#jack in this is just. so fucking fruity

[krak-house]

Black Sails is being yeeted off Hulu in 8 days and i have exactly 2 days off in that time so guess who's binging the angry pirate show as quickly as possible?

[thinkinonsense]

i just listened to sabrina's new album and oh my god the song slim pickins is such a song that was written from daydreaming about lumberjack!logan, oh and the recent fic that you reblogged was just so yummy and perfect for that song especially the lyrics "a boy who's jacked and nice" like god having to settle down for less because nobody can be him 😭😭😭 need him expeditiously im afraid

it's slim pickins

lumberjack!logan howlett x fem!reader

cw: yearning!! fluff, tiny nsfw conversation (nothing graphic)

a/n: this request couldn't have come in at a better time because i'm seeing sabrina on opening night of her tour tomorrow night!! <3

masterlist

"am i just destined to be alone forever?"

another friday night in the hole in the wall bar outside of town. another date gone horribly wrong. your question hangs heavy in the air as you gossip to your best friend who's bartending tonight.

"you keep picking douche bags." she answers without missing a beat.

"well, that's fuckin' rude." you slur slightly, sipping on your third fruity drink tonight.

"well, it's fuckin' true." she smiles, looking over your shoulder at a group of men that walked in. "why don't you go talk to one of them? they look hot."

you spin around in your stool to see a group of lumberjack workers. these were the men that you worked with, you can't flirt with them.

"i work with those guys!" you hiss.

"sooo...?" she smirks.

both of you quickly end the conversation with the five guys approach the bar. the last thing you needed was for these guys to see the desperate and pathetic look on your face. quickly, you rummage through your purse for some cash to put down.

"what are you doing here, doll face?" a familiar voice asks.

you look up and see the most handsome of the men, in front of you; logan. twice your size, buff, toned, tan... god, you had such a crush on him. never in a million years would you go after him though, he's too good to want a girl like you. you were just a friend. he make small talk with you, laughed at your jokes, calls you little nicknames, and refills the coffee pot for you but thats what friends do, right?

"oh... um, i'm just-"

"she's been sitting here moaning and bitching to me all night about her horrible date." your best friend smiles then introduces herself to logan with a handshake.

"thanks asshole." you mumble under your breath at her, making logan chuckle.

"tough night?" he asks, looking down at you in a way that makes heat rises up your face.

"kinda, but i'll save you all the gory details." you admit, sliding off the tall stool a little ungracefully. "have a good night, logan."

"wait, doll face." he says, grabbing your arm to balance you. "wanna talk about it? i'm sure your friend here is busy."

the alcohol let him take you to one of the booths. all the other men noticed logan and you sitting together, definitely making mental notes to tease you both on monday.

"so, what's on your mind?" logan asks, taking a swig of his beer.

"it's nothing really..." your mouth says one thing but your phone says another; practically buzzing off the table.

"you sure?" he raises a brow.

"uh... yeah?" you sound confused as you peak at the notification. an annoyed groan falls from your lips as you slam the phone back down and sink into the booth. "why? why? why?"

"why what?" he squints.

"be honest, do i have dumbass written on my forehead?" you sigh, hazily looking over at logan. the question threw him off guard; unsure if you're joking or not.

"no." he answers.

" well, i sure feel like one. every guy i've gone out with is either the most obnoxious asshole i've ever met who's still hung up on his ex or he's absolutely perfect but he's just not ready for a commitment right now? what the fuck does that even mean?"

all of your drunk rambling surprised logan. at work, he's only seen your shy personality as you scribble down numbers and log them into spreadsheets. this was a completely different side of you.

"i know what you're thinking, 'why not just try dating a woman?'. well, i fucking would if this town wasn't stuck in the 50's, except the men aren't going to war in order to get away from you, instead they just run back in between their ex's thighs and pull that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."

it was getting harder for logan not to crack at your silly yet, adorable expressions as you rant.

"and the worst part is that they can't even get a woman to orgasm." you say a little quieter. logan stores that quote in his pocket for another time. "a few weeks ago, i literally had a man in my bed who didn't know the difference between their, there, and they're! i don't know who's stupider, him for not knowing or me for letting him give me the worst head in my life."

if you were even a little sober, this would be mortifying. sitting in front of your work crush and spilling pathetic details of your love life to him. if you were even a little sober, you would have notice his eyes turn dark and lustful under the dim bar lighting. logan couldn’t fathom that you were having trouble in your love life.

"sounds like it's slim pickins out there."

"you have no idea." you sigh.

"if it makes you feel any better, i don't think that you're stupid."

"you're just saying that to be polite. trust me, everyone thinks i'm an idiot for taking these guys back every time. im just like my mom, my sisters, my friends, and every other girl i know. we make up excuses for their shitty behavior because we are afraid to be alone."

logan could see tears forming in your waterline, about to roll down your cheek. it hurt him to see you so heartbroken over these losers. everyday at work, you came in like a ray of fucking sunshine. you didn't deserve to be treated like this.

"it's not your fault that those asshole don't know how to treat a woman." he sighs, leaning forward in an attempt to comfort you.

"i know, i know..." your voice was cracking and you didn't want logan to see you so vulnerable. suddenly, you rise from the booth. "thanks for listening, logan."

"where do you think you're going, doll face?" he asks, following you out the door.

"should head home." you mumble, pulling up the number of a car service about twenty minutes out.

"let me give you a ride home." he offers. "you've been drinking too much."

it's late, you're exhausted and heartbroken so, you let him help you into his truck. it's kinda old but full of character, like logan.

"what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" logan asks, breaking the silence in the car. "still sad?"

you shrug. "think i'm just going to become a nun."

he tried, he really did, but he had to laugh.

"sweetheart, there's no need to become a nun."

"well, i'm never going to find the man i'm looking for so, might as well join the sisterhood."

"what are you looking for in this dream man?"

logan's question has your eyes wondering over to where his left hand sets on the wheel and his right on thigh. the images of what his hands could do flood your fuzzy mind.

"j-just a good guy who's um, who's kind, jacked... respectful, good with his hands...."

it was shameless, your staring that is. logan worried you might get drool on the car seat, not that he would mind.

"hm... those seem like simple requirements there."

"apparently not." you giggle. "it's fine, though. i'm sure the nuns will be friendly."

"still thinking about joining the 'sisterhood'?" he asks, pulling up to your drive way.

"maybe... i'll give it twenty-four hours and if he doesn't come knocking on my door, i'll just buy a chasity belt and go off the grid with the nuns." your smile warmed his cold bitter heart. "thanks for the ride, lo. i'll see you monday."

as logan watches you fumble with your keys and make your way inside, he fights an internal battle over his feelings. he has had a crush on you since the day the two of you first met. by the end of the week, you had baked him some cupcakes, babbling about how you do this for all the new employees, which was far from the truth he later learned.

you captured his heart. even when he tried to burry his feelings for you, when logan looked at you, his world stood still for a moment. he looked forward to all your silly jokes in the break room or the ridiculous gossip you would tell him when he lingered outside of your office door. he couldn't let you slip away into the arms of another asshole who didn't deserve you.

before logan could comprehend what he was doing, his feet lead him up to your door, knocking twice. the wooden door opened and he knew he made the right decision.

there you were in your light blue and grey plaid pajamas with a cupcake in your hand and vanilla frosting on your bottom lip. logan had never seen you look prettier.

"hey? did i leave something in the–"

in the blink of an eye, logan’s hands reach up to caress your jaw, leaning in until his mouth engulfs yours. the taste of vanilla and alcohol surrounded both of you. forgetting the cupcake in your hand, dropping it to reach up and pull logan closer. kissing him was like drinking a glass of wine after a long day. no more stress or anxiety over anyone else’s bullshit. the two of you gasp against each others lips, catching your breath.

“i could be the good guy, you know?” logan pants, now forever addicted to your taste. “i could be the good guy for you.”

your heart fluttered as you stared up at his pretty hazel eyes, twirling a piece of his hair around your finger. this had to be a very realistic dream, thats the only answer to this.

“you would do that for me, logan?” your delicate voice could bring him to his knees, worshiping the ground you walk on.

“i would do anything for you, honey.” he whispers, leaning back in to kiss you again. maybe your dream guy wasn't as far away as you thought?

[shares-a-vest]

Eddie reaches for Steve's fruity-scented shampoo - the stuff he swears he hasn't been using each and every time he stays over. He pops the cap and then the lights go out.

He screams bloody murder and drops the shampoo bottle. He kicks it and presses his palms against the nearest surfaces. One on the tiled wall, the other on the glass as he does everything to stop himself from moving his feet because, if he trips on that fucking fruity shampoo that makes Steve's hair oh-so-silky, he'll go slipping and sliding straight through the glass and into the goddamn toilet.

