyone arrived at yours around 6. Food, drinks, and lots of storytelling are what the night entailed, but it was hard to enjoy anything with your better half keeping a football field length distance between the two of you all night. Eventually, enough was enough. You watched two of your young neighbors pull Jacob into the kitchen to get him a drink, clearly trying to convince the older boy that alcohol will temporarily solve his bad mood. As you stood, you were stopped by Kevin.
“Jacob has been spending a lot of time at my place.” He said, leaning in close to speak into your ear so you’d be able to hear him over the bustling noise of your party.
You looked at the boy with sad eyes. “He won’t talk to me. I’m assuming this is because I’m leaving.”
“Can’t get anything past you, huh?” Kevin teased in an attempt to lighten the mood.
You frowned as you stepped away from him, heading towards the kitchen to hopefully rescue a sober Jacob before Sunwoo and Eric got him too plastered. This impending conversation would need to be done sober.
Jacob was in somewhat better spirits when you located him in the kitchen. He was sandwiched between the two boys, and they were all laughing about something, you weren’t sure what.
“Jacob,” You spoke softly, so softly that Sunwoo and Eric didn’t hear. Jacob did, though. He always did.
Jacob let his eyes slowly trail up and down your body. You always looked so effortlessly beautiful. He was so enamored with you, it wasn’t even funny. Your call out to him by his full name was a distress call. You were upset, you were bothered, and he was the cause of it. Jacob hated that. He hated making you upset. Jacob was a very sensible person, he wasn’t one to fret too easily on things. He was a very good communicator. So for him to leave you in the dark for days was uncharacteristic of him. He just needed time to process everything.
Jacob cleared his throat in a sign for the two younger boys to make themselves scarce in the kitchen. He was buzzing on account of the two shots they had managed to get into his system, but he was still sober enough to have a conversation with you. The conversation.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Stupid question. He knew the answer, so why ever ask.
Your eyes rushed to his, darting back and forth as a look of confusion crossed over your face. “Okay? Okay? Why would I be okay when my boyfriend has been avoiding me for a week?”
Jacob flinched at your frustrated tone. Your voice had raised just slightly, loud enough to echo off the white kitchen walls decorated with gold accents, but not loud enough to stop the party that was still going strong hours later.
“I just need time.” Jacob said quietly.
You shrugged, throwing your hands in the air in the process. “Time for what? Time to not talk about our feelings and process things together?”
Jacob sighed. “You’re leaving.”
“Which we knew would happen if I got the internship.” You countered.
“Yeah. But I was expecting like six months, not sixteen. You’re going to be gone for almost two years.” Jacob raised his voice this time.
Long gone was the boy you fell in love with. This was a whole new Jacob that clearly had formed in the week that he was avoiding you. His statement had filtered out of the kitchen, catching the ears of passerby’s. Some stopped by the kitchen doors to crack it open and eavesdrop. It was rare that the two of you fought, opting to keep any issues you had behind closed doors so this was new territory to your friends.
You chuckled to yourself. “Jacob, I didn’t know the internship was going to be that long. Nor did I know they would be sending me all the way across the globe. I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“I am happy for you, but you can’t expect me to not be upset that the love of my life is going to be leaving.”
Tears began to prickle the corners of your eyes. You had never seen Jacob like this before, he had never spoken to you in such a stern tone. You weren’t sure what to do, but you just wanted to make him feel better.
“Okay, so I’ll give it up then. I won’t go. I wouldn’t be able to focus anyway if my boyfriend is heartbroken over the fact that I’m not with him.” You said.
By this time the music had stopped, people were listening in, or standing outside the now open kitchen door, watching.
“You don’t have to do that. And I won’t let you.” Jacob said.
Kevin had pushed his way through the crowd, almost knowing exactly what Jacob was going to say next, as he tried to stop the boy.
“I’m not going to let you give up your dream job for me. I would never let you do that.” Jacob began.
“Hey, maybe we should all just take a breather.” Kevin chimed in softly.
“I’m breaking up with you.” Jacob said quietly.
Your eyes widened at his statement. “What?”
Jacob looked down at his worn sneakers, the same ones you gifted him when you first started dating. The same sneakers you would always tell him you’d buy a new pair because no amount of washing was going to make them look better.
“I’m not letting you give this up for me. And if you won’t be able to focus knowing I won’t be able to function without you, then I’ll make the decision simple. No reason for you not to go if there isn’t a reason to stay.”
You took a step towards the boy, grabbing his hand as you sniffled. “Jacob, please. Don’t do this.”
Slowly, he pulled his hand from yours.
“It’s already done. Party’s over.”
That was the last thing Jacob had said to you before you left for your internship. He didn’t want to make the situation harder than it had to be, so he didn’t go with you to the airport. Your shared friends were not pleased by this. A final opportunity to see each other, and Jacob chose to let you leave on your own. No goodbye, no see you soon, no I love you. None of this was like Jacob, like your Jacob. You decided to just let bygones be bygones. You decided to suck it up, and you left.
The first few months were the hardest. You missed Jacob terribly. You avoided Chinese restaurants and frozen yogurt stores. Botanical gardens and zoos were a no go. Jacob felt the same way. Every little thing reminded him of you. What he didn’t realize was that eventually you became numb to the pain. You had to push on, even if you didn’t want to.
When you got your first promotion during your internship, you had to resist the overwhelming urge to call him. One because he was in a totally different timezone than Los Angeles, and two because you weren’t together anymore. You did call Kevin and Sangyeon, though. And they made sure to inform Jacob of your successes. Jacob couldn’t have been happier for you. Everything was working out for you. You updated Kevin and Sangyeon whenever you could on anything new and exciting while you were in the states. It became a habit to talk to them, and it was no longer because you knew they would tell Jacob. It was because you just wanted to tell someone about what’s going on. You made new friends, started going out again. From Jacob’s heard perspective, you were happy. That was good enough for him. Sort of.
The sixteen month internship went by fast. Before you knew it, it was time to come back home. Jacob had managed to make it an almost full two years without you. He clearly was not the same. He hid himself away, and didn't like going out with friends. It got to the point that Kevin and Sangyeon stopped updating him about you, because they refused to feel sorry for him anymore.
Jacob knew his friends well enough to know that they had been visiting you when you got back home. They probably weren’t telling him to spare his feelings, but he just wished they’d let him know how you were. He wanted to know everything. If you had changed, if you were going to go back to the states, if the internship was everything you had hoped it had been or more. He wanted, no, needed to see you. Thus came his chance.
“A party?” Jacob asked softly, staring down at the takeout Kevin had brought him.
Kevin shook his head with a shrug. “It’s more like a welcome home dinner. No heavy alcohol, no loud music. Just friends catching up with a friend. You should be there, Cob. We’d all want you there.”
Jacob looked up from his food. “We?”
Kevin nodded, giving Jacob a reassuring smile. “We.”
To say Jacob was nervous would be a vast understatement. He was pretty sure he was sweating from places he didn’t know he could sweat from. Everyone was already at the restaurant Kevin had picked for dinner. There was talking and laughing, hugging, some people notably crying. Jacob was greeted warmly by his friends, and for the first time in almost two years a genuine smile made its way to his face. He sat down next to Kevin, joining into the conversation before someone spoke.
“Look who’s here!”
Heads turned to the doorway of the back room everyone was in, and Jacob felt time stop. You looked ethereal, stunning. Your hair had grown. Your style had even changed, but you. You were still you. You still looked like you did when you left. A smile was adorning your round face. The bubbly pep in your step had Jacob smiling to himself. There was a slight flush on your face, most likely from the uncharacteristically warm weather outside. You were looking around, being pulled in every different direction imaginable by friends greeting you. That was until you saw him. When your eyes met, Jacob felt fireworks go off in his stomach. He had never felt so jittery in his life. It was like he had drunk the world's biggest and strongest red bull. A small smile made its way across your full lips as you lifted your hand, giving Jacob a small wave. Jacob returned it.
He stood up to greet you, ready to give you a hug and feel you in his arms again, but you were intercepted by Sunwoo and Eric. Jacob could only laugh. Of course the two youngest of your friends managed to get to you first. You let out a loud laugh as they tackled you, and butterflies bloomed in Jacob’s stomach this time. The sound of your laugh brought back so many memories that Jacob became glued to his spot. He watched the rest of your shared friends get up and greet you, hugging you tightly as if you’d dare to even leave again. It wasn’t until a tall figure appeared behind you that Jacob was eventually pulled back down to Earth. For the first time since you walked in the room all but five minutes ago, Jaocb’s eyes weren’t on you. Rather they were on the person, the man, who showed up behind you.
You stepped back from everyone and looked at the boy. He smiled at you before giving everyone else a smile as your friends warmly greeted him.
“This is Joshua! He was my roomie in the states. I figured I would bring him back so he could meet some of my favorite people.” You told everyone.
Jacob watched the way you two were looking at each other. He couldn’t read the look on your face, apparently you had gotten really good at masking your emotions while in the states. He was able to get a good read on Joshua’s face, though. The look he knew all too well, because he would give you the exact same look. You both managed to make your way through the sea of friends and sit at the large table set up for your party.
You ended up being seated right next to Jacob. Joshua sat across from you and was able to be bombarded by Kevin and your other friend Chanhee to tell his life story. This gave you an opportunity to give Jacob a look over before speaking.
“Hi Cobie.” You whispered softly.
As always, Jacob heard you. You could be a million miles away, and he would still hear you. You just had that effect on him.
He looked at you, finally getting an up close look and felt his breath catch in his throat. You looked perfect.
“Hi.”
A smile made its way to your face at the sound of his voice. “How have you been?”
Jacob smiled back. “I’ve been good.”
Jacob ended the conversation there, much to your dismay. He didn’t want to get into how he had been while you were gone. The truth is, he hadn’t been good at all. In fact, he had been an absolute wreck. He felt like he was trying to function without one of his limbs. He didn’t want to ruin your dinner, though.
The night went by smoothly. Everyone seemed to get along well with your friend, if that’s what he was that is. Jacob mainly kept to himself. Only getting a moment of silence when he excused himself to use the restroom. Kevin followed the boy, stopping him at the restroom door as he looked over Jacob.
“So are you two going to talk or just ignore each other the whole night?”
Jacob shook his head. “We have talked.”
Kevin scoffed. “That’s not what I meant. There are unresolved issues that need to be fixed. I’ll lock the both of you in the closest until they are.”
Jacob let out a sigh, knowing the boy was right. He sulked on the way back to the table, catching your eye in the process. He sat in silence for a moment, feeling your gaze on him. You let out a sigh before laying your hand on his arm.
“Maybe we should talk.”
Jacob looked at you as he nodded. You both stood up to excuse yourselves and headed for the entrance. When you both got outside, the silence of the dark night sky greeted you both. The moonlight cast shadows across your face that made your features pop. Jacob probably said this every time he saw you, but he was still convinced he had never seen you look more beautiful than you did in this moment.
“How were the states?” Jacob asked, breaking the silence first.
You smiled, turning to him as you tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “It was amazing. I learned so much. Made new friends, experienced new things. I missed home, though.”
Jacob nodded. “You missed your friends.”
A small nod followed his statement. “I missed you, Jacob.”
The boy could only look at you before finally letting it all out. “I’ve missed you. So much. You remember earlier you asked me how I was doing. I told you I’m doing okay, but the truth is, I’ve been absolutely terrible. I literally just got back into a healthy eating and sleeping routine again. When you went to the states, you took a piece of me with you. I never wanted to leave our, I mean, my apartment. I stayed inside all the time. I practically became a recluse. I turned down every offer to go out and spend time with friends. Kevin even tried inviting my family, but it was enough. I thought I would be able to handle ending our relationship. I would never want to hold you back and when you mentioned giving up your internship just to make me happy, I panicked. I was afraid you’d end up resenting me in the long run. I figured I might as well break up with you, because I knew you would leave. There would be nothing to keep you here.”
“You’re wrong.” You whispered.
Jacob gave you a confused look. “I am?”
You chuckled. “Yes. I’ve always had a reason to not leave home, and it’s you Jacob. It’s always been you.”
You stopped only to open your mouth and then close it again just so you could formulate your feelings correctly. “Jacob, I learned a lot about myself while I was in the states. I learned a lot about myself as a person, and I learned a lot about what I want in my life and my career. A lot of things changed for me for the better while I was away, but the one thing that didn’t change was the strength of my feelings for you. The love I have for you, how in love with you I am, that never once wavered. I didn’t even bother trying to find a way to get over you because no one would’ve compared.”
“Not even Joshua?”
His comment made you laugh as you took a step towards him. Jacob took the opportunity to wrap his arms tightly around your waist, trapping you against his chest.
“Not even Joshua, Cobie. He’s just a friend. I promise. I love you, Jacob Bae.” You told him, inching yourself closer and closer until your nose was bumping against his.
Jacob grinned, laying a long passionate kiss to your lips. You practically melted against him, dragging your hands up his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping them around his neck. You tugged ever so gently at the hair sitting at the nape of his neck, making the boy shiver. You pulled away from him, giggling slightly as he whined quietly and tried to chase after your lips.
“Easy tiger. Plenty of me to go around.” You told him jokingly.
Jacob let out a breathy laugh, tightening his grip around you. “I’m not sharing you with anyone. Not Joshua or the states. I’m dragging you back to our apartment and locking the door.”
He lifted you just slightly off the ground, giving you another kiss before he pulled away this time. “I love you, too.”
all the fics belong to @deobienthusiast and are protected under copyright- absolutely no translating/reposting or claiming my work as your own.
#deoboyznet#kvanity#k-labels#wkcnet#the boyz#tbz#the boyz jacob#tbz jacob#bae joonyoung#jacob bae#the boyz imagines#tbz imagines#tbz scenarios#tbz x reader#tbz x y/n#tbz x you#tbz jacob imagines#tbz jacob x you#tbz jacob x reader
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that's him, that's just who he is | the boyz series introduction
"...and when I see him on my screen, no matter how things faded between us, I will always be able to put a smile on my face and tell them genuinely: that's him—that's the person who made a huge positive impact in my life. And when they ask back, "Really? How so?" I would simply shrug my shoulders and answer: that's just who he is—he's just capable of doing so."
» RELEASE DATE: as soon as possible! hopefully a week to a week and a half between each member! » WARNINGS (for this post—under 'keep reading' section): mentions of going through a tough time (not explicitly defined), healing and progress through the tough time (another warning will be mentioned if you do decide to read further! there is also a safe section after the gif) » WARNINGS (for the stories themselves): some have none, some do! but warnings according to the story will always be mentioned! navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist
ahhhh...where do i start?
i don't have a concrete idea/plan as to how this series is going to go yet. i don't have a story plan for each member yet either. all i have is the small indented idea and the sure idea that all the stories will be heavily inspired by each member's individual 'generation z' videos.
i'm pretty sure it will be a 'the boyz x reader' story series! currently, i'm settled with the idea that the reader is childhood/old friends with each member and they gradually drifted because life took them to different places. ultimately, the reader just looks back on their memories with each member. but, i don't think each story will be connected.
i was thinking of keeping a word limit of 2k for each story (we all know this isn't going to happen)
i chose the 'generation z' videos because i remember this being the videos that really 'pushed me' to stanning tbz. i've never seen these kinds of videos where idols talk openly about their feelings and i thought 'wait! i could implement this into a story!'
TRIGGER WARNING (safe after gif): mentions of going through a tough time (not explicitly defined), healing and progress through the tough time
addressing the 'personal healing project' part: i haven't been able to watch full videos and fully finish listening tbz related since august 11, 2023. today marks the 80th day that i've been stuck in the past and my own feelings.
long story short, something happened in my life and i had tbz content around me when the event occurred. unfortunately with tbz being there when it unfolded, everytime a song comes on or i see a picture of them, network of associations links me back to the event.
so i stopped listening, unfollowed tbz and all fan accounts specifically on instagram.
but thankfully for me...
i'm still able to write stories
i have seen improvement: able to see old pictures (day 18), unconsciously sung merry bad ending (day 26), consciously hummed lip gloss (day 37), finished up to the end of closer's second verse but backed out after (day 54), able to talk about tbz (day 66) etc.
it's been a hard journey but i have hope.
like changmin said in his 'generation z' video: still, i have hope. without hope, i don't think i can survive.
plus...i know that i still love and look up to the boyz so much.
because even though exposure therapy may still be too much for me now, the fact that time has done its work bit by bit, and i'm able to somewhat look at pictures of them, it means that i am healing.
this series...
is one of the topics that i wanted to 'experiment' with that i talked about in my about me page.
'generation z' pushed me into really stanning tbz and i just hope (and i hope endlessly) that maybe by going back to this video and implementing it to something i love (writing stories), that i'll be able to heal further.
tbz are having a comeback nov 20th! 🎉 i might not be able to follow them this comeback but please give them lots support!
as for this series...will you come along with me?
it's my first ever series ever since i started writing! i am so, very much excited!
i'll see you all soon!
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist
tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️
#deoboyznet#k-labels#k-films#the boyz fanfic#the boyz x reader#the boyz x you#the boyz imagines#tbz x reader#the boyz fluff#the boyz angst#tbz x y/n#tbz x you#sangyeon#jacob bae#younghoon#hyunjae#juyeon#kevin moon#new tbz#q tbz#haknyeon#sunwoo#eric sohn#lee sangyeon#jacob tbz#jacob the boyz#tbz fanfic#tbz angst#tbz fluff#tbz scenarios
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“keep your eyes ahead. you know i don’t like repeating myself.”
you’re trying. and you know he knows, eyes trained on your every move for the past hour, but his words still bite. a whimper falls past your lips, low in sound as you fight to keep from looking away.
because the sight in front of you is sinful. his smile his faint, expression easygoing as always, but the more your gaze travels downward, the more the coil just below your stomach threatens to snap. your following exhale is broken, and he hums something soft in acknowledgment.
his shirt brushes against bare skin and you’re reminded about the state of your undress—and you look away from the mirror with something akin to embarrassment. jacob tuts lowly, lips brushing just shy of your ear when he frowns, and sighs quietly.
“you never learn,” he mutters, free hand moving to gently turn your head back forward. “what am i going to do with you?”
you sniffle quietly, lips parted to give some kind of an answer you think he might be willing to accept, but his fingers curl right when you take a breath and you lungs wheeze out something strangled instead.
“that’s new,” he notes, pleasant surprise written across his features. your head spins and spins and spins. “didn’t know you could do that.” do it again, is the underlying meaning, and a few tears slide down your cheeks.
you know he doesn’t mean to make you cry. jacob is far from the kind to even exude any kind of anger towards you—patience personified, you sometimes claim—but to put toying with your emotions behind closed doors beneath him? his touch deliberate even in front of others?
you’ve made that mistake more than once. he’s right, you know. you haven’t learned, but he’s more than happy to push and prode and take until it sticks.
“close—please.” voice warbled, fresh tears fill your waterline the more his relentless pace keeps up. he only hums faintly in response, seemingly amused by your weak attempts at closing your legs. “can i—i need—”
“go ahead.”
your body sags against his with relief, nails digging into his arms as words you’re sure are well off coherency spill past your lips. static buzzes in your ears against the heightened feeling of denied orgasms past—god, please the only thing you hear your voice turned hoarse plead almost pathetically.
he takes pity on you. like he always does, thumb swiping over your clit the same moment his lips brush against your neck, grazing the skin ever so softly, and oh—something white hot lights a spark up your entire spine. you think you might be crying but you can’t feel anything but his hands and the slow expanse of your lungs desperately trying to suck in air.
“pretty,” he coos, voice low at a whisper, and you can only duck your head and try to catch your breath.
#usercee#cobie…….. vibrates silently#tbz#tbz scenarios#tbz smut#tbz x reader#tbz x y/n#tbz x you#jacob bae#jacob x reader#jacob x y/n#jacob x you#jacob scenarios#jacob smut
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late night cuddles | joonyoung
pairing: bf!jacob x gn!reader
genre: slice of life, fluff, and bits of angst // warnings: mentions of not feeling okay (not too into depth) and food
summary: when jacob notices that you’ve been listening to your sad playlist while at work, he worries and does his best to give you comfort. // word count: 1473 words
note: first comfort fic & fic of the year :,)
To be honest, you weren’t even sure when you started to cry. All you knew was that you needed to cry and per usual whenever you were in this mood, you had started to play your sad playlist.
Putting on your headphones and lying in bed to soak in the feels. Letting the melody and lyrics bleed into your heart & mind. Allowing yourself to experience whatever it was you were feeling.
With the blankets being pulled up to your chest, you found yourself crying into it. You wished that there was some known reason why you were feeling this way. Lately life has been alright and nothing was stressful. However, the need for an answer is not always needed.
The bed felt like it was swallowing you whole so you got up. Laying against the bed frame and listening to the music. Only then do the tears end up painting your face. It felt so nice to cry it out but it also hurt.
Not even bothered to try to dry your face in case someone saw you like this. Besides, the only person who might see you was your boyfriend. And last time you checked, he would be coming home late so it was fine. Little did you know, he was worrying about you.
It seems like you had forgotten that he can see your Spotify, therefore can see what you’re listening to. The Boyz were practicing for their next comeback but in between, they’d take breaks. They were using Jacob’s laptop since they had the tracks and everything. During one of the breaks, he went to choose the next song since it was his turn to choose.
Right before he selects a track, his eyes slide over to the friend’s activity section on Spotify. When his eyes scan for your name and see what you’re listening to, they subtly widen. He wanted to send a quick text but couldn’t as he heard the members asking him to pick a song.
Telling himself that he’d text you soon but it slipped his mind. More like his mind ended up getting stuck between trying to focus on getting the new choreography right and worrying about how you were feeling.
It had gotten to the point where the other members started to pick up that Jacob’s head clearly wasn’t 100% here. Asking him what was wrong or if he needed a break. He had waved them off and reassured them that he was fine. However, Kevin knew he was lying… actually everyone did but they weren’t going to push Jacob because they knew it might not go anywhere.
Nonetheless, Kevin had wanted to help Jacob if he could. So he caught Jacob during a break to ask him again. And surprisingly Jacob was straight forward about it.
He didn’t want to hide anymore and felt the need to tell someone, but at the same time he didn’t want to just tell everyone. He felt scared that it would end up distracting everyone and ruining the vibe for tonight. Plus they were only getting closer and closer to the comeback music video shooting. So they really needed to get this choreography down and nail it when they film.
After Jacob lets Kevin know about what’s on his mind, Kevin does his best to comfort Jacob that it’s valid for him to worry and if he really is concerned, the members will understand if he leaves early. The members all love you, maybe even more than Jacob (whatttt? Who said that?), and care for you. More than anything, they value your relationship and happiness. A quick hug and Jacob is left again to his thoughts.
He knows what Kevin says is true but would it really be okay for him to just take off like that? Pondering and walking in circles. Anyone could see that Jacob was clearly thinking hard about something. Thinking so much he didn’t even hear Sangyeon call him over.
As he snaps out of it, Jacob confesses what’s been going on tonight to Sangyeon. Kevin’s words ring true as Sangyeon quite literally tells him the same thing. “Jacob, you know we care about you two. We would hate to make you feel like you have to be here to practice instead of being with y/n. Besides, you've been doing really well with this new choreography. Just go. Go to y/n and let them know we care about them too.” Sangyeon assures him and pats Jacob’s back.
Jacob can’t help but let out a sigh of relief and give Sangyeon a quick hug before bolting out of the company building to your apartment. He hopes that he’s not too late. Texting you that he’ll be there soon. To no avail, he doesn’t get a response on the way there. Jacob had also stopped by a convenience store to pick up your favorite snacks and his dinner.
Once he arrives, he’s dashing up the stairs and unlocking the door. When he steps foot inside the apartment, it’s super quiet. Calling out your name to see where you are, the only thing that answers him is silence.
Eventually he reaches the bedroom and that’s where he sees you. Your headphones are still in, your face is glistening due to the tears, and your back is up against the wall. Jacob does his best to get your attention so that he doesn’t startle you. Unfortunately, you seemed to have spaced out.
He ends up slowly but surely scooting on the bed next to you. Replacing the blanket with his arms wrapping around you. Using his hands to wipe away your tears and moving your hair out of your face. The feeling of his hands on yours is the moment you realize he’s home.
For a few good minutes, he’s just holding you and not saying anything. Conversely you're holding onto him and not saying anything either. His heartbeat is beating quite quickly and you wonder if it’s because of you.
Jacob removed one headphone from your ear and put it in his. “My darling, are you feeling okay? I know it sounds like a stupid question and everything but I got really worried when I saw you were listening to this playlist.” He’s now facing you and uses his fingers to lift your face towards him.
“I… I don’t know to be honest. I don’t know why I’m even crying or feeling this way. I just do and it sucks. Also shouldn’t you be at practice?” Your eyebrows furrow when you realize that he was indeed supposed to be at practice. But then he softens as he glides his finger against your eyebrows.
“Don’t furrow your eyebrow, darling. You’ll get more wrinkles that way. To answer your question, yes but it’s okay. I talked about it to the members before I left. By the way, they wanted to relay the message that they care about you too.” Before he continues, his hands find his way to yours. Intertwining them before giving your hand a kiss.
“I just wanted to let you know, my precious darling, that it’s completely okay to not know why. Not all questions have answers. I just hope you know that I love you. We can stay here and cuddle as long as you want.” Your eyes look up at his face. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Another truth that rings true because Jacob’s eyes are soft and kind just like his soul (and heart).
You don’t say too much but you snuggle in closer into his body. Letting him know that you’ll take him up on his offer. Whispering a soft “thank you” and pausing your music. In due time, you end up switching your playlist to a more lighthearted one. Fitting for the moment you’re in with your one and only (Jacob) bae.
Just as you two are about to doze off, his stomach lets out a roar and wakes y’all up. You can’t help but laugh at the way the moment is now declared over. “Cobie, I’m feeling better and you are hungry. Let’s go eat something delicious!” Planting a kiss on his forehead and getting out of bed to cook dinner.
You extend your hand to him expecting him to get up but instead he pulls you back into the bed. Snuggling into your neck to pepper you with kisses. The only reasonable reaction to this was to laugh. It tickled and you appreciated whenever he got like this with you.
It reminded you that while love may not be perfect, the love you guys have for each other comes pretty close to it. That and to cherish the moments we have together. There is truly no one else other than Jacob Bae who could give you better late night cuddles.
please don’t forget to interact with this by reblogging, leaving a note, or sending an ask about what you did or didn’t like about this!
thanks to jacob for being another comfort idol for me <33 I love him sm and im tagging @sungbeam b/c i know u love jacob (maybe even more than me) 🥺
take care and happy new year ! here’s to all of the fics I’ll write this year
signing off with love
- ash
#kflixnet#underworldnet#tbz x reader#the boyz x reader#the boyz imagine#the boyz fluff#best we the boyz#tbz fluff#jacob bae x reader#jacob x reader#joonyoung x reader#bae joonyoung x reader#tbz imagine#tbz x you#tbz x y/n#the boyz scenarios#the boyz joonyoung#tbz joonyoung#ash and queue
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oh darling, take my heart! ( heart attack ), k.sw & jc.b
a retelling of yves & chuu, heart attack, loona ( chuu )
“ 𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐝 “
To save Sunwoo from his own self destruction by his undying love for Y/n as he admires her but cannot get her attention. His guardian angel comes to his side in human form to prevent the inevitable fall from Eden. Though the desperation for his preservation might just come from the egoistic wounds of his heart and the awareness of the ugliest fall of them all, it being his own.
PAIRING ⏵ ( 3rd pov, she/ her ) kim sunwoo x fem!reader, guardian angel!jacob not a love triangle
GENRE ⏵ fluff, slight angst, one sided pining, unrequited love ( not all the way through ), comedy/ crack ( hopefully ), sunwoo is down so bad, and he’s stubborn as heck, not a love triangle, slight fantasy, jacob is stressed bc of sunwoo, sweetheart!Jacob, winter!au, college!au but they’re just in the library and walk between lectures and have own apartments lol( F EXAMS ), epic bromance, epic eric feature, not as epic changmin feature, europe aesthetic ( this is a candlestick idk how widespread they are )
WARNINGS ⏵ y/n is just a little evil, loonaverse lore ( lol ), romanticised college!au bc I don’t want to write my reality 🫠, surface level world building ( don't ask me about the angel lore ), y/n & sw calls jacob angel & cupid either teasingly/mockingly/literally, y/n refers to sunwoo as loverboy once, sunwoo swears like three times, sunwoo calls people losers, heart attack by chuu is very gay mine is not😭, proofread twice
WORD COUNT ⏵ 18.8 k ( I’m so sorry )
new banner style!( so proud! ). for some reason I was hellbent on getting this out before christmas, but it’s really not that christmassy😭. the heart attack mv tells a story about chuu's undying love for yves. the post below includes spoilers, but but will clarify this story in connection to the mv. it will be linked at the end too! please enjoy!
story ( symbolism & metaphor ) guide
like and reblog are highly encouraged!
THIS WORLD HAS CHANGED ITS COLORS, DRIFTING FURTHER FROM THE SUN IN PRESENT SEASON.
As Eden has turned its axis away from the warmth, the trees stand with a single color. Instead of fruits in shine and leaves that paint the part in between world and heaven, its colors have, from the crowns, spread and blossomed over its people. The fabric of one's jacket and scarf decorates the boulevard down to the open square at the very center of the city.
Though, someone in cobalt blue seems to not follow the fast paced world around him. Jacob walks gently over the frozen mirror layered on top of the summer stone. His new body concealed in a jacket in that cobalt blue. To look out over the two streets and the cars driving in between, he observes how each silhouette before and behind him walks past him without a single glance or wrong step. Jacob looks down again, sees the reflection of daylight on the frost as his right foot takes another step forward.
Last month, Jacob sat in his new bed, in his new room, in a new city. Picked apart the sharp lines on the telephone screen to figure out exactly the right passage to the blue dot. How time has moved forward without him, since he last stepped onto the fixed ground and stood before the mortals as a real figure. Jacob used to stand perfectly visible in a full crowd all the more frequently in the past. The little boy he guarded back then refused to learn how to stand up for two seconds before starting to run. At seven, during the midst of the summer season on an afternoon picnic, Sunwoo had managed to climb a tree he was incapable of coming down. Jacob, who had been observing him like a second baby sitter, granted Sunwoo luck that day and saved him before falling off the bended branch.
Though, as he entered his teens, Jacob realized Sunwoo was rather a problem solver. So, as he watched from above, the secret pathways and hideouts, how he fired off a firework in the high school hallways and ran from the teacher, Jacob learned to not intervene.
Jacob feels the cold water melt on his skin as morning snow starts falling. And between the white feathers falling from above, he sees the entré from where the fabrication spreads outwards to the exterior of his vision. The glass windows stand in height with the opening, making the trees in winter sleep all smaller. The glass doors and buildings in altering heights don't seem to intimidate him as much as last month. Therefore he lets the transparent frame to the other side, open up for him and the flakes on his hair start to melt.
He vividly recalls summers from before as he walks down the corridors in pastel colors. How the daylight pierce through the ceiling height windows and spread itself over the cream walls like paint. As the memory recalls itself, all the way to the present, he finds himself before lecture hall A, a single turn before the library. The door stands open before him, from his spot on the stream line wood, he sees a row of students already inside. As he hears another pair of footsteps behind him, fused with muted conversations from the entrance, Jacob gathers the strap of his backpack and walks in.
In the lecture hall, the board stands to the left and before it spreads a massive sort of staircase to the highest windows. Though, as he has visited this place in what can only be described as dreams, this vision doesn’t seem to bother his conception. Instead, Jacob stands at the end, two meters away from where the first row starts. Faces that have passed him by in dreams and strangers he can’t recall are all scattered throughout the staircase. And as he eyes them down from the lowest point to the highest before the window, he can’t piece the face in his mind with anyone in the room.
Jacob let his hand fall from the backpack strap and walk up the right side. Sunwoo has never been known for his punctual habits, neither in Jacob’s memory from his youth or the recent observation of him as a uni student.
In the perfect middle of the seven rows, Jacob takes a seat close to the stairs down. He lets his backpack fall to the floor as he takes a seat. The silver computer reveals itself from the canvas material and he lays it gently on the surface before him.
Conversations fill the lecture hall and he eyes the rows, down to the end floor. How two girls sit side by side, enthusiastically nodding when the other talks, or the lone boy furthest against the wall in the right corner. Though, the surroundings fall irrelevant as he anticipates each silhouette entering the door. Each person creates an even stronger blur of conversations and the colors and materials paint a motif before him. Each row and the surface before it becomes foiled with texture and at last, when the professor stands before the white board, none of the faces entering was him from his memories.
The empty corridor walls, enchanted in pastel shades and wooden floor. Each step he takes spreads to the furthest corners of where two walls meet, before they resile back towards him. All that while he turns further from the past lecture hall. Instead of right, the direction towards the library, he let the patterns on the floor take him whatever they wanted. Hoping it would lead him to the purpose of his visit. And as he thinks about that, he looks up from the wild patterns. As he stands still in the middle of the corridor, he sees a single silhouette at the end. At the end frame where the opening reveals a horizontal corridor, stands a silhouette reminiscent of his youth. His distinctive features are turned the other way, and Jacob stands on his toes as if to reach them.
With gentle steps, as if to not disturb the rare life, Jacob walks towards him. The wings under his blue blazer attempt to spread in anticipation, but he forces them down under the thick fabric. Has the past finally runned up to him as he has searched the campus for the past month? he wonders.
“Are you Kim Sunwoo?” Jacob finally asks when they stand about a meter away from each other. The boy turned his figure towards him and his features in day highlights and winter shadows graze itself before him. His face, though more mature, shows traces of the ones from his memories. How the certain parts of his eyes and full lips seem to be unaffected by time.
“What I-” He before him stops himself from speaking as a door from the other corridor opens.
Jacob watches how his eyes instantly grow wider and he moves all closer to the extended frame of the pastel wall. To trace the line up to the door, Jacob observes closely how an ocean wave of students crash through the single opening. And as the wave falls and spreads out from all directions, and five people walking alone, unaffected by another, he hears how the boy before him exhales gently.
By the five last people, two take a left turn, one has a book bag hanging off her shoulder and she carries a computer in her left arm. The sight is rather ordinary, maybe that the winter sunlight hits her a certain way as she passes them by from afar. But as he turns to look at Sunwoo again, he leans his head against the open frame, hands around the edges. His quiet expression melts the winter frost over the windows and a single point in his eyes that are crystal clear. Jacob was uncertain when still observing him from above, but Sunwoo’s painful adoration for the woman walking before them paints messages on the wall with red paint.
She is the one he needs to save him from.
The light hits her in another angle, when she turns her head, Jacob takes his arms closer to his chest as Sunwoo forces himself up from the wall and takes his hand up to his hair. The black lock tangles itself between his fingers as he pushes them back and a pen from his front pocket falls to the floor when his other hand comes down to correct the shirt.
Jacob, quite amused, looking at the scene before him, recognizes how despite the loud noise from the pen, she at the opposite side doesn’t confirm his presence. Sunwoo’s eyes, covered in yearning, follows her serene figure until it disappears from his sight. Exchanges of words from the student mass further to the right echoes throughout the walls. And Sunwoo breathes out again, though, this time it’s heavy and low, leaving his lips in ache before falling to the floor.
Jacob stands unchanged as Sunwoo starts to adjust the band of his bag. Suddenly he has become invincible in the pastel hallway. As he thinks of it, Jacob awkwardly takes his own backpack strap and falls back and forth on his heels.
Finally, he coughs.
Sunwoo looks up from his book bag. His features dull, tired eyes and his lips barely open to answer him. A rather familiar picture of him as he thinks of the past month’s visions while at home, to place his face in between all the hallways.
“Are you Kim Sunwoo?” Jacob asks again.
“Yeah…” He eyes him suspiciously, “Am I supposed to know you or something?”
“No.” Jacob smiles.
It falls silent again.
The plan from the past months runs Jacob’s mind and disappears from sight. So as he stands and watches the boy before him, he starts counting his fingers from below, as if that will help him.
“Okay.” Sunwoo puts his hands in his pocket.
“Oh right!” Jacob finally says, “Sorry, it’s been some time. I…”
Sunwoo tilts his head.
“No, I-forget that.” Jacob motions with his hand, “We’re in the same course, I’m a bit after, I would need some help for the assignment…” He motions even more, “someone said you’re good.”
“Who’s someone?” He asks with slightly squinted eyes.
Jacob smiles, “Eric, I was with him last month.”
“You shouldn’t trust Eric.” Sunwoo shakes his head and Jacob furrows his eyebrows, “He nearly burned down the lab last year.”
That, I missed, Jacob thinks as he pursues his lips in. But if the heart has stayed the same all these years, a constant absolute when everything passes, a simple sentence should secure him.
“Then, are you saying you aren’t smart?” Jacob eyes him.
Sunwoo straightens his posture, scoffs and smiles at him on the opposite side, “No, I’m so smart.” He boasts.
“Okay, then are you helping me?”
“I usually don’t give out charity, but sure,” Sunwoo nods and reaches out his hand. Jacob sees the distance close as he takes his own hand out and bridges them together. They shake it slightly.
