#ive only seen a couple of his videos

[technicolorxsn]

man, I feel kinda bad

[aromanticgarbage]

Every day i thank god that Joji left YouTube when he did.

[courtillyy]

i was going to say that stanz releasing this video as im making my way through nl's ultimate chicken horse series is a crazy coincidence. but thats actually a lie bc ive been on my nl arc all fkn year

[oysterie]

SECRET BASE IS THE GUY WHO MADE 17777776 OR WHATEVER.

[sisyphus-hye]

LOVE IS NOTHING PART 2

It had been a couple of weeks since Thomas had seen his cruel girlfriend Wonyoung. Since she told him how she really felt about him and what she did with other men while she was on tour he really didn't know what to do. He was hurt and confused, but something kept him from cutting her out of his life completely. Maybe it was love, or maybe it was just the fear of not being able to find anyone as beautiful as Wonyoung again. She said it herself that it's not love keeping her with him, it's his money and the luxuries he can provide for her.

Ever since the verbal onslaught, Thomas had felt like a shadow of his former self. The days blended into one another in a dull, lifeless haze, as he aimlessly navigated the vast, empty spaces of his penthouse apartment. The once gleaming symbols of his success now only served as stark reminders of his failure to truly capture Wonyoung's heart. Each day grew a little bit worse. Wonyoung gave out his number to the IVE members and they sent messages teasing him about his weakness. One night Gaeul thought it would be funny to send Thomas a video of Wonyoung dancing between guys and behind the thumping bass Thomas could hear Gaeul laughing in the background.

A couple of nights later Thomas received a notification on his phone. It was a video from Wonyoung. He hesitated for a moment, knowing it would only cause him more pain, but his curiosity was stronger. He swiped it open. The screen was filled with Wonyoung's seductive smile, and then it dawned on him, this wasn't going to be a sweet video of her missing him. She was in a hotel room between two other men, they one was kissing her on the neck from behind while the other one was groping her tits from the front. The room was dimly lit with a red light that cast a sleazy glow on her skin. She was wearing a barely there lingerie set that was already pushed aside to expose her nipples. Thomas's heart raced as he watched the scene unfold, feeling a mix of anger, disgust, and arousal.

The men in the video were both tall and muscular, their hands roaming over Wonyoung's body with a possessive confidence that Thomas had never seen from her before. They were both dressed in black, a stark contrast to her nearly naked form, their faces obscured by shadows. She looked directly into the camera and licked her lips, her eyes sparkling with a mischievous glee that sent a shiver down Thomas' spine. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, but he couldn't look away.

Wonyoung began to grind her hips against one of the men, her hands reaching up to caress his chiseled abs. Both men took this as their cue to unbuckle their belt, their pants dropping to the floor to reveal their erect cocks. Thomas felt his own cock twitch in response, a traitorous betrayal to his wounded heart. They were two of the biggest cocks he'd seen in his life, and he could almost feel the weight of his own inadequacy pressing down on him more than usual.

END OF VIDEO 1

START OF VIDEO 2

The second video started with Wonyoung on her knees with both men flanking her, their hands entangled in her hair. She took one of the cocks in her mouth, her cheeks hollowing as she eagerly sucked, while the other man's hand slid down to her pussy. The sound of her wet, exaggerated slurps filled the room, and Thomas could almost taste the bitter bile rising in his throat. Yet, he remained glued to the screen, his hand moving to his own erection despite the anger and disgust swirling within him.

Wonyoung was sucking one of the men's cocks with a fervor that Thomas had never seen from her. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy, her head bobbing up and down as she took the length of him deep into her throat. The man behind her had two fingers inside her, pumping in and out as she moaned around the cock in her mouth. The other man's hand tightened in her hair, guiding her movements as he pushed into her mouth, and she gagged slightly, her eyes watering. The other man took his fingers out of her vagina and put his cock right in her face. Wonyoung knew what this meant, she tried to take both of their massive cocks in her mouth at the same time, but she couldn't, so she began to swap between both cocks, giving each one the same attention. Thomas felt his anger boil over, his hand tightening around his phone until he thought it might shatter.

She started to deepthroat one cock, her eyes watering as she took him all the way down her throat, and then she moved to the other, her tongue swirling around the tip before taking him deep as well. The men groaned in pleasure, their grip on her hair tightening as they fucked her face. Thomas felt like he was going to be sick, but he couldn't stop watching.

"I think it's time to ruin this bitches' holes" one of the men said with a smug tone. Wonyoung looked up at them with a mix of excitement and challenge in her eyes, as if she was begging for them to take her. She knew what Thomas would be feeling right now, and she reveled in the power she had over him.

END OF VIDEO 2

START OF VIDEO 3

The video started with the camera pointed at the bed and what Thomas saw next he couldn't believe. Wonyoung was being double penetrated by both of the men, her body stretched to the limits and her face a mask of pleasure and pain. She was riding one man's cock, her pussy tight around him, while the other fucked her in her ass from behind. Her moans were that of pure ecstasy, the kind of sound that would normally turn Thomas on, but now it only brought him more agony.

Her tits bounced with each thrust, her nipples hard and erect from the rough treatment she was receiving. The man in her pussy grabbed her hips and began to thrust harder, pushing her down onto the cock in her ass, making her scream louder. The man in her ass took her by the neck, holding her in place as he pounded into her with a ferocity that left Thomas feeling sick. He watched as Wonyoung's face contorted in pleasure, her eyes rolling back in her head as she reached climax.

Thomas couldn't do anything but watch this sexual destruction of his girlfriend. The video ended with both men cumming inside her, filling her up to the brim. Wonyoung collapsed on the bed, sweaty and satisfied. She turned to the camera and gave a smug look. "Did you like the show, Thomas?" she asked, her voice husky and full of mock concern. "I hope it was everything you dreamed of and more."

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Worship

a/n I won’t say anything because what is there to say… Also, this is fiction idk why but I just feel the need to wave that flag here.

Summery: Just on stage shenanigans between you, the back singer, and the boys.

warning: no full on smut because there’s so much of that as it is but they are sex on legs so this does have sexual implications. I’m just a girl. And I feel like I should go confess my sins to someone.

All of them x reader

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Nothing truly beats the feeling of the stage lighting beaming on you. The radiant atmosphere and the beating of the crowd in front of the stage. It got addictive fast. And the rush of both adrenaline and freedom you never truly got over. Most of the time, it still felt like a dream. Like you weren’t there. There weren’t four other people. A whole band that people swooned over. 

You still remember the notification of the private message in your DMs. “We’ve seen your videos. The voice is to die for. Up to back us up?” You had stared at it for hours. Pressing the profile over and over again, convinced that one of the times it would take you to some scammy account, but it didn’t. So you took that leap of fate, and the roller coaster that unfolded still made your skin tingle at times. 

“How you don’t break an ankle in these is beyond me," II grumbled, gesturing to the high heels you were strapping around your legs. Before throwing the towel he had just used to dry his hair with, at you. You huffed back, “Of course you wouldn’t know; you sit and look pretty the whole show."  You shot him an overly exaggerated smile before flipping him off. “Put the claws away, baby," he said, lifting his hands up, “I would love to keep my eyes for some time longer." You lifted both of your hands, making sure to flex the black coffin-shaped nails, only earning a chuckle in return from II. 

“No form of violence is allowed backstage," III cut in, putting the mask over his face, “Unless it’s consensual, of course." The three of you snickered. There was never a dull moment with them. You weren’t sure exactly why you imagined them to be all cold and unapproachable, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. From the silly hats they happily took from the fans to messing around on stage barking. “We’re out in thirty,"  IV's voice cut through the snickering. “Vess?”, you questioned, standing up only to still feel tiny among them. It was unfair how even killer heels had you feeling minuter. “In his element, ready to go," the usual then. You turned to the mirror while doing the last checkups. Fiddling with the straps of your dress.

“Headset feels good?”, warm hands slipped up your beck, fidgeting with the wires as if he even knew what he was doing. “You just needed an excuse to put your hands on me, sir," you said, pushing back against IV’s chest. He already had his mask on, but from the way his blue eyes flickered, you knew he was smirking at you. “You can’t call the man guilty if you haven’t caught him red-handed, darling,"  he muttered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “And to my defense, the wire wasn’t plugged in,"  he snickers before pulling back. You shook your head as you watched him follow after the boys out. Reaching for your mask, you take a couple of deep breaths to steady your heartbeat. It was going to be a night to remember. You could just feel it. 

And your gut wasn’t wrong. The crowd was wild tonight, and that always set the bend into a different kind of frenzy. For most of the shows, you were usually up there on your pedestal. Looking like a vision cloaked in both light and darkness, there were some songs that Vessle liked having you down there with him. But you always felt almost guilty. You didn’t want the fans to feel like you were there to change the dynamic. Let alone take up a spot that wasn’t yours to take. 

So when you noticed Vessel striding towards you, you couldn’t help but silently shake your head. They had already all been all over each other all night. But you don’t get to run through all of your reasons as to why this was a bad idea before Vessel was in front of your pedestal. Hands reaching up for your ankles before he pointed for you to get down. You shook your head at him, continuing to sing your part. Not wanting the interaction to seem odd, you sank to your knees so you can touch his face, only realizing how wrong this move was once Vessel's hands grip the sides of your hips and you’re airborne before you can even blink. 

A small shriek slips past your lips as you hold onto his shoulders. But no matter what your reaction to this was, he was all smug about it. His white teeth bright against the black paint covering his body. “I don’t like it when you put on unnecessary fights," he mused before turning back to the crowd. So, you let the thrill of the beat take over. Playing into the role of the masked goddess. A siren. That was the beauty of the mask. Such little thing making the biggest difference. Giving one the chance to feel way more confident. 

And it’s II your legs take you to first. His eyes follow your movements all across the stage. With the drum set taking most of his platform he was sat on, playing games with this man was tricky. But it wasn’t impossible. So you slither behind him. Placing your hand on top of his head, you carefully make him look up at you. That same moment, the heel II was so found off finds its way between his parted legs. Without missing a beat, his face is pressed into your upper thigh, fingers dipping beneath the mesh overlay of your dress. And you know there will be hell to pay later on from the way he’s gripping your ankle. You push his face away from your body, throwing him a lighthearted kiss as you hurry down the platform stairs. The roar of the crowd filling all of your senses. 

III is left to your mercy next. And since his eyes were all over you, you knew that even if you were to walk right past him, he would follow you across the stage. So you stand there, motioning with your fingers for him to come to you. Right as your part of the solo vocals came. Ones that boys even called your siren song. You let the melody pour out of you. Watching III sink to his knees in front of you. Your brain blanks for a moment as he leans forward, and you just know why the crowd erupts in chaos. So your fingers find his head, pulling him even closer. Let him paint the picture of devouring you. Worshipping you. And you’re yet again so thankful for the mask covering your face because you know that your face would be as red as the paint on his skin. Especially after he stands back up. Fingers moved to brush over his lips as if he was cleaning them.