And he cannot die like that, buck-naked as the day he was born.

Though, if he absolutely had to die in the nude, he'd want it to be while he's railing someone six ways from Sunday...

Preferably the hunk who is bursting in through the bathroom door and waving a flashlight right in his eyes.

Steve opens the shower and reaches in to shut off the water. Eddie palms around and grips his boyfriend's wrist, impossibly warm despite now being wet.

"Are you... uh..." Steve drops the light enough from him to stop spluttering about. Eddie blinks hard, regaining enough focus to find a sly smile tugging at the corner of Steve's lips as he attempts to be serious, "Um, are you okay?"

Alright, maybe falling head-first into the toilet would have been a little less embarrassing than this: Steve staring back at him and snickering. He cups his junk and grumbles.

"Towel?" he spits, holding out one hand.

"Sorry," Steve says as he hands the brown (seriously, why do the Harrington's enjoy brown so much) towel over, "It's just you looked like you were in the middle of some naked jumping-jacks."

"Stevie, I was terrified," he retorts, drying off his arms and hands first so he can get a better grip on anything so he can safely get out of the damn shower before it becomes a fogged-up glass tomb.

But Steve places the flashlight tight under one arm and spots him, hovering one hand and placing the other on his dripping wet hip.

"I know," he soothes, now completely serious, "I was scared too."

Eddie doesn't care that he is mostly wet and that his hair is completely soaked, he goes right into Steve's strong arms, feeling his navy-blue sweater quickly dampen between them. Steve maneuvers around to stop their bodies from completely blocking their light source and hugs him tight.

"So stupid," Eddie can't help but mutter, "How am I more scared of the fucking dark than I was when I was six? Besides, how do you even lose power out here in Richie Richville?"

"Well, considering this house is surrounded by trees," Steve shrugs, "We lose power quite easily in bad weather," he pulls back enough to give a dangerously-teasing smirk considering Eddie's state of undress, "Thought you'd enjoy some candles and what-not, anyway. Doesn't Bilbo Baggins scurry around his cottage with a candlestick?"

Now it's Eddie's turn to move away as he hurriedly wraps the towel around himself - to protect his modesty. Yeah... that.

"Excuse me?" he exclaims, "He lives in a Hobbit hole, for one. And I'll have you know his home is well-lit."

"Come on!" Steve scoffs, rolling his eyes and taking his hand.

He leads them back into his bedroom, which at least has some moonlight peaking in from the windows. And yeah, now Eddie can really hear the source of the power outage. The wind outside and the trees that shroud Loch Nora sound like a goddamn tornado.

"Though I think Rivendell surely must have had some sort of electricity," he wonders aloud as he attempts to focus on something else.

"We can debate the infrastructure of Middle Earth later," Steve chuckles and promptly shoves a pair of sweatpants into his hands.

Eddie steps forward, smiling bashfully.

"You mean it?" he coos, biting the 't'.

Steve's eyes flick to his lips as he bites his own, "I can think of a few things we could do that don't involve the power being on."

Eddie opens his mouth, readying himself for a lame line about their palpable electricity that will probably make Steve laugh when the damn radio crackles.

If a physical object could be a boner-killer, it's the damn radio Steve currently has attached to his hip.

"Steeeve is the power out at your house, overrr!" Dustin screeches the moment Steve fishes it from his back pocket.

"Yes, over," Steve answers. He holds a finger up, silently asking Eddie to wait as they make no attempt to move an inch from each other's personal space, "I'mfine-okaygoodbye!"

He clicks the radio off completely and tosses it on his dresser, paying no mind to the fact it sends his Little League trophy toppling onto the carpet.

[sc0tters]

Needy | Luke Hughes

summary: you and Luke have been at the lake house for a few days now and what happens when Luke realises that he can’t last as long as he thought he could with the sight of you in a bikini?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, oral (m receiving), swearing.

word count: 1.35k

authors note: is it wrong of me to say that I totally forgot about this request..? no but seriously I had no clue how to write this prompt for anyone, especially Luke so I’ve just made him a horny teen lmao. hope you enjoy it!

Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

It had been the longest week of his life at the lake house. Your outfits only seemed to comprise of your swimsuits and his shirts. He swore that he had been so well behaved keeping his hands off of you.

But there was something about the sight of you in some random unbuttoned baseball jersey -that you had of course stolen from Luke- as you ate some watermelon that you just helped Ellen cut up Luke felt himself break.

His swim trunks began to tighten as he watched the watermelon juice drip down your chin “you want some?” You asked as you pointed the piece of fruit in his direction.

Luke’s cheeks turned flushed as he thought you had caught on to what he was thinking “huh?” He coughed ignoring how you raised your eyebrows at him.

You smiled as the boy ran his fingers along your leg “asked if you wanted some of this,” you explained as you brought your lips back to the piece of fruit so that you could take a bite from it before you pointed it back at your boyfriend.

The hockey player had to pull you on to his lap before he even thought about eating that watermelon. With his brothers and their friends walking around the porch Luke couldn’t have any of them seeing the boner that he was currently sporting “Luke!” You squealed as you let out a laugh.

He brushed the hair out of your face as he let his fingers trail down to your chin “should I take that as a no?” A giggle fell from your lips as you took another bite of the fruity.

Luke couldn’t help it with he let out a groan “I want to eat something much more tasty,” he explained as he brought your lips to his own.

The kiss was needy as his tongue dragged over your lower lip causing you to groan “can I maybe not have to watch this?” Jack complained as he walked out to see that you had dropped what was left of your watermelon on the porch.

You pulled away from Luke as your cheeks turned warm “sorry,” you were quick to apologise as your hands wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck.

The middle Hughes brother gagged when his brother move his lips to your neck “could you not do this out here?” The forward whined causing Luke to smirk “wanna go for a ride?” The younger boy asked as you as he cocked his head.

You had finally caught on to what he was implying as your mouth formed an o shape “Luke!” You gasped as you slapped your hand over your mouth.

Thankfully for him Jack had walked away fearing that he would hear anything more “I’m not letting you fuck me on the boat.” You shook your head letting your thighs clench around your boyfriends lap.

It made him smile “my room then? He proposed letting his fingers drag along your thigh.

Luke let out a laugh “you’re so naughty,” you whined when he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek “only for you.” The boy murmured as he moved his lips to your ear “I want you right here.” He left a kiss on the shell of your ear “right now.” That was when you knew he had won.

The mental coin toss was one that you had given up on minutes ago “let’s go upstairs then.” You mumbled as you grabbed his hand trying to pull him up.

It stroked Luke’s ego like there was no tomorrow “now you’re the one who’s eager.” He teased you as the two of you made your way into the house.

The boys watched in amusement as Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders “maybe we should go for a ride?” Cole proposed as he could tell where this was clearly going to go.

It caused you to flip him off “go get some pookie!” Trevor cheered before all of the boys followed the oldest Hughes boy out of the house.

You two barely made it into his room before he pushed you onto the bed “we should probably play something.” You gasped as your boyfriends lips went to your neck, you grabbed your phone as you tried to find a playlist that could be loud enough. Whilst everyone was out of the house you still didn’t want to be caught.

The boy nodded as he fiddled with the ends of the jersey. He loved seeing you in his clothes but he loved seeing you in even less “want you to be my good little girl.” Luke cooed when he pulled at the string of your bottoms.

You groaned as you tried to get up “got something else in mind first,” you smiled as you looked up at him due to the sheer difference in height.

It was now the hockey players turn to be confused “yeah?” He mumbled as he waited for you to continue your line of speech.

Letting your fingers run over the waist band of his swim trunks you smiled as you kissed him “seems like you’ve been thinking about this for a while,” you pointed out as you motioned down to the boner that he was currently dealing with.

All that Luke could do was nod as you pulled his shorts down “want to make you feel good,” you murmured as you dropped to your knees.

As unintentional as it might have been you truly didn’t remember the last time you gave him a blow job as you two were far more fond of actual sex rather than the foreplay, it’s what happened when you were impatient college kids.

You let your tongue provide these little kitten licks that drew a loud groan from his lips “don’t tease me please,” Luke begged as his hands wrapped around your hair bringing it into a makeshift pony tail.

He loved the way your mouth took him so well, letting your tongue swirl around his cock as you took him as far as you could.

Now of course being with Luke for two years you had learnt how to really get to him and that was what made the hockey player turn into putty in your hands.

You let your nails softly run up his legs as he gasped “you’re so perfect.” He repeated that string as he increased the speed of his thrusts.

Whilst the two of you knew that the boys were outside you really didn’t think that you were going to have long.

