#ive thought abt all this before im just considering the ways i can take it for my current little lady
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trying to figure out cadash’s implied role in the carta. cadash should be a serious name, it was once a warrior caste house and is described as a “ruthless crime family”, suggesting a certain level of power currently. but inquisitor cadash specifically is talking about being on the... front lines, if you will? doing the grunt work. even the peaceful option for their backstory to josie is that they were doing simple, boring smuggling work, and the other replies suggest they were in the middle of the violence. they’re not one of the bosses at the table, they have bosses coming after them because they think cadash made off with the cargo (suggesting cadash running for cash and/or a way out at the first opportunity is believable)
#ive thought abt all this before im just considering the ways i can take it for my current little lady#i definitely think she plays it off with lines like ‘a dashing rogue at the edge of the law! 😘’#and the reality is just gritty and humiliating#these really are the best times she’s ever had. and that’s why it’s giving her religious delusions of grandeur probably#i gave her a really nice hair and it makes her pretty in a slightly glamorous and at least well-kept way#which is at odds with this kind of but interestingly. i wonder if she’s a young widow or a discarded mistress or something#idk im brainstorming here
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why team alice (as a whole) suffers compared to the others, other than the fact they r "starter routes"
DISCLAIMER: this post is not meant to undermine those who like team alice or any of the chars in that team; this is just a post i am making bc ive been thinking and theorizing a bit on especially why en doesnt seem to like will, harry, and liam as much as the other suitors as a whole. and i wanted to try to put it into words. but i'm also not really a professional when it comes to these matters and the statements i make boil down to my personal opinion (despite how i may phrase things), so take my words with a grain of salt. im open to hearing other opinions and welcome discussion, provided it remains civil!
long post + late night thoughts below
clarification: i am not including victor in this post as a part of this the aforementioned “team alice”, as i consider him a separate entity from the other teams altogether, symbolizing “the end” of fairytales, rather than a char of a fairytale. when sold in story sets, he often gets put into sets with team sleeping beauty anyway. i do acknowledge that victor is fairly often seen with william and harry, though in my personal opinion — and this may change with victor’s route release, who knows! — they do sort of fall short a bit for the same reason that i will mark with an asterisk (*) in this post.
especially ever since i started translating, and after al's route release, i feel ive become more conscious of the concept of "favoritism". even in the source material, favoritism is present to an almost painful degree. like, it wont take you long to realize liam literally has no (solo) 95k stories, while jude has the most out of the entire cast. which then leads to the question, which i ask as neutrally as i can: why? why is liam so unpopular? why is will not popular? or harry? and conversely, why is jude and ellis so popular? why does team alice seem less popular than the other teams? after some thinking…
basically, my thought just all boils down to the "lack of chemistry".
i dont think the issue lies so much with the chars themselves. i feel a lot of community doesnt really hate them as chars, they just like the others more. all that to say — will, harry, and liam r all charming in their own right.
they r good-looking, kind to kate, they r intelligent, they r all affected in some way by their curse, and they all possess development arcs especially following their main story, which i feel may be a symptom of the "starter route syndrome". where their main stories may fall a bit short, they may make up for in basically all of the following events. they r all flawed, thus making them feel human and authentic.
as individuals, they r all actually quite well rounded, in my opinion.
but when you look at them as a team or group, this is specifically where they fall apart.
the thing is — its not just abt the individual. its also abt how they see the things around them, how they interact with them; you can have very well-made chars, but if they don’t interact with others, how can we, as readers, get to know them? and of course, when i say "interact", this includes other chars in the cast. they say dialogue can make or break, and while there r some things team alice does well in dialogue, i think in other areas it also falls short.
now part of it may also be that the team as a whole didnt know each other before they all congregated at crown, while all the other teams have known each other in some way in the past, with team snow white (and, i think swan lake) especially having an extensive history. so i think in this sense, there is some inherent disadvantage team alice faces here at play as well. but this is not the only factor, considering they actually manage to tie liam and harry pretty well together as a combo. their friendship feels quite authentic.
as for will…we dont see all too many opportunities for him to interact much with harry (if they do, harry is often with someone else, like liam). but we know they r probably on good terms, though harry sometimes may feel a bit unsettled,,? by will. but the key is: they just dont interact much as a pair. in this sense, there is little opportunity to develop them as a pair, thus integrating will as a whole into the team. as for will and liam? these two share more interactions, but said interactions r not always executed very well, in my opinion*.
for example, will sort of treats liam like a cat. he even calls him a cat in dialogue. but thats all it seems to be between them. their dynamic feels somewhat flat, and it doesnt help that will is even opting to tell (rather than show) the reader what he thinks of liam, thus taking away the ability for the reader to dig deeper into their relationship. thus, it may feel harder to empathize, sympathize, or find it relatable — the chars dont reveal much abt each other. their dynamics feel surface level, so even though they have distinctive personalities, traits, and struggles, it feels like we r only getting half of them. bc again, much of how we get to know chars is their interactions, dialogues, and thoughts abt other chars, similar to how we cannot really understand ourselves without the presence of others (like the "looking-glass self" which sociologist cooley coined).
i probably sound like a broken record by now, but basically what i wanna say is there is not much of a good way to integrate will into the team — or the way they try to do so isnt done very well. the dynamic then may feel "incomplete", like drawing a half circle and attempting to call it a full circle.
to give a point of comparison, we can take a quick look at team snow white and sleeping beauty, looking at what made them relatively more successful compared to team alice. i wont be looking at team swan lake due to them being jp only chars (as of the making of this post) and also just not having much info on them. but, sometimes it does help to look at "successful" cases to better understand or feel what had fallen short.
TEAM SLEEPING BEAUTY
ok so, quick disclaimer: team sleeping beauty isnt really my strong suit (if yk me, im prettyy biased toward team snow white personally ndhjsffgjdjfjsg), so to speak. so if anyone else has anything to add here, feel free. but i will try my best.
basically, i think team sleeping beauty has one prevailing advantage over other teams, which is they r a two-man team.
they can keep the dynamic compact, if thats the word. there r physically less ppl to have to "integrate" into the team. in this team, it is centered around ellis and jude's relationship with each other. but to put it simply, they r foils — and the fact they use such a literary device in and of itself adds to their charm, specifically bc foils r meant to bring out each other’s similarities and differences…traits that we readers digest and can potentially empathize with.
one wants to make the other happy, obsessed with the notion of "happiness", while the other is basically cursed (as a byproduct) to never be the happiest. there is this theme of happiness revolving around those two, entangling them to a relationship that can inherently "never end". this in turn highlights ellis' tendency to "restrain" and jude's cycle of hatred. they sort of go together like yin and yang — two opposing forces who still end up working together. they have a distinct role to play in each other's lives.
on the other hand, team alice characters r sort of more independent from each other and feel a bit like a hodgepodge. this results in the reader potentially finding more difficulty finding how they may affect one another…risking their role as chars in each others stories being rendered vague.
and if the role of chars is hard to be established, it is easy for them to "fall out" in terms of the storyline.
TEAM SNOW WHITE
so here is the three man team that makes the three man team work. and the biggest thing that team snow white has that team alice doesnt is distinct, complex dynamics established between all three chars in the team. in other words, they have a "full circle" whereas team alice has a "half circle".
