#ive just been laying in bed??? we dont even have caramel????

[b0mblover]

low doesnt mean 0

By: J

Cw; denouncing (the christian one specifically) god.

Religion (its entirely about me and my mothers fights about religion)

Probablt dont read this if you’re religious, or do, your life.

your proof of a god- starts and ends at my birth- and his death

“your chances were so low they mightve well have been 0” “its near impossible that you were born perfectly healthy” -except i wasnt, it was 14% chance, not 0% there was still a chance- if theres a ball to gamble, then theres always going to be some kind out outcome, no matter the unlikelyness of it all.

“What do i have to do to prove to you that theres a god”

change the past, change the past, 

“you have no proof that hes not real”

if “he” were, why can i not see? why did that happen? why is life the way it is?

“If he isnt real then how did XXXX happen?”

because. there was the physical possibility, just as everything else, there was the possibility to become whatever i call myself at this point in time, there was the possibility to meet the people in my life, there was the possibility to be happy. My so called “luck” has nothing to do with it, your so called “god” has nothing to do with it, to be harsh, however, “everyone is unique” sure, lets go with that, youd say the exact same line with any other people- as long as they were vagely good people, even if they werent, you said it still then. “The you dont value them” i love them, no matter what? of course i don’t believe that they’re replaceable, ive already learned, however, theres no such thing as “the perfect friend group” for anyone, sure, some can be much better or worse, but as you said “everyone is unique” so, if theyre all different, you cant compare then to each other- theyre separate people, with completely different lives, you, as an outsider in my life, have no say of whos better in my life or not. 

If your so called “god” is real, then why is this low-end still manipulating me? -次

(funny thing, i wrote so many more tags than whats showing up- apparently theres a tag limit!)

[surveysonfleek]

1577.

How many times have you ever ridden an elephant? i dont think ive ever ridden one. ive touched one though Do you like cobblers? i highly doubt ill like them What do you think about Lord of the Rings? look... i feel like im the only person who hasnt read the books OR watched the movies. i feel like it wouldnt be my thing What kind of cup did you last drink out of? glass  Do you currently have any cuts or scrapes? no