You can feel someone’s eyes burning holes in your body, and you’re not even one bit surprised to see IV with his eyes blazing. He was the one you flirted the most with backstage as well. Since day one, there was just that mutual fire you both shared. So the back and forth between you both was never-ending. But if there was one thing IV avoided, it was making any move towards you while everyone was on stage. And while boys took their sweet time being lunatics when it came to you. His play pretend ended with his bandmates. Yet you didn’t miss the glances he threw your way. Or how he would find himself close to your pedestal, close enough to touch but never leaning in. 

And while your head was telling you that maybe he just didn’t want to get involved, your heart was telling you to take yet another leap of faith. So you two stood in front of each other for a heartbeat. And right as Descending’s you came crawling back to me, filled the stage. Your finger hooked beneath the bottom of his mask as you pulled him closer. No matter the blast of sounds around you, you could still make out the growl that slipped past his lips. And since his eyes promised hell, you threw all caution to the wind as you leaned in, smashing your lips against his. You didn’t let it linger for too long; there was little fun in having two masks between you both, but it got the point across well enough. 

IV’s hand reached for you as you moved back away. A freaked-out giggle slipped past your lips as you darted towards your last victim for the night. Well, and shelter now, considering that you had to get away from IV. Vessel was someone you knew had to be worshipped in front of the fans. You weren’t living under a rock. His hands and fingers had separate fan blogs, not to mention his carved-out chest muscles. So you slipped behind him. Letting your fingers trail the sides of him. Finding the sweat-drenched skin. Dragging your nails over the paint, no doubt leave claw marks in its way. 

You rested your head against Vessel’s beck for a heartbeat, hoping to slip from behind him with ease. But you couldn’t have been more wrong because the moment you took the reassured stride away from him. A firm hand gripped your hair as he carefully, yet rather possessively, dragged you back to him. Pulling your head back so he could look down at you, shaking his head. But the smile gave his controlling demeanor away. “Whatever will we do with you, little Vixen?" You bit your lip, shrugging slightly. Playfully pushing at his chest, you slipped out of his grip. Swaying your hips as you slowly climbed back to the steps of your pedestal. Not letting your brain think of the hell you just set ablaze.

[comikbook]

Im unable to go to school for art, bc my parents cant afford it and my family in general wouldnt be too supportive of it (I live with them)

I dont mind that, I still do art as a hobby, but it kind of hurts. I like what I am in college for actually, but I just love art

Is there a way to better my art while not having the tools art students have? I dont care if its harder, I would just like hope :/

hi !! so i can totally relate to this

i did not grow up with a wealthy family, i got into my highschool (which was a specialty art highschool) thru application. After that, i was kind of lost with art education. I had no money to go to a big art school, so i did community college.

here is what my art looked like in highschool

However, that was kind of a waste. It was pretty much a repeat of what i learned in highschool and to be honest the entire time i was in highschool i didnt improve at ALL. not one bit. This continued into college. In fact i didnt improve at all in college either except for the times i took a gap.

as of this point in the timeline my art looked like this

now i havent been in college now for a couple years, and let me tell you my art has gotten the biggest improvement ive ever seen. Hell i didnt even finish school, I owe money and cant return until i pay it. But honestly ? its hard to find the motivation.

What im getting at is all of my improvement has been done thru my own means. School did not help me improve. And everything you learn in art school can easily be found online via videos and tutorials.

So what made me improve so much out of school ? Honestly ? Passion. I hated being told what to do, I always have. I do not like cookie cutter assignments, boring studies, all of the subjects that are rinsed and repeated every semester. I stopped caring, and during the last bit of time i was in school, I went to my professor. I said I didn’t care, I hated the assignments, I had no desire. You know what she told me ? To ignore them then. She pushed me to make what i WANTED to make, she made assignments specifically for me, she gave me full creative freedom. THATS WHEN I IMMEDIATELY IMPROVED. School isnt what helped me, what helped me is being given an environment where i could be passionate and raw and make art i wanted to make. And you dont need thousands of dollars and a studio to make that happen.

You don’t need those tools. And remember, when it comes to art school, its never the students who are naturally talented or only have technical skill that succeed, its the ones that give a shit. the ones who love art, who love to create, and have a story to tell.

one you realize that it gets so much better.

Anyways, as a last update, heres my art now that im out of school and doing my own thing

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Rated R Video (Chris’ Version) Part One

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Summary: You and chris are dating and you got invited for a special edition car video which slowly turns into chris doing everything you asked for! Chris x Fem Reader!!

Warnings: Cursing, talking of sexual acts, use of Y/N

A/N: here’s a chris version for yall chris girlys!! lemme know how yall like this one!! part 2 will be smutty so :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

me and chris have been dating for a little over a 2 years now, chris was was absolutely perfect in every way known to man, but chris had only had 1 body before me so needless to say he a couple things to learn. his fans knew about us since about 6 months in, and i mean obviously we’ve had sex but it’s not like we’ve shared it with all 6 million of them but matt and chris thought it was a good idea to make a ‘Rated R’ video about all three of them (chris and i being a package deal) and their ‘personal’ life regarding sex mostly… i mean i was down if chris was down and boy ive only ever heard him say yes quicker then when he asked me if i was down to join the video… let’s just say nervous was not even close to what i was feeling.

“IM SITTING NEXT TO Y/N” nick yells across the parking lot of target that the boys suggested on filming in

chris rolls his eyes “she’s MY girlfriend and considering the topic don’t you think i should sit next to her?”

i laugh softly “you guys have assigned seats in the car chris, i’ll sit next to nick, don’t worry”

chris hugs me quickly placing a soft kiss on my head before entering the passenger side of the car sitting next to matt and i sit in the passenger rear seat behind him next to nick. matt sets up the camera and presses record.

“HELLO COOL CATS AND KITTENS” nick jokes

“please never start a video like that again” chris can’t help but laugh

“grumpy.. BUT since we talked about a rated R video you guys absolutely blew up talking about it on tiktok and every other form of social media so you ask and shall receive!” nick starts “BUT today we have a very special and important person in the car today.. shes my version of an ‘IT girl’ and i love her to DEATH… Y/N!” nick continues

“hiiii” i say shyly waving towards the camera

“she’s also my girlfriend nick” chris turns around and looks at nick and i with a smirk

nick brings me into a hug and holding me like a child “you know.. CHRISTOPHER… without me yall wouldn’t even know each other” nick says while petting my head in a joking manner

“okay first off, chris turn around. second nick let go of Y/N she looks like she suffocated by the way your holding her” matt spits but with a smile on his face

“okay tuff guy” nick lets me go and i get readjusted to my seat “so i asked you guys to send me some deep questions for us to answer…let’s just say there’s a LOTTT… so let’s get horny shall we” nick smirks doing a little shimmy with his shoulders.

“never say that again” matt breaths out in between laughs

“do any of you guys own any sex toys” nick says with the straightest face i’ve seen

“Y/N owns a vibrator” chris speaks up for me. i move my arm from my side and give him a light slap on his arm.

“well thank too chris for answering a question for me… might as well tell em the color” i laugh out loud

“AND ITS PINK WITH A LITTLE SPARKLE TO IT” chris yells a little too loud so again i give him another slap on his arm

“that was rhetorical chris…” i say shaking my head smiling

“you know i love Y/N like a sister and all considering she’s gonna marry my brother and all but im not sure how long i can sit through this video” nick says laughing

“matt do you own anything” chris says turning his flashlight on to interrogate him

“it’s just me and my left hand as far as i know” matt says holding up his left hand and moving it a little in a motion of ‘jerking off’

“OKAY NEXT QUESTION” nick stops matt abruptly “deepest sexual fantasies” nick looks up from his phone wiggling his eyes brow’s

“WELL mine would be letting my freak flags fly and go all freaky on my girlfriend” chris says smirking and shimmying in the passenger seat as a blush of embarrassment creeps up on my lips

“Y/N your turn” chris turns around to look at me with a deep stare

“ummm well i uh told chris anything he wanted to try sexually” i cringe “i would be down” i shrug my shoulders

“you don’t have ONE deep dark sexual fantasy in that brain of yours” nick questions

“well i guess to be fully submissive to someone i guess…i don’t know tho” i nervously laugh as i look up and see chris nodding his head and turning around

“matt? go on” chris says slapping matt on the arm

“not gonna lie same as chris but im single so one day” chris lets out a playful scream and attempts to dab up matt before nick places his hand in between the two

“that’s not something to dab someone up for ya freaks” nick laughs out

“NEXT QUESTIONNNN” nick says in a sing songy voice “okay most of these are about chris and matt.. really weird…” nick says almost gagging

“no way let me see” chris snatches the phone from nick “OH MY GOD” chris yells making the entire car jump

“i told you jackass” nick snatches his phone back “OOO OKAY A JUICY ONE… how many times in one night have you done it” nick smiles

chris smiles devilishly “6” he says a little too loud and proud

“UMMM Y/N SIX FUCKING TIMES?!?!” nick says turning to me quickly

“WHATTT… you guys were in boston for 3 weeks.. i’m a woman with needs” i hold my hands up trying to defend myself and laughing

“yeah most i’ve ever done is 3…” matt says smiling at chris “you got me beat by DOUBLED” matt dabs up chris

“chris can you not” i laugh at chris

“sorry ma” he smiles at me softly before chuckling

“okay yeah on THAT note thank you guys for tuning in on this adventure of information that even i didn’t wanna know BYE EVERYONE” nick laughs as matt grabs the camera zooming into chris

“i’m gonna get laid” chris says smirking and i slap his arm AGAIN playfully

“Christopher Owen.. shush” i laugh as matt ends the video clicking the red button on the top of the camera

there was a bit of silence in the car as matt was pulling out of the parking lot that was until nick says the most out of pocket thing he’s said to me since i’ve known him

“you know if Y/N was a vibrator she would be a pink and sparkly one.. so her having one is so Y/N coded” he had the straightest face ever plastered on his face as i burry my face in my hands.

“hey don’t talk about Jennifer like that” chris laughs

“YOU NAMMED YOUR VIBRATOR JENNIFER??” nick snaps his head around to look at me

“chris over sharing is a thing and im pretty sure you have a doctorate degree in it” i say muffled in my hands

matt turns up the radio for the rest of the drive but i hear a ping from my phone as i lift it up unlocking it and noticing chris texted me… why would he text me while being in the same car.

“You won’t be walking for the next week when we get home” chris’ message read and i immediately subconsciously press my thighs together and flip my phone over and turn it downwards trying to hide my blush on my lips.

we arrived at the triplets shared home and i’ve never seen chris get out of the car so quickly and dragging my hand out of the garage.

“we’re so tired so we’re gonna go to bed love ya guys” chris yells while practically running upstairs to our shared bedroom and throwing me on the bed letting a yelp escape my lips.