“Thanks then, Sunwoo!” Jacob puts his hands in his pockets too, “Do three today at the library work?”
“Sure.” He nods.
How the days move fast, Jacob realizes as he stands by one of the five windows out to the white covered landscape. On one hand, the few daylight hours must change one's perspective on the passing time, but there is something very human, he has understood about the constant disapproval of how time moves in contrast to space.
His legs and lower back rests against a heater with missing spots where white paint should be. The rough edges of its pattern delve a shallow cut at the right side of his spine. Though, the discomfort doesn’t force him to move, as the chilling hour in the lecture hall has frozen every part of his body.
As Jacob stands there, melts the ice and watches how the snow falls towards Eden, he thinks about Sunwoo, again. It has been some time he feels, since the boy has been occupying his mind this frequently. Despite only meeting twice or so per day, he has started to ask Sunwoo if he needs rest or is tired. At those times, he rather looks confusingly at Jacob and answers sarcastically, “I’m always tired” or “Rest never works”. Somehow Jacob wants to tell him he should sleep since he’s been running all day, but he realizes on the way out of the entrance that it is only in his mind he has been running. It is something else outside their shared daily routine.
On the other hand, the name of the girl from that day has been given. Y/n, a student Sunwoo has had classes with, works at a cafe in the mall. The cafe has changed names about four times. Scored lovely on exams the past year, but as if a wind came with a new heart, her eyes seem to, and quoting Sunwoo, “longing for somewhere else”. A wanderer rather, he thinks, to be seen in spaces without clear intention without a single word said. The red veil connecting the two seems rather obscured at the moment.
As he thinks about the mysterious girl, his other half and the mission, he sees people coming from the right. At the end of a group, standing Sunwoo, he waves to the three people beside him before walking forward, leaving them behind. The library stands right before Jacob, at the other side of the wall. And as he takes a single step away from the warmth of the electric heater to reach him, Sunwoo smiles.
“Oh, hello, Jacob.” He continues to walk. Sunwoo’s figure passes him by while the Angel’s have a fixed position in the center of two lines. Jacob’s eyes follow his silhouette down the hall towards the frame.
“Where are you going?” The textbooks nearly slips out of his arms as Jacob hurriedly shifts directions and accidentally stops two students on their way out. His other half doesn’t seem to catch him the first time as the double doors out to the snow covered scenery opens and barely closes before Jacob’s shoes make a pattern in it.
“Where are you going?” He thinks it is probably the loudest he has ever talked and stresses each syllable.
“The cafeteria” He says without any sort of worries.
“But aren’t we supposed to study?” Jacob runs desperately after him.
“We were?” The boy stops suddenly and Jacob flies head first against Sunwoo’s back head. The Angel caresses his forehead and Sunwoo turns around to watch him fully. The fact that he got a full skull into his own doesn’t seem to bother him as he quietly waits for the pain to ease off Jacob.
“Yeah, I asked you yesterday and you said yes.” Jacob holds his cold palm against his forehead. Sunwoo’s eyes adverts from Jacob’s, up to the clear sky. It shines on his features brightly when he tilts his chin.
“Can’t remember, either way I need to see Y/n.”
The shoe patterns in the snow continue from where it ended. Jacob sighs as he pulls the backpack further up his shoulder, so that it brushes against his neck. As if half running to connect and grip onto Sunwoo’s college shirt, Jacob comes up to Sunwoo, steps become slower and falls into a sort of comfortable rhythm. The Angel looks down the stone pathway in clear ice, beside it molten snow. Their steps follow in rhythm.
“Isn’t it very…”
Sunwoo looks to his left, where Jacob follows his steps down the ice. Eyes set on the road before them and his posture starts to fall into a sort of shrimp-like fashion. The sentence in his mouth never finishes as Jacob starts to fall behind.
“Very?” Sunwoo quotes and slows down just a little.
“You know…” Jacob looks up again, sees his other half about a meter before him. Wide eyes and nods his head. The Angel starts shifting his hands around to express the thoughts running in his mind, but it doesn’t seem to do much for him, as Sunwoo tilts his head. The next step down the pathway, his sneaker loses grip on the ground and slides freely. Jacob lets out a surprised sound as fear paints his previously frustrated expression. Jacob grabs onto Sunwoo’s forearm, nearly forgets that his wings might have just ripped through the fabric layers.
“Looking like Bambi.” Sunwoo says and takes Jacob’s upper arm.
“What’s Bambi?” Jacob’s filters and deliberate calculations seem to have flown out the window the moment his face came close to the ground. When the very center of his vision finally leaves the ice covered path, he lifts his chin up to see Sunwoo eye him with a frown.
“That little deer that can’t walk or something.” Sunwoo says.
Jacob’s quiet for a moment. A bicycle comes beside them, catches their jackets in the artificial wind and takes Sunwoo’s fringe with it, leaving a part of his forehead for the world to see.
“You say I’m a deer?”
“I’m going to eat.” He deadpans and turns to face the street once again.
“Wait!”
-
The reflection in the glass door looks back at them. Disappears as Sunwoo pushes the door open to reveal the lines of tables. Jacob stands still for a single second, watches the overbearing ceiling weight down on the red tables and the floor shining from the lamps. To stand in the very line between outside and the room, he feels a wind pass by the chairs and he realizes it looks rather depressing. Though Sunwoo's footsteps continue through the tables, sneakers scrape against the odd floor which turns the older woman behind the glass to his place.
Jacob himself takes uncertain steps around the cafeteria. Follow the odd patterns and watch each ugly lamp light up another red table. He lets his eyes follow the trails of seats further from the main windows and sees students scattered about two tables away from each other before the windows out to a snow covered grass field.
At the center of one of the windows, just enough to the left that there are still about three places left to sit at the back, sits a girl. The light from outside filters through the window familiarly and hits her features in the exact manner as from before. Jacob thinks Y/n must have a favorite sort of place to sit. In the passing hours between lectures he sees her in the same lightning and in the same position each time.
As he has wondered for another passage of around the clock. Jacob, unaware of the presence he has been having around him coming back. A light push on his shoulder, just above the wings takes Jacob back to the present. To cover the spot over the blazer where he just touched, Jacob, with wide eyes, watches Sunwoo with a single tray in his hand. The Angel stares at length even when Sunwoo walks two tables away and takes a seat. His shoulder brushes up against the counter, and his eyes immediately falter. Lies heavily on Y/n as Sunwoo’s arms support his chin.
The tense posture and fixed position of Jacob’s hands loosens. Gently takes himself closer to the table and sits at the opposite side of Sunwoo. The chair is hard plastic, causing a slight discomfort in his skin, as so, Jacob doesn’t bring his back to the rest.
“You want some?”
The Angel looks up from his lap. Sunwoo holds out a plastic cup filled with chocolate filling. The inside has a sharp surface and a clean line between transparency and chocolate. A depressing pudding for the depressing interior. And apparently the expression on his face as he thought of it, didn’t pass by Sunwoo,
“I’m broke". It’s the only thing in this place that doesn’t cost me four thousand and a kidney.” “Plus, it’s actually good.” Sunwoo opens his eyes wide at the last sentence, nods his head as if to make Jacob agree by mimicking.
Jacob moves his head, “Thank you, but I don’t like chocolate.”
Sunwoo drops his hand with the pudding to the table surface, “Liar, everyone likes chocolate.”
The Angel shakes his head gently, “Not me.”
The one facing the window sighs, forces his hand back to his side of the table and instead, takes up the other container on the tray, “You’re weird, here’s your vanilla.” Sunwoo pushes the plastic cup over the distance and it slows down perfectly in front of Jacob. He looks at the cream white color before him and then up at Sunwoo who has opened his pudding.
“Did you not want it?” Jacob tilts his head.
Sunwoo shakes his head with the plastic spoon in his mouth, “Chocolate’s better. I thought that was a pre chosen feature before birth.” He takes the spoon and picks up another bite, “But apparently not.” Sunwoo smiles.
Even when the conversation finds its final period in the end of a last sentence, Jacob finds himself staring and holding the thin cup between his fingers. And sometimes, when he tears his eyes off the plastic to look at Sunwoo, he sees the one on the opposite side gaze in deep adoration onto a point he can’t see from this side. Though, between the limited hours they’ve spent during this time, he figures it is not much in this scene of life that has his eyes so enchanted.
Finally Jacob takes off the lid and takes the thin white spoon off the tray to tear the perfect surface of the pudding. As he takes his first bite, he tastes the sweet flavor from the vanilla melt in his mouth. Jacob, on his limited days on land, has never built any deeper interest for pudding he acknowledges. But every time he looks towards Sunwoo who takes a bite off his chocolate one, he gets a sudden desire to eat pudding tomorrow too. A sort of feeling he can’t quite figure out where it comes from or places in his heart.
Jacob fascinatingly observes how, for each round sound of the clock, Sunwoo falls deeper into his palm. As if spellbound by the person, he looks as if to be in complete dissociation from the real world. Jacob wonders what he sees before his eyes as he watches Y/n, feels in his heart and senses between his veins.
“Sunwoo?” Jacob says suddenly. It breaks the silence between them and the cafeteria for that part too. The one in deep infatuation looks away for a single second, though, still chin in palm, a position ready to turn back to at any time.
“Why do you like Y/n?” Jacob tilts his head.
Sunwoo frowns for a moment and then lifts his shoulder, “I don’t know, why wouldn’t I?”
“You tell me.” Jacob leans in closer.
Sunwoo scoffs, “She’s pretty. She’s smart, I don’t know…” His eyes shimmer from the daytime and his other hand comes up to his face. The end sleeves of his hoodie folds from the position and it covers some of his features. The words from his lips become muted in between all the fabric, “...She’s like from another world.” He sighs, “She’s beautiful like a dream and intriguing.”
“Intriguing?” Jacob tilts his head again.
“She talks really fast with a really flat tone. Then her body language, it’s as if she has none. That’s her body language.”
Jacob nods.
“Why do you wonder?” Sunwoo asks suddenly.
Jacob’s quiet for a second, looks behind his shoulder towards Y/n before turning back to the table, “I don’t know, she seems a bit disinterested just.” He speaks gently.
Sunwoo nods his head without making eye contact.
“I think many would have gone for someone else.” He speaks slower than in previous conversations. Watch each motion of Sunwoo’s fingers and where his pupils are directed. Touch the surface just slightly and see how the waves starts to form.
“I guess.” Sunwoo scratches his nails and looks towards the ceiling.
“I-”
“I have to meet up at five.” Sunwoo sits up, smiles with pressed lips towards Jacob and nods his head once again, “See you tomorrow, I guess.” He pushes his chair under the table and takes a first step out the odd patterned floor.
“Wait, I should pay you back for the food.” Jacob stresses and starts searching in between his pockets. But the Angel stops once Sunwoo laughs just lightly and puts his hands in his pockets.
“Don’t worry about it, it was like three thousand.” He turns his head fully and Jacob is left seeing his silhouette become all smaller and disappear out the glass door.
Despite the definite numbers of daylight there is in a December afternoon, Jacob finds himself at the avenue down the meters between university and his home. The lights hang above his head in lines until the very end of the buildings. And as Jacob lifts his chin even further up, his nose touches the cold air and in every window shines a candlestick. The thousands of lights enchanting the avenue shines in golden yellow. A warm vision as Jacob pulls the scarf a bit tighter around his neck.
As he watches a couple come out of the glass door before the mall, Jacob thinks back on his conversation with Sunwoo. The Angel turns on every angle possible of the words he spoke to him. To imagine the different dimensions where the timidly spoken sentence could have affected him. Sunwoo was very quick that time, to stand up and leave the conversation. Jacob gets a discomfort in his spine as the scene plays over, but then it continues playing, showing the open motions and tone before he turns. Jacob shakes his head again, to make the screen fade from his mind and look at the white floor.
It’s confusing, he thinks. Humans are confusing.
“Hello.”
Jacob takes the wrong step with his right feet. Shoe, trapped under an elevated part of the pathway and his hands comes out of his pockets as his weight leans forward. Before Jacob’s face comes even closer to the ground, his other leg lands to support the parts of his body that come to lean over. With a few foolish motions as to regain his balance and another second to get his posture upright instead of horizontal, Jacob looks behind him to see the voice that continues to linger in his ears.
How the Angel’s wings tenses underneath all the fabrics and the features on his face become rigid and pale. The substantial shift in his current state, from outside it may look like a sudden winter storm passed him by. To steal every little warmth left between the layers. But truly, there is only one reason. As Y/n stands before him, a certain distance but in eye contact for the first time.
“What’s your name?” She abruptly asks when he has stared for too long.
Jacob grabs his backpack, “What-Why?”
“I’ve seen you a lot lately.” She’s quick.
“I’ve seen you a lot too.” Jacob starts to take steps away from her, but as he turns back, her silhouette follows him.
Shoes in deep snow during winter evenings come from behind and wrap around his ears. 90s Chirstams melodies play weakly from the stores and he finally breaks silence, “Do you need help or something?”
“I do.”
“Okay, but I’m not good at math, just so you know.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not math.” Y/n smiles lightly, though it sends shivers much deeper than any weather has ever done. Jacob swallows and looks before him. The avenue splits into two and he sets his eyes on the pathway into the badly lit park.
“I’m Y/n.” She stops walking suddenly but continues to look at him, “Will you help me if I ask you?”
“Jacob.” He answers weakly and shifts his sight between two opposite points. Y/n opens her mouth to speak, but Jacob rushes, making no space for more than one sentence.
“I’m late for the bus.” And crosses the red light as another car passes. Head to look in the two different directions and the blinding lights coming all closer. Though, he does make it to the other side. Where lamps stand in row between the tall trees and the Christmas lights from the avenue can’t reach. Jacob looks behind him for a last time, to see a painted figure against the avenue, but at the entrance of the park, there is no one. As so, the wings on his back falls to his skin once again.
How the evening from before haunts him as he passes each corner and wall. There seems to be no logical reasoning, he thinks, as to why a girl he has never met or established any similarities to in the real world, to seek his company. Jacob stands, once again before the library in endless waiting for Sunwoo, but as all other days, he is nowhere to be seen. The Angel sighs, looks to the window and uncomfortably shifts his back. There has been a sort of constant ruler watching his every move, the one hidden among humans thinks.
“Hello.”
Jacob moves one step further down the pastel wall as another presence stands beside him. With his hands close to his chest, Jacob looks to see the person before him. With wide eyes and feet tightly set against each other, he forces himself to become smaller when she who he has wandered over stands in complete view. Her face is familiar by now, but the incredibly monotone voice that echoes throughout the halls felt as if picking on the past memories of her.
“Hello?” Jacob stutters as silence passes them by. Her eyes, like the echo of her first words, lingers like the snow outside and with difficulty, won’t go away. The blazer around his upper body sits as it always does, but somehow he feels like it has torn by its sides and reveals his secret fully before her. As her eyes follow his silhouette, his hands cramp together even tighter.
“Has someone ever told you you sound like an angel, Jacob?” Her voice, not as severe as before, reaches him through the awkward distance. The expression on her face is rather vague, not so drastic lines of emotions, instead nearly detached from the scene they find themselves in. Aside from her faintly north crescent lips and her eyes with the finest of pearl at the pupil. Sharp crystals like the ice hanging from outside the building.
“No-Why?” Jacob coughs slightly and throws back the question.
She changes the weight on her legs, “I don’t know, isn’t there a rumor that there’s angels walking among us.”
“Well,” he takes the collar of his blazer and adjusts it, “It’s just a saying .”
“You think so?”
It becomes quiet once again, aside from the friend group that cross the wooden floor and follow the lines down the second corridor. As their conversation fades from these walls and lives on their own, Y/n takes a step closer towards him. In the everlasting coldness enchanting all corners of the building, he suddenly feels her warm shoulder closing in against his own.
“You don’t believe in angels?”
“No.” He answers hesitantly, only letting his eyes wander to the left for a single second before moving back to the window on the other side. He sees the eyes of students observing them as they stand in the center of two ways.
“Just fate.” He pats his blazer again. Y/n eyes him in silence to observe the invincible dust layered over the fabric, his hands brush it off. Falls down from the fabric to the hem line and adjusts it, despite no failed folds.
“Nice blazer by the way.” She abruptly stops him.
He looks at her without words. Now she’s leaning on the wall with crossed arms, eyes aimed at the two people who briefly cover sunlight on the pastel wall before passing it by. This time the two lock eyes completely, a shiver runs through his body as she observes him with an intensive sort of coat over the lobe. To pass through the very fiber that makes them two similar, she sees his soul wrapped in plastic. Burn it with her eyes until it starts to smoke.
“You’re indiscreet Jacob, I know you’re not from here.”
A single sentence seems to set off the second visor on the analog clock. Jacob breathes heavily and turns his head away from her. The reaction burns a part of her consciousness and the blood between her vessels moves all quicker as she opens her lips again. Another person passes them by precisely, and Jacob takes her wrist as the very opening of her sentence echo through the pastel passage.
“Be quiet, please.” He whispers. Y/n is forced up against him, his eyes shining of heaven as he looks down at her.
“Never.” The shift in dynamic doesn't seem to face her, he thinks.
Jacob sighs loudly and lets go of her wrists. He throws it against her thigh before turning the other direction, each step, a dimension away from Y/n. But as he comes further down the corridor, where the pastel starts to become sun faded and spots of paint have withered away, a constant sound of steps in a rhythm just like his own. Jacob’s eyes follow the lines between the floors. Force each sound of his shoes against it to become all louder as they come to the very end of the corridor, where it splits in half.
Her fingers grip onto the back collar, where the fabric folds into two. She forces it closer towards herself and Jacob feels the neckline move further up his skin and strangle the end of his throat. All at once, she pushes him to the right. Jacob lands with his back against the wall, the very fragment of the thin material seems to shrivel at this motion, and the wall, as it’s completely hollow, echoes throughout the empty hallway.
Jacob lets out a cry as the fabrication and his own body press the wings under the blazer. Y/n comes up closer, with a distance enough for herself, but has her arms up against his head to constrain him to the small square beneath him.
“Hurt your wings, Angel?” She tilts her head.
Jacob’s right arm is wrapped around his upper body, to caress the aching spot on his back. The loose strands of his fringe have fallen before his eyes and the collar of his blazer is unfolded. He feels the dry bits of paint on the wall against his head as he leans away from her complexion, as much as this dimension allows him to.
“You look like a mess.” Y/n tilts her head, “Like a sin.”
“What do you want anyway?” Jacob says frustrated.
“You’re not fallen, Angel. Tell me how to do it.”
“Do what?”
“Fall from this place.” She rolls her eyes, “Leave.”
“You’re insane.” He takes a step to the left, but Y/n mirror it perfectly. So, her hands are beside him from both directions, still, to cage him in.
“Why are you even here? With Sunwoo? Loverboy can’t do uni on his own?”
For the first time, the features on her face shifts. From being forever still without any sort of indication of time or emotion, her eyes are coated with a thin layer of light, lucent from the moon and the corner of her lip twitches between the sentences. The fine pupil of her eye shifts focus on the different shadows of his face, when neither of them gives her any answers, she desperately starts asking him again.
Jacob feels the human heart in his chest hurt severely. It pushes against his skin and the organs right besides it. Between each breath, the words lie on his tongue daring to be heard, but as she stares at him, just a little bit more frenetic than before, they fall back in his throat, tangle in each other and strangle him. The eyes sharp and vivid like yesterday’s nightmare, he closes his eyes and wishes for the sun to rise up. And at the exact moment, the two of them hear footsteps coming all closer to their spot behind the wall.
As suddenly as Y/n appeared beside him before the library, she is now gone, with just a few steps and a temporary current from her disappearing arms. Jacob dares to open his eyes and see nothing but the yellow pale wall. To look behind the paper divider, he sees Y/n’s silhouette become all the smaller as the hallway continues forward and a student, much older, opens the door to the left.
Once again, he falls against the dried off paint. But this time let his arms hang loosely by his sides, lend his head as far up as it goes, to stare at the high ceiling and breathe out loudly.
The days seem to obscure each other. How the distinctive line between day & night blemishes at its edges, and creates a wavering pattern of his life. Jacob sits in the library. Though, this time, he looks out over the high shelves and people’s heads from the second floor. To follow the figures from above as they navigate the shelves of titles and to look out the top part of the windows to see the snow covered cityscape. How this place seems unaffected by time, he thinks as his chin lies in his palm.
The door from below opens again, and his eyes diverge quickly from the window down to the first floor. He sees the hair color at the top of the stranger’s head, it shines in a different shade than the one he seeks for. Therefore, Jacob feels his shoulder fall into a comfortable position once again and his eyes aspire for the white landscape through transparent shine.
After another passing of the clock, a sensation, in heavier violence than the night weather, has taken a place on both of his shoulders. It weighs heavy over his chest, for a single second he forgets how to breathe. Without any intentions, his hands grab the textbook at the center of the table. Slowly, in contrast to the thoughts racing through his head, Jacob takes just a momentarily stop to them, as to figure out what to say. Though, words never come out when the eyes behind him meet his own. Instead, a laugh chimes throughout their part of the library. Sweet and bright, boyish as from a memory from a past life.
Sunwoo stands behind him, letting his hand hit Jacob’s back gently as the ends of his eyes curl to a crescent.
“Is the devil behind me or something?” He continues to laugh before walking to the opposite side of the table. Jacob still won’t answer, his eyes instead follows Sunwoo’s silhouette around the edge of the wood. As he stands up, he suddenly covers the massive window, but the sunlight shines back on him when Sunwoo sits down before him.
“I have something.” The one on the opposite side is quieter than before. Jacob curiously tilts his head as Sunwoo reaches down to the floor. His backpack lies beside the chair, and as his shoulders disappear behind the table, Jacob hears slight sounds of paper scratching against each other.
“Are you eating again?” Jacob asks bewildered.
Sunwoo takes his finger up and pushes it before his lips, “Do you want some or not?”
Jacob’s face falls flat once again. Eyes on Sunwoo’s as his own expression lights up all of a sudden.
“Exactly.” He whispers.
The paper folds a few more times and Jacob looks behind him to see if anyone else sees them. Sunwoo’s hand comes up from the white paper bag, in his palm, gently cupped lies a golden brown pastry, the layers flakey and falls off in his hand. Jacob turns back towards Sunwoo and reaches his hands out for the layered pastry. He brings it up to his face, beneath his nose as to smell it. Sunwoo reaches down again and smiles when Jacob’s eyes are wide and searches for the specific flavor wrapped in golden dough.
“It’s vanilla.” He whispers and Jacob looks at him, “I’ll take the chocolate one.”
His words gently wrap around his heart and sets off a sensation he has never experienced before. It’s warm like the memory of coming inside and closing the door after being outside. And when he looks at Sunwoo who takes an outlandish bite of his own pastry, Jacob feels the urge to take out his wings and gently cover the kid’s shoulder like it's a blanket. To fend off the nightmares of the world, events that make one soul a bit smaller, all of it would not come to him if Jacob stood like in imagination, protecting him fully.
They sit in silence for some time. Let each book page that lifts from one side to the other blow around their ears. Jacob savors the last bit of his pastry and looks out the window again. Snow falls outside and lies like a grainy filter over the city horizon. As he falls deeper in trance of the portal to the outside, and counts each flake falling from above, Sunwoo suddenly taps his finger on the side of the computer.
Jacob looks at the kid with wide eyes. His head slightly forward and posture completely still, as if he does stand outside in the pouring snow.
“Our holidays are soon.” Sunwoo too leans forward, “Eric-”
He points at Jacob, “You know Eric?”
The other one nods attentively.
“Okay, good." “He’s holding a party this weekend, let’s go.”
Jacob leans back again, letting his back fall to the rest of the chair and he looks at Sunwoo with a rather uncertain expression.
“I don’t know.”
“Why?” He sees Sunwoo’s eyes squint with a momentary head tilt.
“I’m not good at parties.” His shoulders are stiff and features rigid and square.
Sunwoo too falls back in his chair, to mimic Jacob’s expression before smiling again “Saying it like it’s hockey or something, you just have to be there.”
Jacob’s still looking at him without words or smiling.
“Either way, Party Pooper, I’m going to get Y/n to the party.” He suddenly grabs the black ink pen from the right side of the desk. Brings it close to the Angel’s face and motions it in the same pause between his words.
The silly little witch movements makes Jacob quite amused, but nonetheless, the words leaving his mouth and the determination behind his eyes. It all shines like the metal frame, outlining each square of the high ceiling window.
The Angel lifts himself off the back rest once again, reaches his hand up to the metal tip at the end of the plastic pen. As so, he forces it down to the wooden surface and Sunwoo still looks at him.
“What if she doesn’t want to go?”
“I’ll have to deal with that later.” He lifts his shoulders.
“But isn’t that a waste of time?” Jacob continues.
“Not in my opinion.”
“But what if-”
“Do you have something against her or what?” Sunwoo cuts him off abruptly. The one from the opposite side notices how his eyes diverge from his own and flees everytime Jacob chases after them. Sunwoo’s own question is rather loud when he crosses his arms and eyes sharp directed towards the Angel. Jacob feels his own hands grasp each other in his lap and his eyes awkwardly look down the first floor as to see if anyone heard.
“Not against her so.” Jacob shifts his arms around before his chest.
“I just don’t think…” He struggles as their eyes lock once more and in the furthest corner of his vision, he sees Sunwoo’s fingers impatiently bend the plastic of the ink pen.
“...That she’s good for you.”
Sunwoo furrows his eyebrows, "Why?" Like you know her? She doesn’t talk to anyone.”
“I do know.” He looks at the other one sternly, “I do know, Sunwoo.”
He rolls his eyes, “Who have you talked to? Danny from architecture that has seen her once like everyone else? Stop falling for peer pressure, Jacob.”
“No.” Jacob buries his face in his hands. The sigh echoes throughout the square area they are in. He stands up. The chair grinds against the wooden floor and spreads from their table. Students from the same floor behind the bookshelves eye the two.
“Chill, dude.” Sunwoo puts his hands up.
“No.” Jacob grabs Sunwoo’s right wrist and forces him up, his chair too leaves a mark on the parquet.
Sunwoo sees the eyes of their peers as each step Jacob takes echoes throughout the shelves and climbs up to the floor ceiling. The right side of the double door flies open as they walk out. At the center of the horizontal hall, the one in disguise looks left and right as the one connected by the wrist stares at the other in bewilderment. At last, at the end of the hallway on its left plane, sits a door in the same color as the wall. A rather beaten up one with a slim frame and no rectangular plate to inform its name.
Before Sunwoo realizes what he’s staring at, Jacob forces his hand closer to him and starts walking towards the door. And at just one meter away from it, as Jacob reaches out to the door handle.
“You’re gonna take me hostage now or what?” Sunwoo asks.
Jacob doesn’t answer, instead, the door behind the two of them shuts close. The corridor they stand in falls silent once again and neither of them can make out the lines of silhouettes or practical equipment in the still darkness.
“This is a secret.” Jacob speaks to him as his eyes have started to adjust, “I’m here to protect you, Sunwoo.” He says clearly.
“Okay?” Sunwoo says skeptically.
Jacob sighs deeply before he angles his arms to get the blue fabric off his back. Now, Sunwoo’s eyes have also started to become familiar with the shadows. And before him, near the corner of the room where the shelves are, he sees Jacob struggling to get the blazer off and his arm meet the one shelf, creating a contained sound in the room.
“Don’t take off your clothes, dude.” Sunwoo eyes him in disgust.
“I’m not getting naked.” Jacob answers frustrated. He refuses to argue further with the one crammed into the far corner. Sunwoo stands beside a rigid old broom, his eyes following its silhouette down to the floor and takes it in his hands.
As he looks at the one opposite towards him, his figure outlined by the faint light seeping through the cracks in the door. Jacob finally gets that piece of fabric off his arm and the blazer falls to the left off his leg. Suddenly, the light between the door and its frame fades out of view. The liminal space in the midst of the corridor becomes even darker and cramped as a white clean complexion rises above their heads.
Sunwoo squints as he lets go of the broom. The wooden material hits the wall loudly before it plummets to the floor.
“Take the wings off man, that’s embarrassing.”
Jacob feels Sunwoo's shoulder brush against his own, and without hesitation, Jacob turns around before the other reaches the door handle. The fabric of his shirt tangled between Jacob’s own fingers as he drags the boy closer, away from the door.
“It’s real! I’m your guardian angel!” He whispers-shouts and points at the feathers behind him, “Touch!”
“No!” Sunwoo holds the same tone.
“Why are you so stubborn!?”
“Why do you have wings on!?”
“Because I’m your guardian angel!”
Jacob continues to whisper back at him, Sunwoo stops answering, instead silently stares at him in the dark. The Angel lets out a frustrated sigh and as he does, the wings behind him twitches slightly, opens and closes as much as they can in the liminal space. Sunwoo tilts his head, through with furrowed eyebrows and back against the door. He still bends his knees slightly to see the end feathers of his wings.
“Here.” Jacob has stopped whispering, his voice, gentle and silken like the first time they met. He turns around, with his back towards Sunwoo, to let him see the practical details, he spreads them slightly.
“They look pretty good. Where did you buy them?” Sunwoo asks with crossed arms.
“You can’t buy them, I’m born with them.”
There’s two holes in the back of his white shirt. Slit vertically down, and the right goes just a bit further down the left. And truly, as Sunwoo leans forward, he tells his eyes not to deceive him when the skin underneath the layers of white feathers connects seamlessly to the back.
“You truly are a weirdo.” His posture falls straight again, back against the door surface.
“What does your wings even have to do with Y/n?”
Jacob reflects the change in the way Sunwoo holds his body, as he lifts his head up to face him. The Angel rolls his eyes, letting the distance between his lips grow wider as to whisper debate part two. But as his vision, faded in shadows from all sides, comes up to the same level as Sunwoo’s, the eyes of his human, spellbound by genuine intrigue. Sunwoo’s head is tilted just slightly upwards, to watch his features in an angle never discovered before. Turn the motif he has built up of the man before him the past week.
“Not my wings.” ”But that I'm your angel.” Jacob corrects him. Without any motions, instead let his arms fall vertically down its sides, like before they stepped into the room without brilliance.
“Sorry, I don’t get it, dude.” He put his hands up again, “You don’t think it’s a good idea to shoot the arrow or are angels psychic all of a sudden?”
His wings flutter just slightly as Jacob breathes in, “First off, I’m not Cupid. Second, I’m not psychic.” He breathes out, “My mission is to protect you, we’re-you’re in danger, she’s betraying this place, using others for her own need.” The Angel points with his finger towards Sunwoo’s face. Follow the breaths as he speaks.
Jacob comes closer, laying his right arm over Sunwoo’s shoulder. The soft material of his sweater and the slight warmth that filter through the minimal knits. The Angel’s hand gently on his consciousness, Sunwoo abruptly becomes aware of the four walls, a border tight against them, cold because of lack of either sunlight or electric heat. A part of Jacob becomes rather confused as the one he protects, stubborn and appalled by inferiority, doesn’t move his hand away. Instead let it share its warmth.
Jacob bites his lip, nearly letting his fingers push against the fabric on his shoulder a bit harder. Something at an unknown place in his mind, draws a deep line within that place. Impending on the new wound, a part of him wonders if the words on the tip of his tongue are worth saying. That he’s slowly, but firmly pulling a part of the fabrication of the very machine he rules and protects. Nonetheless, he looks up again and speaks;
“I need to protect myself too, Sunwoo.” He whispers, “I’m not here on my own will, I need you to know that.”
How the world has refused to move even one step since they tread into the room. When they come back to the open floor and watch the identical students from before sit in the same position and flip through pages, the two of them wonder if it is the same pages they look at as before. Though, as the chairs from their table stand turned and diagonal, next to the vertical lines of the floor. Jacob watches how Sunwoo takes himself closer to the decorated edge. Like an image from a painting, the Angel sees his back clearly in view, follows each step and takes the place right beside Sunwoo as he leans on the wooden railing. Both of their shoulders fall in place without agitation as they look at the slow motions of the life before them. Sunwoo who fills his lungs fully with air, his body shifts like the transition of winter to spring as he breathes out. In another perspective, Sunwoo himself watches the white landscape grow all whiter as the snow continues to fall. Build on its height and dream of reaching back home.
“I guess that makes sense.” Sunwoo’s voice is rather low when his chin is cupped between the skin of his palm.
Jacob tilts his head and looks down at him, “What makes sense?” His voice is gentle. Pure like the true white color of snow. Sunwoo smiles slightly, which only makes the right tilt of Jacob’s head force the end strands to reach his shoulder.
“That.” Sunwoo looks up at Jacob. To use his shoulders in effortless motions, let the sharpest part guide the Angel’s eyes to an abstract point behind his back. Jacob eyes him without words and takes his hand behind his back, opens it fully and stretches his fingers around the center of the two wings.
Sunwoo laughs, “That explains why you’re so weird.”
“Good or bad?” Jacob asks worriedly.
“Good.” Sunwoo answers without hesitation and Jacob once again is left in a lone corner over the hidden paragraph between a single word.
“I like weird people.”
The one clothing reveal didn’t become as scrutinizing as he once thought. He watches the top of people’s heads navigate through the thin lines and how their steps cut right through the sun reflection on the parquet flooring. Though, despite the positive outcome of the break of rules, there must be an underlying reason, in his unconsciousness as to why he refuses to look up from the stained floor.
“Are you immortal or something?” Sunwoo asks abruptly. His voice, low and muted to the outside world, but the clearest thing in a single room as he speaks to him while conscious of the sentient world. His head finally gets to move with the minutes left of daytime.
“No, I’m not.” He furrow his eyebrows.
“How old are you then?” He looks back at Jacob.
The Angel’s quiet for a second, “As old as you? Or what do you mean?”
“So twenty three?”
“Probably not twenty three in human twenty three ways, but close enough.” Jacob motions with his hands.
“In dog years?”
“No-” Jacob stops himself to look up at the chandelier in a high ceiling, leans closer to Sunwoo and tilts his head, “Dog years, isn’t that the concept of a dog's maturity in human scale?”
“Yup.” Sunwoo answers in gray, dull tone.
“Okay, then kind of.”
“Do you have any memories then?” Sunwoo is now fully leaned on his arm with his entire body shifted towards Jacob’s own essence.
“I do.” Jacob smiles.
“What do you remember?”
“You.”
“Nothing else?” Sunwoo asks. Jacob looks away from him, the lids stay open as they refuse to close as he looks at the wall of spines. To run through all the pictures captured in time, see the grainy filter over his past and not a single one has without his face. He’s always there, either in perfect font or dream.
“No.” Jacob shakes his head.
“Really?” Sunwoo says skeptically, “You didn’t accidentally drop your ice cream before God or something?”
Jacob shakes his head, “I remember you dropping your ice cream at four, you started crying but your mom and dad were somewhere else, so I just stared at you. That was awkward.”
Sunwoo smiles at how Jacob’s eyes are focused towards a distant point as he describes parts of the life sequence. There is something amidst them, that distance between their two shoulders that have seemed to become shorter for every day, that has started to grow. A single sprout that gently planted itself at the center without either knowledge, and now starts to spread its petals. Time has seemed to strengthen the fabrication of each leaf.
It is rather funny, Sunwoo thinks, how the flower has bloomed between the frozen cracks of a winter. But only a sprout that has been through wither would be able to force itself up, between those layers. Therefore, Sunwoo finds himself quietly giving into the fabrication between the two of them. When looking at Jacob, he realizes he’s staring at his youth.
“I’ve been here as long as you” Jacob says suddenly, “, and stay here til you do.”
Sunwoo doesn’t say anything.
“All you do affects me too.”
Sunwoo nods his head silently and leans on his palm, “So if I jump out the window you’ll die too?” It was rather satirical, a hypothetical scenario wrapped in unseriousness from Sunwoo’s side, but the human has come to realize angel’s don't always take sarcasm.
“Yes.” Jacob says with a stern face. Sunwoo laughs silently and Jacob eyes him. Observing his serene motions and dares to walk closer.
“So don’t do anything bad.”
“Nice home.” Sunwoo looks around the room before he drops his bag onto a right angled carpet that hides whatever’s before the door.
“Mine looks like shit.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jacob nods his head and walks over to his bed.
“You do?” Sunwoo stands before the closed door and looks at Jacob who lies between sheets and pillows of low saturation in peach shade essence.
“Not seen it now, but when you were little.” He looks at the ceiling, “I just guess you haven’t changed.”
Sunwoo’s shoes stand in different directions of the black carpet beside Jacob’s that pointed towards the wall. He walks over to the one laying down, inspecting him silently before taking the pillow closest to the edge.
“You’re dissing me or what?”
“No-” Jacob doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Sunwoo throws the pillow down the calm state of the Angel’s face.
“Yeah, Cupid.”
“I’m not, Cupid.” Jacob sits up and takes the pillow from under his head and aims right at the center between Sunwoo’s eyes.
And so it continues until the one with a full human heart lies on the floor. His locks scattered over Jacob’s peach muted carpet. He looks a little pathetic from above, Jacob thinks and smiles. As the reflection of the angel above him clears, the outlines become perfect, he sees how Jacob reaches his hand out towards him.