Part of you wanted to feel bad for him because you could see know long he had been waiting to have some kind of intimacy with you and once you swore off of doing it when Jim and Ellen were in the house Luke was glad to know that the rule did not apply when the couple went grocery shopping.

Luke knew from the moment he got upstairs that he wasn’t going to last long with whatever you two ended up doing, and the gargling noise that you were making whenever thrusted deep enough was certainly not going to help his cause “fuck baby.” He mumbled as his body began to shake.

Your favourite part about getting Luke off? That moment when you get off of your knees and show him that you’ve swallowed.

It always caused him to go weak in the knees, time and time again “c’mere.” Luke smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist before he pulled you into a kiss.

Luke after coming was always really soft, it was one of the things you loved most about him.

But the moment between you was short lived as you heard your phone go off.

quinn: is it safe for us to come back yet?

quinn: Trevor is trying to water ski without any skis.

You let out a laugh as you showed your boyfriend the messages from his older brother.

For now it seemed like Luke was going to have to wait a little bit longer for round two.

[ohisms]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄 . ( a collection of lyric prompts based on various works by ashnikko . adjust phrasing as necessary , mature themes and language are present . )

attitude and the booze won't save you .

you fuck my life up then you say "my bad" .

you don't seem to see what a cliche you are .

repeat after me , "i'm over it" .

you don't ever cross my mind , what's a sheep to a tiger ?

i'm no prey , but i am pursued .

my best friend thinks that i'm a dumbass .

the world is burning and i laugh at the blaze .

on your horse so high , i swear to god i'm higher .

heard a rumor that you said you made me who i am .

i'm too healthy , wealthy , well fed .

i don't have the time to pretend you're funny .

self - made , self - paid , how dare you speak my name ?

i hate you so much right now .

you're not special , it's not cute .

hi , it's me , back again . here to remind you he's not worth it .

i slip up , i text you , i forget that you were so disrespectful .

they told me to be nice and i told them to bite me .

you don't want to see me bratty .

i put that teddy bear you gave me in a blender .

whiskey in my hip flask , nothing fruity .

i can see the desperation , i've got you right where i want you .

you can't stand to see me shine .

so lame that i'm your only claim to fame .

i like how you look when you really beg .

i need a new toy just to cleanse my palate .

it's gonna hurt , it'll sting .

only one strike , then you get the boot .

the only thing you seem to give me is sex .

you think you're the man , bitch please .

we both know it wasn't love , it was a big bad habit .

i only trust a fella for some light amusement .

unfortunately , you made the mistake of underestimating me .

you wish you could sway my attention .

tell me what you need .

there was potential in you .

i wanna make a couple bad decisions .

i'm no cinderella , but i like the shoes .

i do well for myself , nothing you do is extraordinary .

my dumb ass should be a little more cautious .

fuck a princess , i'm a king .

i say i won't do it , then i do it and i make myself sick .

you think you're worth all the fuss ?

to tell the truth , role models weren't around me much .

why am i such a sucker for a fuckboy's freckles ?

i say it's a no - brainer , now .

i'm crazy , but you like that . i bite back .

you already know i'm not shy .

what we did was childish , can we put this behind us ?

nothing was nice , but i loved every minute .

i don't give a fuck , i have more fun on my ones .

i've been predisposed to trauma since i was eleven .

you can keep the image of my butt as a souvenir .

being a bitch is my kink .

you're still taught the same shit .

i think she really likes me .

hide your back , she likes to stab them .

i hate that i'm so self depricating , more comfortable in bad situations .

i'm a little faded , you look like a fuckin' painting .

when i'm with you i have amnesia , got me without a mind .

i don't let a fucker on the internet tell me nothing .

this is all because you want to say you've done it .

i'm fresh out of patience .

you wish i missed you . back the fuck up .

i'm a sucker for a little devastation .

coulda , shoulda , woulda , but you did it .

i swear i'm not crying , the sun's just bright .

tell me why i need you over the next .

i'm eager to hurt more .

i swear my blue vibrator brings me more joy .

i gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch .

you better stock up on tissues , jacking off to all my pictures .

fake it to the top .

typical of me to go and ruin the party .

i'm having the best time of my life .

i'm having the worst time of my life .

you look dumb now that i've come to my senses .

what do you really mean when you're calling me nice ?

you wanna hold a gun but they made you a pinup .

i forget that you're still so disrespectful .

your love is not impressive .

tell it to my manager , he'll tell you "pay a fee" .

now that i can think rationally , i feel so stupid .

everybody says they love me but i'm still brokenhearted .

it's like i need a babysitter , someone to come get me .

god made me pretty , you made me mean .

say you want my body , let me give it to you .

i'm not in your circle , baby .

i just wanna push you to the edge now .

your sad life is never getting better .

what are you mad at me for , huh ?

i was living good until your locusts and your plague hit .

forgive me for the nasty things i say when i'm wounded .

so you're scared of me now , huh ?

women hold the weight of the world .

there's something to be said for a bitch who can top me .

if nothing matters , then i'll be fine .

you hate me cause you hate yourself .

dust yourself off , girl , keep your chin up .

he says i'm a lost cause and he might be right .

i'm that "fuck up your life" girl .

i would crawl through broken glass to get home .

i play my life like a video game .

i think you've gotta do way more if you wanna please me .

what's he doing ? i don't need a brave knight .

i deleted your number .

i'm not shy , i'll say it . i've been picturing you naked .

legs getting tired , can we switch positions ?

you put a knife in my back but you'll never be the death of me .

i could squash you like a little rotten fruit .

you could never , 'cause you're not clever enough .

we were good while it lasted .

my baby calls me bossy .

i don't really need a man , but sometimes i want one though .

i can't even wear my skin without them asking where i've been .

i can make you call remember me .

stupid boy thinks that i need him .

hate me 'cause i'm beautiful , bitch i don't like you either .

i think you know you can't replace me .

who do i have to kill to make everybody love me ?

i try to think , but it's no use .

maybe we can love until we're dead .

this is not an invitation .

how dare i have private desires ?

now you're crying and you're shaking ?

nothing about you is attractive to me , now .

am i fuckable enough for you ?

i don't want you and i don't want your homie .

please don't think that the sex is gonna cloud my view .

can't believe i let your hand inside my bloomers .

tell me how my ass tastes , little bottom feeder .

you don't know your way around a pussy .

i want it , i win it . call it ambition .

i don't need the dick - i need magic , i need money .

i know you think about me in the shower .

i've got several dummies that wanna get on me .

this is so small in the big simulation .

go find another bitch to hoover , count the days until you lose her .

i know you think about me with your hand down your trousers .

you don't know anyone else like me .

it's a therapist you need .

[gatorbites-imagines]

The Hobie brown x male reader fics are non existent and it’s so confusing. Like he’s so fruity????

Sooooo- could u do hc’s for Hobie please? :0 either smut fluff or both! <3

Thank u <3

Hobie Brown nsfw alphabet

Have an alphabet :)

I am 100% blaming @trianglesimp for some of these headcanons, cuz oh boy. They got some of that toe curling content.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hobie would of course do aftercare if he ever topped, but he bottoms most of the time, so you’re the one who’s gotta take care of him instead. He doesn’t need too much, maybe a wet wipe to get some of the spit and cum off his face, if he’s feeling it, and you checking in on him, but other than that your good.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part about himself is probably his legs or his lips, on you its your dick, or your hands and shoulders.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Hobie nasty, but in the good way. He doesn’t care where you cum, as long as its on him or in him, or both. The type to gargle your cum if you bust in his mouth, just because. Or sticks his tongue out and lets it drip all over the floor or your lap.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I cant see Hobie as the kind to have a dirty secret, why keep it a secret when he could tell you and have you do it to him, you know? Dirtiest secret is that he collects Pokemon cards or something like that, wont admit he likes it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Pretty damn experienced, isn’t the kind to beat around the bush and has had his handful of one night stands or short relationships. The kind to try things out if they sound interesting, and keep doing them if he likes them.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Likes anything really. But if you are a fellow spiderman, you guys fuck on the ceiling more than either of you like to admit. Likes to be pushed up against the wall chest first, or for you to fuck his face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Never takes anything too seriously. Would pick up a phone call if his phone rang. Takes you out of his mouth to answer his watch from the spider alliance, see what they want, and take you back into his mouth after, or even during the call if it’s boring.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn’t put too much effort into it, sure he still wants to look good but doesn’t put too many hours into it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

In the beginning of your relationship, I can’t see him as too romantic, but after a while and you two really do fall in love, he has his moments where he just wants to make love or babbles about how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t jerk off a whole lot. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a high libido, because he does, but he just goes to you if he needs to get off. Why do it himself when hes got you around to help him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism.

