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qqueenofhades · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, I’ve been tasked with researching Richard Plantagenet for a paper and thus far found extremely negative accounts of the king, his religious bigotry being a reoccurring theme (his treatment of Jewish dignitaries attending his coronation and his reasoning to join the third crusade etc)

I stumbled across your wonderful tag for Richard at the weekend and wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing your informed opinion of Richard and his views on religions ? Your writing seems very well balanced regarding his attributes and flaws. Thanks :)

Oof. Okay. So, a short and simple question, then?

Quick note: when I was first reading your ask and saw "Richard Plantagenet," I briefly assumed that you meant Richard Plantagenet, father of Edward IV, or perhaps Richard III, both from the Wars of the Roses in the fifteenth century, before seeing from context that you meant Richard I. While "Plantagenet" was first used as an informal appellation by Richard I's grandfather, Geoffrey of Anjou, it wasn't until several centuries later that the English royal house started to use it consistently as a surname. So it's not something that Richard I would have been really called or known by, even if historians tend to use it as a convenient labeling conceit. (See: the one thousand popular histories on "The Plantagenets" that have been published recently.)

As for Richard I, he is obviously an extremely complex and controversial figure for many reasons, though one of the first things that you have to understand is that he has been mythologized and reinvented and reinterpreted down the centuries for many reasons, especially his crusade participation and involvement in the Robin Hood legends. When you're researching about Richard, you're often reading reactions/interpretations of that material more than anything specifically rooted in the primary sources. And while I am glad that you asked me about this and want to encourage you to do so, I will gently enquire to start off: when you say "research," what kind of materials are you looking at, exactly? Are these actual published books/papers/academic material, or unsourced stuff on the internet written from various amateur/ideological perspectives and by people who have particular agendas for depicting Richard as the best (or as is more often the case, worst) ever? Because history, to nobody's surprise, is complicated. Richard did good things and he also did quite bad things, and it's difficult to reduce him to one or the other.

Briefly (ha): I'll say just that if a student handed me a paper stating that Richard was a religious bigot because a) there were anti-Jewish riots during his coronation and b) he signed up for the Third Crusade, I would seriously question it. Medieval violence against the Jews was an unfortunately endemic part of crusade preparations, and all we know about Richard's own reaction is that he fined the perpetrators harshly (repeated after a similar March 1190 incident in York) and ordered for them to be punished. Therefore, while there famously was significant anti-Semitic violence at his coronation, Richard himself was not the one who instigated it, and he ordered for the Londoners who did take part in it to be punished for breaking the king's peace.

This, however, also doesn't mean that Richard was a great person or that he was personally religiously tolerant. We don't know that and we often can't know that, whether for him or anyone else. This is the difficulty of inferring private thoughts or beliefs from formal records. This is why historians, at least good historians, mostly refrain from speculating on how a premodern private individual actually thought or felt or identified. We do know that Richard likewise also made a law in 1194 to protect the Jews residing in his domains, known as Capitula Judaeis. This followed in the realpolitik tradition of Pope Calixtus II, who had issued Sicut Judaeis in c. 1120 ordering European Christians not to harass Jews or forcibly convert them. This doesn't mean that either Calixtus or Richard thought Jews were great, but they did choose a different and more pragmatic/economic way of dealing with them than their peers. This does not prove "religious bigotry" and would need a lot more attention as an analytical concept.

As for saying that the crusades were motivated sheerly by medieval religious bigotry, I'm gonna have to say, hmm, no. Speaking as someone with a PhD in medieval history who specialised in crusade studies, there is an enormous literature around the question of why the crusades happened and why they continue to hold such troubling attraction as a pattern of behavior for the modern world. Yes, Richard went on crusade (as did the entire Western Latin world, pretty much, since 1187 and the fall of Jerusalem was the twelfth century's 9/11). But there also exists material around him that doesn't exist around any other crusade leader, including his extensive diplomatic relations with the Muslims, their personal admiration for him, his friendship with Saladin and Saladin's brother Saif al-Din, the fact that Arabic and Islamic sources can be more complimentary about Richard than the Christian records of his supposed allies, and so forth. I think Frederick II of Sicily, also famous for his friendly relationships with Muslims, is the only other crusade leader who has this kind of material. So however he did act on crusade, and for whatever reasons he went, Richard likewise chose the pragmatic path in his interactions with Muslims, or at least the Muslim military elite, than just considering them all as religious barbarians unworthy of his time or attention.

The question of how the crusades functioned as a pattern of expected behavior for the European Christian male aristocrat, sometimes entirely divorced from any notion of his private religious beliefs, is much longer and technical than we can possibly get into. (As again, I am roughly summarising a vast and contentious field of academic work for you here, so... yes.) Saying that the crusades happened only because medieval people were all religious zealots is a wild oversimplification of the type that my colleague @oldshrewsburyian and I have to deal with in our classrooms, and likewise obscures the dangerous ways in which the modern world is, in some ways, more devoted to replicating this pattern than ever. It puts it beyond the remit of analysis and into the foggy "Dark Ages hurr durr bad" stereotype that drives me batty.

Weighted against this is the fact that Richard obviously killed many Muslims while on crusade, and that this was motivated by religious and ideological convictions that were fairly standard for his day but less admirable in ours. The question of how that violence has been glorified by the alt-right people who think there was nothing wrong with it at all and he should have done more must also be taken into account. Richard's rise to prominence as a quintessentially English chivalrous hero in the nineteenth century, right when Britain was building its empire and needed to present the crusades as humane and civilizing missions abroad rather than violent and generally failed attempts at forced conversion and conquest, also problematized this. As noted, Richard was many things, but... not that, and when the crusades fell out of fashion again in the twentieth century, he was accordingly drastically villainized. Neither the superhero or the supervillain images of him are accurate, even if they're cheap and easy.

The English nationalists have a complicated relationship with Richard: he represents the ideal they aspire to, aesthetically speaking, and the kind of anti-immigrant sentiment they like to put in his mouth, which is far more than the historical Richard actually displayed toward his Muslim counterparts. (At least, again, so far as we can know anything about his private beliefs, but this is what we can infer from his actions in regard to Saladin, who he deeply respected, and Saladin's brother.) But he was also thoroughly a French knight raised and trained in the twelfth-century martial tradition, his concern for England was only as a minor part of the sprawling 'Angevin empire' he inherited from his father Henry II (which is heresy for the Brexit types who think England should always be the center of the world), and his likely inability to speak English became painted as a huge character flaw. (Notwithstanding that after the Norman Conquest in 1066, England did not have a king who spoke English natively until Henry IV in 1399, but somehow all those others don't get blamed as much as Richard.)

Anyway. I feel as if it's best to stop here. Hopefully this points you toward the complexity of the subject and gives you some guidelines in doing your own research from here. :)

#anonymous #ask #history #medieval history #richard the lionheart #long post

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silverdragon-imagines-blog · 3 years ago

Note

does any part of four feel more left out than the others, specifically green? cause i havent seen a lot of stuff centering on green, if any at all. most of the fics ive read have to do with the other parts and green is just kinda left behind. honestly i just want more green content and angst 😅 so yeah. hope this helps spring up more ideas 😊

[Decided to take this as a prompt since it's still technically Four Weeks of Four. Green angst sounds pretty good honestly. Take some self-reflection ^u^ Also this is unedited. Let me know if I need to tag anything differently.]

Warning(s): talk of self-blame and unhealthy habits, but it's pretty brief.

For once, it was quiet at home. Everyone was still asleep, but Green found that he couldn't sleep anymore. With a quiet sigh, he sat up in the large bed he shared with the other Colors, taking a moment to smile at the sight of them cuddled close together.

Red seemed to have grabbed Blue in his sleep, huddled into his chest in his spot between Vio and Blue. The former had wrapped his arms around the both of them, his lankier frame easily encompassing the both of them. Blue had grabbed Green's shirt in his sleep with one hand while the other was holding onto Vio. It was a comforting sight.

Carefully, he peeled Blue's hand off of his shirt, trying not to startle the other awake. As he slipped out of bed and onto the chilled hardwood floor, he took a moment to check around the crowded room. The other heroes were asleep as well, and for that he was grateful.

He took a moment to count heads, Wild cuddled up against Twilight, Sky holding Hyrule and Wind close, the latter of which had a hand on Hyrule's shirt, Legend was back-to-back with Hyrule with Time laying still on his back in between Legend and Warriors, the latter of which was pressed up against the wall.

Stepping carefully around the sleeping bodies, he made his way to the stairway. Avoiding the creaky steps, he entered the main room and headed for the kitchen. He could see the sky from the window and could see that it looked to be a cloudy day. Silently he hoped it wouldn't rain. Grabbing a kettle, he filled it with water and headed to the living room, stirring the fireplace to life and setting the water to boil above it.

The quiet was nice, refreshing even, especially with how loud it could get with so many heroes in one place. They had taken them splitting quite well, especially the Veteran who had seemed to already know about it. It was relieving and allowed them to split much more often. The very fact that they could have time to be away from each other for even a short while was perfect. A fact that Green was currently making the most of.

When the kettle whistled, he quietly cursed and hurriedly took it off the fire. He walked back into the kitchen and rummaged around in the cupboard until he found a suitable mug and his box of tea. Pulling out the small wooden box, smiling slightly at the chiseled and painted green air element symbol on the front, he grabbed a tea bag and dropped it into the empty cup. When the boiling water had been poured inside, he set the kettle on a hot pad to avoid burning the wooden counter (like he had many times before to Blue's frustration).

He made his way back to the living room, a small jar of honey in one hand and the steaming mug of tea in the other. Setting the mug on a coaster, he sat and waited for it to steep. His mind seemed to be just as loud today as it had been when the four were one.

He thought about the groups' goal, to fight the Shadow that had brought them all together. His mind drifted to a similar Shadow, how he had sacrificed himself for them on their last adventure. How they had tried to find a way to bring him back, only to find no leads. How Vio had taken that fact badly and shut down nearly completely, Blue had gotten angry with even the slightest mention of the missing Shade, Red had tried to stay cheerful despite how he would quietly cry alone when no one was watching.

He had ignored his own needs then, trying to make sure everyone was okay and taking care of themselves. It took time, and in fact, it was still a work in progress as every mention of the Shadow they were chasing had them all flinch and clench their fists. He had tried to keep the peace, tried to make sure that they'd all be okay, and now that he had the time to reflect on everything, he realized he was tired.

After their adventure, he was worried that he'd lose them all, that he wouldn't be good enough or strong enough to keep them all safe and alive. The addition of eight other heroes to worry about only made his already stretched worries stretch even further.

With a start, he remembered his tea and quickly took out the teabag. He frowned at the darker color of the tea, knowing he had over-steeped it. He sighed, taking the honey and pouring in a more generous amount than he normally would. He stirred it and then took a sip, the taste not as strong as he had feared it would've been. He chuckled slightly, self-deprecatingly as he realized that maybe he needed a longer break than he thought.

He sat back against the cushion of the chair, holding his warm mug of tea and staring at the fire burning away in the hearth. Each sip of his tea relaxed him further, though not as much as he hoped it would. The quiet sounds of the fire crackling away and the wind blowing against the house was comforting, yet he felt uneasy. He could feel the discomfort of not doing enough right now to help the others growing, making him fidget, but a small part of him, sounding similar to Vio, simply stated that everyone was still asleep and that there isn't anything to do currently.

It was the truth, the only thing he could do currently was cook breakfast, but he had a feeling Red would throw a fit if he wrecked yet another of his pans. The memory of the first time that happened made him chuckle, how Red's face turned the color of his namesake as he yelled and gestured with the mishappen pan. Green had been apologetic and slightly fearful, but Red had calmed considerably when he had offered to make him new cooking tools.

His mind then turned to other memories; Blue demanding a sparring session with him several days in a row, losing often enough that he vowed to knock Green on his ass one day. Vio pulling him aside one day to get him to go on a trip to a far-off town just so he could learn about the culture and people there.

And then newer memories with the group; Sky sitting next to him and asking questions about his era, eyes sparkling with wonder at each new story of their life. Time helping them with taking down bigger opponents, offering pointers that sounded as though from experience. Twilight letting him hitch a ride on his back after he had embarrassed himself by stumbling and twisting his ankle in front of the other Colors. Warriors going over strategies with him late into the night after they had encountered several unfamiliar enemies. Legend helping them with weapon maintenance and trading stories of awful customers as they worked. Wind and Wild taking them on a little adventure to explore a new area no one had seen before. Hyrule going on an even smaller adventure with them to a Minish Village for a celebration.

Green couldn't help but smile more genuinely at each thought, each memory of simply hanging out and having fun or even doing something that he enjoyed. He finished off the mug of tea, now fully relaxed as his mind had finally drifted away from the more stressful topics. As he put the mug into the sink and put the honey away, he found that maybe it would be a good idea to stop keeping such thoughts of his worries bottled up. He would tell one of the others, starting with the other Colors.

'But for now,' he thought, finishing cleaning up after himself with a small smile and glancing out the window to the sun peeking through the clouds, 'I think I'll enjoy the quiet and distance from everyone and take a break.'

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #linkeduniverse fic #linked universe fic #linkeduniverse fics #linked universe fics #lu four #lu green #mentions of other lu characters #silver writes

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the-wolf-who-kissed-the-moon · 4 years ago

Text

• Randvi x female reader 💋

• Warnings: mild adult content (fantasies).

a sapphire for your heart, part III

On the very first day of your arrival, you travelled on horseback all the way to Cent. There, one of Reda’s eyes was waiting to offer you a tent to sleep in and a complete refill of your rations. Dover Cliffs called to you, especially at night, when the moon's pallid glow reflected off those abrupt, chalky shores. Somewhere within those narrow crevices in the mountain, a deep energy pulsed with life; a tear of mother nature, hidden and forgotten among piles and piles of sand and pebbles. You followed that silent lull, and by sunrise, you exited those pristine canyons with a bag full of colorful gems.

Several days after your find, you returned to Ravensthorpe to meet Reda again. You’ve been so focused on your treasure-digging tasks that you’ve forgotten all about the residents of that growing little village. However, the closer you rode to Randvi, the more she crossed your mind. You nearly stopped several times when you heard a voice similar to hers calling in Norwegian. And when you’d catch a glimpse of a woman’s beautiful auburn hair, your gaze would naturally follow. Of course, it wasn’t her; but oh… how much you secretly wished it was.

As you spotted the longhouse in the distance, your heart begun to race and flutter all at once. In the back of your mind, you’ve always thought of her; but now, without any tasks to distract you from your fantasies, you were suddenly overwhelmed by a deep, burning desire to be in her presence again.

Gods, if only she knew…

“Hello again. Back so soon?”

Reda called from beneath the large sage tree, where he’d gathered all the village children to tell them stories. You smiled as you dismounted your horse.

“Soon? With a map so well-drawn, I’d be embarrassed to take a moment longer.”

By evening, everyone was gathered in the longhouse for supper. Cheers and traditional music echoed off those tall wooden walls, creating a pleasant atmosphere to enjoy a drink with close friends and family. You were ravenous from your long trip back, and yet you took your time to savor your meal as you told stories of your travels. The children were flocking around your table, and some adults eventually turned to watch you whilst the music played a little softer.

“A dragon?! You really saw a real, talking, flaming dragon?”

A little boy asked, and you had to bite back laughter. Your story did have a grain of truth, but perhaps not as fantastic as their wild imagination made it to be. You wiped your mouth with a handkerchief and continued.

“It was asleep when I got there. Petrified. Yet his scales shimmered like little drops of gold, and his wings were made of millions of precious stones. All of them were red, like poppies.”

“Oh, oh! I know! They’re called rubies!” A small girl exclaimed as she shifted on her seat with vivid excitement. You confirmed with a nod as you smiled at her warmly, but then, your gaze seemed to naturally find that familiar figure which never left you mind.

Randvi was there, leaning against a pillar with her strong arms crossed over her chest. While she was a small distance away, she seemed to have been listening to your tales with great interest, her dazzling eyes affixed on you. You couldn’t look away. The sight of her was something to behold; a rough kind of beauty you’ve never seen before, a warrior enveloped in sensual feminine charms. There was a hint of a smile on her rosy lips, and her gaze softened the more you peered into her beckoning eyes. She motioned with her head for you to follow her into the map room, and without question, you did.

The creaking floor boards disheveled your nerves, like little ripples on the surface of a very still lake. Heat rushed to your cheeks as Randvi suddenly turned to face you, leaning back against the large table. A particular kind of charm lingered about her – a deep, sultry energy. It was her beautiful blue eyes, the way she looked at you, silently inviting.

“I interrupted you, I’m sorry.” She spoke and you quickly shook your head. It was fine. For her, anything was fine.

“I recently came across something that might interest you. It belonged to a group of raiders which attempted an attack on Ravensthorpe, and of course, greatly failed.” And she reached across the table to produce a neatly folded map, carefully opening it. You stood still, silent and in awe, finding it more and more difficult to focus on anything but her.

Were you bewitched? Was this fate mercilessly tossing you into a bottomless pit of beautiful despair? You couldn’t quite tell why you were feeling so weak all of a sudden. She was indeed enthralling, but it was more than her ravishing appearance which pulled you in. She was full of secrets. Hidden beneath that strong, stoic shield, there were raw emotions and passions waiting to be discovered. And they called for you, just like mother nature’s precious treasures called to be unearthed.

“Come here, have a better look.” Randvi motioned for you gently, and you followed like a moth to a flame. By Gods, you must’ve been a hopeless cause.

“Ah, I see.” You took in a sharp breath as you scanned the new map quickly. For you, those symbols and roads were easy to read and interpret, like second nature. You could already picture the real landscape, the ruins, the earth which hid those treasures well. That energy vibrating from beneath stone and soil, waiting to be found.

“If you help us find it, we will fairly spread it in half.” The beautiful warrior murmured quietly, and when her arm draped over your narrow shoulders to pull you in, you thought your legs would crumble. Her hand was heavy, her grip strong as she cupped your arm; yet she was careful not to hurt, gentle like a dove. She whispered details of the treasures only for you to hear, mindful of the many people still indulging in the plentiful dinner. You nodded, absorbing each word that rolled so gracefully off her lips as you followed the trail of her finger on the map. Surely, her intention was not to stir you up like this, but the closeness was overwhelming, suffocating, making you burn all over.