“You’re so weird, why are you hitting your guardian angel?” Jacob forces him up and they stand in the center of the small square.
The brief daylight hours has passed this age by too and now, it’s the warm light from Jacob’s ceiling that pierce through the window and spread out over the nearby snow. The room has warmed up from the center where they sit and spread slowly to the outer corners. Jacob sits on the bed, his back against the window frame. In contrast, Sunwoo sits at the very bottom, on the peach colored carpet, but both with posture bend forward over the textbooks and computers like grass over the windy field.
Sunwoo has fallen in and out of the blank page before him about three times. To look at the window behind Jacob where, it every time, disappoints him, because there is nothing to look at in winter evening. Or go to the toilet.
At some point, when Jacob’s cursor hits the end of the A4 page, he stretches his back and yawns. Sunwoo looks over the horizontal line where the bedsheet gathers in folds, and sees how Jacob’s arms struggle in the blue fabric. The sounds of keys on the computer are now lost from this space and only the light noise of the ventilator lingers between the four walls. As Jacob stops stretching his arms, he takes off his blazer and lets it fall behind him on his orange sheets. The white wings stretch to the two opposite sides of his bed before they fall.
Sunwoo looks at him while leaning his hands on the carpet behind him, “How do you shower?”
Jacob answers hesitantly, “Like you normally shower?”
“Do you wash them with shampoo or something?”
“No..”
“Gross.” Sunwoo makes a face.
“Why? "Should I?” His eyes widen as he caresses the feathers of his left wing.
“I don’t know.” He suddenly falls down onto the floor, smiles as he closes his eyes, “I’m no angel.”
“Pretty obvious.” Jacob hums quietly and walks up.
At some the curve of his posture had fallen so deep that Jacob swore he could hear cracks of bones. And instead to pull strings above his back, Jacob fell backwards on the pillows. The computer on the lower end of his stomach and his chin in an unflattering position to see the lit up screen. Though, he let the words between four frames judge his current state and the sounds of keys filled the four walls. After another passage of time, Jacob’s stomach growls and he registers the lack of sound as he himself stops writing.
“Are you hungry, Sunwoo?” Silence.
As no answers come from the one below him, Jacob reaches himself over the edge. Spread across his carpet lies Sunwoo with his arms tangled and body in a rather complex position. His eyes, closed off from this plane of existence as his mind reaches another. For just a moment, Jacob watches him quietly from the bed above. There is something nostalgic that evokes from this scene.
Though, he does eventually stand up and take the pillow from the inner corner. It’s just a little cold as it was compressed between himself and the wall, isolating their frame from the winter lined streets. Jacob sits down beside Sunwoo’s chest, he gently lifts the boy’s head, without much sound lets the soft fabric catch his locks and the rest of his head. They sit for a second, completely unchanged, but Jacob sees the skin on Sunwoo’s upper arms create patterns of small dots. That he knows, his human form does that too when the cold itches to take the degrees from him. So, Jacob reaches over to his bed again, takes the blanket at the very end. He stretches it before it falls to the floor and replicates the silhouette of Sunwoo’s body.
As time passes and the visor on the clock up on the high wall runs in bold progress, Jacob sits in a silence, one he only can experience in this form. Despite the constant noise of the clock, the undying reminder that he does exist, the world somehow moves slower.
Jacob looks at Sunwoo’s face. Complexions without stress, in dreams he must be somewhere else, where life doesn’t tweak his eyebrows and strangle his skin. As they sit like this, Jacob wonders about his mission. The purpose of his arrival and existence. If he gets to reveal his thoughts, be true to the feelings inside his chest, Jacob can’t see a possible outcome where he forces Sunwoo’s heart in another direction. Despite their agreement, nothing but Y/n seem to cast over him as if in dreams.
Jacob reaches out his right hand over Sunwoo’s hair, gently feeling the strands brush past his skin. His mission to protect seems to have widened its edges and to save the boy before him has become more than to prevent blood scattered wounds. But to see him in delight knowing his fortune. As Jacob comforts his other half in the night, he thinks of young love and to, at least, not let the another presence color Sunwoo’s heart.
Ever since that day, when Jacob, just another student in his class, revealed his life secret and told him there’s someone actively protecting him. He hasn’t been able to describe it perfectly, to set his finger on the singular mark and feel confident in the linear placing. Rather, he lets the skin of his point finger brush past the reflective paper, stop at a spot underneath a highlighted world, until he reverts back to the opposite side of the paper.
As he walks away from campus, out on the broad streets, two lined at the edges and a center path where all the snow has collected towards the sides, painted brown from cars. Sunwoo feels a strange sort of responsibility for the new perspective of the world. Despite the enlightenment being a revelation of a ruler watching him silently, he feels an even stronger obligation to become an active part of the otherworldly dynamic.
A father with his child walks past him, and Sunwoo pushes his hands even deeper into his pockets. His breath paints a vague white cloud in the shade of the snow beneath him. And when a car drives past him, in the back of his mind, he considers walking closer towards the decorated glasses.
As he looks at the same scenery, but in different seasons, he stops as he comes outside the mall. At the center, beneath the fabrication folding out over the street, he looks at the sign that will soon turn on, and then, the glass doors on row. How people push and pull the doors without a consistent pattern. Each window shop is scattered with snowflake stickers, red ornaments, green bushes and golden lightning. Sunwoo adjusts his hands in his pockets once again as he longingly watches into the world he knows too well.
To stand there, he realizes how much of his time depends on a single ritual, a single person. What is he supposed to do if not going in, he thinks. Jacob was busy, apparently. Been running around all month trying to convince him to not reach out his hands towards Y/n, seems like life finally catches up to him. Sunwoo smiles as he thinks about Jacob ignoring papers, deadlines and assignments and how his wings twitch in anxiety as he runs to the shelf in the library. .
“Hi.”
Sunwoo jumps from one concrete square to the other. By reflexes alone, his hands tangle themselves out of the pockets, and he holds them before his face directed right towards the voice who called him. Though, the frown on his face fades from view as he sees the features between his fingers. On the opposite side of the concrete square, drowned in melted snow, stands the girl he watches everyday from this place, though, instead she stands beside him.
She looks at him, doesn’t break eye contact for even a second when his hands fall down to its sides. As they stare through the looking glass to the heart of the other, Sunwoo wonders if Y/n has ever looked at him for this long. He figures the longest they’ve held some sort of visual connection outside his dreams, it is the barely second long stare when he drops a pen during lectures and she turns behind to look at what went on.
Y/n herself forces the part of her face to stay in place. The boy before her stands with eyes large as the reflective ornaments behind them. He refuses to blink and she wonders if she’ll need to walk up to him and move the lids up and down for him. As to not laugh, Y/n reaches down to the ground, and Sunwoo’s eyes follow. A glove and candy wrapper lies on the spot between the two of them, it must have flown out when he shoved his hands out ( like a loser!!?!??!? ) he thinks, does a painful face when she faces the ground instead of him.
“Here.” Before she reaches up fully, Sunwoo lets his shut eyes and creased skin fall into an unbothered expression. The hand in front of his mouth, fingers that curled up slightly as if to rip a piece out of his own teeth, shifts behind his back. Now she stands before him fully, even closer than the first time she scared him. Her hand with his glove and wrapper are dreadfully close, in a way where he sees his past selves fall to the floor. He thinks he can sense her perfume from this distance (really it’s the beauty shop five meters away) and he hopes to brush past the skin of her hands when he takes the glove.
“Thanks” Sunwoo scratches the back of his neck and reaches out carefully for her hand. Though, he doesn’t need to wish as he spreads his palm. A single star enchanted in a miracle must have fallen in daylight as Y/n takes her free hand around his wrist gently, turns it so his palm faces the sky and gives the glove and wrapper. A butterfly that has been slowly waking up in his stomach, for the first time sets itself free when she brushes past his fingers.
“No worries.” She smiles and Sunwoo says something incoherent which makes Y/n lean in closer. The simple motion makes him nearly drop the glove again and Y/n smiles even harder than the moment before.
To have never paid much attention to the boy before him, simply just acknowledged his present when the moment called for it, she feels strangely enthralled by having so much affect on him. Though, she decides to conceal that feeling, hiding it away in the cold shadows so as to not make judgment for her.
“You’re not with Jacob?” She asks curiously.
Sunwoo who has stood in absolute silence, barely on his knees as they seem to give up every time she takes a step closer towards him. The butterflies grow old in a single second at the mention of the Angel’s name. That conversation from a day before replays in his mind and apprehensive commotion take his heart from behind, like the sudden wind. He straightens his posture.
“No, he had other things.” Sunwoo falls over his own words and the single pupil can’t seem to find a comfortable spot in the crowded entrance decorated in warm tones. Y/n’s own arm falls to her sides, out of her pockets and her chin forces upwards, to let her features hidden under the scarf out. Each part and motion of her essence seem to open up as Sunwoo forces his body closer against his heart. To rigidly press up his shoulders and force the scarf higher up, as to feel his warm breath on the fabric.
“Are you cold, Sunwoo?” Y/n takes another step towards him, takes her hand without a glove on his red cheek. The sigh at the back of his throat that suffocates behind the material of clothing, he sees the red ornaments in the background, become vivid as her eyes, clear as the lightning in the shop window, looks into his own. A part of him speaks to lean in against her touch, close his eyes and let her brush the past off his skin. While he hears how Jacob’s voice lingers between his two ears. To run away and stay close and protect his unstained heart.
“You really are.” Sunwoo doesn’t get to react before Y/n takes his arm jacket. To navigate the thin space between padded layers and paper bags, Sunwoo nearly trips over as they come to the final glass door, dividing the two spaces. In the mall, at the black carpets where melted snow has spread over, they stand, Y/n still in grip with his jacket.
“You should get something warm.” Y/n says and looks up at him as they walk further into the mall.
“I have no money.” Sunwoo answers distressed as he can feel Jacob’s almighty pressure beat down on him from above.
“I have, don’t worry.”
How foolish he does feel as they sprint pass the endless store windows and openings. His sneakers that are not built for melted snow lose grip on the marble floor as they come closer to a cafe in the inner corner of the mall. Sunwoo curses himself silently as he every season refuses to change shoes, better not become a habit if he ever gets rich enough to get a car, he thinks.
The cafe they walk into has a rather dark complexion, contrasting to the white marble floor of the outside. Y/n is still holding his arm, she leads him further into the warm light and velvet furnitures. Sunwoo simply looks up at her own features as she gently pushes him down the couch in the absolute furthest corner of the cafe. Y/n herself, takes a step back, in which Sunwoo starts incoherently talking and reaching out his arm again.
“I’m getting us something warm, I’ll be back, Sunwoo.”
His arm, freezed in that space she left it in. He watches her silhouette disappear behind a wall to get to the counter, and when only the low sound of christmas music reaches him. He falls back into the velvet material, smiles so deeply that he has to hide his face in between the material of the scarf.
His emotions as if being pushed by two opposite parts, he feels like. Sunwoo rests his head against the soft material and feels two identities on each shoulder. Jacob on one, Y/n on the other. Each one takes a stern grip on his shirt and creates tidal waves in his heart. And how hard it pulsates in the very center of his chest. He tries to figure out, as he watches the abstract pattern on the ceiling, is it of fear of complete infatuation?
He doesn’t get to wonder about that for much too long as he hears footsteps come all closer. Sunwoo forces himself off the back rest, a red pillow lands on the floor, before his feet. But it flashes past him and he forgets it as soon as Y/n stands before him with a black tray. Her beanie and scarf is off and it rather rearranges her hair and shirt. So beautifully natural in a slightly tired stage, how he wants to grab his shirt and kiss her, he thinks. And if it weren’t for Jacob at the other line, he might have stood up and asked her.
“You’re throwing pillows?” She asks while laughing. Y/n place the tray on the table and reach down. Sunwoo, too, reaches for it after scratching his neck. They awkwardly meet at the very bottom of the floor, both of them with their own hand on the velvet material. Sunwoo looks in her eyes genuinely as she too has paused before him. As if it’s the only time in his life where stars collide, he observes each of her shadows and highlights in deep adoration, as if to paint that picture when he can’t reach out for her.
Y/n who gifted her hand to fold him weak in his knees, feels her own heart suddenly chime off like the bells in the far winter distance. Those seconds feel like minutes and she tears her eyes off his own and takes the pillow.
“You should eat, Sunwoo.” She coughs and motions at the tray.
He slowly sits up too, looks at the tray. Latte, a pie of sorts and two apples.
“Okay.” He stutters and tries to take off his scarf. The end tangles itself into his jacket which in turn, secures in a part of the couch.
Y/n bites her lip as too force down a genuine smile over his fast paced and incautious motions.
“Here, drink this.” She coughs again as she holds out the white porcelain cup towards him. How the tidal wave turns again and Sunwoo scratches his neck and leans just slightly away from the cup.
“I don’t think I should-”
“Why?” Her smile disappears in an instant and he grows even more anxious.
“I’ve been sleeping badly.” He forces a laugh and takes the cup from her hands, “But I’ll take it either way.”
Time awkwardly passes them as they sit by the table. Sunwoo drinks from the coffee, but hasn’t touched either the pie or the apple. A part of her suspiciously watches the scene in third person perspective. The rigid posture of his shoulder and the constant change in focus point. As if someone else is on his mind.
“What are you thinking of, Sunwoo?” She asks gently. He looks at him with big eyes and then the window.
“The coffee." He says enthusiastically and lifts the cup, “I think it’s the best of my life!” He smiles, but he judges her as unconvinced by the look she gives him alone, so he supports his statement, just like in class, “Wow!”
As no words come out or a change in expression, Sunwoo closes his eyes for a second and mentally throws his body out the window. And when he opens and sees her face once again, he falls back in his seat.
Another moment of silence passes.
“You can tell me, Sunwoo.” She smiles and scoots a bit closer towards him, “If you’re comfortable of course, I’m a good listener.”
The pendulum in his heart swings to the opposite side as he looks at her eyes filled with warm light reflection from above. The worries in his mind, that’s been running all day and night, that tears at his skin and holds him away from dreams. He holds the cup in his hands, because if he even dares to open his mouth, he feels the words come out of him like waterfalls.
“I’m just a bit confused, I guess.” He admits and looks at the dark wall.
“Of what?” She asks with a low voice and watches his side profile.
It is painfully quiet before he speaks, to filter the words he wants to say, “Life, I guess.” He says, “I don’t really know what I want.”
Y/n, too, becomes rather like the snow falling outside as he sincerely, just lightly, loft the curtain cover over his heart. The music fades as her mind leans closer towards him, the thin line into an undiscovered part of the world.
“Is it a lot of choices or…is it just blank?” She asks cautiously.
“Or I do know.” he falls back in his seat, “It’s just, someone said it’s not a good choice for me. But I feel happy when I think about he-it.”
The sentence leaving his lips comes like an arrow, aimed at the very center of her complex. The fatal end of the arrow forces itself in between her skin and before Y/n can even react, it sits, so dangerously in her heart, hanging by that very metal. How her own structured play melts in that same spot, run down her lips even when that inner part burns to keep it in.
“I also want something that is bad, apparently.” She speaks and looks down her own lap.
“Is it a person or…” Sunwoo dares to ask, “or something else?”
“Something else.” Y/n fiddles with the hem of her sweater.
“Will it hurt you if you do it?”
Y/n looks up from the tearing string of her shirt. As another snowflake falls to the floor, their eyes connect. She needs to look slightly down, as he lies on his back against the furniture. The lights illuminate him from above and a single shine from the left casts itself over his heart and eyes. The sight before her leaves her breathless somehow, the arrow twists itself a bit harder and somehow she leans in and answers him with a tone of clear night sky.
“I don’t think so.” She pauses and looks at his brown eyes dipped in sunlight, “Will it hurt you?”
Sunwoo shakes his head delicately against the fabric, “No, …but someone else might.”
She frowns, “Might?”
“I’m not sure, I haven’t ask-” He stops talking mid sentence, sees from the perspective behind the wall how the curtains lift a centimeter higher for every word spoken, “I don’t know.” He repeats.
Sunwoo’s hand, softly spread out over the couch. The velvet material forces itself out between his fingers and plummets down against the frame when another, just like his, lies over it. Sunwoo looks down at the spot where two essences connect. How the impulses bridge over to the other when they lay skin to skin. He follows her arm, up to her shoulder and her eyes. He gets taken aback just a bit by her expression. She’s awfully quiet and won’t give him that gentle sweet smile she has been giving him since outside. Rather, it’s something earnest in her dull frame. Something that can’t be quite expressed in words, rather he stares at her and tries to figure the feeling in her eyes. There’s a window in her eyes to another world, and he feels an yearning to get to that place.
“Sunwoo?” She asks him with her hand still on his, “Will you help me?” Y/n stops.
“Help me get away-”
Y/n’s hand falls behind her back, when Sunwoo abruptly takes his hand closer to his own presence. To stand up and reach for the high ceiling when everything else melts to the floor.
“Sorry, I have-'' He desperately reaches for his scarf in between the pillows.The oil lamp on a round table shakes as he accidentally hits it walking away from the table. Sunwoo tears his eyes off her figure and down to the floor the moment he sees her expression drenched in midnight rain. Though, the angel on his shoulder points at her wildly, turns on her sides and desperately shouts in his right ear until its voice rings of pain.
“I’ll pay you back later.” He falls over words and trips over his other foot as he turns on his heel. Y/n opens her mouth, but before even the first syllable escapes her lips, Sunwoo is behind the wall, out of view. The last trace of him is the fading footsteps running out of the small corner, and the dark velvet spot where his hand was.
“You forgot your apple.” She nearly whispers as her voice is no longer to use.
The sun has completely disappeared under the horizon. Not even a moon in a clear dark night, as it snows heavily. Beneath the streetlamps, where the light is at its strongest before spreading in all directions, you’ll see the feather-like fragments plummet down towards the white mass. Though it’s dark without a star course in the sky, the snow is astonishingly white that the warm tone from the lamps reflects from the ground.
A single trail in the new snow leads up to an apartment complex. Horribly painted spots in rough edges, scattered without a clear pattern and probably pretty badly isolated. Jacob sits at the edge of a window frame. About three meters off the ground. To carefully watch the secret world behind the glass, Jacob turns himself slightly and leans in towards the room. It’s completely dark, not a single light source on. Rather the only thing looking back at him is his own eyes and the faint shape of his wings.
The snow on the frame melts underneath his fingers, it turns red and itches. Jacob waves the water of his hand as his human body is a burden before starting to unlock the window. He remembers back in time, when Sunwoo had his own little room, one wall away from his parents. It was about two or three times Jacob had to force himself between the thin creak.
He gets the glass door open and widens the gap. The wind from outside prevails and spreads into the room. Brush past the curtains and extend itself onto each surface of the apartment. Jacob himself takes a step onto the carpet beneath the window. His bare foot makes no sound and a slight grind lingers between the four walls as he closes the window.
Jacob let his eyes observe the home in a panorama like manner. And at the very right of his presence, is a bed in the farthest corner. He leans in, to discern the shadows in the fabric. Nearly completely covered by the sheets, he does catch the top of her head. Y/n sleeps in near silence and Jacob carefully takes a step backwards from the bed, instead closer towards the kitchen area.
He saw the scenery from today, brushed past him and he shivered as he sat in the library. On the way home he tried to meet up with Sunwoo, but his voice was short and rigid on the other line. Events seem to fall in line for her, but stars can’t die right now, he thinks. So in a desperate attempt to save himself and Sunwoo, Jacob stands as an intruder in her home to find the red apple from the cafe. He knows she took it home, therefore he takes his hands on the wall to feel himself getting closer to something of a different texture.
“Why are you in my room?” A voice tired and confused from the corner he just left takes a single knife and lets the blade wound the quiet night. His shoulders tense up and he refuses to either turn his heel or take a look behind his back.
“I’m not.” Jacob answers in a painfully unconvincing manner.
“You are.” By the two words alone and her tone, he can see the frown on her face.
“No.” Jacob walks further away, accidentally hits the wall and moves left.
“Why are you showing your wings?”
He’s quiet for a second, “It’s a costume.”
“Like Cupid or what?” She scoffs.
He breathes in, “For the las-I’m not Cupid.” He moves his hands in an outward motion, “I’m an Angel, an Guardian Angel.”
“Seems like I hit a nerve.” She says and sits up. Jacob’s quiet. At this point, the dark complexion of the room and their eyes has adjusted to one another and Y/n sees him in the other end, outlined without any blemishing. Awkwardly rigid in the very end, reminiscent of a lamp post and he caresses his left wing.
“You never answered my question, Angel.” She says.
“What?”
“Why are you in my home?”
“I don’t know.” He flees again.
“You’re in here checking the architecture or what?” She sighs and looks at him with sharp eyes, “I know you’ve been talking with Sunwoo.”
Jacob looks at her again, expression much colder than before, “And I know you’ve been too, don’t come close to him.”
“Is that what this is about?” She asks.
“I’m not telling you.” He takes a step forward and looks over the kitchen sink, “Where do you have your food?”
“In the fridge.” Y/n deadpans.
“No.” Jacob hits his forehead.
“You’re not even human to begin with, don’t tell me where I should store my groceries.” She pushes up the sheet and stands up. Jacob looks around the counter again, to seek a rounded form with red shadows, but as the surface is seemingly empty. Jacob takes three steps towards the window and opens the glass door.
“Jacob-” Y/n turns from her bead and grabs his arm as his wings fold out in her room. The wind from outside brushes harshly against her skin.
“Don’t bring Sunwoo into your mess, Y/n.” He looks at her and his eyes of liquid moonlight, in the same shade as his wings but brighter. She’s left with her mouth just slightly agape as Jacob looks less human by a single change in perspective. The wings weighs over him heavily and another wind scatters the hair oóver his human complexion.
“But I-”
“Just don’t, please.” As the last words leave his lips and the grip on his wrists has started to loose. A wind much stronger than anything from outside forces her hair to alter from before her chest to behind her back and waters her eyes. She closes her eyes before desperately letting her upper body out the window, watch how his silhouette fades into snow in the night..
“Do you need to go, then?” Jacob stands before the sink in his room, drops of water following a constant pattern down the drain as he watches a puddle in the very bottom form. Though, he does shift his vision away, out to the open space before his bed, where on the carpet, Sunwoo lies spread out like a starfish. The sight has become too familiar that when Sunwoo isn’t here and Jacob goes to bed and looks down to see no one, it feels rather desolate. He walks through the front door nearly everyday in the afternoon or evening. Jacob asked him if he should get a mattress, full time on the hard floor spot, but Sunwoo insisted not to.
“Yes, Eric’s gonna kill me if I don't," he sighs. Jacob takes the glass up to his mouth once more and watches Sunwoo shift his head on the ash orange fabric.
“He’s like “Sunwoo,we’re were you?! I prepared this little bowl-you didn’t even show up!”” His hands up in the air, vertical from the floor. It is rather amusing when he shifts one of his legs up and starts imitating his friend in a high voice.
“Either way, Y/n’s not gonna be there.” Sunwoo sighs.
“Why?” Jacob asks.
“We sat at a cafe, short said, she probably thinks I’m a maniac or something?”
“Did you tell her about our suspicions?” Jacob eyes him.
His hands force the rest of his body off the floor. The strands in his hair are loosely tied together and his eyes roll up before coming back down, “No, I didn’t, I wouldn’t do that.”
Only the awkward lingering noise of the microwave can be heard in the room until Sunwoo speaks up again. To watch the Angel before the counter behind the illuminating light beneath the shelf, “I’m going, you decide on your own, Cupid.”
Jacob did go eventually, though half way towards Eric’s house Sunwoo needed to hold onto Jacob’s arm. The angel either fell knees first in the snow accumulated corners or landed on his back when the streetlights hit the ice at a certain angle. At the front of the house, behind the windows you’ll see pink purple shade light seeping out and faint music from the vertical wooden walls. Sunwoo takes Jacob’s lower arm tightly against himself as he nearly cartwheels down the steep to the right.
“Aren’t you supposed to fly or something? Why can’t you even walk?”
With Jacob being a closer impression of Sunwoo’s potential cross body bag when they stand before the door, the one with free hands knocks at the upper side of the rectangle piece. Before he even gets to fully let his hand fall back to his side, the door frees from the frame and before them stands Eric. Expression extremely bright at first, the most vivid detail of a single scene, but it fades when his eyes form into a frown.
“Who is he?” The one inside tilts his head and looks at Jacob desperately hanging from Sunwoo’s arm. The angel realizes the rather massive plot hole opening up from underneath him and stays quiet.
“Jacob, you’ve met before.” Sunwoo says, so clearly without any sort of doubt, that he may have convinced Eric alone with that.
“Have I?” "Maybe I have?” He looks up at the upper door frame. Crosses his arms and falls into wonder.
“Let us in Loser, feeling like a frozen fish finger out here.” Sunwoo deadpans and Eric immediately jumps to the right, extends his hand out and motions it slowly towards the warm litten inside. Jacob, though, he’s inside and feels the warmth of the electric heaters dissolve the frozen part of his skin, he becomes even more rigid.
People with faces he can’t name stands in groups. Each conversation blends together with the other and that in it by itself, overpowers the faint music playing from a corner on the left. fairy lights taken from the constellation itself hang on the edges of the second floor. It is darkly lit with a warm violet hint covered in every wood wall. A single christmas tree in the inner corner.
A strong feeling of embarrassment comes rushing over him in a single storm and Jacob awkwardly starts grabbing the color of his blazer and stands, once again, like a street lamp far from the corner.
“What are we supposed to do?” Jacob says quietly and looks over at Sunwoo. The expression of the other one is as casual as if they were just walking down the uni lectures, though, he frowns his eyes and asks him to say it again.
“What’s happening?” Jacob repeats.
Sunwoo lifts his shoulders, “What usually happens when you’re with people.”
“Am I supposed to know that?” Jacob higher his voice.
“This is what middle school dance parties prepared you for.”
“I never went to middle school.” He deadpans and Sunwoo stares at him with tired eyes. Despite the moon-like shine illuminating over the walls and reflected in the single ornaments, Sunwoo’s eyes are as dead as if staring at a piece of concrete.
“You Loser, I forgot you didn’t go to middle school.”
The Angel is about to take his arm up and defend himself, but Sunwoo shifts his vision from him towards the violent presence hitting his shoulder. The group of people standing before them, Sunwoo, returns the hit on a guy much taller than him. As if a scene out of his horrors, Jacob once again tense up as the group of guys smiles and takes Sunwoo’s shoulder, but becomes wide eyed or frowns when they see the street lamp in blue blazer.
“Who’s this?” One further back asks and Sunwoo casually takes Jacob’s own shoulder.
“Jacob, my big brother.”
“You don’t have a brother.” One is quick to interrupt.
“Now I have.” Sunwoo turns his head in a motion so quick that Jacob takes a step back. Two of them seem to have fallen into a conversation on their own, slowly walking away from the circle. Jacob makes eye contact with the one closest to him, he examines him in a sort of manner that makes him strained and legs nearly restless. As Jacob takes steps in his place that ultimately leads nowhere, he gives a painful smile to the guy closest. Lips pressed and eyes in full contrast to the smile. Is he even there? Jacob thinks as the guy, still expressionless, watches him.
Another guy, beside Mister Dazed, takes a step out and reaches his hand towards him.
“Hi, I’m Changmin." Nice to meet y-”
“I need to go.” Jacob says abruptly and the group looks at him. The Angel points at a vague part of the horribly lit corner beside the closed door. It is rather a pile of outerwear, soaked in water from molten snow,
“You smoke?” One steps closer to him and suddenly throws his arm over his shoulder. In which, Jacob tenses up even more, dramatically presses his wings closer to his skin as he feels the stranger’s arm brush against the back of his neck.
“He can’t even-” Sunwoo starts.
“Yeah!” Jacob forces a smile.
“We’ll go together.” The guy says and Jacob laughs with wide eyes.
“Actually.” He bends his back just slightly, escapes the stranger’s arms and shifts his direction. Back against the door as he moves all the further from the group, “...alone smoking is my favorite thing.” He smiles, “Been waiting all day!” Jacob takes a last step before turning fully away from them, each guy stares in silence as the door opens once again and his figure disappears out the cold landscape.
“He won’t need an extra jacket or something?” Changmin points at the door and turns his head towards Sunwoo. In which the younger lifts his shoulder and takes a step further into the house.
“He’ll figure it out sooner or later.”
To stand up for another passage in time, Sunwoo stands with the group of guys, laughs in between their sentences and moves his legs to the standard christmas playlist in the background. His stomach may be just so empty that nothing’s enough to fulfill it, therefore he takes his hands up and gently forces the plastic cup in Eric’s hand back from him. And as the alcohol runs between the veins of every passing face, the center floor fills and spreads out in every direction. At some point the music rises in volume and his peers walk across the floor, up the stairs to the second. Someone hangs on the edge and pours the drink down the crowd. When Eric started to hysterically wave his hands to the person above and the broom became a proper part of his outfit, Sunwoo moved backwards from the crowd. Sit down on a sofa beside the christmas tree.
Though, as he has been sitting in silence, watch the crowd. A voice from another direction than where the silhouettes of black slacks, mini dresses and glitter in hair stands reaches him. Though the hopeless love song playing in his right ear, a gentle voice in his left says his name.
“Sunwoo?”
To move from one square of the couch to the other, he holds his hands up as he leans against the arm rest. It is nearly more than a meter in between the two of them as he sits like that. Though, his arms fall down to his lap once he sees her figure, contrasting the christmas tree behind her. He thinks about her posture, much more rigid and sharp than when he sees her in the hallways. Both of her hands, gathered before her thighs and held a small white bag.
“Hi, Y/n.” Sunwoo says in a monotone voice. His legs fold out in a comfortable position and his face shifts, away from her own presence and focuses on the floor, the high ceiling or the people on the second floor. Y/n bites her lip, just slightly before the lip tint fades because of his motions. The space between, as time passes it becomes a wall. It makes her tug on the red straps of the white paper bag.
“Are you having fun?” She asks after a time of silence. Sunwoo looks up again at her before, once again, taking a look at the door out.
“Not really.” He admits.
“Why?” She dares to take a step closer, so her knees touch the armrest on the opposite side. Sunwoo lifts his shoulder, letting his head scan the room in a panorama like frame before it falls to his shoes.
“I don’t know, I'm a bit lonely.”
Y/n nods, though he can’t see it, “Isn’t Jacob here?”
“He is.” He sighs, “Just pissing himself outside before coming back in.” Sunwoo deadpans as his head lies in his palm. The picture he drew with just one sentence makes the tense grip on the bag a bit looser. Y/n smiles as she imagines the Angel hesitantly running after Sunwoo in the dark. Run around the house ten times, do a breathing exercise he saw on youtube and come back in. She laughs slightly. The faint sound does reach Sunwoo’s ears and he looks towards her side.
“Sounds good.” She nods.
A sequence of the rather insignificant details of her life. Lied out before him in a span of a few seconds. Sunwoo stares at her, breathing and feels his own essence collapse further down the fabric of the couch. To shift back his vision to the dull colors and silhouettes of his shoes, Sunwoo closes his eyes, smiles only for himself to know, letting the nail of his thumb scratch on the skin of his pointed finger.
Y/n bites her lip again, feeling a sort of rush similar to eating sugar. It runs towards every corner of her body and cycles back to her heart. Slowly, Y/n takes a seat on the couch, still with a noticeable gap in between.
“What would you say if you got a present?” She asks and tilts her head to inspect him closely.
Sunwoo frowns, “I don’t know, I haven’t.”
Y/n moves a bit closer, “You got one now, would you reject it?”
Sunwoo silently watches her, feeling how the shirt tightens around his chest.
“I guess not.” He scoffs, this time can’t suppress the way his lips crease upwards. The vision of his eyes won’t seem to fall in place, as they land on the wooden floor again.
With that, Y/n takes the white bag from her lap, how the distance becomes extremely insignificant when Sunwoo can smell her scent from the bag and her wrists. Though, he simply watches her, without words or major motions. His eyes glisten from the shining light in the ceiling, stars above the ceiling and in the top of trees, but truly she thinks none of them compares to the single reflection in his dark brown eyes.
“Here.” She shakes the bag one time.
Sunwoo hesitantly reaches his hand out for the white paper. Takes the edge between his fingers as if not to stain the perfect white shade. Sunwoo looks between the bag and Y/n’s eyes, she nods her head and smiles again. Her hands grip the hem of her dress as he anxiously thinks about how he opens the package and waits for her confirmation as he undoes each bow.
As the edges open and reveal the inside. The folds of his clothing fall over his still body and a single strand of his fringe loosens from the side and covers his eyes. With his eyes curved perfectly in chocolate shade, he looks up to her what feels like the thousandth. She nods and he takes up a red apple. He observes the shade and slight pattern in the skin.
“I bought it for you then, I wanted you to have it.” She says.
There is too, the pie slice wrapped in plastic and tied in a bow. As if a picture from before has come back to life, to the present to affect their lives. Sunwoo grips the apple a bit tighter in his palm. Let the fruit shimmer from the light in between his fingers.
“I think food as presents is best.” She says suddenly, “You use it.” In the very bottom of the paper bag, filled to all for corners lies a red packet of strawberries.
He looks at the apple once again. He can’t quite describe the feeling in between the ribs and his lungs. How his heart beats profusely and the vision before him is as if from a dream. Sunwoo swears that this couch, behind this tree in this light, he has dreamt of before last night in his bed alone in his apartment. But unlike him in that bed in his past, he can’t without hesitation or extra thought bring her gift to his mouth and let it fill his heart. How the red skin glistens astonishingly bright, to fill his heart with red until the end of life. But unconsciously, he turns the apple, as if looking for mold spots. Purple shades where it has been infested and already consumed.
Though, as Y/n looks at him with an expression she has never given him or anyone else. One that wouldn’t be seen in the crowd, just between where the secret records can be hidden and never played. Sunwoo finally licks his lips, brings the fruit up to his mouth and takes a bite of the apple.
How the fiber texture crushes and spreads sweetness all over his mouth as he bites down. He looks at the broken spot where the red turns white and visualizes the deep red becoming a part of his own self, his own essence. As he looks up from that spot, he sees Y/n close to him. Her upper body leaned over his legs and her features so detailed in view that everything else bleeds into the other. And he nearly starts coughing on the piece of apple in his mouth.
Though, as she is leaned over, she holds one of the strawberries in her hand. Bring it close to his lips. Her left hand comes down to a spot on the couch between his thighs to come even closer when his face blossoms spring, red like the two fruits and forces his eyes away from her. Unintentionally lay his eyes on the crowd unaware and start laughing.
“Please, Sunwoo.” She says in a strawberry sweet tone.
Sunwoo rolls his eyes, in a single motion comes back up and takes a bite of the strawberry in her hand. Immediately after, taking her wrist and guiding the remaining part up towards her own, in which she too takes a bite. At that single moment, Sunwoo shifts abruptly closer to her chest as a cheer breaks out at the center of the floor. Red paper petals, like snow itself paints the space between floor and ceiling before decorating the floor.
-
How that world becomes silent as he steps out into the snow and lets the door behind him close. Jacob stands with his hands down his sides and watches how the moon and her stars let it shine graze the surface he stands on. The snow around his feet reflects it back, sparkles like it is earth's own constellation.
After some time, Jacob presses the snow beneath his feet into a tight layer as he walks away from the door. He comes to a rather hidden side where street lights are dim and a single wall faces him. To the right of a lonely window stands a green bin covered in snow. Each step echoes in that corner as he brushes off the snow and opens the bin. The moon shines its vague light over the insides and reveals black bags of shining material. He looks down for a second, letting the cold from around him come between his hands and numb them.
An angel’s mission has been broken. When Jacob opened the door once again, the crowd, as if all knowing, separated like curtains to reveal the one his purpose is to protect, on the sofa entangled like the galaxy itself with Y/n. How a scenery in a second sets off his breath and the constant fear that has been choking his neck. It chases him desperately as he walks a deep pattern in the snow. He feels his wings from behind.
At last, Jacob takes his hand back to the front. Down to his right pocket on his blazer where he takes out a lighter. Red hard plastic against his cold skin, taken from the pile of jackets, as he brings it closer to the black bags in the bin. How the music comes to him through the cracks in the walls as he struggles to push down the extinguisher. That single spot on his right thumb hurts as he, over and over again, pushes down the metal.
A hard knock against the wall before him makes Jacob fall behind the bin. He nearly lands on the snow as he embraces his knees in order to stay up. It falls silent the second after the rapture and Jacob slowly takes the lighter to his chest. Each of his breaths creates white clouds like the snow beneath him. Jacob lets his knees up gently and takes the tip of his fingers on the window frame. His figure in the corner furthest from sight while he peeks into the warm world before him. Three meters away stands Sunwoo with Y/n. Jacob swallows and lets his breath paint the cold window. They stand like him, in a far corner of the room where all the light has a hard time reaching and people pass them by. Though, the cold sensation on his fingers becomes all the more nonexistent as he watches how the two of them take each other's hands and fall back and forth to the muted rhythm. As they start turning around, Jacob sees the light nostalgic of the moon paint itself on his face. How every moment before this one has fallen obscene.
