#ive never cried this much about a fic chapter in my LIFE

[diorkyeom]

THE @diorkyeom / @fairyhaos AO3 FIC REC LIST: PART 3

masterlist. part one. part two.

part three of all the ao3 fics that i've read for seventeen which i've loved, kudosed, and proceeded to download so i'll always have with me! lots of these are fics that have been in my library for a while that i just never got round to reccing, so expect a lot of verkwan in this haha

(list is in order of titles!)

By Any Other Name - bapilli

verkwan, omegaverse, oneshot

i don't even read omegaverse so idk how i even ended up reading this in the first place but. it's actually sooo so sweet. their dynamic is just sososo gentle and hansol just Likes seungkwan SO MUCH and it's So obvious and it makes me want to sob in my hands a little bit. this fic gets bonus points for its hurt/comfort elements and the gentle reassurance it has.

Give Me A Chance To Be Yours - lillupon

meanie, uni au, pining, chaptered

listen guys. there is So Much stuff in the meanie tag that if i rec a meanie fic, you just know it's the best of the best. the whole best-friends-who-act-like-theyre-dating thing is delicious But add that with oblivious mingyu and pining wonu and a confession not taken seriously and jealousy and you have an absolutely stellar fic. and wow, guess what, that's exactly what this fic is

Green (With Leaves) - kaiteki

soonhoon, plant shop au, chaptered (but short)

no bc why is literally the gentlest, sweetest, fondest soonhoon characterisation ever and why is it so accurate???? i Love dramatic soonyoung and dry humour jihoon and their fun little dynamic put into the loveliest friends to lovers plot ever. y'all know that i prefer strangers/ friends to lovers over e2l for soonhoon any day and this fic does it rly well

i'm all about you - checkyeshoshi

verkwan, football (soccer), chaptered

honestly seungkwan as a firecracker of a football coach is something ive Never thought about before but it also makes so much sense???? and hansol just being The Guy dragged into the team's shenanigans is so adorable and very much him imo. also seungkwan basically just gawking at hansol's muscles the entire time >>>

Insomnia - Mistehri

soonhoon, canon au, ib insomnia zero 1, oneshot

soooo soft and soooo sweet!!! i love little canon fics bc theyre always so self indulgent and i love that for the author. also adorable jihoon who can't sleep without soonyoung?? that's absolutely adorable and i cried a bit bc my heart was Melting at how soft they are

pack off the sunset glow - orphan_account

verkwan, roadtrip, non-idols au, oneshot

*clenches fists* i love these gay little boys so so much. it's so chaotic and fun and you literally can imagine everything that happens here and seungkwan being a dramatic mess as usual makes everything soo so much better

PEACH. - petitseok

seoksoo, non-idols, age regression, twoshot

honestly ive never even read those caregiver + regressor fics before but this one :((( instantly the best one of those types of fics ever like. i don't even know what made me click on it but it's So sweet and devastating and regressor!seok now has my heart bc of course this lovely man with big doe eyes should get to act like a 3 year old every now and then to relax

The Tiger On The Mountain - natigail

soonhoon, magical realism, shapeshifter hoshi, chaptered

hnnghghfh listen. people really underappreciate the potential for hybrid fics and shapeshifter fics that hoshi's tiger agenda brings, but this uses it really well! i love the interleaving of fantasy into Totally Normal Lee Jihoon's life and dude,,, the cliché tropes r all just so good

What's In A Name - thanku4urlove

verkwan, non-idols, fluff, crack, oneshot

seungkwan is so!!! himself!!! in this fic and i literally even have one section of this fic screenshotted bc i screamed about it to my friend since it was such an on-point seungkwan characterisation. also user thanku4urlove literally writes the best verkwan fics. i think i've recced their fics in every list so far

your name is a triangle - universefactory(jaeminjeno)

soonhoon, idolverse, established relationship, oneshot

mild misunderstandings and soft relationships. that's it, that's the fic. soonyoung is Sad and Sulking but jihoon is there to knock some sense into him and all is fine once again :D okay but also the way that the members r just so caring in the fic is vv sweet too

[aachria]

once again writing as im reading yk how it is

You apologizing in the notes for a longer chapter will never fail toget me hyped and sorta nervous 🧍‍♀️

SABO AND LUFFY REUNION I LOVE THEM

"So did you (get taller) , thank you for staying alive long enough for me to know that" aachria the writer that you are 😭 you always manage to make me emotional

Snakebite/fangs sabo my beloved ALSO SEPTUM PIERCING SABO??? HIM HAVING A SHIT TOM OF PIERCINGS??? AACHRIAAAAA. WRITE MORE SABO CHAPTERS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.

"…Who the fuck picks a prosethetic that looks like Sans from Undertale???? " Sabo the man you are

AACHRIA. PLEASE. IM AT THE "ACE TO BE EXECUTED" PART. WTF. WHAT WHAT WHAT 😭 UHM. I knew my ass was being too hopeful about both of them being there 😕 i shouldn't have trusted you.

If Ace dies. I'll cry. /th. You'll cry too so please don't kill him 🙏‼️

NOOOO ED DONT BLAME YOURSELF ITS NOT UR FAULT YOU WERE LIKE ⅘S DEAD ATP FR

THE VIVRE CARD OMG AACHRIA PL3ASE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US HOW COULD YOU 😭😭

"I can’t save him. I can’t save him, I can’t save him I CAN’T SAVE HIM I CAN’T SAVE HIM— " ricky when i catch you Ricky. I dont wanna call this foreshadowing cause that might give you ideas and i predicted quite a bit of stiff right. So i predict Portgas D. Ace will Live.

MONKEY D. LUFFY THE MAN YOU ARE 😭

I want you to know i cried at the Luffy comforting and forgiving Ed part 😕

" “How can you say that?” I croak, trying to find any hint of dissension in his expression. “How can you not believe it?” he counters." 😕😕😕😕😭😭😭😭 you're a bully

ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT OMG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN BETTER HAD ACE BEEN THE ONE TO GIVE IT TO THEM IN PERSON ANOTHER REMINDER THAT YOU'RE A BULLY. A MEAN MEAN BULLY 😭

ACES NOTE OMG I LOVE HIM SM HE BETTER NOT DIE 😭

" Bit of a shit way to meet and in law but hi" and then no elaboration is so funny 😭

PLANNING FUCK YEAH I ALWAYS LOVE THISE SEQUENCES IN FICS

Did. Did failure make ed forget about the kuma sending everyone away thing? Or are they gonna try to put it off til after marineford??? Or is it just not gonna happen at all???

Ed repeatedly saying "i love competent people" with kore and more intensity 3ach time is so real what a mood

Jonah mentioned 🤭 love to see sabo and ace bonding

ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK

"Unquestionably" 🤭🤭🤭

im still worried abt wtf is gonna happen a propos the strawhats separation

Amazing chapter as always excited to see the next chapter that you might post on Wednesday THANK YOU SO MUCH ‼️

GUYS I PROMIE I'M NOT APOLOGIZING I'M MAKING A STATEMENT BECAUSE I'M A BIG CONSISTENCY GIRLIE AND I FIGURE YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW GOING IN THAT IT'LL BE LONGER THAN YOU'D TYPICALLY THINK. LIKE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN READ A CHAPTER BEFORE GOING SOMEWHERE AND DON'T GET TO FINISH BECAUSE IT'S LONGER THAN YOU EXPECED. I DON'T KNOW.

but yeah getting you hyped and nervous is pretty much the intended effect.

I was trying real hard to keep faithful to the feelings from the canon Sabo and Luffy reunion while also not having Ace being DEAD as the driving force of the thanks (the ASL brothers thanking each other is something that can be so personal—) and I'm, if nothing else, content with where it ended up. Fuckin' love those two.

Nothing shows how much you love a character like giving them fucktons of piercings and just generally disregarding their canon design. He is my special little guy and I will make him strange and weird like he deserves and if that included stealing his fucking eye and making it more awesome and also poking a myriad of holes in his face, who's to stop me?

I am terribly trustworthy excuse you. I never said I wasn't going to do terrible things. I asked if you thought I'd do terrible things and I hoped I wouldn't do terrible things, but I never made any promises. Hheh.

I also make no promises not to kill Ace. For the record. But I will cry absolutely.

If there's one thing about Ed, it's that if they're given a chance they will martyr the SHIT out of ANYTHING. Like pookie please your saviour complex is showing.

I was so ready for someone to call out the recurring smoked fish joke like 'hmmmm smoked fish you say kinda of like SMOKE from something BURNING IS IT?!" and then that didn't happen and I felt vindicated. And please when have I ever used foreshadowing before. Doesn't sound like me at all.

Luffy is my hero you GO bestie COMFORT that idiot YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH—

Look that cowboy hat is fantastic and my catalyst for cowboy Ed, who can only get more cowboy cunty from here. Nothing say pirate quite like a cowboy.

Oh yeah baby Ed is very aware of Kuma. There's a bunch of you shits who were real concerned about them forgetting and to that I say the first little sequence of next chapter was supposed to be on the end of last chapter, but it was already too damn long so I had to split 'er up. It'll make more sense when you read it.

I LOVE COMPOTENT PEOPLE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Yeah.... the separation.........

Anyway yeah I didn't end up doing to Wed update because I had a bad week but there WILL be one this week ‼️‼️

[andydrysdalerogers]

Yours Submissively ~ Dreams

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, loss of virginity, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N: Its the penultimate chapter and I'm not ready to say goodbye to Steve and Belle. If you enjoyed this ride as much as I have, let me know.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Nacita

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

It was bright.  So bright. Why is the room so bright, she thought. Belle lifted her hand to cover her eyes.  Wait, her arm didn’t smart from the IVs.  She looked down to see her arms cleared and her belly gone. “No!” She grasped at her flat stomach. She sat up and cried. This has to be a nightmare. No, no, I can’t leave them. She looked around for an exit.  She had to go back.  She found the door, but it was locked.  She looked for a window, but the room had none.  Then she noticed the posters and photos.  She was back in her childhood room. This is where she would spend eternity.  Trapped in a room she hadn’t been in, in almost a decade.  She curled up, knees to chest, arms wrapped around and began to cry.  She sobbed for what felt like hours. She died and left her babies. Her family.  Her Steve. 

“You are alive, don’t worry.”  

Belle couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She lifted her head. “Daddy?” 

“Hi, my sweet girl.”  Phil Coulson stood in front of her. “You look so grown-up Belle.”  

“Daddy,” she breathed.  She ran into his arms and Phil held his daughter tight. He could feel the sobs racking her body.  “I’m here my girl.  My sweet Belle.”  

Belle searched his eyes. “Daddy, how, why?” 

“You’re asleep my Belle.  You’re dreaming but I needed to see you.” He held her back to look her over. “Look at you. I’m so proud of the woman you have become Belle.”  

She chewed her lip.  The man in front of her knew about her past. “Even though I’m HYDRA?”  

Phil shook his head.  “Isabella, you have never been HYDRA. I don’t know why you think that.”  

“Because the Avengers had to assemble because of me and my heritage.”  

“No, they assembled because you are a family.  And family will always be there for you.”  Phil cupped his daughter’s cheek.  “You are their family.  And you have never been HYDRA.  Your parents sacrificed their lives to make sure that never happened.  I only took over what they started.”  

Belle absorbed his words.  She had never been HYDRA.  She knew that deep down but to hear him confirm it made it feel so real.  “Oh daddy, I’ve missed you.”  

“I’ve missed you too.”  

“You gave me the best life.”  

“I’m glad.  Even if I had to leave you earlier than I wanted. I’m so proud of you and everything you have accomplished.  I’m just sad I can’t be there, cheering you on.  Didn’t get to walk you down the aisle or meet my grandchildren.” His voice cracked a little at the mention of her past.   

“I wish you were there too.”  

“They are great though, Jamie and Lucy.  Beautiful and perfect.”  

“You saw them.”  

“I check in every once in a while.  Steve is going to be a great father.”  

“And are you ok?  With Steve I mean.”  