“i wasn’t kidding Y/N.. you’re gonna count how many times i can make you cum in one night” chris says sternly causing a rush of wetness and heat to my core.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

HERES PART 1 OF RATED R VIDEO CHRIS VERSION!! LEMME KNOW HOW YALL LIKED THIS ONE! i tried to make it different from matt’s but LEMME KNOW! it’s a little

short but i didn’t wanna make it exactly like matt’s version but stay tuned for part 2… she’s a working progress BUTTT she’s SMUTTY

[corviiids]

If i ask nicely, would you consider writing the core of Light and L character like you did for Shuake? (IT'S BRILLIANT BTW!! You're so galazy brain. I love reading any meta or just silly posts you posted here <3) because you mention Light a couple time in Akechi's part and now i need to know your thought on him and L.

(Also, about the death note wip you're cooking right now, is it a oneshot or multiple chapters fic? Im super excited for it!)

i ABSOLUTELY would thank you so much for asking and for your lovely kind words. and im sorry this took me seven years to get to i just kept psyching myself out.

here's the ren & goro post this ask refers to for anyone wondering. the 'core' refers to my answer to a writing meme:

26. What would you describe as OOC? [...] it's the same approach i take to language tbh particularly in pronunciation. once you understand how a language forms its sounds at a base level, you dont struggle with the accent on particular words, and you can encounter words you've never seen before and understand how they're likely to be said/spelled/etc. so once i learn to 'speak' a character they come more naturally. idk if that comparison makes sense to anyone else but it does to meeeee all this to say i think a character is ooc if they do or say something i cant reconcile with that core!

the death note wip is a multichap!! thank you for your interest!!! ill talk about it more once i've stopped tying myself in knots plotting it!! broadly it's a what-if type au which has led me to replot an entire series from scratch dont look at me

anyway lawlight below. i will say ive been really desperately wanting to do like a video essay or something about death note which would be a lot about L and light specifically and how i interpret their characters so ill try and not go toooooo insane in this post but maybe ill go more insane later. in a video. with my human voice.

(edit: i failed i went insane)

light - one-way road to the sky

ok let's talk about one of my favourite scenes of the entire series, which i think is widely not super well understood but honestly to me holds the key to light's entire character. it's right there in volume 1

sorry, the only digital copy ive got on hand is the scanlation. for comparison the official print copy reads:

bubble 1: hey, maki, wanna party tomorrow with some guys from s. college? ten o'clock. bubble 2: yeah, totally! bubble 3: hey, can i go too? bubble 4: my mom isn't here yet? what's that nag doing, geez! light (thinking): damn... light (thinking): start looking around you... light (thinking): and all you see are people the world would be better off without.

this happens within the first 40 pages of the first volume. and it's like. haha hey light what the fuck? this is a totally normal scene in everyday life. people are talking about living their lives. nobody's done anything remotely reprehensible in this scene. and light's just walking through the streets experiencing apparently unprompted and quite extreme misanthropy. what's wrong with him

ok let's have a quick look at the first time we meet light in the anime.

[...]

[...]

cool cool cool im gonna pivot again let's look at the first song (besides the overture) in the musical.

ok rook! we get it! light yagami is out here like damn we live in a society time to kill people about it. this is news to nobody! we all know this!! that's what the series is about! why are we rehashing all of this

great. cool. awesome. let's look at all those scenes one more time. but this time don't look at light. instead let's look at the people around him

in the opening shots of the anime (after the shinigami world, which actually is much the same theme): news of brutal murder is narrated over establishing shots of tokyo. light is shown dead-eyed, going about his ordinary life, surrounded by random other civilians doing the same thing.

in the musical, light isn't angry that murders happen. he's angry about the inaction and complicity of the ordinary people around him.

these scenes aren't highlighting that light thinks crime is bad. we all know crime is bad. the point of these scenes is to contrast light's frustration and fury against the reactions of the people around him. here's what light yagami is seeing: we're surrounded with rot. but nobody's reacting. and then life just goes on. so suddenly all those completely normal scenes of people being concerned with the superficial details of their life aren't just normality, they're complicity. day in, day out. so the world is rotting, and to light, it seems that everyone is completely ok with that. that's just the way things are. and that disgusts and depresses him. on top of than that, it isolates him: he feels like he's the only one who sees or cares about this, that everyone dismisses him as naive, that no one else can be trusted, that everyone else is able to ignore something he sees as inexcusable. this is a sentiment he repeats again and again. it reads as arrogance, and it is, but it's also isolation - after all it's lonely at the top and just as lonely to feel like you're at the top even if you arent

can i talk about the iliad again? is that ok with everyone. im gonna talk about the iliad again

in book 1 of the iliad, the commander of the greek army insults achilles by publicly and unlawfully taking a prize (the girl briseis) who rightfully belonged to achilles. achilles reacts by withdrawing his troops from the army, dooming the greeks' campaign. achilles had a lot of friends in the army, so why would he essentially sentence them all to death for something that only agamemnon did? well, (because agamemnon did something publicly that everyone knew was wrong, and yet nobody was willing (or at least able) to stand up for achilles and stop it from happening. achilles, disgusted by the inaction of the bystanders, turned his back on all of them. fun fact i nearly wrote a mini thesis (an academic one not just a long post on tumblr) about the intersection btwn this book of the iliad and legal theory but law+classics is such a niche interdisciplinary field my professor couldnt find anyone who could supervise me so i couldnt do it. anyway that's not the point

is this right or fair? who cares, not the point. what im interested in is what that kind of behaviour says about the individual. light, like achilles, is a highly idealistic person. we all know that in the abstract, but take a second to really really dig into it, because it's actually quite an interesting fact about a character who is popularly understood as being cold and unfeeling or flatly psychotic and on a power trip. idealism isn't naivety, it's not optimism, it's not even really a happy thing. idealism is simply a firm belief in the way things should be at the cost of refusing or being unable to accept what is.

this is the core of light yagami to me. light doesn't become kira because he's cold or destructive or crazy. he doesn't actually even do it because he's spiteful or misanthropic. it's very much the opposite. he's misanthropic because he believes in the world so much. isn't that a great contradiction! ok here i'll show you some proof.

in an early scene (also in volume 1), light describes himself as an optimist and ryuk finds that interesting.

so light is an optimist. he believes in a bright future for humanity. he wants to protect humanity. he likes humanity. no, he doesn't believe that people are inherently good, but he does believe in some goodness as a part of humanity and wants to protect the best of people, in an egotistical way:

how do we reconcile that with a young man who walks through the streets listening to completely ordinary conversations by ordinary people and reacts by wishing death on everyone talking?

let's split out what's going on here. remember what's happening in light's head. light yagami is 17 years old. he grew up with a police chief for a father (in a fictional world where the police are the literary stand-in for law as justice so just pretend for a second that police are good im sorry), watching his father work tirelessly to fight crime - but crime continues, making this an endless, thankless task. and while crime continues, so does the world around him. every day light sees atrocities on the news, and he sees atrocities brought home, and then he lives his ordinary life and watches the people around him apparently not give a shit, only concerned with the petty details of their own little lives. bystanders watching wrong happen, selfishly unaffected. day in, day out. that idealism is getting colder the longer this unendurable injustice goes on. so achilles condemns his friends to death.

what human trait is being exhibited? realistically it's helplessness. would being miserable about crime help to end crime? of course not. people have to go on with their lives, that's a fact, it's even a strength. even light begins the series completely unable to do a thing about the rot he sees around him, which is part of why he's so depressed. but that's not what light is seeing. light is seeing ordinary people appear to choose not to give a fuck about injustice. the thing that's sparking his disgust is apathy, real or apparent. light yagami is an idealist. he wants a better future - a utopia that only he can imagine - something that can only happen if either everyone becomes as good as he is, or he takes control.

if you leave an idealist in an unwinnable situation for too long, their pure belief will start to curdle. it will not turn to realism. they will not accept what is. they will only become more and more bitter that what should be, isn't. they will become a cynicist. this is really the heart of my argument and ive made it a million times and ill make it again. idealism and cynicism are not opposites, they're not even two sides of a coin. they are two points on the same line which moves very quickly in only one direction. this is where i start when im writing him: how do i make someone who believes so hard that it's killing him? someone who believes so hard it makes him believe in nothing?

then we find the third point on that line, which someone can reach by gaining sudden power - for example, a magic notebook that kills people: radicalisation.

how do we reconcile his desire to protect humanity with the fact that what he's trying to protect against is also humanity? how can i say light loves humanity when he has such disdain for them? easy peasy: light sees himself as the messiah. my bumper sticker that says ask me about light's martyr complex PLEASE ask me about light's martyr complex i wrote a song about it ask me about light seeing himself as the sacrificial lamb on the (and then the bumper sticker cuts off)

light loves humanity the way a twisted shepherd might love his sheep. something to be protected, but something beneath you that can't be trusted to know what's best for them. humanity is something he loves because it's endearingly pathetic, something to pity and save. repeatedly he refers to becoming kira as a personal sacrifice, something that costs him his soul but that he has to do. it's a delusion of grandeur driven by dual purposes of ego and some desperate wish to change a status quo he's been despairing about for years.

tl;dr: light believes with all his soul in something he thinks is impossible, and it's killing him slowly, and then a chance to change the world just falls out of the sky

L - isolate yourself until you can make believe it's just a game

steeples fingers. i have Things to Say about L Lawliet.

ok listen. listen. Listen. listen. are you listening? listen. in general i think people kind of misunderstand characters who are hyper-intellectual and/or behave unconventionally in social settings. you're all going to fucking kill me for this but i think there's a tendency to like... accidentally turn any character who falls vaguely in this broad category into sheldon cooper. god im sorry i feel like i just shot everyone's collective dog

specifically what i mean by that is that 'awkward' gets flanderised in a way that eventually becomes a caricature of itself, because there is so much nuance to actual social awkwardness that it's very easy to kind of pick a template and stick to it without really thinking about what makes that character 'awkward' and what the root and type of awkwardness is, unique to them. so instead we just get, like... generic big word user. generic driven by logic and logic alone guy. generic guy who doesn't Do Well with other people, for Smart Reasons.

here's a list of true things about L which i think are safe to say are uncontroversial

intuitive

logical, master of deductive reasoning

competitive

behaves in an odd way that draws attention

is aware of that fact

focuses extremely hard on his cases and only cares about being a detective not anything else

isolates himself and doesn't like talking to people partly for his own safety partly because it's boring to him

here are things i have seen in characterisation of L which i would like to dispute

makes decisions and draws conclusions based solely on logic and evidence

doesn't understand social cues

here's a list of alternate interpretations which i would like to propose and that i am willing to back up with evidence and/or by physically fighting over them

is driven primarily not by logic or evidence, but by incredible intuition which is supported by logic and evidence when it suits him

has a keen understanding of people, interpersonal relationships, and social norms

leverages that understanding frequently to his benefit

feels that he is not capable of / not a part of emotions that he sees as being typically human (see his speech about being a monster)

and yet in an abstract and self-contradictory and low-priority way still kind of desires connection, leaving him emotionally isolated

chooses to behave oddly on purpose, not because he doesn't realise he's behaving oddly, but because it is not a priority for him

those might seem like fine distinctions at some points, but stray slightly off the mark and his characterisation begins to vary wildly. for example, interpret L as being bemused or unaware of social cues, and one possible characterisation that may stem from that understanding (which i have seen) is that L doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes - which is demonstrably untrue. L demonstrates weak social skills because social skills aren't a priority for him, not because he doesn't understand social norms. after all he does a reasonably convincing 'i am a normal dudeguy' voice on at least two occasions (suzuki the information line guy and asahi the calling matsuda for drinks guy). even with the taskforce, when his behaviour is more of his usual bizarre self, he still makes the effort to treat them respectfully and meet them where they are, explaining himself when they ask, chatting with them, holding ordinary conversations. you can read this any number of ways but my point is that he can do all of this with relatively little struggle

it's also very much not the case that L doesn't have feelings or care about other people. he's ruthless and he's cool with causing people to die if he has to, but he reacts with visible distress to the deaths of the FBI agents, to ukita's death, to the prospect of other members of the taskforce dying. he does care, he's just not morally driven as a priority.

ok but if he can cosplay as Normal Dudeguy with no trouble then why doesn't he. why does he conduct all his business in dark rooms apart from the entire world forever. is it gauche to use a section of my own fic to explain my point? im going to do it anyway

It is easy to identify in Light what he has long known in himself. That little pearl of disruption, grown around an irritating grain of something just unique and tremendous enough to be uncomfortable to the more ordinary around them. L has hidden it by hiding himself. Light has hidden it by hiding within himself. L's black letter is to Light’s vapid smile is to Kira's invisible bullet.