ALFONS & ELBERT: ah yes the pairing that would become a couple if they were not labeled as love interests for kate in an otome game /lh but in all srsness these two do share quite an interesting dynamic. they were sort of there to share each other's pain, and even just as chars, they seem to reflect things abt each other. for example, through elbie, we learn of how "hopeless" al can feel despite his smiley front; and through al, we see a lot of what elbie was truly seeking and why. and how, despite al being a mirror that reflects others' desires, elbie is the mirror that keeps al grounded to his self, and reflects what makes al as a char. they share a close relationship of "two lonely and broken souls finding solace in one another", but there is also quite a bit of subtext in the semantics of their dynamic and dialogue together as well.
ELBERT & ROGER: considering elbie's fear of doctors, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that, despite the fact roger had never actually laid a finger on elbie the same way his father's doctor did, elbie still feared roger, bc roger still embodied the concept of what had deeply traumatized him in the first place. roger had to go out of his way to earn elbie's trust (as a doctor), and they had gone out of their way to depict this. in this sense, through roger, we can see just how deep-rooted this trauma is and its severity — time cant heal all wounds.
ROGER & ALFONS: theres quite a bit to unpack with these two. they r deeply intertwined in each other's lives, whether they like it or not. its not that al gets along with roger or views him as a "friend", per se, but he finds it easy to place the blame of his suffering on roger, implies through subtext that he still holds some hope for roger that he can fulfill his goals, and shows his own version of an act of kindness by erasing his memories when he decided to, well, off himself. on the other hand, interestingly enough, roger is the one who basically took away al's childhood, but at the same time, in the present, he is the one who is able to bring out al's most childish side.
all in all, team snow white seems to rely a lot on subtext, which is another device to create mult layers and complexities in the dynamics created between all the characters in the team.
tl;dr: team alice has individually interesting characters, which is why they r not really disliked necessarily, but their interactions with each other as a team fall short compared to the other teams, which in turn has an impact on how "relatable" they may be perceived by the reader. and this is basically why i think team snow white and sleeping beauty r more favored than team alice as a whole by the (en) fandom.
wrote most of this on my phone nfjsjhfhsgs will end the essay here
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rare shadow the hedgehog post but i actually dislike shipping him with any of the girls and heres why (please hear me out chat) (no hate btw just an opinion)
first of all, rouge specifically is implied to have a sister relationship to him. its implied multiple times, especially in SA2 that he sees her as a sister the way he saw maria, and when shes in danger he feels the same fear of losing a sister. ignoring that, i feel, takes away from both of their characters and is kinda weird.
second of all, expanding on my previous point— i think shadows deep respect for women and girls is a huge part of him and it doesnt stem from attraction at all which i think is actually VERY important. he sees every woman as an extension of his sister, while her killers were men, and all villains afterwards are ALSO more men! he trusts women and girls naturally, while he distrusts every man he comes across. this doesn’t necessarily mean he sees every girl AS maria and every man AS GUN or other villains, but he does see them in similar light.
shadow has seen the cruelty of men compared to the cruelty of women and from his perspective, women have only been positive influences, people to admire— while the enemy is always a man. i feel turning that to attraction takes the sentiment away of WHY he respects women so highly in the first place. not saying he cant like women, i just feel none of the girl characters hes close to would work without taking this factor out of him. he cares for them so heavily out of deep respect and i feel its kinda disappointing to change that to attraction. it defeats the whole point.
and before anyone says “ok sonadow shipper!” or some dumb shit, the reason why i dont mind him being paired with men isnt cuz i just dont like straight ships or something stupid like that. i will defend hunter and willow from the owl house until i die. and also yuri 4 life dont get it twisted. BUT. shadow just doesnt fit with women in that way, he is gods strongest feminist soldier and i just dont think hed be attracted to them out of such deep respect he just wouldnt consider it. and you could easily argue hes aroace all together. however, with men specifically he doesnt have that deep relationship and respect that i explained prior. i feel it takes away no real meaning to pair him with a man. if anything, it could add a meaning onto his distrust and him learning to trust or something gay like that.
basically, i just enjoy seeing a male character so influenced by the girls around him and NOT wanting to bang them in any sense. i find that very important to me and i get it if you dont care but its still sweet to see.
finally tho.. im gonna piss people off here but the sonic fandom is very ship-brained and i need to put it into perspective for yall that both shadow and sonic would be 20 when amy would be 16. i get that she definitely isnt always younger than them, but she is in plenty of versions of herself and is intended to be half the time, so i just dont get how you can bring yourself to ship them. but maybe thats just me. ive always found that to be uncomfortable even when i was little watching sonic X. i just dont feel comfortable pairing most of the cast together, especially amy specifically due to even the most sliver of a question abt her age making me feel weird. its honestly kinda funny that, mostly, the only characters that are the same age to be shipped are all men. again, im not fujo-brained, its just a coincidence with the characters specifically that i think shipping the guys is genuinely more appropriate MOST of the time. (not always!)
idk i dont think anyone is terrible for shipping shadow with the girl characters but it does make me super uncomfortable and i just wanted to expand on that cuz i like talking here and seeing others thoughts or whatever. dont get it twisted tho, some of you ARE weirdos and i wont tolerate you. BUT. thats not rlly what this is about and its not all of you. please dont misunderstand
#also something to be said. please stop sexualizing him. god PLEASEEEEE HES 16 AND A HEDGEHOG!!!!!!!#sonic fandom is 50 50 the worst shit you ever seen or the best day ever spongebob#off topic tho my bad#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fandom#sonic opinions#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the ultimate lifeform#sonic x shadow generations
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Im having modern day au alver x ogcale thoughts :,)
The setting is sort of like a earth 1’s korea except the catalysm happened waaaaay before like decades before, so fighting the monsters is way easier and more normal tho its still considered really hard and dangerous work (barely any deaths anymore but injuries are p common)
The soos all work at the company together. Cale (22 yrs old) is estranged from his family and also works at the company (hes happy to watch his little brother and little sister succeed from afar). Cale and kim rok soo constantly get compared bc theyre both serious and hard workers who tell people all the time that they wanna quit/slack off (they will never actually quit or slack off). Bc cale isnt actually in his familys life anymore he doesnt need to pretend to be trash and hes smiley like when hes krs in canon
Bc kim rok soo isnt as traumatized as in canon from losing his only friends he manages to make more friends (taylor sten, cage, eruhaben, he obvs manages to find his kids, choi han is also here and not as traumatized he just got kidnapped by monsters for like 10 years and is back home now, the whale tribe the wolf tribe the jungle queen the- you get the point. Kim rok soo is basically the companys information network at this point)
Idk if i should make krs and the other soos 36 etc still or if i should make them younger? (Like in late twenties, just a little older than when the soos minus krs died in the og timeline). In any case somehow its still cale nagging krs abt staying healthy and eating well and exercising, not the other way around
Maybe cale still has his adopted niece (aka reincarnated mom but ig he doesnt know that in this au)??