You slowly shifted away from beneath her large, strong arm, and dared to find her gaze in the glowing light of the ceiling. Her beautiful, thick eyebrows rose and she appeared surprised that you pulled away. Whether it was just your naïve mind giving false meaning to a woman’s innocent acts, you couldn’t tell, but if what you saw in Randvi was true, then your feelings were reciprocated. Quickly, you nodded.

“I accept. In two days we can start our journey.” You spoke with newfound confidence, pulling yourself together.

***

The warmth of that beautiful Norse goddess’s touch left a deep, burning imprint on your shoulder.

Albeit it was harshly storming and the winds were crisp, you felt hot and sleep refused to pull you in the land of dreams. The bedding was heavy, tangling in your limbs as you shifted from side to side restlessly. Each time your tired eyelids fell closed, you saw the image of her; handsome cheekbones glowing, a piercing pair of eyes shimmering like Larimar and Azurite, and lips like dew dripping off wild rose petals.

Your chest heaved with a deep sigh as you slowly relaxed your body. There was a smouldering feeling between your legs, pulsing, making you shift and press your knees together. The thought of Randvi aroused you, filled your mind with unholy thoughts. You suddenly craved her rough grip, imagining how good those powerful viking hands would feel on your breasts, on your throat, and on your hips… How skillfully that beautiful mouth of hers would stir your desires as it would dance across your lips…

Thunder struck by your window, abruptly pulling you from your dirty fantasies, and you sat up. Rain came in heavy waves, drenching the little village. It called to you, like many of mother nature’s wonderful things did, and so you left your hut to sit beneath that heavy pour, trusting those cold drops to chase the devil out of you. And you spun, with arms outstretched, welcoming that freezing sensation which enveloped your body. As you slowly danced in the rain, thoroughly running your hands through your long hair, you briefly noticed light in the longhouse. It must’ve been the hearth which burned continuously – a never-dying flame of warmth and soothing, homely comfort. Curiosity pushed you towards that enormous structure, unarmed and barefoot as you were, and with your night dress heavily dripping with rainwater.

The cold was beginning to settle in your bones, and so, as you reached the warm entrance to the longhouse, you stood beneath its majestic threshold to bask in that golden light. The scent of fire and old wood lingered in the air pleasantly. As you guessed, no one was around at that ungodly hour of the night – but you heard it again… that deep, heart wrenching, muffled sob.

It was her; Randvi.

However, instead of weeping over ‘Eivor', she was faintly calling her husband’s name in between soft cries and suffocated breaths. That feeble voice impaled your heart, twisting and turning in your chest as if her pain was your own. Oh, how much you wished to break those walls down and wrap her in your arms, to kiss the anguish off her heated cheeks and never see a single tear of suffering in those precious azure gems. But as you heard heavy steps echo into the map chamber, you rushed back to your hut, terrified of being caught.

- To be continued…

*part IV.

#randvi x reader #randvi fanfiction #valhalla #randvi #lesbian fanfic #lesbian love #sapphic love

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 4 years ago

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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spinster-sisters · 4 years ago

Text

Sunflower. Final LTY

warnings: smut and general sexy times, also cheating so theres that

a.n: Hey guys this took 2 days to write but i will say after finishing this that consent is sexy

also this is longer than i intended

ALSO IVE SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN THIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS FUCKED AND NOT AN EXAMPLE OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

REPOST FROM MY OLD BLOG

You are sitting on the corner of a couch in a dark hazy room, you held your knees to your chest and your head lulled onto the back of the couch. There was music floating gently in and out of your ears, you couldn’t make out the lyrics over the soft hum of chatter in the room but you are much too drunk to care. Your body seemed too heavy to move, but once again, you didn’t mind at all. You shifted your eyes slowly around the room observing the human-shaped masses moving about the apartment or slumped into chairs like you. Normally you would feel anxious to be this vulnerable in a room this crowded, but not now. This wasn’t a “party” exactly, more of a throwback that escalated more than anyone thought it would, but still, there was nobody here who you wouldn’t call a friend. Of course, that includes him. You had always hung around in similar circles so it wasn’t surprising that he was here. But It left a sour taste in your mouth to think of the last time you came face to face.

“Fuckkkkk,” groaning you finally forced your body into a more upright position. Your body was protesting madly as the weight of gravity seemed about 10 times more powerful than average. There was a dull ache in your back as a result of the position you previously lay in so you hunched your back forward to try and work out the knots. Your eyelids were just as heavy as your head as you lifted them to scan the room more severely once more. Who were you looking for? you could have sworn that just a few seconds ago you were looking for someone. But none of the figures in front of you seemed to be what you wanted.

You didn’t have time to continue this train of thought before the fuzz in your brain lulled you back onto the couch once more. Your eyes remained open, drifting in and out of focus in one spot on the opposite side of the room. It wasn’t until one of the figures began moving your way could they seem to take in an image. Who was this guy? your drunk brain asked itself. “I think I know him,” you thought as a small pout of concentration crossed your face as the man got closer and closer. It wasn’t until he was standing directly in front of you, smiling at your clearly amusing look of confusion, that you were finally able to place his face. The pout was swapped for a drunken smile.

“Jaehyuuun!” you called slurring the final syllable of his name lifting your arms into the air. Gravity brought your arms crashing back down onto the couch beside you and you were about to push off the couch in an effort to stand up before Jaehyun placed a gentle hand on your shoulder pushing you back down.

“Don’t try,” His smile widened, “You’re just going to fall over"

You only half registered his words and were repeating them over and over in your brain trying to make some sense of them.

"you’re going to…You’re going-…You’re going tooooooo….” your mind trailed off once again

During this time Jaehyun took it upon himself to sit down next to you. The dip in the sofa through your balance through a loop and you almost toppled onto the floor again, saved only by the wild flailing of your arms in the process. As you resituated your self cross-legged on the couch facing the man, all thoughts once again seemed to leave your head once again. Your mouth hung open the slightest bit trying to regain the thoughts that occupied your head moments ago. You raked your eyes up and down the smiling man grasping at straws of thought, and for the first time, you noticed the glass situated in his left hand. He pushed the glass twords you.

“Here I think you’ll need this to get home tonight” The kind smile still not leaving his somewhat blurry face. It was only after his words did you realize how thirsty you were and how dry your lips are. you practically lunged for the drink, grabbing it with both hands to steady yourself and taking large gulps. The water was cool and gave some relief to your spinning head as you sat back, letting the half-full glass rest lazily on your leg. Your eyes filtered around the room once again before they came to rest on him as they always seemed to do.

“Taeyong,” seemed to be the only thought your brain could hold onto at the moment.

Even in the dark and smokey room, he glowed. There was a thin sheen of sweet on his body (It was very hot in the room) but to what would have been a surprise had your drunk brain realized it, he looked remarkably sober. Your eyes drifted in and out of focus once again vaguely in the direction of him.

Jaehyun turned to follow your gaze. When he saw the target his dimples pushed themselves forward into a smile before he shook his head and turned back to you, giving your dazed face a once over then pushing himself off the couch.

You noticed his actions for the first time after this sudden movement and adjusted your head to look up at him, frowning once again. An arm (Which turned out to be yours) lifted to grasp onto the man’s arm.

“Where?” was the only thing you could slur out at the moment.

“Just to walk around” He reasoned politely with your now drooping form. His words sounded distant and foggy, but you understood them none the less and nodded exaggeratedly before releasing your grip on his forearm.

Jaehyun turned to leave, leaving you in a similar position to before he arrived. The glass that he handed you was now empty and rolling smoothly from your hand onto the carpeted floor where it landed with a soft clunk.

You sat there for what seemed like hours but was likely only a few minutes. The shapes around you moved gently as the moments ticked by. Every breath you took seemed to hum in your whole body just as slow as the minuted ticked by. Your eyes slowly shut once again, mind trailing to and from the sounds of the people, and your breathing became heavier and heavier.

“hmm” your brain though.

“I’m sleeeeeepy” you drawl in your head.

Just as your mind was about to drift into something like sleep, your body was shifted once again by the couch dipping beside you. There was a buzzing in the front of your head as your eyes forced themselves open once again.

This time you had no problem focusing on the person before you, and the sour taste you felt earlier returned as well as your pout. It was Taeyong. He was looking at you with a scrutinizing gaze. Your face blushed as the heat began building in your body, as it always did when he looked at your for too long or too hard. Taeyongs eyebrow raised slightly at your expression. He reached out a hand. His warm palm landed on your already burning cheek. Your mind was swirling once again as if you took two more shots. It continued to swirl with indistinguishable thoughts as his mouth moved to form words. It took your brain several moments to realize he was speaking to you and you only caught the tail end of his sentence.

“-doing, baby?"

Confusion spread through your features once again, making it clear you had not understood his words. Taeyong didn’t seem to mind that as he didn’t repeat his words, only allowing his hand to fall to your jean-clad knee which was still cross-legged in front of you on the couch. Its heat radiated from the spot just as it did when it was on your face. Taeyong scooched closer to you and shifted his hand to the underside of your knee to extend the leg over his lap. Your body responded without your mind by heaving the other leg to rest over him as well.

His eyes shifted forward to face the room as his fingers began swirling figure eights over your leg. His touch was soothing the furrow on your brow as you relaxed slowly from his touch, your body sinking lower and lower into the couch.

The water Jaehyun gave you earlier seemed to be allowing glimpses of clarity in your head as for the first time you realized how late it must be getting. You were beginning to lull back into your drowsy state, with the added comfort of the soft touch on your leg. But it seemed Taeyong had different plans. However slow your mind was at the moment it took you no time at all to recognize the feeling of his hand sliding up your leg. You watched the hands journey and instinctively squeezed your legs together as his hand drifted up your body leaving a buzzing trail all the way. It came to rest at the top of your thigh, where your hip met the base of your leg. Your eyes finally snapped to his own where they still looked out into the somewhat crowded room. One finger tapped on the spot, wordlessly commanding you to allow him access to your core should he so desire.

Taeyong seemed to be toying with the idea of acting farther by rubbing his hand slowly from the outside of your leg to the inside of your thigh, one finger brushing repeatedly against the seam of your jeans that ran along your hot core, which twitched every time he did so. It was clear that he could feel the reaction your body gave him, and the smirk that made its way onto his lips was evidence enough. Taeyong, though he regularly asserted his "ownership” over you by leaving dark unmistakable marks on your neck and chest and bruises on your hips from his tight grip, was usually strongly against even sitting next to you in public, much less shove his hand down your pants. The tiny sober part of your brain spoke in a quiet voice in your head.

“Do you want Taeyong to finger you in front of all your friends?” Your mind went back and forth between the two options as his hand sank lower, coming to rest securely between your now slightly pulsing heated and your thigh, rubbing his pinky slightly up and down creating friction so close to where your body wanted it. He was waiting. Waiting for you to inevitably say or do something that would allow him to continue, solidifying that he had you in his grasp once again.

It was clear the turmoil in your head was causing you a lot of distress. It was clear he made up his mind about wanting this, to do whatever he was going to do here and now. But you were still on the fence, you would normally follow his lead no questions asked and a good part of you wanted to see where this was going. But nevertheless, the sober part of your brain seemed to be growing louder and louder with each passing second, playing his last words to you over and over in your head. How many of them were true? all if it? None of it? Which did you prefer? your head swam with there questions, going back and forth to many times to count.

Finally, it was clear to you which side had won. You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. The room had finally come completely into focus, all of the noise and chatter returned to your ears. Pushing your self up with your hands you swung your legs away from him. The spot where his hand had been felt stingingly empty, but with your head now clear the only thought that occupied your head now was those moments a few nights before.

“you know what the best part is? It will fucking stay that way, cuz I know that right now you are just eating up all the attention I am giving you aren’t you, you pathetic bitch!”

You heard the small noise of surprise that escaped him as you pushed your self away from the couch. Taking the room with a new stride your located your target and moved to meet them. Jaehyun stood with a few friends talking causally. He turned to look at you when you reached the small pack where the conversation came to a pause.

“Hey, I understand if you don’t want to but I think I had a bit too much to drink and I don’t think I should go home alone, would you take me?” You asked with a plastered smile on your face. This honestly wasn’t true, you felt more awake and aware at this moment than you had in years, but walking around alone at night didn’t sound like fun. You know Jaehyun thought he was being subtle when his eyes flicked over to the man still sat on the couch, but you caught it none the less. They flicked back to you, gave you a once over, and then he smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, sure. I was going to leave anyway.” He spoke in his usual powerful yet soft voice. You had a feeling this was a lie but now was not the time.

Jaehyun was the first to move, taking a step forward, placing a hand on your lower back as he passed, and lead you through the hazy room to the exit. The two of you maneuvered through the room and around furniture before landing at the front door. Jaehyun reached out and opened the door, wide enough for the both of you to step through. In those moments that the door closed behind you, you braved one last look at Taeyong who still sat dumbfounded on the couch.

“Not so pathetic now am I,” You thought triumphantly as the door clicked shut.

———–

That night that Jaehyun walked you home, would turn into many. And as the school year drew to a close and graduation approached you found yourself in a new relationship. The first stable one you have had since high school. Jaehyun, who was once best friends with Taeyong, seemed to have no problem leaving that part of your lives behind and neither did your friends. They all saw Jaehyun as a massive improvement in both temper and manner, and you had to say you agree. You still saw Taeyong from time to time, it’s not as if you didn’t still have many friends in common, but they were rarely extended longer than a quick glance in each other’s direction. It would be a lie to say that a part of you didn’t want to run to him, but then in those moments, Jaehyun would appear in your apartment carrying take out a rented movie and those thoughts would leave as quickly as they came.

Jaehyun was just better for you, his kisses were sweeter and his eyes kinder. Enough so that on the day of your graduation it was him that earned a hardy handshake from your father and a kiss on the cheek from your mother. At that point, you had only been dating him for a few months, but he seemed perfectly content appeasing your parent’s dreams for an ideal son in law.

And that was 4 years ago. You and Jaehyun had moved to New York not long after the end of your time in college, both of you only briefly spending the summer with your parents and saying your last goodbyes to your childhood homes. You don’t know why you choose to stay with Jaehyun during this time, but it leads you to your perfectly content life you have here today. You are now 26, engaged to the man who took you home those years ago, living in a decently sized apartment in a nice neighborhood, with a good job you have held for the past 2 years, and everything in your life was perfectly content.

Jaehyun had proposed earlier that year at the restaurant you went on your first night in New York, and though no plans have been made as of yet it has not stopped your mother from absolutely gushing over the two of you calling constantly to check up on “any possible new developments” As it happens, your parents love Jaehyun just as much as the day they met him face to face. Your heart warmed when you thought of your life, a wonderful man, a good job and a promising future in both. Job is best summarized as a traveling salesman for a larger company in the city. You spent the majority of your time at the office, making calls and setting up meetings with clients, but about 2 weekends a month you would fly out to a different part of the world to meet up with your clients and make sales. It really was the perfect job for you, as it rarely ever went wrong.

Accept for today, however. You had missed your initial arranged flight in business class and had to pay out of pocket to reach your destination in the least comfortable and most noisy part of the plane, and as your flight was to pairs, it wasn’t exactly a short ride. After arriving, very jetlagged and in need of a nice bed, your luggage was lost at the airport and you had to stay well into the night trying to find your things. After finally giving up on the search you made your way to the hotel, only to find that this particular hotel did not allow guests t check-in past 11 pm. (A stupid rule honestly) and you would have to wait till morning. With your phone on its last few percentages, and stranded in a foreign city you staggard your way into a small cramped bar at the end of a street, planning on finding a place to charge your phone enough to find a cheap motel for the night.

Your bones cracked as you landed yourself in a barstool and the end of the bar. the only things you had with you were the items in your carry on and a note from the front desk of the hotel on when to arrive the next morning to check-in. The cushion of the seat was soft and plushy but it did nothing to soothe the aching in your body. You cant speak french, so when the bartender approached you, you only gestured vaguely to the now-dead phone in your hands. It seems the round looking old man understood as pointed to an outlet at the end of the bar.

All of the stools around you were empty, so you felt comfortable enough to put your bag down to plug in your phone. It was after you saw your phone flash a blue blinking light did you allow yourself to relax onto the bar. Yours propped your head up with your hand to look around the room. It was nice enough, seemed clean and no one looked suspicious. But despite these things you could help but feel restless. You continued to shift in your seat and glance around the room.

Soon the tinkling of the bell that signified the arrival of a new customer sounded. You looked up at the sound, but the figure who entered could not be seen through the small crowd of older men sitting by the door. Your eyes drooped slightly and closed, finally feeling the weight of the day. A few seconds passed before a hand landed on yours.

Your eyes flung open as you yanked your hand away. After the initial shock, you looked to where your hand once lay, where the new one still sat waiting. The hand was eerily familiar.

No, there was no way.

Your eyes quickly followed the slope of the arm, up to the face that only visited you in your most private thoughts.

Taeyong stood before you.

He kept his eyes on your own as he lowered himself onto the stool next to you. His eyes bore into you, in the same way, they had before, and with the same intensity, they never seemed to shed. You still sat rigid in your seat, mouth hanging open slightly in surprise. Your eyes broke the stare when the flicked over to your phone that was still charging on the wooden bar. Your first reaction was to call Jaehyun, but your brain stopped itself before making the move. He would be asleep anyway. You looked back to Taeyong and allowed yourself to really see him for the first time.

It was his smell that hit you first and filled the air around you, and it clouded your other senses just as it always had done. He wasn’t the tallest man in the world, yet his commanding presence allowed him to loom over everyone no matter their height. It briefly occurred to you that you could just get up and leave, but it was this same domineering energy that enticed you to stay rooted in your seat. He was dressed nice, in a crisp button-down and slacks, and his hair was styled neatly to the side allowing his whole face to be visible in the dim lighting of the bar. And he glowed just as radiantly as always.

Whatever intensity that you were using to study his face, he was returning to you with equal vigor as his eyes raked down your figure several times.

Finally, he was the first to speak.