(honestly a lot of what i have discussed here is also covered in this fic so in case this fucking three thousand word essay is not enough for you you can go read that.)

something L and light significantly have in common is that their intellect and unique way of thinking really set them apart from everyone in the world, which is incredibly isolating. but while L has the 'benefit' (arguably could be a detriment but i think he sees it as a benefit) of a unique upbringing which allows him to use his skills to their full extent without worrying about really anything else, light is very much trapped by social convention. while light's life is privileged and materially perfect, he's stuck inside what society expects of him, while L is able to exist completely outside that paradigm. the result is that light has retreated within himself and spends all day playing a part, barely tolerating the monotony and apathy of the world around him by mechanically performing as expected while smothering the part of him that never has an opportunity to truly come out until kira. L, on the other hand, has no reason to put up with a society that is, for lack of a better term, really just beneath him. so he retreats. remember that the first volume/chapter of the manga is called 'boredom'.

you can see that even in his comparatively limited interactions with the task force, he is having to exercise a level of patience to explain to them what he's thinking at every stage, to have to defend his methods, his instincts, his decisions, etc, needing to step through every stage of his reasoning so that the others can follow and won't object. this is NOT just about masking his odd behaviour, it's also very much about having to step through his morals and his process, which is second nature to him but is new to everyone else and needs explaining. it is visibly exhausting to him, and this is with people he actually seems to like well enough. eg during yotsuba arc when light and soichiro keep raising moral concerns, and he has those little "here we go again" moments (which i love SO much and are so telling of him to me) even though he doesn't let his frustration show. which is why he usually does not bother with it and prefers to work alone. he sits the way he does even though he knows it's odd, because he feels he need to sit that way. when light calls it out, he doesn't question that people will think he's strange, so he's clearly aware. he just explains himself.

but if he were out with people on the regular, he'd need to defend himself constantly. the things L does are not conventional. yes the sitting is just an oddity of his so it's a good example, but it's not just the things that are odd that cause a problem: he frequently makes decisions which seem to make massive leaps of logic nobody else (except light) can follow, and often his actions are morally questionable or even reprehensible. all that is because L is extremely pragmatic and results-focused. it kind of doesn't matter to him how he gets from A to B as long as he gets to B. but the way his mind works is that he makes big jumps that make perfect sense to him but would draw curiosity or objection from anyone who doesn't think the way he does. it would be absolutely exhausting to have to constantly defend every strange or questionable thing he did, so he just retreats.

when he works with other people, i think it's worth noting that the team dynamic never actually struggles for L's awkwardness. this is something i really like about death note honestly - L is quirky and strange, but the series doesn't do that thing where it's like He's A Genius Of Course He's Rude To Everyone. he's actually not. for the most part, L is courteous, patient, and polite. he's sometimes blunt or abrupt, but he very rarely does the thing where he's obliviously cruel or brushes people off. he's considerate of people's needs, he's visibly compassionate of other people's emotional difficulties, and he very rarely loses his patience. when matsuda tries to tell the locked-up light about kira resuming activity, L snaps "Matsuda!" to stop him, and then immediately corrects himself to go "I mean, Matsuda-san." it would have been really easy for the series to do that tropey shit where he's so smart that he doesn't bother with politeness, but he factually does. he makes the effort to treat people politely even when he's not actually being kind. when he's asked to explain himself, the reader can see he's tired and annoyed, but he doesn't take it out on people. on the odd occasion he does make fun of someone for being slow, he does so in mostly light-hearted ways. so he is very capable of dealing with other people directly. his lack of social skills aren't for lack of understanding. he just can't be bothered. it's a waste of energy to try and behave 'normally' or to do things that other people find acceptable, whether that's due to social norm or common morality. it is so, so much easier for L to do things alone. without the need to explain or defend his behaviour to anyone, his isolation turns real world problems into something almost purely theoretical. so it really is like a game for him, at least at first.

whatever

i think it's really important for a character like L to not be fooled by the surface-level categorisation of 'smart awkward character'. we really need to find what's driving his awkwardness. it's not ignorance, it's not even really disdain, it's exasperation. he's tired of being surrounded by people who just can't keep up with him, and he does not have enough energy or interest to spend his time handholding everyone through his process, so he just does whatever the hell he wants and avoids people as much as possible so he doesn't have to deal with it.

look i know this is a really long way to say stuff that people mostly already know, but i think L is one of the most finely nuanced characters in the series because he looks like such a simple expression of a known archetype and the ways in which he subverts expectations are so granular that it's easy to completely miss them even while appreciating how interesting he is. the way this translates into how i write him is that he's polite and has a lot of patience until he simply doesn't, at which point he'll inwardly or subtly express that he wishes he didn't have to bother with this shit, that he picks up on fine social and emotional details that other people will totally miss, but that he'll always put his own whims and plans before anything else.

tl;dr: L behaves like someone who is constantly moving at his own pace and for whom dealing with people is rarely worth the effort, but this does not make him inept or unkind.

[thebroccolination]

KRIST, FAME, AND WHY "YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS" DOESN'T EXONERATE THE BEHAVIOR OF THE PUBLIC

Lindsay Ellis uploaded this video to YouTube framed around the myth that Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles. It's phenomenal, as her work often is. I'll probably watch the whole thing multiple times in the near future.

Toward the end of the video, Lindsay expands on the morbid paradox of fame. Many of us see it as this aspirational thing that famous people should be grateful to have, and yet we're also aware that the circumstances of being famous often lead to tragic ends for celebrities, either by violence or by their own self-destruction.

Over the past week, I made this thread to explain the events that led to Krist putting his foot down after months of trying to placate the segment of KristSingto fans who are vocally opposed to Krist sharing any part of his continued close friendship with Gawin, Krist's costar from his 2023 BL series "Be My Favorite."

The day he started his break from social media, Krist addressed his fans about what he'd been dealing with very clearly and characteristically sincerely. He expressed his confusion, explained the impossible situation this unreasonable portion of his fanbase had put him in, and ultimately just gave the vibe of a very tired teacher. Coupled with the reality that Krist's fanbase is on average much older than he is, it's a little absurd that a twenty-eight-year-old had to tell a fair number of middle-aged, tax-paying adults that he's allowed to have friends.

Krist concluded his TikTok Live only to be tagged in even more abuse and complaints on Twitter. I saw some of it and didn't bother saving receipts, but you can imagine it. You're hurting your comeback with Singto by posting Gawin's photos, Krist. This comeback isn't going well, Krist, and it's your fault. You're supposed to be loyal to Singto, Krist. You abandoned Singto at the outing, Krist. If you hate it here so much then just go back to Gawin, then. Don't you feel guilty for ruining Gawin's career, too? He must be good in bed for you to come to his defense like this.

Oh, wait, I did save that one.

Presumably sensing that he had done everything he possibly could, Krist addressed fans one last time on his Instagram Broadcast channel.

Let no one misinterpret this: Krist left social media mainly and specifically because some Peraya were viscerally outraged that Krist didn't cast Gawin aside and spend 100% of his time adhered to Singto. Even though Krist is the one who wanted the comeback, a significant number of Peraya seem to think he's not trying hard enough.

"Not trying hard enough" even though he was so obsessed with getting Peraya Party right that he made himself sick.

This tweet was when he admitted himself for an IV to keep himself healthy, and then he ended up getting admitted anyway for almost a week. During which time he continued working on the concert from his iPad, messaging staff and Singto who continued with rehearsals.

"Not trying hard enough" isn't something Krist knows how to do. He's a self-professed perfectionist who identified so strongly with the character of Anxiety in "Inside Out 2" that he posted about her on his Facebook seven different times. He has an Anxiety plush. He even tweeted about the anxiety attack scene when he visited Beijing for work.

Krist has spoken about his experiences with depression. He moved back home in 2022 to be with his parents at the suggestion of his psychiatrist, the fourth he'd seen.

It's widely known that Krist hates being alone. Singto recently said it's something that concerns him, that Krist has someone or other at his house most of the time because he doesn't want to be on his own. Just last year Krist said his favorite thing about his four cats is that they're with him always, whereas people eventually have to go their own homes.

Rather than close himself off, however, Krist has remained a phenomenally open and affectionate person. He treats his fans like friends. (The ones who aren't trying to control his life.) He took the time to address fans twice in text and in video.

And yet, as soon as Krist stepped away from the helm of his own narrative, some fans were horrified by the idea that Krist might be mad at them. Others began to twist his words and intentions to suit a more palatable narrative. This wasn't about Gawin, no. He did it for Singto.

And while, yes, Krist did also make it clear that he won't tolerate people trash-talking one of his favorite people, this was about Krist.

It wasn't only about Singto or Gawin. This was Krist facing down fans who have relentlessly demanded more than he could have or even should have ever reasonably done for them.

It's a special kind of horrifying to me that fans are misrepresenting Krist when Krist clearly said as recently as last October that what hurts him most is being misrepresented.

I spoke with some Peraya in DMs about this whole mess.

A few said they have no issue with Gawin, they're only envious of the closeness he has with Krist. They're both musicians and singers, and they're both people-shaped emotions who went through hell together during all the "lol who asked for this pairing" and "ew I'm not watching the homophobe show" nonsense.

Others said Krist is behaving childishly and that he should just ignore everyone.

After all, all of this comes with the territory of being famous. It's normal. He shouldn't overreact. He's taken the wife role. He should be cute and soft and sweet at all times.

