#ive heard of people finding it really painful and people just finding it gross

[soyboyfag]

it's been two weeks and i'm still not getting over how good it felt to have my drains pulled out of my chest. the anticipation of intense pain only for it to feel like the combination of: pulling out a long hair you got in your eye, scratching an itch you've had for days, removing a splinter from under your nail, taking off jewelry that's been annoying you all day. and it squirted blood around, including on me, which was weirdly cathartic. the physical and emotional relief. the happiness of being one step further in my recovery. being able to get up and walk around without intense pain afterwards. and now i just have two holes in my sides that i can show to people to gross them out. i wish there were more things i could get pulled out of my body

[raideo]

Issey drama anon here, please tell us about Romance Doll because I have not heard anything about it

also, have you heard of Quartet? I've seen like 50 gifsets from it and it seems legit funny as hell

UMMM WELL- I'll put my thoughts on Romance Doll under a break at the end because the movie is pretty nsfw and weird and yeah...

Quartet is on my list! I'm definitely going to watch it at some point, but I also really wanna watch Miracles! Honestly that one has been the most interesting to me from the beginning but my adhd is just causing me to watch whatever's convenient first, not the ONE IVE REALLY WANTED TO WATCH THIS WHOLE TIME. I still have to finish Koisenu Futari too... I stopped that one cuz I was watching it with someone and we had a long period of time where we couldn't watch it. And then also it's just VERY HEAVY as a person who happens to be demi who has gone through periods of feeling like I could be aroace in the past. It's so realistic and deals with the painful things as well as the funny things and I am scared to finish it bc I KNOW THERES MORE HEAVY SHIT TO COME but it's an amazing show AND I DO WANT TO FINISH THAT ONE TOO.

And on a completely polar opposite note: ROMANCE DOLL, LMAO

Ok so, this movie is very much one of those WEIRDLY REALISTIC stories where all the characters are so real and flawed and HUGE MISTAKES ARE MADE by characters and it's just such a wild ride. You probably haven't heard about it because its FUCKING WACK.

Without giving too much away in case you wanna watch it (netflix dropped it last monday, which is actually why I ended up watching it over the weekend at all, but it's still available to rent on amazon 🙄) Issey plays Tetsuo, an unemployed art college grad who is desperate for a job. His friend gave him a tip about this sketchy job opening but told him literally nothing else about it. He shows up and this old woman greets him and shows him around and he's a bit shocked to find out it's a shop that makes SILICONE SEX DOLLS. The woman is like "your friend didn't tell you that???" And Tetsuo was like "he literally just said there was a job here-" and she laughs and says "Some friend he is then!" Honestly I loved the old lady she's great, I wish I could remember her name I'm too lazy to go look it up rn.

Anyway so yeah, he takes the job even though the interview was super awkward and there's this gross pervy old guy who works there and he doesn't really care about the subject matter he just needs money (mood)

One thing and another happens (and a lot of me wanting to slap the old man into next tuesday, seriously he's the worst) and a little bit later Tetsuo meets the love of his life through some bullshit connection to his job, and they end up getting married some time after, but she doesn't know what he does for a living and ITS ALL VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN WHY HE KEEPS THAT FROM HER without spoiling things but just- the movie is wack, I really didn't like it in the beginning but it pulls a complete 180 and ends up being this weirdly emotional and AT TIMES, a holesome wholesome slice of life movie??

Don't get me wrong it doesn't sugarcoat things like objectification of women and there's some degree of realistic portrayal of that bc of the whole Tetsuo working at a sex doll shop thing, it is very true to life- how men can be gross even if they aren't going so far as assaulting anyone. It doesn't excuse it either it just presents it as it is, which is good I think. But then there are OTHER moments where the movie is very sex positive- so its a wild fucking trip tbh. Definitely don't watch it if you have sensitivities to the things I mentioned above bc bro omg the first half almost had me like "yeah I can't watch this" a couple times jfc.

BASICALLY by the end of the movie the message is that communication and being open with people you love (and not getting bogged down with anxiety and guilt) is important, because on top of not being fair to the people who are important to you, hiding things from them can eat you up inside and make you act irrationally and hurt them even more whether you realize it or not. And also, you never know how someone will feel about the things you don't want to tell them. Something that could be huge to you could be no big deal to another.

Its just a very interesting movie. I don't know if I'd recommend it, theres some NUCLEAR SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT CRINGE MOMENTS like oh my god i wanted to die- and like I said above, there's lots of intense subject matter and some not so pretty moments that a lot of people may want to avoid. Id for sure check one of those sites that gives content warnings before watching bc hoo boy...

But all that aside, once again Issey is an incredible actor and his range is apparent in this movie. I saw some like- borderline SLAPSTICK physical comedy moments that had me so surprised bc he did them so well but its so new and different from anything else ive watched him star in. Dude is just unstoppable tbh. He HAS 👏 THE 👏 RANGE!! 👏

Also you get to see him naked a lot. So there's that!

[lihikainanea]

sis leiii, can i please have a piece where instead of bill flying back home to be with tiger, she's the one who's flying to see him because he's travelling to film a movie or do a photoshoot or something but he's feeling homesick and maybe having a fever and tiger flies immediately to whatever he is to take care of him, but she surprises him and he lets himself cry when he sees her there?

Oh my sweet, soft Bill. Tiger is, without a doubt, no stranger to rescuing her Big Dude.

And you know, maybe it��s a multitude of things. Maybe Bill really isn’t jiving with the producer or the studio or something, but he’s learning in his older age that sometimes you can’t just...flip your shit and walk away from projects. Maybe the project itself still really interests him, but the people carrying it through are being insufferable dicks. Bill has an extremely low tolerance for people who think they are above anyone else, and if the set he’s on is rampant with egos, he has a really hard time...but he also can’t necessarily walk away.

Maybe it’s not even that. Maybe it’s just a gruelling shoot, one where actors’ unions and the studio are constantly in a battle because the actors are somewhat being forced to go through with scenes or go through in conditions they have no business going through. On Bill’s second day on set, he spent 14 hours submerged in an indoor pool that was way below the temperature it should have been. His acting contract, his union, probably states that he can spend up to 3 hours maximum in the pool and then he needs a one hour break to dry off, have a warm drink, raise his body temperate back to normal and then he can continue.

But the producer was always almost just getting the right shot, and maybe just one more take, and okay that was great but let’s do another one just in case and suddenly, it’s 14 hours later and Bill is shivering, his body temperature is dropping dangerously low, and his lips are blue. The doctor on set finally puts an end to it.

The next day, a cough had set in deep in his chest. One of those coughs that started off small and then just couldn’t stop, one of those ones that ached in your lungs, a cough that had you gasping for air after you just couldn’t make it stop. His entire day was scrapped, every take he did cut short when his breath would catch and it would set off this hacking cough, one that rattled deep in his bones. He was exhausted. He was out of breath. The first week hadn’t even wrapped yet, and he was already wrecked.

Tiger heard it the moment she picked up the phone when he called her that evening--the middle of the night for her. She picked it up and mumbled a groggy hello before a deep, uncharacteristic wheeze had her eyes widening.

“Hi kid,” he rasped, “Sorry I’m calling so late.”

“...Bill?” She had to ask to be sure. His voice was so rough, so strained, and she winced as a terrible cough sounded down the line.

“Yeah,” he wheezed, “Sorry, give me a second.”

He sounded terrible. His voice sounded thick and rough, strained as if he was trying to control it--and his cough sounded even worse. Wet and rumbling, it seemed to go on forever before she heard a soft sip,  clearing of his throat.

“Sorry,” he croaked, “Having some issues.

“You sound terrible bud,” she said, “What’s going on?”

“Just caught a bit of a chill,” he mumbled.

A bit of a chill turned into pneumonia a few days later--and still, he worked. He would call her when he could, but tiger was getting increasingly more worried--she knew her Good Dude. And it seemed that every time she talked to him, he was coming off a day on set that was seeming more and more insane. A night shoot, where he had to run through freezing cold temperatures and snow in nothing but a bathrobe, barefoot--and he had to do it over and over and over again, because the director wasn’t happy with the shot.  More water scenes. More hours spent in subzero temperatures, in soaking wet clothes, already sick as a dog.

Tiger had a feeling that there was a reason why he was sticking to regular calls instead of video ones, and at one point she insisted on it--and it only confirmed her suspicions. He looked terrible--gaunt and pale, his big eyes sticking out of his head even more, his skin a sickly pallor, and he was at the point where he couldn’t even get two words out without either having to stop to catch his breath, or launching into a coughing fit. The wheeze in his chest was even more prominent, there was a permanent wince in his features from the pain, and his eyes had deep bags under them.

“Bill,” she said sternly, “Have you seen a doctor? Are you taking meds for this?”

“I’m on a round of antibiotics,” he brought a pill bottle into the frame and shook it to show her, “But it just needs to run its course.”

“My ass it does,” she snaps, “You look awful.”

“Careful,” he warned, but it lacked all of its usual malice when he launched into a coughing fit after.

As soon as tiger hung up the phone, she booked her ticket to his location. She wasn’t going to sit by and watch this happen. The kicker was when she was browsing her instagram and just happened to stumble across a story that one of Bill’s co-stars posted--a goofy photo of the dude in the make up chair--but there in the background, a little blurred but tiger could spot him anyway--was Bill, curled up in a lounge chair, an IV drip in his arm. Tiger screen capped the photo and sent it to Bill, with a very curt message.

Call me. Now.

Seconds later, the image disappeared from the costar’s stories and Bill’s name popped up on her screen.

“Don’t freak out,” he started, “It’s fine, kid.”

“An IV isn’t fine Bill,” she snapped, “What’s happening?”

“It’s just some nutrients and vitamins and a lot of hydration--” a pause for a gross-sounding coughing fit--”I’m having a hard time shaking this thing, so it’s just to give me a boost.”

“You can’t shake this thing because you’re exhausted and this gig is killing you--”

“I’ve gotta go tiger, they’re calling me back to scene,” he mumbled, “Please don’t worry about me. I’m okay, I promise.”

Tiger moved her flight up to the earliest one she could find.

And listen, when she got there? She gave his agent strict instructions not to tell him shit, but to help her find a way to get into his apartment.  She was exhausted from the flight and the time difference, but she was on a mission--she found a grocery store, was able to pick up a few staples. She stocked up on green tea, honey, managed to find some warm blankets, was able to somehow figure out how the sauna on the back deck worked. Tiger had a bad case of whooping cough as a kid, and she remembered that Granny used to spend hours in a steamed out bathroom holding her, trying to ease the pain and break the cough. Extreme heat was good to try and clear out the lungs, and if Bill didn’t have a fever, she planned on manhandling him into the sauna for a few hours tonight.

She got everything she could. Medicine. Lozenges. A thermometer. A hot water bottle. She spent the rest of the day cooking--big pots of soups and stews, hearty things with a lot of vegetables that would be easy for him to digest.

And listen, when Bill got home in the wee hours of the morning? Tiger was on the couch reading, and she stood when he entered the doorway. He hadn’t seen her yet and she watched as her Big Dude stepped in, closed the door behind him--and then slumped against it. His back leaning on it, his head fell forward and she heard him exhale a rough sigh--or at least part of one, before he started coughing again. Pushing himself off, he wearily raised his head and that’s when he saw her--and he froze.

“But you’re fine eh?” she said sarcastically. The house was mostly dark except for a few dim lights, but she saw his eyes widen and the shock register on his face.

“...Tiger?” he rasped after a long pause. He shook his head as if he might be imagining it, but tiger took a few steps forward.

“This ends now Bill,” she said lowly, “Do you hear me?”

She stopped in front of him, but he still hadn’t blinked yet. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Tiger...” he mumbled. Reaching a hand out, his fingers brushed her hip as if he was afraid she was just a mirage--but then a few fingers turned into a whole hand, then both hands.

“Tiger,” he croaked, and then he crumbled. Reaching for her, she pulled him in as his knees buckled under him. She caught his weight as best she could, and he buried his nose in her neck. His shoulders shook and he clung to her, and she could feel the rumble in his chest as he struggled for air.

“Okay easy big guy,” she said, “Just try and stay calm and breathe through it.”

The cough started off small as he tried to suppress it, but eventually his whole body shook as he wheezed and his knees gave out. He knelt down, trying to get air in as he heaved, and she soothingly rubbed his back.

“Enough,” she said softly as she patted his back, “I’m here bud, and I’m not leaving. Just try and calm down a bit so you can get your breath back.”

His hand still reached for her just to make sure she was real, and it took him a long time to be able to catch his breath. Tiger held him the whole time, right there on the floor, until he could at least get some air in again.

Once he was able to breathe again, I’ll bet she put her foot down. Told him that she was worried, and that she was there to take care of him--because he was sick. Really sick, and that if he didn’t take the time he needed to heal, that he would only get worse. He finally caved because it was her you know? And for as well as he takes care of her, he trusts her to do the same for him. Halfway through the call with his agent, tiger had to take the phone from him because he was struggling for air again and couldn’t get the words out. Tiger told her, in no uncertain terms, that Bill wouldn't be able to work for at least two weeks. 

And listen, for two weeks--Bill wasn’t allowed to move an inch unless tiger told him too. His fever was too high for the sauna that night, and even though he shivered most of the night, she made sure he was only draped with one blanket so he wouldn’t overheat. She filled him with fluids to try and help break the fever, and when it was a little better the next day, she started working on his lungs. She dragged him to the sauna and sat there with him to sweat it out. He was miserable--cranky and in pain, the dry air burned his already sensitive chest, but tiger just sat there and held him. She held him as his body wracked with heaves, she rubbed his back when a coughing fit took over and left him gasping, and she wouldn’t let him leave no matter how much he protested. Only after they had been in there for two hours did she pull him back upright, take him inside and get him to drink another ungodly amount of water, followed up by some of Granny’s tea. She gave him all the head scritchies until he was able to sleep at least a little, and even then he was only able to with his head propped up against her chest.

It was agonizing. It was the sickest she had ever seen him. And it was a long process--if she didn’t like the way he looked after two weeks, then she wasn’t going anywhere for at least another two. And neither was he.

[before-we-get-started]

Dream Come True

Colin Shea x O/C Corinne MacAdam

Multi-Chapter Story - Complete

Summary: Colin Shea and his band Rock the Cradle are finally making it big - until something unexpected happens. When he meets a girl that makes him reconsider his player ways, he thinks his life may be coming together, until she blows it apart.

Warning: Bad language, smut, suicidal ideations - no one under 18, please

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please do not read if you are underage. I do not own the character of Colin Shea; the rest are my original characters. By reading beyond this point, you understand the disclaimers as posted.

Chapter Three

“Colin? Colin? You with me, man?”

He stirred, then became aware of intense pain in his back and neck. He let out a moan.

“There he is.”

He recognized Kevin’s voice. He slowly opened his eyes, his head pounding as he focused on the light. “What the hell?”

“It’s ok man, you’re gonna be ok. You scared the shit out of us.”

“Kevin!” Colin’s mom scolded him as she sat at the edge of his bed, holding his hand.

“Hi Honey, dad and I are here.”

“What happened?”

“We nailed the razzle dazzle but you got taken out,” said Kevin. “Landed on your head, which for you shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it knocked you out. We lost you for a minute. Heart stopped and everything. Spencer got you back.”

Colin groaned. “Oh no, tell me he didn’t kiss me.”

“Look, when you’re dead, does it really matter? The guy saved your life. If mouth-to-mouth was involved, so be it.”

“Aah, gross!”

“Colin, for heaven’s sake, we’re just glad you’re still with us,” said his mom, smoothing the hair back from his forehead.

“You really did scare the shit out of us son,” said his dad, his mom slapping at dad’s hand for the profanity.

Their conversation was interrupted as a young nurse entered the room. “Mr. Shea, glad to have you back.”

Even severely concussed and in pain, Colin was on the prowl. “Are you here for my sponge bath? I can make everyone disappear,” he said with a crooked smile.

The nurse rolled her eyes. “We have a special nurse that takes care of those. I’ll have her paged. Her name is Agnes, she’s wonderful, been doing this for 50 years-“

Colin’s dad let out a belly laugh.

“That’s ok,” he said, all the cockiness gone. “I’ll just get some rest.”

“Right,” she said with a grin. She adjusted the IV bag on the stand next to his bed, wrote his vitals on the board for the next nurse and left the room.

Colin closed his eyes, then quickly opened them, springing up from the bed. He grabbed his throbbing head. “Dude, what time is it, we’re gonna be late!” He pulled the blanket away and tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed. Kevin stopped him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, lay back down. You’re not going anywhere.” His mother pulled the blanket back up to cover him.

“We’re gonna be late! We can’t miss this!” Colin said as he tried again to sit up.

“Colin, just lay down. We’re not going to be late. It’s ok.”

Colin laid his arm over his forehead and closed his eyes. “How long do we have? We’re supposed to be there at 6.”

Kevin chuckled at his bedside while he saw sadness in his mom’s eyes.

“What’s so funny?” said Colin.

“It’s Thursday. You lost three days, dude.”

He laid still for a second, considering what Kevin had said. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. You’ve been out for three days. You took a hard hit. That Jordan dunk was worth it though, huh?”

Colin groaned. “No, no, no!” He rubbed his forehead and groaned again. “I can’t believe this. We’ll never get this chance again.”

“The producer said he’d try to get back with us but he was headed to L.A. for the next few months. He wished us luck. Look, all that matters is that you’re ok.”

His mother patted his hand. “Colin, it’s ok, just rest. The most important thing is that you’re ok and that you heal.”

“Damn,” Colin muttered under his breath. He’d been trying to gather his thoughts since waking up, everything still foggy. He remembered walking to the basketball court. He remembered their opponents asking for a best-of-3 game. He even remembered he was wearing his favorite Celtics t-shirt. And he remembered her.

“Kevin, were there any girls at the court? Watching the game?”

“Good Lord Colin, are you ever not thinking about girls?” said his dad.

“No, no, I just keep thinking about this girl. Chestnut hair, chocolate eyes, really sexy legs. Was she there watching us?”

“Nope,” said Kevin, popping the p. “No chocolate-eyed girls. In fact, no girls at all. A total sausage fest.” This earned Kevin one more smack from Colin’s mom.