Marking (Hickeys, spit, cum, knifeplay, etc)

Choking

Makeup stains (like making him suck you off when hes wearing lipstick, runny mascara, etc)

Powerplay

Praise kink

Degradation kink

Taking photos and videos

Semi public or even fully public

Collars or wearing a lock on a chain

Wearing a plug or different toys after you’ve filled him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, anytime. He does not care, as long as there’s enough space for you guys to fit.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Not too hard to get Hobie going tbh. Just look at him right, grab his thigh or put your hand in his back pockets. Send him a text to meet you in the bathrooms, or just motion towards it. He isn’t picky.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I like to think he would try out most things, but something he would never do is things like raceplay, or finance play. Why would he want to bring something like capitalism into the bedroom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers giving, but has nothing against receiving. Just likes going down on you even more than he likes when you do it on him. Has no gag reflex, or has very little of a gag reflex, so he can easily take all of you and just let you warm on his tongue if need be.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You guys’ pace tends to be pretty fast, mainly because you’re both worked up and don’t have the patience for going slow. Of course, you guys have moments where you take it slowly and full of love, but for the most part its quick and dirty.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

All for quickies, Hobie loves them. You don’t even have to ask for the most part.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I like to think Hobie is the type to try out most things once to see if its anything he likes, so he’d be up to try anything you bring to the table, as long as you’ll try anything he brings in too.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Because of the spider bite he’s got incredible stamina, and there’s no way for you to keep up unless you were bitten too or have powers of your own. Could go all night and all morning if he wanted too, and still go out for patrol, if that says anything.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Owns a handful of toys, but for the most part its toys you guys can use together, or you can use on him. Hed rather just wait for you to get home to get off, instead of using toys.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A big tease, loves to tease you and wear the clothes he knows you love, or rub up against you when you guys are supposed to just be hanging out. You give as good as you get though, which Hobie loves too.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Mans is loud and isn’t scared of being vocal. Its lead to you having to clamp a hand over his mouth as you fuck him, which just makes Hobie even louder, it’s a horrible cycle.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Knows how to sew, knit, anything really. Uses it to patch up his battle vest, or other clothes of his or yours. Why go out and get new stuff when he can just fix it himself. Knows how to make a pretty amazing orange cake for some reason.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Above average in length, but isn’t too thick, a nice size that needs a bit of work to get ready for, and you might be intimidated the first time you see it if you wanna take it in your mouth. A few veins. Cut.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Has a pretty high drive, and unless you are a spider person too it can be a little hard to keep up most days. But if you are exhausted, he will take care of himself if he has too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Id you guys are in your bedroom he’d fall asleep pretty quickly after, as long as you are in the bed with him. But if its anywhere else he just walks it off like nothing happened.

[rapplesart]

Ok but like hear me out .

One of the dc crossover fanfics where Bruce adopts a kid (Danny phantom or Peter Parker iykyk) but instead of you know the bats finding them on the streets or having a whole hero cants and mouse thing or Barbara seeing them in the library they just go to the Wayne’s doorstep asking for money after being broke and having the idea in a half drunken state or joking about it .

Like for example Danny after being chased away from amity park and escaping his parents sits on the rooftop and talks with a gargoyles named Gary

„Yeah anyway that’s how I got here Gary, no clue what imma do know“ he says between another bite of pizza „like I’m pretty fucking broke and yeah maybe buying Pizza wasn’t the best investment in my situation but I was hungry I think I deserve a treat after all that .“

Gary stays silent as the two of them look over the city . Sirens echo in the distance, a few roofs in front of the, a black shadow appears between the gaps of the buildings, disappearing into the shadow just as fast as it appeared. Must be one of the bats Danny thinks .

He sets the piece of pizza back down into the carton in order to take a swig of the wine he stole from Vlads gift basket before his great escape. The man puts puts them on the counter for Mandy to find on a weekly basis now as part of his latest attempt to woo the woman. Jack adored the baskets when they first appeared, exited to have his best friend care about him and his wife.

Danny didn’t really plan on drinking it, he just brought it because it was the closest thing to grab. It was there so he took it . Now, sitting on the rooftop realising how fucked he truly was he decided he might as well be drunk for this too.

„And it’s not like any safe and sane workplace will take a random kid without paperwork. I probably need to do something illegal to go by now , Jazz would be so disappointed „ another swig from the wine .

It was fruity and dry and scratched his throat and Danny honestly didn’t enjoy the feeling but it made his wine just a little bit fizzier than before and it helped in a strange way.

Gary remained silent .

„sure there are a lot of Wayne foundations in Gotham that give out stuff , I did my research once I arrived after all, but they’d call cps and cps would either give me back to my parents or just straight up hand me over to the government so that is not an option „

Another bite of pizza . It was delicious a stark contrast to the wine

„It’s not like I can just go to Bruce Wayne and be like ‚yo got some money?‘ the guy would probably think I’m robbing him and call the cops and yeah, you get the gist of it Gary“

Another few beats of silence .

„But the dude is like crazy rich right? And he has his name on all of these foundations , and people say he’s an airhead so maybe I can just go to his house or something and ask for a donation. I mean it would be for a good cause , feeding a hungry homeless teenager is a good cause isn’t it ?“

„Yeah sounds like a pretty good cause Danny“ Damny answered himself as Gary by lowering his voice . The way one might get more into his head than he thought .

„You know what , I think imma just do this. Let’s just ask the rich guy for money he probably won’t even notice that he’s being scammed and if he does he probably has enough money nöt to care „

[l3viat8an]

1- Love your blog (definitely not me being a fan over your work) IT'S AMAZING!!

2- horny demon Brothers + other (if you want) with a poly, innocent and oblivious (fem or nb) mc who just doesn't get why all these demons + others are all over them

( you can skip/trash this if you want)

I've been having a brainrot of this-

Nsfw content MDNI

Ahhh I’m sorry this took so long! ‘n THANK YOU OMGGG <33 i couldn’t think of much for ages, so this is kinda a few things thrown together!

None of them understand it, you always seem so….uninterested when other demons flirt with you.

A few of them Lucifer, Diavolo, Mammon, Solomon & probably Asmo see it more as you trying not to openly turn others away, after all you already have him/them! What more could you need?

But then there are times where you don’t seem to get ‘the hint’ when one of them tries making a move.

Instead you smile and take them literally.

Like the time Asmo and Solomon took you to the club, dirty dancing and having a few fruity drinks.

To them it’s sooo obvious they’re trying to get you into bed, but when Asmo asked if you’d like to “Head somewhere private and have some real fun~?” you just asked “What’s more fun then dancing?” and started dragging Solomon back onto the dance floor-

Solomon had to tell you literally that they wanted to have sex and you just stood there confused.

In the end you all ended up in Solomon’s bed anyways!! Cuddling-

That happens a lot actually-

One or more of the boys spend all day trying to sweet talk and flirt his way into bed with you and then you start actually falling asleep before anything can happen.

More then once, (the boy of your choice) has, had to get back out of bed to jack off in the bathroom and go back to bed and cuddle you. It’s a hard life

Don’t even get me started on all the ways you tease them!

Just walking around in your day to day clothes feels like teasing to them-

But then there’s the times you’ll praise them, like when you told Mammon he did amazing getting an A+ in math and even gave him a few little kisses on the cheek, before turning to walk away.

His mind was going a million miles an hour as his hands reached out to stop, pulling you into his lap and resting his head in bend of your shoulder, lips right by your ear “Ya can’t just do stuff like that and walk off…” huffed against your neck hoping almost praying you’ll clue in this time-

They all love you to death but sometimes, you’re just too much of a tease!! and you don’t even mean to be~

But there are the boys who love how you act!

Like Diavolo just finds it adorable how you don’t really clue into his more suggestive touches, hell you’ll even more closer thinking he just likes having you in his arms (which he does) all the times he’s had you sitting in his lap while he does paperwork and he has to resist the urge to grind you down on his lap. 

After all you look so cute and happy there. He’d just hate to make you uncomfortable. But the thoughts are still there-

and if you do much as wiggle your hips he’s taking that as an invitation, “Sweet MC, are you teasing me?” depending on your answer and if you want too- you’re getting fucked right on top of Diavolo’s desk-

[anon-sect]

If you’re still taking requests for stories could you do one where a hot jock turns his gay friend into a pair of classic hanes socks after he finds him sniffing his sweaty gym socks? These sock transformations are incredible btw

Richard returned from his daily gym sessions. His 6'2" frame was hot and sweaty from an intense, almost two hour workout. He pulled off his shirt, which was soaked in sweat and his gym shorts. Lastly, he pulled his sweaty socks off his feet. They felt drenched and reeked of his foot sweat. He had worn them all week to the gym. It soon would be time to replace them with a new pair of special gym socks. He went and took a shower. He came back out to see his gay roommate holding his smelly gym socks in his hands, sniffing them and jacking off at the same time.

