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thomase1 · 1 year ago

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Two broken make a whole; chapter 5

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What should I say, it has been a while. An eternity. But I finished this chapter finally. Took me a sec to even remember how all this works-

I would advice to re-visit chapter 4 before reading this one, I had to do as well.

Thanks to everybody sticking around 💜 This one's a bit of a wild and chaotic one. I just hope it doesnt come across as rushed.

This is not proof read so sorry for any errors.

Warnings: talks of abuse and rape, reader struggling with facing her fears, overthinking, anxiety

Wordcount: ~2150

After a very long shower, watching your comfort show for the millionth time and sleeping in as long as possible, you left the comfort of you own four walls.

Admittedly, you still felt like shit.

Sad, reminded of everything you tried to leave behind, ashamed and just utterly overwhelmed. Not to mention embarrassed. Had it been Nat, Clint, hell even Tony that witnessed it all, it would only be half as bad. But luck, per usual, was not on your side.

The review of yesterdays mission went differently than you thought. Your emotional outburst wasnt even mentioned, the thing that actually took up most of the meeting was Loki and Thors absence.

"Ok guys. I'm really starting to worry now. What if they ran?", Cap sighs. "It surely wouldnt look good when mentioned to Fury, thats for sure.", Nat says bluntly. Tony leans back in his seat with a cocky but sour expression, "Would it be too soon for an 'I told you so!'?". "Oh come on, do you really have no faith in them? There is no reason why they'd have to run after that mission, THEY," you emphasize, "made no mistakes. I'm sure they will be back soon.", you try to defend them even though you start to worry yourself. "You do know who we are talking about, right?", Clint raises one sceptical eyebrow.

The meeting was thankfully cut short. Without the brothers, you couldn't possibly remember everything that went down, especially since you were zoned out though most of the mission. It made no sense to continue without them.

Just as you threw yourself on the sofa with some pasta, you heard the elevator ding and the booming voice of Thor. "Hello there Y/n. How are you feeling?", Thor greets you with a hug. He smells odd, like an old basement, smoke and dust. Sceptically, you hug him back. "Welcome back. I'm feeling much better thank you. I think you should speak to Cap though. Your solo operation has caused quite the drama.", you grin, patting his shoulder. Thor sighs and turns back around to the elevator, "Norns, they really have no trust in me. I will speak to them, thank you Meddy."

Meanwhile Loki sat down on the sofa eyeing your food. You now eye him eyeing your food. And suddenly your eyes meet as his green ones snap up at yours. You hold his gaze, "If you want you can take some pasta you know. I bet your hungry after being gone that long.". He scoffs, "Correct. A thank you would be in order.".

He must be shitting you, right?!

"Excuse me, what? What am I surpossed to thank you for? Your solo trip? Ive had to listen to the others complain all day because of that!", you agressively fork your pasta. "Yes, precisely, it was to help you! Hel if Shield knew about it I'd rot in a cell for all of eternity!", his voice raises and his arms cross. "Ok, rewind. Lets start over. Where were you and what did you two do?", you stop eating and pause your show. "And why should I tell you?", Loki teases. You scoff, "So I know what I am surpossed to thank you for of course." So he started to explain.

"After Thor and I brought you to the tower, we did not hand that imbecile over to Shield or any other authorities. We took matters into our own hands.", he says with a proud smirk. "What did you- did you kill him?", you ask nervously. "Ultimately yes, but do you remember for how long we were gone?" Oh god. Oh fuck. "Ages, what like 16 hours? The others were getting nervous you somehow escaped Thor or something.", you nervously bounce your leg. "As expected... But no actually, we took our time to extract every bit of information regarding the weapons from him. Lets just say healing is a big asset in torture.", his eyes glimmer bright green as his grin becomes almost devilish. "I dont think I understand...", or more like, dont want to. "We hurt him as badly as we wanted, he couldnt die. I just healed him any time he came close.", he states flatly. "Oh my god-", your breath catches in your throat. "You're welcome. So, dont worry about him anymore and- This stays between us, officially we had to kill him when we first arrived at the warehouse." "Noted."

An awkward silence fell over the room when you sigh heavily, "Look, I am deeply ashamed over my emotional outburst yesterday. Could we maybe just forget about it? Please?". His eyes flutter as he gives you a once over, then the faintest of smiles crosses his lips, "I dont even know what you are talking about, Agent.". Did my nether regions just clench-

Oh lord-

Your cheeks blush as you clear your throat and nod, "Very well, thank you.".

After that, the problem got solved with Thor telling the team they just followed a lead on a location possibly holding even more weapons. And that wasnt even a lie since they did destroy the remaining weapons they found out about in the torture. So the weeks went on.

Loki became kind of weird. Well, weird for Loki. He started talking to you, randomly and not just in necessary situations. Never anything personal really, but still. But today really topped it all off.

You went to the common room to grab some cold water after your training but insted were greeted with the dark haired god sitting on the sofa, reading an ancient looking book.

"So, Medusa, interesting. I have to admit, I have been thinking what could be linked to such an extraordinary name. There has to be a story behind it.", Loki asks, weirdly curious all of a sudden. You take a few blinks to realize he actually asked you about something personal. "Uh, I cant tell you.", you say a bit too distracted by the tight shirt he is wearing. He tilts his head, raven locks revealing his neck, "Oh do tell darling.". D-darling? You feel heat rising to your cheeks, beeing an assasin you usually dont get nice pet names from others. And coming from Loki? You got butterflies from only that. Oh, youre in trouble...

You shake your head, "No, I mean I really cant tell you, I would if I could.". Now you just fired up his curiousity even more. Damn. That was not your intention but forming words, let alone logical sentences, isnt that easy right now. He sits up, propping his elbows on his thighs, brows tightly knitted trying to figure out what you mean. You planned on going to your room, but you wont walk away from the god of mischief asking you something other than work related. You sit down too, grabbing a pillow from the couch. "Would you please be so kind and elaborate a bit further.", he looks over to you with his brows still furrowed. You sigh, a little louder than you intended, "It is rather complicated I guess. I was captured by Hydra. As you may know, they have inhumane and horrible ways to make people complay. They erased my memorie, wiped us, as my fellow captured and I used to say. I just know that I was 16 when it started, was an assasin pre hydra, my real name is y/n l/n and my cover name Medusa. Those are the informations I have.", you explain as shortly as you can.

His gaze over you shifts a little, its an expression you have never seen before. Not on him at least. He looks as if he has empathy for you?

"That is a rather troublesome past, I appreciate you telling me. However, I still have one more question if you dont mind." Now you furrow your brows, what is there left unanswered? You quickly cover your confusion. Force of habit.

"Oh well, it is what it is. What else do you want to know?", you play cool but lose your shit internally. He nods, "I presume you have not just made that name up, so if there is, I would like to ask the backstory to the name itself." Oh, well thats innocent enough. Still your heart races. Its a subject you spent many sleepless nights over. A weak spot. You know damn well what Medusa is a symbol for, but you dont know if that was your Inspiration too.

"Oh, I see, of course you dont know about that myth. Well, it is really hard to explain since there are a lot of other events that led up to her story. You like to read, right?", you ask him with a shy smile. Maybe you can make him research it on his own. Save yourself the heartache of overthinking again. He raised his brows in a playful manner, holding up the book in his hand, "I would say 'like' is an understatement, but yes. I do.". You huff out a laugh, "Then you probably found the library already. Look for books on greek mythology. My summary would lack a lot of important context." "I have a lot of time on my hands, how about both? Tell me roughly and I will read up on it later.", he smiles sheepishly. It seems luck is not on your side today, so you give a small nod and get it over with.

"There are many versions of her story. However the one I think is my Inspiration, which is not the original but also is mentioned in a few books, is Medusa beeing a priestress to Athena, the goddess of wisdom and battle. The women serving her had to remain virgins and give their life to her. Because of Medusas beauty, the god of sea, Poseidon, took interest in her. Athena and Poseidon were rivals, so he used Medusa to get back at Athena. He humiliated Athena by raping Medusa on the steps of her temple.", you stopped for a second to swallow the lump forming in your throat. "That is a rather gruesome story.", Loki mumbles, not having expected for the story to get that dark, that quickly. You swallow your fears and continue quickly. "Oh yes, but its not over. Poseidon left his victim on the steps, now any normal thinking beeing would expect for Athena to help Medusa." He nods. "That was however not the case, Medusa got cursed by Athena and banished to a far away island. She now looked like an abomination, eyes of stone, chicken legs, metal wings and hair made of snakes. Any beeing who would look upon her would turn to stone. Men traveled the island, chasing and trying to kill her. At some point, her fear turned to anger, she took her revenge on all the men that tried to harm her, turning them to stone. The only way those men could be freed was if Perseus, son of Zeus, beheaded her. As that day came, her blood gave birth to Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor. Athena used Medusas head as a trophy on her shield, protecting against her enemies. The rest of medusas body was layed to rest in the underworld."

You shifted into story telling mode, like you did when you looked after Clints kids once.

"That... You mortals sure have a lot of fantasy for storys like this. Do you think-", he stops, looking up at you, knowing exactly what he is trying to ask. The universe really hates you, your throat closing from surpressing the feeling daring to take over. "That is the question Ive had for years now. I dont know. I dont know if I want to know. I guess it would make sense if I... sympathized with that character. God, I dont know.", you exhaled deeply, gathering yourself. Its hard to talk about this topic, the uncertenty has been eating away at you ever since you rediscovered the story of Medusa. "You do not know, so it is best not to worry. It wont do any good either way. Is this, greek I think you said, mythology an interest of yours?" "Kind of, yes. I have read a lot about it since researching about my name, its really interesting. Confusing sometimes, but very capturing. I suggest you read about Pandora too, its a very fascinating story. Another one is the story of Icarus.", you smile, knowing he purposefully changed the subject. But you are unspeakably grateful he did. "Sounds promising, thank you for the suggestions.", he smiles warmly. You smile and slowly get up. "I have a date with my bed now, I'm exhausted. Have fun reading." "Pleasent dreams, Y/N.", he gives you a nod.

You bite your cheek as you turn around and leave the room. Your knees weak and hands shaky.

You just dont know if you feel this way because of the uncomfortable topic or because of who you were speaking to. All you know is that your in for a ride.

You just know it.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtiggerv2 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh @cakesandtom

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love @vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

Wifey: @plushcrushdoll

#loki laufeyson #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki god of mischief #avenger reader #avenger loki #tbmaw

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rigelmejo · 5 months ago

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I have listened to the first 5 默读 audiobook chapters!

1. Im so hype! That was 1 hour and 15 minutes I just managed to follow the main idea of!

2. I understood the main idea of every scene I heard! Which is a big accomplishment for me. Even reading the chapters ahead of time like I have, in the past it would take me like 5 re-listens to understand what scenes I'm listening to. I did relisten to chapter 1-2 maybe 3 times, then the rest I just listened to once.

3. I understood more details as I listened more. I think partly this is due to my rusty memory (from 6 months not studying) getting jogged so I am now remembering words I knew before, and partly words I knew/know how to read already. I don't think I learned many new words, if any, but listening to the audiobook does gradually seem to be dragging my listening skills up closer to my reading skills. Which is the goal anyway. I want to be able to LISTEN to the audiobooks of things I can read, so I can listen to audiobooks instead when that's what I feel like doing. And there are some pretty awesome chinese audiobooks! Like modu's? They have music, sound effects, crowd noises, atmospheric noises, different voices for characters (all read by one narrator but I quite like the narrator's main voice and range of voice choices: luo wenzhou and fei du in particular i like a lot, but tao ran also sounds level headed, and ma xiaowei sounded so distinct it fit him well, or the slurring messy zhang donglai voice!)

4. I'm seriously so excited. I could tell most of the details when Tao Ran got flowers, and when Luo Wenzhou told him what Fei Du wants isnt friendship, and Tao Ran saying he knows but if... and luo wenzhou telling him to shut up. And the scene where Fei Du tries to pick Tao Ran up and Luo Wenzhou shuts it down and Lang Qiao smells something going on. Also surprisingly I think the part where Luo Wenzhou yells at the citizens (for taking statements) was easier to follow in audio, because you can tell when he's making the call, and you can guess which words are proof/apprehend/previous crime record a bit easier based on how its being talked about. The Ma Xiaowei part also was almost easier to follow in audio, because the voice emotions and sound effects helped convey the descriptions going on. This is, hands down, the best I've understood a chinese audiobook. There were still many unclear details/sentence phrases I did not understand. Dialogue was still the easiest to understand most details in, followed by actions (slammed walked etc) and descriptives using actions (hit the table, paused a moment, glanced at the other, glared and cut in). But in the bigger picture, being able to generally follow which scene I was listening to and the plot was huge. To me.

5. It makes me excited to listen to more. Also it makes me want to listen to the Modu audio drama, since I think I can grasp enough now to follow that too - whereas in some times Ive tried before I couldnt follow dialogue enough to place all the scenes. It also makes me want to listen to the Zhenhun audiobook again - since i tried like a year ago and used to have to relisten a LOT to grasp most scene main ideas of chapters Id already read (and not even all scene main ideas). I bet I could grasp nearly all scene main ideas now, and maybe more details (not all, but more).

6. Advice for my future self: listening more does work, as far as bringing listening skills up closer to reading skills. Since I've started my "listening study" kick about a month ago, I've probably only listened to 15 hours of chinese or less. Like 2 hours mdzs (multiple relistens of chapter 1-3), 4 hours sci, 1.5 hours on modu audiobook (counting the initial chapter relistens), 4 hours chinese spoonfed audio, 3 ish hours listening to modu chapters with TTS as i read (which has text to help me), 1 hour qi hun cdrama. Yeah so like 15.5 hours. And in that short a time I've already remembered a lot of words I knew before, and started recognizing more and more words I know from reading. If that's only 15 hours then how big a difference might 100 hours make? And that's just listening. No special effort. Nothing particularly hard. Maybe relistening, if I feel like it, which I suppose could be slightly hard if I don't love the repetition lol. But sometimes I'm fine with it. Only chinese spoonfed ausio was hard cause i felt bored and couldnt motivate lol. In the big picture its quite fun study and fun to see progress just by having fun. It would be cool to see it pay off too, and make other audio books and audio dramas easier to listen to in the future.