Colin closed his eyes and rubbed them, sighing. His band had missed their shot and a beautiful brunette that he wasn’t sure existed was living rent-free in his brain. It was all too much.

“Alright man, I’m out of here. Glad you’re alive. The band would suck without a lead guitarist,” said Kevin.

“Good to know how much I mean to you,” said Colin, gripping his hand in their special handshake. “Thanks Kevin.”

Kevin walked out as Colin’s mom fluffed his pillow behind his head. All he could do was close his eyes and drift off, hoping to escape all the disappointment breaking his heart.

“You’re moving great, girlfriend.”

Cori grinned at her mother’s encouragement as she stepped out onto the patio. It had been three months since she’d stepped off the curb into the path of a cab. Fortunately the driver had been slowing already, so when he hit her, the impact could’ve been worse. As it was, the impact had caused her heart to stop. An ambulance two lanes over had responded and gotten her to the hospital in minutes, and they’d shocked her and brought her back. She’d broken an ankle and a wrist and suffered a severe concussion. She’d been unconscious for nearly a week. Her recovery had been steady, her parents welcoming her into her old room and nursing her back to health.

She sat down under the umbrella at the patio table, lifting her bad leg onto the ottoman. Her mother brought lemonade for them both, sitting down next to her.

“You look wonderful honey,” her mother said, covering her hand. “I’m so thankful you’ve recovered so well.” She stared down at the table, then raised her eyes to Cori.

“I think we need to talk.”

“Sure,” said Cori, sipping the lemonade.

“About that day, I mean.”

Cori swallowed hard. She knew this conversation was coming. “I don’t remember much,” she said.

“I don’t want to talk about what happened. I want to talk about why.” She patted Cori’s hand.

“Mom –“

“Corinne,” she said sternly. “The counselor said part of your healing is assessment and accountability.”

Cori rolled her eyes and her mother gently slapped her hand.

“You and I both know you were going through a lot when this happened. You had lost so much. Dad and I should’ve paid more attention. We should’ve seen the signs.” Her voice broke and she wiped at a tear on her cheek.

“Mom,” said Cori, leaning forward to comfort her. “Please. Look, I’ll admit I wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine before the accident. I was struggling with all of it. But Mom, I wouldn’t ever try to – you know –“

Her mom slid her chair closer and wrapped her arms around her. “Of course not, honey. We both know that despite everything, you have so much to live for.”

“I do,” she said, but the confidence was gone from her voice.

“Corinne. You have always been my happy child. You sang loudest in the choir, you were the cheerleader with the biggest smile, your pirouettes were full of energy – those other girls in dance couldn’t begin to turn the way you did. How many times have I walked in on you singing at the top of your lungs into your hair brush or heard you laughing like crazy at ‘Friends.’”

“Mom –“

“I’m just saying,” she continued, “you don’t need a guy to be your happiness. Sure, it’s wonderful to have companionship. But you are intelligent and fun and caring, sweet and loving. There is someone out there for you, and I’m sorry Matthew made you take a detour. But before you find the right one, you have to be sure you know who you are.”

Her mom was definitely starting to sound like the counselor. “Ma, you’re exactly right. I made the mistake of trusting two people with my happiness and they let me down. And despite everything, even though I’ve had these challenges, I know I have my whole life ahead of me and I’m ready to start this adventure again.”

Her mom looked at her, not completely buying what Cori was selling.

“Mom! I mean it! Look, what happened to me scared the absolute crap out of me. I know I’m lucky to have survived. But I did for a reason – there are obviously things I haven’t done yet.” Isn’t that what he told me before he kissed me?

Finally her mother smiled. “That’s the Cori I know and love,” she said softly. “You took several years off your dad’s and my lives kiddo. All we want is for you to be happy. We want you to have everything you want.” She squeezed Cori’s hand. “Promise me you’ll concentrate on being happy and having fun and not worry about what you think society expects from you.”

She let loose with another eye roll.

“Cori, seriously. You’ll find someone and marry when the time is right. I promise you you’ll know when you’ve found the right one.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Uh, spoken by the one who married her high school sweetheart,” she said with a smirk.

“Hey, I can’t help it if Mr. Right took me to my senior prom. But I sure knew he was the one,” she said with a wink.

“Did someone call my name?” Her dad walked out onto the patio, passing Cori a bottle of beer.

“Oh brother,” she said as her dad leaned down to kiss her mom’s cheek. She loved that they were still so much in love. Could there really be that type of romance out there for her somewhere?

“We were just discussing Cori’s fresh start,” said her mom, “and all she has to look forward to.”

“You’ve always been full of joy, Princess,” said her dad. “Your future’s so bright…”

“Don’t!” Cori groaned.

“You’re gonna need shades,” her mom and dad said in unison, laughing loudly at themselves.

“What’s so funny?” her sister asked, carrying out some snacks.

“NOT mom and dad,” said Cori, and they laughed even louder.

They munched and chatted and Cori felt a calm she hadn’t in some time. She was blessed with a loving family and all the support in the world. Even as she worked through the noises crowding her brain, she had the people she needed around her.

Listening to them talking, Cori closed her eyes. At some point she’d love to talk about what happened after the accident, but her memory was still so sketchy. She remembered taking the elevator down from her office, pressing herself up against the glass on the crowded sidewalk, even stopping on the corner and pushing the button to get the crossing light. But that’s where it ended. Her next memory was in the hospital, her mother stroking her hand and her father standing next to her bed.

She let out a sigh. She’d dodged a bullet, that was for sure. She was so lucky to be alive. She swore she could remember the feeling of being brought back to life, the power surging through her.

And then, as she remembered the feeling of electricity, the flash of a face – beautiful blue eyes, spiky blonde hair, firm biceps and pecs and a Celtics t-shirt. As quickly as the memory was there, it was gone. She guessed it must be someone she’d seen at the hospital, or maybe on the street before she was hit.

“What are you grinning about?” her mother said, interrupting the thought.

She smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

She helped her mother clear their dishes and then packed up leftovers for her sister. After hugging her goodbye, she said good night to her parents and showered, covering her casts with a bag, then crawled into bed with a book. She finished only a few pages before sleep claimed her, the book sliding down the covers.

In her dreams, she could see the turquoise water so clearly. She was naturally drawn to it. The water was so blue and still, the sky golden. She’d almost made it but then he was there. Suddenly there were blue eyes and his lips were pressed to hers in a passionate kiss, a jolt of electricity stunning her body.

She jumped from under the covers, bracing herself with her good arm. She fully expected to see still water when she looked over the side of the bed, but it was just her bedroom.

Who was he? And why was he there? There was no mistaking that the kiss was delicious. She closed her eyes and hummed as she remembered it again. But where was she when she was kissing him? She hadn’t seen anyone since Matthew. There had been no one.

Those features were suddenly clear to her, the angled nose and chiseled jawline, with a few freckles across his high cheekbones. The thought of him took her breath away. She could remember the details but she couldn’t conjure the entire face. There was a silver chain, and a tattoo – were they words? – and Celtic green. As quickly as the memory was there, it was gone. The doctors had told her she may have snippets of memories from her entire life until the effects of the concussion healed. Wasn’t it her luck that she’d been kissed by a guy that was a figment of her imagination. It was a kiss for the ages, one she wouldn’t forget any time soon. She hoped thinking of it would give her courage as she stepped back into the world.

* * * *

“Here honey,” said Colin’s mom, adjusting the pillows behind his head on the couch. “Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?”

“Ma, thanks but I’m fine, I swear.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she said, straightening up things in the kitchen.

Colin was in a funk. Despite his doting mother and all her TLC, he was still down hard. For the last three months, he’d struggled to come to terms with what he’d lost. His dream of his band making it big was gone. It had taken weeks for his body to heal. He was moving better but there was still some pain. The horrible headache that was part of his severe concussion had finally lifted, but he was still in a fog.

The guys were getting restless, they wanted to start playing again. They’d been able to book some parties and a gig at one of their regular bars. He had two more weeks to get it together, make sure his guitar skills had returned to normal, and they’d start their quest again.

Only he just wasn’t feeling it. No matter how hard he tried, there was a gray cloud over his head. And then there was that girl. His memory was hazy, he tried so hard to remember her. Beautiful hair and eyes, with a sweet, heart-shaped mouth. And yet all he could remember was how sad she looked. She haunted his dreams every night and the memory would disappear. He didn’t know who she was or where she came from, or if she was even real. He only knew she was going to end it all if he hadn’t stopped her. How could someone so beautiful feel so sad that they didn’t want to exist anymore?

“Honey, you’re so deep in thought. Don’t you want to rest?”

“Ma, I really, really appreciate you taking care of me but I’m fine. Really.”

She sat down on the chair across from him and took a good look at him. “You look better,” she said. “And your appetite is back. All good signs.”

“So how about you go home and take care of dad for a while? I know he’s been missing you.”

She chuckled. “I’m not sure that’s true,” she said with a smile.

“Ok, well I know he’s missed your cooking,” he said.

“That is true,” she said, “and from the looks of his belly, he could afford to miss it for a

while.”

Colin laughed and his mother smiled at him. “That’s music to my ears,” she said. She walked over and sat on the edge of the couch, running her fingers over his hair. “You know, maybe you could think about bringing a nice girl home to us,” she said. “I could teach her how to cook all your favorites.”

“Ma-“

“I know, I know, you like to play the field. But really Colin, how about just finding a nice girl you can settle down with. And then you can start giving me grandbabies,” she said with a brilliant smile.’

“Come on Ma,” he said as she pinched his cheeks.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she said.

“Shoot,” said Colin.

“I’ll go home and leave you be, but you have to promise you won’t overdo it. And you’ll eat what I left you and not order any crap until you’re better.”

He laughed again and sat up, wrapping her up in a hug. “You’re the best Ma ever, you know that, right?”

“Well, that’s because you’re my baby boy.”

He blushed as she ruffled his hair. “Ok, I’m out of here. I love you,” she said, kissing his cheek. “And I’m glad you’re still around to eat my lasagna.”

“Me too,” he said.

She made her way out of his apartment and he stared up at the ceiling. He had to return to the living. He forced himself off the couch and fought the urge to return to bed, grabbing his guitar. It had always been his solace. When he felt his lowest, he’d simply pound out a song and his mood would instantly improve. He strummed slowly, but his heart wasn’t in it. He set it down and laid back on the couch, curling up under a blanket and covering his head with a pillow. As he closed his eyes, he hoped she’d once again be there, so clear and yet not even a true memory.

Tomorrow was a new day. He’d try joining the living again tomorrow.

[echoghost1]

Forget Your Life Story

Word Count: 1836 For: @ecto-american

You can read on AO3 or down below the cut

Summary:  Danny woke up with no memory. He didn’t even know his own name. The doctor told him it would come back and his parents were there to help him. He trusts them, even if he doesn't recognize them. Even if some things didn’t quite line up.

Edit: I added a summary

He opened his eyes and saw nothing but white. White ceiling. White walls. White sheets.

He wrinkled his nose finding it all very unappealing.

He tried to sit up but a sharp pain in the crook of his left arm stopped him.

There was movement to his right, a nurse walked into the room and stopped when she saw him looking at her.

"Oh! You're awake!"

He tried to talk, but his voice cracked and died on the way out. He had so many questions bubbling inside him but all he could do was make faces and grunt in a vain attempt at being understood.

She nodded as she checked the different machines and equipment around him as if he was actually making any sense. "Don't worry dear, your doctor will be here soon and explain everything."

He was surprised that worked.

It wasn't long before the doctor came and informed him that he had been in a coma for a month.

Then the doctor asked what he remembered.

He thought for a moment.

Then a little longer.

He figured falling into a coma would be more memorable. Since he had nothing, he just shrugged at the doctor.

“It’s okay if you don’t remember what happened.” the doctor reassured.

He nodded then bit his lip as a question popped in his mind that he wasn’t sure how to answer. Or how to ask.

“Something on your mind?” the doctor asked as if he could read his thoughts.

“It’s just,” he hesitated as he tried to word it right, “someone is waiting for me right? Someone’s here that can take me home?”

The doctor looked concerned, "Your parents are just outside. Did you want me to get them now?"

He nodded and the nurse took the opportunity to remove the IV in his arm.

A couple walked into the room and they smiled at him.

He looked from them back to the doctor.

"You don't recognize them do you?"

"I'm sorry." He felt awful. What kind of son forgets his parents. As if he didn't put them through enough already with the coma.

The nurse placed a hand on his shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze.

“I was worried about that.” the doctor muttered to themselves before addressing the room, “It’s not uncommon for cases like this to lead to memory loss. But luckily ‘loss’ is a bit of a misnomer.”

His parents, he supposed, relaxed, but he was still confused. He didn’t know what that word meant. He figured he might as well ask.

“In this case, it just means that ‘loss’ doesn't mean ‘gone forever’. It’ll take time, but your memories should come back to you.”

He relaxed into the bed. That was really good news. “Is there a way to make it work?

“Not exactly. This isn’t something you can force.”

He slumped into the pillows more.

“But, I can give you some advice.”

He perked back up, hopeful.

“It will come in bursts and waves. The things around you will trigger memories. Sometimes it’s smells, other times it’s sounds. The memories might just be feelings or vague impressions and other times they might be full-on movie-style productions. It all just depends.” The doctor pulled up a chair next to the bed, “Your memories are like puzzle pieces that got knocked to the ground from a high table. It’s going to take time and a little help to find them all and make sense of the picture they make, but it’s not impossible.”

Then they asked if he remembered his name.

He didn’t.

His mom told him it was, Danny.

“Danny,” he repeated a few times with different inflections just to see how it felt. If it fits.

He nodded, satisfied that it did.

==============================================

It was odd that he needed a tour in his own house when he got there. He’d been expecting it, but he had been a little hopeful that it would at least seem a little familiar once he saw it again.

On his first night home, he had a weird dream. It wasn’t scary, just odd. He decided to tell his mom about it in the morning. The doctor had mentioned that his memories could surface in dreams and it was important to talk them through.

He sat at the kitchen table while his mom made coffee.

“There was this girl in my dream last night. She knew me. I guess I knew her too. I knew her name in the dream, but now I can’t quite remember it.”

“Oh?” his mom turned to him as she stirred her sugar in her mug. “Do you remember what letter it was? Or if it rhymed with another name?”

“I think it had to do with music? But that doesn't make sense, does it?”

His dad came in, kissed his mom on the top of her head as he reached for his mug, “Maybe it was Melody?” he guessed, “That’s a musical name.”

“Do I know a Melody?” he asked despite the name not sounding right at all.

“I don’t think so. Unless you met them at school.”

“That or you saw them in a movie.” his dad sat down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “I know the doc said you might have dream memories but that doesn't mean they all are. Some dreams might just be dreams.”

“Yeah I know,” Danny sighed, “But it just felt so real, you know?”

==============================================

It wasn’t until a few days later that he heard his parent’s names. They were waiting in the doctor’s office for a check-up on his progress when it happened.

“Matilda and James Fairchild,” The receptionist called, “the doctor is ready for Danny now.”

He dropped the magazine he was holding as the names buzzed around in his brain.

Matilda?

“Maddie.”

His mom turned to him confused, “What?”

“I thought your name was Maddie?”

She hesitated for only a second before recognition lit her eyes, “That’s what my mom called me. You remember Grandma?”

He shook his head. So far he hadn’t remembered anyone. “Just the name.”

His dad picked up the magazine off the floor, “It’s okay, Champ. These things take time. I’m sure you’ll have it all back soon.”

He knew that. He really did.

It just didn’t stop it from being so frustrating to be so close and yet so far.

==============================================

It wasn’t until he was alone with his therapist that she asks how it felt to hear his parent’s names. If they felt familiar like his own name had.

“Sort of. Like I’m trying to watch a 3D movie without the glasses on. I can tell what it is but it’s still a little off.” he leans back in his seat and continues, “the weird thing is when I have dreams about my parents I don’t see them as they are. I just see colors.”

“What colors do you see?”

“Teal and orange. Orange for dad and teal for mom.”

“That’s an interesting way to see them.”

“Yeah, but I really don’t like those dreams.”

“Why not?”

“Because they aren’t dreams.” he pulls his knees up to his chest in the chair but knew he couldn’t back out now. He has to just power through it so he can get better.

So he can remember.

“They’re nightmares.”

“Nightmares?”

“The orange one always towers over me. He’s so impossibly tall. The teal one has sharp hands, claws like razors. They’re always so angry. Always yelling at me. Calling me a monster.”

“Those two don’t sound like your parents at all.”

“I know! That just makes me even more confused.”

“Well, why don’t we try to reassociate your parents with something nicer.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well if you’re dreaming them as colors, why don’t we pick new colors. Or maybe something else altogether?”

“Books,” he said simply. “Mom’s like a library full of books.”

“Nice, safe, and quiet. That’s a good comparison.” she notes it before looking up at him again, “and your dad? What’s he like?”

“Peaches? No, bugs.” he corrected then added quickly, “but not in a gross way, in a friendly way.”

The therapist squeezed her lips together in a tight line to suppress herself. She quickly covered her mouth and apologized. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I think I know what you’re thinking of.” she composed herself, “you’re making literary associations. Which is fine, and honestly still works for what we’re trying to do here, but I wasn’t expecting it is all.”

“Literary associations? What do bugs have to do with books?”

“Your parent’s names are the same as book characters in a couple of children’s stories.” Then she smiled fondly, "you know both of those stories have some themes in common. They're about kids who are raised in not-so-nice places, with bad caretakers, who escape from their dangerous homes and find new families. Find people who love them just as they are. Like family should."

He smiled and wondered if it meant anything that his parents' names were the same as stories with happy endings. "Do you think they love me like that?"

He wasn't sure why he was asking. He certainly hoped they did.

She laughed good-naturedly, "of course they do."

"But how do you know?"

Why was he so uncertain?

"It's the little things. You'll see."

==============================================

After he talked through his nightmares he stopped having them.

He was really glad he gave this therapy thing a try. Even if a part of him is still a little uneasy about it. Almost like he’s done something like it before.

But he knows he hasn’t. He had asked his mom and she said no.

Even if he was still having dreams about Melody. Or whatever her real name was.

He also had dreams about another person. Someone else who seemed to know him and dream him recognized. Although he wasn’t sure if they were one person or two. He wasn’t sure what to call them. Eventually, he called them Sawyer.

