#ive watched this like tweleve times

[athenxt]

trobedcore:

[velvetporcelain]

tweleve thirty three p.m.

i still find myself hiding, mostly here, where no one knows me and i am free and safe to express.

my bedroom is my oasis. ive been at my desk watching reruns of catfish trying to quiet the thoughts. i find it easier to just come here and type even though i feel like i have nothing to say. but when i feel i have nothing to say, i actually have everything to say, or too much to say. its all jumbled up in a knot.

i have a headache from crying yesterday. i keep saying there was nothing left. as in me. but somehow i recover, i abosrb more until the next time it is time to rain.

i keep thinking that im insane, and to let it go, but my spirit wont let me. we are connected and that is how it works. dare i say that i feel neutruel today. dare i say that i feel today. im so good at feeling all the wrong feelings it feels like.

my birthday is soon, very soon. im far from home and i can feel that.

i miss my family even though i have my own.

i miss being around love.

i miss being around people.

im not good when i am alone.

x

[bingus-bing-bong]

Well we've finally said goodbye to eleven and reached tweleve. Which ive gotta admit on all my many dr who binges ive never rewatched series 8 onwards. Usually i fizzle out about series 6-7.

So far im doing my best to approach it hopeful that with the time thats passed ill enjoy it more but honestly even now Clara annoys me. And i did watch most of 12's run live and he never really felt like the doctor to me. The most i got was a few scenes and most of episode one but overall not really.

My partner mostly had started losing interest since clara turned up but luckily i havent infected with my dislike of her but they arent enjoying the plots much or grumpy 12. Honestly i know theyll like the quirky version once he loosens up so theres still hope. They thought Missy upon first appearance was future Clara and asked for who it was and currently are very annoyed that Missy controls heaven.

And looks like we might be caught up in time for the 60th so far! Recently finished the 50th anniversary episode and oh boy the amount that annoyed my partner with Gallifreys seemingly lack of a good war effort and theyve quickly become annoyed with how often Gallifrey is dragged back for no reason. Series 12 arc is gunna be fun ey. Luckily most of thats spoiled to them already so theyre prepared.