#ive seen that post going around and like. i get where op's coming from but also
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
"3 months of strike have made no difference to me" okay cool. they make a difference for me. Grey's Anatomy, Station 19, and 911 would normally start a new season over the next month or so. but because of the studios being stubborn assholes, they won't.
i know streaming services have a large chunk of show production, and yeah streaming services haven't had consistent schedules like network shows do because they dont have to fit their shows into particular slots. But network TV still exists, and the strikes are affecting the schedule.
#blue ramblings#wga strikes#sag aftra#sag strike#ive seen that post going around and like. i get where op's coming from but also#it's very much not a universal experience#that's all im saying
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
i just found this post
https://www.tumblr.com/the-entire-cast-needs-therapy/669962726712475648/ive-seen-people-complain-about-adoras-line-in
and i’m just constantly dumbfounded by how the fandom mischaracterizes and villanizes adora. don’t get me wrong, adora is definitely not perfect and has a lot of flaws. but it almost seems like the fandom wants to justify their liking for the main character (because liking a main character is so basic, right?) that they are willing to paint her as toxic and selfish, just to make her look more “complex”.
adora is complex as she is. but she’s not a control freak. there’s a difference between trying to control someone and stopping them from committing actual crimes. the way the fandom talks, you would think adora is bossing catra around all the time. but no, even when they were both in the horde, adora was pretty lax except for when she was worried that catra might get into trouble with shadow weaver. adora even broke the rules for the sake of pleasing catra, when she had no reason to do that. if anything, catra was the one who constantly tried to control adora, even dropping the banger of a line “i’ve got complete control of adora, i’m not letting that go”.
but fans see adora desperately trying to hold the world together and prevent catra from KILLING thousands of people, and they’re like “omg adora is such a control freak, she can’t just let catra do what she wants”. what do they want adora to do? just step back and let catra destroy everything? join catra and help her commit mass genocide? insane mindset honestly, i cannot wrap my head around this take.
Do not harass the person in the link.
Jesus Christ, I couldn't even get through the post once OP called her a "control freak".
Adora wanting to know about herself and where she came from is not her being a control freak. It's Adora trying to make her own choices - because Shadow Weaver, Catra and Light Hope never allowed Adora to be anything other than a soldier or a weapon. She was not allowed to even be a person.
The reason why Adora saying she "liked the idea of having a destiny" is out of character is because we don't see her naturally resolving that inner conflict. I don't think Adora needed to find her biological family, considering they might as well be dead, and Adora already has a family in Bow, Glimmer and the others. But she should've been allowed to find this peace, and not be dictated by her "feelings" for Catra. Adora's entire arc in season 5 is basically to be in a relationship with Catra, nothing else.
And yeah, Adora never meant to control Catra, she just wanted to protect her and others. How is that controlling behavior? How is that ABUSIVE even, since everyone loves to paint Adora as an abuser?
This is why I'm convinced that people hate Adora, because I've never seen so much hatred towards her coming from a fandom that apparently wants her to be happy.
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
every1 that voted rinne as worst husband is so wrong... its literally canon that he cares SO much and fakes his insane persona hes just awkward and embarassed when he gets noticed
i have so many things i can say about this but im really bad at words but theyre stewing around in my brain explodes
what were your thoughts?
i do agree with the ones that mention niki haha those are true rinne is absolutely smitten but the ones that say its like. because hes rinne amagi. and others thay were probably filtered out by the OP... people that either didnt read the main story or just dont want to look further lmao
(cracking my fingers) okay. this may or may not be long. i fear you have struck a bit of a nerve with this (NOT YOU but just as like. a general statement. i feel like u dont know what ur asking. but that is ok)
this whole thing might seem really aggressive at times bc this situation did get me a little heated... plz keep that in mind going in! AGAIN IM NOT ANGRY AT YOU ANON ILY AND THANK YOU FOR ASKING you just happened to ask abt smth i feel very sourly about – not the poll itself but the answers to it – but i tried to be as. tactful as i possibly can while talking abt this
overall im very disappointed in a lot of the answers given for the voting so ive stayed off twitter almost all day today and yesterday. i fear like with stuff like this a very silent population of eng side shines through, the one that specifically Doesnt actually engage with the story and goes off fanon interpretation. look, im not saying its necessarily a bad thing. but when it comes to stuff like this, where people grossly mischaracterize a grand majority of charas or narrow them down to be the butt of a joke, or use it as an excuse to be plain racist/ableist, i feel like people really need to reassess where all of this is coming from. like. not rinne, but KANAME couldnt even be included because the answers used for his votes were, in their majority, apparently ableist, and op (definitely in the right, i think this was the right choice to make) chose not to post at all because they feared the qrts would be just as bad. because for some reason people seem to think that because they're fictional characters that being ableist is somehow ok, that saying they would "pull the plug" on charas like him and eichi is fine because theyre not real people – as if there werent disabled or chronically ill people in this fandom, in every fandom, or hell, around you?
and lets not mention tatsumi and people blatantly misinterpreting his christianity as something he would force upon others – first of all, western christianity does not apply to tatsumi. at all. i understand that people might find it easy to just associate him with that and make "haha, he would make me convert" or "haha he would be a homophobe" quips, and obviously its not necessary to have extensive knowledge on kirishitan history in japan and how they are, to this day, a minority that was persecuted for a lot of japan's modern history. LIKE, EVEN FROM HIS DIALOGUE IN ANY STORY.. when has he given off that impression? cite your sources, he's literally one of the most inclusive and accepting charas in the whole cast! not a prejudiced white christian middle aged mom...
i think that if you absolutely must reduce a character to tasteless jokes, stereotypes that arent even funny to begin with, and you refuse to even read the source content at all to correct yourself, you really need to think about how you engage with any media, not just enstars. if you want to look at the pretty characters just say that! but dont be like this, and don’t speak on things you don’t fully understand as if you did just to make a point or be funny!
OKAY RINNE SORRY LOL i hate it. i hated all of it and judging by the ratio many people seemed to dislike it as well (god bless!). if you havent seen it i wont link it bc tbf i dont feel like looking at it again (peace and love) but the answers summed up are like "oh he would steal my money" "hes selfish and would take stuff from me and not gaf about my wellbeing" "hes married to niki already" the last one being the only one i agree with. and it makes me think about a lot of issues with how a good portion of the fandom sees rinne. ive seen a lot of people read rinne in bad faith, regardless of whether theyve read main story, hot limit or any story rinne is in. and i dont get it, genuinely. YES he can be upsetting! he can be an asshole, he can be rude, he DOES steal money from niki! but these people neglect to see or mention that he gives it back and then some. they fail to talk about how he spends a lot of his time trying to make niki see his self worth!! since hiiro was BORN he's been trying to get him to understand that he's deserving of love!! that YES he can be a dick but ultimately treats crazy:b and his friends with love and wants what's best for them! these are the same ppl that think he's abusive or something idk i can only assume. like yeah rinne has a carefully crafted persona where hes a complete dickhead and ig some players cant really bother to see past that act
unfortunately rinne himself is built on a few harmful stereotypes of ainu culture irt the drinking, being portrayed or viewed as more 'uncouth' by other characters, etc which is why the initial more explicit ties to ainu culture were removed altogether from his and hiiros design and background. it is understandable, which is for example why it's not really my place to say whether he can be interpreted as ainu or not, and even so, i try not to rely on those aspects of him because it still veers into sensitive territory. and its an unfortunate part of his character, but undeniably, rinne amagi DOES drink, (he's one of the only characters in main cast of drinking age anyway) does partake in harmful behaviors, but fsr suddenly that means hes nothing but a drunkard, to a lot of people. when reading rinne you really have to take these things and ofc, consider that theyre relevant to his character, but it's not all there is...? in the slightest..? there used to be a tweet thread explaining this link further but it's either been taken down or the account has been locked. either way, just a bit of googling goes a long way. i'd rather not go into too much detail here because i don't feel informed enough beyond pointing these issues out, and i personally feel like it's not really my place. if anybody wants to add onto this post to cite more specific sources please feel free
he's such a fun loving, cunning, caring guy who helps people get jobs (dance of the white tiger), who volunteers to play with kids at a daycare (asobi), and wishes so badly to become an idol and grant everyone the same opportunities if theyd like to be, as well (main story, sudden death SUDDEN DEATH IS MY FAV STORY AFTER HL BUT THE TL IS DOWN....SORRY. but i really really think it's one of the most important ones when it comes to rinne's character and motivations. also if u can read it in app it's even better bc it's voiced and theres a line where he's like "oh this guy's [niki] is engaged to me" when talking to kohaku's sister AND HE SOUNDS FULLY SERIOUS TOO....)
don't get me started on people who dumb him down as if he wasn't one of the most clever characters in the game. and unknowingly, people that continue to make rinne's character out to simply be a gambling flirty drunkard who doesn't know how to control himself, as if there weren't other facets of him – they lean into stereotypes, bordering on racism, even if its not malicious or theyre not aware. and it makes me so sad. a lot of the time these interpretations are spread around and then liking characters like him becomes some sort of moral debate, esp in current fandom (which is one of the reasons i think this stereotyping? happens? b/c ive found that fandom sometimes has the tendency of grabbing characters and mischaracterizing them so BADLY that liking them makes you a bad person..? not necessarily villains either! i promise it's okay to just dislike characters without making stuff up!)
that aside also suggesting he'd be an awful, neglectful spouse is simply incorrect. i very firmly believe that if rinne is devoted, he will drop every vice, every pretense, to make the other person happy. he's Like That in the story and towards niki because they keep tiptoeing around the subject but the second he gets an inner monologue, or is truly being genuine, you can tell he would do anything for him, if niki would just let him. to say that rinne isn't capable of being a good partner because he'll treat you badly or not care about you just proves to me that you're not reading any scene he is actually in. if rinne loves you, romantic or not, he will go big or go home. read hot limit btw
im not about to pull the story caps out no wait yes i am lol rinniki4ever ✌️
these arent in order bc i had to scroll up like 2k pictures because i take caps of this game every time i blink. i was considering adding hiiro caps, to show his dedication to him as well, but given that this is for like a marriage poll id rather not. either way he cares about his family and loved ones a lot. read chapter 155 if you want to know the exact scene i was thinking about/referring to while typing this
um ok (breathes out) im fine now. theres things i didnt address because it's 1 am and i want to go to sleep. congrats kuro on getting #1 most marriageable tho u deserve it KURO NUMERO 1 CAMPEAO DO MUNDO 💯💯💯🔥
#im not tagging this with anything else#im sorry if i sound snobby or just. idk. mean at all. it isnt even a matter of media literacy anymore its more like#sometimes interpreting stuff on such a surface level and having to make jokes out of everything is not the best way to go#especially when the jokes are harmful/offensive. you dont really see this behavior outside of eng fandom#this isnt meant to be scolding i just wish people understood!!#but like if people say something is offensive rather than just doubling down...listen? please#im not an authority on enstars obviously i havent caught up on anything non alkakurei since like 2018. these are just my thoughts#if you read all of it i appreciate you :)#its not that serious. unless youre being purposely ableist and or racist which in that case it is that serious#mimthinks
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh gosh me ranting about people downplaying Flynn again😅
I feel like I’m insane or something how do so many people not see how broken he is?! I think people who say these kinds of things have never actually even played SMT IV.
Other points I just mentioned in this post rather than previous ones:
Flynn is part of Vishnu-Flynn who was supposed to solo YHVH in his complete state without any allies or demons to help. Considering Flynn absolutely fodderizes Krishna he’s obviously contributing way more than 50% of the fusion’s power. Not to mention Vishnu-Flynn was not complete when you fought him since the fusion was so incredibly unstable you could hit Flynn out of Krishna.
Things people love to leave out when discussing Aleph is the fact he also has allies with him no matter the route he at least has one. His demons and his allies would also be helping him too. From this logic you could reason that Flynn and Aleph are actually very comparable to each other power wise. I know what I’m about to say will sound like peak heresy, but he might actually be stronger than Aleph. I’m not saying substantially I mean just a bit.
The King of Bel gets lots of attention because he was a threat to YHVH. However, he and Demi-Fiend obviously fails because YHVH is STILL around in Apocalypse. The only ones that actually truly kill YHVH are Flynn, Nanashi, and the others. YHVH is dead in SMT V so they canonically killed YHVH. That means the King of Bel even with a bunch of help from his allies like Naoya and co still lost. More heresy I honestly think Flynn and Nanashi must be stronger than him then considering they can beat YHVH with only four people. I mean come on Demi-Fiend had an entire legion of demons with him and Lucifer and still lost.
You can’t even pull the Flynn is just human card because he’s not. The Explosive Pandemic dlc revealed that everyone in Mikado are basically sleeper demons so no that excuse doesn’t work either. Flynn is technically a demon going by his genes. He just doesn’t know it. Hugo specifically calls himself and the people of Mikado “celestial beings” whatever the hell that means. He says something about angel blood, but the difference between angels and demons in SMT is semantics.
If Flynn demon gene activated he would become comedically op because the boost you get is completely cracked:
-Issachar went from a normal dude to fighting four prentice Samurai and their demons at once
-In the Demonic Gene manga where the concept originated Walter went from a complete noob who still uses Centaur to defeating Yaso Magushi (who is a level 46 boss by the way) easily.
-Actual fodder like Hugo and Hope were able to fight Anarchy Nanashi after theirs activated
And…Flynn is way stronger than anyone we’ve ever seen unlock the Demon Gene.
At this point I’ve come around and actually think the only mainline protagonist stronger than Flynn is Nahobino. Also obviously the Last Bible protagonist but that isn’t mainline. Flynn only loses to Nanashi because he literally can’t kill him permanently because he’s immortal duh. How is Flynn supposed to kill someone who can’t die? I definitely think he could kill him once or twice, but Nanashi would eventually wear Flynn down because Flynn has no way to perma kill him unless he killed Dagda or something. Though, I don’t think Flynn would know to do that. Post-bonds though Nanashi is kinda fucked against Flynn since he no longer has his immortality. Overall I think Nanashi using his no death cheat to beat Flynn is cheap af, but it works. Otherwise I definitely think Apocalypse portrays Flynn as being stronger than Nanashi and the latter’s immortality acts as the great equalizer.