He figured he would continue with the literary theme. He wasn’t sure why he was so familiar with titular characters, but it felt right.

He didn’t tell his parents about Sawyer.

He wasn’t sure why.

Why he had an urge to hide this from them even though they’d done nothing but love and support him.

But keeping a secret from his parents felt familiar. He just wasn’t sure what secret he used to keep.

==============================================

It had been months and his memory was still a little spotty, but he was managing. He may not be sure about everything in his life but there were things he was sure of.

His name was Danny Fairchild.

His parents were Matilda and James. He got his dark hair and fair skin from his father while his mother passed on her blue eyes and button nose.

They lived in the small town of Salem City.

Due to his memory loss, he was home-schooled.

And most importantly of all, his parents loved him and he felt safe.

[katsubiatch]

Hopelessly Devoted Part 1

So I tweaked some things and changed a bit around. I changed Shinsou’s character to Arata, just because it didn’t make sense for Shinsou to not be a hero. This is probably going to be 2-3 parts or so, I’m still trying to fill out the middle of the story because I already know the ending haha. Just have to fill in the blanks of the start and middle. I hope you all enjoy. (: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Your head throbbed as you tried to concentrate on keeping your eyes open, forcing yourself to breath no matter how hard you wanted to just quit. You could feel blood pooling out underneath you and knew you were a goner if no one found you.

No one would find you, no one would suspect you to be here. You'd just decided to take an extra shift in the ER after your latest fight with Katsuki. What a pain that was turning into.

Your eyes traveled around the intake room, it was a mess now after the man had thrown you around it. You couldn't be angry, he hadn't meant to be violent and was passed out again in his bed.

The ER was busy, and this mans vitals were fine. No one was going to find you in time. You'd die here, never to see Katsuki again, never kiss him or tell him about...

Your thoughts were disrupted when the door to the intake room opened and in came an Angel you were sure of it. The Angel of death to take you away. At this point you'd have anyone if it meant the pain would go away.

The Angel dropped down to his knees next to you, pulling out all kinds of equipment and swearing under his breath. He looked a lot like Arata in his white coat. "What the hell happened?" He sure sounded a lot like Arata too. "Sweet cheeks stay with me." He muttered, a gentle hand touching your cheek. At least you'd have a gentle touch to help you through to the other side...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It all started in a bar, isn’t that how most love stories started now a days? It hadn’t been expected, it had just been a regular night after a long shift that required a strong drink. Bloody patients, drunk people needing IV’s to rehydrate and more tragedies than anyone could count all that and more in the long twelve hours you had worked. 

“Oh my God I thought that would never end. You know I had like three drunk guys feel me up while I was trying to put their IV’s in?” You complained to Arata as he sipped on his beer beside you. He wanted to stay sober just in case you got a bit too tipsy and he had to help you home. The two of you shared an apartment but you were just roommates. 

“You should have told me, I’d do something about it.” Arata murmured in your direction as you scoffed and looked over at him.  “Right, right. It doesn’t bother me that much, at least someone is touching it.” You murmured, taking a long sip from you straw. “Kidding, kidding. I’m just kidding. God they’re so gross.” You shivered, remembering the man that had grabbed you and whispered promises in your ear about how he’d take care of you once he got you home. You’d made sure to fish around in his arm a little, pretending you couldn’t find a vein. 

“Well you know how they are.” Arata shrugged as he finished his beer and leaned back in his chair, pushing the now empty bottle around the table. “They think once they’re drunk they are invincible and can’t get in trouble for anything.” The two of you chatted for a while and you were nice and tipsy by the time it happened. When your whole life changed. 

You’d been going to the bathroom when it happened when your hero came to your rescue like you were some damsel in distress. As much as you liked to think you could handle yourself in situations like this it was nice to be rescued sometimes. Now you didn’t really keep up with hero’s much, you only knew their names from the few times that they’d come into the ER to get patched up from big fights. Even then you didn’t fawn over them like some of your coworkers. After all they were a patient just like anyone else. They were still human. 

Either way you were headed back from the bathroom when you were trapped between a wall and a body. You looked up just to see one of the drunk men from the hospital in front of you, even drunker than before. “See I told you I’d find you again, let me take you home sugar.” His breath smelled rancid, like old beer and fried foods.  “How did you get out in the first place.” You wrinkled your nose and pushed back against the man in front of you, sighing a bit when he didn’t move. “Listen I didn’t agree to anything and I do not want you to take me home so please just let me pass.” You shook your head and attempted to squeeze out under his arm that up next to you on the wall but he was quicker. How he was in his drunken state you weren’t sure but you didn’t have the wits about yourself to question it too much. 

“Oh come on now, don’t be like that. I know you were giving me signals back at the hospital. Girl come on I can show you a real good time.” He murmured, dropping his head down to attempt to give your neck kisses.  “Really no I’m good.” You tried shoving again but you were met with resistance. “Please just let me get back to my friend...” You trailed off as suddenly the mans over salivated lips were pulled away from your neck.  “We got a problem here?” A gruff voice grumbled, holding the drunk man by he back of his shirt. He looked familiar but you couldn’t quite place it. He was handsome if you were going to be honest but it could be the alcohol talking.  “Mr. Dynamight sir... uh no. No there is no problem. I was just having a conversation with this girl here.” Ah so that was why he looked familiar. You hadn’t ever personally taken care of him but a few of the other nurses had been drooling over him before.  “Actually... I was just leaving. Would you mind... maybe walking me back to my table?” You asked of the hero as you looked up at him, knowing technically he was off duty but this was the only thing you could ask of him. You were a bit shaken up, that had gotten too close for comfort and now you were nervous he’d grab you when no one was looking. You just had to get back to Arata. Then you’d be safe. “Yeah, sure whatever.” The ash blond rolled his eyes as he let go of the drunk and you moved to his side. Thank you, you managed to whisper as the two of you walked back. “Thank you again. Really. I took care of him at the hospital and he decided that I wanted him or something.” You shook your head once the two of you got back to Arata who was eyeing the two of you suspiciously. “So, thanks again.” You nod, only getting a gruff ‘just doing my job’ from the man before he stomped off to his table where there were a few hero's that you did recognize. 

There were a few snickers and questions from Arata but you didn’t notice the glances from the hero’s table, not only from the hero that had saved you but also from his friends who were curious about the girl who’d caught their friends eye. Though he’d never admit it, he hadn’t even said anything to them. Arata and you decided to leave with one last glance towards Dynamights table not knowing that you’d seen him so soon again. 

It had only been a few days since the incident at the bar but it was a typical night in the ER. Drunks, car accidents and injuries from bar fights or cooking gone wrong all competing for your attention. You’d been stitching up knife cuts, checking temperatures on sick kids and giving fluids to those who needed it before transferring the more severe cases to be admitted. It had finally calmed down enough for you to finally take a drink out of your abandoned water bottle when someone told you stitches were needed in room 3. A small sigh came out of you before grabbing your supplies and making your way to the room. “Hello my name is Y/N I’ll be your nurse this evening. I heard you need stiches?” You asked, setting down your supplies.  “I don’t need any stiches. I told them that I’d be fine but they wouldn’t listen.” That voice sounded familiar and you looked up from setting things up to see the hero from the other night. Dynamight! The name finally came to you.  “Oh? How do you know that you don’t need them?” You asked with a smirk, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked over the hero.  “You’re that girl.” He stated, looking you up and down. “From the bar.” He hadn’t forgotten you but he had come to terms with the fact that he probably wouldn’t ever see you again. He was presently surprised that he was face to face with you again and now he knew your name. 

“Yes, girl from the bar that has a name. It’s Y/N.” You murmured, holding out your hand only to be met with a confused expression. “Where do you need stitches? Hand it over.” You murmured as he sighed and put his lower arm into your hand. “Mmm that does look a little nasty. Just a few stitches and you should be good to go. It won’t heal good on it’s own.” You should your head and started to get everything ready again. “This is going to be a pinch and a small burn but it’ll feel better than the stitches.” You promised as you injected his arm in a few spots. “Okay I’m gonna get started.”

The two of you made light conversation as you worked and Dynamight watched you. Little things, like the weather and how he’d gotten the injury. He was still in his hero gear so you figured he just came from work.  “Well that is that. You’re all fixed up.” You nodded, setting a bandage over it and taping it in place. “Don’t go messing up my hand work Dynamight.” You smiled at the man, taking care of your mess.  “It’s Bakugou.” He murmured, looking over at you. “Might as well be on a real name basis.” He said as he looked at you. “I mean... if you want to go on a date with me Saturday. Unless you and that guy are together.” He murmured, all confidence as he looked at you. He didn’t usually do things like this but it was something about you that he didn’t want to let get away again. He was just glad none of his friends had tagged along with him. He’d get so much shit from them for this. 

“Oh? If I want to.” You smiled as you looked over at him. “Well I guess that could be arranged.” You pulled out a pen and piece of paper out of your scrub pocket and scribbled down your address and phone number on the paper, as well as your full name. “We are not involved, just room mates.” You smiled and looked at him. “I’d love to go on a date. Pick me up at six.” You murmured, taking care of your things. “See you on Saturday Bakugou.” 

You didn’t know then what would happen, how much your life would change and the ways that it would. But if you had known then what you knew now, well you’d go thorugh it all over again. Even the hard parts.

Tag list

mae-foster

[saturnselkies]

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY 🌟

Continuation and the final part of the playlist Awakened in Starlight I did ages ago!! I hope you enjoy!! Under the read more is the story. Please do read!! 

Thank you for reading and listening, if you do.

ACT I: I could never sacrifice you

1. Sacrifice by Sharon Lyons

A tiny little sacrifice. Her mother would always say, for worlds to turn, some things would be lost among the space between galaxies.

Ouri was young back then, a much tinier dragon, much more impressionable. Now one sacrifice felt like touching a pulsating black hole.

The silver tree bloomed above Ouri. She dug her hands in the golden sand of the cosmos. By her feet the lifeless body of Najwa lied.

“Weaver of Worlds, you must let go.” The leaves echoed through the white room. “Fate beckons you, Scion. It is time.”

Golden magic blossomed on her fingertips and she felt a pang of frightening pain. “I’m sorry, mother. I’m sorry, Silver Tree. I’m sorry, Najwa.”

The room was a golden field, and death became life.

2. Across the Universe of Time by Hayley Westenra

“And the cold, cold wind, it blows me away The feeling all over is a black black day But I know that I’ll see you again And I know that you’re near me”

***

ACT II: I could never forget you

3. Light in Between by Abby Gundersen 

Najwa tried to forget. She really did. Tried to leave everything behind. To be forgotten amongst the cliffs of Desert Highlands.

Shame, sadness, anger; they danced underneath her skin every day. Her dreams were plagued with meadows blooming in the sunlight. Songs of ancient times.

Najwa wondered if other Awakened actually dreamed. Or if she had just ended up in a bizarre predicament. One that would forever be a mystery. Unless…

Unless she found Ouri.

Najwa gritted her teeth and patted Toffee’s back to try and distract herself. The summit wildhorn bleated and rested her head above Najwa’s. “Yeah, I know gal.”

4. God Only Knows by RAIGN

“I may not always love you But long as there are stars above you If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on Believe me”

***

ACT III: And so they dance between knives and lies

5. You Have to Let Go by Adam Fielding

“How could you!?” Najwa shouted. Her hands grabbing at Ouri’s Mordant Crescent outfit. A reminder so grim. A reminder so ugly.

“Najwa, I’m not who you think I am.” Ouri was visibly shaking. Forming words had become hard for her.

“Oh you think I don’t know? The display is sickening.” Najwa pushed Ouri against the wall with such force the nearby shelves shook. Ouri simply stood still, her eyes full of guilt.

“No, it’s not that.” She tried to relax her shoulders, but ultimately failed. Ouri knew bringing this up right now would be either an incredibly stupid idea, or completely destroy their chance of ever reconnecting. “I’m just… following a list of things to do.”

“This can’t be serious.” Najwa’s eyes were pure rage. “Was “Awakening” me part of the list!?“

“No… He didn’t do anything to you. I-” She swallowed hard. “I did.”

It took only a second for her eyes to lose the deep hazel color. Replaced by golden shades and cosmic hues. Ouri was the night sky. The far seeing cosmos. Written all over her skin.

Najwa stepped back in a daze. Her mind was a volcano erupting in the middle of the ocean. “What is going on.” Najwa stepped back as further as she could clinging to her scythe. If she still had a beating heart she knew it would have plummeted out of her chest by now.

“Spearmarshal. Najwa.” Ouri paused. And the universe watched them from the corners of the tapestry of time. “The list is what your people call a prophecy.”

The sudden realization hit Najwa like a crashing wave. All those cryptic dreams. All those shades of gold dancing at he back of her mind. The prairies of starlight. All of it. “Am I bound to you!? You did this to me!?”

“N-no! No! I cut the connection. Your will is your own.” Ouri quickly interjected. Panic was taking over her.

“How dare you!?” Najwa’s grab on her scythe was painfully tight. Tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

“If it were not me. It would have been Palawa Joko! I didn’t want that!” Ouri pleaded. Pleaded to be understood between fate and choice. Between golden threads and shadows.

“You…” Najwa’s anger was like a bursting sun. Extinguishing a galaxy before it was even formed. “You are a monster. I regret the day I crossed paths with you.”

A sacrifice. A hole in the tapestry of time.

“I know.”

The birds did not sing that morning.

6. I Cannot Raise the Dead by The Dark Element

“In a time before us We were both someone else And we can be again We both let wrong one in To keep the right one out And now we’re both without”

***

ACT IV: Until tomorrow begins again

7. Heart Lying Still by Nightwish

The Domain of Kourna was even more dreadful than Najwa remembered; she ended up finding an empty building to sit on while the Sunspears were organizing the attack on Gandara.

She kept pulling at her attire. It felt strange to use the Sunspears’ dervish insignia again. But here she was, ready to help destroy the cause of all the pain in her home.

“Mother?” A voice came from the door.

“Yes, Khalida?” she responded lamely.

“Jeez, I thought you’d be happier. Is not seeing your daughter for the first time in eight years a good thing?” Khalida teased her, raising her eyebrow playfully.

“I- No. I’m sorry, hunbun.” Najwa panicked and tried to get up.

“Hey. I’m just teasing. I know all our wounds are still pretty fresh.” Khalida placed her hand over her mother’s shoulder, signalling her to sit back down.

“Yeah…” Najwa said.

Khalida sat next to her and hugged her knees. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Ha. I should be the one asking you that.” Najwa leaned her back against the wall. Her whole body was tense.

“C'mon, Mom. We might all just die in a few hours.” She elbowed her mother and grinned.

“Gods. When did you become so…” Najwa tried to find words to fill the gap of so many years lost. But nothing came up. She knew it would always be something hard to manage. “Never mind. I came to a conclusion. And I don’t like it.”

“Uhhhhh? Yeah? So early in the morning?” Khalida quipped.

She snorted at the comment. “You know, Ouri.”

“I do know her.”

“I might have said some really. Really. Upsetting things to her.” She shuddered remembering the last time they had talked. It was a chilling sonnet in the back of Najwa’s mind. “I was hurting. I still think she had no right to bring me back to life. But…”

“You see her point now?” Khalida said.

“Yeah… Being bound to Joko would have destroyed every fiber of my morals. I am still here. I am still mostly myself.” She looked at her hands and felt a spark of warmth. “I got to see you again.”

“Then you should tell her that,” Khalida simply offered.

“I think I should just let it go-”

“You did that for eight years.”

“And here I thought I was the mother.” She frowned and crossed her arms.

“Things change. I am a Spearmarshal now.” Khalida smiled.

8.To the Moon and Back by Moonlight Haze

“I still love you so bad To the moon and back and I Yes I miss you daily to the moon and back I’d go anywhere now To the moon and back for you Hope my voice will reach you To the moon and back Time cannot heal scars that lie so deep Inside this void of mine”

***

ACT V: I will cling to the heart between dawn and dusk

9. Between the Lines by Felix Räuber

Ouri and Najwa both stood across each other. The fortress sounded eerily silent after Aurene and the Commander had stopped Joko. Only the faint cheers in the distance, from both the dead and the living, could be heard.

Najwa took a deep breath and touched the grotesquely adorned walls. “This could have been my fate.”

Ouri eyes followed the other woman’s form. She bowed her head slightly, avoiding her gaze.

“I don’t know how I feel about everything that happened,” Najwa continued. “I even find it hard to believe that I am here.”

The former Spearmarshal dragged her feet through the tar. The oozing pools reflected her face in such a distorted manner. “Gross. I wouldn’t want to have this inside of me.” Najwa grimaced.

Ouri bit her lip, trying not to chuckle at the comment.

“Are you just gonna let me monologue?” Najwa pouted. “I remember you being a chatter box.”

“You said you wanted to talk…”

“Always a little too literal, are we?” Najwa walked over to Ouri. “It’s just. I… I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Fix what?” Ouri blinked. Her eyes were gold and shining. They contrasted the beautiful dark blues of her skin.

Much better outfit, Najwa caught herself staring at her curves. The essence of the stars painting her body was mesmerizing. Ouri titled her head at the slight pause.

Najwa coughed and tried to re-focus. “Us.”

Tentatively she reached out for Ouri’s hands. They were glowing in a flame-like effect. Najwa could swear they felt like what one would describe as the heart of the universe. Warm, cold, terrifying, and enticing all at the same time.

“The reason. The reason it hurt so much to know what you did. The reason it felt less of a burden if I was just another Awakened is…” She pushed back her tears. And squeezed the other woman’s hands. “Is because. I.”

“I love you.” Ouri cut her off.

Najwa didn’t need to ask. Najwa didn’t need to understand. Ouri was a Celestial. A Scion of a grand river of the cosmos. A life bearer. How could a life bearer leave someone to die. Someone she loved.

Yet disbelief still colored her blushing face.

“You. You love me?”

Ouri nodded.

Najwa should have known that from the first day they met. Ouri had always been a spark. The fountain of the gentle sun. Najwa connected their lips in a rush of emotion. Soft and willing. Somewhat rough and passionate, too. Full of regrets, mistakes, and guilt. Full of joy, love, and forgiveness.

“I love you, too. Gods, I do.”

Dusk and dawn danced together for the first time in a millennia.

