#ive made this joke a total of twice times now but like. the episode they ripped the image from quite literally is him

[quirinah]

absolutely riveting day to be a nintama fan on twitter

[hyperionshipping]

i may be biased, but ive loved getting to see ur liveblogging of dw!! i also wanted to ask, what do you think nine, ten, and eleven would think about your feelings towards a certain captain? :3c

I'm so glad you're enjoying the liveblogging!! Series 5 is definitely gonna be fun because it'll be a little bit till we get to "new" episodes for me!!

This being said, KIT. STOPPPPP!!!! THERE IS NO FEELINGS!!!!! FOR ANY CAPTAIN!!!! CAPTAIN? I DON'T KNOW ANYONE I'D CALL THAT *JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW*

*ahem* Anyway. Well. This being said. I can give you totally hypothticals on their reactions

Nine:

Okay I think nine is the least surprised or like "oh no absolutely not" of the three. My partner made the joke 9 was the one who me and him both look at him and just nod.

If anything I think he tries to scare Harkness via like "ohhh just wait till you're in the dark. He's completely different" or he's telling the two of us to behave and just Smiles when I sputter and start yelling and Harkness looks between the two of us just "I don't know what's being said here other than when you talk Doctor, but I know it's all about me"

I also think he'd be least surprised if anything happened but would put his hand on my shoulder like "now Tricks. Isn't he a little old for you?"

Ten:

The fucking. Dadness if he learned. IT'S SO BAD. He doesn't let us be alone and he's always always like "that's ENOUGH Jack" (like the one episode where he was like "what I can't even say hello?"). All the time he's Judging crossing his arms and ushering us onwards.

He's like "I don't care he's your friend the flirting is terrible" like. DOC I can see that!!!! Don't you think I've tried stopping him???

Ten I think would catch on quicker than 9 re: MY feelings. Just gives me A Look tm when I say shit like "My Captain..." "And the Captain said?" and especially the like once or twice? I ever call him Jack.

"Your Captain huh?"

"......Not like that. NOT like that."

"Then why do you say it like that?"

"I say it like NOTHING."

Eleven:

This is a really good question for him specifically. Since they don't Meet.

Firstly and I must say this, I don't think Harkness would love 11 as much as he did Ten, and certainly not as much as 9.

He's just.... Different.

But! That's not gonna stop him when he sees "MY FAVORITE DEMON!" And instantly 11 is looking so so fast already abandoning whatever he was once doing to go ":) who's your friend? Oh!"

And with 11 I would be even MORE like insistent on "NONONONO DAD HE'S JUST A FRIEND. ONLY A FRIEND."

And Harkness would just smile and wrap an arm around me to say I've said that for years! I love a slow burn"

11 would be sooo excited to include him on more adventures and like Well! The TARDIS always has room for people from the past. He asks me point blank if I like him and I lose my shit like!!! No!!!!!!

He's totally oblivious like "Oh :)!! Okay you do like him." and I beg him to not say anything he should know it'll go straight to the Captain's head. He's already asking Jack if he's ever heard me purr and it's one of the few times he's like "hey maybe this new face isn't as bad as the last!"

[courtney-deserved-better]

whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 41: It’s Mai’s Turn to Get Electrocuted

Hey guys, welcome to the Christmas Break.

It’s TV watching season, so lets watch some TV and over-analyze a 20 yo kid’s show, you in?

Odion, after suffering from a lightning strike and getting impaled by many pieces of that fake millennium rod he was holding gets dropped off in the only room on this blimp that has sheets. He also had the added shock of witnessing his brother morph into a somewhat evil-er dude with saiyan hair, which I dunno, I’d want to take a nap too, that’s a lot to deal with.

(And thanks to some reader input, turns out this Marik isn’t so much a ghost situation so much. I mean, I guess it’s more of a Season Zero --this is your deep down scary personality taking over-- type thing but it’s not like I really finished Season Zero so...We’re just rolling with it.)

Glad we have an actual hospital wing--confused as to why Bakura isn’t here.

But I guess lightning strike is slightly worse than having a bleeding stab wound for 12 hours. I mean I’m no doctor, maybe it is? Anyway, Odion is hooked up to all sorts of computers and life support although there aren’t any cords attached to him anywhere on his body. Not even one piss-yellow IV bag.

Check out the size of that IBM. This is what a widescreen used to look like.