“If I had to pick the perfect man for you, he is the standard.  He treats you good, right?” 

“Like a queen.”  

“Good because you deserve it.  He really is everything I ever wanted for you.  But tell him something from me.”  She nodded.  “Tell him to let the shield go.  Its time. He’s a father now.  He doesn’t need to be Captain America anymore.”  

“He told me he would only be Captain America if his love was threatened.”  

“But I have a feeling that you and your children will be very safe with him.”  

After a few minutes of just holding his daughter, Phil cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry Belle, but it’s time for me to go.”  

“No, I don’t want you leave. Please don’t leave me again.”  

“Oh, baby girl, I know but I am always here with you.”  He pointed to her heart, “I’m right there.  Always have been.  I never left. You’re gonna be ok. But they need you.  My grandchildren need you.”  

Belle hugged her father tighter.  “I love you daddy.”  

Phil held on to her.  “I love you too my Belle.”  

The world started to blur and fade. Belle starts to hear cooing and a baby crying and she blinks to see Steve and Bucky cradling little bundles. She smiles but stays quiet as she hears the love of her life coo at the pink bundle, while Bucky made faces to a blue bundle.  

“You ain’t gonna tell me his name, punk?” 

“No, jerk, Belle wanted to say that herself. Isn’t that right Princess?” he cooed to the bundle of pink.  

“God, she looks just like her mama and he looks just like you, poor kid,” Bucky teased.  

Before Steve could say anything, they hear, “I think his daddy is handsome.”  

Steve turns around to see Belle smiling weakly at him. “Hi sweet pea.” He breathes a sigh of relief. He walked over and sat in the chair next to her but leaned over and kissed her forehead.  “You really need to stop doing that my love.”  

“What happened?” 

Steve frowned.  “The doctors nicked a blood vessel during the operation. It wasn’t a major artery, but it was enough blood for you to lose consciousness.  They got it under control, and they had to do a couple of transfusions but Dr. Lee said you would make a full recovery.”  

“How long?” 

“Two days.  You were moving and muttering so they had to sedate you.  But I’ve been here this whole time, along with Bucky and we’ve been taking care of the twins.  They are perfect.”  

“My babies,” she whispered.  She looked down at the bundle in his hands.  “My little girl.”  

“As soon as the doctors say its ok, you can hold them,” Steve explained.  “But for now,” he tilted the bundle so she could see her daughter, all pink and soft, with a head of blonde hair. She yawned when she was jostled and she opened her eyes, violet looking back at her momma.  

“Lucy,” she breathed.  Steve moved her so Belle could brush her lips onto her daughter’s forehead. “She smells so good.  She’s beautiful.”  

“Just like her momma,” Bucky said coming over with another bundle. “Got someone else who wants to meet you.”  

“Hi Bucky,” she giggled. Bucky held up the other bundle to get a glance at her son.  His eyes were already open and looking around.   His dark curls on his head were a beautiful contrast to the ocean blues that adorned his face. “My baby boy.  So handsome.”  

The doctor walked in just as she gave her son a kiss.  “Welcome back Mrs. Rogers.” 

“Dr. Lee, hi.”  

“I’m happy to see you awake.  I assume your husband told you what happened.”  Steve nodded as he rocked his new princess in his arms. “I’m so sorry it happened, really.”  

“I don’t want to talk about it.  I want to hold my children.” Belle glared at the woman who almost took her from her family.  

“Of course.  As long as Mr. Rogers can help, it should be fine.  I’ll be back to check on you.  The pediatrician Dr. Carr will be by in a few moments to do a check up on the twins.”  The woman moved to leave.  “Once again, I do apologize for everything.” She left and Belle rolled her eyes.  

“I want a different doctor,” she pouted.  Steve kissed her temple but before he could respond, Bucky interrupted.  

“Really Belle?” Bucky rolled his eyes. “She saved your life and the twins, and you want to be a brat.”  

“As soon as I can, I’m going to tell Ava that you love brussels sprouts.” Belle narrowed her eyes.  

“You wouldn’t.”  Bucky looked pain.  “Steve?” 

“Oh no.  You leave me out of this. Love, we will talk about this later, ok?” 

She nodded.  “Can I hold a baby now?” 

Steve smiled softly.  “Of course.” He put Lucy in her bassinet and helped Belle sit up gently.  He picked up his girl again with a kiss to her head. Belle opened her arms and Steve laid Lucy in her arms, taking a seat to help hold Lucy’s head.  

Belle looked at her daughter. “Hi princess.” Lucy obligated by opening her eyes.  “Bucky, this is Lucy Antonia Rogers, our princess.”  

Bucky smiled as he cradled the boy.  “And this little punk?” 

Belle smirked.  “James Phillip Rogers. Jamie.” She watched his eyes widen.  “Do not drop that baby.”  

“Jamie,” he breathed.  He looked down.  “Hi Jamie.” He looked back at his best friends.  “I’m honored.”  

“You should be jerk.” Steve quirked a smile. “You are the fourth most important person in my life, after these three. Its why you’re their godfather.”  

“I am?”  Belle could see Bucky’s eyes glass over. She nodded and Bucky looked back at his godson. He stared at his downy hair and blue eyes.  “This kid is gonna get all the ladies.”  

“Yeah, well, this little girl will have a lot of callers as well.”  

“Over my dead body,” Steve replied.  “She mentions a boy I’m locking her up.”  Bucky nodded his head in approval.  

“We shall see little one,” Belle said to her daughter.  

Belle was finally sent home after week in the hospital. As Bucky drove from the hospital with Steve in the front seat and Belle in the back with the twins, she couldn’t help but feel like it was all surreal. They had made it.  Past all of the lies, the danger, her heritage, his history.  They could finally be the family they were meant to be.  

All of the Avengers, her family, were waiting for to arrive, with Steve and Bucky each holding a carrier.  Everyone came to greet Belle until finally Tony cracked.  “I have to know names.”  

Belle looked blankly at Steve.  “Are we supposed to give them names?” 

“I thought they picked them themselves,” he deadpanned right back to her.  

“Its what I did as soon as I was old enough,” Belle fake whispered.  

“Please tell me that you’re not serious,” Tony looked between Belle and Steve.  

“Ok, not serious,” Belle smirked as Tony let out his breath and the rest of group laughed.  “Everyone, this is James Phillip and this is Lucy Antonia.”  

“Antonia?” Tony choked.  

“Yeah, we honored my dad and I wanted to honor the other.”  Belle’s eyes shined as she picked up Lucy to hand her to Tony.  

Tony cradled the little girl.  “Hi Lucy girl, I’m Uncle Tony.”  

As Bucky introduced his god son to everyone, Steve looped his arms around his girl.  “Are you happy my love?” 

Belle looked around, taking in her family and smiled.  

“Yes, sir.”  

Three months later… 

Please don’t wake up… just stay sleeping, Belle thought as she closed the door to the nursery.  She checked the video on her phone and the twins didn’t move.  She did a little dance as Steve came around the corner.  

“Are they asleep?” He whispered 

“At the same time,” she whispered. 

Steve quickly grabbed his wife and lifted her by her thighs, forcing her legs around his waist.  “What would you like to do first love?” 

“A bath. I want a bath so bad.”  

“Ok, bath it is.” Steve gave her a sweet kiss and carried her to their bathroom.  He sat her on the counter and started to get it ready for her.  

“Oh, I should mention that the bath has to have you in it as well,” she said with a cheeky smiled.  

Steve turned to look at her.  “I think that could be arranged sweet pea,” he said with a wink.  

They settled into their bath with the monitor close by.  Steve cradled his girl in his arms, running a soft sponge over her, pressing kisses when he could. “So beautiful,” he whispered.  

“Mmhmmm,” she groaned quietly.  “Feels so good Stevie.”  

“Better or worse?” as he let a hand trail down her body and in between her legs, softly stroking the outside of her folds. Her hips jerked up, rippling the water.  “Easy, baby, I know it’s been a while, so I’ll go slow.” He slipped a finger in, and she cried out.  

“Amore,” she whined.  

“Let me take care of you princess,” he whispered in her ear.  “I’ve missed you, my love.  So warm, so tight, so wet.”  He stroked her steady and firm, wanting to warm her up.  

“God, feels so good.” Belle could feel the fire starting to build in her body.  They hadn’t connected like this since before the twins.  She had needed to heal, then the twins needed them more.  But finally, finally, they were back to being husband and wife, Amore and Sweet Pea, Steve and Belle.  

“Tell me princess, tell me what you want Isabella,” Steve drew out her name with every syllable.  

“I want… I want to cum, Steve, please, sir.” Her body was vibrating with every stroke.  

Steve groaned when he heard his title that she used.  It had been a few months since they played.  He had been gentle since she was still in the early stages of her pregnancy.  He grew harder remembering she barely swollen belly and tits. He moved his wrist a little faster, feeling her start to tighten around his finger.  He slid in another and listened to her hitch her breath. He then slowed, chuckling at her huffs of frustration.  “First time I get you all to myself in months, sweet pea. Wanna make it last.”  

“Stevie, please. Been… so… long…” she moaned as he sped up. Steve curled his finger twice before she detonated around his fingers. Her back arched against him as she let the heat flow through every nerve point in her body.  She had misses this, his power over her. 

As soon as he brought her back to Earth, he pulled the water and lifted her into his arms. He took them back to their martial bed and laid her gently down. “I love you. So much. Happy anniversary.”  

“Happy anniversary amore mio.”  

NEXT

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[crabs-in-a-trenchcoat]

this is my fic lol. ive mainly been posting it on Ao3 but i figured i might as well post it here too!

heres a link to the fic, there are more chapters on Ao3 but ill post daily for a little bit here along with art for the au

i really want to try to be more active on here

Sacrifice.

Sacrifice had always been a huge part of his life. He and his entire family had always sacrificed their lives in order to protect the ones they loved. It was just…a part of life for the family of turtles.

Their father had done it.

His brothers had done it.

Even he had himself a time or two before this. 

A thunderous wave of energy was pulsating though his body, he could feel the lightning and the power course through his veins. This power…this energy, it was immense. But it didn't hurt him, not like he initially thought it would.

It actually kind of tickled. He felt it in his core, an electric hum that danced with a conviction to save his family. To sacrifice for his family. 

Every second it was a part of him it got stronger and stronger and the amps kept increasing and the salamandrai more violent in his resistance and the ship shook and whirled and lightning spilled out in an excessive burst of desperation. 

“Hurry!” Michelangelo called out to his family. He didn't want to look back at them, he didn't want to watch them leave him. He didn't want them to realize he wasn't coming back, no. This sacrifice was permanent. 

He was sure about that. 

It was taking so much determination and willpower and love and desperation to keep the Newtralizer in the powercore of the ship from the stars. He knew that as long as he was holding the salamandrai here, he would never leave himself. 

Colors and sounds and electricity and screams and robotic whirs and mechanical screeching blended together so seamlessly it hurt to be around. Time was slowing down and the ship trembled violently. 

But as much as he wanted to run away and go home with his brothers, he couldn't. No one else could keep the vengeful salamander at bay while the ship’s power core overloaded. 

He could feel the build up of power vibrate through his bones. The burden immense. Almost too much to bear. 

“You fool!” the Newtralizer screamed in electric cries, “you'll kill us both.”

“I know!” he screamed back, hoping with whatever might he had left that everyone else was gone.

“Were both two of the most powerful beings in the universe,” the salamander screeched, “think of everything we could have, everything we could do! Are you really going to throw that away?”

“Yes! If it means you can't hurt anyone anymore, I'm prepared to die,” Mikey yelled back. He really wasn't. Death was such a funny thing to him. Only a few months before he had fully grasped what death really was. 

Even months after Splinter died he struggled to process that, and when he finally did death once again came knocking. 

This time it was his turn to answer. 

His turn to sacrifice.   

“I'm not going to be destroyed, Rakka.” Newtralizer pushed back even stronger and Michelangelo felt the current running through him increase, the buzz hummed around his body and vibrated deep in his heart that raced to keep up. 