7. Just kind of interesting to me. It kind of feels like being 7-8 and having my dad read stories to me, in that I follow the story but dont know all the words. Or like being a child watching a movie, like at age 4-5. A lot of kids watch their favorite movies like a hundred times, or for years straight, i did. Maybe the first times we watch movies as kids we dont understand all the words. Maybe we just get the gist, and love the story so much we keep watching it again and it gets clearer and thats probably exciting - to understand even more of our favorite movies as kids. Thats kind of what listening to an audiobook feels like now - hearing a story where i get the main idea gist, already know i love it, and so each time i understand a bit more its fun to realize im understanding more.

#rant #progress #modu progress #listening progress

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juni-ravenhall · 1 year ago

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a story or small book or a poem about stuff i thought about

i didnt have any responsible adults in my entire life. i dont have any still now, when im a disabled adult living in poverty. i think a lot about how nice it would be to find some lonely old middle class people who take a liking to me and adopt me as their kid or grandkid since theirs doesnt talk to them much. how much it would help me to have support from anyone.

i was the most bullied kid in my entire elementary school. i never thought of it that way until recently when i randomly said it out loud during a convo on some related topic. after elementary school i was still bullied and isolated and judged, but not always the no.1 victim. i have a lot of damage from how bullied and alone ive always been, including how isolated i am now. i had friends sometimes, but i lost them.

i live in poverty and cant afford a dishwasher or a good bed. my back hurts a lot on top of my other illnesses. i have to wash a lot of dishes and cook a lot of food alone. the bed is uncomfortable. it hurts my back. when my back hurts, it makes it harder to focus, or rest. it makes everything harder than it already is. i cant really think at all on the days when the pain is worst. i stretch. i try. but im also stuck without money inside a small apartment in a bad neighbourhood, and its hard to feel the motivation to do anything.

the wellfare system and the healthcare system doesn't care to help me get healthy. i'm supposed to simply "find a job", even though my resumé is empty with an unexplainable gap of a decade. i dropped out of uni maybe 3 or 5 times. i dont have a degree. i barely made it through highschool. i didnt know that it was mental illness and symptoms of the abuse. i didnt understand that until i was over 20. i still didnt understand that when i tried to do uni, over and over. i kept trying because i am a hopeful person. i tried to learn alone and create alone, too, because i had hope. but hope doesn't get you anywhere if you don't have any support. i know that now.

i think about that im smarter and more knowledgeable and more effective than most people ive ever met who earn 30k sek a month. like the people who yell at me from the wellfare office for asking questions. or the doctors who conclude that i require no treatment despite my obvious disability. or the people making videogames who dont understand anything about game design. i do understand it and i could teach them so much in one hour, if they talked to me. i could make someone a master artist if i taught them for a few weeks. i am fluent in english on top of my native language and understand linguistics and etymology really well. i can read and write in 4 different alphabets at least. one time i composed an original piece of music for my sibling's school project in the span of a few hours of a night, and they told me everyone in their group was amazed that i made something unique for them, from scratch, that quickly.

i don't think that i'm less capable or less skilled or less intelligent or less rational or less efficient, than middle class people. i don't have any proof that this would be the case. the thing i do have proof of is that i have a lot of struggles that come from being a childhood and adulthood abuse victim and bully victim with no support network, with no help, with no money to ask for help. maybe i wouldn't be this damaged today if i had had 15k sek a month for a few years.

i wouldnt even know how to spend 30k sek a month. well, that's not true. i would save it for the future, to stay safe, while also donating to people in my communities, like my tumblr dashboard. that person that often struggles with rent and meds. that person that does emergency commissions. that person with a sick cat. those people, i would give 1000kr each of my 30.000kr salary. if i gave 1000kr to three different poor people every month, i would still have 27.000kr. if my rent and bills were around 10000kr (in a nicer place than now), and i eat food and use hygiene products for around 3000kr, and i buy meds and clothes and bus tickets and small things for around 2000kr, i would still have 12.000kr left. thats pretty much just completely insane. if i saved 12k sek every month, i would have saved more than 100.000kr in one year from my salary, and still given away 1000kr every month to three poor people, and still been able to live happily with food, medicine, bus tickets and cinema visits, and warm clothes in my size.

i could save 12k sek a month, or i could use 2000kr more, to give 1000kr more to two more poor people. for a total of 5 different struggling humans who i could give 1000kr each month. and still save 10.000kr for my future safety. every month. more than 100.000kr savings a year.

the people who earn 30k sek a month in sweden are earning relatively small salaries. there are many who earn 35k, or even 40k, or even more than that. they don't usually give 1000kr a month to 5 different poor people. they also don't usually get therapy, which they can afford, although some do. if i had 10.000kr left just for savings every month, i would get horse therapy, every week. but i might not even have to use the 10k for that. i might be able to cover that partially with the 2000kr i calculated for other spendings. i would be really happy if i could get horse therapy every week.

if you are middle class, you don't live in the same world we do, i don't think. i don't really understand how it works anymore. if you could give 1000kr to 3 or 5 starving people every month, and still save 10.000kr every month, and still live freely and happily and healthily yourself every month. why would you not do that? i think that's why they say "poor people stay poor because we give money away". when we have it, we share it, because we understand how valuable even the smallest sums are. but it's still hard for me to understand how people earning 30k+ sek every month are the majority of this country and how the majority of people are not doing anything similar with their money as what i would do.

my skills, logic or knowledge don't earn me anything. because if you don't have a network, if you don't have support, if you don't have anything, you can't get anything, either.

my only way out is to keep having hope even though i've learnt that hope doesn't actually help me at all, beyond keeping me from killing myself, sometimes. mostly it's the fact that yasmin would be alone that keeps me from it though. because she also has no support, she also doesn't have anything. at least we are together, in the cold without proper winter clothes. at least we are together, when the drug addicts are banging on our window at 4am. at least we are together, wondering how to ever find any means of employment, in a system that's built against us. how to find support in a society where middle class people will tell you that you aren't trying hard enough, while they don't know even how much 100kr is.

112kr is bus tickets back and forth to downtown for two people. that means we can go windowshopping together, or to the library, but we can't buy anything. 200kr means we can go downtown *and* buy a small trinket or a snack. 500kr, means we can go downtown and buy a piece of second hand clothing, or go to the cinema together, or eat a restaurant meal together, one of those things.

1000kr to a poor person every month can help them buy their meds. pay their rent. or to go to the cinema to cheer up, because sitting in a cold small apartment in a bad neighbourhood can make you feel really bad. it doesn't make it easier to work, or easier to study, or easier to get healthier and move up in society. it's really hard to make a "class journey upwards". middle class people seem to not realise that they've been fed propaganda about poor people. i can understand that the upper classes don't know and don't care, because they are horrible unempathetic people all throughout. if you have that much money and don't help the ones less fortunate, or fight the system for us and with us, there is no redemption.

but middle class people, for some reason, it feels as if you should know. as if you should understand how much 100kr is, or how much 1000kr is, or how much 10.000kr is. because you are only one car accident or one severe health problem away from starting to trickle down in class. well, that wouldn't be enough if you have a support network, or if you have a lot of savings, or if you have a loaded family. but over time, with long-term disability, you might lose your middle class. or maybe your sibling does, or your best friend.

it feels as if it shouldn't be that far away from you, that you can't imagine, that you can't understand that some of us right here around you, in your communities, would have our lives changed by having even half of your money every month. the fact that you don't even have to donate a few 100s "instead of" saving it, or "instead of" spending it on games, or on netflix, or on restaurants. you can spend 1000kr on 5 different poor people each month and still have 10.000kr left over just for savings, or for as many gacha tickets as you want, or for trips to spain, if you prefer.

middle class and upper class people's ability to be patrons to those stuck in lower classes without losing any of their own priviledges is just very interesting. i've seen middle class people tell lower class people that their commissions are too expensive. but if you earn 30k sek a month, paying 1000kr for one single commission is actually more or less nothing to you, on average. the same goes for buying products not made in sweatshops. if you have 10.000sek left to save every month, i think you can afford to not support fast fashion, or fast food. poor people are being exploited, ruined and killed to create those products. not for any fault of their own, but because they were born unfortunate. and poor people on your dashboard are unable to pick up their medicines or pay their rents or buy food and warm clothes, not for any fault of their own, but because they were born unfortunate.

we were born without support networks, without responsible and healthy adults around us. we were bullied and isolated in school. we didn't have the opportunity to make "class journeys upward", because we didn't get healthcare or wellfare or other support to help us get through school, or to help pay for it. we didn't have any energy or ability to "network" and lick boots and kiss ass to get special treatment from richer people, even if we wanted to. the bullying and the abuse gave us PTSD, social phobias. reclusiveness. somehow they really don't understand how hard it is to create a network out of nothing, if you have damage from abuse and bullying. how it's not actually your fault that you don't have support. how it's not your fault you didn't just "get better", when the systems are built against you.

i've been a "free psychologist" to many people online for many years. people tell me "nobody understood me that well before", or "wow, that really changed my life". but i'm actually very tired of being a good therapist for no rewards other than seeing people feel better. no payment. and every time i play a videogame, i imagine i could have a sit-down with the developers and outline to them every single thing they could do to improve the game and sell more copies and have happier players. it comes very easy to me. but there is no way to just become a paid psychologist or a videogame fixer out of an empty resumé. i am not able to try to get a uni degree again, because then i would have no money at all for food and rent. so i am here with my empty resumé, without any support, without warm winter clothes in my size. without 1000kr to give to 3 or 5 poor people every month, and 10.000 for savings, for a safe future.

i really don't know what to do anymore, and i don't know how i will ever be able to take a middle class person seriously ever again, either. not if they earn more than 25k sek a month. below that, maybe they still know what 100kr is worth. i'm not sure. but the majority of sweden's working population earns a lot more than that, and has a university degree, because they weren't fucked up so bad that they couldn't finish school. nowadays, i side-eye everyone i see outside, and wonder if they know how much 100kr is worth. i don't think the drug dealers and users in this neighbourhood know how much 100kr is worth. i wish i could have gone into drug dealing, or into drug using. even just drinking. that's what everyone else does in this social class, for a reason. i just had hope that things could be different some day. that if i was responsible and kept trying, things could get better. it doesn't. i don't know if it matters if i spent my wellfare allowance on food or on drugs, or videogames. i don't know if my life will ever get any better regardless. but i spend it on food and medicine and hygiene products, because i have always been responsible, even though it has gotten me nowhere.

another job i could do would be to give middle class and rich people advice on how to spend their money. i would help them both save and invest properly with my knowledge and logic, as well as spending on a healthy mature life for themselves, and investing in their own happiness as well as their family and community's happiness. i could do all of that. it comes easy to me. i think i could be a counsellor. i could be a game designer. i could teach people how to be great artists. i could teach people how to improve themselves. or i could make music and some people would enjoy it enough to pay me for it. there are really many jobs that would come easy to me. everywhere around me that i look, i see people who don't understand as much about the world as i do. who don't know how to improve or how to move forward, when i can see it easily. i don't think that i'm lesser than people who earn 30.000kr a month. i heard that they take coffee breaks and smoking breaks. i heard that they go get sushi for lunch. i heard that you actually even get extra money for healthcare and other things through benefits of your work. i don't know why they don't know how much 100kr is worth.

the doctors told me that there is nothing they can do to help me, but if i pretend that i have autism, i might be able to get more help. because there are systems in place in sweden for people who have autism, and there might be ways for me to get more support and more different kinds of help that way. but i am a responsible person, and i felt that it would be wrong to pretend to have autism if i don't. the help that they said might be possible is also just a "might" or a "maybe". i think i would pretend to have autism if they told me that i would get 30.000kr a month by getting a job through a special programme for autistic people. but i don't know if anything like that would ever happen, so i don't feel comfortable taking a gamble on it. i also feel really angry that the system is like this, and that well-meaning psychologists at the city hospital feel pressured to tell me that the only way they can help me is if i say i have autism.

the only idea i really have for how to not die is to eventually be able to finish making a serious videogame, all alone or with the help of yasmin, or my sibling, or someone i havent met yet. there are people like me, who are creative and analytical, who made very successful videogames alone or almost alone. and i think im a very good game designer, because it comes easy to me. i always know how to fix other people's games, even though nobody asks me to. i know what's wrong: it's usually the same few things. they lack clear direction, in gameplay, art, story, or in everything. they lack a clear sense of their target audience and their desires. they lack understanding of the fundamentals of good game design and what makes games fun and enjoyable and satisfying to play. they lack focus on making the core of the game strong and solid and focus too much on unnecessary things outside of the core gameplay and other pillars of the game. they lack skills in design, or skills in art, or skills in writing. which again comes back to lacking focus, because almost everything is about focus. it's about understanding what the most core things are, what is the most important, both to you and to your audience. it's about pushing design into interesting unique places, or about pushing boundaries for realism, or about limiting your scope to your resources and goals.

when i said i could make someone a master artist by teaching them for a few weeks, it's more or less the same thing. i would teach them that they need to find a core and find focus. they need to push the limits of their art and their ideas, and maybe the limits of the world and society. to focus on shapes and colours and feelings and pushing extremes, while also learning fundamentals of anatomies and perspectives and layouts just to back up the important parts. or if they just want to make ugly vectors for a boring company for 30.000sek each month, i would teach them to focus only on improving those skills necessary for that and to have a full understanding of what their niche means and what the market is like for them. i would also teach them that they can still push their personal limits and make interesting work even if they have a job making ugly art for a boring company, if they wanted to. i would teach them how to market and advertise their art. most of everything is just about focus and about cores and about disregarding useless things. those kinds of things come easy to me. i think it doesn't come easy to most people i see that earn 30.000kr a month. i could even be their therapist to help them stop feeling inferior about their art or stop having impostor syndrome. i understand how the world works and i'm able to teach others about it, if they want to listen.