The rest of the Yuge Crew are here although I’m pretty sure that’s not how hospitals work. Pretty sure you have to be related to drop on in directly after being put in intensive care but like, they are on a blimp so I guess it’s different up there. But also, this guy has abducted them once already and just tried to kill Joey for the second time, and now they are like “We’re basically on BFF family terms with this Odion guy, lets visit that bedside.”

Although, mind you, his real family is Marik and Ishizu, both of which have never said aloud that Odion is their brother. This family is sort of bad at life, TBH.

Since we’re barrelling right into a Mai arc we have to confront one of her 2 big Mai character conflicts--which is either “this is why I don’t get married” or “OMG I am going to die forever alone.” Which is interesting, because last time we hung out with her, we did whatever we could to keep her independent, while in this episode Mai mourns that being independent is the ultimate curse. Girl wants whatever she doesn’t have, pretty much.

Ah, Miss independent, never thought I’d get that song stuck in my head again. Thanks, Mai. Except in this version, instead of falling in love, Mai just makes weird friendships with jail bait teenagers. Why can’t she make friends with like, Roland? He’s her age. Or maybe this nice doctor? But whatever, age is meaningless on this show.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Joey has decided to tell us all about that dream he had but leaves out the parts where he dropped everything he owns, and then knocked himself over a desk onto his face, and then in the same dream Kaiba kinda walked in from off screen, dunked on him, and then walked directly off screen again.

Mai is deeply touched.

And then, because she is Mai, gets extremely offended immediately afterward.

I can keep hoping it’ll be Duke Devlin but like...as much as I want him to do more on this show, I really think the only people who remember Duke Devlin at this point are all the animators who were like “HOW many people are in this shot?! Why did we make a season where every scene is a freakin crowd scene!?”

*I know the shading on her ass was supposed to be attractive but it looks like nasty sweat stains*

(Also what the hell computer-machinery is supposed to be behind them in this scene?)

This one time where Joey doth protest too much is the first time we have ever, ever on this show seen Joey act less than vague towards Mai. During the dream episode he blushed, but I thought that was because of Serenity being there for her brother in his dream. I didn’t at all think that was over Mai at the time.

But I guess this is happening now? I mean people kept saying “yes, Joey and Mai will be a thing” and I was like “they better start building up to that because like...nothing is happening.” but this show’s version of building up to that was by just not being vague one single time.

Which in this show is a big deal, I guess. Because shortly after this event, Tea remembers that her character description sheet says “Is bossy AF” with red underline and was like “OMG I totally forgot and it’s been like 20 episodes since I did anything, I gotta hurry” and she just lost her lid.

I’m regretting more and more that joke I made that TeaxKaiba was way more reasonable than TeaxYugi, because sometimes when Tea goes ham she may as well be wearing a long spiky coat with boots leggings. Tea had two very different personalities way before she ever got possessed by Bakura. Like, Tea is kind of a monster actually, but we rarely get to see it because she gets completely distracted and cries a lot when it just feels like...the other half of her, the half that bit a guy once--like she legit bit a guy on this show--that side of Tea would just never cry over cards. Or cry, period. She sure wasn’t crying when she bit that guy!

This is mostly because I think the writers didn’t know how to write a girl like Tea since she’s a mix of a Season Zero Tea and this more old fashioned-’feminine’ version I think they were trying to turn her into for this series. It’s weird. It’s weird that this group of friends have nothing to say about these very abrupt changes in her behavior. Then again, it took them a while to notice the abrupt changes in Yugi.

Anyway, Joey isn’t done getting harassed by everyone he knows yet.

We have Marik trapped in a blimp in the sky and the entire Kaiba security force, why are we dueling him anymore? I mean I know why, we are contractually obligated to show lots of card content in this show to sell cards, but at this point I feel like maybe they should drive the blimp over international waters and resort to maritime law. Give Kaiba a gun.

Actually don’t do that, it would be bad. Don’t give Kaiba a gun. Give it to Duke or something, he seems stable enough. He seems like he’d be able to shoot somebody but not everybody, if you know what I mean.

And because it’s the Mai arc, we gotta have Mai duel next. There’s only 3 people left to go against: Ishizu, Kaiba, and Marik. I think. There’s so many people on this show. Tea isn’t playing, right? I mean I really do feel like like I’ve forgotten someone--maybe Shadi? Miho? So many people are on this blimp.

Whatever, I’ll just roll with it, if I forgot someone I’m sure they’ll show up at some point.