“How are you” he spoke, much more casually than the situation required. He turned to face the bartender and waved him down.

“Umm, Ok?” You forced out much too long after he asked the question.

“Good, good. I'mdoing well myself."

Taeyongs voice sounded like you were old friends catching up at a weekly brunch, and quite frankly it pissed you off. Who was he to sit down and act like you hadn’t seen him in years or that the memories were good ones? You turned in your seat to face him with your whole body, one hand still plastered on the hardwood. You sat up a bit straighter.

"Wait a minute, hold on- what exactly are you doing?-” The words built-in force and volume as you continued. Taeyong, who never had any trouble reading you, placed a feather-light hand on your once again. Your hand twitched in response but did not pull away. You could feel the familiar heat he gave you start to burn in the places where his hand made contact. And yes, he succeeded in quieting you.

The bartender approached, spoke a few words in french to Taeyong, and to your great surprise Taeyong responded in french as well. Though you don’t know exactly what was said, it was easy to guess as the older man moved to begin making whatever Taeyong had ordered. He now turned his attention back to you and raised an eyebrow, encouraging you to continue.

And after a moment you followed the instruction. You took a deep breath and spoke,

“How are you here right now?” seemed to be the best way to phrase your confusion.

“I live here now,” He said plainly, as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“How?” was what you went with next.

“Well, after graduation I got an internship at a global bank. After 3 years, they needed someone in Paris, so I came. And here I have been for the past year.” once again far too casual for your liking. you thought of asking what he was doing in this particular bar on this particular night before it occurred to you that bankers often worked strange hours.

“So you have been living in Paris for a year? And I am just now hearing about this?"

"Did you want to know?"

His words were heavy. Much heavier than their initial meaning, and he looked at you with a kind of genuine curiosity you had never seen in him before. The honest answer was kind of. At the beginning of your time in New York, you would often find your self wondering what became of Taeyong. You still spoke to many of the old friends you made in college and had subtly expressed this interest to those closest to you. You almost expected them to tell you if anything big happened to the man. Nevertheless, you shook your head no.

He gave you a look that simply said "You can’t lie to me” but he didn’t push the subject any further.

“So what have you been doing?” He asked back in his casual tone, taking a sip of one of the drinks the bartender had just places in front of the two of you. You were in no way here to get drunk but decided to sip on the drink nevertheless. You stared straight forward, placing both hands on the bar as you responded.

“Um, working mostly. Here on business, you know?” You tried speaking in the same casual tone, but it sounded much to forced to be genuine.

“Right,” He responded. It sounded somewhat distracted. Out of curiosity you looked back at him and found him staring intently at your left hand, or at the ring would be a better way to put it. You don’t know why but you felt slightly embarrassed. You flushed a little and shifted your hand away from his gaze. He seemed to finally realize he was staring and looked up to meet your eyes.

“So you are-"

"engaged, yeah” It felt extremely wrong to let him say that word, so you beat him to it. He arches an eyebrow inquisitively and asked.

“To?”

You didn’t want to admit it. Your life in New York seemed so far away right now and the last thing you wanted was for Taeyong to be aware of it. Your head dropped to stare at the wood grain as you responded.

“Uhh, Jaehyun” You didn’t know what to expect from his reaction, so you spoke hesitantly and barely above a whisper.

“Ah”

There was a flash of something dark in his eyes, and for a second he looked much more like the man you knew back in college. But he did not seem to want to speak about it anymore. Instead, he took another deeper drink, and you followed suit. The two of you sat in a tension-filled silence for several minutes. The hum of noise from the bar patrons was not enough to drown off the thoughts racing through your head. You glanced up at Taeyong for a moment. He looked deep in thought, and it was this that made you noticed how different he was. He looked fuller, his eyes and cheeks looked less sunken in and his body a tad bit more toned than he was before, and most of all his glow was different. Before it was a red haze that made your heart race, and now it was a golden glow that stoped all thoughts. These differences would have been indistinguishable to the untrained eye, but you, who had spent so long gushing over every inch of him could spot them clear as day. You probably knew his face better then he knew it himself.

It was here that it occurred to you that you were likely a bit different as well, in what ways you did not know, but you had a suspicion he could point them out. Taeyong moved to speak and was only able to get the first few words out.

“Look, I-” The tone of his voice was enough to tell you what he was going to say, and it was too unlike him for your liking

“Taeyong please don’t apologize” You could explain why but you wanted those memories of him to be intact, and if he apologized it would change the way you saw those moments together. He looked taken aback but pressed on.

“I just want you to know, that you meant more to me back then than you will probably ever know.” He took another drink and looked straight ahead. You found this to be a hard revelation to follow.

“Funny way of showing it” you murmured more to yourself than to him. But he heard you nonetheless and followed up his previous words.

“I am aware that I was awful, and you won’t catch me making excuses for the way I acted. I was selfish and cruel to everyone in my life. I always wanted more than I had, even if I couldn’t stand the idea of losing something. I guess the best way to put it is that I wanted you to need me but I didn’t want to need you.”

His words were genuine, that you could tell. But you didn’t know if they made you feel any better. All they seemed to do was prove that you weren’t enough for him. This seemed to show on your face, and Taeyong was oh so good and reading you. He did not speak, he just reached out and grabbed your hand tightly. His warm fingers burned in comparison to the cold metal of your ring. But you could only seem to focus on the heat. His hand firmly grounded you in your place when your head felt like you were going to float away.

After a few more moments he lifted his hand just enough to gently circle his fingers over the back of your hand. The action felt so familiar. He always had a habit of “Petting” your, whether it is your hand or your face. You suppose this just proves he isn’t that different from back then after all. The things he did that made your heart ache for him remained the same.

His hand began ghosting it was up your arm, leaving a gentle buzz wherever he touched. Your heart fluttered, which it hasn’t done in a long time. Fuck. Why is it that he still had this power over you, even when he wasn’t trying. It wasn’t fair. You had always known that he would always have a place in your heart. But you never knew how large of a part it was until his hand moved onto your back rubbing it in circles. You leaned into his touch.

With his other hand, he finished the rest of his drink.

“Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep?” He asked, finally addressing how late it was.

“My hotel won’t let me check-in.” You replied distantly feeling the tickle of his hand. He looked conflicted for a moment then spoke.

“You can stay at my apartment for the night if you would like.”

You both knew what would happen if you said yes. There was no way it wouldn’t. You thought of Jaehyun, and how good he had been to you, and how he would feel if he knew that you had even seen Taeyong. You mulled it over for several minutes. But the soothing hand on your back somehow pushed all thoughts of your fiance from your mind.

Finally, you took one last swig from your drink.

“I would like that."

——-

it did not take long after that. Taeyong paid for the drinks, insisting after you pulled out your wallet. The two of you exited the bar, hand in hand which felt a tab bit too natural.

When you arrived in the apartment (a verrry nice apartment) there was very little pretending. You removed your shoes as he had done and waited for his command. At this point, you had submitted to the idea of needing him. He just filled you with a desire that no one else could. Taeyong reattached your hands and lead you over his shoulder, through the dark rooms. Every step forward left you with more and more anticipation, you needed this so much.

The door to his bedroom was pushed open. It was large and elegant. Beautiful furnishing and a soft glow emanated from the lamp next to his bed. But you weren’t paying much attention to the room, instead, you were watching him. From the view of his back, you could tell just how much he wanted this too. He released your hand and continued to walk forward, rolling his shoulders as he did so. He is so beautiful, even when you couldn’t see his face. you felt a magnetic pull to him, leading your next actions. Taeyong moved onto his bed, he situated himself on in the middle, his back resting on the headboard. He looked at you so intently, so expectantly, as though he could see right through your clothes. Which, you had to remind yourself, he had seen you completely bare before, many times.

"Will you strip for me, baby?” He phrased it like a question, though there was no doubt you would do it. The only nickname was enough to bring your to your knees, but you stayed standing. He didn’t tell you to kneel. The first layer to come off was your sweater, which concealed the thin shirt you had on underneath. Next was the shirt itself which you did not hesitate to pull over your head. You suddenly thought of the tattoo on your ribs, the one that had angered him so much before. Your breath hitched, not wanting him to leave you again. But he showed no sign of anger. Instead, his desire only grew in his eyes.

The bra you chose for the day was nothing special, just a plain pink color, but he looked at you like you are the only thing in the world. His eyes were hungry and needy, willing you to move faster. But his actions did not betray his composure, but you could see the outline of his dick starting to strain itself against his slacks. And if your brain was functioning properly you would have noticed how your mouth watered.

“keep going Baby, its been so long since I’ve seen your body.” He cooed at you.

You unbuckled your pants and slid them down your legs and stepped out of them. You were dangerously close to throwing yourself at him but more than anything you wanted to obey. You unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor. Your naked chest was now bare. The cold air nipped at your skin, causing your nipples to harden. You blushed a little dusting of pink, that only burned brighter at his next words.

“I wanna see your pussy baby” He remained, growing somewhat impatient. The words caused heat to flood to your core making it wetter and stickier than before. You hooked your finger into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down. His smirk grew into a wild smile and the sight of arousal glistening on your heat. Taeyong used his finger to motion you onto the bed and you followed quickly. Your body was burning with both slight embarrassment and desire, but with your ruined panties still hanging from your finger you clambered onto the bed. You kneeled in front of his relaxed fully dressed figure. And though he was situated below you, you felt so small as his eyes raked up and down your body. His wicked smile never left his face as he reached out and took the soaked pink panties from your hand. He held them tightly in his hand and motioned you to straddle his waist. Which you did obediently. Your pussy was now resting directly on the tent in his slacks dampening the fabric. He groaned out slightly at the feeling.

“Your so wet Baby, your dripping on me. Who made you this wet baby.” He spoke in a coddling voice, as his hands came to rest on your naked hips, swirling from there down to your ass, giving it a tight squeeze before trailing back to their original position, never letting go of your panties. You squeaked in response to the invading touch.

“Baby, that’s not an answer”

“It’s you,” you said in a small voice.

“Speak up baby, I can hear you” He teased. Rolling his sinful hips into yours. The rough surface of his pants rubbed against your clit and you nearly choked.

“It’s you Taeyong” you spoke with a little more force. This seemed to appease him.

“That’s right, me, not anyone else.” He spoke definitively. You knew what he meant. He was referring to Jaehyun, who is likely just waking up to go to work about now.

His words were eerily familiar. Your mind flashed back to the night when he first saw your tattoo and the screaming match that took place. He had spoken to you the same way. Possessive, reminding you who had all of your desire, who could make you feel better than anyone else and how much you needed him.

But you didn’t have time to think about that because Taeyong attached himself to your lips with his own pillowy ones. The sensation of kissing Taeyong was just as intoxicating as it always had been. He took the lead and pried open your mouth with his tongue. His hands firmed their grip on your waist, and the wet spot from your panties felt sticky against your side. His tongue slipped it’s way inside your mouth, exploring it in the way he had always done before. He even tasted the same.

Your mind was going cloudy as your mouths moved in sync. Just as you had found your rhythm Taeyong broke the kiss. He practically threw you onto your back and move to loom over you. You yelped loudly in surprise, but once again he did not give you time to react before folding your legs to your chest and holding them in place. His entire attention was focused on your glistening pussy, raking his eyes over it over and over again. He leaned back only long enough to set your panties down at the top of the bed, before returning to the previous position. Using one had to keep your legs in place he used the other to brush over the sticky surface, which twitches at the touch.

“Aw, baby, look how pretty your little cunt is.” He remarked before sliding his middle finger into your hole. You moaned loudly, not expecting the feeling of being entered so soon. The juices from your arousal eased his way as he pumped the finger in and out.

“Still so tight to, when was the last time anyone fucked your right?” He asked, but did not expect an answer through the moans as he dived into your core, his tongue finding its purchase on your swollen clit. You squirmed violently in his grip, keening and mewling all the while.

“Too long apparently” He mused coming away from your cunt just long enough to say the words, before diving back in swirling his tongue around your folds, his finger still pumping quickly letting more juices flow. In those brief moments, you could see his face, it was already dripping with your arousal making his lips look plumper than before if possible.

He continued the ministration with intensity, adding another finger into your hole, and occasionally nibbling slightly at your flesh. You practically screaming yourself hoarse as time went on. You were so aroused you could feel the juice the wasn’t lapped up by Taeyongs Tounge drip onto the bedcovers below you.

’“You’re making such a mess” He growled into your core. The vibrations from his words traveled into and up your body, causing you to latch your hands into his hair. Without breaking his stride Taeyong momentarily released your legs only long enough to detach your hands from his hair and hold them by the wrist together, then using the same arm hold your legs back in position. The slight discomfort was nothing compared to the burning in your tummy, which was knotting itself tightly waiting to come undone.

“Tae-” you were going to inform him in your now hoarse voice that you were going to cum any minute, however, he beat you to the punch once again.

“Trust me, baby, I know"

of course, he did.

Your movements were now much more restricted but you could only writhe when he pushed a third long finger into you stretching the limits of your cunt. He continued to suck on your bud harshly, but it was the feeling of the three fingers moving inside you at a deliberate pace, pushing against your walls oh so deliciously that caused the knot in your stomach to snap. You came hard, your entire body convulsed as Taeyongs finger pumped you through the feeling, drawing out the waves of pleasure radiating from your pussy. Your eyes squeezed shut as you cried out in a broken voice.

To soon the feeling passed. You lay there damn near lifeless, but that didn’t stop Taeyong from lapping up all of the arousal from your cunt, which twitched in sensitivity every time his tongue made contact. You involuntarily moved away from his mouth, but he wouldn’t let you move until he had lapped up every last drop. Finally, he gave you the relief of moving away. The tightness you had been holding finally releasing. You opened your eyes just enough to see him lean back on his heels and slip each glistening finger into his mouth, one by one, and suck them clean. You burned with embarrassment and tried to hide your face, but you had nowhere to hide with your hands still being restricted. Finally, he looked directly into your flushed face and gave you a lopsided smile, his face still covered in a sticky gleam.

"Sorry baby, you just taste so good.”

After his words, he finally released you from his arms. Your legs were a little sore, but you couldn’t care less. You were exhausted enough to fall asleep where you lay, but of course, Taeyong wouldn’t allow that.

Finally, Taeyong unbuttoned his shirt and threw it away. You were so transfixed by him. He was just so god damn beautiful and looked radiant in the dim light. You were so busy staring you barely noticed him undo his pants and pull his dick out his boxers. It looked painfully hard and red, and you moved to sit up to take it in your hand, but you were pushed back down. Taeyong pumped his dick a few times, spreading the precum down his length making it shine.

“Ah, ah, ah Baby. No time for that, I need to remind you how it feels to be fuck by someone who knows what they are doing.” The subtle jab did not go unnoticed. But fuck if you thought about it for more than a second with the anticipation of being filled up, rose in you once again. Taeyong pushed your legs up once again, and though your joints protested you did not.

He gave his dick one more pump, before leaning over you and lining himself up with your entrance. He leaned especially close into your ear, speaking into the shell of it and whispered.

“Do you want me, Baby? Want me to fuck you like you deserve"

The words flooded your aching heat with arousal once again.

"Yes please, fill me up Tae, please” the last word came out more like a whisper than anything, but he heard you nonetheless. And he did not need to be told twice. In one powerful thrust, he pushed all the way into you. You didn’t have to voice to cry out but instead released a sicking mewl.

“Fuck” was the only thing that came out of his mouth before he pulled out and repeated the action. Slowly he built up a steady pace. It was not as fast or rough as you expected, but more of a steady deep movement, but it left you breathless nonetheless. Every single movement stretched your walls, and you would feel every inch of him moving in and out. It was blissful. You could have stayed like that forever. But the need for release was growing in you with every thrust. It seemed like Taeyong agreed, picking up the pace and angling himself to hit the special spot inside you with every thrust.

Now you were keening with every thrust, releasing a whimper every time. in your current position, you couldn’t move to meet his thrust but you could wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, which he didn’t seem to mind. The weight of his body was heavy on yours, and you could feel the muscles in his shoulders tighten beneath your fingers.

“aw, baby, you feel so fucking good. You like the way I fuck you?” he asked in your ear. You only moaned in response, trying your hardest to stay composed. but that didn’t last long when Taeyongs hand came down to rub circles into your swollen and abused clit. It hurt, but in such a pleasurable way. You threw your head back.

“You gonna cum already baby?” he asked, the rasp you recognized so well returning to his voice.

“yes, gonna cum…..” was all that you could force out. Your stomach was clenched so tight you felt like your pussy was trying to keep his cock inside you. You felt so good and full.

“Its ok baby, you can cum” He punctuated his statement with a particularly hard thrust that reached deep inside you.

And not long after you felt yourself unravel for a second time, only this time it lasted much longer. The waves of pleasure didn’t stop coming as he milked the feeling of your walls clenching and pulsing around him. His cock was throbbing too, just as much as your walls.

“Aw, baby you feel- feel so fucking good"

those were his last words before releasing inside you. You could feel the oversensitivity seeping in and you could hear the cum squelching out of you as he rode out his own orgasm before pulling out.

You both lay there panting for a bit, holding onto the moments before one of you would move. This time you did it first, pushing yourself up onto your arms and looking at the heavenly sweat coated man laying on top of you. Taeyong took one last deep breath before pushing himself up as well. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your temple before speaking.

"let’s get cleaned up.”

The drew you a bath and helped relaxed your aching body. When you were clean it was him that dressed you in your discarded shirt on the floor.

That night you fell asleep in his bed, with his naked back pressed firmly against yours, and his arms wrapped tightly around your body.

In the morning you awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. You heard his gentle breathing in your ear, still, sound asleep. The clock on the nightstand read 7:24. You were expected to check into your hotel in an hour. You looked down at yourself as you sat up. The ring on your finger glinted mockingly, sighing you got to your feet. You would rather not be here for the inevitable conversation when he wakes up.

You moved quickly around the room, gathering your things and dressing yourself fully. There was one problem, you couldn’t find your underwear. After searching for a few more minutes and a scare from Taeyongs stirring you gave up on the idea of getting them back and left.

Going back to the life that you turned your back on that night.

