#ive reread it like 20 times
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jane of all trades
@professorfcknmoriarty
#dimension 20#d20#mine#sundry sidney#big barry syx#sundrysyx#a starstruck odyssey#modern au#fanart#based on a fic i read#so fucking good aghhh i love them too much#theres a second part to this but i felt too shy to finish it#so tired of all the porterjace in the ao3 tags can someone write more sundrysyx please god#ive reread this fic literally like four times it makes me so giddy my roommates have had to hear all about this nonstop#speaking of roommates i moved literally across the country so i havent been able to draw that much sorry ... more art soon :) especially#nsbu i have to catch up !!!!! ive been rewatching some of my fav campaigns like burrows end and acofaf instead of watching new stuff aghh
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and if i said i have yet another wip which is a various blue lock x reader fic series what then 🧍♀️
#IN HONOUR OF S2 LIKE ACTUALLY#god ive rewatched the anime like 6 times this week and reread the u-20 arc and cried bc sae#like i have chapters planned and kind of written… with the lore and backstory of reader basically figured out…#obv this would be on quotev and MAYBE cross-posted to ao3 but like ourgh i am so hyperfixated on this series idea its making me go insane#anyway im tired but asks will be answered like today or tmrw i swear 😭😭#sophie talks : concepts <3
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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today in horrifying asoiaf realisations: I am older now that littlefinger is at the start of a game of thrones
#I'm doing a reread#in Catelyn IV she notes LF is 'not yet thirty'#which did not feel young when I first read these books in 2011#you forget these things cause all the adult actors in the show are 10-20 years older#the maths doesn't quite work out - I think he probably should be 30 in agot#LF was 15 when he duelled brandon and robb is 14 at the start of agot so it doesn't leave much time#for that to work the time between the duel and ned&cat's marriage has to be like... no more than 3 months#the north remembers; and the mummer's farce is almost done
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i just realised what shes drawing here oml its over for me
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ok ive been indulging in a lot of escapism recently bc Good God I Need It and one of the forms thats taken is this immaculate, actively updating mcyt fanfic . however the writer just posted today that theres going to be another week or so minimum until the next update and i am going to start tearing things apart with my teeth
#yes i know a week isnt that long in fanfic timelines but im desperate ok lol.#i guess i can just reread it for like the 4th time..#or i could start working on my 20 book long reading list#mmmmmm next on the docket is next book in tbe which i know i will absolutely devour#the last book i finished was so bad so it kinda knocked me off my reading grind#the other forms of escapism have been this job thing and the apartment and the pinterest board for the apartment and also#arcane. soo so so much thinking about and watching videos about and watching and listening to the soundtrack of arcane#guys i think im coming around on jayce. im not saying i like him but ive thought about it some more and i think in some ways i can forgive#him. i think hes going to have a villain arc next season tbh.#alternatively to reading other ppls work i could start back up on my wip or my other wip or start a new wip or or or#anywayssss GOODNIGHT . lol
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Have you read all yet..
what does this mean?😭😭
#ginanana#IVE REREAD IT LIKE 20 TIMES IM SORRY I DONT UNDERSTAND#have i read all??#IS THAT THE NAME OF SOMETHING????#SORRY J HAVENT😭😭😭#.magic talks!#yujinslovr
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Oh man oh man oh man I have draft chapters of my current fic I need to work on to upload to ao3 but I picked up a 400+k word fic and I CANNOT put it down this fic is insane and intense and I am Hooked
#its so good and interesting two nights ago i didnt put it down to slepe until it was near 4#which is not the first time thats happened and definitely not the last but aaahhhh#i was getting better at updating every 2ish weeks instead of between 1-3 months#readers of my stranger things fic look away#i was also reading percy jackson again with the intent to read the entire riordanverse this time around#which is like 20+ books right? but then i read a long fic and another long fic#and now im on fic number 6 between book 3 and 4 andni just cant decide if (once im done with this fic) i should just continue to#the next book in the series or restart my reread as if id never picked them up to get back in the grove#anyway im frothing at the mouth about this fic and ive spent the last two days reading and i compltrly forgor#about my plans to work on the next chapter to my fic today#id say sorry to myself and readers of my fic but im really not#dragon talks
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Curry chicken for BREAKFAST
#speculation nation#spicy breakfast with some nice coffee. life is good.#im working on finishing up my reread of itnl so i can resume writing today#probably not likely the new chapter will be out tonight. tho who knows ive surprised myself before lol#naw i work tomorrow morning i cant stay up too late. wouldnt have time to edit even if i did manage to finish writing today.#but Good Chance i'll have it out tomorrow. we'll see :p#i want to. it has now been over a week since the last update and i HATE that#which yea a week isnt That much time. but id been updating like every other day lmao i am not liking this lack of productivity#i have big plans for this story and i wanna get there as fast as possible#which means WRITING!!!!!!#tho im also gonna b working on watching the 98 anime too. which ngl is probably great for me writing meryl & milly#bc i just plain rushed thru the original trigun manga in one sitting. my memories of it are spotty.#aka why i need to continue my official reread of that too lol#ive jumped around rereading all sorts of different spots of the manga for research purposes. but that's always later stuff#aside from like chapters 17-20 of trigun original. those are very useful chapters.#uhmmm yea coffee and curry. aw fuck im turning this into a leblanc place huh. doing sojiro proud.#intl shit#Sure. it's relevant.