Mai sure is that girlfriend.

Anyway, lets see what Marik’s up to. Ah, he really is visiting his older brother after all.

That’s right--Marik has to play twice. I mean obvi the first Marik was Odion, but still, it just feels like it’s Marik playing twice.

Also can we please talk about Marik’s cargo pants obsession for a little bit? This arch villain is in CARGO PANTS. Like, they have puffy pockets. He figured out that the hoodie was a bad look, but then he was like “I’ll just cover my tum-tum, and then put on my khaki cargo pants with a sensible belt.”

It just sort of insinuates that Marik only owns cultist robes and cargo pants. Just those two things. Imagine if every pant in your closet was cargo pants. Just imagine with me. You’d go mad, too. Imagine you packed for a trip, a nice vacay on a blimp, and then you opened your luggage and you were like “oops! all cargo pants!” you’d fly home.

Marik looks like he’s going to Casual Khaki’s Friday at the office from about the stomach down, and then stomach up up he’s ready to join piccolo and fuse brains or whatever the hell goes on in Dragonball Z.

And Yugi and his friends are late to Mai’s duel because they are teenagers and also of course they would. This whole season was introduced with Yugi being chronically late to stuff.

The bathroom joke in this episode is canon, PS. I skipped a Season Zero episode where Tristan went to the loo and so Yugi held his spot in line and it took like 30 minutes before Tristan finally got back. Tristan’s epic poops have apparently been Yugioh canon since the very beginning.

I’m learning so much about the lore.

Now that Marik no longer has to hide who he is, he has decided that he’ll just use the Shadow Realm willy-nilly now. Although Marik did this without playing any cards at all, it doesn’t seem to register to Seto Kaiba that this is not a hologram. Maybe Kaiba sneezed when Marik summoned it and just assumed he missed a card play or something.

So now, for our gimmick!

Every time we fight in the Shadow Realm it feels like the rules are a little bit different, and Marik decided to make this duel a memory fight.

The Shadow Realm seems to eat on your greatest insecurities, and for Mai it’s feeling all alone. Not sure how that works once the duel is over--her friends will still be there, so like...she can just get a heads up on the one day they went camping that one time and then boom, friendship rekindled, I think. But for now, this is very scary for everyone involved.

But I mean at least she isn’t a playing card, or being thrown into a graveyard by being played as a card, or being devoured by gloopy blobs, or rapidly dying because of the exposure to the shadow zone. As far as Shadow Realms go this one seems kind of tame.

But I guess we shall see if somehow losing Tea will effect her story in any way.

Depends on which Tea, in my opinion, but if we’re going for the normal boring one that only cries wellllllll I wouldn’t notice if she were gone, just saying. Now, if it’s the fun Tea that bites people and yanks their ears off their face, well being forced to lose my memories of her is what the writers do to me basically every episode of this show. Let Tea bite more people in the arm. Let that girl rage.

But all that will be for another recap where we can all watch Mai get Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-ed as if a memory wipe hasn’t happened at least once to every single person on this show with the exception of Mokuba. And Mokuba was a paper card for like I want to say about 10 episodes, so...

Anyways, if you just got here I do have these in chrono order from s1 ep1, here is a link.

[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 9 Easter Eggs & References

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This Star Trek: Discovery article contains spoilers for Season 3, Episode 9.

Although a casual fan doesn’t need to know the ins-and-outs of Star Trek canon to get into Star Trek: Discovery, it certainly helps! Although all of Discovery Season 3 has been set in a “new” part of the Trek timeline, the 32nd Century to be exact, the series hasn’t entirely been freed of canon restraints. From Trill, to Starfleet history, and beyond, Discovery Season 3 has been a rollercoaster of connections to the entire sprawling canon of Trek. And, as “Terra Firma Part 1” proves, that canon isn’t just limited to one universe. Here are all the Easter eggs and references we caught in Discovery Season 3, Episode 9, “Terra Firma, Part 1.”

The Kelvin Universe 

Right at the top of the episode, the mysterious Kovich (David Cronenberg) explains to Culber that traveling both across time and jumping from different universes can “make you pretty sick,” and in the case of a “time soldier” named Yor, can be fatal. This 2379 Starfleet officer is a Betelgeusian, but also “from a parallel universe caused by the temporal incursion of a Romulan mining ship.” This is the first time in “Prime” Trek canon that we’ve been told outright that they’re even aware of the Kelvin Universe. Further, Yor is the first glimpse of the future of what Starfleet looks after the reboot films in that timeline. Basically, Yor’s uniform might look like an early TNG-era jumpsuit, but because he’s got a 2370s combadge, it’s a bit of a mishmash. 