He thought of his family again. That made him even more determined. His love was much stronger than the Newtralizer’s hate.

The ship cracked as it took off in an attempt to reach the stars where it came from. Debri crashed down all around him but he still refused to give in. He couldn't give up. 

“I'm not ready to die!” the overgrown newt screamed and the ship shook even more, excess electricity burst through the wall. 

“Me neither!” he admitted as loud as he could manage over the sound of the ship caving in on itself. 

“Then why are you trying to kill us both!” the salamandrai warrior's power weakened as it attempted to escape. Michelangelo refused to let it go. He forced it to stay still with all his power. 

“No one else can stop you!” Mikey roared, “if this doesn't end right now, then…then you will hurt everyone I love!”

He was sacrificing everything he had in order to protect those he loved. Because if this monster escaped, no one he cared about would be able to stop it. So that was why he gave it his all, that was why he fought back with all the courage and strength and love he could muster.

Seconds. Just a few seconds. That was all he had, he could feel the ship begin to give out, the engines exploded and the energy they gave off was sent in shock waves and reached him long before and fire or death could. 

This was it. The bitter end. 

He let go of the current as the Newtralizer was vaporized in seconds, right before his eyes. 

There was still so much leftover energy left inside him. He had the power of a warship stuck inside him and it begged to be let out. 

Not that it mattered if he did anything with that energy or not. It was over . The ship was mere milliseconds away from becoming smithereens and the Newtralizer was now dead. His family was long gone and he was alone. 

So much power inside one small turtle. The possibilities of all that energy was limitless. If only he had the time to do anything with it. 

All that mattered was that the ones he loved were safe.

After all, that's what it meant to sacrifice. 

And that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. 

[carmenized-onions]

CHAPTER 9 LETS FUCKING GOOOO (get ready for a yapfest, where most of it will probably be uncomprehensible because language can’t begin to capture the emotions your writing makes me feel) also !! add me to the taglist please and thank you<3

It is t-minus three days, until the worst Friday of your life. - already nervous and the chapter just started but fuck it we ball

you figure it’s probably just the breakfast from yesterday at La Mattina settling in your stomach— the way you scare me but still make me laugh

He does not care this much, he doesn’t even have basic reading comprehension— RICHIE HELL YEAHHHHH (and he calls her cousin🥹)

also big shout out to you author for making it so clear which texts were sent by what person (so how her texts are cursive and richie’s texts are bold) bc some fics make it so hard to differentiate who’s talking/texting!!<3<3

daddy - POR QUE. i know he didn’t mean it like that but shshshdh

See u chip - this is the cutest nickname!! everyone in that poll can fight me idc idc

It’s time to eat a whole freezer cake and lay in your pyjamas all day and interact with not a single soul on this entire planet. - me celebrating doing the bare minimum!! (but it’s still huge to me so i understand chip well)

To the air, more accurately, but, y’know, same thing. - [cries in norwegian]

You’re gonna get dinner, with Richie, this Friday. - OMGGGG HINTS FOR FRIDAY👀👀

THE SWITCH OVER TO CARMEN HELL YEAHHHH - fuckn delicious freezer cake for you author!!

He really needs his sister. - 🫶🏼 i feel like this is layered (like the carmenized onion)

you’re gonna work as a bottle girl for the rest of your life - his worst nightmare fr, worse than the restaurant closing actually

he’s never gonna get his shit together so he’s never gonna get to call you his - SHUT UPPP HOW COULD YOU DROP THIS ON ME😭😭

He’s still gonna be him - BABYBOY THATS NOT A BAD THING😭 LET ME PROTECCCC

Sisyphean nightmare - YOUR WAY WITH WORDS I LOVEEEE IT

He smells your shampoo, in his hair, that helps. - the way your chapters always make me cry from either the fluff or the sad

he has to hide his smile with his hand - THEM

So good to him, too good to him. Too good to anyone - 😭💓🫶🏼😭🫶🏼😭💓

Carmen so, so fucking desperately wants to ask you to come to The Bear, right now. - BALEGDEH

he knows it’d be perfect cannon fodder to be teased into oblivion. - NO BC LIKE IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS *A LOT* WHAT WILL RICHIE THINK OF CARM AND CHIP. Like thinking of how he and mikey acted at christmas after seeing claire makes me wonder how he’d act when finding out about carm and chip (also carm is only able to date girls with c names apparently <even tho chippy is a nickname but hush>)

looks to his best friend - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

he’s not you. - LMAO

he can’t find your repair expenses anywhere on here. - OOOP CHIPPY IS ABOUT TO GET CAUGHT

“I’m not fuckin’ high, cousin—” - ISBRIFBRIRKR

also bet carmen doesn’t have a problem with the two hours when it means TWO HOURS OF CHIP IN HIS RESTAURANT WHERE HE CAN SNEAK GLANCES AT HER

“What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?” - the way you’re nailing his voice!!

“S’ not dark, kinda, it’s just, y’know. Personal.” - WAY TO BUILD TENSION AUTHOR. it’s very clear you’re a(n amazing) screenwriter

Mikey got to do that first, too, eh? - STAPH

he's willing to admit it, for you. - RICHIE AND CHIP BESTIES YEEEHAWWWW

“You really wanna fuckin know, huh?” Richie tilts down his head, teasing. - i love this

“Oh, fuck, you fuckin’ like her, don’t’chu, cousin? You fuckin’ dog.” - SKJDIDJFKD

Y’have my blessing. - CUTE

“Didn’t ask for it.” - CUTER

“Don’t gimme no talk back, she was my boy first, a’right?” - CUTEST (ok carmy is cutest but im doing a thing here)

“Gone, cousin.” - it’s cute that you think that richie!! have a cookie!!

“Uh, one sec, I just need to finish this fuckin’—” He shakes his hand in the air, “Whatever the fuck this is.” - again nailing his character

If he had a… lapse in behaviour, and it got back to you, would that ruin him? - you forget how she met you carm, having a meltdown in the freezer

He needs to find your invoice. - he’s so cuteee

Maybe he should just ask you, instead. Let Nat thank you for the heating pad she’s been loving, properly. Have dinner, all together, in an actual family home, instead of just each other's apartments. That'd be nice. - that’s so sweet but i fear it won’t happen, at least not YET

He’ll make you something off menu, on Friday. - HES THE SWEETEST

You’re coming before the rush, anyways, he’ll have time to play, on Friday. - 👀👀👀

He’s gonna do right by you, this Friday - he owns my heart

But right now, it’s Thursday night, and you’ve finally finished Carmen’s piece for The Bear - OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE, THE CUTEST GIFT EVER

You know you told him if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to put it up, but admittedly, if he doesn’t like it, you will be crushed. - mood

Each square a snippet, a photo transfer. The squares themselves are messy, sun damaged, bleach stained, light flared. All twinged blue and yellowish. But so perfectly cut and curated. - the way you make it so easy to picture it, ugh we stan!!

Mikey. The only transfer completely unbleached, unaltered, unruined. He’s holding two cut outs. One, Food & Wine and the other, a small section in the off off off pages of the New York Times. - SHUT UP THATS THE CUTEST THING EVER TO EXIST

So so proud, silently, just with you— Couldn't look soft. Carmen does not know this photo exists. - Im gonna cry

You can only imagine the stress you could’ve eased, during their fire safety test - chip is such a slay

*the piece* is magnificent and perfect in every way and you did that!!

You took inspiration from the way his brain works - AWWWWW:3

He’s awfully inspiring. - the love that they have for each other is just everything. they are everything

You’re excited, to show this to him tomorrow, on Friday. Hopefully all goes well, on Friday. - EVIL

You’re gonna do right, by Carmen, on Friday. - SOULMATES🫶🏼

I almost briefed over all of these past few chapters to be nothing more than snippets in a chapter - i really really REALLY appreciated that you did in fact not do that

if you made it through this whole ask, god fnkn bless, looking forward to the master’s thesis i’ll write in your askbox after the next chapter

I had no idea people could make asks this long; like i mean on a character count level-- Did anyone know you could do this fr-- ANYWAYS I WANNA YAP BACK BUT I'M GONNA PUT A KEEP READING BUT PLEASE DO OPEN THIS THERE'S GONNA BE A POLL I WANT YOU CUTIES TO ANSWER

First of all, of course I will add you to the taglist, thank you for the gift of an essay everytime, i love u <3

I am ALL about Fear and Laughter. If I ever make business cards, that'll probably be the tagline. We ball.

It did make me laugh that you went RICHIE HELL YEAH after 'he doesn't have reading comprehension. I buried the lead on who the he in question was on purpose, and i was wondering if everyone would clock at that line immediately oh, it's richie. I'm so mean.

As for texting, I did read another person's fic and saw they put like screennames and sending times and i was like ah fuck, shoulda done that, but continuity,,,, so i didn't switch it up. Plus I enjoy thematically that Tony is italics, Carmen is italic/bold, and Richie is bold. I feel like it just kinda makes sense, character wise, that Tony and Richie are on either end of the spectrum and Carmen is inbetween.

They've gotta get an HR if Richie says daddy to anyone's face besides Tony frfr,

And THIS is where the new poll comes in, because you all SAY YOU WANNA FUCKIN KISS MIKEY, SO

Personally I do like Chippy a lot, not to colour your opinions. You'll see why i like it, eventually. And I'm sure when that happens we'll talk about it ad fuckin nauseam (and I'll eat it up, I will)

I love doing Carmen's perspective, it's like free therapy, realizing the way he and I both think is fucking crazy and I need to relax. He really does need his sister, poor bug. I genuinely do wonder how that's gonna be handled, in season 3.

HIS LITTLE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS PANIC YESSIRRR, Bottle Girl Tony = Hell, Never gonna actually date Tony = Mega Hell, He's Still Gonna Be Him = Super Awful Ultra Hell

So many (2) people enjoyed Sisyphean nightmare, I think I just have tumblr accent, honestly.

I'm so glad, that the shampoo thing happened honestly. I know that's crazy to say it like that, as the writer, as I planned it, but i didn't think I'd be able to call back to it all that much-- But I get to call back to it so fucking much, and it's always either heartbreaking or adorable, or both, and I lovveee both.

The idea that anyone has been thinking about a plot line that has yet to arise alot is like-- Like my brain melted. Like that's so. I'm a puddle. Puddle in your hands. BUT YES, I did have to think on that absolutely. It's a weird line to tow, right? Because Richie's gotten more respectful since then, and he's actual friends with Tony-- But like,,, bro is still a bro, at the end of the day.

CHIPPY IS ABOUT TO GET CAUUGGHTTTT, thank god someone laughed at the I'm not fuckin high line, I was worried.

“What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?” - the way you’re nailing his voice!! Did you see my ask saying i'm never sure about Carmen's dialogue and are now trying to reassure me? It's working, if you are.

WAY TO BUILD TENSION AUTHOR. it’s very clear you’re a(n amazing) screenwriter Daww, too nice to me, it IS really how I think Richie would navigate this Chip story, though, you'll see why there's,,,, pause about it, eventually.

“Gone, cousin.” - it’s cute that you think that richie!! have a cookie!! Listen, we don't KNOW how many times Tony's listened to Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Probably would need more than a single word though, Rich. A touch dramatic, cousin.

All Tony and Carmen wanna do this Friday is impress each other, and that's totally exactly what's gonna happen idk what y'all are buggin abouttttttt

I'm so glad folks like the piece, i was worried I explained it bad/it's just kinda stupid-- I just felt like, Carmen doesn't give abstract art vibes. I felt like photography worked a lot better for him. It also gave me the opportunity to slip in more Mikey, of which I think he is mentioned literally at least once every chapter. Bro is the phantom in the pages. i adore him.

I am also very glad that I didn't end up doing just snippets from the Consultation chapter to now. I was worried they'd give off filler vibes, when turned into full on chapters, but looking at them all now, i'm like it would've been an insane injustice to not give them all full breathing room. And now i think there's a lot more to sink into and give a fuck about!! Which is gonna make Friday hurt all the more <3

Anyways, thank you thank you for yapping, and i seriously need to go the fuck to sleep fuck i'm gonna be so groggy for work i'm gonna NAP ON THE BUS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!!