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his gaze lingers. a slight hum parts the mockingbird's lips, as sweet a tune as any for all that they end up saying. “perhaps it is.” an idle agreement? a taunt to provoke? with the shutters now fallen over lilac eyes, it is difficult to place.
arval knows, they say. yes, everyone thinks they know something, don't they? about yuri—who they are, what they should do. everyone thinks they know something that he doesn't, or knows better than he does. but he is not some mindless sheep, like the flock that aelfric tends. no, he is wolf that stands vigilant by the shepherd's side, to whom he whispers all his secrets.
(the wolf still chained by his master. but not for long. not ever again, if he has anything to say about it—and he does.)
“here's what i know, then.” with a sharp click of his heel, the mockingbird turns to face them, voice empty of mirth. “it can happen.” a flash of silver, the hilt of a dagger snapped to the palm of his hand as his head tilts. the blade rises to touch its point at his own throat, and yuri smiles. “whenever, wherever, however i want it. no matter what you say on the matter.”
after all, they haven't forgotten, have they? the first time they met, yuri would have happily drawn his blade against their throat. if he hadn't been so slow with his sword. if they hadn't been so quick with their spell.
the whys and whens of murder are of no concern to him—death is his trade just as much as secrets and bribes. people do not merely seek the savage mockingbird only for the secrets he sings, but for the pointed blades of his wings too. to think to the contrary...it's almost laughable.
“and—” a jerk of his chin toward them, brow raised. the dagger is smoothly returned to its sheathe. “—have you seen yourself in a mirror? i'm good at what i do, but i'm not a magician. you're still pale as a ghost. i need time to fix that or the duke won't look twice at you.”
an exhale punctuates the end of it, accompanied by the shake of his head. yuri is doing too much, perhaps. it doesn't matter—he won't swallow the words. not for anyone. not for arval.
“not sure why you're asking me. that's why you're here, isn't it?” he drawls at their next question, arms crossing. fingers tap an idle rhythm against his hip. “don't leave us in suspense now. do go on.”
* I SHOULD LIKE TO BE SOMEONE ELSE .
❛ mission board: recovery, family heirloom — yuri & arval
#laruarva#╰⠀·⠀❥ 𝑖𝑛𝑡 › i should like to be someone else#❥⠀﹙ laruarva. ﹚⠀sometimes home is not a home‚ but a claw lodged inside you.#we return to our regularly scheduled yurival insanity#there is a draft of this in which yuri is far meaner but i scrapped it he can be a bitch another time#you dont wanna know how many times ive rewritten this. i in fact do not even know myself how many times ive rewritten this.#regardless the answer is too many#also was rereading the thread while i wrote this and it's crazy how we're 20 replies deep and they still havent confronted the duke LMFAO#i am scared to word count this thread
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Hello, I absolutely love your work. iv re read your stuff so many times that it's getting concerning.
Can I request the cullens x artist reader who made a painting of them I just think that would be cute
The Cullens with an Artist! Reader
Thank you?!?! I suggest seeking mental help for rereading my bad stories tho
Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!