TLDR: In the future of the Kelvin Universe, they dress like it’s the beginning of TNG. But, who knows? Maybe in Yor’s universe, gold in 2379 still means “command.” 

Oh! And Yor’s death also neatly explains why Old Spock died off screen in Star Trek Beyond. Kovich says: “Before Georgiou, Yor was the only individual known to have traveled across time and dimensions.” This implies his files don’t know about Old Spock, who did the same. The question is: How does Starfleet in the Prime Universe know about the Kelvin Universe (and how it was created) and not know about Old Spock going there? Hmmm?

The Temporal Wars and the Temporal Accords 

Kovich mentions both the Temporal Wars and the Temporal Accords, and mentions that the “Interdimensional displacement restriction” prevents people from going to other parallel universes on purpose. According to Daniels in Star Trek: Enterprise, the Temporal Accords existed sometime in the 31st century, roughly a hundred years before the events of Discovery Season 3, and likely before the burn. Although Discovery has mentioned “the Temporal Wars” before, it stands to reason that one aspect of these wars was the “Temporal Cold War” seen throughout all four seasons of Enterprise. 

“Maybe they’ll call you Killy after all”

Georgiou jokes that if Tilly manages to kill the crew by accident that “maybe they’ll call you Killy after all.” This references Season 1 of Discovery in which we learned that Mirror Tilly’s nickname was “Captain Killy.” Notably, we never saw Captain Killy in “Despite Yourself,” or any of the other Season 1 episodes in which she was referenced. Obviously, that changes in this episode. 

The Gamma Quadrant 

The Discovery’s computer suggests taking Georgiou to the planet Dannus V, which Michael Burnham says is “just shy of the Gamma Quadrant near the galactic rim.” So, to put this in perspective, the Gamma Quadrant is the area of space that the Bajoran Wormhole led to in Deep Space Nine. Saying this planet is just shy of the Gamma Quadrant, could indicate it’s right on the border between the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants, which would be “north” of Federation space, roughly. The galactic rim might refer to the barrier at the edge of the galaxy. This barrier was breached by the USS Enterprise in “Where No Man Has Gone Before” and again in “By Any Other Name.” Relevantly, passing through that barrier caused Gary Mitchell and Dr. Dehner to acquire PSI powers and slowly go nuts. 

Speaking of Gary Mitchell…

Admiral Vance suggests that leaving Georgiou on an “Uninhabited planet is better than a brig in the starship.” This kind of references the idea that Kirk was going to maroon Gary Mitchell on Delta Vega, rather than just kill him outright. Meanwhile, while the name of the planet here — Dannus V — is new to Trek canon, the word could reference writer Richard Danus, who wrote for both TNG and DS9.

The needs of the many must outweigh the needs of the one

Saru quotes Spock from The Wrath of Khan in his decision not to help Georgiou with her condition. He’s overruled eventually, which kind of echoes Saru’s conversation with the Vulcan president T’Rina in “Unification III,” in which she told him that maxim’s like that one were part of some bagge the Vulcans were trying to get over.

“You hesitated last time”

Vance tells Burnham that he needs to know she won’t hesitate if Georgiou gets dangerous. Burnham says, “you’re referring to Commander Airiam.” This references the events of “Project Daedalus,” in which Airiam nearly killed everyone after getting possessed by the AI called Control.

New phasers 

We’ve been seeing “new” Starfleet phasers in the opening credits for a while, but this looks like the first time someone picks one up. It also appears that the phaser morphs into something on Georgiou’s wrist. So, maybe these phasers are made of programmable matter? 

“Where I’m from we were Prime and you were the Mirror”

The idea that there is an “objective” Prime Universe, is of course fanspeak that has bled into the actual canon of Star Trek. Nobody in the Mirror Universe considers themselves to be from an alternate dimension, and ditto with the Kelvin Universe. This is the first time this kind of thing has been openly addressed on-screen in Trek canon.

“Door Doesn’t Register at All”

Burnham says that the mysterious door doesn’t “register” on her Tricorder. This is a little like the Guardian of Forever in the TOS episode “City on the Edge of Forever.” In that episode, Spock says, “For this to do what it does it does is impossible by any science I understand.”