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (23)

the last part ☹️

chapter 69 (lol)

wait guys i lowkey forgot what happened it’s been so long

why is albus so sassy

"Gellert was my soul," Albus replies. "The only thing he wasn't was my little sister and my little brother. That is why he's dead and I'm here now, without him, and you still wish to punish me. You can't punish me more than I already punished myself the night I plunged a sword into his heart."

why is this dumbledore brothers angst so angsty 

ALBUS CALLING ABERFORTH ABBY 😭😭

“James and I are going to have four children." 

love sirius

ugh i forgot monty died ☹️

boooo albus

THE GASP I GUSPED

crimson river

yeah albus deserved that

it fully has been over a month since ive read this all of the thoughts from above are from the beginning of may

ok i think i found the part where i left off

“Sirius shakes his head and says, gently, "You. It was you, Reggie. You taught me that."“ ❤️‍🩹

ugh aberforth pov

i mean yeah i feel bad for him but

the end notes are always my fav part

chapter 70

wait i forgot to write down my thoughts

regulus’ note to james ☹️

monty ☹️

bye sobbing how is it that the games were the least emotionally heavy part of this entire fic

“”My moon is right here," Sirius counters, pressing closer to him, something gentle and adoring in his gaze.”

marylily save me marylily

marlene ☹️ never forgiving zar for that

poor james ☹️

frank ☹️

vanity ☹️

trying so hard not to cry rn

i love effie so much

“It's in his mum's arms, in this very moment, that he feels his dad again.” sobbing

why is sirius breaking up with james

oh okay

sirius is going back to 12 with remus

sirius is a good friend i think

james is a good friend too i think

james and regulus are kissing

it’s been two months ?!

chapter 71

effie ☹️

taking a break i can’t do this

ok we’re back it’s been several hours

i love effie so much she deserves everything

“My parents moved out, back to my childhood home when I was eighteen, when I started mentoring. I was gone during parts of the year, and they—ah, well, they were never really fond of…the neighbors."

Regulus pauses, then his lips twitch. "Those dastardly Blacks, I'm assuming."”

i love regulus

“Because Lily and Remus are not-so-secretly as attached to each other as Sirius and James are, Remus also calls Lily every day.” i love remus and lily

marlene ☹️

i love lyall in this

who is this ken fool

puppies!!!

"Very low bar. I could trip over you," sirius you menace 😭

“Lyall is wheezing.” me too lyall me too

oh me oh my

sirius just picking remus up

chat i have to pee so bad like i’m actually gonna pee my pants but my dog is sitting on me so i don’t want to get up bc she’s so cozy

i love mary so much

james going to be a teacher (of fun) i love him

BINGLEY IS A TEENAGER?? I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE 8??

bagels ❤️‍🩹

james telling regulus about his fear of fire good job james

the song ❤️‍🩹

SHEHWJEGTW

james just asked regulus to marry him

they’re getting married!!!!!!!

chapter 72

dorcas pov ?! ok eat

oh !

poor dorcas ☹️ ugh i feel so bad for her

she so right where you left me

took another break now im back

“Marlene wasn't the first; she wasn't even the last. That honor goes to Albus.” ugh i hate albus

oh molly i love her

this chapter

poppy and minnie ?! 

"No," Regulus agrees with a shrug, "but I hoped."

“She wants to live, and she wants to love, but in this aspect—romance—she feels quite content with being finished. Marlene was the love of her life, and that's it. Simple as that. She'll never love another.” SOBBING

i’m actually trying so hard not to cry

chapter 73

this one is called the wedding please let it be a happy chapter

low bar hilarious

wait i forgot to write my thoughts

remus and sirius are moving back to 6 and i love them 

jegulus i love them

sirius came back and james cried (he’s just like me fr)

james favorite thing at school being gardening with the kids ❤️‍🩹

james and regulus fighting over sirius is hilarious

baby

remus is not having this

non binary tonks i love them so much

i love narcissa

aberforth pov jump scare

reading this chapter is making me want to have a wedding

“but he and James are too busy riding the train in their locked compartment where they take the time to, ah, christen every single stop along the way” 😭😭

james in a suit dress save me james in a suit dress

“"Don't rush me!" Sirius retorts from inside, his voice muffled, but his excitement palpable. "James, entertain him, will you?"” this whole bit is hilarious

a bookshelf ❤️‍🩹

bye i’m crying that’s so sweet

“That other life is this one. This life is that one. All their lives have even a split second of joy, and hope, and effort. It doesn't matter what life it is; James knows that, in every single one, they have so much love to give, and so much love granted to them. Even if for only a moment, and that one moment can make any life worth living. Despite all the grief. Despite all the pain. Despite all the loss. Because there's love. Because there's a bookshelf. They do get it. They have it. They make it, and people who love them help make it, too.” 

"You're so stupid," Regulus says. 

"Yes, but I'm your stupid," James tells him, grinning. 

oh james and his knife kink

eugh this is giving me the ick

wedding time

aw james ☹️

“and no one knows this except them, but before the wedding started, Sirius gently fixed Regulus' tie and whispered to him that if, at any point, he wanted to stop or run away, Sirius would make a scene for him if that's what it came to.” i love sirius 

regulus is remembering things

“you’re hesitating love”

bye im going to cry

ugh i loved this chapter so much ❤️‍🩹

chapter 74

SIRIUS 😭 im so embarrassed for him poor sirius

“Apparently the stars have demands of me. Or just one, at least."

stop i imagined sirius crawling like what’s the name of the girl in the ring but like how when she crawls out of the tv 

sirius accidentally proposing to remus and then purposefully proposing to remus with a spoon because he doesn’t have a ring i love him

sirius is so unserious 

LILY IS GOING TO PROPOSE TO MARY AHHHHH

i love trans mary she’s my everything 

alice ?!

rip alice and emmaline

james invited alice to the wedding omg

frank ☹️

alice putting the casserole in the oven for james i love them

sirius dissociating in the middle of his wedding

wolfstar married wolfstar

i always get jump scared when i see xenophilius in fics

pandora xenophilus and rodolphus okay

wolfstar fostering a child

regulus babysitting

bagels

regulus stealing sirius’ children

harry!!!!

jegulus babies

TEDDY

i just finished this chapter and it’s 1 am so k need to stop and o will read the last one tomorrow. or later today technically.

chapter 75

last one guys 

wait i totally have not been writing my thoughts

vanity 💔

the hat

evan 💔

"There are a lot more views waiting for you, so go see them. You don't need me to climb," Evan murmurs. "You never did."

sobbing

that was so

ugh i love bizzarestars

[vvh0adie]

Aaahhh 💖 I love youuu 💖 how have you been doing? How's drawing and writing going? Did I miss any new updates btw? 😭

lil big life update ig🙃

WRITER LIFE:

i released Strawberry Kisses which is a cute yoongi fic. some mutual masturbation and miscommunication trope👀 its my most liked fic atm. theres even a drabble for this couple.

i’ve been working on a hobi period sex fic thats already 13k for the 1st part, so its a long series🌚

thinking about doing a drug dealer hobi x stripper reader wip. i already have too many wips. and i wanted to do another hopekook series🤦🏽‍♀️

also working on illumi zoldyck fic after starting a rewatch of hxh (1 of my fav animes). two in the works: one with just illumi and another with illumi/machi/shizuku/reader😭 a fourple?

thinking about BTS blog hiatus so i can focus on KCG bc ppl are asking about my All of Us Are Dead fic. so i need to write the second chapter to that.

[more personal below | tw: race relations]

MINOR PERSONAL LIFE:

need to practice driving😐 my bitch ass is 20yrs and cant drive. im a lil scared no lie bcuz memphis drivers are wild😭 i gotta get my license by november or i have to take the permit test over again😰

im finally starting to do technical labs for biotech/forensics🎉 one step closer to my internship!

a little behind on criminal investigation😞

im a little scared how chemistry 2 is gonna go this year. i dont know whats going on😦 im so lost😭

i started my laptop but never opened clip studio😭 i really wanna draw hobi tho. and i need to make stuff for my shop that i really wanna open. i need motivation😞

thinking about learning to code😭 it seems easy; just a lot of words. i wanna design websites. maybe some BT21 themed. now javascript kinda scares me.

MAJOR PERSONAL LIFE:

overall im doing aight so far this year. could be better i think

ive only cried twice this month😀 having some self-image/identity issues and managing to keep my sanity in check with Black History Month after that police brutality murder here in memphis and Ron Desantis bullying the College Board into turning AP Black History into a whitewashed history and Black Conservatism. i feel too hyperaware of the fuckery that is america. it feels like me and every other black person are the only ones really seeing this shit. its tiring and makes me harbor a different kind of hate in my heart for the concept of whiteness that i didnt even know was there. its somewhat hard to see people’s humanity or feel safe around them. i hate to even say this, but since something major happened january, maybe nothing will happen this summer unlike May 2020. im trying to take it one day at a time tho... hehe

you probably weren’t expecting all that but i figured id turn this into a general post😭 sorry if this was too much, even the non heavy stuff. i know when people ask how someones doing they’re prolly asking for something simple but this feels more like a diary entry than anything.

but thanks for asking, not many people do💖 i hope everyone has a kinder year

[crowhyun]

hi! i hope you're doing well <33

ive never sent an ask but ive been reading your works for a year now and i just wanted to write you a lil love letter (if this sounds selfless, i assure you it's not, i just need more level infinity chapters /j)

Dear Crow,

You're an exceptional writer. You're a bit younger than me but have a way with words and flow that suggests you're older than you are and it's always a joy to read your works. Your mind???? You create the funniest stuff. No one else could write your fics like you do. If level infinity was in anyone else's hands it wouldn't hit the same. I've read a good number of your personal rant posts and I just wanna tell you that you are strong and worthy of love and time 💞. You're in those late teen years where you're trying hard to build yourself up for your future and are doing so well despite what life throws at you. Get out there and show them what a black girl with fam issues can do (friendly quip, i was once that girl 😙).

Now onto your fics.....whooo weeee buckle in. First, since I've mentioned it many times, Level Infinity. Those round, dynamic characters?? You go girl. After reading a new chapter I'm probably thinking about LI!soobin for days (i have such a crush on him and how you've written him lmfaooo). You're doing so well so far and I can't wait to see what happens next!!

I'm actually gonna dedicate a new paragraph to one of my top 5 soobin fics of all time... *drumroll* "My Pet Bloodsucker". Ask me to describe how much I love this fic and you'll get: "hbsdhjbjhdsbjhsHE'SCUTEsjhbjhsdbjANDPOUTYsbjhsbdj, Witches and vampires hello??? lez goooo, so good" Like gen. One of my fav soobin characterizations (also sub soobin >>>>>>>>>) And their relationship turns so cute. How he starts to care (a lot) about what y/n thinks and when he forgets to drink the blood bags even after his time is up. He's so cute in that fic I love it and the plot is fun and engaging.

-

So anyways, I'm trying to be what I wish someone said to me when I wrote kpop fics (opposed to just silent reading/liking) and getting to motivation back to write! Because Crow? Pick up Level Infinity I BEG.

anywho stay hydrated girlie mwah <3

HIIIIIIII! Seeing this message in my inbox made me so happy I swear to you I literally cried. It really surprises me that there are many people who really like level infinity! Like, I guess it's different bcs with my other fics, I get likes, reblogs, and maybe a few comments, but with lvl infinity, yall are REALLY supportive and yall actually talk about it, it just makes me so happy bcs I really like writing it!