Alver (27 yrs old) has inherited his fathers trillion won company and is a repressed workaholic CEO (or maybe his father has a rlly succesful company and alver has become rlly succesful in politics instead?? Tho what ive seen the rlly succesful companies’ heirs in korea are lowkey treated with the same importance as a politician so it doesnt rlly matter)
Tasha pressures alver into taking 1 single day off. He obliges and almost gets assassinated by the mob (the white stars gang, and yes they do have powers). They decide to hire alver a specialized bodyguard. Cue the company: cale gets chosen as a guard while a few others (including kim rok soo) work on figuring out how to take out the white stars little group
Idk what power to give cale yet 👀 i wanna say either smth to do with time or smth to do with plants BUT i can also just give him both?? Or a power that combines the two?? I will look up symbolism to decide later lol
ANYWAY smiley bodyguard cale x repressed ceo alver. Cale falls first alver falls harder. Cale surprising alver with loyalty and cunning and with how he goes out of his way to take hits meant for alver. Alver being perfect and cale doing his best to goad alver into letting go of that mask every moment theyre alone
Multiple specific scenes im thinking:
- alver is goaded into taking a day off by tasha again a few months after the assassination attempt, this time with cale. They go to a café and have cutesy talks together (cale is just constantly being glib trying to trip alver up while alver is annoyed and into it)
- alver has to go to a high-end event. Cale comes with as his bodyguard/date (the date part is just a cover but they both wish it was real). They meet basen who is in complete and utter shock trying to hide it (he will do a full report back to the henituse family later)
- i need the company to go to a karaoke bar every friday bc i love karaoke. Cale sort of likes it and puts up minimal resistance every time. Kim rok soo does NOT want to go but he ends up napping the whole time every friday so its not that bad. During his bodyguard job with alver cale has to decline a few times. The company manages to wrangle cale into just bringing alver with him to karaoke (the repressed ceo of a trillion won company going to a shitty karaoke bar with a bunch of rowdy office workers/sort-of-soldiers is funny to me)
- at some point it gets serious and cale takes a bullet or otherwise rlly damaging attack that was meant for alver. He has to go to the hospital and alver realizes that oh shit its not a good idea to develop feelings for someone whos job it is to take bullets for you. And then he realizes of shit i developed feelings wtf??? And then he thinks i should stop feeling this way. And then he looks at cale again, whos passed out in the hospital bed and hes like im not gonna be able to stop feeling this way, am i. Fuck. Shit. Damnit
- they have a summer wedding 🥰
- neither of them are even involved w the white star mob. They just suddenly get a call from krs like “hi. I did the job. The others want me to tell you that im in the hospital btw.” Cale and alver visit him in the hospital and cale comforts krs by saying “dw, one day youll have your farm with the other two idiots. One day. Maybe.”
- that one scene in adventure time with bonnie and marcy and bonnie leans against marcy and closes her eyes and is like “wake me up in like 20 minutes.” Them. Them. Them. Them-
- cale slowly connecting with his family after him and alver met basen at that one event. First its deruth just calling (most painful and awkward phone call in the world where deruth very obviously avoids talking abt anything important and cale is just too confused abt why hes calling to pick up on any of it.) Then basen and lily start texting him. Then lily just shows up at his house to visit. It all snowballs from there with just little awkward moments of the family trying to rebuild a bridge with cale and cale just being confused abt what they want from him and why theyd wanna see him (its bc they love him bc hes family and theyre worried abt him)
- eventually deruth visits his house in person. This is also the moment where they finally actually have The Emotions and deruth acknowledges the abandonment and emotional neglect and cale confesses it was all an act but that he also actually thought they really didnt want him and that he thought he was ruining his fathers perfect new family with his presence and that he got rid of himself bc he thought it would make them happier
- cale goes to therapy.png. The family rejoices. The company also rejoices. The company stops rejoicing when he starts badgering everyone else to also get therapy (they really really all need it)
- the confession happens after cale isnt alvers bodyguards anymore. Cale has managed to talk alver into meeting every week at alvers place and just talking or playing chess or whatever they feel like doing. Theyre just doing their weekly catching up and cale is being especially wonderful talking abt his kid and alver being especially sleepdeprived just kisses him right on the mouth. He immediately backtracks and tries to be glib abt it like “im so sorry i dont know what came over me-“ but cale just kisses him back and then the next scene they wake up no clothes in bed together. They have been pining for at least a year by this point they deserve this
- alver goes to therapy after they officially get together bc cale pushed him to. It actually helps a little??? He is absolute shit abt opening up but the therapist has some generic tips abt managing his overworking problem
- most of the groomsmen/bridesmaids (or groomsmaids??) are part of the company. Tasha is alvers maid of honor. Basen is cales groomsman or honor or however the hell thats called lol. Cales niece is the flower girl and raon is the ringbearer. Cales family is there and robbit and his wife are there too + obvs alvers maternal family.
- summer wedding
Ok this is all for now
#just talking dmm#tcf#trash of the counts family#lout of the counts family#lcf#og cale henituse#alver crossman#other ppl are here too but they dont have a big role sooo#idk if i should tag them lol
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I have some ideas regards PJO x DC
Steph and Tim:
I love the idea of Tim or Steph being mortal and struggling to feel of any value when their predecessors were the kids of gods.
But like it only works if one of them is Mortal because I feel like Tim won’t feel out of place for long enough before Steph comes around to maximise angst potential (if my understanding of the timeline is correct) And Steph probs wouldn’t feel inferior mortality wise if Tim is also Mortal.
Like it’s gottta be one or the other if you get what I’m saying.
Duke:
I love the idea that Duke is mortal but still a Meta so he doesn’t feel as out of place with his powers because it’s normal in the world of Gods and maybe as a result the kids know how to help him. But he has to adjust to the idea that they exist and some of the bad guys they fight that may look like mob members aren’t they’re monsters and at first he can’t see that but then eventually he learns to see through the mist using his powers somehow.
Babs:
I love mortal Babs who just stubborns her way into the family business. I think it really helps to establish her determination.
Bruce:
I have the idea that Bruce is a legacy and thus clear sighted and that’s part of why he became Batman. Because he saw all these horrible monsters that most people don’t know are there and he couldn’t stand the thought of demigod children being forced to fight against them before some of them even have any training. Thus the Batman deals with his regular real world threats like the joker and the mob while also killing what monsters he can to make the world just a little bit safer for the demigod children out there
yeah i was thinking abt mortal tim and steph- it would absolutely be fantastic for the angst angle- tim feeling as if hes not as good as dick and jason who are demigods. mortal steph would also be interesting and i was also considering it just because i cant really find a parent that fits her. her being mortal would also add to her angst aspect, feeling like shes not good enough for the batfam because theyre all powerful, etc etc…
duke i do want to not be involved in the greek world at first. him as just a regular meta would also play into how different he is from the other bats normally- the only meta, the daytime bat, yknow. it would be really interesting to see how his powers could also affect his understanding of the greek stuff, how he could potentially see through the mist a bit, even if not a lot. i made a post on how he might be more affected by the godly aspects of them, how he may see their eyes as being a bit too… inhuman and how their veins seem to be a bit too gold (also how if he ever were to run into a god he might see them brighter than anyone else does.) just a lot of good stuff to consider with duke.
babs i def want to be mortal. she starts off as mortal- clearsighted or not, and then learns about everything via dick or bruce. im thinking post TKJ, after she takes on oracle she might get a visit from apollo who gives her something, unsure what. so yeah mortal babs with a blessing from apollo.
and yeah, bruce is either a clearsighted mortal, a mortal who learned abt the greek world (whether it be thru diana or somewhere else) and made himself see thru the mist, or a legacy. and yes should deal with both the regular criminals and monsters. im thinking wayne manor could be a safeplace for some demigods in gotham. idk bruce is a demigod magnet.