#nct smut #taeyong smut #nct scenarios #nct timestamps #taeyong scenarios

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thegrapeandthefig · 4 years ago

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The Werewolves of Arcadia

This is my contribution to @adri-le-chat 's Halloween "Haunting Pagan Lore" event. As you can see from the title, I've chosen a classic of horror and folklore tales for which many have forgotten the ancient origins. This will be long, so let's get into it.

The myth of King Lycaon While the earliest known example of man-to-wolf shifting dates back to the Epic of Gilgamesh (c. 2100 BC), the Greek case is considered the second oldest, and the one scholars consider as the root of werewolf belief in Europe, as the myth got carried over to the Romans. However, one should note that lycanthropy and human-to-animal transformation beliefs also arose independently in other cultures around the world.

In Greece, the first werewolf is King Lycaon of Arcadia. The story is said to go this way, though with several variants: King Lycaon ruled over the region of Arcadia, Pan's homeland. A wild, lush and mountainous region of Greece. Lycaon had several children, mainly Kallisto, Keteus and Nyktimos. After seducing Kallisto, Zeus is invited to a feast by Lycaon. The issue is, Lycaon serves him human flesh:

"After Zeus had seduced Kallisto, Lykaon, pretending not to know of the matter, entertained Zeus, as Hesiod says, and set before him on the table the babe which he had cut up.”

- Hesiod, Astronomica Fragment 3 (from Comm. Supplem. on Aratus)

"Two lesser known Athenian playwrights, Xenokles the Elder and Astydamas the Younger, produced plays entitled Lykaon. Presumably these told the story of the sacrifice of the child."

- Xenocles the Elder & Astydamas the Younger, Lycaon (lost plays) (c. 5th to 4th BC.)

The general idea is that Zeus is deeply offended by the act and turns King Lycaon into a wolf. However, there are many versions to the myth. Pausanias, in the 2nd century AD, explains it this way:

" Lykaon brought a human baby to the altar of Zeus Lykaios, and sacrificed it, pouring out its blood upon the altar, and according to the legend immediately after the sacrifice he was changed from a man to a wolf (lykos) . . . All through the ages, many events that have occurred in the past, and even some that occur to-day, have been generally discredited because of the lies built up on a foundation of fact. It is said, for instance, that ever since the time of Lykaon a man has changed into a wolf at the sacrifice to Zeus Lykaios, but that the change is not for life; if, when he is a wolf, he abstains from human flesh, after nine years he becomes a man again, but if he tastes human flesh he remains a beast for ever."

- Pausanias, Description of Greece 8. 2. 1 - 6

Ovid, when rewritting the myth in the 1st century AD, decided to turn the narrative to Lycaon doubting the divinity of Zeus when the god visited Arcadia. In order to test Zeus’s divinity, Lycaon attempts to feed him cooked human flesh and have him assassinated in the night. When Zeus realizes what Lycaon is doing, Lycaon tries to flee in fear. But as he runs into the fields of Arcadia, Lycaon is transformed into a wolf.

The cult of Zeus Lykaios

The transformation of King Lycaon is a punishment for human sacrifice and cannibalism, sometimes permanent or, as we saw above, for a certain amount of time under the condition of not eating human flesh.

The myth is said to have inspired the cult of Zeus Lykaios in Arcadia (or perhaps the opposite), for which, human sacrifices have been rumored to occur. The sanctuary of Zeus Lykaios was on one of the three crests of Mt. Lykaion, where the festival of the Lykaia was celebrated approximately once every four years. We owe the earliest reference to human sacrifices on this mountain to Plato:

"What then is the beginning of the transformation from protector to tyrant? Is it not clearly when the protector begins to do the same as the man in the story which is told concerning the sanctuary of Zeus Lykaios in Arcadia?’ ‘What story?’ he said. ‘How the man who has tasted of the piece of human entrails—one of these having been cut up along with the entrails of the other victims—it is necessary for this man to be turned into a wolf. Or haven’t you heard the story?’ ‘I have." -Plato, Republic 8, 565D–E

Pausanias, who visited the location in the 2nd century AD, also mentions the story:

“For they say that after Lycaon someone would always be turned from a man into a wolf at the sacrifice of Zeus Lykaios, but that he would not become a wolf for all his life. Rather, if while he was a wolf he refrained from human flesh, they say that afterwards in the tenth year he turned back from a wolf into a man. But if he had tasted human flesh he remained a beast forever.”

-Pausanias, Description of Greece, 8.2.6

Later, he goes on to mention the sacrifices are still performed on the moutain, subtly implying that he thinks those are human sacrifices:

"they sacrifice in secret; I did not wish to inquire further into the details of the sacrifice: let it be as it has been from the beginning”

-Pausanias, Description of Greece, 8.38.7

Both Plato and Pausanias are skeptics on the existence of the transformation from man to wolf. Pausanias, especially, makes it very clear when giving account of the story of Damarchus:

"But concerning the boxer named Damarchus, who was by birth an Arcadian of Parrhasia, except for his victory at Olympia I do not believe the other things said by pretentious men, namely that he was changed from a man to a wolf at the sacrifice of Zeus Lykaios and that ten years later he again became a man. Nor did it seem to me that this was said about him by the Arcadians, for in this case it would also be said in the inscription at Olympia, which runs as follows: Damarchus son of Dinyttas set up this statue, a Parrhasian by birth from Arcadia.”

-Pausanias, Description of Greece, 6.8.2

Archeaological search has not confirmed human sacrifices to be taking place, despite the legends. The numerous bones found were mostly ones from small animals, with the occasional bigger cattle or pig. Thus there are strong doubts on the reality of infant sacrifices. If they did exist, the absence of remains would indicate either that the victims were so young their remains didn't survive time, or that the remains were removed for a separate burial.

Other instances of werewolf tales

It is very clear now that the region of Arcadia is linked for the Ancients to the trope of man to wolf transformation, and probably taking root in both tale and cult. However, this while this is the most documented story, there are other mentions of wolf-shifting in ancient literature.

Herodotus, for instance, tells us this when describing the Neuri:

"It may be that these people are wizards; for the Scythians, and the Greeks settled in Scythia, say that once a year every one of the Neuri becomes a wolf for a few days and changes back again to his former shape. Those who tell this tale do not convince me; but they tell it nonetheless, and swear to its truth." - Herodotus, Histories, IV.105

Much later, in the late first century AD, Petronius includes a werewolf story in his Satyricon, which goes as follows:

"I seized my opportunity, and persuaded a guest in our house to come with me as far as the fifth milestone. He was a soldier, and as brave as Hell. So we trotted off about cockcrow; the moon shone like high noon. We got among the tombstones: my man went aside to look at the epitaphs, I sat down with my heart full of song and began to count the graves. Then when I looked round at my friend, he stripped himself and put all his clothes by the roadside. My heart was in my mouth, but I stood like a dead man. He made a ring of water round his clothes and suddenly turned into a wolf. Please do not think I am joking; I would not lie about this for any fortune in the world. But as I was saying, after he had turned into a wolf, he began to howl, and ran off into the woods. At first I hardly knew where I was, then I went up to take his clothes; but they had all turned into stone. No one could be nearer dead with terror than I was. But I drew my sword and went slaying shadows all the way till I came to my love's house. I went in like a corpse, and nearly gave up the ghost, the sweat ran down my legs, my eyes were dull, I could hardly be revived. My dear Melissa was surprised at my being out so late, and said, 'If you had come earlier you might at least have helped us; a wolf got into the house and worried all our sheep, and let their blood like a butcher. But he did not make fools of us, even though he got off; for our slave made a hole in his neck with a spear.' When I heard this, I could not keep my eyes shut any longer, but at break of day I rushed back to my master Gaius's house like a defrauded publican, and when I came to the place where the clothes were turned into stone, I found nothing but a pool of blood. But when I reached home, my soldier was lying in bed like an ox, with a doctor looking after his neck. I realized that he was a werewolf, and I never could sit down to a meal with him afterwards, not if you had killed me first. Other people may think what they like about this; but may all your guardian angels [genius] punish me if I am lying.”

-Petronius, Satyricon, 62 (tr. Michael Heseltine)

Final words

Despite being present in literature, there seems to be a common disbelief amongst the Ancients when it comes to the veracity of werewolves, but it is also possible that the explicit disbelief shown by the authors cited there is meant to differiate them with the popular folk beliefs of their time. With this, I wish you all a Spooky Halloween.

#hauntingpaganlore #halloween special #werewolves #ancient history #ancient greece

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jaskiersvalley · 5 years ago

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the mosnter under the bed au is my favorite!! i adore it so much!! ive spent my quarantine reading as much as i can from you and i adore it all! but the monster under the bed fic made me crazy!! i love it to death and just had to tell you its my absolute favorite!! thank you so much!! im not much of a writer but look out for some fanart soon!!

Hello quarantine buddy! Though at this stage I’m fairly certain most of the world could be called that...but you reaching out with such lovely words makes you that much dearer to my heart. And you say fanart?!?! My little heart would burst if that happened. Please to tag or DM me if it happens so I can scream about it.

In the meantime, may your quarantine pass by as pleasantly as possible, keep safe, look after yourself and here’s a little something more for you to read!

On the surface, Geralt was human. He was born as one, spent the first who knew how many years of his life as one. It was only at Kaer Morhen that he was made into something different. Some might say he was made into something more but he definitely felt less than human and was treated as such too. He was not a lot more other than pest control for monsters though he was considered the monster at the top of the food chain and nothing more.

At least, that was until Jaskier came along. He sang his way through life, seemingly without a care in the world. If people pelted him with food or harsh words, he retreated from the onslaught but never seemed to take it as a personal insult. He’d grumble about people not appreciating fine art or tune his lute with a mumble of “they were right, it was a bit flat”. Sometimes Geralt was tempted to think that Jaskier sang his way into his life but that was a lie. More like Jaskier kept ambling alongside him, catching up if left behind, crossing paths sometimes days or weeks down the line and acting as if Geralt hadn’t tried to leave him behind. For his own good. Because humans needed human company and Geralt, well, he was definitely lacking what Jaskier needed.

He even yelled at Jaskier about it. Had smelled the heartbreak and hurt, bitter and making Geralt feel every bit the monster people claimed him to be. It gained him a few weeks of silence which Geralt found he didn’t enjoy quite as much as he used to. Somehow, he missed it.

“There you are!” An all too familiar voice had him turning with a snarl as he dispatched a cockatrice, eyes black with Cat, veins dark and spreading like webs under his pale skin, every bit the monster people believed him to be. There was still a smell of hurt to Jaskier but he didn’t even seem to blink twice at the sight. “Is it dead?”

The question had Geralt looking back at the cockatrice with a grunt. He stabbed it once more just to be sure, bastards did like to play dead at times. Hurt mixed with bright curiosity in the air and Jaskier picked his way closer. However, his eyes were fixed on Geralt rather than the creature.

“Don’t you have something to say to me?” he asked, peering into black eyes.

“No.”

“Okay, that’s fine. I guess I’ll just take a bit longer to forgive you. I never could hold a grudge against a friend.”

“Not your friend. You don’t forgive a monster.” Geralt set about hacking the cockatrice’s head off. He expected that to be that and for Jaskier to go away. If he would leave and be angry with Geralt, he could live a decent life and maybe harbour ill will towards witchers (or rather, Geralt specifically) but at least Jaskier would stop associating with a monster.

He didn’t expect to feel the presence behind him drift closer, voice soft. “I see. It seemed that you’ve been punishing yourself more than I ever could.” Jaskier’s hand reached for Geralt’s shoulder and gently tugged.

If Geralt had really wanted to resist, he could have become an immovable boulder that Jaskier couldn’t even budge. But he had always been a little helpless in the face of his bard’s whims and fancies.

“A monster you say,” Jaskier said, taking a good, hard look at Geralt. The hand from his shoulder moved to his face. At first, Geralt had assumed that questing fingers would poke at the unsightly veins or gesture to his pitch black eyes. Instead, they lifted his lips to bare his teeth.

“Well, I don’t see the giant, dripping fangs of a beast.” Jaskier hummed and even had the audacity to run his fingers over Geralt’s teeth. They moved to his hair, covered in ichor from the cockatrice. “No bushy mane made all the more wild by aggression and raised hackles.”

His hair was tucked out of the way from his face and a warm palm rested on his cheek, keeping him captive and focused on Jaskier. It meant it was impossible to miss the soft grin sent his way as his gaze was met steadily.

“Definitely not the empty, mindless stare of a beast and not a single ounce of blind rage in such beautiful eyes.” Leaning a little closer, Jaskier’s eyes dipped to Geralt’s lips. “All I see is a good, honest man, making mistakes and not knowing how to correct them.”

Their lips brushed, like they had so often before but this was different. This was after an argument more severe than before. But it was all in the past as Jaskier kissed him, giving Geralt a spark of warmth that had been lacking for the weeks without him.

“I’m not angry with you but disappointed. We have some way to go and you need to learn to use your words for more than hurling insults in the hopes they drive your problems away. But it’s fortunate I am a patient man.” After a beat, Jaskier’s eyes sparkled. “And maybe I need to learn when to keep quiet, I did push you more than usual. And for that, I apologies.”

#geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher #tldr: geralt thinks he is a monster

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dothwrites · 5 years ago

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part v of mafia!au

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

---

Dean’s never been so happy to see Sam in his entire life.

His gangly little brother sits behind the wheel of the Impala, face drawn tight with worry. He relaxes in stages as he sees Dean, sees the blood on his clothes, then sees that little of it belongs to him.

“Where’s Gabriel?” Sam demands as he rushes to open the backseat for Dean. His eyes widen as he takes in the ruin of Castiel, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t know,” Dean says, grunting as he hefts Cas’ unconscious body into the backseat. “Get his legs.”

Between the two of them, they get Cas into the backseat, though not as gently as Dean could hope for. If a few extra bruises are the price which Cas has to pay for his freedom, then Dean’s willing to fork that payment over.

He collapses against the Impala’s sturdy frame, chest heaving. Carrying Cas wasn’t easy; despite all his jabs about Cas being a nerdy little dude, Cas is solid, and carrying his deadweight through the halls of the Novak mansion counts as a workout. Sweat dapples the back of his neck, cooling unpleasantly as Dean waits.

Once again, he’s in the garage of the Novak mansion. He tries to keep his eyes away from the spot where he last saw Cas, though he can’t stop his morbid fascination with the place. He wonders if there’s a bloodstain there.

“Where the fuck is Gabriel?” Dean growls, when his body temperature changes from overheated to clammy. “We can’t risk sticking around here too much longer.”

As if in response to his prayers, Gabriel comes tearing down the staircase. He races towards them at a dead sprint, tossing a few flashbangs behind him. “Get in the car, get in the car!” he shouts, heaving himself in the passenger seat. Dean doesn’t wait for another invitation, but gets into the backseat, arranging Cas’ head on his lap. Sam spares him one shocked look before he gets behind the wheel.

Sam slams on the gas too hard, causing the Impala’s wheels to squeal and smoke against the concrete of the floor, but when he eases off a little, she jumps forward, as eager for freedom as the rest of them. Dean doesn’t breathe until they crash through the gates and the outline of the mansion disappears in the rearview.

After weeks, they’re all finally free.

---

Only when the mansion vanishes completely does Dean dare to look at Castiel.

Once he does, he regrets it.

He got a few glimpses when he first saw Cas, but he hadn’t been too interested at cataloging injuries. At that moment, escape was the only thought in his mind and Cas’ injuries were only obstacles to be overcome.

They have time now, or at least a lack of pursuit. In their world, it amounts to same thing. Dean flicks aside the tattered remains of Cas’ shirt and looks down at the bleeding ruin of his chest. His gorge rises as he looks at the wounds littered over Cas’ torso. Some of them are still bleeding.

Bruises spread over his skin in varying shades of purple, yellow, and green. There are several puncture wounds that Dean recognizes as belonging to a taser. Rage clouds up high and sour in his throat as he considers the varying stages of healing of the wounds. They’ve been hurting Cas from the first day they had him.

Rage and nausea rise in Dean until he thinks he might choke on them. The bastards turned Cas into a canvas.

“Son of a bitch.” He looks up to see Gabriel leaning over the front seat. Thin white lines of fury etch along his mouth and eyes.

In the past few weeks, he and Gabriel have come to understand each other as partners and allies, pushing aside their prejudices in favor of a common goal. Dean trusts him as much as he trusts anyone other than Sam, but for the first time since he began working with Gabriel, a little tendril of fear pokes at him.

“He’s alive,” Dean says, the barest form of comfort he can offer while being truthful. “He’ll be ok. He’s strong.”

A muscle twitches in the corner of Gabriel’s jaw as he stretches out his hand to brush through Cas’ hair. A soft noise caught between contentment and distress escapes through Cas’ lips and Gabriel withdraws his touch.

“Just get us home,” Dean tells Sam.

---

In hindsight, he should have expected the nightmares.

They made it back to their safehouse without anyone following, which makes Dean stupidly think that they’re out of the woods. Sure, they probably have both the Novak and Winchester families gunning for them, but he, Sam, Gabriel, and Cas are all under one roof. Together they’ve got enough brains, skills, and ruthlessness to take down any threat.

Dean thinks that right up until the first scream splits the peace of the night.

He bolts upright, gun already in hand, eyes darting wildly around in search of the potential threat. When he finds none in the immediate vicinity, he runs out of the room, already calling for Sam.

Sam’s head pokes out of his room, hair sleep tousled and eyes heavy with interrupted slumber, but he looks confused instead of terrified. The fear on his face is directed outward instead of for himself. “Dean? What’s going on?”

Another scream rips through the night. This time Dean recognizes the voice underneath the terror.

“Cas,” he murmurs, thundering down the hallway.

The door opens under his touch into a horror show. Cas writhes in the middle of the bed, sheets tangled around his body. His back bends into a rigid, impossible arch as his fingers claw at the mattress. Tendons in his neck bulge as he forces a scream out through clenched teeth. His feet kick uselessly, forcing Gabriel to try and dodge his inadvertent blows. Blood trickles down Cas’ bare chest as his wounds reopen.