the biggest evil in the world is expansion, the concept of expansion. our planet and our societies are going to be destroyed because of expansion, and we are hurting today, especially those of us in lower classes, because of expansion. the opposite of expansion is to make smaller and make less. the balanced version is to sustain. if the rich people stopped expanding, the planet and its poor people would do so much better. if we started sustaining instead of expanding, we would be good on our way, and if we started lessening, we could reverse most problems we have.

expanding comes in many forms, everywhere, all the time. when you want to have more money even though you already have enough to live a healthy, safe and happy life, that's expansion. when a company wants to make more money this month than last month, even though its owners have enough money to live a happy life, that's expansion (unless their only purpose in making more money is to help society in some way). when a government wants more land, that's expansion. i could really go on, but almost every evil in the world is expansion at its core. it's about someone wanting to get richer, someone wanting more priviledges, and that someone is someone who doesn't need it, someone who already has it. a company who already has it. a billionaire who already has it. a government who already has it.

i understand a lot about fixing the world. i understand that solving homelessness is possible and would logically be a good investment for societies. i understand that keeping people poor and exploiting them is a way for powerful people to stay powerful. i understand that nobody who has power or money actually wants to help fix the world, because it wouldn't benefit them personally. i understand that those of us who do want to fix the world never get the resources to do so, and won't receive funding from the people who don't want it fixed. i also understand that if i became a politician, i would get death threats. my life would be even harder than it is now. i don't have the option to gamble with my safety like that, when i can't even afford warm winter clothes in my size. it's also not the very easiest job for me. the very easiest would be game designer. the second easiest would be counsellor. politician comes a bit later. i think it would be nice to perform a job that's easy for me and earn 30.000kr every month.

i have a hard time focusing on creating things these days, or focusing on learning things that would help me, like programming. i know a bit of programming, and i know the logic of it very well. i could map out the way the code should work on paper. but learning all the phrases and exact ways of putting it together takes a lot of effort from me, and with my disability it's difficult to do that. i used to draw a lot, and i studied animation very deeply for some years. i read everything about the history of animation that i came across, and about all the fundamentals, the ideas, the ways to make good animation. different mindsets, some that i agree with and some that i don't. i don't think that good animation has to be smooth, or anatomically correct, or correct in perspective. i think anything can be great if it's done with a lot of feeling and honesty and genuinity. you have to have focus. you have to know what your core is, and what the core of your animation is, what the core of each movement, each action, and each scene is. the core of each character. the core of the story, and the colour palettes. the feelings and the motifs. i don't agree that it matters if its two frames or thirty frames. the part that's going to blow people away is the feeling and the extremes. the wild bold colours, or the extremely minimal colours. the massive movements, or the nuanced tiny ones. the ones that tell a story, or the ones that give you a feeling and a sensation without a story. the ones that are anatomically correct and twenty-four frames per second are never going to matter to anyone if they don't feel like anything. that's what i think.

most things are about focus and cores and about not wasting resources on the wrong things. it's about not expanding in the wrong direction. things that come easy to me. if i had the energy, if my back didn't hurt so much, if i could buy sushi for lunch, i would make the best horse videogame in the entire history of the world. i would get more than 30.000kr per month for it, and i would give 1000kr each to 3 or 5 poor people every month to help them with their rent, or their meds, or their sick cat. i would be the responsible adult in my life who has got my back, who can support me, who can help me, and i would be that adult for others. i would pay to go to horse therapy every week, and i would still be able to save 100.000kr every year, and i would be safe, and i would be happy.

#personal #nonhorsgaem

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gaypleasantview · 2 years ago

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5,6, 15,17 and 31 for the baseic summer ask!

thanks!!!

5 - current favorite mod

i've actually discovered so many great ones for ts2 recently! i don't remember most off the top of my head but the ones i can say im super impressed with are the favorite color mod and its add-ons that make various objects different colors depending on what sim likes (sorry i cant link it because im on my phone and its a bit hard lol but if anyone needs any links i'll find them!) i was also blown away with some other things like: the asexual trait, the mod that lets you pick sim's reproduction options, werewolves get matching hair colors when they turn, pick your wand, spectral cat breeds, and of course the overlays like body hair and tattoos!!! i haven't even tried most of them yet but just the fact that you can do so many new things in this game are super exciting lol. i also feel the same way about ts1, there's even less mods of course but whenever there are new gameplay features i find it so sexc even if i never play it lol just reading about it and seeing pics feels like being reborn

6 - current favorite cc creator

ahhh so many!! if i were on my laptop i would probably actually look up who i have most in my folders but im not feeling like it rn so off the top of my head i can say ive been really into platasp things recently they're awesome!! im also super impressed by things jacky93 creates and im in love with monilisasims for all the awesome momma lisa content!! i won't tag them because im shy but i promise to tell them i love them next time i see them. there's also a creator i really love but im super embarrassed because i can't find their page but once i do im probably gonna spam it to make up for that

15 - how many hours have you spent playing the sims?

more than i could ever recall, earliest proof of me playing is dated either 2004 or 2005 i don't remember but either way i have been hooked since really badly. i assume my most played game is either ts2 or ts3, i played ts1 a lot as well ofc bc it's my favorite game and as for ts4 hasn't been as much but i did have at least two families i played for two generations so i think that's decent. the game i think i like the most in terms of playability is ts3, aside from the lagging rip

17 - in your gameplay, are you more task-driven or story-driven?

im gonna be honest with you. because of adhd i really need to feel motivated to do something esp play something so whether i play a story or just for the fun of it i need to also set gameplay goals so it's complicated lol and it also means i generally play with a story in mind and that keeps me going. and i love love love legacy challenges

31 - tag & give a shoutout to a simblr you really enjoy seeing posts from

im a fan of everyone i follow tbh but i seriously appreciate so much how i get to interact with you @profesionalpartyguest and with @annieshowell and @socialbunny on here you all make me feel happy thanks a lot!!

#sim ask things #profesionalpartyguest

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eulangelo · 3 years ago

Text

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ]

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post.

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with.

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

#genderfluidlucifer #transmisogyny tw #terfs tw #ask to tag #txt #long post #ok to rb

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secretsniper2 · 3 years ago

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Late for Class..

“Im going to be late! Again! Why cant I wake up on time, stupid alarm clock, Im breaking it when I get home I swear!”

Its my usual response really, but I already know full well why I stay up so late, last night I tried to cum for 4 hours before I finally gave up and went to sleep, I just cant seem to manage a single orgasm, all I do is edge and make the throbbing worse! What's wrong with me? I was in such a rush Im only wearing a Simple plaid skirt with pink panties and thin white top with a poorly chosen black bra that shows clearly through my even poorer choice of top, tight 3 inch boots on my legs, A single tear flies off my eye as I rush to the station, I don't want to miss my train today or I really will be late for class.

Dashing through the station, my long brown hair flowing behind me as I make my way to the platform, Its packed, Ill be lucky to get a seat, odds are ill be standing today but at least I made it in time, “Might make it to classes after all.” I think to myself with a smile. Train arrives and I brace for the rush, and as the doors open Im pushed by other commuters into the train and soon enough were all packed in like sardines, barely room to myself I notice that Im being pushed up into someone larger than most in this carriage. He is tall, 2 full heads taller than me, Brown hair and large beard, his green eyes looking down and not just into my own green eyes, but seemingly through them, staring at me harder than any other has before.

The people everywhere still fighting for more space pushes me further into this man as our eyes still locked onto each other as my chest presses into his and i can feel my nipples starting to get harder under my bra, Im still aroused from my poorly timed marathon last night and this man seems to have figured my arousal out, his arm moves around me and pulls me even closer as his other arm moves between us and touches my stomach with his big warm hands.

Still locking eyes with me my mouth opens slightly as I feel his hand begin to slide down my leg and twist up my skirt, fingers crazing my slick thighs, and moments later caressing them, his fingers are being coated in my shame from last night. Sliding up my juice coated thighs his hand continues up till he cups my sex, Im soaked, dripping and desperately needy, moaning instantly into the gaze of this man the second he touched my pussy, my thin pink panties might as well not even be there since I soaked them through completely as his hands were trailing up my thighs before he even touched my wet sex.

A finger peels my useless panties off my pussy as I feel 2 fingers touch my clit and begin to rub, forcing louder moans as I break eye contact as his other hand, which had been holding me closer launches over my mouth and silences me before anyone could take notice to the moan, good think too as his massaging of my clit is making me moan harder and harder without stopping and it only took this man 12 seconds to bring me to a solid edge, it takes me much longer to get my edging started but this man..

Another edge hits as his fingers rub around my labia as he scratches at my clit constantly, dragging fresh moans from my face I feel him pushing a thick finger into my pussy slightly, seeming to test my pussy, its a tight fit, he knows Im a virgin now for sure, only a virgin is this tight to a single finger and I close my eyes as the idea of being raped on this crowded train as my first time slaps me with a edge on its own..

The movements of the train barely phase this man as his hand remains locked to my soaked pussy, his finger curled under pressing a knuckle into my nervous hole as his fingertip flicks at my clit, Im being overloaded, its far more intense than what iv ever done to myself and this man has only been in sexual contact with me for little over a minute and iv edged 4 times now.. 5 times now, his finger wont stop scratching at my clit, while his remaining fingers massage my labia from the base of my pussy to where my clit sits, Im being tortured and no one here is aware because a small girl is being gagged by a hand!

Constant stimulation has reduced my pussy to a source of ever flowing juices as my inner thighs are soaked down to my knees, if my boots weren't nice and tight id likely be standing on my toes in boots filled with proof of my arousal, thankfully they remain tight and my feet are dry inside though Im still being edged while standing on my toes almost making my legs give out beneath me. My juices flowing down my boots and pooling between my feet and the streams on my legs and the constant droplets from the mans hand keep expanding my puddle of need! I hate how turned on I am!

Pulling up to a station at last, I have 4 stops till I get to mine as I look back into this mans eyes, he still staring down, studying my expression and face as his other hand raises from my hand and a finger pushes past my lips and I instantly begin to swirl my tongue around it, I cant stop myself at this point as I suck hard on the finger rubbing my tongue as I moan in bliss as i hit edge after edge, as my head starts to shift back and forth, Im now giving this finger a blowjob and I cant stop myself, Im being swallowed in pleasure.

Another station and I slam into my 15th edge, my mind is in a haze as I drool as my head bobs back and forth on his finger with enthusiasm Im embarrassed Im showing someone who is essentially drugging me with my own arousal! My eyes unfocused as I feel his gaze still burning onto my face as my head drones on his finger, tongue working the underside of his finger as the suction Im giving is pulling my cheeks in on the draw back, my clit being rubbed to another mind breaking edge as we pull into another station and more people leave and enter the train. 2 stops to go, if I can even bring myself to go by then! And as i get to another edge the man leans in, removes his finger and locks his lips to mine, his tongue launching in and kissing me deeply, his saliva covered hand moving behind my head holding me in his kiss.

Making out with this man in brought to another edge quickly followed by another edge as the kiss goes in I melt into this man, legs going limp as I slam into another edge, my eyes fluttering as the man releases my mouth from his probing kiss as his finger drives back in and pulls against my jaw so Im forced to look back as he draws my focus as he pinches my clit before removing his pussy scented hand and licking his glossy fingers. Doors open and Im immediately pulled from the train, 1 stop early but the man doesn't care, his hand behind my head had lowered to my waist when the door had opened as he leads me out the train and through the station.

Walking out to the street the man directs me to the parking lot and a large van unlocks as we approach, I slow my pace but am met with a strong arm still wrapped around me as Im almost dragged to his van. Opening the side door I look around, 1 single seat with multiple bolts around the van, Pushing me into the seat Im quickly tied to the seat as i sit open mouthed in shock, the situation still not beating out my haze completely. Opening my mouth to voice something, anything, a cry for help, a plea for my safety, but as my mouth opens a finger dives in, its the same finger that was rubbing my throbbing clit earlier, I can taste my pussy on his fingers, smell the pure need I left on him.

“You don't say a fucking word, understood?” The man growls with a deep voice, echoing in my head I nod pathetically as his finger withdraws and a ring gag is pushed into my still open mouth, ensuring that my mouth stays open as drool quickly starts to pool in my mouth and flow through my ring and onto my thin white shirt.

Hopping in the drivers seat the man starts the van and we go for a drive, I cant see much outside the front windshield as the interior has been covered in padding to keep any silly screams for help between us 2 in the van. Tears start to form in my eyes as the man looks in the mirror and sees me dead centre of his view, he raises a remote and presses it and I jump in my bondage, my seat is vibrating! its formed in such a way my entire pussy is resting on a new vibrating pad, Im being forced to ride a vibrator while the man continues to drive, chuckling as I moan aloud, drool flowing onto my covered chest, the thin top soaking and sticking to me it almost fades when wet so it looks like Im not even wearing a shirt now!

10 minutes? 20? I don't know, the haze has returned as Im forced into more edges, and hearing a occasional chuckle I know when the man looks at me in his mirror as I lazily look around the van or up to meet his gaze when he drinks in my situation, was this all planned by him or was my abduction a spur of the moment thing? I don't know, and I cant ask with this ring in my mouth, only moan as I hit another edge and drool onto my generous breasts.

Pulling into a alleyway the man shuffles back and grabs my phone, Asking for the password i have little choice but to give him access and he starts going through my personal info, Smiling as he reads 1 of my bank statements.

“Looks like your going to be in debt a while Anna!” He says with a smile forcing a pathetic growl from my open mouth.

Reading my phones diary he goes into my private notes and laughs out loud and I hear him say the diary title “Orgasm Attempts” and my face burns red, Never having experienced a orgasm in my life for some unknown reason and now this man knows and I cant stop him!