(it could also be interesting to explore alfreds role in this- ive seen some stuff for hestie son/devotee alfred, or satyr alfred- and i think having him be some sort of magic could be intriguing. he could potentially set of the same kind of forcefield around wayne manor to keep monsters out. might be worth looking into hecate kid alfred?)
#tim drake#steph brown#duke thomas#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#the bat pjo au#ashbox
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HELLO YES ITS ME IM COPY PASTING THE THING HERE:
YOU JUST MADE THE CHILD IN ME BLOOM. THE QUESTION LIST (THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM SEEING THIS AU BUT GOD FORBID):
× Who's Hoodie
× Is it in the same time setting as MH
× Who PLAYS AS ALEX
× Did it start the same way as a dumb school film project?
× From what I understood Scar takes the role of Tim, is bro a chainsmoker too LMFAO.
× Is Grian canonically gay too
× Would it be a wild correct guess that Amy is Lizzie and Alex is Joel since yk based from obvious plot points?
(before I start, placing this disclaimer here at the top since I have friends who don't frequent mcyt and might get confused, but when I talk abt this au I'm specifically talking abt the characters, not the content creators themselves. Anyway)
SO IM GONNA GO AHEAD AND SHARE WHOSE WHO FIRST
Jay- Grian, it made the most sense in my head, but I actually flip flopped on this so many times bc he also works so well as Tim or Alex, but at some point I went "wait it's an au, we can see how the story changes with Grian as the protag" so Grian's the protag now
Tim/Masky- Scar, I'm a transparent desert duo enjoyer and had a similar flip flop with him as I did Grian bc he'd also work as Jay but I was halfway through that drawing and had a similar thought process to the one i had abt Grian
Brian/Hoodie- Jimmy, I wanted to keep the cast focused to life series and evo members and he made the most sense to me lore wise, especially with the idea that in this au he was one of the ones with the earliest exposure to The Watcher (bc I love Canary Curse symbolism)
Alex- This one was the toughest choice bc no matter what a fav is going to loose it. Good thing this based on the Life Series! As much as I Love the idea of Joel and Lizzie as Alex and Amy, I actually went with Martyn. Again, the character is pretty involved with the Watcher Lore so it made the most sense as the character that is arguably most effected by it. (Although for a brief moment I considered Mumbo Jumbo bc,,, how fucking funny would that be)
Jessica- Jessica's gotta be Pearl right? It makes the most sense for it to be Pearl, I don't even need reasoning for this it makes sense
Amy- So who's Amy then? Scott actually! He's not Martyn's boyfriend in this, he's just a really good friend of his who was super involved in the production. Also like in mh, he's Pearl's roommate.
Sarah- Ren. Can't have a life series au featuring desert duo and not have some renchanting. Who else would be one of the leading actors in Martyn's short film?
Seth- Big B, again Evo connection made sense to me, and depending on your own personal theory on who the third person running the totheark account is, both Big B and Ren have interesting implications, even if both their rolls are p minor in this au
With the cast out of the way other questions !!!
It's set in a kind of nebulous time frame that's probably a little closer to present day, but it does still start with a student film project. When asked Why Martyn chose to use tapes he says something about wanting a more authentic feel to the film but in reality he just thought using tapes was a cool idea and doesn't want to admit that it's kind of impractical now.
In this au Scar doesn't smoke, but instead I like the headcannon that he just has boxes of candy/bubblegum cigarettes on him at all times. He'll pull one out, pause, and offer one to someone and when they say no he's just like "Okay, your loss" and watch as they get all confused when he starts unwrapping it asdfghkgkdjhfjsh
Is Grian gay in this au? Whose to say. (Real answer tho, I'm a notorious Jam shipper and while I'm not an active shipper when it comes to hermitcraft or the life series, I don't really mind it so the relationship is left kind of ambiguous)
But yes THANK YOU DO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO TALK ABT THIS IVE BEEN RAMBLING TO MY FRIEND WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING IVE BEEN SAYING FOR DAYS
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ummm hello I would like way more about hunger games au pls I'll take anything wheres Jimmy where's Tango wheres Scar from I will take whatever you give me I will go feral over this thank you
!!!! ok first off i just wanna say u made my day with this ask im so excited that other people r excited abt this and want to hear my explosions (also i definitely want to make individual profile posts for each tribute so this will be. sparknotes of what i have thought up so far :D) Tango - i have tango in district 3, along with mumbo. district 3 is the technology district, and with mumbos redstone contraptions and tango's decked out programming, it felt very obvious placements to me :] i dont think they were very close at all before the games. not in a bad way, just they didn't cross eachothers paths all that much (subject to change but in life series canon theyre never on the same team iirc). theyre cordial in the proceedings before the games but dont train together or plan to team up. tango, skizz, and bigb eventually ally together during the training days before the games! (aka heart foundation) Jimmy - jimmy and scar are actually from the same district, district 11! 11 is the agriculture district, and to place jimmy in this district i pulled from his ranchers and empires sheriff vibes if that makes sense. i also just know that 11 is one of the poorest districts and doesn't usually do well in the games, and we all know jimmy in these games. (i considered jimmy in 12 bc of the canary thing, but skizz and impulse r from there and i figured putting him somewhere else is fun too!) scar - as said above, scar is from district 11! i don't think he is expected to do super well in the games from the reaping, but during interviews its clear that he has the charisma to get some sponsors. i honestly haven't thought up all that much for scar yet but dw i will (he literally wins. how could i ignore him) fun fact! scar and jimmy were going to kind of team together, but during the first day of training, scott (career tribute) makes some joke to gem about how they wouldnt stand a chance if they teamed together bc of their district. jimmy let this get in his head and decided to split from scar, causing both of them to be loners at the start of the games. jimmy eventually finds martyn during the games and they ally bc of reasons (that i can get into if we want to), but scar stays relatively alone honestly most of these tributes and their district placements are pretty set in my mind, except for martyn, cleo, and bigb, who i still can't figure out where to put (if anyone has suggestions pls send them lmao). ive got some bits and plot points from the series already worked out into a hunger games universe, but a lot of it i dont! if theres any specific part of the series anyone wants to ask about, please do!! i work best when someone tells me what to brainstorm on lmao. anyways lol hope yall r liking this! i dont have any clue if it will gain any traction, but i've been thinking abt this au so much since the finale and i wanted to try and share it and talk about it with people :D pls send comments or asks abt any of it if you want to !!!