Prefix code

When Adira and Stamets locate the Kelpien ship that is still sending a signal in the Verubin Nebula, they mention that they have the prefix code, which should be able to open up a backdoor to the systems. This references The Wrath of Khan when Kirk uses the prefix code of the Reliant to order the ship to lower its shields. 

“Die standing”

Before Georgiou walks through the magic door, she says she’d rather “die standing.” This might reference a recent tie-in novel Discovery novel called Die Standing by John Jackson Miller. In that book, there’s a character from Georgiou’s past named San, and it seems like this is the person she’s mourning in the Mirror Universe flashbacks from this season.

Lorca’s Coup

Georgiou has seemingly traveled into the Mirror Universe, and back into the year 2255. All of these events served as the backstory for Star Trek: Discovery Season 1, and effectively happened “before” the show began. For a full breakdown of all the ways Georgiou’s new trip to the Mirror Universe changes what we know of this timeline, check out this handy article. 

Epsilon Indi IV 

“Killy” references the Imperial shipyards on Epsilon Indi IV. This star system first appeared in the TOS episode “And the Children Shall Lead.”

Mirror Landry returns 

Ellen Landry, played by Battlestar Galactica veteran Rekha Sharma, returns in this episode. We haven’t seen Landry since season 1 of Discovery in which she seemingly died twice, once as Prime Landry, and again, when DISCO blew-up the Charon. Notably, Landry was part of Lorca’s coup, but it looks like nobody knows that right now.

Georgiou’s fancy title

We hear Emperor Georgiou’s fancy title twice in this episode: Her Most Imperial Majesty, Mother of the Fatherland, Overlord of Vulcan, Dominus of Qo’noS, Regina Andor, Philippa Georgiou Augustus Iaponius Centarius. We first heard this title in the Discovery episode “Vaulting Ambition.”

Evil DOT bots

The last time we visited the Mirror Universe, we hadn’t been introduced to the DOT bots from Season 2 of Discovery, yet. Here, it appears that the Terran Starfleet has red-eyed versions of these cute little things, because, of course they do.

Vahar’ai retcon

In Season 1 of Discovery, we didn’t know about the process of Vahar’ai, in which Kelpiens are supposed to turn into baddasses. In the Mirror Universe, it seems that the Terrans have taken the place of the Ba’ul, introduced in the episode, “A Sound of Thunder.” Did Georgiou know about Vahar’ai only because of her trip to the Prime Universe? Or do high-level Terrans know about it?

Owo, the security chief of the Charon

We see Owo battling to keep her job as the security chief of the Charon. In the first Mirror Timeline, she had this job. 

Georgiou’s backstory seems to foreshadow Deep Space Nine’s Mirror Universe

During the christening ceremony, we see a dramatic recreation of Georgiou’s ascension to become Emperor of the Terran Empire. One aspect of this has to do with her totally dominating the Klingons. In the future of the Mirror Universe, we learn that the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance eventually destroyed the Terran Empire. Clearly, the Klingons were harboring a hundred-year-long grudge.

Daughter of Rome

Did the Roman Empire just not fall in the Mirror Universe? When Stamets calls Georgiou a “daughter of Rome” it really makes you think that’s the case. But, if we’re meant to think that the Roman Empire didn’t fall in the ancient history of the Terran Universe, then it feels super-unlikely that all the same people would have even been born, in order to like, establish duplicates of Tilly, Stamets, Kirk, Spock, etc. I mean, I guess it’s possible, but wow, the divergence goes back that far?

Georgiou is kinda like Kirk in “Mirror, Mirror”

In terms of story beats, Georgiou is in a similar place Kirk was in “Mirror, Mirror.” Kirk spared Mirror Chekov’s life, Georgiou spares Mirror Burnham’s life. Kirk started being nice to his concubine, Georgiou is being nice to her slave, the Mirror Saru. In both cases, the characters know that everyone will freak out if they keep acting nice and forgiving to people around them, so an air of arrogance and bluster is required. The difference is Kirk only had to fake it until he made it out of the Mirror Universe. What’s Georgiou gonna do? Fake it until she reforms the Terran Empire? 

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Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 has four new episodes left this season. Those all stream on Thursdays on CBS All Access.

