#ive never actually been on the site. idk how it is

[qasian-tech-support]

The loss of forums is also part of why you have to add "reddit" to the end of search queries on Google to find any human answers to your questions, instead of article and article of AI generated slop. Go and create your own forums for shit, and fight back against Discord

[hell0mega]

hey this is a longshot but. if you're currently enrolled in online college and currently taking a Myths class and you commented on some blonde person's longass intro video back in august that your favorite show was good omens? that was my video. i hadn't watched go at that point but i did like a few days later and now it's absolutely all i think about.

[cryptidapprentice]

[headspace-hotel]

I looked it up and apparently ive never seen a forest older than ~70 years. idk how long I thought those trees had been there but... longer than that.

We really need to have different words for different stages of forest, because people think of a forest with tall trees you can walk through as "restored/rehabilitated" habitat even though all the trees in it are Baby. So many people have never actually seen a mature forest—and old forests have unique characteristics and complexity that young ones don't.

So many species definitely went extinct when we clear cut the Eastern USA.

The time it takes to get to something you would call "woods" is shorter than people think. If you stop maintaining a plot of land when you're 20, you will have "woods" by the time you're 40.

I think we both focus on old growth forests too much and not enough. We need to preserve old growth forests, but we shouldn't count young forests as a casualty or as replaceable either.

I think a big reason why we have so many hostile, lifeless spaces like big swathes of unused lawn grass is that people see "nature" as already "gone" from there—the damage is "already done."

And I've noticed that few people are studying the ecology of these spaces, because nothing could possibly be of value to study in a weedy lawn or a parking lot, right?

But...well, okay, there's this myth that conservation is all, like, preserving these places like old-growth forests that are being increasingly encroached upon—I mean it's in the name, conservation—and as a result, people don't really look at their "developed" surroundings and see something that is a potential site for a restored ecosystem, instead of something already gone to be mourned over. But the conservation victories of the 70's and 80's involved turning a lot of poisonous wastelands into the beginnings of pristine ecosystems, and people who don't know any better will look at these habitats that used to be a smoking crater of capitalist destruction and think "Awww how sad that there are so few of these untouched habitats left..."

The idea of "untouched" nature is its own lie that has a billion problems with it, but that's another post

[littlewigglers]

two questions! 1 how often are your pedes active? i have a texas giant (narceus americanus) and it feels like she's rarely awake except when i wake her up / i feed her and she gets woken up, (she's very very friendly and is comfortable being woken up and will crawl onto me) 2 where did you get your african giants.... ive been wanting one for ages but i can never find them online

Depends on the species, I've some that are super active out literally all the time up to SOMETHING and I've had some in the past where I'd gasp and rush to tell my friend if I saw because it had been 1 month since I'd seen them. If she's sleeping all the time it could be - She's cold - She's old - She's 'lonely' Idk if bugs actually get lonely but me and my friend have noticed millipedes seem to get a bit more active if there's at least one other in the tank with them, it could be they just feel safer or having something else moving in the tank makes them move more? Idk.

For my Giants I got them from a UK site after asking them about them and they let me know when they were planning to stock them so I was able to get them before they all got sold out. So that's likely your best bet it ask around online groups what shops they buy from or look up shops in your country yourself and email those sites/shops if they plan to ever stock them. Be aware though some people will try to charge you like $100+ for one. I got mine for £15 each. I will say be careful when getting them because 99/100 times they're wild caught and I personally would rather captive bred as they just always have lived longer for me. Also you've no idea of health or age from wild caught, also mits... oh the mits. I got my 3 because I REALLY want to breed them, I'd really love to be able have a stable amount for people to have in the future that aren't wild caught. They've bred a good few times but sadly no eggs so far.