When I posted my thread about this, some were underwhelmed by the informational tone and had hoped it would be more of a call-out. Thing is, I'd already criticized that portion of the Peraya fandom:

It's frankly beyond my comprehension how Krist has made it this far as stable and as kind as he is. He was bashed by homophobes for starring in SOTUS in 2016, then stalked at his university by fans who disapproved of him having a girlfriend since he belonged to Singto, harassed about his sexuality until he snapped, vilified by international fans who showed up late to the party in 2020 and made everything a thousand times worse by not bothering to fact-check anything they were seeing, tormented off social media, put through four different psychiatrists, lost the partner he'd been through all of this with, found a new one, lost him, and gained his original partner back only for fans to demand more from him.

And the thing is, I don't want to say all of this on Twitter because it's becoming more and more of a noxious hellscape with every passing day, and the people who need to embrace this aren't going to read it. But I did want to say it somewhere.

Watching Lindsay's video, I felt such a bolt of fear. He's just been pushed so far, and fame isn't what destroys: it's people.

So I'm so proud of him for handling this with composure and strength. I'm proud of him for keeping the promise he made to Gawin in October last year at his solo concert, that nothing would change between them.

One of my Gawin fan friends said it best: Krist was the first person to see Gawin's potential and then show the world. He featured Gawin in his own solo concert, he mentored him through promotion, he opened up to Gawin about his life and his thoughts. He would never cast Gawin aside, and the fact that people are still trying to hand-wave how important Gawin is to him is maddening.

He loves Singto. He also loves Gawin. One doesn't cheapen the other. He loves a lot of people. That's who Krist is.

The idea that Krist should be cute and demure and ignore constant harassment he can't avoid because he needs to use social media for work is so unimaginably cruel I can't fathom how it could even transform from an idea to a real belief. Whether you like it or not, he's standing up for himself now.

Being famous eases some things and barbs others. You'll get free stuff and fans who admire you, but you may also get a deterioration of your mental health and fans who feel entitled to your body, soul, and mind.

You tell 'em, sweetie.

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb I hope you are doing well! I'm hoping that you are resting, cause I know it's a busy week💓

I had some questionssss and I remembered the question I forgot in my last ask

1.are there any younger female idols who have expressed their admiration towards hima?

2. Since hima is short and mingi is BIG how large is their size difference in perspective?

3. I was wondering if hima wore a swimsuit top during the water bomb festivals and did she have any iconic moments from that festival?

4.is there any other brand that hima is a solo ambassador for other than versace?

5.if you had to describe hima's personality as another idol who would this idol be?

6.Have the ateez members ever been annoyed by the completely innocent sounds mingri let out? And have they called them out for that?

Ily bb take care of yourself mwahh 💓💓

Hi sweet! 🥰 Sorry this took so long I was on a bit of a writer's block 🤧 I'm also unfortunately still sick but I actually have a lot of motivation to write now! Again don't feel bad about sending me so many asks, seeing a notification next to my inbox is one of the best parts of my day

• XG members have been quite vocal about their admiration towards their senior due to her incredible range - from heart wrenching ballads to powerful raps - and have actually met her several times during award shows (only to gush about it later)

BABYMONSTER members have met Himari while they were still trainees and were amazed at the fact that YG Entertainment brought her in as the only mentor due to her ability to take care of every aspect of their training; vocals, rap & dance. To this day they continue to develop in part by watching videos of her

IVE's Wonyoung looks up to the vocalist's strength of character, even more so now that she has begun speaking out about the unfairness of this industry, the mental health challenges, the mistreatment, etc. The vocalist has also worked extremely hard to master many aspects of performance, which serves as an inspiration to her

• Height comparison websites have her barely coming up to the crook of Mingi's neck, however something else makes their size difference so impressive because this man is WIDE while Himari doesn't have much muscle mass. If Mingi wanted to wrap around her waist completely, he would need little less than 1 hand and a half

• Hima wore the black 'Greca Border Bikini Top' from Versace, a cropped white long sleeve shirt (which quickly became soaked) and very low waisted pants with the 'Greca Border Bikini Bottoms' showing

While Jongho was being all cute and watering their little Atiny plants, this absolute menace was body rolling just a few steps away and motioning for their fans to throw more water at her (think Mingi...but female version)

This event was also one of the first times that the couple was seen being somewhat intimate with each other since she came over to her boyfriend, pressed her back to his chest and began to dance on him (more like grinding-)

After drinking from one of the plastic water bottles - which looked more like a whole kiss than a simple sip - she teased one of the fans in the front before motioning her forward and carefully dripping some water onto her head

A sensual 'The Real' dance break...that's all I can say, she even had a fake lip piercing for this performance and it was the first time Atiny got a glimpse of the spine tattoo (the tape put over it slipped slightly because it got too wet)

• There was actually a brand that recently lost any possibility of an ambassadorship (you'll find out soon dw). Calvin Klein is slowly attempting to reel her in. Surprisingly enough she's an ambassador for Porsche, Saint Laurent and Cartier

• Jimin! At first Hima was very similar to Yeosang in the sense that she was shy, wouldn't speak as much, and was somewhat naive (still is) but as she opened up more her personality grew to almost mirror Jimin's

• They deeply respect their members so when they're intimate with one another they make sure that most if not all members are out or somewhere unlikely to hear them (in part why they got the airbnb during the group's break). There's been very few instances when they were heard (usually in the changing rooms after concerts) but since it rarely happens no one has called them out on it

Ily too!! I hope your post exam break is relaxing and that you're taking care of yourself, mwahhh!! 😘❤️

[clowningaroundmars]

morales twins hcs

i'm absolutely in love with the idea of miles42 and miles1610 being twins, i'm so glad most of the fandom has basically adopted 42 lmao

some of my own twins headcanons, just random stuff to add onto other ppls hcs ive seen:

☆ 42 loves his mamí absolutely but def acts the most like his dad, and haaaates when anyone points it out. it's the most obvious when 42 gets mad, he sounds EXACTLY like his father then lol

☆ in fact, the twins polar opposite personalities is probs bc 1610 takes after his mom's temperament more, while 42 is as stoic, stubborn and slightly dorky as his dad is

☆ whenever the boys made each other cry (by accident or otherwise) they did the typical little kid thing and tried immediately comforting the other. now that they're older 1610 handles his emotions better and is mature when talking about them, but 42 is the one who comforts 1610 more often

more below ↓

☆ as well as staying on top of his academics, 42 also plays basketball and trains in a couple martial arts studios after school. 1610 is taller than 42 bc of the spider bite but 42 has always been slightly bigger and more muscular than 1610 since he's the athlete. whenever the family attends 42's boxing matches, jeff gets an overwhelming sense of deja vu from back when he attended his own brother's matches before

☆ they both got thru school p okay, not many incidents of bullying mostly bc if anyone did try, 42 would put a stop to that nonsense immediately. 42 loves his bro with his whole heart and was glad to pick a fight with anyone who gave him any trouble at all. the whole neighborhood knew it too bc the only person allowed to bully 1610 is 42 himself!

☆ in fact, 42 doesn't win the lottery to enter visions in the first place, which saddened both brothers when they found out. so because they're at separate schools now, 42 makes sure his twin knows that if any fuckery is afoot at visions that he'd be more than happy to roll up and dogwalk any fool who tries it. 1610 laughs him off but knows his bro has got his back for sure

☆ 42 likes to pretend 1610 is the nerdy one, but they are both very big anime and manga nerds. every time they hit up any bookstore, they both make a beeline for the manga section and argue over who's gonna read the newest one first (they have to share cuz those books cost some moneeyyyy, man)

☆ 1610 and 42 love their uncle to pieces, OFC. they both pick up separate traits from him, even. 42 was inspired to start martial arts and boxing from watching videos on old digital cameras that aaron hung onto thru the years. they were of a much younger aaron back in his boxing days, when his family went to his matches and recorded them from the seats. 1610 was inspired to pick up graffiti and then even started doodling in notebooks bc of aaron

☆ 1610 is def the social butterfly and easily the most popular kid on the block by virtue of how friendly and outgoing he is. 42 is more introverted and keeps a small circle of friends, but everyone is cool with him nonetheless since they fuck with his twin bro

☆ since 42 stays at home the most (lol he a homebody) he picks up cooking much better than 1610 thanks to him staying in the kitchen to help his mom make dinner while they watch telenovelas together. 42 also knows how to dance bachata and salsa much better than 1610 too

☆ both twins love physics and math but 42 is more hardware-inclined. 1610 is about software, data, and formulas. 42 is good at taking things apart, putting things together, building and engineering. he kinda takes after his uncle aaron that way, and drove his parents nuts as a lil kid when he got his hands on radios, computers, clocks, etc

☆ 1610 loves softer brighter music like JID, steve lacy, smino, frank ocean, kid cudi, post malone, and nujabes. 42 is always bumping harder shit like pop smoke, waka flocka, zillakami, three 6 mafia, benny the butcher and some oldies like paul wall, wu tang clan, biggie smalls, MF DOOM and big KRIT. they tease each other's music tastes a lot since they're polar opposites in almost every way

☆ they actually have a shared playlist where they add new music they like (probs on some e-1610 spotify or soundcloud equivalent since everything is slightly skewed on e-1610 tbh). both of them check it periodically, and 42 is the more frequent contributor

☆ they both make art but 1610 is the artsier kid for sure. 42 doodles occasionally but he's not as enthusiastic about it as his twin is. they both go around the city tagging walls whenever they have any free time, though. 1610 loves colors, expressive styles and is good at coming up with cool ways to draw text. 42's lines, accuracy and technical skill can never be beat

☆ 1610 has superpowers, sure, but his fighting skills are trash! 42 was always the scrappy one, not 1610, so he shows his twin how to properly throw punches and other useful fighting knowledge. it def comes in handy in the future

☆ jeff loves his sons to death but he often finds himself butting heads the most with 42 since they're so similar, it kinda drives them both nuts. it def gets worse once aaron starts gossiping abt what jeff used to be like when they were kids, giving 42 plenty of ammo. they love each other but their relationship is just as complicated as it is between jeff and 1610, and 42 would be lying if he said he wasn't affected by the rift between his dad and uncle himself

☆ the minute the twins turn 16, 42 goes out and gets his drivers license on the first try (computer quiz AND road test aced) and rubs it in 1610's face almost constantly. 1610 likes to throw back that there's no parking space for another car on their block, so he can't even get his own car even if he wanted to anyways

☆ whenever the boys really fight, the whole city seems to know. they squabble a lot obvi, they're brothers. but the very few times they've given each other the silent treatment like for real, everyone in the family tries to get them to make up since it's unsettling to see two peas in a pod be so hostile with each other

☆ and since they've always been attached at the hip, 1610 being enrolled into visions felt. weird. everyone thought 1610 was gonna take it the hardest but surprisingly 42 had a harder time adjusting since he always saw his bro in the hallways at school, and was so used to him knowing the latest gossip of anybody in their grade. without 1610 around as often, 42 becomes even more withdrawn than usual

rio looks up from the pot suddenly, glancing at the time. dinner was almost ready and she… hadn't seen not hide nor tail of her son this evening. he returned home from school a couple hours earlier, choosing to skip going to his boxing class to shut himself in his room.

fine. teenagers can be moody sometimes and rio would rather keep her moody son at home where she can keep an eye on him, rather than worry about what he's getting up to on the streets.

strange thing is, though... rio hadn't heard a single noise come out of that room all night. 42 usually liked to have at least some music playing, maybe video game noises out of his nintendo... oh, what was it called again? whatever, that nintendo thing he played on sometimes.

rio placed the lid on the pot and lowered the flame a bit before making her way over to her twin sons' bedroom door, hesitating a bit when she noticed no light was filtering out from the bottom either. okay... that was weird, too. neither of her sons ever went to bed before dinner. ever.

the one time rio dared to try and send her sons to bed without dinner years ago-- as punishment for fighting right there in the kitchen that time-- both twins hollered so loud they got concerned knocks on their front door from various different neighbors. never again, rio remembered thinking that time.

now, the bedroom door stands oddly quiet and completely hollow without any signs of life behind it. rio knocked anyways, hoping against hope itself that 42 didn't go ahead and sneak out of the house without her knowledge. if he did sneak out, he's grounded for 3 months, rio thinks to herself mostly as reassurance. she nervously picks at a nail and strains to hear anything behind the wood.

she thinks she hears a groan and decides to try her luck by slowly opening the door. hopefully he's not in there... y'know, doing teenage boy things, either. dios mío.

rio swings the door open to...