10. Forever by Frozen Crown

“Find in light the essence of the night Say forever Forever Till the stars shine on our hearts Tides won’t last Our time is dying fast But this moment, our moment It will shine bright on our hearts”

***

ACT VI: Spearmarshal and Scion

11. Celestial Dreams by Rachel Currea

“So do I get an honorary Celestial membership?” Najwa’s hair sparkled against the wind. The grey tips had become glowing and golden much like her eyes.

“Well… if you want one.” Ouri laughed.

“Yes, I do.” She grinned widely. “Don’t tell the other Awakened, but this is so much cooler.”

12. Night Will Fade by Beyond the Black

“Somewhere beyond this world Far beyond this life Fate will raise our souls out of the past Somewhere beyond this day Night will fade away Will you follow my final words For tomorrow beyond this world”

13. Into a Dawn by Feridea

“I never let go, of my hopes and dreams I never was afraid, the road is free To find a star, to guide me through this twilight fall Into a dawn”

[damn-stark]

Maybe I was wrong about you - Kai Parker imagine

Kai Parker x Vampire reader

A/N- Finally managed to post this! I hope you like it :)

Warning- mentions of alcohol and just fluff

Summary- After putting Kai Parker in yet another prison world it was time to get him out in order for him to help out with the twins. You had known him before and he was psychopath but now he says that he wants to change...again. And he plans on making you see that change and see that he can care for people espically you. Will he do that? Will he make you see change? Will he win you over?

—

Dear diary,

Theirs a person getting out of a prison world that I thought I would never see again. We have to get him out to see if he can help the twins avoid the merge. It’s been years since I last saw him, I wanted it to keep it that way but it’s unavoidable. He caused a lot of pain to all the people I cared about so the sooner he helps the sooner he leaves. I hope.

-

Are people capable of change? Yes. But not him.

But you needed him, he was the only person that can help the Saltzman twins avoid the merge. And even if you didn’t want to see him ever again Alaric was right we needed him.

“I still don’t like this idea.” You say to Alaric as you both wait for the twins to pull their crazy uncle out of his prison world.

“Yeah me neither but we need him.” Alaric told you sharing the same worry.

Their was a flash of light and the chanting stopped, the spot across from you that was empty now was occupied by none other than Kai Parker. He stood their confused at first, he was quiet as his eyes searched the room until he landed on you. When he saw you standing across from him he smirked. You rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms on your chest.

“Why hello there.” Kai said breaking his silence. You sighed and stepped away.

Alaric and you explained to him everything that he needed to know and nothing more, it was hard not tear his heart out of his chest as he sat across from you. With his smug smile and his wandering stares but you knew you needed to resist. For the twins. You explained that you needed his help and that if he did then their was a chance that he would be able to live in the real world. As much as you hated it, he just wanted to make sure that after he helped he wouldn’t be placed back or killed.

“What?” You asked him in an annoyed tone as you felt him look at you.

“Oh nothing just you know getting used to seeing other people.” You rolled your eyes and continued reading the books from his family coven. As you couldn’t stand his close presence you stood up and sat further away from him. But even still you could feel and see his wondering gaze. “Kai I will rip your eyes out of their sockets if you don’t stop looking at me. Because either way you don’t need your eyes to help with what we need.” He laughed at your comment and walked to sit closer to you.

“You making threats? I like it. You’ve changed from the last time I saw you. Theirs more of a fire to you.” He said only making you more annoyed. You set the book down and finally met his gaze and his very taunting grin.

“Yeah well stuff has happened I had to change so now please be quiet and help.” You say as you picked up the book again. It was quiet for a moment but as you saw from the corner of your eye Kai put his book down you knew he was going to open his mouth.

“Let’s say if I know a way to help I want you to promise me that you won’t place me back in that prison world.” Kai said making you place the book down once again.

“If you help then maybe just maybe I’ll tell Ric not to place you back...but then again you’re crazy so I can’t promise you anything.” His smile fell completely and his face turned into a serious one.

“Believe me or not y/n I changed, after being stuck in their ive had time to think and think and change.” He said only making you scoff.

“Really? Because you said that last time and you murdered your sister and your entire coven so sorry if I don’t believe you.” You told him as you stood up to leave but as you did he vamped to stand in your way.

“You know I’ve always had this little crush on you, ever since I saw you for the first time when I got out of my first prison world. And I know that you’re nicer then your other friends were.”

“So?” You interrupted him.

“So I know you have a kind heart and see the good in people and I’ll show you that I changed I’ll prove it to you... you’ll see.” He said with once again his signature smirk.

“Oh please you’re not capable of change or for me to see good in you. I once tried and you proved me wrong so no Kai theirs no good in you or second chances.” You pushed past him but he once again got in your way.

“You know Damon was a bad person and he did a lot of awful things and yet you and all of your friends forgave that...and don’t make any excuses because I know what’s he done.” You stood in silence not being able to find words to even defend Damon. Because you knew that what Kai said was true. “I’ll prove it to you.” He said with a wink before he left the room, leaving you with nothing to say in return.

-

Weeks had passed and their was an answer thanks to....Kai, but their was still things you needed to avoid the merge.

In the time that had passed it was unmistakable to see how Kai was different. It made you more cautious and even a little paranoid, he did say that he wanted to change and maybe he was doing that but it was just hard to believe that. Mainly because him being nice is rare and something you’re not used to seeing....But maybe just maybe he was trying...maybe.

“In order to find this very old powerful object I need more power.” Kai said as he walked over to you.

“You’re a vampire now you have all the power you need.” He chuckled at your response and you just looked at him confused.

“Yes but my coven is dead along with their power so I need more power and the older the vampire the more powerful, so give me your hand.” He outstretched his hand so you could place yours on top, but you didn’t do as he said because you didn’t know if you wanted to believe him. Yes he hasn’t done anything to prove you wrong as of now, but you still had a hard time believing what he said. “Come on this thing is going to be hidden under hundreds of cloaks so I need more power.” You hesitated but you placed your hand on top of his.

You ignored his smile and the way his thumb brushed against your knuckles. Even if the pain was minimal you could still feel it as he siphoned your power. And yet even if their was slight pain you couldn’t stop thinking of his hand on yours, you didn’t want to think about it but you did as much as you tried to push it away.

“Found it.” He said as he let your hand go.

“Where?” You asked as you tried to put some distance between the two of you, but he still got closer. He smiled and then reached for your jacket pocket, your nose scrucnched up in confusion but you didn’t move. He looked at you and you met his gaze for a second before turning away. He then reached inside and pulled out what he was looking for. He smiled and threw it up to only catch it.

“Really Kai?”

“I just needed an excuse.” He said as he put it on the table.

“Whatever.”

-

Dear diary,

Today...today is my birthday, the big 500. I thought I stopped celebrating birthdays centuries ago but no. Lizzie persists on throwing a party because as she says it’s not everyday someone turns 500. So we’re having a party and well I was never one to say no to the twins. But that’s beside the point Kai says he’s close to getting what he needs and I really hope he’s saying the truth....I see change in him..but I won’t tell him I see it...atleast not yet.

“I still think this is ridiculous but thank you girls I appreciate you guys doing this.” You say as you turn away from the mirror and looked over at the girls. They both had big smiles on their faces.

“You look so beautiful!” Josie said as she clasped her hands together.

“I did do a great didn’t I?” Lizzie said, right after they both ran to give you a hug.

“Thank you girls for helping me get ready and this party.” You said to them and they both smiled sweetly in return.

“You know I think our uncle Kai is definitely going to be swooning over you.” Josie said making Lizzies face scrunch up in disgust.

“Eww Josie please never saying swooning or ever mention what you just did that’s gross.” Lizzie said and you couldn’t help but laugh not at what she said but the way she said it.

“Why? It’s obvious that he has a thing for y/n.” Josie responded back only making Lizzies face scrunch up more.

“Because Josie! If you didn’t know our uncle is a psycho!” You wanted to comment that he want the same as he once was but you didn’t want to end up falling in argument that could last hours.

“Okay girls lets go they’re waiting for us downstairs.”

As you got closer to where the party was being held you could already hear the booming of the music and thanks to your vamp hearing you could hear some conversations and laughter all from the students you taught and some you didn’t. Either way the party was nice but you couldn’t drink since their was students in the room and well your drinking buddies were human now and Caroline was miles away. The party was also just a distraction for what the twins to get their minds off the solution to avoid the merge which we got closer to everyday. It’s a supposed to be a good thing but we’re all scared that anything could go wrong at any minute.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” A wide and happy smile grew on your face as you heard everyone shout. Your happiness only grew as you saw the faces of Caroline and Bonnie the people who you thought you wouldn’t see. You also saw Elena and Damon. But even still with all your friends here your eyes locked with someone else’s in the room.Kai’s. He was standing not that far away from Damon. You smiled softly at him and before you could read more of his reaction you were being pulled by the twins.

The evening went on with students saying happy birthday to you, you caught up with your friends who were more like family but a little distant since now everyone lives their own life some here or some traveling the world.

Even with the party going great you still found yourself alone outside with tears and a sad smile as you held onto a photo of you and your husband...Tyler Lockwood, who had left you with a gap in your heart.

“Hey.” You heard Kai say behind you, you didn’t have to see who it was to recognize who the voice belonged to, you turned nonetheless.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” You asked as you made room for him to sit.

“I could ask you the same thing, I’m out here because I noticed that the guest of honor was missing from her party.” You smiled at his comment only making him smile more. “You shouldn’t be out here crying on your 500th birthday.”

“Theirs a song that says the opposite.” You joked making him chuckle in response.

“I did bring this.” He said as he pulled out a bourbon bottle that he had hidden. The sadness you felt was gone without even knowing and without knowing the little time he was here he was already filling the gap Tyler had left. “Okay I took it from Damon but it doesn’t really matter.”

“My hero.” You say as you grab the bottle from his hand. The next few minutes it was quiet but it wasn’t an awkward silence. You felt him look at you and when you turned to meet his gaze it was soft something rare for him but it was the way he only looked at you.

“I just want to say that you...you look uhh very....” you completely turned your attention to him as you noticed he was struggling with what he wanted to say. You weren’t the only one who noticed though, hidden in the distance was all of your friends who were watching and listening carefully at your interaction.

“What’s he saying Caroline?!”

“Damon be quiet or shes going to hear us!” Caroline whispered shouted. But even she couldn’t keep to herself as she tried not laugh. “He’s trying to give her a compliment.” As soon as Damon heard that, he was the one who burst out laughing but was quickly pulled away by Elena.

“Very.... beautiful.” The last bit he had said in almost a whisper. You smiled sweetly at him and noticed how flustered he was. Again a rare sight for him but one you liked. It showed that he wasn’t the man from before he was actually changing.

“Thank you.” You said as you reached for his hand that was resting on the bench. He was surprised by the interaction but he didn’t take long to return the gesture. “Thank you for everything, for what you’re doing for the twins.. thank you” you rested your hand on his shoulder only making him feel more nervous as he never got this kind of interaction from anyone until now with you. And he didn’t plan to lose that feeling. “Maybe I was wrong about you...no I was, you did change..thank you.”

“I told you.”

.

.

.

[subloganrights]

So. Strictly speaking, i generally recommend working yourself up to soft tissue piercings.

Like, most people start off with lobes, get some cartilage done, then do some nose, them some face, then they start going a further, like nipples or genitals.

So, keeping that in mind, i would generally recommend getting your septum done first, just because its much easier, usually less painful, easier to find advice and a piercer with good experience, etc.

However! Theres nothing wrong with just. Going for it. Personally, i got my tragus (the little flap that kinda covers your ear canal? Its hard to explain, but its generally a higher level ear piercing) done when the only other piercings i had were standard lobe. Not even like. Second lobe. And they were closed!

So yea, its totally fine if you just wanna rip the bandaid off and go for it. I can definitely tell you the after getting my tragus pierced (twice! Because it had to get taken out bc i needed an mri but no one could figure out how to get it back in so it closed lol) things like lobes and regular cartilage feel like nothing.

I also noticed that you said you partially wanted nipple piercings soon bc of halloween. And uhhh, tbh, i dont know how healed theyll be by, what, saturday?

Piercings heal from the outside in, so theres a chance that it might look fine? It really depends on how fast of a healer you are, to be perfectly honest.

Heres a link that details the healing process.

Soooo yea. If you wanna risk it, go for it, if not, thats totally fine, they should be fully healed in time for next year!

And on the septum side,,

So, ive never experienced it myself, nor have i read up on it much, however. I had a friend that got her septum pierced. From what she said, it wasnt that bad, and even the pain after wasnt terrible. The two biggest issues for her were that it was the tip of her nose that hurt (though it mostly just tingled, and really only hurt if it was bumped or hit), and the crusties from healing were pretty gross. Though that was mostly just cos its pretty hard to get in there and clean it without shifting the piercing.

But yeah! Its really up to you and your specific situation and what youre ok with leaving to chance!

(Also, sidenote, i highly recommend h2ocean for piercings. Its a special mineral saltwater blend that works wonders)(also also, feel free to let me know if you wanna continue this in dms lol, im fine with that)

~ Jon, the piercing anon that has way too much time on its hands lol

Don’t worry I’ve had my ears/cartilage areas pierced 5 times, my nose once, and my bellybutton so I’m not a piercing virgin by all means, I wouldn’t dare go straight for the nips dw.

I was mostly joking about the halloween thing, my piercings take a long time to heal anyway and my body is very prone to bleeding, swelling, and infections so even if I do keep my piercings in the best condition I can my body will most likely hate it anyway - I just wanna look hot af tbh

and I really do want my septum done, I’ve got the side of my nose done but I’ve heard septum hurts more but hhhhhhh worth it, right?

you can feel free to DM me if you want but tbh I know all about piercing care and healing I just need someone to tell me to stop being a weenie and book up (I did book twice for my septum but got cancelled bc, you know, that rona)

[grotesquegabby]

Might be a long answer but I wanted to ask X3 What is your opinion about every single killer in DBD?

awe shiet~ here is the list and how I feel x3

GhostFace: I just played against him and seeing him run by all I could say ahh its the sexyman himself mmmmmm.. x3 I love Ghostface but I make a lot of them mad but they arent the only killer I make mad. x3 I leved mine on the switch up to level 6 but still havent played as him. I cant wait~ They do be sneaky which makes sense its Ghostface. I also like going up against him cause the sound of his knife swing is just (9 u^u)9 beautiful~

The Shape/Micheal Myers: big and beefy mmm those broad shoulders~ Its terrifying going up against him cause just like Ghostface kind of a small terror radius plus his theme music gives me feelings. Not all of them terrifying x3 lol anyway~....for some reason Ive ended up as the obsession more often with Micheal. Lucky me? x3

The Executioner/Pyramid Head: They nerfed his ass because it was too powerful, and only a few people still have that skin for pyramid head. Bring back his ass! (9 *O*)9 ahhhhh, but mm I like him, Ive been I think...moried by Pyramid head twice. ANd hes the only killer to have moried me at the moment. He moried me each time because I pissed off whoever was playing him x3 I kept being a ...distraction.

The Trapper: Ive played against some new trappers and recently some who played him really really well. Ive heard a little of his story and eee sounds like a daddys boy. Really looks up to his dad and it did not seem like a healthy role model whatsoever but im still working on getting story since I havent played as killer just yet. Gotta be in the right mind set. uwu But this is an alright killer its easy for me to avoid traps and usually get out of them if I have Feng as my character.

The Wraith: Ive had....a time with the wraith. Recently a lot of good players have been the wraith and its frustrating but this is a killer i do feel kind of bad for. I wish I knew how the wraith became the wraith and looking like how he do but his little backstory got me feeling bad for him. But damn his invisible ass be making me mad x3 Like theres a survivor right there but no you gotta come at me. maybe he knows something about me that the survivors dont i dont know x3

The Hillbilly: I dont know if Ive won against the hillbilly but his story makes me feel bad for him too. His parents got what was coming to them. But poor guy part of mes like cant we just show this killer some love and compassion and maybe he can be better ;7; but hes gotten me a lot x3

The Nurse: The nurse i find to actually be an easier killer to face cause she moves pretty slowly but the last one I faced downed two survivors and stood right by them waiting for me and the other person still standing to come heal them. I think we managed to heal them but I dont remember if we all escaped or if she got them again. uwu I also...feel for her backstory as well. shes been through so much emotionally and mentally...im not surprised about what happened to her but i feel it could have been avoided somehow...again I feel bad for her.

The Hag: another killer I feel bad for due to their backstory...but I do dislike going against her..and her charms.....Her fucking decoys scare the shit outta me and its a bitch and a half to unhook someone x3 but it does keep one on their toes. Ive only escaped her once every time after Ive died x3

The Doctor: This bitch...ive noticed playing against the Doctor usually results in camping....letting people bleed to death and being used as bait for other survivors. Usually the Doctors are assholes from what Ive seen most of the time anytime I go agaisnt a Doctor its a lot of the same tactics.

The Huntress: I feel for her story but i also dislike how she took care of the little girls she kidnapped. Like...why did they starve to death first of all...she knows what starvation is so yeah...anyway Ive faced Huntress many times. Always narrowly avoiding her thrown hachets. fun x3 Ive tricked her many times too even when she camped this one round I faced a few days back. (- =w=-) hehehe still fixed that last generator~  But shes pretty decent to go against. I think there was a time one tried to help me exit but.....didint do so good they kept dropping me by the door expecting me to get up but i was too injured for it. then the entity got me.

The Clown: hate him...one; he ugly. two: he nasty and not in the good way. Three: i dont like his outfit..its gross. four: i find his aesthetic awful. its displeasing to my eyes. It never described what he did to his victims but.....something about him just I really dont like. Could be the fact hes kind of like John wayne gacy but....something makes me feel...gross u.u So out of most of the killers besides the Doctor the Clown does make me uncomfortable. and I love clowns but not this clown.

The Spirit: Her story made me sad..and angry. Like oof....I dont have all the words to describe how I felt for her. But shes an interesting killer, ive faced her only a few times. I can hear her scream and it sounds so sad and painful though like part of me wants to run to her and be like ahhhhhhh ill scream with you, screamings cathartic. x3

The Deathslinger: faced him once? I dont think I lived...I was the distraction too many times in that round and probably got hooked near dying so x3 but his gun is cool glad I didnt get grabbed by it though. Apparently as it drags you in he walks to you.