“Cas, you’re ok, you’re all right, come on Cas.” Gabriel’s voice is frantic as he tries to pin Cas’ flailing body. “Easy Cas, easy!”

Cas screams again. The raw sound tears through the quiet night like a knife blade. The safehouse is removed from civilization, but not so far away as to be isolated, and Cas’ shrieks are loud enough to break glass.

“Sam, go get my bag,” Dean says. His heart is pounding so hard it’s amazing he hasn’t fainted. His gun is heavy in his hand, pulling his whole arm down to the ground. “There’s a sedative in there; it should be enough to knock him out.”

“No!”

Gabriel’s voice cracks like a whip, stopping Sam in his tracks. “What the hell?” A ragged, tortured sound rips out of Cas’ throat. It seems impossible that a single person could hold that much tension in their body without snapping in half.

Wild eyes and bared teeth are all Dean sees of Gabriel. “You are not putting anymore drugs into him!”

Dean’s eyes fall to Cas’ arm, to the series of haphazard bruises blossoming along the vulnerable flesh of his inner arm. An awful, terrible picture paints itself in Dean’s mind, one which explains Cas’ state of mind, his hazy eyes and wandering train of thought. It’s not real, none of this is real...in my head, there are things, there are people, and they lie--

Dean thinks he might be sick.

Without consciously realizing it, Dean finds himself moving forward. At first, he means to do nothing more than to help Gabriel restrain Cas from hurting himself, but then he finds himself murmuring soft reassurances, things that his father would have slapped out of his mouth if he could.

“Hey Cas, you’re all right, you’re all right, you’re ok, I’ve got you, me and Gabe are here, you’re ok now--”

He runs his hand over Cas’ forehead, wiping sweat away from his skin. “You’re safe, you’re all right. No one’s going to hurt you, I’ve got you.”

He’s aware of the weight of Sam and Gabriel’s eyes, but he keeps his eyes focused on Cas. One last, thin wail rips from his throat and then, like a puppet cut from his strings, Cas collapses bonelessly onto the mattress. He shudders once and is still.

Dean holds his breath for ten seconds. Then, when Cas sleeps peacefully on, he lets it out in one long whoosh. His knees buckle, threatening to send him crashing onto the mattress right beside Cas.

“Go back to bed, Sam.” A few hesitant protests come from Sam, but they’re swiftly silenced with a sharp bark of his name.

“Call me if anything changes,” Sam shoots off as a parting salvo, but Dean doesn’t think it’ll be necessary. If Cas has another screaming fit, Sam will know.

Sam’s door closes and Dean takes a few steps backward. His shaky legs give out just as his back hits the wall, and he slides down until his ass hits the ground. “Jesus,” he breathes. He buries his face in his hands, unwilling to allow Gabriel this view of his weakness. “God, oh god.”

For thirty seconds, he allows his horror, and anger free reign. Then, with effort, he pulls himself back together, stitching together reason and rationality until he’s able to think. He looks up at the bed, where Gabriel’s head is bowed low over the mattress.

“Drugs?” Dean finally asks, his voice a hoarse rasp.

Gabriel’s head rises like it’s moving on rusty hinges. His golden eyes are bleak.

“I recognize the handiwork. It’s from Naomi, one of Dad’s pets. She likes to experiment. Pump them full of hallucinogens, tear them apart, and see what falls out. By the end, they’re reprogrammed into something else they wouldn’t even recognize. Stands to reason they’d set her loose on Cas.”

Bile rises in Dean’s throat. Cas is brilliant, his mind sharper than a steel trap. Behind blue eyes, thousands of gears are constantly turning. To think of someone rummaging around in that machine, upsetting the delicate balances and systems...It’s perverse, an upsetting of the natural order. Dean doesn’t believe in God, never has, but the idea of Cas losing his reason due to outside influences is as close to blasphemy as anything else.

“Why don’t you get some sleep? I can stay with him.”

Gabriel’s scoff isn’t as strong as it could be. Instead, he just looks weary and defeated. “You know, when I first thought of a Winchester taking my place, I thought I was going to kill you myself. And now...” He shakes his head, dismissing whatever he was going to say next. “I’m going to get a few hours worth of sleep. I’ll come get you then.”

For a moment, Dean thinks Gabriel might go so far as to pat him on the shoulder. His hand hovers awkwardly in mid-air before it drops to his side. Gabriel shuffles towards the door, each step taking an eternity to accomplish. He waves at Dean, a limp gesture, before he heads down the hallway to his bedroom. It shuts behind him, leaving Dean alone with Cas.

It takes almost all of Dean’s energy to make his way to the opposite side of the room. He collapses into the armchair, still warm from Gabriel’s ass.

Blood dries tacky on Cas’ chest. None of the wounds he ripped open were deep enough to really hurt him, but seeing the reminders of his treatment torn stark red on Cas’ chest is still like getting a punch to the gut.

It seems wrong, somehow, for him to see Cas brought low. He knows Cas wouldn’t want to be seen like this. When he wakes up, Cas will probably either punch him or shoot him, and that’ll be fine. It’ll be worth it to see Cas’ eyes open and shine with lucidity.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. His voice sounds harsh in the quiet of the room. The very air molecules bristle with disapproval. It’s nothing compared to the contempt which Dean feels for himself.

“If it hadn’t been for me, you never would have been caught up in this. For whatever reason, you looked at me and you saw someone worth saving. I don’t know why you thought that. I don’t know what I did to make you think that I was ever worth this.”

Dean’s fingers crawl across the mattress to take Cas’ hand in his. Cas’ fingers are cold and limp. Blood is caked into his cuticles. In his sleep, Cas murmurs. Whether it’s a sound of distress or happiness, Dean doesn’t know. He’s afraid to know.

The first time he saw Cas was at the exchange. The Novaks were lined up on one side of the hotel and the Winchesters on the other. Dean had barely been able to swallow his rage at being sold off like a pawn, all so his father could swagger around the city like he owned something. He’d focused that rage on the family who, up until a few weeks ago, it was his purpose to thwart in any way possible, death not excluded. Now he was expected to join them, with nary a word spoken otherwise.

He recognized Michael Novak and he’d gotten intimately familiar with Gabriel Novak’s file. Neither of those Novaks were as interesting as the Novak who stood at the back of the room.

Even without knowing his name or anything else about him, Castiel was the Novak who caught his attention. He moved through the rest of them like a panther moving through wolves, all coiled grace and tightly bound intent. Where the other Novaks were stiff, he was fluid, where they were cold, he burned hot. Dean looked at him and saw the proverbial diamond in the rough, one jewel amidst a sea of imposters.

And now here he is, shattered into a thousand pieces, a sacrifice laid in front of the altar of Dean Winchester.

“I’m sorry.” Dean’s voice croaks on the last syllable. “Cas, I’m so sorry.” His instincts tell him to crush Cas’ hand in his, to bring him back with nothing more than sheer force of will, but he already knows that’s not an option. He needs to learn how to hold things without destroying them, how to love something without smothering it.

“I wasn’t worth it. Whatever you thought you saw, it wasn’t worth this.” Heat prickles behind Dean’s eyes and works its way up his throat. “I’m so sorry Cas.”

Misery forces his head low and Dean presses his forehead against Cas’ knuckles. Cas’ hand is so cold. The rise and fall of his chest is subtle, worryingly so. Dean doesn’t know how it feels to fall asleep without the taste of fear thick and sour on his tongue.

He falls asleep with his lips still shaping the word sorry.

---

Dean drags himself up from the pit of sleep, roused by a stimulus so weak it might as well be nonexistent. It’s still enough to pull him out of a troubled slumber, heart pounding.

It takes his pupils a few seconds to adjust to the lack of light. When they do, they immediately find Cas. He lies, flat on his back, but his hand reaches out towards Dean. The weight of his hand is almost like a whisper as his fingers ruffle through his hair.

“Cas,” Dean croaks, his pulse suddenly racing like a runaway carriage. “Cas, are you awake?” Are you ok, are you whole, please, tell me you’re all right, tell me that I didn’t destroy you like I destroy everything else in my godforsaken life-

A faint smile creeps over Cas’ face, like the sun struggling to break through the darkness of night. It’s a faint sliver of a thing, but it’s there, inescapable and wondrous.

“Hello Dean.”

#destiel #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #deancas #deancas fic #dean winchester #castiel #mafia!au #part v of vi #remember when i thought this was going to be three parts #anyway sorry that it's so late #but here you go #the thrilling conclusion next #dothwrites

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realm-sweet-realm · 4 years ago

Text

Sanctuary

Request from Threadedsafetypin: a story about Jack helping Sammy to recover from ink infection.

---

Most members of the Joey Drew Studios music room knew that Sammy behaving strangely was status quo. So, when was Sammy first infected with ink, few people were alarmed. Complaining about seeing Bendy in his sleep? Stress. Increased irritability? Stress. Spacing out more often, seeming more exhausted, looking more drawn and bedraggled than usual? Poor guy really has to get a grip on his life- but at least he’s still functioning well enough to get the songs out on time.

Jack Fain, Sammy’s best friend, was the only one who realized that this wasn’t just one of Sammy’s episodes. He’d confronted Sammy about it a couple weeks ago, and it hadn’t gone well. He had snapped about his health being his own business and told Jack to go away.

Jack was used to Sammy being irritable, so he didn’t take it personally. “Okay. I can’t help you if you’re not ready. Just know that I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk. I care about you, and want you to be okay. Alright?”

Sammy had grumbled an “alright,” and left. His symptoms had only worsened since then, and Jack was rather worried that Sammy would never be “ready”- at least, not until he was very ill. But he couldn’t think of any way to help the process along unless Sammy was on board as well.

Then, one day while Jack was working in the sewers, he heard footsteps. Only Sammy knew that he hid away in the sewers, so it had to be him. Jack got up to meet him, and saw that Sammy had a defeated look on his face.

“Remember when you said to come to you when I was ready? Well, I’m ready,” Sammy said, as though admitting a dark secret. He took off the white gloves he’d taken to wearing lately, revealing ink-black hands. “The ink did this to me, and tried to convince me that it was a good thing, but I can’t deny that this is a problem anymore. I don’t think that a hospital could help me, and I’m scared that Joey would kill me if it got out the public. I don’t know what to do.”

Jack stood stunned a moment, looking at Sammy’s hands. They clearly weren’t just stained, but tainted down to the bone. It looked like there were some pockets of ink just beneath the surface as well.

“It’s okay. I’ll find out what to do,” Jack promised.

---

“Norman, can you come with me for a minute?” Jack asked. “I need to ask Mr. Drew something he won’t enjoy answering, and I’m hoping that if you’re there next to me, he won’t kill me on the spot for it. Alright? All you’ll have to do is stand there. And you’ll probably get some nice secrets out of it.”

Excited at the thought of listening in on such a conversation, Norman agreed, and the two of them made their way to Joey’s office. The door shut loudly.

“Joey,” Jack began, in a tone one might use to calm down a wild animal, “someone I care deeply about is infected with ink. Now look- I don’t want trouble. I don’t have any personal reason to want your secrets to get out. Please tell me how to help him get better, and I’ll do it completely inconspicuously if it’s possible.”

---

“What did he say?” Sammy asked. The look on Jack’s face wasn’t especially encouraging.

“Well, he said that a hospital can help you- if we take you a couple miles from New York, first. He said that the ink is alive in you, and it needs to be taken away from the ink machine in order to kill it. If we don’t do that, the ink will live in you no matter what anyone tries to do to get rid of it, and you’ll be in and out of treatment for the rest of your life- which would likely be a very short, unhealthy one. So, that isn’t an option.”

Sammy didn’t understand why Jack looked so hopeless at the thought of killing the ink. “Okay,” Sammy said cautiously, “That sounds doable. What else?”

“Well, the thing is that once the ink is dead, it won’t be able to help keep you alive, so all that tissue damage, organ damage, and dehydration is actually going to hurt you. Joey gave me some tips on how to increase the chance that you’ll end up at the hospital alive, but it’s still possible you won’t make it.”

Sammy was in shock. “I-I might die before I make it the hospital?”

“Yes. Joey said that you should go home and eat something with a lot of liquid in it. I take it you physically haven’t been able to drink anything but ink in a while, have you?”

“It’s been a few weeks,” Sammy admitted.

“He also said that we should lance any obvious deposits of ink before we head out. I can help you with the lancing. And... one last thing, Sammy?”

“Yes?”

“I quit this place, because it’s dripping with a deadly biohazard. I definitely suggest you do the same- especially if you’re in the habit of drinking ink, which Joey said you might be.”

Sammy sucked in a deep breath. “Please tell me that’s everything.”

“That’s everything.”

“Alright. Thank you, Jack. Honestly, thank you.”

The two went to Jack’s place, and with a knife, they set to work lancing any obvious deposits of ink. Sammy had them all over- on his legs, on his chest, his back, and some fairly severe ones on his hands. One by one, they were cut open, squeezed out, and bandaged. By the end, Sammy was in a lot of pain, and Jack’s bathtub was stained not only with substantial amounts of ink, but with a fair amount of blood.

“I don’t feel stronger,” Sammy admitted, looking down with his arms crossed over himself. “What if Joey gave us this advice to trick you into killing me? Or he didn’t understand how far along I was?”

Jack sighed. He’d made a good point, honestly. But Sammy needed comfort. “He didn’t lie. I’m sure of it. Just trust me, alright?”

“Alright,” Sammy replied.

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Jack asked, “It might help you dread tomorrow a little less.”

“Are you sure you want me here? I’ll get ink and blood all over the place.”

“You will? Then we haven’t bandaged you up enough- you shouldn’t be leaking like that. And anyhow, don’t worry about it- it’s just one night, I don’t want you to go through this alone.”

Sammy agreed to stay over, though all he wanted to do was wash off and rest. The next day, the two of them headed out of New York in Jack’s car.

“Alright, Sammy, you know the drill. Tell me when you feel the ink dying, and I’ll turn the car around as quickly as possible.”

Sammy nodded. It was only a few miles before he did.

“Now,” Sammy croaked. He was already looking greener. Jack found a place to turn around and took it.

“Everything hurts...” Sammy complained. It was true. He felt weak and heavy, as though a large percentage of his body had suddenly become dead weight. His lungs stung, and when his breathing was wet and slightly laboured. Pain was building in his head, in the cuts he’d given himself the day before, and especially in his organs.

“It’ll be okay, Sammy. I promise. Just hang in there, and drink some water.”

Though it was hardly his most overpowering sensation, Sammy was very thirsty. Jack watched with concern as Sammy took one of water bottles in weak, shaky hands, took a sip from it, and then fell forwards, entirely limp.

Jack slammed his foot on the gas pedal. He was going about 85 miles an hour, and he mentally calculated that he’d need about eight minutes to get Sammy to the outskirts of town and hopefully not too much longer to get him to a hospital. Risky as it was, Jack grabbed Sammy’s hand to check for a pulse. It was certainly there. A cop by the side of the road saw them, but let them go by- perhaps seeing that Jack was hardly doing this for pleasure. Thankfully, traffic was thin that day. Jack checked Sammy’s pulse again while at a stop sign- still strong, and pulled up in front of a hospital. He ran in, pushed his way past a line of people, and spoke to the secretary. “My friend is in my car. He’s unconscious and I have reason to believe that he needs immediate attention if he’s going to live. Please help him.”

Within a minute, Sammy was being rushed in for medical attention, leaving Jack to wait in the lobby and fill out the necessary forms. Hours later, a nurse approached him. “You’re Jack Fain, the one who brought in Sammy Lawrence?”

“Yes,” Jack answered.

“Well, Mr. Fain, we have some serious questions for you. What happened to Sammy? His condition isn’t exactly easy to identify.”

“His workplace is filled with a biohazard. He got infected and kept it secret for weeks. How is he? Is his condition stable?”

The nurse grimaced. “Stable, yes. He’s on life support, but we’ll be able to keep him alive. We’re not sure when or if he’ll wake up again since we haven’t been able to diagnose. Would you like to see him?”

“Sure,” Jack replied.

Seeing Sammy laying still as a corpse on a hospital bed, with three different IVs in his arm, a tube in his throat, and the beep of a heart monitor nearby, was not an encouraging sight. It moved Jack to tears. “Call me when he’s up. Or when it’s time to say goodbye,” Jack croaked to the nurse. With that, he left.

Jack spent the next few days fraught with anxiety. To make matters worse, the hospital had called Jack to ask where Sammy had worked and gotten infected. Jack had said he didn’t know, because he didn’t want to risk either of them being killed by Joey for leaking his secrets. If Sammy died, he’s have to wonder if it was partially on his own hands. Jack’s husband tried to reassure him that he’d done all that could be done, and Jack knew it was true, but it was still a scary time.

In what felt like weeks but was actually just a couple days, the hospital called Jack and told him that Sammy’s tissue damage seemed to be repairing itself and that he was responding well to treatment. Thankfully, none of his organs had been damaged enough to require a transplant. A week later, he was called to tell him that Sammy was awake again.

Seeing Sammy again was a massive weight off Jack’s shoulders. The dark spots on his body had shrunk significantly, and he looked much healthier, especially now that most of those tubes and wires were gone.

“Sammy. You’re alive.”

“Yep. I must be part cockroach because it takes quite a bit to kill me.”

Jack smiled. “Ha, yeah. The radio is calling you a walking miracle. Even though probably haven’t walked yet, since you just woke up.”

Sammy prickled. “No, I can walk. I’m not that weak!”

“Right, sorry. So, when you woke up, did they pepper you with questions on how you got into this state in the first place?”

Sammy took a quick look around the room to make sure no one was listening in. “Well, they asked me where I worked. I told them it was an ink manufacturing plant that I didn’t remember the name of. I think they bought it. Why, are people pestering you about it?”

“No. But I’ve been hearing about the investigation on the radio. They all want to know about the man who who somehow got several pounds of ink into his system and lived. As far as I can tell, no one suspects a thing about our old workplace, or magic. I think we’re free of it, buddy. I don’t think Joey is ever going to be in our lives again.”

Now Sammy looked like a weight had been lifted from him. “I had no idea how badly I needed to hear that until now.”