Edward:
We all know that he is an artist too
He made Bella a whole song on the piano
As someone who can play the piano, that’s not easy
So he definitely loves that you’re also artistic
For you, he’s a muse
I mean, how could he not be
Literally the definition of perfect
So obvs you sketch him a lot
When he finds an almost finished painting one day of him, he is floored
He can never seem to wrap his mind around the fact that you are just as obsessed with him as he is with you
He hangs it up
Even if it’s not finished
If you insist on finishing it, he will begrudgingly take it down and give it back
But as soon as it’s done it’s all his
Alice:
She’s also an artist
But more with fashion
And design
She’s not so well-versed with the classical arts like painting or sketching
So she always loves seeing your paintings
She’s a coexistence girly
She loves to just be doing something while you’re painting
You know just sort of existing in the same space at the same time
The day you give her the painting, she is so surprised
It was so difficult for you to hide this from her
Especially with her gift
She absolutely loves it
She hangs it in the main room of the Cullen house
She wants absolutely everyone to see it and acknowledge how talented her s/o is
Jasper:
He loves the arts
They’re relaxing to him
Some of his favorite classes he’s ever taken in all of the schools they’ve been at have been art classes
He’s not good by any means, but he loves it anyway
Art dates with him are a must
He would love that tiktok trend where you and your partner trade paintings every couple of minutes
Never misses an opportunity to tell you that he loves your work
He honestly almost started crying when you showed him your painting of him
You made him look so happy, so peaceful
He’s used to being perceived as a monster
Definitely hangs it up
But only in his room
He wants to be the only one to see it
Rosalie:
She’s more of a technical, sciencey person
Not to say she doesn’t like art
Just that she doesn’t necessarily enjoy making it
She can definitely appreciate good work tho
And she loves everything you make
She buys you new supplies all of the time
If just one pen ran out of ink in your favorite set, she would buy you a whole new set
When you give her that first painting though, she’s obsessed
She wants at least 20 more by tomorrow
But actually, she knows that she’s beautiful
But something about the way you capture her is just so different she loves it
Emmett:
He’s not an art person either
He’s a bit of a meathead
But he can appreciate art
Probably not as deeply as other people can
But he know when it looks good
And he genuinely thinks you’re the best artist ever
He will gladly put all of your little doodles in the clear pockets of his binders
And hang them on his locker
When you give him the painting of him he’s actually dumbfounded
Like awestruck
What do you mean the best artist in the world just made a painting of him?
Get ready to be cuddled for the rest of the night
Esme:
Resident artist
We already knew that tho
I’m pretty sure it’s said that she’s the one who made the grad cap piece?
Idk
Either way she loves art
Pottery dates, painting picnics, date nights at the art museum
She loves it
So if you were to ever paint her and give it to her?
Yeah she’s gonna start crying
She just loves art, she loves you, and you put them together and she’s so in love
She hangs it in the main room
It doesn’t matter if the colors clash
And it’s never coming down
Carlisle:
Another appreciater of the arts
I mean, he probably knew Da Vinci on a personal level this guy is so old
So it’s no shock
Whenever he’s home and hanging out with you, he loves to watch you paint or draw
Especially if he’s doing some paperwork
I just feel like he would like the company while he’s working
Now I don’t see Carlisle as the type of guy to necessarily enjoy pictures or paintings of himself
The only portraits he has in his office are either him in a crowd or family photos
So when you give him a portrait of himself, he’s a little shocked at first
He doesn’t want to seem narcissistic, but damn you made him look good
He hangs it up in your shared bedroom
Even though he knows he will likely never have guests who would see it, he wants to make sure it’s hidden
He just doesn’t want people to think he’s vain
But he secretly loves it so much
Vampire! Bella:
I think I’ve talked about it before but this girl would have loved deviantart
Rip Bella you would have loved fan art of your favorite characters
But she totally had an artsy phase
I don’t think she’s necessarily good or bad
She just prefers to look at art rather than make it
So that’s where you come in
She loves just watching you work
Every once in a while she paints with you
But she always feels inferior when she looks at what you made vs what she made
So she usually just sticks to admiring
The first time you give her a portrait of herself, she doesn’t even know what to do
She’s still getting used to actually perceiving herself as beautiful
And then you capture her like she’s a goddess?
She needs to lie down
She loves it tho
#alice cullen#bella swan#carlisle cullen#esme cullen#edward cullen#emmett cullen#jasper cullen#jasper hale#rosalie cullen#rosalie hale#alice cullen x reader#bella swan x reader#carlisle cullen x reader#esme cullen x reader#emmett cullen x reader#edward cullen x reader#jasper cullen x reader#jasper hale x reader#rosalie cullen x reader#rosalie hale x reader
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Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 21
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29
Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.
