#ive learned so much even from fiction books

[dried-mushroom]

Hi hello! I absolutely adore how you write! It’s so nice to read~

Ive Seen the dating profile thingy you’ve posted of Harlan, and the „cuddling“ really caught my eye :0

Idk if you take requests right now, but if you do, could you maybe write something about how Harlan or AM get some well deserved cuddles? 👉👈

Have a lovely day! :D

Aww thank you so much, (I might do this for AM as well hehe) I really hope you enjoy this :)

Take a break

Harlan Ellison x Fem! reader

(tbh this one is a little vague in Harlan's description so it can be read as younger or older Harlan. It's up to you Pookie)

Summary: Harlan is having a severe case of writer's block and needs to relax (aka a shit ton of affection).

You were splayed out on the couch, messy h/c hair creating a halo around your head. You lazily drew patterns on the arm of the sofa, whilst the distinctive sound of typing filled the air. You lolled your head to the side, as Harlan sloped over the typewriter opposite where you were lying with a severe case of writer's block, to see how tense he was.

Your eyes travelled over the countless books and trinkets around the room to the expanse of his back and shoulders. Your eyes widen as you hear him sharply inhale and rip the paper out of the typewriter, discarding it onto the floor. When your eyes drifted lower, you saw the number of balls of crinkled paper beside the wooden chair he sat in, and your gaze softened.

You were another speculative fiction writer, that was one of the reasons he absolutely adored you. You met him at a convention, where you asked him to sign your old copy of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream and Spider Kiss, he had also heard of your works and didn't think you were too shabby at the genre.

When you walked up to the desk he sat at, and it just clicked between you both, a bit of a cliche but you didn't mind (plus he did have you ride him in the backseat of his car swiftly after the convention ended). You and Harlan had been together for a number of years and hadn't quarrelled once so you had come to learn his mannerisms and him, yours.

You rolled off the sofa, sauntering over to the man who ran his hands through his soft hair, clearly irritated. You stood beside him and with two fingers you tilted his chin towards you, he looked up at you with, in your opinion, the most adorable pout you've ever seen on a man (you would never dream of telling him this though), You knew he was frustrated about some aspect of the new story he was trying to write and he needed to relax before it consumed him. You'd know because it has happened to you in the past and writer's block is one of the most excruciating things to go through for an author, for you, it led you to question your own capabilities.

"Honey, What's going on in that amazingly talented brain of yours?'

He looked up at you with his ethereal blue eyes before nuzzling his head against your stomach and mumbling against you;

"It's just so frustrating. I've spent so long creating this world and ideas just for it to amount to nothing, absolutely nothing. I fear my talent may have waned over the years."

You cradle his head in your hands (think challengers), stroking his cheek lovingly.

"Harlan Ellison. You are the most talented writer I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and your talent has not waned ever since you started writing. God I practically fell in love with you the moment I read Spider Kiss when I was 15. Now come on baby, you need to take a break."

That was another thing Harlan loved you for, your endless compassion towards him. He knew he could be a massive pain in the ass sometimes but you still treated him no differently even before you started living together. He smiled up at you, as you moved your hands to grasp him, pulling him from his seat up the carpet-clad stairs to your shared bedroom, him following diligently behind you.

It was approaching dusk already, so you closed the curtains in the room and got changed into something more comfortable, you could feel Harlan's obvious gaze on your body and you rolled your eyes in jest. You returned the favour when he removed the tight black shirt he was wearing and got into bed, you following in pursuit. Once you both got settled, he did something unexpected he started nuzzling into your chest, and you felt his arms embracing you, pulling you so close the warmth from his chest radiated through the thin material of your singlet. You eagerly reciprocated, intertwining your legs with his and stroking his back softly. He murmured against your chest,

"Thank you, I mean it. I don't think I deserve you sometimes, "

That made you smile. You kissed his foreheard before slowly succumbing to sleep.That night, Harlan peacefully fell asleep listening to your heartbeat.

The end

I'm sorry it's short and if I'm not writing fast, I'm trying to write the handful of requests I got (keep em coming and thank you to those who did request.)

[journalsouppe]

UNWOUND FUTURE RAAHHHHHHHH!!! What an AMAZING trilogy conclusion with such a perfect setup for future sequels. I cannot recommend playing Professor Layton enough.

All of the Professor Layton stickers are from @jordydrawsmerch which can be found here and here. Every other sticker is from Daiso!

All the writing is typed below!

Rating: 9.3 Played: Fa 2023 Port: HD mobile (iPad) Favorite? Y Replayable? Y Recommend? Y

Comments:

the way the PM walked T^T

LMFAO STACHENSCARFEN

Layton’s about to be beat up bc of his top hat (skull emoji)

Getting major DGS 2-3 vibes

FAMILY GOON

An arc arcade? You’re speaking my language

I LOVE THE BLOCK HAT PUZZLE PIECES SPELLING LAYTON IN JAPANESE!!!

FLORA STICKER

BABY LAYTON BLUSHING IM SCREAMING

I really love the picture book and its music

THE DEVIL IN THE TOP HAT NOO

Luke always takes the opportunity to roast the Laytonmobile (skull emoji)

THEYRE JUST SHOOTING AT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

THE ORIGINS OF LAYTONS HAT IM GONNA CRY T^T

I love that bi Luke has his own puzzle solving sequence

Where the fuck did you take us future Luke

The battle of wits was so fun omg

I cant get over evil Layton

BIG LUKE AND LITTLE LUKE

Omg Hershel in the background

Based p. Layton newspaper conversation

LMFAO Hershel trespassing and Luke stressed

The bee???? T^T

FLORA PUZZLE SOLVED SEQUENCE T^T!!!!

GO OFF FLORA!!!!

Ooo pretty Chinese arc

Hershel i swear

Hmmm young sir… who is big Luke?

NOT AVOGADRO

Did all the scientists piss their pants?

I have a lot of questions

Love the design and music of the pagoda

Where tf did Hershel go (skull emoji)

Omg Luke’s a Sherlock fan

I feel like Layton was replaced with evil Layton

I swear Dimitri had a mustache??

THE BARS

WHERE IS FLORA

DON PAOLO LMAO

THE LUKE MOBING SCENE MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

How many secret hideouts are there T_T

NOOO FLORA

The barkeep is v sketch

Chad laytonmobile

I can see how this game inspired dgs

THE KAZUMA AND CLIVE PARALLELS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

BEASLY AND PUZZLETTE HOLY SHIT

“That’s funny” :[

Ive been side eyeing some of these designs the past 2 games but yeah bostro’s design is def racist

DON PAOLO TURNIGN EVIL BC OF CLAIRE LOVING HERSHEL LMAO T-T and the running into the river omfg

Working with don paolo has been fun

I DIDNT THINK LAYTON WOULD ACTUALLY CUT THE ROPE

Where did Layton learn all this about Clive??

Summary:

WHAT A PHENOMENAL GAME!!! Truly what a great “conclusion” to the main trilogy. You learn so much about Layton, Luke, flora, and many other characters like don paolo. The ending reveal of Clive was CRAZY. It really reminded me of movies like howls moving castle/the iron giant. I also just love how complex Clive is. He was driven to violence because of how the government treated him and his family, but he never truly wanted to hurt people. He was without any hope and thought mass destruction would finally bring some change to the government, but he also made sure to include Layton in his plans because he so desperately wanted someone to stop him. It’s tragic and terrorism definitely wasn’t the way to go but at least this is a fictional story and that death machine looked kinda sick Ngl. The story of Layton and Claire was also so tragic yet so healing. Layton could finally take off his hat without feeling grief, you never would’ve known he was hurting that much. I loved Claire, she seemed like such an amazing person and I’m glad Layton wasn’t swayed to try to bring her back, although he did falter when he had to say goodbye again. Although I highly enjoyed the game, I am slightly disappointed there was no actual evil Layton. How fun would a game with evil Layton be omg. The whole game constantly caught me by surprise, even by small scenes like Beasly and PUZZLETTE. I’m still a littel confused about the lab experiments with Gumbo and subject 3, I’m not quire sure why they added that plot (and have no resolution) but I liked Gumbo fine. My favorite coin animal will always be hot dog though. I cannot recommend this series enough, I am having the time of my life. I can also see how DGS was heavily inspired by these games and im so glad about it bc dgs was game changing. I can’t believe there was a 26 year wait in between UF and NWOS but im glad to be a Layton fan :’) so fucking glad!!!!

[bonebabbles]

wait im sorry. ive never read past the first book of dotc and all my knowledge of it really just comes from your blogs. wh. why did the erins decide to include sexual violence in warriors? like. that seems a little. too much? like all im hearing of dotc is just. terrible shit. i like reading more angst/serious stuff (i wanna say darker but not in the way "dark media" usually means on this site) but this feels like WAYYY to much for a book series meant for kids....... what were they thinking??

I legitimately do not understand what people like about DOTC. You can go back to where I started this re-read, and you can visibly watch my charitability drain as the project goes on.

It feels like literally everything that people say they like about this arc is not there, while they've completely forgotten or misremembered SERIOUSLY awful shit

And now, listen. I'm a huge fan of xenofiction, which is a genre that is full of kid's and teen's media, but I do love more adult fiction. I love nuanced themes, dark subjects, and complicated plots.

DOTC's message is just plain odious. None of what it sets out to say is worth saying, and it's borderline incompetent at even saying it to begin with.

What they want to say with Clear Sky and Slash is that Clear Sky isn't "evil." He's a "fundamentally good person," and all of his intentions were good, so he learned a valuable lesson from all the abuse and murder. To say this, they CONTRAST him to Slash, a REAL evil person, who just loves hurting kids and harassing women. Clear Sky is good because he is not "real evil" like this fake, cartoon caricature we just made up.

There was absolutely zero need for them to write Slash the way they did. They really want you to be distressed for Clear Sky as his wife is assaulted in front of him and hauled off while kicking and screaming, and they decided the best way to do that was pregnant woman pinning face licking. Sexual violence is an easy way to disgust and anger an audience, simple as that.

As a kid you may not realize how messed up it is (though the asks I get on this blog are a testament to how many kids did, but didn't have the words to express their discomfort) but as an adult with your critical thinking on? It hits different.

[heich0e]

hewwo liv i think you mentioned you read nonfiction so i was wondering if you had any recs? i'm trying to widen my repertoire a bit more and start reading more nonfiction (as much as i love fiction i think my brain has started regressing a little), but the only nonfic ive ever dipped into are my econ textbooks haha

also i hope you're having a good day !!!!!