Over the coming weeks, Jack regularly visited Sammy in the hospital. He looked stronger every time Jack saw him. The news story died down without much fanfare. Sammy got out with a clean bill of health, and Joey Drew Studios gradually became a distant memory to them.

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #sammy lawrence #Jack Fain #my fanfiction

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macgyvertape · 4 years ago

Text

50 or so hours into Cyberpunk 2077

This should be roughly the correct amount of time, ive been leaving the game running as I get up to get food or do stretches. Quests are roughly in order I did them

non spoilers above cut:

i haven't found a single hat/helmet i like, and since you can't hide them I just am not wearing any. It matters that much.

I posted the other day about bugs, every few hours I play I find new bugs. some require me to go back and reload a save others I honestly can’t tell if it’s a bug or just really poor development

there are several perks that don’t quite do what the description says, like the Anamesis perk. Based on reddit and trying it out it seems to just not do anything.

sometimes in car chase segments the passenger will say “look out” as cars spawn in my path and hit me. Can’t tell if that was deliberate or a pop in issue

Yeah I’ve just totally given up on doing pacifist things unless required by a mission. Given up on doing stealth too unless a mission objective, except for sneaking around to set up a fight.

:readmore:

the delemain car quest is fun. From the shock of the one going "beep beep motherfucker" and doing a hit and run to start it off, to the GLADOS car i see a lot of people talking about. It was fun to explore the city when i might have missed places like the landfill apparently there is follow up on T-bug's death if you go back to the quick hack shop in Kabuki. It's not much but better than nothing I made the pass with Panam of "what if the room just had one bed". I know she won't do a wlw romance, which is fine since I wouldn’t have chosen her. I enjoy her as a character, don’t get me wrong, my V considers her as a friend, but it seems like theres always drama going on which would be tiring. I would have gone for a fling, i like her leotard-pants combo with all the straps

but also her questline was buggy as hell. Multiple cases of having to reload due to clipping into objects, including her in a driving section, or just insta-dying when collision physics with some rocks broke "your neural network can no longer function independantly of the chip" me slapping my desk: s y m b i o te!!! come on lets have some s y m b i o s i s

in the scene with hellman i really liked how Johnny moved around the room. It made him feel like he was really there. it was hard to follow the convo as I left the room, i would not have understood it without subtitles. But i guess Takemura fucking waterboarded hellman. :|

lol I hope the dialogue is different b/c i refuse to smoke for Johnny

i am level 18 and still can't beat the first opponents in the fist fighting quest. ffs

I looked up the romances options so I went to do the I fought the law quest as soon as i got it. ACAB, but like I literally just met River Ward 2 minutes ago, and I really like him. His earring and cyborg eye, his big fluffy coat. I'm definitely gonna sleep with him Ok i like how when River Ward is dealing with the tiger claws if you interject it leads to a fight. It goes better if you follow his instructions and let him deal with it. Seriously I enjoy that sometimes its good to not pick a dialogue choice.

during the red queen club part, there was no dialogue over the phone. So i reloaded a save and got myself spotted and attacked. Then River showed up to help me <3 and it was more enjoyable having him there. I honestly am not sure if him not going to the club level is bug or not.

then uuuuuugh the worst of irl police "cops are my family" from Detective Han. Again ACAB "FRATERNITY OF CITY COPS RESEMBLES A [Nomad] CLAN NOT AT ALL" ok a few minutes ago i was complaining about bugs, but the character modeling in this game is good (when they're there). You can see body posture, characters jiggle their legs when they are nervous. Like I though character A was just throwing a cigarette on the ground, but then character B flinches back; I realize Char A threw it at B as a fuck you

I'm honestly curious if "I fought the Law" quest will have any impact later on. My choices were that I thought there was more going on than Holt being the only person behind this (based on how complicated the main questline heist is, and keeping an eye on some of the in game news), and told him not to take it to internal affairs, and I loved his response of how he doesn't give a shit what we think, he's doing it anyway.

In the elevator to report in, Johnny said "this muck is deeper than you think, tell them nothing", so i just said that the case was complicated. anyway i love how much of a sarcastic asshole V is

I thought i was being nonlethal with the monk quest, but it seems i accidently killed someone. RIP, but thats kind of the problem with this game. Like when i do the non lethal cyberpychosis quests I equip my non lethal modded gun and hope for the est. I like how a go here kill things quest led to Charles the ripperdoc. He's getting all his parts from scav gang members so I felt obligated to take him out. I got a police bounty for it but w/e.

I merged the Delemain fragments with the whole. Guess he's the meta now. (Side note: some of my favorite rvb fanfic plots are Ai consiousness/memory merging with the humans, so I’m having fun with this game and look foward to introspective fanfic)

Honestly Jonny made some good points, the fragments didn't deserve to die; but also destroying the core and freeing the fragments, they couldn't really function alone.

I was able to rescue Saul fine with stealth. Using cameras and the synapse overload really made it easy. Can't use the sniper rifle reward b/c I don't have the stats for it, and while it has a silencer the fact that it's a ricochette weapon and not a shoot through walls weapons, makes it not as good imo; and theres a legendary one that is stats free for only 100k.

Lol made a pass again at Panam, and she immediately shut me down. I then did Mitch's quest and I love every time someone tells V they area good person.

I hacked the operation carpe noctem shard, and wow the corporations are using ai to make people have cyberpsychosis, or something like that. What a shocker /s, I've played Deus Ex HR before

lol driving through the unifinished interstate, past the fight from Panam's first quest I found a "batcave" with a very nice car, and a manifesto written by "muckman'. But here's my complaint about the loot, there is a legendary top, but it had 16 armor. My current top has 84 armor, like why would i switch?? then later i found a bunker with soviet spies in it. Wild

Doing River's second quest, love the timing of as soon as you ask, why are we breaking in, someone shows up to tell you he got kicked off the force. It's funny how Johnny comments how maybe River's into you, and V just doubts Johnny's words. Love how the first kid asks River if I'm his girlfriend. also wow like oof both the second parts of Judy and River's quest are SUPER fucked UP!! oof like i stopped doing first person mode on the braindances for those quests as soon as i could, just made me too uncomfortable seeing that in first person.

DRIVING IN THE GAME IS BAD! nowhere is it more apparent than the sinnerman quest, which took me 3 times to get the driving section done, as cars spawned out of nowhere to hit me. Then when you restart, there is a bunch of dialogue it doesn't let you fast forward through. The rest of the Sinnerman questline is interesting. My V took every option to tell the dude that he was messed up, and what he was doing was wrong. idk, I was surprised how much dialogue there was that let you buy into his whole "forgiveness thing" and how there wasn't any real dialogue to call him the fuck out, that in seeking forgiveness he continues to do harm both emotional to the mother of the man he killed, but also that he got the husband killed via cop. The later follow up quest, I told him that what he is doing is crazy, studio is just going to profit off this vid. Then I refused to join him prayer, and told him fuck no i wasn't going to hammer him to the cross, or even watch. Yes, the man is scared of dying, and the corporation is exploiting him, but he keeps creating burdens for others. I think the discussion on this quest will be interesting to read, it's definitely my own personal experience with religion coloring my view. Anyway back to a main quest, yeah i don't trust Placide, especially in that scene where he grabs my hand, then jacks in. I ran off to do most of the sidequests here and got some criticism from him. I do love how in the cinema the western movie switches to a mission brief as the netwatch agent talks. its a fun enviromental detail. I took the netwatch offer, i don't think he's being fully honest with me, but he didn't put a virus in my head. As I told Placide later, I didn't pick a side. I like how you can then talk with the agent, who is a fan of Western movies, b/c they show "a simpler time where all good guys carry badges" :eyeroll:, and then V recommends Unforgiven, which from the wiki summary goes against that theme.

Looks like the Voodoo boys all got killed by Netwatch, but I as revenge for them trying to set me up I'm fine with it. Honestly after speaking with ai!Alt I don’t believe their plan of trying to be on good relations with AI would work.

doing the johnny flashback 2, and wow Johnny really is an asshole. Like I had gotten so used to him in side missions I forgot how self centered and unlikable he was.You constantly get prompts to drink or do drugs, which I ignored. But i do love the goth/punk love Rogue and others have.

lol i called it, when Hellman said that the engram would seek to override the host, put V on the engram. I really like how as the relic malfunctions, you wind up in the chair with a cigarette, which you can either smoke and say you are turning into Johnny or throw away. My dialogue "your problem is the ends justify the means", which is true!!! He and Rogue detonated a nuke downtown, does anyone know that, and like ask Rogue about it????

(Funny you can ask Rouge about Johnny silverhand, over the phone, then the game bugs out and spawns her npc where you are. She doens't say much about the nuke, but she does say no one trusts you for jobs). The line of no one trusting you for jobs is pretty funny at level 46 street cred where im at “respected” status. really loving the family atmosphere at River's 3rd quest. Also his big strong arms, and the fact he is no longer a cop. I totally let the kids win, and wow the family dinner where they GRILL YOU over the relationship and try to set the two of you up, then the water tower scene!!!!! I don't love the first person sex cutscenes but they do have personality. I'm glad afterwards you got to tell River about the biochip and that you might die. Because he's so far removed from your personal plot. So I took that option to back out of a relationship.

I do love that you wake up with "river's tanktop" that says "fuck the police" It actually has extremely good armor stats, so thats what I'll wear now.

panam 3rd quest, when shes like why did you help me, I'm like "because it's important to you". Basically the closest you can get to "when a friend asks for help you help them", which as an ex-nomad backstory I really choose the nomad options when ever i can Paralezes quest part 2! I love the piano song but I always think of it as ocean's 11 music. It's also fun to see the computer and see Judy recommended you for the first quest. The emails talk about "forgetting" to hire a staffer, on the balocony a strange antennia was scannable, the color of the roses was remembered wrong... lol guess i was right with those giant wall screens. Its fun environmental details that spell things out before you can notice, and it ties into some other quests where people's behavior is being altered. Actually, this quest "Dream On" I love it! For a while I've been like "wheres the illuminati conspiracy! Here it IS! I chose to follow Elisabeth's wishes and not tell her husband he was being brainwashed. In best case they program him to forget again, in worst case he ends up dead. The gaslighting Elisabeth described is CHILLING, her husband describes a vacation she can't remember and she doesn't know whose memories have been messed with. On your way to the plaza you get a call from someone/something that says the know exactly WHAT you are, any you black out!!! It's such a great feeling of helplessness that you're just one person in a world so big that you can't fight every power. As Johnny said, could be a corporation, could be a rogue ai, either way Jefferson is fucked (and so are you).

#cyberpunk 2077 #mac plays video games #a lot of this journaling i do #so in a few years i can look back #and see my first impressions

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Best Games to Play in 2021

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While 2020 was a landmark year for the gaming industry thanks to the release next-gen consoles and PC graphics cards, there are plenty of exciting new games coming in 2021. From highly-anticipated sequels like God of War: Ragnarok and Resident Evil Village to brand-new experiences such as Chorus and Deathloop, there’s plenty to look forward to this year.

We’ve curated a list of the 2021 games we’re most excited about, including big AAA blockbusters as well as imaginative indie titles. Keep in mind that we’ve only included games that at the very least have a vague “2021” release window attached, which is why we’re not including games like The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild sequel, Elden Ring, or Final Fantasy XVI. We’ll of course update this article as new 2021 titles are announced.

Here’s what you have to look forward to this year:

The Ascent

TBA | Neon Games | XSX, XBO, PC

The Ascent was originally planned as an Xbox Series X launch title before it slipped into 2021. A twin stick shooter at its core, The Ascent features a cover system as well as the ability to target high and low points on enemies, all in a destructible, open world cyberpunk setting. You can also fully customize your character with a variety augments.

Though Neon Games is a small studio, Epic Games was so impressed with early work on the title, that Neon was awarded a grant to help cover development costs. We’re really looking forward to this smaller take on the cyberpunk genre.

Axiom Verge 2

TBA | Thomas Happ Games | Switch

Metroidvanias from indie developers are a dime a dozen nowadays, but the original Axiom Verge stood out thanks to its tight controls, varied weapons, and compelling story. Axiom Verge 2 looks to largely be more of the same, but with even better graphics and more complex enemy patterns. The game has been in development for the past four years, but should finally be out in early 2021.

Balan Wonderworld

March 26 | Balan Company and Arzest | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch

Balan Wonderworld is a modern take on classic platformers of the 32-bit era. You choose from one of two characters and explore a variety of worlds mixing reality and imagination, but the real hook is the 80 different costumes you can find that unlock new abilities for your characters.

The game was directed by Yuji Naka of Sonic the Hedgehog fame. Fans of the platformers of the early ’90s don’t want to miss this one.

Back 4 Blood

October 12 | Turtle Rock Studios | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Valve may not have been able to get its act together to make a new Left 4 Dead game, but the developer behind the best-selling franchise has a spiritual successor in the works. Just like in Left 4 Dead, you’ll team up with three other players to take on waves of the undead in missions that change every time you play. There will also be a competitive 4v4 mode with one team taking the role of the zombies.

We went hands-on with the Back 4 Blood alpha, and so far, it does play a lot like Left 4 Dead with updated graphics, which isn’t a bad thing at all if you miss the classic horde shooter. The card system, which bestows interesting perks (and buffs) to players and zombies, does add a bit of variety to the usual formula that make this one a sleeper hit in the streaming world.

Bravely Default II

February 26 | Claytechworks | Switch

The first two Bravely Default games released on the 3DS were typical fantasy RPGs bolstered by their unique risk-reward battle system. Players could use brave points to stack up attacks for big damage, or default to save them up and take less damage in a turn. It kept those games fresh, even if they sometimes dragged on for too long.

Bravely Default II brings the series’ unique combat exclusively to the Switch for the first time. And true to its Final Fantasy inspirations, the characters and story are completely original, so you don’t need any familiarity with the earlier games.

Chivalry 2

June 8 | Torn Banner Studios | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Chivalry: Medieval Warfare was a huge multiplayer hit on the PC when it was released in 2012. Unfortunately, with lagging developer support, most of the community moved on to other games long ago.

Now, Torn Banner is hoping to bring players back with the sequel, which boasts next-gen graphics, improved combat, and massive 64-player battles. Needless to say, Chivalry 2 could be the next big thing in multiplayer. The game is currently in Closed Alpha, so you might be able to check it out before release if you sign up here.

Chorus

TBA | Fishlabs | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Stadia

There’s been a serious lack of good third-person space combat shooters in recent years, but Chorus looks to rectify that. In this single-player game, you’ll play as Nara and her sentient ship Forsaken as they work together to track down the cult that created them in what Fishlabs is calling a “dark new universe.” It kind of looks like Goth Star Fox.

Unfortunately, we haven’t really seen anything more from Chorus since it was announced last summer. Hopefully, the radio silence ends soon.

CrossfireX

TBA | Smilegate Entertainment and Remedy Entertainment | XSX, XBO

CrossFire is a hugely popular tactical first-person shooter in China and South Korea, even though it’s barely made a mark in the West. Fortunately, Microsoft is bringing an updated version of the shooter exclusively to its consoles in hopes that it’ll catch on. Expect lots of tense, objective-based multiplayer action, and though the series isn’t known for its single-player, we’re looking forward to what Remedy can do with this mode hot on the heels of the excellent Control.

Like several of the titles on this list, CrossfireX was planned as a launch title for the Series X, but was delayed into 2021 due to development issues caused by the coronavirus pandemic. Let’s hope we don’t have to wait that much longer for this one.

Deathloop

May 21 | Arkane Studios | PS5, PC

What if you could combine the movie Groundhog Day with the Hitman series? It’s likely that no one had actually asked that question before Deathloop. You play as Colt, an assassin stuck in a time loop on an island in the midst of a party that resets every day. You have to eliminate eight targets before midnight and avoid dying yourself, or you’ll end up at the beginning of the loop again.

Deathloop also features a multiplayer component that allows players to jump into your game as an assassin named Julianna, who is tasked with taking Colt down before he can complete his mission. This PvP aspect should result in some very interesting playthroughs.

While Microsoft now owns Arkane as part of its purchase of ZeniMax Media and Bethesda Softworks, don’t expect Deathloop on the Xbox any time soon. It’s still launching exclusively on the PS5 and PC.

Diablo 2: Resurrected

TBA | Vicarious Visions | XSX, PS5, XBO, PS4, PC, Switch

While Diablo III’s reputation has improved substantially since its controversial 2012 launch, there’s still a vocal group of gamers who prefer the second game in Blizzard’s genre-defining action RPG series. Knowing how much this game means to a lot of people, Vicarious Visions has said it’s not out to reinvent the wheel for Resurrected. The updated 3D graphics will display in 4K, but you can switch back to the original graphics at any point with the press of a button.

And while there will be some quality of life improvements like a shared item stash and automatic gold pickup, don’t expect any revolutionary changes that will spoil the original experience. This should be exactly what we need to tide us over until Diablo IV hits.

Disgaea 6: Defiance of Destiny

June 29 | Nippon Ichi Software | Switch

After a couple of well-received remakes, the first new Disgaea title in more than five years should be out in 2021. This time around, the offbeat story focuses on Zed, a zombie who attempts to use something called “super reincarnation” to stop the seemingly invincible God of Destruction who is slowly destroying all worlds.

While both the PlayStation 4 and Switch are dialed in for Japanese releases in January, so far only a Switch version has been announced for the West.

Dungeons & Dragons: Dark Alliance

June 22 | Tuque Games | XSX, PS5, XBO, PS4, PC

Baldur’s Gate isn’t the only Dungeons & Dragons video game series back from the dead. The cooperative action-adventure series Dark Alliance once again allows players to journey into the world of the Forgotten Realms with up to three other friends online. And unlike Baldur’s Gate 3, Dark Alliance is releasing in completed form, so you can expect a full campaign right out of the box.

The Elder Scrolls Online: Blackwood

June 1 | ZeniMax Online Studios | XSX, PS5, XBO, PS4, PC, Stadia

Last year’s Elder Scrolls Online expansion finally brought the world of Skyrim to the MMO, and ZeniMax is keeping the blasts from the past coming. This year’s expansion, Blackwood, brings back elements from Oblivion, with a whole new campaign that sees you face off against Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon 800 years before the events of The Elder Scrolls IV. It’s all part of the year’s big Gates of Oblivion storyline.