[homokira]

a sentimental rant about my time on dn tumblr bc its been well over a decade since ive been on this site and when i used to shitpost on here about it daily

there is smth very strange about being a part of peak death note tumblr back in the 2010s. like so many inside jokes that idk how many of you out there remember still (ex. lightbun) and not knowing if i might be a part of someone’s fond memories of those times back then too like some of you were for me. its very interesting and cool!! the fact that stupid edits of mine have made it onto heritage blogs now and i still get notifs on things i did a decade ago is hilarious

i still love death note and the fact that i got to meet the english voice actors in 22’ was a fever dream and even just over the weekend i still bought a l/light keychain from a convention. some fandoms just stick with you forever! i miss a few friends made back then, but i just hope theyre doing well now 🫶

im 27 now but i got involved in the fandom here when i was just 15. i made so many friends on here and had fun skype calls/livestreams/etc and it really did give me fond memories to look back on as a full grown adult. i moved out back in 21’, im getting married this year, and im into bg3 very much at the moment, but seeing dn fans still active warms a place in my heart and i dont think it will ever go away. im more active on twitter now and its so funny seeing all these new dn fan groups/circles on there and posting similar stuff i did 10+ yrs ago; some things never change and its a lot of fun to see scrolling by as an outsider.

point is death note really means a ton to me and its so awesome i still have this blog. also did you know yagami spelled backwards is -

PS: the fucking iconic youtube poop my title is from on my blog and has been that way for YEARS has now been privated on youtube im actually going to gnaw my fingers off?????

[supaara]

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

sorry i need to post literally anything rn for something extremely important

[mamasplat]

ooooooooo ive been keeping up with the huge thread.. <3333

is the fic smth you actually want to do? id read it 👍

have you got a timeline in mind?

also hows the run going?

im still in the middle of playing y, im almost at the snowy city, check out my squad 💪💪💪💪💪🐺

The true Calem run is coming along great, I only have one spot to fill in my team and I just got through the power plant!

Now regarding actually writing the Kalos vs amour story, I want to, I’d LOVE TO. It’s something younger me wanted so badly to do- however I am not exactly confident in my writing.

I’ve dabbled under a few sites with a lot of different “pen names” if you will, and I’ve never been too fond of my own work. I struggle with coming off as redundant when I use one word too much without realizing till after the fact, but in my defense! I’m entirely self taught with reading and writing so It’s surprising I’m even a little bit literate.

I can’t say I have the confidence to get a beta reader either as that would mean letting someone read my messy work which- yeah that kinda makes my skin crawl. So it could be a great exercise for me! But it would be a big step. I haven’t publicly written anything since 2019 and it was all small fandom stuff.

But I do have a rough list of story beats? Kinda? Ideas really.

Serena leaves for her journey on a whim to see ash, but in the process she neglected to tell anyone other than her mother. Which means Calem would have no clue where she went until he went to Grace. The dialogue “I was starting to worry until I saw you on pokevision” definitely dings around my skull a bit.

He was a member of the summer camp team with Shauna Trevor and Tierno, he was just too shy to talk to Serena again after she up and left without warning, especially seeing her proximity to a guy who is wearing HIS EXACT JACKET

Yeah no I’m making that a thing, the fact him and Ash dress nearly identically is going to freak him out in some way.

When I envision this as animated scenes, I can see him as a faceless character watching from the sidelines. Obscured but noticeable, coming to a head at the end of the episode where there’s a scene between him a Shauna. In a cabin kitchen at camp, It reveals him and Shauna specifically are traveling together. His face still unseen she’d pry at him for information on why he was so distant and why he hid from Serena. He’d dodge the question with an ever brooding “I don’t know” and the silence would linger as whatever midnight snack is being prepared. A camera angle change and turning to face Shauna for the first time during the conversation it ends with a single line. “Who was that guy she was with anyways?”