The post Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 9 Easter Eggs & References appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[deadmantalking117]

MEL

In my mid 30's I really started getting sick. All the time. So very sick. Up until now I was mostly ok. For the past 10 years since my diagnosis I was doing fine. But I had that Sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I had been told that I would die before I got to be 40. And there's 40.. right over there! And for the first time.. I'm really sick.. a lot. Deaths coming for me. So I did what you're supposed to do. When I got sick.. I had my Dr admit me into the hospital... that's where you go to die.. right? Some episodes were a few days.. some a few weeks. But they were many. Being fed thru a tube. IV tubes everywhere.. so many needles.. Part if my routine was walking the halls. To help recover.. it's very important to keep moving. The more you can force yourself to get up and move.. the faster you recover. It's pure Newtonian physics.. a body at rest stays at rest.. a body in motion stays in motion.. so get moving. Keep moving. Walking the halls is an ordeal. You need to bundle up all your tubes and IV's.. unplug the pumps. (They're battery backed up) and make sure you dont get tangled up and fall. But I put on my monster feet slippers and headed on out. Usually twice per day.. I would try to get 10 laps around the ward. Most times I barely noticed other people.. I'm in astonishing amounts of pain.. and focused on making the next lap. But I could see other rooms.. with other people. As I passed by one of these.. a little shell of a girl.. laying on her bed was being smacked on the back by nurses.. they had to do this several times a day to break up the phlegm in her lungs.. so she wouldn't drown. I had noticed her before.. another frequent flyer like me. This time she gave me a little smile and a weak wave. She's seen my laps.. and had started counting me. One day as I'm passing.. she called out.. "that's 6!" I stuck my head in to say a quick hello. And my entire life changed. Mel was a little waif of a girl. She was fighting a couple horrible diseases that were wasting her tiny little body.. she was terminal.. but hanging on hard.. at 19 years old.. she looked 10.. she was so frail she couldn't get out of bed... ever. I was 36-37 and facing my own mortality. But this girl never had any real life. At 19 .. She's never had a boyfriend.. or any friend.. She's been in hospital beds her entire life. Nurses were her only human contact, besides her parents. But they had to work to support their dying daughter.. so they couldn't be there a lot. I made it my mission to visit her as often as I could get out my own bed. Most days.. as I did my laps. I'd stick my head in the door.. say hi.. ask how she was doing.. always a weak little smile.. "still here" she'd joke. Thats 4! Or 5! As I hobbled past. One day when I stopped by she asked me if I wanted to come over tonight and watch a movie with her.. as a permanent guest.. she got a good t.v. and a vcr.. her mom would bring her movies. "So if you are bored and wanna come by my mom will bring me any movie I want". I have an amazing wife and family. My times in the hospital were made easier by their visits and support. I was never lonely. But this sweet dying wisp of a girl.. only had mom and dad.. and they were killing themselves working to keep her alive as long as they could. So. Movie night! I bundled up my tubes.. put on my monster feet slippers.. and headed over around 8. See.. the thing in hospitals is.. time is meaningless. 2 am.. just the same as 5pm. But mom left at 8 each night.. so she's free! Our first movie was a Ray Liotta comedy/drama called Article 99. If you wanna see a story about veterans care.. its great. A must watch. We gabbed throughout the film. Each making jokes about the movie.. or our actual lives. Or whatever.. I was stunned by how cheerful and funny she was. How could someone this ravaged be so upbeat? I remember when I left that first night.. I had this overpowering urge to give her a hug or something.. but that's impossible. She can't be touched ! The nurses had told me was written in stone.. she was so prone to infection that you had be sterilized before any contact. They had to undergo a whole routine just to treat her! The only reason I could sit with her was because we were already in the same environment.. and I didn't have anything contagious. I recall the time where I was in for a flare up. But I was also having sinus issues.. so her room was a no fly zone. When I could get up and walk.. I had to stand well back from her door and kinda yell in to her room. But she'd always have something to tell me. On days when I was too sick to get up from my bed.. we'd pass messages back and forth through the nurses.."she wants to know when you're coming by for movie night.. and what do want her mom to bring?" Tell her.." maybe tomorrow night.. ever seen Star Wars?" Things like that. Most days.. I was way too sick to get up. But I made a special effort to at least do a couple laps.. so I could say hi. She'd always update me with her "labs" her blood count.. oxygen levels.. what new drug they were going with now.. there was always a new drug. Basically let me know she still alive. I'd tell her about the family.. "Kat says hi.. she'll see you on her next visit" "kids are doing ok" things like that. This was over a time period of about 6 or 8 months..I was literally sick all the time. Most days.. I'd get up.. vomit uncontrollably for a while.. have an astonishingly painful bowel movement or 6. Try to get on with my day. Over and over I'd go back to the hospital.. 