#shin megami tensei#smt iv#smt4 apocalypse#devil survivor#smt2#smt3 nocturne#smt flynn#nanashi smt#kazuya#king of bel#demifiend#hitoshura#naoki kashima#aleph#Hawk#my crappy edit#meme
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey i get where ur coming from and i get i didnt explain well in my tags bc i didn't wanna derail bc ngl i tend to ramble and get off topic but i saw one of the the hc creator reply and i get how u can be offended from my tags which i am genuinely sorry about! i didn't realize it could come off as me being "oh blue bad so trans blue bad!!!" which was NOT my intent. as a feminine nonbinary person w/ a lot of trans friends i dont want ppll to think im some cis idiot who looks down on gnc trans ppl or dont like trans hcs for characters i think r gender conforming honestly i see the four swords links as all trans men tho she/her blue i genuinely do think is a good hc i only put it yhere bc i LITTERLY haven't seen she/her red which i did get told was also popular so from what i personally saw i was iffy if the hc was rooted in anything deeper bc i tend to be sceptical of fandoms bc of stuff im going to explain if u here me out, i know my cynicism was seen as me insulting a hc so i get why u were aggressive but pls dont assume my intentions based off one post.
now this is going to be an eassy fair warning bc that is just how i talk. which is why my tags I wanted to be short bc i struggle to get my point across w/out being verbose but like...clearly i shoulda just kept my og tags and not cut it down but oh well whats done is done ig pls read it through bc u were rlly agressive in ur reply which is fine but at least hear me out bf u label me like that ok?
to explain rlly what i ment i have to be clear that i am in the cookie run fandom and that fandom has a LOT of queer characters many r canon nonbinary and there r a lot of widespread trans hcs. in that fandom, in the past, i specifically was very uneducated on trans stereotypes so when a very masculine cookie who for years the fandom saw as a man but had no canon prounons was announced to be a woman the fandom for a hot minute(including me) saw them as a trans woman. some trans ppl in the fandom got uncomfortable w/ that including some of my friends and one of my friend's friend explained the possibile transphobia of the hc and in a fandom never adopting widespread trans hcs for characters unless the fandom assumed they were the opposite gender ie a he/him cookie in makeup and a dress was always hced to use she/her or be a trans man. and at that time i genuinely was shocked that ppl were making these hcs w/ those intentions bc i never considered that bf. and in general? cookie run fandom just has so many issues man ppl never respect the nonbinary characters genders or any lesbain codded characters so ive learned to look at hcs that i see get adopted w/ a cynical eye bc im like "is this hc popular bc ppl see trans ppl that way or bc they like the character?" i am heavily fandom critical bc ive been burned before so id rather point out a possible issue in a hc than ignore it bc im giving the op the benefit of the doubt, i dont trust ppl like that anymore bc i have to be more critical of the things i see nowadays
now loz fandom while not perfect, is leagues better than my past fandoms and im glad for that. thats why i put that in the tags not the main post bc i was genuinely curious if it was from a fic bc i did read a few fics w/ she/her blue so i was actually looking forward to reading a new one lol or if it was a post seeing how it blew up. my intention was never to say "oh only she/her blue is popular" or something it was to say "oh ive seen she/her blue around alot wheres that from?" i mentioned vio/shadow they/them bc ive also seen that a lot but didn't mention she/her red bc i havent seen that like ever tho i was told its a thing so yeah ig the point of my og post more so was i havent seen a lot of the four swords fandom which is true bc i dont check fandom tags a lot and read fics once in a blue moon nowadays
blue in itself was never the issue btw, i think i need to point that out that i never even had an issue. i just have seen a lot of ppl make blue out to be the angry violent one whos hard headed and never listens before swinging. these r sterotypicaly masciunle behaviors and while blue in canon is stubborn and brash hes not as bad as some fics have portrayed him which has in general made me critical of how i see him in fandom and one of the reasons i rlly do not interact w/ four swords fandom in general bc blue honestly has so much potential as the groups protector and ppl just...over look it.
which is WHY i pointed out it was stereotypical to make the most agressive one in the group trans bc it IS a sterotype even if u urself don't personaly mean it that way or lean into that trope that DOESN'T mean me as an outsider can not see a trope ove seen and be wary of it. that is not an attack on those w/ the hc that is me as a feminine nonbinary person w/ transfem friends that likes a character and is worried ppl might be steering into a direction ive seen bf. that is something while u dont have to acknowledge u gotta be a lil aware of even if u urself have never written blue to be the "agressive one." it is a trope ive seen a lot and this is to be clear not bc im saying u or others r writting blue like that, its bc i am wary in general. i can admit i didnt word that well at all i do like the hc and respect the ppl who use it! i was relieved it HASN'T been used that way which is why i said i gave a thumbs up bc it was honestly refreshing to see. let me be transparent and say i havent once seen a she/her blue i disagreed w/ or i felt was leaning into bad blue tropes every she/her blue ive seen has been written well and respectfully which makes sense if queer/trans writters are making her
has anyone so far that ive seen done such stereotyping? no, from what ive seen the fandom has done an excellent job writting her tbh bc the best blue portrayals have been in a few fics ive seen w/ she/her blue, i think one was called color theory? it was rlly relatable, ive always liked blue as a character and never rlly liked how some fans portrayed her bc imo it was one dimensional writing. which is why i was like hm where did this come from! its an interesting hc and dodges more toxic blue tropes, but that doesn't mean i cant be wary still it just means i in general approve of the hc and have my wariness on the back burner.
the implications that i dont like ppl making transfem hcs of their favs kinda points to me that u have never been on my acc bf or clicked on my pinned post. which is fair, if u felt attacked and just replied out of hurt then thats fine but pls be aware of who u r talking to when u wanna demean a person bc u assume they cant think critically about media and assume they dislike transfem hcs in general bc like man i have multiple transfem links and nb links in my hc pinned post i literally am not the one to tell about let ppl hc what they want my hcs r wild dude i know
i didn't know where the hc came from which is why i made the post i didnt know if it was made by someone unconsciously linking those behaviors in blue to that hc and not being aware of that or from someone trans in themself which is what i assumed regardless but i am a cynic w/ fandom bc i have literally had to have been told by trans woman friends in the past i wasn't seeing their issues and to be fair back then i wasnt. me as a person i can admit im rlly obtuse sometimes and my words never come off like i mean them too im sorry, i didnt put that there to offend anyone. i put it there bc i was scared the hc could have been something unintentionally bad and while i didnt think it was, i have in the past given ppl the benefit of the doubt w/ queer hcs widespread only to learn the orgin was something rooted in misogyny/homophobia/transphpbia. so i added those tags as a reassurence to myself if someone replied w/ something like "oh the op sucked so we just reclaimed it"(which, has happened bf in fandoms im in).
im happy the hc came from a place of love like i assumed! i do genuinely like that and im glad to know some ppl i follow started it. im glad honesty im the only one who was a lil wary seeing it which imo means the creators r trusted ppl in the fandom so i didnt have to worry, pls be aware of all i said above tho and dont assume my intentions were sinister or i dont like the hc just bc of my fandom wariness its kinda unfair to me as a person u got agressive and projected what i assume r things uve also seen in the fandom onto me(ie "blue is the bad agressive one!!!") bc u think i was trying to attack a hc.
idk if thats why u replied that way or if it was something eles honesty im not upset u were mad or anything i get wanting to defend a trans hc from perceived backlash(lord knows ive sent my fair share of eassys defending my favs lmao). but also pls be aware not everything u see in a 2 sentence tag is how u first read it and u could have just pointed out where i offended u w/out being agressive bc ur upset i didnt give u the benefit of the doubt when u in turn also didnt give it to me.
i get me writing out a multiparagraph eassy is gonna seem like a lot for a reply but as i said in the beginning i am a verbose person and the way i get my thoughts in order is to write them out. since u personally misinterpreted what i meant bc of my admittedly lacking context tags, pls read this all the way through to actually get what i tried to say in my tags.
all in all...this was a misunderstanding bc i didnt think i needed to add context in my tags bc i thought ppl would have understood why i was wary which! was wrong to assume on my part!!! i get why it rubbed u the wrong way!!!! so let me just say this...
tldr: i literally as a nonbinary person w/ trans friends do not give even the most wholesome seeming trans hcs the benifit of the doubt if i clock they mightve fallen intona sterotype unless i know the origin which is partially why i asked and partially i wanted to see if there was a good fic i coulda got my hands on. its great the hc is a Thing tm rland made by queer ppl who like making their favs transfem! im queer and like making my favs trans as well! there is no beef only me pointing out a possible thing i was uncomfortable about bc i lacked the origin of the hc so pls dont take it as a personal attack it is literally just me not trusting fandoms to treat trans characters right even if the fandom is a majority queer 👍
where did the blue she/her thing come from in four swords fandom? i rlly wanna know bc i never see the other three??? called she/her??? Sometimes shadow or vio r given they/them but ive constantly seen she/her blue in some spaces so??
#literally read the whole thing bc im not even gonna touch ur tags#bc u saying it was transphobic of me to point out something that might be transphpibc...ok#its not a transphobic hc im just saying ur kinda offf the mark there#in hell once again when will i be free of discourse lord help me#trix posts#not even tagging this#do i have a discourse tag#i need one#discourse
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
a nurses job
— Bakugou breaks his arms and as a nurse, you have the responsibility to make sure that he is comfortable, even when he needs to use the bathroom.
⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆
pairing: pro hero!bakugou katsuki x nurse fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, prohero!bakugou, golden showers/water sports/piss kink, degradation (giving), dirty talk, lusting/pining, handjobs
word count: 5,050
a/n: so, I was going to make this a piss in ur mouth and pussy type of fic, but I kept seeing all those beautiful bakugou piss arts where he’s with a nurse.... so this is inspired and brought upon by all the water sports bakugou x nurse art ive seen for three months.
kinktober day 21 main kink: piss | kinktober masterlist
⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆
You’re not quite sure what persuaded you into wanting to become a nurse as a child.
Maybe it was because your quirk (when you hum at an A flat, everyone within 5 meters experiences accelerated healing properties) was useless for Pro Hero work, so you realized early on that being a Pro Hero was a distant dream. Maybe it was because medical staff were still hailed as everyday heroes despite being in a world with people who could perform extraordinary achievements. It started as a small obsession to prove to the soon to be jobless, dream broken, and graduated failures of the hero course high schools that you had done more than them. That you, unlike them, were recognized as a hero.
You were decent with math and science, so you strove for medical school. But with the horrendous costs of schooling, your then living situation, and your dislike of unneeded and unwanted competitive stress, you deterred toward the nursing pathway. It was a pathway where you really found yourself, or at least, you thought so.
Empathy, emotion, and the need to see people come out of a hospital better than when they entered was something that grew on you quickly and obviously. Your earliest clinical rounds often left you with swollen, tired feet from walking around for restless hours, but with a smile on your face that was irreplicable. With every semester in school, you got better, connected better with your patients. Your feet still ache after long shifts, and sometimes your smile is hollow and broken, and if you look closely, you could see dried tears and puffy eyelids, but you wouldn’t ever regret this decision to become a nurse.
At twenty-five, newly graduated from nursing school, already working full time at the best hospital in Japan, while studying for your degree to eventually become a nurse practitioner. You loved your job quite a lot. They had placed you immediately within their Post-OP, ICU, and recovery wings, and even though you were somewhat new, you were celebrating a year of working in a few weeks, you already had some… more than familiar faces.
“Well, Ground Zero-san, I guess you owe me a drink because unless my eyes are deceiving me, it looks like both your arms are broken, no?” you hum, your grin bright and wide, not even attempting to hide it’s glee as your high profile patient sat seething on the hospital bed. “It’s been, what? Two weeks since you last showed up here? You getting old?”
“Oh, would you shut the fuck up, you shitty ass nurse?!” Bakugou snarled, his arms obviously trying to tense and move against the large casts that envelope him. “The fuck would you expect to happen when facing off with a quirk that’s specifically meant to break people’s arms?!”
“Deku didn’t break any arms,” you point out with a soft laugh, eyes still scanning and reading through his charts to check his medical needs and medicine prescribed by the attending and when he should be taking them. “A bit weird that only half of the Wonder Duo was indescribably injured, no?”
A loud snarl ripped from Bakugou’s throat, and you stifled your own laughter as you raised your eyesight to look him straight in his raging eyes.
“I took that damn nerds hits because he’s broken his arms so many fucking times he’ll be forced to amputate them if he breaks them again!” Bakugou’s eyes were near white in his anger, but the intensity of his emotions was heavily diminished by the fact that his arms were strapped to his chest in thick, round bandages.
“You can admit you care for him,” you chide, ignoring his ‘like hell I do!’ Placing the chart down and walking to his IV drip, you checked to see if anything he was hooked to required any changes or whatnot. “Besides, this is not the first time I’ve seen you in here! It was quite surprising to see Ground Zero on bedrest on my first ever shift here.”
That much was true.
You had been working at Tokyo Hospital for nearly nine months now. Within the nine months, you saw a lot of heroes; that much was true. Your quirk was versatile as a nurse, and you were bright, young, very good at your job, and definitely a beautiful individual. So, when you were assigned to be working most of your days healing heroes because they were the backbone of the country, it didn’t quite catch you by surprise. It was a common assignment you had as a nursing student too.
You just didn’t expect the head nurse of the floor to assign one of your five rooms to be holding none other than Ground Zero, a.k.a Bakugou Katsuki.
Of course, you weren’t an idiot. You had known about the explosion hero since high school! You had sat in front of your TV in high school, attempting to do your homework while watching the rather intensive first-year battles. He had done well in every stage, placing within the top three each time and even winning the game! You had cringed at the awards ceremony but had been horrified at the news of his kidnapping.
But after that, with the rising tensions of the villain world upon the dying world left behind by All Might, you had forgotten him for a moment. As time went on, and finally, a new support system was brought forth, Ground Zero, much like his quirk entailed, exploded onto the scene alongside Deku and a few other young heroes.
So, sure, you expected to maybe one day run into the ash-blond hero, but you didn’t expect it to happen on day one.
All things considered, the two of you got along rather well.
His... strong personality did make you wary of him at first, taking his near verbal barrage until you, very flusteredly he will argue, told him to ‘shut up, you butthole!’
You were horrified at your lack of professionalism, and Bakugou had gone silent as he stared at you in silence.
“Did you just call me a butthole?” he echoed, his face full of emotions you could not read. You felt on the verge of panicking, unsure if he was going to potentially tell on you! The sounds of a barking laughter rang in your ear, and you looked up to see his grinning, much more relaxed form. “Are you some shitty preschooler?!”
Thus began a working relationship of sorts between you and Bakugou.
He was an asshole, and you tried your best to not let him talk you off a cliff. It didn’t take very long for you to find out what made him tick surprisingly enough, and you used that to your advantage. The best way to tease him right now was by reminding him that he had been hospitalized more times than Deku, who apparently had held the record for the number of hospitalizations between him and his friends.
“Are you going to mention that shit first meeting every time we talk?!” Bakugou barked, his eyes narrowed as he turned his head away from you.
“After you admit you care deeply for all your friends!” you chirp back, stepping away from his IV drip, satisfied by what you saw. “Well, you look good for now. I’ll be checking up on you every ten to fifteen minutes since you can’t press the button until we can get those casts off! Did ya need anything before I go check on my other patients?”
“Open the damn window; it’s stuffy in here,” Bakugou grumbled, his face finally facing you again.
“Of course,” you smile cheekily, your eyes squinting with your broad grin. “It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy!”
Standing at the side of the bed, you stretched over Bakugou to grab the edge of the window and slide it open. Through your stance, you were entirely aware of how this looked, how this felt. Your breasts centimeters from Bakugou’s face, your eyes never once breaking from the window to feign your innocence as you finally pull away. Even with scrubs on, you could feel his hot, sharp breathes expelling through your clothes, his ears tinging just the smallest bit red as you smile.
“Anything else?” you asked sweetly, failing to hide your impish grin.
“Put the water cup close by,” he grunted, eyes staring at the liter of water at his side table. Well, he wouldn’t be able to use his arms until just before he was set to be discharged, so moving the water closer was a good idea.
Nodding, you grabbed a nearby cup, filling it three-quarters of a way full before placing it onto the feeding table and dragging it near his mouth, a bendy straw already secured into the cup. You watched as he shot forward, putting the plastic straw into his mouth and beginning to drink the cold water. His eyes were back on yours, deceivingly cold had you already not been an expert on his personality.