"What the fuck are you doing, Paul!" Richard spoke loudly, which startled his gay roommate. Paul had the look of shock on his face when he saw he was caught in the act.

"Your gym socks just drive me crazy, I can't lie to you. I have been doing this all week. I was hoping you wouldn't catch me." Paul, who was 5'8" on average body, spoke to him. He always admired his tall athletic straight jock roommate ever since he moved in with him. They had been friends for a long time since childhood days.

"So you have been jacking off to my sweaty socks every day?" Richard asked to be sure what he heard was true. He saw Paul nod his head back in response. "You know that is a little sick, right?" He added while getting dressed.

"I can't help it. Your feet are so hot. I am actually jealous of your socks and shoes." Paul admitted without shame. He saw Richard laugh at what he said.

"Wow," Richard said after laughing so hard. It then dawned on him that this could be a blessing in disguise. His gay roommate could be the perfect gym socks. "Perhaps you could help me." He spoke as he went to his drawer and got out a tiny bottle with a liquid inside it.

"How can I help?" Paul asked as Richard handed him the tiny bottle. "Drink this down first." He was told. "Trust me, buddy." Richard added. He opened it and swallowed the contents. It had a fruity taste to it. "Now what?" Paul asked.

Richard pointed his phone camera at Paul. He opened up his TFed app. "You'll see." He spoke as he pressed the flash option in the app. Paul vanished, and in his place was a fresh new pair of classic Hanes socks on the floor. He picked them up off the floor. "Let me explain. You drank a durability formula. It makes you into strong material that will last forever. Secondly, I turned you into my new gym socks. I will wear you for every gym session. You will get sweaty and stinky. You loved my feet so much, you should be used by them then." He spoke as he placed his new gym socks on his dresser.

FIVE MONTHS LATER.......

Richard wiggled his toes in his special gym socks. Paul was holding up well even after five months. It was a great idea turning him into his gym socks. He didn't know what his former roommate thought about his new life, but he hoped he was enjoying it. Paul was the best pair of gym socks he ever owned.

Paul was in love with his new existence and yet hated it at the same time. Yes, he got to experience Richard's feet up close and personal, but he was also nothing but socks to him now. Richard already had a new roommate who was a straight guy. He even told his new roommate about his gym socks. The new roommate thought it was so hilarious, yet he did not feel sorry for him. He was stuck forever, being nothing but socks to his former straight jock friend.

[dont-call-me-beantown]

hey y'all! alex finally convinced me to get tumblr (i don't know how she/he managed to sneak another phone into the hotel, let alone get cell service, but the less questions asked the better, i guess.)

i'm magnus.

no, you may not call me beantown, or rapunzel, or will solace 2.0, or fruity edge. i will punch you <3.

umm, dunno what else i need to say.

im 16

i'm pan (no i am not attracted to pans. i am attracted to alex)

i'm dead (spoiler alert. don't tell the fbi please i think i have like 90 counts of destruction of public property.)

i live on floor 19 in hotel valhalla. don't try and come for a visit, it never ends well.

THINGS WE HAVE GOTTEN BANNED FROM FLOOR 19:

trampolines

the secret pathway to the pizza place (you will be missed)

thin walls (TJ YOUR VIDEO GAMES SOUND LIKE SOMEONE IS GETTING FUCKING MURDERED. I DON'T NEED THAT AT 4 AM)

portable kilns (fire hurts, alex)

taylor swift, selena gomez, ariana grande, beyonce and the original broadway cast of 'cats' (thanks, jack)

THE NORSE SQUAD:

THE ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND LIGHT OF MY WORLD: @alexf1erroo

oh look its one of my father figures: @runelordhearthstone

MACDONALDS: @mallory-keen-to-kill-you

the ones i (sort of) know:

ANNABETH MY AMAZING COUSIN: @not-annabeth

the one i will never stop getting compared to: @dr-flipflops

the ghost king: @nico-sees-dead-people

PERCY MY MAN: @seewead-brian

annabeth's friend number 1 (all i know is you can get really cool bling from her if you ask nicely enough): @pjosideblog

crescent: @cresent-solace

another blond boy. annabeth and percy like to collect them i guess: @demi-gods-blonde-superman

annabeth's friend number 2: @proud-tree-hugger

annabeth's roman scary friend: @praetorofthebestlegion

car stealer with a rich dad: @theghostsaredancing

prophecy lady? i don't like prophecies: @rackel-mackerel-dare

another camp half blood girly: @silena-beauregard-xxx

cookie dough ice-cream's mortal enemy @zankfrang23

another camp half blood girly 2.0: @sun-girl-official

this guy has died almost as many times as me: @mrmcshizzleandh-meister

he steals stuff. be warned: @connorstollslays

quinn: @quinn-is-victory

selena: @beauty-queennn

ex-god apparently? idk annabeth didn't catch me up on enough: @calypsoontheisland

ex-god number 2?? how many of them are there holy moly. someone please do that to thor: @no-longer-lester

***********************************************************************

thats all pookies <3

pro-tip from someone who doesn't make good decisions: never sign up for pottery making to the death just because your boyfriend/girlfriend wants you to. it never ends well.

my main acc is @charbroiledchicken (follow for writeblr and fandom stuff. i also do fanfiction requests so drop me an ask)

[absurdthirst]

Kinktober 2023: October 9th

Day 9: Slutwear, Squirting/Cumshots, Prostitution/Camming/Sex-for-Service

Agent Whiskey x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Camming, technically sex work, voyeurism, sex toys, breast play, masturbation, dom/sub undertones, slight obsession

|| Kinktober List || MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

The camera light blinks on, making you take a deep breath and adjust the lacy mask that completely conceals the upper half of your face. Last week, it had been a pretty rhinestone cat mask, but you had wanted something gothically sexy for the first day you are camming in October. 

“Hello.” You lick your lips, tasting the fruity lip gloss that you had thought would look good on the camera feed for your customers. The chat bar, where the users that are in your Cam ‘room’ can send you messages or just talk amongst themselves. There’s only one username here tonight and you see that he had paid for a private session. 

Whiskey. You had heard his voice a few times and imagined a cowboy from the top of his Stetson to the bottom of his boots. “Whiskey.” 

****

Jack groans in anticipation as the feed connects, catching the first sight of Kinkygirl4U. 

It had been a whim, a lonely, spur of the moment thing but since that first visit to the cam room, he’s been hooked. Eager to see you move, talk, fuck yourself. Touch yourself. 

No one at Statesman knows about this, they can’t know about it. It’s his dirty little secret, staying home when he could prowl the bars. Watching a computer screen when he could be sliding into bed with whatever woman he had charmed. 

The fact was, he was bored of that. It had lost its appeal. He was so tired of chasing women that he was going to forget their faces before he slipped out their front door. The endless flirting and one night stands. He knew he wasn’t going to commit, he couldn’t. 

Stumbling upon your page had happened by accident. Searching porn one night when the invite for a cam room popped up. It had been intriguing enough to click on and he had been pushed into your room just as soon as he had entered his credit card information. 

You had been perfect. A mix of innocent and vixen that had his cock throbbing as you touched yourself and interacted with the other people that were watching. Watching along with them as you made yourself cum, talked about your sexual experience and laid yourself literally bare in front of him. 

It had been the beginning for him. Every chance he had, he had logged on to watch you. Memorizing your broadcast times so he could make sure that he was in front of a computer. He had even locked his office door and watched you a few times when he was working at Statesman in New York. 

Jack turns on the mic and chuckles quietly. “Hello, Kinkygirl.” He purrs. “You sure look pretty in that mask.” There’s nothing else that you are wearing tonight, so he can’t complement your pretty lingerie, but your tits look mouthwatering. 

You giggle for him, something that is most likely practiced, but it sounds real and he can indulge in the fantasy that you are actually preening for him. 

“Whiskey, you naughty boy. You bought out the show tonight.” You playfully chastise him, but there is a grin on your face and your hand slides up to cup your tits and push them towards the camera. “Didn’t want to share, hum?” 

“Sure didn’t, sugar.” He grunts, drinking in the sight of you greedily and reaching for the overly large belt buckle that has a flask on it. Needing to free his already hard cock. “Want you all to myself. That’s alright, ain’t it?” 