#secret life#life series#traffic life series#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#tango tek#tangotek#goodtimeswithscar#hunger games au#secret life hgau#asked and answered
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the last chapter for walking study in demonology was CRAZYYY im so happy you updated. im so curious about what your thought process in writing it and if youre willing to share?? you dont have to if you dont want to btw! but in any case thank u so muchhh
hey thank you! appreciate it
okay super long answer below
honestly this one was difficult. idk if its bc its been a while since i write fics from scratch so i might have forgotten how difficult the whole thing is, but this one was tough. ch 8 wasnt from scratch tho cos i had the drafts since like 2022 or smthg lol
ik the formatting is non conventional in ch 8 and i was aware that itd be hard to read for some people. but i do think abt the readers often when i write.. mainly not what the readers want in terms of storyline (altho ofc i consider this too sometimes lol) but what the reading experience will be like for them.
i.e consider if id written the chapter in a linear, traditional way and narrated the confrontation between 1-A and LoV (or even other wackier “Villains” like godzilla and invading aliens or whatever). the truth is, although def easier to read, that version will be very boring.
(i know bc i tried and scrapped those versions.)
(im sure a better writer can write it interestingly but i am not a better writer.)
the thing w writing these traditional fight scenes is tht im sure — im 1000% positive in fact — that the readers have read it before. there r literally thousands and thousands of bnha fics out there with great fight scenes, on top of the actual manga, where youve read these characters fight their assorted villains. why would i make you read that again, esp when i know i cant do it better? i already know the readers r just gonna skim the chapter if thats the case. ive been a reader, ik what fic fatigue is like — esp with bnha when everythings been rehashed infinity times in infinity different ways.
same thing also applies with even the “metaness” of the fic itself.
i dont want the fic to come off like its talking down to readers, whom i believe alrdy have the instinctual knowledge of what the fic is trying to do. im willing to bet tht the readers have read something similar to this before, like multiverses n time loop n meta stuff, also cosmic horror. i still end up narrating some things even though often i feel im being too explanatory. i jst feel like the readers will know what im talking abt by virtue of their familiarity to the tropes involved.
therefore the least i can do is serve it in an interesting way, aka the fuckass formatting. like although the tropes im doing r done so many times before, at the very least i cld let the readers hopefully have fun by piecing it together puzzle-style with the fragmented formats — so its more of an experience thing rather than jst a lore dump. i dont like lore dumps, they can be condescending.
demonology def doesnt succeed in avoiding that however. in fact its fallen to that exact trap. ch 4 and 6, those r very lore-dumpy. i tried to make it fun w the humor dialogue style but its not perfect. i know tht by ch 8 that tricks alrdy old, and the readers have all the puzzle pieces at this point anyway so itd be even more repetitive than it alrdy is. even so i still feel im being too explanatory esp with the emotional arcs but thats a skill issue on my part
overall i feel demon can be more oblique and “elegant” in its mechanics.
but anyway, it IS crack… it was never meant to promise intelligence, least of all eloquence lmfao. its never meant to be taken seriously.
of course, at this point u can tell that i actually am taking it pretty seriously LOL. i never meant to write meta fiction. i have some gripes w it, namely that i feel meta fiction is used by weaker writers as a storytelling crutch n it can come off as lazy — demon is guilty of this too. but now that i end up writing meta fiction, i might as well fucking commit and try to push it as crazy as i can. if its not gonna be good, at least it can be interesting, or weird.
blah blah im yapping. point is, ik the end product might look very “random” and pastiche as if i was jst doing whatever i wanted … which, true … but it went thru a lot of trials and errors until this final version. you would not believe the amount of time ive rewritten this chapter, due to all those ^ considerations.
however i always knew i was going to start ch8 with the classic mary sue “fanfiction” — that segment was written a long time ago like in 2022/2023?? and mostly stayed unedited since, unlike the rest of the fic which i stripped and repainted and restripped again lol
ok thanks for reading abt my wack anime crack fic writing process that, again, shld not be taken seriously. i will admit however that i do put a lot of effort n heart into it so i cannot pretend i am aloof and disaffected. id be lying if i say its been easy. i consider it a miracle i updated at all. i keep saying its not meant to be taken serious but if i managed to make it even a little bit meaningful, id be very happy.
ah also. bnha ending actually forced me to scrap a lot of things too. but it kinda ends up for the better, maybe.
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IVE NEVER CONSIDERED PAPYKAARD BEFORE THAT SOUNDS SO CUTE... actually now im curious what are some of your thoughts on rouxls ships/what his relationship experience is like
OhohoHOHO you have come to the right place!! I love rouxls ships here I will list every one I like and why I like it :3
Kingkaard: This can be two things, either King is a doofus dumbass who is annoyed at himself for falling in love with his servant while Rouxls is a self righteous dumbass and it's goofy shenanigans, or... you have the darker, more toxic variant that isn't cute or romantic (and SHOULD NOT BE ROMANTICISED PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK). I like both a lot, I usually go with the second because it gives my Rouxls a nice backstory (and also gives me an excuse to project my own past traumas) (I mainly do it to project) but with the sheer number of proshitters who romanticise it... :/ goddamn I hate when people romanticise ab*se. There is nothing cute about it. I remember I found a Kingkaard fic with that dynamic that represented what I went though so well that I had to take a break from my phone for a while. And the comments? Full of proshitters who found it "deliciously painful and want king to break him blah blah" :/ goddamn that made me take a second break
Getting off my high horse now, this post isn't where I rant abt proshippers or traumadump
Queenkaard: I LOVE THIS ONE SOO MUCH HEHE it's technically m/f in canon but I like hcing Queen as a genderfuck sapphillean and Rouxls as gay so it's achillean in my thoughts anyways X) Queen would take every opportunity to fluster Rouxls and would be genuinely touched with the gifts he gives her as a sign of his affection
oh yeah side note: Rouxls' love languages would definitely be gift giving and verbal affection :3
METTAKAARD: Two trans gay men who KNOW they're beautiful in love??????? I cannot explain how much I ADORE Mettakaard it is my FAVORITE SHIP OF ALL TIME... on one hand they are both so goddamn flirtatious with each other but then on the other you have them comforting each other as they show their flaws to nobody but each other.... oughfhfhf <3
Papykaard: TWO GOOFY PUZZLE BOYOS WHO COOK TOGETHER I feel like this is great in both the qpr and the romantic way, Papyrus would definitely decide to tutor Rouxls with puzzles and from there, Pap falls first but Rouxls falls harder <3 Papyrus would listen to Rouxls rant for ages and the same vice versa and they would cook together, and Rouxls feels so safe around Papyrus because Papyrus doesn't care about rank, or status, or how clumsy and dumb he is, Papyrus loves him for who he is and he doesn't have to pretend to be something he isn't anymore... Honorary mention to Swap Papykaard where you have swap papyrus and rouxls, I started this in a rp with my friend who writes swap papyrus and we actually found it has a really cute dynamic <3 Rouxls would definitely look after Paps when he doesn't feel the will to get out of bed, and swap pap would always listen to his infodumps and it's just CUTE
PAPYMETTAKAARD I love polycules and here you have PAPYKAARD AND METTAKAARD AND PAPYTON AT THE SAME TIME?!?!!! Sign me up!!