With one final soft chuckle, you waved at Bakugou as you headed out, a cheerful smile on your face as he continued to drink his water.
“See ya in a few!”
Well, you guess there was one more important detail about your relationship with Bakugou Katsuki. For the past five months, you have been doing everything in your power to seduce him — to get him to admit that he wanted you too.
You knew the ethics and the morals behind falling for a patient of yours, much less a high profile patient at that. You knew that if your little crush was ever found out, you would most definitely be moved from his room. You were also damningly aware that you should have brought up your initial feelings for the explosion hero to your admin the moment it arose. But the thought and the way you were always so happy to be around him eventually overruled your logic. Five months ago, you had stayed at the hospital until nearly three am, talking with a severely concussed Bakugou. You were stationed for an overnight round with the task of making sure that he didn’t fall asleep. And for the first time in your time knowing Bakugou, the two of you somehow clicked into place, and when he was discharged the next morning — the nurse who had a quirk to rid of concussions finally arriving — he had thanked you.
It was so benign, so incredibly simple, yet the way the golden sunshine illuminated his blond hair and made his red eyes shine like a ruby, you found your own tired body feeling heated and warm. He wasn’t such a lousy conversationalist, and you had already enjoyed all your interactions together, yet it still caught you off guard to feel your heart pounding in your throat as he pulled on his jacket and left.
So after coming to terms with your sudden infatuation for the stubborn hero, you began to express your desires and feelings for him without having to say it. For all that he was worth and all that he expressed himself to be extremely observant, Bakugou Katsuki still had no idea that you liked him.
Unfortunately, your scrub nurse uniform wasn’t precisely seductive. The light blue of the breathable, sterile uniform was about as unsexy as uniforms got. But that never stopped you from leaning in too close when doing what Bakugou demanded of you. It didn’t prevent you from accidentally dropping papers in front of him and bending over to show off the curves of your ass.
There had never been a time such as this one where you hated that the old, ‘sexy’ nurse outfits were no longer up to standard and banned from use. How you would have loved to be wearing gartered held stockings just to accidentally flash to Bakugou. But, you suppose that it’s alright. Even though your feelings and ambitions to get the Pro Hero to like you as much as you did him, you never tried to push it.
For now, you were just an asshole tease.
You carried out the rest of your rounds in peace, your pager sitting comfortably in your pocket, unused, unneeded for now. The rest of your four patients were doing well for now.
One was asleep, most likely due to the medicine coursing through his veins, but his vitals remained unchanged.
Another was in the process of getting ready to be discharged, her family there to help her in leaving.
The third was eating his dinner, eyes concentrated on a poker game on the TV as he asked you to help fluff his pillow.
The last was busy with a physical therapist, her forehead slick with sweat as she attempted to sit up from her chair.
All in all, they were all doing fine, and you were back to the beginning, back to Bakugou’s room.
You entered his closed room door to be greeted by an empty bed. Your eyes widened immediately, the initial wave of pure horror flashing through you that by some freak accident, some murderous villain had kidnapped the injured hero straight from the hospital bed.
“Ground Zero-san?!” you called out, a pitched voice of concern frilling your voice as you stumbled through the room. Your eyes were frantically searching the room, fingers feeling the lingering warmth of his body on the bed and your eyes noticing the empty water cup on his table still. The sheets of his bed haphazardly thrown off as if in a struggle.
Your fingers wound around the panic button, your ears straining to hear any sort of sign of Bakugou still being here.
A gritted teeth snarl was muffled from the attached bathroom, and you froze, unable to move as you felt the untouched button in your hands turn as light as a feather. You approached the bathroom door with soft footsteps, the smile on your face, unable to be stopped as you pulled the door open.
The sight you happened upon was something that made your lips curl into a wider smirk as the hospital clothed-clad hero absolutely struggled with his lack of functioning hands and arms to pull down his pants. Something he couldn’t do himself because the socks and slippers on his feet kept him from even attempting to tug his pants off with his toes.
In his struggle, undoubtedly miserable attempt to get his pants and underwear off his waist, Bakugou seemed ignorant to your arrival. His back still towards you, his head tilted down in his struggle as he twisted and pulled at practically nothing.
And as you watched him struggle, you couldn’t help but let your eyes drink in his form that stood tall before you. Most occurrences where you found yourself face to face with Bakugou, he was always tucked in a bed (except that time you realized your feeling for him), whether it was because he needed to be or because he was forced to be. So seeing him in his full height, seeing how despite your size, you were still only at his shoulder, made your eyelashes flutter.
He was tall, so deliciously tall, you wanted to climb onto a chair to see if he would be taller even with that added height. And oh how the flimsy material of his hospital outfit was stretched then against the taut muscles of his back. They flexed and shifted with his aggravation, and the only thought on your mind was to rake your fingers against the tempting muscle and skin.
“Shitty. fucking. villain!” he hissed angrily, sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he still struggled to do what nature called him for.
But you couldn’t help it; the flexing muscles of his back, the lower tenor of his voice, and the way he seemed ridiculously larger than life at the moment tipped your restraint over. Your ability to hold back crashing through you like a tsunami wave, drowning you until you found your hand tethered to the tight spot at the center of his spine, your hushed words drifting to his ear like sweet, warm honey.
“You need any help here, Ground Zero-san?” you asked, your voice just loud enough to have your hot breath fanning against his sweaty exposed neck. You could feel him twitch in your hold, his body stiffening as he whipped his head around to look at you, red eyes wild, wide, and dark.
“Don’t ya know how to fucking knock?!” he snapped, his body flushed at being caught in the bathroom, unable to shed his clothes. He doesn’t move from your touch, and that small detail makes you warm, knowing that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by your touch.
“You were missing from your bed, and I called your name,” you smile despite his angry glare. “I know you are susceptible to hear loss, but I thought you were still in the clear.”
“I ain’t fucking deaf,” Bakugou growled, his face twisted with a frown. “And that still doesn’t explain why the hell you’re here!”
“Oh, were you not just completely struggling earlier?” you feign shock, the grin on your face unstoppable at the embarrassed scowl that sets on his face. You step even closer to him so that your torso is perpendicular to his side. Your hand still gently touching his muscled back, and your free hand gently pressing to his own abdomen, the feeling of his flexed muscles, making you dizzy as you peer down at the white toilet. “Is there a villain in the toilet? I didn’t think that was possible!”
“Of fucking course not, there’s not a shitty villain in the toilet.” Bakugou flushed, his body entirely trapped by you, but he made no play to escape.
“Oh, so did you need help?”
Bakugou stares at you, his mind whirling a kilometer a second as he contemplates his next course of action. The both of you know he needs help, and still, the both of you are aware that his ability to ask of that from you is slim to none given he couldn’t even wait for you to return to his room.
“Tch,” he clicks his tongue angrily, annoyed, completely fed up. His eyes rolling to the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge you as his head nods once. “Help me, shitass nurse.”
“Of course!” you chirp, your eyes finding his hooded ones.
You give him one last warm, sweet smile before the hand on his torso lightly drags down his stomach, soft in its unashamed way of feeling him up. Your head tilted as your fingers hooked into the tight waistband of his pants and pulled it down, the heat of your palm accidentally dragging itself over the imprint of his cock behind his boxers.
The slight, flustered choking noise at the back of his throat didn’t go ignored by you, but rather but aside for later. Your eyes flashing up to see his red eyes wide, his cheeks so lightly dusted with pink as you managed to pull down his boxers too.
“There!” you exclaim, your eyes closing in your grin before you turn your attention back down to his exposed dick.
Immediately, you had to hold back a noise of pure want and lust at the sight of him. He was long, undoubtedly eight inches, definitely more. Although you couldn’t tell how thick, you knew his dick would fill your palm without a struggle. The trimmed, dark blond pubes and the protruding veins are what did it for you, your tongue poking out for a millisecond to wet your lips as you stared at his dark pink head.
“Stop staring at it!” Bakugou hissed, clearly embarrassed if the slight voice crack said anything about it.
You looked back up at him, fake confusion swimming in your eyes as you tilted your head. “It’s only a penis. I see millions of these all the time.”
“Yeah, but it’s fucking weird!”
A soft laugh escaped your lips, your eyes rolling softly as you sighed in retreat, “Fine, fine, let's pee big boy and get you in bed.”
With your dominant hand, you grabbed his dick with a soft grip, pleasure simmering through you at the confirmation of the thick dick in your palm. But it seemed you weren’t the only one who thought that for the moment you tried to steer his dick toward the toilet to assist in aim, Bakugou hissed loudly. His flesh twitching to life in your warm, soft hand as it began to grow upward.
You didn’t say anything; your jaw remained as tight and closed as your vocal box despite the egging need to tease him and celebrate his apparent approval of your touch. So, eventually, in a voice that defied the nervous energy coursing through your veins, you asked: “Didn’t you need to pee?”
Bakugou let out a throaty, guttural groan, his anger hissing between his teeth as his dick twitched again in your hold, growing longer and harder still.
“I can’t take a damn piss with a hard-on, you idiot!” he roared despite the strawberry red blush on his cheeks. You admired the way he was still fighting for control of an upper hand here despite — clearly — not having any.
“Oh, haha! Silly me!” you laugh, your hand shifting against his length, your warm palm getting closer to the base of his cock.
“W-What are you doing?!” Bakugou spluttered, your soft butterfly touches sending him through a loop he clearly wasn’t expecting. “You could just wait for it to die!”
“It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy,” you repeat your words, your hold on his dick growing firmer and harder just as his cock continued to do. “You clearly need to pee, and there’s no telling when your cock will go down.”
“I’LL MAKE IT GO DOWN!” Bakugou yells, but the usual sharpness to his tone has deflated, diminished to nothing but whining embarrassed yell. You look up at his clenched jaw and how a pretty pink glows on his cheeks, and you’re mesmerized.
Looking back down at his growing cock that warms your hand immensely, you hum, slightly twisting your hand around his length. Bakugou shudders, a whine hidden in his throat as you open your own mouth.
“Do you want me to stop?” you question, your eyes fluttering up to look at his clouded red ones. “Do you not need or want me?”
That was a double-headed question if Bakugou ever heard one. He looked at your glossy lips, the way they were pouted, so ready to be kissed, to be claimed, and that delirious look of want and need in your eyes. And he knows better; he knows that this is not the place, not the time to act on emotions like this. The need to pee sits heavily on his lower belly, just like the need to cum makes him twitch and pace uncomfortably. God fucking damn his broken to smithereens arms.
But you already know this, of course, you do. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how anal he can be about the littlest thing. So with no answer, you weaken your grip, making him think that you’re ready to leave, and he falls right into the trap.
“Make it fucking q-quick,” his voice cracks, the embarrassment nearly tangible as you nod your head firmly, your fist tightening around his cock.
Your warm fingers pressed onto his length, beginning at a slow leisurely pace, your eyes glued onto his face, detailing how he reacts to every small flick of your wrist, every little difference of grip in his hands. Your strokes began to grow larger, your fingertips tracing the bulging veins on his cock, your eyes hypnotized by the way his face pinches in his pleasure, the blush on his cheeks, the way the hot pants expelling from his mouth curl warmly in your lower belly.
“Y-You do this with all your shitty patients?” Bakugou growls, but it sounds weak, too blurred and slurred with his increasing pleasure.
Your fingernails drag against the underneath of his cock, tracing the incredibly sensitive skin until he’s slowly thrusting his hips into your fist. “Only the hot ones,” you tease, your thumb pressing against the tip of his beading tip, the warm pre-cum slick and spreading quickly against his flushed tip.
“You’re fucking disgusting,” Bakugou continues, his head tipping backward, exposing the slenderness of his neck that begs for your teeth to sink into. “Just needed to take a fucking piss.”
“Nervous, you’ll pee all over me, and I won’t want to suck your dick?” you ask, your fingers brushing near his scrotum, eyes blazing dangerously at the sight of his gasping, jaw-dropping face. His hips rut forward, leaking cock dripping with his pre-cum, and you giggle softly, fisting him faster, spreading the pre-cum against his heated sex.
Your fingers run against his throbbing length, your palm tight and hot against his cock, the veins you drag across searing against your flesh, ingraining itself onto your skin and memory forever. Despite it all, the obvious near tangible horror Bakugou has on the thought of pissing on you, he continues to fuck into your fist.
“Damn bitch like you would probably l-like it if I pissed on you,” Bakugou pants, his casted arms twitching at his chest. His head tilted away from you, but his eyes burning into you, the red eyes hot as fire against your skin. “You want me to piss on you? Make you my bitch.”
The words burn against your skin, your teeth biting onto your lower lip as you meet his gaze. You’ve never considered it before, never thought you’d be into it. As a nurse, you’ve been around piss, shit, and vomit, and while you had grown unfazed by it, you never considered the prospect of a man pissing on you. But you thought of it, of Bakugou standing above you, free from his casts, hands on his cock as he smirks down at you with golden liquid spraying from his cock, soaking you where you lay.
You shudder, pleasant chills running down your spine as you stare into his eyes yet again.
“And if I do?” you ask, fingers rolling the head of his cock between your forefinger and thumb, relishing in the way that he snarls low in his throat. “What’re you gonna do about that, Ground Zero-san? You gonna piss all over your bitch after you get out of here.”
“You want me to piss on you here?” he asks, his voice snappish, strained, his hips drilling harder into your hand that was quickly speeding up. A battle of power and speed between the both of you as he looms over you, face flushed, pink, and lips demanding to be kissed. “Wouldn’t be surprised if you do.”
“Why’s that?” you breathe, his lips tantalizingly close to yours, a breath away as your hand grips and tightens even more around the base of his cock, causing a pained-pleasured hiss to rip from behind his teeth as he looks at you.
“Don’t act like your shitty ass hasn’t been trying to seduce me every time I show up,” Bakugou gruffs, his hips continuing a drilling rhythm into your fist, his body no longer shy or embarrassed.
“So you noticed but never said anything?” you counter, your fingers shifting over to his swollen, hot balls. You fondle them, tugging at their weight gently, taking in the way his eyes roll to the back of his head and the way his teeth tear into his lip. “Coward.”
“Hah?! Who the fuck—”
You can’t help yourself anymore, your mouth coming to slam against his in a piercing, searing kiss. He moans into the kiss, and you gasp back, tongues clashing together, teeth knocking into each other as awkward, nearing uncomfortable kisses are exchanged. His sweet scent of caramel wafts into your nose, and his grunts and groans are addicting, entirely enthusiastic noises that send your own thighs clenching shut to quiet the heated need in between your thighs.
Your hand increases in its speed, his whines and groans so pretty and piercing into you.
“How fucking gross,” you laugh into his mouth, the slicked heat of his precum lathering your palm until soft noises of your fisting hand begin to fill the sterile bathroom. “You’re a child, wanting to piss on things that you shouldn’t. You came to the bathroom and got a hard-on instead of pissing, Bakugou, aren’t you embarrassed.”
“Y-Y/l/n,” he hissed, his jaw falling slack against your mouth. His hips are drilling into you faster and faster, the throbbing of his cock, the growing, thick scent of his caramel sweat filling the room and your senses. “F-Fuck!”
“Such a dirty, childish pro hero,” you smile your tongue curling into his mouth and dragging against the roof of his mouth as he shudders helplessly against you. “Cum already, Bakugou, cum and piss over yourself like some small brat.”