“Lets run a test then! since were already in a nice place!” He says as Im untied from the still vibrating seat and the door is opened, thrown out of the van I notice Im not even in the city we took the train to, he's taken me somewhere I don't know! As the man follows he grabs my arm and lifts me up casually and spins me around and pushes my face against the alley wall, Hearing a zipper open i start resisting in earnest and Im rewarded for my resistance by hearing rapid clicking and something cold wrapping around my wrist, having my arm pulled behind my back then more cold clicking on my other wrist..

Iv been handcuffed! I cant push off the wall, I cant push him away! Im as helpless as a child and can do about as much as 1. Feeling my skirt get raised up and tucked into itself my ass is on display, pink thong parting my firm cheeks as he runs a thick finger down the band and pulls my thin layer of fabric and only cover aside and a monstrous pressure hits my asshole, his cock is lined up and my butt is about to take a beating. With ring gag still in my mouth i bite down as pain flows through me, my tight ass has only ever had small plugs and occasional finger enter but now Im taking a 4 finger thick rod in my ass my eyes are watering fast!

Blinking back tears as a moan scream combo rushes out as he thrusts hard and slams into me, his balls slapping my soaked pussy as Im impaled by a solid dry cock, and to my shame I hot another edge as he bottomed out, pulling back drew out another sound, I felt like i would throw up when he quickly thrust back in, raping my tight ass in a alleyway where anyone could see us, as his balls continue slapping my cunt as im fucked harshly to another edge.

Im crying out, the first thrust was excruciating, the following 5 were horrendously painful but now Im feeling pleasure, Im being raped and Im starting to moan as he works me over with his cock, his thrusting speeding up and I know what's coming next, and Who is cumming next since its never been me in my life! Heat bursts into my tight, freshly deflowered ass, feeling hot like lava I cry out as I edge as Im filled, my pussy drooling with need and unfulfilled pleasure as my ass takes his cum all the way inside me, his balls tensing as he pumps more and more cum inside.

Spinning me around and pushing me into the van once again the man rummages around while I lay there, spasming with a full ass and desperate cunt, I feel something press into my ass again and it slides in easily, too easily to be his cock.. Its a plug! my ass has been filled with his cum and is now being plugged to keep me full! why would this man plug me? I turn to get my answer but hes already pushed me into the van and hops in after me, his hard cock swinging between his legs. It felt massive in my ass but its not as big as i thought, definitely larger than average by a full 2 sizes it isnt a monster to break me with, thankfully since if it was any bigger my ass would have torn for sure!

Mouth still open and drool flowing out and stuck to my face and hair he pulls me forward and my mouth lands right where he wants me to land, with my hands cuffed behind my back I cant stop or slow my fall as his entire length, which would go from my elbow to my wrist is now passing the ring and my throat parts as my momentum causes me to deepthroat him right at the start, my tongue thrashing around on the cock in my mouth, his tip in my throat I gag painfully but helplessly. I feel his hand run through my hair as I continue to swallow his cock in a long dive down, he grips my hair at the base and pulls me up and almost entirely off.

Im coughing painfully instantly as he then releases my head and I drop once again to the base of his cock and then once again having my head grabbed by his hand at the base of my hair he then begins to use my head as a fleshlight, a toy I cant avoid being used as at this point, my mouth being full of his cock and before too long Im pushed to the base, his length in my throat as i feel his balls tensing and Im rewarded for my unwilling blowjob with a stomach full of cum being pumped in my throat. Being bulled off his still rigid cock a dildo gag is pushed in my mouth and locked in, Im being forced to deepthroat another cock, at least this 1 cant cum...

Securing me to my seat Im once again sitting with my pussy firmly planted on the vibrating pad, and in seemingly no time at all Im forced to the edge once again, my haze ever present, iv been drowning in pleasure since I woke up, and this mans actions have shaken me, even when used by someone else I really cant cu, I tear up at that realization as we drive off yet again. My view limited again after another 20 or so minute drive with another 30 or so edges Im far beyond any daily edge count iv had before, pulling up to a random alley once again Im untied and the gags are removed from my mouth.

“See you on the train tomorrow.” The man says as Im pushed from the van and he drives away, Spit covered shirt with black bra still visible and my skirt still tucked in exposing pushed aside panties and bald bare pussy and thick plug in my ass I return everything to its usual place then look around to get my bearings. Im a block away from my Uni, a few hours late for sure and no longer caring for the class I clearly missed I might as well just go home, but ill need a new shirt before I go since this shirt is barely a shirt now.

Dashing into a clothes store and a few minutes later leaving in a cheap shirt with my soaked shirt in a bag I leave for the station I intended to reach far earlier today, Hopping on a train and start my hopefully peaceful trip back home I sit in a vacant seat and relax, my ass clenching on the plug he left in me and I know the second I remove it ill be spilling cum everywhere so Ill have to choose a more secluded place, Glancing up my eyes widen and I see him, Sitting on the other end of the carriage, green eyes trained on mine as he sits, and waits unmoving.

5 Stops then its mine and I watch him carefully, Is he planning on assaulting another girl like he did me? Why cant I bring myself to call him out? 4 stops remaining. I should hit him or kick him, he raped me and even plugged my throbbing ass! 3 stops remaining. I should tell someone, there are girls all over this train and they would help me right? 2 stops remaining. Whatever he does ill stop him, I cant let what happened to me happen so someone else.. even though they get his.. cock and get to cum.. why couldn't I cum? why cant I ever cum? 1 stop remaining. Sitting in my seat my hand idly slides under my skirt, my wet shirts bag hiding my action as I begin rubbing my still throbbing clit to another edge, “I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” i think over and over in my head as my finger traces circles around my slick clit and another edge until.

Doors open and I jump up, the man following suit, I step off the train onto my station and the man does the same on the other end of the carriage.. What's his game? I cant go home if hes following me, I don't want this man knowing where I live! But what choice do I have here, If I don't go home and he follows me I could be in real trouble, in my own home town..

I take off running from the man who only walks after me, Its 5 blocks of zig zagging and a lot of looking back but I loose him quickly. “cant keep up if all you do is walk!” I think to myself as I unlock my front door, enter than lock everything I can lock to secure my home and I take a deep breath, Windows and doors all locked I take another breath, my ass throbbing after running while plugged like this I retreat to the shower and work the plug out. The second it comes out the cum follows, “he really filled me” I think as i turn the shower on, taking my clothes off to clean myself up.

Getting changed I don't feel very hungry.. considering the “Meal” I had earlier I just go to bed early, Resting my throbbing ass is all I need to focus on and that needs sleep.

Tossing and turning in a light sleep, the scenes from today keep replaying in my head, the arousal, the amount of edges I was forced to experience, the taste of his cum on my tongue, the pleasure.. it felt good, I cant lie about that much. Feeling the bed shift i simply readjust in my bed when a hand presses on my mouth. My eyes shoot open as Im staring back into those same green eyes..

With his other hand pulling my initially fresh and dry panties off my body, my imagination replaying the events from earlier soaking them thoroughly he grabs my leg and raises it high, his cock once again levelled with me he rubs it over my soaking pussy and thrusts a few times, coating his cock in my shame he aims once again for my tight recently emptied ass and pushes hard.

“Nice home you have here” He says in his deep voice as he pulls my raised leg back and so pulling me further onto his cock. “I think ill stay a while, show you a few fun things, teach you a few other things” He says with a smile as he thrusts hard and I feel his cock drive deep once again. “Tomorrow Im going to feed you a refreshing cum cocktail, you'll learn to love it, or not, its all you'll be drinking from now on anyway!” He laughs! My pleasure at its peak my mind cant believe whats going on, I black out in a mix of fear, pleasure and shock. I think Im going to miss my next few classes too..

#Stories #Custom

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peakyblinded · 2 years ago

Note

Hi Mikey Anon here 👋🏻

Yh I get that fan and gif pages will watch and I will enjoy the content you all provide but yh I can’t sit through another tragedy even if it’s pretty plus Finn cole probably wont be in it and those that are will be wasted. Tbh if they hadn’t killed ruby off (for no reason) I could have seen it being a story about the grown up Shelby kids.

Welcomes 🥰 I think a lot of the way media represents mental health is unhealthy but some people see representation as automatically good which can make it harder to call out the bad.

THANK YOU tbh I just think Daryl is a nice person and some of his projects are interesting. I am also a Finn cole girl it’s the first thing I ever saw him in, I also like joe Iv been a fan since skins. I’m glad you’ve got an interest in Sophie and James and I hope they both have good careers from here on. Iv seen Sophie in a few things she’s soo good.

Bruh AGAIN YOU’RE RIGHT!! Like what was the point in duke ESPECIALLY this late in the series. When I read up on Conrad’s casting I thought he was gonna be an interesting addition because his previous work was well received but duke was an unneeded character. Also why turn Finn Shelby into the enemy what was that about? I feel like so much of 5&6 needs a giant question mark over it because why.

Its so irritating knowing how good S5 & 6 could have been because we’ve seen proof of the quality and yet *someone* gave it all up for hype and a movie. It was like the worst bits of Maximalism and the worst bits of minimalism combined to make something overly complicated and hard to follow but with absolutely no depth or complexity to it at all.

ngl i'm really starting to like you, mike 😏

and i'm so sorry it took me so long to reply this time. i have no excuse tbh, i just... you know, life

THE LAST PARAGRAPH OMG i couldn't agree more! they tried too hard to be more than they needed to be, and in all of that the show kinda lost what it was all about and i will forever mourn that.

the movie will be no better. i really hope i'm wrong, but honestly i don't think i am. and if the movie god forbid is better than the last couple of seasons it is NO EXCUSE for what steven has put us through.

#mikey anon #ask #i've said this before and i'll say it again #NOT ONLY DID THE CHARACTERS DESERVE BETTER SO DID WE AS AN AUDIENCE

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pascalscenarios · 4 years ago

Text

THE ONE (Frankie Morales x Reader)

THE ONE

Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You wake up at Frankie’s house. You spend the day with him, only for things to be finally revealed.

Warning: Swearing

Words: 4552

Authors Note: Whew... You guys aren’t ready for this one...Ahhh!!! Also I just want to say thank you so much for reading my fic. It means so much to me! Enjoy - k

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5

Chapter 5

The sunlight peeked through the window, shining down on the bed. Your hair was a mess, sprawled out and disheveled as your head rested against pillows. A white comforter covered your body. You slowly open your eyes to an unfamiliar bedroom. You should have felt scared or panicked when waking up in a stranger's bed, but you felt safe.

You could smell him on the sheets, it was Frankie's bed. You were at Frankie's house.

You laid there trying to remember the events from last night. You were partying with your friends in the club and somehow you ended up with Frankie? Your memories were blurred, only remembering bits and pieces.

You sit up in the bed, your head pounding. Looking down you noticed you were wearing an oversized grey shirt and sweatpants. These definitely weren’t the clothes you wore last night.

You look over to the nightstand to find two Advils and a tall glass of water. You pull the covers off from your body, tossing your legs off the side of the bed. You pop the pills in your mouth and chug down the water.

With the glass in your hand, you get up and walk over and open the bedroom door. The door led to a hallway with multiple other doors. Towards the end of the hall was a large opening, you assumed it was the living room because you heard that the tv was on.

Your feet padded against the wooden floors as you made your way to the living room. The local news was playing on the tv.

“Looks like sleeping beauty decided to wake.”

You gasped. Startled, you turn around to find Frankie leaning against the kitchen counter with a coffee mug in his hand.

“H-hi” you stuttered out.

“Good morning.”

Awkwardness and silence filled the air like usual.

You slowly walk into the kitchen, passing him to get to the sink. You set the glass down in the stainless steel tub and turn to face him. He was staring at you while sipping his coffee, waiting for you to say something.

You stared down at your fingers as you fiddled with them. “Frankie..”

You swear he could read your mind because he started explaining everything that happened last night. He knew you were most likely confused as to why you were at his house.

“You called me last night drunk.” He says placing his coffee mug down on the counter. “You were lost and didn’t know where you were. I’m pretty sure you meant to call Alex, but somehow you called me? I came to pick you up, took you to eat at Dolly's. I was going to take you home, but I don’t know where you live and you were sleeping, so I brought you back to my place.” He explains running his hands through his moppy curls.

“I gave you clothes for you to change into, you took a shower, and slept in my bed. I took the couch.” He motions his head in the direction of the living room.

You look over, seeing a pillow and blanket bunched up on the couch.

“You know I would never-”

“I know, Frankie.” You tell him softly. “I trust you. I always have.” Your heart wrenched. The fact he drove all the way into the city in the early hours of the morning and took care of you meant a lot to you. It was proof that despite what happened between you two, he would always be there for you.

“So… “ He says trying to change the subject. “How’d you get my number?”

God this was going to be embarrassing.

Your face started to turn red as you spoke “Santiago gave it to me. I told him once a couple of years ago I wanted to call you. I’ve tried many times to press call under your name, but I always got scared and chickened out.” you confessed.

“Funny, I did the same thing too, asking him for your number, but never calling.” He chuckled, folding his arms against his chest.

“Huh...you know for the past 10 years I thought you’d never think of me again after that night.” You say you continued to fiddle with your fingers.

“I thought about you every day since then, Smiles. You were always on my mind...you still are.”

You glance up at him. Your heart was beating against your chest at his statement.

You both make eye contact. God, those gorgeous brown eyes that always made you melt. You were a sucker for his eyes, they were captivating. You could always read him from the look in his eyes. His eyes were sorrowful, but also longing.

You quickly divert your eyes breaking you from the trance you were in. What are you doing?! You’re going to get married! You can’t be thinking so deeply about someone else, let alone someone being your ex-boyfriend. Snap out of it!

“So why are your plans for the day?” Making conversation and acting like you guys didn’t have a moment just then. You walked past him and went to go sit on his couch.

“Uh, I don’t know.” He says trailing off, following you, plopping himself down on the opposite side of the couch, giving you some space.

“I was gonna drop you off at home whenever you are ready then go fishing out on the lake for a bit” he picks up the remote and starts flipping through the channels. He stops when he notices Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope is airing on tv.