...a completely pitch-black room, save for the sliver of streetlight filtering in past a crack in the window curtains and casting an eerie yellow glow on anything it could touch. it is cold, and also deathly quiet.

rio is shocked.

she walks over to the right side of the room where 42's bed is pushed up against the corner, next to the windows. on that bed lies a big lump, buried under several layers of blankets. the lump stirs.

rio crosses her arms. "mijo, mi amor. are you sleeping? …pero qué te pasa, papí?"¹

42 rolls onto his back and glares sleepily at his concerned mother standing at his bedside. it's dark in the room, but rio's face is illuminated by the living room lights pouring in from the open door. she's wearing a tilted smile, but coupled with the worry lines on her forehead, it isn't fooling anyone.

42 slowly closes his eyes, chin still under the covers, and lets out the most world-weary sigh rio has ever heard coming out of someone as young as him. if it weren't coming from her own son, she might have even laughed.

she immediately sits down, lifting the cover off of 42's chin to check his temperature all over his face. he tries to wriggle away.

"maaaaaa, stop..." he grumbles, trying to pull the covers up higher over his head. "'m not sick, mamí, forreal… chill."

rio leans on a hand. "¿si no 'ta enfermó pues qué es?² what's wrong?"

42 doesn't answer for a bit and rio exhales through her nose. " 'moré, what are you doing in this pitch-black room all by yourself? no light, no music, no nothing. what's wrong? you look like you're on a death bed!"

42 finally opens his eyes again, and blinks a few times as he says, "nothing, ma. seriously, i'm just... tired. that's all. i'm fine."

"you don't look 'fine' 42, you look like 2 seconds away from flatlining."

another sigh from the boy. rio rolls her eyes and places her hand on his forehead again, then strokes his cheek.

"is it 1610? hmm?" rio asks 42. she asks so unbelievably gently, as if by only mentioning his brother's name she would shatter something in the room. a mirror or something.

42's heart clenches at the love and care his mother is showing around this particular topic. it was true, and he couldn't even deny it. having 1610 in the house less and less every week, not seeing him in the hallways at their local high school, receiving sparser and shorter replies to his texts... it was all building up in his chest and the dam was pretty close to bursting. especially now as his mom was lovingly stroking his cheek as she checked in with him. how embarassing. rio wouldn't see him cry, not right now. he closed his eyes and willed the tears away, for her sake.

miraculously, 42's voice didn't crack or waver when he said, "yeah. yeah, i miss 'im."

rio crooned something saccharine in spanish and placed a kiss on her son's forehead. she saw right through his cold tough guy act, as expected. with how much of a mama's boy 42 was, it would've been impossible not to. they spent way too much time together for her to miss how he dragged his feet getting ready for school in the mornings, how he's been skipping martial arts and basketball practice more often lately, and how unenthusiastic he's been in general.

rio chuckles as she lays her cheek on 42's forehead for a second before sitting back up. "ay, bendito. 42, you know your brother is just down a few blocks from here. why don't you go visit him soon?"

42 shuffles under the covers. he's unsure if he should even admit this, but he proceeds anyways. "uhm. he's not answering my texts lately, so." he feels strangely guilty about this, like he just snitched on his twin somehow even though he has no reason to suspect that at all.

rio sighs and looks off into the distance, bracing herself for what she's about to say. she looks back down. "yeah. i know. he doesn't answer mine, either. i was hoping he was talking to you, but... well. "

something in 42 stirs a bit. "i bet he thinks he's in some fancy private school, around rich kids, now he's too good for us," it's a weak attempt at a joke, but rio smiles down at him anyways.

"don't worry. the second he gets home this weekend, he's on house arrest. okay? he's gonna be chained to you the whoooole time. and i'm keepin' watch."

it's not much, but 42 still takes that little bit of hope and holds it gently in his mind.

"the second he walks through that door, i'm tackling him. i don't care." 42 smiles at the thought.

rio laughs, kisses his forehead again and stands up. "dinner is almost ready, by the way." she gives him a look. "you better eat with me tonight, because your brother is at school and your dad is doing overtime tonight. okay? okay."

42 sighs deeply to wake himself up a bit more as he sits up and scratches at his durag. "yeah, yeah. 'm comin', ma!"

¹ "but what is going on with you, papí?" (papí being a common term of affection for a boy in spanish, it doesn't always mean "dad" lol)

² "if you're not sick, then what is it?"

☆ until they get "too old" for halloween, the morales twins ALWAYS wear matching costumes. every year. every single year, no matter what. what they usually end up wearing changes every year and they aaaaaalways argue over it, of course. notable costumes so far: batman and superman (age 13), two ninja turtles (age 9) (im thinking mikey and donatello bc of personality but lbr rio most likely forbade either of them to be leonardo bc the twins would deadass get into a fist fight over it), tom and jerry (age 2), mario and luigi (age 7), woody and buzz (age 5), peter pan and captain hook (age 10), and-- rio's favorite-- thing 1 and thing 2 (age 4)

☆ 42 was surprisingly always very popular with the girls at school. in middle school, 1610 was the geeky one with braces and acne. 42 got off relatively easy in that regard and as a result was labeled "a heartbreaker" from the jump, which annoyed him. he has no interest in dating whatsoever and swore to never get into a relationship before graduating high school. he's got his mom and brother to take care of and he's going places after high school, damnit! 1610 on the other hand is a huge romantic and has a crush on a new person almost every year of school, easily

☆ the literal second 1610 set foot in the house after his spider bite, 42 was all over him asking a million questions since they both have that supernatural twintuition, and 42 sussed him out immediately. 1610 obviously had to come clean and tell his brother he was spiderman just like he told ganke, otherwise he was never gonna be able to change into his spider suit at home (plus they share a room, so. there's that)

1610 didn't even get to close their bedroom door all the way before his twin leaped up from his own bed and stalked over.

"óye, bro. what's up? what happened at visions?" 42 circled his brother, squinty-eyed in the exact same way their mom is when she's suspicious. 1610 dropped his bag next to his bed and plopped down on his sheets, trying to put some distance between them.

"uhhhh what're you talkin' about?" he tries casually, and immediately regrets it.

"uhhhhh what're you talkin' about?" 42 mocks. "don't play dumb with me. you KNOW what i'm talkin' about, stupid. first, you answer, like, none of my texts ever. then dad comes home sayin' you never let him talk face-to-face when he visited you a couple days ago. mamí has been texting and calling you nonstop, no answer either. you are a brand new person now, huh? qué te pasa, yo?"

1610 hunched his shoulders as he got up and slumped over to his desk. he was quietly weighing his options, nervously rearranging papers and sketches on the wooden table, wondering how he was going to break it to his brother that he was--

"lemme guess. you have superpowers now," 42 says easily. he crosses his arms triumphantly when big round amber eyes suddenly turn up to his face.

1610 searches his face for any hint of a joke. no... no way. did his brother just...?

"you're playin' with me. no way. how did you--?"

42's eyes widen. "wait, are you being deadass right now?" he threw his head back and crowed with laughter. "that was just a guess!"

1610 leaped forward and pushed his hand onto 42's mouth, shutting him up. "heeyyy hey hey hey hey shhhhh, man. damn, could you possibly be any louder? look," he took his twin by the shoulders and gave him a slight shake, lowering his voice to a near whisper. "mom and dad can never know anything about this. okay? anything. not a word, you understand?"

42 pushes his brother off. "ok-ay man, cool it. i promise. we can shake on it, even."

wordlessly, they did their super secret handshake they came up with and perfected in the 4th grade in lieu of hooking their pinkies together. it was the morales shake, a move that binds them to secrecy and keeping promises til death. this was serious business. 1610 relaxes a bit once they're done.

"... okay. and i mean it, pencil braids. if you even breathe a word about this, or even think about--!"

"if you don't just tell me already, goddamn."

with a meaningful look thrown at his brother's way, 1610 raises an arm silently. 42 looks back expectantly.

1610 shoots a web up. he jumps up, using the web as a bungee rope to help him flip and land feet-first onto the ceiling. once his sneakers touch their ceiling, he stands up... upside-down. he stares at his brother and his brother stares back, mouth agape.

"niiiiiiice," 42 leans back and grins up at his twin brother, spiderman.

☆ 1610 is glad he has someone besides ganke to talk to about spiderman stuff, though. his brother listens way more attentively than his roommate anyways, and even tries to help sometimes esp when 1610 needs a quick distraction so he can switch from spiderman back into his regular clothes before the parents notice

☆ 42 is surprisingly cool abt his twin bro being spiderman, actually. even when they're texting 42 is careful not to imply 1610 is spiderman, and often calls stuff in to the police station if 1610 webs anyone up and lets him know. he also gets very good at bandaging up wounds quickly

☆ 42 is a hardass on the outside and contains his emotions much better than his twin, but he's kinda different around his family, since he loves them a lot. he jokes around a lot with them, esp around 1610. they also love pranking their parents, and are p creative at coming up with ways to make everyone laugh

☆ i personally picture 42's personality being sort of like huey's from the boondocks, especially around other adults. he becomes withdrawn and speaks very clearly and directly, and is very shy around strangers. some ppl mistake that as him having an attitude problem but his friends and family know better. only difference between huey and 42 is that 42 isn't nearly as woke lmfao

☆ meanwhile, 1610 becomes a motormouth around strangers and is quick to hug and kiss random family members at family reunions. as a lil kid, he'd always be the one up at the counter ordering for the both of them and chatting with the cashiers, or bus drivers, or whoever. as he gets older and used to the spiderman thing, he chats and jokes with randoms a lil less. he has to save the good material for when the mask is on

☆ 42 is a better writer than he is an artist, actually. he has notebooks filled with poetry and lyrics he scribbles down on post-it notes just to stick them in there for safekeeping. he's also been working on a sci-fi story since he was in 6th grade in absolute secrecy; he doesn't want a single soul to see it. he'd be mortified if anyone saw the nerdy shit he comes up with

☆ even tho 1610 has never fought anyone or been scrappy with anyone else, he's very good at wrestling and dodging punches thanks to his brother.