He shudders, and you find your mouth leaving his own as you stare down, spurting white ropes of cum pour from his tip, completely covering the toilet seat with his sticky white cum. And you watch as soon as his body collapses onto you, entirely spent from the orgasm, yellow piss streaming from his tip.
The toilet fills with his cum and piss, and you grin once his balls and bladder are completely drained. His cock limp and weak in your hand as you hum, your quirk activating and causing the exhausted Pro Hero to recompose himself so that he wasn’t entirely weak against you.
“Such a good patient,” you coo, pulling up Bakugou’s boxers and hospital pants without a second's thought. Patting his butt gently, you watched as his still exhausted red eyes stared at you. You walked over to the sink, washing your hands so that you could continue to finish the rest of your shift.
“Don’t think this is over, shitty nurse.”
You look at him over your shoulder, your fingers curling under the warm water as you grin.
“I expect to be fucked and pissed on next time,” you counter, your smirk devastating and sending a fire right back to Bakugou’s groin. “No freebies anymore.”
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
My weekend DID NOT GO TO PLAN.
The plan you ask? Friday, Saturday and Sunday- go to RI Comic Con.
Monday (today) - help my mom move
What did I do instead?
Friday - vomit everything I have ever eaten and then some more. Then from Midnight - 4 just kind of not stop.
Saturday 430am - go to the ER. Takes forever to be seen. Thank goodness for those blue/purple plastic tubes. They act like I’m dry heaving for dramatic effect. Pretty sure since I said the middle of my stomach hurt they thought I wanted drugs
I think around 730 they do a CT scan.
3.5 hours, many dry heaves and an embarrassing need for dry pants later - I see thr doctor and my nurse again. Literally haven’t seen the doctor since he looked at me 630am. Haven’t seen the nurse since he put in an iv, gave me zofran and left. (A different help with the embarrassing incident).
I have large abscess in my stomach and a perforation. They can’t do the surgery there (small hospital. Can handle like appendectomies ect. Not this) so I’m getting transferred to a large hospital in RI vis ambulance.
By 1pm I’m in RI getting prepped for Surgery. I had to get a CATHETER. And it was Terrible.
Now the timeline going forward is from my mom:
Surgery started around 2ish. Ended around 630.
I had a 3cm perforation that the surgeon said looked like it formed, accessed and oh yeah, nearly f***ing killed me in 24-48 hours.
Literally. If I had be slower going up I could have died.
My mom went home, I went to post op recovery for a while where I was in terrible pain and spiked a fever. (One is normal, pain was not cool)
Luckily my current hospital actually cares.
I was on a patient controlled pump - so it was great when I was awake. But if I fell asleep I stopped pushing it. They changed that fast to a constant low does with option to boost as needed.
Saturday night: I’m moved to a Step Down Unit. Which is like not quite in the ICU not quite general ward.
Sunday: a blur, still had the catheter. My mom visited. Pain was under control so I sat in a chair for almost 2 hours per the request of the nice PT lady.
Getting up was awful. Getting back in bed awful. Chair was fine. 
Sunday night: had a dilaudid induced nightmare so bad my nurse was coming to check on me because my heart rate shot up out of nowhere. She reassured me I was awake, safe, and where I was and then held my hand and patted my head until I could calm down.
Monday morning: woke up at to a gaggle of med students around my bed. They took off my surgical binder to see my 48 stables and then squished my boobs so bad putting it back on I had to call my nurse and say “Meghan they smooshed my boobs help”
Rest of Monday: catheter out. It still hurts there because of course it was (the nurse was great. I’m not blaming her)
But I can pee!
And I have! Twice! (No food or liquids by mouth til Thursday so IV only)
Sat in the chair for 4 hours!
Had a mild panic attack (dropped my call bell and every fluid/antibiotic hit 30 min warning. I can’t yell cause of the NG tube so I just started sobbing.
Day nurse found me and saved me/hugged me/distracted me with cough drops and Netflix show.
Then! I walked from chair to door to bed.
That brings us current. I wanted to sleep but another surgeon walked in, woke me up looked at my staples, told me looks good GET SOME REST.
I’m here for like 2 weeks. Someone needs to let sleep!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF music from anime ive never seen and ALSO my insatiable desire for 320kbps mp3s i am now. probably going to write a painfully long post sorry
does anyone know what in the hell is up with this song. where is the full version. where was it released
youtube
i dont know much about the show its from but i probably heard it a few years ago in one of those “top anime ops and eds of the season!!!!!!!” song mix videos ‘cause i watch A Lot of those (i told you: i REALLY like anison and also its nearly impossible to get me to sit down and watch anything longer than 2.5 hours... my life is an enigma......) and i have literally been completely unable to find where this full version was released LIKE
from what i can tell a short version was released with the anime soundtrack but this specific full version i haven’t been able to find ANYTHING like OKAY this video is the oldest i’ve found with it and the album art used almost seems to imply a CD release in some fashion just from the size and graphics BUT it doesnt seem to be on any cds listed on the internet BUT maybe it was a really small or limited release like at a con or something BUT ALSO apparently this song was called temperatura? according to some wiki so maybe that’s another reason i can’t find it BUT ALSO
okay listen around exactly the 1:20 mark THERE IS this odd distortion like a hint of a key change or octave change (i dont know music technical terms sorry) SO maybe this is a fanmade spliced version of other shorter versions?? BUT it almost sounds a little too well done to be fanmade like the distortion feels intentional and i think it adds a lot to the song BUT IS IT like what if its fanmade but what if its not but what if it IS grabs you by the shoulders. are you listening to me. what if its fanmade. who made it. where did it come from. does a cd quality version even exist. where am i
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love and Medicine ~ 8
MASTERLIST
< previous chapter
Word Count: 4,175ish
Summary: Your roommates are annoyed and Gamora is determined to make you jump through hoops.
Notes: This is based off of Grey’s Anatomy 1x07. I do not own Marvel or Grey’s Anatomy.
When your alarm went off, you were naked in your bed. With a naked Steve beside you. A small groan passing between his lips, Steve reached around you to turn off the alarm clock and then cuddled into you.
“Hmmm,” you hummed, enjoying his arms around you way too much. “You have to get up now.”
“What?” Steve mumbled, half asleep. “What time is it?”
You smirked, rolling on top of him. “It’s 5:20, and I have pre-rounds. And you,” you booped his nose, “have to leave before they see you.”
You gave him a small kiss before rolling off of him.
“Oh, come on, now,” Steve grumbled. “Why don’t you just let them see?” He quickly rolled on top of you, pinning you down.
“No!”
“Please!”
“No! No!”
He began placing kisses all over you. Saying, ‘please’, between eat kiss.
“Steve!” You squealed. “St-stoppp!
~~~
“You two get any sleep?” Scott asked, walking into the kitchen where Val and Clint were eating.
“Oh, she could oil the bedsprings as a courtesy or at least buy a padded headboard,” Val complained.
“So, uh, who’s the guy?” Clint asked.
“You think it was just one guy doing all that work?”
“Yeah, do you mind if I don’t think about that?”
“Oh, you jealous, Barton?” Scott teased.
“I’m not jealous.”
“Well, I am,” Val responded. “But at least I know she’ll be having a long day at work.”
They all froze when they heard a floor board near the top of the stairs squeak. The three of them rushed over to the doorway, wanting to see who was coming down the stairs. Steve snuck down the stairs and out the door, seen by Val, Clint, and Scott.
“Well, at least we know that brain surgery isn’t his only skill,” Val commented, going to get more coffee.
“They—they can’t be…” Clint stared at the front door in shock. “He’s… he’s our boss.”
“Yep,” Scott replied, glancing at his watch. “We’re late. You know, she has been scrubbing in a lot lately on his surgeries.”
“No, Y/N wouldn’t sleep with him just to… no.”
“Well, if she’s not ashamed of it, why is she keeping it a secret?” Val wondered.
“Maybe she didn’t. Maybe it just happened. You know, spontaneously, last night.”
“Good morning,” you greeted, entering the kitchen.
“Morning,” Val and Scott responded.
“So…” Val started, “it sounded like you were having some pretty radical sex last night, all night long. Who was the guy?”
“No one you know,” you lied with a shrug.
Clint, Scott, and Val all gave each other a look.
“We’re late,” Scott said. “Let’s go.”
~~~
“I’m gonna beed a major rush to make it through this day,” Clint said in the locker room. “I need a kick-ass surgery.”
“Ooh, you a bad boy last night, Clint?” Peter taunted.
“No,” Val answered for him. “That would be Y/N.”
“You a bad boy, Y/N?”
“Do tell,” Natasha urged.
“Nothing to tell,” you shrugged.
“That says it all, huh?”
Val slammed her locker door shut, annoyed at your lies.
“Sorry, I have a sex life,” you apologized.
“Don’t apologize,” Peter said. “Embrace it. Share it. Count me in.”
“Yeah, next time, just let me know if I need to go to a hotel so I can get some sleep,” Val said.
“Am I missing something?” You asked.
“You were just a little loud,” Scott replied.
Everyone left except you and Natasha.
“Do they know it’s Captain McDreamy keeping them up all night?” Natasha asked.
“I hope not,” you answered. “I already have Gamora riding me, I don’t need my roommates thinking I’m getting special treatment.”
~~~
You yawned as you and Natasha met up with the other interns and Dr. Gamora. You just hoped that you didn’t look as tired as you felt.
“Barton, Romanoff, Lang, Quill, go on to the clinic,” Gamora ordered. She looked up, catching Clint watch Steve through a window. Steve was putting in eye drops. “Barton, patients are waiting.” Clint scurried off. “You two,” Gamora motioned to you and Val, “come with me. Val, you’re hanging with me today.” Steve walked over. “Good morning, Dr. Rogers.”
“Dr. Gamora,” he replied as you yawned. “Late night, L/N?”
“No,” you responded, “caffeine just hasn’t kicked in yet.”
“If you’re at all religious, you would want to start praying it kicks in soon,” Gamora retorted. “There’s a consult in the pit. Girl with a fever and abdominal pain. After that, Lee in 3311 needs his meds. Mr. Jackson’s IV fell out, and he’s a hard stick. Post-ops in 1337, 3342, 3363, and 2381.”
You had nodded along, trying to get your tired brain to understand what she was saying. “3381, 3342, 3363,” you repeated, “and 23… 81?”
Gamora simply glared at you instead of answering what you needed. “Why are you still standing in front of me?”
You quickly hurried down to the pit, not wanting to get on Gamora’s bad side anymore than you already were. You started your consultation with an eighteen year old girl named Jessie Todd. Her mother and father were both accompanying her. Jessie seemed nervous, biting her nails.
“I think she got some bug on her trip to Mexico with her friends,” Mrs. Todd said. “I told her not to go to a third-world country, but does she ever listen?”
“She’s been weak ever since and she’s lost weight,” Mr. Todd worried.
“Barely,” Jessie mumbled.
“And this morning, she passed out in the shower.”
“When was the trip?” You asked.
“A couple weeks ago,” Jessie answered. “I’m really fine. I just have a fever.”
“Okay, well, will you lie back for an exam for me?”
“No, please, I don’t need an exam. Just give me some antibiotics and send me home.”
“Well, maybe it is just a fever, but they called down for a surgeon, so I have to give the ok to let you go. So just let me do the exam.”
“Do the exam,” Mr. Todd urged.
“No. This is crazy. I’m fine.”
“For God's sake, Jessie, I don't want to spend my entire day here,” Mrs. Todd exclaimed.
“You know, actually, Mrs. Todd, this might be easier if we had some privacy,” you told the parents, sensing that Jessie was worried about their reactions to whatever was going on. “So would you two mind leaving the room?”
“That’s fine,” Mr. Todd said, guiding his wife away.
Jessie lied down and you began to push at her stomach.
“Ow,” Jessie complained. “Don’t push so hard.”
“Can you lift your shirt so I can examine your stomach?” You requested. With a sigh, Jessie slowly lifted her shift, revealing pink scars. “Where did you get these? Jessie… you've had surgery recently. These scars are still pink.”
“Don’t tell my parents.”
“You did this in Mexico so your parents wouldn't know? What did you have done?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Jessie—“
“I can’t!”
With a sigh, you walked away, ordering a CT for Jessie before heading to help the other patients that Gamora had for you.
~~~
You at just finished Gamora’s last job for you when she paged. You were quickly to go find her.
“You paged?” You questioned, finding her near a nurses station.
“Where are we?” She asked.
“I did the consult, did the IV, the meds, the Post-ops, everything.”
“How is your pit patient?”
“She’s febrile and has peritoneal signs.”
Both you and Gamora’s attentions go to Natasha, who is walking by looking ill.
“You alright, Romanoff?” Gamora wondered, not caring all that much.
“Fine,” Natasha responded, waving it off as she kept going. “On my way back to the clinic.”
“Anyway, about the pit patient.”
“I think she had some sort of illegal surgery done in Mexico,” you stated.
“Botched abortion?”
“No. She has four laparoscopic scars on her abdomen and won't say what they're from, the parents are clueless.”
“She’s a minor.”
“Seventeen. Freshman in college.”
“You order up for a CT?”
“Yes,” you nodded.
“So while she's there, the nurses couldn't get a Foley on Mr. Garay. He may need a Coude cath if you can't get a normal one in there. Write up post-op notes on all surgical-floor patients that had surgery within the last 24 hours. Be sure to document their EKG's and x-rays. Hunt them down if you can't find them.”
“Right away.”
~~~
You were exhausted by the time Jessie’s CT scans came back. Gamora was really working you to the bone. Of course, it didn’t help that you had spent most of the night up with Steve, having some of the most enjoyable sex you’ve ever had. But that wasn’t the point. Scans in hand, you found Gamora at the nurses station near the lobby.
“Dr. Gamora?” You walked up to her. “Jessie Todd’s abdominal CTs.” You handed her the scans.
She took them, holding them up to study them. “Is this girl fat?”
“Not at all,” you shook your head. “She’s a normal college kid.”
“So,” she handed the scans back to you, “what do you see?”
You took them back and studied them yourself. “Her stomach’s stapled. She’s had a gastric bypass.”
“And a bad one at, at that.”
Jessie Todd was moved into a patient room. So you and Gamora requested to speak to her parents outside of the hallway. You were tasked to explain to them what at happened.
“Gastric bypass is a procedure normally done on obese patients to help them lose weight,” you stated, after telling them what their daughter had done.
“Jessie?” Mr. Todd questioned. “She doesn’t need to lose weight.”
“Are you kidding?” Mrs. Todd responded. “This means the world to her. But it is so typical of this girl to take the easy way out. She's done it with everything since she was a little kid.”
“Mrs, Todd, nothing about this is gonna be easy,” Gamora said. “She's gonna face a lifelong struggle with malnutrition unless she has surgery to reverse the procedure.”
“Do the surgery,” Mrs. Todd ordered before turning to her husband. “I told her to watch the freshman 15. Don't eat junk, exercise. But when she came home Christmas, who had to take her out and buy her a brand new pair of size 6 jeans because she couldn't get in the ones I got her last summer?”
“Chrissy, you know, she tries so hard,” Mr. Todd retorted. “She does. She gets good grades. She gets A’s.”
“She had illegal surgery in Mexico.”
“Unfortunately, there were complications with the bypass,” Gamora stated.
“What do you mean?” Mr. Todd asked.
“She has what looks like an abscess under her diaphragm, and edema, which is a swelling of the bowel wall. I can't say for certain she'll recover completely.”