You didn’t want to go home just yet. A few weeks ago you were dead set on avoiding Frankie, but something changed. You wanted to be in his company and spend time with him, at least for today.

“Can I go with you?” you asked.

“Go with me?” He sounded confused.

“Yeah...I mean like spend the day with you...go fishing?”

“You’re hungover and want to go fishing...with me…?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Um...yeah?”

“Don’t you wanna go home?”

“I mean if you want me to leave I can-”

“No!” he said a little too quickly. He clears his throat. “No, you can stay as long as you want, it's just” he stops. “Several weeks ago you were pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me. You said things between us weren’t fine, we weren’t on friendly terms, and for me to stop wedging my way into your life.”

“I mean it’s a little too late for that now, you managed to crack your way in.” You sighed.

“Have I?”

“You were always a constant in my life until you weren't. You were the closest person to me besides Santiago. So naturally for me, as much as I want to push you away, I’m also drawn to you... You’re familiar. Since you came back into my life, you’ve been on my mind a lot lately..” you opened up to him.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I don’t know... That I’ve missed you, despite everything. Think it would be therapeutic for us to talk and hang out for a day.”

Frankie stayed silent.

“Okay,” he nods, giving you a small smile.

…

You were getting ready to leave with Frankie. You didn’t have anything else to wear, so you decided to just continue wearing his shirt and sweats. It was that or the outfit you wore last night. You patiently waited for Frankie in the living room as he gathered things he needed. You walked over to the front door, grabbing your bag that sat on the small. You reached into your bag pulling your phone out.

Your phone had TONS of text messages and missed calls from your friends and Alex. Your finger sliced against your phone screen noting the long list of notification banners. They had no idea what happened to you last night or where you were. They were worried, thinking the worst possible things that could have happened to you.

You opened your phone, pressing the call icon. Looking at your call log, you noticed you did call Frankie last night. Shaking your head, you clicked contacts, and pressed on Alex’s name. You pressed the phone against your ear.

The call picked up

“Alex-”

“THANK GOD! Where are you?! Are you okay?! The girls were looking for you all night, I was so close to calling the cops! I thought something terrible happened to you!” Alex was worried.

“I’m sorry, I got lost, but I’m fine,” you reassured them.

“Let me come get you, where-”

“Actually, I’m not coming home yet…”

“What? Why? What's wrong?” Alex asked, he thought you were being suspicious.

“I just need time alone…” You lied. I mean you did want to be alone... but with Frankie.

“Time alone? What I’m confu-”

“Alex, I promise you fine. I’m safe….I just need to be alone right now. I’ll explain everything later. I love you. I gotta go”

“Wait-”

You quickly hang up the phone and put your phone back in the bag.

You put your phone back in the bag. You didn’t want to tell him what happened over the phone. It was better to tell him everything in person. You’re debating if you wanted to tell him you were hanging out with Frankie. What he doesn’t know wouldn’t kill the right?

You decided to walk around the room, looking at the various knick-knacks and miscellaneous items Frankie had displayed on his shelves. There were photos of Frankie with his friends and family members, people you recognized. A framed photo caught your eyes. It was a child's painting, with various bright colors brushed on the sheet. In the middle was a handprint of a small child, and one of a grown person.

You continue to walk around the room when you accidentally step on something. You lift your foot, noticing a sterling silver ring on the ground. It was a dainty ring of a crescent moon.

Girlfriend, you thought. You remember him talking to someone on the phone the night with Santiago. It had to be a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend and he brought you home while you were drunk? That’s not good. Yet again you are engaged and here you are spending time with your ex-boyfriend.

But nothing was gonna happen with Frankie. You both hand significant others. You guys were friends… Well sorta. You weren’t sure what to call this relationship.

“You ready?”

You look at him. He was wearing his hat, shirt, jeans, boots, and a backpack hanging off one shoulder. He was also wearing a fisher vest, which made you giggle slightly. Frankie was always a nature boy.

“Yeah.”

“What’s that?” He asks nothing you holding the ring in your hand

“Um, a ring. I found it on the carpet.” You say walking over and handing it to him.

He signs. “I swear she leaves everything everywhere...” he mumbles under his breath, but you couldn’t hear what he said because it was so quiet. He sets the ring on the coffee table.

“Alright let's go,” he says.

…

The lake was peaceful. The water slowly moved. Nothing but sounds of nature. It was calming and relaxing. You and Frankie sat in a small boat out in the middle of the lake. Frankie placed a worm to hook his fishing rod. He stood up, casting his line far out, then sat back down.

You sat there with a fishing rod in your hand patiently for something to bite.

“It’s nice today.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“You must love it out here. This is very you.” You chuckle slightly.

“I try to come when I can. They have a camping site, so I’ll come out on a weekend and camp sometimes.”

“Usually I’ll come here to think.”

“Think about what?”

He shrugged, reeling in his line slightly. “It depends. Sometimes I’ll come to think about stuff like what's going on in my life. Sometimes I’ll think about the past.”

Silence fell between the two of you.

“Hey, Frankie…”

“Yeah?”

“The questions I ask you today, can you be open and answer them honestly? I know that might be asking a lot but-”

“Okay…”

“Really?” You were a bit surprised. I mean he had been honest with you, but only really scratching the surface. You wanted to dig deeper.

“Only if you do the same.”

“Deal.” You smile. “ Did ever come out here to think about me?”

“Plenty of times, Smiles.”

“So, when did you get discharged from the military? I remember you telling Alex you fly cargo?”

“I got discharged a little while after I left. I got my pilot's license suspended for a bit. I managed to get it back and started piloting for a cargo company about 5 years ago.” He reeled him his line, then stood out to cast it again.

“Did you ever get that job you wanted, the one at the magazine company?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Good for you. I knew you could do it. I remember you being so nervous when you did your interview.”

You chuckle slightly at the memory. “Yeah, it was such a mess then, but apparently liked me. It’s a great job. It’s funny actually, Alex’s tech company is in the same building. Our mutual friend introduced us to each other. We were friends for a while, then started dating two years ago.”

You were curious about his girlfriend. He never mentioned her. I mean the phone call at Santiagos and the ring at his house, he had to have a girlfriend.

“How about you? How long have you and your girlfriend been together?”

“My what? Girlfriend? I don’t-”

“Woah!” You said as you jolted forward your hands gripping your fishing pole. You quickly stand up as the fish keeps tugging aggressively on the end line.

“Reel it in Smiles!”

You pull up on the rod as you quickly cranked the reel handle.

“Oh my gosh!” You laugh trying your hardest to reel in the fish.

“Come on, keep going you go!” Frankie cheered you on.

You reeled the last of your line. The fish flew out of the water as you helped the fishing rod up high.

“Alright Smiles!” Frankie laughed as he set his fishing rod into a holder, he stood up quickly and grabbed your line, holding the fish up. You had caught a Bass.

“This one's pretty big!” Frankie grabbed the fish from the bottom of its amount as he unhooked the fish from the line.

“You wanna hold it?” he extends the fish towards you.

“No way! I’m not touching that!” you say moving your body away.

“Come on smiles, you gotta hold a fish you caught!” He says bring the Bass closer to you.

“Frankie! No! Stop!” you protested as you turned away.

“Give your hands,” he says holding his hand out.

“Frankie...”

“Come on, it’s just a fish.”

You sigh holding your hands out. Frankie placed the Bass in your hands. You slightly squeeze its body, making sure you have a grip on the fish. The was Bass was cold, the scales poked the palms of your hands slightly, and it felt slimy.

“See, not so bad!”

The fish began to move, wiggling back and forth in your hand. You let out a yelp, letting out a shriek as you quickly give it back to Frankie.

Frankie busts out laughing as he takes it from your hands.

“That’s not funny!” You shove him as you laughed slightly.

“Stop being such a wimp! It’s just a fish!” He chuckles.

“I told you I didn’t want to hold it!”

“How about you give it a kiss then?” He moves it towards you.

“Stop it! Frankie!”

“It wants a kiss, Smiles, do leave it hanging!” as he tries to get the fish as close to your face as possible.

“Give me a smooch!” he animates his voice, pretending the fish is talking to you.

“NO! Frankie Stop!” You shriek. Frankie gets closer to you, shoving the fish in the face. You reacted by pushing him, Frankie lost his balance and ended up falling over the side of the boat into the lake.

You gasp, your hands flying over your mouth. You kneel on the bench, leaning over the side of the boat.

Frankie’s head pops up out of the water, his Standard Oil Heating hat on his head.

“Frankie are you alright?!”

He takes of his hat, tossing it the boat. He shakes his head, getting so water out and hair out of his eyes, then takes his hands slicking his hair back so he could see.

“Yeah I’m fine, I wasn't expecting to go for a swim though” he laughs as he treads water.

“Here let me help you up” you extend out your hand for him to grab. He takes your hand but you immediately regret it after seeing the mischievous look on his face. You let out a yelp as Frankie yanked you in, flipping over the side of the boat into the water.

Your body hit the water, you come up with the bubbles gasping for air. Frankie is laughing as he treads beside you.

“Now we’re even!”

‘You punk! You did that on purpose! Meanwhile, I accidentally shoved you in!” you slick your hair back out of your face. You splash water in his face.

“Two can play at that game!” he splashes you back.

You swim over to him, placing your hands on his shoulder, then pushing down on him, submerging you both underwater.

Underwater, he grabs a hold of your waist pulling your body close to his. Coming back up you're both laughing, his arms wrap around your body, as your arms wrapped around his neck.

Your guys’ laughs subside as you stare at each other. You take your hand moving a piece of Frankie's hair, out of his face and swipe it to the side. Your heart was beating fast, as you both started to lean in for a kiss. Your nose touches, but you learn your head down, pulling always from him. Swimming back to distance yourself from him.

“I-I think you should take me home now…please...” you whispered.

“Okay…” was all he said. You two swam towards the boat. Frankie got back up first, then helped. He turned on the boat and stirred back to the dock.

…

You both were dripping wet, but Frankie managed to pack extra clothes. You changed behind some bushes into a very large and long shirt that went past your knee. Frankie changed into a plain t-shirt and jeans.

After changing in new clothes and packing things up, you guys headed on the road, Frankie driving you home.

It was silent in the car. Neither of you has anything to say. You had an ongoing battle raging inside of you. You couldn’t believe you almost kissed Frankie, but part of you wanted to. You were so confused about how you felt. You needed to go home and truly be alone to think things over.

“I’m sorry-” You both say at the same time.

You both sign.

“I shouldn’t have leaned in like that-”

“It wasn’t just you Frankie...It was me as well. I should have known better.”

“-Nothing happened.”

“But something almost did, Frankie.”

“So what is this? What are we?”

“We’re not anything Frankie”

“Bullshit and you know that! We may not be together anymore, but we’ve got history. We’re connected. Stop denying how you feel” he snaps at you.

“I don't feel anything, Frankie! You don’t know how I’m feeling! I’m getting MARRIED! MARRIED!” you reminded him.

You huffed, your arms crossed against your chest. You wanted to open but the car door and roll out. You both sat in silence for a good 20 minutes, only speaking when you were giving him directions to how to get to your house you were almost home. You both had cooled off from the argument, but the tension was still high in the air.

As you sat in the passage side of the truck, you noticed something. “Who’s this?” You asked, staring at a polaroid picture that was tapped on his dashboard. You only noticed the photo until now.

Frankie closed his eyes for a split second and deeply sighed. He thought about what you said earlier ‘The questions I ask you today, can you be open and answer them honestly’. He made a deal with you, he had to keep his word. He had to come clean and make things right with you.

You peel the photo off the dash to examine it better. The photo was of a young teenage girl laughing as she smiled. She was outdoors sitting on a log in front of a campfire. Her hands wrapped around a stick with a marshmallow at the end. Behind her, there was a tent pitched up, woods, a lake, and an orange sunset sky that made up the rest of the backdrop.

“That’s my daughter.”

You stopped fidgeting with the photo. You quickly turn your gaze towards him. He didn’t look at you, he stared at the road ahead, his hands placed at the bottom of the steering wheel. You examined the photo some more. This girl had Frankie written all over her. The girl wore his Standard Heating Oil hat and the way her eyes squinted as she laughed was exactly like Frankie.

He didn’t have to tell you because you knew. It clicked. This was it. The answer you’ve been dying to know for years. She was the reason why he left you. Your eyes began to well up with tears. So many thoughts were circling in your head. You were rendered speechless. You had so much you wanted to say but didn’t know where to start. You didn’t know how to feel. You felt overwhelmed.

You kept your eyes on the photo.

“2005, our first break up. When the long-distance wasn’t working when I was stationed halfway across the country.” He began to say. He paused for a moment. “I dated someone for a few months after we broke up, but it didn’t work out with them. A little while after, we got back together. I had no idea she was pregnant. She didn’t tell me. I didn’t find out until she passed away in an accident. I was contacted, they told me I had a 5-year-old daughter and if I wanted to care for her I needed to do a whole bunch of legal stuff to gain sole custody. If I didn't, she would have gone into the foster care system. The night I left you, that’s where I went. I drove across the country to get her.”

You stuck the photo back on the dashboard, then turned to look out the window, watching the tree fly by as he drove down the highway.

“What’s her name?” you asked.

“Lilah...She’s fifteen.”

It was silent in the truck. Frankie said nothing more letting you take in everything.

You sat there thinking about what he told you. You put yourself in his shoes, imagining if you were in his situation at the time.

“I’m not even mad.” You admitted.

“Y-you’re not?”

“I’m more hurt than I am mad, Frankie.” Tears rolled down your face. “I don’t blame you for what you did. You have a daughter and that was your priority. It was important for you to get to know her, take care of her and be her dad.” Your lips began to tremble more tears spilled from your eyes. “I’m just hurt at the fact you didn’t think you could tell me. God, Frankie you should have told me!”