HI GUY!! i think one of the best parts abt non-fiction is how nondescript that classification is, and consequently how enormous and diverse your options are within it. i think it's easy for people to generalize non-fiction as being boring retellings of fact or history, because most people's first introductions to non-fiction reading are academic. but in reality there are so many different types of nonfiction, and so many different styles of presenting it in writing. (for the sake of simplicity i'm gonna just limit this convo to narrative nonfiction, but if u wanna read something expository like a text book or instruction manual power to ya.)

my recommendation would be to start with something like a biography or memoir. to me, reading a really good biography doesn't feel very different from reading a novel. you're still following someone's story, they're just a real person and not a character. from where i'm sitting right now i can see trevor noah's biography 'born a crime' on my bookshelf, and i remember really loving that one the first time i read it. having been a fan of his comedy, his narrative voice felt authentic and familiar throughout the book. setting aside his demonstrated talent for storytelling, it's also just a very interesting look into life in south africa under apartheid, along with its lasting impact, and as a mixed race child, noah's personal perspective is extremely compelling.

(keep in mind, i read that book as someone who was already a fan of trevor noah's so i immediately had a personal connection/interest to the story. if you have any comedians/musicians/actors/artists you really enjoy, maybe see if they've done any writing—that could help find something you connect with! i also recently read david mitchell's 'unruly' and i really enjoyed that one too—but i find him funny, and like learning about the history of monarchies. 'crying in h mart' by michelle zauner is also great.)

true crime is another popular non-fiction genre that i find people have an easier time getting into. i'm not a huge true-crime reader myself, but i've read a few interesting ones! i tend to go for ones that are more local to me, so i won't necessarily give any recs for this one.

i also had a weird phase where i was reading a lot of books about boats and shipwrecks. not sure what that was about. i read walter lord's 'a night to remember' when i was like 10 and i think that really is what it can all be traced back to. 'the wager' by david grann was fantastic (he also wrote killers of the flower moon which was very good, and not about a boat) but i recognize this is a very niche area of interest that u probably do not care about.

i also really like essay collections!! they tend to sort of cross or blur a lot of lines when it comes to genres, because while some would consider 'essay collection' a genre in and of itself, the essays themselves usually as collected around a particular topic or theme. another added benefit of essay collections are u can kind of leisurely pick away at them, or jump around in the book, since you usually aren't beholden to reading them cover to cover and following a single narrative thread. less pressure!!

a couple other recommendations, though at this point i'm sure you've given up on me (fair):

'the patriarchs' by angela saini

'i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki' baek sahee

'persepolis' by marjane satrapi

ok i'll shut up now!! i don't even think this was helpful!! my advice to you would be to think about something you're already passionate about/interested in, and find a book about it!! or think about something you'd like to know more about or be better educated/informed on. it's out there i promise <3

[dejaroze]

Big fat rant about nothing, just me yapping about TOH’s ending under the cut🦟

Okay so obviously I have massive witterot but like it’s so severe like I’m so ill about 2 fictional dead guys and one has committed serval acts of genocide but HES HOT SO HEAR ME OUT

I wish we got more content regrading the trio ( Caleb,Philip, and Evelyn ) because all we got were the pictures in hollow mind, and even that wasn’t much. Like yeah, we know what happened, partially. And that’s only Philips POV too, so this part of the fandom is literally just living off of scraps

Call me crazy but, I think TOH would’ve been better if there wasn’t a happy ending. I am so tired of happy endings in shows, like if they’re executed well then I enjoy them, but if TOH was for a slightly older age group and didn’t end in sunshine and rainbows, I would’ve been so happy. Please let the villain win for once, that’s all I ask.

That’s not even me being biased about Belos and stuff, just genuinely, how did this man with centuries of experience get overthrown by a 15 year old girl who didn’t even have to do that much to earn it? Luz found out about glyphs like a week into the demon realm?! Excuse me?! Like I do sort of understand since Eda is a wild witch n all, she might’ve practiced this stuff before hand or May have books about it, but it’s clearly stated in s1 ep4 that she doesn’t know how witches used to do magic?

And even then that raises questions, did Belos completely erase the existence of glyphs from the public eye? Are there no books about this stuff? Did he just destroy all records of this stuff? And how did he do that? Was it before or after he became emperor? Because all we know is that he’s been in power for a little over 50 years out of the maybe 350-400 he tried to recruit people to his cause. How do people not question how this man stays alive?! We don’t know for sure how long witches live, and even if they do live that long in the sense they don’t questions Belos’s age, then wouldn’t some people from the 1600-1700s still be alive to call him out on his bs?

This is why if we had info on how long witches live, it would help plan the timeline out so much more.

Witches seem to age like humans do though, so I assume they would live 80 years on average like humans? Because Edas mom, depending on how old she was when she had Lilith, is actually the age most people would be when their kids are 40 or so.

ive had this in my head for awhile, I might be overanalyzing this quote but in s1 ep13, Principal Bump says “Only 300 years till retirement” but in the finale, 4 years later, he’s seen being retired. So maybe time runs differently in the demon realm? Or that quote could’ve been a joke, but still, that’s a thing.

Back to Luz’s magic development though, in the matter of like 2 months, she learned all 4 of the main glyphs meanwhile Philip learned them way later. Now yes, I know Philip did say “it’s almost as if the Titan wanted to keep them hidden from me.” BUT this raises another question!

Did Philip only start learning glyphs AFTER CALEBS DEATH? Because we know the Titan can look over the isles through the middle realm, and maybe he knew Philips intentions weren’t pure so he hid the glyphs, but also how does he still have the power to do that if he’s assumably been dead for thousands of years? I mean clearly it didn’t work, but it still hid them to some extent.

And when did Philip change his identity? We can assume it’s after he met the collector, but did the collector tell him to do all of that? HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN PLANNING THIS? Has he been planning this even before Caleb’s death? You would assume so.

My god this whole timeline is fucked

[yokakaiju]

doro modern(?) au

SPOILER WARNING + LONG POST BELOW CUT

i am so tired while writing this, so apologies if some of it doesnt make sense bleh.. i will happily answer any and all questions to the best of my ability tho!!

okay so ngl... it's really not that different from canon i think? i really don't know much abt my own damn au atm cause i mostly think of it during work and for some reason i literally NEVER write anything down?? idk why???

ALSO TO PREFACE!!! DESPITE HAVING READ DORO IN FULL ABT 4 TIMES NOW AND AM GOING ON A FULL YEAR OF HYPERFIXATION HERE SOON I HAVENT BRUSHED UP ON THE LAST 60-70 CHAPTERS IN A MINUTE SO SORRY IF I MAKE A STUPID MISTAKE!!!

this shit is all 100% subject to change later btw:

• genuinely just abt everything that took place in doro takes place in the past during this au, but not in the same way or with the same characters. ik some stuff 100% wouldnt make sense because of this, BUT BLEHH ILL FIGURE IT OUT LATERR!!! literally jist like.. remove everything involving aikawa and risu and replace it with violent social unrest or smth idk yet...

• ne way, this takes place 100 years after the kaiman holey fight, but in this au it wasnt our kaiman

• the sorcerer and human world have been permanately sealed off from each other since hole fight

• humans at this point dont necessarily believe sorcerers even exist anymore due to this, but the older generations (the few people who live to be like 80-100+) are still somewhat afraid of them and think that some may still be in hole (they are)

• abt hole and this is gonna need a lot of reworking, but like.. idk. basically some humans worship hole as a modern god, taking everything that happrned as absolute truth and churches sprung up around holey, worshiping large statues made of his bones and stuff. the statues do still work as they did in base doro, but they arent as widespread anymore? theyre way more popular with older people and thr newly religous folk, but most people see them as some sort of novelty at this point and they arent widely owned outside of churches and hospitals anymore

• the refuse lake also is back kinda? but its mostly a normal lake now, but the water is still extremely tar like in some parts so its still gated off

• in the socerer world, all information regarding humans and the hole have been banned from being spoken about or learned by the general public. personal doors are also prohibited to be used/learned to be used and anyone who CAN use them that uses them unsanctioned will face capitol punishment or smth. really only the devils and en family know abt hole and shit (theres more people of course, but these are details idk yet)

• n e way, in modern era nikaido and aikawa (sigh we will get to him last...) work together at the hungry bug still

• nikaidos story is literally almost exactly the same. she is still being pseudo hunted by the en family because they got word of a time traveling socerer like howveer long ago and are trying to hunt her down in secret (they dont know its her directly tho)

• kasukabe/haze is still just chillin tho. he is nearly unchanged, still wrote books on socerers (however they were written more historically for a while, then eventually he met haru and they became research/science based) snd took ai as an appretenice, but his work outside of human medicine is thought of as crackpot conspiricy talk or entirely fictional. him and haru are stil married/divorced, haru is also atill a devil and he still has a skin door to the sorcerer world

• ive had some ideas abt shin, mostly that his mom was killed alongside his dad after someone tipped off the  militia that there was somehow still sorcerers in the hole. they investigated their home for a bit and caught her using a door, so they raided the home and slaughted his family in front of him. from there shins story doesnt change much at all rn tbh

• the en family is still highly regarded and very opressive in the socerer world. they dont destroy schools anymore because duh no black powder, but they (with some devil influenece as well) heavily regulate what is taught. resistence against the en family, namely trying to learn about doors and hole, are cruely punished to show they arent fucking around, despite them still having acess to the hole and knowing (somewhat) the true events of what lead to them being separated

• i havent put much thought into the fate of the cross eyes in this au yet, but ive had some ideas? they arent the cross eyes (yet) but, they (our commanders + natsuki and risu) were low ranking memebers who are part of a resistance against the en family that attempts to fight their opression/censorship of history and some higher ups (not the commanders rn) are even trying to figure out how to make a door to the hole or smth

• this is abt all i have rn (im also super tired writing this ugh), so sigh... aikawa time i suppose... this part is gonna be long and confusing and 99% of everything ive talked abt so far was stemed from this, so heres a barely tldr tldr becase im probably making a seperate post when im not so tired. okay TLDR: ai was always disallusioned with being a human becauee his grandpa told him about sorcerers and magic and shit, so he fully bought into hazes entire catalouge of books taking thrm as gospel. eventually he meets haze and works under him, getting close enough to see some of his studies on sorcerer corpses. due to the corpses having smoke/black powder and were killed with hatred for their fellow sorcerers (they were killed by the en family), it starts to slowly affect ais young brain and the seed of a new hole have been planted blah blah, anyway he starts having horrific nightmares from the pov of hole from over a century ago and starts hearing shit cause hes already really mentally unwell. pretyu much from here it goes thr same as base doro for rn. he begs haze to help him become a sorcerer, he has all his plans snd shit tk make it work with the "fresh corpses" (either murders or bodies provided by haru) haze has access to, but haze refuses. ai just gets worse as time goes on, but him being a little emo freak he never actually vocalizes it, but as per cannon he decided to just force hazes hand. one night haze and ai were illegally hunting for potential relics of hole or the events surrounding that around the older parts of the refuse lake whrn ai ended up throwing himself into the tar. however instead of throwing himself in the refuse lake cause he needs a corpse he was compelled by hallucinations or smth to throw himself in. haze saves him and ends up doing the surgery om him blah blah literally its not that different from here, ai still "dies" and is buried he was also made of the 9(?) corpses so hes till got all his heads ans shit. when he rises this time tho instead of going to the sorcerer world he goes to haze again immediatly and begs him not to tell anyone. from here on haze hides him ot smth since he looks so different now no ones gonna recognize him or whatevs

this aint a fuckin tldr whoops. anyway uh.. ill make a seperate post abt aikawa/kai/EVERYONE ELSE IN THERE later cause i fell asleep twice writing that

please ask questions if you have any!! i will work on this more as time goes on i imagine and ill try to start actually writing ny ideas down now