The expansion adds the Blackwood region to the game, which includes the Imperial city of Leyawiin from Oblivion, and also finally brings a Companion system to the game. Recruit an NPC to fight by your side and explore the land of Tamriel.

Evil Dead: The Game

TBA | Boss Team Games and Saber Interactive | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch

The Evil Dead movies are considered all-time horror classics, but success has always eluded the franchise in the world of video games. But that could be about to change. Announced at The Game Awards, Evil Dead: The Game sees Ash and friends taking on waves of Deadites on several maps, including the iconic cabin in the woods. Gameplay appears to be similar to Saber’s previous adaptation, World War Z, which was a solid title that never quite seemed to find an audience.

Far Cry 6

TBA | Ubisoft | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Stadia, Luna

By now we all know what to expect from Far Cry: hop into a tropical paradise, blow up a bunch of outposts, and methodically take back the land from the big bad guy. After a detour into the American wilderness with Far Cry 5, the next entry in the series heads to Yara, a fictional Caribbean country heavily based on Cuba. And with Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad and The Mandalorian fame playing the big bad El Presidente, you know we’re in for some especially awesome villainy.

Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker

TBA | Square Enix | PS5, PS4, PC

After one of the worst MMORPG launches ever, it’s a miracle that Final Fantasy XIV is still around a decade later. Not only did Square Enix turn things around, this game is now regarded as one of the very best in the genre.

Endwalker, the game’s fourth major expansion pack will conclude the story of the warring gods Hydaelyn and Zodiark, which has been running since the game’s 2013 relaunch. This won’t be the end of the MMO, though. Square still says it has several years worth of stories to tell.

Along with the obligatory new zones and quests, Square has promised two new classes. The first one shown so far, the sage, is a healer who battles with floating swords.

Five Nights at Freddy’s: Security Breach

TBA | Steel Wool Studios | PS5, PS4, PC

The Five Nights at Freddy’s series has been terrorizing gamers for more than a half decade now, and Steel Wool Studio is looking to up the scares with the power of next-generation graphics. We don’t know how exactly the game will play yet, but the announcement video showcased a very cool looking shopping mall with an ‘80s motif. On the PS5 and PC, Security Breach will support real-time raytracing, so Freddy and the gang should look better than ever.

Ghosts ‘n Goblins Resurrection

February 25 | Capcom | Switch

After a lengthy absence, the crushingly difficult Ghosts ‘n Goblins series has been revived. Resurrection, which is a whole new installment and not just a remake, features the series’ classic 2D gameplay, with the knight Arthur fighting his way through hordes of monsters and environmental hazards. And of course, the new graphics look much better than the old NES and SNES games. Best (worst?) of all, this modern take is just as punishing as its predecessors so be prepared to die A LOT.

Ghostwire: Tokyo

TBA | Tango Gameworks | PS5, PC

Tango Gameworks has only released two titles to date: The Evil Within and its sequel. Anyone who played those games can tell you, the developers know horror. With a variety of deformed enemies and a mind-bending plot, The Evil Within titles are two of the scariest games of the last decade.

Ghostwire: Tokyo is a brand new IP that moves the action to the third-person. Instead of the typical firearms, you’ll be dispatching ghosts with psychic powers. Expect an exceedingly creepy experience regardless.

God of War: Ragnarok

TBA | SIE Santa Monica Studio | PS5

Sony has said almost nothing about the next God of War game except that it’s coming next year. One thing we do know is that Ragnarok is the mythical battle leading to the death of the Norse gods. With Kratos’ history of deicide, it only makes sense that he’ll be killing a whole lot of them in the next game. The previous title also hinted at a showdown with Thor, the god of thunder (no, not the Marvel guy), which should be pretty epic.

Guilty Gear Strive

June 11 | Arc System Works | PS5, PS4, PC

The latest in the long-running Guilty Gear franchise should be out early in 2021 with some interesting new fighters as well as exciting returning characters. There will be a dedicated dash button and a new feature will let opponents who are knocked into walls cling to them. If you can land enough attacks, you will break through the wall and initiate a stage transition.

Arc has promised “a completely new Guilty Gear” with Strive. We’re not sure about that, but the trailers showcasing the franchise’s trademark mix of 2D and 3D graphics look better than ever.

Halo Infinite

Fall | 343 Industries | XSX, XBO, PC

After a disappointing reveal last July, Halo Infinite was bumped from the Series X launch to Fall 2021. The game has been described as both a sequel and a “spiritual reboot” for the series, so it will be interesting to see how far 343 Industries handles Cortana’s heel turn after the fan backlash Halo 5: Guardians received.

Many fans weren’t happy to hear more microtransactions will be added to Infinite in the form of “coatings” (shaders) that can be purchased to customize Spartans in multiplayer. It doesn’t help that players have yet to even see any multiplayer gameplay from Infinite.

Hopefully, the delay will give 343 the time it needs to put out a game that lives up to the series’ reputation.

Hitman III

January 20 | IO Interactive | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch, Stadia

IO’s rebooted Hitman games are among the most underrated titles of the last few years, streamlining the series’ once finnicky systems and placing Agent 47 in huge sandbox levels with more ways than ever to eliminate his targets. If you own the previous two games, you can import maps and progress to take advantage of Hitman III’s improvements on any platform, but only the PS4 version will support the PSVR headset for the ultimate Hitman experience.

Horizon Forbidden West

TBA | Guerilla Games | PS5, PS4

Thanks to its unique post-post-apocalyptic setting and fluid gameplay, Horizon Zero Dawn was one of the best open world games of the previous generation. The sequel looks to out do the original with even more varied environments like deserts, beaches, and the ruins of San Francisco. And there will of course be more mechanized prehistoric beasts than ever before.

While Forbidden West is coming to the PS4 as well, the PS5’s DualSense controller should provide the definitive experience thanks to its haptic feedback. You should finally be able to feel what it’s like for Aloy to pull back on her iconic bow.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD

July 16 | Nintendo | Switch

The Legend of Zelda series turned 35 this year and Nintendo is celebrating the milestone with an HD remaster of one of the most underrated installments in the long-running franchise. Skyward Sword takes things back all the way to the very beginning of the Zelda timeline, telling the story of how the mythical Master Sword was created. Along the way, players are in for a fun adventure including some interesting experiments with motion control.

While it’ll likely never be as beloved as the games before it or Breath of the Wild, this Wii installment is still worth experiencing, especially if you missed it back in 2011.

Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga

TBA | Traveller’s Tales | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch

There have been plenty of Lego Star Wars games, including one that already adapted the “complete” saga, but this will be the first to feature the entire Sequel Trilogy. Even if you’ve played through those other games, The Skywalker Saga will feature never-before-seen levels and gameplay.

Traveller’s Tales promises an absolutely massive game, too. Each of the nine films features five levels, and the movies can be played through in any order. Nearly 500 playable characters are expected to be included in the final game. We’d love it if Mando and Grogu make the final cut, too.

Mario Golf: Super Rush

June 25 | Nintendo | Switch

It’s been a while since Nintendo dropped a new Mario Golf game, but it’s finally happening on the Switch. While Super Rush offers up much of the same Mario Golf action you know and love, it does have an interesting new mode called Speed Golf, which pits competitors against each other as they race down the course in real time to see who scores first. It should add a bit of pep to the chill vibes of the series.

Mass Effect: Legendary Edition

May 14 | BioWare | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Nearly a decade since its conclusion, the Mass Effect trilogy remains a favorite among many gamers. BioWare hasn’t commented too much about what to expect from this remaster, but we know the visuals will be upgraded to 4K, and all of the excellent post-launch DLC will be included. The developer has also promised other upgrades to bring the titles up to modern standards, so maybe we’ll see some changes to the first game’s finicky combat. And if Bioware is feeling particularly ambitious, we might even get a few hints as to what they have planned for the upcoming sequel.

The Medium

January 28 | Bloober Team | XSX, PC

Originally announced way back in 2012 for the Xbox 360, PS3, and Wii U, The Medium was shelved for years due to technological constraints before finally resurfacing in 2020. Gameplay focuses on a medium who can instantaneously travel between the real world and the spirit realm to solve puzzles, something that just wasn’t possible until the current crop of consoles adopted solid state drives.

Bloober Team has quietly built a reputation for itself with excellent single-player horror games like Observer and Layers of Fear, and The Medium is their most ambitious game yet.

Monster Hunter Rise

March 26 | Capcom | Switch

The excellent Monster Hunter: World helped the series find a large audience in the West, although the game’s more demanding performance requirements kept it off the Switch. Fortunately, Rise is built specifically for Nintendo’s portable-console hybrid. And rather than a watered down port of World, Capcom this is a full-featured sequel with a new, more vertical map and all 14 weapon types from Monster Hunter: World and Monster Hunter Generations. If you’ve been waiting to jump on the Monster Hunter craze on the Switch, now is the time!

New Pokemon Snap

April 30 | Nintendo | Switch

Nintendo is unleashing peak late ’90s nostalgia with this revival of the Pokemon Snap series for the Switch. Wrapped in a modern package, New Pokemon Snap is more of the on-rails photography game you loved when you were a kid. The game features over 200 Pokemon to capture with your trusty camera, which you can upload online to share with other players. And true to the Instagram era, you can now touch up your pictures, adding blur and filters, adjusting the zoom, and more. This is a must-buy for Nintendo fans.

New World

August 31 | Amazon Games | PC

Amazon has had its sights set on the gaming world for quite some time, quietly pumping money into a number of projects, and New World could be its breakthrough hit. In this MMORPG set on an unnamed land in the Atlantic Ocean in the 1600s, you’ll wield bows, hammers, hatchets, magical staffs, musket rifles, spears, and swords against a variety of fantastical creatures. There will also be plenty of opportunities to gather resources, craft and build settlements. Best of all, there’s no monthly fee to play.

Launching a new IP is always difficult, and MMOs are a particularly difficult genre to break into, but if any company has the resources to succeed, it’s Amazon.

Nier Replicant ver.1.22474487139…

April 23 | Square Enix | PS4, XBO, PC

Before Nier: Automata was hailed as one of the best games of the last generation, there was simply Nier, a quirky, slightly janky action RPG that nevertheless found a devoted fanbase on the PS3 and Xbox 360. Square Enix has been cagey on exactly what improvements we’ll see in Replicant, an updated version of the original, saying only that it’s somewhere between a remaster and a full remake.

The screenshots we’ve seen so far look absolutely gorgeous, and the combat system will also be updated to more closely resemble Automata’s gameplay. Considering that Nier‘s graphics and combat were criticized at the time, Replicant could end up being the definitive version of the experience.

Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection

June 10 | Team Ninja | XBO, PS4, Switch, PC

Before there was Dark Souls, masochists flocked to the Ninja Gaiden series, which basically wrote the book on punishing action games. If you’ve been missing this franchise of late, Koei Tecmo is re-releasing three of the 3D installments in a sleek new collection for modern platforms. Included in the box are Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, and Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor’s Edge, plus most of the downloadable content released for these games.

No More Heroes III

August 27 | Grasshopper Manufacture | Switch

Another game that was bumped into 2021 at the last minute, we actually haven’t seen that much from this one, even though it should be out soon. Screenshots show Travis Touchdown wielding his trademark beam katana and performing pro wrestling moves on enemies. And everything looks much better on the Switch than the first two games originally released on the Wii.

As we’ve all come to expect from Suda51 and Grasshopper Manufacture by now, the story sounds absolutely bonkers, involving a weird parody of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and aliens posing as superheroes who Travis must now defeat to save the world. It doesn’t make a ton of sense, but No More Heroes fans wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Outlast Trials

TBA | Red Barrels | PC

While The Outlast Trials will be the third game in the Outlast series, it won’t follow the plot of the previous games and instead will focus on the subjects of some sort of Cold War experiment. Those earlier games didn’t feature any combat, instead forcing you to evade enemies to survive, and it’s a safe bet that The Outlast Trials will follow a similar gameplay structure. It’ll also feature four-player co-op, a first for the horror series. Knowing Red Barrels, you should expect something really scary.

Outriders

April 1 | People Can Fly | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Outriders combines the shooter and RPG genres in some unique and engaging ways. At the start of the game, you’ll pick from one of four classes: the time manipulating Trickster, fire-controlling Pyromancer, the seismic-powered Devastator, or the Technomancer, each of whom has a full-featured skill tree. Some have compared the title to live service games like Destiny and The Division, but Outriders also has a style of its own, presenting itself as a grittier alternative to those games.

Persona 5 Strikers

February 23 | Omega Force and P-Studio | PS4, PC, Switch

It’s a tradition at this point for Atlus to spin-off a Persona game into as many other titles as possible. We’ve already seen rhythm and dungeon crawler spin-offs of Persona 5 (and even a Super Smash Bros. cameo from Joker), but this is The Phantom Thieves’ first foray into the hack and slash genre. Gameplay is a mix of the usual Dynasty Warriors combo attacks, but there are also turn-based persona battles as well. And of course, expect plenty of Persona 5’s usual style and flare.

Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis

TBA | Sega | XSX, XBO, PC

Wait, didn’t Phantasy Star Online 2 just come out? Well yes, but only in the West. Japan has been playing the game since 2012, which is why the MMORPG might feel a little dated. New Genesis is a half update-half sequel with updated combat, and for the first time in the series, open world areas. It’s more like the Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn update instead of a whole new game. The best part is that you’ll be able to transfer over your character from PSO 2 to New Genesis, and like its predecessor, it will be completely free-to-play.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Remake

TBA | Ubisoft | PS4, XBO, PC

The Sands of Time was arguably the best game of the PS2 era, which is why a remake is long overdue. Fan reception regarding the new art style has been mixed, though it certainly does look better than the original 2003 release. But how this remake plays remains to be seen.

While lauded for its tight platforming and time-bending mechanics, The Sands of Time always suffered from lackluster combat. Let’s hope Ubisoft has ironed out all of the kinks with this remake, though.

Originally planned for a January release, Ubisoft recently pushed the game back to March 18, so we’ll have to wait just a little bit longer for the return of the Prince.

Psychonauts 2

TBA | Double Fine | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Fans have been waiting for a Psychonauts sequel for 15 years now. Fortunately, it looks like Double Fine’s follow up will finally see the light of day in 2021. The first game was praised for its varied levels and puzzles, and Psychonauts 2 will again see Raz delving into the psyches of other characters, with hilarious and frightening results. Raz won’t be completely alone for this journey as Double Fine has announced that he will be joined by a new glowing companion voiced by Jack Black.

Rainbow Six Quarantine

TBA | Ubisoft | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Rainbow Six Siege is still one of the most popular multiplayer games on the market years after its release, which is why Ubisoft isn’t looking to get in the way of its own success with Quarantine. While Siege focuses on PvP combat, Quarantine takes its inspiration from that game’s popular limited time Outbreak mode. In this spin-off, teams of three work together to eliminate an alien threat controlled by the AI in dynamic missions. The game won’t be completely independent from Siege though, with at least some of its roster of operators also being playable in Quarantine.

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

June 11 | Insomniac games | PS5

There hasn’t been a bad Ratchet & Clank game yet, and Rift Apart seems poisted to continue that trend. The basic gameplay will be similar to the excellent 2016 reboot, but Insomniac is taking advantage of the power of the PS5’s SSD to introduce instant travel between completely different worlds. From what we’ve seen in gameplay trailer so far, the mechanic is very impressive in action. Equally stunning are the game’s visuals, which will support real-time raytracing and full 4K resolution.

Resident Evil Village

May 7 | Capcom | XSX, PS5, PC

Resident Evil Village is a direct sequel to Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, but don’t call it Resident Evil 8, as Capcom is emphatic that the focus will be on the mysterious occurrences in a European village and not the larger Resi universe. From the one trailer we’ve seen, we know that Ethan Winters will be returning from the previous game, and this time around he’ll be joined by series regular Chris Redfield.

Gameplay will again be in first-person, so you should notice quite a few similarities with Resi 7, but with improved graphics and much shorter load times since this will be one of the first major next-gen releases that won’t have a PS4 or Xbox One version.

Scorn

TBA | Ebb Software | XSX, PC

Scorn looks like an absolute nightmare, but in the best possible way. It is, after all, directly inspired by the art of H.R. Giger of Alien fame and Polish painter Zdzisław Beksiński. In Scorn, you play as a skinless humanoid searching for answers in a horrific techno-organic open world. At the very least, it promises to be the most disturbing title of the year.

Shin Megami Tensei V

2021 | Atlus | Switch

While the Persona spin-off series gets most of the attention nowadays, the original Shin Megami Tensei franchise is still going strong, and the latest title in the long-running series should be out worldwide next year.

This is the first Shin Megami Tensei developed using the Unreal Engine 4, so it should look fantastic, but expect similar gameplay to previous titles, including turn-based combat and lots of negotiating with demons to try to get them to join your party.

Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury on Switch

February 12 | Nintendo | Switch

When it was released in 2013, Super Mario 3D World was easily one of the best Mario games in years, effortlessly combining the 3D movement of newer games in the series with the level design and multiple characters of the original NES games. You could play as Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Toad, or Rosalina, and they could each don catsuits that opened up all sorts of new platforming opportunities. But maybe 10 people played it because no one bought the Wii U.

Fortunately, the game received the re-release it deserved this year. Plus you get a whole new campaign called Bowser’s Fury, an interesting twist on the usual Mario level structure that’s worth a playthrough.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2

TBA | GSC Game World | XSX, PC

The original S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games were praised for their horrifying atmosphere, survival horror gameplay, and unique setting in the radioactive Chernobyl zone. Even now, almost 14 years after its release, Shadow of Chernobyl holds up pretty well, even if the graphics are dated.

At this point, we know more about S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2’s troubled development than the game itself. The title was first announced in 2010, cancelled in 2012, and then revived in 2018. The trailer released in 2020 looks promising though, and Microsoft has announced that the game will be available via Game Pass on release day.

Valheim

February 2 | Iron Gate AB

Valheim came out of nowhere to become one of the big success stories of 2021, selling more than a million copies less than three weeks after its early access release. If you aren’t caught up on the latest Steam phenomenon, think of it as Minecraft mixed with Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. You and up to nine other friends are dropped off in the middle of a Viking afterlife to survive, craft, and battle mythical creatures.