We would then see him again officially in a later episode with the appearance of Shauna, he and Serena finally reconnect over an awkward apology for her sudden absence. He’s familiar with Serena, his behavior is starkly different around her to anyone else- even Shauna. And while it might not peek anyone else’s concern it would get Bonnie’s gears turning, the kid is perceptive and comes to the conclusion Calem likes Serena, but that also turns into distrust thanks to Calem’s inherent standoffish nature. She would recognize him as “no good”

Also insert plot of Ash being super hyped like “oh yeah! New rival! Let’s go!” And Calem being violently uncomfortable around this hyper short stack who is dressed just like him and traveling with his run away neighbor-

If you couldn’t tell, I’d have no clue how to pov this. A third person pov makes the most sense but with a shift in focus from our main cast to Calem and Shauna- idk-

I’ve put more thought into this as actual anime episodes rather than written pages, so it’s all art stuff in my head and might translate weird to a fanfic

[overtake]

fuck them kids anons, i have an ACTUAL important ask - how is the sizing of the sleeves on enchante tops? idk if i'm measuring right but the sleeve lengths on the site make all the long-sleeve tops on there sound like the sleeves are waaay too long on everything. that has been the only thing stopping me from ordering so help me obi sleeve kenobo, you are my only hope!

Just general tw if people don’t want to see stuff about clothing sizes and photos. I’ll put my answer below a cut.

I don’t know if this makes me the best or worst person to ask about this, but I’m 5’10, so sleeves being too long on me has never been a problem in my life. I’m normally an XS in enchante (he really does not cater this brand toward short people bc ive never been an XS in my life lol. like. dude. you’re in a short people sport. you’re not that tall). My only long sleeve daniel top (first photo) is a small, so the sleeves are extra too long on me. But if you’re just talking sleeves on all his items, the cropped sweatshirt (photo two) is also a small and the sleeves fit exactly perfectly to my body length, so they’re definitely shorter than usual. However, I also included two of my other items that have the shortest sleeves (both XS) and they are also pretty much exactly the same length as the small cropped sweatshirt. His sleeves are just pretty inconsistently sized, I’d say, but if you’re short … yeah i’d expect them to be over your hands. The website sizing is pretty accurate with the measurements :/

[decklynnmoo]

hello! hope you're doing well :) i don't know if you're still active on this account, but maybe you'll see this? idk.

this might sound. mildly to moderately insane, but there's this one, like, 15 second youtube video of someone waving a glittery wand over a pastel goth bjd that i LOVED when i saw it – it was super calming and i loved the look of the video, and it was genuinely one of my favorite videos on the site. having stumbled across a few pictures of your bjds today, i'm like 99% sure it was a video of your bjd Acyd!

since it looks like that video was deleted (whether or not it was actually yours) i'm gonna give up on the search for it, but i just wanted to pop in and say thank you – your artwork (and esp. that one video lmao) had a huge impact on my life, and even if you've moved on from bjds, you were a huge inspiration to me in both art and fashion!

no pressure to respond if you see this – since i coincidentally found this account, i just wanted to say smth real quick lol. this feels vaguely parasocial so i'm gonna end this here 🫡 peace

i wanted to reply to this, Im not sure when this was sent to my inbox or if you are still around to see this message; Hello and thank you for your kind words.

you dont know how much this message has made my night. I am moved on from bjd art for just my only art presence and its funny ive been getting messages about the dolls a lot lately so they have been on my mind.

I'm thankful that the happiness, creativity, and sense of exploring fashions and sharing my knowledge at the time mixed into my own imagination could do anything positive for you. It's honestly very dear to my heart the way people gravitated to those creations because that was my escape and way of coping with my real-life issues and struggles or self-expression at the time. I value that cherished time and the people drawn to those creations. I will never forget the positivity that they have given you and the other people who bring them up to me even today. They live on through those memories so thank you.

BTW @acydslitterbox Might have that gif on there but am unsure of exactly what video youre talking about only because its been so long and I remember doing so many things with him specifically. Which I still have him but hes not together currently. I was also going through a lot of traumatic things at the time and breaking from the grooming process that was happening. My mind has tried to shut off some of the memories that caused me stress to remember this video.