[ode-to-fury]

There has to be something in the difference between people who have been engaging in fandom and fandom spaces online for a long time vs people who only recently found out that it's a thing (ie since the pandemic) because I do think those are the people who like actually cannot seperate fiction from reality for some reason like how I was acting with harry potter when i was like 9 except now they have access to tik tok instead of being relegated to pinterest screenshots of tumblr text posts and can actually engage much more directly with people who have different opinions than them and don't understand the etiquette or haven't learned it yet I don't really have anything specific to say about it but it is super interesting to see people engaging with their first fandom and the absolute cesspit that emerges from it as someone who missed the 2012-2014 superwholock thing on here and also the difference between a more anonymous place like tumblr vs tik tok where you sort of have to have your face visible at least slightly there has to be some correlation between people interacting with their first fandom and the recent discourse ive been seeing everywhere about how if you read fanfiction or books with even slightly more questionable things ie incest rape murder etc you're actually evil and should be burned at the stake as a favour to society liek i thought we'd moved past that? And i have a pretty curated internet sphere so the fact that I'm seeing stuff like that means its getting pretty intense

[random-cryptid]

*crashes in here* ok ik i havent been here in a bajillion years and i am so sorry for that and unloading a small novel on you dgkdgkh

but i had the dumbest thought. imagine tryna teach the sanderson's modern stuff. cuz i just saw a selfship post that said something along the lines of studying with your fo (fictional other. like a significant other, but its a fictional character instead of an actual human sgshdh) and now all i can think about is attempting to teach winnie, mary, and sarah all the stuff ive learned over the years

im not sure who'd find which subjects the most interesting. i dont have any art textbooks but i do have some notes from art history and waaayyy too many art supplies and i'd be happy to teach mary and sarah about art history and how to use some of the things i have (assuming i remember how to use thems). i think winnie would be fascinated by science! theres some branches of it like chemistry that feel a lot like magic, but i.... dont have access to things like that nor the smarts to even attempt to do chem (i do have access to vids so theres that at least), so it'd be hard to teach her that. i do have some anatomy and biology books that i think she'd like, and i have so many space books and i am dying to share them with all three of them holy dhit.

as for history, i think all three of them would be fascinated by it. theres been so many things that have happened since they died the first time around as well as so much that happened before they were born or happened when they were young but on the other side of the world.

plus, maybe some of what im talking to them about would help stick in my own brain easier so thats a bonus!

I am SO SORRY I'm answering this right now, but the past few weeks have been hectic to say the least 😭 I started Swedish clases lol.

Anyway YES I AGREE Mary but Sarah especially would be so interested in art methinks. Actually I believe Sarah is interested in fashion in some way (I hc that she made her own clothes and helped make Winnie's gown). And YES Winnie is so woman in STEM to me 😩 however I failed Chemistry every single year of high school lol BUT I was top of my class on Biology 😎 and actually think Sarah and Mary would be interested in Biology, although for different reasons (one for cooking and the other well... torture 😅).

OH YEAH HISTORY THAT'S SO FUN I think maybe they have an interest in different eras, Mary is definitely more of a contemporary girl (the way she picks up modern slang??? Scary). Winnie might be obsessed with the British Royal Family ngl 😭 I wonder what she'll think of Princess Diana. Now Sarah I'm not sure what she would enjoy from History 🤔 I mean ig fashion history or something idk 😭😭😭

ALSO ACTUALLY I REMEMBER WATCHING AN ALCHEMY VIDEO and it's pretty much Chemistry so. I think Mary would enjoy Chemistry too but maybe a different branch. Medicinal Chemistry perhaps? While Winnie is more of a Environmental Chemistry girl (since she literally can shoot lightning from her fingers I wouldn't be surprised she wanted to make a contraption to... Idk shoot fire as hot as the fucking sun)

[fictive-fodder]

|| Second Sight : V :September 25th, 1996||

Wizarding folk did not understand your work as a Specularri. Most with the gift of Sight failed to be as tenacious and diligent as the training required. But Seers who did were highly sought after by the bereaved, even the Ministry consulted you on mysterious deaths. The night of the new moon was usually ideal for your work, but when it coincided with the death of Sirius Black, nothing went as expected. Read this on A03 here!   

|| Word Count: 6.3K||

Warnings : Implied drug use

Story Chapters -

PART I - PART II- PART III - PART IV - PART V

||Author’s Note|| thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I have enjoyed writing it <3 Though many people love the world of Harry Potter, J K Rowling has been making problematic statements for a long time and I am glad to see people taking her most recent ignorance seriously, as the gross, transphobic, hate speech that it is. There is so much beloved content that contains problematic, dangerous or inappropriate elements. Or, the author sucks. If we don’t learn to accept the good content while learning to acknowledge, highlight, and stand against the problematic content, we are throwing away most of the creative stories in our world. And that’s a shame, I’d rather we reclaim it and make it better. So even though this is Harry Potter fan fiction, this story centers around a non binary reader. It is my hope that anyone feels like they can slip into this story, and be apart. I want to make space for all who are willing to salvage this story. Any trans folks and gender queer folks who are here, reading, as I ramble on- Hi. You are welcome here. Thanks for giving me your time. <3

|| Tag List|| @hogwarts-1d-drarry-stan  @srhxpci  @loonyclaris

Staggering, you fell against the stack of books Byron never managed to organize by his front door. They toppled down to the ground, the slaps of them hitting the tile echoed down the corridor of his home. “Byron!” you called feebly through the cottage.

“What the-“ you could hear Byron sleepily exclaim as he lit his wand. You leaned against the nearest wall as you heard Byron stumble into the end of the corridor from you. “What on earth happened?”

“It’s Padfoot.” your voice trembled. Byron closed the distance between the two of you, his hands coming to hold your shoulders. “It’s him, it *is* Sirius Black. Then I was at Grimmauld Place and- Remus still knew him, Byron, they’re still friends.”

“Oh sugar.” Byron cursed, pulling you into a hug. Your head against his chest, Byron cradled the back of your head with one of his hands, his thumb petting your hair as you shuddered against him.

“What am I supposed to do? What does that mean about the order? What are we going to do?” you cried against him. Byron hugged you tighter to his chest, rocking you slowly.

“First thing to do is get through tonight.” he hushed, “Do you think you can do that?”

You felt a fresh wave of hot tears meet your eyes. Your mind was racing to create fearsome possibilities of what could happen, even as you became distracted every few moments with how extremely tired you were. Already, it felt like Byron was holding up most of your weight.

“Tell me you can do that, love.” Byron cooed under his breath.

“I can do that.” you answered, face feeling hot with self consciousness. You had never been so open with Byron before, but his ease with comforting you was nearly worth the embarrassment.

“Too right.” Byron affirmed, leading you over to the sofa in his sitting room. “How about you close your eyes for a few minutes and think about where we met. Tell me what you remember.” he continued, leaving you to lay down as he opened the window behind you. The cold beach air spilled in from the window like an unfurling blanket. You shivered, pulling a nearby throw woven from thick wool over your shoulders. The low rumble of the ocean waves rolling close by slowed your breathing. Suddenly, your eyes felt so heavy.

“You were lost.” you sniffed, closing your eyes to force yourself to visualize it. Apulia. The Adriatic Sea the only thing separating you from what you wanted most. The intensity of the sun in that region, the homes carved from limestone, olive trees. The sound of the ocean, just like here.

“As you would never let me forget.” Byron mumbled, sitting on the edge of his coffee table beside you. You heard him rub his hands together, covering his fingertips in a balm that smelled like chamomile, marshmallow root, burdock, mug wort, and vanilla- grounded, earthy, sweet. Then, as he waited for you to continue, he pushed his fingers gently against your temple, up and down the front and back of your ear, against the nape of your neck.

“I can still see them-“ you whispered, frowning as you felt hot tears well up in your closed eyes. “The Halls, they won’t go away.”

“Why was I lost?” Byron asked softly.

“Because-“ you wheezed, surprised by yourself having the ability to cry and laugh at the same time, “-you had successfully scryed that the college existed, but you didn’t know where to go.”

“But you did.”

“I might scry well, but I never had your talent with potions.” you said, your body had began to feel heavy as Byron began to rub his fingers through your hair.

“Didn’t you get dreams, too?”

“Once we made it to Phocis, yea.”

“What of?”

“The X in the underground stone that marked the breath of the gods at Delphi…” you answered quietly. “I dreamt of King Croesus insisting that the Pythia give him council on a war, even though it wasn’t the right time to divine. The Pythia initially refused, but once the king threatened to destroy the Oracle, she went down into the caves, the very same we ended up studying in, and inhaled the gods’ breath. But the moon wasn’t where it should have been, and the gases too strong. The king found her, crazed and frantic, seeing things that were not there, before she was overcome by insanity and died.”

“… I forgot how pleasant your subconscious is.”

“Well—“ you yawned, “pleasant or not, it got us in to the college.”

“You never did explain how.”

“The dream was about timing. We needed to be there on the right moon, or we wouldn’t be welcomed.”

There was a long pause in conversation then, the ocean waves beyond the window continuing their deep, soft roar.

“I’m glad I came here.” you mumbled, tongue heavy with sleep.

-X-

Someone was holding you by your waist. Enormous, armored hands with fingers as long as your ribs, effortlessly pulling you up into what, you did not know. You could not tell if your eyes were closed, open, or if the surrounding world was black. There was only the sensation of metal closing around your sides, darkness, and echoing breath.

“Can see your-” the breath took shape into words, distant, metallic, as if spoken through a tin. And suddenly you noticed there was a deeper darkness before you, outlining the contour of a helm, the black within it limitless and gaping.

With a jolt of panic you realized this armored creature was holding you up, as if inspecting you.