“Just do whatever you have to do to make her well, ok?”
“Of course, sir.”
Gamora walked away, and you stayed to check up on Jessie. It was then that Mrs. Todd entered Jessie’s room, angrily.
“Before you guys start,” Jessie quickly said, “I know you’re mad.”
“Disbelief, Jessie,” Mrs. Todd exclaimed. “Just disbelief.”
“I’m just concerned,” Mr. Todd added, much more calmly than his wife. “Where did you get the idea to do this?”
“The internet,” Jessie answered quietly.
“But, honey, there is a healthy way to lose weight,” Mrs. Todd said.
“Yeah, I tried that, but...it doesn't work for me like it does for you.”
“Hey,” Mr. Todd said, putting a hand on his daughter’s leg, “you don’t need to lose weight.”
“What are you eating?” Mrs. Todd quickly wondered. “And how much have you been working out? I mean, you know, most of the time, when people hit their target weight, they have to work to stay there.”
“Everyone gains weight in college, Mom,” Jessie responded. “It’s—it’s stressful. There’s... there's not enough time for exercise. I just thought if I wasn't worried about my diet, then… I could focus more on my studies.”
“So you took yet another shortcut? Life doesn’t work that way, Jessie.”
“Chrissy!” Mr. Todd exclaimed.
“What? You want to argue this?”
Huffing at his wife, Mr. Todd turned to you. “She has so much potential, if she would just apply herself—”
“Okay, okay,” you interrupted, having heard enough. “I think we should focus on taking care of your daughter. And, Jessie, your parents agree, the best thing to do is to reverse the bypass.”
“No!” Jessie shouted. “No, it's my body. I do not want surgery again. Please?”
“There were serious complications. And this is about your health.”
“But I’d rather be thin.”
“Well, I’m afraid the choice isn’t up to you,” Mrs. Todd responded.
~~~
With a sigh, you found yourself pushed up against the wall in the stairwell. You were tired and so over Mrs. Todd.
“Long day?” Tony’s voice came closer.
You opened your eyes to see him walking up the stairs. “You could say that,” you responded. “How’s trying to get a date with Dr. Potts going?”
“Not so well,” he sighed, coming to leaning against the wall beside you. “I’ve been bringing her coffee or tea every morning though. I’m trying.”
“You really screwed up,” you giggled.
“You’re telling me. How are you and Steve?”
“We’re… fine.”
“He told me you were up all last night.”
“What?!”
“Okay, he didn’t tell me. But I can see how tired both of you are. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
“It’s that obvious? Tony, are you serious? This could totally ruin—“
“Woah, woah, woah. Calm down there, Y/N. I’m just playing with you. Gosh, you need to take a chill pill or something.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m just… I know we shouldn’t be doing what we are doing.”
“But you enjoy it too much to stop. I get it… I just wish I was getting some too.”
~~~
Natasha was standing in the hall looking nauseous.
“Romanoff!” Clint called, excitedly hurrying up to her. “I’m scrubbing in on a hemispherectomy with Rogers.”
“Get out!” She responded. “I would kill for that.”
“We're gonna cut out half a girl's brain and it's going to work. It's outrageous. Almost makes it hard to hate him.”
“Why do you hate him?”
“Oh, no reason.”
“You know about him and Y/N, don’t you?”
“You know?”
“When are you gonna figure out that I know everything?”
Noticing Val walking up from behind, Clint pointed at Natasha. “She knows.”
“What?” Val questioned. “About Y/N and the Captain?”
“It’s been going on for, like ever,” Natasha commented.
“Seriously?”
“And you didn’t tell us?” Clint wondered.
“Ooh, you’re a gossip, huh?” Natasha responded.
“I am not!”
“I am,” Val said.
“He’s about to go into major brain surgery on no sleep? Not very responsible.”
“Jealous much?” Natasha chuckled. “Sex all night isn't about being responsible.”
“No,�� Val agreed, “it’s about sex all night. I can't believe you're not more pissed off about this, you of all people.”
“Well, Y/N works hard all day. She’s good at her job. Why should you care how she unwinds? I mean, you like to bake all night. Some people like to drink. Others like an occasional screaming orgasm.”
~~~
Gamora and you were carefully operating on Jessie in the OR. Gamora was letting you help with more than you thought she would.
“Handle with care,” Gamora advised as she handed you Jessie’s bowel. “This things—“
“Full of gunk,” you responded. “I know.”
“We need to free the bowel from the adhesions caused from the abscess. This poor girl. What was she thinking?”
“She wants her mother's approval. She wanted to please her.”
“And this damage is the result? Here, resect that.”
“Needle-tip Bovie, please,” you requested, handing the bowel back to Gamora.
“When you’re done here, you have post-ops waiting.”
“I know, Dr. Gamora.”
“Natasha also has the flu. So, you need to pick up the slack in the clinic as well.”
“Look, I’ll mop the floors, okay?” That earned you a glare from Gamora. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.”
“It's not the only thing that's inappropriate. While we're on the subject, you care to tell me what you think you're doing?”
“Look, I'll jump through hoops if you want me to. But what I do what I leave this hospital is my business.”
“Half this hospital knows your business. Flu isn't the only virus spreading around here.”
“I made a choice, and I know you don't respect me for that choice. But I'll live with the consequences.”
“Then I'll have lots of hoops for you to jump through.”
“I've done everything you've asked me to do. I may not do it your way but it gets done. So whatever else you got, bring it on.”
Suddenly, Jessie’s bowel burst. Spraying you with toxic waste. You could hear the people watching in the gallery go, ‘ew’.
“Okay, Dr. L/N, now that you’ve drained the organ, we can attempt to repair it,” Gamora said.
“Now my day is perfect,” you muttered.
The nurses tried to clean you up the best they could as you operated. Though they seemed to only make it worse. After the surgery, you and Gamora headed out into the hallway together.
“I need a shower,” you commented.
“No, I need a shower,” Gamora retorted. “You need to go tell that girl's parents what kind of kid they're getting back.”
“You're not gonna let me shower first?”
“That would be a hoop, would it not?”
“It would qualify.”
“Shower first, then.”
You rushed to the locker room. Val and Natasha were already there.
“Ew, what smells?” Val asked as you passed her.
“That would be me,” you answered, "or more specifically, my patient's insides all over me.”
“That makes me strangely happy.”
“Oh, Y/N,” Natasha grimaced, “you smell like—“
“Karma.”
“What?” You asked Val.
“Nothing.”
“Something vile is stuck in your hair,” Natasha told you, pointing to your hairline. “You know, just go stand over there, please.” She shooed you to the other side of the aisle.
“Ugh, how much do I love being a surgeon right now?” You mumbled.
“Karma,” Val laughed.
“What does karma have to do with anything?”
“I'm just saying, you've been given all the best surgeries. And now you smell like putrid goo. And you're giving off a stench. Karma's a bitch.”
Gamora walked into the locker room. “Dr. Rogers needs an intern in surgery,” she stated. “Which one of you is clear?”
“I’m good!” Natasha raised her hand. She was still looking pale. “Where do you want me?”
“You need to lie down somewhere.”
“I’m fine, I’m completely healthy.”
“L/N?”
“Of course,” Val grumbled.
“What is your problem?” You asked Val, annoyed.
“Um, you! Cause apparently you can help Captain McDreamy in ways the rest of us can’t.”
“You did not just say th—“
“Yes, I did!”
“Hey!” Gamora called out. “Natasha, hemispherectomy in OR 1 with Dr. Shepherd. Go.”
Natasha nodded and hurried away. Val marched off as well.
“Apparently, I’m not the only one with hoops,” Gamora smirked.
~~~
After showering, you found Mrs. and Mr. Todd in the lobby. As you walked, you explained to them what had gone on in surgery.
“We were able to reverse the gastric bypass, but we did lose a significant portion of her bowel,” you told them. “And because of the short gut syndrome, Jessie will never eat normally again.”
“Ok, wait, do…” Mr. Todd tried to put his thoughts together. “How do we help her here?”
“Well, getting proper nutrition will be a lifelong problem for Jessie.”
“Great,” Mrs. Todd murmured, annoyed, “as if we already don't have our hands full with her.”
“She gets good grades. She stays out of trouble. She's smart. I just think she feels like nothing she does is good enough for you.”
“If you somehow think that I'm responsible for this…”
“I think Jessie is killing herself to please you.”
“Oh, please. You have no idea what's going on in that girl's mind.”
“You're her mother. She worships the ground you walk on. She didn't do this for herself.”
“I think that this situation is completely—“
“Chrissy, shut up,” Mr. Todd interrupted.
Both you and Mrs. Todd looked shocked as Mr. Todd walked faster to Jessie’s room.
~~~
Clint had had an interesting day, to say the least. He had discovered that the anesthesiologist in Steve’s surgery was drunk. Bringing up to Dr. Rogers, both the anesthesiologist and Dr. Rogers got mad, throwing him out of the surgery. Which is why he needed another intern.
Durning the surgery, Natasha and Dr. Rogers quickly realized that Clint had been right. Allowing Natasha and another doctor to close, Steve requested Clint to met him outside of the OR.
“Let me explain,” Steve began.
“It’s fine,” Clint responded.
“No, there is a code among doctors. We're not supposed to ask each other questions, not within the walls of this hospital.”
“Okay, so, I was out of line.”
“No, you weren't. I was. I was out of line. Somebody should have taken responsibility. It should have been the guy doing the cutting. It should have been me. You didn't deserve what happened to you today. You did the right thing code or no code.” Steve held out his hand for Clint to shake. Hesitantly, Clint shook it. “You saw me leave the house this morning, didn’t you?”
Clint pulled his hand away. “Oh, was that you?”
“Hmm. I’m not using her. And I don’t favor her.”
“She’s pretty great, you know.”
“Mm-hmm. I know.”
~~~
You went to Jessie, getting her into a wheel chair so that you can walk her around while talking to her alone. You had made a phone call, and you needed to tell her about it.
“Did you fix me?” Jessie asked, after the two of you walked in silence for awhile.
“No, not completely,” you responded.
“So, I won’t get fat?”
“No.”
“Oh. That’s awesome.”
“Jessie, I’ve asked social services to contact your parents.”
“What? Why?”
“They can help you.”
“With what?”
“You don't know this yet, but life isn't supposed to be like this. It's not supposed to be this hard. And your mom… she isn’t suppose to treat you this way.”
~~~
You were so extremely grateful when you were finally allowed to go home. It was late, so you were expecting your roommates to be asleep. When you entered the kitchen, you found Val frosting a cake.
“I thought you’d be asleep by now,” you commented, searching for food.
“Yeah, well, I’m not,” Val retorted. “If you wait a few minutes, you can have a piece of cake. Baked it chock-full of love. Actually, chock-full of unrelenting, all consuming rage and hostility, but it's still tasty.”
“So you know?”
“I know.”
“Well, do you want the long, sordid version, or do you want the short version, where I started sleeping with a guy who turned out to be my boss?”
“Neither.”
“Val, cut me some slack here.”
“No. You went to Dartmouth. Your parents— don’t get me started on that. I know you’re trying to hide who your parents are. But I know. You grew up— look at this house! You know, you walk into the OR, and there isn’t anyone who doubts that yo should be there. I… I grew up in a trailer park. I went to state school. I put myself through med school by posing in my underwear. You know, I walk into the OR, and everyone hopes I'm the nurse. Y-you have their respect without even trying, and you're throwing it away for...what? A few good surgeries?”
“No. It's not about the surgeries. It's not about getting ahead.”
“Then what? A little hot sex? You're willing to ruin your credibility over that? I mean, Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” You huffed, shaking your head. “Oh, my… you’re falling for him.”
“I am not.”
“Oh, you so are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You so are. Damn it, you poor girl.”
“You know, it's just that he's just so… And I'm just… I'm having a hard time.”
"Wow, you're all, uh, mushy and… warm and full of secret feelings.” Val handed you a piece of cake.
“I hate you!” You snatched the cake from her. “And your cake.”
“My cake is good. So, um, how hot is the sex?”
“Val.”
“What? Come on, my girlfriend broke up with me, I’m not getting any. Help a girl out with a few details.”
~~~
Steve showed up at your door an hour later, exhausted as well. You two headed up to your bedroom. You were both on either side of the bed, pulling back the covers.
“You know,” Steve slurred, “we could just…”
“Sleep?” You finished.
“We could, yeah, if… if you want to.”
“Yeah?”
You both crawled into bed. You turned off the lamp beside you before cuddling into Steve’s side. He reached over and turned off the lamp at his side.
“I could get used to this,” you whispered, falling asleep.
next chapter >
NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.
If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.
#steve rogers x reader#gamora x reader#peter quill x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#clint barton x reader#scott lang x reader#tony stark x reader#the avengers x reader#avengers x reader#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel imagines#steve rogers imagine#Steve Rogers
138 notes
·
View notes
Note
op i just want to say ive been skimming through your cta au and i absolutely ADORE it so far. ive been a huge fan of your uknighted dream content for a while (comfort ship!!) but i never really knew about cta until now and the way it ties into both tts and vat7k is incredible- (love the vat7k and cta crossovers, both casts are so fucking chaotic and it makes for an absolute disaster of a dynamic /pos) i love all of your ideas and how they develop the canon universe and cassandra’s character. post series/vat7k is one of my favorite concepts to play around with, because i love this cast and theres so much potential for development/trauma recovery within that found family. lots of morally gray characters its very yummy and i love how you don’t villainize any of them because it makes me really sad when people do
i LOVE the idea of cass finding solidarity among other victims of gothel and zhan tiri’s manipulation. i mean she had rapunzel ofc but otherwise? that was it and the whole point of this trip was to find a place for herself when she ISNT with rapunzel. finding more people who understand her and empathize with her and make her realize “hey, i can still move on from this” is something she really needs now more than ever before. plus lio is super lovable and shes such a fun character for cass to bounce off of. she has that extroverted energy raps and eugene always provided (i think cass kind of needs to be adopted by an extrovert or two to function /affectionate) but she still has a fiery side to her thats similar to cass
if i had to ask any questions….anything more about cass and varian’s relationship? i absolutely love platonic cass and varian content (and theres so little of it god), and especially as they’re both on their own journeys of self discovery, i feel like after the events of season 3 theres a lot of potential for healing for the both of them and their relationship in general. getting through that trauma together and cass becoming varian’s supportive lesbian big sister is my favorite thing ever
admittedly i never even thought id be that interested in a cass spinoff, but tbf i think it was just because i had seen vat7k, but i had no idea what a cass spinoff would be like, so i had nothing to go off of. seeing someone else actually come up with that interpretation instead of just saying “yk a cass spinoff would be cool” has made me realize how much i really need this. anyways thats all i just really felt the need to dump my excitement upon finding this last night
First of all, thank you so much!! Post-series stuff is very fun to play with because there's still so much to unpack, and dealing with protagonists who start off on their journey already having all this baggage with them is always interesting.
And neither Cass nor Varian should be villainised imo- the real story of TTS in my eyes is that Gothel's influence and the Coronan Monarchy as a whole negatively impacts Rapunzel, Cassandra and Varian in different ways but there's this catch 22 where for things to get better for Rapunzel things will get worse for the others (which is simplifying it a lot but is a pretty neat description). And so of course getting to see these characters detach themselves from Rapunzel- not cutting her out of their lives so much as distancing themselves from a whole society that places her as the centre of the solar system- is a pretty huge deal!