In 2025- im working on a BJD art makeup cosplay series that idea was planned by me just a day ago now to show some of the dolls again and work on them but that will be sometime early next year so you may see them all again and the people who ask about them may see them or get the chance to. My cosplay makeup account is Little deck moo on ig fb Decklynn Castle or Lildeckmoo on fb im also on twitter and tiktok. Btw the dolls also are still on tiktok under decklynnmoodolls

[blackcatbard]

im so sorry this turned out so long

so idk if anyone has ever gathered this, but i might have some self esteem issues.

for a long time i wore Jeans And A T-shirt, with a hoodie if it was cold. in middle and early high school i was never really a tom boy, but i rejected a lot of feminine things because it felt easier to say i didnt enjoy it rather than say it was because i think i'd look bad/stupid wearing it.

as i got older and left high school, i still have a bit of anxiety about wearing anything other than pants and a shirt, but ive started inching my way towards trying out fashion styles ive been interested in for a while, particularly kawaii style and its various sub categories. youve probably seen that i draw my persona in cute shirts and skirts and thigh highs and hair accessories, but up until very recently the bravest thing i did was finally convincing myself i could wear a skirt. i still get nervous that im just not the kind of person who can pull some of the styles im interested in off, especially because im someone who doesnt wear make up and isnt interested in ever learning how to wear make up.

one thing ive always loved and wanted to wear was thigh highs, but it almost scared me to even think about actually trying to wear them. well, i needed some new shoes, and while i was ordering some the site i was on also offered different kinds of socks... including thigh highs.

my order of a new pair of boots and three different pairs of thigh high socks came in today. and its kind of embarrassing to admit but...

im still really nervous to wear them out, my first opportunity to do so being friday. but right now, im wearing them as i lay in bed, kicking my legs and wiggling my toes and getting really... idk emotional? i had a strange moment of, for lack of better term, euphoria when i first put them on.

its a small step, and it seems really silly. but, i cant help but feel like some part of me might finally be healing a little bit. that sounds really dramatic and dumb but kdjdhdk idk.

i just like my new socks.

[csmingy]

https://www.tumblr.com/csmingy/758594898166448128/what-about-chowlings-then-they-ask-for-over?source=share

Frfr. At least Symps has more then chows ever dreamed of. Saunt makes THOUSANDS of The Community. Yet the game hasnt even seemed to make much progress? Not to mention the fact that you need to offer 5 pop designers, 5 already existing chows, 5 HIGH QUALITY designs, and morw just for ONE chowling. Be it myo or premade.

Its shitty af how hard it is to get into this species. If something is THAT personal that you openly state "I dont want them to get to big" then why tf did you release ANY part of them yet???? They consistently shut down anything that'll open up the species even just by a tad.

Someone mentioned a currency conversion, but was shot down. Idk why??? That just seems stupid as nearly everyone there are sitting on 10000000+ copper, and barely ANY other currency. Foraging is now festival tickets... But like... The drop rates are TRASH. Tops i have ever seen is 5 tickets... -.-'

All the items in shop cost 100+ tickets if i remember from last time looking.

Myo/premade sales are....scarce to nonexistent.

There are several things that were started and not finished. Theres 3 discords!!!! THREE. species main, game hub, and for something else.

They're redoing the traits it seems too, but like.. People gunna lose out when it comes to their compensation. Which nothing on that has been revealed.

Theyve gone on breaks several times. Usually a month after the last break they had too. So its... Break for 2+ months, back for MAYBE one month, then another 2+ months of break.

Nothing to show for it either.

Dont get me wrong, i know some breaks were for personal reasons.

And its not even the mods fault. You can see how some of them get frustrated about these things themselves. They have an entire server to deal with while saunt does...nothing it seems.

They need more mods, saunt really should care more too for their community as well. Sure its a passion project. But you opened it up for others. Now you should listen to what your community wants too. Implementing some of the things they ask for would be a start. Instead of legit shutting it down because "its mine"

Thing is... Even as a game.. You HAVE to listen somewhat to what your community is saying. Otherwise it will FLOP AND DIE.

With how much they make of Chows... Youd think theyd be further Along too. The most recent openings the ab was like near 1000??? If chit chat inside server is anything to go by anyway.