The Oni: big~ I mean spooky x3 I like this guy. Ive faced him a few times. I dont know his story I dont think I’ve read it yet but I do like him. Is it true him and the spirit are related, if so thats neat but damn...is her family cursed or something like whaaa! its terrifying when he gets all powered up and charges. I saw him run down the map and I was shook!

The Demogorgon: the noises...mmmm. anyway x3 recently made one mad~ stayed near me while I died on the hook. But I do enjoy going up against it as long as its one of the open maps. those building maps like the school or hispital ;7; i hate it, i hate going against any killers in those type of maps.

The Plague: I personally dont like vomit x3 but I do like The Plague. shes pretty~ (- uwu-) I faced her in the hospital and died too but like x3 it was interesting. Ive never been vomited on before oh wait nevermind babies did that to me. but by an adult no never x3 her story is interesting but I also do sort of feel for her as well cause of it.

The Legion:  Didnt know these were teens till you mentioned it x3 I like their masks. Every time still...i played against legion again this week and it was one of the bunny skins. x3 they got me it was the first time a legion played saw me and got me. pretty nice playing against Legion though.

The Pig: Played against her once I think i dont think i got the trap on my head but i dont fully remember. uwu seeing the little puppet made me smile~

The Cannibal: I dont really care for the movie series despite not seeing it but ive seen enough clips and heard anough to know I wont like it. Facing him is a bitch and a half with his flailing. The last few times Ive played against him everyone died.

[heartau]

yuta + vampire au?

hello hello! i’ll be writing this in bullet point form because ive got really bad writers block :( !!

warnings: smut, various mentions of explicit gore, mentions of death and one mention of suicidal tendencies (not romanticizing though bc thats gross!)

work title: flame

being alive for more than a century can take quite it’s toll on you, even more so if you’ve spent the last 300-something years mourning over the death of a partner who carried half of your heart’s soul within them.

the scene has been iterating constantly in nakamoto yuta’s mind ever since the scene had occurred in front of him, in the middle of a battlefield, the year 1784.

the first vampire war, just a few years after he was first turned into one of them; a monster.

it was mortifying to him, the lack of bloodshed that stained the fields juxtaposed the mountain of beheaded bodies that eclipsed disarrayed towers.

tableaus of his lover’s head being sliced from their neck with just the flick of a specific blade, the killer’s face, of whomst housed flames in her eyes laughing as if it were a victory, flash in his mind before he shakes his head to rid of the frightening memories, focused on balancing himself atop the rooftop of his apartment building.

it’s the year 2019 and he lets out a sigh into the cool march air as he watches the cars and people littering streets below him continue on about their evening.

even if he were to jump, he’d only survive - vampires are cursed with immortality, no matter what they were to do to achieve the afterlife, they’ll only wake up alive and their bodies regenerated, as if nothing ever happened to it.

they stay in the same form since the moment they were bit.

“greetings, your highness,” his roommate’s voice causes him to turn towards his direction. “i have acquired some devastating information to bear.”

“stop talking like that, taeyong,” yuta mutters, swinging his legs over the ledge. “it’s 2019, people are gonna think you’re a weirdo.”

when the vampire war of 1784 came to its conclusion, yuta was victor, having savaged the remaining humans after watching his lover’s beheading; thus, he was brought to reign.

and he’s been reigning ever since.

reigning over what, exactly? who knows.

taeyong, his royal messenger (now, technically, one of his roommates), is one of the only vampires that he knows of these days.

“your highness,” taeyong cocks his head to the side. “i’m afraid i do not comprehend what you mean.”

yuta lets out a sigh. “never mind,” he mutters. “what’s the news?”

“i’m sure you are familiar with the blade of bloodlust?” taeyong says, and a jolt of pain goes through yuta at the mention of the weapon that was used to kill his lover. “it’s been stolen.”

“what do you mean?” asks yuta, furrowing his brows.

“it’s been stolen.” taeyong repeats.

“yes, i heard you the first time,” yuta lets out another sigh. “what do you mean it’s been stolen? isn’t it under heavy guard at the historical archives?”

he recalls the two muscular vampires who stood guard at the iron doors that housed the blade - surely no one can get past them both, with their burly arms and tall statures.

“it was, yes,” taeyong lets out a sigh as he pushes up the thin-lensed glasses perched atop his nose. “but upon visiting with doyoung this morning for further inquiries, we had found the bodies of both jung jaehyun and suh johnny. both bodies beared no head.”

yuta stood up from the cement ledge with widened eyes - if his heart were still beating, it would be thumping at a million miles per second at hearing this.

“so what you’re telling me is…” yuta’s voice is shaking.

he had rid of all the humans capable of holding that blade in 1784 by tearing them apart limb to limb and painting the cobblestone streets with their velvet ichor, bent upon mutilating them to the best of his abilities after what they had done to his lover.

there’s no way that a vampire hunter would still exist in the year 2019.

taeyong nods once. “a vampire hunter has been reborn, your highness.”

later that night, after discussing more on the matter with taeyong and doyoung, his royal strategist, he couldn’t bare to keep himself within the walls of his apartment.

the blood bags that he kept in the dodgy refrigerator in the kitchen were all gone, thanks to the recently turned teenager named mark lee, whom doyoung had bitten out of spite after the teen successfully tripped him as a dare by his friends.

“maybe if you calmed down a bit, we wouldn’t be out of our only life source right now, doyoung.” yuta scolds his strategist, who only rolls his eyes in response.

once upon a time, the man used to heed yuta’s word; the title of king was still a blessing those days. nowadays, as they settle into modernized settings, it would be a rare morning to hear the words “king” slip from doyoung’s lips.

“yeah,” mark says from the corner of the run down apartment. “what he said.”

“do you want me to go get some more food or something? i’ll break into a farm if that’s what you want. animal blood is just the same.” doyoung says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“no,” yuta sighs, slamming the door of the refrigerator closed. “i want you and taeyong and mark to stay here. there’s a vampire hunter on the loose and the three of you could survive against one.”

“and what are you gonna do?” doyoung quirks an eyebrow. “kill a random person on the street? what if they’ve got a family to come back to?”

“which is why i’ll find a criminal or something,” yuta mutters. “stop talking to me like that, doyoung. i’m your king, remember that.”

“right,” doyoung says. “king of the last ten vampires roaming the earth.”

yuta rolls his eyes before slamming the door closed, pulling on his suede jacket as he walks down the halls of the apartment complex.

they reside in the dodgy part of the city, so finding a criminal to bring home as food will be an easy task.

yuta walks the cool streets with his hands buried in the pockets of his suede jacket, eyeing every person who passes him by.

a group of giggling women, obviously having just left the bar down the street - harmless. yuta continues to walk.

a man standing on the stairs leading into an apartment complex, holding flowers behind his back, probably picking up his date - also harmless. yuta continues to walk.

a group of highschool boys cackling as they dash down the cemented streets, probably up to no good - a bit questionable, but they were all just highschool boys, so harmless. yuta continues to walk.

yuta continues to walk until he reaches the edge of the town, the rich skyscrapers of the high end districts letting him heave a sigh before pivoting on his heel to go back to his apartment and to let doyoung break into a farm.

but before he’s able to give doyoung the greenlight, he hears whimpering deriving from deep within a dark alley way.

the sound causes him to perk up, effortlessly stealthy when he walks to where he hears the sound.

“please,” he hears a shaking voice. “if you wanna rob me then go for it, just, please, don’t take my necklace.”

he looks around the corner and sees a tall, burly man dressed in all black cornering a sobbing girl, you, holding your purse in front of your body. from the looks of your outfit, you must have also just left from the bar down the street - but as yuta sniffs that air, he smells no alcohol coming from you.

“crying’s not gonna do anything, lady,” the robber gruffs. “give me your fucking necklace or else i’ll take it off your neck after i blast your head off.”

that sentence lets another sob wreak through you as you fall to your knees, clutching your bag tightly. “please, this necklace is special to me.”

“and? i don’t give a shit.” the robbers mutters, digging for something in his back pocket. the lights coming from the entrance of the alleyway reveals the outline of a gun. “i don’t got time for this, bitch making me wa-”

his sentence is cut off by silence, you hear the dull engine of a car passing by just down the alley way. you open your eyes, expecting to look down the barrel of a gun, only to see a different man standing in front of you.

“are you okay?” the voice is gentle and velvet when you hear it, looking up to see a kind face peering down at you. his hand was outstretched, offering to help you up.

“where did he go?” you question him.

“who?” his voice sounds slightly dejected, but still remains kind.

you take his hand hesitantly as he helps you up to your feet, heels wobbly as you find your balance. you rack your mind for words to say, but you can’t seem to find the correct ones for your situation.

“you should get home,” the man gives you a therapeutic smile. “it’s a strange town, it’s unsafe this time of night.”

you stare at him for a few seconds more, truly unable to form words, and you nod tightly. “but wait.” a beat. you search his eyes, they seemed to be glowing with a red flame. “who are you?”

but before the sentence escapes your lips, the man is gone.

that night, you went home with shaking hands and the lingering memory of the man with the burning flame in his eyes.

“taeyong,” yuta asks as he take a swig of his blood-filled cup.

the four of them, yuta, doyoung, taeyong and mark, are seated on the floor of the rundown apartment, feasting on the blood of the criminal that yuta had taken down.

taeyong turns his head towards him, setting his own glass down on the coffee table. “can mates be reborn?”

taeyong cocks his head to the side. “what are you inquiring, your highness?”

“i met a woman tonight,” yuta toys with the edge of his glass cup. “when i looked into her eyes, they held… a familiar fire.”

taeyong grows silent for a second as if he were pondering.

“your highness, there is a first time for everything.”

the next time yuta encounters you, it is during his day job as a barista at a local cafe.

(someone has to pay the bills; taeyong would freak out customers with his medieval speak, doyoung would quit after one squabble with a customer, and mark is still too recently-born to control his bloodlust.)

“hey, you’re the-” “can i take your order, miss?”

your eyes make their way to his nametag: yuta.

“yes, yuta,” you say, sharpening your eyes at him. “i’d like one tall iced caramel macchiato, and i would also like to speak to you when your shift is over.”

when yuta’s shift ends, your cup is already empty, finding solace in the screen of your phone. “you wanted to talk?” yuta asks, pulling up a seat next to you.

you waste no time. “who are you?”

“huh?”

“who are you? how did you know i was in trouble last night? where did that man go? he seemed to disappear into thin air.”

yuta lets out a sigh as he leans onto his elbows on the wooden table in front of you. his eyes are searching into yours, a wry smile taking over his face. for a second, even you felt a little inferior underneath his gaze but you quickly snap back to your usual gait.

“are you going to answer me or are you just gonna smile at me like that?”

“actually,” yuta says. “go on a date with me, and then i’ll tell you what happened.”

you roll your eyes. “and how do i know you’re not planning to do whatever you did with that guy to me?”

a grin stretches on his face. “i’ll take you out someplace where a lot of people are,” he says before putting his hand on top of yours. an electric spark seemed to erupt from your touch which caused his smile to widen. “trust me.”

and he did just that.

you and yuta’s first date took place at an amusement park - at first it started off with you nagging for him to tell you what really happened during the incident but you soon forgot about the entire incident the moment you screamed at the top of your lungs when the rollercoaster dropped. you spent the rest of the date clinging onto him as he dragged you from ride to ride and winning you multiple toys.

after, he took you back home and you promised to let him take you out again.

you and yuta’s second date took place at a simple 80’s themed diner, in one of the better spots of your town. as the neon lights flicked onto yuta’s skin and seemed to set his eyes even more ablaze, you sipped on your strawberry milkshake as you listened to him ramble about the daily occurrences he has to face.

you quickly forgot the reason why you even began to let yuta take you out when he kissed you on your doorstep, that night.

“your highness,” taeyong knocks on yuta’s door, one night, a few months later. “doyoung and i would like to speak with you about something.”

yuta turns his gaze from the book he was reading to his royal servants, one of whom remained loyal to him all these years. “yeah, come in?”

taeyong walks in, standing opposite to taeyong while doyoung lazily sits on yuta’s bed, crossing his legs. they both stay quiet for a while, and yuta furrows his brows confusedly.

“what is it?”

“i’m sure that you’ve noticed that mark hasn’t been coming out of his room for the past few months,” doyoung says, raising an eyebrow. “any reason?”

yuta ponders for a moment and then shakes his head. “no?”

“your highness,” taeyong sighs. “you’ve been arriving home with the stench of human blood for the past months. it’s absolute torture for the young boy. he’s just turned recently, so his senses are heightened.”

yuta closes his book. “he was turned a year ago, he should be fine by now,” yuta mutters, already deciding to dislike the topic of conversation. “why, do you guys have a problem with it too?”

“if you’ve got a blood bank, share it with us,” doyoung says, matter-of-factly. “i know you’ve been going out to get your share of blood, and the scent is fucking delicious, and we need it.”

yuta scoffs. “i don’t have a blood bank, doyoung,” he says. “although i don’t know why you’re acting as if i’d share it with you. maybe if you continued to be loya-”

“there you go again with your loyal shit,” doyoung groans. “there are only a few more vampires left on this earth and you’ve barely done anything to track down the hunter that’s been on the loose for the past few months. last i heard, qian kun and his coven were wiped out in beijing just last week. why would i be loyal to you if you haven’t been loyal to us? arent you supposed to be our king?”

“doyoung,” taeyong sighs. “that’s enough.”

“doyoung,” yuta stands up, towering over doyoung. “i tore apart every single vampire hunter with my own two hands, to the point where their existence were wiped out for more than a century. if it wasnt for me, your corpse would be buried in the ground without a head.”

doyoung stands. “you tore them apart nearly a century ago,” his voice grows louder. “you tore them apart a century ago and thats the only thing you’ve got underneath your belt to remain king but guess what!? there’s a new hunter! and they haven’t been killed yet! and if they fucking find us, yuta, the existence of vampires will be gone.”

“maybe that’s what should be,” yuta mutters. “we’re monsters.”

“are you saying you’d rather be human scum than to be immortal?” doyoung widens his eyes. “that you’d let a fucking vampire hunter win over your own kind?”

“doyoung, that’s enough.” taeyong stands in front of doyoung before the jet-black haired man could say anything more. “your highness. whoever the person you’ve been meeting is, they’re not worthy of your admiration. i beg of you to end it now before our coven is in danger.”

when yuta shows up on your doorstep, the flame behind his irises seem to burn deeper than how they usually do.

“oh, hey babe,” you say, as you let him in. your apartment was in disarray, clothes strewn everywhere. “sorry for the mess, i was just unpacking my stuff from my trip to ch-”

“i need you.” yuta nearly growls, backing you into the wall. your jaw becomes slack as you widen your eyes when your back meets the wall, his lips coming into contact with yours in a flurry of desperation.

when he pulls away for air, he’s panting, pressing his forehead against yours.

“babe, what’s gotten into you?” you ask him, half amused, half turned on.

“i just miss you a lot,” he says, peppering your neck with kisses. “i was lonely here while you were having fun abroad.”

you let out a moan when you feel him nip at one specific spot in the crook of your neck, his tongue licking over the spot to lightly sooth the pain. “well, you’re not lonely now.”

sex with yuta is not only physically draining, but emotionally as well - each time you find yourself entangled in your bedsheets with him, he’d let out all the emotions that he’d been facing the past few days, as if he were yearning for a clean slate at the end of it.

and while he lets out those emotions, he ends up being needy, which makes him rough - even while he kisses you tenderly, you can’t help but scream every time his hips snap back into yours.

even now, while you hover above him, arching your back as you letting out screams of pleasure while he thrusts his cock inside of you again and again from underneath, watching your face contorted in bliss although you’re sure that your neighbours have grown sick of hearing the two of you at times like these.

he pulls you back down towards him, hands fumbling when he flips the two of you over as he continues to rut into your hips while he cups your face to kiss you in an effort to mute your moans, but even then, knowing how far you break just because of what he does to you fuels his ego.

“you gonna cum baby?” yuta growls, pinning your hands down to your side as he watches your eyes roll to the back of your head. “you gonna cum from my cock?”

“fuck, yes, yuta!” you mewl, voice broken and hoarse from screaming all night. “keep going, k-keep going.”

you feel his cock reaching deeper and deeper inside of you as if he were planning to leave a mark within you, your bed beginning to move with his hips as it squeaks with every thrust. a few more ruts and you feel the familiar knot appearing in the pit of your stomach, your walls tightening around him as you feel the burning need to scream his name form in your throat once more.

“yuta!” you scream, unable to grasp at anything for support due to his hands pinning your entire body down, the feeling inside of you grows more intense. “i’m gonna cum! i’m gonna fucking cum!”

“cum for me baby,” he mutters, hips snapping in and out of you. “cum for me and scream my name. tell your neighbours who owns this dirty little cunt. tell your neighbours who fucks you so good.”

and you do, back arching off your mattress as you cum, lewd words stringed with his name escaping past your lips. the sight alone is enough to push yuta over the edge as well, littering your stomach with white as he pumps himself onto you.

for the next few seconds, you lay in bed in order to recollect yourself as well as to let the numbness slow down between your legs. yuta, however, pulls the sheets over him before he drops his legs to the floor, now sitting on the edge of the bed.

“yuta,” you grab his hand. “come lay with me.”

he stays silent for a while, and you hear him gulp. “(y/n), i have to tell you something.”

you furrow your eyebrows as you wait for him to continue, pulling the sheets over your naked body.

“i,” he stammers. “i can’t keep lying to you.”

“what do you mean?”

“when we first met, that man who tried to attack you,” he whispers. “i… i did something to him.”

there is a beat in the air before he keeps talking.

“i heard you crying, and so i went there, and i saw you and… you just felt so familiar to me.  and i had to save you, so i killed that man and,”

he puts his face in his hands.

“(y/n), i’m a monster. i’m a monster and you shouldn’t love me.”

“why, yuta?” you whisper as you sit up to move closer to him.

“because, that man… i killed him and drank his blood,” his whispers. “(y/n),”

“yes, yuta?” you get up off the bed.