Did you like Barney as a child? yes! What color vacuum do you use? its grey i believe Do you have a lot of clothes hangers in your house? yes, definitely Have you ever been in a Latin class? no Have you ever had bubble gum stuck in your hair? haha no. ive had a lollipop stuck in my hair though. it was a mess. Is there any pet hair stuck to your clothing? no pets :( What do you smell? my salted caramel candle. its great. Have you ever watched The Gremlins? no What is your favorite type of seashell? the iridescent kind Do you love 3-D movies? haha i feel like that hype is gone. it was fun while it lasted but i didnt love it Have you ever used Proactiv? no Is your cell on charge? no Do you like dirt or sand better? sand, easier to clean off u When’s the last time you had a hamburger? its been awhile! a month or so? Do you own an iHome? no, id love one though Do you own a BEST FRIEND charm or firgurine? no What do you think about rainbows? love them, its one of lifes little pleasures Are you wearing anything on your head right now? a hair tie Are you watching cartoons? no Do you own a pet spider? no Do you like mouthwash? yes, i dont mind it Have you ever used a Ped-Egg? no Do you like Olay products? im indifferent Have you ever gone on a cruise? yes, im dying to go on another one. obviously once covid has been cleared up Do you use green pens? nope Do you own anything that has a striped pattern on it? probably clothes Do you watch Wheel of Fortune? no Are there any fake tattoos on you? no When’s the last time you saw your grandpa? its been years. both of my grandpas passed away when i was a kid Is there a rocking chair in your house? no Do you call your animals “baby names”? no pets Why does George Lopez say “I GOT THIS!!” in that voice? haha idk Do you have homework? nope Have you ever gone to a Monster Truck show? haha no Well, have you ever seen the Nutcracker? nope! Where did you get your bed sheets? kmart Do you always use manners? always Have you ever been stood up? thankfully not Are your lips chapped? nope Have you ever been kicked in the throat? no, sounds like itd hurt Do you own a fishtank? no When is the last time you were sick? its been awhile. like i dont even think i got sick in 2020 Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? i dont love or hate it What do you usually order from Taco Bell? i dont go there, theres only like 3 taco bells in my state and none are closeby  If you have a cell, is it touch screen? yes Do you own a feather boa? no Are you allergic to peanuts? no, thank god. i love peanutes Do you wear ribbons in your hair? nope Did you get into the Livestrong bracelet kick? haha no, i never did How many pictures are on the wall of the room you are in? two Do you use cheat codes on video games? haha alwayssss. even as a kid, i used to write them all down on a piece of paper. good times Have you ever gone mudding on a fourwheeler? yes! Is there a rolly chair in your bed room? yes. What is your favorite flavor Jolly Rancher? watermelon Who is your favorite super hero? i dont have one fave Who is your favorite Villan? idk Have you ever been to a church camp? haha no Is there a trampoline in your back yard? no Have you ever played Dance Dance Revolution? yes! loved it as a kid Have you ever swam in a creek? most likely Do you enjoy running? nope, i hate it How long has it been since you last slept? its been 16 hours since i woke up What are your thoughts on Myspace? simpler times What is the last thing you dropped? my vape How many nickels are in your posession? theres prob a lot of them lying around Is the sound on your laptop or computer turned off? yes its on How many items do you have in your “favorites”? maybe like 10 Would you ever slide down a razor blade slide into a pool full of alcohol? um, ouch What is the last infomercial you saw? i dont remember. i hardly watch normal tv anymore How many magnets are on your refrigerator? heaps! my family collect them whenever we travel How many keychains do you own? i have about 3 on my set of keys Do you own anything with a peace sign on it? nope Have you ever been to Johnny Rocket’s? yes haha, i kinda love it! How many stuffed animals are in your room? none Look up, then to the right. What do you see? the window Have you ever done the “Cupid Shuffle”. no Do you know how to do the Solja Boy dance? yes Are you currently being stalked by anyone? no When is the last time you wore shorts? today Do you like elevators or escelators? im indifferent Have you ever layed on a tampur pedic? idts Have you ever been in Karate? yes, as a kid What color is the nearest lampshade? i dont have one Is there anyone in the room with you? no How long has it been since you’ve eaten a Reese’s? its been months

When is the last time you went to Walmart? last time i was in usa, which was 2017 Do you own any body glitter? nope What brand of hair straightner do you own, if you own one? cloud nine What is your favorite brand of chips? red rock deli What time was it 20 minutes ago? 10:49pm When is the last time you pet an animal? ages ago Do you own anything from Aeropostale? when i was a teen Did you have fun with this survey? no, it was boring af Was it random, or no? just boring lol soz

[hahaloljkthnx]

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALAAL: v0k ci

I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS IM SORRY

chocolate: when was your first kiss?Valentines Day, 8th grade

french vanilla: how old are you?19, 20 in July

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?Italy, Japan, and Germany probably maybe

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?pretty much any other language than english

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?bruh i dunno, urban decay and nyx probably

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?indoors mostly

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?you know i do my guy

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?(as much as i hate 13 reasons) The Night We Met- Lord HuronHuman- Rag N Bone Man(there’d be more but i havent been listening to a lot of music lately)

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?THERES TOO MANY

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?Leo

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?The beach, but I don’t live near one so im stuck with pool

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?bee tits i think

bubblegum: books or movies?movies, cause i dont really have time for books

pistachio: manga or anime?anime, manga is p expensive 

salted caramel: favorite movies?howls moving castle, the guardians of the galaxy movies, and theres probs more but i cant think of them

birthday cake: favorite books?The Road by Cormac McCarthy is the only one I have on my bookshelf that ive actually finished and it iiiis my fav book.

moose tracks: favorites for manga?havent read any manga oops

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?Sailor Moon, I’ve been watchin that since I was a kidI haven’t seen all of the episodes but I used to really enjoy watching Dragon Ball Z