Using other relatives of Gothel to explore Cass' trauma in a way that is separated from Rapunzel was always a key idea I had, especially in such a way that like- Cass' half sister Helen is a full adult woman who has wisdom she can impart because she's at a different stage in her life, while Lio on the other hand is almost entirely removed from Gothel's influence but your mother's trauma becomes your trauma in a lot of ways so she gets to deal with that too :)
And I agree that Cassandra needs an extraverted push haha, not that I think she's at all antisocial, but I don't think she'd be inclined to go outside of her comfort zone on her own (and only having animal companions is not Healthy). You pretty much hit the nail on the head with Lio being that good bouncing buddy- what TTS always really lacked (by design) was a character who's very emotionally astute, so she differentiates herself by just getting it without needing much explained to her. And Alphecca is just here to be a disaster for that sweet disgraced ZT disciple solidarity lmao
Between Cass and Varian though, it sort of is by necessity that they have to go on separate journeys- they need different things, and I think for Varian it's primarily an expanded worldview outside of the narrow scope of Corona, and peers closer to his own age where everyone's on equal footing, so he can explore different relationships without a pre-existing dynamic of 'teenager and adult' or even 'teenager and pre-teen'.
So in that sense there kind of can't be too much crossover between their travels, for as much as I agree with you in that their platonic relationship has the potential to be really strong! I wish there was more to build off of from the series itself, but I still think there's room for it in post-series stuff.
In the context of CTA their paths do cross, in a situation where they're in semi-hostile territory and Cass is doing her best to shelter Varian from the severity of the situation without either stepping on his toes or keeping him completely in the dark. A lot of my Seven Kingdoms stuff is altered from the original concepts- both in the AU and in canon- but the key concept I had between them was that in Donella Varian sees an antagonist who's just causing problems and getting in his way while to Cassandra she's a key figure in dealing with the bigger, actually serious threat, and overcoming that misunderstanding is a big source of growth for them.
Anyway having said all that I really appreciate all this and your interest in my silly little ideas! It's always fun to talk about and I will elaborate on anything if asked c:
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Could Kiss You Right Now! | Bell! Reader x Frank Woods
A/N: I saw this super cliché prompt a little while ago and I can’t help but feel like this situation fits everybody’s favorite himbo perfectly. Pronouns are purposefully unspecified. It’s a bit short but I had fun with it! I'll also be posting part IV to Guilty tomorrow!! (1000+ words)
Warnings: Strong language, suggestive actions (No smut, sorry)
Your brows furrowed and your mouth set into a deep frown, creating the most painfully frustrated, displeased expression Woods had ever seen. Mason, who was meant to be the painfully serious one, also took notice, nudging Woods to do something about it. Woods was glad to accommodate Mason’s unspoken request to break that tension.
“Bell!” His gruff, raspy voice yelled from the opposite side of the safehouse, near the van where he and Mason were sitting. You shot your head behind you from the swivel chair you were sitting in, startled. Your glare was sharp, sharp enough to send shivers down the spine of anyone.
“What?” You huffed with gritted teeth. The initial annoyance you felt had risen to anger, bordering on outright belligerence.
“Stand down. I’m just tryna get you to lighten up.” He raised his hands in defense, a lopsided grin on his face.
“Do I look like I want to be lightened up? I’m doing something.” You bit your lip, shooting an ice cold glare towards Woods. He was unfazed by this. He strided confidently over to the refrigerator behind the evidence board that was stockpiled with leftovers and alcohol and grabbed just what you needed to calm the hell down.
“You need to be lightened up. Have a beer.” Woods placed a bottle of German Lager next to your hand and shook your shoulder in a gesture of friendliness.
“Somehow I don’t think that is going to help me decode this stupid fucking, I don’t know, this thing!” You rubbed your temples, trying to assuage the headache you felt coming on before it even started.
“All that thinking is bad for ya.” Woods joked, and Mason practically leapt at the chance to insult his friend.
“You would know, huh?” Mason smiled as he grabbed a beer for himself.
“I do think, sometimes. I just see what has to be done and do it. No thinking required for doing the right thing.” Woods defended. You admired his Get-Shit-Done attitude, but it was perhaps a bit woefully uncomplicated.
“If only I lived in your world of such simplicity.”
“You could if you drank that beer.” Woods encouraged.
“Somehow I don’t think Adler would approve.” You were worried about his reaction to see that you were fucking around while decrypting a time-sensitive floppy disk for an op.
“To hell with Adler. You’ve been working on that damn thing all day.” Mason chimed in. “Besides, he’s a lot looser than you think. Drink, maybe it’ll help.” You obliged Mason, and opened the bottle, chugging the alcohol until the bottle was gone. You sighed in contentment, but cringed at the bitter taste.
“Happy?” You jabbed, a smirk appearing on your face as you watched Woods’ impressed reaction.
“Do you feel better?” He chuckled, his hand on his chin.
“No.” You sighed. “I won’t be until I can figure this shit out.”
“Then I’m not happy if you’re not.” Your heart jumped at his simple, but kind statement. “Lemme help you.”
“Woods, you’re not exactly a cryptographer-” You were cut off by him taking one more swig of his beer before slamming it down, pulling a nearby swivel chair to sit awfully close to you. He put his large hand on your shoulder, grabbing the papers you were working with.
“I’m also a bit smarter than you all might think. You might just need some fresh eyes.”
“Go ahead.” You resigned, leaning back in your chair, turning around to look at Mason who nodded, a non-verbal cue to let Woods do his thing. It couldn’t possibly hurt. His eyebrows were raised while Woods’ face was set in the same intense concentration your own was moments ago. It was a few moments of silence before Woods finally spoke up.
“Got it. Your mark is this dude.” He said, pointing at the picture of one of the suspects on your very long list of suspects. He rose from his seat, walking to the table where Mason was sitting, leaning onto it.
“How-how did you figure that out?” Your mouth was agape, slightly jealous that he could figure it out before you could.
“Well, judging by what you decrypted, I was able to cross-reference it to-” His words were fogged by your boggled mind, you couldn’t recall what he had said. All you remember was that it made perfect sense.
Quite frankly, you didn’t care what he said. You looked at him in admiration, barely noticing the adoring grin plastered across your face. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that beer so quickly. Or maybe you were just a lightweight, but you hardly cared in that moment.
You shot up from the seat. “Woods, I could kiss you right now!”
“No balls.” He egged you on, returning the sweet smile you had as he hoped you would prove him wrong.
You raised your eyebrows, a mischievous smirk as he nodded.
Apparently, that was all the encouragement you needed as you practically ran towards the man, colliding your lips with his without thinking, wrapping your arms around his neck. All sense of propriety left the both of you as he gripped your waist with one hand and cupped your cheek with the other, returning the gesture with equal passion. You pressed forcefully against him, making him practically sit on the table he was leaning on. Woods groaned into your mouth and grinded ever so slightly against you.
You broke the kiss, leaning your forehead against his as you both smiled. You two barely noticed Mason’s astonished expression, he awkwardly turned away to shield himself from that outburst.
“Apparently you do have balls, Bell.” He chuckled, breathless. Mason cleared his throat to remind you of his presence. “Wow.” Was all Woods could say.
“And I’m sure he’d love to fondle them but uh,” Mason pursed his lips, outwardly appearing unimpressed, but his eyes betrayed him, it was obvious he was amused at that display. “D-Do you guys want me to leave?” Mason rubbed the back of his neck and snickered.
“Get your ass outta here! I got stuff to do!” Woods yelled, waving Mason off as he left the safehouse. Mason shot back an obscene middle finger before closing the door as Woods brought you closer once more.
#frank woods#frank woods x reader#black ops cold war#alex mason#bo:cw#bocw#call of duty#cod#quizzy writes
194 notes
·
View notes
Text
Emily's Top Surgery (Read on AO3)
Penemily / Gen / 4038 words
Emily has top surgery and their loving, perfect, beautiful girlfriend Penelope is their caretaker.
Notes: I refer to Emily as Penelope's girlfriend intentionally; Emily is a non-binary lesbian and in this particular story, is comfortable with the gendered term "girlfriend". However, if you see Emily referred to as she/her at any point, that's an editing mistake on my part and I mixed up their pronouns with Penelope's. I went through this a couple times to make sure I gendered them correctly, but one might have slipped through the cracks!
Also feels important to say that Dr. Dolan is a totally fictional doctor and not a reference to any real life surgeon
-
Surgery Day
Penelope has seen her team through too much already. Kidnappings, stab wounds, bullets – their jobs aren’t exactly arts and crafts. Yet, she thinks this might be the most nervous she has ever been. She’s been rapid-fire tapping her heel for the last hour and forty-five minutes, and trying to distract herself with her cell phone. Morgan texted a couple times to check in (once on behalf of Reid), but otherwise, radio silence. The few messages mean more than she can say; she is intimately familiar with how busy they are on a case. But she really wishes any of them were there to squeeze her hand right about now. She’d even take Strauss.
In the middle of Penelope’s billionth Candy Crush level, a doctor materializes in front of her. She startles and fumbles her phone trying to click it off. “Is it over? Can I see them now? How’d it go?”
As the doctor peels his surgical mask off, she sees he’s laughing at her. That’s good, right?
He says, “Everything went just fine, Ms. Garcia. Emily’s in the recovery room now, and we’ll let you back there about twenty minutes after they wake up. They’re going to be a little groggy and maybe nauseous. It all depends on how their body reacts to the anesthesia. They’ll most likely sleep for the rest of the day, but make sure to keep up with their medications, alright?”
Penelope nods fervently. “Absolutely, Dr. Dolan. Can do. Will do! And I’m sorry to ask this again but I really have to make sure, the whole operation was totally fine? Nothing went wrong? Everything…chopped off okay?”
The doctor stifles a chuckle. “Yes, Ms. Garcia. Everything went exactly as planned, no complications as of yet. We’ll see you tomorrow for Emily’s one day post-op appointment to check the surgery site and switch out the bandages for a binder, and then for their first week post-op. Okay?”
Penelope smiles back, still nodding along like Emily’s health depends on it.
The doctor shakes her hand and ducks back into the surgical ward, leaving Penelope to update the group chat.
“Emily’s out!!!!!! Doc says all good!!!!!! Will be with them soon 😍💖🥳”
She types almost as quickly as her heart is beating.
Penelope makes it through another few rounds of mobile games and desperately refreshing her Twitter feed before she risks checking the clock. It’s been half an hour. Shouldn’t Emily be awake by now? What if they never wake up? Could someone be permanently anesthetized? Reid would know. Maybe Penelope should call Reid. No, she can’t do that. They’re all off in Texas trying to catch a serial killer and she doesn’t need to distract them, not when they’re already down two team members. Kevin Lynch is pretty good, she hopes. She’s seen his work and it’s adequate. Nothing like the multi-tasking Penelope pulls off, but in the same ballpark. His boyfriend, Grant Anderson, vouched for him. It was unnecessary, and maybe Kevin shouldn’t have sent the person who got Elle shot to sing his praises, but at least they knew Grant. Kevin was a stranger from another department. A back-up.
“Penelope Garcia?” A nurse calls as she emerges from swinging double doors.
“Yes, right here!” Penelope chirps. She leaps to her feet and scurries over as quickly as her heels will allow.
The nurse walks her through the recovery ward and the steps to Emily’s post-op instructions. Emily has four different prescriptions already filled and two cannot be taken at the exact same time while one is an antibiotic and the other is just for nausea which they might not need and –
“This is all written down, right? Sorry, my head’s just like, woo, swimming right now,” Penelope says. Her eyes are wide and darting frantically between the curtained beds. She hates the fluorescent lights. Her skin is buzzing with all the sour electricity. The nurse assures her they’ll send them home with physical copies along with phone numbers in case of emergency.
They round the nurse’s station and finally, come to Emily. They’re shifting slightly in their bed, leaning forward and sipping at a dixie cup of water. They're groggy and slow, with the IV still in their arm. Penelope’s glad they don’t have a mirror – their bangs are scattered over their forehead in three wispy chunks, a way Penelope knows Emily hates.
“Hey sweetheart,” Penelope coos. She leans over the bed's plastic siding to kiss the top of Emily’s head, and run her fingers through their dark hair. Emily leans into the touch.
They croak, “Hey,” and cough to clear their throat, wincing all the while.
“That’d be because you were intubated,” the nurse says. “Take plenty of cough drops and you should feel much better.”
Penelope assures the nurse they will while Emily drifts in and out of focus.
“Did it work?” they ask.
“Did what, Em?”
“M’surgery.”
“Oh! Yeah, totally. You’ll see in a little bit. You’re just sleepy.”
“M’kay,” Emily says. Their head lolls back into their pillows as the muscles in their face tighten.
“Emily, what would you rate your pain out of ten?” the nurse asks, coming closer with her clipboard at the ready.
“Uh, five? Maybe six.”
Penelope looks to the nurse. “Is that bad? That sounds bad. I thought it wasn’t supposed to hurt right now.”
The nurse jots down a few notes before she answers. “It’s not unusual. We’ll up their pain killers before we remove the IV.”
Penelope plants herself firmly at Emily’s side in the meantime. They’ve redressed Emily in their own clothes, an oversized button-down and sweats. Well, Penelope assumes they put Emily’s bottoms back on. The blanket is still tucked tightly around their body like they’re some kind of soft, hot mummy. They stay like that for another fifteen minutes, Penelope working her nails through Emily’s scalp as they try to relax.
When Emily rates their pain at a four, then a three, Penelope helps the nurse settle them in a wheelchair. They roll a few feet into the hall before Emily claws for Penelope’s arm.
“Where’s the barf bag?” Penelope asks. She has her hand out and ready for the nurse to pass it over, and swings it into Emily’s face.
Emily, thankfully, does not puke. Their slow, steady breath crinkles the blue plastic bag, but all they fill it with is air. They keep a tight grip on the thing for safekeeping, even as they’re helped into the passenger’s seat of Penelope’s car.
“You ready to go home, lovebug?” Penelope keeps her voice low and sweet, like dark honey. Emily nods and Penelope grants her wish, starting the engine and turning out of the parking lot.
-❤-
One Day Post-Op
Penelope holds her breath as the nurse unwraps the medical bandages. She wonders if Em is doing the same. While she’s watching them, Emily’s eyes flit between her and the floor-length mirror fastened to the exam room wall.
The nurse is talking, and they’re both supposed to be listening, but who could expect them to? Emily has spent a couple grand (after insurance) and something like four years waiting for these next seconds. Penelope is just as invested, if not more, in Emily’s happiness. She’s not going to get the camera out, but wonders if she should just in case Emily cries.
Their eyes follow the final bandage as it unravels from Emily’s form.
And Emily’s mind goes quiet. They have two, deep red swoops where their chest used to bulge. Above and below, their body is nothing but smooth skin. They thought this would feel like shock. Like disbelief that they were finally here. Instead, it just feels right, as if this is the way it’s always been and some crappy daydream is over at last. They giggle, and Penelope glows like the sun has risen.
“Wow,” Penelope says, soft. She’s wrenched with admiration.
The nurse is smiling in the corner. She takes out a roll of Steri-Strips and measures them against Emily’s new scars. Scars! Emily finally has scars!