The last bit of ice around his heart, melts and drains out in the snow, as he watches how the world now belongs to them. It pains his hearts and even more the wings, but how the fear has stopped chasing him, sits beneath the window right before the Angel, to watch their mouth speak words only they can hear.
Jacob lets his hand fall off the window frame, all as his body too becomes even weaker. Finally, he sits fully in the snow with his back leaned against the wall, right under the window. The lighter against his chest, too, must now fall out of mind and plummet to the snow, like the rest of him.
“I’m so sorry, I hope you can forgive me.” Jacob whispers, and lets his wings free from his blue blazer and embrace the rest of him tightly.
A pastel filter lies over the world as Jacob opens his eyes. The angle gives the floor a steep perspective as the wooden lines lead him to the door. Red petals of paper are scattered before him. The spot on the floor has become warm, he feels his body get colder as he shifts his left leg. But rather than the cold, he feels a sensation much stronger as he gently spreads his finger over the floor. At the center of his back, pierce and rips burning wounds in his skin, and it becomes all sharper as the lines of the world become clearer.
“Jacob?”
He forces his head up from the floor, to again face the entrance. But as his eyes fall onto a figure, he angles his head upwards and sees Sunwoo looking down towards him. His silhouette is draped in haze and his blurred complexion shows concern over his impending body. Sunwoo comes all closer and falls onto his knees before Jacob’s weak figure.
“Are you okay, Jacob?” His voice is even louder than the last time.
Sunwoo’s hand touches Jacob’s arm and in the same instant, Jacob feels a sensation reminiscent of the end of a knife piercing right through the burning spot on his back. As the sensation affects him and forces him to fall back onto the floor, Sunwoo hesitantly takes his hands back, before leaning closer again.
“Jacob?”
“What’s with Jacob?” Another voice in the far corner of the room reaches the very mit. Hers is tired and exhausted, reflected in the way she looks around the room from the floor and weakly walks over to the two of them.
“Jacob?” Sunwoo says again and takes his hands over his upper arm. At that moment, he sees the spot beneath his blazer move frequently, pushing desperately to tear the fabric. Slowly, Sunwoo takes the collar of Jacob’s blazer and forces it off him. As the fabric lies beside his aching figure, both Y/n and Sunwoo watch how the white wings on Jacob’s back spreads free and falls before it fades to black. At the single spot in the room, each feather falls like snow over the pastel complexion.
Without another second of thinking or brushing his blazer, Sunwoo forces Jacob up by his arms. The fallen shut his eyes fully and his head hangs down and the strands of his hair cover whatever life left in him.
“Help me, Y/n.” Sunwoo says frustrated. Y/n watches in complete silence and opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
“Please, Y/n, please.” He begs and Y/n shakes her head, leaves that spot and takes Jacob’s other arm. The Angel hangs by his arms on the two shoulders. He is heavy on their human bodies and Sunwoo starts walking towards the door.
“Where are we taking him?” Y/n breathes out as her head hangs low because of his weight.
"The hospital.” He stresses.
“We can’t.”
“What else should we fucking do?” Y/n doesn’t speak as his eyes are desperately staring into her own. The sight alone aches her. To whatever words that could be voiced, she suppresses them. Take a steady grip on the Angel’s arm and take the first step towards the door once again. Sunwoo follows without hesitation. The trail of feathers, mixed with red paper bits from a past night. How it all seems to be from a different life when they fiddle with the door handle. At last, the apple, half bitten, hits the inner corner of a wall as Sunwoo gets the door open, looking at the new sun as if it is the first time.
© littleroaes, written and all
symbolism & metaphor guide !
thank you for taking your time to read! a virtual cookie for you 🍪
#deoboyznet#the boyz#tbz#sunwoo fluff#sunwoo imagines#jacob imagines#tbz imagines#tbz scenarios#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#tbz fanfic#Kim sunwoo#sunwoo#tbz sunwoo#the boyz sunwoo#tbz x reader#the boyz x reader#the boyz x y/n#the boyz jacob#tbz jacob#jacob bae#the boyz fluff#sunwoo angst
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DAYS OFF | MR73
matt rempe x fem! wnba player!reader
masterlist | fc nika mühl | a/n y'all i love matt rempe & i LOVE nika mühl so enjoy this
hollywoodpop has posted !
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hollywoodpop 🚨HOT NEWS🚨
Just two months after breakup with Jacob Elordi, basketball star, Yn Ln is been rumored to be with New York Rangers Center, Matt Rempe.
The two were first spotted together Sunday morning at a local coffee shop with Rempe's sister. The two appeared to be very close.
That night Ln was seen with Matt by a fan who asked for a picture.
Then Monday night, Matt, along with his sister, was seen by a bunch of people at the Uconn vs Seaton Hall game.
Although Ln was asked about this in her press conference after the game, she chose to keep it simple saying, "It's apart of my personal life that I wish to keep private for now."
What are your thoughts???👀
Leave them below ⬇️
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lnupdates LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE!! LET HER LIVE HER PRIVATE LIFE PLS!!!
rempestempe matty boy you could do so much better....
libertyrangers i think they're cute tbh
ynisthestandard FINALLY A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP FOR HER?! LIKE LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE LOOKS IN THE LAST PIC WITH THE FAN!
ynln has posted !
liked by mattrempe, seattlestorm, and others
ynln crumbs as of late
tagged paigebueckers aaliyahedwards_24 aubrey.griffen44 mattrempe
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uconnfan087 OMFG SHE HARD LAUNCHED WTH?!
mattrempe lauver girl💐
↳ ynln lova boi💖💖
lnupdates omfg they're so cute!!
paigebueckers baller and pucker??????
↳ ynln go to sleep p 💤
azzi35 cute❤️
chriskreider19 finally.
↳ ynln just be happy for me for once
↳ chriskreider19 never.👎🏼
ynlover69 not the hockey player💀
↳ lnupdates girl leave her alone & let her be happy!
↳ ynlover69 hockey players are known to be cheaters lmao
↳ ynlover69 she should've gotten back together with jacob
↳ lnupdates if she's happy just let her live
rempespuck we love a tall couple😭💖
uconnwbb baby is all grown up😢💙
aaliyahedwards_24 miss you pookie bear!
↳ ynln miss you too shawty bae😔
jacobtrouba 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
caitlinclark22 love this for you, y/n/n!❤️❤️❤️
ynln posted on her story !
#matt rempe#matt rempe imagine#matt rempe x reader#ig edit#x reader#nhl#new york rangers#nhl imagine#hockey#nhl blurb#lovinbarzal writings
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[part one] the perfect pair ➵ “ew, is that sunwoo over there? 저리 꺼져.”
esports player!kim sunwoo x esports player!reader
being a woman in the esports league is hard, but dealing with cocky kim sunwoo is unmatched. with the valorant champions tour about to commence, you two are forced to team up to retrieve the trophy. what will be tested—team morale or your patience around sunwoo?
chapter genre/warnings ➵ enemies to lovers, afab reader (they/them pronouns), slow burn, slight angst, crack, sexual tension, misogynistic & sexist remarks and behaviors, sunwoo is such an annoying teammate... retired ow player now val player…, rush gets introduced YIPPEE, sunwoo gets jealous...?, bets are made, a lot of gamer lingo (check the guide & visual aids!)
word count ➵ 10.5k words
parts ➵ check out the series masterlist
a/n ➵ it's out! felt a lil pressured by the number of notes i wont lie! i hope u guys enjoy this along with the visual aid <3 special shoutout to @shegotthewoobies @vernyangel @heemingyu @deobienthusiast for beta reading <3 much love to you all <3 esp to ki who made the usernames <3 if you enjoyed reading, do reblog and leave feedback!
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist
HYST wins VCT’s Game Changers By Bae Sumin
HYST takes the title as the winner of the Valorant Championship Tour (VCT) Game Changers in Los Angeles, USA against defending champion 88RR. The team took over the playing field, showcasing their astounding teamwork and tactful gameplays, and won 3-1 in a best-of-five series.
Since the first match on Bind, players Ailurus (Y/N) and bokku (Miyawaki Sakura) demonstrated their chemistry through their formidable performance as Omen and Yoru respectively. Their alliance was enough for their opponents to avoid one-on-one battles.
Rising player Ppiya (Hong Eunchae) secures her position as one of the most impressive duelists to come from this year’s VCT. In all of the matches played, Ppiya secures at least one kill per round, placing her 3rd in the leaderboards out of all players in the event.
In their second match on Ascent, remarkable sentinel players CHUU (Kim Jiwoo) and subakhye (Son Hyeju) built solid defense systems and dealt with flanks with ease. They can adjust their setups accordingly as they observe their opponents’ playstyle.
Although their exceptional performance in Game Changers makes its mark in VCT history, Ailurus only hopes that they are given more opportunities to engage in such tournaments. “I am happy [about our win], but I hope that the [VALORANT] esports scene sees us more than just winners [of Game Changers]. I want to be seen as a remarkable player regardless of gender,” they share.
Despite HYST participating in VCT for the past two years, this is their first championship win. In last year’s VCT, the organization met its defeat in VALORANT Challengers through their other roster consisting of players bae (Jacob Bae), nuguri (Kim Sunwoo), Darong (Lee Jaehyun), gyulz (Ju Haknyeon), and Maize (Lee Juyeon).
Both teams are under the guidance of Coach bori (Kim Younghoon), a retired VALORANT and League of Legends pro player.
These turn of events displayed HYST’s dedication to improvement and VALORANT. Many followers hope to see more of the reigning champions of Game Changers.
ROUND 1: “WELCOME TO MY WORLD!”
The moon radiates tonight, its white gleam accompanied by speckles amidst the sea of black. Now would be the perfect moment to take some time to yourself; get in more hours of sleep, or pick up a book you’ve been putting off. Instead…
“Hi, everyone! It’s been a while,” you greet your viewers through the webcam.
The monitor shines on you, colors of blue and violet painting your skin. On the wall behind you is a shelf filled with memorabilia; medals from small competitions along with trophies from bigger tournaments.
“I know it’s a little late here, but I was itching to play some matches.” Your eyes glide through your stream’s chat. Many viewers are ecstatic to have you back on Twitch while others question your late hours of streaming.
jseollie: even after game changers?? CRAZY! bboppull: GRIND NEVER STOPS 💪💪💪 bookeucutie: tell us abt vct!!!
A chuckle leaves you as you open up Valorant. “I really enjoyed my time in VCT! I met some of my favorite players like Lorri from Evil Genius, sonder from Shopify, even Version1’s MeL.”
You lean back on your chair as you recall the event. “I won’t lie, I was very nervous about going against 88RR, which, by the way, is a lovely team. We met up for drinks after.” You scratch the back of your neck as you try to go through what your chat says.
“I remember talking to Kura about it since the semifinals, and she had to give me a constant pep talk.” The memory of Sakura knocking sense into you after every match makes you laugh.
As you dish to your viewers about your experience throughout Game Changers, you read their comments. Many of your viewers were happy with your revelation of the teams' bonds with each other. “Yeah, we’re competitive but we’re here with the same dreams, so I think it did help us form some kind of connection. I was able to exchange contacts with Sunmi and Taeyeon as well. I told them that whenever they decide to come back to Korea, they should give me a call.”
ajiajibee: is the trophy with you? ghanadara: i think it’s beside the picture frame
“Oh, I don’t get to keep it. It’s back in the headquarters,” you say as you slightly swivel your chair to the side. “That picture frame, however,” you point at your shelf, “is my certificate. That way, we all have something to bring home.”
You adjust your chair before smiling at the camera. “Anyway, I’m really happy that our practice paid off. It was an honor to even participate and meet other players.”
Most of the reactions were positive ones; congratulations and desires to see your team play together for more events. Yet, regardless of your achievements, there’s constantly a handful of negative ones.
hwithefool: Cant believe you won game changers. Ur not even that good. hwithefool: didn’t even get to champs L honeycube: boosted ass universefactory deleted hwithefool’s message. universefactory deleted hwithefool’s message. universefactory deleted honeycube’s message. hwithefool is now banned from this chat. Reason: Being rude honeycube is now banned from this chat. Reason: Being rude
Thankfully, your moderators were there to take control of such—but you’ll always know what people think of you.
“Anyway, for today’s stream, I’ll be playing with Juhak and Hyeju!” You exclaim as you switch scenes, now showing the Valorant lobby. “We’re going to play on our alt accounts for today, so it should be fun.”
real_juhaknyeon: LFGGGGG goated team rubyvobo: we get nom, jeorge porkwell, AND hyejuseyo?? We win today sunwooluver: what about nuguri?? he’s solo queuing right now rubyvobo: OFHEJSHSJJSKS I LOVE YOU GUYS sunwooluver: WILL NUGURI JOIN??
One of the few perks that comes with being an established streamer is that you could ignore comments, pretending you never saw them, and you’d get away with it; people just didn’t need to talk about it all together and you’d be fine.
So when you invite Haknyeon and Hyeju to your party, you continue talking to your chat about today’s stream. “We’re not going to play ranked today, I think?” You hum for a moment, going through the agenda in your head. “Well, we might, but I have no clue. It depends on what they want.”
Before you can continue with your rambles, your phone vibrates on your desk. Once you grab it, you notice that text messages from Kim Younghoon, the coach of the organization, have come your way.
coach bbang 🍞: hi y/n! don’t forget to remind your teammates about tomorrow’s meeting for vct ☺️ coach bbang 🍞: and gl with your stream tonight! y/n: teewai coach :DD see u tomo
“Sorry about that!” You put your phone away and give your full attention to your monitor. Hyeju and Haknyeon already joined your party, and you spot that they’re in a voice channel on the HYST’s Discord server. “Before I go join VC with the others, I just wanted to say thank you for supporting me and the others in Game Changers. It was a fun but tough competition, and I wouldn’t be here without you guys.”
Although your job did start as a hobby, you continued to persevere through such hardships thanks to your support systems; your teammates and viewers alike. You only ever considered going pro thanks to two friends. Unfortunately, time has its way of making you drift apart from them; you hope you can go face-to-face against them one day if the universe willed for it.
“Anyway, let’s have some good games!”
“I tuned in to your stream last night, Y/N,” Eunchae starts. “That losing streak is insane.”
You sigh, shoulders down as you walk dejectedly. “Don’t even get me started. Our randos were ass and wouldn’t stop talking shit.” You look at your younger friend who only pouts as you recap the events of last night. “I know you would always enter and clear sites for us, my Manchae.”
With your arm wrapped around her shoulder, her expression shifts into a smile. “I mean, that’s the least I can do as your duelist.”
“Well, not everyone seems to know that.”
The HYST headquarters is a three-story infrastructure whose interior resembles corporate buildings; the furniture is mostly of sleek leather and dark-stained wood. Monotone linoleum tiles and off-white walls stretch throughout the building.
As soon as you both arrive in front of the meeting room, you swing the doors open, revealing Sakura, Hyeju, and Jiwoo who sit together on one side of the conference table. You and Eunchae rush to them, exchanging greetings and embraces.
“Do you always play Valorant?” Jiwoo directs the question to you, referencing your stream last night with Hyeju and Haknyeon, to which you roll your eyes.
“No, I just had the itch to play!” You take a seat in between Sakura and Jiwoo. “Plus, I’ll take any opportunity to make some money.”
The doors swing open. “Hi, everyone. It’s nice to see you all,” Younghoon greets your team before walking to the whiteboard situated in the corner of the room.
The organization’s general manager, Lee Sangyeon, trails behind him, a smile painting his face as he takes a seat at the end of the table. “I’ll say this again, but good work in Game Changers.”
“Thanks, Sangyeon,” Sakura expresses her gratitude on behalf of the team. “We wouldn’t have been able to win without your help along with Younghoon’s.”
He shakes his head, trying to play it off. “No, I’m just here to make sure you guys get to participate, you know? Just want to make sure that you guys get recognized.”
Silence settles. The squeaking from Younghoon's marker is faint but loud enough to capture your attention. Although his figure covers most of what’s written on the whiteboard, you catch sight of a few gamer tags—Ailurus and bae.
Before you can decipher the other words, the doors open. “Hi, guys!” Haknyeon enters the room with all smiles. “Hello Game Changers winners,” he bows his head, making you chuckle.
His teammates, Jacob and Juyeon, trail behind him, relaxed expressions resting on their faces. “Congrats on the win,” Jacob shakes hands with everyone on your team. “That one play on Ascent went crazy, by the way.” His praise is directed towards you, and you try to play it cool.
“Ah, it was nothing. Just got lucky.”
“If I was in your situation, I probably wouldn’t have secured that round,” Juyeon chimes in as he takes a seat beside his teammates. The three boys sit across from your team.
Haknyeon smacks Juyeon’s arm, laughing at his words. “Yeah! Remember that one round in Breeze?” Juyeon only rolls his eyes while his teammates recap the events for your team.
You don’t really interact with Haknyeon’s team (or Jacob’s team if you were going to follow formalities), just the occasional greetings and small talk if you were going to be honest. It’s not like you didn’t want to be friends with them; there aren't enough opportunities to bond when you all have different schedules, let alone priorities. But you did enjoy their team's presence, and every interaction with them is one you hope may bring your team closer to theirs.
Except for one player.
“Sorry, we’re late!” Hyunjae enters the room with an apologetic smile. “Someone decided to sleep in.”
“Not true! Hyunjae’s lying.”
The room starts to grow dimmer, almost as if life were sucked out of it. Only you seemed to see it, never the others. There he is—the only exception.
He’s dressed in an oversized graphic tee layered on top of a white long-sleeved shirt and a pair of black baggy jeans. His hair shows its soft curls, clearly indicating that he’s the one lying.
A playful pout rests on his lips as he tries to continue his defense. Yet, when he locks eyes with you, he holds back. A scowl now paints his face.
If you follow esports, then you would know who Kim Sunwoo is—an established pro player who switched from Overwatch to Valorant. At first, many people were confused by his choice, throwing away years invested into a different game. Yet, it seemed that he didn’t care about what others had to say as he signed with HYST a few months after he started playing Valorant.
Within that time frame, he was able to impress Younghoon and Sangyeon with his gameplay. After all, Valorant and Overwatch required different playstyles. It was easy for him to become big in the Valorant pro scene, as you would like to say, for he made use of his existing fame.
He’s adored by many people who follow the pro scene; audience and players alike. You, however, seemed to think differently.
You shift your gaze to Younghoon, silently hoping that the meeting will commence. As if he heard your thoughts, he says, “No worries. Go, take your seats.”
Unfortunately, Hyunjae opts to sit across from Eunchae, leaving one vacant seat across from you.
Sunwoo sits on the chair as a dejected sigh leaves him, causing you to roll your eyes while you keep your gaze away from him. All you need to do is get through the meeting and you won’t have to face him for a while.
“Thank you everyone for coming here today,” Younghoon starts as he faces all of you. The whiteboard behind him has now been flipped, and the gamer tags are now hidden. “Uh, before we get into the agenda for today’s meeting, let’s congratulate the winners of Game Changers!”
Applause erupts from everyone who didn’t participate in that competition, but your eyes don’t miss how slow the boy across you claps, almost as if he wasn’t impressed.
“Now, we can get to the point of today’s meeting.” Younghoon steps to the side, revealing the text written—VCT GAMEPLAN with irregular shapes surrounding it. “We all know that VCT is around the corner, a few months from now, which means we’ve got to start our preparations.”
“Normally, we would’ve gone straight to strategizing and having you guys,” your coach looks at the team across you, “practice, but Sangyeon and I have agreed on doing things differently this year.” He flips the board, revealing everyone’s gamer tags. “We’re changing the roster.”
Many players are caught off-guard by Younghoon’s announcement. It’s not usual for a roster change to take place, especially with only a few months left before qualifiers commence.
“We know that not everyone may want to participate in the upcoming VCT, and I’ve spent weeks trying to configure what’s the best roster to represent HYST.” Younghoon then pulls out a blue marker and starts to circle some names; CHUU, Darong, bae, nuguri, and… Ailurus? “These are my picks for VCT.”
A frown appears on your face, but before you can comment, Haknyeon beats you to it. “I don’t know if having Hyunjae and Sunwoo play together is smart.” All eyes are now on him. “I mean, no offense,” his eyes flicker to the two subjects, “I don’t know if Jiwoo and Y/N would be able to keep up, and that’s not a diss to them.”
“I agree,” Jacob chimes in. “Haknyeonie, Juyeon, and I can play with Sunwoo and Hyunjae as duelists because we know their playstyles well. We’ve played together for years. Y/N and Jiwoo would be playing with them for the first time.”
Younghoon bites the inside of his cheek, deep in thought as he considers what’s been said. “Thoughts?” He directs his question to the two people in question. The two players exchange glances, almost as if they were communicating.
“Yeah, I know Sunwoo and I can adjust our playstyle but it took more than half a year for Juyeon and Haknyeon to get used to our playstyle,” Hyunjae says as he scratches the back of his neck. “And if it helps, I’d prefer to sit this one out. You know, I have a lot of sponsorships lined up that I need to stream for also.”
Your coach sighs. “No worries. What about you, Sunwoo?”
“Wait, can I say something?” Jiwoo gathers the attention of everyone in the room. “I also want to opt out of VCT. I mean, I just played in Game Changers.” A guilty smile takes over her features.
Thankfully, Younghoon acknowledges where Jiwoo comes from. “Of course, I understand. After all, that’s why we're having this meeting.”
Before your coach can try to reconfigure the roster, Sangyeon stands up from his seat.
“Can I suggest another rotation?” Younghoon nods before handing him a red marker. Sangyeon starts to circle another list of gamer tags, ones he believes should be in the final line-up of players for VCT; it consists of bokku, bae, gyulz, Ppiya, and… Ailurus, again? Your coach frowns as he looks at the selection.
“I think Sunwoo should be benched.” Your eyebrows shoot up at Sangyeon’s words, not expecting those words considering the player’s reputation.“He’s made some rash plays recently, and you know that.” You glance at the boy who sits across from you only to see that his gaze is affixed to the ground.
Younghoon shakes his head, clearly in disbelief at the manager’s words. “Yes, but that’s only for a few matches. Trust me when I say that Sunwoo is strong as a duelist and an initiator.” His attempt to defend his mentee is weak against Sangyeon’s opinion.
“He plays for himself!”
Clearly, the two higher-ups have opposing views.
“Think about it; Eunchae and Sakura are great duelists, and anyone else on that team plays initiator.”
Although Sangyeon seems to believe his proposed line-up is the best one yet, your coach shakes his head. “Eunchae isn’t playing.” He glances at her before saying, “She told me beforehand.” All eyes are now on the teen who only shows an apologetic smile.
“Sorry, I wanted to take a break from this year’s VCT to focus on my studies.”
Sangyeon scratches the back of his neck. “Well—”
“Hey,” Sakura cuts into the conversation. “Haven’t we considered that Y/N and Sunwoo might not want to play together?” She looks at you two with scrunched eyebrows, clearly confused by your coach’s proposal. “I mean, we all know their relationship, no?”
Your feud isn’t under the table. All of the players know about your distaste towards each other but they don’t know where it stems from.
“Yes, but their playstyles complement each other.” Everyone’s confused as to why Younghoon is persistent. “Out of all my mentees, I’ve worked with them the most, and I know exactly how they can work together.”
“Well, I want Y/N on that team.” As your manager says that, all the attention is now on you. You’re not sure why Sangyeon would say that. Uncomfortable with how you’ve become the topic of the conversation, you cannot help but sink into your seat.
“And I agree with you. But if we’re going to have Y/N play, I need Sunwoo on that team.” You lock eyes with Sunwoo briefly as your coach says that. “He’s my one-pick, and I know he’ll help the team out the most.” Sangyeon sighs, rethinking the roster once more. You shift your gaze to the ground, clearly unhappy being paired with the player across from you.
You weren’t happy that the two continued to discuss the final roster without asking you, but before you could speak up, someone beat you to it.
“Shouldn’t Y/N take a break?” Your gaze lands on the boy across from you, eyebrows now furrowed over his suggestion. “I mean, they did just come from winning Game Changers. We can have Juyeon take over.” When you spot a small smirk resting on his lips, you ball your fists.
Whatever game Sunwoo is playing, you don’t want any part of it. If anything, whatever he’s trying to insinuate has you clenching your teeth. And you’re about to retort—
“No,” Sangyeon says, speaking on your behalf. “Y/N’s a good leader and a team player. I trust Y/N the most out of all the people on the roster.”
Sunwoo raises his hands in defense. “It was only a suggestion.” But when he glances at you, you don’t miss the sinister smile on his face.
Not only was Sunwoo trying to bench you out of the competition but Sangyeon and Younghoon were too invested in their conversation, speaking on your behalf as if you were nothing but a tool for the organization. Without a second thought, you stand up from your seat. Everyone’s eyes are on you as you storm out of the room.
That’s the thing about being a pro player in the esports scene; no one seems to listen to you if you aren’t a man.
For once, silence settles amongst everyone. Your departure is a message, one that everyone failed to see earlier on.
A sigh leaves Sakura. “I know we’re all worried about VCT but let’s not forget to hear everyone out, okay?” She glances at the doors that are now shut closed, wondering where you may have gone. “You know Y/N. Just avoid speaking on their behalf and let them talk for themselves.”
“Yeah,” Eunchae huffs, “let’s give them time to cool down. We only wrapped up Game Changers a few weeks ago.”
As Younghoon crosses his arms, a sigh leaves him as he looks down to the floor. “Sorry, Sangyeon and I were too caught up with what we wanted.” He glances at his watch before shifting his gaze to the players who sit idly. “Let’s talk about this again once they come back.”
In the eye of a hurricane stands you, a witness to the chaos, wondering what course of action nature shall take upon you. Somehow, your screams are soundless—not a single soul minds the hurricane for as long as it doesn’t hit them.
You stand in front of the washroom mirror, taking your time to recollect your thoughts. The stress that comes from the upcoming VCT, the pressure to represent HYST once more, the likelihood of working with Kim Sunwoo for the first time—there’s nothing you can control.
The stars point you towards acceptance, perseverance.
It’s not that you were against representing HYST for the upcoming VCT events. If anything, you were grateful that Sangyeon and Younghoon trusted you to undertake such an important role.
Although you’ve competed in Game Changers, the audience it attracts is smaller in comparison to the ones your manager and coach want to see you in. All eyes will be on you as you compete to reach to Champions.
The weight that comes with playing in a worldwide esports event, one that most of the community is tuned into, rests on your shoulders—a coalition of anxiety from every round that plays out, migraines from reconfiguring your strategies, the comments of you playing just because you aren’t a man. Those reasons should be enough for you to decline the offer, to protect your peace, and to make more out of your streams.
But nothing can compare to bringing back home the fruit of your labor—the Champions Cup—the recognition that comes from competing, and the bond built amongst teammates. If you got to experience all that from Game Changers, you’re almost certain that VCT will bring experiences to be marked in your books.
But what do you know, right?
With a mind clearer after today’s event, you exit the washroom, still deciding whether you should compete or not. Yet, it’s as if the universe has plans to provoke you as you come face-to-face with the last person you want to see.
His eyes lock with yours and a snarl appears on his face. “What? I had to use the washroom.” Defensive, like always.
Before you can make your way back to the conference room, he grabs your arm, holding you back. You glare at Sunwoo, your eyes glancing at his hand on your arm, and he lets go.
He bites the inside of his cheek. “I know we don’t like each other.” Tell me about it. “But,” he sucks in a breath as he stares back at you. “I know we want to prove ourselves, so why don’t we just suck it up and work together?”
Anyone could believe that Sunwoo’s trying to play nice with you—he’s willing to make amends in hopes that there’s no bad blood between you two—but you could care less about what this man has to say.
“It’s not that easy,” you start. “You don’t understand what I want.” Unlike him, you know that proving yourself does nothing.
His frowns over your words. “What do you mean—”
“Sunwoo, you can easily say you want to play to prove yourself,” you cut him off. “I can’t say the same for me. It’s a privilege enough that I can even play in these events.” You jab your index finger against his chest, making him stagger backward.
That’s what makes you and Sunwoo different; while he chases praises from a few lucky plays, you’re left to deal with the backlash from just breathing.
If Sunwoo wants to retort, you don’t give him the chance to do so as you walk away from him. As you reach the doors, you take a deep breath in before swinging them open. The chatter is interrupted by your presence as you make your way back to your seat.
Sunwoo follows shortly, keeping his gaze on you as he takes his seat. You would’ve ignored the way he looks at you but the eye contact you two exchange amplifies what you told him then in the halls. So when an ominous grin appears on your face, the lousy bridge he tried to build towards you crumbles. After all, it was constructed on a poor attempt to save his career.
“Count me in.”
ROUND 2: “YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE WAS THAT YOU PISSED ME OFF.”
With every day that passes, the weight of VCT rests heavier on your shoulders. Playing with a team you don’t compete with is not easy. Yet, you’re hopeful today—it’s all you have, after all.
As you enter the practice room, you are greeted by the chilly air that emits from the air conditioners. The practice room resembles an internet cafe; desks are lined up with monitors and keyboards while CPUs are placed under the tables.
You catch sight of Sakura and Haknyeon chatting away as they sit in front of their assigned computers. Jacob, however, is busy talking to Younghoon; you can only assume they’re talking about possible strategies.
Before you take a seat beside Haknyeon, you make sure to greet everyone. “And I couldn’t believe Juyeon just fell to the floor!” He exclaims which has Sakura laughing.
“What’d I miss?”
Haknyeon looks at you on the brink of tears before he retells the story. “Okay, because you know how Juyeon and I share a room?” You nod. “So, I told Juyeon to shut the lights off on his way to bed because I was ready to go to sleep. But somehow, he got lazy while walking so he had this genius idea to just jump to the bed.” At this point, your friend is laughing in between words, and the story has gone incomprehensible.
“And the next thing you know it, Haknyeon hears a sudden thump.”
You burst into laughter over the story. “You’re telling me he missed?!” The only answers you get are chortles from the two.
Preparations for VCT have fueled your anxiety for many reasons, possible losses and backlash to name a few, but Haknyeon and Sakura bring pockets of sunshine amidst the storm. If they weren’t here, you wouldn’t know how to deal with your worries.
“Sorry, I’m late!” Your mood shifts as your last teammate enters the room with an iced americano in his hand. You both lock eyes for a brief moment before you shift your gaze back to your friends, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“Okay, hurry! Everyone, start fixing your setups,” Younghoon orders as he claps his hands, grabbing everyone’s attention.
You chose your seat in hopes that Jacob would sit beside you, making it easier for you both to discuss possible team strategies. Yet, the other in-game leader sits somewhere else, leaving Sunwoo to take the spot next to you. Your bubbly mood has turned sour.
“Anyway, today we will be having a practice match! So, what to expect is that…”
Younghoon’s words fall flat on your ears as your heartbeat fills your ears. As you try to fix your monitor and audio settings to fit your preferences, you hope that the anxiety will die down. Yet, you feel a pair of eyes stare a hole right into you—annoyance now accompanies your anxiety.
“Can you mind your own business and listen to Coach?” You raise the question, only loud enough for your annoying teammate to hear.
“I am paying attention.”
You scoff, “Oh, so you’ll listen now?” You rip your gaze away from the computer to glare at Sunwoo. “You didn’t listen to me last time.”
A few days ago, your team decided to scrimmage against the other members of the organization. It was a good way to practice before signing up for scrimmages against other teams participating.
Unfortunately for you, it was a match that solidified your dislike of the player. With every round, he found ways to get on your nerves, ignoring your comms and playing for himself to name a few. If you were going to be honest, you expected a bit more from Sunwoo—Sangyeon is right about his stance on the player.
Sunwoo shrugs, glancing at your coach who continues to explain today’s practice match. “I don’t know, your strats weren’t making sense last time. I trust Jacob more.”
You clench your fists as you close your eyes briefly in disbelief. “So, if it’s a man speaking, you’ll listen?” You shake your head in disbelief as you return your attention to the computer. “Jacob and I had the same plan, asshole.”
If Sunwoo wanted to defend himself, he’s not allowed to do so as Younghoon calls on both of your names. “Hey, are you listening?” The two of you nod profusely in a poor attempt to hide your conversation. “Okay then. For today’s scrimmage, you’ll be going against RUSH.”
There’s no way, right? “Sorry, did you say RUSH?” You earn a nod from him, and your world tilts on its axis. After how many years, it only took one scrimmage for you to reunite with your reasons behind why you stand in the pro scene today—Jeon Jungkook and Eric Sohn.
The three of you first met each other in university in a club full of people who liked to play video games. At first, you weren’t sure why you joined in the first place, dreading the possibility of dealing with men who would throw misogynistic comments towards you. Yet, the universe found a way to make sure you would enjoy your stay, gifting you two boys who became your best friends from university.
“Today is the perfect time to get to know your opponents, get a feel of what they do. I know that you guys have started playing together, trying to get a feel of what it’s like to play together, but I hope this scrimmage will build on it,” Younghoon says as your team quickly logs into their accounts on Discord.
Once you’ve logged in, you notice that Younghoon has sent you an invite to a Discord server. You accept it, greeted by the huge selection of teams participating, and you catch sight of RUSH in a voice channel. All of their gamer tags are recognizable, but two of them have stuck with you since your university days.
“You can all jump on the voice channel with them. Don’t forget to introduce yourselves.”
You’re the first to hop on a call and your teammates follow you shortly. Usually, you were the type to have someone lead the conversation, but to say you were excited to talk to your old friends would be an understatement. “Hi, everyone.”
“Oh my god, is that Y/N?” Jungkook asks, surprised by the sound of a familiar voice.
“Y/N?!” Eric’s microphone crackles over how loud he exclaims your name, and a grin rests on your lips over the reactions.
There they are. “I know, it’s been forever. I haven’t talked to you both since we graduated.”
The next thing you know, their faces appear on the screen; they don’t look too different from when you last saw them, but they’ve grown up. “Is it actually you?!” Jungkook asks. “I won’t believe it until I see you.”
A chuckle leaves your lips over your old friend’s words. “God, I’ll turn my cam on.” You click on the video icon, revealing your poor attempt to hold back your grin. “Happy now?”
“It’s been so long, what the fuck? I miss you! Congrats on your win!” Eric says. “Everyone, why don’t we turn on our cams?” Both his teammates and yours have turned their cameras on. “Let’s introduce ourselves.”
The introductions are quick. You learned the real names of Jungkook and Eric’s teammates; Choi Soobin, Jeon Wonwoo, and Lee Jeno. RUSH’s roster is a good selection of players. Your palms get sweaty as you hear your heartbeat in your ears—nothing could’ve prepared you for today’s scrimmage.
Before you can all agree to start the match, Sunwoo pops a question. “Sorry, how do you guys know each other?” You watch his expression through Discord, eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
Jungkook chuckles before saying, “We went to uni together, met in this club which we all left after our first year.” All he gets is a hum from your teammate, but you don’t miss the way Sunwoo looks off into nowhere, almost as if he’s irritated—you wonder why his mood shifted. “Anyway, are we ready to have our match?” You all hum in agreement before turning your cameras off.
“Alright, good luck and have fun!”
The worst Valorant matches are the ones that reach overtime. It’s 12 to 13 on Icebox in RUSH’s favor, and your team is on the brink of losing—only one win is needed and your opponent will leave victorious.
“I think we should go through mid and then make our way through A-site.”
You shake your head in disapproval. “No, Jacob, I think we should enter a site together instead. It’s risky to pass through mid since,” you glance at the leaderboard to check how many credits Jungkook has, “I have a strong feeling someone will use an operator.”
Although Jacob seems to consider your suggestion, a groan leaves Sunwoo. “Wouldn’t it be better to split up?”
“No, we’re not strong enough to fight our own battles. We need to play together, fight together.” You would like to think that your team can handle isolated battles, but you guys were weak against RUSH. Perhaps they had good reflexes or better game sense.
As the timer starts to count down, Jacob orders, “Okay, we’ll go with Y/N’s plan. The most important thing is that we don’t pick fights on our own and plant the spike.”
The round commences, and you all make your way into your positions; Sakura and Jacob slowly make their way through A-main while you go up to the belt. Haknyeon carefully sets up his trip wires and camera before joining you.
“I’m going to dart first.” Once you get your recon bolt out, you shoot it far enough to land on the wall; it catches the presence of Soobin and Wonwoo. The toxic screen goes up, perfectly concealing the site.
“Go!”
It happens all too quickly, shots fired and damage dealt and received. Before you know it, your team is dead—except for one who didn’t seem to listen to your plans.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” you say as you spectate Sunwoo, watching that he’s making his way back to where you guys died, leaving mid. There are only two players that he needs to fight, Jungkook on Jett and Eric on Deadlock. You know the round is tense, and the last thing you want to do is aggravate him.
Thankfully, Sunwoo plants the spike, but he situates himself in a spot that wouldn’t allow him to reposition quickly. A pair of footsteps go up the stairs, signaling that someone is making their way to heaven.