Warnings : THESE WARNINGS WILL GIVE SPOILERS!!!! MDNI, angst, tension, anxiety, mentions of car accident/reader in accident, aftermath of accident, trauma as a result of accident, memory loss, mentions of cheating
Finally get to tell you where the inspo for this fic came from now that it won’t give away any spoilers. (all my Irish girlies stand up 🫡) I’d fully forgotten about this song this song until July, and when I listened to it it sparked the little ideas for me, and that’s how I came up with the main plot <3 I've been going through a break up (which was nearly a 10 year relationship) during the time of writing this so ive poured my heart and souuuuul into this ( i also want to note no themes of the story relate to me maybe only mentally clocking out bc of a bare minimum bf, do not fucking cheat on anyone) . this fic has been my baby and im so thankful to anyone who has read so far <3 p.s if you ever go back and reread this you’ll notice the little pieces of lyrics here and there lol
The world came back to me in fragments - blurred lights, muffled sounds, and an overwhelming sense of disorientation. As I fluttered my eyes open, the harsh brightness of the room made me wince. My head pounded with a dull ache, and my body felt heavy, as if it wasn’t quite mine.
I slowly turned my head to the right, trying to take in my surroundings, and there he was. The man I loved, sitting by my bedside. His face was a mixture of relief and something else, fear, maybe? His eyes met mine, and I felt a flicker of familiarity in the chaos of my mind.
“Alex..” I whispered, my voice weak and strained.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Try not to move too much,” Alex said softly, his hand reaching up to gently stroke my face. His touch was warm, comforting, but something about the way he looked at me sent a ripple of unease through my chest.
“What happened?” I asked, my voice barely audible, as panic started to rise within me. My thoughts were jumbled, trying to piece together how I ended up here. The last thing I remembered was.. was.. I couldn’t even grasp it.
“You got into an accident” Alex explained, his voice steady, but I could see the worry etched into his features. “But you’re going to be okay. You just need to rest.”
An accident? My mind raced, and instinctively, I tried to move, only to be met with sharp pain that made me gasp. “What about my injuries? When can I skate again? I have qualifiers for the Olympics soon!” The words tumbled out of my mouth in a frantic rush, driven by a fear that I couldn’t quite place.
Alex’s face twisted in confusion, and he hesitated before answering. “Y/n.. you haven’t skated in years.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I stared at him, my heart pounding in my chest, refusing to believe what he was saying. “What? No.. that’s not true. I.. I’ve been training. You know that.” My voice quivered with desperation.
Alex exchanged a worried glance with the nurse, then looked back at me, his expression pained. “Y/n, You stopped skating when I was a freshman.. I’m a junior now..”
His words echoed in my head, but they didn’t make any sense. UCLA? Sophomore year? It was as if he was speaking a different language. The last memory I had was waiting anxiously to see if he made the Bruins team, both of us so excited about the possibility of him making it big with football.
“No… no, that’s not right,” I muttered, shaking my head as if it would somehow clear the fog that clouded my thoughts. “Did you get onto the Bruins team?” I asked, clinging to the one thing that made sense to me.
“Y/n..” Alex’s voice was gentle, but it carried the weight of the truth I wasn’t ready to accept.
The room spun around me, and I felt like I was being thrown into a different universe. Everything was wrong, nothing made sense. My heart raced, my breathing quickened, and I felt like I was drowning in confusion.
The female nurse stepped forward, her expression calm and professional. “Alex, could I speak with you outside for a moment?” she asked, her tone leaving no room for argument.
Alex squeezed my hand one last time before letting go, his eyes lingering on mine with a look that made my chest tighten. He nodded and followed the nurse out of the room, leaving me alone with the student nurse who had been quietly observing from the side.
I turned my head slightly to look at him, trying to ground myself in something familiar, something stable. “Can someone tell me how long I’ll have to be in here for?” I asked, my voice trembling.
The boy hesitated, looking a bit uncertain. “I’m not too sure, Y/n. We’ll have to wait for one of the staff to give us results first” he said, trying to sound reassuring as he reached out and cupped my hand with his two.