Iron Gate AB has been vague about what exactly to expect from future updates, but the studio has teased future customization options for homes and ships, and eventually even a new biome to explore.

Warhammer 40,000: Darktide

TBA | Fatshark | XSX, PC

Fatshark’s previous Warhammer Vermintide games were among the best co-op titles of the last generation, featuring heart-pumping four-player multiplayer action against hordes of rat men. The latest installment, Darktide, has a lot in common with previous Vermintide games, except that the setting has moved to the sci-fi-heavy Warhammer 40,000 universe. Players will control members of the Inquisition, who are sent on a mission to exterminate a heretical cult known as The Admonition. The game will feature the same visceral melee combat as its predecessors, but this time all that killing is done for the glory of the God Emperor.

Wrath: Aeon of Ruin

TBA | KillPixel

First-person shooters have come a long way in the last couple of decades, but some times you just want to run and gun in a dark fantasy setting as quickly as possible. And remarkably few modern games provide that experience. Enter Wrath: Aeon of Ruin, a spiritual successor to Quake, Doom, and Hexen, built on the 25-year-old Quake Engine.

Wrath has been in Early Access since November 2019, and what’s been released so far is very promising, looking and sounding like a lost PC shooter from the late ‘90s. The full game should be out later this year.

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disworl · 5 years ago

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Alive, indefinitely.

So, since I’ve been dutifully informed that since this is my blog and I can post hwhatever I want, I thought I’d talk a little about my ‘fic ‘Alive, indefinitely’.

The ‘fic was birthed by me realizing the implications of Hussie’s revision that all burgundy bloods have the ability to commune with the dead. For the most part, I dislike his changes where the trolls from Homestuck proper become near stock representatives of their entire bloodcaste, but at least, this one has compelling subtext instead of just seeming lazy. And it is that the bloodcaste that has the ability to commune with the dead is also the bloodcaste that lives the shortest and is the most likely to have friends and acquaintences who die often.

And who better explore that topic than Aradia? So I wrote the ‘fic, and it did branch out to be about her, partially as her role as a rustblood on Alternia. And so it grew bigger than just exploring the subtext. I knew I wanted it in little numbered parts that made vignettes, as I’d been working on writing longer stories and was worried I was losing my edge in vignettes and short fiction. Though the resulting ‘fic ended up 1,677 words (I intended to keep it under 1,000, though I’m not disappointed!), I’m still very satisfied with it and think the vignettes work. With the numbering of the vignettes, I also wanted to do an sort of Epileptic Bicycle and start skipping around numbers, to show that there was different amounts of time passing, and that things were happening in between. And because I just thought it was neat. The idea of a story with missing numbered chapters is very compelling. And anyway, I did have a skip, with the penultimate vignette being 5, and the ultimate being 10 (which upon thought really does make the ‘a lifetime later’ after the 10 work out mathematically*), but it played nowhere near as a big role as I would want to. Maybe some other time.

*Which since all the numbers are roman numerals, 10 ends up being ‘x’, which as a symbol is associated with death. I planned none of that (or at least I don’t remember it consciously) but I will take credit, regardless.

II.

For a second I thought Tumblr was more competent than it is, so I tried to insert a line break, but Tumblr is not competent, so have a fancy second section with big roman numerals instead.

Anyway, I’m just going to note and comment on some specific parts of the passage, because I can.

The internet is wide and wonderful, and it is through there that she learns about archaeology, the wonders lying just beneath the ground and thinks, to be an archaeologist would be an awfully grand adventure.

What Aradia thinks is a fairly straightforward play on the phrase, ‘to die would be an awfully grand adventure’. It's a neat way to both tie back the theme, and it also spared me from figuring out exactly how to phrase it.

She finds especially good company with one boy, his troll tag resting at the top of her chumproll. He’s a rustblood like her, a bit reserved but passionate about the mystery book he’s writing. Occasionally he sends her snippets from it, and while it’s a bit clumsy, he is always eager to hear about her archaeological expeditions, so she never mentions it.

When I wrote this part, I suddenly realized I needed an unnamed rustblood to die. I also realized it would be a good idea to also characterize him a little bit before killing him off, so you get at least the idea of what his and Aradia’s relationship was like, so I decided to use one of my long-derelict fantrolls.

So she starts to rebel. She grows her hair out, longer than the modest shoulder-length cut she had before. She lets it become wild, a sign of her own spirit and power. She starts painting her lips and lining her eyes in burgundy, a mockery of the high bloods who wear their blue hues as a fashion statement.

This is a combination of two of my headcanons about Alternian society: that long, wild hair is seen as a sign of power and sexuality (as expressed by the Condesce and other highbloods), and that wearing hemo lipstick and eyeliner is a high blood fashion trend.

When she is five sweeps old, she makes another close friend. He’s a bit shy, but unapologetic about what he likes – his fiduspawn collection, pupa pan, FLARPing – and that, as much as she loves Sollux, is a breath of fresh air.

Tavros is often done dirty by fanfic and fan-interpretations of Homestuck, and it often intertwines with apologism for Vriska and her abuse of him. He’s treated as a perpetually and naturally weak and insignificant, when having a person who is abusive like Vriska will make anyone unsure and rattled like that. It takes some digging, as the majority of Homestuck takes after Vriska’s batted around Tavros for quite a while, but underneath her abuse (and the effects from that abuse at the hands of Alternian culture) it’s clear that he’s still that unapologetically dorky kid, and even cocky at times. In his trollhandle adiosToreador, he’s not the Toreador - he’s the bull. And hopefully I could express that well in the space that I could.

She befriends Karkat through Sollux, and Terezi through Karkat, and it’s through Terezi that she learns about Vriska.

This is one of several sentences in this ‘fic that employ a certain sense of repetition and rhythm. Part of that is because it gives a motif of time, which is tied to death and destruction in Homestuck, and the other half is because I just... really like writing ‘em.

She still talks with Tavros, however, but now he’s uncertain, hesitant and ashamed, and a fair number of times when she trolls him he doesn’t reply, and when he does more than anything he talks about the things he’s experienced in his dreams, and she knows exactly who has been trolling him even if he doesn’t say it and –

– and Aradia watches her friend become a living ghost, bit by bit.

This is place where I forwent canon the most, earning the ‘fic its ‘mild timeline fudgery’ tag. Throughout writing this ‘fic I constantly had a tab open to either a page in Homestuck or the wiki, or both, in order to make sure I stayed as accurate to Alternian culture that I could (at least, in Homestuck proper). While there were a lot of gaps that I got fill in for myself, it’s just plain canon that Aradia sends the ghosts after Vriska immediately after she knows that Tavros is likely going to be paraplegic for the rest of his life. But I had written the sentence already (one of my favourite lines, really), and it just makes for a better story, at least in this ‘fic. So I kept it like that. There’s also a sort of cut-and-paste fudge in that sentence, too. I remembered that Tavros spent most of his time dreaming on Prospit just so he didn’t have to deal with Vriska’s abuse, but as it turns out, it happens after she god-tiers. So I just turned it into regular dreaming and thereby folded into the above canon discrepancy. But it’s definitely based on that later detail.

iv.

The shock of seeing Sollux actually at her hive is quickly overtaken by the shock that courses through her veins right after she realizes what is about to happen, and far too late to do anything about it.

I knew pretty early that I wanted the vignette of her death to be one sentence long, though I certainly ended up stretching that one sentence fairly far. Either way, it’s very isolated from the rest of the ‘fic, which is fairly on-par for the ‘fic style where a particularly hard-hitting or important sentence gets its own paragraph. Anyway, everyone knows how the story ends, and it’s sudden for Aradia, so I think putting it in one sentence both works structurally and artistically.

She’s tired of temporal inevitability.

She’s free of the endless orders and voices of the dead.

She, for the first time in her life, feels truly alive.

Instead of the pale shadows that clung to her hive, the hollow ghosts that people left behind, the dream bubbles are filled with countless iterations of her friends, and numerous others.

But even then, dying and waking up in foreign surroundings is a shock.

And really, there’s no-one else who would be a better guide to greet the dead.

At this point, I feel again, that going into detail would be dragging things out. I also wanted it to feel significantly different from the rest. So, where the other parts of the story are told through a sort of rolling tone of voice, through ‘the lens of age old history’ the rather straightforward sentences here are meant to sound very present.

#Homestuck #Aradia Megido #Fanfiction #Hemospectrum #Long post-#Commentary #Andrew Hussie's Earthbound fanfiction

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mikumutual · 5 years ago

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answers aa themed questions nobody asked because i’m cool and sexy

also i havent played the 5th or 6th games so

YOUR FAVOURITE…? 1. Favourite Ace Attorney game? honestly? phoenix wright ace attorney! everything’s fresh, there aren’t many weak characters, and the plot is remarkable (especially the fifth case). the whole trilogy is really good as one unit though 2. Favourite case? 1-4, 1-5, 2-4, and 3-5 are tied lol, i can’t make a decision to save my life. 2-1 is really really funny tho 3. Favourite defendant? as a defendant, lana skye. as a person, edgeworth 4. Favourite prosecutor? as a prosecutor, franziska von karma. as a person, edgeworth 5. Favourite ship? wrightworth obviously... ive probably put more thought into them over the last 3 years than any other ship 6. Favourite victim? probably mia fey or gregory edgeworth... but for non-relevant victims, neil marshall :( 7. Favourite murderer? shelly de killer, i LOVE that guy. but dee vasquez was very cool as well 8. Favourite assistant? maya fey!!!!!!!!!! but i like kay faraday a lot too (im so sorry ema) 9. Favourite witness? adrian andrews... or maybe iris? i mean i didn’t like iris but god what a person 10. Favourite quote? “It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses... The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one... It's never easy... We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you.” - Miles Edgeworth i made this one of my senior quotes :]

YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE…? 11. Least favourite Ace Attorney game? uh fucking apollo justice. literally what the hell was that 12. Least favourite case? turnabout visitor wasn’t very strong? i guess it’s fine as an intro, but it’s also wonky with the timeline of aai 13. Least favourite defendant? max galactica. he’s better in the anime though 14. Least favourite prosecutor? manfred von karma, obviously. i like every other prosecutor (who i know of) though, even winston payne is pretty funny in hindsight 15. Least favourite ship? “miles edgeworth/female oc”. there are a lot of bad ships though, mostly involving phoenix & his assistants. dont do that please 16. Least favourite victim? zak gramarye for kickstarting that shitty, shitty game 17. Least favourite murderer? again mvk... but also fucking frank sahwit LMAO 18. Least favourite assistant? i guess trucy 19. Least favourite witness? fuck everyone from turnabout big top unless it was the anime episode 20. Least favourite memory of Ace Attorney? repeatedly trying and failing to download the emulator for aai2 hbjsjhdb i eventually got it but someone had to send me the download fully pre-patched and i felt kinda useless DO YOU PREFER…? 21. Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice? phoenix wright. fuck that “GOTCHA!” mechanic jesus christ 22. Maya Fey or Trucy Wright? maya fey. nothing personal against trucy but i just dont like aj hbjsdjhsdb also maya is really sweet and fun and she has the best sprites. she seems like she’d be a good friend, it’s too bad that she doesn’t have the time for them as a spirit medium and all :( if maya ema and kay got to hang out together itd be wild 23. Investigations or trials? trials are easier in my opinion because investigations have several things you could be doing without such a linear style, so if you miss something, you won’t really know until you wander around forever 24. College Phoenix or Hobo Phoenix? college feenie!!!!! he’s like trilogy feenie but more emotional and less witty. i like to pretend that hobo phoenix doesnt exist 25. Klavier Gavin or Kristoph Gavin? who would say kristoph 26. Ace Attorney or Ace Attorney Investigations? ace attorney but only because phoenix is in it lmao. im actually rewatching a playthrough of aai now, and playing aai2 at the same time, so while it is on the mind, i feel like the cases characters and mechanics - while loved - don’t hold up to the OGs 27. Apollo’s perceive, Phoenix’s magatama, or Athena’s Mood Matrix? i actually kinda like the mood matrix more than anything because it has a really good UI and the magatama is kinda grating. but FUCK the gotcha mechanic it is SO FUCKING STUPID and IMPOSSIBLE TO USE. where is logic chess 28. Ace Attorney trilogy or Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies? you already know my answer to this one 29. 3D models or sprites? i do like the 3d models a lot but i like the original sprites more! imo original pixel sprites > 3D models > HD sprites. mostly bc the hd sprites are garbage (see here, here, and here) 30. Ema Skye as she is in Rise from the Ashes or Ema Skye as she is in Apollo Justice? rfta !!!!!! shes actually really nice as an assistant, esp considering the fact that we actually see her interact with her sister, which is something maya didn’t have very often. also her random appearance in aai was well appreciated by me

MISCELLANEOUS 31. Did you like what they did to Phoenix in Apollo Justice?

NO I AM SO FUCKING MAD WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM ISN’T HE A LAWYER WHY COULD HE NOT JUST DEFEND HIMSELF FROM THE FACT THAT HE “FORGED EVIDENCE” IT WASN’T EVEN HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE SOMEBODY ELSE FORGED IT AND HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT, MANFRED VON KARMA GOT AWAY WITH A FUCKLOAD OF NONSENSE AND SO DOES EVERY OTHER LAWYER SO WHY IS IT THAT PHOENIX CAN SURVIVE EATING A POISONED GLASS NECKLACE AND GETTING HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND FALLING FROM A BURNING BRIDGE INTO A RUSHING RAVINE AND BEING HIT BY A CAR BUT HE CAN’T FUCKING DEFEND HIMSELF LIKE HE DOES IN EVERY OTHER CASE BECAUSE THAT’S THE POINT OF THE GAME AND ALSO HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER

32. Your opinion on Dai Gyakuten Saiban? haven’t played it! it looks pretty cool though

33. Do you think Dai Gyakuten Saiban and/or Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 will get localised to the West? doubt it, since the creators have said that it won’t be. but the fan translations are pretty good, so i think it’s okay

34. Do you think Miles Edgeworth should get another Investigation-game or do you think another character deserves a spin-off? i mean he already has two, so i guess he doesn’t need another? like i love edgeworth but he’s not as fun without phoenix around. ngl i would play a franziska game. or a maya game, or any spinoff revolving around a side character. hell i’d play hotti game if it meant it took place in the trilogy era

35. Opinion on the soundtrack of the Ace Attorney-franchise? REALLY good. really really good. i love how each game of the trilogy has different composers but each track has the same theme and feel!!!

36. Do you like where the franchise is heading or did you prefer the atmosphere in the original trilogy? seriously absolutely completely prefer the trilogy. i’m sorry but the rush of youth and trust is way, way more enjoyable than whatever “i’m 35 and therefore middle aged” nonsense is happening in the 2020s

37. Capcom suddenly announces that Phoenix will no longer appear in the Ace Attorney franchise! Your reaction? He’s been replaced by Penny Nichols. Fuck you.

38. Capcom suddenly announces that the Ace Attorney franchise has ended for good! Your reaction? it was me i ended it

39. Would you like there to be another Ace Attorney/Professor Layton crossover game? i didnt play it but i really like the idea!!!!!! aa crossover games are really funny to me, i mean have you seen edgeworth in project x zone 2, lmao

40. Would you like an Ace Attorney anime? we have one now! honestly i don’t think it did a very good job of representing the cases, but it did do a good character remix of turnabout big top so that they’re not creepy anymore. they also did a really good job with the anime-specific cases, like the one on the train! it feels a lot better paced when it’s intended for that medium rather than just adapted. also the childhood episodes made me cry

41. Opinion on anime cutscenes in Ace Attorney? like in 5 and 6? mm, the art style is kinda weird, and i don’t really like the voices, but i guess not everything can be pachinko and prozd

42. Would you want to play an Ace Attorney game where you take on the prosecutor’s role? YEAH ACTUALLY!!!!!! it might be kinda weird being on the right side of the screen though lmao

43. Do you like having DLC in Ace Attorney-games? uhhh i hate having to buy extra things, but i’ll admit that they are pretty funny

44. Opinion on Lamiroir’s storyline? i only played aj so if shes in other games idk but i thought she was fine

45. One thing you think the Ace Attorney games can improve on? stop having creepy characters please. also jesus christ if phoenix and edgeworth arent wearing rings in aa7 i will become the ceo of capcom myself

46. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you like it to be based on an already existing case or would you like an all new storyline? i mean the musical did a pretty good job of adapting existing cases, so it might as well be new. it would be kinda hard to balance the games’ timeline & character development without being repetitive or an au

47. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you prefer it being live-action, 3D animated or 2D animated? stylized 2D animation, probably? i would want it to feel more like into the spiderverse than an anime, though. in my dream ace attorney movie, they’d just need a high art budget, several plausible deniability wrightworth scenes, and prozd to voice edgeworth

48. If there could be an Ace Attorney crossover with whatever franchise you’d like, which one would you choose? (Does not need to be a video-game franchise) your turn to die is probably closest in characterization, although its premise is more “locked in a room” than the open-world investigation of aa

49. Opinion on recurring witnesses? (Wendy Oldbag, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, etc.) honestly, i like them a lot! i don’t know why people hate them so much - i mean, i know lotta lied, and wendy is a horrible old flirt, and larry just kinda sucks all around. but they’re also pretty funny to have around! larry is a constant comic relief who reminds you how much better nick & edgey are in comparison, lotta is likeable as a general character (like in 2-4, although yeah, not remarkable), and wendy oldbag is really funny. she’s so fucking funny. none of you appreciate wendy oldbag’s quirks and you are SLEEPING ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

50. Do you think Dual Destinies deserved its M-rating? no idea, holy shit, it got an m-rating? i mean every game before it has had blood violence and very mild swearing, and since DD probably doesnt have anything too sexually risqué, i doubt it deserves a rating any harsher than the rest of the series

okay thanks thats all

#this was fun hbjsdsdj #yea i love the trilogy #also my theme makes all everything lowercase for some reason? so this is probably easier to read on mobile #ace attorney

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96xie · 5 years ago

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2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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