You hum playfully, tilting your head up in thought even as you brush your thumbs over those perky nipples of yours. You know that Whiskey likes your breasts, he always wants you to touch them or pinch your nipples. Apparently a tit man behind his screen. “Of course it is, baby.” You decide, letting out a soft moan when your nipples are achingly hard and the pressure of your thumb turns slightly painful against it. 

Jack groans, loving how your back arches and your eyes flutter behind the mask. Just once, he would want to see all of your face. Even resisting the urge to have you found using Statesman resources. This is just for him, you think that he’s just some normal man and he likes it. 

“Good.” He grunts, flicking the button of his jeans open and sighing in relief. He can see, but there’s a certain sense of anonymity that he enjoys. You know a username, a code name of a code name in life’s little irony. “Why don’t you show me how wet you are, sugar? I’ve been thinkin’ about you all day.” He coos.

Smirking when you immediately lean back and start to spread your legs, willing to give him anything that he wants. It’s a rush for him, telling you to perform and you do it so prettily. Groaning when he sees how wet your folds are as you angle the camera down to let him get an up close view. 

“That’s a fucking pretty cunt.” He praises, pulling his cock out of his jeans and reaching for the lotion. He’s pretty much having to keep a bottle close by when he’s got you on his screen. Broadcasted to him in vivid color and 4K resolution. “So sexy, sugar. You love touching your little clit, don’t cha?”

He hisses when he wraps his hand around his dick, the lotion much cooler than your cunt would be. Watching as you breathlessly pant and start to touch yourself. He will watch whatever you want to do, eager to just devour you and he coos praises as he strokes himself. 

“Pretend you’re with a lover, sugar. Show me how you would ride a dick.” You have a toy, a dildo that you suction to the mirror that you have laying on your bed. Letting him see how it looks as you ride it through the reflection and he has been wanting to see it again since the first time he had seen it. 

You obey without even questioning it, making him twitch in his hand when he watches the thick pink silicone of the toy disappear inside you, watching your lips stretch around it and wondering if it feels as good as the real thing for you. “Oh fuck, sugar, that feel good?” He asks. “Bet it feels so good inside that little cunt. Nice and tight. That toy thick enough or do you like it thicker?” 

He’s pretty fucking girthy so he’s imagining how you would whine as you slowly sink down on his cock. Coming through the screen and straddling him in his chair. 

“It’s so good.” Your breathy moans are turned all the way up so he can hear every hitch in your voice. Never being turned on like then when someone is moaning in his ear. 

“That’s it, sugar. Ride it for Whiskey.” He moans out, eyes fixed on the screen where you are literally giving him his own private porno. Like those peep-show booths, but this is even better. It’s obviously in your room, where you live and relax when you aren’t filming. 

You are magnificent as you pleasure yourself in front of the camera, for him. Whimpering out his username as you start to bounce on the toy. He wonders what you are imagining. Are you imagining some version of him? Are you thinking about what you are going to do after, what errands you have to run? He’s so used to wearing his own mask when he is on a mission that he’s apparently more comfortable with you than with a person in the flesh. His little cam girl. 

Jack moans, cumming from the sight of your tits bouncing and the pressure of his cock. Covering his shirt and pants with his release as you start to cum yourself. Slowly working himself through his pleasure as you cry and shake over the toy before you stop moving. Pulling off of the toy and panting as you move closer to the camera. “How was that, Whiskey?” You ask breathlessly. 

Your face is sweaty and your eyes filled with passion or pleasure, that part he hasn’t quite figured out yet, but he will. Next time. “Perfect, sugar.” Jack murmurs through the internet connection that links you together. “Just perfect.” 

[rybonucleic-ket]

jack sparrow x male reader

because pirates were historically renowned gays and there's not enough fruity captain jack sparrow out there and jack's fucking hot

Captain Jack Sparrow x M!Reader

fluffy smut (pretty neutral language for smut, can be read by both cis and trans guys)

I will never use the term y/n in any of my writing if I have any say in the matter.