3 or 4 days usually.. couple weeks sometimes... one particular stretch of 35 days being fed thru a tube stands out. I was not a happy camper. But here was this dying girl.. who almost never got to go home. And she's better than me. It bothered her that she was happy I was sick... but it was cool that we could hang out. I remember when she confessed this.. she had a small whisper of a voice.. because of the years of damage from tubes and drains. She talked kinda like a deaf person talks. But very quietly.. a husky whisper. I can hear her even to this day.. 25 years later. Picture her laying in her bed.. She looked a bit like the actress Kate Micucci. Just a smaller wasted version. One day the nurse tells me that Mel is wanting me to stop by and visit.. she's doing really good. She also told me.. "You know she dresses up for you?" She would have the nurse comb her hair.. she even had her pretty nightgown set aside to wear when I was in the house. She had 3 or 4 different nightgowns to wear so she wouldn't always have to wear hospital gowns. But one was her favorite.. apparently she only wore it when I was there. Our total time together over this 6 or 8 month time span.. maybe a few hours total. 5 minutes here ... 10 minutes there.. it always had to be me that visited.. and I was in no shape.. and as soon as I could get up.. I was gone. We had a few movie nights. I did make her watch Star Wars.. she said she liked it.. but I remember that we always talked thru the movies.. so I don't think she even really watched it. She made me feel better.. first by motivating me to get up and walk.. but mostly by her relentlessly cheerful attitude. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you.. she was barely alive.. 19 years old.. but looked like a 10 year old who been hit by a bus. Yet there she lay.. smiling all the while. In her prettiest nightgown. One Sunday afternoon theres a knock on my door.. Kat was out shopping and I was sick on the couch watching the kiddies. I open it and there's 2 older people standing there.. GREAT.. church people.. I'm so not up for this.. I'm sick. But they weren't church people.. they were Mel's parents. MEL DIED YESTERDAY. They had gotten my address from one of the nurses.. she knew that I'd want to know. They told me how greatful they were to me. Mel loved me.. she talked about me all the time.. her mom told me she had the biggest crush on me.. if course I knew it.. but I'm choking back tears while these people I've never met tell me I was literally the only friend she ever had. She'd been born sick and wasn't expected to make it to puberty. But she stayed around for almost 20 years. Mom tells me that her numbers were always up when I was in the hospital. About how her friend Steve was back in and we're going watch such and such movie maybe tomorrow aftetnoon. About how they'd always wanted to meet me.. but she didn't want them to embarrass her in front of her friend! Dad was a butcher.. he offered to make my whole family a barbeque.. they wanted to do something for me. I was too sick to eat anything then.. but got their number and promised to call when I was up and around. I never did. Not long after Mel died. I quit going to the hospital. It wasn't her death.. it was a bunch of reasons.. mostly I felt like something had to change. But I'll tell you that story another time. Before they left my doorway.. I asked the one question I never even thought to ask Mel. I knew what diseases she had..I can't recall what they were.. some long medical thing that doesn't really do the disease justice.. like toxohistiplasmosis leukasemia. It's just a bunch of letters slapped together to try to explain the death of a beautiful young woman. Who gives a shit what you call it. I asked them.. " what is Mel short for anyways? I never asked her. Was it Melody? Or Melony?" Her name was Melissa I was her only friend for a very short period of time. And she absolutely changed my life. Her parents are likely long gone.. they appeared to be in their 60s back then.. they had no other children. Kathleen and I are probably the only people who know this person even exsisted.. even if only for brief moment in time. But she did exsist.. And she helped shape the course of my life.. simply because of who she was. She did exsist.. and I was her friend.