“i’m a vampire.”

the air between the both of you is silent for only a second, yuta screwing his eyes shut as he braces the impact of you possibly not believing him and laughing in his face, or of you screaming in fear before begging him to leave your house and to never see him again.

he fears for the worst, hoping that whatever happens, the least hurtful comes to truth.

but while his eyes are screwed shut, he does not hear you at all - he does not smell you, he does not feel your presence.

he only opens his eyes when he feels the cool, sharp metal against the skin of his neck. he gasps when his eyes meet yours - the same flames burning in your irises, but now they burn clearer.

you never housed the eyes of his lover.

you housed the eyes of his lover’s killer.

you smile at him sweetly while you press the blade of bloodlust against his skin.

“your highness,” you whisper. “it’s nice to see you again.”

[multi-goodness]

Discomfort

I know I said I would have this story done a while ago, but I also didn’t expect this story to end up so long. But it is also well deserved for all my followers who continue to follow me even though I’ve been MIA a lot lately. Enjoy as always!

------------

Sylvie was throwing her hair in a bun when she heard a knock on the door. Being 8 months pregnant meant that she had little energy to do much with her appearance. She figured as long as she didn’t look a mess, she was okay.

She walked to the door, or more wobbled, and she opened the door. She was surprised to find Burgess on the other side. 

They were friends, of course, but the only people who went to her appointment for the baby was Eva, Antonio, or Gabby. Mainly Eva since she wanted her to bond with the baby before she gave birth, however, she had exams this week and knew she couldn’t afford to miss studying. 

Besides, she felt like this may be a gross appointment since they probably would prepared Sylvie for birth and knew nobody wanted to hear that gross details about their stepmother. 

“Hey,” Sylvie said, surprised. “Let me guess, Antonio sent you?” She guessed.

She nodded her head, “Yeah, I’m sorry I know you would rather it be him,” she shrugged her shoulders. “Obviously,” she said a few seconds later.

“No, no, it’s okay. I knew all about this before I dated a detective so I’ll never hold this against him.” She walked inside to grab her purse, keys, and phone. 

As she walked outside, she locked and closed the door behind her. “Is he okay?” She asked, knowing she might not want to know what he was up to, but she was his wife after all. She needed him to be okay.

“Oh yeah, he’s going undercover,” she saw Sylvie’s face and shook her head, “nothing dangerous, I promise. He’ll probably call us before the appointment is even over.”

“Okay, thank you,” she said as she walked over to Burgess’s car. “Not just for letting me know, but for this too. I know this is the last thing you want to do right now.”

“Are you kidding?” Burgess face broke out in a smile, “It’s a baby appointment. It’s way more fun.”

Sylvie laughed and she opened the passenger side. Burgess helped her into the car and she smiled softly at her. As she finally got settled in, she buckled her seatbelt and sent Antonio a quick text.

“Are you ready?” Burgess asked a few seconds later when she got settled inside. Sylvie nodded her head and Burgess pulled away.

“Have you guys thought of any baby’s name yet?” Burgess asked.

She shook her head, “Not really. We’re indecisive right now. But I think once we finally meet the baby, we’ll know for sure.”

“Absolutely. See if the name fits her.” 

Sylvie smiled and she nodded her head. They both settled into an comfortable silence. Her thoughts went to Antonio, hoping that he was okay. She couldn’t wait to see him later and tell him about her appointment.

That was her last thought before everything went blank

-------

“That was an awesome bust,” Antonio said as he rejoined his team an hour later. Thankfully he didn’t have to go undercover for long, he really hated he couldn’t make Sylvie’s appointment. But after everything was counted for, he was planning on going home. 

“Antonio,” Voight said with a seldom look on his face. Antonio looked at the rest of the team, minus Burgess who he asked for a favor, to drive Sylvie to her appointment, who looked like they all got delivered some bad news.

“It wasn’t a good bust, then?” He asked, assuming that’s what was wrong. 

“It’s Sylvie,” Voight said, not being the one to beat around the bushes. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking at everyone, “What?”

“She was---in an accident,” Jay confessed. 

“Come on, let’s take you to the hospital,” Voight said.

“She’s at the hospital?” Antonio asked.

“Not yet....” 

“Where is she?” No one was answering him and he was growing frustrated. “Where is my wife?!” 

“Still at the scene. Come on, I’ll drive you,” he knew Antonio wouldn’t have listened to him to wait at the hospital. 

------

Burgess groaned as she opened her eyes. It was taking forever for her eyes to readjust, to let her know where she was. But as soon as they did, panic set in.

“Sylvie? Sylvie? Oh my god.” 

In the distance, she heard the firefighters sirens and ambulance and thought thank god. 

She turned to her right and saw that Sylvie was unconscious and her head was bleeding. 

Oh god, her own head was killing her. As she raised her hand to her forehead she saw there was a gush on it. But not as big as Sylvie’s. Why was it always the pregnant one who was more injured? She thought.

“Sylvie!” She called out to her. “Hold on! Hold on!” 

She tried to push open her car door, but to no avail. She wasn’t giving up on rescuing Sylvie. This was her partner’s wife and baby in her hands, she had to ignore the pain. She leaned down and took her gun from her waist holster and broke the window using her gun. 

“Ugh,” she groaned as she slid her body out of the window, trying not to get any glass on her.

She ran to the other side, making sure Sylvie was still breathing. She breathed out a sigh of relief. She tried opening her car door but it was stuck. 

“Come on! Come on! Please, come on!” She was so focused on trying to get the door to open that she didn’t notice Severide and the rest of squad coming up. 

“Burgess!” Severide called out, trying to get her attention. “Hey, we got it.”

Hearing his voice knocked her back into reality. “Oh thank god. Please save Sylvie!”

“What?” He asked, not realizing she was trying to save Sylvie. He rushed to the passenger side and gasped. He checked her pulse, “Strong and steady.” He looked over at Burgess. “I need you to stand to the side.”

“No!” She said, stubbornly. “Antonio trusted his family’s lives in my hands so I’m not going anywhere.”

Before they could go back and forth and argue, Sylvie groaned, making them snap their heads in her attention. 

“Oh god, it hurts!” Sylvie screamed in pain.

“Sylvie!” Severide looked over at Sylvie, “we’ll get you out of there soon, just hold on.”

“My head hurts,” she whimpered.

“Just hold on, okay?” He looked over at Burgess, “we’re going to take off the back window, so you climb in there and keep her calm. The only way we can do this fast is if she stays calm, okay?”

She nodded her head, letting herself move to the side so they can work.

“Tony, Capp, break the back window so Burgess can calm down Sylvie.”

A few minutes later, but what felt like an hour to Burgess, they finally took off the back window and helped Burgess climbed through. She placed her hand on Sylvie’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” She reassured her. 

“Hey, Burgess!” The paramedic called her name to place the neck brace around her neck. “I know this is the last thing you want around your neck but I need to do this, okay?” Burgess said before she placed the neck brace. 

“I want Antonio,” she breathed out. 

“Just take a few deep breaths, it’ll be okay. You’re in good hands.” Not like Burgess needed to tell her that since she was literally being treated by family. But it was all she knew what to say.

“No, no, it won’t.” Sylvie said as she moaned in pain, “it hurts so bad.”

“Hey, we got this,” Burgess said as she looked down at Sylvie and noticed the blood on her pants. Not wanting to freak out Sylvie, she tried to calm her down. “Hey, I think you’re in labor.” She really hoped so anyway. “We need a medic!” Burgess called out from the inside the car.

A few seconds later, a paramedic came over, “What’s up?” He asked.

“She’s in labor.”

“There’s nothing I can do about that until the doors are jarred open. Hold on, she’s going to need fluids.”

“I need drugs!” Sylvie screamed in pain. “This is not how it was supposed to go! It was supposed to be me and Antonio breathing together, getting our baby out together!”

“I know this wasn’t the plan and I am so sorry but we’re in this together, okay? I am not going anywhere until this baby is out.”

She nodded her head, fighting back the tears because of the pain. 

The paramedic gave the needle and the bag to Burgess. “What? No, I can’t do this!” She said in a panic whispered. “I became a cop because I can’t this.”

“Yes, you can. She needs fluids otherwise her and the baby will not make it. You can do this,” he reassured Burgess. 

Burgess sighed and took the IV needle from him. “Fine.” Burgess took Sylvie’s arm as she heard the paramedics orders. “Find the biggest vein her arm,” Burgess was having trouble since Sylvie was dehydrated, “Just look for a blue vein,” she nodded and found one, “Okay, next take the needle and slide it in parallel to her arm towards you.” She took a deep breath and did as she was told. “Now, when you see a flash of blood, you got it.” How ironic she would have to do this, considering Sylvie was also a paramedic, but she was fighting through consciousness and couldn’t help her. “Okay, okay, I’m in.” 

“Okay, now pull out the needle and tape it,” Burgess nodded, that was probably the easiest step. “Hook up the tubing,” she nodded and was relieved when it was done. “All you have to do now is squeeze the bag.” She held the bag to her shoulders and gave it a tight squeeze. She was happy when she saw Sylvie opened her eyes once again.

“I’m almost there,” Kelly said.

“Please hurry,” she whimpered in pain.

“It’s okay, just breathe,” Burgess said, squeezing her shoulder.

“I’m a detective and that’s my wife in the car!” Burgess heard Antonio’s voice and smiled slightly.

“Sylvie, Antonio is here.”

“He is?” She then called out his name. “Antonio?”

“I’m here baby,” he said, standing by the back window. “Severide is going to get you out.”

“Burgess, you need to get out so we can get her out,” Severide said and Burgess nodded her again, getting ready to exit the vehicle.

“No no, Burgess. Don’t leave me.” Sylvie said, grabbing her hand with tears in her eyes.

“I won’t. It’s okay, I’ll be right over here.” She pointed to the back of the car. “We got you.”

As Burgess got out of the back window, Antonio helped her to her feet, “What happened?” He asked with panic in his eyes.

“I don’t really remember,” she said honestly. “All I remember is we were talking about the baby and then we fell into a comfortable silence, you know, I think she was nervous about the appointment. And then I see lights coming out of nowhere and I couldn’t---I couldn’t get out of the way. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, this is not your fault, okay?” He said resting his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll get someone to pull the cameras and to see what happened.”

“I’ll go look for it,” Burgess suggested but they were interrupted by the loud noise.

After a few long minutes, the noise cut and the firefighters were getting ready to placed Sylvie on the backboard.

“No, Burgess, you can’t. You need to go to the hospital and get yourself checked out. You’re hurt, too.” He said, eyeing the cut on her head.

“I’m fine, I’m just worried about Sylvie,” Burgess replied.

“And that may have kept you from passing out,” Antonio fired back.

Before Burgess could say something back, although they both knew he was right, they heard Sylvie calling for Antonio.

“Antonio?” Severide called out this time. He run over and was relieved to see that Sylvie was okay for the most part. She was placed on the stretcher as Kelly told her they’ll be by the hospital later to visit her.

Antonio grabbed his wife’s hand and squeezed it tightly. The paramedics started checking on Sylvie and the baby, she started crying.

“It hurts, Antonio, it hurts,” she whimpered, trying to hold back the tears but it was no use.

“I know, baby. But we’ll be at the hospital soon,” he promised.

The paramedics started running with the stretcher with Antonio running with them. As they loaded Sylvie in the back of the ambulance, Antonio climbed inside and rejoined the hand he was holding previously.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He said, hoping to keep her calm down.

“No, no, it isn’t,” she said, shaking her head. “Our baby is coming.”

Antonio looked at the medic that was hooking Sylvie up to machines. “Let me look,” he instructed.

He gasp a second later, “Yeah, we aren’t going to make it to the hospital. Your baby is coming now.”

“I know!” Sylvie said, scared out of her mind.

“You got this, baby.” He said as he placed a kiss on her forehead. 

“No---No. I-- I can’t,” Sylvie said, shaking her head. “You gotta keep this baby inside, please. What if---what if something goes wrong? I won’t lose the baby, not after everything we’ve been through today.”

“Hey, no, the baby will be fine, you will be fine. But the baby wants to come out now.”

“No!” Sylvie said, tears streaming down her face. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“I know and I wish it could happen the way we planned it, but I know you can do this, baby.”

Sylvie breathed in and out and then nodded her head, “Okay. Okay. I’m ready.”

Antonio moved behind her and pushed her shoulders to lift her up. He bent his knees on the bed to give her more support. 

“Push,” the medic said.

As Sylvie felt her contractions, she started pushing. “Ahh!” She screamed in pain. Between her head and the labor, she was already exhausted but knew she couldn’t  give up now.

“You’re doing a great job,” Antonio said, encouraging her before she had to push again.

She breathed in and out before another contraction came and pushed again, this time harder. She just wanted this to be over with and for her baby to be okay.

“Okay, just one more big push,” the medic instructed.

Antonio held onto her shoulders as she pushed again, but this time, the push was enough for the baby to make an entrance. And as soon as she did, she started crying.

“Aww,” Sylvie said smiling and giggling at the same time. “She’s already a Dawson with those loud lungs.”

“Hey,” Antonio said, and then smiled at his baby girl, “You did such a good job, baby.”

As the medic was cleaning up the baby for them, she turned her head to look at Antonio, “Can you call the kids and tell them to meet us at the hospital?”

He nodded his head, “Absolutely.”

A few seconds later, the medic placed the baby on Sylvie’s chest. She was still covered in a little bit of blood but Sylvie didn’t care. She had her baby so she was content.

Antonio leaned down and kissed her forehead and then kissed the baby’s head. His eyes were glued on the baby so he didn’t notice when Sylvie closed her eyes until the machines started going off.

She laid there limp while the baby was on her chest so he grabbed the baby before she fell from her arms. “What’s happening?”

The medic wasn’t saying anything, all he was doing was reaching for an oxygen mask and placed it over her face. 

“What is happening to my wife?” The baby sensing Antonio’s fear and was crying against his chest. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her for warmth. 

“Her pressure bottomed out,” he said without saying anything else.

But a few seconds later, the medic screamed to his partner, “You better get us to the hospital in two minutes or we’re going to lose her.”

“No! You’ve gotta save her. Please,” Antonio said, tears welling in his eyes. “Please,” he said this time desperately. 

“Please save my wife...” His voice drifted off.

The next few minutes, everything happened so fast. Antonio kept whispering, begging them to save his wife’s life, while also trying to keep his baby girl warm and also calm. Their voices sounded far away when they got to the hospital and got Sylvie out of the ambulance. They were rattled off information about her that he wasn’t sure what it was since it was medical words. He didn’t even remember stepping off the ambo himself, or getting into the hospital. All he remembered was when a nurse tried to grab his daughter from him.

“Huh?” The voices started coming back to him and didn’t sound far away.

“Can we check and make sure she’s okay?” They asked.

“Oh, yeah. Thank you.” He let them take the baby, making sure she was okay.

“She’s beautiful,” the nurse complimented.

He nodded his head and remembered saying a thanks before he rushed off to check in on Sylvie. He saw that Natalie and Will working on her and then the nurse closing the door when he came all the way towards the door. 

He felt like he was pacing back and forth towards the room for hours, which only was a few minutes. If he wasn’t just a detective and also a father and husband who witnessed what he did tonight, he was sure they were going to yell at them.

Finally, Natalie stepped out and called out his name, “Antonio?”

He stepped in his tracks and walked closer to the room, “Please tell me she’s okay.”

“She’s okay. Between her injuries and the blood loss during the delivery, her body went through a shock but she’s good now.”

“Thank you. Can I----can I see her?” He asked.

She nodded her head, “We’re going to transferred her to the maternity floor when a room becomes available. And when the nurses are done with your baby girl, we’ll bring her to you guys.”

“Thank you,” he said and he walked into her room and headed towards her. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Sylvie smiled slightly and nodded her head. “Come here.”

He walked over to her and sat on the chair next to the bed. He set his head down on the bed, collecting his emotions. For the last 4 hours, he thought he was going to lose his wife and baby.

Sylvie ran her hands through his hair and smiled, “We’re going to need a name for our baby girl.”

He nodded his head and lifted his head, “But can we discuss that later?”

She nodded her head, “Of course.” She smiled but then her smiled faded when she looked at the look in his eyes. “Hey, whatever is on your mind, tell me.”

“I thought I lost you,” he shook his head and then he lifted her hand into his. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

“Always,” she said as she stroked her thumb in the side of his hand. “Hey, is Burgess okay?” 

He nodded his head, “she should be here somewhere. I told her to come get checked out.”

Before Sylvie could respond, the nurses came in to move Sylvie to the maternity ward.

-----

A few hours later, Sylvie was sitting up in bed and holding their baby girl in her arms. 

“I delivered her but she looks nothing like me. She’s all you, which is a wonderful thing.” Sylvie said as she smiled, in awe of her daughter.

“That’s not true. She has your eyes,” he pointed out.

“Isn’t all babies born with blue eyes?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not sure, but I bet she keeps hers.”

“I love her hair,” Sylvie said as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I just hate that she wasn’t born in a hospital.”

“She just proved to us that she’s like her mother in the best way, she’s a fighter,” he said, smiling at Sylvie. 

Before Sylvie could respond, Antonio got a chimed on his phone, “The whole family is in the waiting room.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for all that. My head is pounding, but you can take her down to meet her big family,” she smiled down at her baby girl sleeping in her arms. “I do want to see Burgess though. I need to thank her.”

Antonio wasn’t going to argue with his wife; especially right now. Whatever she wanted, she would get. He nodded his head as he stood up and took the baby out of her arms. “I won’t be long,” he promised, knowing he couldn’t stay far away from Sylvie for too long right now.

------

Antonio walked into the waiting room with the baby in his arms, but before he let anyone grabbed her, he wanted Burgess to see her first. “I don’t know how I can thank you.”

“That’s what partners are for,” Burgess said, shrugging her shoulders. Her head was bandaged and so were her arm. She didn’t noticed she cut her arm from climbing out of the car but the doctor told her she was lucky she didn’t sustain anymore injuries and discharged her. “How is Sylvie?”

“She’s resting, she sends her love,” he said to Burgess and to the entire waiting room. “Although she isn’t up for a lot of company, she does want to see you,” he said to Burgess.

“Oh, okay,” she said and she walked away, heading towards Sylvie’s room.

“I’m so sorry dad, I should have been there for Sylvie,” Eva said, immediately feeling remorse. 