“I was scared! I-I was so scared to tell you! I didn’t know what you were going to think or say! I was afraid you would’ve wanted nothing to do with me after you found out I had a kid with someone else! O-or what if you didn’t want to raise her with me?! It was easier for me to leave you before you did it to me!”

“Frankie, you think I’m THAT terrible of a person? Do you really think I would have walked out on you if you told me? I told you that night, whatever it was, I would have worked it out with you! You had a daughter for crying out loud! Yes, I admit I would have been taken back and shocked, but I would have supported you! I would have raised her and loved her my very own. There's no way I would have turned her away, she half you of you, Frankie.”

“If-If I could go back a-and change things that happened between us, how I ended things-” his voice was shaking, stuttering as he spoke.

“But you can’t Frankie! You can’t change the past! What you did was done, and you’re going to have to live with that! You’re going to have to face the fact I’m getting married! What happened, happened, We just have to let it go...We both have to move on and let each other go”

By the time you said that Frankie pulled up in your driveway, parking his truck. You quickly grab your bag and hop out, closing the door.

“Smiles!” He yelled after you, getting out of his truck, and shutting the door.

You were walking up the walkway when he grabbed your arm. “Smiles-”

“DON’T touch me!” You snapped at him.

“We’re not done talking!”

“There’s nothing to talk about! Leave! Just get out of here!” you cried. You were feeling so many different emotions, you were confused about how you felt, you just wanted him to go so you could be alone. You turn away, walking to your door.

“I love you!” he shouted

Your eyes widen, whipping around quickly. “NO! You don’t get to say that! Not now! What do you want me to say? What the fuck do you expect me to say?! That I love you back?! I can’t! I can’t say that!”

“You can’t or you won’t?! I know deep down in there you love me. I know you do, but you’re afraid to admit it! Too damn scared to admit that you still have feelings for me!

“FRANCISCO MORALES LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GO HOME!”

Alex came rushing out of the house, hearing you yell. He looked at the both of you. You were a crying mess, your hair damps and wearing a T-shirt. Frankie stood there with a pained and angry look on his face.

“What the hell is going on?” Alex had a million questions running through their head but quickly rushed towards you, putting themselves between you and Frankie.

“Baby you alright? You okay?” he asked, cupping your head in their hands.

“Smiles-” Frankie starts walking towards you.

“You need to fucking leave.” Alex turns around, protectively standing in front of you.

Frankie stands there staring at you. Your lips tremble as you avoid his gaze.

“Just go Frankie…” you whispered.

And just like that, he left. Frankie got back in his truck and drove away.

You started to break down, hysterical crying in front of your house. Your chest felt tight as you sobbed. Alex took you into their arms, comforting you.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He says rubbing your back. “Let’s go inside.”

tag // @icanbeyourjedi @im-an-adult-ish

#triple frontier #Frankie Morales x Reader #francisco morales #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #pedro pascal #pedro

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autumnleaves1991-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Next One’s on You 3/5

A/N: Thank you so much for reblogging, commenting, and liking! I read them all and I really appreciate it. Let me know if you want to be added to a Taglist. This is my personal favorite chapter so far. :D

Summary: A series of moments in the life of Maxwell Lord and reader centered around drinks.

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x F! Reader

Warnings: 18 + for language

Taglist: @josepedropascal @mrschiltoncat @ghostwiththemostbitch @mrsparknuts @oldstuffnewstuff @yespolkadotkitty @heythere-mel @justanotherblonde23 @artsymaddie @maxlordsgf @xjaywritesx

My Masterlist

Chapter Two - Vodka Martinis

Chapter Three: Orange Juice

Our start was rocky. From the unwanted solicitation, throwing a latte in his face, the note, that horrible date with Tom, and being doused in freezing water. You really thought that things couldn’t get any more rocky. Until you met his mother. Mrs. Lord as she commanded you to call her, was a complete and total bitch.

Coming in like a hurricane and leaving nothing but devastation in her wake. After that night you continued seeing Maxwell Lord. You’re first date he rented out an entire movie theater, and didn’t even pay attention to the movie, his face buried in your neck the whole night. Followed up by small dinners at his mansion, and late night drives in his blood red corvette, the top down, you curled up against his side after a long day at work.

After each one of these dates his toxic mother would swoop into your work and threaten you with anything in her arsenal. How she could get you fired, lose your apartment, sue you for some insignificant thing, and each time you would kindly tell her to fuck off. But she wasn’t just going after you but Maxwell as well and her claws were deep into him. Preying on all his fears and insecurities that she had instilled in him from a young age. Whispering lies in his ear that she had you tailed and were cheating on him, just using him for his money, or worse trying to get a baby out of him so he would be paying you for eighteen plus years.

Each time he would come to you and you would remind him something his traumatized brain forgot in those moments….how much you loved him.

Yes, he was an egotistical, rich, asshole and that is what the world thinks of him. But you saw so much more than that. The way he would take off your sticky non-slip shoes and rub your feet after a long day at the shop, stinking of coffee grounds. How he would hold your hand and rubs circles with his thumb whenever he drove you somewhere. The way he would make love to you with such tenderness, the aftercare where he would clean you and hold you so close you could feel your heartbeats sync together. You were his deepest secret, proof to the world that Maxwell Lord had a heart. Although no one knew that.

You sit on the couch with your ice cream watching TV. Maxwell had a charity gala this evening and you're watching the news coverage hoping to get a glimpse of him in his tux. You had given him a new pocket square for his birthday last week and he promised to wear it. You dip the spoon in and lift it up to your lips when it clatters back into the carton. You put it on the table and crawl on your knees closer to the TV.

Maxwell Lord IV is being interviewed by a local reporter looking immaculate. Not a single strand out of place and smiling jovial as he answers the questions. But that isn’t what caught your attention...it’s the blonde woman on his arm. You recognize her instantly as a model on the cover of the magazine your roommate bought yesterday. She is gorgeous, thin, wearing a floor-length pale pink dress, and a diamond collar. Her hand rests in the crook of his elbow and he has one hand over her own.

“Mr. Lord, is this your girlfriend?” the reporter buzzes.

“Oh Kitty here?” he kisses the beautiful woman's cheek and she giggles, “No, she is just a good friend of mine, I don’t have time in my life for any serious relationships.” He smiles at the camera again and you notice the pocket square is a pale pink to match her dress and not the one you bought and you feel the ice cream sour in your stomach.

You reach for the knob and turn off the television laying down on the floor looking at the small cracks in the ceiling. You recall the conversation about this gala replaying it over and over again in your head.

“Do you want me to attend with you?”

“No, it’s just some boring charity gala we have ten to fifteen a year. I wouldn’t want to bore you with having to endure that for an evening,” he adjusts his tie and smiles over at you laying in his bed.

“I understand,” you nod leaning up to kiss him softly, “Are you...going with anyone?”

“No. I haven’t been attending these things with anyone since you and I...since you and I,” his eyes soften as he sits on the edge of the bed, taking his hand in yours. “You know how much I love you darling, I just want to keep you all to myself. If I bring you to this gala the press are going to start asking questions and….I’m not ready to share you with the world yet.”

You smile, tightening the grip on his hand, “As long as I don’t have to share you with anyone either.”

“There is no one else, you’re it for me honey,” he pulls you in for another kiss and you sigh.

Your heart shatters thinking of the model and how perfect she looked on his arm. She would be the perfect addition to Maxwell. The words of his mother seep into you and your self doubt begins to bloom. You shake your head and get off the floor, put the ice cream away, and go to bed. The heaviness of your heart dragging you to sleep.

The next morning doesn’t get any better. Your usual good morning phone call with Maxwell never comes and you go to work and try to clear your mind, sure it’s nothing. When your lunch break comes and still no call or even show of him you call his work. His assistant tells you regretfully that he is in meetings all day and can’t be reached. The sick feeling in your stomach continues to grow and when you get off you decide not to wait around for him, catching a cab to his home. The whole staff knows you and greets you happily and the chef makes you a sandwich and listens to you babble about your day as she cleans up.

The household quiets down for the night and when it hits eleven and he’s still not home you take off your clothes, put on one of his shirts and crawl into bed. Determined not to let him get away with ignoring you all day. The next morning you wake up early, having tossed and turned the whole night. But this time the bed isn’t empty. A warm arm is draped across your waist and his mouth is pressed against your head holding you close. You sigh and watch him sleep, his face free of worry as he dreams.

You carefully eject yourself from his arms and go into the kitchen starting the button on the coffee. It’s very early and the chef isn’t even here yet so you decide to make some breakfast for yourself and Maxwell. The difficult conversation may be easier over food. You get out the egg whites, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and cheese for omelets and get to work cooking. Halfway through turning on the small radio and dancing around the kitchen to some Beegees. You're almost done cooking, putting the omelets onto the plates and pulling out a carton of orange juice and pouring a glass.

You hear a slight chuckle and whirl around to see Maxwell Lord IV in his grey sleep pants, white shirt, and wearing bright blue cookie monster slippers you had bought him as a joke since he has a secret affinity for cookies. “What are you doing honey?” he asks, gesturing to the mess.

“I...I thought we could have breakfast together and...talk...we need to talk Maxwell.”

He lowers his head and nods grabbing the plates and juice before setting them down at the small kitchen table. Usually he liked to eat in the grand dining room but the small eat in kitchen table was your favorite. He sits close to you and digs in groaning at the taste. “This is delicious.”

You give a half hearted smile, taking a bite and putting down your fork, turning to him, “I saw your interview at the gala....why did you lie to me about not having a date?”

He grimaces, “my mother surprised me,” he sighs, “I was getting dressed for the gala and she shows up with Kitty, throws your pocket square in the trash and pushes us into the limo with her. I get the feeling that Kitty didn’t have much choice as well, but we played the part. I never wanted to lie to you, I just didn’t have time to tell you.”

“Then why ignore me all day yesterday? No call, no visit, and when I tried to call the office they said you were in meetings all day.”

“I was in meetings all day and I am so sorry about not calling in the morning but I had to take care of something very important yesterday.”

“What was it?” not taking no for an answer. “My mother,” he rubs a hand over his face, “I had breakfast with my mother...I told her that what she did the night before was unacceptable and that I wanted to be with you. Of course she spent the entire day arguing with me but I couldn’t give a care. And at the end of it all I told her she needed to choose. Either she accepts you and we move forward or she can forget that she has a son.”

“Maxwell,” you beg, “why didn’t you call me? I could have gone with you, you shouldn’t have had to do that alone! What did she say?”

“She told me if I wanted to marry that poor coffee shop bitch, then she would never speak to me again.” You're silent as you process his words. Marry…?

He stands from the table and goes into the foyer of the house. You can hear him digging in his coat and he comes back with a tiffany blue box. He drops to one knee before you and tears sting in your eyes, rubbing at them furiously.

“I told her goodbye and then went to pick up the ring from the jewelers, I ordered it three weeks ago,” he opens the box and you gasp at the princess cut diamond surrounded by sapphires. “I had this big proposal planned, candles, champagne, a string quartet, your favorite restaurant. But, when I woke up this morning and saw you in my shirt, dancing and cooking breakfast, I thought this was a much better time. Plus you know how impatient I am darling.”

You let out a watery chuckle and nod in agreement. Allowing him to continue, “I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to bring you to every gala, show you off to the world, and every morning I want to wake up with you in my arms. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you cry, “yes of course, I will marry you,” you're openly sobbing and he has tears streaming down his cheeks as he slides the ring onto your finger. Pulling you out of your chair and into his lap as he kisses you passionately. His hands running through your hair and holding you close.

“Oh my,” the chef opens the door seeing you both on the floor in a passionate embrace and backs out. You laugh calling them back, “We’re engaged!” you shout and the chef and butler run into the room congratulating you both. Maxwell smiles at you and you beam back at him kissing him again.

A loud knock sounds at the front door and the butler rushes out to answer. Returning a few moments later apologizing as Mrs. Lord slams open the door. “Maxwell!” she shrieks, and you groan holding on tighter to your fiancé who is rising to his feet and pushing you behind him, locking his hand within your own.

“Mrs. Lord?” he asks, “If you want to speak with me you will need to schedule a meeting with my assistant.” You squeeze his hand in encouragement and watch as she gapes like a fish.

“You can’t be serious?! You are seriously going to give up your mother for some cheap whore?!”

He steps forward and growls, “She is not some cheap whore, this is my fiancé and you will never speak to her like that again. I am tired of being your punching bag, allowing your toxic words to seep into me. I will no longer allow you to control me, we are done. Now good day Mrs. Lord.” He tightens his grip.

“Maxwell, you can’-” she stammers and is cut off when he yells raising his voice.

“I said good-day! Get the hell out of our home, you are no longer welcome.” She tightens her grip on her Hermes handbag and straightens her Dior dress before glaring daggers at you.

“This isn’t over,” she hisses and turns on her heel stomping out of the house.

When the door slams shut behind her, the staff quickly leave you two alone and you hold him close in your arms. Leaning up to whisper in his ear, “I am so proud of you.” He sighs and holds you tighter, placing a kiss to your temple. “I couldn’t let her talk like that about you. You are going to be my wife, and no one will ever disrespect you like that.”

“You’ve really changed Maxwell, I think some of those things you said to me the first time we met,” you tease and he groans.

“Despite our rocky start and how much of an utter asshole I was, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because it brought me to you. I love you sweetheart,” he kisses you gently.

“I love you too. Do you...do you think she’s going to do something bad? She seemed very angry when she left.”

“Whatever happens, we will face it together. She is a bitter old woman, what’s the worst she can do?” he holds you close to his chest and reaches down for his orange juice taking a large drink. “Let’s just focus on the next thing.”

“What’s next?” you sigh taking the glass from him and taking a deep drink.

“Planning the wedding of the century darling.”

You cough loudly. Oh fuck what have you gotten yourself into now?