His gesture was kind, but it only added to my confusion. Why was he holding my hand like that? Was he one of those compassionate doctors who went the extra mile for their patients? My mind struggled to make sense of his actions.
“Can’t you ask someone since you work here?” I asked, hoping for some clarity.
He blinked at me, clearly taken aback. “Work here?”
Before I could respond, the door creaked open, and the female nurse reentered the room, followed by Alex. There was a heaviness in the air, a sense of something unspoken. The nurse’s eyes met mine, and I could see the concern etched into her features.
“Ms. Y/l/n” she began, her voice gentle yet serious, “I need to explain something to you. After the accident, you sustained a significant concussion, which has led to a form of memory loss known as post-traumatic amnesia..”
“Amnesia?” I whispered, the word foreign and terrifying on my tongue. My gaze darted between her and Alex, hoping for someone to tell me this was all a mistake.
“Yes” she confirmed softly. “From what we can gather, you seem to have lost your recent memories from about two years ago onward. It’s possible that these memories will return with time, but for now, you’re not going to remember much.”
My world shattered with those words. Two years? How could two whole years of my life just be gone? My breath quickened, and the room began to feel smaller, more suffocating. I glanced at Alex, hoping to find some reassurance, but his expression only mirrored my panic.
“Two years?” I asked again, trying to wrap my mind around it. “What happened in those two years? I don’t remember any of it..” My voice trembled as I spoke, my heart sinking deeper into despair.
“That’s okay, Y/n” Alex said, stepping closer to me. “We’ll figure this out together, okay? I’ll help you remember.”
But something about the way he said it felt off. There was a tension in his voice that made me uneasy. I looked back at the boy who had been holding my hand, trying to place his face in the context of my life, but nothing came to mind.
“Who.. who are you?” I asked hesitantly, turning my attention to him. His expression faltered, a mixture of pain and something else flashing across his features.
“Y/n, it’s me.. Matt” he said, his voice tinged with a sorrow that cut through me like a knife.
I stared at him “I- I don't know who you are..” I didn’t recognize him. I didn’t remember anything about him. It was as if the two years that had vanished had taken him with them.
Before I could say anything else, the tension in the room exploded.
“Okay man I think it’s time you leave” Alex snapped, his eyes narrowing at Matt, his voice dripping with venom. “You have no right to be here, especially after what you did.”
“What I did?” Matt shot back, his voice rising with anger. “You’re the one who’s been sat here lying to her! You cheated on her, Alex! Don’t you dare act like you care about her now.”
The words hung in the air like a death sentence. My head spun, the room tilting as I tried to process what was happening. Cheated? Alex cheated on me?
“You’re full of shit, Matt” Alex retaliated stepping closer to him, their faces inches apart. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’ve been lying to her this entire time!” Matt shouted, his voice cracking with emotion. “You think I don’t know what you’ve done? You think she won’t find out? I won’t let you keep doing this to her.”
“Stop it!” I screamed, my voice cutting through their argument like a knife. Tears streamed down my face as the overwhelming stress consumed me. “Just stop! Both of you, get out! Get out!”
The room fell into a stunned silence. Both Matt and Alex turned to look at me, their expressions a mixture of shock and regret. But I couldn’t take it anymore. The confusion, this talk of betrayal, the loss of my memory - it was too much. I felt like I was drowning, and I needed them to leave before I lost myself completely.
“Please.. just leave.” I begged, my voice barely above a whisper, but firm in its request.
Matt’s face crumpled with pain, but he nodded slowly, backing away toward the door. Alex hesitated, his eyes pleading with me to understand, but I couldn’t even look at him.
One by one, they both left the room, the door closing behind them with a finality that left me feeling utterly alone. The silence that followed was deafening, the emptiness in my heart growing with every passing second.
I collapsed back onto the bed, my body trembling as I sobbed, the weight of everything too much to bear. Two years of my life, gone. The man I thought I loved and a stranger. The man who claimed to love me and a liar. The situation infront of me confused me as to which one was which. The memories I needed to make sense of it all, vanished.
I was lost in a world that no longer felt like my own.
Matt’s POV
I walked out of Y/n’s hospital room, the door clicking shut behind me like a hammer hitting the final nail into a coffin. My heart pounded in my chest, the adrenaline from my argument with Alex still coursing through my veins, but it was nothing compared to the fiery dread settling in my stomach. Every word I’d said to her, every desperate attempt to break through her confusion, seemed to hang in the air like a suffocating fog.