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?Science, biology and astronomy to be particular

black raspberry: do you have any pets?Yes. Too Many. 9 dogs and 2 cats is not great. I would just like my one cat pls

mango: when and why did you start your blog?Like 2013 or 2014 and it was cause I got really into roosterteeth. I used to be dead set on not getting a tumblr cause i thought it was all for porn cause a girl at my school had a bunch of nudes here

mocha: ideal weather conditions?60-70 degrees partially cloudy maybe. i also like thunderstorms tho

black cherry: four words that describe you?I have no idea. 

neapolitan: things that stress you out?Not knowing whats happening, not being on time (and i am almost always late to everything), not having time to spend how I’d like, nothing, etc. 

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?I don’t know what to label some of it, but I guess Indie would cover all of it. Just go to my spotify bruh

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?I dont really eat a lot of candy, but the red packs of starburst, and strawberry laffy taffy are usually what id go for

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?Uno. I suck at games

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?Nah, if I eat breakfast its a pretty rare occaision

dark chocolate: turn ons?I kinda really don’t know anymore, there was a time period where my sex drive was like 0, and stuff that used to be a turn on does’nt really work anymore. We can talk about this not on the tumblr

fudge: turn offs?losing in mario kart

peach: how do you relax?usually just lay in bed and watch videos. sometimes hot shower, a bath also if theres a tub around i can use

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?pretty much every popular book

superman: do you like sweaters?yes, and i unfortunately dont own many :c

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?yes, coffee. i dont like tea, ive tried to like tea, but i just doooont like it

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?i wish i could play piano, i can a little i guess, but it takes 100 million years for me to put everything together and even then it suuuucks

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?yep yep yep

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?adding photos to posts on mobile

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?i dont really have fav blogs so, ALL MY MUTUALS are my fav blogs

almond: favorite mean girls quote?i dont know any mean girls quotes except the pink on wednesdays one and tbh its kinda dumb

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?dark gray

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?like in what way? sins? no. people having a crush on me? yeah a few times i guess

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?yeeeeee

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?YEAH

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?its so repressed i cant remember. i cant remember any embarrassing things really.

brownie batter: do you like sushi?im picky about my sushi but i like it

key lime: where do you want to be right now?not at home and alone

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?yep

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?chocolate and coffee flavor

[goblinfoody]

all the ones u didnt answer 😘😘😘😘

babe i cant blieve u smh

Vanilla Chai Latte : Are you in love?w like 30k ppl yeah
Cappuccino : What’s your middle name?dont have one
Pumpkin Spice : Dream car?i honestly dont know literally any cars fine w me (xcept big ones i cant see out of those)
Jasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?the future (if that counts) because lots of stuff up there im really counting on
Old English : You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you?a cool lizard
Iced Chocolate : Do you have a crush on someone?u ;o
Iced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band?rn getting into weezer again but also the kinks and hanoi rocks and metallica
Iced Cafe Mocha : Favorite thing to do on rainy days?watch movies in my dads room!
Caramel Macchiato : You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take?i cant pick 1 so im not answerig this one
Green Tea : How tall are you?5'3
Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action?literally just die that shitd freak me the fuck out
Mint Tea : How do you relax?i drink jasmine tea and lay and bed and usually it doesnt work but whatevr
Vanilla Latte : Board games or drinking games?board games since alcohol isnt the best
Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book?yeah! easily the hobbit but salems lot would take a very close second, tied w eileen
Italian Soda : Describe your dream dateidk ??? prolly just hanging out n then seeing a movie? going book shopping? music shopping? just yeah chillin out idk ive never been on a real date so rly have nothing to go off of
Sparkling Water : Describe what qualities you look for in a personnice, open minded, even tempered, understanding, patient
Orange Juice : Have you ever had a valentine?yeup but no like romantic ones
Rose Hip Tea : Describe your first kisswe were watching identity thief and i dont even think it counts as a kiss but well go w that lol
Herbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy?whatevers orange prolly