NSFW, 18+, minors dni

~~~

It's not uncommon for you to wind up in the Captain's quarters as night sets in. In fact, it's become a nightly routine. No ladies on the ship, you figured, the man's gotta get release somewhere. You're just glad he chose you.

Jack pulls you into his arms as soon as you close the door, burying his face in your neck, breathing you in. "Hey, love," he murmurs into your skin.

"Evenin', captain," you whisper back.

He hums against your neck, pulling you impossibly closer, bringing you flush against his chest. Just holding you, savoring your presence. That made you feel things. Well, Jack Sparrow makes you feel a lot of things, but loving, domestic touching made you hopeful. Hope is a dangerous thing. You were so sure that you were purely for release, considering the lack of women. There was no way the Captain could feel any different, you were a man.

"I do wish you wouldn't do that, Captain."

"Do what, sweetheart?"

"Hold me like that. it's not entirely fair for you to get my hopes up."

Jack pulled back to look you in the eyes, confused, still holding you. "Love, what'd ya mean? get your hopes up for what?"

"I know you only want me for the lack of girls, 's not quite fair for you to hold me so. bit misleading."

Jack laughed softly. "Darling, what are you on about? I've never seen a lady as beautiful as you. Don't go talking like you're some sort of placeholder," Jack smirked. "And I'm fairly sure you're just as smitten for me."

You scoff in mock offense. "That's quite presumptuous of you, captain."

He laughs, "Oh, is it now?" He scoops you into his arms, carrying you to his bed. "Well, since you're so sure I'd never fancy a man, guess I've gotta show you otherwise, savvy?"

You hum in affirmation.

"What's that, love? can't hear you." His voice is low, bordering on a growl.

You sigh at him. "Well, yes, captain, I s'pose you ought."

To your surprise, he simply hums and snuggles up behind you, kissing the back of your neck.

That fucker. you desperately wanted to cherish your wholesome little moment with Jack, but he'd riled you up, and if the tightness of his pants and the very slight, barely noticable way he was trying to restrain himself from grinding into you was any indication, he was as well. Captain Jack Fucking Sparrow for ya. Insufferable. Incredibly hot. Unbearably loveable.

You press yourself back against him, clutching at his hands around your waist, biting back desperation. "Jack, please."

"Please what, pretty boy?" You can feel him grin against the back of your neck. Fucking prick.

"I want- I need you. please."

Jack sighs dramatically. "Well, y'know, I was planning on just holding you in the way that makes you feel special, but uh," his voice drops, "I'd probably give you anything if you asked like that so.." his breath was hot on the side if your neck. "By all means."

He'd flipped you over to have you on his lap faster than you could say 'savvy'. His hand made its way to the hair at the back of your neck, guiding your head to give him easier access to your mouth. He grinned against your lips at the noise you made when he tightened his grip on your hair, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, dragging his teeth across the flesh. He kissed you hard, occasionally whispering your name into the kiss. You relished the groan you got from grinding down on his lap; from your current position, it was obvious he was just as turned on as you were, bucking his hips up slightly to meet yours.

"fuck, Jack-"

"'M here, love. How'd you wanna take me, hm?"

"Don't care, you choose, I just- I need-"

"Yeah, sweetheart, I've got you." He gripped the back of your thighs, tilting you down until your back met the bedsheets, legs still wrapped around his hips. He gently parted your legs, the two of you gradually undressing each other between kisses.

He let out a sigh of awe once you were fully undressed. "Fuck, look at you, darling. Beautiful." he planted kisses on every inch of skin he could access. "I've no clue how you'd think you're a stand-in for anyone, such a pretty boy. Absolutely perfect, love."

If you weren't so incredibly turned on, the whimper you let out would've been embarrassing.

Jack saw your desperation as you fisted the sheets, and after getting the go-ahead, he set to work stretching you, making sure it'd hurt as little as possible. You writhed, back arching off the bed, moans escaping you that you could only hope the sound of the sea would drown out. Desperate, you pushed yourself back on his fingers.

"'m ready, please just- fuck, please, Jack."

Jack grabbed the oil from his bedside table, and you thought you'd never seen him lube up so fast

"oh fuck, Jack, please-"

He leans over you, tip pressed against your hole. "Please what, sweetheart?"

"please fuck me already, god-"

Jack smirks as he slides into you. "All you ever gotta do is ask, savvy?"

But the only noise you were producing were moans, strings of curses, and breathless calling of Jack's name.

As he picks up his pace, he practically growls in your ear, "Some day, I'll fuck you like this against the wheel of the Pearl. watch your back arch off the wood, into me." Jack brushes your hair out of your face. "Gonna love you so good."

As his thrusts grow more sporadic, Jack moans out a breathless "I love you." and that's what sends you over the edge. your vision goes white, your toes curl, your nails dig into Jack's shoulder blades as he spills inside you.

You're left shaking in Jack's arms, him running his hands through your hair, telling you how good you were for him. And that's how you drift to sleep, tangled with Captain Jack Sparrow, feeling more loved than you ever have before.

(it's on ao3)

[potcconfessions]

"In response to the comments and reblogs in my previous confession (367), first of all I’m queer (trans and acearo), I wont apologizing for thinking your pirate jesus isn’t fruity, also death threats are inacceptable. 1) Some of your answers confuse gender expression with sexual orientation, which is wrong, just because someone wears makeup or gesticulates “weirdly” doesn’t mean they’re queer, you’re stereotyping, this can fall into racist territory too, as not every culture has the same way to express themselves of white people and a good portion of the fans (me too) think of Jack as at least mixed. 2) Actors saying shit during interviews (Johnny Deep “all my chars are queer” and Crook and Arenberg “Pintel and Ragetti are uncle and nephew”) are at best soft canon, if not outright non canonical as there is no evidence in the actual movies, it’s at the same level of the wizards terf saying their magic school principal is gay on twitter. 3) If we look at the factual evidence Jack ONLY FLIRTS WITH WOMEN and, in DMC, when he thinks a disguised Elizabeth (calls her "lad") is flirting with him, he immediately makes up excuses and doesn’t look too pleased by this perceived amorous interaction. 4) Jack is a master at pushing people’s buttons, as shown in the franchise (minus the shitty fifth movie), his interactions with James are like that because he knows that he hates that behaviour, due to his strict nature, also he invades people’s personal space all the time, no one is safe from it (even the governor receives this treatment), because he knows that it can make people uncomfortable fast. 5) There are plenty of examples of people fighting for certain rights but then shitting on other minorities (some gays being trans/acephobes for example), so him being against slavery isn’t a valid point, also he might fight for the freedom of other people because he knows it’s the right thing, but still being icked by certain things, it’s the human nature, it’s full of contradictions. 6) I’m an extreme multishipper and ship Jack with both Barbossa and Norrington, but shipping discourse is as canonical as my takes on everyone’s sexualities in the previous post and aren't a valid counterargument. 7) To conclude, thinking about it he could be considered aromantic, due to a line of dialogue about Angelica in OST (him having caught feelings for her and no one else), but due to the way he behaved towards her I can't think of him like that, for me he's simply an asshole towards women he wants to fuck and can't stand the idea of being vulnerable with them (due to OST storyline) and is squeamish about gays (due to DMC's dialogue)."

[only-lonely-star]

‧₊ ᵎᵎ ⋆ 🎃 ˚｡⋆.ೃ࿔ Halloween HCs ‧₊ ᵎᵎ ⋆ 🎃 ˚｡⋆.ೃ࿔

Warnings - Mentions of gore, Johnny’s headcanons are kind of sad tbh 😭, “laced” candy, mentions of Curtis’ deceased parents.

Author’s Note - These are miscellaneous headcanons!! I can’t bring myself to wait until Halloween to post this, so I’m doing it now! I’ve been in the fall mood for so long and this scratched my brain just right. I would kill to live in Tulsa around the holiday season in the 60s- like you guys don’t even understand. I hope you enjoy! 🐈‍⬛🍂

── ── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ── ──

The Curtis gang NEVER misses on Halloween, it’s their night.

I can definitely see Two-Bit going all out with his sister (I personally HC her to be younger, around 6 maybe), and decorating their porch all cutesy with jack-o-lanterns and fake spiderwebs. Two-Bit would probably take her trick or treating around 7-8 pm when it’s just getting dark. He’ll save the actual night for fun with the gang.

Soda and Ponyboy still go trick or treating even though most greasers see that as “little kid stuff” and stop around the age of 12. It’s like a tradition for them to go every year. Darry grew out of it before their parents had passed, but when they were still alive they sent him to drive Soda and Pony around town and help out with navigating the streets. He still does it to feel more at ease with them going out as well as reminiscing on past Halloweens. (This made me think of the annual ornament situation from S.E Hinton’s Christmas story 💔)

Darry always rummages through Soda and Ponyboy’s bags and picks out his favorites to smuggle from them, hoping they won’t notice. I just know he loves his chocolate bars - I’m talking Hershey’s bars and Milky Way bars.

I feel like Dally would be an even bigger asshole and blame it on Halloween.

Dally tricks, he doesn’t treat.

He’d also pull all sorts of pranks on people he knows just for kicks. He’d try and scare Tim or some shit by messing with his lights and causing loud banging sounds from outside. Tim obviously knows it’s Dally so he chooses to ignore him until he can’t take it anymore.

Steve’s favorite holiday growing up was always Halloween. He would always earn the title of best dressed for the costumes Mrs. Curtis would hand sew ☹️. She took pride in it too, she’d work super hard until he was satisfied with it. (I get superhero vibes from him, maybe even like a pirate 😭)

The Curtis household is THE hangout for trading candy (let’s be honest, when is it not?)

Johnny’s favorite holiday is Halloween because it’s one of the few major holidays that doesn’t require him to see families bonding all around him ☹️ (Also because he can roam the streets without being singled out for being a Greaser.)

I’m pretty sure (like 99% sure) it’s canon that Dally is afraid of spiders, so I think it’s safe to say he fucking HATES any of those life-sized spiders people put on their windows as decoration.

Johnny hates people dressed up as the dead, it’s just unsettling to him when people do that whole ‘fake axe in the head’ thing or plastic intestines (I hope you guys know what I mean, or else I sound like I’m literally insane.)

Halloween is Ponyboy’s second favorite holiday (besides Christmas) because he gets to dress up. I think this is so cute because I also headcanon him to do theater for school. 😭❤️ Costumes are very exciting for him because he’s so used to doing it for theater.

Darry loves to carve pumpkins with silly faces and put them out on their porch for the little kids when they stop by. I personally think he’d be so great with kids since he’s had the older brother role all his life.

Darry can’t STAND fruity and chewy candy.

Two-Bit was Mickey Mouse for Halloween when he was like five and it just stuck with him. 😭 I also feel like he could imitate Mickey’s voice so well that a little part of his inner child is screams every time he successfully does it without having a voice crack.

Cherry ironically hates cherry-flavored lollipops or chews even though everyone hands her that specific flavor to be funny. She thinks it tastes like medicine. (She likes the fruit though!)

Soda will gladly suck down the old grandma candy nobody likes. Those strawberry chews, butterscotch, off-brand candy corn - he’ll eat all of it.

Steve would totally try to make the DX all festive for Halloween and tell Soda “it’s for the kids” even though no kids willingly go to the GAS STATION unless their parents drag them along.

Ponyboy lovessss Halloween movies and usually wants to watch them with Johnny since he loves the horror portion of a ‘Halloween movie’. Johnny likes the thrill.

Two-Bit dresses up at school on Halloween. He doesn’t give a shit, it’s canon he just goes for kicks.

Johnny likes to hang with Dally and mess with people or play stupid pranks on them since he really doesn’t like the idea of trick-or-treating at sixteen.

Johnny grew out of trick-or-treating at a young age. He felt he was too mature for it since he was forced to toughen up as a kid due to his parent's constant abuse. Normal child activities feel foreign to him.

Halloween parties at Buck’s go CRAZY and Dally always looks forward to seeing those girls in skimpy ‘costumes’. (Very Mean Girls ‘Halloween rule’ inspired.)

Darry used to always be like a little photographer on Halloween eve and would take pictures of Soda and Pony and proudly show the pictures to their parents. “Pony, give me your pillowcase so i can take a photo… now hold your hat up… smile normally, not in character….perfect…”

“Careful, you gotta check that candy first, kid. people hide blades and stuff in candy,” while Two-Bit stabs Ponyboy’s candy bar with his switchblade and laughs his ass off.

I’m so ready for Halloween. I don’t care how old I get, I’ll always love dressing up and shit and just fall vibes in general. I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did making it.

I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU FOR READING 💋

[eazy-peazy54]

"Welcome, babies. To the Fruity Pebbles Castle of Torment: a scary castle with 100 rats."

~~~

There comes a time once in every f-slur's life to make an intro post for this god forsaken hellsite.