I made my way to the waiting area, my feet heavy, my mind numb. The bright, white lights overhead did nothing to chase away the darkness consuming my thoughts. We approached the row of cold plastic chairs and Alex sat down, his elbows resting on his knees, head buried in his hands. I could feel the tension radiating off him, but I was too consumed by my own torment to care.
I dropped into a chair two seats away from him, the hard plastic pressing against my back, and let my head fall into my hands. My thoughts spiraled, chaotic and disjointed, but always coming back to one image - the moment she was hit.
The screech of tyres. The blinding headlights. The sickening thud as Y/n’s body crumpled under the car’s impact. I could still hear the scream that tore through me as I watched her fly through the air, time slowing to a crawl, helpless to stop it. It played over and over in my mind, each replay more gut wrenching than the last.
I should’ve been faster. I should’ve told her how I really felt. I should’ve… My fists clenched in my hair as I tried to choke down the guilt that threatened to swallow me whole.
What was I even doing on that balcony? Watching her run out of the house, pacing back and forth. I should’ve gone to her instead of just standing there like an idiot, too lost in my own confusion and pain to act. And then when I saw the car coming down the hill, everything in me froze.
"Y/n, get off the road!!" I had shouted, but my voice felt so small, so powerless against the force of what was about to happen. But it's too late.
In a split second, the beam of headlights blinds her. The screeching of tyres fills the air as the car tries to stop, but the impact is inevitable. I watch in horror as the car hits Y/n. The sound of the collision is deafening, and time seems to slow down.
She’s thrown backward, landing hard on the pavement. I can’t breathe, my legs feel like jelly as I race down the stairs, stumbling and pushing through the crowd.
When I finally reach her, my heart is pounding in my chest, my breath coming in short, panicked bursts. I kneel beside her, tears streaming down my face as I try to make sense of the horrific scene before me.
Y/n lays there on the ground, her face contorted in pain, her body not moving. The car speeds away into the night, leaving behind a scene of devastation. The people around us have began to scatter, some calling for an ambulance, others standing in shocked silence.
I gently cradle Y/n's head in my lap, my hands shaking uncontrollably. "Y/n, stay with me" I pleaded, my voice choking with emotion. "Please, stay with me."
She blinks slowly, her eyes meeting mine with a look of pain and resignation. I can see the life fading from her, and it feels like my world is collapsing around me.
The sound of sirens grows louder, and I can hear the distant honking of emergency vehicles approaching. I try to stay strong for her, to keep her conscious until help arrives, but my heart is breaking.
"I’m so sorry" I whisper, tears falling freely. "I’m so sorry for everything."
As the ambulance pulls up, paramedics rush to our side, taking over the situation with practiced efficiency. I’m left standing on the sidelines, my heart shattered as I watch them work to save her. I know that nothing will ever be the same again, and the weight of what just happened is almost too much to bear.
Now she was in that hospital bed, her memories shattered along with my heart. She didn’t even recognize me. My face, my voice - nothing. I was just a stranger to her now, a distant memory from a life she couldn’t even recall.
And then there was Alex. The guy she “loved”, the guy who’d betrayed her. He sat there just a few feet away, but it felt like a canyon stretched between us. I knew he was going to see this as an opportunity to weasel his way back into her life. She didn't remember any of it, him cheating, the way he treated her like an option. And now this was his free pass, to get her back like nothing had ever happened. I wanted to punch him, to scream at him for all the lies he’d fed her, for making this even more unbearable than it already was. But what good would that do? None of it would bring her memories back. None of it would undo the damage that had been done.
I glanced sideways at Alex. He was still in the same position, as if he were trapped in his own private hell. Good. He deserved it. But the satisfaction was fleeting, replaced quickly by a wave of exhaustion and despair.
All I could do was sit there, replaying the accident in my head, the look of panic in Y/n’s eyes as she realized what was happening, the way everything went silent just before impact. It was a moment I knew would haunt me for the rest of my life, one that no amount of apologies or explanations could ever make right.
All I wanted was for her to be okay, to wake up and remember me, remember us. But even that hope felt distant now, buried under the weight of the reality we were in.
I let out a shuddering breath, forcing myself to look away from Alex and focus on the dull hum of the hospital around us. Waiting, that’s all we could do now. Wait and hope for a miracle that seemed less likely with each passing second.