“This is not your fault. I’m glad you weren’t.” Just worrying about Sylvie and their baby was enough worry for him. “Say hi to your baby sister,” Antonio smiled widely as Diego and Eva cooed over their baby sister.

--------

Antonio returned to the room a little while later after everyone had their chance with the baby. 

“Is she hungry?” A groggily Sylvie asked.

“I think so,” he said as he handed Sylvie the baby and watched as she cradled the baby against her.

“So, I was thinking of the name Juliette? That way she can be named after your partner but also have a name of her own?” She suggested.

“I like it,” he said, smiling.

“And I don’t think she was hungry,” she said, looking down at her sleeping daughter on her chest.

“She must have been so scared,” Antonio muttered. 

“Come here,” Sylvie said as she moved over to let Antonio in the bed with her.

He smiled and he climbed into bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her while his finger stroked his daughter’s cheek. “I love you both so much,” he whispered as his eyes closed.

“We love you too, so much,” she said, her eyes already closed and simply exhausted from the trauma her body experienced today. 

[livelovelaug-h]

Irreplaceable you pt 1

Sam x reader

Summary- inspired by the movie irreplaceable you. Sickness/cancer and a lot of emotions. Definitely grab a box of tissues.

You: "What if we stayed in bed all day?"

" That sounds like the best day ever. We should stay here all week."

You: "What if we got bored?"

"Us, bored? When have we ever been bored?"

" What if we got hungry? What would we do for food?

Sam: "Well, we could order takeout and have it delivered right there."

"you know dean would come in and make us get up."

Sam laughs "Stop. Stop worrying."

~~~~~~~

Full disclosure:

I didn't have to worry about any of that, because this is where my story ends. So does yours, by the way. So does everyone's.

It's okay. Really.

Most of it I don't miss at all.

One with nature.

Really.

Calm. Peaceful.

But then, there's Sam.

Sam was... is the love of my life.

Sams walking to your grave. You narratoring: " Hi, Sam."

Sam by your grave: "Hi, y/n."

But let's start at the beginning.

~~~~~

Even with being a hunter, you were so excited. You were late for your period, it had been a couple weeks late. Now it felt like you were bloated like maybe a baby bump showing.

"Sam?"

"Hey what's up ?" He answers as you walk into the library.

"I kind of have some good news." Siting down next to him.

"oh yeah what's that ?"

You smile big "well... we need to make a doctors appointment. Because... I think I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period for about two months."

His turn to smile real big "really????" You nod.

"This so great, I'm gonna be a dad.!" He hugs you and kissed your forehead then nose and then lips. "And I'm gonna be a mom."

You set up your doctors appointment for about a week later. You were getting some stomach pains. You got up to throw away your wrapper when:. "ah ouchhh".

'Why does this hurt so much.' you thought.

You were waiting for the doctor to come back and confirm your good news !

There's a big picture of a baby inside of a belly showing the insides and sam says

"that picture makes it look gross and painful."

"that's not helpful!" The doctor comes in:

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting."

"Um, y/n, I have some difficult news. The blood test shows that you are not pregnant.

Oh. Sam grabs ahold of your hands and squeezes them.

" Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay." It felt like someone just ripped your heart out but you couldn't believe it. Sam started rubbing your arms and hands.

"I guess that's okay. I- I mean, the whole thing was kind of a surprise... Yeah. We probably weren't even ready."

" Right-"

"It-it-it's just.. its weird 'cause, um, I know it's super early but I really feel something there." You say.

"The sonogram shows that you have a mass in your pelvis roughly the size of a tangerine. It can mimic pregnancy."

"A mass?"

"What kind of a mass?" Sam asks. He looked pretty discouraged to.

[Dr. Michaelson] "I don't want you guys to panic, because it couldbe nothing."

There's this moment

when everything changes.

You look back, and there was the moment before.

See that person?

Flashback to a few minutes -

"It's not helpful!"

She's thinking about whether she's hoping for a boy or a girl, and tiny fingers and toes, and then...

[Dr. Michaelson] "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting."

[you] and now Suddenly...

End of flashback

~~~~~~~~

You and Sam were laying down in bed:

"At least we won't have to pay for college." You say.

"Unless it's a really smart tumor... Too soon?" He says.

You sigh "It's too soon."

"A tangerine is better than an orange." You say.

"Or a grapefruit."

"Right. Or, um... What's bigger than a grapefruit?"

both of you say "A watermelon."

Cas can't heal you because he's human so there is really no other option.

.... At the doctors again .....

Did I say that was the moment?

[Dr. Kessler] "It's two tangerines and a grapefruit."

Correction, this is the moment.

"That's a lot of fruit."

[Dr. Kessler] "Uh, the tests have shown that it is cancer. And I know how hard this must be to hear. It's incredibly rare in someone your age. It's just... It's just terrible luck. Now we can talk aboutoptions whenever you're ready."

"Is there one that doesn't involve dying?" You ask.

[Dr. Kessler] "Uh, I-I've already consulted with a colleague, and after the initialsurgery, there's a clinical trial I'd like to enroll you in"

"You didn't answer my question."

Did he answer my question?

[Dr. Kessler] "We don't like to make predictions. But in addition to your treatment, I want to talk to you about your quality of life. Uh, we can help with pain management and some palliative care. And also some people have found great solace from supportgroups. I know this is a terribleshock, but let's take it one day at a time."

You knew you would go out one day probably hunting, but not like this. Not cancer.

"hello yes I would like to cancel my subscription to you guys."

"oh why is that?"

"I just have cancer now so I figured I wouldn't really be exercising."

"oh that's terrible. Are you sure you want to cancel?"

"yes . ... I am."

~~~~~ later that night ~~~~~~

Sam: "how you feeling?"

"I'm scared."

"It's-It's gonna be okay."

"What if I die?"

"We're gonna fight this, I'll always be there for you"

~~~~

Your laying on the floor because They say after surgery there's gonna be some minor discomfort.

It's Stage IV cancer.

Nothing is minor.

Nothing is comfortable.

Your doctor talking :

"So, let's, um, let's take another look at the proposed model for auto-associative memory and its constituent neural network."

'Or not. Let's not and say we did. Class dismissed.' you think.

you're walking to the other clinic and the guy greets me. "Hey."

"Hi."

"How's it going? I'm Dominic."

"y/n, Nice to meet you."

"I'm gonna be running your treatment suite."

"Treatment suite? "

"Oh, yeah, don't get excited. It doesn't even have four walls. Uh, go ahead and grab a seat right there. For the next time, you're probably gonna want to bring your own pillow in from home. You're also gonna need your cell phone with headphones and grab a magazine. Some of these guys tend to hoard 'em. You're gonna end up reading an old ripped up copy of Duck Enthusiast.

"Oh. It's okay, I don't read Duck Enthusiast. "

"Yeah, well, you will. All right, feet up. " he says.

"Uh, yes, you will feel like shit after this, but it's different for everybody. And no, your hair isn't gonna fall out right away. And besides, it looks like you have plenty of it, so you're doing good. Uh, and if you need snacks, you got to bring them from home."

Great. Just great.

You walk into one of the support groups.

"Hey."

"Come on in. We're just getting started. " the girl says. "Go grab yourself a hook and yarn."

One of the people in the group start saying "have you heard of Catholic yoga? It's a full Latin Mass with vinyasa yoga positions, and I come out... "

"You serious? " someone asks. "yeah!"

"How is Estelle holding up?"

"She's good. There's a new hawk in Central Park. Every morning we go out there and watch the little guy. I hope she keeps up the bird-watching after I'm gone. With whatever new guy she's banging.

[laughs]

"Welcome to group." they all say. "It's the way we roll."

" We have fun. "

"Cool." you say. The end of session finishes up and you start walking away when the guy who was talking about the bird calls to you.:

"The whole point is to mingle. "

"Not feeling up to it. " you say.

"Neither does anybody. That's why we do it. Myron. Multiple myeloma. You've never heard of it? Stay a while. " he says.

"I'm not really a mingler. "

"Not a crocheter either, apparently. "

"Didn't have time for pointless hobbies then, really don't have time for them now, and I'm especially uninterested in discovering that crocheting is a metaphor for healing or whatever."

"What you're feeling is totally normal." Myron says.

"You know, I wish people would stop telling me that totally insane things are normal."

"Have you looked around? "

"But you just accept that? You just accept everything that's going on? You make jokes about your wife having a new boyfriend?"

"I don't accept it, but in the event that I do kick the bucket, I hope she does find a boyfriend. Somebody nice. Less well-endowed to be sure, but nice. "

"Well, I just think I am in a different situation. Sam and I met when we were kids, and then started dating 10 years ago."

"How old is he? "

" Thirty-five."

"Yeah, he's gonna go through a major slut phase."

You laugh.

"I also have Tourette's."

You- "Good to know."

"Yeah. You come back."

"Nice to meet you, Myron."

"Nice to meet you, y/n."

"And thanks for the advice. "

" All right"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you gonna go through a slut phase?" You ask Sam.

"What? No. Why would you say that?"

"You're not even thinking about it?"

"That's the absolute furthest thing from my mind right now. It's further than like meeting someone on Tinder." You chuckle.

"Okay, but Tinder can't be that far from your mind because you just said it, which means you had to be thinking about it, which means you're thinking about this too."

"Yeah. I'm busted." Sam says.

"I'm serious. Look at you. The puppy-dog eyes.

"What?"

" This is a disaster. "

Sam: "What are you talking about?"

"You don't know. Because you have no experience. Women are gonna eat you alive."

" I can take care of myself."

"I know But what if you can't? Who's going to get you to go to bed and stop researching? Who's going to make you real food?"

"you don't make me real food."

"Yeah, but I would, hypothetically. "

"Well, our hypothetical food has been in the freezer for like a year." You got up and started near the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"Figuring out how to cook a real meal."

"Now?"

"No time like the present."

"How do I cook a chicken?" You say into the phone.

[Siri] Let me think about that.

Okay, I found this on the web for "How do I cook a chicken?"

"It's gonna be amazing."

~~~~~~~~~~

Just 'cause you're dying

doesn't mean your life stops.

Sam has been through so much so maybe if you found him a new girl, he wouldn't think about your passing.

In group support-

"And so, uh, when my numbers came back this time, I just, honestly, I just thought I can't keep fighting."

[Kate] "Jim, you don't have to go there. 'Cause it's all about attitude. "

"Well, let's let Jim have his process."

[Kate] "Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I just think that his process should be more positive. Everyone is entitled to... to be sad."

"Thank you."

"You know what I'm loving these days is meditation. And I... I know it sounds trite, but I just have been feeling so blessed every time I sit there in silence. Maybe you could try that now?

You laugh.

"Or we could laugh."

"That's okay too. "

" Sorry. I'm sorry. Just... Some of these women are so cheesy. "I want to dip you in whipped cream and put my cherry on top." What does that even mean, anatomically speaking?" You ask.

"Using a sundae model as a sexual proposition. It is confusing. I have to s... " Myron says.

"I mean, cherry... cherry's got to be a hymen, right?" You ask.

"Probably a busted hymen." You giggle.

[Kate] "Mm-hmm."

"I... I, um... mine broke on a horse. And me, I was born without one. So... It was my favorite horse, though. " ......

"Okay, uh, that's about it for today. "

~~~~~~~~~~

"Were you sexting just now?" Myron asks while you sitting down looking through tinder.

"Let me have my process." You say.

"Your process is sexting?"

"You're the one who said Sam would go through a slut phase. I thought you were crazy, but then I thought about it more, and he's gonna be a chick magnet. he already is And the worst part is, he's gonna have no idea how to handle it because he's going to be too sad. He hasn't dated to many people in his life. He's gonna be lonely and vulnerable. He already lost his fiance."

"Classic rookie mistake. " Myron states.

"What are you talking about? "

"Thinking you can do something to lessen the loss. There's a word for what you're doing. It's a technical term. You want to know it?"

You: "No, thanks."

"Anticipatory grieving.' Trying to cope with the loss before it happens. So, Meryl over there writes a birthday card to her husband for every year she's gonna be gone, and Jim... makes a video montage of himself as Santa for all the Christmases he's gonna miss with his kids. It doesn't change anything. Look, what do I know? My advice? You're hooking him up, concentrate on a booty. Yours, you know, it's... it's flat."

You laugh "My booty is not flat."

"You have a terrible ass. "

"Fuck you."

"Here, give me that. Oh, you got a match. Sexypants89."

"Okay, let me see that."

~~~~~~~~~~

You started interviewing girls that Sam got a match on from tinder at a coffee shop.

To be continued.

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis (8): “don’t stop me nooooooooooooooooooow”

[Specific-Summary]: With senior year approaching, some stresses are inevitable, and they’re certainly not looking forward to them, but for now it’s summer and it’s okay to breathe a little while longer.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes, Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing  

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters] Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14)

---

 V: why hello everyone, it's been a long time since we’ve talked

V: are you having a lovely evening? I think the weather is superb

Rem:,,,i

Rem: im scared,,,

Pat: uh 

V: why?Im perfectly calm, perfectly calm calm acadkasdlk

Rem: lo can you confirm

L: He is not calm

V: I AM NOT CALM THE FUCK THE FUCKTJKJ

Rem: ah much better 

Pat:whats going on???

L: Apparently the school invited a couple of colleges/ investors to the junior exhibition/auction/funraiser

V: **execution

Rem: oh shit that sounds important 

V: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT, EXTREMELY, THESE FOOLS BLEED MONEY 

Rem: huh i can find

Rem: myself a nice rich 

Pat: please dont finish that sentence 

Rem: I was going to say boyfriend, i was going to say boyfriend ok ;) 

Rem: some of us dont have cute boys falling into our laps 

Ro: jokes on you im the cute boy in his lap 

V: /gross/ 

Patt: roman seems surprisingly calm about this??? 

L: He’s literally sitting in Dmitri’s lap right now, he’s not thinking straight. 

/five people are typing/

L: Absolutely not. Unoriginal. Cease and Desist right now. 

Rem: you’re no fun :(

V: he is fun, he just don pun

P: bullshit ive heard him pun with my own two eyes 

P:wait a second 

V: anyway ro will  be the same  belligerent mess later on boyf or no boyf 

R: kiss my ass

V: he’ll :) do :) it :)  for :) me :) 

---

“Roman, you have to get ready,” Dmitri said, unable to stop himself from leaning into his touch. Roman continued running his hands through Dmitri’s hair, in pajama pants and a half buttoned white blouse. 

“You’re so tense,” Roman hummed, resting his head on Dmitri’s shoulder, twirling a stray strand of their hair. It was getting rather long. 

“And you’re not,” Dmitri yawned, slumping further back onto his forearm, pulling Roman on top his chest, “What's got you so giddy?”  

Roman smiled, leaning down to kiss him quick, “Guess.” 

Dmitri closed his eyes, “Did that job call you back? Or is it the art contest?” Dmitri asked, getting another kiss instead. 

“Uh, did you finish that book you borrowed from Logan?” 

Roman sighed, rolling his eyes, “Yes, I’ll tell you about that later, but,” he said, sitting up to get better leverage,  and pushing back Dmitri’s hair, “I’ll… give you a better hint,”

A knock sounded at Roman’s door, twice, Dmitri stiffening beneath him. 

“Roman, you boys ready?” A soft, but clear voice called, from behind the door. 

“Yeah, almost mom, give us a minute,” Roman said.

She said something again in Spanish, tone teasing and Roman’s eyes shot wide.

“Mom!” he whined, still not bothering to move, “Yes, I’m going with Dee. No, you do not, absolutely do not, need to send Virgil with us, I’m an angel.” 

Dmitri couldn’t contain his snort and Roman shot him a warning look. 

“Okay, love, but I want to celebrate you as well, okay?” 

“Okay,oky--” Roman said, waiting for her footsteps to go away, before redirecting his attention to Dmitri, “She must have gotten off her shift early.” He explained, apologetic. 

“It’s fine, she’s coming to the exhibition tonight, right?” Dmitri asked, finally relaxing. 

“Mhm, she’d never miss it,” Roman said, “Or at least she tries, work always has her on call...” 

“Huh,” Dmitri mumbled, eyes unfocused, “W… What were you going to say earlier?”

Roman’s face softened, “That I…”  he rolled off of Dmitri, his hands fidgeting, “...I’ll-- I’ll tell you later, we do need to get going,” he said, “Oh! And I don’t know where my fancy pants are, so you should totally help me, babe.” 

Dmitri smiled, unsurprised. 

---

SipSipSipin: would it be inappropriate to turn my shirt into a crop top

Hotleg: ye it's inappropriate / if you're a cop/

PattOnPattOff: im pretty sure we have to stay in dress code rem 

Hotleg: if you’re a coward, perhaps

TheVirgin: shut the hell up youre in a sensible button up and slacks

Hotleg:SO ARE YOU

Hotleg: /AND/ that isnt following dresscode, thats respecting my mother.

Hotleg: if she wasn’t coming id be in that cute skirt i got last spring 

TheVirgin: that is definately not in dresscode, but seeing as (1) i have the same skirt and (2) im not a fuckin cop i cannot argue, contiue 

Hotleg: damn straight

/five people are typing/

Hotleg: GODDAMMIT 

---

“Holy shit, look at that car Dmitri,” Roman unclipped his seatbelt, craning his neck out the window, “Dmitri, Dmitri-”

“I’m looking, I’m looking,” He said, smile slow. 

“No, you’re not,” Roman pouted.

“My grandfather has the same car,” Dmitri said with a shrug, “It’s a hobby of his, emphasis on 'hobby'. I’ve never seen that man drive a day in his life.” He tilted his head, ”Kinda like you.” 

“I know how to-” Roman’s face contoured, pained, “I, Mm. Okay, so I can’t, but-but I’m learning AND I’m not homophobic.” He crossed his arms. 

“Oh, believe me,” Dmitri said, mildly amused. “I know that,” He reached across, adjusting Roman’s collar, “Though I might need more evidence to confirm...” He added on, in a lower tone. 

 Roman squeaked, “Oh, well would you look at the time,” he said, opening the car door. 

“What?” Dmitri’s smile was something to behold, “Did I say something inappropriate?” 

“It’s not what you said, it's how you said it,” Roman said, pointedly not looking at him, “If you continue to say things like that I might combus--” Dmitri’s phone buzzed, and Roman looking at Dmitri expectantly. 