Chapter 4- Champagne (check master list for link)

#maxwell lord #Maxwell Lord x reader #ww84 #Wonder Woman 1984 #Pedro Pascal #Maxwell Lord imagine #Autumn writes

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foryouthegays · 4 years ago

Text

also if anyone wants me to transcribe a clip pls send an ask :) or find something :)

good laugh times: 00:40:10, 00:44:44, 00:54:30, 00:55:47 00:58:37

sellout timer: 00:30:40, 01:26:00

other things: (00:10:00 biiiiiig stretch!!!) (00:39:55 that was the most ‘skeppy tried to troll me but i trolled him first’ scream ive heard in a while a;lskdjfadl) (01:23:00 TECHNOSNEEZE TECHNOSNEEZE)

summary:

Technoblade starts the stream and finds an infinity room (a room covered in white item frames and backed with glowstone or sea lanterns, making it look like there is just Void and no end) covering his house. he removes the grief and continues his intro. While waiting for Tommy to join his VC, he finds a Zombie villager, cures it, and reads donations.

Techno and Tommy go to New L’manburg and fix one of Technos propaganda posters. They find Fundy and Ranboo and tell them that if Techno gets his sword back, he’ll help them fight the wither he’s going to spawn. He spawns the wither and runs around while Ranboo and Fundy try to kill it. He doesn’t get his sword back until a few minutes into the battle. Ranboo gives him both his sword and his axe after the Wither is killed by Punz and Fundy.

Fundy gets the Wither Star, and Techno decides that it’s rightfully owned by him. Tommy and Techno start torturing Fundy into giving them the Star. After Techno gets the star back, Tommy starts trying to get his disks back. Techno tells Tommy he’s going too far, and Fundy starts crying, and eventually dies.

Tommy and Techno start to move back to their house, and Tommy gets distracted with the idea of blowing up the community house. Techno convinces him otherwise, and eventually comes clean with his intentions and goals to destroy L’manburg. He asks Tommy to join him, and Tommy accepts.

They go to the wolf army and breed the dogs. While underground, they’re almost caught, but they run away before anyone can catch them.

Techno and Tommy talk about an eventual SBI meetup, make a beacon, and then end the stream.

loud startin the stream today!!!!! :D!!!!!! 10 sec in

oh hes actually loud today this is great his voice gets so nice when hes louder

00:00:30 ‘i’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in judgement” s;ladjfkald

00:00:50 diD HE MAKE AN INFINITY ROOM OR???? IS HE JUST????? WH AT???

oH MY GOD IT IS AN INFINITY ROOM AKSDFJALSDF IS THAT IN THE ACTUAL SMP OR????

aa;lskdfjasd someone mADE AN INFINITY ROOM A;LSDKFJASDF WHO????

00:03:00 i love how even minecraft g o d s cant remember fence gate/fence crafting recipes akdjhfald

00:04:45 ‘gUYS DON’T STAY IN SCHOOL!!!’ ‘n- no you should stay in school’ yeah, sure techno ‘collage dropout’ blade

00:05:17 ‘tommy, is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud, tommy’ -technos impression of tommys mom

zombie villager pog!

LISTEN TO HOW HE SAYS CONVENIENT AT 5:45 AHHH I LOVE HIM

00:07:35 why does,,,why does techno say disorientating instead of disorienting??? he says disorientating and i just,,,,,techno,,,,techno thats not the American way of saying it. also i didnt capitalize american bc of Being A Country i did it bc of Emphasis a;lksdfal

he stretch!!!!!! ten mins in

techno ate breakfast pog!!!! 00:10:30

13:00 a;lksdjfal

---

STOP MAKING TECHNO GOOD AT CHESS IN GAME HES SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE IS NOT I AM GOING TO SCREAM more proof: 00:14:40 also he calls the chess board ‘the map’ and im akjsdfhkljasd

00:15:40 “i don’t think that dumb people become Minecraft youtubers, I think it’s that being a Minecraft youtuber makes you dumber.”

00:15:50 ‘i was a smart child, I was doing well in school--I mean I wasn’t doing my homework or anything but I was doing well on the tests,” a;lsdkfja

“it do be doing that” -technoblade 2021

WHY DOES HE JUST RANDOMLY KNOW CHESS OPENING NAMES IM SICK OF HIM WHY IS HE LIKE THIS I HATE IT HERE AALSDKFJASF 00:17:45 its so funny he just reads wikipedia for fun and also same

‘YOURE TALKING SOUNDS’ -tommyinnit, 19:40

00:20:05 ‘tommy, tommy, you’re speaking words, but the only universal language is sounds.’

00:23:24 “we’re going to go threaten....some certain government agents...in minecraft, since I know the FBI is listenin in on my phone right now [techno gets further from his mic and some thuds can be heard] let me just toss that over there...there we go, now they can only listen through my laptop”

00:32:17 mmmm technoyell

fundy n ranboo!!!! 00:33:50

god could u imagine knowing that technos doin a plot stream nd he joins ur call w tommy and they just???? start talking abt the canonical status of ants and new york????? such is the life of ranboo nd fundy a;lksdfjals

WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG WITHER POG 00:39:20

00:39:55 how does he make that sound im crying

HE LAUGH!!!!!!

a;lkdsfjasd ranboo bullying time 00:44:00

god could u imagine being a fan of the dream smp, joining and ur surrounded by all these people uve looked up too, and then they start bulling you?? such is the life of ranboo

torture time!!! 00:46:15, its to get back the star :D

00:50:45 its lowkey terrifying how techno calls torturing fundy to tears ‘the good times’ and laughs while tommy interrogates him. i love it, but also im scared of him. still an apologist. he needs his stuff back!

also like,,,,,techno telling tommy he went too far? terrifying. if techno says you went too far, thats saying something

HE LAUGH!!!!

HE LAUGH AGAIN!!!

my favorite part of techno tommy interactions is how technoll say like, a metaphor or smthin nd tommy just,,,,,,,, ‘yeAHHH BITCH’ its so funny. a good example is 00:56:00:

techno: if you want to make an omlette, you’ve gotta break a few eggs

tommy: yeaaahhhh!! break eggs and bitch!

techno: ....what?

its so funny to me ak;dfjlasjf

and like, their rambles are COMPLETELY different. techno does most of his hopping around in his head and talks about it once he’s figured out what he should do, and tommy just says things out loud without thinking its hilarious

and like, in game, techno is a LOT more calculated than people think. when tommy tries to get techno to blow up the community house, techno has to rein him back in because ‘i’m all for violence, but we need a plan.’ and ‘how would blowing up the community house get your discs back??’ he’s a lot more organized than most of his teammates nd i love it

but like,,,sometimes techno just Says things and its great. 00:57:20 ‘the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack, amirite? [claps] gottem. he’s homeless!! eyyyy. lmao.’

00:58:20 is good. also skyblock is canon now.

01:06:50 SBI MEETUP SBI MEETUP

also ‘i dont know about smiling, but’ a;ldkfjadls;fjasf

i love tommy nd techno just kinda vibing

01:16:30 ‘mmmm audience retention rate....mmmm ants’ aldkfja this stream is so dumb i love it

dID TECHNO USE THEY/THEM FOR ERET AT 01:20:55 OR WAS THAT A GENERAL ‘EVERYONE ELSE’ THEY

1:23:00ish TECHNOSNEEZE

A;LSDKFJAS LIKE AN HOUR AFTER GETTING HIS SWORD BACK HE REALZIES HE HAS IT BACK HES SUCH A NERD 01:24:45

he sounds V tired rn a;lsdkfjkasdf

STREAM TOMORROW TOO??? P O G

#stream post

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secretsniper3 · 3 years ago

Text

Late for Class

“Im going to be late! Again! Why cant I wake up on time, stupid alarm clock, Im breaking it when I get home I swear!”

“Looks like your going to be in debt a while Anna!” He says with a smile forcing a pathetic growl from my open mouth.

Getting changed I don't feel very hungry.. considering the “Meal” I had earlier I just go to bed early, Resting my throbbing ass is all I need to focus on and that needs sleep.

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

Note

hey do you know any johnlock fanfictions, that are very slow burn and at first it's just sherlock being sad that him and john are never going to get together (maybe after the wedding or something) but have a happy ending? (possibly with 100k+ words)

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhh I like to argue that ALL my slow burn recs are especially painful, LOL LOL!! I didn’t have a lot of over 100 K ouchie-burn fics, so I’ve decided to quickly go through all my fics tagged “slow burn” and give you all the fics I KNEW gave me too many feels when I read them because of the burn!! So I hope that’s okay!!

And as always, Lovelies, I’ve certainly missed a lot of fics because of improper tagging or just too many sleepy nights skimming my bookmarks, so feel free to add your faves!

BURN SO SLOW IT HURTS

See also:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. / Falling in Love Pt. 3 (Nov. 2019)

Slow Burn / Dev Rel. Pt. 4 (Apr 2020)

Mutual Pining

Pining Sherlock || [MOBILE FRIENDLY VERSION]

Pining John

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w., 10 Ch. || For a Case, Gay Bar, Pining, Coming Out, Slow Burn) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he's NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won't change anything between them. And then it does.

The Slow Burn by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,097 w., 4 Ch. || Romance, Emotional Infidelity, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Fix-It) – John smiles, something small and private and for him alone, and Sherlock just...he knows. With a heart-stopping certainty, Sherlock suddenly knows. It feels like falling off the edge of a cliff. It feels like falling off the edge of the world. It feels like flying.

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w., 17 Ch. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favour. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock's consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock's mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It's a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Rel., Roadtrips, Slow Burn, Mummy Holmes) – “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk. “Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w., 15 Ch. || Sickfic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a "harmless" virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

LHR-HNL by scullyseviltwin (E, 35,066 w., 7 Ch. || Hawaiian Vacation, Post-TRF, Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn, Just Talk Already, Drinking, Mutual Pining) – In need of an endangered flora sample, Sherlock and John must make a trip to an unexpected destination.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. || H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy, Fake Relationship) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w., 84 Ch. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most. An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete. (This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w., 14 Ch. || Character Injury, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Sherlock POV, Toplock) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

In the Dark Hours by hubblegleeflower (E, 51,639 w., 12 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Unreliable Narrator, Closeted Bi John, Angst, Miscommunications, Slow Burn, First Time, John’s Blog / Epistolary, Selective Mutism) – John, wounded and silent, drifts back to Baker Street for healing...and then goes home again. He visits, gets more upbeat, chattier, smiles, jokes... and still goes home again. Sherlock wants him to move back in - it just makes sense - but John shows no signs of doing so. This is the story of how John and Sherlock learn to say what needs to be said when they're both so very, very rubbish at talking.

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w., 14 Ch. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings, Bossy Bottomlock) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family's private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it's time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) – Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it's all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (E, 62,006 w., 25 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || First Person Sherlock POV, Pining, Angst, Slow Burn, Infidelity, Sherlock Learns About Himself, Happy Ending) – Sherlock struggles with his feelings for John, makes a mistake, and learns just how important he and John are to each other. Non-BBC Mary / John, but it’s a *complicated* relationship.

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) – John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w., 43 Ch. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who's been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w., 17 Ch. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We're all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (E, 144,931 w., 31 Ch. || Changeling AU || Slow Burn, Drug Use, Mentions of Child Abuse / Bullying, Mentions of Student/Teacher Relations, Uni-Age) – In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he's destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl -- but cannot be ignored. Oh, and...porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #slow burn #pining sherlock #Anonymous #long post #my fic recs #fic rec sunday

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star-wars-scribbles-ff · 4 years ago

Text

Where I Belong | Chapter 5

Story Summary: The only family she’d ever known gave her a name; back when she belonged to something. But when that family is lost, she leaves it all behind. When destiny drops her in the last place she ever wanted to be, she has to earn back the trust and respect of the Republic that left her to die. Caught between the Jedi and the Grand Army of the Republic, she’ll discover where she belongs.

Fandom: Star Wars | Galaxy Far Far Away

Rating: T+

Story Genre/Warnings: action/adventure/found family | war violence, death, torture, discrimination, alcohol consumption, angst, fluff, found family, lots of clone boys, (spans the whole clone war) eventual Order 66 and rise of the Empire

Words: 3,205

Disclaimer: Majority of properties within this fanfic are owned by Lucasfilm/Disney. My OCs, as well as a few other things within this fanfic are of my own creation. Republic Cog header/chapter divider made by me 😊

Taglist: @divergent-llamas-03 @thisistheendtimes @tallyquark @your-very-rude-neighborhood-ace @remadster @808tsuika

CHAPTER NOTE: Planned on making this a May 4th chapter update but time got away, not really proof read, I remembered I’m pretty much writing this for myself, and this chapter is kind of short so... sorry me I guess lololol.

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Anakin Skywalker considered her in silence. Do I look dead, sir? Was that a jab? Just a statement- a question? Her aura was giving him nothing; it was calm, collected, but under the surface bubbling with a scrambled mix of emotions that he couldn’t decipher. Not just anyone could mask that from a Jedi. It made him uneasy.

“... What’s your CT number?” He asked, posture straightening as he crossed his arms.

The look she turned on him was almost amused as she looked him up and down for a moment, brow knit before she raised an eyebrow.

“My CT number? What- do I look like a clone to you?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Anakin quickly found his voice turning almost impatient. It wasn’t intentional, but perhaps a defense against this situation which he wasn’t the slightest prepared for. He’d buried this. Having it drop back in on him like this wasn’t something he wanted to welcome with open arms.

He narrowed his eyes at her lack of reaction as she continued to eye him before her gaze fell to the table. Her ease and calm nature regarding her situation pushed a button he didn’t know he had, and it irritated him. The only thing that brought him solace was that despite her seemingly tranquil exterior, he could sense she was harboring a restlessness. One he was having trouble deciphering, but all the same it was there.

Considering her posture, he noted her body language gave away very little. Somewhat defensive, but not overwhelmingly so; her arms were rested in her lap, shoulders slightly caved inward, but still relaxed. She looked like a mercenary by her attire. The chest and torso plates she was wearing had notes of old republic craftsmanship; it wasn’t a commonly worn style anymore. Her shoulder plates also had unique craftsmanship, but he didn’t recognize them.