[kuchipatchi69]

aesthetic themed asks 😎 answer them all 😎

god ham ok

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?Today probably? I listen to music when I walk around campus so i kind of sing to myself

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?If I will be happy in the future lol

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?Actually making it to college

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?Everytime I go home and see my dogs lmao, i love them so much

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?I would do whatever I want tbh, no reason to not have a good time

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?uh!god i have no idea, im honestly winging it

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.Okay so we’ll do the Big Meme @chesapeakeripperWe’ve been friends for like, over 5 years and though we had a few falling outs, theyre literally my best friend lmao. Short, Salty, yet chill, and always a good time to hangout with. One of the only people I can spend more than a week with probably. Too edgy for their own good but has a compatible aesthetic and music taste. Edgy but loves folk music? A little shady, an asshole, yells at me for dabbing too much but then proceeds to dab or get mad when i dont take advantage of the good time to do it. ALSO the only person who i feel on the same level with rhythm games in general lmao

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?Oh yeah. My parents were good and I’ve realized how nice ive had it. We aren’t rich or anything but my parents always made sure we were comfortable.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?Oh god i dont even know. OH NVM YEAH, I cried in front of my vocal teacher and I feel so much closer to her honestly.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.Ok not to be gay but ham probably lol I mean? I would feel at peace probably, because I can talk to him about anything and I wouldnt have to feel nervous or anything.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?Oh yeah, I’m an open book and Most new friends reach out to me when im having a rough time so

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?Either Ham or Cain? Idk it wasnt anything too deep lmaoW Cain we just shit talk or talk about mbmbam? or pkmn cards lets be real. Cain is my bff and ham is a good guy

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?FUCK IDK ID REALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THISI’d probably tell my dad thank you and how much he meant to me

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?Great, I love them

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.“What” - anyone ever, I connect with it because I never know whats going on ever

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?“I’m out here”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?buy a lot of anime figures and also clothes and pokemon cards

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?IT DEPENDS! I can forgive people if I can see how genuine their apology is but if its something really shitty, then probably not lol

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.Are you seriousDear newly gay Sydney (I didn't start going by Sid until highschool so),I’m glad you cut your hair off, and I actually want to cut it again. I know you cut it because you were experimenting with gender stuff, which I’m also glad you did. You can stop being so edgy and a weeb? Also stop being so into yaoi it’s Really cringey to look back on (esp bc you wrote mpreg and I’m still not proud of it S M H). I don't really remember Middle School and I’m glad because you were in your scene phase and you tried way too hard, eventually became a compulsive liar and just manipulative overall.I’m a lot gayer and more comfortable now than you are, so try not to be so fake-depressed because the real thing will hit you in a few years and yeah, you’ll want to die but its fine. Everything’s okay. This is supposed to be 200 words but i dont give a shit so heres this.Your more gay, and less uptight self, Sid

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?Oh god, punk, but tired

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.I love tattoos and want to be covered in them, and I love piercings and want love them

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?idk why this is under piercings but okI do! but I also dont! I dont wear makeup 85% of the time but I have so much makeup and I love to put it on :’)

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.Y’all.... Fall out boy has literally been there for me through all my years and have been the band I go back and listen to because I didnt share their music with anyone, and It makes me feel like I can go back to before life was so hard

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.“Who gives a shit, my dude” 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.Jonas brothers (lmao)- I dont talk to the people I went with, my first concert, I didnt even plan to go lolFall Out Boy- Literally one of the best nights of my life and I got to spend it with my cousin and I’m so gladTwenty One Pilots- Though i dont really like them anymore, I became better friends with Maizie, who has literally had my heart for so long and I love her so much. I love both her and Jacob and wish I kept up better contact with them

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say????????????? idk 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?My desk has: a makeup mirror, some cake, a lamp, pill bottles and anime figures. Its unorganized bc I dont work there

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?Lay down, turn on MBMBAM, and then play all of the puzzle games I have until I’m out of lives before going to sleep l m a o