“I can see-” it breathed again. You struggled to move to no avail. You felt fear unlike any you’d ever known, as you comprehended that this nightmare, this monster, had overpowered you. You could not move, you could not speak, even your capacity to understand what was happening, where you were, felt stunted, tampered with.

“Your wounds- shining beneath your armor.” it hissed, metallic tongued, your stomach turning as it lifted you higher.

“No!” you cried, desperate to rip yourself away.

“Good Godrick-” you heard Byron gasp, as your eyes opened to the view of his sunbathed sitting room. The scent of fried potatoes filled your nose as you turned to see Byron, hand over his heart, startled. “You can’t do that to me- all content and asleep one moment, shouting the next.” he wheezed, shaking a wooden spatula in your direction. “Damn near stopped my heart!” ”Sorry-” you replied, shoulders falling as you looked around his home and relief washed over you. “Was I asleep long?” ”Not three days long.” Byron smiled, hustling to bring you a cup of coffee. “Just overnight.”

“Oh.” you frowned, accepting the mug with a nod of appreciation.

“How do you feel?”

“Not… not that bad?” you answered, sounding as surprised as Byron looked. “Had another weird dream, though.”

“About the Perceforest thing?”

“I don’t know…” your frown deepened. The heat of your cup of coffee spread through your hands, warming them. It helped you feel like you could breathe. Glancing down, you noticed your coffee was in a chipped novelty mug that said “Byron’s Bed & Breakfast ~ Grieve in Peace.” You smiled as the little ocean waves illustrated along with a rendition of Byron’s home rolled in sync with the actual tide outside. You hadn’t known that he’d wanted to start an inn, or used to have one.

“So what, if not that?” Byron asked, darting back into the kitchen.

And then with a jolt you noticed you could see the cup through your fingertips. You nearly spilled the coffee as you hastily set the mug down and stared at your hands. Your eyes widened as you moved the tips of your translucent fingertips, stomach sinking. You didn’t understand what he was asking, the confusion further upsetting you. What was wrong with your hands? This had never happened before. You could feel your mind begin to race and forced yourself to stop. It was too much to think about. And it wasn’t that noticeable anyway. You couldn’t bear worrying about it right now. Besides, they didn’t hurt and they worked just fine.

“Hey?” Byron asked, reappearing with two mismatched bowls piled high with potatoes and eggs.

“Sorry- the coffee was so good I lost track of what we were talking about.” you lied, accepting the breakfast with raised eyebrows. “Wow, thank you.”

“What was weird about the dream?” Byron pressed, sitting beside you on the couch.

“There was a creature?” you started through a bite of egg. “It felt old, powerful… as if it was surprised I was there, but also like it had been waiting?”

“For what?”

“Some… one or thing… to arrive… or happen.”

“And when you say creature?”

“Big and strong… and in armor. It was so dark it was hard to see. But around it’s helm there was a crown made from Blackthorn branches.”

“Could you draw it?” Byron asked, setting down his half eaten bowl to reach for a quill and parchment.

“The armor?” you asked, accepting it.

“Yea.”

“Why?”

“Just curious. Go on.” he encouraged. Feebly, you did your best to capture the particular shapes you remembered, surprised to see just how intrigued Byron was to take the parchment from you and tuck it into his pocket. “Was there anything else?”

“It spoke to me. It said ‘I can see your wounds shining beneath your armor.’”

“Did it sound like the same sort of voice?”

You thought about it, recalling the first dream. And for you, who would reach this boundary, set foot on my threshold, to see the sun in the middle of the night, blazing with bright light, to approach me from below, from above, and worship me from nearby. You are saved from Perceforest this night. “It wasn’t dissimilar.”

“Have you run into anything or anyone else inside the Halls?”

Your stomach dropped as the light filled your memory. The odd cry of excitement as its brightness grew. “Nothing like that dream.” you answered, and then proceeded to detail everything about last night to Byron. He listened attentively, with growing concern behind his eyes despite his best attempts to show calm. After you finished, he took a long time to respond. Then, with a hard look at you, Byron slowly set down his bowl, leaned over, and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“I know it’s a lot, but you don’t have to do this.” you mumbled against his shoulder. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll make sure of it.” Byron replied low, sitting back. “I think we should let Solonie know everything.”

You fought to keep your expression neutral and receptive instead of the skeptical and defensive.

“I don’t think she’ll be upset.” Byron continued, running his fingers over his beard. “But I think she might know what could help and even if she doesn’t, there isn’t anyone with better resources to figure it out.”

“Help with what, though?” you asked, throat tight. You hid your hands beneath the wool blanket still over you. “What am I doing? Helping him? The crazy wizard who was strong enough to break free of Azkaban? You know, before he even remembered who he was he remembered Harry. He remembered needing to get to Harry.”

Byron’s frown deepened as he considered your concerns. “Solonie can give guidance on that, too. I mean, she’s been a Specularri longer than you’ve been alive. This can’t be her first instance of a morally ambiguous situation.”

“It’s just…” you started, feeling an itching agitation of just wishing you could know what you needed on your own. “You never heard of anything like this in Delphi, right? And neither have I. And if it wasn’t something to be learned there, than how does it exist? How does this whole… place exist? And why?”

“It’s not unreasonable to imagine that Dorea Black may have discovered something that the Specularris of Delphi didn’t know about.” Byron replied, shrugging gently. “They are steeped in Mediterranean traditions that go back before England was united as a country. Their focus was always on ancient wisdoms. Maybe their wealth of knowledge predates the Halls and whatever Perceforest is.”

You sat back, hugging your knees up to your chest. Everything Byron was saying made sense, but telling Solonie didn’t sit right with you. Why? Why did you feel so protective?

“We always think of magic as something still. Something cemented into history and never adapts. But what if it does? What if it evolves right along with us? And just as it shapes us, we shape it?” Byron mused, shrugging. The unease you felt only bit down harder as you considered his line of thought.

“Give me a moment.” you sighed, standing up and walking to the nearest toilet. You could hear Byron casting cleaning spells in the kitchen as you forced yourself to approach the sink. Your heart raced as you looked into your own reflection, wondering if you would hear Sirius Black’s voice calling out to you again. A pang of confusing pain shot through your nerves as you remembered how desperate he had sounded, how happy he was that he could still reach you. Growling, you rubbed your eyes, which were as irritated as ever after connecting to him, and forced yourself to look into the mirror. The Halls were still there, clear dark shapes in the periphery of the reflection, but nothing else. The sight, and the lack of him caused anger to rise in you, and shame, and betrayal. You grimaced at yourself in the mirror. Why were you upset that he wasn’t there? That was what you wanted. You didn’t want to keep helping him. You wanted him gone.

-X-

At first glance, the Ministry of Magic seemed unchanged despite all of the news. Voldemort may be back, but everyone was still coming into work, dressed in their business cloaks and talking Quidditch or whining about an inhumane deadline.You made your way, as was usual, to the Licensing Department, and just as always Pharien smiled as they saw you approach.

”Good morning!” They greeted with a touch of indulgent joy. You shot them a flat smile.

“Why do you always choose the earliest option to bring me in?” you greeted, taking the seat at the head of their desk.

“Do I?”

“Don’t play coy.” you groaned, rubbing your eyes with your gloved hands before you went to reach for all of your paperwork. The translucence to your fingertips hadn’t gone away. The Halls too, were still there every time you looked into something reflective, at this point you were just getting used to your eyes being irritated, light sensitive and dry.

“No no, I had a good reason this time.” Pharien promised, with a nod of thanks as they accepted the paperwork from you.

“This time?” you repeated, tilting your head. “So you admit you do this?”

“You see,” they started, leaning over their desk in a confidential gesture. “I have a friend that works for the Department of Mysteries. She’s an Unspeakable, right?” Pharien couldn’t help but give a victorious little smile as they saw your interest peak- Unspeakables were notoriously difficult to be familiar with, at least outright.

“How are you friends with an Unspeakable?”

“Wow, rude. I do have some very redeeming qualities.”

“Color me unconvinced. How are you friends with an Unspeakable?”

“Well, I guess whatever her job is there has something to do with your line of work, because she’s always asking about how being a Specularri works.”

“What do you tell her?”

“I told her I’d bring her a Specularri, one of the best.” Pharien waggled their eyebrows at you. “But they were busy. So you’ll have to do.”

You stood up then, looking at Pharien with a flat glare.

“Right, so we’re going! Yes! Off to the department of mysteries!”

-X-

You had never been so deep in the Ministry of Magic before. It felt like being back in the caves at Delphi- something about the human body could feel when it was being led deep beneath ground, even when it was as polished as a government office. Pharien nodded to the wix standing guard outside the office door, who regarded the two of you skeptically.

Immediately you felt self conscious, but your curiosity to see the inside of the department of mysteries overpowered your anxieties.

“Fortiger asked me to bring a specialist for something she’s working on.” Pharien explained to the guard. They nodded, waving their hand before the door that they guarded. You heard several locks releasing before the guard ushered you inside.

“Well-“ you started, looking over your shoulder to Pharien. “I expect my license to be processed first thing! And you’re welcome for all this!” You called out, before the guard closed the door on Pharien’s face.

You heard a low, silky voice say your name from the heart of the room. Turning to look, your eyes fell upon a tall, willowy woman, with platinum colored hair that shaggily fell to her shoulders. She regarded you with squinting upturned eyes, so blue they nearly looked violet in this light. The wide line of her mouth curled upwards in a grin as their eyes traced your features.

“Hello,” you started, reaching out your gloved hand towards her for a shake. “It’s a pleasure. Fortiger, right?”

“Yes.” She replied, her handshake was firm, rigid, and brief. With a bow of her head, Fortiger continued introducing herself as she led you down a corridor. “Gentian Fortiger. Thank you for accommodating this request into your schedule. I am sure you’re very busy in your capacity as a Specularri.”

“Well I never thought it would lead me to an invitation here.” you answered with a chuckle. “What is it that I can do for you, Gentian?”

She smiled, continuing to lead down a set of stairs, deeper into the earth. You felt the temperature drop with each step downward. “Working as an Unspeakable has many challenges- nuances, that can make our work seem ambiguous, even superfluous. As a Specularri, I imagine that resonates with you?”

“That attitude is often extended to divination as a whole, yea.” You pushed your arms closer to your side as the staircase finally opened up into a wide corridor. As your eyes adjusted to the torches that flared to life at your presence, you had to withhold a gasp. The walls had lost their black lacquered tiles, and were instead a much older carved stone. The corridor tapered upwards to a high ceiling, with multiple columns supporting the sweeping, medieval architecture. It looked just like it. The Halls.

Gentian exchanged a glance with you, leading you down the hallway to an ancient looking wooden door.