Now is that time.

~~~

GREETINGS, TO EVERY FOOL WHO HAS MISTAKENLY STUMBLED UPON THIS TUMBLR PAGE!

(This is my sick ass and very cool intro post!!)

SOME MAY CALL ME A MAD SCIENTIST, OR A "RINGMASTER-TYPE," BUT MOST THINK OF ME AS SOME SORT OF WEIRDO WHO THINKS THAT BILL CIPHER IS "SO ME FR" AND TYPES LIKE THAT FOR FUNZIES IN HER INTRO POST SO SHE LOOKS COOL.

(The last one is true, I'm truly a nerd trying to impress you all so you stick around and like me. In all honesty I'm just a kid who wants to be both Bill Cipher and also a vampire. I wanna bring a real Will-Woodian vibe to your function [aka your dashboard.])

THIS BLOG IS ONLY A GLIMPSE INTO THE ENIGMA OF THE LONG AND VAST MAZE THAT SOME MAY CALL A "BRAIN." I PREFER TO CALL IT A MIND-HOLE.

MIND-FUCK, MIND-HOLE, SAME DIFF.

ANYWHO, ONWARDS!

🧪 ABOUT ME: ~ My name is Peazy ~ She/He/They ~ Bi ~ Minor ~ I PROBABLY HAVE AUTISM!! (we can tell) OR ADHD OR SOMETHING !! OR BOTH!! PROLLY BOTH!! 🫀 WHAT I DO: ~ I shitpost. A lot. Mostly, actually. But I am ALSO: ~ An artist! ~ Singer-Songwriter ~ Starting a band! (Mr. Amnesia and The Surrealists, check us out if we ever drop anything!) ~ Writer (of both real stories, and fanfiction!) ~ Creator of the Mary Bell Township ARG! (check out my TikTok and Youtube links if you're interested.. :3) 🐇 FUN FACTS: ~ Once again, I make music! ~ I'm making an ARG that I might make a sideblog for, so stay tuned! ~ I am allergic to gluten ~ I fuckin LOVE cats ~ I'm somehow Goth and Emo and Scene all at the same time?!?? ~ I play the pianooooo!

💫 CURRENT HYPERFIXATIONS: ~ Will Wood ~ LITWTC/Life in The World to Come ~ Gravity Falls ~ My own ARG ?? somehow ?? Don't ask, I don't know how this happened.

~ Moral Orel

🌊 FANDOMS: ~ Will Wood ~ LITWTC/Life in The World to Come ~ Gravity Falls ~ Smiling Friends ~ Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix ~ Portal ~ Once again, my own ARG somehow.

~ Moral Orel

~ Sonic The Hedgehog

~ Hatsune Miku/Vocaloid

~Undertale

~Deltarune

🎹 MUSIC I LISTEN TO: ~ this list is never gonna be EVERYTHING i listen to so bare with me

🎼 GENRES: ~ Goth ~ Emo ~ Vaporwave ~ Alternative ~ General "Weird Kid" music ~ Rap ~ Swing ~ "Indie" ~ Folk ~ Punk ~ Hyperpop ~ Basic white girl music that I will not admit as to specifics 🎶 ARTISTS: (in no particular order) (also this is NOT all of them) ~ Will Wood/Will Wood and the Tapeworms ~ Lemon Demon ~ Tally Hall ~ Oingo Boingo ~ DEVO ~ That Handsome Devil ~ Crystal Castles ~ Glass Animals ~ Man Man ~ Tyler, The Creator ~ Kendrick Lamar ~ Desert Sand Feels Warm At Night ~ Infinity Frequencies ~ POiSON GiRL FRiEND ~ Girls Rituals ~ Black Dresses ~ Jack Stauber ~ Mitski ~ She Wants Revenge ~ Joy Division ~ New Order ~ Joey Valence & Brae ~ Chappell Roan ~ Gorillaz ~ SOPHIE ~ Charli xcx ~ Kesha ~ MF DOOM ~ TV Girl ~ Ethel Cain ~ Lamp ~ Panchiko ~ Yaelokre ~ Radiohead ~ Billie Eilish

🕯️ AESTHETICS IM INTO: ~ Yes, this needed its own category. Hush hush. ~ Gothic (I'm goth don't come at me for putting it in the damn aesthetics) ~ Emo/Scene (SAME SHIT APPLIES AS THE LAST ONE) ~ Frutiger Aero (and anything relating) (<- I will yap about this for ages hold me back) ~ Frutiger Metro ~ Southern Gothic ~ New Wave ~ Utopian Scholastic ~ Vaporwave (IM AN OG PLEASE CHAT) ~ Weirdcore (NOT THE ONE YOU'RE THINKING) ~ 2000's/Y2k (once again NOT THE ONE YOU'RE THINKING) ~ Twee (oopsie daisy) ~ Whimsigoth

~ Halloween shit ~ General vibes of mad scientists and circuses ~ Whatever the fuck Will Wood has going on

🎪 OTHER INTERESTS: ~ Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner ~ Flamingo ~ Making PLAYLISTS RRRAAAGH ~ Aesthetics (ask me about this shit I will yap for ages) ~ Liminal Spaces ~ Jfashion ~ Gyaru fashion ~ Other Subcultures ~ Everything creepy! ~ Song analyzation ~ Vampires ~ Circus stuff ~ Mad scientist stuff ~ HALLOWEEN ~ Playing piano! ~ YAPPING

🏷 TAGS TO LOOK OUT FOR: ~ #asks :3 - everything people yap to me in my inbox! ~ #fanfic shenanigans - I want you to take a WILD GUESS. ~ #peazy's yapping - general stuff, or long posts of me yapping ~ #long post - again, take a wild guess. ~ #reblog - like a normal reblog, but I said something in the tags! ~ #art reblog - same as the last one, but art I really liked and had something to say about! ~ #important - actual important things, like awareness posts and all that good jazz :) ~ #mutuals/#THATS OOMF 😭 - MUTUALLSSSS

~#mary bell township/#mary bell township arg - my arg! Arg content goes under both tags, but there’s usually more content under #mary bell township :)

🔎 OTHER SOCIALS: ~ TikTok ~ Instagram ~ Youtube ~ Ao3

🦇 DNI: ~ Jokes on you, there is none! Except... ~ Homophobes, transphobes, nazis, racists, terfs, radfems, pedos, proshippers ~ Blogs who solely post NSFW (a few suggestive things are fine! but if you're posting straight-up PORN or only nsfw and only smut, then no thank you brother) ~ Adding on to that, if you have a NSFW side blog, that's fine! ~ Also don't tag my posts as NSFW pretty please. I'm a minor, and if I'm talking about my mama, I mean my mother. ~ people who don't fw bagels /j ~ Either way, I block as I please!

PHEW, FINALLY THATS OVER WITH. BEEN MEANING TO MAKE ONE OF THESE FOR A WHILE NOW.

ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED LEARNING ABOUT ME, AND IF YOU READ THIS FAR..

thank you! :)

It means a lot!

NOW,

BEGONE.

[slafkovskys]

What’s all star weekend gonna be like for the boys and Angel? Hopefully Luke gets voted in 🤞🤞

jack’s running into the gym in his and luke’s apartment complex, popping in front of where she was doing her cool down on the treadmill. she pauses the machine and her podcast, looking at the man alarmed, “who’s hurt? do we need to go to a hospital?”

“no. why would you- nevermind,” he leans against the front of the treadmill excitedly, “what are you doing the first weekend of february?”

“the first weekend of february?” she closes her eyes as she racks her brain, “probably sleeping?”

“do you want to sleep in toronto? because i’m a fucking allstar baby,” he shows her his phone and she looks at the announcement, taking the phone from his hand as she reads it a couple of times before squealing. “you’re coming, right?”

“of course i am! oh, i’m so proud of you jacky,” she mumbles, pressing her hands to his cheeks before pulling him in, “so, so proud.”

quinn’s bid to toronto comes later that night and she sends him an equally enthusiastic message, asking for a call as soon as he could. with two of her boys set, she worried about luke. she knew he could be voted in, but what if he wasn’t?

he can see her mind running wild as they lay in bed that night. she was tracing shapes on his chest with her lip between her teeth, obviously having something to say. he clears his throat, “you can say it, angel.”

“what if you don’t get to go?” she avoids his eyes, “it’s not fair if i get to with quinn and jack and you’re just not there. it won’t feel right.”

“i’ll cut you a deal,” he offers and her fingers stop, palm laying flat against his abdomen as she prepares to soak in what he has to say, “if i don’t get voted in, you and i, we run away for a couple of days. somewhere warm with fruity little cocktails. then we go can go to toronto and be with them. does that sound good?”

“yeah,” she sighs, “now i kind of don’t want you to go so we can be somewhere warm with fruity little cocktails.”

luke misses the vote and he swears he doesn’t mind when he’s sending her a flight confirmation for the three days in the dominican republic with another flight to toronto attached. they have their time before joining jack and quinn in canada, hanging out in the suite that was unofficially housing all four of them most of the time.

she’s secretly a little happy that she gets to have luke with her and the rest of the hughes family that joined the occasion. leaning into him when play is slow or grabbing onto his wrist when quinn’s shot bounces off the bar. he stares at her, “is this what you’re like all of the time?”

without missing a beat, she and ellen respond in tandem, “yes.”