The door in front of us opened, and in came Nick, Madi, Chris & Emily. I had gone to the hospital with Y/n in the ambulance, and the paramedics contacted Alex as he was still down as Y/n’s emergency contact. The news of what happened tore through the party fast, but getting out of the place was hard to do so with the amount of emergency services on scene.
“God Matt is she okay?” Nick asks frantically.
“She’s awake Nick.. she’ll be okay.. But she doesn’t remember anything.”
“Oh thank god she's okay, maybe it’s for the best that she doesn't remember the accident happening.” Nick says, trying to make me feel better.
“No, Nick. She doesn’t remember anything. She doesn’t remember me, she won't remember you, she doesn’t have any memory of the last 2 years at all.” I said, tears outlining my eyes.
Nick stood there with a horrified expression on his face. “You love her don’t you?” Nick whispers, so low that only us can hear.
“More than anything Nick, more than anything I know.”
“Do you think I could go in and see her?” Nick questions.
“If you want, but she’s stressed out at the minute.. Just try your best not to make anything worse.” I say, as Nick nods at me, getting up to gently knock on the door to Y/n’s room.
I take my eyes off Nick and lock eyes with Emily.
“Can we go outside for a minute for some air?” I asked her, knowing I'm about to have a conversation that I should’ve handled differently nights ago.
a/n: sorry.. again..
taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000
#Spotify#snowy speaks#speeding car#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo
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“You can’t have an aneurysm until you give me the money you now owe me.” Peter hums.
okay so thats a quote thingy from chapter 8 because ive been rereading lof for the gazillionth time because i freaking love it so much but did damian ever pay him? cause like srsly this so important i must know
he did and he added more money to it while pretending that was the regular amount cause he got stressed out thinking peter would leave again and be broke af
peter: dude. it was like. $20
dami: no i dont believe so. you have memory problems
peter: this is $200 🤨
#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#leap of faith catch me if you can#leap of faith#peter parker#damian wayne#thank you for the ask!
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so this is how I learn that my obsession is apparently not usual, because I currently have 1003 pages in my history aka 20060 works???!!
For those with AO3, how many pages of history do you have?
I really need to know the answer. I need an average number here. Along with years of use.
Pretty much i want to know if what I have is normal or not.
#worst of all I know that number isn't even accurate bc I've reread some works like 20 times#stats#ao3#like#I think give me another year and I'll actually be in the top ten histories#ive only been on there since 2019!!!
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rereading casual for the nth time and ur so funny ive busted a lung atleast 5 times till now
Casual was like 30% angst, 50% smut and 20% just me thinking lmao you know what could be so funny
#every once in a while i see a casual line and think damn past me had such a good sense of humour#asks#casual
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this au seriously has me in a chokehold because I am constantly writing up ideas in my head about what I'm gonna put in the fic I'm writing for it and I'm so serious- how am I gonna fit all this into one story like GOD
now I know why caged lungs had like 20-50k (? I forgor) words in two chapters dang
I wanna include all the little headcanons people are making for cc!Donnie in it but I need to keep on reminding myself that I gotta slow down because BRO! I'm not a writer this is just a passion project
It'd be a miracle if it was actually readable I'm gonna be messing up their/there/they're a LOT probabaly
I'm just hoping to god I can execute exactly what I wanted to execute in the first place
I wish I knew how to write symbolism correctly since that's your whole thing but I don't think I can put in all that brain power into this.. I'll try but I'll most likely just write pretty
I still have no idea what I'm gonna title it lmao
caged lungs was 54K WORDS LONG!!!! it was ORIGINALLY meant to be a oneshot but ao3's character limit stopped me even though ive SEEN ONESHOTS LONGER THAN THAT,,, im not mad at all about it. have never been mad in my LIFE. better evidence for How Much there is to touch on is the increasing length of these latest chapters LMAOOO dude the final 4 or so might start beating 10k words a piece its crazy
and dude dude dude. you are getting me so excited i cannot wait. mistakes do not matter to me i will eat it UP like a starving man and then reread it like a billion times all the time. anon i am hyped tf up i am vibrating so hard rn
also with titles the easy way out is just going for the song lyric titles like all the cool kids and cc does have a whole playlist to steal from!!! when in doubt just go for crane wives or sleeping at last like i plan to with a lot of my future stuff lmfao
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