“It’s musty down here- old.” Gentian remarked quietly, in the same way people lower their voices while looking at great art. There was a reverence in her tone, an understanding that in this deep and old place, there was the remnant of something artful, something precious. That it only still existed through generations of great care.

With a flourish of her wand, the door groaned open, revealing a large auditorium with a raised Dias in the center. You could easily sense an ancient, sacred quality to this place, but there were also signs of a more recent disturbance; chipped stones on the floor leading down towards the center, the few items in the room were haphazardly moved to one side, as if it had been cleaned recently but not reorganized.

This time, you were not able to hide your gasp as your eyes fell to the center of the room. A black veil raised on the Dias, billowing softly in a non existent wind. Your heart skipped several beats, throbbing thickly in your chest as you heard indiscernible whispers emit from it, just like the ones you heard in the Halls.

The weight of Gentian’s eyes studying you only exacerbated the Veil’s affect on you. The hair on the back of your neck and arms rose, and as you approached the itching in your eyes became profoundly worse, causing them to water.

“This is one of the two most ancient relics of our country.” Gentian gestured to the Veil. “This, and the pensive located at Hogwarts predate Hogwarts itself- the ministry, too. They are part of an ancient magic that was the foundation of what we use today.”

Slowly, as if in a dream, you reached your hand outward, but before it could even land on the lip of the Dias, Gentian’s hand caught yours in mid air, gently squeezing it as they shook their head. “I can’t allow you to get any closer than this.”

“So, the pensive and this? What does that mean this Veil is? Do you know?”

“That is why you’re here.”

You blinked, eyes shifting between the Veil and Gentian’s smiling eyes.

“There was a… disturbance, not that long ago.”

“Oh?”

She nodded, her face paling as she glanced at the Veil as if regarding a sinister entity. “The Veil has never in recent history been recorded to do anything other than what you see now. But since that disturbance, there have been periods of heightened activity.”

“Right, okay. And you wanted a Specularri because you think it has to do with the dead?”

“The dead have not changed from my understanding, they are still dead. I do not think they are the reason the Veil has been irregularly active.”

“What does active mean? And if not the dead- why would you want someone like me?”

Gentian sighed then, running their long fingers through their hair. “Occasionally, this artifact will become more active as the black cloth changes from moving gently to full on billowing as if in a non existent storm. Additionally, the whispering that you may, or may not be able to hear becomes very audible, the voices- if we should call it that- are raised, sometimes to the point of shouting, while still remaining indiscernible.”

“That sounds unpleasant.”

“Very much so.” Gentian chuckled, clearly appreciating the lightness of your response.

You waited for Gentian to answer your second question, struggling to pull your focus away from the Veil. You wanted to touch it so badly.

“I’d like, if you’re willing, for you to try your art on the Veil itself.” Gentian said, voice softer. “I don’t mean scrying necessarily, but whatever divinatory application you think might best serve me.”

You could feel your heart beating thickly in your temple, trying to seem politely curious and professional instead of the burning, crazed fascination you truly felt. You did your best attempt at a casual nod of consideration. It was like she was just giving it to you- all the access you could want with this thing.

“Do you hear the whispers?” She asked, glancing at the Veil.

“Yes.” You said, straining to sound normal.

-X-

It was never going to feel great, you had to remind yourself, telling Solonie about Sirius Black was never going to feel convenient, or easy, or calm. You were just going to have to do it stressed and anxious.

She looked at you from across her scrying table, eyes full of patient concern. The grace of this woman, while sometimes stern, was an unending source of value to you. Not many people could say they have fair and genuinely compassionate superiors, but Solonie was. You tried to remind yourself of that while you forced yourself to look into her face, wrinkles embroidering her gentle smile with calm.

“Hi.” She started playfully, and you could hear yourself gulp. You wondered with an abstract self consciousness if she heard it. If she knew how worried you were to tell her everything. How had Byron convinced you of this?

Calling you back to return to the present moment, Solonie said your name, reaching over to gently touch her hand to yours.

“Right…” you sighed, giving her a tight smile. “So, the new moon a few months ago.” You glanced up to the ceiling as chills went through your body. It was just a conversation, but somehow it felt like you wouldn’t survive it.

“Yes?” Solonie encouraged supportively.

“Well.” you breathed, and breathed again. Even if she wasn’t going to lose patience with you, you were. A flash of self annoyance lit up within you. Stop thinking. Just talk, you thought. “I encountered an anomaly. I experienced something that I never have before, and I’ve never read about, was taught about, anything.” ”Alright.” Solonie responded, head tilting. There was a trace of concern in her eyes, and even though that was embarrassing, you supposed you couldn’t be surprised. You had never been so emotional in front of her.

“Someth- someone, found me. From inside the mirror. And they were different, too. They felt alive. Reactive. Able to interact with the scrying materials… nearly able to see me, too.” Though Solonie’s face remained professional and stoic, her cheeks paled. You nodded, sighing again.

“I am guessing that means you’ve never experienced that before?” you asked.

“Nothing like that. Not ever.”

“So naturally, I was alarmed because it seemed like this person was trapped.”

“But where?”

You laughed, nodding gravely. “Where indeed.” you replied dryly. “I’ve managed to keep in contact, I’ve found ways to further explore this place, but I can’t understand how to get them… out.”

This admission cast you and Solonie in to a long moment of quiet. Her stoic expression flickered as she focused on the details you’d given. ”So tell me what you know of this place?”

“It’s a series of Halls. A light less place made up from cut stone- it looks medieval. It’s endless seeming. I found someone- not a Specularri, but someone who practices and they believe that this place is some kind of sacred space discovered by their teacher, the late Dorea Black.”

To this, one of Solonie’s eyebrows arched. Her expression sharpened wearily. “That so? Is that why you’ve been looking less and less yourself in the recent weeks?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, chest tightening with defensiveness.

“That you’ve been working away from this office more than ever. That you’ve managed to look sick every time I’ve seen you for the past nine weeks. What did this person tell you to do? Or give you?”

“Solonie-” you started, shaking your head.

“You can be offended. What did they give you?”

“They sell candles-” you started, voice hard. Why were you being so protective of Asterius? It was true, that candles were horrible. You would have reacted the same way if you’d seen Byron resorting to their use.

“Well what is in them?”

You blinked, and that reaction seemed all Solonie needed to condemn it. She groaned your name. “If you’re going to experiment with fringe practices, you need to be aware of what you’re using.”

You opened your mouth to retaliate to whatever criticism she might say, refute whatever harsh words may come, and blinked as you registered that she wasn’t severe at all. In fact, she was being very reasonable.

“So you’re not…” you started, “reporting me? Or, restricting my clients or I don’t know… punishing me?”

Solonie blinked back at you, her own flatness dwarfing your own sardonic sensibilities. “I’d sooner seek to punish whoever put that poor person wherever he is. But we do need to come up with a structure for you. It’s necessary that we help, but it is unwise to go into something so mysterious without fail safes. Now-” she turned to look at a moon calendar and ran her finger along until it rested against the next new moon. “The first thing you need to do is go back to wherever you got those candles and make sure you know whats in them. Then you can tell Byron and I, and we will look into the potion structure and see what are it’s risks, what makes it work, or fail. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is something we can alter that lowers it’s side effects. Or something we can make or use before and after hand to aid you.”

“Wait.” you started, eyes widening. “You’re not… I mean, you’re going to help? Me? You’re going to help me do this? Help him?”

“Of course.” Solonie replied, her eyes hard, as if it was insulting to assume otherwise. You felt tears rise in your eyes, a rush of pressure into your head. “What?” she exclaimed, only looking more offended.

“Sorry-” you tried to compose yourself, “I just didn’t think-”

“Yes. Not usually a problem with you. But I suppose we all have our moments.” Settling into her chair, she continued. “The next new moon is in October, will that give you enough time to source the materials of these candles?”

You started to say yes, but before you could say anything more, a soft knock sounded against her door. Aurelia apologized as she pushed in, eyes flickering nervously between the two of you.

“Yes?” Solonie asked. You were surprised when Aurelia’s focus shifted to you.

“Sorry,” she started, “There is someone in your office. Demanding to see you.”

“Oh-” you started, standing up slowly and glancing back towards Solonie for dismissal.

“I think we have a good start, go on.” she said, nodding.

As you walked down the hall towards your office, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of victory and dread. Byron had been right, Solonie was willing to help. Never would you have imagined that the conversation would have gone the way it had. Pushing into your office, you shook your head. What now? You hadn’t had the chance, or made your mind up, about telling Solonie who it was you had been trying to save. You hadn’t even made your mind up if you were going to continue to try and help Sirius. But- you thought with a grimace, how could you not?

As your office door closed behind you, you gasped sharply as your eyes landed on Remus Lupin, sitting at your table with a cadaverous pallor.

“I’ve been looking for you, everywhere. Both of us, Tonks and I.” he sighed in relief and stood up. Your eyes traced his path, breath turning shallow as you looked up into his face, your hand slowly reaching for your wand. His glance darted towards your hand and he shook his head.

“No. No, no-” he said low, holding one hand up in a gesture of surrender as the other withdrew his wand from his robes and placed it on your table. “I came here to apologize. For scaring you, for how everything happened.”

You snarled, your skin suddenly hot with a mix of embarrassment, anger, disappointment. “How what happened?” you seethed, teeth tight. “How you made a fool of Byron and I? How you tricked us into thinking that your Order was for something good? I ought to expose it all right now. I ought to march up to the Auror’s office, find whatever officer Alastor hates the most, and tell them the address of that horrible place-”

Remus’ eyes suddenly brightened, widening with vulnerability and alarm. You could see the pain in his expression deepen with your words, a frantic and desperate line to his mouth. His other hand drew upwards, until this tall, sullen soldier of a wizard was all but bowed before you, listening to you with increasing fear in his eyes. It satisfied you, it made you feel like there was still some part of your life that was not larger than yourself.

“Please.” he asked, his tone wavered. “Please allow me to show you just one, one thing- and then I will leave you alone. I just want you to understand one thing.”

The satisfaction you felt was immediately tempered by a sting of guilt as you watched how quickly this man came to begging. It scared you, the extremeness of your own emotions, of his- this entire situation. You shook your head lightly, trying to recenter yourself, trying to ground yourself.

“What is it.” you asked, voice hard and guarded.

Slowly reaching into a pocket of his robes, Remus pulled out a very wrinkled copy of The Daily Prophet. You blinked, having expected something stranger, wilder, not something as mundane as the paper. Your eyes traced the front as you recognized the issue. June 18th, 1996 HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED RETURNS.