For a moment, he keeps his gaze affixed to screens, but he looks back to A-main, expecting a flank, and he’s right; Eric comes into his vision.
You expect Sunwoo to win the fight, but when his body falls to the ground, a sigh leaves you. The mood has plummeted, sinking into murky waters of frustration, disappointment. “Fuck, sorry,” Sunwoo apologizes as he covers his mouth in frustration.
“It’s okay, you tried,” Jacob attempts to console his teammate. “Good work, everyone.”
The spike gets defused; HYST has lost against RUSH.
“Come on, let’s go hop on a call with them again.”
With that, your team follows Jacob’s orders. “Tight match everyone, but a fun one!” Wonwoo says.
“Yeah, thanks for the game,” Sakura responds, trying to stay in high spirits.
“Well, we have to get going. We have another scrimmage,” Eric starts. “Y/N, send me your number through DMs. Let’s hang with Jungkook.”
You hum, a small smile resting on your lips. “Sure, see you guys in Challengers.” With that, everyone leaves the voice channel.
While RUSH is probably celebrating their win, HYST is in low spirits. It’s a practice match, sure, but still a match nevertheless.
“Good work, everyone,” Younghoon says in an attempt to cheer everyone up. “I really liked the energy I saw from you guys. You all put up a good fight and fought together.”
Although everyone seems to hum in agreement with your coach, you don’t join in. “Why did you stray off?” You redirect your gaze to the boy beside you, only earning a frown. “Didn’t we agree to play together?”
He rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah, but—”
“But what, Sunwoo? What could’ve been the reason for you to not enter with us and not follow the game plan?” You’re frustrated over everything; the stress of VCT, your loss against RUSH, your teammate who never listens to you.
“Hey, knock it off!” Younghoon gets in between you two. “Now is not the time to be fighting.” You and Sunwoo only glare at each other. “Cannot believe I’m dealing with a bunch of 5-year-olds,” he mutters under his breath.
“Jacob and Sakura, nice work in holding B-site, by the way. Haknyeon, you also did well holding A-site.” Then, your coach glances between you two. “Now, we still need to work on your coordination and teamwork.” It’s a statement for your whole team, but it feels as if it were directed at you and Sunwoo. You wish you sat out of VCT.
“You can go now.”
With that, everyone gets ready to exit the practice room. Your coach is the first one out. You think you’re at fault for causing stress on him but if only Sunwoo would work with you—listen, for the matter—then maybe you two wouldn’t be in this mishap.
“Hey, you two.” You look at Jacob who calls on you and Sunwoo. “Can you stay behind for a bit?” You glance at Haknyeon and Sakura who observe the interaction briefly. As you both nod, your other teammates have taken their leave.
Now, you stand in front of him with your teammate beside you. A sigh leaves him as he rubs his jaw while a frown rests on his face. You only see Jacob like this when he’s focused on his games, but never when it comes to dealing with issues like what your team (or you and Sunwoo, really) has.
“I know you two don’t like each other, and I still don’t know why.” You and Sunwoo exchange glances before ignoring each other once more. “But you understand that you both signed up for VCT, right? That means you will be playing many matches together.”
You’re aware that agreeing to represent HYST means having to work with Sunwoo. Your reasons for participating are enough to convince you that you handle all the upcoming matches with Sunwoo—all adversities will be dealt with. Yet, you couldn’t speak for your teammate.
“So, I’m asking that you guys focus on working together. I’m not asking you to make up or anything but to still be professional around each other. We still have to win the qualifiers, so no funny business, okay?”
Jacob was right. Your dispute is getting in the way of team dynamics, holding HYST back, and you didn’t want to inconvenience your team any further. With that, you nod, begrudgingly accepting Jacob’s request. You can spot Sunwoo nodding along with you in the corner of your eye.
“Okay, thanks. You can both go now.”
When you and Sunwoo leave the practice room, not a single word is exchanged.
ROUND 3: “DON’T LOOK SO SMUG, SUNWOO!”
Over the last months, you and your team have spent every waking hour on Valorant—practice, practice, practice, until you all felt satisfied.
To say you were sick of the game is an understatement, but some of your teammates try to make every minute enjoyable; Haknyeon would goof off some rounds and knife opponents from behind, Jacob would make comments that you never would’ve imagined leaving his mouth, and Sakura would ask questions about everyone before every round. You take your part in lifting the spirits and making these matches less monotonous by reading stories from the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit.
As for your relationship with Sunwoo, you’ve tried to keep it professional. During matches and strategizing phases, you would communicate with each other, exchanging ideas of how to win these games. Outside of those periods, however, were spent ignoring each other’s existence.
Thankfully, all those months of practicing didn’t go to waste—your team went against multiple organizations during Qualifiers, and now you’re on the last leg of the event. Only one more win is needed and your team makes it to Challengers.
Now, your team is in the practice room, head-to-head against another team. It’s 11 to 12 in your team’s favor on Ascent. It’s absurd that your opponents made a comeback from 3-9, but you’ll blame it on the superstition.
“Let’s play default. Their team tends to push out anyway,” Jacob orders before he takes a sip of water. “I’ll play by tiles while Sakura and Haknyeonie can go to A-site. Sunwoo and Y/N, play near B-site. Just make sure to not get caught by their Sova’s recon dart.” Everyone on your team agrees with Jacob’s plan.
The round commences. Just like what Jacob called out, a recon dart is thrown, but it doesn’t catch sight of you and Sunwoo. “Sova’s by B-site,” Sunwoo tells the team.
“I hear footsteps by tree,” Sakura starts, and Jacob takes it as his sign to smoke the cubby off. Before you know it, he takes a peek at mid and kills off the enemy team’s Gekko. Sakura flashes A-site before double-swinging with Haknyeon. “There are three players by A-site! Go to B-site!”
You and Sunwoo start to make your way through B-site. You walk in front of him, trying to smoke off hall and market. It should’ve occurred to you how weird it is that Sunwoo trails behind you, but it doesn’t, and you choose to enter the site.
The next thing you know, your body flops to the ground, and you let out a groan. As you spectate Sunwoo, he successfully trades you. “Spike down B,” the announcer voices out. Now, it’s a three versus one battle.
“Astra’s with me! Go plant,” Haknyeon calls out, and Sunwoo listens. He plants the spike like a breeze and situates himself in the boathouse.
Jacob tucks himself by mid, waiting for Astra to pass through spawn. “I can catch Astra off-guard while you try to pinch them,” he tells Haknyeon. Within a few seconds, he successfully lands his shots and kills Astra, securing HYST a win—your team will be participating in Challengers.
Everyone cheers, getting off their seats and huddling into a group hug. “Holy shit, Jacob! That was such a good 3K!” Haknyeon cheers as he’s overfilled with joy.
Your teammate tries to shrug off the compliments. “We all did good.”
A pair of arms wrap around you and Jacob. “That was an amazing play!” Younghoon is thrilled by today’s matches. “WE’RE GOING TO CHALLENGERS!”
It’s a dream come true; you’ll be competing on stage in front of a wider audience against teams who are more capable than you—who have more experience than you—but the journey has only started. You wonder what the upcoming months will have in store for you and your team—what will time do for you and Sunwoo?
You’re the first to break up from the hug, everyone else following along. “I’m going to call Sangyeon over,” your coach announces before making his way out of the practice room.
Then, Haknyeon pulls out his phone. “Wait, the guys are blowing up our group chat. I’ll just call them.”
Sunwoo is about to follow his teammates, but you grab hold of his forearm as you hold him back, and he frowns at you. “I need to talk to Sunwoo,” you smile at the other guys who only glance at each other, confused by your actions. Yet, they let the matter go, letting you deal with your business with him.
Sakura grabs your shoulder. “I’m going to call the team. Anything you want me to tell them?”
“I’ll tell them myself, it’s okay. You can go.”
With that, it was only you and your teammate.
You let go of his arm and a frown replaces the grin you once showed. “What was that during the last round?” As Sunwoo scrunches his eyebrows further, you groan. “You literally baited me.”
An exasperated sigh leaves him. “God, it’s not that serious.”
“Sunwoo, you’re playing duelist. You’re supposed to be entering sites for the team.”
“And I do!” He glares at you, annoyed by your complaints. “We still won. Can’t you just be happy that we made it to Challengers?”
That’s the thing you hate about playing with Sunwoo; if the outcome is good, he’ll turn a blind eye to his mistakes. How does he improve as a player if he doesn’t acknowledge his faults?
He’s about to turn away from you—make his way to his teammates and celebrate today’s win—but you grab his hand and pull him close to you. The sudden action almost has him toppling over you, and thankfully, his reflexes are quick enough to make sure you both don’t fall.
But the distance between you two is smaller, his eyes wide while yours remain stern. He holds his breath while yours grazes his skin.
You’ve never seen him this way—compliant, obedient—and it’s a sight to behold, one you’d like to keep for yourself. If only he were like this to you, then maybe you wouldn’t—no, snap out of it.
“Sunwoo.” He gulps at the way you call his name. “I’m your controller, I’m supposed to stay alive longer to support you.” You hold his gaze. “Try to keep this behavior up during the rest of VCT, I dare you.”
There’s malice laced in your tone, an attempt to make him cower—obey—over your threat, and you know your job is successful when Sunwoo doesn’t try to retort. He has every opportunity to retort—rile you up like all other times—and yet, he remains silent.
With that, you let go of his hand, stepping away to give you both room to breathe. Patches of warmth litter all over your skin, from your neck to your chest. To have Sunwoo look at you like that has—
“Guys!” Younghoon comes back rushing into the room with Sangyeon trailing behind him. You catch sight of the smile that rests on your manager’s face, clearly proud of your team. “Let’s look at the list of the teams who made it to Challengers.”
Your coach fiddles with the television remote and opens up the stream. Just in time, you’re able to look through the teams who made it to the next event. As you spot HYST in a sea of esteemed teams, fulfillment bubbles within you.
Yet, you know the battle doesn’t end here. RUSH makes the cut—will your team remain victorious or will it meet its demise?
ROUND 4: “YOU’RE HERE TO TAKE MY KILLS, SUNWOO? LET’S MAKE IT A COMPETITION.”
You were lying when you said you were sick of Valorant. There were other games you could be playing, Minecraft, Overwatch, and Stardew Valley to name a few. Yet, here you are, playing your favorite (read: most hated) game for today’s stream.
“I won’t lie, I’m not sure why I’m playing this game on stream,” you chuckle. “Like, I could be playing something else to save my mental health.” The comments keep coming as you ramble, trying to kill time.
keybladetwo: CONGRATS IN PLAYOFFS!!! GOODLUCK IN CHALLENGERS orangecheeko: HYST TAKEOVER 🔥🔥🔥 hungrydinosaur: the 3k bae did last round was INSANE
A flood of compliments comes your way, making you smile. “Awe. Thanks, everyone! I still can’t believe I’ll be playing for Challengers, and then there’ll be Masters and Champions.”
reingoaway: how was it like playing with the others :O noxturnal: U and Jacob on the same team must be crazy! Aren’t u both IGLs
A hum leaves you as you think over your answers. “It’s fun for the most part,” you admit. “I mean, it took us a while to get used to each other’s playstyles, but I’d like to think that the practice paid off.”
You fiddle around with your Valorant collection, changing skins on some firearms. “I’d like to think Jacob and I do pretty well in strategizing in the middle of matches. Sure, we have our fair share of contrasting opinions but we always consider each other’s ideas.”
Although the time you spend practicing with your team can be tiresome, your teammates try to make every round enjoyable. It’s thanks to them that you’re able to deal with the weight of VCT for the most part. There is burnout that comes from playing the same game at a pro level—at least you have most of your teammates to thank for the most part.
tagmeup: Will you play with nuguri? ailguriluver: YEAA u guys go crazy together ashfallen: nuguri & ailurus stream 🙏
You would’ve ignored it as you used to with all other streams, but your chat seems to flood the same question; there’s no escape even in the safety of your own channel. “Uh,” you scratch the back of your neck, “I didn’t really plan to stream with nuguri.”
nugunuguwho: He’s on stream right now!
“He is?” You bite the inside of your cheek as you type out his username on Twitch. His profile shows up, showing that he’s live, and you adjust your stream so that it shows your browser. Now, your audience can see that you’ve searched him up.
Once you click his stream, you are greeted with the words “DEFEAT” flashing on the screen. “Aish, fuck this game!” On the top left corner of the screen is your teammate, all dressed in a gray hoodie with hair messier than usual, and frames resting on the bridge of his nose. He leans back on his chair, tonguing the inside of his cheek out of frustration from losing a match.
The screen shifts to the match summary, showing that he’s currently 00RR in Ascendant 3. “Man, you would think that people in these ranks would at least understand to comm!” He then showcases his match history and—holy shit, it’s a red carpet. “Guys, it’s not looking good.”
You hide your smile behind the back of your hand. Although you make comments about how terrible of a player Sunwoo is, you would’ve never imagined him to be on such a horrendous losing streak.
(At the same time, it could be the fault of his teammates, but you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction. He’s an awful player, point blank.)
“Ailurus is on my stream?” You are snapped out of your thoughts as he mentions your gamer tag. “How do you know?” He scrunches his eyebrows as he reads the chat. “They’re streaming?”
You rush to close the window and frown at the camera. “I can’t believe you guys sold me out!” As you shake your head, you shift your stream back to the game. “I was trying to spy on him! Anyway, I’m going to queue up because I cannot have Sunwoo ruining my win streak.”
You’re about to queue into a game, hoping to end the discussion, but your eyes catch sight of a familiar name and you halt your movements.
nuguri: r u down to play?
It’s an internal battle—should you pretend you didn’t see Sunwoo’s message or should you fake your relationship with him?
Time ticks. The more you contemplate, the more you realize that you can’t play off that you saw his message in a sea of unfamiliar usernames. You’ve dug up your hole—there’s no turning back now.
“Okay, add my alt account.” Not a single mention of his name, and yet, your audience knows exactly who you’re talking to. The chat is filled with messages of excitement.
A friend request has been sent to you. “Is “sawako’s bf” your fucking alt?” Your gaze shifts to the chat, waiting for a message from Sunwoo.
nuguri: check discord
You roll your eyes before accepting his request on Valorant before opening up Discord. Another friend request has come in, and—is that a Smiski as his display picture? Your mouth parts open as you accept his request. Before you can shoot him a message, he calls you, and you don’t think twice before picking it up.
“I didn’t know you liked Smiskis,” you admit, surprised by the sight of the figurine. The sight of your profile picture, a Smiski from a different series, beside his photo is humorous—who would’ve thought that you two would match? “I didn’t even know you had another Discord account.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
You shrug. “I mean, you just don’t look like the type you know? You reek of “loser e-boy that can’t do shit” energy.” As you hear him gasp, you chuckle.
Perhaps it helped to interact with Sunwoo in front of an audience. You can say diss him if you wanted, boiling it down to banter, and no one would question it.
“First off, I have a Discord account for work and another one for just personal use. And second, I am not a fuckass e-boy.” His defensive energy has you rolling your eyes. “Hey, I see you rolling your eyes!”
“The fuck? Get out of my stream,” you say as you glance at the camera. As you go back to Valorant, you see that you’re invited to Sunwoo’s party. Once you accept the invite, Sunwoo queues you both up for a Ranked match. “If we lose, I’m blaming it on you.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault that I lost all my matches today.”
You bite on the inside of your cheek, holding back your laughter just in case he’s still watching your stream. “Okay, whatever you say. I know you only peaked Immortal 1.”
“Immortal 1 is a good rank! What are you trying to say?” A chuckle leaves him as he says those words, clearly knowing that he’s unfortunately not like you who is currently ranked at Immortal 2.
“I think you just want me to boost you.”
“Match found,” the announcer voices out. You are greeted by the opening screen of Sunset.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m down on my luck that I need someone to boost me.” Sarcasm is evident in his tone, and you can’t help but laugh. The screen then shifts to agent select. “What’s good, everyone?” A bad attempt at deep voice leaves Sunwoo as he talks to a team full of strangers.
You’re thrown back by the sudden tone shift, causing a giggle to leave you. “What the fuck was that?!”
“Go! Talk to the team.” You shake your head as if he can see you. (Maybe he’s still watching you, after all.) He hovers over Reyna before telling you, “It won’t hurt.”
The thing about you is that you would never talk to a team full of strangers, but you don’t think twice when you say, “I’m good,” before hovering over Omen.
“There we go!” He exclaims in your call. You try to hold back your grin.
Unfortunately, the moment doesn’t last long. “Didn’t you mean to hover over Sage?” A stranger on your team asks.
You frown. “What do you mean?”
“Because you’re a woman.”
You should’ve seen this coming—there’s a reason why you don’t like to speak in this game.
“Just because I’m born a woman doesn’t mean I need to play that agent. I can play Skye if we need a healer,” you suggest, trying to keep your cool over what the stranger says.
“Nah, Skye might be too complex for you.”
You’re thinking if you should just lock in on Omen or retort, but both choices lead to an outcome where they’ll constantly be on your ass. Before you can make a decision, however, someone speaks.
“Hey, let them play whoever they want to play. You can play Sage if you really want,” Sunwoo cuts into the conversation, hoping to diffuse the situation. But when a chuckle leaves the stranger, you know it’s far from reaching that.
“Ah, I see how it is. How’s the head?”
You’ve officially reached your limit, and it seems Sunwoo has reached his as well. “This shit isn’t worth it,” Sunwoo ends the conversation with that. Before you know it, you’re back in the lobby, alone. “Sorry, I quit the game. Just give me a second to boot it up.”
As you hear those words, warmth surges within you. You don’t like your teammate at all and he’s never given you any reason to treat him with kindness, but just this one action is enough to make you see him in a different light—is he rotten to the core or have you been blinded this whole time?
Before you know it, he requests to join your party, and you accept the invite. When your eyes catch sight that he’s deranked to Ascendant 2, it hits you that he lost some RR just to avoid playing with the player who was giving you a hard time.
(Would it be bad to hope he did it for you?)
You hop in the queue to find another match.
It’s quiet for a moment; the mood has been ruined by some stranger on Valorant. Yet, Sunwoo seems to have something under his sleeve, a way to lift your spirit. “What if we pick each other’s agents?”
“This is a ranked match. You know that, right?”
Sunwoo lets out a groan. “I know that! But think about how fun it would be! We can play each other’s mains!”
“Do you really want to play Omen or Sova?” The screen then shows you’ll be playing on Pearl. “I thought you wanted to win some games.”
“Hey, I can definitely play those agents!” You roll your eyes over his words, clearly not believing him. “Let’s make it a competition. Whoever gets placed on top of the leaderboard wins, but you play Raze while I play Omen.”
A hum leaves you as you contemplate his proposal. “What’s the prize?”
“Well,” Sunwoo pauses, thinking over what can be done. “What if the winner gets their wish granted by the loser?”
“A wish? What type of wish?”
“Well, that’s for us to determine in our own time.”
You should’ve said no—why would you agree to such a bet with the one guy you can’t stand being in a room with? But the problem is that your pride is on the line, and you wanted to prove to Sunwoo that you could do his job better as a duelist.
So, you don’t think twice when you say, “Ah, fuck it. Let’s do it.”
You should’ve played Raze earlier on in your esports career. The match passes you like a breeze, entering and clearing sites and shots landing on your opponents every round. You don’t remember having this much fun playing Raze for the first time.
But somehow, the universe didn’t listen to your wishes—Sunwoo sits on the top of the leaderboard while you’re under him.
“Fuck! I only needed one assist and I would’ve beaten you.” As you complain, your teammate laughs.
“Ah, I wonder what I should have you do for me.”
You roll your eyes before looking at the time. “God, it’s that late already? I think I’m gonna end the stream already.”
“Yeah, me too. I’ll be back.” Before you know it, he deafens himself on Discord.
A sigh leaves you before you briefly look through the chat. “Sorry guys, I’m gonna end it early. I still need to pack my suitcase for Challengers next week.” There’s a mix of comments, ones that beg you to stay while others that thank you for today’s stream. “I’ll try to stream again before I leave but no promises. Bye, everyone! Hope you enjoy the rest of your days!”
With that, you end the stream. Another good stream out of you despite how short it was.
The most surprising thing to come out of this stream is that you were enjoying your time with Sunwoo. Whether it may be from the later hours of the day or just a front that he was putting up for the audience, you didn’t want to think too much of it. You’ll accept it for what it is now.
As you quit out of some of your applications, you look back at Discord to see that he’s back.
For a moment, it’s quiet. There’s an internal struggle within you—should you thank him for what he said earlier or not?
You didn’t want to call attention to the issue anymore. Unfortunately, you’ve had your fair share of experiences with misogyny throughout your life, and it pained you to say that this wasn’t the worst thing you’ve heard.
But he beats you to it, almost as if he was bothered by the silence, and says, “I’ll think about the wish for a bit, just want to think of my options.”
A groan rips out of you. “Don’t make me do anything stupid, please.”
He hums for a moment, almost as if he was considering your request, but you know who he is. “No guarantee! I’ll see you soon.”
Before you can retort, he ends the call. You stare blankly at your screen. If you thought Sunwoo was okay, you were absolutely wrong. He’s still a shithead.
But when you get in bed, you stare at the ceiling for a moment, and you can’t wipe off the grin that rests on your lips.
God, you need to sleep.
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🙏thank you once again for feeding my Leah obsession, if I could tip I would
Could we get a Leah x reader where r is Bella’s sister, completely different from each other considering r favored the shifters over the Cullens (cause of Leah). Any angst / drama / fluff could be up to you
Leah is Bae. Thank you for being a fan I love you
In this story: New moon and eclipse era. You are older than Bella. Leah and Seth have already shifted in new moon. You are already with Leah and know everything.
You grab your jacket off of the couch as Bella, your younger sister, takes your wrist and drags you to the front door. "Come on! Y/n, you have to trust me." She says.
You're so confused but also concerned, considering you know this is a mental breakdown from Edward's absence. "Bella, he's gone!" You try to get your wrist out of her grip.
"You have to see this." She ends up dragging you into her truck. You're not sure what to expect. You're not sure what is happening. All you know is, this is some Hugh school drama and your sister is taking it too far.
She drives out toward La Push.
"Bella, can you just accept what is happening? Okay! He is gone. Fucking, thankfully! He's not coming back. You can't love a vampire! Where are we going?!" You have your hand on the dashboard as she speeds down the reservation. You're trying to reason with her.
"We are going to the cliff. Please, just trust me." She smiles.
"Bella, we can't jump that! We aren't wolves! You're going to die!"
She keeps speeding down the road. All you can do is keep her from jumping the cliff.
You both make it there and climb through the woods to get to the top of the cliff. You look down and see waves crashing, and the wind is going through your hair. You quickly turn to Bella, who is mumbling to herself.
"What are you doing?" You ask, panicked.
She continues to stare off. You take this time to sneak a text, Leah. She begins to take off her jacket and bracelets. This scares you, making you drop your phone on the ground. She's still mumbling, and then she moves closer to the cliff.
"Bella!" You grab her waist and try to pull her back. Her small body weight was still too heavy for your weak self. You fall with her.
"Y/n? Babe?" You open your eyes and see a soaked Leah hovering over you.
You're so cold, and your ribs hurt. You cough and lift your head to turn over to see Bella coughing up water with Jacob hovering over her. You sigh and then lay your head back down, looking up at the beautiful woman above you. Leah's lips turn into a soft smile as she tucks your hair behind your ear.
"Y/n, I'm sorry." Bella croaks.
Leah's head turns, and she growls at her. "Bella, I have been kind to you. You have officially done it."
You don't even try to stop her. You don't want her to. Bella is so selfish, and you are so different. You're more upbeat, social, and you're too kind.
You groan and sit up, rubbing your neck. "Leah, can we go to your house?" You ask.
Leah lifts you up and carries you to her house and takes you into her bedroom. Your back is greeted by the soft bed.
"I'm wet." You sit up and look at Leah as she walks to her dresser.
"I know, baby." She takes out some clothes and then turns to face you. "Want to take a bath?" She touches your cheek.
You smile and nod, closing your eyes. "Join me?"
"I sure will." She presses her lips to yours.
You kiss her back and then stand up, not breaking away. She tucks the shirt under her arm and grabs onto your waist. You finally pull away because of the wet clothes.
"I'm uncomfortable in these wet jeans." You giggle.
She peppers kisses all over your face. "Let's fix that."
----
"What do I wear?" Bella asks from your bedroom door.
You turn from facing your mirror and look at her. "It's a bonfire." You chuckle and shake your head. You're wearing the most casual outfit, and you observe it in the mirror.
You're lowkey pissed about how Bella is during this whole battle. Of course, she's the reason for this shit. Now, your girlfriend is involved. She's so leading Jake on, making him think he has any chance. It's ridiculous! It's mean. Plus, Edward's ugly. But you try to tell Jake to leave it alone because he hasn't imprinted on her.
"Well, I'm also an outsider. I don't feel... the most comfortable." She shifts her feet.
"Then don't go." You shrug and grab your keys and phone from the bed.
"I'm going! I'll just throw something on." She huffs.
In the car on the way there, you're playing your music. You don't have it up too loud because Bella hates music. Weirdo.
"Does Leah still hate me?" Bella finally speaks.
"Yes. Rightfully so." You reply.
"I don't care. I love Edward." Bella shakes her head.
"Then why ask? It's not about your cold boyfriend anymore. It's everything else."
She doesn't reply. You just keep driving.
--- a few hours later---
All night, Leah was teasing you, putting her hands all over you and whispering things in your ear. She's really pushing your limit, making it too hard to hold back from taking her.
Thankfully, Jacob left with Bella. Leah is driving your car to her house. Her hand is on your thigh, her thumb rubbing over your pants. You get enough and lean over, attacking her neck with bites and kisses.
She hisses in pleasure and makes a few noises. "Baby, I'm driving. Just a minute." She chuckles.
Your hand grabs onto hers that's on your thigh. You slowly move her hand up to where you want her most.
She makes a sharp turn into the woods and you realize that she's about to fuck you in your car in the woods. That's a first.
----
You're sitting in the living room with your dad and Alice. Alice is telling Charlie that her and Bella are having a sleepover. You know the truth. Alice keeps side eyeing you. You have your arms crossed and aren't making any rude faces or anything. You know you're just a human. She could hurt you so easily.
"Y/n? Do you want to come with us?" Alice asks with a smile. You realize she's doing this on purpose to fuck with Leah, even fucking though the wolves and vamps are helping each other at the moment.
"Uh, no I'm good!" You smile and wave off, kindly.
"Come on! It'll be fun! You and your sister need more time together. She's about to go off to college, you know." Your dad softly nudges you.
"Nah." You giggle.
He nods his head and looks at Alice. "She's too old for sleepovers now." He laughs.
She laughs loudly and looks at you. Okay, you get it, she's old.
---- after the whole battle ---
"Would you want a wedding?" You run your fingers over her arm that's over your naked body. Her bed beneath you both, and some music playing.
She lifts her face up from your neck. "Yeah, I do want a wedding."
You smile and study her eyes that you can barely see from the shine of the moon in her window.
"Is it because of Bella?" Leah asks.
"I don't care about them. I don't even want to go to their wedding. I want you and me. Us." You roll over so you're on top of her body. Your head rests on her collarbone.
"I love you, y/n. I always have and always will." She runs her fingers through your hair.
"I love you, too, Leah. I expect to be a clearwater when I wake up." You laugh.
She laughs as well and gently slaps your ass. "You got it."
#twilight#embry call#jacob black#jared cameron#paul lahote#sam uley#seth clearwater#twilight wolfpack#leah clearwater#quil ateara#leah clearwater x reader
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BLAH BLAH
PAIRING jacob bae x f!reader
WORD COUNT 2.17k
GENRES fluff ﹒suggestive
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DNI yk all that jazz, mature language, younghoon being stupid, one bed trope 🙀, jacob is shirtless….. that deserves its own warning tbh, reader also is topless at one point but not for the same reason, reader is down bad for cobie, dry humping ig idk if it really counts but i’m including it anyway, this is kinda tame tbh but,,, the tension is there i swear!!
SUMMARY you swore you would never make any physical contact with jacob bae ever again to protect your heart. what the hell are you supposed to do now that you’re sharing a room?
MORE HELLO!!! she is finished 😼 finished her up in a day im impressed with myself ANNSNW ANYWAYS this is a request from my 100 followers event! thank u again moni (@zzoguri) bae i hope u enjoy this 🫶🫶 prompts used are: 10, 12, 13 <3
PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs
You know, you weren’t entirely expecting yourself to fall for Jacob Bae.
To be fair, it was very hard not to. From his infectious smile, to his genuineness, he was honestly the complete package. Even before you became friends, it was difficult to not fawn over the guy. You would see him across campus every now and then, laughing along with his friends or something of that nature, and you always felt a tiny ping in your heart.
Then came Eric Sohn and Kim Sunwoo’s annual back to school pool party.
Naturally, parties were the bane of your existence. You could never fully enjoy yourself, what with the clusters of people in one house and the strong scents of both alcohol and weed. However, one of your gal pals managed to convince you to tag along just to say you’d been to one of the infamous parties.
That was your first mistake.
Two hours into your eventual demise, you found yourself swishing around the contents of your red solo cup on the backyard patio, your friends having long disappeared. You were bored out of your mind with no one to talk to and now a near empty drink. A creak of the wooden boards behind you had you spinning around so fast you almost got whiplash.
Jacob Bae gives you a smile, stifling a laugh when you almost spill the last couple sips of your beverage. He sits himself beside you, sighing in either content or relief— to this day you’re still not sure.
“Hi, I’m Jacob,” he extends a hand towards you. “I saw you sitting out here and thought I’d introduce myself.”
Just like they say in the movies, the moment your skin comes into contact with his, there’s sparks. It’s like a jolt of electricity is running along your arm through your nervous system, shocking your brain. From that moment on, you made it a personal mission to never touch him again, out of fear it would happen every single time and you might do something extremely stupid.
Now here you are, ten months later and still just as whipped as you were day one.
Your friends dragged you on a little road-trip just to get away for a bit at the start of the summer. You were nervous thanks to the fact that a wheel spinner decided roommates and you got stuck with Jacob. If anyone asked, you’d say you were pretty good at pretending like you weren’t hopelessly in love with your friend. You looked at him normally, rather than with the want to rip his clothes off and go at it like bunnies.
“Jacob and Y/N sitting in a tree K-I-S-S— ow!” Younghoon rubs his arm where you’d just smacked him, pouting at you. “That hurt, what the fuck?”
“That was the point, bozo.” You roll your eyes, watching Jacob swimming around in the hotel pool. You hug your knees to your chest, resting your chin on top of them. How could someone make something so simple look so attractive?
Tonight would be a true test of faith, the ultimate challenge of whether or not you could truly resist Jacob Bae’s charms. Even if you’d stayed in the same house or same general vicinity, you always managed to dodge sharing a room. There were the few occasions you slept over at his and Sangyeon’s shared apartment, along with everyone else in your friend group. They’d both offered up their rooms for whoever wanted to bunk with them for the night since there wasn’t much room on the couches. You always picked the couch.
But there were no separate rooms keeping you apart this time. There was no couch. Just two beds and a couple feet between them. Oh God. You would be changing in the same room. Jacob Bae would be naked within your reach.
You blink away the thoughts creeping up from the back of your mind. You couldn’t have that mindset sharing a room with him. Couldn’t that be classified as immoral? Disrespectful? Your brain had to stay pure or you might not survive this trip at all.
“Why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?” Younghoon asks with an amused lilt to his voice. You give him a nasty side eye in return.
“I might as well have. I hope I keel over and die right now so I can join them.” You huff, your head bobbing up and down as you talk thanks to your knees under your chin.
Younghoon snorts, standing to shake his hair like a dog would after a bath. “You’ll be fine, dude. It’s not that serious honestly. Just think of this as, um, a team bonding exercise.”
“You’re a fucking clown.”
After about another hour of swimming, playing chicken, and other pool activities of that sort, the boys decide to call it a night. Thankfully so, because you had a long day of sightseeing ahead of you tomorrow. You gather your things and part ways for your respective rooms. Some were on different floors than others; you and Jacob’s for example was on the top floor. You don’t know why, but the guys were insistent on swimming first, prior to checking out your rooms.
You waddle behind him like a lost puppy, following him to the elevator. The whole ride up is silent save for the soft lo-fi beat playing over the speakers. Jacob is still very shirtless, a towel tossed over his shoulder haphazardly. What was its purpose? Couldn’t tell you since there were still droplets of water decorating his back.
Good Lord, you needed to stop staring at him, lest you wanted to go into cardiac arrest.
Your feet padding against the carpeted flooring of the hallway is the only thing you can hear all the way to your room. You even watch sheepishly as he pulls out the keycard and holds it to the sensor. It quickly flashes green and he pushes open the door.
You’re too preoccupied gawking at his back muscles again to notice he’s stopped in his tracks, causing you to bump into him. He laughs that melodic laugh of his before turning around to steady you. You give him a weak smile in apology.
And then you see why he paused so abruptly.
“Oh no, there’s only one bed, what will we do now?”
You sputter at how nonchalant he is about the situation. You glance back and forth from him to the bed and repeat, sweat forming on your palms. It was already going to be hard enough just sleeping in the same room, now you had to sleep in the same bed? You wouldn’t be surprised if you were found dead tomorrow morning.
“W-We can talk to someone at the front desk? Maybe we can get things sorted out and get a room with two beds instead?” You avoid eye contact.
“It’s too late for that. Besides, we did book these at the last minute, so they probably gave us whatever they had available.” He shrugs. His attitude is kind of pissing you off. How could he be so calm right now?
“Well— uh— um— maybe—“ Your words falter as you struggle to come up with a solution. Jacob’s lips quirk up in amusement.
“Maybe you could use that mouth for more than just talking nonsense.”
You make a sound similar to choking, your eyes widening as you process what the hell he just said. You keep blinking at him, mouth parted in astonishment? Shock? Surprise? Bewilderment? Did Jacob Bae really just say that to you?
When you don’t respond for a bit of time, he heads to the bathroom to presumably shower. You’re glued to your spot, unable to move or think. Your head felt like it was hollow, full of cotton. You had to be imagining that entire interaction. That was the only thing that made sense.
Even as the water in the bathroom floods your ears, you’re still dazed. You drag yourself to sit on the edge of the bed, holding the back of your hand to your forehead. You were going insane. That was the logical explanation. Your feelings for Jacob had been stuffed away for so long that you were starting to hallucinate.
Yeah, that’s what you were going with.
You were much too delusional to handle seeing him come out of the bathroom, so you decided to change while he was in there and get ready for bed. You wanted to face the other direction to curve any possible chance of driving yourself crazier. You pull off the oversized t-shirt you were wearing over your swimsuit and dig through your duffle bag for some fresh clothes. You were grateful that you didn’t let your friends peer pressure you into actually swimming, your desire to keep a healthy distance between you and Jacob overpowering wanting to join in on the fun.
As you go to untie your swim top, the squeaky hinges of the bathroom door have you tripping over your own two feet. You didn’t exactly have the best reflexes either, so you fail at catching the strings before they can fall completely. At this point, you’re frozen. You’re planted face first on the floor, topless, with the boy you’ve been thirsting over for months just feet away.
Okay, so perhaps you underestimated how long it took him to shower.
“Y/N, are you— woah—”
“No, don’t come any closer!”
Of course you’re too late and he does not heed your warning. Jacob squats next to you and you can just feel his presence. To everyone else, it’s calming. He’s the person most people go to when they have any qualms about life. He was the definition of the therapist friend. However, that was not the case right now.
His presence was intimidating and your heart was hammering in your rib cage. It was practically beating against the floor. It wouldn’t be beyond you if they heard it in the lobby. You refuse to glance over at him. This couldn’t be happening. It was seriously one unfortunate event after another.
There’s a ghost-like, feather light touch that trails the length of your bare back, sending a shiver down your spine. Just like the first time, it’s like you’d been statically charged. It was as if Jacob Bae himself created electricity. A sigh leaves Jacob’s lips. “Can you look at me, pretty?”
This was something torn straight from one of your wildest dreams. His words, his actions, even the situation you were in. A singular bed that you’re forced to share. This could very well just be the universe’s way of finally giving you a win. Divine intervention did exist, after all.
A peek at Jacob’s form shows you that he’s in nothing but a towel, and it leaves little to the imagination. You swallow thickly. Your lack of cooperation has his patience wearing thin, so he takes matters into his own hands, holding himself up with said hands on either side of your head and straddling your waist.
You can feel him through his towel and the flimsy material of your swim bottoms. He’s hard, pressing into your ass like he’s the one who’s needed to have you in such a visceral way the past ten months. His sculpted chest rests on your back as he leans down, his lips coming beside your ear.
“Tell me you want me, tell me you want me as bad as I want you.” He breathes.
It’s enough motivation to flip yourself over despite being nude from the waist up. You don’t even care anymore, caution thrown into the wind. Your infatuation with Jacob Bae was already concerning, but now it was dangerous. You were getting extremely close to crossing the line you told yourself you’d never cross. But he made it so easy.