☆ 42 is the more fashion-inclined twin, even tho they're both sneakerheads. 42 just pays more attention to accessories, the fit of his clothing, how to pair the right shoes with the right jacket. 1610 throws on anything comfortable and calls it a day, and it gets even worse after he becomes spiderman. 42 clowns his brother SO HARD after he finds him wearing yellow sweatpants with an oversized red adidas hoodie and a green puffer jacket once (it was when 1610 came home from fighting a shapeshifting lizard that tried to take over cypress hills. the sweatpants were on backwards)

☆ 1610's sense of humor is geeky and he always tries too hard with his quips and jokes. he usually gets "secondhand embarrassment" chuckles from ppl. 42's style of comedy is a mix of dry humor and unintentionally being funny. this dude will say something clever with the straightest face ever and have the ENTIRE room in stitches without even meaning to

☆ just to nail home how different they are, even tho they share a room, you can tell EXACTLY which half of their room begins and ends. 1610's half is cluttered, vibrant, covered in posters and action figures, collages and trinkets on every available surface. 42's is as clean as a hospital room, and he ALWAYS makes his bed every morning. 42 has a poster or 2 hung up but he's not much for decorating in general. he's more into alphabetizing his bookshelf and looking for more efficient storage to put under his bed

☆ when jeff looks at his sons, he sees aaron and himself and sometimes it scares him. when the boys were around 12 (the Evil Year) he made SURE to sign them up for camp trips that summer and keep them close together as much as possible. he hates to see his boys drift apart at all and is the 1st one to call it out if he sees it. he just doesn't want his boys to end up like he and his brother did…

☆ … and then other times? it genuinely makes him feel a combination of irritation and also fondness bc sometimes 1610 and 42 really really remind him of aaron and himself, esp when they were young. ESPECIALLY when they argue. in every playful slap on the shoulder, every arbitrary competition started out of nowhere, every sleepy brother slowly sliding onto the other's shoulder during nighttime car rides, he sees it. he sees them, and then he sees his past. and with every little difference between the boys slowly cracking open like a chasm with each passing day, sometimes he thinks he can even see his future.

☆ 42 is cool or whatever but i also hc he's kinda… weird sometimes. it gets worse when his twin bro goes off to visions, he keeps staring at walls while sitting in dark rooms and eating at weird hours of the day. rio caught him fast asleep practically hanging off the window sill one night, and another time jeff found him having an entire conversation with a brick wall once while on patrol. 42 refuses to answer any questions

☆ after 1610 gets into visions, becomes spiderman, tells his parents abt his plans to go to princeton, etc... 42 eventually starts feeling a type of way (a jealous way…) their parents also seem to pay attention to 1610 more whenever he's home just to add insult to injury. he knows he's not supposed to, but he often finds himself thinking about the prowler gloves and schematics aaron left behind. he managed to grab them and hide them in a gym bag one day while helping his parents clear out aaron's apartment. the tech currently lives under his bed…

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/1/2024

come getcher BOY in HOUSTON TX limited time DEAL he will be going to the shelter where they hopefully have more resources to place FIV+ cats on FRIDAY!!! he has gotten so sleek and healthy looking after only a month of unlimited kibble he will be SUCH a nice silly companion for someone but unfortunately that someone is not me

^worried about the air purifier turning on

listening

OWW. feat BUBBLE by Halo Boy is fun bc it’s fun to yell “gimme love bites like OWW!” brain empty just songs that are fun to blast in the car. not quite a candidate for the “SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)” playlist but certainly worthy of inclusion on the “SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (NOT GAY)” playlist

-

reading

i have a lot of uncomplimentary thoughts about frank lloyd wright. part of them revolve around the fact that buildings are really not meant to last forever, especially experimental buildings made with experimental materials. i am furious, however, that a cryptocurrency grifter couple bought his only skyscraper for $10 to "save it from bankruptcy" from a tiny nonprofit, seem to be hacking it up to sell the furnishings in pieces, and have put the building up for commercial sale on a site mostly used for fast food franchises and strip malls. the building, like many frank lloyd wright buildings, is in pretty rough shape. i've seen some walkthroughs and video tours and there's a ton of water damage and then extra water damage from oklahoma winter ice. i do not know if the building as a whole is reasonably salvageable without tens of millions put into it and a new foundation put in place to take care of it.

Liz Waytkus, the executive director of Docomomo US, an organization that works to preserve modern architecture, said it strongly opposes any sale of the Wright materials. “They’re trafficked goods,” Waytkus said. “The same that you would say of pottery or vases from Egypt or Mesopotamia that were obtained through illegal ways, these pieces from Frank Lloyd Wright should be thought of in the same exact way.”

i think the above quote is a little dramatic. what the crypto couple are doing is more in bad taste than anything, bc they do own the building. in my heart of hearts, i do think pieces and fixtures designed specifically for a site should stay with the site as long as reasonably possible. they're not going to look or function quite the same anywhere else. this is the unfortunate reality of getting a superstar architect to design The Whole Site and not just the building, you're kind of (in good taste and not legally) obligated to continue to preserve The Whole Site and not just the building.

another in the "not technically illegal but in bad taste" file, for both sides imo but i do think the misbehavior is greater on one side. idk if matt is like Unwell, or if he has tech founder brain and it's simply been more visible lately. oh my god i looked up how old he was (40) and he is local to me. ive probably seen him patio dining somewhere or walked past him at the rodeo and simply haven't noticed

But in a dispute that’s meant to clarify what is and isn’t WordPress, Mullenweg risks blurring the lines even more. WordPress.org and WordPress.com both have a point — but it looks an awful lot like they’re working together to make it.

-

watching

kind of a light week? i don’t have anything particularly interesting to say about any of these.

i did not plan this bc i was kidnapped last minute by my bestie to see Howl’s Moving Castle in theaters, which was a very fun movie to see on the big screen. i have not seen a movie in theaters since Birds of Prey in early 2020, kind of scary to be inside a theater again! wish covid had not so thoroughly broken my health and confidence and i also wish covid was Over over instead of a constantly rolling crisis!!

-

playing

i am going to preface this section with two facts: 1) i have been playing genshin impact since version 1.0, before the second major region in the game came out and 2) i have been unemployed since january and have spent more hours per day playing this game than really anyone should in the past couple months.

ive set a bunch of very silly goals for myself bc genshin impact is largely a game about making your own fun within the grindy gacha framework and i have hit two and a half of them. you can "ascend" a character six different times to up stats by a decent percentage, and i have now ascended all 64 characters the maximum 6 times. the last one was heizou bc 1) fuck a cop and 2) fuck the machine boss in the chasm for his mats. why did THREE characters need these mats. wretched.

my next goal is to get all my characters to friendship level 10. you can increase this mostly by spending the in-game renewable resource "resin". getting your characters to friendship level 10 has no in-game benefits but does give you a fun little namecard for ur profile. i have been prioritizing my five-star characters and then going through the nations' characters in order. ive been done with the mondstadt kids for a while, i just maxed out my last five-star (dehya) today. as u can see by this list sorted by friendship level, i have five liyue characters and two inazuma characters left and just buckets and oodles of sumeru and fontaine characters.

i haven't really done much with the newest natlan character, kachina, bc i do not enjoy playing as the small children characters. there are so many tall hot ladies in this game. speaking of, the next character i will be pulling for is this tall drink of water

i have also caught one of every catachable animal! this one was very irritating bc u can only buy five nets a week. finding this one specific lizard was also very irritating. none of the point in the desert the official game map assured me were spawn points were actually spawning for some reason. had to go to several underwater caves and cross my fingers

-

making

fallow week

[cumulo-stratus]

“You Do This Everyday?”

Pairing: Spencer reid x Male! Youtuber! Reader

Description: y/n has a pretty popular cooking channel and one day after y/n doesnt edit out spencer givving y/n a kiss when he gets home the fans go crazy wanting a video where you bake together so you make a vid answering questions while making a fall recipe

Warnings: possible swearing, fluff, spencer being a clueless little pookie &lt;3

Flufftober day 12: cooking together

A/N: I saw a fic with he idea of spencer x youtuber reader and i loved it so here we are. i think this idea is so cute and has so much potential so i hope i do it justice <3 Enjoy!

The last of the afternoon light streamed through the windows of Y/n and spencers kitchen, and theirs laughs rang out loudly through the otherwise quiet apartment. Y/n had put his weight on spencer- his face stuffed into his spencers chest trying to muffle his laugh. When the laughing finally died down to giggles y/n lifted his face and said 

“spence- spencer we need to redo the intro!” 

“But we’ve done it 2 times already!”

“yes- and well do it a third and a fourth if you dont stop laughing whenever i start talking!” 

The loving bickering was only that- bickering. Spencer didnt mind doing another take, and another one, if it meant he got to see y/n laugh again he would do it 10 times. His attention was pulled back to reality by his boyfriend counting down, starting again.

“3, 2, 1, rolling. Hello ladies, gentlemen, and rats under chef hats, i welcome back to my channel- I hope your having a funky fun day becasue in todays video im going to be making minestrone soup- but with a twist! i read your comments- ive seen the requests, so today my lovely and beautiful and handsome boyfriend will be joining us!”

Y/n motioned for spencer to come into frame and he shuffled in while his boyfriend did jazz hands around him for special effects. spencer giggled at his boyfriends antics while he introduced him.

“everybody this is spencer- hes my boyfriend, and today he’s gonna help me make soup. And yes we will eat it for dinner afterwards!”

Y/n trailed off and stayed silent for a couple seconds for editing later before giving spencer a kiss on the lips- silently thanking him for participating in the video. 

“okay- now i need to start with the veggies- can you grab them out the fridge please?”

“of course m’lord!” spencer used a joking tone as he pulled all the bags labeled “for soup” and dropped them unceremoniously on the counter, eliciting a chuckle from y/n. After taking the vegetables out of their bags and setting them back on the counter, y/n went back and started the camera. Spencer giggled as y/n began to speak. 

"Okay so we're gonna start by cutting our veggies- but, and especially because my boyfriend over here is a bit of a germaphobe, we're gonna wash them first, thoroughly.”

spencer chuckled at this while his boyfriend poured the veggies into a veggie spinner that he had gotten him for christmas. After washing he brought them back to the island infront of the camera and said “Just like that- poof! clean veggies” (definitely thinking of the audio and just like that- poof! lola’s gone. wrong- im right here you fucking brusell sprout!) 

Spencer looked at y/n confused and asked "wait but- why'd you say poof? You washed them right here?!"