“Everyone saw this.” Remus gestured to the headline, before his fingers slipped to the inside pages, there was a well thumbed corner you noticed, he hardly had to glance as he turned the page. “But not…” he started, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

Sirius Black: The Truth Emerges

Long regarded as a dangerous fugitive, Sirius Black lost his life last night in the Department of Mysteries. Recent revelations confirm that Black was not responsible for the deaths of James and Lily Potter and was never a dark wizard. Instead, he fought against He Who Must Not Be Named’s followers, sacrificing himself in the struggle against the Dark Lord's return. Black has been granted pardon posthumously by the Minister of Magic for all accusations made against him.

You were unable to focus on the words. Each letter a strange symbol- chaos, unreal. You had been holding your breath and shaking your head long before you realized you were. Before you realized that you were still in your office with Remus Lupin. Before you were able to finally register that he was innocent. Sirius Black was innocent.

Unable to find words, you looked back up into Remus Lupin’s face and found it wet with tears. He was trying to stop himself from crying, his shoulders jerking slightly with the effort. Whatever he saw in your face seemed to only make it harder for him.

“The last time I saw you,” he started, “And I heard you say ‘Padfoot’, I-” he made a sound between a sigh and a sob, trying to clear his throat as he wiped his hand down his face. “I didn’t, I couldn’t control my emotions. I didn’t think of what it would seem like to you, and for that I will- I’ll regret that my life over.”

Remus took a step towards you, that same pleading expression on his face. “You may never trust me again, and wish to never set foot in another Order meeting. I would understand. I would never again trouble you. I would erase any mark myself or the Order left on your life. But-” his voice wavered. Remus came closer, eyes red and bright with hot tears. “If there is anything I can do so that you will help him, even if that means accomplishing such without ever reminding you of my existence again, I would… I would move mountains. Reorder the stars. Nothing you asked of me would be too great a cost. You would never hear any form of refusal. I would offer my life.”

A shiver ran through you, and you jumped as you felt a tear drop from your lash and hit your own cheek. The air surrounding you pressed close, bent, magnifying Remus’ anguish. But before you could think of what to say, the door to your office slammed open from behind you.

With a yip of terror, you pivoted, Remus was just as shocked as Byron pushed into the room.

“YOU’VE GOT SOME NERVE, LUPIN!” Byron roared, one of his huge arms coiling around you and pulling you closer to him, as his other hand pointed his wand at Remus’ chest. “YOU DIDN’T THINK I WAS WATCHING? THAT I WOULDN’T BE HERE?” ”Byron-” you gasped, choking on your breath.

Remus looked into Byron’s yelling face with eyes as big as saucers. Hands raised into the air, he quickly resumed his gesture of compliance. “I-”

“WHAT?” Byron growled, as you tried to gently disentangle yourself from him. “YOU WHAT? YOU’RE SORRY? YOU THINK THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH? YOU THINK THAT WE-”

“BYRON!” you shouted, struggling to speak over him. You placed both of your gloved hands over his wand arm, lowering it. He jumped, looking between you and Remus with brows bent into a knot of confusion. “You’ve missed a very convincing apology and redemption.”

Leaning over, you grabbed the copy of the Prophet off of the table and showed Byron the small passage about Sirius. As he read, you watched as the furious twist of Byron’s expressions slowly undid themselves.

“Oh.” he said, cheeks reddening as he tucked his wand away.

“That’s more than I managed to say.” you shrugged, glancing at Remus. “Are you alright?”

Remus, white faced, didn’t look like he entirely knew how to respond to you and gave something between a shrug and a thumbs up.

“Right, so…” you sighed, glancing from Byron and then back to Remus. You turned towards him, face set. “You were telling me that you would do anything I needed. To get him back.”

“Anything.” Remus said.

Your mind was blaring with too many thoughts, from exhaustion. You felt Byron’s large hand move to rest on your shoulder and took a large breath. “The candles…” you thought aloud.

“Yes?” Remus said, perking up.

“I need- he works at The Coffin House. His name is Asterius. I need you to bring him-”

“Not here.” Byron interjected softly. “Being Ministry run and all.”

“Right. I need you to bring him to my flat. Yea… bring him to my flat.”

Sirius, you thought as a lash of pain tore through your chest. I’m sorry. I’m coming back.

“Asterius… Darnant?” Remus asked, frowning softly.

“You know him?” Byron asked.

“Vaguely. He was mates with Regulus Black, Sirius’ little brother… I’d see them at school.” Remus raised his eyebrows, as if appraising some passing thought. “He isn’t the most straightforward person. He might not be happy to… comply.”

“He has what I need to do this and understand it more.” you added, a new determination in your tone.

“Then he will come to your flat.” Remus answered, picking his wand back up from the table.

You felt your heart lurch. “Remus-” you started, taking a step towards him. “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for how everything has gone. For what you’ve lost.”

“What I’ve lost?” Remus repeated, giving you a soft smile. He looked exhausted. Remus shook his head. “Not many get the privilege to say they’ve found it again.”

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

babe, give me some tips on how to read non-fiction (I am trying to be an adult lol). Ive been trying to read newspapers, editorials, non-fiction books etc, but it's like, my brain barely remembers anything I've read so far. Like I'd be reading a full page and I won't remember shit. Pls help.

this is a delulu porn blog, you think I'm interested in real life???? XD

Being serious, I have a scientific background so that's what I'm mostly paying attention to. Consuming information without a clear purpose or natural curiosity won't be effective. You have to want to know. Connect and apply your readings to your everyday life. Also, for the record, you can be an adult and not constantly read non-fiction.

One can't read non-fiction blindly, because every author - even in scientific articles - is biased and trying to convince you of something. Even news that is supposed to be "reporting" use techniques to sensationalize and push a specific agenda. When you read fiction, you can just believe in the world created, but non-fiction requires critical thinking and constant analysis. You should question the author and the information presented to you (how and why). Accept what facts you agree with but have reasons for it. Even science and history has gray areas. Learning new techniques requires also knowing why they're effective or useful.

Regard the world around you with a curious lens. Nothing is ever black and white. The truth is relative to who is speaking it. Figure out where you want your knowledge to take you and go from there.

You don't need to know everything to be an adult. You can't, realistically. If anything, having the open mindedness and curiosity of a child is more beneficial, because then you'll never be caged in thinking you know everything. You can also educate yourself by surrounding yourself with experts in the fields you're interested in. Who says you gotta read? Have insightful conversations with those who know better. Someone always knows more than you and sharing information orally is much more fun than on a page.

or you can be like me and have sex first and ask questions later

be responsible and don't be like me

[killingsboys]

hi! ive been around for awhile now but never said hi to u off anon jdkdmdjd

how are you?

okay question, how do you read so many books? i used to be a bookworm in middle school but then high school and depression happened and i lost the ability to focus. im adhd so its not surprising but none of the tricks people recommend works for my brain. i sit down to read and after two words im like "okay nevermind."

i really like audio books but i miss actually Reading the words myself you know? there is a difference between them for sure and i also notice i remember the new words and phrases better when im actually reading them instead of just hearing them.

you read a lot so i thought maybe any advice you have might help me? its worth a shot to ask jfkdkdjd no pressure tho. <3

omg hi!!🫶🏻 i'm good, how are you? <33

i was exactly the same! couldn't stop reading in elementary & middle school, then high school completely destroyed my love of reading & learning. it's honestly taken me years to get back to being an avid read and to enjoying it </3

i'm lucky to have a lot of free time. i also have a lot of sleeping problems & end up unable to sleep around 2am most nights, so i get a lot of reading done from like 9pm-2am. it's not ideal to my sleeping schedule and i definitely don't recommend it, that's just one of the ways that i end up reading so much.

i think cossette @hollyfhumberstone has a phenomenal post here about tips for reading more that i definitely refer to when i find myself in a reading slump!

for me, it really helps to set a daily goal for reading. i use the finch app and every day i set goals to read at least one chapter of whatever it is that i'm reading. there is no punishment for missing a goal, but there are rewards for accomplishing them, and that helps me! like right now, i'm reading wuthering heights, which i've put off reading forever because it intimidates me. so i set a goal of just reading one chapter a day so i can get through it. sometimes i'll read two chapters a day, especially if they're short, but it's easier to get my brain to do it because i've taken the pressure off myself, if that makes sense! a lot of my reading is really about tricking my brain into letting me do it tbh.

i also let myself take breaks between chapters, even when i'm sitting down to read for a few hours! if i finish a chapter and i want to check social media or play solitaire on my phone for a second or get a snack or something, i just do it. i know some people really try not to look away from their book for certain amounts of time, but that doesn't work for me because then i'll be looking at the words but i'll just be thinking about doing something else the entire time.

one of my favorite things to do is talk about the books i'm reading, so that helps me, too! i talk to my dad and my friends about books, which always hypes me up to read more. if you ever wanna talk about books with me, my DMs and asks are always open! i literally just LOVE talking books, even if i haven't read them yet!

setting reading goals works for me too, but i tend to set running goals instead of definitive goals. like, i'll set my goodreads goal for x number of books each year, but the rest of my goals are not numerical. they're more like "read more diversely," "read more classics," "read more science fiction," "read more fantasy," "read more historical fiction," and "read more nonfiction." (those are my goals for 2024 btw). that way i'm not chasing a number, i'm just broadening my horizons!

what has really helped me the last couple of years was finding genres i enjoyed and getting really into them. i discovered i like mystery, thriller, and horror books a lot more than other genres, so that's most of what i've been reading! i still run into books i don't like, and i still branch out and find some incredible books in other genres, but i'm done forcing myself to read what's popular just for the sake of it.

oooh and another thing i do when i can't get myself interested in a new book is to reread an old favorite. i reread the hunger games pretty much every year when i find myself in a reading slump, because i know that series will keep me interested no matter how many times i've read it. annotating old favorites also works for me! i annotated thg this year, the raven cycle last year, and i think next year i will try annotating lord of the rings!

i hope this helps! i wish i could give you some better advice </3 if you have any other questions, please let me know!! 🫶🏻

[everlastingfable]

(sorry if ive asked this before but) who exactly is smeaton? what do you like so much abt him?