[leo-manfred-needs-love]

I’ve been tagged by @dickie-gayson (shoot don't remembr how long ago tbh) Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag. (I have an issue with that, i got less than 25, but I'll make it work?) LAST… [1] Drink:Cousin [2] Phone Call:My cousin [3] Text Message:If you count messenger, 'Alright' [4] Song you listened to:Africa by Toto (Wow I'm predictable) [5] Time you cried:Sometime last month, don't remember why lmao HAVE YOU EVER… [6] Dated someone twice: no [7] Been cheated on: nope [8] Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone (plan to keep it like that lmao) [9] Lost someone special: Yeah  [10] Been depressed: not that i know of [11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, (underage woop woop)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] Orange [13] Blue [14] Green

[15] Made new friends: online? yep irl? yeah [16] Fallen out of love: Never been in love (-shudders- pity date) [17] Laughed until you cried: Yeah [18] Found out someone was talking about you: Nope [19] Met someone who changed you:Nope [20] Found out who your true friends are: I have like two close friends, so i guess? [21] Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no, mainly family lmao [22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: tbh i go one facebook like once ever few months. i dont even remember what friends i have (not even gonna change that because same) [23] Do you have any pets: Yep! I have a russian blue cat named Reverend Tholomew Plague (Rev for short). we also have another russian blue mix named Sophie (Only slight change because we live together lmao) [24] Do you want to change your name: Not really [25] What did you do for your last birthday:Had a cake and celebrated with family (Hope this suffices) [26] What time did you wake up: haven't slept yet [27] What were you doing at midnight last night:playing video games :D [28] Name something you cannot wait for: THE DC MOVIES. JUSTICE LEAGUE!! BATMAN!! AQUAMAN!! SHAZAM!! FLASH!! CYBORG!! GREEN LANTERNS!! NIGHTWING! BUT MAINLY FLASH!! [29] When was the last time you saw your mother: not to get depressing here but it was when she died, November 24th, 2014. she had cancer. [30] What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:i'd change some things I have done and said in the past (regrets amirite) [31] What are you listening to right now: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off [32] Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes [33] Something that is getting on your nerves: my family [34] Most visited website: Tumblr probably, or an rpg site im a member of [35] Elementary: not sure what this question is implying lmao elementary wasnt bad [37] College: still in highschool  [38] Hair colour: blond [39] Long or short hair: I prefer long [40] Do you have a crush on someone: no [41] What do you like about yourself? I can make cringy jokes that will sometimes work to brighten people's days. [42] Piercings: none [43] Blood type: it’s p much coffee at this point as well, but I don't know [44] Nickname: Jackie [45] Relationship status: Single [46] Zodiac sign: Scorpio [47] Pronouns: She/her [48] Favourite TV show: I haven't watched tv in a while, but so far its the Flash (3 episodes in woo) [49] Tattoos: none (unless you count the temporary tattoos, still none) [50] Right or left handed: Right-handed FIRST… [51] Surgery: None [52] Piercing: none [53] Best friend: Raine [54] Sport: Baseball [55] Vacation: Maryland im pretty sure  [56] Pair of trainers: i can hardly remember three days ago, how tf am i gonna remember my first pair of trainers lmfao (not changing because i'm the same lmao) RIGHT NOW… [57] Eating: nothing [58] Drinking: coffee [59] I’m about to: respond to other things ive been tagged in [60] Listening to:Nightmare - Set It Off [61] Waiting for:The sweet embrace of death [62] Want: Mint Ice Cream [63] Get married:Noo [64] Career: FORENSIC SCIENCE (Not bcus Flash. Totally not) WHICH IS BETTER… [65] Hugs or kisses:hugs. [66] Lips or eyes: eyes [67] Shorter or taller: taller [68] Older or younger: younger [70] Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms. (Flex and crush cans man) [71] Sensitive or loud: Sensitive [72] Hook up or relationship: neither [73] Troublemaker or hesitant: I'm just here, though I don't always think things through so Troublemaker? HAVE YOU EVER… [74] Kissed a stranger? nope [75] Drank hard liquor? no [76] Lost glasses/contact lenses? Yeah [77] Turned someone down: Yes [78] Sex on first date? How about no. Too young for that [79] Broken someone’s heart? Yeah, dude was possessive af [80] Had your own heart broken? no [81] Been arrested? nope [82] Cried when someone died? yep [83] Fallen for a friend: slightly? I crushed on my friend for a little DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] Yourself? haa [85] Miracles? No. [86] Love at first sight? Nope [87] Santa Claus? nope [88] Kiss on the first date? No [89] Angels? not sure on that note tbh OTHER… [90] Current best friend’s name: Amanda [91] Eye colour: Blue [92] Favourite movie: Uhm..probably Aladdin I tag (totally not 25 people): @asleepyauthor @nightrobins @bitchimightbe