Your eyes rake his figure, from his chiseled torso that was handcrafted by the Gods to the way he unabashedly keeps his lower half pinned to yours. You almost salivate at how good this feels. But it’s not enough. You need him in ways that could only be described as carnal. You release a shaky breath when he experimentally grinds his hips.
He leans into you one more time, lips hovering your own and noses brushing. Just a few more centimeters. That’s all that it would take for him to kiss you, but he doesn’t. He flickers his eyes to yours and then back down, wetting his lips as he does so.
“Your eyes are already saying yes, now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.”
You could’ve just spoken the words out loud, but instead you close the gap between you. Your mouths fit together perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece finally reuniting with its set. They glide in synchrony, your fingers coming up to tangle in his hair and run along the expanse of his toned back. He groans when your nails graze his skin. You both part to gasp for air, lips swollen.
“That works too.”
© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#the boyz#the boyz x reader#the boyz suggestive#tbz#tbz x reader#tbz suggestive#the boyz jacob#tbz jacob#jacob bae x reader#jacob bae suggestive#jacob x reader#jacob suggestive#juyeonszn#juyeonszn.100🪩
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A Fairytale Encounter | Jacob Bae
SUMMARY: becoming an herbalist in Clarines wasn't all fun and games when you always knew at the back of your mind that you had a huge debt to pay to the prince of Tanbarun. But who would have thought that a fateful encounter with the prince of Clarines would turn the tables around, potentially rewriting the future that you had been prepared to accept for the past decade?
PAIRING: prince!Jacob x f!reader (feat. bodyguard!Kevin)
GENRE: akagami no shirayukihime au, royal au, fluff, angst, suspense, slight thriller
WARNINGS: pg-13, Jacob is adorable and the sweetest prince ever yes that is a warning, minor injuries, mentions about yn becoming a concubine, kissing, slight fighting scenes, petnames (sweetheart, pumpkin, girlie), Jacob is scary when he's serious / on the battlefield (and also hawt whew 😮💨), Minhyuk is such a jerk here (sorry ophelia) 😃
WORD COUNT: 6,569
A/N: this was written for k-vanity's not your shoujo love story event! and ofc, also written specially & dedicated to @snowflakewhispers 🩵 happiest birthday boo 🥳 you're like a long-lost sister to me, the sunwoo to my eric, and despite all of the bickering and you making me lose my shit on a daily basis, I still love you loads regardless. accept this little birthday gift from moi & i hope you like it 😚🩷 thankiew my pookies @itsbeeble @momhwa-agenda for reading this through for me too ❤️
“Miss Y/N! We have another order for you!”
Your assistant, Kiara, came running into the pharmacy with a note in hand, hastily making her way towards you with an enthusiastic smile plastered all across her face.
“What’s with the rush, Kiara?” You chuckled, grinding the herbs in your mortar with your pestle while looking up to examine her appearance, clearly indicating that she had been somewhere—the dusty and slightly muddied skirt, the soot on her face, as well as her ponytail being all loose and messed up.
The smile on your face instantly disappears. “Please tell me you didn’t get into trouble, young lady.”
Immediately, your assistant pouted before crossing her arms and staring back at you. “Now that’s just rude, Miss Y/N! I was helping you to spread the news about our little humble business.”
“And that includes getting all dirtied and looking like a homeless person?”
Kiara huffed. “You’ll be sorry if you keep it up like this because you’ll lose a valued customer.”
Teasing your little assistant has always been something you’ve come to enjoy; she always gave the best reactions after all. It was a miracle to have been able to find a humble yet enthusiastic young lady like her. It hasn’t been easy for you ever since both your grandparents passed and you had to take over their well-known pub business in town. You have tried your best to keep up with the tradition and run the business for several years until it significantly died down.
Eventually, you discover a stash of books in the attic where your mother used to keep them away when she was still alive. She was a librarian and kept many books away in the untouched room.
As you were helping your grandparents clean up the attic when you were younger, you stumbled upon various books about using traditional methods and herbs to help the sick. Mainly, you picked it up because you wanted to try your best to support your mother in overcoming her illness.
It went well for some time, and you tried your very best to learn about all of the different herbal methods to treat her incurable sickness—it was usually a game like tug of war where she would sometimes feel better on certain days and then back to being under the weather on the rest.
Despite your efforts and using the hard-earned money you have gotten from working at the pub, your mother eventually passed on, leaving you in your grandparents' care ever since you were thirteen. Years passed, and you tried your very best to help them out as much as possible while continuing your interest in herbology.
Eventually, they passed on when you were seventeen, and you decided to change up the humble pub into a local pharmacy instead, giving care and help to the poor by treating their wounds and sickness with traditional herbs.
Business was slow to begin with, and it wasn’t till a few years back that your pharmacy gained a steady momentum, all thanks to your biggest enemy yet wealthiest customer to date—the prince of Tanbarun, Lee Minhyuk.
Just when you thought that you wouldn’t have to see him again after all of the efforts your family has made for you to escape Tanbarun itself, the prince casually walked into your store one fine day, shocked that you were still alive and well. His demeanour immediately changed, and he wouldn’t stop meddling with you, as he kept reminding you about the promise made years ago.
Be my concubine.
You have never liked him in the slightest—you never really knew how he became prince when his older brother, Eunkwang, could have been the much respected and better prince than Minhyuk ever was. It was all because of how he decided to choose his lover over the throne that he decided to leave the kingdom of Tanbarun, leaving their father with no choice but to pass on the heir to the younger male.
Minhyuk was definitely the so-called dream-like prince in the public’s eye as he was everything the people wanted—charming, handsome, and hell, even a womaniser. Undoubtedly, he immediately gained the public’s attention and convinced them that the kingdom was in good hands.
If only the people knew how wrecked this guy actually was.
Ever since that day, he has always made a note about your little humble store and made sure that the people knew precisely how such a place existed and made sure to complete your little store a huge matter in both kingdoms—your former home, Tanbarun; your current home, Clarines.
Part of you was somehow grateful that Minhyuk found your little humble store; you wouldn’t have been where you are today without that. But another part was how you despised that you needed your biggest enemy’s help for your current success. It still makes you feel sick to the stomach to even associate with a guy like him.
Thankfully, he never returned or made any contact with you since that last visit, even though he made a deal to visit your store, or rather, you, once every couple of months. You figured that he was probably busy dealing with his royal duties, and you were grateful for that as you were holding back from taking a syringe to pierce through his forearm the next time he ever made a move on you again.
Or so you thought.
“The letter reads that we are to prepare a large batch of medicinal herbs that are suitable for warriors as they travel across the border to war, and the prince of Tanbarun himself would be coming in precisely three days to review the materials himself,” Kiara read out the little piece of note that was within her grasp.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
It was one day before the agreed meeting with your so-called “client”, and you were just stumbling around the woods trying to add potentially new medicinal herbs to your inventory. Everything was going surprisingly well—good weather, no distractions as if the woods were completely empty, and the sounds of the birds chirping were what calmed you down, too.
It wasn’t unusual for you to leave the store to Kiara for a couple of hours; you have done it a couple of times in the past, but now that Minhyuk would reunite with you again, you couldn’t help but feel all anxious. You swore that if he ever brought Kiara into the mess you both have had in the past, you would definitely skin this man alive.
Hence, you tried your very best to avoid dragging too long and head back to the store as soon as you finished your business.
Just when you picked up the last medical herb at the very end of the woods, close to the streaming lake, you felt a gush of wind coming in your direction. As soon as you lifted your head to see what it was, a massive white animal passed right through you, and it finally came to a halt.
It wasn’t unusual to see horse riders pass through the woods; it was pretty much normal. But something felt off with this individual than the usual ones you come across daily. The individual hopped off their horse and slowly turned back to look at you. It took you quite a bit of time to get yourself back to reality despite you clearly noticing how the individual’s mouth had been moving, indicating that he was trying his best to speak to you.
The male was taller than the ones you were used to, given that you have encountered most males in Tanbarun and the outskirts of Clarines. Naturally, you have assumed that he was part of the wealthy families from the city, judging from his outfits and how he presented himself. You have pretty much met most of the individuals from the little town you resided in, but never from wealthy individuals from the city itself. Hence, your jaw dropped with the way this male somehow showed you more than enough for you to determine what the people who resided in the city looked like.
And with just how attractive he was.
“Umm, hello? Earth to whoever I’m speaking with?”
You finally came to your senses when the male was just mere inches away from you, waving his hands over your face and causing you to take a few steps back. “Oh my god, I-I’m so sorry! I-It’s just that I’ve never seen someone like you…”
The male cocked his head to one side and stared at you strangely before bursting out loud into laughter. “Well, I’m one of a kind around here, so—”
Right before he could finish his sentence, another horse rider came galloping towards your direction before coming to a halt abruptly. Another tall, well-built male leaps off his horse and walks straight up to the male before giving him a smack on his shoulders.
“Ow! What was that for, Kevin!” The male pouted.
“Who the hell told you that you were to head off all on your own, Jacob? You clearly know that you always have plenty of enemies up against you—”
“Calm down, kiddo. We’re just out in the woods for a little ride; there’s no need to panic or be uptight.”
You were just standing there holding your little bag filled with herbal leaves and taking a few steps back before you eventually stepped on one of the branches, which elicited a snap, making both males redirect their attention to you.
“I umm…I think it’s time for me to leave. Sorry for interrupting!” You bowed frantically before turning and walking away towards the other direction, only for your hood to be pulled back by the male.
“Nuh-uh, wait a second, girlie. We weren’t done talking yet.”
“Let me go! I’ve done nothing—”
Before you could finish your sentence, it seemed as if the male had tugged on your hood a little too rough, causing him to pull it away, eventually revealing the part of you that you were most well-known for in town.
Your long crimson-red hair.
Both males were stunned as they stared at you for a good minute, none moving an inch. You didn’t really know what to say then, so you decided that it was best to keep quiet for the time being.
“You have really strange hair,” the male you assumed was Jacob, replied.
Nervously, you start twirling your hair with your fingers, trying to hide the awkward tension in the air. “Y-Yeah! People often tell me that, actually,” you chuckled.
Just then, you noticed how there was a slit right across Jacob’s arms, and blood was slowly starting to seep through the fabric of his clothes. Naturally, your doctor instincts immediately came, and you quickly dug through your bag to find the perfect remedy to treat the wound.
“You’re bleeding! You can’t leave the wound like that for too long; you’ll get an infection—”
“Stop right there, young lady. What makes you think I’d trust you to put whatever is on my wound?”
You were stunned. “What?”
“You never know; it could be poisonous, and perhaps you’re trying to kill me.”
“W-What? Of course not! I’m an herbalist; I treat patients all the time,” you tried your best to reassure the male, but it seemed as if neither of them was convinced by what you had just told them. You immediately dug through your bag again, looking for something to change their minds.
A scalpel.
Immediately, you made a little slit right on your forearm, earning a slight hiss from you and a shocked look from both males. As the blood began oozing out, you quickly took a clean cloth to wipe the blood away before applying the very same ointment you had just shown the two males earlier before finishing it off with a bandage. With that, you lifted your forearm and showed it to their faces.
“See? I’m not a liar now, am I?”
You were met by silence, and it returned until Jacob started giggling and taking a few steps towards you again. He stops right in front of you and shoves his injured forearm straight into your face.
“Well then, let me reintroduce myself properly. The name is Jacob, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I’m sorry about how I presented myself back there, Y/N. That must’ve been an awful first impression,” Jacob rubbed the back of his neck with his other arm while his injured one was in the care of your hands, applying the very same ointment you used earlier and wrapping it up neatly.
“It’s fine; it was my fault too for not speaking up more,” you smiled back, trying your best to tell him that it was something that you didn’t really mind at all.
It just so happened that Jacob had a little hut out here in the woods where he often came as a child. Thankfully, the place was still intact, and all of you could take a little break while you tended to his wounds. As you slowly started to patch the bandage up, you couldn’t help but feel as if a pair of burning eyes were staring at you, making you feel a little uncomfortable. Sure enough, as you lifted your head, you noticed that Jacob was much closer than before, leaning in while resting his chin on the palm of his hand.
“W-What?” You squeaked.
“I have never met a girl like you, Y/N. You just seem very different from all the girls in the kingdom.”
“Kingdom?”
Before Jacob could answer, he was earned with a hard slap on his shoulder, and it was none other than Kevin, who was staring down at his friend rather intensely.
“Hey! Can’t you see that I’m a wounded patient trying his best to get treated?” He argued back.
“With all due respect, Jacob. That’s something that you shouldn’t be disclosing easily.”
God, another awkward moment.
Just like before, Jacob reassured the male and gently put his friend’s hand down from his shoulder, giving them a little rub to reassure him that everything was alright. “It’s fine, Kevin. It would be rude to leave a lady in the dark like that. Besides, she helped me, and I think she deserves to know.”
Kevin wasn’t convinced in the slightest, that’s for sure. However, it seemed he would always listen to Jacob’s orders, despite how often you have seen him hit the guy. As Kevin started to back away, Jacob redirected his attention towards you before lowering his voice slightly.
“Say, Y/N. Do you know who I am?”
“Umm…should I?”
With that response, Kevin couldn’t help but snort at that comment you made, causing Jacob to give him a little elbow punch right into his abdomen, indirectly telling him that it wasn’t a laughing matter.
“You do seem and act like an outcast; you’re probably not a local. Are you?”
“Well.” You cleared your throat as you finished patching his injury up, gently nodding your head to tell him that it was fine to retract his arm away from you before you decided to rest both of your palms on your lap, playing with the hems of your skirt to somehow ease your uneasiness away. “I have a good guess that you must belong to the upper class around here, perhaps an aristocrat or a higher-ranking official.”
Jacob smiled at your answer, but he gently shook his head before posing another question right back at you. “Have you ever heard of the prince of Clarines?”
It took a few moments for you to absorb what he just said completely, and you blankly stared back at him for a good ten seconds before you eventually started to connect the dots in your mind.
“No way.”
“Oh, yes way, sweetheart. I’m him, and he is I.”
Unbeknownst to you, you naturally started backing off a bit, slowly moving your hip back until your back hit the end of the couch. Your eyes widened, and your hands were visibly shaking now, and it was obvious to the two that your uneasiness just shot from a fifty to a hundred.
“I-I umm…I’m not in trouble, am I?”
“What makes you say that, Miss Y/N?”
“I-I mean…I just talked to you casually as if you’re an explorer—”
He chuckled before resting one of his hands on your head. “Y/N. Not all royals talk in royal language. We’re all human beings, too, and we basically live our lives just like any other individual in the kingdom.”
You had no idea what in God’s mind made you wonder that royals are a completely different breed than the rest of the people in the kingdom, including your former home, Tanbarun. You have always assumed that these higher-ranking privileged individuals have a completely different taste of life and that they will never understand nor experience the normal daily lives that the public is used to. They are brought up with tight security, good education, as well as different mannerisms compared to the others. They must be on a whole different level than you were.
Another reason why you have panicked and blanked out was that never in a million years would you have expected to come across an actual individual from the royal family, let alone the prince of Clarines. You have heard tales about the male, his achievements and how he was well-loved by the people; way better than the prince of Tanbarun, that is. But you have never seen nor heard about what he looked like, nor have you read any details or information about the royal family of Clarines.
He was actually such a fine, good-looking male.
Before you could continue with your little deduction session about the prince who was sitting right in front of you, the male himself redirected your attention back to reality, asking you a question while he gently rested his fingers on your chin as he lifted your head to look straight into his eyes.
“What were you actually doing out here, Y/N?”
“Like I’ve told you before, I’m here to collect some herbs for the store—”
“You can try to lie all you want, but I’m pretty good at reading body language, miss Y/N. Something tells me that the herbs you are collecting are something much more than just treating your patients back in town.”
“W-What? What makes you say that?”
“Sweetheart, I am often deployed out to the battlefield. Those large amounts of centella asiatica leaves you’ve got there,” he then points directly at your opened pouch that was left on the floor before continuing with his sentence. “-tells me that you’re preparing a large batch of potentially wound healing ointments, particularly for soldiers.”
So he was as intelligent as you have heard from the rumours.
“W-Well yeah…it’s kind of complicated.”
Just when you thought this conversation was going nowhere, Jacob slowly leaned back to the couch before crossing his arms together as he plastered a smile. “You do know that you could always ask for help, right?”
“What do you mean?” you chuckled.
“Something tells me that whatever has been bothering you is no small matter, and my instincts tell me that this isn’t going to end up well,” he replied bluntly; the jovial and happy-go-lucky Jacob was far gone, now replaced with a stern look, perhaps this was truly what the prince of Clarines was really like on the battlefield.
“With all due respect, sir, well… Prince Jacob. There’s no way that I am going to let a royal like you get caught up with my issues.”
“Unfortunately, I insist. I am and will help you resolve whatever is on your mind, whether you like it or not.”
You have never thought a kind-hearted and soft-spoken person could be this persistent, and how he changed his whole demeanour within seconds somehow terrified you, but you also found it attractive at the same time. If he was not giving up on his proposal, then there was no turning back now, and your only option was to comply if you wanted to walk out of this hut freely and alive.
“It’s about Minhyuk— I mean, the prince of Tanbarun.”
With one sentence about the prince from the neighbouring kingdom, Jacob immediately scowled and hugged his arms tightly around himself. By the looks of his demeanour, it seemed as if the local prince wasn’t the best of friends with the neighbouring prince.
“Jacob, you’re frowning,” Kevin replied.
“He pisses me off,” the latter responded.
“You have wrinkles on your forehead.”
“I was about to feed him to the palace dogs the last time I saw him.”
Kevin sighed. He knew exactly the conflict that both princes had with one another, and Jacob always turned into a five-year-old grumpy kid who just had his favourite toy taken away from him whenever that name was mentioned straight to his face. While his friend tried his best to suppress his emotions, Kevin turned towards you and decided to press on for more details.
“What about him? And how does a commoner like you have any sort of relationship with the male himself?”
Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to explain the situation you always dreaded to recall whenever needed. “You see, I was originally from Tanbarun. It was all thanks to my mother’s effort that she got me out of the hellhole that Minhyuk placed me in. Because of my father’s debt in the past, I was offered to become his concubine when I was finally of age.”
Neither of the two males spoke a word after that—it was either they were trying to sympathise with your situation, or they were trying to figure out what exactly your father had done to offer his very own daughter as a repayment.
“You must’ve been a pretty privileged individual to be able to be caught up with Prince Minhyuk’s affairs,” Kevin replied; you could tell that he was trying his best to ease the situation, and he intended to comment on it fairly jokingly.
“I get that a lot. The fact that he had personally requested that I make a big batch of healing ointments for his soldiers was suspicious enough; I’m pretty sure he has his team of herbalists in the palace. However, he announced that he would personally come to collect the medicines rather than the soldiers…that is something I’m dreading to face tomorrow.”
Jacob immediately stood up from the couch in a furious and annoyed manner, and he began pacing around the room before finally opening his mouth to say something. “Based on my deduction, I’m a hundred percent sure that he would probably make an extravagant event of some sort when he comes to collect your medicines tomorrow in honour of forcing you to come with him finally, that is.”
“Yes, I am fully aware of that, Prince Jacob.”
“So I’ll tell you what, Kevin and I are going to help you out, and again, no more buts. We’re going to stake out the hut tonight,” Jacob began rubbing his chin with his fingers, a smile suddenly forming.
“Jacob, please tell me that you’re in your right mind with whatever you plan to do to that prince,” Kevin pleaded.
“Oh, trust me. It’ll be loads of fun.”
There were about ten minutes left before Minhyuk was going to arrive at the designated spot in the woods. You and Jacob arrived thirty minutes prior, scouring through the woods to see if anything was out of the ordinary, just in case.
As you held the bag filled with ointments you had just made the night before (with the help of both Jacob and Kevin), you couldn’t help but begin trembling as you held onto the handle. It has been a while since you last saw Minhyuk, and you certainly didn’t want to face him ever again, given that each encounter you have had with him has always ended up horribly.
And this time, he would come to force you to become his very own concubine.
You shut your eyes tightly, trying your best to calm yourself down and think of any potential excuses or escape, hoping this will be the last time you will have to face Minhyuk. But at the same time, a deal was a deal, and it was because of your father’s debt that you were in this situation; you needed to repay whatever it was somehow.
Just when you were slowly getting lost in your thoughts, you felt a warm pair of hands rest on yours, and you opened your eyes to turn right towards the male onto your left. It belonged to Jacob’s.
“Hey, we’ve got this, Y/N. You are not alone in this messed up agreement anymore; I promise you that I’ll get rid of Minhyuk easily for you.”
You chuckled slightly when you noticed how his ears were slowly turning red. “Something tells me this isn’t completely about me.”
“N-No! It’s for you and just you,” he huffed before turning his head straight into the direction you both expected him to come from. You smiled at that, seeing how the prince of Clarines was this little humble and, might you add, adorable brunette individual. It must’ve been fate to have met him in the woods.
Just then, you both heard a rustling sound coming from the distance, slowly growing louder each second. Immediately, Jacob retracted his hands from yours and positioned them on his sword, which rested perfectly on the buckle of his hips. His grip on the hilt tightened, and he positioned himself in a manner that showed he was prepared for battle.
After what seemed like minutes turned into seconds, the familiar figure emerged out of the woods, plastering that sickening smile that you have grown used to but also loathe loads.
Minhyuk.
“Why my dear, Y/N, it has been a while; you surely have gotten a lot more beautiful than the last time I’ve seen you,” he smirks as he walks towards you with a smug manner.
Just when he was merely a few feet away, his steps came to an immediate halt when he saw that you weren’t alone as you were told to do so in the letter. “I see that you have come with a guest. Didn’t you know how to read properly, pumpkin?”
Before you could respond to the male with your fist all balled up, Jacob cut himself in and responded with his head up. “It’s none of your business who she decides to bring along. Besides, the woods can be dangerous for a young female like her.”
“Huh. I guess some guys like you just can’t hold himself back,” he spat.
You were used to Minhyuk making these sarcastic remarks towards you, but you surely will not have it when he dumps them upon other people. Your blood immediately boils, and you are going to stomp towards him before Jacob puts his arm around your shoulders, stopping you in your tracks.
That’s right. Know your place and the right timing, Y/N.
It always brings a smile or laughter to Minhyuk whenever he sees you getting all riled up like that, and he begins swaying his body before walking in circles in front of you. “Well, I can see that you have made your promise and gotten my order ready. You truly are meant to be with me,” he said while pointing at the bag of ointments you were holding.
“In return, I have a little gift for you,” he added before pulling out something that he had clearly been hiding since the very beginning.
A basket filled with red apples.
However, you weren’t convinced in the slightest and did not appreciate the gesture in the slightest. “What do you want, Minhyuk?”
“Come on, Y/N. It’s just a basket filled with fruits, that’s all. I’m pretty sure you were a fan of apples, and I hand-picked them myself from the botanical gardens at the palace. I can guarantee you that they are the finest, sweetest and most freshly sourced goods all the way from Tambaram. Surely, you wouldn’t want to miss such an opportunity, right?”
Sure, it was just apples. It could be that the prince himself finally came to his senses and decided to have some morals and repay for what he has done in the past. However, with all of the uneventful experiences you have had with him, you weren’t too sure if you should even accept the gifts at all, even if it came genuinely from the prince himself.
“You can keep them. I’m just here to make the delivery, and then I’ll be on my way.”
“Oh no, Y/N. I came all the way to see you, and you want to leave just like that already? That’s not a very nice way to treat a guest from afar.”
“You have plenty of concubines waiting in the palace for you; there’s no need for you to meddle with someone as lowly as I am—”
It seemed as if you had gotten on his nerves as the look on his face changed immediately. His face darkened, and he reached into the basket to pick out one of the freshest apples among the bunch.
“Look at how beautifully shiny red this one is, Y/N. Surely you would want to take a bite?”
“N-No thanks, I’m good.”
“Not the right answer, Y/N,” Minhyuk holds the apple in one hand while slowly taking a few steps towards you, causing you to back off.
“Don’t do this, Minhyuk.”
“Just a little bite won’t hurt, isn’t it?”
“If she doesn’t want to, I’ll take it.”
In an instance, both you and Minhyuk stopped in your tracks, and your eyes widened as you saw Jacob casually walking straight towards him to snatch the apple out of his hands and examine it to the best of his ability. “It is definitely much shinier than any apple I’ve seen before, and it looks scrumptious if you ask me.”
Just then, Minhyuk began sweating profusely out of the blue, and his speech began to slur as he saw that Jacob was slowly bringing the apple close towards his mouth. “N-No, I don’t think you would want to eat that. Only Y/N would think it’s sweet since this apple would suit her taste buds more,” he chuckled.
You could tell that Minhyuk was trying his very best to convince Jacob not to take a bite of the apple—more specifically, he insisted that it had to be you who would eat it, nobody else. It was the first time you had seen Minhyuk like this, panicking and in a frantic manner. It was new, and it was obvious that something wasn’t right here.
Before you could intervene, Jacob eventually took a huge bite of the fruit, chewing it steadily as he began smiling. “Woah, you’re right! This apple surely is something else. It must be an authentic local produce; your farmers deserve a rise.”
“O-Oh! Does it taste normal for you?” Minhyuk asked nervously as he rubbed his hands together.
“Absolutely! This is insane; you won’t get this anywhere in Clarines—”
Before Jacob could finish his sentence, he immediately collapsed to the ground, clutching his stomach for dear life as he began sweating profusely. Your eyes widened, and quickly ran towards Jacob, holding him up to check on him as best you could.
“Jacob! Jacob! What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong!”
Right there and then, you heard Minhyuk start to pace around and ruffle his hair messily before he began screaming at the top of his lungs at you. “It all would have gone so smoothly if you had just accepted the goddamn apple, Y/N! Why do you always make things a lot harder than they actually are?”
With that, the little knots began forming in your brain, and you finally realised what he was trying to do. “You’re a scumbag.”
“Not my fault that you have turned down my offers so many times, Y/N! Even after I’ve asked you nicely over and over again.”
“I’m not becoming your concubine, ever.”
“Unlucky for you, a debt is a debt, and it still has to be paid. So you’re coming with me, whether you like it or not.”
Immediately, Minhyuk marched towards you and yanked you right out from Jacob, putting way more pressure on your arm that you were certain it would definitely leave a mark once he removed his grip from yours. You tried your best to squirm your way out from him, but he was far stronger than you were, and you were now slowly being dragged further away from Jacob.
“No! Leave me alone! Let go of me— Jacob!!!” You screamed.
Before Minhyuk could drag you back to his carriage, he was stopped immediately when he felt a sharp metal tip on the back of his neck. Slowly, he turned and was met with the one who had always been here witnessing the whole ordeal in hiding.
Kevin.
“W-What now? You brought more friends to the meetup, Y/N?”
“Correction. I was the one who insisted on joining her.”
That voice!
All of you redirected your attention back towards Jacob, who was now slowly getting himself up with the support of his sword pierced through the ground.
“B-But how!? That poison in the apple would take at least a few days to recover without an actual antidote!”
“Unlucky for you, prince of Tanbarun, I’m pretty much immune to most weak poisons like that, especially when I have experienced far worse than this.”
That was when Minhyuk finally saw the family crest that was embedded on the sword that Jacob was holding onto, and his speech began to slur, and his eyes widened upon the contact.
“It can’t be…it just can’t…y-you…” he then points his finger directly at Jacob.
“I’m sure you are well aware of who I am now. Since you have been such a dear and actually confessed to the whole crime just now, it has definitely saved up a whole lot of trouble trying to force the answer out from you back in the trial courts in the palace,” Jacob replied sternly as he swiftly removed his sword and was now pointing it straight towards Minhyuk.
“P-Please let me live…I am the prince of Tanbarun!!”
“Hmm, I don’t think you would still be able to hold on to that title after exposing your crimes to the public. You have done more than enough for the past couple of years, Prince Minhyuk. I have had fun keeping up with your mess and affairs. Especially now that I have witnessed a case like today in person myself, I have more than enough to bring you back to my palace for some questioning, don’t you think?”
Minhyuk then dropped to the ground, and actual tears began streaming down his face, giving Jacob more than enough time to slowly make his way to rest the tip of his sword right below his chin. “Scumbags like you don’t deserve to be king.”
As Jacob looked up to Kevin, the both of them gave each other a nod before Kevin signalled a few soldiers who were around in hiding to personally escort Minhyuk back to their carriage, where they would transport the criminal himself back to the palace.
You stood there motionlessly, refusing to believe that your nightmare for the past decade was gone just like that. All it took was bumping into the prince of Clarines and his companion actually to lend a helping hand, and that was it. As a burden was finally lifted off your shoulders, you decided to lean back against one of the trees before slowly moving down to sit straight on the ground, taking in a deep breath while you closed your eyes to forget about the entire ordeal that had happened before.
Before you could even have a little moment of peace, you immediately let out a hiss when you felt something cooling come into contact with your wound, and you were surprised to see that it was Jacob again, trying his best to patch up your wound.
“I’m sorry that I let him lay a finger on you; it definitely took it a little longer for me to reciprocate from the poison,” he said gently as he applied the ointment onto your fresh bruise slowly.
“W-Where did you get—”
“Oh, well. I may or may not have stolen some of the centella asiatica leaves you have gotten and made a little ointment myself last night,” he smiles as he now takes one of the bandages from your bag to wrap them around the wound. “...and there! That should do the trick, and you will heal in no time.”
“Jacob…you…”
He chuckled. “Look, I read a lot and I myself am interested in botanicals too. I know my way around the battlefield,” he winks before lifting your arms up close to his mouth.
Before you could ask what he was trying to do, he gently leaned down to place a kiss on the wound, resting his lips right there for a good ten seconds before he decided to pull away.
Instantly, you felt the heat rising up to your face, and you tried your best to keep your cool as you asked what it was all about before you eventually failed miserably.
“It’s just a little something my mother taught me. If you give a lot of love and care to a wound, it will heal faster than usual.”
With that, he slowly moved his hand down so that he was now holding both of your hands in his, swinging them gently while ensuring he wouldn’t cause you any discomfort with your wound.
“Say, Y/N. Would you be interested in coming to work as the royal botanist in the palace?”
You were stunned. “M-Me? In your palace? There’s absolutely no way.”
“Hey, never say never, isn’t it? You could always try to take the royal test, and if you do pass, you’ll be here in no time. Besides, I’m sure the palace would definitely need an extra pair of hands in the gardens.”
“I…I don’t know, Jacob…that’s a lot to take in for me…”
“I understand. But you'll know what to do if you ever change your mind.”
In a split second, the young prince pulls you in closer so he can plant a little kiss on the side of your cheeks. Right as he let go of both of your hands, he immediately did a little courtesy bow towards you as he got himself ready to head back towards the carriage, especially when Kevin was about to throw a pebble to his friend’s head to signal him that it was time to go.
“I’ll see you around, Y/N. I look forward to the day when we’ll meet again.”
Just like that, the male sprinted back towards his carriage and gave you a final wave before he and his men took off into the distance. As you were left alone to recollect your thoughts and digest whatever happened throughout the past hour, you slowly lifted your wounded hand to touch the spot where he had just left a kiss.
“Whatever fairytale mess is going on here?”
A/N: may or may not have a pt2 👀
masterlist
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cereal
non!idol jacob x male reader reader prns: he/him word count: 1198 fluff
jacob loves cereal , almost as much as he loves his boyfriend
content warnings: reader gets angry, mentions of cereal addiction
link to original: <3 wp reuploads (misc): <3 masterlist
a/n: my first wattpad reupload😔😔 i love this jacob oneshot<33 I LOVE HIM SM YALL
happy jacob day<3
y/n smiled, wrapping his arms around jacob’s neck. "baby i'm going to choke." he whined, swallowing another bite of his cereal. kissing the man’s cheek, y/n grabbed onto the hand that held his spoon and dipped it into the bowl, taking a bite. "what the hell-" jacob whined, y/n pressing a kiss to jacob's lips to restart the conversation.
"angel, who do you love more? me or cereal?" smiling, jacob pecked his boyfriend's lips, getting the milk off his lips. "cereal."
"jacob!" "what, i was just being honest!"
y/n sat up, pouting as he felt the absence of his light. "angel?" no response. of course. pulling off his blanket and standing up, y/n brought his blanket that he wrapped around his body into the living room, looking for jacob. "angel, what are you doing up?"
turning around, jacob dropped his spoon, caught red handed. "nothing." he replied, trying to act nonchalant. grabbing jacob's phone from off the counter, y/n gasped at the early time. "it's 7:30 on your day off. what are doing up this early?" he asked, fully aware of the reason jacob was up and not in bed resting. "nothing love, i told you!" jacob said, laughing nervously as y/n leaned forward. walking over to his partner, y/n gasped at the site he saw behind jacob’s partner.
"JACOB BAE PUT THE CEREAL AWAY!" he screamed, jacob wincing at the loud noise. "why?" jacob frowned, y/n cupping jacob’s chin. "when did you wake up?" y/n asked. jacob avoided the question, eyes dropping down from y/n’s gaze.. "jacob answer me." letting a sigh out, jacob looked up at y/n with disappointment in his eyes. "6:30." "and what have you been doing?" "eating cereal." y/n frowned, jacob not knowing how to regain y/n’s gaze. "angel."
y/n sat next to jacob, petting his hair. "it's not healthy to do that. you need sleep.” "but it's tastes good! cereal is nice!” jacob cheered, y/n shaking his head. moving the bowl away from jacob, y/n hugged him closer. "just relax. you need to go back to sleep.” jacob pouted, his shoulders dropping as he pulled away, moving back to connect their lips together. the familiar aroma of kraze cereal filled into y/n's mouth, the feelings of comfort and sugar fluttering his stomach.
y/n sighed, stretching his back in his stiff desk chair. he had finished editing the newest chapter of his book, the math textbooks he needed for homework no use to him. "angel! i've finished! want to watch a drama?" he was left with no response, something that was becoming weirdly familar. checking the time on his laptop, he groaned. 11:55. it was decently late. jacob might be asleep in the living room.
y/n grabbed a hoodie and blanket from the small loveseat in the office, he left the room and walked towards the living room, trying to find a way to comfort the most-likely asleep boy. the lights were off, the sounds of breathing the only thing in the living room as y/n stumbled against the walls.
then the clink of a metal spoon sounded through the apartment. he saw a silhouette move to the sink, the sound of water joining the metal as they washed the bowl. "angel." jacob turned around to the lights being turned on, nervously smiling at y/n. "hi babe!" he responded, y/n’s face falling. "were you eating cereal?" y/n asked, tapping his foot. "no." "don't lie." "yes."
"jacob bae it's midnight! we've had dinner." y/n laughed, throwing the blanket in his arms at jacob, walking forward to hug him tightly. "it's just dessert!" jacob responded, y/n pecking his cheek gently. "come on, we're going to bed."
y/n dragged the man by the wrist, going into their bathroom. he speedily forced jacob to brush his teeth (much to jacob’s dismay. “it tastes gross” he complains), then walking to the bedroom. connecting his lips with y/n’s, jacob smiled as he got sat on the bed and tucked himself in, closing his eyes as y/n pulled away.
laughing, y/n jokingly hit his shoulder, getting in bed next to him as jacob whined softly. the two soon fell asleep next to each other, the cereal’s taste knocked out by mint.
y/n woke up, the sun seeping through the thin curtains that covered their windows. he turned over, attempting wrapping his arms around jacob's waist, only to feel jacob’s arms bent like they were holding onto something. "angel?" he groaned, his morning voice crackling as jacob panicked to put whatever the thing he was holding down.
bad idea.
something, whatever it was, spilled on the bedsheets, seeping through the cotton fabric. "what the hell was that angel?" y/n sat up, trying to look at the stain that jacob desperately attempted to cover. "jacob bae is that cereal?" y/n almost couldn’t control the fiery emotions running through his peripheral nervous system. "maybe." "you're eating cereal in bed?" y/n asked, his grogginess gone as jacob turned away from him. "maybe."
y/n rubbed his forehead as he left the bedroom, grabbing the cleaning sprays from under the sink before returning. "i'm about to set up an addiction management class for you jacob bae." y/n deadpanned, jacob standing up straight and nodding his head as y/n sat over the bed. he groaned loudly as he cleaned the spill, throwing the blanket onto the floor.
jacob pouted at his boyfriend’s bad mood, y/n rolling his eyes while a smile appeared on his face. "angel." looking up, jacob’s eyes glimmering at the pet name. "i love you so much." y/n said, putting the spray down and holding his arms open for jacob to hug him. running to y/n, jacob pressed a kiss to y/n’s lips, jacob smiling softly. "i love you too."
"more than cereal?" "more than cereal."
*extra*
jacob entered in the apartment, smiling as his work week was officially over. "baby i'm home!" no response. weird. "baby?"
continuing into the apartment, he worried about the lack of response. had something happened to y/n? then he found him. "y/n." looking up slowly, y/n nervously smiled, milk on his upper lip. "are you eating cereal?" jacob asked, y/n’s head falling. he sighed loudly, nodding in embarrassment as jacob played with a strand of y/n’s hair.