Swatchkaard: "I hate you" "I loveth thee too <3"
Those are the main rouxls ships I like, but a few honorary mentions: Seamkaard can be cute with the right dynamic, I like them as qprs especially :) Jevkaard / Nosuit can be silly and fun too, I don't actively ship it but I do enjoy the ship
#Rouxls Kaard#Kingkaard#queenkaard#mettakaard#papykaard#augh#i love them#Anyways proshippers dni#I'll do a full rant on proshippers someday maybe
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I really love the dynamic between Butcher and Kessler in your writing. It’s a bit like *Fight Club*—chaotic and captivating. Sorry if my focus shifted, but it’s truly something special—this is exactly how I imagined Butchler!! I’m impressed by how well you’ve portrayed every character, even though they aren’t part of the main ship.Thank you so much for it! I really mean it. Can't wait to see more. Any chance we’ll get to see more of Butchler in the future?
OH ITS ABSOLUTELY LIKE FIGHT CLUB... you know when i set out to write this fic kessler was just going to be a vague antagonist to push the plot forward, like i didn't care much for his motivations and such (i think u can see that in ch1, he's very flat there, just sort of taunting billy a little bit), but as i went on writing, their dynamic became very very interesting to me
i rly like stories about, like. intruders taking over ur body, stories about having to live with a sort of supernatural force (or sci-fi, in this case i suppose) in your brain/soul/body and you have to expel it somehow--but maybe you actually start to make peace with it, you two learn to coexist etc etc ive ALWAYS loved stories like that so that's where ive gravitated towards with kessler and i rly didn't care much for him in s4 but now im like THIS GUY RULESSSS, SHOW ME MOREEEE
with kessler i think theres an additional nuance of him taking care of billy, protecting him--but at the same time, he is a cancer tumor. he is killing billy no matter what, his presence causes harm to his host but he still wants billy to go along with his plan, kill all supes etc. in my head, kessler really does care about billy, he views him as wasted potential and just wants him to realize this massive potential (doesn't matter if that potential is related to killing people). i like to think that all those deals he makes with billy are his way of rationalizing his subconscious guilt about killing him. like, he knows he's the intruder here, he knows he's not a real person but he didn't ask to be manifested like this
in bad ending specifically, kessler is absolutely jealous of the attention homelander is getting, he doesn't understand why billy just wont let go... but that's the thing abt billy, he doesn't let people go. that's why kessler looks like a man from his past. i think he has love for billy and that love is expressed in the way he takes care of him, pushes him towards this goal that billy won't admit he wants, but its okay, kessler will sort it out for him. i also added a massive brainfuck element to kessler (he's fully able to just tweak and erase his memories) but i felt like its on theme with what he demonstrated in the show already .
all in all, writing for kessler has been SUUUCH a pleasant surprise, i really didn't expect it. like i genuinely love writing this guy lmfao i save the best zingers for him. i rly liked his 'reverse stockholm syndrome' line LMFAO . i didn't even consider butchler before writing it (except for a few fics i saw there and there about mutual jerking off which rules of course) but there's also . so much unhealthy potential here, its insane. and imagine if the Real Kessler from billys past was someone he was in a relationship in... imagine....
AND TO ANSWER UR QUESTION.... i didnt consider it but wough... im imagining writing a short chapter from kesslers pov and it is very interesting to me.... thinking about unrequited love from kesslers perspective... getting into his thought process, what his life actually looks like as a fauckin tumor inside someones head... the neurons are firing a little bit i must say
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ohmygod i literally just made an account on letterboxd bc i watched saw (2004) and loved it so much and ur interview was so inspiring to me and ive been on an absolute craze trying to reblog like every single saw post on tumblr and i somehow found your account what the heck?!!?!?! ur art is AMAZING and i absolutely love ur takes on saw as a franchise and its significance to the queer community. i hope to be as knowledgeable of this franchise as you are one day despite me only being a baby saw fan!!
i had a quick question; i found on the saw heritage post blog that they thought leigh/james/someone else confirmed that saw (2004) did not actually occur the day before 9/11 despite the phone given to them being set to that date. however, when i asked them if they knew where this source was from (bc im so curious!!! i want to know everything!!!!!!) but neither they nor i could find the actual source for that so i was wondering if maybe u knew??? just curious :3
regardless ty for taking the time to read this and dedicating so much time to this fandom!! i love that horror fans like you exist in a fandom that i previously thought would be weird and slightly disturbed film bros (i had a lot of incorrect preconceived notions about saw that have been quickly resolved i promise)
thank you!! im glad that people feel the same way about it as i do but even if people thought i was some crazy transexual making everyone else woke and pronouns, i wouldnt care. the story, especially lawrences but adams as well, really resonates with me as a trans person for so so many reasons, more than i listed in the interview. to me, i cant read his character without filling in the gaps with trans subtext. it not only explains but also enriches the personal experiences of these characters as well as their dynamics with each other. theyre both characters that are defined primarily by how theyre seen by other people, themselves, and eventually each other. the narrative is soooo focused on perception and masks and who u truly are, i find it hard to separate any kind of queer theory from that.
as for the 9/11 question thats such a dumbass pet peeve of mine. its one of the things that makes me shout UMMMM ACTUALLY at the top of my lungs. my blood pressure sours to inhuman levels when someone confidently says the movie takes place not just in 2001 but the day before 9/11. not because of some interview or confirmation from any of the crew because my knowledge of old fandom history is incredibly spotty. old sites and interviews r a mystery to me for the most part BUT! the reason it is for sure not before 9/11 is because during the flashback of pauls trap (during lawrences monologue about jigsaw) kerry tapp and sing are all at the scene with other officers and i believe its kerry who holds up an evidence bag thats labeled 2004. the scene takes place 5 months before the events of saw 1 so its not possible that it takes place 3 years before that. it just seemed like a funny (but insanely bold considering how 9/11 was only 3 years before) joke and easter egg for people to catch on to, not actual lore meant to be taken seriously.
if u want to look for the interview, i would honestly just listen to the commentary tracks bc it mightve been said there. i know in the one with leigh, james, and cary they discuss plot holes fans complained about, questions fans had online, the fanfic they read (briefly LOL). ive only seen that one (and once) but theres at least 2 other commentary tracks with different people that i havent gotten around to for fear of like. completing saw? idk i cant bring myself to watch all of the commentary tracks but theres a chance they discuss it there! i can only speculate on the reason, all i know is that saw 2004 takes place in 2004 based on actual evidence from the media itself
if u have any other questions let me know. i still have the original draft of the interview which had more questions and longer responses bc i couldve gone on for days abt the lore and saw queer theory and ill never shut up about it
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/310d44d0aac3b640b992467cca8b7ff8/64e9fb8808cce000-ac/s540x810/ae269a47b35549ade6e4ec03dbc73dddad8c7435.jpg)
Your wish is my command, @failedcrow
HOW EPITHETS WORK:
BASICALLY ive come to the conclusion that depending on how general or specific a word is when it comes to an Epithet, the more 'powers' you have (which ive deducted is part of the creativity portion of the epithet reveal card)
For example, if you had an Epithet thats very specific to one thing, like Blizzard, Barrier, etc, you can only do that one thing and thats your whole deal. But if the word is way more general, like Winter, Protection, etc, the more the person can do.
I also dont think hyphenated words count for Epithets, since its technically a 2 in 1? Which I would say isnt fair, but then again Zora is super fucking op for no reason. But I do doubt that someone could get Immortality as their epithet.