Dmitri’s face visibly slackened and he sighed, picking up the phone, “Ma’am?” he said,  brows furrowed, listening, “No, ma’am, I can’t; I’m at the exhibition, remember? I told you yesterday--and this morning--” Another pause, his eyes flickered over to Roman, “It’s really important to me...It’s a required event…” he sighed, jaw ticking, “A lot of Grandfather’s colleges are going to be here, it’d be rude to not appear. Can it wait ‘til tomorrow?” He relaxed,  “Thank you--”  His lips pressed into a thin line before he slumped over the steering wheel. 

After a minute or so, he inhaled, sitting up and muting his phone before looking over at Roman, expression calm. 

“You ready?” Roman asked.

Dmitri got out of the car regardless. 

---

!!!taglist!!!

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[thaiteastacey]

Traveling abroad while pregnant: 6 months pregnant all through Morocco and Turkey

So a little overview about this post

 I will be going over tips and my experiences traveling while 6 months pregnanct (I came back to Miami at 28 weeks and 2 days pregnant) I was traveling for a little over a month. Please also see your doctor before traveling while pregnant or taking certain things I took—each pregnancy is different.

 At the start of my pregnancy and well into the 5th month I kept throwing up pretty bad and well you can check those post to get a glimpse of how I felt! Thankfully I felt better a week before my flight so here’s some tips I recommend

 Wear compression socks! 

 This was a life saver for me because I get cramps really fast and the flight was extremely long from Miami to Istanbul. 

 Bring an empty thermos bottle! 

 Also another life saver for me (basically everything was but this was extra important!) i filled up my bottle at the Miami airport at one of their water fountains. 

 Drink lots of water while on the plane

 My doctor also recommended I drink lots of water in the plane to get up and pee as often as I can in order to prevent blood clots.

 Bring a travel pillow

 So I started getting sleepy around my fourth month of pregnancy and my head swung pretty bad in my car so I knew I needed a pillow plus you will use it if you are going on long road trips.

 Don’t forget Imodium (or anti diarrheal pills) 

 I get pretty sick when I get food poisoning and I definitely did not want to risk it. My doctor didn’t tell me about this but I asked her and she said it was okay for me to take while pregnant. She also said if it lasted longer and I got really bad to go get an IV at a hospital asap. I ended up using 1 pill when I went to the beach in Kenitra. We had breakfast there and it was a cheap restaurant so bad idea! I wasn’t the only one to get sick. I brought two boxes of pills so I had enough to share.

 Do not drink ice or from the faucet/ tap water. 

 The doctor did tell me this so I had to keep buying bottled water. Also this is where your thermos comes in handy. In morocco it was hard for me to find cold water especially down south (not ice but cold). The thermos will keep your water cool unlike plastic bottles. Just fill it with any cold bottles you buy. Also always make sure the bottles are brand new because some restaurants will fill them with tap.

 Bring extra underwear/pads

 So one new pregnancy symptom I got while in morocco was that I started to pee if I sneezed to hard or coughed! And sometimes it was ALOT! Pretty embarrassing but also if you are traveling cross country it’s bad when you have to change your underwear multiple times a day. I ended up buying underwear here but they weren’t that comfortable so do not forget.

 Bring sanitizer and wet wipes

 After going to the bathroom or just interacting with people or eating with your hands (before or after) try to always clean your hands/phone/items you touch often in order to prevent sickness. In Morocco lots of dishes are eaten with ones hands and it’s pretty easy to dirty your hands. Also don’t expect much from the restrooms. They have some old style restrooms that are basically a hole in the floor and no lie I kept getting piss splashing on my feet. Wet wipe came in handy because sometimes there’s no running water and most of the time no soap. Bring your own tissue if you need it.

  Bring comfortable bras 

 I brought 1 regular bra and 2 stretchy nursing bras. I don’t plan on coming back while pregnant or traveling for this long anywhere but just in case! I would recommend to bring more.

 Bring Tylenol 

 I used it a few times since in the start of my trip I did so much walking I was in extreme pain (lower back and legs). I also used it before arriving to the Sahara since I was really sick.

  Bring a copy of your marriage certificate 

 I honestly thought this was a bunch of nonsense when I heard that a hotel was asking for this. After all I am not from here and my husband already has citizenship in the US so why right?! But apparently I saw it on trip advisor and I probably missed it I my morocco travel book if not they really need to update.

I was fortunate to have my mother in law find mine and send us a photo. It really didn’t matter that I was pregnant and showing (little bump but still). 

 Buy fruit/snacks for later

 I didn’t each much during my pregnancy but I would wake up starving and having cookies/ fruit to calm me down was the best. The best snacks for the heat are nuts, cookies, and dates. I had a bunch of green bananas that browned in a few hours in the desert, hours....

 Don’t push yourself too hard

 I ended up pushing myself pretty hard with all the walking the first few days (11+ miles) and I started to get pain in my uterus area. Then I got a cold right before our road trip to the south of morocco. I went on a little hike but being extremely sick and pregnant didn’t help. We went later to Marrakech and I walked even more in the heat. Thankfully my hotel was wonderful and my stay there was the best. I took a day to rest up and left out seeing much of Marrakech to stay and rest but my health and the baby is first. 

 Do not go into pools/ hammams/ bath houses that look dirty

 I went to a hot spring that was extremely dirty and gross. Also I didn’t get in because that water was too hot but also think twice to not risk any vaginal infection it’s best to skip that. While there some women were advising me to not be in there because of the baby and my doctor also told me no but it wasn’t that hot for me. Also in my moms country they rinse people with COLD almost ice water so I got cold water and rinsed. Once I started to feel like it was enough I left. Don’t stay until you can’t. The one I went to wasn’t that hot at all since it was more like a medicinal water thing instead of an actual hammam. 

 Bring sneakers that are for walking with grip 

 Many places in morocco do not have the best side walks and especially the old towns can be slippery. So think of comfort and grip before fashion.

 Bring a belly support

 The road can get very bumpy in the car and it made my uterus HURT. Unfortunately I must have taken mine out of my luggage before I came but I know it would have been useful.

   Other tips I wish I would have known/taken:

   Be careful with medication here

  Even throat spray. I bought one and it made my heart rate go up. My husband thought it would be fine because Google says so but I never asked my doctor about it. Plus careful when buying headache medication here because it has penicillin (I’m allergic to that!). I went on to buy alcohol (scotch/whiskey mix) to gargle for my throat which made it better but either way it was a little too late and had to suffer with a stuffy nose, terrible cough, mucus in my lungs, and headache for around 5 days.

 Bring Vick’s and cough drops

 I couldn’t find Vick’s anywhere and when I wanted to buy it on Sunday everyone was closed. Strange for a Muslim country to close things on Sunday but either way that’s how it is so I never got my Vick’s. Vick’s will come in handy just in case you start getting sick it can help open your nasal way. 

 Don’t be cheap with your food

 What’s cheap to Americans isn’t the same thing as people living in Morocco. One family member tried to save us a bit of cash by taking us to a cheap breakfast place but it was 1 really bad tasting and 2 it gave everyone diarrhea. So make sure you use google or trip advisor or if you are in a area that doesn’t really have that just make sure your cups are clean and just see if the place looks dirty/flys on the food etc.

One thing I didn’t mind was honey bees all over my food. In many places you will see this. A honey bee isn’t dirty like a fly and i never got sick from them (i ate pastries/cookies that had been stood on honey bees and I was okay). If you want to stick to more fancier places it’s good too but sometimes you will get hungry on long road trips and those places are usually no where in sight for miles.

  How my trip went:

 Overall my trip has gone well so far minus getting really sick. And no I would never travel abroad for this long while pregnant. If you want to see only some of Morocco or anywhere for a short time and don’t plan on road trips I think it would be fine. Take into consideration the roads, the long hours etc if you are going to try and see the more natural parts of it too. 

 All the walking and the camel ride I had was uncomfortable for my belly as well as scary because I did not want to fall and going down the sand dunes with the camel was terrifying. I also wanted to have more fun and go up the sand dunes and take those cute pictures like some people on instagram do with their partners but I was so exhausted it was really hard to do anything. I basically crawled up with all 4 plus my husband pushing my butt to get up the dune. Then to sleep it was so hot in the rooms I slept outside on a sofa but my back was in even more pain. 

 At Askchour there are 3 waterfalls and I made it past the 2nd one and returned back to it to relax because the third one was another hour hiking. So again don’t push yourself too hard but remember you probably won’t be able to see everything you thought you would compared to if you weren’t pregnant (or sick or both). I wasn’t sick at this hike but I knew I still had to go back down and it was blazing hot. 

 I still have a few days left in Morocco (still sick) and then I will be heading to Turkey for 6 days. Remember that your partner has to be in this to the fullest and try to put on the shoes you are in. My husband was extremely helpful carrying basically all of my stuff everywhere and holding a back pack with my 40oz water and all the items I needed. He also needed to be extremely patient with me since I am holding our child! I needed constant food breaks, pee breaks, and belly massages/ back rubs. Also he had to slow down and wait for me to be able to catch up to certain areas or he would just not go if I couldn’t make it.  Your partner also has to remember that this will affect his vacation too and he has to be okay with that for it to work. 

[softnorwegians]

Some asks that I’m answering all together because I don’t have much to say and didn’t necessarily want to put them all on people’s dashes:

I just rewatched Season 2 and I‘m asking myself why I liked Noora that much. Besides the whole William thing. What he did to Vilde was so gross and he did not change. And let’s be hones, what happend to Noora when she was young was what William did to Vilde. Besides that. When she just directly shows Eva the tabs on Isaks Phone and talks about him and Sara in such a judgmental and mean way. And the whole Syria Crisis thing was so awkward, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to seem better 1\

2 than Eskild. And how she kissed Yousef even though she was so sure that Sana fancied him. And why? Because Sana did not tell her William had a new girlfriend. But in season 2 Noora doesn’t tell Eva about Jonas new girlfriend for a while. She tells her right before Eva and her go to the party where Jonas and his girlfriend are too. Ugh Noora in season 1 was awesome but they completely destroyed her character.

Yeah, tbh Noora was never one of my favorites? Maybe because I try to live-and-let-live and not get too judgmental so it’s extra painful to see someone failing at that. I think Noora is realistic and sometimes relatable but it can be a little hard to watch, hahaha.

I was always okay with Noora until s4 though! I absolutely got completely sick of her during s4, ajhksjf. I don’t hold kissing Yousef against her because I like to pretend that just didn’t happen but I was exhausted by how much we were seeing and hearing about her.

I’m confused as to why people are upset about William getting mad at Noora when he thought she slept with Nikolai?? Unless I’m remembering it wrong, he asked her “did you sleep with my brother” and she responded with “I don’t know” and he stormed off. That definitely doesn’t seem like an overreaction to me, just miscommunication as to what happened and what exactly Noora didn’t know (whether she was raped or not vs. whether she had consensual with him or not)

Well, “I don’t know” is an answer that doesn’t really make sense when related to the question of having sex so I think people felt like it was little ‘eh’ to not pick up on the undercurrent of what she was saying with it. But yeah, I’m not holding his initial reaction against him. It’s when he gets the texts that I’m like “...what”.

just saw this in the tag "blackmail? lol she doesn't have to go on the date. all she had to do was say "hell no" and then tell vilde what happened. it's not that serious". why did society teach us it's desirable for a man to never stop even if you say no to him, that if he just keeps pushing you'll see the light eventually. it's also funny that france leaked a key episode again to create hype. there's no way it isn't intential. i guess at least Italy will get s3 since they're in Oslo now *sighs*

I probably should have addressed more about Noora agreeing to the date but oh well. ...I have an allergic reaction to “s3” and “remake” in the same sentence. It’s making me not want to watch any of the remakes any farther, tbh.

one thing is also that he doesn't say it in a joking way, he sounds serious and it's very bad directed if that line was supposed to be a cute way of asking for consent.

Yeah, agreed, like I don’t get that at all from the line. It’s more what I figure it has to be.

If you look past how unnecessary annoying and obsessed Julie made Vilde (to a point some people probably thought it all was Vilde and not William), she also had a pattern with Norh*lm. His friends get beat up instead of him, he acts like 180, Noora doesn't owe him. He gets mad and hurt when she tells the truth, he walks away and she lays it out again but she kisses him. She doesn't know if she was assaulted but she has to get him back when he's been hurt. What a mess but boyfriend goalz!

I’m tired.

If it's hard to see how Wilhelm pressured Noora then switch it out to be about sex or coming out of the closet and add in how everything affects Vilde with her eating disorder and fragilness with her feelings then perhaps it's clear as a day.

Sorry, I’m not quite following this one! But I feel like I would support you. 😁

I don't see why peolke think william changes in s2? He gets points from his fans that he stops sleeping with girls, is gentle and soft (Vilde said he was that and that's why she fell back to her, NHs must really dislike Vilde in the 2.8 scene), doesn't pressure her with sex after she says she wants to wait, doesn't read her messages, finishes her essay while she's sleeping after a panic attack and GOSH doesn't leave his love in that state to party hard. Then ignores/levavs her when he finds out.

I’m still with Vilde, she deserved better than William and why isn’t that true for Noora too?

I would actually say literally nothing I hate about willhelm (besides not using a condom) is stuff heard via rumors and gossip and actually just through stuff he actually does onscreen lol. Also even if He never would've actually told Vilde about what happened threatening to do so isn't any better sorry

I just really hate in general that he’s leveraging something to get to Noora. I mean, she does agree to this date (offscreen) but even then, it was a bargain and not because she actually wanted to be there. What kind of “date” is that. I just hate seeing that in any context, a woman coerced into a “romantic” situation.

“Take Vilde, she reveals he was loyal, caring and gentle when they had sex beforehand we were made to believe the opposite was true”..Um and then he slept with every girl in school. I mean sleep with whoever you want, however many people you want but being gentle and nice in sex doesn’t mean your a good person. That is the opposite of loyal.... I don’t even hate William honestly think I hate Noora more but the pro side always reaches so hard only people who reach more are the Jonas haters.

Oh, yes, I didn’t comment on that but the “loyal” definitely doesn’t apply.

I agree we should have gotten way more Vilde and Even content and way less Noora and William drama. I hated the way Vilde was portrayed(the comments she made about Sana to the Pepsi max girls and just some stuff she did/said we’re not cool and I didn’t like that it was kinda brushed aside)and don’t get me started on the lack of Even. He was(I’m assuming)a big part of her life, he was best friends with her brother and was probably around a lot and we just didn’t get the storyline they deserved.

*pours one out for the s4 we imagined during the hiatus* 

Common trauma? Amazing how William knows Noora doesn't feel loved and left by her parents yet he shuts her out and leaves her after he's seen her having a panic attack when she can't breathe and says she feels as if she's going to die over something she isn't ready to share yet. And this is supposed to be a desirable relationship? At least they are attractive? But attractive white fuckboys have always gotten what they point at.

Yeahhhhhhhh, it really does make it harder to excuse what he does when he knows something is wrong and she’s actually pretty upfront with “there’s something I have to tell you but can’t yet”.

it's amazing how most 18/19 are decent at that age and you get to vote, drive and drink, but if you are a rich badboy you have a right to act however you want and people must forgive you in the end. since julie never made his bff chris be more than a second supporting character, why couldn't he be the huge asshole instead and wilhelm had to be torn with his loyalty? then I rmbr the blackmail date did so he missed defending his boys, tg s1 didn't say it was the date's fault he wasn't there! 😊

I don’t even mind that they started William out as an asshole, they just went too far with it imho and never pointed out “this behavior is wrong and we know it” and he never had to atone or redeem himself for what he did.

n8rhelm is supposed to be the classic hate to love story, there's a million movies but ive never seen one where the person is terrible to the love interest and manipulate them like this. also william is a really weak actor, don't know if that doesn't translate,all he have is his looks and glaring stares. he couldn't even deliver pretending to be a bad actor with niko there or when he tells nooea to be quick with the water. he has no timing or natrualness, only kisses and react n's great acting

I find Thomas Hayes to be... not a great actor but also not completely terrible? There’s some scenes I buy him (the marching band scene where he’s rolling his eyes I remember as good?) but he doesn’t bring a lot sometimes. idk.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “(1) ok I’m pro-noorhelm and arguing via ask is hard with a limit and I…”

And whenever Noora talks about his good qualities and whatnot, we never really get to see them. It’s all off screen. It would be easier to forgive him if we actually got to see his change, but ah well

☝ I think that would really improve things, tbh.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “the funniest argument to me used by noorh*lm stans in excusing his…”

It also perpetuates the idea that ‘no means convince me’ and that’s farked up

Ugh, yeah. That’s one of the more depressing undercurrents of s2.

daigina replied to your post “1)The truth is really in the eyes of the beholder , you guys don’t…”

I agree it’s a good move with William but it does nothing to resolve the major problem with him that season which is how he treated Noora with no discussion or explanation or apology at all. If that detail had been fitted into even a short discussion between the two over all of THAT in Williams clip that would have been soooo nice

Also that was such a tiny thing?? Like they didn’t even spare two seconds of dialogue on it, it’s barely there. If you need a magnifying glass to see character development, does it count?

Yeah, I liked that lawyer detail but it really was such a last minute, supplementary thing!

i still think julie had no idea what the fight was about in s4 or changed her mind when someone was coming back. we knew she rewrote and missed gullruten, several norwiegians reported on rumors at the time that she bearly had written the last episode when it was time for recording. she wrote the fan fave to have an unprovoked violent moments just in time to bring back the one who everyone complained had hit someone with a bottle. and how could yousef've been so wrong about what happened at bakka

oh god, let’s not even get started. it just makes me sad to think about how thrown together s4 wound up being.

Hi. Is it true that skam italia is using a white actress to play Sana, a muslim character?If so, it is wrong in so many levels, tbh!

I believe the actress is white and isn’t a muslim. And yeah, nagl. 

I feel like that with skam france they have the intention to do a season 3 and want it to start in autumn to align with the original series. I’m not saying I agree or like this tactic but it seems to make the most sense of why. Sure the time span is short between 1 and 2 but it’s not the most unrealistic. The director said he went on this project because of season 3 especially so I guess that’s why I think it’s like this. It would be more odd for Lucas to move in to the flat during the year.

Oh god... sorry, not you, I’m just at the point where I really don’t like being reminded that season three will ever be remade anywhere.