I've also noticed that My Pet Bloodsucker is my first fic to reach 1000 notes and AHHHHH i've never felt this accomplished ehehhehe

I'm working on lvl infinity right now, and you can expect the next chapter to be out soon! i can't wait to see yalls reactions to the rest of the chapters lmao its gonna be so happy and fun :D

anyways, thank you so much for sending this! you're allowed to demand for me to post lvl infinity btw i really dont mind its what i need tbh lol

your wish will come true very soonnnnn <3

[doctorweebmd]

We will wait and wait in that space and part 2 of tht series keeps me up at night well i havent read both of them but i read the summaries and the end of part 2 and started crying

you write angst so well omgg

ive read some of ur fics and posts and u seem like a really cool person!!! What do you think is your saddest fic? I'm a sucker for angst. Im reading ur bkdk fics and im like this hits so hard omg

also new mha chapter, if this isnt too much i just wondering what r ur thoughts on it? I saw a recent post from u abt it so im assuming u alr read it or something. Sorry if this is alot!

hahahha oh my gosh thank you! i don't know how i gave off the impression i was cool at all because i am not

hmmm in terms of the saddest one? I'd say its we will wait and wait in that space, hands down. There's such a certain helplessness and hopelessness in loving someone so much, trying to save them over and over and over again, and knowing that the only way they live is if you're not part of their life. for Izuku, who desperately wants to save people, who got his power because he wanted to save Katsuki - urgh. The devastation. If any of them are worth a read for angst specifically, its that one.

ooooffff thank you for asking about the new mha chapter. its a really, really hard question to answer. there's a very melancholic vibe in the classroom, it seems. i feel for izuku. the amount of loss he's suffering through is immense. he failed to save the one person that he promised himself he's try to reach. he lost his quirk, his dream, broke his body to save everyone around him. he saw his heroes, his idols, his friends die and break and mutilate themselves and felt responsible for all of it. he is sixteen years old and the world as he knows it has changed. forever. how can that boy possibly be in a place where he can return to any semblance of normal?

i hope we have a chance to explore his grief. i hope there is a deku vs kacchan part 3, where katsuki beats izuku's 'i'm fine' out of him. i hope he cries and breaks down and tells him just how tired he is of pretending to be strong for everybody else. i hope they finally talk. that izuku acknowledges just how sincerely and completely katsuki admires him and cares for him. i hope that they can hold each other up, support each other. i hope that he can start to forgive himself. i hope, you know?

on that note, i desperately desperately hope that the 'mysterious' figure in the end is Tenko. listen, i've thought a lot about shigaraki's 'death' in the past week and a half. and, as always, i stand with the fact that horikoshi is an excellent writer and whichever way he decides to end this series and his characters is the right way. he has never been careless in the past ten years with these stories, and i dont have a single doubt he'll start now.

i've spent years talking about how shigaraki is by far my favorite antagonist in any anime ever, and that the LoV are, in every sense of the word, the greatest villain team of all time. horikoshi wrote them with as much love and sincerity as he did the heroes. if the choice to kill tomura is deliberate because it hits so hard, then i dont think it was the wrong choice. he stayed a villain until the very end, and we still loved him. we still sympathized with him. he will still haunt the narrative forever. he still was a hero to the villains. he still gave the disenfranchised hope. he still changed the world.

if he's dead, i need him to be grieved. by toga. by touya. by spinner. by izuku. i need him never to fade.

BUT. but. if he lives. if what disappeared was simply his 'vestige' of Decay and his physical body still exists somewhere, Quirkless. If he has a chance to live as Tenko Shimura. free from All for One. From the house that bound him. from the name Shigaraki itself..

i. i can't imagine a more powerful narrative than to give the villains a chance to live. to be cared for. to be loved. to see the world around them and know that it is with their own hands that they changed it. for people like them. for the future. if this is a story about hope, then that is what hope looks like to me.

[chillichats]

58 look away im stupid emotional in this

@fathermooshroom for the sake of your entertainment mr moosh i have written down my thoughts as incomprehensibly and as non filtered as possible, starting right after where i was when i sent the ask

mr moosh you piece of shit what the fuck you cant what no NO THIS IS WHAT TECHNO FEARED THE MOST im gonna be sick im gonna throw up im losing my mind WHY

mr moosh do you understand of course you understand but DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD YOU why would dream do that?? did he get scared from tommy not holding back? hve there been fights since then? is there something going on from dreams point of view that made it so he had to try and get his hands on whtever it was he needed from spiderman as quickly as possible?? he wanted him alive before so what changed? is it related to whatever he was trying to ‘fix’ the first time??? ive gone on a tangent of thoughts while writing this im going back to reading

no.. being about to die is what makes tommy realise he wants to live... god fuck MR MOOSH YOURE RUINING ME D OYOU UNDERSTAND THAT

oh im trying so desperately not to cry but the visuals of kristin and phil finding his cold body the next morning GOD of FUCK yeah no theres no point in trying not to cry its a repeat of the first chapter but its not /lh its /FUCK

*sobbing* yeahb ranboo hed really like it if he could have your leftovers for lunch tomorrow i cant do thi s i canttt

its been a few minutes and ive sort of., usded up all my easily accessible emotions so im numb for noww and im just. in a well of deep horrified empathy for techno and tubbo who are going through all this and they cant even tell anyone else until the worst happens/would happen

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF I THOUGHT MY EMOTIONS WERE GONE I THOUGHT ID USED THEM ALL UP ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ FUCK OFF TOMMY SHUT UP

‘youre not gonna miss us youre just gonna be gone’ techno why do i have to kin you in particular god holding my breath to counteract the sobs but its not working

fuck off with your ‘details’ and your ‘predeath sentiment’ tommy I DONT WANT TO KNOW THAT THEY STARTED CRYING AFTER ELLIE DIED ID ONT I DONT

NO OH GOD WILBUR DOESNT UNDERSTAND BUT IF TOMMY DIES HE WILL AND HE”LL KNOW THAT THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING AND THAET THEY KEPT IT FROM HIM yknow what im gonna leave theories until i reach the end because i stg i refuse to torture myself with ideas that might not even happen

‘theyre scared they wont get another chance’ and another round of tears. MR MOOSH IM NOT NORMALLY EMOTIONAL TO THIS EXTENT WHAT HVAE YOU DONE

‘WE’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING’ OH GOD KRISTIBN YOU WILL BUT NOT THEI WAY YOU THINK OH GOD OHG OD

he knows cyanide causes a painful death and he wants to sleep to try avoid it FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IM NOT I CANT IM WHAT? NO

im tired of capitals im tired of them but god techno’s making me wanna use them so bad you dont undetstand im legitimately bawling

... ‘ Tommy can’t bring himself to understand why someone would want a character—want their creation—to suffer like that’ fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuvk you

....he knows its tommy

[hollyhomburg]

Holy shit, I've just read the most recent chapter of Before I Leave You. I've done nothing but read this story for the past day or two and I'm supposed to have a full time job! It's incredible.

I'm not very good at explaining but I want to try and tell you why I love it. Sorry if I get too deep.

Reading about how they all take care of each other is something I really crave in my own life. Commitment terrifies me but at the same time I want to be able to trust someone enough to lean on them. I don't know how to ask for help and I'm learning how to ask for what I need. Your writing feels healing to me. It makes me think that with communication and patience this could all be possible for me one day.

I particularly enjoy how the main character felt Yoongi's love for the others and adopted that love for them too instead of jealousy. It's a real mature way of handling that situation. I really love reading about their mature relationships, where they're all wanting to learn and grow together. Encouraging communication and understanding of each other so they can be a safe space for each other is so heartwarming and refreshing.

The level of detail you go into makes these characters come to life. How you've taken the time to delve into each of them and give them their own history is just wonderful. I'm deeply invested in Tae's journey. The late night makeup tutorial in the reading room was so beautiful and pure I almost cried. I love it so much. I imagine a future chapter where she starts to refer to Tae as her 'pretty flower' or something and buys her pretty earrings and it fills my heart 🥹. Like the pretty, dangly earrings we sometimes see V wear onstage.

I love how you're exploring the BDSM & d/s themes. You do it with such care and it's really interesting to see it from the main characters' point of view. Her wanting to understand why they like it is such a unique way to explore it. Also Jungkook comparing the alpha's size so casually with the dildos was really funny 🤭.

There's so much more I could say and I really hope you don't feel burdened by my love for this story. If anything I wanted to tell you to keep doing what you're doing, you're clearly an excellent writer. Sharing some of your personal experiences is so brave and I hope you've found some healing in writing it down.

Thank you for sharing your work with us 💜

Ahhhhhhh im so happy that you enjoyed it!!! I cant belive you read all of it in a day or two it’s like 16 or so hours long of full reading, and that’s even without pauses!!!! You should be proud of reading it all so quick

Never apologize for going too deep, I absolutely love reading all of these deep takes on something I also have a lot of deep takes on tbh. If theres one thing ive always hoped when writing bily or any of my fics, its that it encourages everyone that reads them to be softer and more hopefull for the future, no one is truly unlovable to me <3

I think that because the m/c knew about them and kind of saw Yoongi’s love for them in the way that he talked about them in the beginning, that when she met them, she wasn’t diswaded by their initial distaste of her. Im so glad that you’re excited for Tae’s bits- cuz I think the next chapter is going to be mostly Tae focused!!! Hopefully I can get it looking like something of a chapter by next weekend.

As for the sex bits, I think that sex is something that’s a lot more funny than most writers give it credit for and they don’t like- allow variance as far as behavior around it often, like not everyone is going to be a minx and not everyone is going to be shy if that makes sense? Some people will be more sexual around others that they trust, and withdrawing consent happens a lot more frequently than people think.

You’re so welcome, im so happy that this is something that you’ve loved and has touched you so much~ I hope you’ll look forward to the next chapter just as much!

[mandoalorian]

Sugar and Spice [Max Lord x F!Reader] — Chapter 12

Summary: When you are evicted from your apartment by your toxic ex boyfriend and have no place to go, who do you turn to? Alone in the city as the countdown to Christmas begins, you find yourself applying for a job as the assistant of the world’s biggest entrepreneur; Maxwell Lord. Little do you know, he has other intentions for you. No doubt about it, this Christmas will truly be like no other.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Smut, mentions of a previous verbally abusive relationship, typical 80s misogyny (but very little of it), mentions of food and drink, alcohol consumption. This is a sugardaddy x sugarbaby fic soooo… a daddy k!nk too oops.

But in this chapter: food mention, tooth rotting fluff. Our story comes full circle.

Author’s note: Here it is. The final chapter of Sugar and Spice. The Epilogue should be coming soon. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did, and I'd like to thank you all for supporting me and my writing. This was my first ever series and the love I got for it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I love you all so much. (PS— i’m still sick with COVID so I am really really sorry if this is a poor chapter. I tried my hardest. Happy valentines day.)

MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS - CHAPTER TWELVE - EPILOGUE [coming soon!]

The second Maxwell engulfed himself amongst the soft satin blankets of his bed, he knew he was glad to be home. You climbed in beside him, and his eyes raked your body as he took in the sight of your baby pink slip on silk nightgown that you were wearing. He swallowed, and reached over to grab your waist and pull you on top of him. So there you were, straddling your sugar daddy after not seeing him for over a month. You pressed your palms against his bare chest and looked him in the eyes.

"There's something I need to tell you." Maxwell announced, knowing it had to be now or never. He couldn't keep hiding it. After the month in London and Alistair being brought back into his life, a lot had changed for him. He wasn't the same man he was back in December.

"About Ali?" you asked, tracing circles into his skin.

"Well, yeah. But— something else." Maxwell replied, shuffling around slightly. You sensed it was serious due to his tone of voice and your movements paused as you stared dead into his eyes.

"You don't have another secret child, do you?" you deadpanned.

"No!" Maxwell said defensively and you smiled softly. "It's about us."

You braced yourself. He'd been gone for a month, come back with a kid, and you were certain he was going to break the arrangement off with you. You pulled your hands off him and went to crawl off his lap, but his large hands landed on your thighs to hold you down.