Y/n started giggling and took Spencer's hands in his and said "Spence- lovey I washed them off camera and then I'm gonna edit it to look like they poofed clean" spencer looked down for a moment before looking back up causing y/n to burst out laughing as he said “oh. i gués that makes sense, sorry..” and gave y/n a peck on the lips. Y/n pulled out the knife block and set it on the counter, starting the camera. 

“Okay so im gonna have spence prep my veggies and then I’ll cut them into peices about the size of my thumbnail, or a little bigger.” spencer nodded, understanding his job and started by peeling a carrot. not five minutes in of him cutting and peeling, and of course while you were filming a quick shot of you guys cutting the vegetables- did he cut his finger! y/n wa focused on dicing the onion when he heard a loud yelp from his boyfriend next to him. His headshot up looking at his boyfriend, concerned. 

"What's wrong love?" 

"I cut my finger" Spencer had the most doe eyed, helpless look on his face as he held up his finger, which was now streaming blood. Y/ns eyes knitted in concern for his boyfriend and he walked over, dabbing the blood with a dish rag. 

"Oh my poor baby- here lemme help you."

Y/n left a small peck on his boyfriend's hand, leading him over to the sink to wash it off. Spencer just pouted as the cool water splashed over his finger. Y/n chuckles before getting a bandaid from the first-aid kit in the kitchen, and gently placing it on Spencer's newly cleaned finger. 

After cleaning up the blood, and confiscating Spencer's knife and peeler. 

The couple then took a couple minutes to regroup, and finish the vegetables, before filming the rest of the video.

While y/n put away his camera and turned down the burner under the freshly made soup, Spencer flopped down onto the couch sighing and said "you do this everyday?" Y/n chuckled at this and to flopped down on top of Spencer, giving him a kiss on the cheek and saying "yup- and I still have to edit out all the clips of you just laughing" y/ns tone was teasing while Spencer's became defensive as he spoke in his defense, "hey- I don't do it for a living, you do! You know I'm a terrible cook y/n.. speaking of I think I deserve another kiss for that cut I got on my hand earlier.." Spencer trailed with a smirk. His boyfriend sighed in fake resignation and leaned for a kiss, holding back a laugh as their lips met. 

The End 

[youremyheaven]

with that Venusian man 👨 hmm 👀👀 spill the tea girl

Not the 33yr old, this is the friend from a few nights ago 😜 whose arms I liked 🤭😩

They're both Bharani Moon tho 😌 which is my favourite among the Venus naks 😌😌😌 so I do feel like God's favourite rn lmao 🤪

Idk why I never felt this way about him before but looking at his pictures and talking to him, didn't make me feel much , like he's objectively good looking, a veryyyy handsome man, 6'2 😩😩 (the 33yr old is 5'7 max 😔) BROAD ASF SHOULDERS, BIG ARMS, but I was never attracted to him. He has a very sweetie personality too, he has Mercury in Purvabhadrapada atmakaraka and lots of Jupiter in his navamsa chart and he feels veryyy Jupiterean, which according to Claire's video is the nice guy you friendzone etc which is what I did too 😜🤭🤭but OH MY GODDDDDD THE MAN IS DEMONICCCC IN BED 😩😩😩😩😩

He has a veryyyy masculine presence and I love love love love LOVE his body 😩😩😩 he's so bulky and so big, I just get butterflies looking at him 😍😍

So we agreed to book a hotel room that you can rent for a couple of hours??? BEST DECISION IVE EVER MADE 😩😩😩

and from the minute he picked me up, I just had to have him inside me one way or another like 😭😭😭 he's SOOO manly, that I just WANT to get on my knees for him 😭😭😭 I can't believe I'm saying this out loud 😭😭

He's so affectionate and SOOOO gentlemanly, like DAMN he was raised right ✨ he prioritizes foreplay and spends a lot of time on my body, just kissing me all over, I remember when we were friends, he'd casually point to the moles on my arms and say shit like "would be nice playing connect the dots with these 😏" but I just saw him as a friend and I flirt with all my friends male and female and vice versa so i didn't think too much of it but tonight 😩😩😭 as he took my pants off, he saw the mole on my upper thigh and he was like "here's one I haven't seen before 😈" (and all of today, his voice has been deeper and more 🥵🥵 usually he sounds all 😃😊😃☀️🌸 but today he sounded so 😈🥵😈 even tho he was just talking about normal shit) and then he kissed it and licked it 🥵🥵down until he reached yk where 🙈 and BOYS' GOT THAT TONGUE TECHNOLOGY 😩😩😩I was shook 😳😳😳too stunned to speak 🙊😳😳😳😳I was physically glitching 😭 i literally had to beg him to just put it in because I cannot take it anymore 😭😭 and the wayyyy he grabbed my legs closer to him 😩😩😩we fcked thrice 🙈🙈🙈🙈 he only had one condom 💀💀💀 and y'all should always use protection when you have sex but when he pulled out and jizzed on my stomach, I lost my mind, idk it was so hot 🙈🥵

And just the way he holds me, touches me etc it makes me feel 😩😩😩

I'm sorry to share such filth detail with y'all but I don't have friends I can share any of this with (so instead I'm telling thousands of strangers lmao 😭) idk why I'm giving such a blow by blow account of this but honestly it was suchhh a good experience 🙈🙈🙈

We were just lying down talking between rounds and we have such a good bond y'all it's so funny 😭😭 like we're talking about random shit, he was asking me about stuff and I was telling him and he was smiling kissing my body as he's listening and then he holds my face and says "you know this is pillow talk right" and idk we're both blushing 🙈 and he's like "I love listening to this, don't stop, keep talking" 😩😩 (fastest way to my heart lol)

Anyways, we leave the hotel (super cute place btw) and when we're by the reception the staff (just two dudes) look at us like 😏but tryna remain professional and I feel so accomplished like ??? I just had sex with this tall handsome man ??? 😩😩And everytime others looked at us, I was just like 😌😌hehe this hottie was inside me 😌hehe 🤪😜🤭 and ngl we look reallyyy good together 🥵🤭🙈but anyways although he pulled out in time, he did cum outside my yk what and I told him I'm taking the pill just to be safe and he parked a little bit away from the pharmacy and went and bought it for me???? Like that's well raised right there 🥹🥹 (he didn't want them to see me bc this is India and women are judged heavily for having sex and he bought it bc he came inside me so that's the least he could do 💀but just the fact that all of it was so unspoken and he just did all of it intuitively was sooo hot to me, like I said I'm turned on by gentlemanliness) you should have seen the way he looked when he walked back to me 🥹🥹🥹🥹 just the finest man alive 😍🥵😩 idk how someone can go from being some guy to THE guy in a couple of days but it's happened 😭😭😭

he texted me asking if I reached home and then asked me a little later if I took the pill 😭😭 I never ever EVER thought that him and I would be at a point where we fuck raw and he reminds me to take the pill 😭life works in mysterious ways 😭

[mattphobiia]

STREAMER.

i finally prepare the last touches before clicking start to begin my stream, sitting back into my chair as i watch the viewers increase as the minutes pass by and my chat begins to get active.

"hey chat! how are we all feeling today?" i say as i begin to set up my screen so all the viewers can see. i look over for a minute to see what everyone was talking about only to see my chat spamming that i was wearing "fresh love" which started to confuse me.

"guys, why are you bringing up my outfit?" i laugh awkwardly as i click at the mouse selecting the game folders. "my best friend got it for me so i don't know what you are all talking about."

"anyways, i've opened all my games so spam my chat with whatever you want to see me play!" i cough, trying to distract the viewers as they all begin to change the topic.

"for fucks sake, all i'm seeing in the chat are all the horror games." i sigh in annoyance. "do you all want me to have a heart attack?"

i hesitantly click to the most suggested when in the corner of my eye i see my chat spamming even crazier than before. i scan through the comments to see many people saying some guy called chris had joined.

"chat who is chris?" i ask curiously as i pause to look at my stream. "chris sturniolo?" i quickly got out your phone to search for his instagram when a verified user came up and turns out i was wearing his merch brand, fresh love.

"oh, damn. hes a big creator!" i gasp, looking through his account as i turn my phone to the stream. "well, hey chris if you're still here!"

i turn my attention back to the game as i engage properly while my heart raced with nerves until the sound effect of someone subscribing made me jump, along with a donation.

chrissturniolo subscribed!

chrissturniolo donated $100!

"holy shit, you scared the fuck out of me!" i scream, jolting backwards and nearly falling from my chair as i place my hand on my chest to feel my heart pounding. "thanks for the $100 and sub chris sturniolo."

i had been streaming for over two hours now, and this chris guy had been donating a couple hundred dollars numerous times just to talk to me directly and my chat was going absolutely crazy over him. i honestly didn't see the hype until i got the idea from someone in the chat to check out their youtube channel, and something about that sparked my interest.

"chat.... i have a surprise for you all!" i say excitedly. "ive seen many comments begging for me to react to the sturniolo's videos so... that's what i'll be doing for the next hour!"

a couple minutes before i searched up their channel, i received another donation from chris, but was that a surprise?

chrissturniolo donated $1,000!

"chris! holy shit dude!" i yell excitedly, nearly beginning to cry as i get up from my chair to get out of the camera frame. "i can't believe this... thank you so much!" i say while the tears of happiness slowly seeped from my eyes. i slowly sat back down as i wipe my eyes before looking at the chat, realising he had left a message underneath the previous donation and i read it out loud.

"thanks for the support, treat yourself princess- princess?!" my eyes widen as i lean closer to the screen, almost in denial. "damn chrissy, thanks!"

i click onto their channel as i select one of their most recent car videos, almost gasping for air once i saw what they actually look like.

"chat is it just me or is chris really attractive?" i question, slightly smirking predicting the reaction of everyone, knowing they would act feral. "oh, thanks for the $5 donation chris!"

chrissturniolo: 😳😳 whats the instagram???

i read out his comment as i pull up another tab to open instagram, showing off my secret account that not even my own supporters had as i continue to speak.

"this is the spam account, but i consider it my main since i don't actually use the other one. as you can tell, i definitely post myself in some... questionable clothing choices!"

immediately on screen, chris's notification popped up saying that he followed me, along with many others where he was liking my posts.

"well, the whole stream saw your notifications chrissy. anyways, back to reacting." i say, giggling to myself as i saw through my peripheral vision that the chat had began to speed up rapidly.

"well that was a fun time! i dont know why i havent watched them sooner, but ill be getting off now to rest. chris, ill talk to you later. bye everyone!" i finally say, giving a wink to the camera for chris as i end the stream, falling back into my chair as i let out a sigh.

well, that was a very unexpected surprise to my stream. my thoughts suddenly get interrupted when i notice chris had sent me a private message.

chris: hope you enjoy all that money i gave😉

you: i definitely will, you live in la/boston right?

chris: yesss, i live in la but usually go to boston to visit parents

you: thats cute

you: would you ever want to meet up?

chris: i'll do anything for a girl like you🥴

you: 🫣🫣🫣

MASTERLIST

a/n : this is not proof read and i also started off in second person perspective (you,your,etc.) so im sorry if that is still there🥲 im also having a bit of writers block atm but im trying to write more! thank you for all the support tho:)