The most lore ive seen is only for lineages, general lore is almost non-existent for chowlings. The items have been revamped and remade over 5+ times because Saunt cant make up her mind. She loves money and if you have it shell give you a hybrid for 1-3k+. She has an auction for all lineage hybrids right now and almost all of them have bids over 2k (there are around 8-9 hybrid combos so it has to be over 10k euro) It's actually insane. I know those customs will never be done. Oko has also been super strict lately and crazy about shooting down every suggestion that comes up and any submissions on the site if it isn't perfect. Myos and resales are also very expensive being 100 euro lowest and 1k highest. Im sorry, I just have a lot to complain about this to add-on. 🍈

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

diiary 2/25/2023

okayyy i been needing to write a longform post for a while! just to chronicle some thoughts in a cohesive way. & getting straight to the point: i'm realizing there is very little, if ANY payoff, to being an artist online. i'm not talking about money. im talking about the way it's like, the more ppl start to see you as an "artist", the more they feel like ur some kind of public figure they can lash out at w no repercussions. ur humanity is just wiped from their minds. i don't have some huge following by any means but for ME its gotten big since in the past i've been a serial deleter. usually at 800 followers im gone.

i love being creative & sharing for the sake of sharing but i deeply fear any kind of spotlight. since i came back onto tumblr i made the pledge to myself not to delete my account if it started growing but now im having second thoughts!! well i'll never delete this account cus im too sentimental but part of me just wants to stop posting in the ways i tend to do. like maube im too forthcoming & need to slink back into the shadows a bit. because i don't want to stop contributing art & music to the world but idk how to protect my heart.

like it's so crazy to me that artists are expected to b these idealistic icons of everything the viewer represents & if they make a single mistake its like fuck we better launch a pUBLIC HARASSMENT CAMPAIGN!! genuinely like, how are people supposed to want to put themselves out there when the climate is so hostile? it has got me feelin rly nihilistic i must admit. trying to put nice stuff into the world shld not be generating drama for me, especially when it's just my hobby & not even my "career".

for a while ive had no idea what to do for work or how to generate income in a way that works for me but honestly? im gonna bite the bullet & do some coding bootcamps so i can try n get a remote job doing some tech shit & making a fat salary. i guess i never rly considerd it before cus all the silicon valley stuff susses me out but idk. im naturally really good at code + my only real dream in life is to be able to support others & redistribute wealth. like ive never had anything of my own to share but if i could actually do this & become the secure+charitable person i wish to be, i think i cld finally have some inner peace/sense of fulfillment. plus i cld still be a recluse ^_^

ok well i guess that my diary entry for now. im rly grateful to everyone on this site who is genuine & respectful towards me. i am really enjoying all my creative projects right now & i just dont want it to ever stop being fun just because the internet doesnt want it to be fun for me. i seriously wonder why artists are the number one targets right now, i mean not to get too conspiratorial but like, this is exactly what the CIA wants :/ wahtever....i have no agenda other than plur. but yeah, i might just start to distance myself more from posting anything other than my work. we'll see. just kno that i dnt want it to b this way. ilu guys

[inlovewithmariana]

✧༺♥༻✧

after what was close to half an hour making the most basic blog layout i'm finally ready to start ranting. not only did i change this god forsaken url close to 10 times trying to get an acceptable one (i still don't like the current inlovewithmariana url but im too lazy to think anm). i havent had a tumblr in 4ever, idk the current etiquette within the site but i need someplace to rant where no one (or almost no one) will find me. and ik my bf doesnt have a tumblr so here i came.

i used to rant a lot on an old blog i lost the password to (and forgot the url), but it was also a bit too formal and deep for what i actually want to write about. i dont want to have to write perfect diary entries, i want to scream into the abyss about things that, at the end of the day, probably do not bother me as much as i make them seem to.