“Now the bruising should lessen in the next three to four weeks,” the nurse says. Oh, bruising. Emily almost hadn’t noticed. Their body is splotched with patches of yellow, green, and purple as if it’s trying to camouflage itself, but Emily’s not hiding from anything anymore.
They’re given more practical information, like how often Emily should be walking to avoid blood clots, how high they should lift their arms, how much they should be carrying – most of which tells them to stay reclined, arms down, to sleep as much as possible, but get in ten minutes of walking every few hours. Penelope hears more of this than Emily does, and again, they’re given written instructions just in case.
Emily takes one last look before the compression vest goes on. This will be the most uncomfortable part of the process, thank god. Emily chose a surgeon who used a tighter suture method rather than the typical drains intentionally. Still, the fit of the binder is exciting. Emily’s never had something lie flat on them before. Their body now falls in one fluid line without anything, even nipples, to interrupt.
“Em?”
Emily snaps to Penelope, who is standing and holding the door for them.
“Oh, right,” Emily says with half a laugh and a daze in their eyes. They thank the nurse, and the receptionist, and a passing surgeon that isn’t even Emily’s on the way out. This is the most gratitude Emily’s ever contained in their life, and they need to flush it through their system.
“And especially you,” Emily gushes as Penelope helps buckle their seatbelt. “You’re amazing. I can’t believe you’re taking time off for me, or that you’re not stir crazy already. Thank you.”
Penelope grins like she might burst, and can’t answer just yet. She gets them safely onto the highway for home first. “Of course I’m here for you, dumb-dumb! Not only because you literally can’t do anything for yourself right now, or because the hospital said you couldn’t have the surgery without having a caretaker, but, well – okay, maybe half for those reasons too. But because I love you. I’m so happy for you, and how happy you’re going to be, and that this is so good for you. I love you so much.” Penelope sniffles.
“Maybe you should have said all that before we left?” Emily asks. “You’re gonna cry the whole drive back, babe.”
Penelope swats at them. “I know, I know! But you’re on a strict schedule, my lovely angel, and you need your meds in like, thirty minutes.”
Emily laughs and catches Penelope’s hand in their own. They squeeze it tightly and press their lips to Penelope’s fingers. Emily only releases when Penelope tugs their grip toward the steering wheel.
“Next stop, Recoveryville,” Pen jokes.
-❤-
Five Days Post-Op
Emily is more or less comfortably laid on their couch. They have an arsenal of pillows stationed behind them, under their arms, and at the bend of their knees, and Penelope’s militant care routine keeping them afloat. For the last four days, they’ve done nothing but watch French art films together, eat ice cream, and order takeout. It’s been a nice break, Emily realizes. One they didn’t know they needed.
Penelope emerges from the kitchen with a bag of Doritos and a bright blue DVD in her hands.
“This looks like a bribe,” Emily says with a wry smile.
“That’s because it is. I am in no place to object to your choice of movies, especially after I promised I wouldn’t make fun of the accents anymore. But I was sorta hoping this would be a good opportunity to manhandle you into watching a real classic.” Penelope blocks the television in her pink pajama pants and Emily’s Yale hoodie. Penelope is well aware that Emily loves when she wears their clothes; she has to be doing this on purpose. And it’s working.
Emily bobs their head from side to side, considering the offer. “Alright, shoot. I’m willing to cut you a deal.”
Penelope slaps the movie cover over her face. Mamma Mia! (2008) Dir. Phyllida Lloyd.
“Oh, god.”
And Penelope reemerges, scowling. “Hey! I didn’t complain when you made me watch that sad movie about the woman with the dead family. This time, no one’s dead! And they’re in Greece! Okay, admittedly no one wants to hear Pierce Brosnan sing, but if you ignore him and focus on Meryl Streep the movie gets a lot better!”
This is not the first time Emily has heard argument on behalf of Mamma Mia! and it likely isn’t the last, either. Movie night in the Garcia-Prentiss household is in a state of constant debate and usually decided by a fair and unbiased coin toss. Emily considers it a miracle that Penelope’s lasted this long without putting up a fight, and considers it part of her generosity as their caretaker.
Emily scooches themself into a more upright position. “Trois coleurs: Bleu is a beautiful movie and you said you liked it, first of all. And I thought we were watching my movies because I’m the one healing.”
Penelope hesitates. “…Yes, but I may have also been doing a little eensy weensy bit of work at the same time because they’re also like, really slow and boring and Kevin needed the tiniest, tiniest bit of help on the Texas case.”
“Traitor!” Emily is aghast. “What about the deal?”
The deal, of course, was the promise they made each other after their third movie night. Emily was texting throughout The Muppets Take Manhattan and not entirely invested in Kermit and Miss Piggy’s wedding. Penelope was hurt, Emily was confused, and didn’t fully get it until Penelope fell asleep twenty minutes into Deux ou trois choses que je sais d'elle. From that point on, they agreed to compromise more on movie selection and to pay undivided attention to the films they did pick.
“You passed out! I thought the deal was void if you weren’t awake during your own movie!” Penelope said.
“Why didn't you wake me up?” Emily argued.
“Oh, yeah, I’m going to wake up the person who just had surgery so they can pay attention to the third sad foreign movie of the day. You need your rest, and Kevin has maybe half of my inimitable skills!” Penelope’s words were jumbling together as she went up an octave. “I know I’m on vacation but the team needed help and I didn’t want to abandon them with some computer monkey who doesn’t know the first thing about my system, much less the way the team works, and isn’t even a regular assist on cases like me and—”
Penelope is cut off by three short raps at their front door. A welcome escape.
“Pen!” Emily calls after her. “We’re not done here!”
“I think we are!” Penelope shouts back. She passes down the hall and peers through the peep hole, though, she really doesn’t need to. She recognizes the voices on the other side.
“We’re not too early, are we?”
“It’s two in the afternoon, genius.”
“I mean in days since Emily’s operation. They might not be up to company.”
“Then we’ll say hi to baby girl and head out, no big deal.”
Penelope swings the door wide open. “Definitely say hi to me, definitely do that!”
Morgan and Reid stand in their building’s hallway, Derek carrying bags of Chinese food, and Spencer juggling some sort of gift basket. Their eyes are tired and Derek’s stubble is looking rougher than usual, but they perk up in the light of their friend.
“Hey, there she is,” Morgan says. He comes in for a tight hug as he and Reid crowd themselves inside. “How’s everyone holdin’ up?”
“Peachy keen,” Penelope says. She squeezes Derek’s shoulder and leads them back to Emily by Reid’s hand. “Look who missed their favorite co-workers!”
“Hey, guys,” Emily says. Their heart warms at the sight of them. “What’re you doing here?”
“Now how’s that any way to greet a friend?” Morgan laughs. He lowers their takeout food to the coffee table and dives onto the couch beside Emily. “You been good to Garcia so far, or do we have to put the hurt on you?” He playfully punches Emily in their arm, and they cower in mock pain.
“Hey, no roughhousing!” Penelope scolds. “If anyone pulls any sort of muscle in the next twenty minutes, you’re all in timeout.”
Emily and Derek snicker in their seats and launch into the most recent case details. It’s a lot of the gory, icky stuff that Penelope doesn’t want to know unless she’s in her bat cave, so she takes Spencer and his basket into the kitchen.
“Doritos, huh?” he notices the bag Penelope drops on the counter. “You were trying to get something from them?”
Penelope answers with her head stuck in the fridge as she paws to the back for Spencer’s La Croix. “I may have wanted to watch one of my movies today, and I may have offered chips in payment.” She fishes a couple cans of LimonCello out, and huffs. “So what’s all this?”
“It’s from JJ. She wanted to come herself but didn’t think bringing Henry over was the best idea,” Spencer explains. He holds his drink gingerly with both hands and peers into the basket. It looks a lot like the one Penelope used for JJ’s baby shower, and is also definitely the same basket. Inside are a few bags of beef jerky, chocolate, a backscratcher with a little pink hand at its end, and an airline neck pillow with the Texas flag patterned over it.
“Awe. I’m definitely baking her cookies,” Penelope says. She leans back against the counter and eyes Spencer up and down. “Tough case?”
Spencer shifts from side to side and looks into the dark pit of his La Croix can. “Not much worse than usual. It was just… long. And Emily would’ve been a big help. None of us speak Spanish.”
“But you didn’t want to call right now,” Penelope guesses. “It’s all over though, right? All good? Everything wrapped up with a bow for good luck?”
Spencer nods and purses his lips. He looks over his shoulder to the living room, where Derek is describing something with his hands and Emily watches, wide-eyed and entertained. Spencer says, more to himself than Penelope, “It’s always good to be home.”
-❤-
Two Weeks Post-Op
“Emily Elizabeth Prentiss!”
Emily freezes with one arm reaching desperately above doctor-recommended height, and another gripping the cabinet door like their life depends on it. They press their forehead into the shelf, groaning, “That’s not my middle name.”
“I can make up whatever name I want! You know what Dr. Dolan said, and this is so far out of bounds!” Penelope stands in the kitchen threshold with her hands on her hips. She sighs and tugs Emily away from the cereal cabinet by their waist. When their arms are safely lowered to their sides, Penelope puts on her serious face, with her seriously furrowed eyebrows, and her serious frown on her lips. She asks, “Do you, like, want to injure yourself? Is this your new favorite hobby?”
Emily is petulant. “No, I want breakfast, and it’s on the third shelf. Let’s just pretend you got it for me, okay?”
Penelope grumbles her frustrations under her breath as she pulls down the family size box of Lucky Charms. She flurries around the space until she’s collected a bowl and spoon and settled them on the other side of the kitchen counter, where a bar stool and carton of milk wait for Emily.
“Sit,” Penelope orders. Emily complies with a glint in their eyes.
“Thank you,” they say, saturating their words with genuine love.
“Oh, stuff it.” Penelope pecks a kiss to their cheek regardless. She tries not to think about how cute Emily is when they’re smug, but it’s a losing battle. The way their nose scrunches, the smirk; not helping. Instead, Penelope picks a smidgeon of a fight.
“Your hair is greasy.”
And Emily’s face falls flat and exasperated. They let their spoon rest in the pool of marshmallows. “Can we do this after I eat?”
“Oh, lovebug. Absolutely not,” Penelope smiles knowingly. “You haven’t washed it in like, four days, which tells me that it’s not as easy as you said it was. Y’know, I was wondering who said washing your own hair was too much work immediately after having an operation? It would have to be someone super smart and beautiful and funny and—”
“It was you, Penelope. We all know it was you.”
“Funny; it was, wasn’t it?”
But Penelope lets them finish their cereal. She was about to eat her own Eggo waffles, after all. Once the dishes are rinsed and in the washer, she marches Emily straight into their bathroom. The tub thankfully doesn’t share a wall with the toilet, making it easier for Emily to scoot in next to the faucet. Penelope folds Emily’s towel (the towel that is dark purple, and not spring green, which Penelope keeps carefully out of the splash zone) (unlike Emily, who does not mind if their towel is damp long after it should be dry, and probably growing some type of mold) (okay, it’s not growing mold, but Penelope insists that it will eventually become mold-ridden if Emily doesn’t start hanging it up more consistently) along the side of the tub. Emily fits the towel under their neck, and Penelope guides them into position.
“Your hair is so thick,” Penelope comments.
Emily says, “You tell me that once a week.”
“Because it is. Now close your eyes.”
Penelope detaches the removable showerhead and lets the water warm her hand. When it’s a comfortable temperature, she douses Emily’s head. She maneuvers carefully around Emily’s forehead to avoid hitting their face, though Emily’s eyelids flutter when they worry the stream is near. Penelope thinks with their long eyelashes, they look like butterflies about to take flight.
She works the shampoo in with a gentle, but thorough touch. It’s when she rubs the lather into Emily’s scalp that Emily lets a soft moan break, and Penelope smiles. She takes pride in her work, whether she’s at her desk or in her soapy bathroom.
The shampoo swirls down the drain as Penelope rinses Emily free. Emily opens their eyes and tries to sit up, but Penelope pins their shoulders to the tub.
“Hold on! I haven’t conditioned yet.”
“Isn’t shampoo enough? We’re going to be here again in three days. It’s a hassle.”
Penelope does not think so. For the low price of two-thousand dollars and the risk of post-op complications, Penelope’s seen her girlfriend relax for the first time in, maybe ever. She’s going to drag it out as long as she can. Which, for right now, means dumping a handful of conditioner into her palm and rubbing it through the tips of Emily’s hair.
The final rinse is cleansing, like the weight falls from Emily’s shoulders. Penelope swipes the towel from Emily’s neck and cocoons their hair inside. She manages to keep their shirt dry, for the most part. Emily sits up with a pain in their shoulders, and does their best to hide it.
“What’s wrong?” Penelope prompts. Their best is not nearly good enough, not when Penelope has the analytical eye of someone who loves them. Penelope plants Emily on their shared bed for the first time since their surgery, already grateful to have a little of Emily’s smell in the room again. She sits behind them and overlaps their legs with hers. Penelope digs into the knots wound through their back as if she's torturing for information.
“It’s almost like you have a stressful job or something,” Penelope says.
Emily snorts. “Yeah, something like that.”
Penelope massages her way down until Emily feels looser under her fingers. She leans her head into the crook of Emily’s shoulder and presses a kiss to their skin. “We could ask for more time off,” she offers.
Emily slouches against Penelope’s body. “We could. But we have to go back at some point.”
“Let’s pretend we don’t.”
Emily exhales. “Sounds good to me.”
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
“What’s the point?” for recovering!au?
thank you for the request! sorry this has taken such a long time to get out, but it’s here now!
trigger warning for eating disorders, relapse and hospitals
“You heading for the OR?” Connor asks, falling into step beside Ava as they exit the lifts together.
“Yep,” confirms Ava. “Got another CABG scheduled. Been almost practically back to back all afternoon. How about you?”
“Surprisingly, I’m free now. Patient cancellation.”
“Lucky you,” Ava grins as her phone pings in her pocket.
Taking it out, her eyes scan the notification, smile dying on her lips.
“Ava?” Connor asks, concern filling his voice as he eyes the expression on Ava’s face.
“It’s Sarah,” she manages, the words heavy in her mouth. “She collapsed in the ED.”
“Again?” Connor remembers the last time this happened, a little over four months ago.
Ava nods, knowing exactly what Connor is thinking. “I have to go,” she says finally. “Could you—“
Connor doesn’t let her finish her sentence.
“Go,” he says, placing a hand over her shoulder. “I’ll take your surgery.”
“Thank you,” Ava whispers, gratitude in her eyes as Connor waves her thanks away, nudging her gently back in the direction of the lifts.
“Let me know how she’s doing, yeah?” She hears him call as she steps into the lift, anxiety filling every inch of her.
The last three or so weeks had been insanely busy, for both Ava and Sarah, what with the way their shifts had worked out. It had meant in the end the two had always ended up missing each other, with one leaving as the other arrived, or one returning when the other was preparing to go. And with that, there had been little communication, other than perhaps a passing hello in the corridor, a kiss goodbye, or a hug before having to get out of bed at some ungodly hour. So having this knowledge, and with what she had just learnt, Ava knew this was a red flag. She knows almost exactly why Sarah had collapsed, and it’s hard for her not to blame herself.
Maybe, she thinks, if she had made more of an effort to ask, had paid more attention, had passed over some of her surgeries or post-ops to Connor, anything so that she could have been there more, she might have seen the signs.