"That night after the annual Black Gold Christmas gala… I saw you with Bruce and I got drunk and— my mom— and… I told you… I told you everything. About my father and having absent parents and. I said— I said— I said I was in love with you," Maxwell gulped and it took him every ounce of strength to not break his eye contact with you. He wanted to remain strong. You remembered the night like it was yesterday; clear as day. Of course, how could you forget the moment he said those words? And he hadn't spoken of it since, until now. Between you being held hostage by Tristan and Maxwell being whisked away to London, there'd hardly been an appropriate time to bring it up. "I swore that once I returned from the UK we would talk about this. So, Y/N, I have to tell you that my feelings haven't changed. It's been months, we've been together and apart. We've argued and fought but we've laughed and made love too. We've had distance— hell, I've been on the other side of the world for the past month but not a second has gone by where I haven't thought about you. About loving you, and kissing you, and even if you don't feel the same way, I hope you can forgive me."

"Forgive you?" You asked after a brief silence. You'd been waiting for what felt like a lifetime to hear these words, and yet you were struggling to comprehend them. It didn't feel real.

"For not doing anything or saying anything sooner. I should've said something sooner. I wish I had. I wish… I wish…" Maxwell rambled but you placed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"No," you told him sternly. "No wishing. You don't need to make a wish because— everything is fine just the way it is," Maxwell's heart sank at your words and you watched as his chest deflated. "No!" you cried before trying to clarify. You didn't want him to get the wrong idea. "You have a successful business, and a son, and Max, you have me. You'll always have me. Because I love you too. I'm in love with you Maxwell Lord."

Max's chocolate coloured eyes widened at your confession as disbelief bolted through his body. Never in a million years would Maxwell expect that you would truly love him back. How could he expect anyone to love a man like him? Kitty hadn't. His mother hadn't. But you…

"I love you so much Max," you sighed before pressing a kiss into his lips. You caught a tear slip down his cheek and you quickly wiped it away. "Don't ever apologise for being you. Our story has been a whirlwind so far but it's not over. It's not over Max. I love you."

"I love you too." he whispered, wrapping his arms tight around your body when you kissed him again.

By the time Valentines Day rolled around, you swore it was like Maxwell and Alistair had never spent any time apart. The six year old boy was the spitting double of his father— personality and all.

He dived into your bed and jumped up and down.

"I got a card! Look daddy! I got a card!" Alistair beamed. Maxwell groaned and rolled over, holding a pillow over his head. You smiled tiredly and pulled the little boy into your arms.

"Good morning Ali, where did you get that?" you asked.

"It was on the kitchen table! Look mama, it's for me!" He squealed, pointing at the name that was inked in perfect calligraphy. Your perfect calligraphy. Your heart melted slightly at the little name he'd given you. "Mama". You figured it was something Maxwell had pushed, but he swore he hadn't, and that Alistair had decided that you'd be his mama from now on anyway. Kitty was out of the picture for good now, and you were nicer to him in the past two weeks than Kitty had been to him his whole life. That was the sad truth.

"Oh, so it is." you giggled, pressing a kiss into Alistair's forehead. You rolled over slightly and pat the middle of the bed, gesturing for Alistair to come and lay down in between you and his father.

"I only ever get cards like this on my birthday and Christmas. And today is neither of those days." Alistair pondered out loud, tapping his index finger against his chin as he thought. Just like his daddy.

"Do you know what day it is, Ali?" you beckoned.

You realised Maxwell must've finally woken himself up when his hand reached over to hold yours, his thumb circling your skin. You glanced over to him and saw that his big brown eyes were watching his son.

"Ummm…"

"It's the only day of the year where I can do this," Maxwell interrupted, pressing his lips against yours and kissing you. His sudden action was enough to take your breath away and Alistair went to make a noise of disgust. But Maxwell pulled away from your lips and placed a hand over his son's mouth. "And you, mister, can't do that!" he chastised, wiggling his finger with a chuckle.

"But daddy, kissing is yucky!" Alistair frowned, sticking his tongue out in dismay. You rolled your eyes, pulled the little boy on top of you and pressed another kiss into his forehead. Since you had a hold of him, Maxwell took the opportunity to tickle Alistair, erupting a scream of laughter. "Dad-daddy! Aaah daddy please!" Alistair laughed, kicking his legs and flailing his arms around.

"Have you worked out what day it is yet?" you asked the little boy once he'd settled back down. A small blush crept upon his cheeks.

"Va-valentines day?" Alistair asked, his voice timid.

"Are you telling me that my son Alistair has a valentine?" Maxwell gasped jokingly and Alistair's grin only grew wider with excitement.

"Can I open it?" Alistair giggled happily.

"Go on!" you laughed, giving him a small nudge.

You and Max both watched intently as Alistair opened the card. Of course, you had purchased the card and wrote it out. But seeing the excitement on Alistair's face when he read ‘love from your secret admirer’ was undefeatable. It was magical, and it filled your heart with so much love and joy. Alistair was new to your life, just as new as he was to Maxwell's, but if one thing was for sure, it was that you loved him just as much as you'd love your own child. And that wasn't lost on Maxwell.

He honestly expected you might have left him. Or grown distant upon learning that he had a son. But once again, you had proven Maxwell Lord IV wrong. You were unlike any other woman he'd ever met, and now that he had the two most important people in his life, he felt like he could accomplish anything. Nothing else mattered anymore. Just you and Alistair.

"My son, only six years old and already has a secret admirer!" Maxwell chuckled, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around Alistair. "But you'll always be my boy, won't you Ali?"

"Yes daddy." Alistair smiled a toothy grin.

"Us Lord men… we always get the ladies." Maxwell told his son, causing you to belly laugh. Maxwell shot you a joking glare and you tried to stifle any more of your giggles.

"On that note," you rolled your eyes and slid out of bed. "How does pancakes for breakfast sound?"

Both Maxwell and his son cheered with joy at the thought of pancakes. You remembered you even had some strawberries and cream left over from the night before which would go well with it. You pulled your silk robe over you and padded to the kitchen.

"Do you remember the plan?" Maxwell whispered quietly once you'd left the room, cradling his son.

"I do." Alistair beamed snuggling into his father's chest. Maxwell smiled a little.

"Tonight, yeah? After dinner." Maxwell reminded his son.

"Do you love her?" Alistair quizzed further, and Max's smile grew even more.

"I do," Max confessed. "More than anything."

"I think she loves you too." Alistair said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I see the way she looks at you," Alistair mumbled. "Like how Ariel looks at Prince Eric."

"Wh-who?" Max furrowed his eyebrows together and Alistair's jaw dropped slightly.

"Okay daddy. We're all watching The Little Mermaid after dinner." Alistair decided in that moment, his tone of voice leaving no room for question.

Maxwell quirked an eyebrow. "Really? And who put you in charge?"

"I'm a Lord," Alistair said proudly. "Besides, someone has to watch over you two lovebirds. Make sure you don't get yourself in trouble."

Maxwell couldn't believe the six year old boy. Alistair was definitely Maxwell's son, that's for sure.

Just as you were finishing up frying the last pancake, the kitchen phone began to ring. You answered it, surprised to hear the voice of your lawyer— or more accurately, Maxwell's lawyer. You had been using him to defend yourself on the case between you and Tristan. He had told you that Tristan was going to be locked away for a very long time, and that you'd won the case. A wash of relief flooded over you, and finally, things were beginning to look up for you and your little family.

You called down Alistair and Maxwell once breakfast was ready, and you served the heart shaped pancakes at the table. Maxwell came down a few minutes later than Alistair and he was holding on envelope. When he sat down opposite you, he passed you the envelope with a smug grin on his face.

"What's this?" you asked curiously, and Maxwell shrugged his shoulders casually as he sipped on his black coffee. He hadn't stopped smirking though. "Maxie, we agreed on no gifts this year?" you sighed, already feeling bad for not getting him anything.

"Baby, it's not exactly a gift. I mean, it's something for both of us. Something that's important to you and well… just open it, please." he urged.

You hesitated, exchanging a glance between Max and Alistair (who was already neck deep in pancakes), before sighing and opening the envelope. Inside was a letter from a retail agent? As you read the letter, your heart began to slam against your chest. No way.

"Max… you bought my old apartment building? The whole building?" you gasped, slamming your hand over your mouth in disbelief. "You bought it in both of our names?"

"Because I knew how much it meant to you. And how much your neighbours meant to you. They were all mistreated by Tristan, and that isn't okay. I bought the property from the council so we're the rightful owners now. And we won't overcharge rent like Tristan did. We don't need to. We'll refurbish the whole place. We'll give the families who live there a safe place that they can call home, and they won't have to worry about any abuse from Tristan, or their utilities falling apart, or bills… it'll be wonderful."

"Maxwell I- I don't know what to say I…" you were utterly speechless, tears filling your eyes. Obviously this was going to cost him a lot of money and a lot to upkeep, but for the first time, it felt like it wasn't even about money. It was a grand gesture, sure, but it was also the most thoughtful and unexpected thing he'd ever done for you.

"I love you." Max revelled and you smiled.

"I love you too." you replied, leaning over the table and pressing a kiss into his lips. You glanced back down at the letter, admiring the way your surname and Max's surname looked together on the sheet of paper.

At the start of December you didn't even own a car. You couldn't even pay rent. Now you were living in a suburban manor with your perfect little family. Amongst a little bit of sugar and a little bit of spice, you had found love, meaning and purpose. You'd found your soulmate.

Just as you thought your life was good and couldn't get any better, you didn't realise what Maxwell Lord had in store for you this evening. Your whole world was about to change.

---

Sugar and Spice taglist: @100layersofdaddyissues @mrschiltoncat @honeymandos @thisisthe-wayson @this-cat-is-dea @blonde2bomshell @maiyaaaa0130 @autumnleaves1991-blog @justanotherblonde23 @softly-sad @laaadygisbooornex3 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @drinkingwhileblogging @kesskirata @honestlystop ​ @promiscuoussatan

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja190 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @martellthemandalor

[frostios]

Since you read a lot of fics... ya got any good underrated ones?

UHH im not sure what constitutes underrated but i can send a little list of fic recs ive put in my discord before. fair warning that theyre all frenrey and also make sure you read the tags of them for potential triggers!

because you’re like a fever dream but twice as sweet 

xen hivemind and tries to get rid of benrey, also a sickfic kinda. honestly rec any of the hlvrai fics purplecatghost posts because theyre very nice

next life over

unfinished but i really like it still. 6 months post canon, gordon and benrey live together, and gordon suddenly gets sent back in time to another universe where he doesnt exist and the events of hlvrai are about to take place. In the present, benrey kinda freaks out

in this part of the woods

another purplecatghost one. cw for unreality! theres not TOO much frenrey in this one but i looove the idea sm it has supernatural themes in it

make a cup of coffee for your head

domestic fluff of frenrey just having a nice morning together. you know i love it

good morning

MORE FLUFF of benrey waking up before gordon and just being very sappy. did make me feel many emotions

Kaiju Blue Player 2

THIS has to be my favorite hlvrai fic to date. Pacific Rim au. I literally cannot put into words how much I love it and the ending made me actually cry so take that as you will. 

Conditions

more domestic fluff. this one is very sweet and a short and concise read for your usually frenrey forgiveness fic. It makes me feel warm and comforted and is one of my favorites

Disconnect

I’ve linked this one before along with the art I made for it but i really enjoy it! cw for disassociation and panic attacks

Enigmatic Candy Flavored Contextual Feeling Orbs

Another one of my fave fics!! Still regularly updating. Another Gordon has to deal with benrey living with him but also asks Tommy to teach him the sweet voice without benrey knowing so he can understand him better. And Benrey’s got a big fat crush

Becoming Human

This one is still ongoing and regularly updating. Benrey loses most of his powers and has to deal with being a normie and gordon has to deal with living with him. Make sure to be aware of the tws at the start of each chapter because there is some violence between the two, but it does get better for them

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Benrey ‘flirts’ a lot so when he actually accidentally confesses to Gordon, Gordon doesn’t believe him. Chef Kiss

we can get there if we try

POKEMON AU WAHOOO. Gordon is an ex-field researcher but when Tommy and Benrey come find him to get him to help them find mew, he can’t resist saying yes. It’s a very fun read and is still regularly updating!