I think in the lore you're born with your Epithet, but the way the "word tied to your soul" thing works is kind of like a Witch's bile sac in TOW (with the sac being the word you get your magic from)
FOR THE EPITHET REVEAL CARDS:
I've done a fair share of thinking and eventually came to a few conclusions that all depend on both DND stats and common sense
Proficiency: Strength, Molly made a comment abt Mera and Indus having REALLY high Proficiency, Id i were to look at this from a dnd perspective, Proficiency is a bonus to one skill, which doesn't exactly make sense in the context
Stamina: How long you can last in battle, this just feels obvious tbh
Creativity: I'm torn on this one, cuz I'm thinking its either how many moves a person with an epithet can have OR how interesting/how much thought is put into their movesets. But im leaning more towards the second option since my first theory i technically disproved myself
ERASER CUFFS:
Ok im gonna be honest, the whole way Eraser cuffs work is stupid. Just.... forgetting the Epithet? That raises more questions then answers for me, the ending of episode 7 shouldnt have been possible considering what couldve happened in episode 5 (when Mera and Indus got arrested)
And how does Percy remember her Epithet stamina??? Look, I understand RAMSEY remembering HER Epithet, but I think I have a better idea;
Basically, the cuffs click onto your wrists (feels like a spike color) and it locks off your Epithet until the cuffs come off. After that its a few minute delay to get your Epithet flow back, since its connected to your heart and normally body parts take a while to get blood circulation if cut off, Epithet circulation is gonna be like that too.
"BUT NOAH!!! IF THATS YOUR LOGICAL REASONING WHAT ABT THE ARSENE AMULET?"
For me; it'd work in a similar way, its just that when the cuffs are removed your Epithet comes back. In the case of the Arsene amulet, I say an Epithet user gets their cool powers sucked out from the chest area (Mera did that with Slyvie in ep 4) and then the sac, and the word in it just- schwoop! Gone!
Of course, because of plot, you can get it back. But I have a feeling it has a limit on how many Epithets it can hold before it expells yours. And also before your body just- straight up deflates/gives out from all the Epithets. Pretty sure you can only handle ONE considering it's a ONE WORD ABILITY!!!!!!!
So thats my Epithet Erased rant! Enjoy >:)
#epithet fanart#epithet erased meme#epithet oc#epithet erased ramsey#epithet erased fanart#epithet erased#epithet erased prison of plastic#ee#prison of plastic#slyvester ashling#me rambling#mera salamin#zora salazar#ramsey murdoch#percival king#molly blyndeff#giovanni potage#banzai blasters#noahs thoughts#noah rambles
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some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit
I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.
it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.
The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.
I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.
But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.
oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D
final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3
#elli's random thoughts#women's safety#mens mental health#feminism#no idea what else to tag this so im just gonna throw it into the void#plus I do not want this to end up getting around to actual terf blogs ugh
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long mh post but positive (?). just describing the way i think and my parts. self harm and suicide mentioned tho
i am writing this down bcos i have never written it down before, and i think it will be good to.
so i conceptualise my self as a number of 'parts' acting in tandem, each with their own wants, needs, and ways of behaving. everyone is like this in some way i think, but due to my various experiences and mental makeup mine are a lot more conflicting than most. i developed this understanding to help me reconcile and deal with my own often extremely contradictory thoughts, desires & beliefs. when i am acting in an extreme way i view this as "being in" one of my parts. i suppose they essentially represent different mindsets i often fall into. this is not to say they are not me, or i am not myself when acting in an extreme way. i am always myself, even when i do things i later regret. my self is just a little variable. this way of thinking also helps me to be nicer to myself, as i feel much worse being mean to my parts than to myself as a whole. bcos i made them cute.
i dont consider myself to be a system/plural or to have DID. i gave these parts intentional names and faces myself, and it wasnt until i did this that i heard their voices independently, rather than as just part of my own thoughts. there is almost never disassociation between my parts even when i am clearly most influenced by one. they are not separate 'personalities', just different pieces of the one me. ultimately i dont rlly care how its categorised though. this is just my subjective experience.
i feel silly making this comparison but honestly the closest representation ive seen to how i think is harry's thoughts in disco elysium- chiming in, making suggestions, offering commentary, disagreeing, chattering with eachother sometimes. i hear this inside my head, not as outside voices, and it usually takes at least a little effort to "tune in" and hear them properly instead of just a jumble of voices like my thoughts were before i intentionally separated them. sometimes though its very obvious who's talking without having to think abt it. i am not able to perform this separation when i am too deeply in one mindset- i can hear the other parts talking but i cant think of myself as being in one part.
when im in a calm spot, i can leave the present and go to my 'realm'. this is a very calm and safe place that i have built in my head (it wld take too long to describe bcos it is quite large and detailed but what matters is that it feels like a physical space to me). in my realm i am able to directly 'see' my parts and talk to them as if they were separate people, which is very useful for understanding what each of them wants or is upset or happy about. sometimes i also hold them or am held by them. our usual place to meet formally is a small white iron table under a wisteria by the river, where we have tea and discuss things. when i or one of them is upset and needs soothing, we will often sit on the hillside in the flowers and look out over the river and beyond. it is sometimes difficult or distressing to talk to my parts, and sometimes they say difficult or distressing things whether i am intentionally listening or not. but i know that all of them are simply trying their best. anyway, these are my parts as i currently understand them:
neferu: neferu was the very first part i conceptualised, during the period of several months i spent in hospital. she holds many of my deepest, most difficult and most dangerous feelings. she has the appearance of an opalescent, milky-white serpent with a black mouth, and when i am upset i can physically feel her coiling around inside my ribcage and squeezing my heart, my lungs, my viscera. she spends most of her time asleep and only talks occasionally, when she is roused. when she does it is often angry and bitter. she feels things are hopeless and wishes us to give up, and she speaks my suicidal thoughts. when she talks through me to other people it is often frightening and difficult for them. my friends have largely requested i do not speak to them while in that mindset, which is very understandable. despite this i do not think she is evil. she is only trying to protect me in her own way, and bears my pain. she is a snake because snakes to me are beautiful and protective, but also dangerous and must be approached carefully.
cosette: not related to the les miserables character. i just like the name. she is the part of me that desperately desires love and connection and gets very upset when she feels abandoned or betrayed. most of the time she looks like a large multicoloured beetle with feathered wings under her elytra, but sometimes i turn her into something else to make fun of her or hug her (these are two of the best ways to make her calm down). very, very jealous and possessive. she is possibly the absolute loudest part, especially when she gets riled up which happens very easily. when this happens she flies around in buzzing, noisy circles in my head. most of my self-harm urges come from her. she can be quite exhausting but i love her, because i know she only wants love. cosette gets along best with ganymede.
ganymede: my vanity, my ego, my self-confidence. ganymede looks like a beautiful androgynous figure with moth wings or simply like a huge, fluffy white moth. they are supremely convinced of their (and our) own incredible beauty, intelligence and deservingness. it is very rare for me to be "in" ganymede but when it happens it feels thrilling and energising. ganymede does actually talk often but tends to get shouted down or drowned out. they very much enjoy teasing my other parts, especially genevieve. ganymede can be extremely helpful and can be a huge boost, but they are very unrestrained and selfish, uncaring about boundaries and self-assured to the point of arrogance. this can sometimes enable self-destructive behaviours. also loves arguing.