ive been dating my bf long distance for ab 6 months, and ik i see myself staying with him long term. however, idk how to separate what are my actual concerns and wishes, and what is just stuff on the internet people make up for no apparent reason other than to seemingly bother others relationships. how realistic would it be for me to be upset that my bf never got me flowers if im attached at the hip to him whenever were tgt? why is it okay when im in the mood but if he is and im not i instantly feel objectified and like he only likes me for my body? i dont feel obligated to do anything when were tgt, but when were apart i feel like he'll get tired of me if im not constantly sexualizing myself.

i avoid romance shows that show an idealized reality bc im scared of believing it to be true, and i avoid the ones with not-perfect relationships because i fear ill start reading too much into them and believing things ab my relationship that arent true.

i love my bf, i really do, and ik that if i were to rant to him ab these things he'd be as understanding as he possibly could, and try to work through them with me. but sometimes i just want to rant.

(also i promise i write good but if im rambling im not going to spell check shit <3)

[olivieraa]

actually, y'know, idek when was the last time I talked about ygo abridged

like if I happen to be on tumblr when an ep comes out I'm like *O* and I'll post about it cause to me tumblr was always a "get your feelings out in the moment" site so in those moments I'm like aaaah new ep!

but never like talk talked about it, last time would be over 10 years ago defo

honestly? its special to me. Ive a great memory but I defo struggle with this not knowing the order, so it was either a) I decided to finally watch AN ANIME for the first time ever and put on inuyasha, THEN got curious about returning to yugioh and discovered season 0 and THEN watched the abridged or b) I randomly remembered I'd never seen the end of ygo and so looked up amvs of it on youtube thus discovering ygo season 0 came first and then found the abridged through that and THEN realised I wanted to welcome anime into my life and so I started Inuyasha and sooooo on down I went, the anime road from then on

so, ygo abridged is at the beginning of that journey

at that time in my life, I was heavily struggling with ocd. and I was ditching school a lot. if I wasn't hiding in the town library for 6 hours, I was at a friends who decided to ditch with me. I had my two reliables. and we always watched the abridged together. quoted it non-stop. eventually I was dating a lad for a month, and when we broke up (he had the same friends as me), HE started quoting the abridged with them as well cause they showed it to him. made me MAD! lmao

it was also something I watched every time we went on a ride to look at houses during the recession in 2009-2010. those long drives. abridged kept me and my brother sane lol

and then cut to being online with online friends, and tumblr, we all shared the abridged love with each other.

it was just unfortunate the episodes were rarer at that point but definitely... more frequent than they are now. they were coming out prob around 4.... times a year. maybe? whereas they used to be weekly. so that was a big change.

and now they're once a year. you're lucky if there's 2.

but here's the thing.

yeah its a parody. but idk... the fact that you can just pick up where you left off every time and not be a confused mess makes me happy. the fact that the characters are so distinctive and you never forget their personality traits is amazing to me.

I'm just proud of LK bc he could have dropped it a long time ago. I've seen youtube channels have their hype years and then fans disappear CONSTANTLY. video views going from 2.5 mill to maybe 30k. it happens.

but a good chunk of people who have been watching the abridged now for 15 years now or more still get excited when a new once a year ep drops. you just pick it up, have a giggle fest, wipe away a tear and then move on. never sitting there in anticipation for the next cause you know it'll be a while. just... happy to go on youtube and see one randomly there on a random day when you're not looking for it.

it fills me with joy.

my ONLY con here is that, bruh, season 5 to me is the best ygo arc. I been wanting to see that shit abridged for soooooooooo fucking long. there's so many scenes that I wanna know what he does with. I want to see Bakura without Marik, cause LK's flaw with Bakura was that he knew how to write Marik on his own but not Bakura on his own. so I wanna see that more. I wanna see what he does with Set and Kisara, what direction he goes. I love Joey's ghost moments in the main show so I I'm hyped for that.

the sad thing about it is being hyped for something I prob wont see till.......................... 2028? 2030?

probably.

but I'll still be watching. if he makes it that far anyway <3

[drdemonprince]

hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!