Night from Hell

you will read emmys fic right now. Borrower’s au! Gordon is the little dude living in Tommy and Benrey’s walls

Fish Boyfriend? In MY Lagoon?

you will read tuna’s fic right now. Mermaid au! Gordon is stationed at a beach to monitor the water for reasons he isn’t too aware of and meets Benrey

I’ll Never Find Another You

you will read rem’s fic right now. Goes into gordon and benrey meeting as teens and also showcases the rest of the science team. 

[aclosetfan]

8

And Np

(ask game)

haha dude you’re like my new best friend now lmao thanks so much for being interested enough to ask about my dumb ideas!

Eight is titled “Artistic Aspirations” which isn’t a creative title at all. It’s another multi-chapter, no powers au, blues fic!! Personally, I think it's too safe and boring to write. The story spans a few years; I’ve shortened the outline to make it readable, but it still ended up being too long, sorry.

Background on the girls at the start of the story:

Bubbles is 21 and a broke, struggling artist finishing/right out of undergrad. Lives in Cityville. she’s on the verge of having to crawl home to her family with her tail between her legs

BC is 23 and finishing her physical therapy program in Townsville. Still lives with the Professor, but she practically lives full time at her boyfriend's place. She’s semi-neurotic about her relationship, not because it’s unstable, but b/c she thinks it’s too good to be true. Butch, for what it’s worth, doesn’t blink an eye—just a chill dude in this one. VERY into BC.

Blossom is 25 and starting her law career. Lives on the East Coast, working for a successful firm. Would like to move back home at one point, but she hasn’t really had the “right” reason to.

Plot (under the cut!)

It opens with Bubbles at a diner waiting for her sisters at their regular booth. Life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine like she had hoped. At the diner, Buttercup announces that she and her long-term boyfriend are finally engaged! Bubbles has met Butch plenty of time as well as Brick, Butch’s older brother, but she has yet to meet his youngest brother. In fact, Bubbles doesn’t even know his name. Butch just affectionately refers to him as “my dumbass little brother,” which Brick (a defense lawyer here in Townsville) wholeheartedly agrees with. Butch has also said “he’s into all that artsy stuff like you. Draws and shit.”

Until they finally meet at the wedding

He wasn’t there for the wedding rehearsal because his flight was delayed—he was somewhere “fancy” according to Butch b/c of some “art thing, idk, he’ll be here.” “He better be!” Cries HIM, who is one of Butch’s dads, but Bubbles doesn’t really know how exactly b/c everyone is adamant that HIM and Mojo (their other eccentric father) have never once been in a relationship

So when Bubs finally meets the brother she’s walking down the aisle with, she—a person who has an undergrad degree in art (haven’t decided what kind yet lol)—is like WAIT BOOMER JOJO THE BOOMER JOJO?!?! He’s like, “lol sup” and she loses her mind because Butch’s dumbass little brother doesn’t just “draw and shit,” he’s actually an art world prodigy, who despite being very young and very alive, is considered very renowned in major art circles.

(Not Banksy per se, but he’s like one of those Bad Boy artists that would make other artists roll their eyes) (also a man of many projects but doesn’t have the follow-through for a lot of them—which if he wasn’t so good at the stuff he actually finishes, would bite him in the ass; he’s flaky, gets bored easily).

Bubbles is amazed she hasn’t made the connection between the brothers and Boomer just laughs.

There’s, quite predictably, an instant connection between the blues. Butch, who cares for his sister-in-law, is like “Bubs don’t date my brother. He’s not mature enough to be dating anyone.” And Bubbles doesn’t listen!! Because she’s desperate for love and this could also mean she’s finally getting her big break!! Their relationship is really intense and Boomer does end up getting her a nice cushy job at some indie gaming company that he’s dipping his toes in. But just a quick as the flame is lit, it goes out. Boomer gets bored, Bubbles’ art isn’t being taken seriously, and she ends up getting fired for creative differences. Fired and despondent, she gets her break-up text from Boomer the next day. The day after that, he’s dating a model.

Absolutely crushed, Bubbles packs up her bags, leaves his apartment, and moves back in with the Professor. Butch and Buttercup (and Brick—but he’s at work) are ready to kick ass. Bubbles though would rather forget about it and holes up in her childhood bedroom. Eventually, BC gets her out of the room, brings her to Butch and her’s home, and is like “listen I know you’re heartbroken, but ima need you to do something for me—“ and Bubbles is like omg srsly?? Right now?? And BC is like “I need a mural on that wall, something cutesy, ya kno a stork or something?” And Bubbles is about to snap but then, she's like WAIT A STORK!!! And a new baby on the way really brings Bubbles out of her stupor—it gets her painting again. (Bubbles is full of love and you can’t tell me she doesn’t love babies)

So the mural is a hit at the baby shower and Robin (longtime best friend, also pregnant), is like Bubbles please paint me one, and her partner Princess is like MONEY IS NO OBJECT IF ROBIN WANTS IT SHE GETS IT. And then, subsequently, Robin’s (and Princess’s) mural takes off in the rich, white lady community, and soon enough Bubbles is being commissioned for more than just Baby Murals. Princess goes around bragging that she was the one who “discovered her,” and becomes Bubbles' “business agent.”

Basically, Bubbles is on the rise. As opposed to Boomer, who is on the fall. He’s hit an art block. It’s really bad. His melancholy is really bad. Very much plays the “woe is me" card. Hasn’t been back to Townsville in a while, so when his nephew (who he’s met briefly over facetime lol) turns one, he decides to fly in for his birthday.

Plans to mope and bum off his brothers for a bit, but is shocked to see Bubbles, who he then realizes he shouldn’t be so shocked to see. Has a ream “this was a mistake, she’ll make scene” moment, but Bubbles greets him as if nothing between them had ever happened (LIKE A QUEEN). Boomer takes this personally. Then Boomer meets Princess, who gloats about Bubbles, and then, looks at the award-winning boy and goes, “so anyway, who are you again?”

This pisses Boomer off even more and then, over the course of the week he stays with the greens, this anger builds up. He eventually takes it out on Bubbles, like, “you wouldn’t be who you are without me.”

[cue that one blinking gif] Bubbles goes off. Boomer storms off. Romance is in the air.

Jk

[well I guess the reds are hitting it off, but that’s c-plot and who cares]

Princess isn’t privy to this growing resentment and only sees an Opportunity™. She reaches out to Boomer’s agent. Then, she reaches out to a museum, and is like “I’ve got the most BITCHING exhibit for you.” Then, she tells Bubbles about the gig she booked for her.

Bubbles and Boomer are like no way am I doing a collab with them. Boomer’s agent is like “chief ima be real with you, it’s this or nothing.” Princess looks at Bubbles and tells her to suck it up. So, they end up working together, which means Boomer is back in Townsville.

Cue lovers to enemies to friends back to lovers speedrun. Hello yes.

Because they’re forced to collaborate, because Bubbles is more confident, and because Boomer has been knocked down a peg or two, they actually (finally) get to know each other on a personal level. And being closer to family helps Boomer, in some ways, mature. It’s a whole connecting back to your roots “ive grown and im better now” character development for Boomer.

Ends ambiguous ;) but it's happy.

[pen-observing]

My Only One iii

Diavolo and you have been together for a century. While time flies, the last decade has not been kind to either of you. He is about to become the King and while you have subjected yourself to transformations, just to live with your beloved, the pressure is unending. You live your life publicly. It is no luxury. Not having an heir when 100 years have passed tears you apart- just as much as it divides those that you inevitably rule. A solution comes like the last ray of hope. Go to an enchanted fortress used for fixes of the worst kind. Subject yourself to even more hexes to have the possibility of producing an heir. It’s just for a year. A short time for those immortal. A long time for those in a complex relationship, especially when for the sake of efficiency, letters are the only means of communication you are allowed to have with outsiders. 

Warnings: none

i / ii / _  / iv

When was the last time you felt something good? When was the last time you felt a spark of positivity, a light? You did not know and neither did Karasu. The truth is that Karasu has never observed you with such watchful eyes; has never felt such pity upon your soul.

Karasu did not dare to leave your side.   Someone, anyone, had to witness your existence in that utter solitude for you to remain halfway sane.  

What does humanity mean in these moments of helpless weeping and fighting?

To you? It meant a mask of stability in front of those that experimented on you. It was the last thing you could grasp. You put up with everything silently; with a blank stare as the witches questioned about your state.  

Short answers. Fake smiles. Lifeless eyes.  

They noticed something was wrong but they did not care enough to question about matters outside of their job. Why would they be surprised about weakness some human carried? It was inevitable after all- in their eyes and hearts you possessed no strength to redeem you as a future ruler.  

You noticed that their mannerism nonchalantly spoke those inner thoughts. The watchful eyes noticed their behaviour, Karasu’s ears overheard their gossip. They had no right to judge you at all. They had absolutely no idea about how you fought for an inkling of sanity. Karasu sometimes felt scared of you. Nothing in all these years was as broken as you were.

Your room became a place of chaos. Nothing was in place. There was no order.  Clothes were scattered around- some of them ripped.   The walls had thin marked lines that your nails made- in moments when you were sure sanity was leaving completely while mocking you.  

Perhaps, what was even more concerning was the fact that the only place to remain somewhat orderly was the desk in front of the window. Was this place the only chance you had to remember your past glory? Past happiness? Past hope?

Some nights you just cried without uttering a word. Internally cursing the fact that the love you thought you had was not pure as love itself ought to be. Some nights you laughed at yourself for being so stupid, so idiotic, so human. Some nights exhaustion would settle in and force you to sleep while nightmares surrounded your dream land and real life.  

Karasu had no way of helping you. Karasu desperately wished its wings could hold down at least some part of your sadness. It was impossible. Karasu thought you were impossible.

The diary started back when you were living for the hope of love was damaged. It was filled with tear stains and smudged lines. It had curses written- Diavolo’s name scribbled and then crossed. It had nothing but pain inside. For where did agony lie if not between those pages your hands desperately filled?

You did all of that yet remained stoic when questioned about the fertility treatment? You did all of that yet you remained static every time a new letter from Diavolo would find its way to you?   How could you live like this?   Barely.   How could you act like this?   Was this humanity?

Every letter you received was longer than the previous one by a paragraph. His guilt was increasing. He must have carried on with the affair. Diavolo was trying to build a false lullaby. The letters only tantalized you. They were obnoxiously showing sweet words as a lie.   Everything that Diavolo did was utterly wicked.  

Yet, so were you.

Writing letters back making sure they were not filled with passive-aggressive motions. Deciding on just the perfect length to maintain the image of unsuspecting. It took practice to lie like that. It took so much time and energy to word them properly. It took Karasu everything to look over them and make sure they were fitting. Karasu was loyal to you- not to Diavolo.  

On another starry night was when Karasu dared to ask something other than words of concern. It happened just as you were sealing the envelope shut after realising how much the words at the top of the paper- ‘To my only one’- were losing power in your heart.

“Why...do you continue on with this torture that you are living?”

Sealing it neatly and setting it on the table; you extended a hand towards your old friend. It felt cold. Usually Karasu would scold you for petting with icy hands but when your life was undeniable misery- it could be forgiven.

“You ask me why. You should know already. I have to be strong.”

Forget the position of the future ruler- you must be strong yourself, my dear.

Karasu did not question you after that. This was seemingly your only way of dealing with the cruel game lady luck played.

This continued on. You needed a final push to regain some control over the sanity that seemed to be slipping in and out of shaky hands.  

And it happened. It came. Its bells victoriously rang welcoming you back to life.  

Month five marked the arrival of two letters. The golden one was from Diavolo; as usual. The other one in a charming black envelope; scented in roses, oh so nostalgic: finally grounded you.  

The brothers. It was from the brothers.   In a rush you opened it first. Gold details only decorated lies. How could you forget that you still had pact marks manifested on your skin? Such a fool. They could feel an inkling of how you suffered all this time.

The letter was short- forget that- it seemed like a note. They were almost never open with their feelings, there was no need for them to write long words that would drip honey and magic dust. They were not guilt ridden.  