genevieve: genevieve is responsible, dutiful, proper. she is the reason i dont wear skirts above the knee and cant say swear words. she looks like a wind-up doll with a doe's head. she is very 'functional' and i will intentionally embody genevieve when i am at work. she makes me sit up straight and attend to my duties and is usually the part to drag me out of bed when i feel paralysed. she is very prone to guilt-tripping and berating when i act in a way that is irresponsible or improper, and is quite scathing of the other parts, particularly ganymede. more than anything she loathes my work in prostitution. to everyone else who is not my parts, however, she is very polite. she is also in charge of the doll-maids who keep my realm's manor tidy (the doll-maids are also versions of me).
morgie: the most 'normal' part of me (for a given definition of normal). mostly level-headed and rational but a bit jumpy and superstitious. cannot be trusted when talking about anything "unreal" but reliable otherwise. the 'voice of reason' and head negotiator when things get heated. unfortunately prone to sarcasm. never the first to speak, but tends to chime in to reply to other parts. she looks like me but a little prettier bcos i cant help myself. she wears lovely dresses.
my teen self: hangs around. talks sometimes but i dont listen. we do not get along. not allowed in the manor and not particularly welcome at meetings. i dont know where my teen self goes at night when everyone else is sleeping in the manor and honestly i dont care. looks like me as a teen, obviously (read: ugly). lulu: my child self. she is very, very quiet and essentially never speaks at all. i feel terrible for her and wish i could help her more. she is the only one allowed into my secret bedroom in the manor as sometimes she wants to sleep next to me. she is often very scared. she looks, of course, like me as a child, but she wears big ruffly dresses that i never actually wore, and her hair is much longer. she is most afraid of neferu and gets along best with morgie. missy: i wrote about her recently. the part of me left over when i disassociate. she deals with my clients and other difficult things. totally apathetic. doesnt talk and doesnt respond when spoken to. barely aware we even exist, i think. i feel very bad for her but there is not much i can do. she fulfills an incredibly important role and i cannot even say thank you. she looks like a vague, flickering shadow.
my future self: i have to call her this because i do not know her name. she has promised to one day tell me. she is who i am meant to become. i never see her directly and do not know what she looks like, but she is vast and luminous and warm, and i think has very long, wavy hair, and perhaps even beautiful wings. she appeared quite unbidden one day without me purposefully envisioning her, which makes her very unique among my parts. at times she stands behind me, and wraps me in her arms and holds me very gently. she is unfailingly patient and kind no matter what, even when i am at my worst. i know that i am supposed to become her, but it is very hard to believe i can. i know i have other parts that i have not put a face and name to yet, because sometimes there are voices or mindsets that are unfamiliar. i will get to them in time. if u actually read this far thank u lots. some of my friends will easily recognise some of these mindsets i think. that is all i have to write. 🌷🌷🌷
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I JUST FINISHED READING THE TRANSLATIONS FOR BOOK 7 AND GOSHHHH so spoilers under the cut i guess???
azul was in jamil’s dream but was just kinda there,, but ill take azul crumbs any way i can!! at least it wasnt anything bad LOLLL bro called jamil master 😭😭
also vil’s screaming and all that was HILARIOUS i think ive seen ppl say it was bc he had a fear of heights but it seemed more like motion sickness? im not sure, but he was so dramatic i love it.
BUFF EPEL ALSO HELPPPP i used to think iy was actually a fanedit until recently so seeing it in canon was just… unbelievable HELPP
ALSO ROOK I ALREADY SAID THIS BUT HE WAS SO CUTE IN BOOK 7, like the way he gushes abt his interests and even idia relating to him, is so,,, so me. he’s me. I LOVE SAVANACLAW ROOK AS WELL!! he looks AMAZING. also i think he has freckles?? im guessing he like, covers it with makeup or something now but THEYRE SO CUTE.
ALSO I JUST LOVED THE SCENE WITB KALIM LIKE,, coming to the realizations of jamil caring about him as a servant, not as a friend. it wasn’t very addressed so plainly in book 4, so it was really refreshing to see and a big step for kalim and jamil in my opinion!
ANYWAY, since we r going backwards, i am SOOO HYPED FOR OCTAVINELLE’S DREAMS! azul is likely to be last and im looking forward to see his dream the most, but im really curious to see what jade and floyd’s will be! maybe jade’s will be something abt,,, uhhh mushrooms. idk really. it’s a mystery and IM SO EXCITED FOR IT.
ALSO, this is not gonna happen soon but im really interested to see cater’s dream as well! from hints in the story, we can tell that cater isn’t as cheery and happy-go-lucky as he puts himself out to be, but they never directly say it. maybe in his dream, they’ll examine that theme a bit more? then again, he wasn’t the one who overblotted so it might not be that serious? im not really sure but im excited for it anhway!!! IM EXCITED FOR RIDDLE AND ACE TOO!! riddle’s is bound to be pretty good considering how he overblotted, and that seems to be the theme so far, but we know next to nothing about ace.
like, we see who he is on the surface but do we really know what a happy dream to him is? like, his aspirations and all that.
unimportant, this reminds me of the time i was thinking about a danganronpa x twst crossover and STRUGGLED with what ace’s would be. i ended up just picking ultimate basketball player, but it still doesn’t seem entirely accurate. we don’t really know much about the inner workings of his mind or what he was like before arriving at nrc so im really curious to see what his dream will be.
EITHERWAY, im rambling and i doubt many people, if ANY 😭😭, will read this but goshhh i have so many thoughts i love this book so much😭🙏🙏🙏 peace and love guys.
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Also, I have a question about the cruise ship, 🚢 considering that you are currently working as a tour guide for German tourists AND Nace our beloved said that he started his musical on a cruise ship playing for German tourists. Is it really a thing that cruise ship trips outside of Germany are so popular among Germans? Or is it just a pure coincidence?
oh haha i have thought abt that funny coincidence before and ive thought abt whether or not there is a way to make an AU out of that, working my job and experiences into a bonace bit maybe. basically im stationary here on this island and when the cruises come, i show the people around etc and sometimes when theres still spots left on a tour, crew members get to come along. ive had the same girl come with me twice, by coincidence, on two different tours. bc basically the cruises go in circles all the time just with different guests on board so the people working on the ship will come here a few times per season soooo. nace used to play in a band on a cruise. bojan has mentioned hes worked as a tour guide before. maybe nace gets to take part on one of bojans tours once, then goes back for more each time they stop at the same place, they flirt a little and then exchange phone numbers, flirt more over text and get more excited to see each other next time etc etc
sorry that was so not the question lmao anyways just something ive been having fun thinking about
back on topic. germans looooove cruise ships. so much. a lot of times even supermarkets have little free brochures with pages and pages of the different routes you can book. like to all different parts of europe and worldwide idk where most people go, but tours to scandinavia are also very popular. germans love scandinavia. our island is also being swarmed by camper vans, every time i pass one in the road i check the license plate and 8/10 times its a german one lol
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