omg thank you spoon I will go nuts 💖

so I briefly talked about who mark smeaton is here but basically he was a bard in 1530s england who confessed to adultery with the queen and got himself, the queen, and four other lords executed

as for why I like him, it's probably mostly because I'm not able to get enough information to satisfy my curiosity. he's an enigma. mark smeaton was a real living being. there's real facts about him, things he said, done, made, etc. but also he was a commoner so there's also so much about him that isn't known and probably will never be known because he wasn't important enough to make note of. like, aside from he's a "very handsome young man" and "one of the prettiest monochord players" I legitimately cannot find any description of what he looked like. not even his hair color

he's a bard. he could dance, play the lute, monochord, and many other medieval instruments I don't remember the name of. but while we have king henry viii's songs and poetry, we have absolutely nothing of mark's. well actually that's not entirely true, there is this sheet music that might've been mark's that he wrote for anne boleyn. the handwriting matches apparently? but it's not for certain

what was he like? the information we do have about him is from comments made by the lords etc that didn't like him. he was said to be arrogant which makes sense if he was getting a lot of attention from the royals, but how much is that actual arrogance and how much of it is lords and ladies getting pissed that he's trying to act like he's one of them and speak to them as equals? paper was expensive so it's very likely he never wrote down prose or poetry where we can know what he thought. we have nothing about what he thought everything we have is from other people's writings

there are times where I learn things about him and it makes me doubt if mark was ever a real person at all. how could someone so influential be so forgotten? he rarely gets mentioned in tudor history and when he does it's as one of the five men who were executed. the biggest mystery about him is how he was spending like two or three times his yearly salary. where was he getting the money? was he really receiving that much in bonuses from the king and queen? was he doing "favors" and getting extra money that way? we don't know! the accounting books for the five year time period he was employed at court were destroyed/lost (I am frothing at the mouth)

did you know queen mary (henry's first daughter) tried to start a rumor that queen elizabeth (yes that queen elizabeth and henry's second daughter) was actually the daughter of anne boleyn and mark smeaton? the way how he is both so involved and yet nonexistent drives me insane. I have so many questions about him and when I try to find answers I just end up with so many more questions. I know I could probably just make headcanons like I do with my fav fictional characters but mark was a real person. there's actually right and wrong answers but I don't know what they are! I need to time travel so I can study him like a bug I'm not kidding

and there's also the chance that my obsession with joey batey projected onto mark smeaton (he played him in the wolf hall/bring up the bodies stage play) who is depicted as such a little shit and sopping wet kitten in the books there's no way I wouldn't love him. like

(the cut off word was "tears") he's so pathetic I love him so much. he's the ultimate side character who I wish was in the story more because he'd actually be a really really good foil to thomas cromwell. they're both commoners who tried to social climb in henry's court, and cromwell was the one who basically set everything up and used mark to bring down anne boleyn and her circle. I didn't get a screenshot of this but in bring up the bodies someone asked cromwell why mark and he responded "I didn't like the way he looked at me" just that sentence and how well it shows that cromwell thinks of mark like he's a pesky fly I am so

there's also the fact that I cannot for the life of me find a recording of wolf hall and I know it's really unlikely that I'll ever find one because it's not a musical so this itch will never get satisfied. why don't you just watch the tv shows? because 1) it's not joey playing mark and 2) based on the gifs I've seen he's not pathetic enough he's too suave and charming

it's honestly just this inability to find enough information to satisfy me that's riling me up all the time. did you know in the wolf hall/bring up the bodies script book joey is the first one credited? I know it's because he's first alphabetically but man does it feel like salt in a wound when photos I can find of him in the play are like this

[spookfished]

kades big media roundup (august)

hiii! like i said in my last post i spent a big portion of august being sick :| which involved spending like a Lot of the time sitting around playing pikmin 4, going "oh i think im thinking so hard about pikmin that its making me more tired?" and then playing more pikmin anyways. i 100%d this game guys it was so serious

books/comics/written media: paladins strength by ursula vernon: this is part of the saints of iron series, but i dont think context from the other books is really needed! romantasy/murder mystery about a nun and a paladin travelling together to the city by chance… they both have their own agendas but something draws them together 0///0 i found this really fun!! may have too much blood and guts for a pure romance fan but its very sort of pragmatic and down to earth in that ursula vernon way. nice dynamic between the leads, had a delightfully creepy (and sad!) antagonist and wrapped up threads from the previous book very nicely. would recommend 👍

in other words by jhumpa lahiri: semi autobiographical literary fiction about a (pulitzer winning) author who decides to move to italy and start writing exclusively in italian. (its translated!) hmmm as someone who also really loves languages but also doesnt really have the resources or desire to do something like. move to a different country (i mean maybe!) and only speak and write in that language from now on (probably not), it was a really interesting perspective. i was sort of put off by her attitude towards bengali but the whole "triangle of languages" theory makes sense… the writer is very straightforward and honest feeling in a way thats almost irritating sometimes but i think thats how a lot of artists are. and the concept alone is still very interesting.. lol anyways its a very short read so id still recommend 👍

the twisted ones by ursula vernon: horror. a woman is tasked with cleaning out her late hoarder grandmothers' house, located in rural north carolina. this was ursula vernons first horror book, i think! i was a little disappointed bc this wasnt very scary, exactly--but i feel like ive also been learning that even if i startle easily, my horror threshhold is actually very high……? i ended up liking what moves the dead more (it was scarier!) but this still had a fun cast of characters. still worth a read though :3 i enjoyed it

dungeon meshi by ryoko kui(catchup): manga about a group of adventurers looking for their lost friend. stuck in the dungeon for months on end, they resort to eating monsters! ohhhhh my god drags down myface dungeon meshi is literally one of the best manga out there and im glad everyone recognizes this. its about desire and need and the way unfulfilled desires is what propels our lives forward and gives them meaning and also how its SUPER IMPORTANT TO GET 3 NUTRITIOUS MEALS AND SLEEP 8 HOURS and all that. lol. phenomenal art i cant help but think that ryoko kui draws women as only a lesbian can..? highly recommend 👍

witch hat atelier by kamome shirahama(catchup): coming of age/fantasy manga--a girl discovers the secret behind the magic that powers her world. she's determined to use it to save her mother, but it may bring a heavy price--or maybe not at all…? like vita nostra (which i read last month!), this is also a book about learning magic that focuses heavily on pedagogy itself (which in this case is also a direct parallel to learning about art/drawing!). however, unlike vita nostra the characters are more like 10-11, and so it also takes a much more gentle and compassionate approach to how we should learn. but it also tackles some really interesting themes about restriction of information, and if said info should be restricted and why! and sort of digging deeper into the idea of "a secret hidden from the normal world". the art is soooo gorgeous i think its all done by hand? looks like a picture book can honestly get a bit overwhelming. highly recommend 👍

bloom into you: f/f manga about a girl who has never fallen in love, and a girl who never wants to be loved. bloom into you is one of those Yuri Classics that i enjoyed a lot as someone who has complicated feelings about romance :3 theres that really interesting quote thats like "love isnt about wanting someone to change or stay the same. when i say 'i love you,' its an expression of faith that even as you change, youll always be the person i adore"….. very interesting! also the sort of idea that you cant 'no true scotsman' love--you can just decide that you love someone, and then you do? kind of? anyways i thought it was pretty interesting :3

beastars: coming of age manga, set in a world kinda like zootopia but if someone thought about it way more. legosi, a large grey wolf struggles with distinguishing between his carnal desires and his, uh, carnivorous desires. ok EYE really liked it but also i think it handles a lot of themes really weirdly… maybe this is because legosi is just really fucking weird (this is definitely part of it) but in many ways beastars portrays the split between men and women as being even more uncrossable than the split between herbivores and carnivores.. which to me was surprising since the manga itself is written by a woman? definitely look up a TW list if youre planning on reading lol. it definitely has some of the best "what if animals lol" worldbuilding out there. i had louis/legosi/haru ot3 in my heart the whole way through LOL but i, uh, dont really think legosi and haru work as a couple just by themselves .. also the gaybait in here is crazy. i think past the midway or maybe 3/4 point it kinda starts to lose focus, but it still had a lot of compelling drama. yayyy louis beastars i think more theater kids should go through unbelievable self-inflicted pain

beast complex: anthology about the surrounding stories of the ppl of beastars. SO fun many people agree that the best part of beastars was the worldbuilding and this was basically all that. very fun :3

surviving romance: horror/adventure? chaerin wants nothing more than to live her fated fairy-tale life--so much so that people other than her love interest appear as nothing more than extras. one day ZOMBIES ATTACK!!!!11! very fun :33 maybe this is just me but is meta stuff getting more popular because of orv…? its not doing it as well ngl but still entertaining. chaerin trying to gain the trust of ppl that she originally didnt gaf about is fun

video games: pikmin 4: pikmin 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a game about being 1 inch tall and controlling your hordes of small creatures (pikmin) to gather things like fruits. i think i bought this when i was sick because i saw a post that was like "pikmin cured my executive function" lol everyone who plays pikmin doesnt fucking shut up about what an indie gem it is but theyre kinda right………pikmin is really good…. its all about finding beauty and joy in the small intricacies of this wide world……i know some people were annoyed by the story parts but i thought it was cute idk :] and oatchi was there . recommend if you like games like starcraft or if you like watching ants carry around a giant caterpillar

movies: farewell my concubine: coming of age/literary/tragedy/historical/??? its a wong kar wai movie. dieyi has nothing in his life but the stage, where he plays as the faithful concubine to a doomed king. his life offstage is much more fraught. i would dearly love to read any articles or things about this movie so if you got anything come find me? ALSO if you have the forbidden cancelled broadway adaption script please let me know. im so curious. ok so its a wong kar wai movie so everyone knows its crazy good already. did watch it when i was sick so not super coherent ideas about it but its like omggggg dieyiii hes so doomed. the way it integrated with history was also interesting (i kinda cant believe someone made a rakugo-based adaptaiton of this. bro it doesnt WORK like that) its really interesting that like dieyis single point of friction between himself and consort yu is his gender.. but that constant emasculation is also what allows him to be so unique in theater and have a special bond w xiaolou.. man well it really was a movie. i want to see it again in a couple months maybe..? its about performance and gender and Performance of Gender and sexuality and cyclical violence and art during a time of strife and art as apolitical and also art as very political. and also a lot of other stuff. very awesome

we are the tigers: thriller musical about a terrible group of cheerleaders coming together for the first meeting of the year. and bad shit happens!!! omg i love girls who kill. and girls who kill each other i dont think this was particularly deep or anything but i enjoyed it :3

nope: horror movie about oj and em, two siblings struggling to keep their stunt horse business running after their father dies. ok well like above its a jordan peele movie so of course its very good. scary as well! i loved the themes… i went back to when ppl were talkingabout the movie to see what people said! ngl i kinda thought jupe was going to have a bigger part in the movie but he was cool as he was. idk it was just very enjoyable and had a lot of things to think about. the idea of spectacle and like.. tragedy-voyeurism are something thats really important to examine closely in times like these i think?