All that the black envelope contained was a photo of all 8 of you, in the garden of the house. You were all so content. You were so happy. Doing them favours just to snap this memory was not.easy.at.all. 

This was taken before Diavolo. This was taken when you were just a human; just yourself, without the title of future ruler hanging over every.single.thing. It was taken when romantic ties to Diavolo were non-existent and therefore could not choke you. 

You smiled gently at it. Karasu saw the light in your eyes chase away the shadows.  

On the back of the photo; written out in Lucifer’s beautiful cursive letters but conveying all of their feelings were words that meant more than anything Diavolo could say.

“Come back to us. The way that you were, the way that you are.” 

You knew what the meaning was. Regard. Care. Acceptance. All in honesty.

And indeed, my dear, you will.

(Aqua didn’t you say it would be a two fic chapter, then three and now there is more? Uhm...Well, indeed, my dear, I did- however I get carried away while writing sometimes so.. this way it seems easier. Please tell me what you think! Does this fic even make you feel anything? I try to focus more on your feelings than Diavolo.)

[jawritter]

When The Lights Go Out

Chapter 6

Summary: Life hasn’t been your best friend lately, you lost your job, and are on the verge of losing your apartment. Who knew when you decided to join a Sugar Daddy app that your best friend suggested ina last ditch effort to save your apartment, and not end up on the street, your first and only client would turn your whole world upside down.

Pairing: Mobster!Dean Winchester x Virgin! Reader

Word Count: 2203

Series Warnings: Mob level violence, injured Dean, description of injury, creepy Godfather John Winchester, John is pretty much a douche bag, escort services, virgin reader, lose of virginity and all the insecurities and fun stuff that come with it, age gap (23 year old reader; 40 year old Dean), angst, unrequited/requited love?, language, smut, unprotected smut.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Hurt!Dean, description of injury, blood, swearing, John is a dick, regret. I think that’s it. 

A/N: Beta’d by @deanwanddamons! Thanks so much love!! Please don’t copy my work!! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!! It’s gonna be a little bit of a slow burn y’all, but just hang in there!

(This fic is based on this request: Could you do a Dean x reader where she is 23 and lives alone in her apartment, she gets fired and can loose her house, her friend tells her about a sugar daddy app, she makes a profile and Dean 40, contacts her, she is virgin and don’t offers sex, Dean is billionaire business man and needs a girl for his business parties,the reader is really shy, blushes a lot, they fall in love, he takes her to a trip and makes love to her on a private island, could it be a series?)

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

Sitting in the chair that was facing the window that looked out on the dark lawn below from Dean’s room, you shove the peppermint tea that Jess had brought up to you a little further away. She was just trying to make you better, and you knew that, but you didn’t think there was anything anyone could do to make you feel better. Especially when none of them knew what was really wrong with you. They all thought that you were just nervous about Dean’s job today, but that was so far from the truth.

Dean’s little revelation before he disappeared in the bathroom was the last thing he’d  said to you last night, and when you finally cried yourself to sleep, you were pretty sure he’d just chosen to sleep in the bathroom and not come out to talk to you. 

He was so angry that you were scared to go and try to talk to him, and when you woke up this morning, Dean and John were already long gone. 

A knock on the door and Jess’ entry pulled you from your thoughts as she made her way to sit down on the chair next to you. 

“Hey you. How are you holding up?”

You shook your head and tried to stop the stinging tears that threatened to spill over the surface from falling.

“I’m okay, just stressed.” you lied, pulling your blanket up to your neck like it could hide your shame. If something happened to Dean today, you’d never forgive yourself. He’d done and given so much to keep you safe, and you pretty much told him last night that you hoped he died. God how you wanted to take it all back, do it all different. 

“John and Dean will be just fine. High table meetings are always stressful and dangerous, because the Campbells will be there, and they like to cause problems with John.They still blame him for Dean and Sam’s mom’s death in that house fire, but this isn’t like it’s something they haven’t dealt with before, and by tonight he will be here, safe and sound.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat you nod your head. You hoped with everything in you that she was right, and that they would make it home. You didn't understand all of this stuff, but you knew that if you became John’s you were probably fucked in ever since of the word, if you even lived through the guilt of never giving Dean the chance he deserved. 

You made a promise to yourself, that if he lived through this, and everything worked out okay, you’d give him that chance. Let yourself fall for him like you were doing before you were forced to move in here. Maybe even get to be happy with him.

Jess put a comforting hand on our shoulder and stood from her seat. 

“Sam and I are about to have a Friends marathon in the living area. Want to join us?” she asked, and you forced a smile in return.

“Maybe in a little bit. I think I’m gonna try and take a shower, see if I can scald away some of this stress.” you tell her, and she gives you a warm smile before leaving you to your thoughts. 

Unwrapping yourself from your cocoon of blankets, you wander your way to the bathroom. You didn’t even have time to start the shower, when you heard a blood curdling  scream from the down stairs part of the house. 

Your heart stopped in your chest, and you ran towards the staircase, coming to the landing just in time to see John and Sam hauling a very bloody Dean through the front door, and towards what they called the medical area of the house. 

For just a moment you were rooted in your spot, unable to make your feet move, as absolute horror gripped you.

You don’t even know really what made feet move, but you numbly made your way towards the yelling, not even really paying attention to what they were saying or the man in a suit that ran past you toward him, though you did note that they were calling him Nick.

When you entered the room the horror that greeted you made the bile rise in your throat. 

They had Dean stretched out on a table, his shirt ripped open, blood pouring from his stomach in a way that you couldn’t really even see the injury, but you knew it was bad. Nick circled the table, yelling commands at Sam that you didn’t even hear over the ringing in your ears.

Nick's British accent was cut off by John’s deep voice, bringing you back to your senses.

“Y/N! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, AND COMFORT MY SON! KEEP HIM CALM!”

Your attention snapped from the long, deep gash in Dean’s stomach, to the green eyes that were boring into yours. 

Violence isn't something you were accustomed to. You had never seen anyone hurt that bad in real life, but aside from the blood, and the gore of the cut, it was the hurt in his eyes that made your heart shatter. 

He was staring at you, his eyes almost as red as his stomach, the piercing green duller than normal, eyes wet as if he wanted to cry, but wouldn’t allow himself to. 

You staggered a step towards him, and Dean lifted his hand shakily in our direction. That just made it all hurt worse. 

Grabbing his hand in yours, you card your fingers through his hair, keep your eyes locked on his, as Nick and Sam move around behind you, keeping your back to the wound on Dean’s stomach, and focusing on his face, John standing over your shoulder, watching everything closely. 

“Dean, oh my God, I’m so, sorry.” you said in almost a whisper, shock evident in your voice. 

Dean didn’t answer, just gritted his teeth, and closed his eyes against the pain radiating through his body.

“Gonna have to stitch him up here John. He’s not going to make it to a hospital, but it doesn’t look like anything internal was damaged.” Nick said, and John just nodded above you. 

“You...You’re not going to put him to sleep?” you ask as Nick and Sam prepared needles full of brown liquid.

“Can’t do that. He’s lost too much blood, but don’t worry sweetheart, we’re gonna numb him up real good.” Nick said, Jess made her way to the other side of Dean’s head across the table. 

“Nick’s the family doctor of shorts. Everything’s gonna be fine.” she tries to assure you. 

You try and keep the horror and trembling under control. Focusing on Dean’s eyes, you see one large tear roll down his face as Nick and Sam move closer to his wound. His grip tightens on your hand, but he didn’t scream at what surely was the unbearable pain of the needles entering his wound before the numbing medicine could spread. Sam worked at putting an IV in his free arm next to Jess. 

Once the shots were done it seemed like it took them forever to stitch up him, and Dean’s eyes were getting heavy.  Nick assured you it was just the morphine, and not the blood loss. 

“What went wrong out there?” Sam asked, helping Nick wrap his brother’s wound once the stitching was done with thick antibiotic ointments, and gauze 

“Believe it or not, that didn’t happen at the meeting. We stopped to get gas at a station just outside of town, and some of Sammual’s boys jumped him. They weren't all that happy about the high tables approval of Y/N here, and they thought they’d take it out on Dean.”

Sam gritted his teeth and nodded his head. 

“Don’t worry son this isn’t over, they will pay for this.” John assured him, and Jess put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. 

“You on the other hand,” John said, leering at you as Nick finished up Dean’s wound, “clean up my son! Make sure he’s taken care of! He is your responsibility. If something happens to him, I swear to God your next.” 

John left the room his heavy footsteps echoing as Nick and Sam lifted Dean carefully in front of the table they’d been working on him on. Making their way up the stairs, and into your shared room they laid him down carefully on the bed, before Nick hooked up the bags of fluid and a bag of antibiotics to his IV.

Dean barely moved, or acknowledged what they were doing to him, which scared you, but no one else seemed concerned. 

“I’ll be back in four hours to give him another round of Morphine. I’ll go grab some Ambian to help him stay asleep. He needs the rest. Don’t worry sweetheart, he’s going to be just fine.” Nick said, giving you a pat on the back before disappearing to go and get the sleeping aid he’d referred to, returning only long enough to give it to him, and leave. 

Crawling carefully in the bed next to you, you carded your fingers through Dean’s tousled hair, his green eyes fluttering open to look at you. 

“I’m sorry Dean, this is all my fault, and I’ve treated you horribly. I wish I could take it all back.” you tell him, tears falling freely down your face as his hand reaches for you like a scared child that has been hurt, looking for comfort. 

“S’Okay, I shouldn’t have snapped at you last night. This hasn’t been easy for you, I know that. I’m just glad I didn’t die before I got to see you again.” he mumbled, his eyes heavy as he fought against the medication.

Carefully as possible, you slip your arm around his head, pulling him close to you as he loses the battle against consciousness. 

You had a second chance with Dean, and you were determined not to fuck it up this time, this time you would be everything he deserved. 

The sound of your bedroom door opening caught your attention as light flooded the dark room where Dean and yourself were laying. Sam’s overly tall figure slipped inside, and shut the door behind him before making his way to the bed with the small desk chair in tow, sitting it next to his brother's side of the bed, before flopping down in it. 

Dean was not a small man by any means, but next to his “little” brother, he looked so small, especially laying on the bed with his stomach sewn shut, and an IV leading from his arm. 

“Did you finish getting him undressed?” Sam asked, and you suddenly felt stupid. You didn't even think about his slacks and shoes that were still on his feet. 

“Oh God, I didn’t think about that.” You said, ripping the cover off of him as gently as you could, and working to take his shoes off as Sam stood and help you undo his slacks, slipping them down his long bowed legs, leaving him just in his tight, black boxers before the two of you covered him back up, and you settle back down next to him.

“You know, John catches you in here, it's my ass. You heard what he said.” you tell Sam in a hushed whisper, and Sam chuckled darkly. 

“Don’t worry about John. He better not tell me shit about coming to check on my brother.” Sam said darkly, and that for some reason was laced with a promise more lethal than anything John had said downstairs. 

“Why did they do this Sam, why do they hate him so much.” you ask, watching as Dean shifted closer to you in his sleep, unconsciously  seeking comfort from you, even through all the drugs they had him on. 

“Because Samual Cambell is a narcissistic dick who can’t let the past go.” Sam said darkly.

“He still blames your dad for your mom’s death?” you ask, settling Dean’s head back on your shoulder. 

“Yep, that’s some of it. Some of it is  he’s just a heartless dick, who wants to have all the power. He hated my dad even when my mom was alive from what I’m told. I don’t really remember as she died when I was just a baby. I can tell you this, no man in his right mind would put a death order on his own fucking grandson, much less the son of John Winchester. He will pay for this Y/N, I promise you. Just worry about getting Dean better. We will take care of the rest.” Sam said, standing up from his chair, and making his way towards the door, stopping just short of opening it.

“You know, Dean really does love you, I’ve never seen him like this before. I just feel like you needed to hear that.” Sam said, before disappearing into the hallway. 

God, you hoped he was telling the truth, because right now, you were pretty sure you had fallen from him the moment you climbed out of his SUV, and you were too big of a coward to admit it to yourself, until you almost lost him.

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