A few dried splatters of blood covered her left shoulder plate, where her head injury was making itself known. She’d need medical attention; something he wasn’t looking forward to as she’d need to be transferred to the medical facility onsite. He needed very little to tell him she was dangerous. She lacked a boastful ego, and that only increased the likelihood that she possessed a deadly skill set. Moving someone like that around should be avoided at all costs, but a head injury was cause for concern. Thankfully, that was something to consider later on. For now, he had to worry strictly about interrogation of the individual.

Part of him was uncertain of how to proceed. She would be on the GAR database, it was just a matter of whether he’d be able to access the material. Surely he’d be able to. He vaguely remembered seeing her file, but he didn’t remember enough details.

“What was the nature of your assignment on Garo IV.” He questioned. Only way forward was to strike the connections they had present. While the mission wasn’t related, it was the only string he could pull. Waiting for an answer was how he had spent eighty percent of his time during interrogations. Maybe pulling this string would get her talking a bit more.

When she met his eyes, he raised an eyebrow as she put off giving him a verbal response. He really didn’t have the patience for interrogations. Obi-Wan knew that and would usually have him conduct them because of said fact.

“What unit were you with?” He tried, adjusting his crossed arms over his chest as he stood at the opposite side of the table from where she was seated.

“I’m not at liberty to disclose details regarding my assignments nor my former position with the Republic Military.” The monotone of her voice surprised him as she leaned back in the chair and met his gaze once more. “Sir.” The tone of her voice was laced with sarcasm, unamused sarcasm but it was becoming more obvious she was going to make this harder for him.

He found himself giving the smallest hint of a smirk. Two could play the game.

“Well then, make yourself comfortable. You’re not going anywhere anytime soon.” He noted before stepping forward to lean one hand on the table, the other coming to rest on his belt.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about before you’re inevitably arrested for treason against the Republic.”

Rex had watched the footage multiple times now, and it pulled him in opposite directions. This should be an easy case, but every time he came to that conclusion, something knocked him upside the head screaming that it wasn’t. Cody seemed to be in a similar position.

He glanced at his brother, noting the gears seemingly turning in his expression as he lowered his gaze from the footage they were reviewing.

“What're you thinking?”

Any other Commander, and Rex would’ve addressed them properly; but this was Cody. He’d known Cody all his life. He was more than just a superior officer, he was a brother - his brother - and they rarely ever used formal addresses around each other. He knew Cody felt the same way towards him.

“This won’t be cut and dry.” His expression stoic, the Marshal Commander finally let his eyes fall from the footage before he turned and took a few steps to the adjacent table where the sack of explosives resided.

“Facial recognition picked up the other one.” Rex informed his brother before letting out a quiet sigh as he turned his gaze towards the hall leading to the interrogation room. “Your average mid ranking merc in the underworld. This one on the other hand...” Rex gestured to the holoscreen on the computer station against the wall. The footage played over and over again; the image of the mercenary they had in custody knocking Cody out of the line of fire did little to lesson Rex’s caution. “Still no hits. I don’t like it.”

“Do you think it was an act?” Cody questioned, turning to meet the eyes of his comrade.

“What part exactly?” Rex leaned back against the table, partially seated on the edge.

The shift in the Commander’s eyeline back towards the footage answered Rex’s question as he looked to the holoscreen as well. The footage looped over and over, and Rex took a few moments to analyze the moment when the merc pushed his brother out of the line of fire.

“W- Do you think it was sincere?” Rex tried to suppress his chuckle but it slipped out. It wasn’t something he had considered. He’d honestly been avoiding thinking about her motive to push Cody out of the way. It seemed that’s all Cody was thinking about however.

“She said ‘sorry sir’... to me.” Cody responded.

“Sir?” Rex emphasized while raising an eyebrow. “Alright I admit that’s- odd. But what’s your point, Cody. She still infiltrated this base with a sack full of explosives. I think the intent is clear.”

“Gentlemen,” The announcement of the Jedi’s presence caused Rex and Cody to briefly stand at attention.

“General Kenobi,” Cody greeted his superior with a courteous nod of his head and Rex gave a similar gesture as Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi walked through the blast doors.

“I apologize for the lateness of my arrival, Cody.” Obi-Wan dipped his head towards Cody as the Jedi came to a stop in front of the two troopers. “I did receive your transmission. Have there been any developments on our intruders?”

“Yes sir,” Cody responded, taking a couple steps closer to the holoscreen at the computer station, giving it a small gesture with his hand. “We’ve got a hit on one of them, I was going to get your confirmation on a warrant. The other however isn’t coming up on civilian or criminal databases.”

“Neither?” Kenobi questioned, taking a step closer to watch the footage quietly.

“No sir,” Cody gave Obi-Wan the response as he went to open the satchel on the far table, Rex loosely at his side. “Both had one of these. This belongs to the one we have in custody.”

“Skywalker is doing the interrogation?” Obi-Wan inquired, eyes on the footage. His brow knit gently and one brow twitched up with curiosity as he watched the footage of the criminal they had in custody.

“He is, sir.”

Silence followed closely behind Cody’s words as the two Officers waiting for the Jedi’s next move. Rex glanced briefly at his brother, hands loosely at his sides, but a subtle tension remained in his posture. This was a new problem, one they hadn’t encountered before.

General Skywalker was being oddly distant with this mercenary in custody. Usually an Officer would accompany on interrogations, however the General had made it clear that he wanted to handle this one alone following some sort of revelation. Whatever it was, Rex knew it complicated matters to some extent.

“If you’ll excuse me, Commander, Captain,” General Kenobi turned to the Clone Officers. “I will have a word with Skywalker.”

“Let us know if you need anything, sir.” Cody was quick to respond and Rex backed up his brother’s words with a nod.

Once the General excused himself, Rex took a couple of steps closer to the Commander and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why wouldn’t she come up on any database?” Rex mumbled the question privately to Cody. “It doesn’t make sense. Not even facial recognition picked anything up prior to the last few months. She’s a ghost.” Rex shook his head in subtle disbelief, brow knit tightly.

His arms already crossed, Cody reached up with a hand to lightly touch his chin as he thought quietly.

“I was hired to hit this location. I don’t know who, I didn’t get a name, but I suspect it came from a long chain of people most likely working for the Separatists.” The mercenary explained.

“Do you mercenaries normally just take jobs and ask questions later?” Anakin inquired, causing the girl’s eyes to narrow.

“It was a closed door job; information was kept private until they pulled people in for the job. If I hadn’t taken it they would’ve shot me then and there.” She muttered the explanation, defensive frustration subtly laced through her voice.

“Considering the way to shoved that Officer out of harm's way - I take it you prefer to hurt from a distance. Not too soft to do the dirty work up close are you?” He pushed further, much to his contempt as she visibly clenched her jaw and hardened her glaring gaze at him.

“Anakin, might I remind you of the reliability of using more friendly tactics during interrogation?”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin carefully greets his old Master as the Jedi enters the cell.

“Might I have a moment with you outside,” Kenobi gestured briefly towards the cell door.

Anakin grumbled before reluctantly leaving alongside the Jedi Master. This was not a good look for an interrogator.

Once on the other side of the cell’s energy shield door, Obi-Wan and Anakin made their way down a few cells to get some space from everyone.

“Now, what is this all about?” Obi-Wan inquired, crossing his arms across his chest. “I left the base for one day and-”

“This isn’t just some mercenary, Master.” Anakin cut to the chase rather quickly but begrudgingly hesitated for a moment. “I can’t believe I am saying this- but she was one of us.”

“I beg your pardon?” Obi-Wan’s brow was knit tightly, a clear expression of confusion marked his face before Anakin went to explain.

“This happened a few months ago; shortly after I became a knight. The battle group I was with near Sundari. Master Krell was dealing with forces on the planet surface when I picked up a distress signal from a Clone Team on Garo IV. They asked for extraction; said they had vital information. I’m not sure exactly what kind but…” Anakin trailed off as he remembered the day.

Kenobi eyed his former padawan for a time before giving a small nod of reluctant understanding.

“And where does this mercenary come into play?” He inquired, gesturing forward with a hand.

Anakin met his Master’s eyes for a time before looking away once more.

“She was the one that sent the distress signal, Master.”

Once the Jedi left the cell, Arwen let herself slump back into her chair. Jaw relaxing she muttered under her breath before briefly closing her eyes, squeezing them shut for good measure to briefly combat the pain of her head injury.

This isn’t good. I have to get out of here before this spirals.

If she tried to escape, it would make things worse long term. The situation couldn’t get much worse from here, at least not in regards to her relationship with the Republic. The worst thing that could happen to her is imprisonment. Right now her reputation was what she was most concerned with.

Corcer relaxed her brow, trying to soften the pressure that had been building in her head before she took in an audible breath and slowly let it out.

Of all the Jedi that could be dealing with this… It just had to be the one that one.

He could either make matters better or worse. She’d have to suck it up regardless.

At the mere thought of it, Arwen clenched her jaw, unable to hide the snarl of an expression that threatened to appear.

Jedi. There were few she thought below them. A twisted organization. Sure they had a few good ones here and there, but they were the biggest problem with the Republic. She’d rather shoot herself now and get it over with than roll over and play dead in this interrogation but… She had somewhere to be and had things to do.

As long as this di’kut doesn’t try to mention the team, I’ll be fine.

Silencing her thoughts, Arwen looked to the cell door and waited for someone to reappear. Her intent gaze only increased as she tried to silence the thoughts at the back of her mind. Seconds turn to minutes before she finally feels her shoulders begin to relax and her eyes fall.

…. The team…. My team.

Her chest tightened as she caught herself subconsciously distancing herself from the painful memories of her old life.

You can’t do that. No matter how much it hurts. If you don’t remember them, no one will.

Obi-Wan processed this information quietly for a time before finally meeting the eyes of his former padawan.

“And you’re certain this is her?”

“I’m positive, Master. She already confirmed it to me; reluctantly I might add.” Anakin responded.

The two make their way back down the hall and pass the mercenary’s interrogation cell before turning down the hall towards where Commander Cody and Captain Rex resided.

“We can continue her interrogation later. For the time being, we need to continue our prevailing investigation.”

Anakin fought the urge to roll his eyes but let out a grumbled huff before rubbing the back of his head as they entered the open room.

“Master-”

“You and I both know that intel may be critical, Anakin.” Obi-Wan reminded the younger Jedi with a somewhat stern tone. “If the Separatists get ahold of it-”

“We’ll have problems. I know, I know.” Anakin put his hands up before letting them fall. “Pirate scum.” Skywalker muttered under his breath, shooting a brief look around the room towards where Cody and Rex resided cataloging another sack of items from the mercenary. “They’re all talk, this info could just be putting us on a wild bantha chase.”

“And if it’s sincere?” Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and waited for his former padawan to concede in his weak reluctance to pay the investigation the attention it needed.

Anakin didn’t hide the roll of his eyes before giving a nod. “Understood, Master.”

The Jedi didn’t come back. Something Arwen wasn’t necessarily against. However as she was escorted down the hall by a Clone squad, she found herself almost disappointed she wasn’t able to speak with the Jedi.

It was becoming clear to her that she needed to talk with them to make any progress, but her anger- maybe even mild hatred towards them- kicked at her to not wish to be stuck in such a situation.

“Destination?” Arwen chanced speaking up, and was surprised when she got a response.

“Jail cell for temporary holding until interrogation continues.” The Clone a few paces in front of her on her right responded, not sparing her a glance as he continued to walk down the corridor.

Arwen looked to the ground and nodded to the side.

Better than silence I suppose. That means they still plan on talking to me. Good.

The quiet sound of conversation perked her ears and as they continued walking, it grew louder, and the voices grew clearer.

One of them was the Jedi she’d spoken to - Anakin as the other Jedi had called him. And the other one was Obi-Wan. The names were familiar unfortunately, and now she had faces to put to the names. Practically celebrities as far as the Republic was concerned. Forget the Holovid stars, Jedi Knights were it since the war had started.

Arwen’s gaze found an open room coming up on the left and she looked inside to find the two Jedi on opposite ends of a holotable looking hologram of an individual she actually recognized.

The fact made her stop, much to the surprise of the two clones behind her as one of them ran right into her with a grunt of surprise.

“Sir,” She called out to the Jedi, either one of them.

They both looked over, each with a look of mild confusion before Arwen went to continue talking.

“Is that Jiro Tuck?” She inquired, her eyes briefly dwelled on the hologram before turning to the bearded Jedi.

“You know of this individual?” He was the one she hadn’t seen much of, Obi-Wan as the dark haired Jedi, Anakin, had called him.

“Yes sir,” Arwen responded, glancing to the clone escort which she could tell was getting agitated. “If you’re looking for either him or his brother- I might have a few leads. I’ve been hired to find him before.”

The butt of a blaster was suddenly knocked into her back and Arwen caught her footing gracefully before looking over her shoulder at the helmeted trooper.

“Keep moving,” He snapped before ushering her forward with his rifle.

Arwen looked towards the Jedi once more before complying with the Clone escort, continuing down the hall.

They took her down to the holding cells and placed her in an empty cell. From the look it was vacant; she was the only one there.

Once the cell door closed, the troopers walked away and Arwen found herself sitting down on the metal platform that acted as a cot.

Ok. Seed planted. You better be able to deliver on that.

She had done work with the pirate before. Whatever he was involved in though would probably only bring her more heat from either the Separatists or the Republic, neither of which she wanted.

Either way… She needed to find a way out. This looked like her only option. If she played her cards right, she might be able to get out of this.

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter | Arwen Corcer Mercenary Visuals Art | Arwen Corcer - Past Lives Art

Chapter Note: If anyone is reading this I hope you enjoy I suppose. Again- wasn’t proof read so.... sorry for the grammar errors. Might fix it... Might not. Probably won’t.

#my writing #star wars fanfiction #clone wars fanfiction #star wars ocs #clone wars ocs #captain rex #commander cody #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #clones #clone ocs #grand army of the republic #coruscant #republic military #jedi

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