when harry met sally: ROMCOM YAYY about a man and a woman meeting each other across multiple periods of their life. literally one of the only romcoms i can remember my dad openly admit to liking it really deserves the hype. its so heartfelt and sweet and genuinely funny and the character development is so good. its like gay people for straight people

how to lose a man in 10 days: romcom about a guy who thinks he can make any girl fall in love vs a girl who is trying to give the worst dating experience possible. um well it was ok? i only really felt the chemistry between the main leads in a couple of scenes (like when she visits his home) it wasnt really funny or romantic enough..? especially given that most of the humor was predicated on LOL LOOK HOW SHITTY AND CONTROLLING GFS CAN BE which is like ok fine. whatever. idk it was ok

annihilation: horror about a group of scientists who go into a unsettling area to see whats wrong with it.. um well i read the book first and i had heard that this was a pretty good adaptation ? a la howls moving castle book vs movie. i thought it was pretty good? but WAY more focused on the horror stuff than the book, and also (bc its a movie) not really able to focus on the characters interiorities as much..? and also like the way the characters slowly lose it in weird ways and their dynamic frays was one of the cooler parts of annihilation (book) to me. i think at the time having queer characters and characters of color and a cast comprised almost entirely of women was a pretty big deal though i think i heard a lot about it on tumblr lol. its hard not to nitpick on lots of details but i thought it was pretty good overall! a lot of the differences that i didnt like that much made sense as a migration from book->movie--like for example if theyd made the mc as cold and unfeeling it would have been harder to have her be a sympathetic movie protagonist. i thought the infidelity plot w the professor was kind of a timewaster though . anyways still recommend 👍

blue beetle: action movie about a guy whos blue and a beetle. i liked this a surprising amount but i also saw it with friends. the first half of the movie is kinda better than the first also being a tokusatsu fan makes me go "wow this would be so much better if it was with suit actors" lol but the first half of the movie was sooo fun i think also had a really good depiction of a genttrifying city which i enjoyed

oppenheimer: historical drama about that one guy. copy pasting my thoughts from discord: even my dad who liked the movie more was like wow… this movie was kinda too long idk i think it was like technically cool in terms of like imagery and sound and actgin and stuff. but i like wasnt really moved LOL. christopher nolan is playing a little game where i have to recognize as many white men in sequence as possible and im going to be real i can manage maybe like 3? also the whole outer shell plot with strauss and misha collins (EDIT: it was not misha collins) who literally unironically said "youre the god of shadows now" (????) was like. um well this is really intricate but also i dont really care…? like am i supposed to have a stake in this…..? and sort of the intertwining of that story combined w the creation of the atomic bomb was like kinda so-so (my inability to tell faces didnt help w this) it was fine but not really my kind of movie. omg i did like the part with like all the thundering applause and stuff but it blows up there was this part where they kept on being like omg the X incident. all this stuff happened with X and i was like wow what is it….. turns out it was literally referring to a recurring character that i neither remembered nor could recognize. sad

us: horror movie about doubles. YESSS SO FUCKING SCARY i watched this on the airplane to school and the old lady sitting next to me had to watch me hyperventilating and clutching my chest and the whole nine yards. definitely the scariest jordan peele movie. man and the twist at the end was so freaking good. i think its the scariest because the danger is so there, and so immediate, but the beginning part of the movie actually succeeded (for me?) in getting you to be invested in the characters as well. i was wondering if maybe the doubles were also supposed to be connected to like ideas of caricature about black people..? it leaves just enough unanswered that youre still scared. and the questions that do get answered leave you with………THE HORRIFYING TRUTH!! god what a good movie

moonlight: coming of age about a boy who struggles with being black and gay during the crack epidemic of the 80s/90s. < sorry if this isnt a good summary i remember this was a pretty important film when it came out.. i watched part of it a couple years ago and then just remembered to finish this month. its a good movie… you kinda just sit with it yk. hm i (obviously?) dont have a lot of experience with black masculinity but i thought it was interesting how vulnerability can be like taken away from you or you can withhold it from yourself..and that can feel or even be really powerful! but its also like never too late to do that until youre dead. waves my hands around

thanks if you got to the end of this :3 stg ive had like 5 books on loan that ive had on loan for several months by now? idk if ill be able to get to them now (its the beginning of the school year..) but hopefully. i will do that soon. me n neil are sort of planning to get into "film bro movies" were watching the shining soon im very excited. see you later!

[its-a-hil]

answering everything for this ask game

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect? there are. a number of them. flare (clark powell, for homestuck) magilou's theme (motoi sakuraba, for tales of berseria) electricity forecast (inabakumori, really everything by them is just. so good) 14.3 billion years (andrew prahlow, for outer wilds)

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)? how hard teaching is :/ idk it's difficult to process anything else when im having a fulltime job for the first time in my life -_-

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home? yes absolutely i need to wear something comfy and soft and unrestrictive so like. leggings and a t shirt. having to wear vaguely formal clothes to work is nice for my self esteem but they are absolutely not home clothes at all

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with? not at the moment but i want to!! new year's resolution is to buy/make a necklace with 30 lunar phases and wear the appropriate one every day in 2024

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them? i have an older sister, we're extremely different lmao i guess we're both academically inclined and like reading fantasy, but that's like. it. though we are both currently getting our masters degrees from the same university so that's neat

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does? i guess… seeing something that was more beautiful than i expected? that's very vague hold on one time i was walking home from my office hours as a ta after a student had held me late these were evening office hours, so like. it was 2230, i was not dressed for the cold, i was annoyed at the student but but as i was passing a little field of grass, there were little ice crystals on the blades in the light of the streetlamp, as the wind was blowing the grass and i was walking past it the grass glittered i cant think of a better way to describe it but ive never seen anything like it since it completely made my day so yeah. that's my answer

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else? hm idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i feel like inside jokes usually just become part of my vocabulary

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is? fiction i think it's because im much closer to being good at writing than i am to any other art form so it resonates more with me since i can feel/imagine its creation in a way that i cant for music or visual art also sometimes i read my own past writing and it eats me alive

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you? it's associated with my name obv, since it's just a pronunciation guide but it's also associated with my avi edits, which are wonderful and make me feel great joy

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot? oh absolutely also not at all past me and present me both had/have an absurd inability to compartmentalize, a large degree of silliness, and a general love for the world the main difference is that ive… done more things

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again? not quite a movie or a book but. katanagatari. i really liked it but also it is so fucking slow i tried to rewatch it a couple years ago and i couldnt bc it was just so wordy

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired? it's quite easy to tell if im upset or tired i feel idk if theres a difference between them just like. looking at my eyes. also i take pauses when im tired/upset. also my voice is just. god. unsure about a tell for whether im happy though im not very in tune with my emotions to be able to tell that at least with other people if im by myself ill stim and the cadence/type of stim makes my emotional state obvious but who ever sees that

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts? things that encourage me to do something i want to do but need the motivation for my college friend group does a yearly gift exchange and a couple years ago i wished for earrings as motivation to get my ears pierced (it took me another 9 months but. we still did it girlies !!)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life? hm. failure? failing a class, or having a relationship break down, or tripping and getting myself seriously injured just. something that reminds me how ubiquitous loss is, that forces my brain to accept the fact that it's okay to not try to be perfect

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless? aranea homestuck!! something about the way that she knew that the game over timeline would break, did her best to avoid it, and everything fell apart anyway the part where she kisses jake and is like "wait why are you freaking out?? i know you like me this was supposed to encourage you" is just. she's doing her fucking best and putting her all into saving the timeline and yet everything she's doing is hurting and she doesn't know why also the part where she snaps and mind controls damaras to smash planets together in a desperate attempt to kill the condesce. so important. love her idk if she even counts as a villain but the story hates her so. it counts for me

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on? haha… "decorated"... that sure is a word…………

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? oooooh answer !! god. tales of luminaria was so fucking good!! (this was the trailer theme, and it was honestly the first thing that clued me into the fact that the game would be amazing)

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about? i guess for a general hypothetical person, i'd tell them how i have a teaching job now, how i have to manage a horrible curriculum that's just. extremely pedagogically unsound i'd also tell them that i went to la over the summer and got to see my 2nd space shuttle orbiter, that i don't yet live somewhere with public transit but that day is growing ever closer and im so excited

[1d1195]

i agree and disagree with a lot of your readers. ive read quite a few of your story lines in the past. personally i have learned to just trust the process of your writing even when i am not a fan of the direction you may first start.

i think your audience is forgetting what it’s like to read an actual “published book” not just concept stories writers in the fan fiction world come out with. it’s normal to be annoyed with your main characters in the beginning of a story. some of my favorite books have such awful moments with the “favorite” or “main characters” where you want to completely rip the pages out of your book. that’s the whole point of character development though. especially when writers in this world normally will create the story line/add more specifics as their art spills out their brains (coming from someone who writes stories/concepts themselves)

you still have left out enough details of harry and ava’s personal backgrounds before your audience was quick to let loose why they don’t like this story line. yes i myself am not a fan of the “emotional cheating” but you’ve still left enough foreshadowing of ava being just as sneaky, if not “worse”. dont be too discouraged with the negativity you’ve gotten on this story concept.

Every time I'm ready to throw in the towel on one of my projects, one of you messages me with the kindest advice and just a really great perspective. You've managed to put into words what I struggle to say when I'm trying (very poorly, admittedly) to keep it together about how difficult it is to write sometimes.

Thank you. I cannot explain how kind I find this message. It was exactly what I needed 💕 I'm glad you trust my process, haha that was a really nice way to phrase it. Thank you so, so much.

xoxo

[jovialjuggernaut-draws]

okay heres the thing tho

everyones advice is "write for yourself" but like. i am not writing original fiction here. i am not writing for an audience of me.

i am writing FAN fiction, which means my dialogue is with the source material and with other fans of the source material

what i want is not to write self-indulgent nonsense, what i want is to start a conversation with other fans

fanfics, and especially the kind of character- and canon-faithful fanfics i like to write, are as much an exercise in analysis as they are in creative writing

what im writing for is to say "this is what i see in this source material. this is the potential that i see. this is how it makes me feel." and looking to start a conversation with other people who also had that reaction or who find that reaction novel and interesting or people who did not see that potential in canon but like what ive teased from its threads

and maybe its showing my age a little here to expect this bc. i grew up in fandom and i learned how to connect with other people through fandom and its still the way i know best to talk and maybe fandom has moved on without me and we dont Do That anymore but.

im not a book author looking for high ratings to get more sales. im a fan of a thing looking to find other fans of a thing and to talk about the thing!!

the problem i am having currently with anonymous asks is that, rather than someone Too Shy to tell me how they feel abt this or that that ive written, what i am receiving are one-sentence, no-context prompts from someone who does not want to attach their name to them, and so does not want to start a conversation. what it ends up feeling like, to me, at least, is that i am being treated like a writing Machine, rather than a Fellow Fan, and that Complete Silence is a perfectly fine reward for Creating The Content an anon wants to see, because an anon will not reply (and attach their name to it) or reblog (and attach their name to it) and may not even hit like on the post (the least you can do to tell me you even read it)(again attaching their name to it)

do you see? do you understand?