She hopes, oh how she hopes she is wrong, and that this is completely unrelated, and that she is blowing this out of proportion, that there is some other, alternative reason.
But she just can’t shake the sick feeling that pools in her stomach as she exits the lifts beyond the Emergency Department.
She’s wracking her brain, trying to think of any rhyme or reason why this could have happened, if indeed it is what she thinks it is: the thought she just can’t seem to rid her mind of, the one that she keeps coming back to.
“Where is she, Maggie?” Ava asks, on seeing the charge nurse.
“Treatment four,” she hears, and doesn’t stick around for any more, heading straight there, heart beating at what she knows is well beyond the normal rate.
Ava pulls back the curtain to find April adjusting an IV line, while Natalie scrolls through what must be Sarah’s test results on her iPad, concern written across her face.
But her eyes fall on Sarah, lying there, looking so small and frail in her hospital gown.
“What happened?” Ava demands, and April leads her outside, just beyond the curtain, with Natalie following.
“Natalie called her down for a consult. Things were okay until she collapsed right there in front of the patient. Scared us all half to death,” April informs her softly.
“You might want to see these,” Natalie says, and Ava doesn’t miss the sadness in her tone as Natalie hands her the tablet.
It’s just what she had thought they would show, and Ava shakes her head, blinking back tears as she sees how much damage had been done, how much progress had been reversed in just 3 short weeks.
“According to her charts it looks like she’s missed her last two appointments with Dr Richardson. Did you know things were bad with her?” Natalie asks, a hand to Ava’s shoulder, and Ava feels like the worst person in the world.
“No,” she hears herself say, though it doesn’t sound at all like her voice.
This is all your fault. If you had paid more attention, this wouldn’t have happened.
“Ava,” she hears Natalie, noting how the doctor had switched to the voice she often heard her use with paediatric patients. “None of this is your fault.”
It’s as though she can read her mind.
“But it is. Sarah is supposed to be my responsibility,” Ava hates the way her voice sounds, broken, as she runs a hand through her hair.
“Some things you can’t control,” April says beside her. Ava knows she means well, but it’s all just wrong and backwards. Because for Sarah, this was all about control. Ironic, really.
“For now,” Natalie begins, that coaxing voice back, “you should just be with her.”
Ava just nods, letting the curtain fall behind her as April and Natalie take their leave.
She takes a shuddering breath and drags the stool to Sarah’s bedside, where she sits, taking hold of the thin, limp hand of her girlfriend.
“Ava?” Comes a voice, weak beside her, and Ava swears that if she wasn’t a cardiothoracic surgeon, she would have thought her heart had stopped.
“I’m right here, Sarah,” Ava tells her, squeezing her hand gently.
“Where am I?” Sarah asks, a little groggily.
“In the ED. April said you fainted.”
“Oh,” returns Sarah, her voice small, panic filling her face as she notices the IV line in her hand.
“Hey, hey, relax,” Ava croons, taking hold of both Sarah’s hands when she sees how distressed she is. “It’s just some fluids to help give you your strength back. You need them, okay bokkie,” Ava continues, using the pet name.
“No, I don’t! What’s the point?” Sarah cries out, every word punctuated with an agony that pierces Ava’s very soul.
“Nothing I do will work and I’m just so tired. I’m a psychiatrist. I know this is bad! I shouldn’t be having this problem. Ava you know I try, but…” Sarah trails off, and Ava can’t help but notice the way Sarah runs a finger over her clavicle, a subconscious habit she had.
“Sarah, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you,” Ava begins after a pause. “But—“
“Then don’t,” Sarah grits out, harshly, cutting Ava off. “Please, Ava, just go,” Sarah practically begs, bunching up the thin bed sheets and turning to face away from her.
Ava sits there, a few moments longer, until it becomes clear that this won’t be going anywhere, that Sarah isn’t ready to talk.
Twisting her hands, she lets out a sigh she hopes is mostly silent.
“Okay,” she says, willing the heaviness in her voice not to be too pronounced. Ava stands and moves to adjust Sarah’s pillow just how she likes it, the only way she can think of right now to give Sarah a little more comfort. “But Sarah,” Ava gently tells her, “I’m here for you, okay. No matter what. Please know that.”
There’s no response. Not even a shift in the bedsheets. And if the machine monitoring Sarah’s vitals wasn’t still beeping quietly in the background, well, Ava doesn’t want to give much rise to that particular thought.
With a final kiss to the top of Sarah’s head, a last attempt to let her know she is here, Ava turns to leave, drawing the curtains back around Sarah.
“Well?” Natalie asks her from her position at the nursing station, breaking away from a conversation with Maggie.
Ava just shakes her head. She doesn’t know quite what to say. What does one say? Besides, Ava really doesn’t wan to have to talk right now. With anyone. All she can think about is how much she had let Sarah down. How she should have been paying attention. And now she couldn’t even get Sarah to talk, much less get to the bottom of what triggered this.
-
It’s windy up on the balcony, and the evening is drawing in as Ava stares out onto the city of Chicago, a hundred thousand lights twinkling below. There’s still no more word from Sarah herself. Only that Ava can gather loud and clear she wants to be left alone. Which is especially hard to know.
“Hey,” a voice says beside her, making Ava jump. The fact she didn’t even hear him coming is a telltale sign something is wrong. Ava normally never misses anything.
“Your CABG went off without a hitch,” he begins lightly, trying to gauge Ava’s mood.
“Wish I could say the same about other things,” Ava deadpans, staring off into the distance, her focus on nothing in particular.
“How’s Sarah?” Connor frowns, leaning against the railing.
“Nat messaged to say she’s being transferred up to a bed to stay overnight for observation. She still doesn’t want to see me.” It comes out a little cold, detached. And honestly, Ava’s just feeling more than a little numb right now, so that assessment it’s about right.
“She’ll come ‘round,” Connor assures, putting an arm around Ava, who leans into him.
“Ooh my ears are burning,” comes a familiar voice from behind.
“Oh, hey Nat,” Ava manages a weak, sort of washed-out smile.
“How are you holding up?”
How was she? How did one answer that? How was someone dealing with all of this supposed to be?
Connor’s phone buzzes, breaking the silence.
“It’s Latham,” he says, checking.
“You’d better go,” Ava tells him, grateful for the diversion.
“It’s gonna be okay, Aves. You’re gonna get through this. You both are.”
“Thanks,” Ava sniffs as Connor pulls her into a tight hug, wanting desperately to believe his every word.
And then he’s gone.
“How’s Sarah,” Ava asks, eyes trained on the spot Connor had just vacated. She’s almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Pretty much the same. I’ve paged Dr Charles though. I hope you don’t mind?”
Ava shakes her head sadly. “Maybe he’ll have better luck than me.”
“Oh, Ava,” Natalie hums, holding her close, up there on the balcony. She doesn’t even care that Nat is probably using some of the tactics she uses on kids down in the ED. Because all Ava wants to do is believe things will be okay.
“How about I drive you back to yours so we can grab some things for Sarah?” Natalie suggests, filling the silence, smoothing Ava’s hair.
Ava agrees with a small nod. That seems like a logical suggestion. And in any case, she’s not sure she should be driving herself anywhere right now.
“Great,” Natalie says softly, her arms still safely around Ava. “And Ava, I promise you: everything will work out. It may not seem like it right now, but it will.”
There’s a fierceness in her voice, and Ava just clings to her. She wants to believe her. Wants it to be true with her whole heart. Because it has to be.
#recovering!au#my aus#sarah reese#ava bekker#they're both going through it#connor rhodes#natalie manning#april sexton#chicago med#reesker#asks#buiscitsandbooks#mutuals#eating disorder tw#hospitals tw#tw ed#my writing
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
sweet jesus youre REALLY good at pjsekai. props to you for real. ive been playing a little more often lately bc your posts remind me abt it. side note how do i get more than a C because omg the scoring is brutalll
SJHDJBJSB THANK YOUU!!! i dont know where this is coming from ive only like. briefly dabbled in cytus before this so like the rhythm game ability is not something i knew i had in me but here it is!
HONESTLY the best way to get higher scores quick is to play on co-op! both scores and song rewards are WAYYY boosted if you play in multiplayer rooms. usually when im playing i almost always play in co-op pro rooms unless im trying to get a new fc.
otherwise though, getting your scores up is a slow grind, theres no way around it. you have to get your talent value high in order to get higher scores! thats this number
the most straightforward way of doing that is just. pulling high rarity cards. 3 star and 4 star cards have much higher level limits than 2 and 1 star cards. pull from whatever banner is ongoing, get yourself some 3 and 4 stars, and then just grind those babies up. use your practice scores, especially when leveling up four stars, cause it takes a pretty sizable amount of work to max those out. when they’re as high as you can get them, upgrade them for 10 extra levels. if you have a team of all 3 or 4 stars that are all maxed out or at least upgraded, you should be at LEAST pretty squarely in the b range.
however! the area decoration items are also important!
thats the stuff like the flowers and fruit trees at the the two schools and the personal items you can get in all the sekais if you didnt know! you can get them in the shops in each area, the school ones by tapping on the shop npc seen above and the sekai ones by tapping on the miku plushie. these items are hugely helpful in boosting talent!!! if you have a specific character or band you play a lot with, go to that character’s sekai and upgrade their item or their group’s items as much as you can. if you notice your main team has a lot of a specific attribute then instead head to one of the schools and upgrade the flowers/fruit tree corresponding to that attribute. for the attributes, the pink flower is cute, the green sprout is pure, the orange heart is happy, the blue star is cool, and the purple moon is mysterious.
i, obviously, play a lot with wxs characters. my default team (in the first pic) is all wxs, and i almost never take tsukasa out of the leader spot, let alone off my team, even during events where he isn’t boosted. naturally im inclined to upgrade them more because of that, so my wonderland sekai shop looks like this:
and that contributes a lot to how high i score with that team! with my main team, i tend to get s ranks almost every time i play, even on singleplayer mode. in contrast, when im using a team focused on maxing out event points that doesnt have many wxs members, i usually average more around the A-S range in multiplayer and the B-A range in singleplayer, because while i do have some upgrades for every character, wxs is by far the most upgraded.
theres other things that boost scores too, like character ranks and having certain titles unlocked, but those other three are really the only main things you need to concern yourself with, the rest just kind of happens on its own as you play. i ended up rambling a lot but yeah! thats how to get higher rank scores in proseka teehee
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi Morgan, what do you think about this post? I try to support writers on here as much as I can by reblogging but sometimes I forget and it makes me feel bad when I see these posts :/
anon i don't think op is trying to guilt trip you or anything, i think they're more or less stating an actual point that readers have been rebloging and liking posts less and less while demanding more content, which is a big reason as to why a lot of writers have been leaving. instead of thinking of it as a personal attack, you should take the feelings of a lot of writers on here into consideration and try to understand them.
as to the main point, yes i agree with op but i’m pretty much undecided on the rest of it haha
I understand op wanting to distinguish between different types of posts but I don’t think I completely agree with not including prompts/headcanons/drabbles in the x reader tag. Those posts ARE x reader...unless op is saying that the only posts that should be in the x reader tag should be fics but also I've been tagging all of the aforementioned as x reader for years and I've seen them being tagged as so by others for years so I don't quite understand where this idea came from that it shouldn't be. i think there’s more of an issue in ppl mass spamming different character tags on their posts than i think there’s a problem in ppl tagging their nonfics as x reader. i get it means less exposure, but you also can’t really force people to read one’s long fic either whether or not it stays at the top of the tags for long...
but also i think my perspective is pretty much limited as to what the fandom’s general consensus on what tagging should be bc i don’t interact with fandom as much, but the lack of interaction (and yeah i think it’s more of a lack of interaction rather than exposure that’s the problem tbh they’re related but not necessarily correlated) that a lot of long fics receive is a problem and warrants a discussion or two.
I think another reason as to why i’m kinda confused is because I thought 'imagines' and 'x reader' are pretty much synonymous when it comes to tagging reader inserts on tumblr. it’s been so long since i’ve been actively searching for fics in the tags but op could might be referring to the one or two sentence "imagine your favorite character..." blurbs that i've seen floating around here or there. also i've also seen prompts turned into fully fleshed out fics, and headcanons have always been in the x reader tag too so?? 😭 maybe my idea of drabbles/prompts/hcs are different from other people’s who knows
I understand op’s point that a lot of ppl have capitalized on so called ‘short fics’ most of which utilize the following formula: short, usually headcanon-like, and nsfw to gather as much as notes as possible but those are STILL x readers unless op and the fandom want to redefine the entire established x reader tagging system? granted, it’s a good idea but it’s also an idea that not everyone is going to adhere to. just look at how much DC in the tags are unproperly tagged
honestly, i think it’s an injustice that a couple of sentences can get 4K notes while one of the most stunning long fics I've ever read gets maybe 50 but I feel like at this point no amount of complaining and venting is ever going to spur people into reblogging and liking, or even reading the fic. this isn’t me saying that writers don’t deserve to be upset that something they put their heart and soul into isn't getting notes, i just think there’s a fundamental problem with the way ppl interact with fics and take them for granted in general. i’m just resigned atp to cringing every time I see my couple hundred nsfw get more notes any other thing ive written rip
also to me a reader insert has always been a character in of itself. like there is absolutely no way to make a reader so vague so the many people reading it can imagine themselves as the reader. literally just no way. i think the in the end the goal with any reader insert is that your readers can project onto and connect with the mc whether that be their worries or insecurities or joy, etc. i think one of the benefits of writing a reader insert is that it’s more flexible. instead of projecting onto and making a canon character OOC to write them in a ship, you can just write a x reader or even an OC. i personally have never envisioned myself as a reader. to me, the reader is just another character. that’s why ultimately, i believe that everything and anything written in the second person format is a reader insert. that’s the conclusion i came to after spending my time on quizilla, quotev, and lunaescence anyway lolllllll it’s also why i prefer named mc’s when reading reader inserts tbh. i dislike (y/n) because i don’t like inserting my name into anything. i just replace it with some some generic name instead
ANYWAY!!
i definitely rambled in this one, it’s just interesting to see everyone’s perspective on fandom and tagging culture. long fics really do deserve attention and exposure. some ppl write 40k+ words!! for free!!! make sure you let your favorite writers know you appreciate their hard work!! even a few words in the askbox can make their day and it doesn’t even take long. i feel like that’s the least ppl can do!!!
#it's interesting to map out the trajectory of fandom because it's constantly changing#mb this is just my opinion but i appreciate asks and comments much more than i do likes and reblogs#haha this was long......is this discourse?#i just finished reading like 80 pages of dense ass theory my eyes are spinning#sorry if this doesn't make sense#oh oh!!! I also think it's interesting how we've started to see this trend of making detailed reader inserts rather recently#I rmb when it was either making the mc as neutral as possible /only outwardly fleshing them out / going all in with the detail#though the last one wasn't as prolific in older fandom spaces#when I was on Luna (rip) a lot of ppl did drabble fics with different prompts#and that setup allowed them to write easily integratable mc's for a single chapter w/o rlly elaborating on them#discourse
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;
first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut
i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad
im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent
was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)
i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say
its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.
if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug
and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.
so i had to make something that:
1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art
2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”
i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.
Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.
The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.
And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense
Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:
Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.
I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.
But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.
However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.
I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.
I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives.
If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.
Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.
_
As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this
51 notes
·
View notes