"should you be eating cereal right now?" jacob asked, tilting his head towards the clock that said 5:30, only a little more than an hour before their dinner date. "no." the two laughed, the situation in reverse from how it normally was. jacob put a gentle kiss to y/n’s lips, y/n’s smile returning slowly. "i guess the roles are reversed now.” he whispered, y/n nodding. “i guess so.”
"i love you." jacob whispered, connecting their lips again before y/n could reply. "even if you're eating my cereal." he said, whipping the bowl away from y/n quickly, his loud gasp sounding through the kitchen.
"get back here!" "no!"
happy jacob day<3
#freckledsunshine!#sunnies#writing fs!#kpop fanfic#kpop x male reader#the boyz x male reader#tbz x male reader#the boyz x reader#tbz x reader#jacob x male reader#jacob the boyz x male reader
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Player No More
Word count; 14, 629
Fandom; The Boyz & Stray kids with a little Itzy
Pairing; Reader X Lee Juyeon, Reader X Bang Christopher, Reader X Seo Changbin. Bang Christopher X Seo Changbin
Characters; Moon Kevin, Ju Haknyeon, Lee Hyunjae, Lee Sangyeon, Bae Jacob, Lee Minho, Shin Ryujin, Choi Jisu, Hwang Yeji.
Mentions; Kim Sunwoo, Son Youngjae & Hwang Hyunjin.
Warnings; Angst, Cheating, Jealousy, Conflict, Surrogacy, Food play, Anal Talk, Claim Kink, Oral, Unprotected & Protected Sex,
Notes, Final Part in The Series Player.
Thanks to @light164star who asked me 31 Months ago to write a Juyeon FF.
Which I continued to adapt and got lost in my own bubble of writing. So I hope everyone likes how it's been ended. Till then strap yourselves in for this last ride.
Also please don't forget to check out Trigger MV
Tag list; @nyu-topia
Juyeon POV
"I've only ever loved you, since you fell into my arms. The world was black when you ran away," you whispered as she looked lost in your eyes. You knew you shouldn't but taking sunwoo's words you pressed your lips to hers. You had expected her to stop or freeze against you. But instead she welcomed you as her mouth didn't waste a second working alongside your own. Tongues sliding against each other, you felt her desperation when her hands fell to the hem of your vest. Things was moving very fast, your dreams of reunited with her was at the clasp. You moved carefully scared to slip up this special moment. Not wanting her to realise her relationship with them was in danger of falling apart.
Hands slipping up your naked chest, Y/N enjoyed the feeling of your body as you purposely tensed to let her feel your muscular tone. You could see she was pleased with what she was feeling as you suckled down her hums of appreciation. This only boosted your ego even more. Hands falling to her clothed breasts you cupped them as her lips slipped from you. Fearing you crossed the line your initial fears was soothed when she smirked removing her shirt. Your sure you felt dribble slip down your chin as she's attended to the bra she planned to remove. Spurring you along you removed your vest, her eyes bulging with your naked top half. But it wasn't long before she had you a dribbling mess when her naked breasts were exposed. Your lips wasted no time finding her sensitive bud as you kiss, sucked and occasionally chewed on them. Your other hand exploring its second pair as you got lost in her body. They had grown so much more since you were kids. But more so because of the baby you put inside her. Your dick throbbed at the thought your own semen had grown her up to at least two sizes. You use to be an ass man but suddenly you could easily become a boob man with her. You could see small blemishes forming over her breast from your engrossed suckling. The fact she was allowing you to do this told you that she didn't care for the consequences back home. Instead of guilt you focused on the betrayal Changbin had done. Allowing this to give you free passage with the mother of your child.
Like Y/N was drunk on you she toppled you suddenly so your back was flat on the bed. Her hands ravishing your shorts as they dipped under them to your boxers reaching your hard member. Bringing him to the surface she licked her lips as she slowly started pumping. Pulling the forskin back so she could see your angry tip leaking with precum. She looked like she was contemplating licking the oozing saltiness from you. But like you, she seemed scared that this moment would sink into reality causing her to stop. Tossing her own bottoms off she spit on her own hand to lubricate you. Looking at you to see if you would stop her you rolled your pelvis against her to encourage her further. Dropping herself down your member she slid down you as you hissed.
The feeling of her warm pussy engulfing you felt like heaven had finally come for you. Having your daughter hadn't made her any less tight. She was still wet for you as you felt her glide down you with ease. Watching as she rode you, had your teeth sink into your bottom lip. The way her head threw itself back as her hands laced with yours to steady her was making you feel even more lost. Not helped by the bouncing of her breasts that if you weren't connected to Y/N’s fingers, you would have been holding right now. But you needed more, you needed her eyes looking at you. Lifting yourself up one hand cradled her back as fingers grasped her chin to look at you. You had expected her to hide her guilt but the second your eyes hit each other it was like everything was magical between you both. Sweat dripping from both your brows as you both met each other’s pace. Your whole body was tingling with excitement but also desire as you were getting intoxicated on her beauty. "I fucking love you so much Y/N," you cry as she did little to help a whimper escape as she tightened around you. "You too, always," she said gasping for breath.
Like the words of your declaration of love was spilled, it felt you both had the desperate need to push each other off the edge of your orgasm. Her pace increased as her walls squeezed you tightly. Each pulsation choke around you was getting you closer. Her thighs shaking as she moved herself, so your member was hitting her cervix. Cries was filling the air with mumbled words of your name which only brought you closer. Your thrusts become sharper as you slammed up into her that has her choke and lose her balance. Hands falling to her waist you helped her through her moment of frustration. Nails digging into your skin as she seemed lost above your attack was what pulled you off the cliff. Filling her pussy with your white creamy seed hoping that this was your chance to get her pregnant and keep her. In that second you understood the desperation Changbin had to trap her. But this wasn't trapping her if you loved each other as deep as you do. Your still hardened cock was choked by her wall muscles as she helped to milk your last drops of cum as her own hit her. Convulsing on your cock as her gargles and your grunts fill the air. Your hands pulling her body into your hold till her body settles and leaves her panting like you. Throwing yourself back into the bed you take her with you cradling her as close to you into the silence.
Both of you too scared to speak to analyse what blurred line you both just crossed. Instead, you laid their letting your hands stroke her back as she settled to sleep. You were content in the moment holding tight incase this was one memory left to hold on to. Waiting till her breathing pattern told you she was asleep, you gently rolled her off into your arms as you watched her pull into you. You couldn't help but chuckle at her neediness to be close. How had you allowed yourself to let her go, all these years wasted when she could have always been there. But would you have appreciated her if you didn't know how important she was to you to lose. Kissing her forehead she signed and snuggled closer as she possibly could. Things was going to change, you was finally going to get your family back. A chance to prove to Y/N that the past was nothing but a nightmare.
However, nothing broke you more then waking from your nap to find your arm empty and a note with the words 'sorry that was a mistake,' written. Beneath the pain was burning anger, she had accused you of being a player but this was the second time she had shagged and run. Last time taking your daughter with her, you would damned if you would let her get away with it again. Even if it meant you finding a little of your shallowness to claim her once more.
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Y/N's POV
You felt so content in his arms that you didn't want to wake up. But your burning need to relieve yourself forced you from his grip. Kissing his forehead before you gently slipped out his hold, you laughed to yourself quietly. In that second you were content, you had never felt so complete. Before returning back to him your eyes spotted the blemish he had made on your breasts. It was like it threw you back to reality. Instead of proudness you were hit with guilt. You had cheated on Changbin and Christopher just like he had with Elle and Lulu. But worse they were your life saviours, they were your family. Doubt hit you, not helped when your phone rang with Changbin on the other end sounding worried. "Please tell me your safe and ok," he said sounding broken on the phone as your stomach twisted in pain. "I'm fine," you whispered almost suffocated with conflicted thoughts. "Please come home, I'm sorry for how I reacted. I won't force you to have another try at a baby. I was selfish I just need you back home, safe healthy and happy," he said close to tears. "Please Y/N tell me where you are so I can come and get you," he pleaded as tears began to fall at his broken voice. "I'm coming home now," you said as he sounded relieved. Hearing the words "I love you baby," at the end of the call was like a knife slamming into your chest. Walking to look at Juyeon you felt as if your mind was about to blow up. You knew you loved Juyeon, everything about last night was perfect. But Changbin and Christopher was your family. They had sacrificed everything for you, they deserved their happy ever after family. Finding a piece of paper you wrote the note that you knew would break his heart. But you needed to hurt him to avoid making another mistake. With the note placed you pressed one last kiss to his forehead as he hummed in his sleep. Taking one last look you ran from him once again but this time you took no mistakes. Dashing to the chemist on the way home you took the emergency pill. Ending up pregnant again wasn't what your family needed. -------------------🔺-------------------
Changbin waiting impatiently when you arrived home had him throw his arms around you holding you tight to him. "I'm so so sorry," he sobbed as his tight hold almost crushed you. His kisses plastered all over your face as your stomach sinked with guilt. "It's ok, I'm sorry I ran too," you said knowing if you hadn't run you wouldn't have betrayed them so much. "I should have told you about Juyeon, I was selfish and desperate to have an additional reason to keep you," he whispered cupping your cheeks. "I won't push you to have a child till your ready I promise," he said as he pressed his lips to yours. His lips felt foreign and for the first time wrong. Like he knew that you wasn't comfortable he took a step back from you. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that, I have so much I need to do to make up to you," he whimpered which broke your heart more. He had mistaken your avoidance as your anger towards him still. In a desperate need to put everything right you pulled him closer to you and kissed him once more. Instead of his lips Juyeon's filled to your mind instead and the guilt ate away further at you. "I need a bath," you said finally pulling from him in a desire to find a place to sort your head out away from all men. "Ok we're talk later, Christopher’s collecting Jubin so we can talk once Juyeon comes to collect her," he said stroking your arms as your eyes widened. "Juyeon's coming here," you gasped in horror. "Yes I messaged him, Christopher has decided enough is enough. We need to show Jubin we can be civil," he said as you shook your head in fear. "I don't want to be civil," you proclaimed as he chuckled pulling you closer to him. "I know how you feel but we have to do this for our daughter. He is her dad and he has the right to have a civil relationship with us. Jubin deserves that surely," he said placing his finger under your jaw to look at him. "Why do I have to be their?” you whimper. Would Juyeon spill the beans on what you both did last night? "Because your Jubin's mum, look we just have to show Jubin every now and then, we can all be friends even if we have to fake it," he said pulling you close to his chest. "I don't want to," you whimper like a child which has him amused. "I'm honoured that you want to avoid another man bustling into our family but we really have to," he said stroking your back. "So go wash up, wake up a little and pull yourself together baby," he said as you nodded making your way to burn the hell out of your skin and especially the memories of Juyeon off you. You knew being around Juyeon was bad news why didn't you run the second you woke in his bed.
You tried to avoid walking into the livingroom for as long as you could, even when you knew Jubin was home. You found everything overwhelming but also dread once Juyeon would arrive. Would he keep what you did a secret? Would he even find it in him to let you go. All you knew, was you had to find a way to avoid him so you didn't become unloyal again.
"Mummy," Jubin said throwing herself at you with excitement as you ruffled her hair. "Hi sweetie you ready for Samchon Juju's today," you said as Christopher looked at you with arms folded. "You mean daddy silly," Jubin said as you bit your lip never getting use to her calling him dad. "Sorry sweetie I forgot that's what you like to call him now," you said as Christopher looked at you with a knowing look. "What did we say about civil," Changbin whispered in your ear as Jubin went to her school bag on the other side of the room. "I think I preferred it when you hated him," you whispered back. "I do still hate him but we can't show her that, she has to come first," he said resting his hand on your shoulder. "So please for her leave this angst till him and Jubin’s gone," Changbin said as Christopher walked his way towards you. "Where was you last night?" He asked as your eyes looked at him with shock that he felt an accusation was needed. "I went for a drink with some friends," you said trying to stay calm as your memory attacked you. "What friends?" He quizzed like he knew where you was. "Oh god it's Juyeon," Changbin said behind you as your head turned to him as the blood drained from your body. "What?" You said almost panicky as he chuckled your way. "Look we just have to behave for a short time and then you can go back to hating him ok," he said softly as he kissed you walking to the door to greet the car that pulled up.
Of course Juyeon had arrived you hadn't been outed, but Christopher's face was almost telling. "You can finish telling us when their gone," he said with interrogational glances your way. "Sure," you said trying to sound enthusiastic rather then dread. "Daddy," Jubin said running up to him to hug him as he held her in his arms before briefly looking your way. It was like the second your eyes took each other that you were burning in the hell you had created. Changbin’s supportive arm around your waist did little to calm your flooded emotions. Juyeon's eyes took his embrace in his view and you could see something you hadn't witnessed on his face for years.
"Why don't you come in for a coffee," Changbin said almost taking him by surprise. "We've decided that we should all be civil for Jubin's sake," he said in the calmest you had seen Changbin offer. "Princess, Samchon Sunwoo is in the car why don't you go check he's not getting up to mischief while I talk with mummy, daddy Chris and daddy Binnie," he said as he placed her to the floor. "Bye," she waved briefly as she dashed to the car which seemed to hurt Changbin a little with his slight goodbye.
“Why now?" Juyeon said looking to them with his arms folded. "Because we have to put our little girl first," Changbin said softly under Juyeon's deadly glaze. "You mean after letting false rumours in the past to affect my daughter," he spat out as you closed your eyes not wanting to see the Civilness Changbin had offered shot down. "Look Binnie sorry he really is he shouldn't have acted like that," , "he hasn't apologised to me," Juyeon cut Christopher off. "I'm sorry, I acted on insecurity and impulse," Changbin said still keeping calm despite Juyeon's anger. "Fine I accept your apology, I appreciate the civilness. Infact I have a gift for you," he said calmly as he passed a bag to Changbin. "Thanks mate you didn't need to," he said as he opened the bag all while Juyeon smirked in your direction.
"Oh wow prenatal medication, wow that's really sweet of you man thank you," Changbin said as he looked at Christopher. Meanwhile your heart was thundering a million miles per hour as you felt air a challenge to take in. "Well the least I can do now she's not pregnant with your child is to protect her when she could be pregnant with mine," he smirked your way.
It was like wind was taken from you as you stumbled backwards into the kitchen island. You didn't look to see Christopher’s reaction but you could feel his eyes closing in on you. "I'm confused," Changbin scoffed as Juyeon laughed. "Your girlfriend was with me last night in my bed," Juyeon said slowly so he could understand. "What is he saying Y/N?” Changbin asked looking to you with hope in his eyes. "I don't know," you mumbled before Christopher grabbed you by the arms to face him.
"The least you can do for us is not lie. I know you left that club with him Hyunjae told me as your friend rang him," he said as you heard Changbin whimper slightly. "Wait you knew that but didn't tell me yourself," he said sounding hurt. "Binnie she had to tell us, plus I didn't know they slept together. I was hoping it wasn't what I feared," he said looking over at you and your face hit the floor words failing you. "Y/N tell us he's lying please," Changbin said turning you to face him as tears started to spill. "Please please say you didn't," he said shaking you slightly as all you could muster was a sorry that was barely audible. With your words Changbin's hand dropped from you as Juyeon laughed. "You thought I was the player but she is," he spat out with venom in his voice. "She's the woman who always throws herself at men, she was when we was kids, she is now because I tell you something she didn't even put up much of a fight. Infact she was talking about leaving you," he sneered as your head snapped to him.
"Lies I never said I would leave them," you bit out. "That's why I left the second I came to my senses when I woke up," you growled his way making him laugh harder. "The only reason why you left is because your a coward. You always run away from the problems you cause. You ran when you played me with Sangyeon and Hyunjae, you ran when you fell pregnant. You would have run if Jubin wasn't unwell. Taking her from me again. You ran today after telling me you loved me always," he said sounding in pain. "What hurts me the most is you make out I'm a player, when I grew up and you didn't," he added as the room went silent. "Before you throw Elle and Lulu at me just remember your now no better. Me, Elle and Lulu were kids, what's your excuse your a full blown adult," he spat out as you felt like his words sliced you with a knife.
"I didn't have it recorded for everyone to see," you barked out as Juyeon laughed. "Enough Y/N, you're in the wrong and you can't get out of it this time. We have asked you at every opportunity we could if you wanted him. You swore you didn't, you swore it was us. You even had me believing you recently it was just us you wanted. If anything this proves we was right on our instincts," Christopher said disappointed. "Why am I getting the heat it takes two to tango," you snap feeling like they were ganging up on you. "Because we're fucking you not him," Changbin snapped slamming his fist down as his final resolve snapped. "You played us," he whimpered after the room fell silent. "What hurts the most is you had unprotected sex with him just after telling me I was trapping you for wanting a baby," he said with pure pain in his eyes. "You wanted a baby to keep me," you said as his eyes widened as he tried to calm his resolve. "Seems you wanted a baby with him to keep him," Changbin bit back as he snapped his finger at Juyeon. "I didn't, I took the morning after pill immediately. I didn't mean to sleep with him, I didn't set out to I promise," you whimpered trying to hold on to his hands as he shook it off. "I'm sorry guys but I need to go I can't listen to this bullshit," Juyeon said snapping into the air. Your eyes fell to his and they looked just as much in pain as Changbin's. "Your lucky you have Jubin watching this in the car otherwise I would knocked you out. Because your not innocent in this," Changbin growled with his fist tightening. "But do you know what your right you win, take her with you I don't want her here, I don't want to ever set my eyes on her neither," Changbin growled out as you heard Christopher gasp behind you. "Binnie let's calm down, lets talk this through," the elder panicked. "No, I can bring up another man child because we walked into that situation, I love that girl with all my heart. But I don't want her, I don't want someone who lies and cheats," he said looking at Christopher only. "So she's yours take her, we're sort out Jubin later. Because I refuse to believe your the kind of man who would hurt your daughter just to hurt us," he said looking at Juyeon who's eyes still refused to look your way. "I don't want her neither, I'm out I don't want to play her game no more," he said before walking to the door. "I promise you I won't stop Jubin seeing you both though if you decide to kick her to the curb," he said before banging the door as he left. You watched as he walked towards the car, the room icy silence as you watched him drive away.
"I said you can leave now," Changbin bit out bringing your attention back. "Binnie," Christopher pleaded as your head buzzed with pain as you were struggling to come to terms with what was happening. "No Chris, all we've done is give her what she wanted. Yet she hurt us in the most unimaginable way. I knew she loved him, but she made out point blank she wasn't. But to sleep with him behind our back, nope I'm done," he said looking at him. "I'm done," he spat out towards you. "Do I need to call Hyunjae to drag you from this house?" He questioned arms folded. "Please just let me explain," you whimpered as he mockingly laughed. "Fine, do you love Lee Juyeon?” he asked as your heart thundered under his question. It was like a cross bow because what ever you answered it wouldn't be good enough. If you agreed he would have his fears confirmed, if you denied it he wouldn't believe you. But the latter was your only chance, you needed them, Jubin needed them. "No i don't," you cried which as you knew furiated him even more. "See even now you can't be honest to us," Christopher said before Changbin could. "Look I think maybe you should go to Kevin's tonight, we can talk later when everythings calmed down," he said looking at you silently softer then Changbin. "But I don't want to," you pleaded as Christopher looked to Changbin sightly torn. "Why because Kevin won't shag you, hey do you know what I’ll help you out," he scoffed as he grabbed his phone scrolling through. "Hyunjin I'm sure will be up for a night of unattached fun, let me hit him up for you," Changbin seethed your way. "So you want me to leave?" You asked feeling weakened by his attack. "Yes, if it wasn't for Jubin I would have wished I never met you," he growled as the tears start to fall. "You can show those tears all you like but remember you did this to us. You, not Me, not Chris. You can't even put all the blame on Juyeon because At least he warned me what he was going to do," Changbin hit out shaking. "Is this what you want too?" You said with pleading eyes Christopher's way. "I think it's best for now, let's all sleep on it," Christopher said calmer as you softly nodded feeling defeated. "Don't say the sleep word, she’ll use that as an excuse to get in to someone else’s bed," Changbin mocked which has Christopher deadpan him. "Ok ring me when your ready to talk," you said walking towards the door. "That’ll be never," Changbin hit out behind you as you looked his way once more pure anger in his features. "Wait Y/N you need a coat or some clothes," Christopher said out to you. "Don't worry about me, it seems I'm not your problem anymore. I came into this relationship with nothing it's only fair I leave with nothing," you said feeling sorry for yourself. " Goodbye don't let the door hit you on the way out," Changbin said making your heart ache with his venomous words. "Changbin," Christopher scolded, as he rolled his eyes and walked out the room shouting 'what ever,' over his shoulder. "Please Y/N take something to keep you warm," Christopher pleaded. "Thank you for always being sweet to me even when I've always let you down. He's right though I need to fend for myself. I'll be ok though I'm sure," you said trying to reassure Christopher who looked close to tears himself. With that you kissed his forehead and walked out the house.
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Hiding in Jacob's & Lia's House hadn't been easy. Lia wasn't pleased with your presence. Jacob was conflicted being a friend of Juyeon and Christopher especially. He had tried to encourage you to go and stay with Kevin but you were avoiding him yourself. You knew the harsh words that would come from him and Haknyeon. Seeing the texts of theirs and Hyunjae’s disappointment had really sunk in how you had messed up. You knew the only reason why Jacob had relented was because of Jubin. Ryujin had already moaned that she was annoyed being the mediator between everyone. Herself and Minho being the third party support system in transport Juyeon from her now three homes. You could see in your texts from Christopher and Juyeon you hadn't been forgiven in any way. Changbin hadn't even bothered contacting you which you expected. "You can't stay here forever, you really need to start thinking of a permanent plan," Jacob said softly as he sat next to you at the dinner table as you enjoyed your coffee. "I know but the only other option I have right now is unfair on the guys," you said looking into your cup. "Why are you moving country?" He laughed as you smiled watching his amusement. "No, Dads offered me to move back home with Jubin. But going back home Means taking Jubin away from her fathers," you said pouting. "And what's the problem with that it's not like it's that far away," Jacob scoffed making you wish it was that simpler. "Because they would say I'm running away again," you said sipping your hot liquid. "Why do you care what they think?" He asked intrigued. "Because they made that point to me and I never realised that I have a history of running. I need to change, for Jubin but also for myself," you said speaking honestly.
"Their right all I've ever done is put myself first, even when I hurt the two most kindest people in my life. I was too focused on my own selfish needs. I need to be less selfish," you said watching the ripple of your drink placing it down. "If Juyeon can change I should at least try," you said looking up to him smiling warmly. "I'm proud of you Y/N," he said as you smiled back. "But as much as you want to change you have to work with what you have. I'm sure if you had a constructive conversation they would be able to find a middle ground," he said as you nodded. ---------------------🔺-----------------
With plans made with your father, you text the group chat with them asking for the days of contact to be moved to fit around the slight long distance. You didn't mention that you were moving away as you felt that was your personal life that you now had to remove from them. Juyeon had been more then happy with that suggestion, Christopher said he would need more time to think it through. Changbin wrote his first message your way. 'Why should we run around after you, you messed our family up why do we have to be punished.’ You couldn't do right for wrong even now and though you deserved it you felt a little angered. 'This is the easier option to avoid you guys running around more,' you replied hoping you wouldn't need to go into detail. 'I don't care we are not having our days messed around,' Changbin wrote back as your head hit into the table in despair but also guilt. 'I'm homeless, I have a place that’s far away from here,' you typed watching as three dots worked underneath. 'Running away again?' Changbin hit out as you shook your head you knew it was coming. 'Where are you going?' Juyeon wrote as you couldn't help but smile a little. 'Back to my dads,' you wrote honestly as the dots appeared again. 'That's good Jubin would love to start seeing her grandad more. She told me how she would like to visit him soon so she will be pleased,' he replied as you were content with his civilness. 'Thanks,' you wrote back you wanted to add for the support but you didn't want to anger Changbin further.
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It had been another week and it was your last day before moving back to your fathers. You didn't really have much to pack especially as your stuff was at Changbin's & Christopher's. You didn't really fancy meeting up with them to collect it. You had been surprised when Kevin arrived, you hadn't really spoke to him much, but you was still glad to see him. But you were even more surprised when he said he would take you to Sangyeon’s.
"Christopher's taken all yours and some of Jubin's stuff there," he explained when you looked at him puzzled. "Why didn't he just pass it to you," you scoffed rolling your eyes. "Because I'm your friend, I don't think he wants to see us, me and Hak remind them of you," he said sitting down on the chair opposite. "He has my daughter I’m sure that reminds them every day," you bit out without thinking as Kevin looked at you with raised eyebrows. "Don't be a complete asshole Y/N, you know they love her and that they won't ever push her away," he said with his usual sass. "I don't want to push them away from her," you said softly that made him look at you with a brief supportive glance. "That's good to hear it's our job as adults to make this as pain free to Jubin as we can," he said as you nodded. "I know I've already made it so hard for her and now she has it awkward with me and Juyeon and me and them. Yes I know I'm the one to blame for that," you said admitting your guilt. "Juyeon too, he went through that all just to chew you out," he scoffed as you grimaced.
"I hurt him just as much, I knew my feeling was for him and instead of admitting it I left the guys who supported me through everything going for longer in hell," you said biting your lip to stop the stinging in your eyes. "Have you told them that?" He asked as you shook your head silently. "No they wouldn't listen, rather Changbin wouldn't. He hates me so much and if I'm honest their is nothing I can say that will ever change that," you said feeling sad for everything lost between you both. He had been your biggest supporter over the last couple years and yet was the one you hurt the most. "I don't think he hates you he's just hurting so much. He's made himself become someone he didn't like, to still lose you anyway," he said as you understood what he meant. You had made him insecure but messing with his intuition. He feared you returning to Juyeon before Jubin was even born and yet that's what you did to him.
"I know it's what hurts the most that I made him like that," you said as Kevin gave a sympathetic look. "What about Juyeon?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "What about him?" You replied as pain shot through you. You had built so much anger on him that you hadn't even acknowledge how you felt towards him. "You're in love with him Y/N, can you Atleast admit that?" He asked as you nodded words failing to fall. "Then why are you not fighting for him?" He asked which had you shocked. "Kevin Moon are you trying to be team Juyeon? I thought you were team Binnie and Chris?" You scoffed amused as he looked at you with raised brows. "I'm team Y/N, and the fact you ended up sleeping with Juyeon tells me that your team Juyeon," he says as your brain feels pressure from a headache that your sure is the juyeon avoidance.
"I'm team Y/N too, No men in my life. Plus it seems I've hurt Juyeon too so it's a good thing," you said rubbing your temples. "Juyeon is Team Y/N as well regardless how hurt he is. You really think taking a morning after pill and pushing him away after you slept with him that he will let you go?" He questions as you remembered his broken face. "You didn't see that hurt in his eyes. He's right I didn't realise I had been hurting him so much just from a silly mistake he did as a kid," you said as the sudden attack of guilt from his own words hit you. "Hey he was a right dick at college don't go easy on him. Remember those words he said when he heard he was going to be a dad. Yes he says it's different response because it was you. But what if you wasn't you. He isn't innocent in this, personally I think both of you are bad as each other," he ranted showing his true anti Juyeon colours. "Oh hi Kevin their you are," you chuckled. "I don't feel an inch sorry for Juyeon let's put that point across. But he is Jubin's dad and I hate to admit it he is really good with her," he said relaxing in his chair looking like he’s torn finding something positive about him.
"What I'm saying is Jubin brings out the best of him and maybe now as he seems to have settled himself down. That maybe settling down with him won't be the worse thing in the world. Especially as we know he loves you and you love him," he said as you remembered all those cherished moments as a family with him. The way he would tenderly look after your little girl but also with you too. However, with those memories came Changbin and Christopher's everything you had shared as a family unit. Thinking of something with Juyeon felt like it wasn't allowed still.
"I can't that would be wrong to Binnie and Chris," you said biting your lip remembering their broken faces too. "Y/N I can concretely say that that ship has sailed. Binnie won't forgive such a deceit like this. Christopher knows your in love with Juyeon he won't ever fall into a world where Y/N pretends she's not in love with someone else," he said as his words really stung. "Even still i don't want to hurt them more rubbing salt in the wounds," you reply as silence fills the room.
"So if they was to give you their blessing then what?" Kevin said after a long minute of silence. "You met Changbin right!" You chuckled. Christopher would in time but Changbin would never give you his blessing it wasn't his style especially as right now he was hurting so bad. "Humour me Y/N," he sharply asked you. "Look I don't know, all I know is right now I need to work on me. I need to be a better person, I need to go to Fathers and be a good mum to Jubin," you replied shunning the topic. He looked at you almost wanting to push further but before he could continue he shut himself down.
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It felt surreal being back at Sangyeons house. This very home being the reason why you and Juyeon wasn't together. It felt like collecting your stuff here was their revenge to hurt you. "Y/N," Sangyeon came out to the car to hug you tightly. "I wish you came to us, I could have put you up," he said holding you tightly by your arms. "Can I change your mind?" He said as you smiled as his always warm response to you. "I need a new life away from here, away from all the memories of every fuck up," you said as he pulled his arm around you and walked you to the house, Kevin following behind. "Well I hope you remember to visit us if you come back to town again," he said as you stepped into the living room.
It was when your memories flooded you. You could see the kitchen from where you stood. It was where Juyeon got jealous of Jacob and was planning the game of truth and dare. But also just metres where you stood was where you kissed Sangyeon. The moment when you both had tried to convince Juyeon and Lulu that you were an item. It was the first moment where you acted bitterly and that moment of wanting them to believe you was a player yourself. Deep down you enjoyed the power to hurt someone like they hurt you. You swore you wouldn't act bitterly any further. Yet instead you went onto do far worse. "Are you ok?" Sangyeon said to you with slight concern. "Just loads of memories being back here," you said smiling towards him. "Some good ones too I hope," he said smirking knowing where your mind had gone as you nodded. "We put your stuff in the spare room, I know their be stuff you don't want to take so go through it. What you leave I will deal with and what you want, put in the hallway and I will put it in the car," he said as you nodded silently. "Do you want to do it now or have a drink first?" He asked as you shook your head. "I really want to get it sorted as soon as possible," you admitted not wanting to be in the house with the overpowering memories any longer then you had to.
Following Sangyeon he took you to the room as you froze his way. "My stuffs in here?" You whimpered as he looked at you guiltly. "Ironic I know but it's the spare room for that reason," he said looking pained. You felt sorry for him in that second. One of his former girlfriend’s best friends had married his younger brother. Meaning he couldn't get away from the whole Juyeon and Lulu drama. "I’ll leave you to go through them, but if you need me just call," he said looking guilty. He seemed so desperate to get away from the room and you wish you could too. But the room of pain was about to swallow you, the room where they slept together was about to consume another pain too.
Stepping into the room you had been expected to find boxes and junk with hours of pain to hit you. But instead you found Juyeon Christopher and Changbin. Before you could bolt out the room the door shut and locked. Turning to face it you tried to escape as the knob wouldn't work with you. "Sorry but you guys need to talk," you heard Kevin the other side. The sneaky little shit had clearly followed behind you. "You planned this on top of putting up with him?" Changbin scoffed to Christopher as you realised he was equally set up. "We need to talk this through all of us, we need to put things right for Jubin's sake," Christopher scoffed. "So you locked us all in a room, that didn't work out well last time," you said with shakey breath. "Last time we was all hurt and angry," Christopher said warmly your way. "I'm still hurt and angry," Changbin growled out. "Sorry," you said barely audible. "That counts for nothing, you tore my family apart," he growled your way, venom still in his voice. "Right enough, we each are going to say what we want to say to each other. Not a single word can be said till it's your turn to speak do you get it," he demanded with a rare sense of authority as the room silenced.
But for a second yours and Juyeon's eyes found each other. He looked dishevelled and not as glowing as usual. His silence as he stood to the window let him know he wasn't happy being in this room neither. "I will start," Christopher said turning to Juyeon. "This is really hard, you have no idea how hard this is for me. You think I'm ok with this because I'm the one trying to be calm. Because I love Jubin so much I will go through hell for her. But beneath that I hate you, I hate you so much. I hate that your Jubin's father and I'm not biologically. I hate that now I don't even have Y/N I'm even more less of a father then I ever was. I hate that though I knew Y/N was never mine you still took her. I won't lie, I wish Jubin didn't get so sick so I didn't have to keep my promise to let you into her life to save her. Even though deep down I know you would have saved her even if I didn't promise that. Because I hate that despite the image we had that you couldn't ever be a dad your one amazing father that that kid could ever want. It hurts so much that I'm the outsider with the child I put my all into to bring up," he said as tears fell down his eyes. The words having an equal effect as Juyeon looked pain to hear them. But you felt the tears drop from yours as Christopher faced you.
"As for you Y/N I wish I could hate you I wish the hatred I reserved for him I could place on you. You have hurt me so much but the very man I loved. I begged him to be a part of yours and Jubin's life. I made him fall in love with you and despite his warnings you hurt me so much. Not just with my own pain but witnessing his pain too. But I can't hate you, I've tried, I've tried so much," he paused to fight for breath to continue. "But theirs a massive great big ass hole in my heart. A silence in the house that even Jubin’s loud sassiness can't fill. I love and miss you so much it hurts. What hurts more is I know I can ask you to come home you would. For maybe a few months we would be ok. But your never be in love with us the same way. You're in love with Juyeon, though he has done some things in the past to hurt you. It's clear from those that knew him back then that he's changed. He did that for you and Jubin," he paused walking towards you as he cupped your face catching the tears that was falling. "Don't hurt more people then you need to. Me and Changbin should be only the only ones to bear this pain. Though he won't admit it right now, don't hurt us for nothing. Promise us your keep Jubin our little princess and we will give you the blessing to be with Juyeon. Even though please give Changbin time to get use to it all before he settles into that," he finished letting his hand pull up to stop Changbin saying anything. Hearing those words, seeing his pain hurt, it hurt so much. You had done this to the most gentle people on earth. Even still he was giving you permission to be with the man who had taken everything from him.
"Baby, we have gone through so much hardship haven't we," he turned to Changbin who was sobbing. "But we didn't do it in vain, we got to bring up Jubin for four years just us. I think even you would admit their was amazing things we witnessed as parents. Even if it ends tomorrow and we never see her again," he paused to choke back a sob as Changbin tears streamed down his face. "We have had four amazing years, five if you include to now. Where we have been that little girls world. I don't know about you but I don't regret that for a second. However, we will if we hold on to this anger more then we need to. Please can I have one more wish, can you do one more thing for me. Humour me one more time and find it in your heart to search for the forgiveness. Not for them but for you, us and for Jubin, please," he begged as Changbin placed his hands in his. The pain on them both was more pain then you could witness especially knowing it was at the cost of what you had done. Holding Changbin in his arms they sobbed while you and Juyeon just stood their and watched.
After a while Christopher stood back and nodded at him. "I will try, but it hurts so much. What they've done to our family is so hard to come to terms with and I'm not coping coming to terms to our family being split up," he sobbed holding Christopher’s hand. "But I love you and Jubin more then the world itself and I will try that's all I can promise. Just promise me you won't leave me if I can't try forever," he pleaded as Christopher nodded. Turning to Juyeon his face tensing as he gulped. "Be honest please don't hold back," Juyeon said eyes watering. "Trust me I plan to, if I have to find a way to like you for a second I will tell you what you've done to us, both of you so I hope your listening too," he bites out momentarily looking your way. "I hated you when I heard about you, I hated you when I realised who you were. But I was happy too knowing you was the man who cheated on his fiancée with a stripper. It meant you wouldn't take my family away. But you did, you wormed your way into my family and blew it apart. Pretending you had changed and you wasn't even tempted to go there. Yet the second Jubin knew who you were you jumped on that. I will give you both the blessing you need on one deal. You never ever take that girl from us because regardless how any of us feel. That girl has seen us as her dads since she was born. We were the one she learnt to talk to. I was the first man she called daddy. We held her hand as she learnt to walk, cheered when she had her first smile, walked, ran, talked, learnt her colours, could even write her name, that was us. Actually no that's a lie the learning part was him," he said pausing to look at Christopher. "I know we have to share firsts with you and we will miss a lot of them but we were important to her to have them. So please don't ever make out to her that we're nothing to her. Please I beg you, please don't hurt us anymore then you have." he begged as Juyeon nodded. "I promise you i won't," he said as Changbin turned to look at you.
"I'm so very angry I don't think theirs a word in the dictionary that can explain how angry I am with you right now. You didn't just cheat, you gave fake promises. As strangers you promised honesty and then deceived us instead. I can't find it in me yet to forgive you. It's going to take longer then it will do with Juyeon. Because we loved you more then you can ever know. We can kind of understand a man's desire to get his family back. He owed us nothing, yet you promised us things you couldn't keep. Instead of telling us what we feared so we could have talked it through. You denied it, hid feelings you couldn't and hurt us further in the process. Because even if you don't admit it to yourself, I already knew you was in love with him the second you saw him everything flashed back. The second him and Lulu split up you knew you still loved him. If you had been honest their and then we could have reached it much more calmer for everyone involved. But instead because I knew it I became someone I wasn't proud of. I'm not blaming you because I have to take ownership that my insecurity went to a level it never should. I'm sorry for the way I behaved, to both of you," Changbin said as Christopher held his hand smiling at him proudly. "Which one of you is going first?," Christopher said as you put your finger up into the air.