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?I went to some guys house one time and he tried to get me to do coke (I didnt do it dont worry)

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?MY HAIR IS BRIGHT YELLOW RN I WANT IT TO BE CURLY THO

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?Cain, Ally, Maizie, Jacob and Julia probably. We could go somewhere spooky

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.To be happy-Idk im not as happy as I want to beTo be wanted- I have a lot of problems with self worth so To be happy w my appearance- Ive been overweight my whole life and I’ve always felt ugly lmao

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.Oh god I have no idea bc I usually just do makeup and go 

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?Drunk text people how sad I am

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?im not sure tbh

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?only see one person? Cain probably only bc we get along so well even tho we get on each others nerves lmao

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.BRO okay yeah I have, it ended BADLY and a lot of people know the story. Of both the platonic and not. idk tho, its a good feeling to know someone is there for you no matter what

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?yeah, I LOOK like a 12 year old boy but its fine lmao

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?Iced coffee, 6 pumps of simple syrup and half and half. Green tea smoothie or frap OR salted caramel hot chocolate. My orders are pretty normal so 

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?God, my friends. They’ve helped me so much and I could not be more thankful because I’m going through such a hard time

[voidfirenate]

Prelude to War

This was it. The last bit of power I needed to take down my enemy. Casting my gaze at the broken image, flickering in and out beside me. A squeeze in my chest as I stared at the boy Id used to get here. Swallowing a hard lump in my throat I could only think that he brought this upon himself. Draco had been his responsibilty but he failed to do what should have been done.

Whether it be out of some twisted sense of loyalty or fear of his former mentor, I dont know but now it was time to pay for it. Last Id set eyes on the exile of Ishgard an former captian of the Lancing Hellhounds, was in the weeks before the Calamity. Kalidon had brought us in a report that the Garleans were moving some prototype weapons to Castrum Occiden and we would be tasked to stoping it. That whole event had been a night mare. Turning the crates in the wagon to find bodies of mixed parts an shipments of ceruleum. 

 We’d all heard the dark rumors surrounding the Garleans experiments an maybe thats what made Draco rat us out, the mans lust for power was strong enough. The simple leak of info turned a simple ambush into a massicure an the person responsible was the one leading the charge on the enemy side.

I’ll never forget the man standing shoulder to shoulder with the ones who’d be our executioners. Ever since my fall, Id been waiting for justice… No. Vengeance. For me as well as the my other brothers an sisters whod been taken. We all wish to die on the battle feild with honor but there was no honor with our deaths because there was no honor in betrayal. 

Draining the last bit of the Dragons strength, I inhaled a lung full of Coerthas airs. The cold was growing on me as I blinked at the bleak landscape of white. My mind wandering if I could ever stay here after all this was over….. Looking down at the unfamilar caramel hands, before kneeling beside the boy. His hair blending with the snow an his gaze focused on nothing just staring straight ahead reminding me of the first time Id seen him.

 A orphaned slave who’d fallen for Dracos honeyd words on power. He trapped the child then sealed his fate by offering his mothers killers on a silver platter. Dont think I could forget seeing a scrawny fourteen year old boy walking into the company house, body coated in blood. Still clinging to the blade hed used to take his first steps to becoming the devils knight. 

 Even as I see him lay here, I still image those eyes being an erry shade of violet staring into the nothingness. Like theyd seen so much for one so young only to see more later. His later acts under that bastard, still make my stomache turn. Im no saint an maybe after all is said an done, when Ive exacted my revenge. We can all go to hell together, to atone for our mistakes an let the gods decide our punishment.  

  “There is no rest for us boy. We made our bed, now its time we lied in it. The only regret I have is not stopping him sooner an sparing us both some heart ache….” I feed him a bit more aether to keep him around. Soon.. We would both be free of this burden, I only hoped my sanity held. The corrupt aether Id use to sustain my self in the begining had my thoughts jumbled. Making it hard to focus on a task, however using Nate as an anchor to the reality was working. Now all that needed to be done was to find Draco an finish this. ONce an for all.