"Binnie," you said holding his hand and being surprised when he didn't take it away. "I should have been strong enough to protect you like you protected me. I should have told you my real feelings instead of leaving it to boil till I hurt you in the worst way possible," you paused as his eyes watered again with your words. "I'm sorry I made you become someone you didn't like, but I think your being too hard on your self. I played you in a game I wasn't aware I was playing. I knew I didn't promise you at the start. But because of the loyalty I felt I had to and that makes it worse because I stopped becoming loyal in lies while trying to be loyal. I've messed up really badly and I have to take that on and own it. I know your going to be angry for a long time and I know how hard it will be for a while. But know that I cherished every second I spent with you both. Know that I miss you every day and though I didn't love you enough," you paused breathing in deeply admitting it for the first time. "Know that I did love you, you were my best friend who would take my side in every argument even if you knew I was wrong. Listen to my struggles when I couldn't cope even if you were struggling yourself. I miss that, I miss you, I think that’s why I held on selfishly as long as I could. Because losing you like that it's worse then losing you as my partner," you admitted as he warmly smiled for the first time. "I'll tell Kevin and Hak shall I that I got their job," he joked that made you smile how easily he had dethawed. "I promise you both I won't ever let Jubin be taken away. She's still your daughter, no one can take that from you I won't let it.
Turning to Christopher your hands took his too. "I'm so sorry I gave you this beautiful picture of a everlasting family. And though you acknowledged some troubled waters, I made it seem more tranquil then it was. What hurts the most is I don't regret it, I don't regret asking for your help to raise her. Because watching you fuss around after her, parents me and Changbin too has been the best beginning of an upbringing for her. Though we haven't got to the end result we wanted. I promise you will get the end game you need with her. Because I owe you that for saving my life," you then turn to Juyeon words almost failing you.
"Be honest even if you don't want us to hear it. We need to, to let you go," Christopher said softly as he rested his hand on your shoulder. "I love you," you said almost feeling the wind taken from you. Hurting when you heard Changbin choke softly behind you. "I'm sorry I took that from you when i told you that, I'm sorry for running away, I have no excuses I don't even know why I did what I did. I don't know why I feel the need to run when things get too much. But that's a me problem that I have to work on when I get to my dads. "Changbin’s Correct. I did fall back in love with you at the wedding but he's wrong when. It was when you saved Jubin's life, I knew that second I was in trouble. I tried to hide it to protect my stable life. The more I spent time with you as parents the more the dream I wanted when I found I was pregnant was coming alive. I was stuck with confusion, confliction, loyalty even if it was wrapped in deceit in the end. Even now i don't think I've unwrapped how deep my feelings are. I was too grossed in blaming the past for where things were going wrong I forgot to see that things happened for a reason. What happened meant you got to grow, I got to meet these two. Though it hurt me as you wasn't ready they got to give Jubin stability when she needed it the most. All I can say and I won't stop saying it is I'm sorry to all of you," you said looking at the floor.
"She told you she loved you please don't hold back for us," Christopher said softly as Juyeon stood straight and nervous. "I'm not going to give any excuses, or any apologies. Not Because you don't deserve them but because you need actions not words. I won't be registering Jubin as my daughter, your home can remain her main home," he said making Christopher tilt his head in surprise. "She is the most important person in my life, doesn't matter how many pony's I give her it's you guys she needs the most, and her mother obviously," he said short and simply before looking to you.
"I need actions not words from you too, because I think I've faced a life time of punishment from my actions when I was younger. Though I'm grateful for your support in making me a better person for our daughter. Thanks for admitting you loved me even though I know that was hard to admit to them too. He said before sloping back towards the wall as silence hit the room. "Why are you not chasing her Juyeon?" Christopher questioned. "Because Rome isn't built in a day, I'm not saying one day I won't build Rome with her. But today I'm not ready," he admitted before looking your way. "Even if I love her so badly it hurts like crazy," he adds as a tear escapes his eyes. "For fuck sake now I am mad, Y/N do you want to be with him," Changbin asked as you nodded. "Their you go mate, don't make me go through hell when you both love each other this much," he snapped with annoyance beneath his pain. "Like I said not today," he whispered as he made himself go towards the door.
"Sangyeon I know your watching this you've got your piece of entertainment now let us out," he snapped looking towards the corner of the room. Eyes snapping up, the camera still there showing them what was going on beneath the door. Opening the door Sangyeon looked at him guilty. "You're a fool if you walk away now," he groaned as he smiled his way. "A relationship can't be built on a burning building the fire has to settle before you can rebuild," he said tapping his shoulder. "Don't you love her?" Kevin's scoffed out. "I do, I love her more then I ever have, I'm doing this for her," he said stepping away down the stairs. "Even if you never see her again?" Kevin scoffs as he turns to face him with a slight look of horror in his face. "She promised she wouldn't run away, right?" He added looking at you. "I won't run away this time, he knows my number if he needs it," you said reaching the stairway as he looks up to you in pain before leaving. "Bloody fool that's what you are," Kevin yells out as your hand finds his shoulder. "Let him go, I think we all need a fresh new start," you said hating to admit how much your heart hurt from watching him walk away. "Sangyeon," you said as he looked your way with concern. "Where’s my actual stuff?" You questioned as Christopher walked into the hall way. "Don't blame him it was my idea the only way I could get everyone to talk," he said as he placed his hand on Sangyeon’s shoulder. "But I have your things back at home when your ready to come back and collect them you can," he said as you smiled his way. "Thanks but I don't think I'm ready just yet to see a home that's not my home no more," you said feeling reality hit you. "I would say come back but," , "No Christopher don't do this don't make yourself and Binnie experience worse pain. We all need this fresh start," you said as you rested your hand on his shoulder before looking to Kevin. "I want to go home can you take me please," you said with tears in your eyes as he nodded.
-------------------🔺-------------------
You drove to your new home with just the clothes on your back and your mobile, Just like you had six years prior. But you wasn't running away you was giving space to those you hurt. "Are you ok?" Kevin asked as you nodded silently. "Don't lie," he said as his hands gently patted your knee. "It hurts so badly, I don't want to leave them all," you cried letting the tears pour. Kevin pulled the car up and hugged you tightly. ------------------🔺--------------------
It had been six months and everything was beginning to settle in. You would drop Jubin to school on a Monday morning and collect her from school Friday afternoon while she spent two nights each with Changbin and Christopher and then Juyeon. Jubin would tell you and your father all about her time with her three dads. It was like she wasn't fazed that you didn't live with Christopher and Changbin anymore. You rarely saw or spoke to them unless it was about Jubin on the group chat. During the weeks you worked at a local cafe. Kevin and Haknyeon would pop in occasionally and you would enjoy drinking a coffee during your break. But both of them avoiding the topic of Juyeon. You missed him like crazy like their was a hole without him in your life. Most nights you went to bed miserable without him. -------------------🔺-------------------
It had been Jubin’s nativity play that got you all in the same room once more. Juyeon's hair was gelled back, and he looked much more confident again. His eyes were twinkling like he was in pure happiness. Though you had spoken just brief words as he sat beside you, Changbin and Christopher his brief but warm smile made your stomach fill with dread. Was he dating someone? You felt wrong for fearing it and being jealous, but your eyes fell to your hands. "I can't wait to see our beautiful pretty angel," Christopher said as you both looked at him so happy and excited to see her. "She's going to be the star of the show you watch," Juyeon said with pure pride that made you smile with a bitter sweet moment of content. How the unit was working perfectly for once.
She came out full of smiles and excitement when she noticed you all sat there. Changbin with his phone filming every second he could, Juyeon capturing the highlights with his as you and Christopher was content watching your little girl remember her lines. She was the most mini Juyeon she could be. When he went on stage at college he would perform with such charisma. Almost making any character come alive as if it wasn't him behind. You would watch in awe even before you were an item. So to see her show his acting skills was so warm to see. Clapping like crazy at the end that got loads of attention from the other parents put the biggest smile on her face. Changbin got to her first, swinging her in the air. "Oh Princess you were the biggest Angel their," he said with pride. "Daddy Bin I’m Mary not an Angel," she said pouting. "Well your my Angel," he scoffed as he placed her in Juyeon’s arms. The beautiful gesture between the two of whom once hated each other was warm to see. Christopher felt it too, placing his hand on your shoulder to smile warmly your way. "I’m your princess not an angel," she said in sass as Changbin grabbed her cheeks and placed a kiss on them. "Your both, and I'm so proud of you," Juyeon said pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Can we all have dinner together as I've been so good," she pleaded as Juyeon placed her on the floor. "Yes I think that's a great idea," Christopher said looking at you. You briefly looked Juyeon's way to see him contently nodding as you duplicated.
Sitting around the table you listen to Jubin tell all her story's from behind the scenes. "She's going to be an actress one day I’m certain," Christopher said to you as you looked at Juyeon. "Their was a time at college when people wanted Juyeon to be in the drama department," you said fondly that had him blush. "Daddy you use to be an actor?" Jubin asked as he looked down at her scuffing her hair. "Not quite baby, but yes I did a few theatre roles. But not as good as you though," he said as food was being placed down. "What was Daddy like at school,” Jubin asked as Christopher coughed, Juyeon eyes widened in fear. "Mummy probably can't remember it was that long ago," Changbin said before looking your way. "No i can remember," you said as Juyeon looked at you in pure fear. "He was liked, he had loads of friends like you, it's why you got some amazing Samchons," you smiled. "I wouldn't say Samchon Sunwoo’s amazing, he acts more like a child then Lily and she's a baby," she scoffed as you all laughed. "But Daddy was clever, and good at drama. He was amazing at Dance too, like Daddy has some good moves," you said as he blushed. "People even said he was part of the student committee president in elementary school and received the National Assemblyman's Commendation," you said watching Juyeon look at you in surprise. "Where did you hear that?" He questioned as you smirked his way. "Eric told me," you smiled back. "Why is it not true?" You asked as he looked at you with a glow on his face. "No it is true, just didn't know you did your research," he said surprised as you drank your Diet Coke. "Well I made note of all the positive things, I held on to those parts of you," you said letting him know that you had finally came to a place to forgive him.
You had spent several times on the phone with Eric asking about things he was like growing up so the bad memories were wiped. "Can't believe you quizzed my own best mate about me," he scoffed looking impressed. The dinner went well and you and Juyeon waved Jubin off as she went for her night with Christopher and Changbin. You shivered slightly as he took his jacket off and placed it around you. "Thanks," you said shyly. "Don't fall ill Y/N," he said wrapping your scarf around your chest properly. "I will try to not be ill," you said letting your cheek blush with his closeness. "How are you getting home?" He asked knowing the long distance back home. "I'm going to sleep at Haknyeon's, Kevin will take me and Jubin home tomorrow," you said feeling safe in Juyeon’s winter warms. "Have you rang him yet to come and get you?" He asked as you shook your head. "Fancy a coffee? Either at mine or at a cafe. I can drive you back to Haknyeon's house when your ready to go home." He said as you thought quietly.
"Coffee at yours sounds good," you said hoping for a much more private time. Jumping into the car the quick twenty minute drive sped through as you heard how he had fallen for Eric's baby Lily. That Eric would bring his daughter over each week for Jubin to hold. "She's such a sweetie, makes me appreciate Christopher and Changbin a lot more. But I also wish I was part of Jubin’s life at that age too," he said parking the car. "You sound so broody I'm surprised you haven't settled down already," you joked trying to avoid the topic of the past. "No when I have another baby, it will be when I find a perfect relationship. Right now their isn't anyone," he said turning the engine off. "No one at all?" You question as he smiles shaking his head. "Well that's a lie theirs one girl, but it's complicated," he admitted as your heart fell. You regretted the change of topic and wish you stuck with the past.
"What cakes you got to go with the coffee?" You questioned with another change of topic. "I got some ice cream I don't know if that's better or not," he said as you playfully rolled your eyes at him.
Putting your phone down from texting Haknyeon to take the coffee Juyeon made you. Juyeon returned to the freezer to get the tub of ice cream. Passing you it and the spoon he sat beside you. "Oooh Strawberry flavour," you said lightheartedly. "That's Jubin's, I will need to get her a new tub in the morning," he said watching you scoop a spoonful up. "So have you met anyone?" He asked as you shook your head putting the spoon in and enjoying the delight. "I think I've made too much of a mess of relationships," you admitted as he looked a little sad. "You know messes happen for a reason. It's for you to build yourself better, stronger so you can make the real relationships last," he said as he took a spoon and took some. "I know but what if I'm not ready for one yet. I never want to hurt anyone again," you admitted. "We're quite a pair, you won't have a relationship because you fear you will hurt the guy. The reason why I won't pursue mine is I'm scared that they will never trust me again," he said letting his eyes lock with yours. "Trust you again? Why what did you do?" You whispered feeling dread that their was someone in the last six months.
"You see I cheated on her," he admitted as your heart fell. Was he up to his old games? Is that what you did to him made him go backwards? "When I found her again and we slept together. I went and told her partners what we did. I acted irrationally, I don't even want to see it from her point of view that she was scared of losing her stability and I let her walk away," he added taking another scoop. "Now I'm scared she would never trust me not because I'm a cheat but because I abandoned her," he added placing it into your mouth as your words failed you. "All I wanted to do was reach out to her but the longer it went the harder it was," he said as he wiped the drop of ice cream off your lips. "Maybe she was waiting for the same? Maybe she was wishing every day you would call her," you said letting him know. "I would say she probably was a mess without him, filled with regret for the pain she caused," you said as his eyes watered hearing your words. "I love her so much not a single day has gone by when I haven't loved or missed her," he said cupping your face. "She will know how you feel, because she feels it too. By the way she does trust you, because you were young when you made the mistake. She understands why you wasn't ready to forgive her then. Plus he said Rome could be built another day," you said with your voice low. "Take her to Rome," you added as he bit his lower lip. "I can't," he said closing his eyes briefly. "Why not,” you tilted your head feeling deflated. "Because Rome came to me instead," he smiled as he pressed his lips to yours.
Your kiss was gentle, his lips kissing you moments before his tongue came to action. His hands placing yours under to move you to straddle him all without your lips parting. His hands after a while fall to your top as he helps to undress you. Lips falling onto your neck as he suckles against them marking blemishes. "You don't need to mark me I'm yours," you hiss and he chuckles. "I'm marking you Because your mine," he growls before biting in a little more harsher. "Fuck," you whimper despite your core throbbing enjoying his torture. Grabbing the ice cream he takes a spoon and feeds you as he takes one for himself. Without swallowing he takes his mouth to your nipple. The ice cream making your nipple cold and errect. He slides the ice cream that's now dribbling down you to the other nipple, repeating the same before swallowing what is left. Looking at the dribble mess of the melted treat he starts licking up your body.
His eyes on fire as they don't leave yours. "I think you should be my personal dessert," he says looking hungry your way. Standing up your hands wrestles with his T-shirt. "Patience baby?" He whispers flicking his finger in front of you. "But you have me almost naked," you whine as he smirks which has your breath stop in its tracks. "You're my dessert that's why. I'm going to lick the sweetness from you and then fuck you," he threatens with darkened eyes full of lust. Placing his hand against your chest he gently pushes you backwards so you're laying on the table, your legs dangling off. His lips find your skin above your navel as he helps to pull your bottoms off. Finger tips wresting above of the band of your pants as he slowly removes them. The warm sensation of his lips has your skin fill with goosebumps. Another spoonful of ice cream which has melted further gets dribbled all over your body. The mischievous smirk when he's engrossed using the mixture as if it's icing on a cake. When he's finished making a mess he removes his top and you almost feel like combusting. You’ve missed your favourite man's perfect body. Opening your thighs, he leans himself across letting some of the mixture brush over his skin. He doesn't care about being sticky as his tongue is too busy dragging the strip of dribbled ice cream on your chest towards the nipple, sucking each time his tongue makes a puddle. He continues following the stickiness till it reaches your heat.
Like he needs more he finds another spoonful dribbling right over your core as the anticipation has it clench around nothing. The flat of his tongue licks around your folds as he slurps the ice cream. Your body tingles as his tongue hits your clit that's burning with need. Soft moans escape as he flicks and suck at your sensitive bud. Hands fall to his hair as he plunges his tongue into your heat. "That feels so good," you whine grinding yourself against him. It doesn't take long for your coil to snap as your sure your juices splash against Juyeon's waiting mouth.
Standing up his jaw is glittering with your cum looking more intoxicating with the look of concupiscent in his eyes. Sitting up on the table your eyes take to his clear hard bulge in his pants. Cream all over his abs has you equally mouth watering. Standing to kiss him he gets lost in your mouth. But your impatient for more then his tongue and not soon later you depart to sink to your knees. "My turn," you say patting the seat for him to return to. Pulling his own bottoms down he smirks as he sits his cock resting heavily against his stomach. He shivers as your lips touch his thighs as you work kissing them up towards his abs. Lips in search for the ice cream smudges, you kiss, slurp but also press your own blemish marks upon his abs. Once you licked him clean which is a quicker job as he didn't have much on him, your hands holds the base of his cock. Pumping it briefly despite not needing help witnessing it red and angry. Wrapping your mouth around him he hisses as his stomach tenses. "Fuck," he cry's as you start a pace. Hands fondling his testicles helps to release a cry from him. As your tempo increases his need for release is chased further. Hips helping to buckle him deeper into your mouth as you start to gag on him.
It's like it spurs him on more seeing tears start to form in your eyes. "Fuck Y/N this is so hot," he whimpered as his hand falls behind your head to help your mouth take more as it sinks to his public bone. Your sure your oxygen is being taking from you with each drag of your head along him. Your no longer in control, it's all him as his thighs begin to shake before he removes you from him. Spluttering as the air hit your lungs you look at him dazed when he was so close.
"You on the pill?" He asks as you shake your head. Grabbing you by his hands up he scoops you over his shoulders as he takes you to his room before placing you on the bed.
Walking to his draw he opens a pack of condoms ripping the foil with his teeth as he looks back at you. "I want you as my wife before we try for another one," he says with ownership. "Is that a proposal Lee Juyeon," you teased as he looks at you cockily. "Y/N You'll know when I propose trust me, but it's a promise that one day I will make you my wife," he says with the deepest of desire in his features.
Lips falling back to you as he places his condom on himself, The only signs left of his fuck boy days. Dragging yourself to the middle of the bed his lips follows and his hands which are at the side of your waist. After a couple of pumps he flicks one leg behind his waist before slowly easing himself in. Walls stretching around him pulls moans as he looks down at you with a besotted but heavenly look. "Your mine right Y/N," he pleads with desperation. "Yes Juyeon, I'm yours and your mine, this is our second chance for us both," you said with desperation in your tone for a brand new start. "I fucking love you Y/N," he says before locking his fingers with yours. "I love you too Lee Juyeon," you said tightening your grip with his.
With that his slow pace starts, it's like his dick is dragging slow and torturous in you. But you know it isn't just to break you, it's to stop him from exploding himself so soon. You soon become needy and start meeting his thrusts. Your walls deliberately clamping around him like he's a whip to a horse to get it to go faster, which works just like that. "Fuck Y/N calm down I won't last long," he admits which has you chuckle. "We got all night right or can't you do it all night long any more in your old age," you mock as he rolls his tongue along his gums in fake annoyance. "Are you sure you're the one that can keep up?" He query's. "Well let's see who folds first," he dares his eyes excited before his pace increases. It's like he’s chasing his own high desperate to prove he can keep his stamina, and his ability to recover all night long. It's not long till his cock which is hitting your cervix has you screaming his name like a mantra. Your walls pulling out his as he fills the condom.
It was a small taster of the night to come as you continued to make love, fuck and torture each other till the birds break morning. ------------------🔺-------------------- "You look beautiful," Kevin said admiring you as you smiled his way. "You mean I scrub up well," you said showing off as you twirl. "You scrub up more then well," Haknyeon said turning you to face the full view mirror. He was right you was almost unrecognisable in your wedding dress. Today was the day you was getting married. You was finally making a family for your children. You was so blessed and so in love that you couldn't wait to see the very people dearest to you. "Mummy," Jubin said running behind you in her beautiful bridesmaid's dress. "Don't you look a stunner princess," you smile besotted. It's then Hyunjae walks in holding the most beautiful little toddler in his arms. Your hands reach out to hold the little mite, but Hyunjae grip stays strong keeping you parted. "He needs his dad, he needs changing," Hyunjae said chuckling with his nose wrinkled. "Well their getting changed right now, surely you can do it being his godfather and everything," Kevin scoffs as Hyunjae scowls his way. "Do I look like a dad, I'm the fun crazy uncle for a reason," he scoffs as the toddler wiggles desperate to get to you. "Come here, this uncle can be responsible and fun," Kevin groans as he scoops the bundle up and takes him to change him. "You have to hold your brother’s hand very dearly," you say cupping Jubin’s face. "I'm a good Nuna," Jubin complains as if you've insulted her. "I know just he may be a little overwhelmed, their's a lot of people out there," you said pressing a kiss to her forehead. A knock goes on the door and your stomach gets the wildest butterfly's. You know that means Changbin and Christopher are ready. "I thought you said you wasn't nervous," Hyunjae says amused at the change of your demeanour.
"I'm not, just it's taken a lot, an awful lot to get here," you said as Haknyeon held his hands to you. "Then for what it's worth let every second of today be enjoyed," he said squeezing that made you smile widely. "Are you going to make them wait, Changbin is looking like he wants to run out there," Kevin said coming back into the room as he placed him on the floor. Jubin held his hand lovingly as you cherished looking at them both. "Come on let's get you married," Kevin said holding his hand out to you as you took it nervously
Changbin almost breaks down the second he sees you dressed in your wedding dress. But he holds his emotions in tightly. "My baby mama," he cries as you deadpan his way. You never have got use to his new name for you. ---------------------🔺----------------
Juyeon had suggested so that Jubin had a biological connection to any siblings Changbin and Christopher had, that you be an egg donor for them. It had been weird seeing your own features in a little bundle that you had not carried or had any legal rights over. But Bang Changyu like Jubin only shared your dimples and cute nose. He was 100%Christopher's biological son. You realised in a second how it felt to wait for news on a child that was biologically yours but was being carried by a surrogate. You wasn't his mother, you were his Aunt, that had been very weird to settle into. One weekend a month you would have Changyu too to let them have them time. Juyeon had gone from their enemy to now a close friend of theirs. As a family you had enjoyed many holidays Jubin loved every second of her blended family. -------------------🔺-------------------
Today was the day you were marrying Juyeon but also Changbin was marrying Christopher. It was why Changbin looked a nervous wreck ready to bolt at any moment. But seeing you in your dress had pulled him to a pure mess. "Your so beautiful," he whimpered as Hyunjae tossed him a hanky. You didn't have much time to console him as your father took one look and started sobbing too. "Wow just wow Y/N," he said looking proud. "Right are you both ready?” Kevin said looking at you both as you nodded.
Hyunjae gave Changbin away as your father did the same with you. You could hear Changbin silently sobbing to himself as his eyes had found Christopher who looked a worse mess then him. Minho was consoling him and then his head turned to his right as he placed his hand to console the other groom.
Lee Juyeon had some tears falling down his most beautiful face. He looks so stunning in his grooms fitting. His beautiful eyes wet was totally engrossed with you and the look of besottedness made yourself become emotional. Your memories of your engagement flooding you as you made your way towards him.
------------------🔺--------------------
Jacob had asked you to come meet him and Lia for lunch and instead you found Juyeon. He was so nervous he was jumbling his words you thought he was telling you he was ill. But when he took to his knee, ring and a red rose in his hand you sobbed and straight away agreed. Juyeon kissed your tears of joy as well as your lips.
You found the sweet gesture, that Christopher and Changbin with newborn Changyu and Jubin, was hiding by the side had come to help set it up. A moment that made you realise that the life you had now was so much more content. -----------------🔺---------------------
"Hi wife," Juyeon giggled like a school child when you reached him. But his reaction when you said hello husband had you chuckle loudly. He looked like he would faint. Your wedding day was perfect, marrying him putting everything bad to bed was so rewarding. But what you couldn't wait for was to get him to the hotel room.
Up their you handed him two boxes two different sizes. He looked at you puzzled as you chuckled his way. "Their gifts, it's my wedding present to you," you smirked his way as he looked a little sad. "I didn't get you anything though," he scoffed as you chuckled. "The smaller gift is also kind of from you," you said with excitement. Dashing to the smaller box he opens it like a excited child on Christmas Day. But one glance and he drops it looking at it like it froze him to an ice cube.
"You're not," he gasps out barely audible. "Ready for baby number two?" You smirk as he looks at you with pure fear in his eyes. "How are we going to consummate tonight?" He cries in shock. "It's fine and safe to have sex I promise you," you said as he looked at you not sure. "But I knew that would be your response, so box number two," you said looking at the larger box. "I won't find a flashlight in there?" He asked eyes widened. "Just open it," you ordered him as he opened it with apprehension. "Really I don't think so, I want the pink not the brown, you’re my wife not a ho," he said with amusement but concern. Especially as the last time you ran from him. You chuckled watching him look at the box of Anal toys in fear.
"I'm fine I've been training, look," you said pulling your wedding dress up, lowering your pant to bend over. Showing the sparkly anal plug resting between your cheeks. Head tilted with amusement and bewilderment he looks stunned. "So your horny pregnant wife is ready for you to take in your favourite position," you wink as he stutters totally stumped. "You are amazing you know that Y/N, you're perfect and all mine," he said as his hand falls to your stomach.
"We're having a baby?" He asks like it's slowly sunk in. "Yes this time we get to do this together," you whisper as you kiss the falling excited tear from his cheek. "I love you so much, I'm never letting you go again," Juyeon promises as his kisses slip to yours. It's a promise that you don't even doubt because by your bad past you've both finally grew to better versions of yourselves.
Sometimes you have to make mistakes to grow.
Player in danger
#kpop smut#kpopidol#fiction#the boyz smut#stray kids smut#lee juyeon smut#seo changbin smut#Christopher bang smut#moon Kevin#ju haknyeon#lee sangyeon#lee hyunjae#jacob bae#lee minho#shin ryujin#choi jisu#hwang yeji#kim sunwoo#sohn eric#hwang hyunjin
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that's him, that's just who he is | the boyz series masterlist
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction
lee sangyeon 🥭
jacob bae 🍐
kim younghoon 🍞
lee jaehyun | hyunjae 🎁
lee juyeon 🐱
kevin moon 🌙
choi chanhee | new 🐧
ji changmin | q 🐿️
ju haknyeon 🍊
kim sunwoo 🦝
eric sohn 🦄
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction
tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️
#deoboyznet#k-labels#k-films#the boyz fanfic#the boyz x reader#the boyz x you#the boyz imagines#tbz x reader#tbz fanfic#the boyz fluff#tbz fluff#tbz scenarios#the boyz angst#tbz angst#tbz x y/n#tbz x you#jacob bae#kevin moon#new tbz#eric sohn x reader#younghoon x reader#juyeon x reader#sunwoo x reader#q tbz#choi chanhee x reader#eric sohn#lee sangyeon#jacob tbz#jacob the boyz#sunwoo imagines
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“our secret moments in your crowded room, they got no idea about me and you.”
genre: slight angst (not that angst, younghoon just acting cold towards y/n), suggestive, fwb
pairing: kim younghoon (tbz) x female reader (y/n)
summary: younghoon is known for his tsundere image, surprisingly becoming the other students’ favourite senior despite being so cold and quiet to everyone. other than his tough and unapproachable demeanour, he’s also known for being the smartest one in his batch. most people have been confessing their feelings to him, but he rejected all of them, causing a rumour claiming that he has a high standard on his partner. little did they know, he developed a friends-with-benefits relationship with the most innocent looking 1st year student, y/n.
part i, ii, iii.
words count: 2,151
the day unexpectedly went well– as far as you thought it would be.
you just came back from the campus library to push yourself to have an early revision so you won’t have to pull all nighter on the few days before finals. you headed to the nearby vending machine, thinking that you probably deserve a can of green tea, your favourite drink.
as you bent down to grab the can once the dropping sound of a tin heard, you grabbed the energy drink out and stood on your feet again. once you turned your back to the vending machine, the appearance of a familiar figure was standing close to you, resulting in you letting out a cuss word.
“oh? thought you didn’t know how to curse,” the teasing voice echoed more on your left ear, as you looked up to glare at him.
kim younghoon, the 2nd year student in your department. you didn’t know much about him at first, since he barely shows up at any of the parties or events your department held, not even the newcomers party. the first time you met him was when you attended your senior’s birthday party, jacob bae. jacob’s 26th birthday was held at a nightclub (quite an unexpected place you must say considering how pure looking he was during the newcomers party), and he invited some of his friends. you were surprisingly invited since you teamed up with him during the newcomers party and even after the get-together, you encountered him for a pretty large amount of time. same class, same club, and even same neighbourhood. assuming that you accepted him as a new friend of his, he decided to invite you to his birthday party.
there, you met the most breathtaking eye candy you’ve ever seen in your whole life. quite a metaphor because you’ve seen few attractive people too before, but that’s literally how you felt when you first met kim younghoon. you were hoping for him to interact with him even though you didn’t try to do the first move, and as expected, he didn’t– not until jacob decided to introduce you to him.
the future didn’t promise you anything right after you exchanged a few introductions with younghoon, the future didn’t even let you prepare for whatever came between you both. the least you would expect was waking up on a bed, naked, next to the kim younghoon. it was supposed to end that day. the whatever-one-night stand you both had, it was supposed to end that day.
not when younghoon decided to reach for you, apologising for his drunken behaviour and claiming that it wasn’t supposed to happen at all. and as a normal thinking human being, you should’ve just accepted his apology and move on. but no, in fact, both of you spent the night together once again for god knows the reason why. that’s when both of you agreed to continue whatever the relationship both of you currently have, let’s just say it’s a friends-with-benefits type in this modern world.
it surely benefits you in some ways, yet, it didn’t in some parts. it hurts you when you can’t even say a simple ‘hi’ to younghoon when both of you meet in public, as he wished for you to not interact with him at all. you knew that the relationship both of you had were purely for benefits only, but where were the friends part? at least you wanted to brag off how you were able to interact with the most mysterious senior in the campus.
that was what he requested you to do so, to not interact with him in public but oh well, look who just started a conversation with you, in the middle of the campus, out of nowhere, without any notice.
“huh?” was all you could say after all the confusion over his first second time talking with you in public. earning a half-hearted laugh from the latter, he added, “you must have been studying.”
this is one of the few scenarios where you hate younghoon. he knows you so well, probably more than you could. you never know when it starts but whenever you finish studying, you’ll always reward yourself with any type of green tea drink. let it be matcha smoothie, green tea boba, or anything in general. realising that younghoon managed to remember such small details from you, you couldn’t help but to fall for him.
“finals are nearing so i have to,” you answered in a calm tone, not wanting the young man to see the real you beneath the calm and innocent expression you fixed on your face. it was never a good idea to look at him again, as the pair of dominant eyes staring down at you, as if the act alone is enough to recall all the steamy nights you both had before. immediately breaking off the eye contact, you excused yourself, “i have a class to attend.”
“oh, cool. i’m attending the class as well.”
it came out as a surprise to you because you never mention your class schedule to him so he most likely wouldn’t know what class you’re going to attend. and most of all, it’s a class compulsory for the first year students only. so younghoon being the second year student who probably had taken the class last year, shouldn’t have been tagging you along.
you didn’t really know how to respond so you just replied with a, “sure..?” before heading to the class with younghoon next to you. as he walked next to you, you probably didn’t notice it but he actually quite admires the way you walk, and how attractive your body is. as if his eyes are enough to strip you naked.
once younghoon pulled the door open for both of you, it’s a clear notice when all of the students inside the class turned to stare at you (most likely younghoon). why would they look at you both? no, the correct question is, why would the kim younghoon attend the class? the cold senior? and most importantly, with you? it was a pairing that came out as an unexpected one.
younghoon then took a seat close to you, as if it was a promise to keep you close to him. you didn’t understand why he acts differently today, as far as you believe that he hates interacting with someone he doesn’t consider close with. the only people you’ve seen him sitting next to were probably jaehyun and jacob only. apart from those two, he usually prefers sitting alone.
now that he sat next to you, you surely can’t believe the reality that was happening. as you tried to shrug it off alongside with the uncomfortable glares by the students who probably got rejected by younghoon, you took out the tab from your tote bag and prepared yourself for the class. well, you were sitting next to kim younghoon, of course everyone would be jealous.
the class started once the lecturer came in, giving a quick exam tip before starting on the revision for his students who will sit for his exam by next week. the revision went by slowly, some had their mouths opened for yawns and some even fell asleep on the table. it’s the same to you, however you tried your best to keep yourself awake. who knows? in the midst of the revision, the lecturer might accidentally leak a question from the exam so the least you want to do is fall asleep and miss the golden opportunity.
contrary to the young man sitting next to you, he didn’t even bother focusing on the class. no, he shouldn’t have. why should he? he had taken the class already. hence, he just kept looking at you and he sometimes took a quick, small look at your exposed thighs and legs.
before wearing any outfit, you will check the weather first. the weather forecast claimed that it’ll be a very hot day so instead of suffocating yourself to death by wearing a thick hoodie and long baggy pants, you decided to wear your regular summer dress with your crochet cardigan. at least you didn’t have to come out looking too revealing for a casual class.
in an opportunity such a case where he can frequently tease you through physical contact in a subtle way, he would sometimes stretch his legs underneath the table, touching his leg with yours. your breath hitched once you felt your exposed leg brushed with his, trying your best to ignore it as you thought it probably came out a mistake from him.
no, it wasn’t at all. instead, he moved his leg even closer to yours. your both legs were practically touching each other by now. realising this was just another teasing game the older decided to pull in the middle of the class, you turned to face him, but not daring enough to look him in the eyes. “er.. younghoon?” you called him out in a rather soft and quiet tone, not wanting to disturb the class.
moving his head towards you with the sly smile of his, he quietly asked back, “what is it?” he didn’t move his leg at all. he wanted to mess with you a bit more. knowing damn well the reason why you called him out as you wanted his leg out of your place. he refused to, or at least, only when he felt like it.
“c.. can you move your leg?” you asked him once again in a quieter and softer tone. “it keeps pressing against mine,” you added, hoping the latter would understand your choice of words. truth be told, you didn’t even want him to move his leg away. the feeling of his skin against yours never fails to skip your heart a beat. though, you knew in fact the reason why he did so was only to tease you, not because he likes you. in a clear and harsh understanding, he was just messing with your feelings.
“hmm… no.” younghoon said with a smirk, as he moved his leg even closer to yours. he was starting to enjoy this situation quite a lot, and seeing how you tried to stay calm in front of so many people made it even fun for him.
taking a deep breath, you knew that younghoon would never move. you knew that once he made up with his mind, he wouldn’t even bother to change it. let alone if it involves a alive-or-death situation.
biting the inner of your lower lips, you prevented yourself from not letting out any reaction that younghoon would like to see. the one that he desires and desperates enough to see, to boost his ego. you wouldn’t give in to his stupid teasing game. even if you could feel the wetness on your undergarment, you tried your best to brush it off. you wish to not look like a whore in heat in a room full of people, not when you are just a first year student. you worked so hard to maintain your pure innocent looking image, you don’t want your remaining years in the campus being known as someone who got horny in the middle of a class.
oh how easy it could be if the stupid gorgeous looking man could stop his game. but no, instead, he proceeded on making more moves on you. noticing the slight twitching from your body, he knew his teasing worked. he smiled a bit after having a thought that would annoy you more. he slowly started to rub his leg against yours, from thigh down to your knee, keeping it at a subtle enough angle so other people wouldn’t notice anything.
“y-younghoon… please.” oh, how badly he wanted to swallow down his favourite begging sound of yours that mixed with whines. how badly he wanted to just take you there, in the middle of the class, where people would finally see the dirty you. how badly he wanted to detach the innocent smile away from your face so the public knows what a slut you are for him.
younghoon then looked at you, whose facial expressions were mixed with nervousness, annoyance, and arousement, all at once. he then gave a little mischievous smirk before removing his leg away from yours, “there~” he said in a sarcastic tone.
“now, what were you saying?” younghoon’s gaze glanced at you in an innocent-like manner.
finally letting out a relief sigh, you were glad for now that his leg was no longer touching yours. at least. looking up to face the smug face of younghoon’s, you glared at him and cursed at him in the middle of your gritted teeth, “fuck you.” at this moment, you realised it was a big deal if you didn’t accept his request to tag along to the class.
“oh sweetheart, i would gladly fuck you.”
#the boyz#tbz#kim younghoon#younghoon#the boyz smut#tbz smut#younghoon smut#the boyz fics#tbz fics#younghoon fics#the boyz x reader#tbz x reader#younghoon x reader#the boyz hard hours#tbz hard hours#younghoon hard hours#the boyz suggestive#tbz suggestive#younghoon suggestive#the boyz imagines#tbz imagines#younghoon imagines
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